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#what if tweek is just happy to have someone around who listens and is kind to him???
cool-island-songs · 1 year
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I feel like people never really pay attention to the fact that Tweek never said they should date for the town. Tweek said he wanted to fix things for CRAIG. Which opens up a new angst potential where Craig thinks it's not fake dating, but pity dating.
oHhohHHOHHH??? i'm ngl anon... that's a spicy meatbol
ok let's flesh this one out a bit. craig finds that everyone naturally sympathizes with tweek during the whole t x c debacle... he's a really good actor after all, and people like him and don't call him a dick to his face
craig who thought he was the cool guy realizing tweek is actually the naturally affable one. girls like him, kids like him, puppies like him, classy mfs like tolkien like him. what does craig have. his guinea pig?? cLYDE??? craig convincing himself tweek is taking pity on him, lending him his social shine like craig thought he had been doing for tweek all those times (remember when they were metro together? ;-;)
then when tweek walks out on him over the franchise plan, it just confirms what craig's always known: tweek would move on some day. sure, he says it's about ethics in video game journalism superhero movie franchising, but craig knows better. he thinks he's so much better than craig, doesn't he? so morally perfect even though he's probably holding stupid mysterion's hand now instead
well, whatever. tweek's lame anyway. craig doesn't care about him. craig doesn't care about anyone!! he's just gonna say a bunch of cool, definitely genuinely really apathetic guy stuff like:
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u kno.. to show how much he doesn't need tweek or miss him everyday or anything
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11x13kyle · 1 year
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what are the parents' honest thoughts on fireside and catg podcasts?? and how do linda and stephen react to butters cheating scandal
this is a GREAT question! i’m gonna expand to the nonpodcasters too btw.
butters’ parents: they are beyond humiliated by his very existence. the second he moves out their relationship starts to fizzle out, going from occasional talks and sometimes seeing each other on holidays to no contact at all and only linda acknowledging that he’s even their son. by the time the cheating scandal (and therefore his being gay) comes out, neither of them acknowledge him. as far as they’re concerned, he’s not their son anymore. when asked about him, they play dumb. he used to send them money but he doesn’t anymore. they never asked about this either because this requires contacting their son who isn’t their son. never an official disownment. and it hurts for butters even more because he didn’t even get the closure of his dad screaming at him about how much he sucks, it was just quiet. overall BAD situation.
kyle’s parents: they’re so embarrassed of him. constantly talking about how ike is a LAWYER and has a REAL job even though kyle is objectively more successful. sheila at least is occasionally nice about it because that’s her baby but gerald doesn’t even try to hide his disappointment. kyle is a failson to him and this kind of predated him doing fireside so now it’s just WORSE. permafailson. kyle tries so so hard to impress them and it does nothing, he will always be the disappointing son who had the potential to do so much more and instead is fucking around in los angeles with his bum musician boyfriend (as they see it).
cartman’s mom: cartman can do NO. WRONG. that is her baby. liane is so SO proud of him no matter what. he could kill someone and she wouldn’t give a fuck. she hates butters and kenny forever about the cheating thing too because they hurt her poopsiekins. she listens to fireside and swears to cartman that she thinks kyle’s jabs at him are awful, but secretly she finds them HILARIOUS and laughs out loud every time.
craig’s parents: cannot stress enough how little they give a shit. like, they love him and all, but his career is just so nothing to them. they sometimes even forget he has a podcast at all. their relationship is fine.
tweek’s parents: tweek’s parents are in jail. he visits them sometimes and they’re like “hey. we’re so proud of you for your podcast.” even though they don’t listen to it on account of they are in jail. they’re like “hey are you still gay? awesome. that’s so great. that must be fantastic for listenership.” tweek can’t bail them out because the charge is too big but they ask him every time nonetheless.
tolkien’s parents: they don’t get it but they try to be supportive anyway. he calls them once a week and they have a pretty good relationship. neither of them really attempt to understand his career and they don’t listen to the pod because they find it irritating, but if their son is happy, they’re happy! he doesn’t really discuss it with them.
clyde’s dad: he’s already a podcast listener, so when clyde told him that he was starting a podcast himself he was immediately supportive. he doesn’t really listen to catg because he doesn’t get it, but occasionally he’ll tune in and try to enjoy it a bit. it’s just not his thing, he’s more of an npr kind of guy. he also listens to mbmbam at his big age. but he gets a kick out of telling people about his popular podcaster son.
jimmy’s parents: they love him but they think his podcast and his comedy in general are so fucking dumb. his mom is more polite about it but his dad outright tells him that it’s stupid and unfunny. they’re very serious people so the shit that he does is unfathomable to them.
stan’s parents: i mean randy obviously is his producer so his take on what stan is doing is clear. sharon is SO SO PROUD!!!!! she is always showing people videos of his shows and playing his songs at work, telling people in the waiting room that that’s her baby singing, and look how talented he is! she doesn’t quite get it, and the music isn’t her style, but by god is she playing that shit anyway because stan is her little angel.
kenny’s parents: carol doesn’t care what he does, not in the enabling way that liane has, but more in the way of that’s her little boy and she’s happy that he made it out, regardless of how he had to do it. as opposed to stuart, who is actively resentful of kenny, kind of similar to the way he resents gerald. he sees kenny’s success as a betrayal to their family and the very fact that kenny is living well is as though kenny is basically straight up saying that he sees himself as superior. kenny tries to send his dad money multiple times and he always sends it back and tells him to fuck off with that.
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falloutjay · 3 years
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Boys (Main4/CATG/Forgein Kids) with shy S/O?
This big boy is finally finished!
I honestly feel like this one is my worst HC List yet, but I tried.
And like I said, I will now post out of order, since I now go along with what I feel motivated for at that moment, so you can get the good stuff.
Love you guys! Thank you for all your support, it really makes me happy whenever I get a new notification! <3
__________________________________________
The boys (Main4 I CATG I Forgein Kids) x Shy!Reader
Cartman:
He doesn’t get why you’re shy. Like, just stop being that?
He slowly grows to accept it and kind of likes the roll he slowly slips into.
Anyone being a dick to you? He will berate them on your behalf.
A waiter brings you the wrong order? You don’t wanna make a fuss and just eat what you got but he will make sure that the waiter regrets working that day.
You appreciate him trying to get you heard but you would also like if he brought less attention to you.
  Stan:
You do you. He likes you for who you are and won’t change a thing about you.
Being shy and his family is no good combination.
Randy really tested your limits when you first met his parents.
Stan will always make sure you feel comfortable when he is with you, not wanting to scare you off or anything.
He thinks its super cute that you’re shy. He can’t help but find you adorable if you’re flustered.
  Kyle:
Thinks you’re adorable.
He will always make sure that you will be heard and try to work with you on your shyness.
I mean, hanging out with Kyle and his friends kinda requires it but you manage.
His family finds you charming and think you’re a perfect balance to his hotheadedness.
He won’t let anyone talk shit about you and your comfort is his number one priority!
  Kenny:
He loves to make you flustered and stumble over you word.
He does it with such ease that you sometimes hate him for it.
Kenny knows what it’s like being shy (He used to when he was younger, and Karen still is) so he will just let you be.
He will try to get you more confident, like he did but once he sees that it’s no use, he will stop.
His favorite thing about you? You getting flustered when he flirts with you.
  Butters:
You’re both rather shy so you’re a rather quiet couple that just enjoys each other’s company.
Unlike the other boys, should you get a wring order at a restaurant, you two will just enjoy what you got, not wanting to cause a commotion.
Butters parents love you. You don’t get him into trouble, you are quiet, well behaved, what’s not to love?
Butters is the perfect SO if you just want someone who will just quietly enjoy the world with you.
  Clyde:
Like Kenny, he loves seeing you flustered.
To him its like a game, seeing how far he can push you.
A big problem with him is his ego though.
Some guy bummed into you.
You will just quickly say sorry and continue.
Clyde however will try to pick a fight and will probably lose it, leaving you to profusely apologize.
  Token:
He is so in love with this quiet being named Y/N.
He will gladly do anything you don’t feel like doing.
You have a phone call that makes you nervous and you struggle to get your words out? He will take over.
His parents are in love with you.
They think its so cute how flustered you get when Token talks about how great you are.
  Craig:
Craig and you are a thing to look at.
This tall giant with a shy partner clinging onto his arm whenever he lets you.
Craig really likes your shyness and thinks that it fits you perfectly.
“I love how youre not one of these annoying other girls that just cause trouble wherever they go!”
Craig enjoys spending your time together with just cuddling and listen to music, no talking needed.
  Tweek:
People wonder how you even got together and who made the first step.
(It was you when you just couldn’t wait any longer)
Tweek thinks you compliment him very well and loves that you can manage to keep him calm.
Tweek is also somewhat shy, so you’d be a quiet couple and his parents are crazy about you.
They love how you keep him calm and just smile at them.
Jimmy:
Jimmy likes to jokes about you being shy but you don’t mind that.
You know he means well and means no offense.
You like that he besides that he really doesn’t care if youre shy, he just lets you be you and be happy.
Should you ask him to handle something for you, he will always try.
 Pip:
Cute little tea parties.
Pip is a sweetheart and likes that you’re shy.
He tries to not make you flustered and will occasionally stand up for you.
Like should you really want to get something, but someone messes it up and you just don’t want the confrontation, he will try to make it happen.
  Damien:
Kinda annoyed that you’re shy until he gets used to it.
“Y/N, just stand up for yourself, I can’t always do it!”
Won’t admit that he does kinda find it cute when you blush around him.
Like Clyde, he will pick a fight should someone come at you, but he will win. Always.
  Christophe:
He is nonchalant about it.
You shy? Cool, but can you handle him? If yes, then he doesn’t give a shit how you are.
You thought that was kinda mean, but you eventually get what he means.
If you can handle his with God-hatred loaded rants, rambling about missions then you’re amazing in his eyes. (He won’t be caught alive stumbling over his words should you do something cute while he talks.)
Eventually he admits that he thinks you’re his beautiful “homologue”, that is just so cute and quiet.
  Gregory:
He’s so charmed by your shyness.
He always thought his ideal partner would be super outgoing and not afraid to directly speak their mind.
But once he got to know you, he threw those thoughts right out of a window.
He loves seeing you blush, or maybe hide in an oversized hoodie.
Should someone be mean to you, you wont even have time to react before Gregory has them apologize to you.
  David:
You two met when he served you in his family’s restaurant and he just couldn’t help but fall for you while you were awkwardly trying to order from the cute waiter.
It’s quite an endearing story and his family thinks it is so cute.
They really like you and keep joking about if you weren’t so shy, you’d be a perfect second waiter.
You just awkwardly laugh at that and blush.
David is just in love and can’t help but always think about that fateful day you two met.
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fundead-sp · 3 years
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Chapter 1 - Decision
Craig T.                                                                             11/23/25
Update on Clyde, the bite marks are looking worse. That’s what Clyde had messaged me. I think Stan’s dad is just really sick, and since he made contact with Clyde, he must’ve gotten Clyde sick as well. I bet this is probably just some kind of cold or flu that’s going around. Hopefully it’s not a new COVID-19 variant. My mom will flip if it is. 
I think I shouldn’t tell her about Clyde and Stan’s dad being sick. If she finds out then I’m fucked. I definitely won’t be able to see Clyde until he gets better, and his.. oddly infected bite mark goes away.
Maybe me and someone could go visit him, he might enjoy that.
--------------------------
Craig got out of his bed, slowly walking over to his closet and putting on his normal blue jacket and knitted earflap hat. He then grabbed his shoes and socks, putting them on. 
Craig walked downstairs, seeing his sister, Tricia, flipping him off. Of course Craig had to flip her off back. It was almost like a family tradition.
“Fuck you too, Tricia.” Craig said with a groan, he had a love-hate relationship with Tricia, but mainly a hate one.
“Craig, what did we say about cursing to your sister?” His mom, Laura Tucker, asked him. Craig wasn’t allowed to curse at his sister anymore, his mom had said so. There wasn’t a specific reason why, at least Craig didn’t think so.
“Not to do it.” Craig responded, rolling his eyes slightly. He already knew that he wasn’t allowed to say things like that around or towards his sister. Craig didn’t need his mom to lecture him over saying one curse word.
“Then why did you do it just now?” Laura asked again, she didn’t look too happy at the moment. Craig was going to regret this later, but his mom’s reaction was kind of funny.
“I don’t know.” Craig replied, shrugging.
“Okay, just, go sit down. Breakfast is ready.” Laura sighed.
Craig either didn’t hear her, or listen to her, as he grabbed his bag and wallet, grabbing the front door handle.
“Craig Tucker! Where do you think you're going?!” Laura yelled at first, then slowly lowered her voice. 
Craig thought to himself. Where the hell was he going? He wasn’t going to school since it was a weekend, and normally if he was going to Tolkien or Jimmy’s house, they would have planned out the day already. With Tweek, it didn’t really matter if they were aware of each other visiting. Tweek always got into Craig’s house somehow. Either his parents let him in, or he broke in, it was kind of normal.
Craig didn’t expect it to be this hard, thinking about where he was going.
“I’m going to the park.” Craig said. Since he said that, he might as well go to the park anyway.
Or.. he could visit Clyde. Craig had been thinking about visiting him, as Clyde must be lonely. Craig knows that Clyde is in his room right now, probably trying to sleep away the pain or wanting to go outside and talk to people. Of course Craig would be perfectly fine with staying in his room all day, but he’s not the one sick right now.
“Oh-! Wonderful, be back before dinner, please.” Laura smiled. With Laura, it was all fun and games until she finds out one of your friends is sick. She would most likely isolate you in your room if you came in contact with a sick person, and then wear a fucking hazmat suit when bringing you something as simple as water or food. So, that’s why she can’t find out about Clyde having a weird infected bite mark. Craig knew it was for the better that she didn’t find out.
“I will mom. Bye.” Craig left his house. He walked down to the park, which wasn’t really far away. It was like, 5 minutes away?
Craig decided to sit down. If he’s going to see Clyde, he should probably invite someone to come with him. Clyde loves speaking with more than one person at a time, so that might make Clyde a little happier. 
Who should Craig take though?
Tolkien, Jimmy, Jason, and Tweek were his main options. 
Clyde and Tweek were great friends, but also Tolkien and him. Tolkien just seems to keep Clyde out of trouble, keep him company, and have some small talk. They do text a lot, but Tweek and Clyde interact with each other way more.
Clyde would always go to Tweek Bros Coffee on Fridays, as on Fridays, they give out one free snack to anyone who buys at least a medium sized drink. Tweek gets annoyed with it sometimes, but he tells Craig that he does enjoy the company of more than just his parents telling him to get his shit together or unsatisfied customers. 
Craig decided that he’ll invite Tweek to come with him.
Chapter 1 - Decision - End
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sparkles-and-trash · 4 years
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My fav 3 versions/interpretations of South Park characters thing!
I’m so sorry this took much longer than anticipated, I was gonna do it Friday but then I had a panic attack for the first time in forever because my CFS have been real bad lately and I was in such bad shape my BFF had to come and smack me back to life, and Sunday was suddenly full on breakdown day, a bad BPD episode and yeah, it was rough, but today I’m doing better and I realize nobody really cares about my personal issues lol but I just have a need to excuse myself here and I realize that’s kinda dumb but here we are ANYWAYS I hope these are okay, and that these are in no way the RIGHT interpretations, just my personal favorites! 
