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mysticmjolnir · 2 years

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Tag Game to Better Know You

Send this to people you’d like to know better!

Tagged by @tennessoui, i am kissing you on the forehead not with tongue maybe with a little tongue

What book are you currently reading? Seeing Like a State by James C. Scott. It's about how utopian projects pushed top-down by states never go well, because the kind of knowledge states seek to codify tends to ignore a whole bunch of other, very important but less 'valuable' (usually in terms of direct taxation) factors.

I've been reading it real slow bc it's like, dense and stuff and also i've been real sick recently, but it's really interesting. My favourite part is an example used early on; scientific forestry. So forests are like, old and organic and messy and full of stuff that isn't easy to use timber. Which, if you're looking at a forest and thinking 'how much timber can I get out of this forest on a regular basis', is kind of a nightmare. In the latter 1700s some german dude decided to try clearing areas and planting the same tree over and over in neat rows, making sure the area was clear of brush and general forest detritus.

The first crop, about 80 years on, was great! Lots of good quality timber, easy to harvest. The second crop was awful and the third was worse and so on and so on. Because this scientific forestry didn't consider any other factors but commercial exploitation of the forest. Not the nutrients in the soil, not the biodiversity of the biome, both of which were to blame for everything after the first bunch of trees growing poorly, but every other way that people rely on or interact with forests; religion, culture, food foraging, hunting, sneaking off to fuck, grazing for animals, goddamn medicines! Not to mention, y'know, all the ways that a forest exists and thrives sans any human interaction at all.

This is just a really bare example of what this book talks about - most of the projects it discusses are not about just imposing systems onto the landscape but onto people, who must interact with said systems or sometimes fight back against them. And not all state interference is bad or done for purely explotative reasons. But it usually goes badly because the people designing and implementing the systems don't know or care to know about how local systems already function - it just doesn't seem relevant to them and their big ideas. Also, obviously, there's a lot of colonialism here too, colonial administrators trying to align opressed indigenous populations into something 'manageable' and most importantly, taxable.

Like, in 1849, the Spanish going through the regions of the Philippines and assigning Hispanic surnames literally in alphabetical order, then enforcing those names by forbidding all officials from accepting any documentation that didn't use the (randomly assigned) Hispanic surnames. It didn't work 100% of course, these kind of insane, nightmarish projects never do, but it worked somewhat. There was a lot of forcing people to take surnames for the sake of being easier to track/tax. for instance people immigrating to the USA through Ellis Island

In a sweet little twist, at least one of these kinds of forests, from the late 1600s, so, before they had the bright idea to eliminate diversity from the trees they were planting, is a place of well loved and outstanding beauty, and also still harvested for timber on a 200 year cycle; The Forest of Tronçais. It was planted to provide wood for the ships of the French navy, but then they didn't need it so much. It got cut down a lot over the 1700s and 1800s for charcoal and stuff, but now it's, according to (a source in french on) wikipedia 'deemed by many as the most beautiful oakwood in Europe'. So that's nice.

tl:dr I am reading an interesting book on how states fuck up people and also trees.

What’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year? I have not been to see a film in a cinema this year.

What do you usually wear? rn pyjamas, but usually i wear what i like to call hedgewitch chic

How tall are you? 5'3''. i don't want to talk about it

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event? Capricorn. Sometimes my birthday is Martin Luther King day

Do you go by your name or a nickname? I have a really cool name (if we're friends i will tell you it) and I try to go by my shortened name informally and my full name professionally.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child? when i was a child i wanted to be a classicist. i am not a classicist.

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one? That one tumblr post: "not in a relationship, not aromantic, but a secret third thing. unwanted ;) " <-- kit put this i'm stealing it

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at? i'm good at telling people to be kind to themselves. i am bad at remembering to wear a coat when i go outside

Dogs or cats? cats

If you draw/write or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/line/etc from something you created this year? i have written fic this year, which i have not done for some years. i like almost all of my writing. i tried to find a quote but idk, when i went to look at my writing i liked it less.

What’s something you would like to create content for? i want to write an alex rider fic but the fates are against me in nearly every way despite my very funny idea that makes me chuckle to myself every time i think about it

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with? star wars? i'm currently obsessed with certain bits of star wars very much.

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year? uh. i did not enjoy the sandman as much as i hoped to. i can expand at length on this subject to anyone who is interested.

What’s a hidden talent of yours? cat wrangling

Are you religious? nuh

What’s something you wish to have at this moment? a hug

deep breath i can do this i can tag people @dreaminghour @raeality @anakincito

#tag games

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byulsgrease · 3 years

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not earned, but deserved

(solar x reader, ~630 words) - no cw's, just fluff

a/n: so apparently I can still write completely original stuff, who knew. anyway this is purely self indulgent bc I'm goin thru it rn and wish someone would be soft w me 💀 simp hours bYE

You're probably not getting any more work done tonight, whether you like it or not. It feels like no time has passed but you definitely witnessed the sun rise and set out the window today.

Equipped with a blanket draped over your legs to stave off cold feet from sitting unmoving at your desk all day, a mug of a once-steaming beverage sits half drunk but mostly forgotten on the desk. Rings of its condensation stain the table like the worlds most elaborate Venn diagram, or maybe an unintentional attempt at the Olympic Rings.

Your cheek rests in your palm, studying the screen in front of your eyes. The cursor blinks mockingly in the open document that you’ve been staring at for the last few hours with little progress, hoping your fatigued mind will be hit with a delirious stroke of inspiration.

You deserve just a short break, right? You drape the blanket around your shoulders to change positions, crossing your legs over each other trying to keep the heat in. Your head dips into the gap created by your elbows on the desk. Can’t the work just write itself?

When Yongsun walks in, she stops and laughs quietly to herself at the sight of you absolutely passed out, the aggressive white glow of the screen projecting onto your head. She admires the fervor at which you approach your work, though. And she’s definitely been where you have, needing to be peeled away from editing her next YouTube video.

She considers not disturbing your rest, but the memory of too many nights falling asleep with her neck craned down has her rubbing at her once-sore neck. Plus she feels nice enough to save you the embarrassment of the railroad-like tracks stamped into your cheeks from the fabric of your sleeves.

Of course, you don’t realize sleep consumed you until a hand slides across your upper back, stopping and squeezing your opposite shoulder in a side hug of sorts. You can’t make out whatever words she utters, brain still too sleep-addled to process anything. They sound sweet though, in her typical caring but concerned manner.

You groggily lift and turn your head towards her and she smiles, but with a furrowed brow. Her expression wavers, looking like she’s on the brink of careening into a lecture on the importance of taking better care of yourself, but stops.

"You should get to bed," she prods, gentle yet authoritative.

"I should. But I didn’t get that much done,” you lament quietly with a slight groan.

“So?”

“I don’t deserve it."

“Rest isn’t something earned, silly. It’s a necessity— there’s a difference."

You just stare back at her.

"You're not gonna deny yourself water just because you didn't do every single thing you wanted to do in a day, right? You just drink water when you're thirsty. Same thing applies— rest when you're tired."

"Speak for yourself," you half-laugh sluggishly. Your brain fog's subsiding from the power nap, at least. She purses her lips and shoots you a look, knowing you're absolutely justified in calling her out.

"Fine, it's something we could both stand to work on," she concedes. "But you can start now if you turn off the computer and go to bed." She stands up and holds out a hand. Your eyes dart back to the blinking cursor on the screen, longing for the burst of motivation or inspiration you know will push you through. But you're just drained. So you save the doc and turn the computer off, taking her hand and pulling her into a hug once you get up out of the chair.

"Thanks," you mutter beside her ear, relaxing into her arms. You can't find the energy to say much else but she understands, pressing her lips to your temple and holding you closer as you shuffle off to the bedroom together.

#reading iljido’s latest pushed me to finish this 🥺#not requested #solar fluff #mamamoo imagines #mamamoo fluff #mamamoo x reader #mamamoo fic #mamamoo scenarios #mamamoo solar #kim yongsun #solar x reader #kpop fluff #girl group fluff #gg imagines

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lookwhatilost · 3 years

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So obviously a big tw for this all

But let’s get some context out of the way first

so like the ED support subreddit finally banned those horrible posts speculating about celebrities or influencers, which is relieving bc I was getting annoyed because that’s not what the fucking forum is for and I was tired of seeing kpop trash

like two of the popular posts on there rn are “there’s no way to be open about my disorder without being shut down” and “I’m obsessed with grocery apps” and that’s generally the reason for going to a place like that. whether it’s things being emotionally grueling or just the fact that your disorder is making you do weird shit, it’s just to commiserate with people who are in the same boat as you. because, like, this shit is really lonely sometimes and you just wanna talk to people who get it

and I definitely am really feeling lonely with Justin not around anymore

I’ve also noticed that whenever you click through a kpop related tweet, you’re bound to find some scumbag in the replies saying some creepy shit that’s quite literally Pro Anorexia in the comments which is… bro wtf

there’s also a tangential issue here related to ED content on normal social media. vs a dedicated or aggregate forum (so, like Reddit basically) where the understanding is “you’re here because you already have an eating disorder. let’s vent and bullshit about it together”

and, like, r/EDAnonymous and skinnygossip have rules lmfao. you’ll get banned if you go on them and say stuff like “I need to lose 20lbs in a month for prom. Give me your forbidden tips”. from my understanding, the reason why it’s called “pro” is that sites like that sprung up bc most eating disorder websites were militantly pro recovery and you’d get booted if you said anything other than “I’m 100% recovered and everything is great!” even like relatively normal things like “I’m trying to recover but I feel really bad about the weight gain & breaking my eating rituals” would get you booted off. it was more of an anti censorship thing. And I personally think the existence of spaces like that have been an important lifeline for me

and now you have this weird trend on Average Socials like tumblr/Twitter/tiktok where people put their vital statistics in their bios, their ridiculously low ultimate goal weight, and post photoshopped pictures of models & inedible food recipes & gifs of Cassie from skins bc they’re dipshits. and it’s weird how they’re literally just out here, like, quite literally promoting & glamorizing their behaviors. it’s strange, esp as someone who’s been a relatively low weight these past 3 years and just read this shit like “that tip is bunk” “lol you’re going to get protein deficient so fast if you do that and it’s going to fuck your shit up” “don’t call the people reading your profile cows, you stupid asshole”

I find being associated w them far more shameful than the ugly digestive side effects I get. I’d happily keep the lethal farts over the parallel to them if given the choice.

