#what i mean to say is kill me killme oh my god i want to sleep

[weaselishmcdiesel]

ok girlies ya boy has to write 800-1500 words about some shit i cant really remember before morning give me your strength in the form of biting and maiming

[imveryunstable]

Sick (KiriBaku x Reader) [BNHA smut]

Warning: Smut and disgusting! Still, tell me if you do get turned on by it :P Also, kidnapping and non consensual sex are never okay! (also help me with tags idk how-)

Reminder: Please remember that our lovely boys, Kacchan and Kiri will never do such thing, obviously! They are heroes and what I wrote is just a pure filth of what I sometimes imagine these boys should do to me! rofl i love them a lot, sorry to ruin yall like this lol killme

Pairings: Kirishima Eijirou x Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

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You meant to be kind. You promise, you were just trying to be nice! But how did the act of your kindness turns against you? Isn't it supposed to be what people always say? be kind to others so others will be kind to you?

How the hell that quote can become the opposite? You're tied up, blindfolded, gagged and of fucking course, naked. It's good to feel nothing on your skin once in a while, but not when it's forced. and obviously, not when you know you're naked in front of a hero!

"A-are you okay?! I'm sorry that I had to be so weak and troubled you..." You say softly, as you gently hold out your head to the Sturdy Hero, Red Riot, or as far as you know, Kirishima Eijirou. It's like he got stunned for a second, before smiling widely at you. He takes your hand and you try to pull him up along with him pushing himself up but something's strange, he's holding your hand way too tight. Is he in so much pain? You feel so bad and let him hold you longer.

"Thanks for your concern, but it's my job to get into trouble for the sake of your safety! Are you okay? It must've been scary for you." Eijirou replies to your words as soft as he can, looking straight into your eyes. Somehow, you feel touched, to be cared for like this...  

"A little... but thanks to you, I never felt so safe!"

Oh, how selfish you were when you said those words. You've never felt unsafe like this before. You're choking on your tears, as you know you're in bed, legs spread open just for the hero. This is the best way a citizen can repay the heroes, yeah?

He's quiet for some reasons, you can only hear his breathing, which is really wild. It's weird how he's not touching you and it's sickening for the fact you have been in the same position for an hour.

You want to say something but the gag is stopping you, only muffled screams can be heard. What does he want honestly? If he wants to fuck you, might as just do it as fast as he can! This is too disgusting for you to hold on any longer.

Suddenly, you hear a door being slammed open and harsh steps louder by each second. Another person came in? Is it a hero too? Is he going to save you?

"Bakugou! What took you so long? I tried to hold myself from pounding her and I swear if I waited a minute longer-"

"Are you kidding me shitty hair?! You think I have so much time to spend just to deal with you?!"

Bakugou? Isn't he one of the pro heroes too? The one who explodes-

"Oh God please Bakugou! Just take a look at her! She's so nice and so pretty... You want to wreck her too, I bet!"

Sick. He's sick. Everything about him is sick! Wreck you? IN what way? You swear, whatever he does, he'll never wreck you. You'll never get wrecked by such a person!

"You promised me you'll let me choose our toy this time. You fucking did." You listen to Bakugou's deep low voice, which makes you quiver even more after you understand what he just said.

Toy? What does he mean by toy? You? Are they talking about you? You're going to be their toy? Choose our toy? They've done this before, to other people?

Sick, sick, sick! This is too sickening for you, plus the fear you've been feeling ever since you woke up like this makes you want to throw up.

"Bakugou, trust me on this one. Give me one last chance bro! Be manly and try this one out first!" Eijirou tries to convince his partner in crime again and oh how you've been praying for Bakugou to say no. Please, please, please-

"Fine, fine, fine! You're so fucking annoying sometimes..." You tear up even more when you heard those words, knowing there's no way you can get out of this.

"Thanks bro... If she becomes too boring for you, I promise this time, you'll choose." Eijirou says in such a comforting voice and as soothing as it is to others, you feel like his voice going to kill you.