Kyle:
suggested by the wonderful  @otherluces <3
#1 
I’m not gonna lie, I love nerdy, preppy Kyle. Sweater-vests, collard shirts, doesn’t realize how attractive he is Kyle, oblivious to people having crushes on him Kyle, set on Harvard to become a lawyer and fight for justice and argue for a living, yanno? 
#2 
I also really like the more dorky and nerdy Kyle, where he has really niché interests that he gets totally invested in and talks about 24/7, loves reading and studying, but not just to get good results, but because he genuinly enjoys it.
#3
The last version I can think of with him, is the tall, lanky and kinda hard to read Kyle. He keeps a lot of his feelings to himself, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have them. He plays basketball, he’s good at it too, and while he does well in school and everyone expects him to go into law, he has some totally different dream he keeps to himself for now. He kinda perks up a bit when in smaller crowds, esp with his cloest friends, but he still carries a lot of secrets that some time needs to come out.
Tweek:
suggested by my new fren  @soft-craig-and-tweek ^^
I like Tweek in so many ways these were hard to pick, but I’mma try to narrow it down a bit and not go totally off haha
#1
I actually quite enjoy the jagged, tired Tweek, the one who with help from friends and family manage to get off the meth his parents feed him secretly, but who still struggle with withdrawal, dark bags under his eyes, kinda pale and with sharp features, but he’s still a sweet and kind boy, a boy who wants to make the right choices and change the world to a better place, but who still has a darkness he carries, and the fact that he never gives up that fight is what makes him so special 
#2
and okay I have to be honest, I do love myself some sunshine boy Tweek. This Tweek still has issues, he is maybe even more anxious than the last one, but he’s also just as vibrant and energetic as he is anxious! He is an artist, he paints with bright colors, he composes beautiful, hopeful melodies, he feels everything so much,  and he is a contagious and exciting person to be around. Cannot dress for the life of him. So much mis-match and odd outfits, but it kinda works? 
#3
The last one I’m gonna mention for this wonderful boy, is the more alternative Tweek. He writes obscure poetry, he watches too many conspiracy theory videos on youtube, he draws the monsters in his mind, and he writes the scariest, most hauntingly beautiful stories on the internet, and people online love him. He has no idea how to deal with being popular in that sense, because irl he is the type to not belong to a certain friend group, but he does go along well with most people on a surface level. Dark circles, shaky hands, crooked and cute smiles, baggy t-shirts and ripped jeans. When he first opens up to someone, he really, really does, and he will always support and be there for you. If you deserve it, that is. 
Nichole: 
also suggested by  @soft-craig-and-tweek <3 
#1
I love nerdy Nichole who isn’t afraid to show it! Maybe she’s a streamer or youtube gamer even, I can def see her writing fanfiction, and being hella good at it too! Makes quite a name for herself online, and hangs out with the boys a lot irl, has game nights with the boys from Board Girls (even Cartman sometimes), is funny in a sarcastic way, but never mean. 
#2
Popular girl Nichole is also a favorite for me, but not in the “classical” sense. I imagine her to be a sporty, maybe on both the basket and volleyball team, captain for the basket one, she’s a born leader, she’s kind and fair, but can also be strict, and people always trust her to be honest and true.  
#3
Artsy Nichole!! I imagine her in bright yellow dresses and with her hair flowing and free, with flowers in her hair, freckles on her face, a big, genuine smile, a loud laughter that is so contagious, she loves spending time with Jimmy because they have a very similar humor, and she’s a theater kid, she sings like an angel and can act, oh boy can she act, she can make anyone laugh or cry in just a blink of an eye, she’s just a human sun-ray and I love her a lot 
Butters: 
suggested by @kinguidamundo, thank you so much!! 
#1
I love edgy Butters soooo much??? Like, he’s still a kind and bright boy, but he can also stand up for himself a lot more, he likes fashion a lot, he gets tattoos and piercings, he explores tons of ways to express himself, he’s a yes-dude, he goes out on dates a lot, but isn’t ready for a “real” relationship yet, but he enjoys meeting people and testing out himself around different types of people! Also he is a bi icon change my mind jk u can’t 
#2
I have a weak spot for the kind of soft and timid looking Butters too, who wears pastel colors and have big, innocent eyes, he is genuine and kind, but he carries something darker inside, something he isn’t sure how to deal with, something that scares him, but in reality it’s just normal feelings, anger, resentment and fear, but he’s lived his life ignoring them so much they catch him off guard at times. He learns to live with them slowly, and he does so with lots of help and patience from friends and loved ones. 
#3
Okay, last one, totally self-indulging here, but yeah, happy sunflower boy is also a big favorite. He is more confident than the previous version, but in a gullible way if that makes any sense? He believes the best in people, and if he is proven wrong, he’s willing to try to help them become better people, if they want to or not! This is honestly the version I love most with Stan, Butters being the ray of sunshine in Stan’s life and Stan being the realism to keep Butters grounded and them both supporting each other so much? Fuck yeah that’s the good stuff. 
Clyde:
suggested by @horrorpumpkin, ty sm friend! <3 
#1
Himbo Clyde!!! Jock dude who genuinely loves sports, he’s a team player, and while he might not be super intellectual, he is very socially smart, he is kind and empathic, he is funny and likable, he always tries his best to make everyone feel included, and while he loves chicks a lot, and is a sexual dude, he does it with nothing but respect and admiration for the ladies! 
#2
Bisexual disaster Clydeeee <3 obv being bi isn’t a personality trait, but he is very open about it, he wants to be confident and good at flirting, but goddamn is he a MESS! He’s also a huge supporter of every single relationship his friends is in, he loves love, in all shapes and forms, he is emotional and kind and awkward in an endearing way. 
#3
Can’t leave out crybaby Clyde, can we now? He’s a bit of an awkward bean as well, but he owns it a bit more. He is kinda like a puppy, a cute, excitable and emotional puppy who loves his friends, video games and lazy movie nights, kinda chubby, he loves baking and does it a lot with Tweek, he is also a huge nerd for Harry Potter and totally geek out over it with Kyle and Nichole sdhlksgdhl
Kenny: 
suggested by anon! 
#1
First up I guess I should put my high school AU Kenny. I know it’s controversial, but I imagine this Kenny to be more on the quiet side, but not really in a shy way. He’s just a bit of an observer who doesn’t speak unless he really sees fit, and while he still has his crude humor and is kinda rumored to be sleeping around a lot, he actually struggle with intimacy issues. He never imagined them to include sexual stuff, but turns out they do, and balancing being sexually open and curious and having these issues ain’t easy on the boy, let me tell you that. 
#2
This one is kinda heavily inspired by Luces, but I love him as kind and loyal, but also a bit more chatty and charming, but not for his own gain. He wants others to feel good about themselves, in social settings, his friends, during sexy times, he is selfless and good, but he is also living for the moment, he is a likable and wonderful guy, but he does still only REALLY open up emotionally to people he really trusts. Not traditionally attractive, but interesting looking in a way. Lots of freckles, bit of buck teeth with a big gap between his front teeth, messy kinda curly hair, long straight nose. Always wears baggy hoodies and worn out jeans, shrugs and gives that lopsided smile when people ask him about anything personal.
#3
Mysterious Kennyyyy. You think you know him, everyone does, but in reality, very few have seen the real him. He likes people, and he likes to help them, he’s always down to listen to people’s problems and help them, he wants to inspire kids like himself to never give up and think there’s only one path for them, because he knows there is not. Volunteers at the animal shelter with Stan, works part time at Tweek Bro’s and is good buddies with Tweek. Had a early sexual debut, slept around a bit and got his heart broken unexpectedly when he was a Freshman, so there are some walls there now, but he ain’t usually one to turn down someone who’s up for it and whom with he has good chemistry either. 
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detectiveopossum · 5 years
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I’ve been through some bullshit the past few months, but it’s finally over now. I realized that there were a few things I still wanted to say
Below the read more is a letter to my ex. All names have been changed to ones from South Park
You can reblog, just reblog the version with the readmore UNOPENED PLEASE
Thank god it’s over.
Dear Cartman,
Thank you. Really. Thank you. If you hadn’t done everything that you did, then I wouldn’t have had to step out of my shell to find friends and amazing people to talk to. I have so many people around me who enjoy my company and actually want to talk to me, like Stan, Butters, Clyde, Wendyll, Bebe, Tweek, Pete, and Craig!
I always thought that I would know what to say if I ever decided to write this letter, but I don’t really. I’ll probably think of something else that I totally forgot about even after this is posted. However, this is the last thing I ever write addressed to you. I have had so many conflicting thoughts these past few months, but I realized that I was viewing everything through rose colored nostalgia glasses. Things won’t ever be the same and I’m okay with that. Really. I am. I don’t ever want to see or hear from you again. I doubt I ever will.
You were one of my best friends for so long. And I’m sorry that I never realized that we would be better as just that. Friends. Hindsight is always 20/20 right? I should have listened to Kyle about you. He was right that I shouldn’t have trusted you. I shouldn’t have paid for anything for you. That’s my fault for not listening to someone who was always looking out for me. I get to see him in May, and I’m still excited about that. You haven’t derailed any of my plans, you just made them easier.
You are a manipulator and a thief. Plain and simple. You stole so much from my house. You physically stole money from me on more than one occasion. You went into my parents' room and stole money, and you stole random things around the house. That wasn’t okay. I trusted you. Even more so, you manipulated me into thinking that the only way I could help you was to buy you things, especially at a cost of things for myself. You used me. You didn’t even need monetary help. You just like being the victim. If you keep down the path you’re going, that’s all you’ll ever be. Your pessimism and negativity even started to drain on me. I started to act just like you. I caught myself before it got too bad though. I refuse to be a victim in my own life. I don’t need to be. I can do so much good for the world if I try to stay optimistic. If I try to see the good in everyone. If I try to help everyone that I can! I do help everyone I can. You couldn’t take that away from me.
Most of the time, I just feel sorry for you. All you have been taught to do is manipulate others and take everything you can get your hands on. That’s no way to live and I honestly pity you. I hope that things are better wherever you are now, but I don’t really care either way. I don’t have to. I’m not your parent. I’m not your partner. And I’m sure as fuck not your friend. I pity you so much, Eric. You have just become this pathetic person who begs for money on the Internet because he can’t be assed to go out and get a job, of any kind! Even part time would be better than laying around your house constantly. It’s not good for you.
When I think back to all of the months we were together, all I feel is hurt now. You hurt me in so many ways. You used me and when I wasn’t okay with paying your way through life anymore? You threw me aside like I was a piece of garbage. That does wonders to one’s self-confidence, ya know. It doesn’t matter now though. I’m okay. I’m doing great! I have my friends to support me. I have Kyle and Mike to be there for me if the things you said to me come back to haunt me like the things that Scott did. I am a whole person, even if I don’t have them. I don’t need anyone else to complete myself. And I pity you for not being able to do that either.
Have you ever noticed that you can’t keep platonic relationships platonic? Every single “friend” that you’ve had has turned romantic in one way or another. That isn’t healthy in the slightest and I hope that you grow out of that eventually. It’s a nasty habit. You use people. You get close to them, and when they can’t do anything else for you, you throw them aside. I would honestly be surprised if in a year from now, that you haven’t started to throw Rebecca to the side. You’ll just keep going through life, trying to take pieces of people along with you as you cast them aside. That is unless you change something. I don’t think you will. You don’t have any reason to. You are perfectly content with never having to do anything for yourself. I don’t understand that, but I guess I never could. I’m too determined to have a good life.
Until January, I never had any life plans for myself. I didn’t have any aspirations or goals or anything. I was just going along with what everyone else was doing. I was a side character in the story of my own life! That’s sad. And it’s not the way I want to live ever again. I refuse to be complacent in my life. I used to think that we weren’t that different, Eric. But we are worlds apart. I intend on living the best life I can for myself. I’m going to live the life that you won’t let yourself have. I’m going to be happy. I guess that’s something you won’t ever understand. That okay. I’ll live a happy enough life for both of us.
And you know what? I don’t care if you even see this. I don’t care if you don’t read it. I don’t care if you see the first paragraph and then run crying to people and lying about me. I don’t give two damns about anything you do ever again. I’m finished with you and this is my final send off. I’m going to go and talk to my friends, or write, or make some art, maybe even roleplay. Hell. Anything that doesn’t have anything to do with you. Have a nice life, Eric Cartman. Don’t call me. Don’t come back. Just survive. That’s all you ever do anyways, right? Lie, cheat, steal, and survive? Not really solid life advice, but you’ll learn eventually. Goodbye.
Sincerely,
Heidi Turner.
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fcldspar · 6 years
Note
Where do people get the idea that craig is whipped? I probably missed something.
oh babe
to be fair the concept of craig being whipped is more explicit in fanon perceptions than canon, but, they do have basis in canon craig’s attitude towards tweek i.e. fanon perceptions of him can seem hyperbolic or out of character at times, but they weren’t pulled out of the abyss, they’re there because canon craig has very strong affections for tweek as well, it’s just that fanon craig’s and canon craig’s affections aren’t always displayed in exactly the same way. canon craig’s whipped attitude is shown more through various types of gestures, but of course in fandom culture fanon craig’s whipped attitude is shown a lot of the time through physical affection, which is why it can often seem like there’s little correlation. with fanon craig’s affection all you have to do is train your eyes in the direction of some art and see them making out, with canon craig’s affection it’s a question of looking more closely at what happens and understanding the reason and symbolism behind his gestures (some of these gestures are of course physical, like holding hands and hands on backs, so but they’re not as arguably hyperbolic as the fanon physical affection (again another sign that fanon perceptions have basis in the canon reality of it))
(i’m not gonna go into tweek x craig in great detail in this cus that’s a whole other post altogether, but i’m going to look at pretty much everything else)
the first thing is identifying the most basic fact, which is that it’s obvious that craig actively likes tweek’s company (a privilege not many people have since not many people have the ability to not bore or annoy craig, already placing tweek amongst some of craig’s favourite people)
it’s something that can be seen before tweek x craig:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
and after tweek x craig, even more so since they’re now officially a couple:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
keep in mind that in all of these they’re not required to be seen together for the main plot of that scene in the same way that they may be seen together in scenes revolved around them, however considering it’s matt and trey this show holds no coincidences — what you can interpret from all this is that they’re shown to be with each other for a reason, however it’s not because the script itself requires it for the main plot of that particular scene to move forward, so it must be something else
basically what i’m saying is that, it’s obvious they have at the very least a base-line liking for each other (both with their friendship and their relationship). this on its own of course is not enough to prove that craig is ‘whipped’, but it’s enough to show that he does regard tweek as someone he wants in his life (and vice versa of course)
what really shows how much affection craig has for tweek is through his gestures, both physical/verbal and wider-scheme gestures
with his physical/verbal gestures, there are a few key things about his character to keep in mind: he is not a compassionate or affectionate person by nature. what three newer seasons and a game show about how he acts with tweek doesn’t erase the fact that, by classic nature, he’s an asshole. an insensitive apathetic unfeeling asshole who previously wouldn’t be caught dead giving anyone any sort of affectionate nickname and has a history of targeting kids and leading bullying campaigns (as in he’s the one leading the act of bullying other kids) and is never seen willingly giving anyone any sort of physical reassurance of any kind. all of this is the direct opposite of how he acts around tweek — willingly holding hands, touching his back both as reassurance and just as a sign of pure affection (for example in the second last screenshot above), calling him “honey” and “babe” basically all the time (even when no one else is around), trying his best to calm down tweek and help him feel better in any way he can, trying his best not to ostracise tweek for his emotions (again all keeping in mind how extreme tweek’s emotions can be, which would be taxing and draining for basically anyone to have to deal with). craig is not typically an affectionate or caring person, exactly the opposite in fact, and yet he devotes himself to tweek’s comfort and happiness (only stopping when he either has literally no visible way to help, or when he succeeds in helping tweek feel better). instead of causing pain to others and caring nothing for others’ emotions, he tries to bring tweek a state of being content and happy because he genuinely wants tweek to feel so, showing that tweek is his personal exception.