But like. Onto Kpop.

so like what annoys me about it is that, like, it’s just so poisonous that there’s such an open dialogue with the industry in general related to going to extremes to reach low weights. Plus the way the girl groups are marketed as being the Pretty Cool In-Crowd creates this peer pressure effect of “if you want to live this way, you need to look this way” that’s what advertising is all about, sure, but those two things together is just so fucking caustic. Because you can just Google how they look the way they look and end up stumbling upon these extreme fitness & diet plans

like, there’s no reason for these women’s vital stats to be public information. two reasons being: people of asian descent by & large tend to have smaller bones and a higher body fat percentage. this has been scientifically documented and I’ve observed that they tend to look around 2 points higher in BMI calculations than white people at the same place lol. if you’ve ever ordered clothing from Japan or Korea, you know that it fits significantly differently because it’s accommodating a smaller frame. Like, I wear a medium in eastern sizes. this meaning, an asian woman who’s underweight is at a lower medical risk than a white woman at the same bmi. The second one is that… like, even accounting for that, their stats are definitely exaggerated. It’s like the evil sister of how American actresses & models’ mgmt manipulate their vital stats to be like “see, Natalia dyer clearly doesn’t have a BMI of fucking fourteen. She is healthy :)”

I swear to god there’s a morally dubious conspiracy going on w the companies who manage these girl groups. There’s no way in fucking hell that they don’t know kpop is wickedly popular in the cringespo ED crowd. they know that there’s a lot of money in diet related industries, and getting people hooked into That aspect of their performers is a goddamn cash cow, and that’s why they not only release their vital stats but exaggerate them wildly. There’s no way in hell this isn’t deliberate

That and like, these women sign their contracts when they’re 13 or something and have this company micromanaging them for years before they’re public figures. They’ve probably never lost more than 20lbs in one go in their lives, and if you’re quickly dropping a significantly large amount of weight because you’re aspiring to these women and their horseshit numbers, you can seriously put yourself in danger. Health complications can kick you at any weight depending on how extreme your behaviors are. Only about 2-6% of eating disordered people are underweight, so this is applicable to the vast fucking majority of them

I guess the slightly positive thing I can take from this is that none of the kpop idols are, like, concerningly thin. You could easily be a safe BMI and athletic/muscular and have a body like that without having to do anything extreme to attain and maintain it. But it’s so fucking irritating to have cringespo goons swarming around this shit and it’s so fucked up that the freak ass hoes who make business decisions in this department are like “I pretend I do not see it” *cashes check*

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btssavedmylifeblr · 4 years

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I forgot to send on my voting story. Ok so my brother and I both got mail in ballots, and let me tell you how we both forgot to mail it in so we just thought to bring them to our voting location. The lady there kinda yelled at us? She was confused and didn't know how to go about it. And honestly I just took it because we were the idiots who didn't mail in our ballots. We had to rip them up and they just us new ones to fill out in person and submit. Not exciting, but a story for void snippet. 👀

Anonymous said: Hi!! I'm so excited for void! I voted today around 30 minutes before the polls closed in my neighborhood because I had to wait for my dad and brother to get home from work since they wanted to go all together hehe. It was a pretty fast process! We just pressed buttons on screens (compared to last election where we had to bubble in everything by hand) plus, I got to keep the stylus that they gave us and it works on phones too! 🥰🥰 Thank you! I love your writing so much 💜💜💜

Anonymous said: I did mine through mail me and my husband did and we went to the post office a little while back and then he took us on a nice little date afterward and we got ice cream! Also I love void💖 keep up the good work

Anonymous said: VOTES FOR VOID??? I love democracy and I love VOID! So since May I've (temporarily) moved back home from New York to Indiana RE: covid; I've voted absentee for the both the primaries and presidential election (I'm still in IN rn...blah). I voted early and mailed in my ballot for the presidential election (about 3 weeks ago). Made sure my family was voting (brother mailed it in, mom dropped off a ballot, and dad did early voting) and encourage them to put up a Biden sign in our yard <3

Anonymous said: HI BEE! I ALSO VOTED TODAY! IM 21 SO THIS IS MY FIRST TIME VOTING FOR THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION (my 18th bday didnt make the cutoff since im a december bday) im so happy to have done my part! I made sure to study up on the judges and policies and everything! Luckily the polling place didn't have a line so i was able to get in, get my ballot, and fill it in right away! I even dragged my mom and cousin to come with me. I made a joke on snapchat to encourage my friends to vote too. It was a pic of my "i voted" sticker with a caption saying "omg youre so sexy when you vote aHaha" -🦙

Anonymous said: this is my first time doing this so, so i hope i’m sending this correctly! i voted early in late september by mail! i live in a swing state, so it’s really important for me to vote and not waste time!! bc of my age, this is my first time voting so i’m really nervous 😅

Anonymous said: I voted by email! I'm overseas so I wasn't sure if my ballot would actually make it through in time, so I decided to go electronically. Had to sign a waiver saying I understand that my vote won't be anonymous but I haven't been given a reason to suspect voter suppression/fraud in my state, so I'm happy I think...!

Anonymous said: hi, i voted early on oct 24th. my absentee ballot didn't come in, so i had to travel back home to vote (~3 hour drive). when we got there, there was a ton of people outside the polling place, but no lines, so i was in and out pretty quick. it was my first time voting, so i had all the candidates i was voting for written down on a tiny receipt so i wouldn't forget 😅. my mom was with me, so she voted too. took a pic with my sticker (mask on for extra covid-ness) and went home. drove back the next afternoon!

whippedforkook said: Hi Bee. 💕 I voted in early October - nearly a month ago! 😱 It’s been really weird with all the lead up to the election because it felt like it should have been done once I cast my ballot! A lot of my friends have volunteered to get out the vote: writing postcards to voters, texting, phone banking, working the polls, curing ballots. I didn’t volunteer at all this year, but I hope that all of my friends’ hard work and everyone else’s is enough. I’m also hoping and praying that I will be in a better place mentally for 2022 so that I too can volunteer. Our work starts with 2020 not ends. 💕 Wishing you well. 💕

begineuphoria said: I went and voted last Friday as it was our last early voting day. No way was I going to wait until today with the crowds of people in my area that still act as if masks are somehow infringing on their rights. 🙄 It was a rather normal experience for the most part. Other than having to use a coffee stir stick to press the buttons on the machine to vote. In and out within five minutes.

Anonymous said: I voted down the street at this pretty park this morning. I got up at 5:30 and it was freezing. Luckily I wore like 30 layers and stood outside for 2 hours. Some nasty orange man supporters were rude but everyone else was pretty nice. A really cute older couple was playing soccer with pine cones and kicked it towards me to play too. Not the worst time tbh.

Anonymous said: Did mail-in voting in California! Extremely exhausting and took forever to research all the propositions - they are notoriously tricky in hiding their flaws and one side tends to outrageously outspend the other. But in the end I felt really good about my research and decisions! No need for you to post a snippet for this story - would like to save that to read sometime in the future ;) Thank you so much for doing this!

joonsgotthejuice said: Votes for void??? I am here! I went last Thursday and it was chaotic bc I kept going past the poll place but the line was soooo long so my mom called me and woke me up like "its pouring rain and the line is super short get up I'm gonna pick you up" so thats the story of how I got dressed in 5 minutes and dragged my ass to vote in the rain <3

Anonymous said: i voted early on thursday it was cold and rainy but i went in the late afternoon and thankfully the only waiting i did was a few minutes for an elevator i got very lucky and while waiting for the results is awful the relief that came from voting in general was just great

Anonymous said: Wheeew the polls just closed and I finally got to cast my ballot yayyy ( I was the one working the polls from earlier) it’s been a really really long day and we actually had surprisingly good turnout. I saw a woman try to vote for someone else who claimed to be “helping” and I saw a woman who I’m pretty sure was on some typa something 👀 Overall though I really I’m really thankful for people like you who encouraged people to get out and vote. I hope the odds are in our favor❤️🤞🏼

chelsea-chee said: Hello Bee! Today surprisingly my elderly father wanted to vote so I brought him out with me. He only cared about voting for Biden, which meant I got to help decide who he should vote for with the rest of the candidates and amendments! Say hello to baby bee for me as well! 💖

Anonymous said: Okay I gonna got a chance to vote today and the process wasn’t that bad actually. I went in just now and it wasn’t that busy( thankfully) so no lines. I’m from Texas and it’s gonna be almost impossible to turn this state blue, but every vote counts! I love that you are getting people to vote and also sharing your experiences as well!

owl-orgy said: Dropped off my mail in ballot at a polling location! I originally wanted to vote early in person because I was worried my signature wouldn’t match closely enough but ended up just turning it in and double checked today to make it said “ballot accepted and counted”!

Anonymous said: I voted in person this afternoon, better late than never I guess. I was gonna go last week but then I got cramps from hell. There was no one in line in front of me, I think my county early voted because it was packed everyday the last few weeks

Anonymous said: I voted early a couple weeks ago. Exciting thing though that did happen was I got both my parents to vote for their first time ever.

Anonymous said: I had a mail in vote. So, I filled it out and dropped it in at the ballot box at my library. (I also checked out books for the first time in years, so I had fun!)

bubblyjiminnie said: I literally just finished voting. Lucky for me, the line and wait wasn’t very long, and it was a nice enough day that the short amount of time I had to spend in line outside of the building wasn’t too bad. My social anxiety when it comes to stuff like this tends to be high but that’s what I get for waiting until Election Day instead of going the mail in route. This was only my second time voting, but I’m glad that I did 😊

Anonymous said: I turned my ballot in last week :) I’m not a big fan of crowds and I hate make spur of the moment choices but despite that the first time I was able to vote back in 08 my Mom pressured me into voting in person because “you’d have to experience it at least once in our life”. And ever since then I comfortably vote by mail. I take my time, do all of my research, listen to music, and best of all don’t have to deal with people.

Anonymous said: here in Washington state it’s super easy to vote. I dropped my ballot off in mid-October and it’s already been accounted for! Mail in voting and drop box voting is fantastic and provides equal opportunity and access. Sad to see some people in red states misinforming Americans about it! We also have a referendum for implementing mandatory sex ed, including teaching respect, empathy and consent as part of the curriculum so I was happy to vote yes on that too!

unionrox006 said: I voted about 2 weeks ago by doing a mail in ballot. The other eligible to vote members of my household did the same. We chose to vote by absentee ballot because both my mom and I have an autoimmune disorder, so we have to be careful going out in the pandemic. Tbh, the ballot layout was a bit confusing at first as was all the paperwork and required IDs and documents. But my dad explained it to me and we got them filled out and mailed off. Kinda mad I didn't get a sticker for it though

bluetostone said: Love this and so excited for the next chp of void! I early voted a few weeks ago and because I live in a pretty rural county I was in and out of my polling place in a few minutes. No sticker though 😢. I live in a swing state so it could go either way in terms of delegates. Just praying everyone is safe tonight as the results roll in...though, won't we not know for sure for a couple of days or weeks?

Anonymous said: My mom, sister, and I received our early voting ballots a while ago and I took the longest to fill mine out because it was making me anxious :,( but I did return it before it was due. I checked our ballot statuses and mine and my moms were accepted but my sister’s said they hadn’t received hers back. Then she got another ballot so she filled that one out too and I took it yesterday 👍👍 I think she got two because she changed her address late so they sent two?

vixsynsblog said: Non-interesting voter story: I'm paranoid and live in a highly divided area, so I filed mail-in ASAP, mailed it a few days after cause neighbors are nosy and don't understand boundaries. Was able to track my ballot through my credit company, which was nice. Only thing I was missing was my sticker. Never got one✊😔. So I had to improvise and write it in pen on my disposable mask. I'm working all this week so if riots break out from either side, I'll be at work. Prayers for the safety of others🙏

______

Waaah!!! Thank you all for voting!! You are all my heroes. I am so grateful and proud of you. I’m sorry I ran out of time to respond to you individually. I’m going to drop two big scenes from Chapter 7 in gratitude (one of which will be familiar to my patrons and one won’t). I’m hopeful I will have the whole next chapter out very soon. Love you all!

Void spoilers below the cut.

When you wake up in the morning, there are still no signed HR forms in your messages. Had you been a fool to think they were interested? How much time does it take to decide such a thing? Perhaps just by putting the idea out there explicitly, it had lost all of its taboo appeal.

There is a calendar reminder waiting for you: Today is chili pepper pollinating day. At least this gives you an excuse to talk to Hoseok.

You find the science officer in the lab as always, sitting with his knee up against his chest. Hoseok doesn’t look well. He’s got dark circles under his eyes.

“Hey, um…” You shuffle your feet. Want to fuck me? No wait…“You don’t look good. Were you here all night?” you ask.

He blinks at you, bleary-eyed. “Um, was I? Yeah.. I suppose. Lost track of time.” He rubs his eyes, before looking you up and down, then casting his gaze back to the floor.

All you want to do is ask about the forms. Or the meeting. Or what he thinks of you now. But you don’t. “I need to pollinate the chili peppers today.” Usually Hoseok is the person who assists with that. “But I can get one of the other guys to do it if you need the sleep.”

“No!” Hoseok lurches forward, standing up a bit to rapidly and needing to put his hand back on the bench to steady himself. “I mean, I’m fine.”

