#what happened on Shun eye? I dont have a full idea on it BUT it was cause him to have a vision

[hcpefulmarshmallow]

Anonymous said:

Once i saw a video on youtube explaining a certain "anime character type", and it compared Akechi with Nagito. (I dont remember the other characters the video mentioned) what are your thoughts about it? Do you think they're similar?

You know, Anon, the dumb lizard brain that governs my every impulse wants to point at them and say: “mentally unstable twinks with great hair and a Very Heterosexual rivalry with the protagonist” and call it a day. Here’s the thing, though: my feelings about Akechi started strong and stayed that way throughout my Persona 5 experience, though the nature of those feelings has changed drastically since my first impression. (And I quote: “Who’s this Light Yagami-looking motherfucker? No, I don’t trust him. That smile is the last thing someone saw.”) And I want to talk about him. I also never don’t want to talk about Nagito. So you know what? I’m gonna. 

 Spoilers, by the way. 

    ---

 In short, I do feel they fall into a very specific character archetype. Namely: the morally ambiguous foil to the main character. Not a villain, not a hero, but rather somebody who follows their own moral code. With a dash of insanity, of course, because anime gonna anime. 

 For me, their most intriguing similarities run deeper than a trope, however, and it all starts with this inflated sense of self-importance they seem to share. I know what I said, just go with me on this one. 

 Nagito, at a glance, seems to have the very opposite of an ego. Forever putting himself down, calling himself all kinds of worthless, and willingly throwing his very life at every cause that comes his way. But herein lies the contradiction that defines him as a character. For all his espousing that the hopeless may never be hopeful, he still leaps at the chance to become worthy. He wants so badly to be more than he is, that he struggles to see a world outside his own perception. He is, of course, compassionate and empathetic; but, unlike Hajime (or even Joker), whose talent with people comes from their respective abilities to remove themselves from a situation and see it as someone else would in order to make a moral judgement, Nagito cannot fathom a world that doesn’t conform to his ideals. Hope and despair, good and back luck -- and there he sits in the eye of it all, defeated yet somehow untouchable. He can’t watch someone trip three feet away from him without assuming his luck has played some role in it. 

 Akechi is much the same way, though he owns it a little better. He sees all things as means towards his ends. He has his idea of how the world and it’s people work, and therein lie his issues with Joker. Because he plays by his own rules, which are fundamentally incompatible with Akechi’s. Much in the same way as Nagito becomes fixated on Hajime, the Ultimate, talentless, worthless, most shining beacon of hope there is; Akechi sees how Joker is consistently beaten down by life and yet strives to carve his own path, and is unable to cope with either the jealously or the admiration he feels, never mind any combination thereof. Moreover, he, too, desires to rise above and be more than he is: the hero of his own story, despite taking rather unheroic steps to get there. 

 I would, of course, be remiss not to mention the similarities in their upbringings that lead to these insecurities. Nagito lost both his parents at a young age, and from there, we’re given no indication of any long-term adult influence in his life. Quite the opposite, he seems to have been demeaned and shunned by his extended family at large. It is also implied at times that his parents were not very loving, though there is some debate around that, so take it as you will. Akechi was abandoned by his father who deemed his mother beneath him because she was a sex worker, and was left with a seething hatred for the man because of it. After his mother’s suicide, he was passed from institution to institution, likewise having no long-term positive influence in his life.

 Both were left to, essentially, raise themselves; glean their own image of the world and build their moral compass around lives that were unimaginably cruel, ruthless, and unfair. Thus, it’s likely their worst behaviours could have been avoided, had they stable home lives. Of course, this is no excuse, plenty of people grow up in unstable environments and don’t go on to harm others, however, it places them a step above senseless. In fact, they also share an incredible intellect, charm, good looks, and quite the way with words. If you’ve played both games, you know what I’m talking about. 

 Furthermore, they have this habit of standing on the outside, looking in. Nagito spends much of DR2 implying heavily that he would like to spend more time with the others as their friend, but does little to actually reach out to them. Viewing himself below them, and seeing no reason why such incredible people would want to hang out with trash like him. Akechi also keeps the Thieves at a distance. There are many times when they reach out to him, offer to help him find his way -- and he almost seems to want to. Yet it is as if he doesn’t know how. He has no idea what, besides hatred and spite, could possibly fuel him. Nor does he really know what there is for him to gain from forming genuine bonds with others, or why he should want them. But he does, that much is clear. They each crave acceptance, while accepting it as a lost cause, even as the protagonist of their respective games has their hand out to them. And this, once again, can likely be traced to their equally terrible upbringings, and lack of any real understanding of the world as it is, rather than as they see it. 

 I could absolutely go on all day down this path. And, hell, at some point, I might. But the overall theme I’m getting at here, is this delicate balance these two characters walk. Being soft and charming, and deadly and dangerous. Intelligent, yet profoundly ignorant. Eccentric and borderline reprehensible, but at the same time, deeply relatable, and extremely likeable. They aren’t psycho for the sake of it, and I’ll argue that to my grave. But moreover, what we have here is the ultimate products of the worlds they were made for. Parallels are drawn constantly between Nagito and Hajime, Akechi and Joker, in a “there but for the grace of god go I” way, and it falls the same every time. Joker forged a home among friends, and people he considered family. Even after being hurt, he found the strength to be vulnerable for someone, and that someone happened to be the right someone; and though these people, he became stronger still. Likewise, Hajime took risks, took responsibility, and became respected and loved through hard work and compassion. He faced his own fear of worthlessness, and in the end, he didn’t fold to it the way Nagito did. He built his own purpose in life, and it was as full of hope as any Ultimate’s. These are feats beyond comprehension to our antiheroes, who may well have turned out to be the heroes after all if they’d only been shown the same support and care. And that’s why I think this character type appeals to so many people, and why these characters become so beloved. I think we become invested in their stories, and we want to show them compassion. There’s a reason why Nagito and Akechi are frequently shipped around, why they exist in so many fix-it fics. At the end of the day, we know the difference between bad people, and people who do bad things. It’s that, the latter may not be beyond saving. 

 And finally, can I...? If you’ve played the third semester of Royal, they really just make Akechi Like That, huh? In the original Japanese, he was apparently supposed to just come off as tired and not particularly wanting to mend any of his relationships or mistakes since he knew his death was looming, so I’m not sure why they took one look at this complex character development and said, “Hm, let’s just make him balls to the wall, shall we?” but hey. I’ve got to give it to his VA, I had to put down my controller several times because holy shit. Just. Holy shit. Give that man all of the awards. All of them, every single one, please. 

[moltazia]

A court of silver flames plot rewrite

Plot doctor. SPOILERS!!!

ok so i really dislike the latest ACOTAR book, it really undercut the illyrians as cool warriors and the achievements of rhys, cas and azriel for reaching the mountain. Really 3 people whos trained for a year is alot better than people whos trained their whole life?? it also really ignored Nestas actuall skillset and seemed to try and make her feyre 2.0. in this feyre is also very much not pregnant. that whole plotline deserves its own book and since they said they wanted to wait i think it can happen 50 years into the future or something rather than the immidiate next book from the one saying they wanted to wait. also no attempted rape tacked on plot or 3 objects everyone just forgot about. if i was to do a rewrite of the plot beats and settings of the book it would go something like this:

we move it so nesta actually moves to the illyrian camp full time for her intervention. with how the human society is structured this fits her better than velaris with the more strict and defined gender roles, we can explore here how in a way she is quite alike to illyrians. cassian is frustrated that she is not on his side when it comes to training women. we see flashbacks of her life and how it was beaten into her by her parents and everyone around her that it was mens job to care for women and it was horrible and unsightly if a woman tried to do anything on her own or push to hard for something with physical force.

she helps with the womens chores but are also confronted with the ones who want more out of life and they ask her why she thinks why shouldnt they be allowed. not all women will suddenly be trained, just the ones who want to. she comes around. she makes friends with the female shop keeper, she really likes the idea of being in control of making and having her own money. flashback to the cottage, her frustration with her father for not fulfillinf the role of provider and leader he was "supposed to" and her not being able to bring herlsef to chop the wood because it will ruin her hands, hands she was told to take care of because it was a sign she was a lady. her admiration for feyre for bringing them food but that first instinct to shun her for not being feminine or adhering to her role is very strong. she doesnt know how to handle it.

life in camp settles into a routine a bit, she sees cassian caring for his people and being a gentle person, she finds this very admirable and thirts a bit. sexism being directed at her, now that shes settled in with the women well the other illyrians have started to regard her as "just another woman" she gets angry and it becomes a bigger spat. she gets some approving comment from the more outspoken women who wants to train. she asks cassian to show her some basic defense moves.

she sees a wing clipping when cassian is gone to inspect some other camt´p and she tries to intervene she cant do anything since shes too weak and illyrians are stone hard super warriors. she makes the bargain with Cassian this time its for protection if another spat happends and so through the bargain she could summon him.

the evil queen attacks the camp with autumn court soldiers. its a disaster and alot of people die. since it was made clear they were soley after nesta she gets blamed for the attack in the high emotions after when people find their loved ones dead. she cant stay in the camp any longer.

cassian and her leaves for the court of nightmares, meeting up with the gang and Eris to discuss whats happened.(before eris arrives it is tense between her and feyre, fyre tries to hug her after hearing what happened and nest cant stand to ahve someone be kind to her after feeling like shes to blame and shrugs her off) it is agreed since nesta is a mostly neutral person to the rest of the courts and the one most trained in court manners she will be the one to go with Eris back to the autumn court to investigate. cassian will come with her as her personal guard. as the queens sister it is not something off about that arrangement. to give a reason for her to visit the autumn court they decide to fake a romance between eris and nesta. same ballroom scene as in the book.

longer flashback of nestas life right before poverty, shes the ultimate mean girl and a social butterfly, switching masks to be different people to different artistocrats with ease. shes admired and she holds high society in her small lace gloved hand. they arrive in the autumn court. she gets a "low" faerie assigned to her as a handmaiden. she has a audience with Beron and his wife.