(this is gonna be exploring his wider gestures, specifically in Put It Down, in more detail) i personally think that his ‘wider’ gestures go further in showing his genuine care for tweek because they’re not nearly as quick or easy as putting a reassuring hand on his back or saying “go home and make some cupcakes, honey” (an actual quote from him), and they’re certainly not something he’d even dream of doing for any other character. throughout the entire episode he was trying to help tweek feel more secure: advising him to try and appeal to Kim using his strengths, buying him a fidget spinner (which yes did nothing to help admittedly, but he tried on the grounds that he really did think it would help and in this context that’s what counts), not getting annoyed with him for coming into his room at whatever hour at night that was and literally screaming into his ear and STILL trying to listen to him despite being sleepy, taking him out on a theme park date in denver to try and help him feel better and trying to appeal to his favourite ride, trying to reason with tweek even when it was clear he was running out of patience (and we know his logical reasoning wasn’t the right approach, but at the time he had no idea at all and tweek was literally the first human he’d ever put substantial effort into supporting, and keep in mind they’re only ten-year-olds who aren’t supposed to have much experience in relationships, so you can’t blame the poor boy for having no previous experience and knowledge of what to do. he’s an apathetic science and maths nerd, he’s only ever had to deal with logic before getting together with tweek) (seriously though he really was trying, i feel for him) (plus compare it to how quickly he ran out of patience with the main gang in the pandemic episodes of s12, so he really is trying to keep his cool here for tweek’s sake), only giving up when in his mind he had tried absolutely everything, BUT when he heard heidi’s speech he immediately left the school with a big smile on his face and all previous annoyance at tweek vanished, turned up at tweek’s house and without hesitation got tweek to think through all his emotions despite tweek’s initial annoyance and confusion, and ON TOP OF ALL THIS he willingly sang a solo for part of an original song with tweek even though he has no interest in dramatic arts or music or performances at all (not to mention his voice isn’t exactly ideal for singing, but he would have known this and willingly went along with it anyway) and then continued to sing throughout the rest of the song at the front of the stage in front of hundreds of adults hand in hand with tweek. this is all remarkably out of character for someone who normally is just a plain old dick, and it’s only ever tweek he shows this amount of regard and concern and effort for
tldr: people talk about how ‘whipped’ craig is because he is, he is a boy normally known for his apathy and meanness going well out of his way to assist and support his boyfriend. they’re basically the most healthy couple in the entire show because of the fact that they, two ten-year-old fourth graders, show more concern for each other than your average adult couple, in this context especially craig. it’s the character development and contrast that is key here: all empathy and care that he could have shown for others throughout the show but never did is directed towards tweek (and stripe of course) alone. as a side note, i looked up the urban dictionary definitions of ‘whipped’ and all the top results imply control and manipulation, and i want to emphasise that tweek and craig’s relationship is NOT about either of those, their relationship is an affectionate respectful one which is why i haven’t used the word ‘whipped’ to describe them much in this. they do care about each other to the point that if they were worse people they COULD try to control each other hypothetically, but i want to highlight that they do not actually do this and show absolutely no signs of wanting to. what they have is affectionate and caring, but not manipulative or controlling (again, why they’re the most healthy couple in south park)
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uas-fics · 6 years
Text
Control, Chapter 4
Chapter 3 - Chapter 5
read on ao3
Somehow, Craig felt worse sleeping in his own room than he did in the medical ward. The familiarity of the room that had earlier left him feeling at home, now mocked him. He rarely slept alone in this room. Tweek was almost always there next to him. He pulled his pillow closer to his chest. Since the last time Craig and Tweek had stayed the night, the pillow and bedding had been washed. Craig couldn't even pretend the scent of rain and coffee that clung to Tweek was there.
Craig felt the bed dip and the blanket lift. He rolled over to see Not Tweek crawling under the covers. With a swift kick, Craig pushed Not Tweek off the bed. Not Tweek stumbled and landed on the floor with a thud. Craig didn't know how much force he used in the kick, but it was probably more than he needed to.
Not Tweek crawled to his knees then moved towards the bed. His face was set in a pout, a pout Craig found himself disliking more and more. His Tweek didn't pout like a child when he didn't get his way. If anything, Craig was the one more likely to whimper and whine when he was ignored or rejected Tweek's affection.
"I got you a blanket," Craig snapped, "and pillows. Sleep on the floor, make a nest in the shower, whatever, but you're not sleeping with me."
A small whimper escaped Not Tweek's throat. "Oh, come'on. Just for a second? I'm kind of feeling touch starved here."
Craig pulled his blanket over his head. "You have the wifi password. You have a right hand. Go turn on the shower and have at it."
With a yank, Not Tweek tore away the blanket. "If I wanted sex since Craig and I have been apart, I would have gotten it." There was a very slight edge in his voice that made Craig curve an eyebrow. He propped himself up on his elbow.
"Why are you two apart? You said he doesn't want own up to his mistake," He asked. While he was curious as to the deeper reasoning behind Not Tweek and Not Craig's thought processes, he would also be perfectly happy if the prying question made Not Tweek leave to hide in the bathroom.
"Not quite. We had an argument." He stated coolly.
"About?"
At this, Not Tweek glanced away for a brief second. He leaned his arms on the mattress and rested against them. He heaved a sigh.
"His parents." Not Tweek ground his teeth, the first real anger Craig could recall him displaying. "His stupid fucking parents, who kicked him out of the house when he was barely a teenager all because he told them he's gay."
"Um, wow," Craig muttered in disbelief.
He remembered when he came out to his own parents. He'd gathered them and his sister around the dinner table and laid it all out: he was gay, he liked boys, he only ever dated the girls because he thought that was what he was suppose to do.
He remembered the feeling of fear that gripped his stomach. He remembered trying to keep his words and body from shaking. He remembered his dad standing up and leaving for a drive, only to come back later that night when Craig was in bed.
For the briefest moment, Craig could almost feel his dad's arms around him. The ghost of his words of love and acceptance played as an echo in the back of his head. He couldn't imagine how he would have turned out if his family rejected him.
"That, uh, that really sucks." Craig replied, mostly because he didn't know what else to say.
Not Tweek buried his nosed in his arms. "Yeah. But Craig, motherfucking Craig Tucker, for some reason I don't think I'll ever understand, goes and tries to talk to his family and get them back in his life. Every. Single. Year. A family who tossed his ass out on the curb, jeopardizing his budding villain career, all because they didn't like him kissing boys." A fire sprang to life in Not Tweek's eyes. "And every single fucking year, Craig comes back in the dumps and feeling like shit."
"Why bother then?" If that Craig's family was anywhere near as stubborn as Craig's own, Craig wouldn't have even tried.
"I don't know." Not Tweek sighed. "I really, really don't know. His sister let him back into her life when she moved out, maybe he thinks his parents will too, or maybe he wants to make sure he stays in his grandmother's will. Either way, I hate dealing with the aftermath, so every year I tell him he shouldn't be the one reaching out to them. He never listens. Never. And this year, I...I...fuck." Not Tweek ran a hand through his hair. "I fucked up. I took it too far when we started to fight over it and said some things I shouldn't have."
Craig didn't ask what Not Tweek could have said, but he could imagine what heated words could have gotten thrown around in the moment.
"So Not Craig came here to fuck with Tweek to get you back?"
Not Tweek looked away. "Not exactly. He...he thinks he already got me back, and that he's the one who went too far."
"How?"
"He slept with someone else." Not Tweek's voice was barely above a whisper.
"Oh." Much like before, Craig couldn't think of anything to say.
He couldn't actually imagine he and Tweek getting in to a fight so bad he went out and cheated while they were still together. He'll, he couldn't even give a sincere effort to cheat when he did think they weren't together.
Besides, he had other ways to piss off Tweek if he wanted to: break his favorite cup, purposely drink milk from the carton, hide his iPod, or take all the labels off the spice jars.
Just before the silence became too much. Not Tweek muttered, "He probably thinks I'm mad at him about it, but I'm really not."
"You're not?" Craig's brow crinkled. "He cheated on you. How can you not be angry?"
"Because he cheated on me with Mysterion," Not Tweek rolled his eyes. "Sleeping with Mysterion doesn't count as cheating. Mysterion is a smooth talker. He can convince anyone to do just about anything with him if he can jabber on long enough. Knowing that, there is no reason for me to give any fucks that they slept together." The way he spoke, it was like he was explaining a common fact to a child.
The memory of the bouncer and the waitress at Raisin’s played quickly in Craig's head. The Mysterion he knew had a certain tone he used when trying to,persuade people to his side, like a rally cry. The few times Professor Chaos had worked with Freedom Pals, it had always been Mysterion who convinced him to lay his evil schemes aside and join in the fight for the greater good.
While Kenny's friendliness was out right, Mysterion's was subtle, Craig decided, but they were both the same nature that drew people to come to their way of thinking. The thought of him using it for evil almost made Craig shudder.
"If that's true, why does he want to make you mad enough to break up with him?" Craig asked as he propped the pillow under his chin.
Not Tweek shrugged. "Wants to punish himself, I guess. That's probably why your Tweek when ape on you. Having a Tweek kick a Craig's ass is probably cathartic for him somehow." Not Tweek pushed back from the bed then stretched. "I'm sure once we find him, I can talk some sense into his head--or at least chill him long enough for someone to break the controller."
Craig glanced to the side, at the unfinished rocket on his desk, at Stripe's pen, then back at Not Tweek. He pursed his lips before scooting over to the edge of the bed. In one fluid movement, he grabbed Not Tweek under the armpits and dropped him onto the bed beside him.
He pointed as he spoke. "Stay on top of the covers. If you try and get under, or touch me, there is going to be a Tweek-sized hole in the wall. Got it?"
Not Tweek blinked before a lopsided smile spread across his face. For a brief moment, Craig could ignore the black hair and just see his Tweek looking back at him. Once the moment faded, however, a pang of worry hit him. He shook it off before rolling over and pulling the covers up to his ears.
He grumbled, "Good night." then spent the next hour forcing himself to sleep.
He looked so much like Craig. It was almost amazing Tweek wasn't next to his own boyfriend.
But that wasn't Craig, not his Craig, anyway. This was Hero Craig. Hero Craig who let Tweek sleep beside him even though he was sure he didn't really like him that much.
Tweek watched him breathe, deeply, in and out, in and out. His hand twitched. He wanted to touch him, like he did his own. He wanted to cup his face, run his fingers through his hair, kiss him, but he knew better and clenched his fist.
Tweek took a breath before carefully rolling off the bed to the floor. He snagged his phone off the bedside table, using its dim light to travel to the bathroom. Shutting the door first, he flicked on the light switch. Out of habit, he glanced down at his lock screen. Of course he wouldn't have any new messages or notifications. None of his accounts existed in this world. He was still honestly surprised his phone could even connect to the Base's wifi.
He twisted the sink on and let the water run cold before splashing his face. After wiping the water off from his face, he looked in the mirror. His fingers brushed against the scar across his lips. He smiled fondly at it. The scar came from the first big fight he and Craig had ever had, when both of them had been goaded on by some of the other villains. Though it ended in a tie, both of them walked away with a limp and bruises, he like to tease Craig that he had let him off easy. Then Craig would always playfully counter that he was the one to let Tweek off ease, because he felt bad about messing such a pretty face.
Tweek frowned, and the face in the mirror mimicked his expression.
A sigh escaped his nose. Tweek didn't like alternate universes--at all. Everything was different, but also the same, and the contrast bothered him in a way he could never really describe. He nearly screamed when ToolShed angrily called him up with the news Craig had stolen one of his dimension hopping rifles. Tweek had desperately hoped that Craig was just pranking him, but when he found out that Craig had asked Mosquito to take care of Stripe for him, he knew he would have to chase Craig down.
Water filled the sink half way. Tweek pushed the faucet aside and shoved his face down into the water, trying to focus on the cool liquid across his face and not his thoughts.
After a couple of minutes, Tweek threw his head back, gasping for air. Holding himself up with his arms, he panted.
"Craig, why did you do this?" He asked the mirror as if it would magically reply. "I told you I didn't care. It doesn't matter."
His chest tighten as he remembered finding out about Craig's infidelity.
Tweek figured that a fight that bad would take a while for both of them to calm down and spent the morning loafing around the house, scrolling through the same posts on his Twitter and Instagram and refreshing Craig's accounts over and over.
Craig had stormed out, not even bothering to take Stripe with him, and as angry as Tweek was, he still wanted to know where Craig had gone off to and if he was safe.
As he refreshed Craig's Twitter for the seventh time, he received a discord call. Raising his eyebrow, Tweek accepted the call.
"What?" He asked, trying to keep any irritability out of his voice. No one else needed to know what happened between him and his boyfriend.
"Morning!" Mysterion's smiling, unmasked face greeted him. Tweek let a cringe of disgust raise his lip up. He didn't hate Mysterion, per say, but after being forced onto a team with him during the Villain Civil War, Tweek had found he didn't quite like him either. Mysterion was a snob who looked down his nose at nearly everyone.
"What?" Tweek repeated, deadpan. He didn't like the shit eating grin Mysterion had on. He only wore a smile like that when he was trying to start drama.
"I found something you will definitely be interested in, Super Tweek." Mysterion leaned back, twirreling the cord of one of his headphone's between his fingers. He wasn't just unmasked, he also didn't have a shirt on. Hickeys peppered his shoulders. Truly, he was living up to the billionaire, playboy jackass persona he had made for himself.
"I'm not feeling up to a heist right now." Tweek replied, pushing himself up into a more comfortable sitting position on the couch.
Mysterion's grin grew, as did the ball of dread in Tweek's stomach. "Oh, it's not a heist! It's something else completely." He pulled out one headphone. "You see Tweek, I found the most amazing sight in my bed this morning. Have a look for yourself." The camera panned around to a form sprawled out across the bed.
A line of drool rolled down Craig's chin has he slept, completely nude, with a blanket thrown across his legs.
The dread in his stomach turned to ice that spread through Tweek's body.