"Whatever. Anyway, how long she's been like this? Bet her pussy is getting dry by now with the way you spread her." You suddenly feel a touch on your feminine place making you shiver as you try to shake your head, pulling away from his touch. But the ropes on your legs are way too tight, there's no way you can pull your legs out of it without ripping off your legs.

"I don't know, an hour? I was too mesmerized by her beauty, lose track of time." The fucking red-haired man replies making your stomach feels twisted. The amount of tears you are producing right now can honestly fill up a bucket to the point you feel like you're about to let out blood come out from your eyes.

You then feel the rough fingers on your clit, as they gently rub it. As much as you hate this, there's no way you can deny the hormones rising up and how good it feels to be touched this way. "Damn, she gets wet so quick though. Oi Kirishima, pull out the gag. I want to hear her fucking screams." Is that what he likes? Isn't he supposed to save people who are screaming, stopping them from screaming? He's a hero, for fuck sake!

You can hear steps getting closer to you, and it's none other than Eijirou, right? Your instinct tells you to run away, but it's impossible to follow it.

His breaths then tickle your ear and he gives a soft kiss on your ear.

"Poor angel, she looks so worn out and scared. It's so unmanly for me to gag you like this... but it's all because I don't want your throat to get hurt. I only want you to be safe, someone as nice and pure as you... someone who cares for a hero like you... someone who feels they are weak must always be protected, right?"

You finally find the proof of your answer. The reason he kidnapped you is definitely only because you're being nice. Is he too fucking sick to the point no one ever cared about him before?

Also, isn't it normal for people that get saved to thank their heroes? Why is he taking this too far?

Eijirou gently pulls the gag out of your mouth and you try to take a deep breath using your mouth. He then pulls away the blindfold, giving your eyes the sight of the place along with his blushed face. It's disgusting and you're ready to scream at him, but apparently, he sees through you since he decides to give you the most loving sickening kiss. The gag is better, way better.

Bakugou huffs, before continuing rubbing your clit and you feel a finger going inside you. "Fuck, she's so tight. Is she a virgin?" You don't know if that question is directed to Eijirou, or just him asking himself, but yes, you're a damn virgin!

"R-really? Lucky us, then?" Eijirou replies right after he pulls away from the kiss and you spit at him immediately even though it doesn’t even reach his face.  

"She's feisty, Bakugou. Totally your type, no?" Eijirou pays attention back to you and you see him smirking, as he gently unzips his pants, revealing a painful looking cock. "You can spit all you want on here, angel." He says with a smile, that damn hero smile he always shows on tv which never fails to make people feel safe...

"Y-you sick! Let me go-" Before you even finish your words, he pushes every inch into your mouth, his cock hitting your throat. It hurts so bad, but somehow the fingers going in and out of you down there covering up the pain.

"Fuck this, I'm fucking you now." Bakugou says, and you try to look at him but Eijirou harsh grasps on your hair, pulling your face to the left to suck his whole banana failing your attempt. "Look at me when I'm fucking your throat, angel. I need to see your mouth filled up with me." You want to bite down his cock, but he's moving way too fast for you to even do anything.

As you're focused on Eijirou's rough deep throating, you suddenly feel a sharp pain inside you, signaling Bakugou has officially entered you. You can feel his cock a bit bigger than the one in your mouth, but none of that is pleasuring you! Or so you keep trying to think...

"Shit dude, she's so fucking tight... C'mon toy, be a good girl and open up a bit!" Bakugou saying all that but he's still moving fast, doesn't he get the sign that you're a virgin? It hurts so much and your body feels like giving out soon. To take two big weewee at the same time is ruining your body along with your insanity.

This is wrong, what they're doing is wrong and you're wrong.

Definitely, you're going to get wrecked, not only by one man but two.

[meshkol]

Twitter Threads (or That One Time Tony Dialled It Up to Eleven)

Summary: Social media is hard and full of trolls, and Tony has poor impulse control.