Eris is a much better mirror for nesta than cassian. he is the same as her in many regards, growing up in a strict role. missing a step in the social dance can mean death (symbolically for nesta growing up, real here). putting on an uncaring mask to not show how intensly you care is a big theme in this part. Eris and Nesta are great at playing "the game" toghether and cassian as her silent bodyguard grows to admire her slyness and how great an actress she is, manipulating the courtiers to giving information and making accurate conclusions from their clothes and manners ("we can pressure X person to do this, their clothes are a season old and they are doing their own hair because its messier in the back where they cant see it in the mirror, this means they cant afford a hand maid anymore. give them a bribe and they will do anythign" etc). she and eris starts growing a friendship of two people who see alot of themselves in eachther.

they are figuring out the evil queen, but some moves from the enemy doesnt make sense, theres a third player in this game they realise (death god lake dude). the trio have become comfortable with each other and are hanging out and putting together their intel and gossip. Nesta becomes friends with her handmaiden. this helps break down her elitist and class barriers in her head a bit. while feyre has her painting it is to messy for nesta when she tried it.  but shes always loved clothes (we can see a bit of it in the first book even), she starts putting her own touch on dresses throughout the book and starts designing her own even. we can see how many in the court she has won over to her, cassians and eris´s side by what courtiers copy details from her designs.

she makes her handmaiden some nice outfits. we can also learn what nesta likes about herself here, in the dresses she designs: what does she emphasize, what does she hide? while she probably has a whole range of outfits to make her look anything from innocent to evil queen what does she wear when shes just "nesta"?  Feyre once remarked she hated her eyes because they reminded her of her mother and nesta. does nesta feel the same way or does she like her eyes for just the same reason? combat training with cassian continues in secret. some fun wrestling or close combat fighting flirting. she reflects on the fact that while she "let loose" in velaris and slept around she would never sleep with him casually, she knows it would mean somethign and she wouldnt be able to brush it off if she did. he asks her to teach him something aswell or explain some etiquette thing. idk, poin is that they are learning from eachother and admire each others strenghts. she says to him she thinks hes very brave to never masks his feelings but notes it leaves him open to manipulation easily. he asks back if shes then thinks herself a coward for always masking herself. conversation started out nice but turns sour.

Autumn court outing, she and cassian makes up and she opens up to him about her and feyres realtionship. we can also maybe get some more background on why shes so protective of elain here, as someone whos described to be so beautiful and charming i dont buy its because someone was like once mean to her. elain would have been popular in her own right.

she and eris ride together and jokes and such, he makes some halfjoking remark about cassian maybe and she defends him. they talk about family pressures and parental figures who are very imposing and bossy while the other is passive (something they have in common) eris lets down his guard a bit and talks about how he doesnt want to be like that, he doesnt want his future partner to be trapped in the same situation either. she talks about how she never really thought about how married life would be like growing up, everythign was about getting married. the after wasnt something discussed. she thinks about if she would ever want a family, she probably assumed she would have children one day (it was expected) but the only thing she can imagine is a perfect child like she was. she starts being afraid of if she has children she would turn into her mother. she has a quick image of cassian as a dad with a smiling little girl in his arms.

throughout this whole thing nesta is writing letters to the night court, it is expected since shes the high ladys sister and since they are surely read they use it to throw suspicion in the wrong places to beron about what she sees and suspects. but as she writes and recieves back letters and she reflects and improves on who she is, her letters become more heartfelt. doing some work to improve their relationship a bit. in her dresses she starts sewing in hidden pockets. Cassian gifts her a dagger, saying he thinks she will be able to be marginally more dangerous to others than herself by now with it. she makes a special hidden pocket for it and always has it on her.

the trio finds out who in the autumn court is the death gods agent and kidnaps them. azriel comes by to get information through torture but the agent does not break. Nesta goes in and through playing a perfect balance between caring and arrogant she gets the agent to slip up and give them a clue about where they will strike next, what they are after. Azriel is impressed, notes she is a a great interrogator and would make a great spy for him. he also notes to cassian about how shes changed alot since he saw her last. more focused and balanced in herself. Eris notes how she reminds him of Amarantha from the first book before she betrayed everyone and cassian gets mad he would say something like that. back and forth but and eris notes how "a knife is a knife, its about how its wielded." and pointing out that just because a person was an enemy on the battlefield doesnt mean he couldnt admire a skilled warrior. and so likening her to amarantha was a compliment. cassian huffily agrees and sees their, to his mind, more boring socialite nights with a new eye. same revelation as in the original book when nesta read battlefield books and saw how like it was to a court but for cassian instead.

the clue from the death gods agent leads them to trying to go after the mcguffin under the guise of a romantic trip. think a bunch of weapons hidden in a picknic basket. Handmaiden comes along to make it look real. on the perilous trip they all work together and and finally gets it, on the way back to bring the macguffin to meet up with nighcourt gang so amren can study it, they get attacked by the queens cronies again. Eris has the mcguffin and the handmaiden on his horse and rides off, making the smart decision to first and foremost get it out of the enemies reach and try and lure them off cassian and nesta. it doesnt work. the evil queen is overcome by her hatred for nesta and order her soldier after her instead of the mcguffin. nestas had some training but cant hold off soldiers whos trained for centuries and gets taken. she sees cassian being overwhelmed but still trying to get to her. she invokes the bargain of favour they made to force him to abandon her. they share a long look before he is forced by the bargain to fulfill her wish.

Eris and Cassian meets up the NC gang and they are besides themselves. a rescue mission is put toghether. Feyre insists on coming "she came for me, trying to pass the wall". handmaiden stays with azriel and amren.

Nesta wakes up in The evil queens castle. we get some one on one talks with the villain. we get insight into her motivations and why she valued her youth so much. we get to see how Nesta used to also think the most valuable thing about herself was how well she could appeal to others and the power that gave in a society wich was designed to make her powerless. she now finds it a bit sad and reflects on how much she values her new friendships and how cassian would probably still like her even if she wasnt traditionally beautiful anymore. The Villain starts draining her blood bathory style to get her youth back. agents of the deathgod comes and makes her stop before Nesta dies. he has bigger plans for her. Evil Queen looses her shit at not getting to kill her.

we see eris, feyre, and cass making plans for how to get in and rescue Nesta. some heart to heart between feyre and Cas about his feelings for Nesta and how hes holding off on showing her them. He talks about how hes seen alot get thrown at her. he talks about how she havent gotten to choose alot in her life and so in a way he hates the bond because he himself realises that that is yet another thing she havent gottent to choose. feyre wonders if nesta thinks he isnt attracted to her. that she thinks cassian only said what he said in the heat of the moment on the battefield. Cassian is dumbstruck by how anyone could not be attracted to nesta.

Evil queen comes by to taunt nesta in her cell. they exchange barbs and she lies and says she killed "her warrior" to mess with her. Nesta doesnt believe her but still gets anxious. has a twinge of doubt anyones goign to rescue her. elaine has always been with her when things go bad and a part of her thinks they only got rescued because of her since everyone loves elaine and now when its just her will they still come?

shes to be transported somwhere by the evil deathgods cronies and the evil queen is accommpanying them. the rescue trio sees them leaving. their whole plan on infiltration flies out the window and they have to move quick. Feyre uses her shape shifting to look human and makes herself bait. running at the caravan of nestas captors when theyve left the city (a castle usually have a city around it) screaming theres fae attacking from there pointing to the right as eris and cass attack from the completely opposite side. in the chaos nesta gets loose and starts running for the trees evil queen blindly pursue her and tries to kill her. with her arms free she grabbs the hidden dagger from her dress and kills the queen in self defense. the rescue trio finds her and they all go back to Night Court.

the book concludes with her and cassian having a heart to heart about how he was so worried he would loose her again and she admitting how she certainly feels somethign for him but she wants to take it slow. (her being terrified of showing her true raw feelings have yet to be resolved. her admitting this much is a big step forward for her) and they have a super smoldery kiss.

end of book. sets up evil lake dude as big baddie, nesta gets to have her own skillset instead of being yet another warrior and next book can build on the change illyrian culture regarding women plot aswell. and makes the sex have some build up.

this whole thing was of course just my personal opinion, and an impulsive plot and theme re-write. rant over.

[floatingpetals]

Peace and Quiet?

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Angst-ish, language, the reader makes a poor decision, fluff as well  

Word Count: 5900+ 

Request: “I seriously love your longer one shots! Could you please do a Cap (or Bucky) + reader, where the reader is kinda loud/outgoing because of not wanting to be forgotten or something? And the reader figures they make him uncomfortable and shuts everyone out, leading to him confessing he likes the reader? Fluff please?” @homeybadger

A/N:  Wow so uhh, this has been a request that’s been sitting in my inbox for sooooo looonnng. No seriously, like super long. I feel so bad that it’s taken me just now to get to it. I wanted to do something nice with it, but I just couldn’t get it right, then I forgot it was there and then I remember and scrapped the whole thing. I hope you enjoy this story and I hope the length makes up for it! I did not mean to take so long on this! I hope you all enjoy!! 