Mysteiron laughed then said, "I see why you keep him around now, Tweek. He's great."
Through clenched teeth, Tweek demanded, "What did you do to him?"
The camera turned back to Mysterion. "Do to him? More like what did he do to me." Another laugh.
"I said, what did you do to him?"
Mysterion shrugged then sneered, "Nothing. I just found him at the bar last night, heartbroken, and gave him an option to get his mind off it. It's not my fault he took it. I guess I offered him more support than you were willing to give."
Tweek took a breath and let it out through his nose. This wasn't the first time Mysterion had pulled this stunt. Tweek had seen Mysterion do this before between other villains and anti-heroes: Fool around and see how far he could push the bonds between people before they snapped. He did it when he fucked around with ToolShed behind Call Girl's back. He fed Mosquito lies about that Bebe girl that caused them to break up. He destroyed The Coon and Human Kite's friendship beyond repair.
And now he had come for Tweek and Craig.
Tweek shrugged, falling back into his normal aloof expression. He wasn't giving Mysterion the satisfaction. He wasn't going to let Mysterion win.
"I guess you did. Hope you enjoyed your reward. Don't tell Craig I know." And he hung up. Tweek stared down at his phone and the ended call screen before standing up calmly and launching his phone across the room.
Shaking himself from his memories, Tweek turned off the water and watched as it slowly spin down the drain. He let himself slip down to the tile floor. He spotted his jacket tossed to the side and snagged it. He slipped the too big jacket on and pulled it tight around himself. It wasn’t originally his jacket. It was Craig’s, but Tweek had taken it one day and claimed it at his own, going as far as to sew his own villain logo onto the shoulders.
Tweek smiled to himself. He could still hear Craig’s nasally laugh when Tweek asked him how he looked in it.
His smile fell after a moment.
This was all his fault. If he had kept calmer when Craig came back so downtrodden, then Craig wouldn't have had to run to someone else. If he had just kept his mouth shut and held him, they would be home now.
Tweek ran a hand through his hair, staring unfocused at the side of the bathtub. He'd left his dimension hopping rifle there earlier. Hero Mysterion must have made good on his word to take it. He hoped these heroes didn't break it. Though Tweek could care less if ToolShed was mad at him or not, he didn't want to risk that Craig had broken his as well and they would be stuck in this shirty, goodie two shoes universe forever.
Tweek groaned, hitting his head against the cabinet.
"Craig Tucker, why the fuck are you like this?" Tweek muttered before slowly pushing himself back up. With a heavy weight in his stomach, Tweek flipped off the light and went back to the bed.
"Craig has the sweet tooth between us, but this is good. You're a not a bad cook--better than my Mosquito, anyway," Not Tweek complimented around a lemon bar. Mosquito shoved another in his mouth before noisily saying his thanks. Chunks of yellow, half-chewed bits scattered across Craig's sheets.
Craig yawned. The plan meeting would be in an hour or so, and Craig just hoped he could stay awake. He'd only gotten a few hours of light sleep before spending the rest of the time tossing and turning in worry. At some point in the night, Not Tweek even got sick of the constant movement and pulled the blanket off the bed and made himself a bed on the floor. Craig woke up cold and exposed.
Stripe turned in Craig's lap. He fixed his gaze on Craig for a moment, and Craig shrugged. He tore a part of lemon bar off and held it down to Stripe. Stripe sniffed it then grabbed the offering and began to eat it.
"Hey, so what's your Mosquito like anyway? Bzzt!" Mosquito asked. "Is he as rugged and cool as me?"
"He's an asshole who once held half the US hostage with the threat of plague infected pests." Not Tweek stated wryly. "It was one of the few times all the villains and heroes had to come together. It was not fun." Not Tweek wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Other than that, he's not so bad. Mostly he's just a know it all."
"Oh," Mosquito shirked down, wringing his hands together. "What about your Fastpass or Tupperware? Are they assholes too?"
"All villains are assholes." Not Tweek stated matter-of-factly. "Comes with the territory."
Stripe crawled up Craig's knee, trying to sneak another bit of lemon bar, but Craig lifted his hand up.
"Why'd you even become a villain anyway?" Craig asked. "My Tweek wanted to be a hero to help people. Stripe suggest I be one and I didn't have anything better to do. Mosquito thought it'd get him girls. What's your reason?"
Not Tweek rolled his eyes. "Do villains not monologue their backstories in this world, or do you really want to hear the whole thing?"
"Oh, they monologue." Craig scooped up Stripe with one hand and shoved the rest of his lemon bar into his mouth with the other. "Mephisto once talked about 'fixing God's mistakes' for so long that Tweek and I were able to take out his whole mutant army before he was done."
Not Tweek hummed. "Alright. The reason I became a villain is...I wanted to." He shrugged. "Nothing deeper than that. I randomly got powers from a solar anomaly, and I use them for my own gain and amusement. If not for teaming up with Craig when we were kids, I would have gotten bored of the whole thing and stopped years ago."
A forlorn smile spread on his face. He laid down on the floor, his hands under his head. "Craig actually does it for a good reason. He likes playing Robin Hood, ya know, take from the rich give to the poor style villainy. For example, everytime we go to a new restaurant and it sucks, we break in, steal the place clean of food and drop it off at a homeless shelter a few cities away before torching the place." A laugh. "He gets so happy knowing he's helping in such a badass way."
Mosquito squirmed in the desk chair, glancing at Craig for him to break the awkward silence that had started once Not Tweek finished.
"So, uh, is it hard being a villain in your world?" Craig finally asked.
"Eh, not really. Being a villain is a fairly good career path where I'm from. High risk, high reward, as they say." He crossed his leg over his knee. "But being a civilian with a connection to a villain is best though. If it's a tough villain, no one is going to ever mess with you."
"Why not just give up the villain thing and be a house spouse then?" Craig questioned, picking up Stripe and setting him on his shoulders.
"Why would I do that?" Not Tweek snorted. "Craig and I work best as a team. We're a villainous duo after all. Besides if I left him to run around the house all the time, it would be made into a giant guinea pig hutch in no time."
Craig's stomach twisted. He wouldn't say it, but he and Tweek had talked about one of them giving up being a hero so they would have a normal life to fall back on when they retired from the game. Craig turning the entire house into Stripe's personal playpen had been one of the teases Tweek brought up against the idea.
Stripe nuzzled against his cheek. He could feel Craig's unease. Craig pressed the pig closer to his face, calming both their nerves a little.
"The meeting is going to start soon. We should head that way." Craig pushed himself up. He took Stripe from his shoulders and walked him over to the pen. He set him down, stroking him. Mosquito picked up the near empty pan of lemon bars as Not Tweek stood.
"Finally get to see the rest of this base and not just one room." Not Tweek stretched until his back popped. "Freak some heroes out. Heh. That'll be fun."
Craig decided not to mention he had Tupperware send out a mass email explaining all of what was going onto the rest of the team. Instead he kept his mouth shut and pet Stripe a few more times before he stood and headed to follow the others out.
At the door, Craig heard a voice he hadn't heard in years.
"It'll be alright! You'll save Tweek. You have all your friends with you! I believe in you, Craig!" Stripe had scurried up one of the ramps to the top of the pen. He squeaked in loud encouragement and spun around in circles.
Craig flashed a smile at Stripe then gave a quick thumbs up.
"Thanks, Stripe. Be ready, I'm sure Tweek will want to hold you when he gets back."
"Ah, come on. It's sausage. I thought you liked sausage."
Stupid Craig, as Tweek had been referring to him, pushed the pizza slice closer to Tweek. Tweek snorted at him and rolled away, pressing his body against the cold metal wall. Stupid Craig heaved a sigh. The thin, dirty mattress dipped as he sat down.
"You either eat willingly, or I make you do it. I'm giving you a choice here, Tweek." He sounded like a tired parent. Tweek looked over his shoulder with a glare. He'd already tried putting all his rage into his glares earlier in the vein hope he had some laden fire powers that might set Stupid Craig ablaze.
Unfortunately he didn't, and at this point, Tweek wasn't even really angry anymore. He was just irritated. Irritated he was being controlled. Irritated he even for a minute believe this blond Craig was his and let him close. Irritated he didn't have some sort of barbarian strength he could use to make a Craig-shaped hole in the wall.
After a moment, he pushed himself up then reached for the pizza. Right before his hand touched the greasy crusts, Stupid Craig's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist. He yanked his arm up, causing Tweek to fall forward from the force. He hissed at almost having his shoulder pulled from his socket.
"The hell is this?" Craig frowned as he shoved Tweek's sleeve down past his elbow. He sent a pointed look at the nail marks on Tweek's arm. "I told you to stop. I don't like seeing you hurt yourself like this! The hell, Tweek?"
"Wow, it's almost like this is stressful for me, and I'm falling back to bad coping mechanisms because I sure don't have access to my new ones!" Tweek snapped.
Hurt flashed across Stupid Craig's face. An apology pressed against Tweek's lips but he bit it back. This alternate universe Craig looked so much like his own, even with the blond hair. Their hazel eyes both grew big as their lips pouted out the smallest amount when Tweek hurt their feelings.
Unlike his Craig, though, Stupid Craig's lip kept going out and started to quiver.
Tweek tore his hand away when he felt Stupid Craig's grip loosen. He grabbed the pizza and slid back into the corner. He kept eye contact the entire time, daring Stupid Craig to try and grab him again. He might have been drained of his weather powers, but that didn't mean he wasn't willing to fight with his fists.
He nibbled on the pizza. As he expected, it was greasy and tasted like tomato-flavored cardboard with cheap ass fake cheese melted on it. He could make better pizza in his sleep. In the back of his head, he started going through the lists of recipes he'd memorized over the years for one of pizza dough. The closest he could remember clearly was bread dough.
Clyde one time brought some bread rolls with pizza sauce and toppings cooked inside to the house. Those wouldn't be too difficult to replicate.
Tweek tried to lose himself in his thoughts. It was risky, since it wouldn't take much for the pleasant thoughts of baking and cooking to bleed into more negative ones, but it was better than the reality he was in. Just as he was making a list in his heads of ingredients for the pizza bread rolls, Stupid Craig tore him from his thoughts.
"I'm sorry," he whimpered with his head lowered. "If you tell me what you normally do to deal with stress, I can try to help."
"Can you, nnng, pull my kitchen out of your ass? Because I stress bake." Tweek grumbled.
Stress baking, as Craig lovingly coined it, was one of Tweek's go-to stress relievers when he was off from super hero duties. There was a calming effect in measuring out ingredients, stirring them, and watching whatever he was baking come to life in the oven.
Tweek almost smiled at the memory of Craig's face when he walked into the kitchen once to see every available flat surface covered with cakes, breads, and cookies. Even if he had let himself smile at the memory, his anxiety would have pushed the reason he ended up stress baking that day to the front of his mind: his parents.
Tweek unconsciously pulled himself into a tighter ball. He still didn't know how they found his address or phone number. His heart nearly lept out his chest when he heard his dad's too calm voice greet him and say they were in the city and planning to come see him. It had been years since Tweek had dealt with them, but every unsupportive and belittling thing they had ever said to him came racing back before he could even reply.
Tweek shoved the memories back as best he could. What he wouldn't give for his medication right now.
"Tweek?" Stupid Craig raised a hand towards him.
"Don't fucking touch me!" Tweek snapped, sending bits of chewed crust on to the mattress. "You are not my Craig, so stop acting like I should like you or owe you anything! You're fucking me up, asshole!"
Stupid Craig jerked his hand back. His lip went out more, and Tweek had the sudden urge to reach out and try to rip it off.
"I really am sorry, Tweek. But I have to do this for my Tweek. If I don't, we can't be happy." He explained gently, like he was trying to calm a scared animal. Effectively, he was.
"Bullshit." Tweek snapped. "Bull fucking shit. how does forcing me to destroy the city against my will help anyone? It--urk!--doesn't!" He wanted to grabbed at the scabs on his exposed arm. Just something to do with his hands besides balling them into fists, but chose against it. The last thing he wanted was Stupid Craig using that controller on him again.
Stupid Craig scooted back, giving Tweek his space. He raised his hands, palms up. "Do you want me to explain? I can. I'll tell you everything."
Tweek grunted in the affirmative, but he didn't relax like he knew Stupid Craig hoped he would. He wouldn't dare relax until he knew Stupid Craig was out of the room, the door locked tight. Even then, it wouldn't be a real relax.
"Ok, so," Stupid Craig laced his fingers together, "I have a family."
"No, duh." Tweek muttered.
Stupid Craig frown deepened, but he continued on speaking as if Tweek hadn't made the jab.
"My family, I love them. I love them a lot. They made me who I am. I really do love them, really, but," he glanced away, "they don't approve of my life choices. Not anymore." his voice dropped down to a whisper. he took a shaking breath before looking up, meeting Tweek's eyes. If Stupid Craig was looking for pity on Tweek's face, he didn't find any.
Tweek choked down the last of the pizza as he waited for Stupid Craig to go on. After a moment, Tweek caught on. With a grown, Tweek asked him why.
Finally having been prompted, Stupid Craig said, "Because I'm gay--"
"They disowned you because you're gay?" Tweek flinched back. His family reveled when he stutteringly came out. Both his parents were ecstatic--though how much of their excitement was for their son and how much was for them to be able to show off how progressive they were, Tweek wasn't sure.
"...is what I told my Tweek." Stupid Craig finished. "It's a lie. I lied to him. The truth would make him mad."
"What's the real reason? Your family hate him or something?" Tweek asked.
Stupid Craig blushed and glanced away. "Um, yeah. They really really don't like him. They think he's too heartless and that we don't make a good duo." Stupid Craig looked back up at Tweek, a new fire in his eyes. "But they're wrong. Tweek just doesn't show his emotions to anyone but me! He's a sweetheart, and if they just gave him a try, I know they would love him almost as much as I do! But they refuse. Every time I go for a yearly visit, they always rag on me for not breaking up with Tweek!"
Tweek's mouth hung open for a moment. The shock filled his numbly his limbs.
"I don't...that doesn't make any sense." He ran his hand through his hair. "What does that have to do with me?"
Stupid Craig laced his fingers together then dropped his hands between his thighs. He reminded Tweek of a small child about to admit he stole a pie from the window sill.
"When I returned from my visit, Tweek and I got into a fight. He said somethings, I said something. He said something worse, and I left. I went out and in my anger made a huge mistake. I went to a bar. Another villain, Mysterion, was there. We got to talking, and, I," Stupid Craig's voice cracked here, "I ended up sleeping with him." Stupid Craig clenched his eyes shut, but a tear still found its way down his cheek.
Tweek's stomach twisted into knots. He could never imagine his Craig going out and cheating on him after a fight. Tweek knew Craig well enough to know if Craig wanted to get him back, the worst he would do would be to break his favorite cup or rip off the labels on the spice jars. Craig would do small things that he knew would drive Tweek up the wall, but going out and cheating wasn't even on the table.
Any pity that Tweek might have felt dried up instantly, only to be replaced with a fresh flood of rage.
"You deserve to be broken up with for that! I hope your Tweek does break up with you! You clearly can't, nnng, be fucking trusted!" Tweek snapped. He kicked his leg out with as much energy as he could manage to try and shove Stupid Craig off the mattress. His foot landed squarely against Stupid Craig's side, but the villain didn't flinch.