You should disgaree with him. He is exhausted. But you’d like more time to talk to him.

Pollinating the chili peppers is both time-sensitive and time-consuming, hence why it took two of you to get the job done. There were no insects on your ship to do the job for you and if they didn’t get pollinated, they wouldn’t bear any fruit. Your chili peppers were your favorite crop. Not only a vital source of Vitamin C, but all your food benefitted from having a bit of spice added to it.

You and Hoseok head for the greenhouse together. The intital set-up gives you something to talk about in the beginning. Hoseok gathers the pollen from one flower onto a paintbrush, then hands it over to you to paint onto the stigmas of each little flower on the next plant in the line.

Slowly the conversation dries up as you fall into a silent rhythm. Other than just enjoying the chili peppers, you must admit that this was one of your favorite tasks on the ship because of the high likelihood that the two of you would brush hands peridically. Always gave you butterflies. But today he seems extra intent on keeping his distance from you. Was he disgusted by you now? His hands are trembling.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

His hand twitches so hard that a little rain of yellow pollen cascades onto the floor. He curses in frustration before turning to face you. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Um, yes, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“This, um, plan of yours…” he gestures to the vague tension in the air. “It doesn’t feel like you.”

“I’m trying to save the mission. That has always been my top priority.”

“Yeah, I’m still not clear on how this benefits the mission.”

“Yoongi said…” you start to say, but are cut off my Hoseok’s derisive snort.

“Look, if you’re in love with Yoongi, just go date him, okay? Don’t feel obligated to include the rest of us out of pity.”

You frown. “I’m not… I’m not in love with him. It’s just sex. Just biology.”

“This isn’t you!” Hoseok argues back. “You hated the idea of anyone of us ever treating you that way. And now you just want all of us to… to… use you like that?” He splutters out the end of the sentence.

“No one is using me! This is my plan! I’m in charge!”

He sighs. “Well, I can’t be a part of it. Excuse me.”

______

Taehyung finds you in the gym. It’s good to see him up and about, even if his arm is still in a sling.

“Hey, so I need to talk to you about this, um, ape sex thing.” He fishes awkwardly into his pockets and pulls out his tablet. Maybe Jimin was right. Is Taehyung going to be the first to take you up on your offer?

You pause your jog on the elliptical machine. You wish you weren’t so sweaty and gross for this conversation. Taehyung is such an intimidatingly attractive man with those strong eyebrows and that perfect skin.

Taehyung opens up the tablet and flips to the form. It’s happening. He’s going to sign the form. Shit. Then what will you do? It’s one thing to say you want to have sex with your whole crew, but what if he’s hoping to go right now? You need a shower.

Taehyung has really nice hands. Long strong fingers delicately navigating the touch screen. It seems totally improbable that a man this attractive would be into you, even if you were the only woman in the universe. It just adds to your suspicions that hormones are driving everyone crazy. Perhaps if you slept with him once, he’d lose all interest.

He finds the form and then turns his gaze up to you, staring you down with those eyes. It’s a good thing that Taehyung rarely turns his full gaze on you, because it is almost too much to bear. Shit, is he just going to sign it? Is he waiting for you to give him some sort of signal?

“You can’t do this to Jimin,” he says.

“What?” Not what you were expecting. “Do what to Jimin?”

“This.” He gestures over the HR form. “Signing these forms with everyone. Having sex with everyone. You’re going to destroy Jimin.”

“Jimin’s the one who suggested this whole thing in the first place.” It’s a lie. You know its a lie. Or at least a gross exaggeration. But Jimin was the one who first brought up the idea of sharing. All for the benefit of the man in front of you now.

“No way.” Taehyung scoffs, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. “No way was it Jimin’s idea that you sleep with the whole crew.”

“Well…” You can’t bear his gaze anymore and look down at the floor. “He wanted me to sleep with you.”

That surprises Taehyung. He puts down the tablet. “What? Why would he want that?”

This is awkward. “He, um, thinks you’re in love with me.”

“What?” There is only surprise on Taehyung’s face. It’s actually a relief to see that Taehyung is just as shocked by that idea as you were. “Why does he think that?”

“I don’t know…” You feel kind of dumb now. Of course, Taehyung doesn’t feel that way about you. Look at him. “Cause you told him you were jealous. Cause you can’t stand to be in the same room as us…”

Taehyung bites his lip. “Oh, um, shit, sorry, that’s not what I meant.”

If Taehyung isn’t jealous of Jimin...

“Taehyung…” He looks up, biting his lip. “What did you mean? Who are you jealous of?”

Taehyung’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead he reaches for his microphone and mutes it. Out of respect, you mute yours as well. He glances toward the camera in the corner of the room, then stands up and begins unzipping his jumpsuit.

“Um…” You are distracted by the golden arms that peak from either side of the tank top as the zipper reaches his groin. “What are you doing?”

“Need something to block the camera.”

“We have towels,” you mutter. But he’s already stripping out of his shirt. The musculature of his back ripples. He hangs the shirt off of the camera to block the rest of the room from view.

“Yeah, but this way anyone watching will think we’re having sex.” His chest is just as attractive as his back and you flush at the sight of it. Mercifully, he zips back into his jumpsuit as he returns to his position in front of the exercise machine.

“You want them to think we’re having sex?”

“Don’t you? It plays right into your whole save the mission with bonobo sex plan.”

“I suppose.” Though the plan was also supposed to be that there would be no more secrets between the crew. “What plan of yours does it play into?”

“The one where Jimin doesn’t realize I’m in love with him.”

“You’ve never tried to tell him?”

Taehyung laughs wryly and shakes his head. “How would that conversation go? Hey man, I know we’ve known each other for years and I’ve already seen you naked and that you just think of me as a friend, but I’m in love with you. I know that’s awkward but now you have to spend the next twelve years with me, knowing that I’m attracted to you when you don’t feel the same way.” Taehyung sighs. “Doesn’t sound like a good plan to me. If he doesn’t feel the same way, I’ve just ruined the friendship for nothing and then I don’t even have that.”

“Yeah… I get that.” There’s something touching about realizing that Taehyung has been fighting the same battle as you for the last two years.

“I couldn’t tell anyone before launch because what if they wouldn’t let me go then? You know?”

“Yeah, the director wasn’t big on sending anyone who might ‘complicate’ the mission.” The two of you share a sad knowing smile.

“Yeah… And I thought it would be fine, you know? I like women too. I’d just date women until launch and no one would know. I wasn’t planning on falling in love with my roommate.”

“I don’t think any of us really knew what this would be like.”

“I knew it was going to be a problem. I should have pulled out…”

Your mind flashes back to that moment of doubt when Hoseok talked you into still coming on the mission.

“But I couldn’t just let him go off into space without me. Even if he’d never feel the same way, at least he’d still be in my life.”

The emotion in Taehyung’s words makes your eyes begin to mist. “You really do love him.”

“Yeah,” Taehyung sighs again. “But he’s in love with you.”

“Well, he thinks he is.”

“What does that mean?”

“He only feels like that about me cause he thinks I’m the only option.” You wonder if maybe he would feel differently if he knew about Taehyung’s feelings.

Taehyung frowns and shakes his head. “You don’t give him enough credit.”

“Oh come on, you know him. How many women did he date while we were in training?”

“A few…”

“And how many of them was he in love with before he found the next one?”

Taehyung bites his lip. He can’t really argue with that. “So why are you with him then, if you don’t think it’s real?”

You shrug, rubbing your arm. “He wants me. It’s nice to feel wanted, I guess.”

“You know you could have that with any man on this ship right?”

You scoff. “They’re all suffering the same delusion. It’s only-available-vagina syndrome. I just want us all to fuck and get it out in the open. Maybe if we could get it out of our system, they would see I’m nothing special. And then we can get back to the mission.”

Taehyung eyes you up and down. “You don’t give yourself enough credit either.”

You shrug. “You wait and see. Jimin will get bored of me. They all will.”

The two of you both slump backwards in your seats, mulling over your shared woes. Taehyung bends down and picks up the tablet again. “So what should I do with this?”

“Obivously, you don’t have to sign it. I should have realized that not everyone would be interested.”

“Jimin thinks I’m in love with you?”

“Yeah…”

“Is it okay if we let him think that for now? At least until I figure out how to tell him the truth?”

“Okay.”

Taehyung smiles and signs the bottom of the form, then sends it to you. Your phone lights up with a message. “Thank you,” he murmurs before he leaves.

#I'm not going to answer asks about the spoilers right now #because I want people to be able to avoid them until the chapter drops #but that should be sometime in the next week or so #votes for void

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todaviia · 3 years

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oi bestie, mind dropping a list of must-see museums in Munich? 🥰 I trust you and I don't know where to start

Sure I'd love to! Ok so if you're horny for statues, I can really recommend the Glyptothek (also general tip, on Sundays most of the publicly owned museums in Munich are only 1€, but then you have to buy tickets for the Glyptothek and the State Collection of Antiquities separately, on all other days they're combined.) It's the oldest museum in Munich but it's been recently renovated and I think the inside is reaaaally nice. This is where I went today.

The Pinakotheken are probably the most "Must See" museums in Munich (these museums as well as the Glyptothek, the State Collection of Antiquities, the Egyptian Museum, the Lenbachhaus and the NS Documentation Center are all pretty close to each other so you can easily combine them at will).

You have the Alte Pinakothek (Medieval to 18th Century, the coolest painting here imo is a Rubens called "Höllensturz der Verdammten" which is super rad but in general they have literally everything from that time period from Dürer to Da Vinci), Neue Pinakothek (I think it's being renovated rn and therefore closed, but it has 18th/19th century art, esp impressionism, think Monet, van Gogh, Klimt etc) and the Pinakothek der Moderne (which is abt post-1900 art, I think their Picasso pictures are their most well-known ones, but they also have a lot of contemporary art and design).

Honestly if I had to rank them it would be Neue Pinakothek, Alte Pinakothek, then with a good bit of distance Pinakothek der Moderne - I think what pissed me off the most was that when I went there a BIG part of the design exhibition was basically about Mercedes Benz (I'm 99% sure it was Mercedes but it could also have been another German car manufacturer) and like it had a really obnoxious mix of pseudo-deep "DOES THIS ART MAKE YOU THINK?" and really over the top corporate sponsorship which pissed me off, it's also quite expensive on non-Sundays.

The Lenbachhaus is also pretty important, especially since they focus more on German Art and especially art from Munich. I really love it too (in my first year of law school me and my friends got year-tickets and went there regularly just to hang out lol). They have a lot about the Blaue Reiter which I was kind of obsessed with back then (It's German Expressionism from just before WW1, esp by Franz Marc and Wassily Kandinsky).

Honestly, I'm not really a fan of the NS Documentation Center (though they do sometimes have interesting short-time exhibitions), I think if you visit Munich you absolutely should visit the Dachau concentration camp memorial, but at least to me, going to Dachau and listening to/reading survivor accounts is also a much more emotional and immediate experience, whereas the NS Documentation Center always feels a little... sterile? Like there obviously needed to be an NS memorial at the site (it's where the Nazi Party Headquarters were located until they were destroyed after the war) and if you don't have the time to go to Dachau (which is a suburb of Munich) and don't know much about the Holocaust, do visit, but there's better museums and memorial sites about the era in Germany.

If you're interested in that time period, I can also really recommend visiting the main building (Hauptgebäude) of the Ludwig Maximilian University, which is where the student resistance group White Rose was active and where unfortunately Sophie and Hans Scholl were arrested after being turned in by the university janitor after dropping leaflets into the atrium. There's a (free) exhibit room in the atrium itself, plus there are some memorials.

