#what should i do... the pasta-bilities are endless....

[greenhillguy]

me?? free-ish from my job for the next 5 weeks??? more likely than u think

[traiilblaziing]

Valentine Application!

name: elsie archer.

age: (let’s not ask that question. it makes my head hurt.)

do you like to cuddle?: yes. yes, very much so.

can we make-out?: not in this lifetime, buddy.

a night in or dinner out?: let’s go dancing and then make dinner together. we’ll have to figure out what to watch movie-wise though. i feel like we have different tastes.

ice cream or chocolate covered strawberries?: we should double-date with Ben & Jerry’s. (chocolate covered strawberries are a bit too romantic, i think.)

what makes you a good valentine?: i have decades of experience. also i’m good at handling your extravagance. oh, and i have been waiting to wear a dress in my closet for a while and i need a reason, so this would really work out for me. (also, we deserve to have a fun outing. plus, think of all the stupid couple’s discounts we could get by pretending to be together on valentine’s day: the pasta-bilities are endless, miguel.)

would you cook for me?: yeah, i love cooking. why not?

would you let me cook for you?: let you? i’m encouraging you! lol, i’ll read your cards over dinner. now that’s a deal!

       ❛ You had me at potential scams! Now--- ❜ Miguel digs into the tiny pocket on his flannel shirt, plucking out a teeny-tiny piece of paper that, when unfolded & smoothed out, took up half a bistro table. It’s a map---because of course it is---that is x’d to death. ❛ Here are all the restaurants in the local areas that give out desserts for special occasions. The blue crosses are mid-range restaurants, the reds are low-end, && the gold--the gold, mi amigo--are the jackpots. I’m talking Michelin stars, I’m talking reservations needed last, LAST year, I’m talking crème de la crème. I might have a diplomat badge lying around here somewhere... ❜ Humming absentmindedly, Miguel does what he does best---gets lost in the scheme, eyes sparkling in mischief.

[funnythingshere0-blog]

7 Funny Pickup Lines To Try At The Grocery Store That Aren't Too Cheesy

New Post has been published on https://funnythingshere.xyz/7-funny-pickup-lines-to-try-at-the-grocery-store-that-arent-too-cheesy/

7 Funny Pickup Lines To Try At The Grocery Store That Aren't Too Cheesy

If you’re single and ready to mingle, then you’re probably on the hunt for a bae to snuggle up with this fall. Maybe you’re using a dating app religiously, or maybe you prefer heading out to hot spots to find someone special. Both of those are great ways of putting yourself out there, but if you want to take a more unique approach, then there might be a place you haven’t considered: The grocery store! It sounds weird, but these funny pickup lines to try at the grocery store might just convince you to go for it while you’re making your weekly Trader Joe’s run.

Can’t you just imagine yourself strolling the produce section with someone like Grocery Store Joe? Well, that could totally happen! All you have to do is head to the supermarket and use one of these pickup lines. (OK, so you might also have to like, go out on a date with them or whatever, but you get my point.)

The grocery store is a great place to meet someone. Think about it: Single people mostly go there alone or with their roommates, and there are bound to be several hotties getting their meal-prep on in every aisle. Plus, everyone’s got to eat! To help you work up the courage to go talk to the cutie in aisle three, I’ve put together a list of pickup lines you can use in every aisle of the grocery store. It’s the ultimate meet-cute.

1“How funny meat-ing you here!”

Giphy

For when you’re getting some ground beef or chicken, and there’s a total babe right over there — take a deep breath, walk over to them, and say, “How funny meat-ing you here!” It’s punny, it’s cute, and it’ll show the other person that you aren’t afraid to be a little silly.

Hopefully, they’ll laugh at your line and you can ask for their name. It’s a good start! Trust.

2“You know, I love a good sausage.”

Giphy

Obviously this line is a bit more obvious, but if you’re feeling bold, then you might as well go for it! It you’re interested in a hot dude, then why not make the obvious sausage joke while in the sausage section?

This will show the guy that you’re bold and ready to get busy. Of course, this line should be used with extreme caution, because if you use it on a jerk, they could get the wrong idea. So, proceed with caution.

3“Can you imagine the pasta-bilities if we got together?”

Giphy

If you’re strolling the pasta aisle looking for something to make for dinner, and there’s a regulation hottie looking at the linguine, then give this line a whirl. Make some casual conversation first, ask if they recommend any particular pasta brand and then throw this line out there. You never know what could happen!

4“Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

Giphy

Again, this is more male-specific, but if you see someone fine AF checking out the bananas, and you’re interested, it couldn’t hurt to give this a whirl. It’s flirty, it’s sexy, and it definitely gets across that you were checking them out. I must warn you that if you use this line, there’s a strong chance the other person will laugh and find you incredibly adorable, so keep this bad boy in your back pocket.

5“Not to be cheesy, but you’re looking really gouda.”

Giphy

There are honestly so many cheese puns, so if you see someone attractive looking at the cheeses in the supermarket, the possibilities are truly endless. Make the joke above, ask about their cheese preferences, or be bold and ask them if they’re a ~muenster~ in bed. Honestly, you can’t go wrong in the cheese aisle.