Instead, Stupid Craig made the first Craig like expression Tweek had seen on him.
Face completely deadpanned, he met Tweek's eyes. "I do, I want him to, and I can't be." He frowned. "Tweek won't break up with me, though. I told him the day it happened, not two hours after I woke up next to Mysterion. I called him and admitted everything I'd done, but Tweek didn't even seem to care." Stupid Craig gritted his teeth a moment. "He just told me 'ok' and said I needed to pick up milk on the way home since we were out."
"H-h-how the fuck can he not be upset with you?" Tweek demanded. "You cheated on him!"
"I know!" Stupid Craig threw his arms up. "I know! But that's the thing: Tweek doesn't get mad about shit! He loves to pretend that nothing bothers him, that he's just an aloof douchebag, but I know his 'doesn't give two fucks' attitude it bullshit. He's mad at me. He has every right to be, but he won't admit it. Instead he'll passive aggressively act like nothing is wrong until all his bottled up emotions pop, and he blows up!" Stupid Craig pulled at his hair. Panic played in his eyes.
"When it happens, it'll be bad. Weeks and months of anger towards me and what I did will just come out all at once. He might make a storm so big and so strong it wipes all of Colorado off the map! I can't let that happen, please, understand." He turned back towards Tweek. He was shaking just a little. "I can't. If I can just make him mad enough to blow up now, when it's still fresh, it'll all be ok. Even if he breaks up with me over this, at least I know he'll have gotten everything out."
Tweek pulled his leg back then put his knees to his chest. He felt tired again. Years with Craig had severely limited the amount of bullshit he could take at one time. This whole plan of Stupid Craig's was nothing but shit. Thinking back on what Tweek had observed on Stupid Craig, he had a feeling that his plan was made on the fly, one impulsive thought that just got out of hand.
Stupid Craig was smart, Tweek didn't doubt that. In the span of a few weeks, Stupid Craig had taken over and combined three of the cities gangs into one big security team for himself. He knew exactly which buildings he could get Tweek to and back within the controllers time limit. He knew enough to know much of Tweek's powers relied on the humidity in the air, and made sure the metal crate he kept him in was dry.
Stupid Craig was good at prevention, at avoiding unfortunate outcomes, but execution seemed to be his weak point.
Tweek turned into the corner. "Go away now. I'm tired. I'm going to sleep."
Stupid Craig pursed his lips. He pushed himself up without a word and walked towards the door. He paused a moment, then looked back.
"I'm sorry. This really is the only way."
"Fuck off."
Just as the door opened, Tweek said, "Cigarettes."
Stupid Craig stopped at the door and looked back. "Excuse me?"
Without looking at him, Tweek explained, "Get me a pack or two of cigarettes and a lighter. Non-Menthol. Don't care about the brand or anything else."
Stupid Craig shuffled at the door. For a moment, Tweek expected him to tell him how bad they were for him, as if Tweek wasn't fully aware, but he didn't. Instead Tweek heard him say he would bring them next time he came by before shutting the door.
With the source of his anxiety temporarily gone, Tweek finally let the smallest bit of tense leave his shoulders. He moved to lie down on his side. He hadn't smoked in nearly three years. The last drag he ever took was right before he and Craig moved into together. With someone as supportive and encouraging as Craig around and the stress of his parents off his shoulders, Tweek was able to start to wean himself off them.
A memory of Craig hacking after making an attempt to take a deep drag came to Tweek's mind. He pulled his wrist close to his heart. The passing feeling of Craig pressing his lips to some of his scars fluttered across his skin.
He reached off the side of the mattress and pulled the pillow off the floor. Craig's NASA shirt was torn and stained from one of the first night Tweek had been under Stupid Craig's control. Instead of letting it be taken it away, Tweek converted it into a makeshift pillow case.
Stupid Craig had just given him a sad look before allowing it.
Tweek felt guilt rise up in his stomach. He couldn't remember clearly what exactly happens when he's being controlled, but he knew something happened with his Craig. Several somethings. Stupid Craig ordered him to quickly break his relationships off with Craig and with Freedom Pals. Tweek didn't remember more than a brief image of Craig's shocked and betrayed face staring back at him and a phone call to Doctor Timothy.
All Tweek knew from the first night of destruction were Fastpass and Captain Diabetes had shown up to stop him, he had beaten them both senseless, Craig showed up at some point and despite Tweek's best efforts was also beaten senseless, then there was a flash of purple, and pain. The next thing Tweek knew, he was back in this large empty room, bandages across his body and Stupid Craig trying to shove some sort of healing agent down his throat.
If he shut his eyes, Tweek could imagine Craig sitting back at base, in the medical ward, with Stripe in his lap, listening to Doctor Daniels. If not Doctor Daniels, then Clyde would probably show up to check up on him. Token and Jimmy would show too. Tweek could almost hear the jokes Jimmy would make. They would be horrible, but everyone would laugh regardless. If they stayed late enough, ToolShed would probably have to come in to shoo them all out when he took over for Doctor Daniels.
Then Craig would be alone. Once Stripe fell asleep, Craig would gently put him in his travel cage. Would Craig be able to go to sleep or would he stay up all night worrying? Tweek squeezed the shirt covered pillow tighter to him.
For what seemed like the hundredth time, Tweek prayed when he woke back up, this would all end up being a bad dream.
AN:  Soooo I'm pretty 'eh' about this chapter, mostly the order of things more than any individual parts, but I digress.
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kisathemistress · 7 years
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Some South Park Headcanons I have
(Because I’m falling for the series again!)
The four main characters:
Kyle Broflovski: 
His personality makes it almost impossible for him to let things go, if it means making someone (other than Cartman) upset or sad. He just want as many people as possible to be happy around him, because if they aren’t he feels like he has failed them. 
This comes from his strict upbringing his parents gave him and from studying/knowing everything (including religious various beliefs) thus he lives his life by the golden rule: “Do not do unto others, that you do not want done to you.”
He believes highly in karma as well, especially the Wiccan belief of karma. Where if you do something kind you will be rewarded with 3 times the kindness, but if you do something hurtful you will be punished with 3 times the misfortune.
Despite being Jewish and claiming his pride with the religion, Kyle doesn’t follow any of the practices most Jewish people do. He willingly eats pork and sometimes attends/helps the local Roman Catholic church (but this could be do to the town only having one church and most of his friends go there.)
Unlike Scott, Kyle’s diabetes isn’t as serious and he can get away with eating something with extra sugars in it without going into diabetic shock. Though he does carry emergency insulin just incase.
Kyle is aromantic and bisexual. He doesn’t know how to react to intimacy or pick up clues that someone likes him “in that way”, he just assumes all positive contact with him is platonic in nature. He has to be directly told that someone is in love with him for him to understand why they are being overly nice to him.
Since he is only an 9/10 year old, he isn’t aware full of his own sexuality, thus acts the way he thinks a “normal boy” should behave. Despite constantly giving away that he isn’t “normal” by his own definition.
Also he still has his pet Elephant, but it has been moved to a Zoo for a breeding program. He goes to visit it him occasionally and is a junior Zookeeper at the park. He’s going to be officially hired to work there part-time once he’s in high school.
Stan Marsh:
He still does drink, but not to the extent that his father does nor does he get blackout drunk anymore. He’s cut back a lot thanks to going to AA, but is struggling with the 12 step program do to his father leaving alcohol in his reach, and offering him alcohol. He’s also the kid that pulls drinks for his friends and for parties, as both his father and uncle Jimbo will buy it for him if he asks.
Stan tries his best to be vegetarian but has no problem with eating meat as long as he doesn’t witness the slaughter and preparation of the animal. (Including fish.) Blood makes him squeamish, and he becomes overly emotional when he sees an animal in distress.
Even though Stan is straight, when he’s drunk he’ll sleep with anybody. Drunk Stan also believes Kyle is his boyfriend and will run to him for comfort. This normally confuses Kyle, especially when Stan rejects everything when he is sober. It part of the reason Wendy decided that she is genderfluid and created Wendyl, thinking it will keep Stan from “wandering” away from her.
Stan is very proud of his gay dog Sparky. He willingly takes him to gay pride parades and events, and voices his support for his dog. 
He still owns that poodle he bought, which he found out was a toy poodle.
If his parents didn’t limit Stan to only 2 dogs, he would have a pack of at least 6, that he’d have follow him everywhere. He instantly can become friends with any dog he meets and feels heartbroken when he can’t take them home.
Stan knows different wolf howls and behaviors, he can almost instantly tell you what a wolf or a dog is trying to tell you. If he ever gets lost in the forest around town. he knows how to find the local wolf/coyote pack to keep himself company.
Out of all the boys, Stan would be the first to go feral if they were abandoned by their parents/society.
Kenny McCormick:
Is literally an Elder God, but only is aware of his immortality. He can’t remember what other powers he has or how to activate them. His real father is Cthulhu, and he hates him.
Kenny cares very deeply for his little sister Karen and older brother Kevin. When he has extra money, he will always buy them something nice. Like a new doll for Karen or powdered doughnuts from the convenience store to share with Kevin, because it’s their favorite treat.
Even though he will do nearly anything for money, he draws the line at eating Hot Rods. (Unless of course eating them would bring his family out of poverty or something...)
Kenny is genderfluid and pansexual. Mostly because he doesn’t care who he sleeps with, especially if their is money involved. Also wearing girl clothing occasionally was at first so he could had it down to Karen, but now he’d proudly admits he does like the look and feel of women’s clothing on him.
He has had pet rats, a pet possum, and raccoon. Currently he’s raising a baby flying squirrel he found abandoned in his yard, and nursing a robin who has a broken wing.
He wants to be a veterinarian when he grows up.
Eric Cartman:
Never thinks things through, and always pays for his schemes one way or another.
Still has a horde of stuffies he keeps in his room and sleeps with. Even having tea parties with them, when his “friends” don’t want to play.
Is an asshole towards Kyle, because he has unrequited feelings for him, but doesn’t want Kyle to know. Most of his plans fall through, because he really doesn’t want to hurt or push Kyle away.
Knows that he should watch his weight and eat better, but subconsciously wants to get diabetes from his obesity so he can be just like Kyle and Scott. He hates that they get special attention to their medical problems at school and thus don’t have to participate in certain exercises in gym.
Cartman is sex repulsed, but is secretly gay. He can’t stand the thought of actually having sex with anyone and believes all intimate contact is rape. 
He once broke up Craig and Tweek when he spotted them kissing at Stark’s Pond, then went on a rant of how Craig was taking advantage of his boyfriend, scaring Tweek into thinking he got all of the STDs.
Kyle has force Cartman to clean up “Zaron” all by himself before, after Cartman broke too many rules they came up with after the Stick of Truth was thrown in Stark’s Pond. Although, Cartman made Butters do it for him instead, when Kyle went home.
Four other boys:
Tweek Tweak:
Wasn’t aware his parent’s put meth and other drugs in his coffee to test the blends into being their customers addicted, until Craig discovered what Mr. Tweak was doing. Though Tweek is too scared to report his parents, Craig has used it as a threat to get Tweek expensive things, like videogames and new brand named clothes.
Tweek is a wonderful cook and baker. He wants to change the Tweak Bros. Coffee, into a restaurant kind of like Tim Hortons, where they serve both coffee and homemade food. Though he is too scared to ask his father to put in a proper kitchen in the back of the store, for him to use. Instead he has convinced his mother to sell his famous cupcakes, he bakes at home.
Even without the coffee and drugs, Tweek would still have his twitching tick. It only acts up when he is stressed out. When he is calm, it’s barely noticeable.
Before he bought Stripe #4 for Craig, he was terrified of rodents, after he fell in love with Guinea Pigs and occasionally will discuss proper rodent care with Kenny. 
Though now he fears that Craig might eat Stripe one day, do to Guinea Pigs being a delicacy in Peru and not knowing what happened to the other three Guinea Pigs Craig has had before Stripe #4. That’s why Stripe is kept over at his house on weekends and not a Craig’s 24/7.
Tweek has a parrot named “Coffee Crisp”, because it’s his favorite snack and the first words the parrot learned. His parent’s bought Tweek Coffee Crisp, to help keep his paranoia in check. 
Coffee Crisp will repeat goverment conspiracy theories do to that fact Tweek listens to them on the radio in his room at night. Coffee Crisp also knows the name of over 150 different types of coffee related products.
Craig gave Tweek a hand knitted Chullo and shall that matched his own, but in green, for his birthday. Tweek is afraid he will ruin them if he wears them, so he only wore the outfit for a day before permanently hanging it up in his closet.
Tweek was questioning his sexuality, but has always been gay. He was just too paranoid about other things to focus long enough to realize this.
Craig Tucker:
Although he behaves like he doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything, he cares deeply on the inside for his friends. He believes showing emotion is weakness and prefers to internalize everything.
He has broken down in front of only two people ever in his life. The first being Clyde after Strip #2 had died, and the second being Tweek.
Craig is aware he is adopted and his native homeland is in Peru. He’s half white and half Peruvian native, and was sent to the US for adoption after people started trying to worship him as the Guinea God.
He’s also aware that he is a god and has god-like abilities. He just doesn’t like to use them and prefers to live a “normal” mortal life. He is aware of Kenny being an Elder God and his immortality. He’s willing to teach Kenny how to be responsible with his powers if he ever find out how to use them.
Craig has eaten Cavy and knows how to make traditional Peruvian dishes that use it, do to being a deity in his homeland. He likes it on occasion, but would never eat a Guinea Pig that he intends to keep as a pet and has buried his previous Guinea Pigs in the back garden of his home. He even had little funerals for them where his friends attended.
Craig likes to knit and will spend hours in his room listening to music and knitting. He hides this from his dad, because it’s not a “manly” hobby. Though every christmas he gives his family handmade sweaters, scarves, mittens, and socks, as gifts.
He doesn’t like coffee like Tweek, but his favorite drink is French Vanilla Cappuccinos. Which he has with whipped cream added, do to his sweet tooth.
Craig can’t dance, but tries to at parties and has fun regardless at his failed attempts. It makes Tweek laugh anyway.
Finally like Tweek’s twitching, flipping people off is a tick Craig had developed. Do to internalizing all of his thoughts and feelings, he automatically flips the bird when he feels upset or angry over someone or thing.
Clyde Donovan
Is just as pervy as Kenny, but is straight. 
He has problems with over expressing his emotions and is always crying about something. He uses Craig as his emotional support constantly, and sometimes will sit eating ice cream and watching romance movies alone.
He is embarrassed by his colostomy bag and only his friends (and Mr. Macky) know about it. He has one do to surviving rectal cancer when he was five.
He wants to own his own mexican themed restaurant when he is older or a Taco Bell. He was very disappointed when the government canceled building a giant Taco Bell during the events of the Stick of Truth.
His favorite Raisins girl is Lexus and always request her to be his host when he eats there. He wants to ask her out, but is too scared she will reject him.