Apart from all that, the Deutsches Museum is the main science museum in Munich (actually according to google it's the biggest museum for science and technology in the world?) I think parts of it are also under construction but it's not fully closed. But its HUGE. They have some really cool demonstrations about physics stuff (like demonstrating a Faraday cage for example) and I'd call it an "all ages" museum. Honestly, this is probably the museum that is "funnest" imo. Like if you're just with friends and want to go to a museum for fun, this is the one where nobody is going to get bored.

Apart from that the two museums I visit the most and personally really like are the Jewish museum (pretty self-explanatory, it's about Jewish life in Munich, they also sometimes have cool Jewish-themed events) and the Museum Five Continents (formerly Ethnological Museum), it has non-European art and cultural exhibitions. Obviously it has a major colonialist history (let's be real, so do a lot of the others), but I feel it's comparatively reasonable with addressing it and also has contemporary non-European/non-Western art.

There are toooooooooooooooooooons of other museums but imo I think these are the most important/best ones.

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epouvantes · 4 years

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❛ jeon jungkook, demiboyflux, he/they ❜ was that kim moonsik? the twenty-two year old freelance photographer has been in town since birth. the witch has a reputation for being disorganized & affectionate. you know they’re around when you get flashes of ( mismatched socks, taking buzzfeed quizzes into the dead of night, dancing when no one is watching & believing in signs ). rumor has it, they are a member of the high coven. { samu, est, 25, she/they }

( OOC: TW: ANXIETY MENTION AT THE END OF THIS PARAGRAPH. hi! i’m samu, i’m 25 and i use she/they pronouns! i’m so so so so so excited for this rp and for you all to meet my babies!!!!! i wanted to make this lil ooc section just to let y’all know that i’ll be posting longer and more detailed intro-like posts for my charas eventually, but i wanted to be able to give lil summaries and connection ideas before then so!!!!! there it is!!!!! thank u sm for reading!!!!! also if i ever message you to plot, which i’d like to do with everyone if my social anxiety allows it, pls don’t feel obligated to plot with me at all!!!!! i love connecting with other writers and stuff but i’ll completely understand if you’re not up to plot with me and my charas <33 ) ← this is the same ooc paragraph in all of my first three intros, so pls feel free to skip it! <3

brief introduction.

moonsik’s parents moved from ulsan, south korea, to blackthorne about eight years before the boy was born. he grew up in blackthorne along with his two older siblings (they’re fraternal twins a couple of years older than moonsik), and had a pretty comfortable childhood! however, his mother left the family when he was only five years old, and he’s never seen or talked to her since. the reasoning behind her departure is still a mystery to moonsik, and he’s definitely still confused/sad about it, but!! i won’t delve too much into that yet!! i’ll def write about it in my longer bio/intro thingy later on, though!!

his dad remarried, when moonsik was nine years old, to a woman who had lived in blackthorne all her life!! i’m not gonna develop the step-mother too much bc i’ll definitely send in some wanted connections soon (for her + moonsik’s dad, siblings and step-siblings! and maybe more?), but she actually has a really good relationship with moonsik!! he doesn’t see her as a mother tbh, but he really loves and respects her and!! even during his more rebellious phases in high school she was like the one (1) person in the family he always felt he could talk to!!

relationships with siblings and step-siblings are to be developed tm!! i’ll be sending in wanted connections for them soon as i said before so i might add a bit to it in there but tbh i’ll try to keep things vague so that they’re easier to fill!!

moonsik did NOT like school. like, at all. i think probably at least one of his siblings was like...... super strong academically, and it mayhaps played on moonsik’s confidence a bit to constantly see his sibling(s) get praised for their accomplishments?? and like..... his dad, siblings, step-mom and step-siblings have never put pressure on him?? he did so himself after seeing others succeed so much and wishing he could do so as well?? and don’t get me wrong; he’s skilled at plenty of things (especially visual arts)!! but having difficulties academically really did affect his self confidence :(

i said this was going to be short rip sdlfijsdlkfjsdlkfjsdklf i’M SO SORRY!!!!!

ok so!! outside of all the family stuff!! moonsik’s been exploring his gender identity for about three years now, and he finally feels like he has the right word/definition for it all!! demiboyflux is honestly a word he didn’t even know of until a couple of months ago, but as soon as he saw the definition for it (here’s a link to a simple definition!) he was so happy because it was him and it felt perfectly right??

he’s not exactly out to that many people concerning his gender identity bc as much as he loves who he is he just isn’t ever sure how to bring it up?? also, most of the time he’s fine with masculine nouns (boy, man, brother, son, boyfriend, husband, prince, etc.) AND he’s perfectly fine with both he and they as far as pronouns go, so...... he just doesn’t feel like it’s absolutely necessary for him to discuss it with EVERYONE, you know? but at the same time sometimes he kind of feels like just ranting and rambling and gushing about all of it, which is why he actually started an anonymous blog (eyes emoji tm) last month, and it’s been super helpful for him!!

he’s a freelance photographer rn, and he honestly really likes it!! however, since he’s not super well established yet (and doesn’t have an official diploma or anything like that - he quit university after two semesters), he isn’t making tons of money, and is therefore currently living with his dad and step-mother. it’s becoming a bit suffocating to him tbh?? and he’s highkey considering getting a part-time job too so that he can maybe make enough money to afford renting a lil apartment or room or something!!

super disorganized!! it’s probably one of the things he fights about the most with his family bc they kinda see his lack of organization as him being quite irresponsible (and they’re not completely wrong maybe, but still), and he’s never really done anything to change this part of him?? like, he’s always losing stuff, forgetting things behind, not remembering appointments, forgetting to send in important documents on time, never checking his voice mail and/or inbox, etc.

affectionate af!!!!! a sweetheart, tbh?? like, he’s kind of reserved so people tend to assume that he’s not the most friendly, but he’s actually rlly sweet!! he’s very openly affectionate with the people he’s close to, never hesitating to wrap himself around someone or plop down in someone’s lap or anything like that (though he is careful about who is and isn’t comfortable with that ofc! tbh in the past he didn’t take that into consideration all that much and he honestly feels really bad about it now, so he’s SUPER careful about other people’s boundaries now)!! also....... he will 110% deny it, but he LOVES attention. like he’ll wither away without attention i sdlfjslkdjfksldf

he’s bi and has known for a long time, and he’s actually been out as such since he was seventeen years old!

( WARNING: MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ACTIVITY ) he’s had two serious-ish relationships in his life so far, but outside of those he’s actually quite enjoyed doing more casual sexual things with people he finds attractive/interesting/etc!! he actually prefers fwbs to one night stands and i can DEF see that leading to some tension in the future with some of his friends.........

HE’S SO PROUD OF BEING A WITCH!!!!!! his entire family are witches (maybe not his step-mother and step-siblings, though? it’ll depend on whether or not they get taken up as wanted connections and, in the case they do, what the people playing them prefer!), and he’s so!!!!!! passionate about it!!!!! he hates learning in school and stuff but when it comes to learning about magic, especially healing magic, he’s so eager and passionate and !!!!!! he loves it :( idk if his father and siblings are in the high coven tbh but!!!!! he is definitely quite proud to be part of it!!!! also he’s probs definitely one of the most eye-roll-y judgemental ones when it comes to what he thinks of the bloodstone coven !! he deadass doesn’t get why they would practice the kind of magic they practice and he’s???? like he wouldn’t be straight up /rude/ to them without reason but he’s def not as friendly as usual around them i think (though ofc there might be exceptions!!)

connection ideas.

CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDS: probably around 2 to 4 of those?? i’m picturing this lil group to have been thick as thieves since they were little kids (although maybe one or more of them joined their lil friend group later on in their childhood and/or teenage years?), and i just really want a group of super close friends who know each other better than the backs of their own hands and who may tease each other mercilessly but who still love and adore each other (no matter whether or not they actually say those words aloud dlffkjsdkjfsdlkjfsdlkf)!! age-wise i was thinking they could all be between 21 and 25 years old?? ( 00 / 02-04 )

EXES: as mentioned earlier, moonsik has been in two romantic relationships in the past that were somewhat serious? one of them was probably a high school relationship that last for like 14 months and ended just because they did not click well together AT ALL but had gotten into a relationship bc high school and stuff, you know?? (i think that ex would have probs identified as a cis woman back then - whether they still do or not is up to you - since they probs started dating before moonsik came out as bi?) and i feel like mayhaps recently they’ve gotten in touch again and actually click quite well as friends nowadays, although there are zero (0) romantic feelings between them anymore (just saying, but..... mlm/wlw solidarity is rad tm!! it’s not a necessity ofc but!! yes!!) NOW THE OTHER EX!!!!!!! i feel like this one would have been a bit more recent?? and probably with a man or masc presenting person?? since it’d be more recent, and the relationship would have been quite important to moonsik, i’d like not to add too much to it here and instead work it out with whoever may end up being interested in that connection? ( 00 / 02 )

EMPLOYER(S): people who’ve hired moonsik for his photography skills!!!! maybe also a future/eventual employer for when he ends up finally looking for a part-time job?? mayhaps they could be friends of some of moonsik’s family members?? oooooh what about someone who knew his mother?? (although ig that’ll be easier to work out when i 100% decide why she left dslfjksdkjfsdkljf) ( 00 / ?? )

FRIEND AND/OR ENEMY WITH BENEFITS: ( WARNING: MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ACTS ) i’m thinking that moonsik probably doesn’t hook up with too many people at the same time unless he knows for sure that the other person doesn’t mind it? so the number for this connection will change depending on that!! also i reaaaaaaally love BOTH the idea of friends with benefits AND enemies with benefits since they can both bring in v interesting storylines!! also i’m not totally opposed to having moonsik hook up with his most recent ex (bc i love angst), but it’s definitely not a necessity! ( 00 / 01 )

DEALER: ( WARNING: DRUGS TW ) he did quite a few hard drugs in hs, which was 100% part of one of his rebellious phases, and although he doesn’t do anything too strong anymore, he does rlly like weed (prefers edibles to smoking tho bc no matter how often he does it he always coughs and it’s embarrassing!!!!!), and i’d love a connection with his dealer?? preferably one that’s kind of humorous?? ( 00 / 01 )

#blackthorneintro #general: introduction.#general: character development.#kim moonsik: all.#kim moonsik: intro.#kim moonsik: character development.

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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years

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June 25: Thoughts on Writing

So I’ve decided I want to do a bit of thinking on writing. The truth is that I actually don’t think about it that often anymore, and haven’t for several weeks, not since I realized I needed a break and declared a hiatus. I really did think I’d get over that hiatus in a couple days but it’s seeping into me instead. I told myself I’d take as long as I needed but… at some point, because creating is difficult, you do need to make a choice to just do it even though it is hard and you don’t feel ready. I’ve been trying to balance that—knowing that writing is good for me and good for my mental health—with forgiveness for myself. Something is telling me that I need a break. I’m not always great at listening to myself, the unconscious urges and instincts, so I am trying to do that.

I suspect a big part of this is that I’m inching out of the fandom. I never plan to leave or enter a fandom, I just go where I feel I want to be. But nevertheless… I am torn. A part of me doesn’t want to leave. That part thinks of all the good ideas I had and all the unfinished ideas, and wants to complete things, and to continue to explore. But another part of me just doesn’t care, doesn’t feel inspired at all. I’m not really inspired to write in other fandoms either (though I am toying with non-T100 ideas in a way I haven’t in probably about 3 years), so it’s not just that T100 isn’t an interesting place for me rn, and may never be again, but that is part of it for sure.

I could go into the other reasons but I didn’t sit down with the intention of dwelling on that. This is more about… what do I want, and what should I do? How much do I just content myself with other things and how much do I force myself to write, and in what direction? I could certainly fill my hours with other things, even other productive things. But being able to leave myself and my apartment, mentally, through writing is so important to me, and especially so now. I know that when I don’t write for long periods of time, my brain becomes stagnant and I feel dull. I already feel this happening. I’m not sure if it’s a chicken or an egg but I need the escape. I just don’t know how. I don’t even know my own instincts. What do I WANT, what’s the IDEAL, what should I be striving FOR?