6“Too bad they don’t make smaller bags of baby spinach, but maybe we could share?”

It’s a well-known fact that bags of baby spinach are way too big for single people, and that it can go bad fairly quickly. So if you or that cutie is checking out the spinach, then try this line. You never know, they could have the same problem! Before you know it, you’re in their kitchen, cooking a delicious meal together. Spinach optional.

7“How do you like your eggs? Maybe we can have some tomorrow morning.”

Giphy

Maybe you’re picking up some eggs when you see a hottie next to you. If so, ask them how they like their eggs and hint at getting breakfast together. (Wink wink.) Honestly, it’s pretty hot, and if someone had used this line on me, I’d be totally smitten.

It’s not completely crazy to flirt with someone at the grocery store. And if you’re brave enough to approach someone, you might end up walking away with more than just wine and cheese.

Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!

Source: https://www.elitedaily.com/p/7-funny-pickup-lines-to-try-at-the-grocery-store-that-arent-too-cheesy-12000541

[recentnews18-blog]

New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/7-funny-pickup-lines-to-try-at-the-grocery-store-that-arent-too-cheesy/

7 Funny Pickup Lines To Try At The Grocery Store That Aren't Too Cheesy

If you’re single and ready to mingle, then you’re probably on the hunt for a bae to snuggle up with this fall. Maybe you’re using a dating app religiously, or maybe you prefer heading out to hot spots to find someone special. Both of those are great ways of putting yourself out there, but if you want to take a more unique approach, then there might be a place you haven’t considered: The grocery store! It sounds weird, but these funny pickup lines to try at the grocery store might just convince you to go for it while you’re making your weekly Trader Joe’s run.

Can’t you just imagine yourself strolling the produce section with someone like Grocery Store Joe? Well, that could totally happen! All you have to do is head to the supermarket and use one of these pickup lines. (OK, so you might also have to like, go out on a date with them or whatever, but you get my point.)

The grocery store is a great place to meet someone. Think about it: Single people mostly go there alone or with their roommates, and there are bound to be several hotties getting their meal-prep on in every aisle. Plus, everyone’s got to eat! To help you work up the courage to go talk to the cutie in aisle three, I’ve put together a list of pickup lines you can use in every aisle of the grocery store. It’s the ultimate meet-cute.

1“How funny meat-ing you here!”

Giphy

For when you’re getting some ground beef or chicken, and there’s a total babe right over there — take a deep breath, walk over to them, and say, “How funny meat-ing you here!” It’s punny, it’s cute, and it’ll show the other person that you aren’t afraid to be a little silly.

Hopefully, they’ll laugh at your line and you can ask for their name. It’s a good start! Trust.

2“You know, I love a good sausage.”

Giphy

Obviously this line is a bit more obvious, but if you’re feeling bold, then you might as well go for it! It you’re interested in a hot dude, then why not make the obvious sausage joke while in the sausage section?

This will show the guy that you’re bold and ready to get busy. Of course, this line should be used with extreme caution, because if you use it on a jerk, they could get the wrong idea. So, proceed with caution.

3“Can you imagine the pasta-bilities if we got together?”

Giphy

If you’re strolling the pasta aisle looking for something to make for dinner, and there’s a regulation hottie looking at the linguine, then give this line a whirl. Make some casual conversation first, ask if they recommend any particular pasta brand and then throw this line out there. You never know what could happen!

4“Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

Giphy

Again, this is more male-specific, but if you see someone fine AF checking out the bananas, and you’re interested, it couldn’t hurt to give this a whirl. It’s flirty, it’s sexy, and it definitely gets across that you were checking them out. I must warn you that if you use this line, there’s a strong chance the other person will laugh and find you incredibly adorable, so keep this bad boy in your back pocket.

5“Not to be cheesy, but you’re looking really gouda.”

Giphy

There are honestly so many cheese puns, so if you see someone attractive looking at the cheeses in the supermarket, the possibilities are truly endless. Make the joke above, ask about their cheese preferences, or be bold and ask them if they’re a ~muenster~ in bed. Honestly, you can’t go wrong in the cheese aisle.

6“Too bad they don’t make smaller bags of baby spinach, but maybe we could share?”

It’s a well-known fact that bags of baby spinach are way too big for single people, and that it can go bad fairly quickly. So if you or that cutie is checking out the spinach, then try this line. You never know, they could have the same problem! Before you know it, you’re in their kitchen, cooking a delicious meal together. Spinach optional.

7“How do you like your eggs? Maybe we can have some tomorrow morning.”

Giphy

Maybe you’re picking up some eggs when you see a hottie next to you. If so, ask them how they like their eggs and hint at getting breakfast together. (Wink wink.) Honestly, it’s pretty hot, and if someone had used this line on me, I’d be totally smitten.

It’s not completely crazy to flirt with someone at the grocery store. And if you’re brave enough to approach someone, you might end up walking away with more than just wine and cheese.

Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!

Source: https://www.elitedaily.com/p/7-funny-pickup-lines-to-try-at-the-grocery-store-that-arent-too-cheesy-12000541