#whenever i feel really awful | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

uncanny-tranny · 8 months

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Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.

#disability #this is a callout post about myself #i genuinely thought my GAD was cured because my symtoms had lessened significantly since i've transitioned #turns out my anxiety is just as killer and awful - it's just muted slightly #i am currently laying down with my brain convinced that i'm About To Have a Heart Attack #(and not in the fun demi lovato kind of way)#(that song is a little over a decade old... what the bingle)#anyway please don't do what i do whenever i experience ANY level of symptoms getting better because it will shock you...#...when those symptoms come back and remind you that you Do Indeed have [x condition]#i now know how a wolf girl feels when they say they are Actually Feral because that's how i feel rn 💀#even I'M not immune to the idea that the things i suffer from are things that can Disappear Magically 😭#it's wishful thinking and almost like... imposter syndrome because you're *so* desperate to prove to yourself you're Fine or A Faker #and you become hyperfixated on picking every tiny little waxing and waning of symptoms like you're a fortune teller #and honestly it's really stiffling and it's a lot of work to kill the cop in your head that says you are secretly Not All That Affected...#...that you're either exaggerating to the Extreme or you're just a bored faker who's trying to Get Attention (bad somehow)

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dexter-erotoph · 12 days

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hey i have no idea how dex works n you seem to be a huge enthusiast of their character so can u like.. yap about dexters personality a bit (/nf!!). im trying to work out their personality but im really confused on how to characterize them. so far, ive got some little bullet points. for a little headcanon or whatever ? i think they'd have huge interests that would be seen as a little odd, like, taxidermy or something. theyre like, a freak. (/pos)

also, i think itd have to do more research on with aspd since dex does have thatttt. uuuhm. oh yeah, a good note is that theyre not like. "Evil!! grah!! i kill people because im EVIL" cuz thats not them. they struggle with their emotions, morals, and needs. which i think also goes into the possibility of really bad intrusive thoughts perhaps.

like. they seem to have some of their morality intact (as they dont attack skid n pump immediately) before slowly spiraling and trying to hurt anyone they come across. dex also focuses on animals specifically because they dont believe that they dont feel emotion. they try to justify their behavior through beliefs and desperation to satisfy their persistent thoughts. they also run off the thrill of others pain. and i dont think theyre exactlyyy.. oblivious to the fact that this is a really bad problem, but more that they use being an exterminator to filter their needs into a.. "safer" (and in all honesty, an easier) way.

sorry for the whole ramble, but thats really all i can get so far with their character. also so sorry if this question is weird, but id just like a little input or ur idea of their character lol. no pressure tho ^_^

dont apologise i LOVE talking about dexter it Is really tricky to completely understand him kinda because of how all over the place all the things we have about him are . i was actually thinking earlier about how if sm got like adapted to a show like what happened with dhmis/ maybe we could see more of dexter and understand him better . i think ive talked about this before but i absolutely think theres kind of a thing where people see dexter as WAY more outwardly chaotic than he really is just bc well that’s like 95% of his screentime . how i really think he is is he Can get really easily excited and restless and with a lot of people it’ll drive them away (one of the characters i like to think has this dynamic with him is radford i dont know why i like the thought so much but i do) but he really is just like. hes a sweetheart he loves to draw and make stuff and hes just very smiley and laughs a lot . he isnt afraid to put himself out but he can also get like grumpy and snappy when hes paranoid Thats another thing. ive noticed in pelo’s doodles that sometimes hes portrayed complaining or just like with an irritated expression . i think while he Is a very happy go lucky type character it’s not difficult at all for him to get like . hostile for lack of better word? just annoyed at other people for something that could be really little or unintentional. i have no real point to this this probably will not help you much at all i apologise but the thing is i kinda think there’s No wrong way you can go with dexter in any way. he is such a good character that every aspect of him never feels tired or boring or really wrong to me

But uhh tldr kinda . maybe try to like nail it in that he’s just trying his best. for me thats a really big part of his character just the fact that despite everything that could potentially hold him back he always keeps his head up and just tries to do whatever he can and thats what the focus of his character would be if he wasn’t in a story that had his role revolve around his death. i hope this helps in Some way thank u very much for asking

#feel free to like reblog and add onto this with what you think . i did an Awful job i cant structure stuff i say #ALSO THE WEIRD INTERESTS PART. THATS ALSO A REALLY BIG PART OF DEX #whenever i see stuff like that in fics or art of him im immediately like yeah that’s a good sign

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seiwas · 10 days

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hi my sweet sel :3 i’m sneaking in w a fresh matcha for u to ask for a moot bingo card 🍵… i’m 2 curious i couldn’t resist </3

ari my beloved!!!! thank you for the matcha 🥺 i am sip sippin it while doing your bingo card (my feet are also kicking in the air behind me 🤭) pls sit with me, i am offering you a cookie!! 🍪

(c) xen-blank for the template!