So. There are a couple of possibilities.

One possible goal certainly is to finish things, to check things off a list. I love my lists and this part of me, the just do it part, has always been and will always be in conflict with the more creative part, which just wants to follow whims. Of course actually creating completed things of any sort does require discipline and forcing yourself when you don’t feel like it so I know these aren’t really incompatible instincts, but they do feel like it often. I have a lot of half-finished fics. I have a lot of ideas that have been haunting me for a while in an annoying way. And I have outstanding requests. So one thing I could do is just focus on those things that I most want to say ‘well that’s done now, good’ regardless of inspiration, and then hope that the joy of writing naturally follows, once I give myself time, space, goals, etc. The advantages of this are that even if it’s not as satisfying as I hoped, something will at least get done. Plus, I don’t need to figure out what I “really” want, or put pressure on myself to find the ‘perfect’ inspiration. It’s going to be hard no matter what, anyway.

The downside of this is that having a plan to get back into a hobby by making it the most like work as possible seems… dumb.

Another possibility is that I continue just writing fragments, individual scenes, free writes, etc., instead of pursuing stories, multi-chapter fics, or other longer projects. This is basically all I’ve been doing since finishing the AWWNH Interlude a month ago. The most story-like thing I wrote since then was Fifteen Miles, which did require a couple false starts, but which is still under 2k and pretty simple. I actually do like the scenes I’ve written and it feels good but not stressful. I have found in the past though that when I do too much of this kind of writing, it starts to feel… difficult in itself because each story is short but it’s also something I have to start from scratch. Of course it’s not like I have to do a certain number of them, so I can keep my overall output small while still not losing the writing habit entirely.

Option three: it’s not about writing, it’s about planning. To be honest, this is all a part of me wants to do. Outlines. Brainstorms. Sit on my couch with a notebook and hand write vague ideas I may or may not ever write. I haven’t actually been doing this, or at least not precisely and not much, partially because I just haven’t had the time/energy for ANYTHING recently, and partially because… I guess in a way I feel like I don’t deserve it. Like planning new projects is for when you’re done with current projects. I realize this is unreasonable but it’s the truth.

And finally, I could try to really, really detach myself from any care about what I “should” be writing, and just write whichever of my ideas most speaks to me in any given moment or, otherwise, something chosen randomly, since often it’s hard to tell what I’m in the mood for (again, creating is hard, and it’s always hard—doing nothing is always easier than pursuing even the best, most interesting idea). I don’t necessarily ever have to finish anything, and I can work for as long as I want or don’t want. Realistically, I’m probably not going to have much of an audience for my fics again, at least not in this fandom, so I might as well really lean into writing things for me. I don’t owe anything to anyone! If it’s not enjoyable for me and I don’t like the finished project, it is not worth it, and I should cease to care.

This attitude is not in my nature but I could use more of it.

The truth is I do want to be able to post things again and have people actually want to read them, to have them look exciting etc., because I’m only human and I love validation. But that’s beyond my control. So I can’t get caught up in it, or let it distract me in any way.

Realistically, I’ll probably do a combination of these things. I’ve been collecting a large document of current projects and ideas for a little bit now; it’s one of the few creativity-adjacent things I have been able to do and have liked doing. I’m going to continue with that, and I’m going to try to make time to write on the weekend. I’m going to put a slight emphasis on requests since I feel the worst about those being unfinished. And otherwise I’m just going to work on random projects, and try to be as little concerned with quality as possible, at least for now. I’m also going to make time to just plan stuff for fun, since that’s something I actually do actively want to do (and I know that it’s a lot harder than it seems… it’s still ‘work’ in a sense, still ‘productive’).

I’ve been really topsy-turvy this week and now that it’s almost over… I’m not sure what to expect from the weekend. I hope to get enough rest today and tomorrow that I can actually accomplish stuff on the weekend itself. I might be going out on Saturday… depending on the weather, just to sit outside away from my apartment. Might do some notebook-writing then. It’s demoralizing to spend a long time on something and get little in return, in terms of word counts, etc., but I’m going to try to gear myself up for that likelihood, and focus on what I need the writing for: to get out of myself, to deeply imagine another time and place and other people who aren’t me, and be in their heads. I would like that. I am going to try.

#the year 2020 #2020: writing thoughts

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bitchsexuality · 5 years

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@animaliae

ok first off i’m sorry i took so long to reply!! i’ve been busy in the most tedious way possible so my brain’s not exactly my best friend right now. second off: THANK U SO MUCH these were so fun to answer!!

i’m putting all of these in the same post because i started talking and i could not Shut The Up, and i think one atrociously long post is better than four long posts when it comes to like, scrollability. scrollpastability? scroll-Something. and putting it under a readmore too for the same reasons

SO, from top to bottom:

weirdest character idea for D-N-D:

it’s an idea i’ve already had because i can’t come up with anything right now dksjfgbd, but

once i made a druid for a D//N/D-based CRPG who only cast spells when they gave him something edible (in theory ofc, the game didn’t let me eat my summoned bears... thankfully...), so i ended up with nothing but goodberries and several animal summoning spells. then i proceeded to cheat my way through the game, which defeated the point sdfgsd, but it was still fun concept-wise

also made me spend too much time wondering if the entangle spell’s vines could be eaten. i mean you can’t eat the WHOLE thing but maybe you could like, munch on it a little, or try to slurp it up like a noodle. it wouldn’t be tasty, it wouldn’t be easy, and it most definitely would not be healthy, but it’s like. the principle of the thing

if ur asking yourself WHY i did that… well there aren’t THAT many D/ND-based CRPGS out there and i’d already played that one —several times, in fact— so i wanted to try something different :0

i mean it’s not THAT weird tbh, but he’s the only OC i can think of right now that soooooort of fits? and my brain is like, a tundra of creativity at the moment. a deep tar pool that absorbs all inspiration and drags it, kicking and screaming, to its viscous doom. well you get the idea. or i hope you do because i sure fucking don’t

ideal ending for one of my characters:

hmmmm for like, original fiction characters i more or less have all their endings planned out? most of them ARE ideal because i am fully in control of their destinies and i am also a softhearted lidle bich who prefers stories with relatively uplifting/happy endings. or tbh even the ones that aren’t technically happy are still ideal in terms of character arcs, development, etc

(i might be giving myself way too much credit there though skdjgbdksjfg)

and —though this is super unlikely and mostly just me deceiving myself at this point— i do want to publish what i’m working on rn, so talking about endings would be a spoiler for something that does not exist and probably never will outside of my idiot fool head. so i’m gonna talk about an old OC that i’m not doing anything with anymore!

her name was elina and her entire deal was that she came from a family of very powerful witches who owned a, uh, i guess you could call it an archive? or a library?? idk, it was just an ABSURDLY large collection of magic-related books, and it pretty much contained all known arcane knowledge (though come think of it, “all known arcane knowledge” can’t have been THAT much because the archive was just one room. a huge fucking monster of a room yeah but like. still just One)

so anyway, her family members were very dutiful + responsible when it came to the archivelibraryroom thing, but they were also too traditional for her tastes? like they didn’t bother practicing/using magic, or experimenting, or looking for anything outside of books; they only cared about written things, and even then they did nothing but get the Very Important Books, put them in the archivelibraryroom and forget about them completely

then elina ran into a group of other magic-users who were investigating a weird phenomenon in her hometown, and she asked her family about it, but they essentially were like “oh if it doesn’t affect the books we don’t care lol anyway it’s your turn to clean the archivelibrary now”

but yeah i’m sure y’all can tell where this is going kjdfgbd elina was the typical YA protag in that she was super rebellious, so she turned her back on her family and left her house to help the group of inconveniently yet stereotypically teenage magic-users, made friends, learned about magic, blah blah blah

the issue is that i never gave that story an ending? like the closest thing to it was a vague “uhhhh elina goes back home to find the archivelibrary is burning down and pulls some kind of mysterious water magic out of her ass to save it; then her family apologizes, they begin to respect her and she stays with them to keep caring for the archivelibrary, But With A Progressive Twist”

the issue was that after writing around two chapters i realized i didn’t actually Have a plot, so i didn’t know what story that ending would be... ending... and since i couldn’t think of anything + i wasn’t THAT attached to the characters anyway i just gave up on it

but now that i’m thinking of it again, just for the sake of ending the Story That Never Was, i feel like making her earn the respect of her family just because she saved the books + proved she actually cares about that too is, idk, shallow? out of character?

because she believed that her family’s fixation on history + Neatly Documented stuff was holding them back and making things worse for everyone. she left her home behind because her ideals re.: magic —that it should grow and change to fit the context + people’s needs, and not the other way around— were so strong

OOF THIS IS GETTING SO FUCKING LONG KSDJGB i’m just gonna stop here and say: elina’s new ideal ending is pretty much that while she ends up in friendly terms with her family —because, in spite of their fundamental disagreements, they never hurt her— she doesn’t go back home and chooses to travel around the world instead, helping people in whichever way possible and freely sharing her knowledge with anyone who’s willing to listen and, at the same time, learning from them

i mean, the concept’s not too original ksjdbg just something i thought of super quick, and that’s just a half-assed attempt at closure for an OC i made when i was like… 9

headcanons about my favs:

ok this one’s hard because i’m not into any like… fandom things right now? i haven’t found anything that rly interests me or that i could see myself being passionate about, which sucks because i do kinda miss being into stuff with Established Content :(

so i’ve been focusing on my OCs + original stories and such. and i’m not sure if OC headcanons count as headcanons because i control canon so technically everything i come up with IS canon. then again it’s headcanon too because it’s a canon from my head because that’s where ideas come from. okay wait i’m not making any cents here x

but uhh knowing me i might think of something right after publishing this, so if that happens i’ll come back and edit this post :0

also just saying but if any of y’all know of something i could get into then lmk, i’m open to suggestions! preferably free stuff though... i’m beset by capitalisms

a favorite scene that i loved:

i can’t remember any in particular right now, either from my #content or somebody else’s SDFKJGBDF god my mind 😔 well i mean i’m gonna be a little bit full of meself and say that i’ve written things that i really like, especially imagery-wise, but i Also want to publish those someday… like i’ve also written original/OC-related stuff that i don’t plan on publishing, but i’m not THAT proud of them tbh :/

i was —emphasis on was— trying to write a short story about jasna (one of my D-N/D OCs, a cleric of oghma) that never really went anywhere, but i did post a snippet on my OC blog, and that’s what i hate the least out of all my recent attempts at writing? so i’m just gonna put it here again ig sdfgs (not actually linking to the OC blog post because it’s kind of a mess rn, i need to fix the theme + clean it up a bit)

if you got this far and read all of this nonsensical verbal monster: i love u with all my heart and i would legitimately die for u.

#otherworldly whispers #hope it's OK that i'm mentioning u btw!!!#just so u know i wasn't like. ignoring you or anything dsfkgsd #also if i'd answered the question directly it'd have shown up in ur activity feed anyway right? so technically it's the same #... i think...#long post #im talking a LONG ass fucking post that's not a joke or an exaggeration this bitch is LONG #text heavy #food ment - . / (Kind of? not really????)#family ment - . /#fire ment - . /#again kind of not really #ask me to tag - . /#bc im not sure how else to tag this skjdfb

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antikang · 5 years

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⋆ 𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑹𝑶𝑫𝑼𝑪𝑰𝑵𝑮 — min yoongi. he/him. cismale. | was that matthew ‘matty’ kang i just saw in the hideaway lobby ? i hear the twenty-six year old spends most of their time being the area’s drug dealer , but i’ve always just seen them hanging out at the old boxing ring downtown. they live in apt 6A and i often see them in the halls. they always give me a vibe of exactly faded graffiti on concrete walls, an intimidating dragon tattoo taking up half his back, and cars set ablaze in empty parking lots.

𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔 :

fullname: matthew kang

nicknames: matty, matt -- but that one’s used rarely

age: twenty-six

d.o.b: i’ll let u guys know when i figure out his birthchart lol

zodiac: ^^

gender: cismale

sexuality: bisexual

occupation: drug dealer, his cover is a ‘legal dispensary’

𝒔𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝒎𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒂 :

matty doesn’t have any form of social media besides snapchat. which he barely uses, he doesn’t care much for apps besides the ones he can stream shows on.

he has a separate phone for any business transactions since it’s disposable. only a few people have his number, any new clients have to come from word of mouth.

𝒂𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄 :

oversized jackets down behind his knees, an abundance of necklaces, faded graffiti littering concrete walls, red knuckles, calculating quick math problems in his head, morning light peaking through half lidded curtains, street racing in the middle of the night, small laughs under his breath, a longing to be unknown, overly sweet coffee, a beat up walkman, cassette tapes from his childhood

𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒓 :

DRUG TW !! matty is a drug dealer but his profession is under the guise of a ‘legal dispensary’ so his front is weed, and having the permit to sell weed legally in a small shop in the city. it’s what he puts down for his taxes, and his job on important documents. however, behind the scenes it’s something else completely: the harder stuff. within the dispensary there’s another room for the harder stuff. a hidden little place within the building where they REALLY make their profit. they sell anything from molly to coke to pills. matty tends to stay away from dealing the SUPER hard stuff, and avoids it as much as he can.

𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 :

matty is actually a pretty cool guy ? despite his upbringing and what he does/did, he tends to get a long well with people -- he has to considering his job is on the more social side. he isn’t the most outgoing though, and he actually tends to stay in his lane. matty doesnt like being problematic and likes to keep most of his business private. he doesn’t dwell or partake in other’s business either unless he was forced into a situation. he’s a grown man with better things to do than meddle in drama. on the other side he can be a little intimidating, but that’s the surface after all his appearance is his armor so people know not to mess with him.

positive traits: organized, dependable, focused, loyal, kind, quick

negative traits: stubborn, fussy, cynical at times, blunt

𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒔 :

matty was born and raised in l.a but was kicked out of his home at seventeen when his parents -- especially his dad -- found out he was gay ( bi really ). he didn’t manage to graduate highschool because of this despite doing everything he could to. it wasn’t possible for him to attend school while couch surfing through his friend’s houses and sometimes a local youth shelter. it was through one of boys he met there that he found his way into the world of gangs and drugs and just trying to survive each day.

he became a runner for an l.a gang/mob called ssangyopa -- they’re actually all along the west coast and international but only in asia -- and dropped out of high school to be able to make money to find a way to live on his own. he got initiated into the gang quick for a variety of reasons, he was sly and easy to miss when he delivered packages, just another l.a teenager skateboarding through the city dropping off people’s goods, he was fast on his feet and managed to get out of many sticky situations one that included knocking over a cop to get away when he had drugs on him -- that was what rlly made the people he worked for in that location welcome him with open arms. and nearing his eighteenth birthday they took him to get a tattoo that each member has ( not the exact same tattoo since each member has a different one of their mascot ) which is a dragon. matty’s is this one here.

TW: GUNS

things were going well for him until one fateful night when he was twenty-two ( five years now with the gang ) that he got into a mess that should have never happened ( and i’ll probably make a separate post diving into this situation but right now it’ll be brief ), point is that he got into a situation where he had to pull out his gun and shoot the other guy before he got shot but it was self defense on his part because he rlly did try to control the situation that got out of hand. he didn’t get away on time, and got caught up by the cops, he thankfully wasn’t carrying any drugs on him, and was sentenced to prison for 3 years for assault with a deadly weapon. it was supposed to be 9 years but the judge pitied him and made it 3.

in prison he worked on getting his ged and highschool diploma as well as working out -- which he thought was a cliche but he partook in it anyway. he got into a few disagreements in there but !! he’s out now. he got out at 25 and the gang welcomed him back, however, matty wanted out but thats impossible, at least for him especially with a record now. so he got offered to at least move out of the city and run/deal for them in a new system that was created after weed got legalized which is here in seattle. it’s lowkey and perfect for him.

BUT YEAH OOF, anyways matty again is a chill guy, reserved a bit, but hes good conversation. no one knows he’s an ex-con ( unless hehe we plot !! ) but since he trained a lot in prison ( and i forgot to say that when he started in the gang he took boxing lessons to get some muscle on his noodle arms and protect himself ) he volunteers at a boys and girls club to help train kids to keep them off the streets and away from the shit he got caught up in.

his slang is funny too, he doesn’t call you bro or dude or anything like that. it’s either G or Daddy O, tbh it depends on who he’s talking too. when he talks it’s kinda fast or slow, depending on the mood he’s in.

𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 :

people who know he deals other stuff, he deals to ( 0/2): like i said, matty is very lowkey now and i think it’d be a little pointless if the ENTIRE apt complex knew he was a dealer that wasn’t the dispensary. so these 2 clients have his phone number for his dealing phone and he delivers to them sometimes.

a highschool sweetheart: LISTEN......there was a plot roaming around about an ex-con that when they get out a prison their highschool sweetheart was waiting for them to pick them up and .....i think it’d be cute....it doesnt have to be highschool sweetheart...maybe someone he met at the youth shelter? point is it have to be really plotted out and ofc IF your muse lived in l.a....actually, they’d have to be around his age too....man.....nvm i should erase this but i wont imma leave it right here

a friend with benefits ( 0/1): like i said....homeboy doesnt want to get TOO involved with a lot of people so there’s probs just one person he met, they hit it off, they mess around here and there but it’s nothing serious, sometimes a guy just needs a break and so they hit them up

a smoking/drinking buddy: (0/2): they hit up bars, have a drink or four or they hang out on the balcony and smoke the afternoons away, just really chill vibes

BUT UM THIS IS ALL I HAVE RN....please...if u have more wcs...lmk and hmu !!

#finally..this bitch is OUT #hide.intro

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thelifetimechannel · 6 years

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The Dave and Dirk log, for obvious reasons, was something I wanted to try very hard to get right. That meant although we drafted it together via msparp, as was our custom, I ended up overhauling it way more than any of our other combo walkaround logs. A few chunks did survive the transfer, though.

In other news, we’ve made a solemn pact to finish TLC over winter break, which is good because I’m running out of bonus content. Hopefully we’ll have some assets to show off soon. I’ve already seen a few; they’re very nice.

DIRK: Hey, dude. You did pretty well out there. DIRK: Didn't even die once. DAVE: twice in a day is my max im satisfied with keeping that record DAVE: even if getting machinegunned is rapidly becoming my "thing" DIRK: Seems we each have our respective "signature deaths". DIRK: Or at least it ain't a party until I get decapitated. That sure was something we needed to do again. DIRK: Just once, for old time's sake. DAVE: well that puts the nail in the meme coffin DAVE: any time you panic someones gonna tell you to keep your head on DAVE: like keeping your hair on except you know that shit aint going anywhere its probably shellaced DIRK: That shit is bolted to the floor. Did you know I walked around with a girly-ass pink tiara on my head this whole day and had no idea? DIRK: I had no idea. Couldn't feel a thing. DIRK: And people let me do that. DIRK: Can't fuckin' believe it. DAVE: oh DAVE: i figured you knew DIRK: I am less than pleased with my Skaia-ordained divine color scheme. DIRK: But I guess I have to live with it. It's part of the team aesthetic. DAVE: you could always change DIRK: Nah, with the tiara and tights ditched I have at least mitigated the enforced flamboyance. It's bearable. DIRK: I can't be the one dude out of uniform. Couldn't bear the shame. DAVE: my outfit is pretty sick ngl DAVE: sburb knows everyones secret desire is to have a cape DIRK: Unfortunately, mine isn't long enough to also make for a good tactical maneuver. DIRK: Not gonna lie, that was pretty funny. DAVE: if nothing else my attempts at combat can provide a source of humor in our lives DAVE: but honestly id be fine if my fighting days were over DAVE: i was never into it DAVE: rose on the other hand was obviously itching to beat people up DAVE: one of those 12 year olds who wants to get jumped in an alley to work out her suppressed anger DIRK: Maybe Skaia did make a few miscalculations in dumping your asses with your respective guardians. I think you'd get along well with Roxy and her cats, make her budget her time away from the alcohol. DIRK: ...in theory. DIRK: Rose can go a few rounds with me if she wants, we still need to sort out who has the rights to document our legendary journies. DAVE: ill plan your funeral DAVE: what kind of flowers do you want DIRK: ...there's different kinds? DAVE: damn thats right you grew up in waterworld DAVE: these choices matter DAVE: allegedly theres a thing called "flower language" DAVE: whether you can actually send someone a boquet telling them to meet you in the pit i dont know DIRK: Like, I get that, in theory, different kinds of flowers exist. But I fully anticipate any attempt on my part to conjugate in the language of said plants would end in my coffin declaring my hovercraft was indeed full of eels. DIRK: Maybe it'll have thorns on it. Or it'll be like the sixteen millions tons of green bullshit covering my land and making my nose itch. DAVE: probably DIRK: Worst case scenario, I'll pick out something orange and present to a prospective love interest and it'll mean something like "my brotherly passion for you knows no boundaries, and also no homo". DAVE: my bro wouldnt go for flower arranging DAVE: or pink tiaras DAVE: he was pretty uptight about the whole rah rah macho act DAVE: probably subscribed to alpha males weekly DAVE: which is weird considering DAVE: well DAVE: youre gay right DIRK: Uh. DIRK: Well. DIRK: My symbolic quest land is not covered in green bullshit, but I. DIRK: Happen to like watching birds, if you know what I mean. DIRK: Fuck, you probably don't know what that means. Jake and his goddamn thousand euphemisms. DAVE: cant say i do no DIRK: Nobody knows what it means but Jake. It's an old time epithet for being into dudes. DIRK: He knows all the old epithets, including some I suspect he made up. DAVE: so DAVE: thats a yes DAVE: in a roundabout way that includes birds DIRK: I've never denied it. DIRK: I'm just. DIRK: Not a huge fan of the word. Why, in this world post-society, do we need to confine ourselves to labels like "gay"? Such constraints were washed away from my world with the rest of the human race. DAVE: holy shit that was such a pretentious dodge DAVE: dont let rose hear you say that DIRK: Rose can hear all she likes. DAVE: but anyway DAVE: i wasnt asking to get up all in your business like SOME PEOPLE DAVE: who are so into getting into other peoples businesses theyre basically the fucking mafia or the irs DAVE: but DAVE: it explains some stuff DAVE: but on the other hand it doesnt DAVE: the way you raised me was kinda aggressively mainstream masculine enough that it wasnt something that ever seemed to come up as an option DAVE: [describe that type of culture and mindset better later, I KNOW what i mean but im tired rn lmao] DAVE: and anything outside of that id just brush off because it couldnt apply to me DAVE: and that went for pretty much everything that went against what you wanted for me DAVE: including that DIRK: And yet, here the man was, subconsciously shrieking his desire for floppy felt dong through, DIRK: What I guess you could call his art, for want of any other applicable word at all. God, the mental images are crawling up the insides of my skull like the Exorcist child, do I want to know? DAVE: probably not DAVE: guess trying to act peak male has its drawbacks DAVE: weirdly enough troll culture is obsessively hyperviolent but doesnt give a shit about sexuality DAVE: they dont see the difference most of the time i guess DAVE: and so like DAVE: maybe it rubs off on you because in some ways that kind of makes sense DAVE: but after so long its hard to know what i feel and what it means because i spent so long ignoring it DAVE: so i guess i was wondering DAVE: if you had anything that might help with that DAVE: or if youre also trapped in this whirling screaming maelstrom of bullshit DAVE: while kinsey sits in the eye of the storm laughing DIRK: Wait, wait, wait. DIRK: You're coming to me. DIRK: For advice. DIRK: Do you know what a laughable hurricane of disaster my interpersonal life has been? DIRK: Like, in a weird way, I'm kind of honored, especially since about five hours ago you were scared shitless to be around me, but. DIRK: I'm standing here and waving my credentials in the air just to display how I don't fucking have any. My degree is a sham and my hands are empty except for a crudely scribbled on piece of construction paper. DAVE: are you suggesting theres a gay university DAVE: where you study bird watching DIRK: Do I look like a man who's been to college? DAVE: fair DAVE: but like DAVE: your friends know DAVE: how did you broach the subject there DIRK: I might as well have been dating a Yoko Ono for the devastation it wreaked on our friend group, so yeah, it was a little hard to ignore. DIRK: Compounded by the fact some smartass from Gay University was using my social circle for romance geometry homework. DIRK: It wasn't even a love triangle so much as a love roundabout. DAVE: ok but thats just because you were a dipshit not a gay dipshit DAVE: they were chill about the first part right DIRK: Thanks. DIRK: I mean... Roxy always seemed disappointed. DAVE: luckily i dont think anyones waiting in line for me DAVE: i guess im blowing it out of proportion DAVE: i dont think anyone will MIND DAVE: no one did about rose and kanaya DAVE: didnt even question the vampire bit which goes to show what our lives are like these days DAVE: like ok our outfit has vampires now DAVE: thats a thing that we have DAVE: if i say oh hey i might be bisexual theyll just say sure pull up a chair at the acronym table DAVE: the only one who might be weird about it is john DAVE: but hed be just as weird if i told him id changed my favorite color hes just like that DAVE: the only person its really a big deal for is me DIRK: Jane was a little bit like that. I'm pretty sure the only reason she had to object was because she found out the day I made a move on her crush. DIRK: It might just be growing up in a household where you're not regularly fighting for your life, and thus what genders are kissing whom has the space to be higher on your priority list. DAVE: that aint anyones priority these days DAVE: im prepared to acknowledge the concept that hey maybe everyone elses lives dont revolve around me and my personal drama or self revelations might have some merit at least as a hypothesis DAVE: when i met kid english he kept going on about how i was the most important person and everyone else was side characters DAVE: and maybe ive acted like that sometimes DIRK: Yeah, like you alone are the one responsible for everyone around you. DAVE: and maybe ive acted like i think that way too sometimes DAVE: ive been wrong about people DAVE: people i care about people i shouldve known better DAVE: i was wrong because i wanted to believe things that matched how i wanted the world to be DAVE: things that made it easier for the story i was telling myself DAVE: i dont think kid english meant to call me on it but damn DIRK: Reality is, after all, something we construct for ourselves. DIRK: I think maybe I knew that all along when I surfaced for air inbetween shoving my head as far up my ass as it would go. DIRK: Or maybe that's just what I try to tell myself in hindsight. DAVE: well if it takes a hyperactive 12 year old version of the final bosss creepy hero worship of me to make a point i guess thats not the least subtle way the universe has sent me a message lately DIRK: You want unsubtle? Let me tell you about my damn planet quest. DAVE: haha DAVE: i didnt have to do much of my quest because im invisible DAVE: thanks mom DIRK: My denizen practically sat me down like it was my life coach and growled in my ear about improving my communication skills with a guy I told to go fuck himself not eighteen hours prior. DIRK: So while I'm glad SBURB has a vested interest in me repairing my friendships, playing electroshock death DDR with him was a little on the nose. DAVE: maybe getting shot again wasnt that bad DAVE: so weve all learned our life lessons good job team DIRK: Exactly. Can we wrap this up now? Can we please go rest? DIRK: I'm so exhausted I haven't even noticed I'm still hungover. DAVE: sure thing DAVE: but if i need tips on leaping out of a closet to intimidate passerby i might text you DIRK: I mean, I can try. As long as you don't ask me for dating tips. That, I definitely shouldn't be helping you with. DIRK: Go talk to your sister for that. DIRK: ...wouldn't she, by the transitive property of siblings, also be my sister? DAVE: yeah i guess DAVE: but theres no way in hell im asking rose for dating advice DAVE: on her first date which she refused to admit was romantically oriented she got wasted in anticipation forgot to show up and then fell down the stairs DIRK: Oh my god. DAVE: she tries to look like shes got her shit together but its a lie DAVE: if you find my corpse floating on lolar in the next few hours dont let the truth die with me DIRK: Why are we like this? DIRK: Is there actually something hardwired into our DNA that predisposes us to being disasters? DIRK: But, that aside. DIRK: I won't object if it's me you come to talk to. DAVE: ill hold you to it DAVE: and if you ever want to publicly you admit you DAVE: "enjoy birdwatching" DAVE: in less vague and evasive terms DAVE: ill have your back DIRK: Thanks.