Notes: I hate this so much. Less cracky than I wanted it, because I suck at writing humour. Fill K-3 for the Tony Stark Bingo 2019: Gossip Press. Unbeta'd as per usual. Any relation to existing twitter handles is entirely coincidental.

Warnings: Social Media, Twitter, Homophobic Language, Sexist Language, Ableist Language, Internet, Trolls, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Goes On A Rampage

No one can say that Tony’s ever had good impulse control, especially about people he loves.

@1234ideclareathumbwar posted: I donno what it is about dr strange but he must suck dick like a pro if hes got iron man whipped god knows theres nothing attractive about him except those dick suckin lips #drstrange #ironman #wtfisstarkthinking

 @100percentDONE-xxx replied: yeah its not like he can give a decent handjob ffs must me the lips or maybe hes just tight every1 knows stark loves a tight whole hes prolly cheating neway poor cripple

 @itsawrapandimreadytoparty replied: Probably just lays there and thinks about the wizard gods just to get that $$$...I’d think of England even for a nymphomaniac drug-addicted sugar daddy too, tbh.

 @BlessYouThor-ness replied: still can’t believe he chose strange over THOR like everyone can see the chemistry between them and tony is such a bottom he’d take thor’s cock so well fuck yes

 @they-did-the-thing777 replied: is it just me or does strange look like an alien maybe there’s no magic at all just aliens and he’s got a tentacle dick and stark just wants to mark off another box on his worlds-biggest-slut checklist #tonystarkispathetic

 @snowflakes_makeme_lol replied: hes just fkn ugly i s2g stark id spread 4 but strange??? that bitch be ugly asf n not worth gettin my dk wet prolly get aids

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: You guys are the pinnacle of our evolution and I am in awe of your genuine kindness and polite generosity (and grammar). Wow, I can’t believe Stephen Strange saved all of your jerkass lives TWICE for this shit and you know what? Everyone knows I’M the cocksucker in this relationship, dumbfucks.

 @kiki_blow_this_popsicle_stand replied: HOLY SHIT LMAO

“What are you doing?”

He doesn’t bother looking up from his tablet, backing away from that thread because he has no interest in seeing the replies, and hunting for the next war he can wage. “Destressing,” he replies gleefully, clicking on a thread that mentions Pepper. He can feel Rhodey behind him – and, what’s more, he can feel the disapproval seeping out of his pores too now that he’s peeking over Tony’s shoulder – but he’s on a roll, and fuck impulse control when he can sass and bitch on twitter. Some people just need to be removed from the genetic pool of the human race and not be allowed to procreate, honestly.

Somewhere in bumbfuck-nowhere, Fury is having a coronary and Stephen is rolling his eyes so hard they’re permanently lodged in his cranium.

@rudethatyoureallamatwink posted: Does anyone else think that Pepper Potts only got the job at Stark because she’s got awesome legs and a great twat and Tony Stark wanted to stick his dick in? #idfuckher #pepperpotts #starkindustries #idfuckhimtootbh #tonystark

 @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself replied: lol ur gross shes like 35 or smth but wvr u want crusty ol lose pussy u do u bro #oldchickgross #getbotox

 @shredderinmymetal3-14 replied: @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself lmao wtf?? He started fucking her when she was like twenty or something so she was still nice and tight back then. I mean I’d still fuck her right now cause she’s one hot cougar and I bet she’s learned a thing or two from the Slut Extraordinaire. And anyway, how tf do you know what her cunt’s like?? The only hole you’ve fucked is your mom.

 @queeen-bee-says-hi replied: Wow, you guys are pigs. Pepper Potts is a strong, independent, beautiful woman who is worth a thousand of all you, and your mothers would be ashamed of you all.