**I’m also debating on doing a second part, but it all depends on the feedback I get. So please let me know what you think! ❤

Gifs not mine, credit to the creator!

“Oh, bad luck. You landed on Boardwalk,” Sam smirked, a giggle beginning to bubble in his chest as the rage that was settling on Y/N’s face across the table. She glared at the double dice, a freaking snake eye, that had been against her the entire game. “And if my math is correct, with my three houses you owe me $1400. And from the looks of your very sad pile, you’ll have to sell everything on top of declaring bankruptcy.”

“I hate this game!” Y/N screamed, throwing down the $300 hundred she had left.

“Hey, don’t hate the game!” Natasha shot back, grinning behind her beer bottle. Y/N shot her glare.

“Oh, shut up! You and Clint have been cheating the entire time and you know it!” she growled. Clint gasped but was cut off by a sharp jab in the ribs by Bucky. He grumbled and pulled out the chance cards he had stashed away, and nudge Natasha to pull out the money she had hidden away. “See! This game sucks!”

“Now, now. No need to go all green on us.” Tony grinned. Bruce made a noise before letting out a puff of air. Irritated with both the game and how smug everyone was acting, Y/N exploded with a primal battle cry.

“Fuck this game! You people are all cheaters!”

Everyone had enough time to grab their drinks off before Y/N flipped the table, the pieces flying everywhere. Bucky and Wanda both doubled over in their seats, howling when Y/N began to scream at Tony, who jumped up and was yelling back at the same volume. Clint and Natasha were grinning like idiots as the mayhem grew. Bruce rolled his eyes when Sam jumped in, normally the tone the room shifted would set him on edge, but this wasn’t unusual. The only person that wasn’t reacting, save for Vision who had no idea why tensions were so high over a silly game, was Steve.

He had decided to sit this game night out. After the Mario Party debacle, he wasn’t ready to jump back in the ring. Thor spun a wheel and tossed a dart to cut someone’s stars in half. He landed on Y/N’s. While she was once in the lead, that cut her stars in half and she was suddenly in last place. That was fine. It was when she was hit by Bowser, who Tony was playing as when they managed to let him loose of his little prison that she flipped her lid. The team got a kick out of her raging at the games, and all banded together to see how quickly she could snap. Steve, however, didn’t see the charm in it.

To put it lightly, Y/N was a lot to handle. She was everywhere all at once to begin with, her voice carrying through walls. There wasn’t a single mean bone in her body, aside from her intense competitive streak. She seemed to win over anybody. Steve still wasn’t sure. He’d admit, she was sweet and everyone else seemed to love her. Steve thought she was cute too, sometimes she would fall asleep on the couch and he’d find himself taking advantage of her stillness to stare. But she never stopped to breathe once it seemed. He couldn’t recall a time where she wasn’t talking loudly about something or practically bouncing off the walls from excitement. She was a lot more than he was used to. Y/N made his head spin. It wasn’t terrible, but it was a bit exhausting after a while around her. It also didn’t help that sometimes her power manifested with her growing emotions. Which is what was happening right now.

“You’re the one who wanted us to play this stupid game!” Tony accused, rolling his eyes.

“Did not! I specifically said that I thought it was a stupid idea because I always end up flipping a table! You’re the one who then said we had to play it since learning that bit of information.” She countered pointing a finger at him. Tony stopped, a sly grin spreading across his face.

“Oh yeah.”

“Ugh!” She grumbled. “You people are so frustrating! Why do you do this to me?!”

“Because it’s fun.” Tony grinned, his eyes flashing with glee. That was the wrong thing to say. Now Y/N really was angry. She grits her teeth and balled her fists at her side. If this was a cartoon, she’d have steam coming out of her ears she was so angry. Unbeknownst to her, her powers started to manifest with her mounting fury, afflicting the others in the room.

Y/N’s power was special and even a bit strange considering how specific it was. Since she could remember, Y/N always had the gift to control the aura around her to suppressed others authority and leadership skills. It was a power that had come handy in her life, but also hindered her more than it helped. She had a rather strong grip on it at all times, but sometimes that control slipped. Tony’s face paled, and everyone else around her started to shift uncomfortably.

“Uh-Y/N.” Wanda reached out, her fingers gently brushing against the back of Y/N’s arm. Wanda flinched, the contact enough to send her the full force of Y/N’s strange power, but she fought to stay strong. Y/N blinked, quickly realizing the shift in the room was because of her. Her shoulder’s dropped and the suffocating aura surrounding her disappeared. The room sighed collectively in relief.

“See. This is why you shouldn’t poke the bear.” Y/N huffed, crossing her arms against her chest. Tony chuckled and shook his head.

“It’s nice to know you’re aware.” Sam let out a laugh as well, grinning widely at her. She grumbled under her breath and turned to sit back in her seat. As she did, she scanned the room and noticed a spot empty. Standing straighter she glanced around the room.

“Hey, where did Steve go?”

The group collectively turned around, just now noticing the empty seat their Captain once took up as well. Bucky frowned and shot a look to Natasha, who seemed on the same page. Slowly, he turned to back to Y/N.

“Uh... Maybe he decided to turn in early.” He tried. The team seemed to take it, albeit skeptically. He had been doing this a lot lately, getting up at disappearing without a word. No one wanted to say it aloud, but they all noticed it happened around the time Y/N came to the team four months ago.

Y/N stilled, her eyes hardening for a split second before they seemed to glaze over. Shaking her head, she heaved a sigh.

“I’m gonna turn in early too. Sorry, this little outburst just took a lot out of me.” She said, stepping over the discarded pieces and was out of the room before anyone could argue. The room had shifted into a subdued atmosphere, everyone thinking the same thing.

“Someone needs to talk to him.” Wanda murmured. Bucky nodded, letting out a sigh.

“I’ll talk to him.” He said. The rest all murmured in agreement, slowly trickling out the room since game night clearly was done for the evening. They could only hope tomorrow would end on a better note.

~~~~~~~

Y/N sat on her bed, clinging to her favorite stuffed animal wondering just where she went wrong. Since she joined the team a few short months ago, she had been trying her best to get close to the rest of her teammates. Naturally, she was a bubbly person. But her gift made it harder for her to get close to anyone. Her parents thought it was odd, the power came from nowhere when she hit the age of three. It took them time to figure out that it wasn’t because she was incredibly intimidating and that she was unintentionally suppressing their confidence level.

They spent years taking her to doctors and specialists that might be able to help her control her powers. It wasn’t without consequences. Because she struggled for so long to control her powers, she spent a lot of her life unintentionally hurting those around her.

Her classmates didn’t know what exactly, but they knew something was wrong with her. She spent the majority of her school years alone in the corner, shunned from taking part of anything in her classes. If anyone tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, something always went wrong. They were terrified of her. The fear turned to indifference and eventually, they paid her no mind. No one wanted her in their lives. But for Y/N, she wanted nothing more than to be accepted and included.

Which might explain why she was the way she was today. It took years to master her control, but she did it. And now that she was an Avenger, she was surrounded by people who were like her. Special and unique. Nowhere else could she be herself as she could here. This was her last chance of being free and she never wanted to be forgotten.

It didn’t take her long to win over the others. They were more than aware of what she could do. Not a one batted an eyelash, no one shrank away in fear they’d be subjected to the smothering fear she could plague them with. If anything, it fascinated them. She was the one who they’d send in to interrogate. Whether on location or in a holding cell, it didn’t matter. Her power was a gift to get the tightest of lips to talk. For the first time in her life, Y/N felt as though she had finally found her calling.  

Y/N was proud of how far she had come. It was years of uphill battles and year left in the shadows. But now, she had it all, friends, her family and a job she loved. All except the acceptance of Steve. He was polite, but he always had an air of discomfort around her. Not with anyone else, just her. Y/N hated to admit it, but it hurt.

Since the day she met him, Y/N fell hard. Who couldn’t though? He was charming, cared for his friends and protective of his family. But for some reason, he just didn’t seem like he enjoyed being around her. Perhaps, she thought, it was something she said to him. She couldn’t recall anything that might set his teeth on edge, but she was at a loss.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Y/N set her stuffed animal down on the bed and swung her legs over the side. She knew she shouldn’t dwell too much on it. He could very well be in a bad mood, and it could confidently only be when she’s in the same room. She snorted. Yeah, that was it.

No, she thought, there was something more about it. Thinking back all the times she noticed he’d got running, realization hit her like a freight train. Every time he ran, it was because of something she did. It was her. A broken sob crept it’s way up her throat. She was the reason, that was the only thing it could be. Steve Rogers, the man who unknowingly held her heart in his hands, was uncomfortable with her. She clenched the sheets of the bed and held back her tears.

Y/N had to change. Her behavior had always been a problem, she knew that. She was so terrified of being left alone and forgotten again, she let her eagerness go too far. Falling back on the bed, she stared at the ceiling and came to a life-altering decision.

~~~~~

“Hey! There you are!” Natasha grinned motioning Y/N over to her mat. “I was wondering if you’d ever show up or if I’d have to go up to pull you out of bed.”