#bonus content

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lrugloyak · 4 years

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"Scary” thriller dream, part 1/3.

I could never seem to copy this out from my phone, and I’m pretty sure it’s bc it’s too long LMAO.

Disclaimer: it’s really not that scary huhu

Scary thriller dream. At a hotel with my dad, him for work, me just tagging along. Meet counterparts of what seem like characters from La Casa de Papel, Tokyo and Berlin most notable. I go along with let's call her Tokyo na lang din haha to her room, we hang out a few days, reassure my dad I'm okay. Turns out there's a school, I study there a while. We have events too. I'm classmates with a cute guy who's silent but hot and mysterious, wouldn't be my type irl maybe but imagine a Berlin! Come on I love Berlin. So he was my classmate to that class with a prof whose counterpart is my Comm teacher rn, who isn't conventional at teaching like strict but not really alam mo yun. Once lunch is over, there's no way around it. There was a prom. Havin fun with them, met up w other people. Venue was big -- ballroom, beachside, really nice photo booth. Everyone having fun. People around me were counterparts of both SISC people I was less close to (Jose T, Sharrey, etc.) and Sex Ed. people. I was some sort of arranger din. One point I leave the partay to go up to Tokyo's room on the 32nd floor. Midway on the elevator, I realize I grabbed the wrong phone with a yellow case. Go back down and wait for the person who got mine, I was accompanied by Tokyo. Counterpart of Viv from Sex Ed but giving serious Tammé from GLOW vibes. Talk a bit in abandoned cafeteria about my actual life I think, but I didn't feel it. Just felt the heavy feeling. We part without saying proper goodbyes, nothing cryptic. I go back upstairs, without Tokyo. Getting something to give my dad; counterpart of passport I think that he super needed. Might have been what he was waiting for, now we could go home, but I didn't want to. Shit I forgot all the characters' personalities. There was even a counterpart for Crowley but I can't remember who na. And the tone really shifted around this part. Seemed super real. Anyway I was still in the room with a good friend na girl and a good friend na guy (let's call them Stockholm and Alec bc major similarities both ends), and I was so bent on leaving, more to show my dad I did something notable and less to do with going home. I get these parang flashbacks of times I was with Berlin and Tokyo, sometimes with Stockholm and a few other people who had SUCH GREAT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT I JUST CAN'T REMEMBER HAHAHA but okay in one I was with them, and it was like that social event happened before na, but the point was that people were different. Tokyo was flirting with Berlin, I wasn't jealous but I just thought he was bad news. Kept telling her let's go somewhere else to get her away from him, but she didn't want to. Drugs and smoking other stuff were a bit involved. Worst part was I left her with him bc to some extent I trusted them both, but I was cryin lmao I think I was cryin in real life too but tyg I went back to where I left off after waking up a bit. Basta shet setting was so good this dream -- gave you the feeling it was such a big, comfortable party place full of new things, but kept reminding you it was all just a hotel and you're kind of a prisoner. Stockholm tells me let's just go. Shifts back to present day with them. Starting to really hate comfortable life here, so processing the pros and cons of aftermath of giving my dad back his document. In my head lang; had the urge to not have my friends in my room then. Then this laser passes through the floor. It was an opaque, white room, furnished, and I have no clue how a laser passed through haha. But there was one, almost 2 as if it bounced off the ceiling and back somewhere onto the floor. I whispered step away step away, kept on going, didn't realize it was me. A big bullet blasts way through, unexpectedly, the ceiling then the floor. I see a combat boot peeking through. I scream step away to no one in particular as the hole from the ceiling bursts open bigger for two men to jump in, one of which was a counterpart of Denver, who looked totally unfazed. Counterpart of Alyssa (not preggers lol) comes through the door and stands in the corner, after having seemingly brushed through all the stuff. Ah I'm starting to remember. The paper had important information which was what I thought the bad people were after. It was a list of names of I'm not sure. Felt like the October List actually. Three-page document, first 2 made it back to back on first sheet. So there they didn't threaten or tie down anyone, so for the longest time, even though I knew they were bad guys, since I knew them, I thought we weren't the victims. For a while, we were all just talking where it was supposed to make everything chiller, but evidently the fear in the air was growing. Stockholm is about to go outside without having asked permission and it didn't look like she needed it, so I told her na rin first by whispering then out loud my dad's name, implying she gave it to him.

#kylle #dreams were all i ever knew #phone cleanout #december2020 #february2021

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isaaxor · 7 years

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What’s really happening in Mexico City rn

Mind you, all of the things you'll find written in here are from my own personal experiences, and what I've been able to gather on my own or from several media, I've tried to apply the best of my judgment but, in the end, this is my personal point of view. If you happen to be from another part of Mexico I'd love to hear your story. And if you think "But, why do I even care about this? This is an english speaking site" maybe you're right but I still thought it would be good to reach out a little, just in case.

Also, I apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes you might find ahead.

Truth is, the situation here has been pretty surreal. I was not born yet in 1985 when the first massive earthquake struck Mexico City and, honestly, I've lived a pretty good and comfortable life in this batshit crazy place of a city for 25 years, the only places where I've ever seen such devastation, in some way, have been the news and movies, all which always take place somewhere so far away from home.

Well, it's been so odd, and difficult, to see all these things happening only a few minutes away from my apartment, a few which were places that I knew personally and now they are completely gone. In fact, ever since yesterday my reality was definitely twisted in one way or another, once I was out of the building where I work at, hearing the ambulances and helicopters ram through the smoke clouds and all the rumors from people who managed to get a decent connection on their phones "this and this place fell to the ground!!!” but being unable to know for certain, it's been wild.

I don't have the words to express how fucking lucky I was; my entire family is fine, my home was not damaged at all -hell, not even a book was outta place- I still have my job and basic services like water, electricity and internet, obviously. With that said, I thought it would be selfish of me if I didn't go out and lend a hand, well, all I can say from the time I was out there is:

The government has done very little to aid the population for the first 30 hours after the earthquake it was the citizens nonetheless who donated all the supplies, packed them and sent them to different places, it's been them who led most of the rescue brigades and dug through the ruins in order to help those who are buried and it was also them who provided medical attention. Fortunately, the response from the people has been amazing, such, that there's no more help needed inside of the city, all areas are covered, however people in rural towns still need plenty of help.

Also kudos to all the help that has been sent from around the world like Spain, America, Japan, Israel, Panamá, El Salvador Perú, Colombia, Costa Rica, Chile and Honduras.

There's also a tiny but significant part of the population who has been dedicated to saving all the affected animals. Some people seem to be upset by this but if there are dogs risking their lives for human lives then, why not simply shelter them for the time being?

At the same time, people have been told NOT to go out if they got nothing to do outside their homes so they don't block the streets or overcrowd a rescue area. Not only that but there have been some reports of looting, scamming and robberies at gunpoint so it's highly recommended not to leave your home (if it's still in good condition of course) since it's chaos overall. Talk about douchebags.