When the kids play “The Kingdom of Zaron” now, Clyde remains as a separate third faction and the main “antagonist” of the game, when the humans and elves aren’t fighting each other. He rules over all the kids that want to be “monsters” or non-human or non-elf. Humans and elves can join his side if they proved to be “evil” enough.
Clyde has worn women's clothing for fun before. He likes flowy skirts and dresses. He wants to go to prom one day in a dress and maybe convince his future wife to let him wear the bride’s gown to their wedding.
Whenever he hears that Tweek is having a “backing meltdown” he gets excited, since Tweek makes too much and usually shares by giving him three boxes of baking. He hides this from his dad who want him to be careful of his weight.
Token Black:
Likes to buy expensive things for Nicole and his friends. He has no idea the value of money and genuinely gets confused when his friend say they or their parents can’t afford something.
Kenny McCormick creeps him out, and he thinks his family just chooses to live in a garbage dump. Though he does get along with Karen McCormick and had bought her lunch a few times, since he thinks it’s cruel for her parents to not give her money or food for school.
He is the second person Clyde will run to when he is upset, though unlike Craig, he dosen’t really know how to react or comfort Clyde. He normally just stands there with Clyde crying in his shoulder, awkwardly patting his back saying “there, there...” until Clyde feels better.
Contrary to belief (and Cartman) Token doesn’t like listening to Beyonce or hip hop type music. He actually likes listening to old folk music and polkas. 
Weird Al Yankovic is his favorite entertainer and “Just Eat it” is his favorite song by him.
Token sometimes says racist things against his white friends by accident. After which he profusely apologizes if he catches himself or someone calls him out on it.
He rather play chess than play football or basketball.
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tizzybella12 · 5 years
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The Heaviest Heart on KQ 782/311 💓💓
It's 23:00 in Dubai on the 16 April. I've just checked in and my flight boards at 01:20. KQ 311 is a direct flight from Dubai to Nairobi (Kenya). And then I hop over to KQ 782, a Kenyan Airways flight from Nairobi to Cape Town, South Africa. I feel like I've waited my whole life to get on this flight. I just want to leave already. This day has been a TMI day. Too much information..I never thought my last two weeks let alone my last day in Dubai would end this way. But it has and as much as I want to fall apart, i can't. I need to be strong and I have to go home in one piece. I have interviews in two days and a life that must go on. So let me take you back to four months ago.....
There I was at 05:00 at Dubai International Airport. I had just made the biggest mistake of my life, and I didn't even know it.
This has been one of the most challenging four months of my life. Emotionally and Mentally. I'm exhausted. I haven't slept, eaten and lived my life properly in the longest time. When I landed in DXB on the 07th of December I told myself it was too late to turn back now. I had to be strong. I knew something didn't feel right about this job but I went against my gut and I followed through. I knew it would be hard and I would miss home and my friends. I was prepared for that. I was not prepared for what was about to come my way though...nothing could ever prepare me for the lies and unhappiness that followed. Both at work and my personal life.
Firstly if you are moving to a new country for work. Find out exactly what your job entails and exactly what you will be doing. The middle east is very fond of changing or tweeking "job titles". A butler is just a fancy word for buggy driver etc... A guest relations executive is a fancy word for a glorified waitress. That was my first mistake. I didn't bother researching my job. I was so engrossed and excited about moving to a new country that nothing else mattered.
The weeks that followed were torture, I just couldn't find my feet. I didn't understand the work operation. I didn't understand what my role was and I didn't want to in all honesty. I thought time would help. Keep in mind I was doing a job I had zero experience in. Oh yes, this is very common in the UAE. We will hire you regardless of your experience is their go to slogan. By now, two months had gone by and I still wasn't performing. I spoke to my manager about my issues, i wasn't coping and emotionally I was losing it. My mental health was starting to deteriorate rapidly. There was a sense of well "We all go through it". And we can't do anything to help you kind of attitude.
I had to think fast if I wanted to get out of this, so I did. I needed to take drastic measures. One week later I had successfully resigned. I was serving my notice and I would be going home in a few weeks. I did have second thoughts, but I had made a decision and I had to stand by it. ✌ As time went on I felt like a huge weight was taken off my shoulders. I was finally free. I was excited about going home. 😀🙏 I did what I had to do to be happy and I will always put my health first.
And then there was my "barely there" personal life...
This next part, I'm not really sure how to start. I was blindsided this time. I always thought South African guys were assholes, but wow you should travel more. 😂😟 They get more "assholier" north of the continent. I won't go into too much detail here. I guess I'm still trying to process it all. Guys are sneaky bastards (like leaving out the fact they are getting engaged and married soon). They tell you what you want to hear and they know how to manipulate their lies to their own selfish benefit. The bottom line is never take what they are telling you at face value and always look out for the red flags. They're always there we just choose to ignore them. I guess fantasy is better than reality sometimes.
Here's the thing, always use your instincts and your truth as your compass to navigate you through relationships. Whether it's friendships, platonic, romantic, etc. Never discredit your gut.
Below I've included some tips for how to weed out a "two timer much like the one I encountered in Dubai 😡:"
He's always on his phone when you're around:
Here's the truth, he's not texting his bff or his mum ladies. If you're around he shouldn't be texting at all. This is disrespectful and also a sign that he's not really that interested in you. If his phone seems more appealing perhaps he should have stayed home and you should be out with someone else who will respect your time and effort.
  2. He doesn't pay attention when you talk to him:
He never listens to you, or he seems distracted when you have a conversation with him. Or try to. He brushes you off. Or he says things like "you already told me that". Ugggh who wants to be around someone who doesn't pay attention to them. ✌Also it's not easy for someone with a double life to pay attention to so many woman!
3. The wondering eye:
This is an obvious one. Girls if he takes you to a bar and starts telling you he's hooked up with half the bar, run! He's doing it to seem cool but that's not a good reflection of him. And chances are, he has hooked up with all of them!
4. He starts being distant:
When a guy starts being distant he's trying to get rid of you to make room for a new person. It's really that simple..don't make excuses and try to give him the benefit of the doubt. Guys get bored after the chase is over, it's not your fault. He has his own issues.
5. He hides you from his friends and refers to his ex as crazy:
If you have never met his friends, there's a problem. He's hiding you and you deserve to be shown off to the world girl!
If he tells you that his ex is or was crazy there's a problem. Why was she crazy? What made her so crazy?? Guys say this when they have done something wrong in the relationship and aren't ready to take ownership for their fault in it. Watch out for this line.
As woman we tend to be naive, but you pick up on patterns and you need to remember these in every relationship you get into. Don't be hard on yourself, men are great at the game of deception and take great pleasure in making us feel bad about it.
As for me, I'm adjusting to being home for now and spending my time with people who are positive and who contribute good vibes to my life. I've made God and prayer the centre of my life, not just in the tough times but the good to. I'm committed to having a good life moving forward. One with balance. Thank you to everyone who supported me and sent me good wishes when I was going through a tough time abroad. I'm home now and my heart is happy again. ❤🙏
They say.....Time Heals All..but the scars remain to show us how far we have come.
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falloutjay · 3 years
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Could I pretty please have the boys with a reader who’s straight up a bad person , manipulative,greedy , selfish etc? But then they realize that the reader is extremely misunderstood?
I am kinda not happy with how it turned out, so I am really hoping that it is still to your liking.
I honestly find your request so interesting, so thank you a lot! ( ͡❛ ᴗ ͡❛)
______________________
the boys x bad person!misunderstood!Reader
Cartman:
Cartman is 100% the person who spreads rumors about you.
He will be a little bitch, tease you, bully you a little, see what your made of.
Once he catches you in a moment of weakness, he’s quick to realize that maybe you aren’t all that bad.
Cartman is a good listener, listening to why you behave the way you do.
He will just sit next to you on the floor, look around and listen.
Once you’re done talking, he will think about what he could do to help you, like telling everyone who still gossips about you to shut up.
Everyone will just see you as those two mean/bad people, when in reality you two fit so well together since you can talk about anything in a really healthy way. Cartman gets you like no one else does.
Stan:
Stan isn’t a gossiper, nor does he listen to any.
Listening to Cartman talking shit about you gave him somewhat of an impression of you, but Stan knows better than to solely build an opinion on that.
So, when an opportunity arrives to get to know you a little more, like randomly meeting you at the mall, a group project or something alike, he will chat with you, checking out how you really are.
Struggling with depression himself, Stan is an expert at looking behind a façade, so he quickly learns that you’re not all that bad as the rumors make you seem.
After getting to know the real you, he will actively shut anyone down who wants to gossip about you.
Kyle:
I feel like Kyle is the type of person to hear about you, form an opinion and then go off from that.
So he really doesn’t think highly of you, since he sees himself as kind of a goody two-shoes and you like another bad kid at school.
Especially after hearing how manipulative, you are, Kyle vows to just stay away.
Once forced to socialize Kyle will maybe act a bit high and mighty before actually getting to know you and feel bad for having acted so poorly.
Kyle will get really annoyed with himself, having been so biased and will from there on not participate in any gossip.
He will apologize to you, even if you maybe don’t know why he does so.
Kenny:
Kenny knows what it’s like to be gossiped about.
He really tries to not be biased by it. And yet, when he overheard some of your conversations, in which you were clearly being a horrible person, he kinda just says “Fuck it.” And decides you're bad.
That changes when he catches you in a vulnerable moment.
He will offer you one of his cigarettes and smoke with you. He will ask if you want to talk about anything and is fine with whatever you decide.
Kenny is a people person, so he knows you’re not all that bad, and laughs about how fast he formed an opinion about you.
You two kinda like sitting in silence, sharing cigarettes sometimes and you two know that some students will probably make up some scandalous story about you two misfits.
Butters:
Believes every rumor about you.
You killed your parents in cold blood to get your inheritance for a PlayStation 5? Seems plausible to him.
So, he is super scared of you when you two get grouped up for a project.
He’s so scared of visiting you at your place to work together, fearing he will die when he rings your doorbell, but he is pleasantly surprised when you let him in and there is no crack den or corpses.
In your room, Butter will not focus on work, but rather see what you like. You got any posters from a show or band you like? Merch? Videogames? He will ask about it and strike up a conversation.
Once you two get a nice conversation on, you two quickly get close and enjoy each other’s company.
People at school think Butters is crazy for hanging out with someone like you, like you’re gonna corrupt his innocence or some other bullshit.
Clyde:
He has no idea that you’re perceived as a bad person, until someone straight up tells him, or he witnesses you doing something bad.
He would feel conflicted, even when he doesn’t know why and would be invested in finding out why you do the things you do.
Once he gets that you’re just misunderstood, his big heart can’t help but try to get you to better yourself.
He will really try to get you involved with his friends and basically tries to put you in a good light.
To him its odd that you don’t really want him to do that, but you appreciate the effort, smiling lazily most of the time
Clyde is a sweetheart much like Butters and really wants to help you get a new image around school
Token:
Like most people who don’t participate in the gossip factory he had no real idea who you are until you were grouped for a project.
He invites you over to his house to finish the work and once there he quickly catches onto your plan.
Your plan? Making him do all the work by little tricks.
Token is not stupid though, so he likes teasing you back.
You tell him you can do that task because you don’t understand it, so he must do it? He will teach you.
He quickly sees behind your façade and offers you help in any shape or form that you need, but it is up to you if you take him up on this offer.
Craig:
Craig can come off as super rude to some people when they first meet him, so he suspects that maybe there is more to you than what people see and witness.
But he is also someone who doesn’t wanna get involved in other people’s business anymore after the Peru Incident, so he won’t go out of his way to interact with you. He will only tell people close to him to just not judge you without knowing you.
Once you both land in detention together you actually talk.
He tells you about himself, you do the same and soon enough a friendship forms from that.
He gets why you behave out of the ordinary but tells you to be careful with it before you burn bridges. Craig cares about you but is super bad at admitting it.
Tweek:
He has no idea who you are.
Tweek doesn’t participate in gossip and doesn’t care all that much about other students, so he never heard about the things you do.
One day, when you go to get coffee at his parents’ shop, you two get talking and you are confused that he has no idea who you are.
Once Tweek mentions your name to his friends, they tell him who you are, and he is really surprised.
To him you’re that nice person who sometimes comes around to order coffee.
So, during your next visit, he questions why you do those things and you hesitantly tell him.
He actively listens and would really like to help you, so he offers you to help you however you want.
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samingtonwilson · 7 years
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Which of the Devils is it? - Jim Kirk, Leonard McCoy
Pairing: jim kirk x reader, bones x reader. yes, that’s right. it’s both
Prompt: Hi can I ask one where both Bones and Jim are in love with reader (and they get a little fighty about it) and she decides to leave the team because she cant decide, neither break their friendship?! - anonymous
Word count: 2,460 (how tf)
Warnings: language, idiocy
A/N: ok well this is the most ridiculous thing i’ve ever written in my life and im scared the writing itself isn’t that great. but it’s funny. and i changed some parts of it. i didn’t want reader to leave the team because of two guys-- reader is too strong and too independent to do that. i also added sulu because i love my beautiful tiny son. anyways, it’s a story about datin’ the two hottest men in the universe so i had a field day with it. hope you like it, anon. ENJOY AND LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!
You were seated in the mess hall with a plate of untouched food before you— it didn’t smell, look, or historically taste remotely appetizing. Your chin sat atop your hand that was propped up by your elbow against the table, your head tilted as you narrowed your eyes at a talking Sulu.
You watched his mouth as he spoke but couldn’t make out any of the words. Last you were able to perceive, he was telling you about his daughter’s refusal to attend fencing classes— he was obviously dissatisfied that his child wouldn’t carry on his thin sword wielding legacy. You told him the obvious thing— that she was basically a toddler and her current disinterest didn’t mean there would be a permanent disinterest.
Now, though, you had next to no idea what he was telling you. It wasn’t that you didn’t find your closest friend aboard the Enterprise interesting. It was more a result of sleep deprivation, which was a result of stress, which was a result of essentially adolescent boy problems— it was the least fun game of dominos ever.
“You know, I can tell you aren’t listening,” Sulu told you with his most common frown— flat lips only subtly turned down at the edge and almond shaped eyes narrowed in irritation. “Your eyes glaze over and I’m pretty sure you’re drooling.”
You dragged the back of your hand over your lips and sat up straight. You shook your head to yourself. “Sorry, Hikaru. I had a long night.”
“What, is the stress of having two beautiful men fawn over you taking a toll?”
You couldn’t help your snorted laughter. “They’re not fawning over me. If they were, I would definitely take more advantage of this situation.”
He raised a dark eyebrow, swallowing his bite of chicken before asking, “Yeah? How would you do that?”
“Unnecessary sick leave and whiskey from Len and a new mattress from Kirk.” You shrugged when he tilted his head questioningly. “I think my mattress is made of rocks— and not the smooth kind.”
“He’s the captain, not the quartermaster.” There was a smile over Sulu’s lips and a laugh in his voice.
“Yeah, but the quartermaster wants me dead because I complain too much and Kirk can get whatever he wants.”
“Sound logic,” he chuckled, shaking his head once. He craned his neck and straightened his back then, his grin growing enough to crease his otherwise ageless skin. “Speak of the devil.”
“Oh, God. Which devil is it?”