Y/N didn’t respond with her usual quip, just sent her a tight-lipped smile and a soft apology. Natasha blinked her lack of typical response slightly off-putting. Where was her boisterous hello and never-ending pouts of energy? It was one of the fun things about working out with Y/N first thing in the morning. This wasn’t usual of her at all.

“Okay.” Natasha drawled, looking over Y/N to try and decipher her new attitude. “Well, let’s get started on stretching you at, then we’ll get on the mat to spar.”

Y/N wordlessly nodded, moving over to where the yoga mats were laid out waiting for her. Natasha took up the spot next to her, keeping her eyes especially close on Y/N. Aside from her uncharacteristically quiet demeanor, it didn’t seem like there was a hair out of place on her. Although, her movement seemed a bit on the robotic side. Y/N was just going through the motions, getting done with her stretches before wordlessly making her way over to the mats without a glance to Natasha.

Natasha sat up and watched Y/N leave without a word, flabbergasted. Things seemed fine last night, aside from Steve’s abrupt disappearance. As far as Natasha knew, Y/N had gone straight to her room to sleep. And everyone was either here in the gym or Tony and Bruce in the lap. So, what happened to Y/N?

“Hey, you okay?” Natasha asked, catching Y/N’s elbow.

“What do you mean?” Y/N tilted her head to the side, brows furrowed.

“I don’t know,” Natasha said slowly, her gaze narrowing the longer she stared at Y/N. “You just seem… off today.”

“Oh.” She uttered simply. “Yeah. I’m good.”

Pulling her arm away from Natasha, Y/N wandered over to where Sam was now standing with Bucky. Their smile grew at the sight of her, both unaware of Y/N’s new behavior.

“Good morning sunshine!” Sam beamed at her, wrapping her up in a hug. Y/N let out a faint giggle as she hugged him back. Bucky grinned and tilted his head in greeting.

“Morning doll. You sleep okay last night? I didn’t hear your snores through the paper-thin walls last night.”  He teased, nudging her with his shoulder. Y/N huffed but surprisingly bit her tongue.

“Morning Bucky. Yeah, I slept fine.” Y/N shrugged, her face showing little to no emotions. “We ready to get started.”

Both men were stunned, completely thrown off by her sudden change. They shot Natasha a startled look, who could only shrug. She hadn’t the faintest idea either what happened. Y/N wasn’t supplying them with anything either, so all they could do was continue as if nothing was wrong. It didn’t mean they weren’t going to question her later of course.

Getting done with their training was odd, uncomfortable even. Y/N didn’t speak unless spoken to, and even then they were short simple answers. There was none of her usual spunkiness that fought back with each quip Sam sent her way. He even tried to rile her up, he almost pulled out all the stops in a hope to gain a reaction from her. But she didn’t move an inch. Bucky tried to get her to react when he threw a punch harder than necessary her way. They thought they had her, there was a spark of fury in her eyes after she picked herself up, but she quickly wiped the expression on her face.

In the end, Y/N went through the motions, doing what needed to be done without her usual flare. At one point, Wanda had even commented on how unusually quiet she had been. When Y/N left to head to the locker room, she cornered Bucky and Sam.

“What did you two do?” she hissed, jabbing a finger in Sam’s chest. He made a noise in the back of his throat offended at the accusation.

“What the hell makes you think we did anything?” Bucky crossed his arms across his chest. Wanda turned her narrow gaze to Bucky.

“Well. Something happened to her. And I know Natasha wouldn’t do anything to hurt her.”

“Oh and we would?” Sam snapped, shaking his head. “We didn’t do anything to her Wanda, she was like this when she came in.”

“He’s right.” Natasha interrupted, siding with the two men. “She’s been like this all morning. I have no clue why.”

The door the locker room opened, Y/N walking freshly out of the shower and a new change of clothes. She stopped short when she saw all four eyes locked on her across the room. Awkwardly, she waved to them before heading to the exit. Right as she reached it, Steve swung open the door, towel in hand. His steps faltered and a tight-lipped smile passed on her face.

The group couldn’t see her face from where they stood. All they could see was her nod her head once before stepping around Steve with a wide berth to head out the exit. Steve was left stunned. It wasn’t normal to not have his ear talked off when it came to Y/N. Blinking rapidly, he wandered over to Bucky, brows furrowed in confusion.

“What she say?” Wanda asked. Steve’s mouth fell open to answer but couldn’t find the right words.

“Uh… Nothing.” He shrugged.

“And you don’t find that strange?” Wanda asked the group, pinning each of them with her stare. Bucky bristled at the insinuation, his hands balling into fists.

“We never said it wasn’t. We just have no idea what’s wrong with her.” He snapped, stepping up with his back straighter and shoulders set. Wanda glared right back, red seeping into her eyes. Natasha wiggled her way between them, grumbling under her breath.

“Alright. Alright, enough.” She held her hands out to both, pushing them back. “Wanda, we have no clue what happened. Y/N walked in like this. It’s probably nothing and she’s just having an off day. Why don’t we just let whatever happened run its course and see how she is through the rest of the day. No point on biting each other’s heads off when we all did nothing wrong.”

The group grumbled their agreement, still not at ease with how the morning had turned. Steve was just as concerned as the rest. It was odd that she didn’t greet him with her megawatt smile when he walked in the gym, and it was odd how her face seemed to tighten at the sight of him. All he got this morning was a tight-lipped smiled before she ran out the door. What was even odder was the fact that she seemed to give him as much space as possible. As if she didn’t want to get too close.

Steve turned to the door, his brows creased and mouth in a tight line. Something was going on with Y/N, but who was he to worry about her?

~~~~~~~~

Things hadn’t gotten much better with Y/N over the next few days. She had stopped taking part in the loud discussions that always managed to start up in the kitchen or the living room. Her words were short and few in between, but she didn’t seem upset. Just much more subdued than usual. When someone would speak to her, so would she. But it was never the same volume as before.

Sam and Clint both made it their mission to get her to snap. They did everything from switching her sugar to salt in her coffee to going into her room and putting baby powder in her hair dryer. Nothing worked. She would just sigh and turn her back to them, shoulders tense. They thought she’d give up and go back to her old ways, but nothing worked. Not even Natasha could get her to admit what was wrong.

Steve, however, was taking her attitude change harder than the rest. Don’t ask him why he didn’t even know. He thought he’d prefer her at a lower decibel, he assumed she would be more manageable and easier to get along with. But this, this wasn’t what he thought it would be like. To him, it almost seemed creepy. This wasn’t the Y/N he had come to know. The wasn’t the same woman in the slightest. It was as if someone else swapped personalities with her.

Y/N hadn’t shown any improvement in her attitude in the field either. Actually, she seemed to be less productive now. One of the ways she managed to get people to confess was using her power and then releasing it. There she’d act like a good cop, bargaining with them for information and if they didn’t give her what she wanted, she’d switch her powers back on again. Now, she just threw herself into it. There was no build up, no false sense of security.

Just last week they needed information about the next hit Hydra ordered. They apprehended one of the agents and sent in Y/N to get out the information when he wouldn’t fess up. The team assumed the old Y/N would come out now that she was in the field. Instead, she walked in and used the full force of her powers on the man. She was already so powerful, but she had a strong grip on her control. When her power flared to life, even with the thick walls it suffocated everyone.

The agent instantly started sobbing, blubbering like a small child before it grew to mindless screaming for mercy. As it turns out, her power can actually break the human spirit and shatter their sanity into a thousand pieces. It only affected the man in front of her, but it still rattled the rest of the group. Steve was furious.

“What the hell was that?!” He snarled, dragging Y/N into a conference room. She blinked, her face unmoving despite the rage rolling off him in waves. Tony, Fury, and Maria both sat around the meeting table, their mouths pulled into thin lines. She tore her gaze away, refusing to look at anyone in particular as Steve raged on. “You ruined any chances of getting information out of him!”

“Actually Cap, she ruined any chance of him being a normal human being again,” Tony interjected, pulling up a hologram of the doctor's report. The mental status report had been sent in a few moments before Steve dragged her in. The poor man couldn’t remember his name let alone the information they needed.

Y/N pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers and let out a heavy breath. When she opened them, their faces hadn’t changed a bit. Settling on a point at the table, the brief glimpse she caught of their expressions was burned in her mind. Steve was livid, Tony seemed borderline irritated with a hint of amusement, while Fury and Maria both had a hard expression that told her she was in for it for the next few weeks.

“Look. I’m sorry. I let a few personal matters get to me and clearly, I didn’t handle it well.” She said calmly. Steve flinched at how lifeless she sounded when she mentioned her personal matter and shot Tony a concerned look. Tony tilted his head in acknowledgment, he too aware of the pain she seemed to be suppressing. “I can’t promise it won’t happen again by accident, but I’ll make sure to put more training in to ensure it doesn’t.”

Fury shifted in his seat, folding his hands on his crossed knee. His single eye narrowed as he looked her over and gave her a curt nod.

“See that it doesn’t agent. Dismissed.” He said curtly. Y/N’s eyes fluttered shut for a spilt-second before she jerked her chin and spun at heel to leave the room. After the door shut behind her, Fury grunted.

“What did you people do to her?” He accused, leveling Steve and Tony with a stare. Both men frowned and glanced at the other.

“We didn’t do anything.” Tony snapped, narrowing his eyes. Steve set his hand on the back of a chair and sighed.

“She’s been like this for almost a week now. This is the first time she’s actually admitted something wrong.” Steve replied, his brows furrowing at the tightness in his chest at the idea. It wasn’t like Y/N to keep everything bottle up inside her like this.

“Well, whatever’s wrong with her, fix it,” Fury ordered. “She needs to be in complete control and that can’t happen when her minds on other things.”

Pushing back the chair he stood, Maria right behind him. Not waiting for a reply, he grabbed the folder off the desk and briskly left the room with Maria following. Steve flinched when the door snapped shut behind them. Tony scoffed.

“You can get rid of that sad puppy dog look, Captain.”

Steve frowned, his head snapping up to Tony.

“What’s with the tone, Tony?” He asked. Tony rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat.

“We all know you don’t like Y/N, you put up a good front though.” He waved a hand absently. “But when you dart out of a room anytime she comes in, or you won’t sit to talk with her when she comes to find you, it gets pretty noticeable.”

Steve stood taller, his mouth drawing into a tight line. He opened his mouth to argue, but it dawned on him. He hadn’t been the most welcoming person to Y/N in the few months she’s been here. Was that really how everyone perceives him? Tony smirked and shook his head.

“To put it simply; you’ve been an ass to our Y/N, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was something you did.” Groaning softly under his breath, Tony stood and grabbed his tablet. Steve’s face fell, the notion her change might have been because of him made his stomach turn. Tony clapped a hand on his shoulder, his mouth pulled into a tight line. “Like Fury said, we’re going to fix this. But don’t worry. We won’t waste your precious time.”

At that, Tony left Steve alone in the conference room, the sting of his words lingering behind. Steve’s shoulder slumped. Maybe this had been his fault. But when? How? He really didn’t think it would have been that big of a deal to leave early after the game. Maybe he thought wrong and she did take it wrong. That wouldn’t mean this complete 180 though, would it? It wasn’t the first time he escaped a game night gone wrong, and she didn’t seem upset them. Perhaps it was something else. That had to be it. He really hadn’t done anything wrong, at least he didn’t think he did.

“Hey FRIDAY,” Steve called. Immediately, the AI system responded.

“Yes, Captain?”

“Go back to the last game night, the one with monopoly, did anything happen to Y/N between the time I left, and she went to bed?” He asked. Silence met him as the computer searched the data.

“No, it doesn’t seem like anything happened. She never left her room once she entered either.” FRIDAY replied. Steve frowned, even more, confused than before. So if there wasn’t anything that happened to her then what was with change?

Clenching his jaw, Steve knew he needed to get to the bottom of this. Not just as a Captain to his team, but as a way to make up for being such a shitty housemate. And maybe even as a way to start an actual friendship with him. Now that he’s seen this side of her, he realized how judgment and close-minded he was. He needed to find her and talk with her.