send me an ask and i’ll fill up this bingo for you!! 🥺

#when i say lots of shared interests i rlly mean lots of shared thoughts 🥺🥺 i feel like u just Get what i mean Yk????#i think we understand characters so similarly snd it is so satisfying!! and also comforting to have someone just knows what i mean 🥺#i am chomping ur head because it is simply TOO BIG. full of ALL THAT PROSE AND TALENT.#and younger sibbie vibes bc i do feel like i am always aww-ing at you whenever i see your interactions on my dash!!#esp when you receive all the love you deserve 🥺🥺#i feel like we became moots when you had only a few works up and to see how much your library has grown!!! 🥺🥺#i feel the proud big sis moment a lot 🥺🥺#and pls keep sharing w me ur thoughts and rants and characterisations and aus and hc and EVERYTHINF! 🥹#we r mutual chaos bc we share the same braincells sometimes i think… same w the bouncing of the walls pic… those r our braincells when #-our ideas align #shaking you violently bc i am so in awe at how much you write #REALLY SO AWESTRUCK. u r amazing. i still have so much of ur stuff to read!!!!#ari.🦝#twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat #ask #rep #ask game

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merlinmerlot · 2 months

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I could play one of the most beautiful well crafted video games on the planet and it will never be as appealing to me as one that kind of sucks shit but has soooo much potential

#merlin.txt #just finished cyberpunk #i feel like they could have done sooo much more with the concepts they had #the game showed us a bit of everything in the world but i dont think they explored any one topic enough #and they pulled a ton of punches. the ending did not feel like this big 'grab your allies and fuck the corpos' thing it shouldve been #it was mostly just tying up johnnys loose end. one big loop. which i fuck with; but it wasnt rlly anticapitalist at all in that sense #i have a bunch of other thoughts on johnny but ill save it #but god. the beginning (act 1 and the first bits of act 2) where just soooo fucking good #and it rlly felt like it was going to gear up into this huge thing instead of just being one last hurrah for rogue and johnny #AUUUGHH theres just So Much Potential. goddamn #imo i think the major thing is that at some point it stopped being v's story. it was everyone elses #he has Very little agency. which is interesting but man this guy deserves better #when it comes down to it the game Is really shallow. whenever there is any sincerity in themes its very centrist #the fact is you dont rlly meet many characters in game who are Truly working to take down corps except for johnny and he doesnt rlly count #and if there Are its usually played for irony and laughs (looking at kerry) or theyre flat out kind of awful.#judys story is probably the best of the companions bc shes actively trying to help sex workers and its played very positively #i also think two of the main themes (letting go of the past; what it means to die) are Majorly helped by some incredible emotional beats #and w/o some just Really Really good scenes and good repetition of lines and motifs its very tropey.#ok i wasnt going to write a full thing. but let me be clear: i fucking loved this game. i would not be writing so much if i did not love it #the sun ending was Still soooo vindicating. v is still kicking and that's all that matters to me #(it helps that v is a Great protag like one of the Best voiced rpg protags next to hawke da2)#(which is kind of a funny comparison since i think both protags suffer from a lack of agency)#ok im done now

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waugh-bao · 7 months

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“I still have conversations with the man [Charlie], which I fully expect to continue.”

Keith Richards (The Sun, 2023)

#I feel awful saying this #and I believe Keith has every right to cope/mourn as he needs for his own well-being #but I don’t think he ever fully accepted Charlie’s death #it’s so sweet and so sad at the same time to imagine him having these conversations with Charlie #he said before that he ‘forbid’ Charlie from ever dying #and it seems like this is his way of almost stopping that from happening. like if Charlie is still with him whenever he needs then he hasn’t #really gone on #I’m even sure what I’m saying. I’m rambling and tired after a workshop dinner #but this just fills me with many (mostly sad) emotions #the rolling stones #charlie watts #keith richards #old married band #quote

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crypt1dcorv1dae · 6 months

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I think klavier has The Autisms and/or OCD. Btw.

"he's just a perfectionist" he got so distracted and upset about a missed cue in a song that it distracted him from a literal murder investigation. He felt so strongly about it that he couldn't get past it.

#when he does that thing where he grabs his head and shakes it like hes trying to physically shake out the feeling hes having?#thats something ive done countless times. i know the feeling hes feeling in those moments. its an awful feeling #you cover your ears even though it doesnt help and it doesnt protect you from it but you feel like you need to keep your head on #you shake your head as if you could physically clear out the awful thoughts/ feelings like an etch a sketch but it doesnt work #but neither does anything else #and this reaction in me at least is usually caused by intrusive/obsessive thoughts or being forced out of my routine without warning #he also usually does it when he realizes theres a detail jn a case he hadnt known about/considered: he hates not knowing every detail #whenever evidence/testimony he wasnt aware of comes to light during a trial he freaks the fuck out. he seems to react *really* strongly #like most of the reactions in these games are a bit overdramatic but usually its just like... someone being taken aback !!! not... despair #his reaction really stands out to me #it feels... important.#klavier gavin

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chaotictomtom · 3 months

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this month's rough i might absolutely need to do commissions