“This is a coincidence, sir,” he said as he looked behind you, smiling politely and a little knowingly. “(Y/N) and I were just talking about you.”
You widened your eyes and grimaced at Sulu. You kicked at his shin under the table— he hissed in reaction.
You’d opened your mouth to speak but shut it the moment Kirk fell into the seat beside you, the warmth rolling off his body almost too tempting. “I trust it was something good.”
“I was calling you the devil,” you told him, offering him a close-lipped smile and wrinkling your nose.
That only made his bright blue eyes sparkle more. “Calling me the devil, forgetting we were supposed to meet for a date ten minutes ago— the way you express your love for me is nothing short of endearing.”
“Is everyone subject to your confidence, or am I special?”
Sulu looked between you two with a smile over his lips that you could only describe as irritating. He looked oddly satisfied, too— arms crossed over his chest, slouched posture as he sat back, food totally forgotten.
He wasn’t the only one amused by your situation— your personal life had become a ship-wide source of entertainment. You weren’t intending on that— just as you weren’t intending on it driving such a powerful wedge between the two men in question.
You were assured by Kirk and Leonard that this circumstance, precisely, wouldn’t occur. You were promised their friendship would remain unscathed by your dating them both.
It wasn’t as if dating them both was your bright idea. As much as you’d fantasized about just that, it was their idea. They’d both supposedly taken a liking to you and wanted it to be your decision. While enlightened and less objectifying than choosing amongst themselves who dated you, it was a lot of added pressure— especially given the similar levels at which you liked them both.
Kirk hummed out a sigh and mirrored your posture by placing his chin atop his hand, looking right at you. “Everyone’s subject but you are special, starlight— thought we covered that last night.”
“What happened last night?” Sulu asked with that same smile over his lips, raising both his eyebrows. He looked between the two of you again and sighed heavily when neither of you answered. “If you don’t tell me now, I’ll just hear about it later.”
“How’s that?” Kirk asked, finally looking away from you.
It was your turn to ask a question. “You haven’t heard anything that’s going around?”
“No one lets me in on any rumors— they shut up as soon as I walk into a room,” he shrugged. “A downfall of being captain. Everyone treats you differently, looks at you like you’re so far above—”
“Do you mind if I eat while you tell us the saddest story in the galaxy?” you mumbled, taking a bite of your apple. “I really feel for you, Captain. Respect is such a cross to bear.”
He bumped his shoulder against yours and laughed through his nose. He took the apple from your hand and the sound that came as a result of his large bite was borderline obnoxious. “There’s rumors going around about us?”
“We’ve got a pool going, actually,” Sulu added. He shrugged when Kirk met his gaze. “For who (Y/N) will pick.”
When Kirk scowled at a level you thought only Leonard could reach, Sulu held his hands up in innocence. “Wasn’t my idea. But you should be happy to know that majority of the crew that’s in on it bet on you.”
You thought you saw a smirk pull at the captain’s lips as he spoke. “Who’ve you got your money on?”
Sulu looked almost offended that Kirk would ask. “You, of course, sir.”
“Good man.”
“Ass kisser,” you corrected. You swiveled your body in your seat to face Kirk, outstretching your legs so they were placed upon his lap. His warm hands immediately found your ankles and you had to force yourself to stifle a sigh of contentment. “I thought you weren’t going to make this a competition.”
He shrugged. “I like winning.”
“I’m not a prize, Kirk.”
He smiled at you then— in that way that made your decision even harder.
He took one of his hands from your ankles and reached to tuck your hair behind your ear, his fingers tracing your jaw. “I know. I just really hope you pick me.”
You felt yourself begin to lean into his palm but the loud clearing of Sulu’s throat broke you from the blue-eyed trance. You looked to him and nodded upwards. “What?”
Sulu’s eyes were following something behind you, the amusement in his smile almost bursting. “The doctor’s on his way.”
“Bones knows we have a date,” Kirk said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “He wouldn’t inter—”
“(Y/N).” You could’ve drawn blood from how hard you were biting your tongue. His gravely voice sent soft sparks up your spine. “You look beautiful today, sweetheart.”
You looked up and smiled a little. “Hi, Len.”
He returned your smile easily, the action causing crow’s feet to appear at the corner of his deep hazel eyes. The sleeves of his blue uniform tunic were rolled to his elbows, one of his hands in the pocket of his trousers while the other held a mug of coffee.
When he took in your legs atop Kirk’s lap, you immediately turned in your seat and set your feet flat on the floor. “A little late to be drinking coffee, isn’t it?”
He clicked his tongue and took the seat beside Sulu. He placed his mug onto the table and pointedly kept his gaze away from Kirk’s glare, sliding the green porcelain towards you. “It’s for you, actually. I know you’ve got a late night finishin’ that report for Mr. Scott.”
You took the mug gratefully and inhaled the delicious scent deeply. “That was so sweet of you to remember.”
“S’got that hazelnut creamer you were tellin’ me about at breakfast,” Leonard was almost taunting Kirk when he let himself glance at his friend, quirking a single eyebrow and smirking slightly. “Had a red shirt tweek my replicator to synthesize the stuff.”
You smiled down at the caramel colored coffee before bringing it to your lips. “How’d you manage that?”
He watched as you took a long sip and shrugged. “Let’s just say I owe ‘em a bottle of bourbon.”
“You sacrificed a bottle of bourbon for me?” you asked with a broad smile. You tilted your head. “What would your Southern ancestors say?”
“That there’s no shame in losin’ a bit of liquor for someone so worthy of it.”
“Smooth,” Sulu commented, nodding and frowning appreciatively.
“You are an ass kisser,” Kirk muttered, the frown obvious in his voice.
You looked between Kirk and Leonard as they frowned at one another and pushed out of your seat. Your hands were full with your tray and mug. “I think that’s my cue to go. I should get to work.”
Kirk stood up quickly, taking the tray from your hand and setting it in the same stack as the others. He placed his palm on the small of your back with his fingers splayed. “I’ll walk you down.”
“It’s all right, Jim. I can make it there on my—”
“Yeah, Jimbo,” Leonard interjected, standing up as well. He was still smirking. “I’ll take you down to engineering, sweetheart. S’on my way.”
You narrowed your eyes. “On your way to where—”
“Why don’t you both go?” Sulu said in a voice louder and more gleeful than you’d ever heard from the yellow-shirted pilot. “You’re off-duty as it is.”
“Thank you for the suggestion, Hikaru, but—”
Your protesting was of no use.
As you walked down the corridor with the ship’s captain and CMO, you did your best to keep your steps graceful and not as clumsy as they usually were. You also did your best to regulate your breaths and your heartbeat— obviously to no avail.
You stood between them in the turbolift, clasping your hands around the coffee cup so tightly that your knuckles turned a ghostly white. You bit down your bottom lip. “Thank you for coming with me. Both of you.”
“S’not a problem, darlin’,” was said by Leonard at the same time Kirk stated, “No big deal.”
You took turns looking at both over each of your shoulders, just nodding in response. You couldn’t figure out what to say next— you didn’t think you could say anything next. You just brought the mug to your lips and polished off the remainder of coffee.
“You know, invading our date was a low-blow.”
Your teeth clamped down on your tongue again.
“You were havin’ your date in the damn commissary with Mr. Sulu two inches away? Romantic.”
“It wasn’t supposed to be in the commissary. (Y/N) forgot—”
“Forgot, eh?” there was a laugh in his voice. “Not a blameable offense, if you ask me.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t ask you.”
You cleared your throat. “Guys, —”
“Don’t need your permission to express my opinion.”
“My ship, Bones. You need my permission to do anything.”
You were counting the seconds until the lift door slid open. You took three short steps out and turned around when you felt the heat of their angry bodies just centimeters behind you.
You looked up at them with narrowed eyes as they stared at each other. Icy blue eyes glared at mossy hazel eyes, and mossy hazel eyes glared at icy blue eyes.
You cleared your throat again to gain their attention. You thrust the mug in your hands towards Leonard’s chest. “Thank you for the coffee.” You looked at Kirk next. “And thank you for keeping me company at dinner— I’m sorry I forgot our date.”
“Don’t apologize—”
“Yeah, darlin’, don’t apologize for forgettin’ somethin’ so forgettable—”
You inhaled a bit sharply through your teeth. “Guys, —”
“I was in the middle of my sentence. You can’t let me get a sentence out without your insecurity shutting me up?”
“S’not my fault you talk so slowly for dramatic effect. Cut the theatrics sometimes, eh, Jimbo?”
“Why do you keep calling me ‘Jimbo’? Since when do you do that?”
“Guys!” you finally shouted, your hands forming fists at your sides. You stared up at the two towers of idiocy before you with gritted teeth. “What the fuck are you two doing?”
They both opened their mouths and you shook your head. “Shut up. Both of you. What happened to not turning this into a competition? What happened to letting me pick based on who I like? What happened to not letting this come between your friendship?”
They exchanged looks of disgust that lasted far too long.  
“Now you’re not even looking at me! You’re too busy looking at each other!” You almost growled. “I’ve been shaving every fucking day, I’ve been putting makeup on, I’ve been wearing sexy underwear that rides up when I’m doing my job. I’m working my ass off and you two are staring at each other!”
“(Y/N), —”
“Shut the fuck up, Jim,” you said before you could help yourself.
You shook your head a moment later. “I mean, with all due respect. With all due respect, shut the fuck up. I don’t want this! I never wanted this! I wanted to go on some nice dates, eat some good food, get to know two nice guys, make the five fucking years I’m going to spend on this God forsaken ship go by faster, maybe have some good sex. I didn’t want to tear a friendship apart! I didn’t want to be treated like a goddamn prize!”
“Sweetheart, —”
“Keep your ‘sweethearts,’ Len. There’s no justification.”
You sighed when a few beats of silence passed over the three of you and placed a hand against either of their chests. “I like you both. But I can’t pick. And if I have to watch this continue, if I have live with coming between two friends, I don’t want to pick.”
“So you’re dumping both of us?” Kirk asked, glancing at your hand on his chest. “Didn’t see that coming.”
“You were too busy staring at Leonard to see it coming.”
no idea who i’m supposed to tag in everything. whoopsies.
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abalonetea · 7 years
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token ♦ ☾ ☆ ■ ♡ ☮
☾ - sleep headcanon   Token has a really hard time sleeping if the room is quiet. Like, he needs some sort of sound or it’s almost impossible to get to sleep, and he ends up being really restless – tosses and turns all night long. Has a white noise machine that he keeps in his bedroom but only turns it on if it’s Jimmy and Timmy sleeping over. Sometimes, if Clyde is there, he’ll turn music on really low?   Once he’s been dating someone for a while, Token might be convinced to turn it on while his partner is spending the night, too.   Also, he sleeps with a weighted blanket. If he spends the night somewhere, Token just brings it with him. It’s a security thing, because even though he knows that it doesn’t make a difference, Token feels like it helps weigh him down at night, and like it might maybe help with problems. And now it’s just one of those things that he literally can’t get to sleep at night if there’s not something heavy on him.
☆ - happy headcanon   Whenever Timmy or Jimmy need work done around the house, Token and Clyde go over to help. They usually make it into a big weekend thing, where they order pizza and Chinese take out and have messy, colorful mixed drinks because those are Timmy’s favorites, and cheap beer, because that’s Clyde’s favorite, and they listen to Jimmy’s comedy CD collection.   Also, Token’s best friend is Jimmy and the two hang out together All The Time. It’s great because while, yeah, sometimes they do stuff? But mostly they just sit around Token’s house and watch movies or YouTube videos and it’s always just so Nice because Token feels like he can genuinely relax around Jimmy.
■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon   Whenever Token has a party, he locks the door to his bedroom and to his mother’s study. He rarely ever has people in his room outside of his Close Friends Group (timmy, jimmy, and clyde) and sort of considers it one of his own little safe spaces. Has a closet filled with pastel clothing that he never wears but really loves, always has pillow forts and blanket forts set up either on the floor or on his bed, and never brings his homework or school books into the room.   Also, the kitchen/living room has this sort of open floor plan? Where like, there’s a half wall/counter thing dividing them but you can see from one room to the next. The kitchen has an island in the middle with bar stools set up around it and a big double stainless steel sink. It’s the biggest lived in house that South Park has; most of the others, like the manors, sit empty and are just used for smoke spots and stuff like that.
♡ - romantic headcanon   Token doesn’t have his first kiss until he’s sixteen, which happens to also be the first time that he starts dating someone. He’s a very good boyfriend and cares for his partner a lot, but sometimes goes over board when it comes to buying gifts. It’s just that material affection is what Token is most familiar with so, while he really likes holding hands and cuddling, it’s a lot easier for him to just buy something for his partner.
☮ - friendship headcanon   Token actually really enjoys talking to Craig and Tweek, but he’s kind of drifted from them over the years. Part of it is that he had a hard time keeping up with the conversations he had with Tweek, and part of it is that he figured they already had enough on their plates, and why would they want to hang out with someone like him? It happened around middle school, which was a ridiculously tough time for Token.   Craig and Tweek just aren’t persistent enough about being friends, unlike Clyde who basically refuses/is oblivious to things like that.   Where Craig and Tweek just continued on doing their own thing, Clyde was very insistent that he and Token still hang out. Does Token want to see a movie this weekend? Is it cool if Clyde spends the night after the party on Friday? Does Token want some help cleaning up all the stuff left over from said party? Clyde has to go to the doctor’s this weekend, but Token should totally spend the night NEXT weekend!   And eventually, though Token still has moments of doubts (he has very low self esteem, if we’re being honest) he just kind of accepted the fact that, yeah, he and Clyde are actually friends, and that’s actually really awesome. Sometimes now, Token will even invite Clyde over instead of the other way around, and he’s always happy to give Clyde a lift somewhere if Clyde’s having car troubles or is low on gas money.
♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon   Token can tell you anything that you want to know about animals, period. He loves them. He loves animals and he loves nature, and he loves lions the most. Knows a lot of really weird animal facts and loves to talk about them. Never take this child to the zoo unless you want to spend the entire day looking at lions and hearing random facts about lions that no human should ever know, because the fuck are you going to do with that knowledge, Token? Why the fuck is that something you can remember but you don’t remember to put your jacket on before going outside?
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milkmateartist · 8 years
Text
I’m bored at work so I’m just going to answer some random questions. 
1. Who inspires you? Who do you aspire to be like?
I want to be someone who people go to and feel open to be around. Someone whose so positive that they just lighten up peoples day. I usually get inspired by listening to motivational rock or just realizing I’m alive and there’s a lot to be happy for. Hello I’m an INFP lol. 
2. What was the last book you read without skipping through anything?
I don’t really read books I like fanfiction though. Probably xSecondChancex Craig and Tweek fanfiction. So good. 
3. What is the weirdest scar you have and how did you get it?
I have a pet leech to whomever reads this I’ll give you some good reasons as to why I don’t have a fish or a cat or something that is hard to handle at college. And yeah it kind of bit me and left a nice scar on my arm. 
4. What is the most random thing you’ve ever watched all the way through on Netflix?
Some weird German Prison documentary or something I think. 
5. If you could trade lives with one person for an entire day who would it be and why?
Someone who is struggling so maybe I can feel their pain and better myself form it if it’s only one day (and I survive hopefully). 