~~~~

Y/N had just stripped out of her suit and into her PJs when there was a hesitant knock on the door. She frowned. She wasn’t expecting anyone tonight, especially not after she just got her ass handed to her. Reluctantly she went to open the door and was surprised at the person on the other side.

Steve stood there awkwardly, his hands in his pockets. She blinked and took a step back.

“Uh… hi?” she greeted cautiously.  Steve smiled hesitantly and shifted from foot to foot.

“Hey. Can we talk?”

“W-Why?” She clutched on the handle and shifted behind the door in an attempt to hide behind it. Steve noticed and his smile fell. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

“I know I’m the last person you want to talk to. I’ve not been the most welcoming and I want to apologize. Can I please come in?” He asked earnestly. Y/N was caught off guard at his sincerity. Nodding numbly, she pulled the door open and let him in her room.

Steve glanced around the room, noticing the number of pictures she had hanging up on her wall, pretty fairy lights cascading down the walls illuminating each photo. Her comforter was a light lilac with stuffed animals on the bed. He eyed the little knickknacks matched the rest of her décor on her desks and shelves adding to the warmth and homey feel her room had. Realization hit him that he really hadn’t taken the time to get the real her.

“Go ahead and have a seat.” Y/N waved to the bed before sitting on the other end. Steve sank into the plush mattress, taking a moment to look over Y/N. She refused to make eye contact, to busy wringing her fingers together to notice him staring. Once again, he was struck by how beautiful she was, and how poorly he handled everything.

“Look Y/N, I don’t know what happened the past few days and why you’re acting different, but somethings changed. We all can see it.” He said. Y/N opened her mouth to argue but thought better of it. Steve continued on. “I don’t know what happened, but it hurts all of us to see you like this. It’s like you’ve lost a huge part of yourself and we’re seeing this empty shell. I mean, Sam and Clint both are losing their minds because what ordinarily would work on getting you riled up is doing nothing. And Bucky’s beside himself, Natasha and Wanda are worried sick, and Tony is pissed because-.” Steve stopped short, his face twisting into a pained expression. “He thinks I’m the reason.”

Y/N tensed, her breath catching in her throat. It was minuscule, but Steve caught it. He sat taller and his stomach sank.

“It is because of me.” He whispered sadly. He tore his eyes away from her to stare blankly at his hands. Y/N closed her eyes but didn’t deny it. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve not been accepting. I didn’t mean to hurt you though.”

Y/N nodded slowly, biting her lower lip as he kept talking.

“Truth is, you intimidate the hell out of me. I’ve never met someone who was so sure of themselves and so incredibly proud about it. You held nothing back and you’re so willing to put your heart on your sleeve, I kind of envy you a little. People loved you right of the bat and your just so sweet inside and out. I mean, you didn’t let anyone tell you to chill out before. Which leaves me to ask, why now? Why did I affect you so much that you changed everything about you?”

That caused Y/N’s face to heat up. No way was she going to admit it aloud! It was already embarrassing enough Steve knew he was a reason why she changed, but for him to know what the full reason was mortified her.

“Y/N.” He gently took her hand in his, the corners of his lips turned up. “You don’t have to tell me. I just want you to know that no matter what you think, I don’t hate you. I never did. Matter of fact, I really like you. More than I thought. It didn’t hit me how much I’d come to admire and appreciate your take on life until now. I miss hearing you bicker with Tony about the best brew coffee first thing in the morning or when you and Bucky gang up on Sam. I know Natasha and Wanda miss having their best friend. And game nights will never be the same without you threatening and then following through with flipping a table.”

Y/N giggled and ducked her chin. His grin grew, finally seeing a glimmer of her former self.

“I’m not asking you to forgive me for how I’ve behaved. I can only ask you’ll give me a chance to make up for being such a shitty person.” He grinned.

“Language, Captain.” Y/N teased.

“Is that ever going to die?” Steve groaned and rolled his eyes. “Wait you weren’t even there!”

“I know but hate to break it to you, it’s here for the long haul.” Y/N giggled and shook her head. Steve’s laughter joined hers, his smile stretching from ear to ear. He titled his head to the side after a beat before letting out a sigh.

“So, are you going to be okay?” He asked hopefully. Y/N let out a deep breath, for the first time all week feeling lighter. She was so drained from keeping her emotions in check, it took every ounce of her strength not to react to the attempts at making her snap. She knew it was ridiculous trying to change, but she really thought it was for the better. Turns out, it not only damaged her but everyone she loved.

“Yeah. I think I’ll be okay.” She spoke confidently. Steve patted her thigh and quickly stood.

“Good, because Tony discovered some new game called The Jackbox Party Pack or something along those lines.” He extended a hand and waited for her to take it.

“Wait, right now?” She asked surprised. He nodded and took her hand.

“Yup. Come on. Team bonding time.”

Y/N laughed, letting him pull her up and drag her out of the room. He looked at her over his shoulder, his breath catching in her throat at the way her face lit up from her grin. Turning back quickly, he hoped she didn’t notice the way his ears turned pink. He was an idiot for not taking the time to get to know her. He wasn’t going to ruin his chance with her a second time. Maybe it wasn’t going to easy, but for Y/N he knew it would be worth it.

Perma Tag: (CLOSED)

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Steve Tag: (Open)

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[one-shoop]

My mother actually admitted to a professional that she would "push us to face our fears" and "square up" or whatever when we were anxious. I don't know why this information doesn't make me happier. I have proof that she's the one who's been at the core of all my most complex mindsets -- like the "don't ask for help unless you really need it" and "am I hurt enough to be allowed to be sad" and "is this bad enough so I don't need to swallow it and search for solutions, or is this pain bad enough I can keep it". She literally admitted to doing all of that.

She's the reason I didn't ask for help in exams. She basically admitted to all the stuff she did as a mother -- her miraculously-unused scheme to push me off a bike so I wouldn't be scared of it anymore ("but pushing you nicely, so you don't actually get hurt, just to show you it's not scary" says mom like this excuses anything), all the times she talked about messing around with her students' rigidities and complex things (she called it "breaking them" like seriously) -- she'll "confront" autistic people or perfectionnists. She admitted to making sure the kid who hated losing loses at all games until he "learns to suck it up" and "accept things" or whatever, she admitted to messing up an autistic/rigid kid's meticulously arranged pieces of paper to "show them it didn't matter if they were messed up, it's the paper itself that counts", and doing that everytime they meet up, even going so far as pretending the kids actually like when she does that. How is this woman even a freaking orthopédagogue, I have no idea.

But she keeps "pushing them out of their comfort zones" and it's just not okay. And the way she talks to them, the way she behaves around them -- it pisses me off just thinking about it. And yesterday she confessed to her motives.