 @gags_are_the_best_fight_me_bitch replied: @queeen-bee-says-hi hey look theres the feminazi if you want i can replace that stick up your pussy with my dick you know you need it ill fuck you real good show you what a real mans like

 @truthisanillusion replied: I’ll fuck @queeen-bee-says-hi AND @OfficialPotts_CEO at the same time fucking feminazi cunts, god knows you bitches would be grateful for my prick in your gaping lesbian pussies

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Wow. So. Uh.

1. That’s revolting and my AI just delivered the IPs of @gags_are_the_best_fight_me and @truthisanillusion to the authorities for premeditated violence, rape, and hate crimes. You’re welcome, and feel free to send a cash donation to the charity of your choice for my thoughtfulness. I’d recommend something for women’s or LGBTQ+ rights, and I’ll match it with a multiplier of 1000x.

2. @queeen-bee-says-hi, good for you, and I can see from your profile that you’re a student. Consider your crops watered and your schooling paid for, all the way to your twelfth PhD if you want it.

3. @OfficialPotts_CEO can and will murder you with her pinky nail. I’ve taken on Thanos and I’d rather go ten rounds with him than piss her off. THAT’S why she’s CEO, not because of her admittedly awesome legs.

4. I hate this hellsite. If I buy it, can I kill it?? Rhodey says “technically” so I’m gonna look into that now.

 @i_stan_one_legend_named_virginia_p_potts replied: IRON MANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! DEFEND THE QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!! #PEPPERPOTTS4PRESIDENT

 @iaminlovewithcapandimunashamed replied: lmfao incels be fkd when #ironman comes to town

 @truthisanillusion replied: Hey @YouKnowWhoIAm No one trusts you or likes you, you fake ass super “hero” taking it up the ass like a faggot stfu and die already, kthxbye

 @queeen-bee-says-hi replied: whAT OH MY GOD THAT IS NOT NECESSARY

 @OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Tony, stop picking fights and threatening to buy twitter or I’ll ground you. And just accept the gift, @queeen-bee-says-hi - after all, he’s already done it.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Shut up Pepper, you aren’t the boss of me.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: And jokes on you @truthisanillusion because I’m already dead inside come at me bitch I’ll be the one in the multi-billion-dollar suit of armor surrounded by Avengers

 @OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Actually, I am. Don’t make me take away your toys. Or call @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel. He’s on speed-dial, sweetheart, and he likes me better than you.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Rude.

 @Sorcerer_Surpreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: The last time you threatened someone, your house got blown up. Please refrain from egging on internet trolls or I’ll dump you for Rhodes for my own sanity.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: ALSO RUDE.

“You know, I’m not even remotely bi-curious and I would totally tap that,” Rhodey says absently, though his lips are quirking into a smirk.

Tony rolls his eyes. “Hands off, you little shit, or I’ll tweet about that one time in MIT when you ate that—”

“Fuck you.”

“Been there, done that,” Tony quips cheerfully. “Not remotely bi-curious my ass—”

“You know what’s better than picking fights with twelve-year-olds on twitter? Kicking your ass right here. You come at me, Stank.”

Tony opens his mouth to reply but then gasps, already losing himself in another thread after sending a middle finger emoji into the last one.

@mwahahaha-666 posted: You guys can wax poetry about Tony Stark all you want, but screw that basic-ass rich boy - everyone knows Doctor Strange is the smokin’ hot one. #takemenow #mybodyisready #drstrange

 @ukulele_jedi_master replied: PREACH!!! stark may be loaded but stephen is the one that looks like a prada model giMME THAT MAGICAL DICK

 @xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: Fuck both of you. I just wanna be a fly on the wall when they’re fucking each other...or better yet, DIRECT them on how to ruin each other #ironstrange #otp

 @highpercentageofuselessnessachieved replied: i wonder if he can clone himself like can u imagine?? being fucked from all ends by #drstrange cock?? what i wouldn’t give to be tony stark omfg i don’t even want the money just the hard dickin from that fine piece of ass

 @its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: He’s got Iron Man wrapped around his little finger so he must have the biggest dick and the know-how to use it properly. Yes pls and thank you very much, I’ll take that monster dick pronto.