6. Do you believe in ghosts?
Not ghosts, but some kind of universal life energy. 
7. Shark diving, bungee jumping, or sky diving?
Bungee probably. I feel like it’s the closest thing to flying that doesn’t involve nothing but going down and being unable to imagine myself going back up.  
8. Which would be harder for you to give up: coffee or alcohol?
I’ll give up coffee because I don’t like coffee too much. Caffeine doesn’t seem to do anything to me but make me sleepy. 
9. How did you meet your best friend?
I don’t know if I have a best friend right now ;\ I have friends but I guess I can’t really say that one is my... ‘best’ friend? 
10. Do you have a sweet tooth or a savory tooth?
Savory tooth. Love steak and KFC. 
11. What is something you’ve always wanted to try but have been too scared to?
First thing that comes to mind is exploring my gender identity and sexuality lol I do a lot of stuff on impulse that I might be scared to do, so nothing huge really comes to mind. 
12. What accomplishments are you most proud of?
Making a dating sim, going to Japan in the summer because I got selected to go abroad of like 5 people, and being a core of my friend group, and I guess being able to open up or talk to almost anyone. 
13. If you were going to go to the movies alone, what would be the perfect film for you to watch by yourself?
I don’t watch movies too much and if I do I usually always go with someone else. So I have no clue :\ Something I would be embarrassed to go with someone else to. 
14. What is your favorite Wikipedia article? (Shuddup. Everyone has one.)
Something on deep sea creatures or prehistoric sea monsters
15. What is your favorite physical attribute about yourself?
My hair probably. Long and black, as its been since I was in middle school.
16. What is one of the weirdest things you used to do as a teenager?
Dear jesus I can’t nearly express all of my quirks in words. Let’s just say teenager me was pretty much a 13-year-old-boy-neckbeard gamer who had a hard on for Jesus and biting her friends shoulders because Vampire Knight gave her a vampire fetish. 
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newstanmarshblog · 4 years
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The Average and Unusual Couple: Chapter Three
   Today is the day that Lydia starts her first day at South Park middle school, and she feels a little nervous on how she’ll get along with the students there. Early in the morning before leaving, she and Beetlejuice had one quick conversation on how he wanted to join her during her first day. But Lydia had said that she wanted to experience the first day by herself to see if she’ll be alright on her own moving forward before making a decision if she’ll allowed her ghostly best friend to join her or not. Even though Beetlejuice hated on not able to join her at school for the time being, he is at least excited to hang out with her while exploring South Park as he and Lydia discussed about it last Saturday weekend.
   Before entering into the school, she takes a deep breath.
   Lydia: Alright, here goes nothing.
   As Lydia walks in, not far from behind, Stan and his friends were starting to make their way to the school building.
   Cartman angry: This is so fucking ridiculous. I should be at home right now getting myself some extra sleep.
   Stan: Come on, Cartman. Don’t get too upset about it. The school did promise on an optional lunch choice menu between Turkey Sub Sandwich and Sloppy Joe.
   Cartman: Oh yeah, I’ve forgotten about that.
   Kenny: I can’t wait to taste their Sloppy Joes again for the first time since our last day being over here.
   Kyle: Not me, I’m going for the Turkey Sub Sandwich. What about you, Stan?
   Stan: I’m going for the sandwich too, along with their fruit bowl.
   After placing their backpacks into their lockers, they walk their way to their classroom. Walking into the classroom, Stan and his friends do see a lot of recognizable faces such as Butters, Clyde, Jimmy, Craig, Tweek, Token, Timmy, Wendy, and Bebe.
   Butters: Hey, fellas! How’s it going?
   Stan: Well, Cartman here isn’t too happy on being back for now, but the rest of us are pretty happy to be here again.
   Butters: Yeah, I’m pretty happy to see things finally back to normal. I haven’t especially seen your face in person ever since the lockdown began, Stan. Are things going okay with you?
   Stan: Well, I still live in that farm, and I’ve recently learned that my old house got sold by a new family. It’s pretty hard, but I’m trying to get better as the days go by.
   Butters: I’m very sorry to hear about your house, Stan. I only hope that someday there’ll be a way for you to come back into our neighborhood.
   Stan smiling: Thanks, Butters. That means a lot to me.
   As the students were talking to each other, the last one makes her entrance into the classroom. It was Lydia. She takes her seat at a desk that sits close to the door. So far, nobody has noticed her as she takes a quick look at them.
   Lydia in her thought: They all look very friendly people. 
   Cartman: So Craig, have you and Tweek made out with each other during the lockdown?
   Craig annoyed: The fuck, fatty?
   Cartman: May I suggest that you two to find a mistletoe in order to get it started? *laughs hysterically*
   Lydia in her thought: Hmm, maybe expect for the fat one.
   The teacher finally makes his appearance into the classroom. It was Mr. Slave.
   Mr. Slave: Okay, students. Take your seats.
   The students take their seats.
   Mr. Slave: First off, I’m so very grateful to see all of your precious faces back here for the first time in over a year. Things had indeed been very tough for all of us, and I know our memories are still very fresh on the recently events that unfortunately happened in this town. But I’m overall happy to be with you guys again, and I can’t wait to get things back to normal around here.
   Cartman whispering to himself: I doubt it.
   Mr. Slave: Anyway, let me quickly introduced myself. My name is Mr. Slave. I was once an assistant to Mr. Garrison back at South Park Elementary for a short time. But then I eventually broke up with him and later married to Big Gay Al. I started this job about two years ago as this town became more and more tolerate with gay people like myself. This school asked me if I wanted to join in as the first ever openly gay teacher in South Park’s history. I of course gladly took in this job with great passion and honor, and well, here I am today.
   Kyle: But we already know who you are despite of the fact that this is our first day with you as our new teacher.
   Mr. Slave: Yes, yes, I know that a lot you guys know me well by now, but the real reason onto why I’ve done that introduction is because we have a brand new student here from the east coast. Young lady, can you come up to introduce yourself.
   Lydia raises up from her desk as everyone finally sees her for the first time. Stan was looking at her in such huge shock. In his mind, this must be the person that has taken his old room as he remembers that conversation by the couple from last Saturday. A new gothic student into the school. Is she just as much of a huge nonconformist as other goth kids that he knew? He’s very curious to hear from her.
  Lydia: Hello. My name is Lydia Deetz, and I’ve just recently moved here last Saturday from Peaceful Pines Connecticut. Some of my favorite hobbies includes watching horror films, taking photos, and studying bugs. My life is pretty much strange and unusual, and I feel myself as that kind of a person. I however love to enjoy with my life as much as I can, and I can’t wait in getting to know all you. That is all for now.
   Mr. Slave: Thank you, Lydia. I surely can’t wait in getting to know you also.
   Cartman: Oh god, another goth kid into our school.
   Stan: Shut up, Cartman. She just said that she loves enjoying life which means she’s actually a conformist
   Cartman: How do you know?
   Stan: I once hang out with the other goth kids for a brief moment, remember?
   Cartman: Oh, that’s right.
   Mr. Slave: Okay, class, our first section of the day will about early American history. I’ve already place each a book inside you desk before you all came in. Please pick up those books, and then turn to page ten.
   Everyone picking up their books from books, and then turning to page ten.
   Mr. Slave: Good. Now usually a lot of schools start off on studying American history by talking about Christopher Columbus first, but since he’s now a very controversial figure in the public’s eye and we here at this school view him as a monster, we’ll instead be starting off by exploring to when the first Native Americans came into this continent. Let’s get started.
   As Mr. Slave does his teaching, Stan takes a brief moment to check on Lydia. While he is still upset about his old house being sold, he really can’t take any serious grudges against her as it was more likely her parents’ decision in moving to South Park and she was forced to go along with it. She seems to be a very sweet and positive young lady. 
   Stan in his thought: I should really talk to her during lunch and recess.
   A couple hours later, it was now the start of lunch time. Lydia was in the girls bathroom alone washing her hands when all the sudden, Beetlejuice shows up in front of her at the mirror.
   Lydia: Beetlejuice!
   Beetlejuice: Sup, Lyds! I just wanna come by quick to check up on you. How’s the school so far?
   Lydia: I spend much of the morning learning about early American history and algebra in math class.
   Beetlejuice: Algebras?! Take it from me, those things can be a really pain in the ass to learn, and people often don’t remember anything about it later on. My brain at one point literally exploded when someone asked me an algebra question. *the top of his head comes off to show his brain exploding*
   Lydia: Yeah, even the simplest of algebra was a little hard for me.
   Beetlejuice: Have you made any friends yet?
   Lydia: So far, I haven’t talked to any of the students here yet, but I’m about to find out in a few moments.
   Beetlejuice: Good luck to you, Babes. I’ll be on stand by if you ever need me.
   Lydia: I think I’ll be alright, but I appreciate it. See you later.
   As Lydia leaves to get her lunch, Bebe comes in to check on if her hair looks good.
   Bebe: *sigh* The things that I do in order to keep my hair look nice.
   Just as she was about to grab her comb from her pocket, her hair reflection on the mirror turns into a snake hair. Giving Bebe’s reflection on the mirror a Medusa like appearance. Bebe screams, and quickly runs off. The Bebe reflection on the mirror reveals that it was Beetlejuice the entire time.
   Beetlejuice: *laughs hysterically* A good laugh before for the next scene, you know I love it. 
   At the lunch hall, Stan had just taken his seat with his friends. While listening to their conversation, he waits for Lydia to show up.
   Cartman: *smelling his Sloppy Joes* Ah yes, just the way that I like them. *takes a huge bite on his lunch*
   Kyle: You shouldn’t eat that way, Cartman. It’s not really good for your teeth.
   Cartman: Oh, and now you’re finally concerned about the way I eat, huh?
   Kyle: I’m just saying that if you keep eating like that, your jaw bone will lead to serious injuries, and you’ll have to go on a new diet. You’ll have to start eating canned foods.
   Cartman: Yeah, right. Think again, Jew. My jaw bones is just as strong as my big bones.
   Kenny: Dude, just let him have his moment. Without the Sloppy Joes, he’ll be bitching about being at school right now.
   Kyle: *sigh* Whatever.
   Stan finally sees Lydia with her own lunch bag, but she’s being followed by two goth kids.
   Pete: Do you have a moment?
   She turns around to see Pete and Michael in front of her.
   Lydia: Yeah?
   Michael: What type of a goth are you suppose to be?
   Lydia: Excuse me?
   Pete: Are you a goth, emo, vampire? What are you suppose to be?
   Lydia: For your turns, I’m much more like a perky goth. But I prefer calling myself strange and unusual.
  Pete: God damn it! Perky goths are some of the biggest posers of all time.
   Lydia: What’s wrong with being a perky goth?
   Michael: Listen here, the only types of goths around here are the mopey ones. And we’ve never had any other type of goth in this town before. So, you better stay out of our way you fucking dork, or else you’ll really be sorry!
   Stan has never seen the goth kids act this way before. They may not be among the nicest people that he ever met, but they can at least be overall very natural. However, he’s never seen them acting in such a bully attitude. He gets up from his seat and walk towards them as his friends watched him leave in a bit of a confusion.
   Stan: Hey! Why don’t you two just instead leave her alone! As long you don’t bother her, she won’t bother you.
   Everyone in the lunch hall heard Stan’s yelling and all have their eyes staring to the situation.
   Pete: We better leave here, Michael. Everyone is looking at us.
   Michael: Alright, fine. Just keep that perky dork six feet away from us, poser.
   As the two goth kids leave the lunch hall, Stan turns his attention to Lydia.
   Stan: Are you alright?
   Lydia: Yeah, I’m okay. Thanks for driving them away.
   Stan: Those two goths don’t usually act the way that they just did to you. They’re usually very natural with a lot of people despite of their negative views in the world.
   Lydia: I see. They are truly Mopey Goths after all.
   Stan: I’ve known those goth kids for a long time now, but never told me that there were other types of goth aside from themselves.
   Lydia: There are many different types of goths. The general public usually think the mopey kinds as the only type of goth in existence. But there’s also Hippy Goth, Trad Goth, Cabaret Goth, White Goth, and even a Perky Goth like myself.
   Stan: Interesting.
   Lydia: Look them up whenever you can, so that way you’ll know what type of goth you’re looking at next time. Anyway, I gotta eat my lunch. Again, thank you for what you did.
   Stan: Wait a minute. I want to join you for lunch.
   Lydia: Really?
   Stan: Yeah. Since you’re new here and all, I really would like to in getting to know you a little more.
   Lydia smiling: Sure! And I also would like to in getting to know you as well. What’s you name?
   Stan smiling: I’m Stan Marsh. You might‘ve not seen me early this morning, but we do share the same classroom together.
   Lydia: Oh yeah, I’ve seen you while I was introducing myself because of your cute poof ball hat. It really suits you perfectly.
   Stan smiling: Thanks. And I really love your half ponytail hairstyle. I’ve never seen anything like it.
   Lydia smiling: Thank you. I’ll be waiting for you by the end empty corner of the lunch hall, Stan.
   While Lydia head towards to the empty corner, Stan quickly goes back to the table in where his friends were at to grab his lunch.
   Kyle: Wow, Stan. I’ve never seen you interact with a girl like that in ages.
   Cartman: Don’t forget that she now lives in your old house.
   Stan: I know that. I do plan on telling her when the moment is right, but I also really like her attitude. I’m actually looking forward to in getting to know each other with her.
   Kenny: Good luck with her, dude.
   Stan happy: Thanks. *he leaves off*
   Kyle: I haven’t seen Stan this happy in quite a long time. He must be starting to have strong feelings for Lydia.
   Cartman: Great, he’s about to become a hippie goth. *takes another huge bite from his Sloppy Joe and hurts his jaw bone* Ow!
    Kenny Are you okay, Cartman?
     Cartman in pain: No! My jaw bone is in fucking pain right now! I need to see the nurse right away. *he leaves*
   Kyle: I warned him, but yet again, his ego gets the best in him.
   As Stan walks his way to Lydia, Wendy and Bebe were watching from their table. Just like with the rest of the students in the lunch hall, they’ve witnessed the incident scene with the goth kids. However, following from Michael and Pete leaving the scene and everyone returning to their lunch, Wendy and Bebe watched the whole conversation between Stan and Lydia. Although she and Stan have been broken up for a few years and is now dating Bebe, Wendy is very surprised to see her ex-boyfriend having a decent chat with a girl for the first time ever since their separation.
   Bebe: How are you feeling about this, Wendy?
   Wendy: I would never thought that Stan would have another girlfriend in his life time, and he seems to think that way too. But there he is, about to sit next to Lydia. I’m really proud to see him finally starting a new relationship with someone else. I really hope that he dose succeed in her winning her heart no matter how long it’ll take.
   Bebe: Are you going to give Stan any good advice?
   Wendy: I think he’s more than capable in handle it on his own, but I’ll still give him a call to congratulate him. And while we’re on the subject, we should get Lydia into being our friend too. After on what we just saw with her getting threatened by those goth kids, we have to make her feel more welcomed into this school.
   Bebe: Agreed.
      In the next chapter, Stan and Lydia have a long conversation.
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