And -- this is a woman who said that the Roman Empire was justified, the murder of millions and all the crap was justified, that people were being stupid when they refused to have roman soldiers on their land -- this is a woman who said that "the tribes didn't want to be in peace, they wanted to keep fighting" and "Rome was keeping the peace". Someone who literally has no freaking reason to believe this crap -- seriously???? The Roman empire was garbage???? This is someone who said "well, if you see slavery as the limit, no civilisation ever was good" when I told her the goddamn empire worked on slaves' back, and refused to acknowledge how Caesar was a piece of garbage, how people watched prisoners of war get freaking KILLED in arenas like it was a fun thing to watch.

Like seriously???? She told me "homeless people should just work harder" and "it doesn't mean society is broken if they can't get jobs/housing" and "it's their fault -- and I know, I watched a documentary once" and "most homeless people are idiots, they don't want to get healed, they want to do drugs and they're childish, they don't want to get jobs, they don't want to work" and "we can't force people to do things they don't want to do, they don't want to get healed so leave them be" and "they basically want to stay homeless" and "they can't handle having a job" and "there are shelters in place, so if they don't go there, they're basically saying they want to stay homeless" like sure mom, this is a good mindset. Absolutely -- i so agree with the humanity of "they don't want to work, so let them starve" like this is forgetting that many homeless peeps are mentally ill? Or addicted? And they CAN'T GET TREATMENT much less any sort of respect from people???? And shelters are the worst??? If I base it on my experience at an Elder's retirement home, let me tell you social workers can be assholes and retirement homes can be a hostile environment to its patients. And also???? Some homeless peeps just leave because OH SNAP maybe they got THROWN OUT OF THEIR HOUSE and and since they're going they have fucking nowhere to go? Like -- ever hear of someone losing their spouse and having nobody ro turn to, so they spend a night outside, and then another, and when their boss hears they fire them so now they're jobless and penniless and BAM. And ever heard of the concept that maybe BEING ALCOHOLIC ISN'T CONTROLLABLE WITHOUT EXTERNAL HELP and do I really have to explain how buying alcohol/weed and being left to starve and freeze and get mugged all the time -- like seriously, there is NO REASON you should LET SOMEONE DIE.

Like ffs?????????? She said bombing an entire town full of civilians was a good move???? Since "they didn't want to surrender, they were too proud" and "they were too stubborn to give up so they had to be shown we wouldn't back down" like wow, minimalizing much??? We're talking about two whole goddamn towns being blown away -- imagine freaking Montreal just blown away like that. Those bombs were MASSIVE. Imagine the freaking KIDS. Seriously -- she can't bear to watch documentaries on the atomic bombs, it should be enough to make her realize that hey, maybe if something is too horrible to watch, you shouldn't DO IT TO PEOPLE? Nor excuse it????

Said that our country "didn't do too much slavery" and "WE were nice people, not like the English" and "we lived in peace" like seriously???? Remember all those times native people got sold as slaves??? Remember how métis came to be, with white people going in forests, stopping for a night at a tribe, and raping a woman there????? And then that woman would get expelled and her baby would be shunned for not belonging either with the white bastards or with the mother's birth tribe?? Remember how Montréal was built to be a freaking conversion thing for the native peoples thar lived near??? Remember how we had missionaries?

Remember that time she kept saying that in the Bible, the Jewish people were the bad guys -- the Romans were good? Defending the dude from the washing hands thing, saying he had no other choice to keep the people happy than to kill J-boy, and saying it was "the Jewish religious leaders's" fault for all of it? For "forcing people to hate him"? Saying the Jewish people were jerks like they didn't want to pay taxes to this guy who invaded their land, right??? Well apparently they're jerks for that???

Saying Sikh community people can never get into politics because "politicians are supposed to represent the majority of their people, and they're never part of the majority anywhere" and rolling her eyes when I say "what, so what you're saying is that if you're part of that community, you can't EVER get into politics? What if it was your dream??? Should you give up your religion to be allowed to compete?"

And apparently all of that is because of some "book" she read once about how to deal with anxiety in kids. How, apparently, this "book" was enough to spark all of this nonsense.

Like wtf mom

Wtf

Like for someone who keeps talking about "facing your fears" she sure is ignoring a whole lot of information back here. Like ever heard of someone dismissing the truth because it's too hard? Like if this was really your philosophy I'd think you'd be the first one to fall out bs propaganda and fight for a better place and a more compassionate view of others, and like -- her philosophy is supposed to be about confronting your fears to work on them like how tf can you do that without even admitting there's a problem???? She's making shif up for a shitton of historical shit that have literally no fucking data on all the goodness she pretends exists -- like seriously man just google literally any of those things and you'll have proof it happened -- even NOW we have literal places where every native person lives like some weird ghetto bht wirh government funding. Native lands aren't even legally recognized by our bs country, they don't have a fucking representative or their own, they don't even have their own province ffs they live in shitty places where poverty happens because SURPRISE when you strip someone of their land, their dignity, their culture, and their religion, and all their space to just freaking exist -- MAYBE it fucks them up. And just MAYBE being stripped of your integrity as a person and a clan is MAYBE stripped away and MAYBE you have nothing to really do with your identity. So MAYBE you should consider that when you pretend the shit our people did wasn't completely horrific. MAYBE you'd understand how desperatly something needs to be done.

And ALL OF THIS just doesn't cut it for a goddamn book about education or whatever it was. I dont know what this is but this just feels like fucking victim blaming. This can't be about "facing your fears", this is about dictating them, this is about making things up, about controlling the reality. This is about making the reality to be more pleasant for you to live in, this is about you controlling people to see things as you do. This is about you thinking people will never like you if you outright say you agree with the goddamn empire so you pretend there's some silver lining on it.

[lilyvandersteen]

Hey, do you have any werewolf!Klaine fics to recommend. And/or possessive/jealous Kurt or Blaine fics? Please and thank you! :)

Hey @darriness! Thanks for asking. Please find the two lists below. They got kind of long, but somehow I don’t think you’ll mind :-) Happy reading! Hugs, Marjan

Werewolf Fic

I haven't read much werewolf fic, I'm afraid. It’s not really my thing. Apart from @caramelcoffeeaddict’s excellent Reflections verse, which no doubt you’ve read already, these are the werewolf Klaine fics I know of (most of which I haven’t read):

Being Wolves verse by Verseau_87

Back from New York and visiting his parent's during summer vacation, Kurt (literally) bumps into Blaine. Another werewolf like him. Their love is quick and easy, but it seems life is never that simple. Trying to enjoy their time together and merge their respective packs, they both must navigate being in love, over coming every obstacle along the way.

Blueberry Moon by @framby

After a terrible fight between rival packs Kurt, the Hunter in chief of his town, is left to deal with a lonely Alpha who just lost everything. Kurt did not know what to expect but it definitely wasn't a bunch of wolves making themselves at home at his place.

Claim by @rightonthelimits-blog (sequel: Oath)

One night, when a lonely witch named Kurt woke up from a werewolf’s pained cries, he never expected that said werewolf would become his mate.

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by @sorrowsofyore

Kurt's life has always been held together by Pack and family.  Now, faced with with adversity, he's struggling to find a place in a world he doesn't believe in.

Don't Tell Anyone by heavenorspace

Kurt is an advanced student attending Dalton’s elite campus extension run entirely by hybrids. Blaine is a wolf hybrid professor in his prime who Kurt seduces and then reports all the juicy details in an email to his friend.

For Which I Have to Howl by @emilianadarling

Werewolf AU. Tension is rising in the pack, and having the very-human Kurt Hummel come to visit his brother and boyfriend is putting a strain on everyone. Having Blaine and Kurt mate should help the problem, but the process proves to be more complicated – both physically and emotionally – than either of them could have imagined.

Full Moon by the_girl_without_a_face

"I’m a werewolf.” "Oh I know.” "... What?!"

Give Me A Part of You by @slightestwind

Blaine has always had an innocent fascination with Kurt’s nipples, even before they started courting. But when they meet again as teenagers, his obsession plays into Kurt's omega instincts until mating and starting a family together is something they both desperately want.

Going to the Chapel, and we're... verse by @fictionallylost/Lostinfictionalworlds

AU. Blaine is a Werewolf. Kurt is a Vampire. This is a series of oneshots up until they come together in holy matrimony.

Heart of One by coribird  (heed the warnings) 

In which the boys are werewolves but Kurt has no idea what Blaine claiming him as a mate really entails. Reposted from this prompt at the GKM. 

Hounds of God by darkkixie

Kurt is a werewolf hunter and protector of the small town of Lima. This has been his existant since he was a small boy until a new pack comes into the picture and everything around Kurt comes undone under the watchful eyes of an Alpha. KurtxBlaine, Werewolf Blaine COMPLETE 

Howlin' verse by @klainebowsanddramioneflies

A collection of 'drabbles' (they're really more like oneshots, but *shrug*) with werewolf!badboy!Blaine and human!Kurt (eventually werewolf!Kurt). Very kinky smut. There's also plot. But there's a lot of kink. So...

I'd Walk to You (If I Could Trust My Feet) by @luthien82

Kurt Hummel is a born werewolf. A born Alpha. He's telling you what to do and you will like it. And he is NOT OKAY with the fact that for some reason, he wants to submit to Blaine Anderson, Alpha wolf of Westerville. 

Just Like Magic by @slightestwind

Fairy!bp!Kurt meets werewolf!Blaine, who is in search of a mate.