 @TGBYHN_4_LYFE replied: dude i tell u what i would do what @xxx-foreverfit-xxx said: sit in the corner w a ridign crop in 9’’ stilettos rubbin myself while directing them 2 do what i want...make em touch n stroke n suck n bite n fuck each other til they cant walk anymore n then cuddle w them n stroke their hair

 @catcatcatcat-cat replied: I would give my college education, my life, my cow, and my internet access away for the rest of my life for a sex tape

 @xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: @TGBYHN_4_LYFE omfg fuCK YES CAN YOU IMAGINE listening to them moan as they lost themselves in each oter, so fucking desperate to get off that they’re begging you to let them cum even as they try their hardest to obey, covered in precum and sweat and hot as fuck

 @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: I s2g the amount of fanfiction I write about those two alone should have me committed but I literally can’t stop the two of them are so fucking hot together that it should be illegal god bless Iron Man and Dr Strange and their sexy, sexy chemistry and sexy, sexy bodies #killme

 @one-upon-a-time-in-asgard2 replied: They are the hottest couple in the history of the universe and so fucking pure I love them both so much also @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 I demand a link to your fics cuz I’m always looking for more ironstrange porn #otp #ironstrange

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel Hey, they think you have a big dick. Little do they know that they’re totally right and that you also have the added bonus of actually BEING a big dick too! #dontthreatentoleavemeforplatypus #orilltagyouinthirstposts #awesomethirstposts #stephenhasabigdick #andiloveit #goodshit

 @mwahahaha-666 replied: OH MY DUCKING GOD

 @its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: Well, I’d be mortified that Tony Stark is replying to this except Tony Stark is acTUALLY REPLYING TO THIS BLESS YOU IRON MAN

 @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: One of these days I’m going to murder you with your own bravado and not lose a night’s sleep over it. And fine, I won’t touch Rhodes...I’m sure Rogers is free anyway, and he’s always so polite when I visit.

 @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: Please don’t read my fanfiction I will literally combust in embarrassment also I am dying over here in Copenhagen omfg

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: BRO CODE, DUDE. YOU’RE VIOLATING THE BRO CODE. I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND I WANT A DIVORCE.

 @catcatcatcat-cat replied: ...oh my god what does that mean you guys are MARRIED??!?! BLESS THE WIZARD GODS!!!!

 @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: Rhodes, I know you’re reading over his shoulder, so if you could please take away his phone now before he ends up on the cover of the Times...or breaks the internet. Again. Thank you in advance.

Tony reacts immediately, trying to make a break for it, but Rhodey’s already tackling him into the couch, a hundred and ninety pounds of lean muscle and pretty Class As. Tony hisses breathlessly, the wind knocked out of him, and he struggles valiantly to keep his hands on his tablet while Rhodey does his best to rip it away. He doesn’t have a very good position so he makes a hair-brained, split-second decision to throw his body weight to the side, making them both roll off the couch. Rhodey’s a jerk though, and manages to react fast enough so that Tony takes the brunt of the impact, and he can’t even help but groan in a mixture of mild pain and disappointment as he feels the tablet being removed from his lax fingers.

“Sucks to be you, Stank,” he says breathlessly, fingers flying over the keyboard, and Tony cranes his neck until he can read Rhodey’s reply (and on Tony’s fucking account what in the hell!):

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: I think I broke your hot mess of a husband, Stephen. Come collect him before he murders me with his eyes or gets his hands on another electronic device. We’re in the lab.

Three seconds later, Stephen walks through a portal, looking oh-so-fucking-gorgeous in his battle robes, and wearing a scowl of irritation that bodes well for rough, mock-angry sex in the near future.

Tony grins unapologetically, and abandons the lure of social media in exchange for his pseudo husband.

It’s an easy choice.

Also read on ao3.

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