Lycan verse by @triddlegrl

Kurt thinks he's getting a dog, but what he actually gets is Blaine, an alpha werewolf in exile for crimes against The Guild. Blaine thinks he's getting a new jailer, but what he actually gets is Kurt, the only man who has ever made him feel not quite so alone.

Night by @purseplayer 

Kurt had only given his boyfriend a hickey - he had no idea it would have consequences like this! 

Running on All Fours by sereko

One impulsive night, Kurt agrees to let Elliot bite him and become his Alpha. Something Blaine is very interested to find out on his next visit to NYC. 

Serendipity verse by @whatstheproblembaby

Vampire Kurt decides to go spy on the New Directions' werewolf competition for Sectionals. He doesn't plan on going in the building, but some instincts demand to be followed. 

Species by DreamingKate

Interspecies relationships didn’t exist. That’s why they had to keep this quiet.

The Four Strongest verse by @faerietalegal

Four boys, each has three names on their wrist.. they are soul bound to each other.

They have hills to climb, family to help find their soul mates, and someone has some healing to do.

The Life of a Werewolf verse by karanoaoi

Wolves mate for life once an Alpha claims their Omega mate, but the ways of choosing your mate are changing from the traditional meets where all non-mated wolves of age are thrown in together and you end up with a mate. Alphas still have to start a mating run, but what if the Omega has their eye on a certain Alpha? Follow the Anderson and Hummel families through these changes. A generational fic starting with Grandma Anderson and going through Kurt and Blaines generation. 

The Wax verse by @skivvysupreme

Kurt Hummel is a vampire. Blaine Anderson is a werewolf. This is how they help each other deal with it.

Twilight Klaine verse by @quizasvivamos  (also this ficlet)

Vampire!Kurt & Werewolf!Blaine: Kurt has been on the run for almost a century, eventually finding himself in Lima, Ohio. While hunting in unfamiliar woods one night, Kurt comes face to face with a beautiful young boy who saves him from an even worse fate. Kurt is drawn to the boy and must battle temptation to keep from making an unforgivable mistake. But what will happen when Kurt finds out the boy has secrets of his own?

Werewolf? I Don't Know, You Saw Him Last by MerikaG

Blaine's life has never been a picnic, but as the age of Choosing looms ever closer, he decides anything is better than the future his Father has chosen for him.  Running away is his only choice, but if he can't find a place among his neighbors, the Heartsong Pack, it may be his last.  Of course, if they eat him that will solve his problems, too.

Werewolf!Blaine verse by Pterodactyl

klaine advent drabble challenge day 8: human

warnings: d/s-y klaine with sub!blaine, werewolves, blaine’s parents being borderline physically/emotionally abusive assholes.

in this ‘verse, werewolves are known to the public but mostly shunned because of some incidents with attacks and stuff. not much of their biology/dynamics are known to non-werewolves.

Werewolf Blaine verse by @skintightsocksfic

Blaine's eyes are dark, much darker than Kurt ever remembers them being, and Kurt's going to have to start marking Blaine's freaky werewolf mating season on his calendar if it gets Blaine to act like this, all uninhibited and desperate to be close to Kurt, to taste him, to have sex with him.

Also pretty much every fic by https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2914721/porcelain_bird

~~~~~~

Possessive/Jealous Klaine

Possessive/jealous Klaine, on the other hand, is totally my jam. Please find below some of my favourites:

5 Times Blaine Misunderstands by jujuberry136

Wherein the Dalton boys mess with Blaine’s head and Blaine is really kind of an idiot.

Better Late Than Never by flyblckbirdfly

Five years in the future, AU where the boys have always been friends, but never romantic. On a night out, one gets hit on, causing the other to realize their true feelings after all this time.

Careful, The Beverage You Are About To Enjoy is Extremely Hot by @munchkinpandas24

“He read somewhere that it was one of Starbucks’ brilliant marketing strategies to maintain at least one completely dreamy (gorgeous, ravishing, steamy, prettiest of the pretty) guy behind the counter at any given shift. Nicely done, Starbucks. It seemed Kurt found his absolute favorite.”

Charm by @dont-stop-believin-in-klaine

Sometimes Blaine was just too damn charming for his own good.

Clubbing Nights by @loveheartlover

Kurt and Blaine don't go clubbing often, but when they do? It's spectacular.

Come Here Boy by sugakane_01

What Blaine Anderson wants, Blaine Anderson gets and he's determined that Kurt Hummel will be no exception. When Kurt becomes more than a conquest, Blaine shows just how far the boy who has everything is willing to go for love.

Daisies in Green Pastures by @hazelandglasz

Imagine Person B of your OTP getting a pet for Person A, but soon became jealous of the pet for getting so much of Person A’s attention.

Dark Bars and Desperate Measures by @quizasvivamos

After the conclusion of their sophomore year of high school, best friends Kurt and Blaine make a pact to get out of Lima and escape to New York City together, a place where dreams are said to come true. Nearly six years later, feeling stuck during his final year at NYADA and desperate to prove his worth, Kurt forms a rock band, enlisting the help of Blaine. While hurtling along on the fast track to fame and fortune, a clashing of egos, jealousy, and latent feelings threaten to derail all they’ve been working toward.

Dirt on Your Name by @sabbypandawan

Blaine Anderson is NYU’s most notorious lothario. Everybody knows his name, and people either warn each other off him or vie for his attention. So when Blaine meets Kurt Hummel at a party their dorm is hosting for the newly moved-in freshmen, he expects either rejection or, more likely, approval – and gets so much more than he ever would have guessed, and had definitely never hoped for. 

Discovering Jealousy by @janrea

Blaine Anderson's Five Steps to Embracing His Jealous Side    Bonus for being exactly who he is. 

Drowning in Jealousy by @hazelandglasz

One time Kurt got jealous of BlaineOne time Blaine got jealous of Kurt

Far Beneath the Bitter Snow by @hazelandglasz

What happens when instead of falling for the Bachelor, Kurt and Blaine fall for each other?

Finders, Keepers by Lexie (and the prequel: Possession Is Nine Tenths Of The Law)

Kurt and Blaine technically tagged along on Blaine's dad's New York business trip so that they could tour college campuses, but the trip also has its fringe benefits. Like: an entire day spent roaming the city with Blaine. Even if Blaine isn't responding very gracefully to the unexpected attention that Kurt finds himself receiving.

First by @fleshandfantasies

"Every guy that touched you, every man you went out with, I hated him. I hated that he had your time, your attention. I hated that he had the opportunity.”

“Opportunity? What, to date me?”

“To be your first.”

From Afar by @hazelandglasz

anonymous asked:Klaine, i see you with the same person all the time and i assume you two are in a relationship so i’ll just pine for you from a distance au. :(

Hitting On My Man by @animeangelriku

For Arania, Erin, and Cass, who wanted some jealous!Blaine after we got that quote about Chris wondering why no one wanted Kurt… I think.

Invidia in E-Minor by @vosje

Kurt was trying to find home in loveless New York when handsome stranger Cooper Anderson comes along and feels him up, showing him the life he could lead with a loving boyfriend. Back in Ohio lies Cooper's little brother Blaine restless on his bed, trying to find the music for his college-applications - and music is what he hears when he meets his brother's boyfriend. 

It’s Part Of My Chemistry by CatieDontCry

Jealous Blaine.

Jealousy by @kookaburrito

Jealous Blaine.

Jealousy by Blind

It all started when his older brother Cooper came strutting down the hall of William McKinley High School like he was the shit. Blaine hadn't failed to notice the way his boyfriend's eyes widened, the way he watched the taller Anderson make his way towards them, the way his eyes travelled up and down his body almost hungrily.

Blaine didn't like Kurt looking at another guy like that. He didn't like it one bit.

Jealousy Will Drive You Mad by klaineficrex

kurts on broadway and blaines doing whatever but not bway and kurt has to kiss someone on stage a couple times every show or something and blaines like ok but when you get home youre all mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bc hes jelly 

Just Jealous by @pumpkinkurt

two times where blaine was the jealous one, and one time kurt was. 

Koala by DreamingKate

The guy flirting with him was awkward. Blaine sitting in his lap was even more awkward.

Moony by @lady-divine-writes

Blaine doesn’t like Kurt’s new assistant…more to the point, he doesn’t like the crush the boy has on his husband. 

Not Exclusive by @nellie12

Finn happens to be doing well for himself in the University of Florida. He is starting QB for the Gators, and he's a member of Phi Beta Kappa, and his grades aren't terrible. He also has his favorite step-brother coming to visit from New York, and Kurt has no idea he's about to have the Spring Break of a lifetime until he meets Finn's best friend and frat mate- Blaine Anderson. 

Not Just My Wingman by @lady-divine-writes

Kurt and Blaine are roommates, living in the loft together after Blaine graduates from high school and moves to New York. Kurt is determined that he's over Blaine, and tries to prove it by helping him get a date…or ultimately, get laid. But when Blaine succeeds in finding a guy that's actually interested in him, will Kurt realize that he wasn't as over Blaine as he thought?

One Million Invisible Lines by @the-cimmerians

Things work out. Eventually. 

Operation: Make Blaine Jealous by Sailor Grape

For two very bright boys, both Kurt and Blaine were obliviously stupid. And it was driving everyone insane. Wes and David finally take matters into their own hands.  AU from The Sue Sylvester Shuffle. Klaine cotton candy fluff! 

Outdoor Concert by @somethingfishyfan

Kurt and Blaine were colleagues, best of friends at work.. but that was as far as it went. That was until Sebastian Smythe came along.. and a very jealous Kurt had to rethink his ideas. Teachers au. 

Pushing Boundaries by klaines_deepest_desires

Set after season 6. Blaine tried to ignore it.  It wasn’t that Blaine blamed the men for noticing Kurt.  Of course they did. But he wouldn’t sit idly by any longer.  He stood up and stormed towards Kurt, eyes narrowing on the men with him. He was going to show the men what they were missing out on. 

Signs of Ownership by @lady-divine-writes

When Blaine volunteers for a local kids' theater group, another volunteer has his eye on him. When Kurt catches wind of a few choices comments the man has made (one, in particular, about how Kurt doesn't own Blaine), Kurt puts a plan into action to prove just how wrong he is.

Teeth by @stut--ter

"Blaine is being a gentleman. Kurt is all like: that’s nice but can please just fuck. Blaine still thinks he knows what's best for Kurt. Kurt decides to take matters into his own hands and performs Lady Gay Gay's "Teeth" with backup dancing (and groping) from the other Warblers. Blaine sees Kurt’s little hips swinging and he also sees one of his Warbler’s hands wrapping around them. Cue horny, jealous, decidedly non-gentleman Blaine dragging Kurt into an empty room by his cute little Dalton tie and fucking him rough and hard over a desk. After THAT's out of his system, Blaine stays inside Kurt until he's hard again and then reams Kurt nice and slow and sweet."

The Green-Eyed Monster by Petalene

What do you do when your husband lands a dream role playing the romantic lead in a sexy movie?

A. Be supportive because you love him.B. Get jealous. You don't want anyone touching him but you.C. Have lots of possessive sex to remind him who he belongs to.

If you're Blaine Anderson and the stars of the movie are your husband Kurt and your brother Cooper, then the answer is:

D. All of the above.

The story contains sexy Kurt, jealous Blaine, inappropriate Cooper, and snarky Sebastian. Humor, romance, and smut rated M for descriptive sex. Fill for the GKM.

the one wherein Blaine and Mike like cardigans by @villiageidiot

Mike sits with his bestie at the Lima Bean while Blaine is all 'woe is me'.

The Pussy Collector by @lady-divine-writes

Blaine has been crushing on assistant fashion editor Kurt Hummel since the first day he started interning at Vogue. They spent almost every lunch hour together, and he thought Kurt might feel the same way. But after he gets hired on and transferred to Kurt's department, Blaine overhears some conversation that gives him a reason to think differently.

To think that, despite all of their many heart-to-hearts, he may not know the first thing about Kurt Hummel.

Turning Saints by saffronire

Kurt wants to take their relationship to the next level, but Blaine, fearing he won’t be able to control himself, is adamant they wait. Kurt decides that making Blaine jealous is the only way to get what he wants, cue possessive! Angry! Blaine. Spoilers for 2x16?

To Know Him Is To Love Him by @poorlittleklainer

Blaine's a good fiancé. He supports Kurt as he prepares for his first headline runway show. Just, he wants to rip Joseph limb from limb for looking at Kurt. Okay, he's jealous, but Kurt doesn't need to know that.

What’s Mine (Isn’t Yours) by EmilianaDarling

On Blaine’s first day at McKinley, it takes him less than five minutes to realize that Dave Karofsky wants his boyfriend. And over the course of the next while, he can’t seem to stop himself from getting more and more bothered by it.

[vonseal]

what im weak for this week

you guys really put out so many quality fanfics the past week, im jealous but more than that, im so happy that we have so many awesome astro fanfic authors. im going to shower everyone with dollar bills.

btw it’s long, you guys really showered the world with so many this week, i loved them.

three times the moon shined for minhyuk, and one time it didn't by koutarous

spoiler alert: IT DOESNT END IN SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS. but i dont even care, i seriously loved this fic through and through. it was sad at the end, but reading it through was so satisfying, so even if this moonrock fic doesn’t leave you smiling and cheering, at least it will leave you in a puddle of goo, wanting more from the author. bless.

cant keep my eyes off you by arohawe

MYUNGJIN! im always game for some myungjin, if you guys havent guessed at this point. and this myungjin just left me feeling like a toasted marshmallow. actually, probably a gooey marshmallow. a marshmallow you toast so much that the outer portion comes off and all you’re left with is the gooey, innard marshmallow mess. that’s how i felt reading this fic, not even lying. i want everyone to read it and we will all become gooey, marshmallow messes together.

for aroha by shinigamibutter

MYUNGJIN! i ignored the hurt/comfort tag warning and dived into this fic expecting nothing but pure, cutsie fluff, and i ALMOST got that, but the small douse of hurt/comfort it did have was really nice to read, anyway. idk, im such an emotional girly girl, so people being sensitive to comments and what have you really gets to me, and i like it when authors explore these insecurities, and Butterfly does a FANTASTIC job at it. also, eunwoo at the end is hashtag me.

mistletoes and christmas by rach4040

guess what i am always in the mood for? christmas. guess what im also always in the mood for? cute binu. GUESS WHAT ELSE? harry potter aus. ONE MORE THING? rach4040. that’s stuff im always in the mood for, and so this was a quadruple whammy right at my face, like someone just gifted me a pecan pie, and i ate this fic up. it was perfect and amazing and i REALLY can’t wait until rach4040 writes some more, seriously, this piece of work was flawless! <3

alone by gachigallae

be still, my binu-loving heart. but my heart can’t be still after this fic. it can never be still again. the thought of moonbin waiting for eunwoo to return from his busy schedule, texting him to display his loneliness, accidentally - i dont even want to say it all, so pls do give this one at least ten read throughs, like i did.

problems with pastry by sanhasbinu

this fic manages to leave me hungry for pastries while also filling me up with myungjin. and, tbh, i’ll die of starvation if it means i’m full of myungjin (maybe not that far, you guys get me, tho, right?). MYUNGJUN BURNING COOKIES THO! AND JINWOO BEING ADORABLY HELPFUL! and love and romance and great golly gee, i seriously cannot wait for this fic to reach the true romantic plot, wowie gee, i’m going to pay my dollar bills for this, i promise.

deaf by shinigamibutter

the butterfly struck again with more myungjin, holla for a dolla. ALSO SHE GIFTED THIS TO ME, I AM NOT DESERVING OF THIS. it was seriously so adorable and cute and a little heartbreaking but, like, in a good sort of way, just imagining jinjin communicating with myungjun, i just - and the last line, if you read it just know that im going to marry that last line, gosh darn it.

the death of a potato by slaymyseoul

THIS IS SO CLEVER! this is so cleverly written and hilarious and i couldn’t stop laughing at the conclusion. i mean it, it was perfect, and i can actually see it happening, no lie, and also i just want everyone who reads it to know that i am Team Sanha and i will fight you for that crime, im serious. otp = sanha x potatoes.

give me a 'e-u-n-w-o-o' by adri_ya

SANHA AS A CUTE CHEERLEADER! (would you guys know it, i went to one of the cheerleading tryouts in middle school, but i was hella ugly and not cute at all back then, but also i backed out bc i hated the idea of attending sport games). also SANHA HAVING A MAD CRUSH ON EUNWOO! tbh, all of the boys get along so well, so while i definitely have otp preferences, they all work. and sanha and eunwoo work super duper well, and i just loved this fic. eunwoo was flirty and sanha was dorky and it was perfect <3

we've never met but, can we have a coffee or something? by hyngwhn

i never commented on this on a03, i am SO sorry, im going to totes leave a comment im just behind, but I DID LOVE IT SO MUCH! the way it was written was so poetic, and the way it ended made me all warm and gushy on the inside. im going to pay you money to write description for me, okay, because wowzers mouser, this was beautiful.

because of hani by gachigallae

do you guys know that im the biggest sucker ever for fics with kids and loving fathers??? do you guys know that? do you know it, gachchigallae? you must have because whoa my goosh, you wrote this and i just collapsed on the ground and died of pure joy. im dead, pls go dig me up so i can read the following chapters. ALSO EVENTUAL BINU! holy cow eventual binu, and the setup is just perfect, and here, take my life.

inked by jinwoosmile

tattoo aus and binu and SASSY DONGMIN! this fic has it all. this fic is going to be tattooed on my back (ahahaha, nudges @jinwoosmile, find me a bin tattoo artist pls, i’d like that). so far two chapters are out and i’m anticipating at least 97 more chapters, because i want to be 34 years old and still waiting for updates pls. thank you, i know this will happen.

worth the wait by @heybinnie

minhyuk, you’d better make money bc my boy binnie needs his steak. NO MAN FAM, this fic was such a nice, wholesome fic. i love heybinnie’s fics, they completely brighten my day in ways only heybinnie can do, honestly. i hope they make a new bet of filling out stadiums with 7000 seats, they need to do that, my sweet boys. <3

UPDATED FICS FROM LAST WEEK -

hide and seek by Mintwho (NaCltyRy) - tbh i think i keep switching out between jinwoo and myungjun, i dont know who to choose, im like a girl in a kdrama, send help.

new phone who dis? by moonbinsonesie - petition to shun lee dongmin for not knowing what the sims is 

the year we met by fivepixelphan - once again how dare

stray romance by alette - this will never not be perfect. oh my gosh, im in love with alette and this story.

and if you ever have anything you think i need to check out, hit me up with that fic, fams. i dont even care if it’s your own. i check a03 regularly, so if it’s something posted elsewhere, pls let me know!