The next presidential election is less than a year away, citizens have been demanding that at least 20% of the money destined to advertising should be donated to rebuild and fix the damages caused by the earthquake, mind you, that money comes from the citizens' taxes. All the political parties, except for one, already expressed that they are NOT willing to donate, they say "We are out of time to make any kind of modifications in the law and the law says that redirecting that money to anything else but elections would be a crime, we need to respect the law." ...Really dawg? We all know that big part of that amount goes straight to your pockets. As politicians, we didn't expect anything from you but as human beings, we thought you would still have some empathy left.

The fallen buildings were both newish ones and very old structures. Sadly, it seems like there won't be any kind of repercussions for the people who gave the thumbs up to built these paper-like buildings which lacked the right papers to even be raised in the first place AND for the people who gave permission to still inhabit the old ones which might have been already damaged back from '85.

Even if the death toll does not compare to the one from '85, it's still sad to see that even after 30 years we are still NOT prepared to face a natural disaster that is so common in this part of the country. The annual drill is a joke, tbh, one drill a year is imo not enough and people don't even take it seriously. Likewise, even tho there are several alarms installed around the city not all of them work properly or they don't do it on time, everybody can agree that at the time of the earthquake there was not a single alarm ringing.

Obviously, classes are dismissed until next monday, depends really on how the situation progresses, altho plenty of people will be working normally tomorrow. I'm just begging at this point that any aftermath won't be nearly as bad or cause little to no damage to the already weak structures all over the country. As for myself, I got my backpack ready with food, a lamp, medicines, my important documents among other things.

If you, for some reason, want to donate to the cause, please, please, please, investigate thoroughly first!!! Like I said, scammers are ready to take advantage of the situation and anyone can easily post fake images about donating but with their own account number. I cannot stress this enough, only donate to trusty foundations.

I always considered myself as a cold-hearted person, always indifferent towards stuff like this, but it pains me greatly to see the city I grew up in suddenly in a situation that I thought I would only see on tv (first the massive floodings due to Irma and now this) hearing about all the people trapped under the rubble and not being able to do anything about it and witnessing people ready to take advantage of the misery of others. I'm also a little relieved, however, seeing how most people answered the call in one way or another, all I can say is that mexicans are always willing to raise up no matter what kind of shit we go through, Mr. Trump, I'm looking at you. Hopefully, things will improve soon...

#prayformexico #mexico #ayudacdmx #earthquake #september #hope #prayer #rebsamen #politicians #cdmx #2017

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noodledragonoverloard · 7 years

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The Stars are Red.: (Onlookers)

A/N.: So yea, I’m back with The Stars are Red. Thankfully the muses were on my side for once and let me get this chapter out before the end of fall break.

Pairing: Scotty/ Reader (It’s getting there)

Warning: You legit might wanna kill Uhura rn (and probably the next chapter too. ‘XD)

Prompt: Slight ‘Jim’ prompt, no lyrics in this one

Summary: After hearing your voice over the loudspeakers singing, Uhura is 1000% on your radar. You just so happen to have intell as to where she is. It’s not your fault ‘Jim’ got in the way.

One would expect Leonard McCoy to be fearless at this point. If a man could survive living around their biggest fear for years, repeatedly going back to it after multiple near-death encounters, it seems like a fair assumption. But that assumption is far from the truth. Allowing himself to be a part of this five year mission has subjected him to more fearful thoughts and encounters than the medical officer could ever foresee.

Yet, there was one thing that truly brought more fear to the Southern Doctor than space could ever conjure up to spite him. That fear was you. More specifically, you being on a warpath.

Sadly, fate wasn’t on his side today.

Having just been annoyed by the tenth red shirt in the last hour, the doctor was most certainly at the end of his rope. The nurses on hand, most of which McCoy signed on personally a few days prior, somehow found a way to keep the CMO at bay through their scuttling around the med bay. Most of the procedures, he knew, were the routine checkups that were required in a few days.

Uhura was no different. She was taken into a room to do the regular procedures. Claire, one of the newer nurses, was glad to put her info into the database. All of her numbers were fantastic, save for a slightly elevated heart rate, which could easily be filed under as simply being nervous. When they left the room, it was clear to the nurse that she was correct in that assumption.

Leonard should’ve seen the warning signs as soon as you came in. Your smile was tighter than normal, clearly fake to anyone looking hard enough. Even though he couldn’t hear you talking, it was clear from Christine’s body language that, whatever you said, was something worthy of keeping an eye on you for. Yet, the longer you stayed in the facility, the easier he found it to forget to keep you in his sights. A mistake he instantly began to regret as soon as your target came into your view.

Uhura was swift in racing away from you, yet you were right on her heels. The bay became a slew of moving obstacles, most attempting to get out of the way as the realization of what was happening around them kicked in.

Putting your tactical expertise to good use, you watched Uhura’s body closely. Even with how random her movements looked to the outsider, you saw the thoughts that went into each movement the woman made. Each sway was a calling card, each side-step a small piece of a bigger game plan. Though, no matter how close you scrutinized her moves, you couldn’t find a single hint to the bigger picture.

That was the case, until you nearly ran into ‘Jim’.

The nurses and Leonard watched on in a daze as you both shouted at each other on opposite sides of the ‘captain’.

“You jerk!” You bellowed out, attempting to reach the fawn skinned woman, “I trusted you!”

Raising a fabric wrapped arm, Uhura used it to block your attack as she stammered out, “I- I didn’t do it! Honest I didn’t!”

Blocking ‘Jim’s’ arm with ease, you allowed the arm to fall limply to his side. You had more important matters at hand. “Yeah right. And Andorians and Vulcans smile and sing kumbaya together on weekends.” You spit out, pushing ‘Jim’ towards Uhura, all in hope that it might cause her to lower her guard.

Needless to say, it didn’t work. With each advance you sought, Uhura countered in her own time, all the while maintaining the mobile barricade between your bodies. Whatever argument you had before had dwindled down to throwing petty insults at the other, most of which were a slew of different dialects. The only way to truly describe the amount of rage flowing through your veins at the moment was ‘seeing red’.

You were so committed to your argument that your brain didn’t register anything else. That was, until someone chose to be stupid enough to use their arms to keep you at bay.

Through your huffing and cursing, it was clear that whoever was holding you back was a man, his chest pressed to your back to better help his arms gain enough leverage to maintain their hold on you. Rearing your head back you realized that he was a fair bit taller than you’d expected, feeling his throat buckle slightly instead of the nose you were intending to break. Unfortunately, the attempt at getting free only ended up with a harsher hold and a soft warning growl in your ear.

Whipping your head to the side, you intended to make the man regret ever trying to hold you back. With teeth bared in a sneer and eyes blazing with fury, you threw out the first words that came to thought in a rumbling whisper.

“Don’t test me. You won’t like how it ends.”

“Oh, really?” He whispered harshly, his voice brought down a few octaves from your attack, “Yet yer the one bein held back.”

As the man finished speaking, you finally registered the captor’s red shirt and deep brown eyes that stared back into your own. Even with how deep his voice was, his Scottish accent was easy to recognize. Forcing yourself to look down, it was made quite clear to the scotsman that you registered what you had done by the soft blush and whimper that refused to be held back.

“Ya back now lassie?” With a soft nod, Scotty let go of you, not catching the way you shivered as his hand slowly pulled away from around your waist.

“Hey Scotty,” Uhura called out, peeking out from behind ‘Jim’s’ back, all the while making sure not to place too much weight on the preoccupied doctor.

“Morning lass. Now, if I may ask, what da bloody hell went on?”

With enough decency to look bashful, the young woman muttered out, “We got in a fight over something that we could’ve talked out. We even pulled poor ‘Jim’ into it.”

“Ay, I can see that.” Giving you a glance over his shoulder, he walked over towards the battered skeleton. “Poor lad’s shirt is hanging off. An he’s still pantsless, the stook oughta know by now how to act in front of so many bonnie lasses. Wouldn’t ya agree Bones?”

Looking toward the man, it was clear that he wasn’t listening. Christine had all of his attention, currently discussing a procedure that involved too many complex words and acronyms for you to follow comfortably. Both were too immersed in their own world of medical jargon to notice the multiple glances that Uhura, Scotty, and yourself exchanged. For the few brave souls that opted to watch the whole duration of the pointless game of cat and mouse were experiencing something that was often spoken of in hushed whispers among the crew.

‘The Enterprise’s Wrath’ was plotting an attack.

A name that the Scotsman, the Communications officer, and yourself donned as a joke during ‘The Mighty Prank War’ was one that a fair portion of the crew chose to keep calling you ‘in secret’. It was a fitting name at the time, for three commonly laid-back crew members that hid their true knack at pranking and evasion unless they chose to hone in on a victim.

Most can still find a picture or two on the immediate database of the carnage that was Jim’s room.

Taking a silent vote full of raised eyebrows and squints full of reproach, it was decided. Bones gets to walk away, only by sway of ice cream and movie night from Uhura’s side.

Since the covert, and more amusing, option was now off the table, you opted for a more abrupt approach. Slinking behind the southern man, you found his attention on a datapad, clearly displeased with whatever was written on it. With no time to think your actions through, you whipped an arm around the doctor, only to pull back just as fast when his datapad was in your grasp.

“Give it back little lady!” He growled lowly, keeping his hand outstretched for the offending object.

“Hmmm. . . “ was all you quipped out, smirk evident as you pretended to think it over, “Why would I do that? If the ever diligent Bones was occupied with whatever is on it, then why would I give it back before I knew what was written on it?”

With every step he took forwards, you sprung back an equal distance. Skimming over the words, it was painfully obvious that the words comprised of a medical document. With diligent flicks of your finger, you got deeper and deeper into the letter. All of a sudden,both you and your smile froze, much to the confusion of the now captive audience. With nothing but a glance back at the man, you lifted the document as if it weighed led.

Wasting no time, McCoy took the object back as quickly as you had taken it.

Making sure to get in your space, the doctor leaned down to your ear before he spat out “You gonna leave my stuff alone when I tell you?”

Voiceless, all you could manage was a soft nod, too in shock to respond accordingly.

“You better.”

Opting to recognize Scotty rather than you, he tilted his head towards the scotsman, making it clear that he was listening.

Gathering his thoughts as rapidly as he could, he sputtered out, “Eh, tha captain says that we av’ta go to a banquet tomorrow. Says that it’s for ‘diplomatic purposes’. You too, Uhura.”

“Can’t make it. Got too much stuff to do here.” Seeing that as being the end of the discussion, McCoy strode over to his office, Christine close on his heels.

Huffing out in frustration, Scotty’s eyes met Uhura’s, clearly asking her opinion as to what to do.

“Were they expecting anyone expressly?”

“I donae think so, save for the captain and Spock. We were what the captain thought would be best at the party.” He acquiesced, adding in a shrug for good measure before adding, “He only asked for me to tell the lad because I was on my way for a physical.”

“Well, I was about to head back on shift anyways, I’ll see what he wants us to do.” Was all she deemed necessary to end the conversation.

On her way to the door, her eyes met your own, making it clear that you were meant to follow her. Giving him a courtesy nod, you rushed out before your blush could be made evident. As you fell into stride with her, you saw her fingers flying over her datapad, no doubt talking to Jim about what to do.

Once you both reached the turbolift she commented,“I’m vouching for you.”

“W-what?”

“I’m vouching for you to Jim. And it looks like he’s for it so far.”

“But I don’t even have a dressy enough dress to go to a banquet in!” you almost shrieked at the other officer.

Choosing to reply with a side-eye as her device pinged again, her body language as a whole screamed ‘you don’t think I’ve already had this planned out from the start’.

Pausing the turbolift, she canceled both of your intended paths, choosing instead to enter the lowest inhabited deck floor. The same floor that allowed people on and off the station. As she activated it again, she gave you a smirk that made it clear that you were both going to the party and going to go all out with the dress options you could find.

With a huff, the words that you had hoped to never hear come from her lips met the air, with an amusement fit for an overenthusiastic torturer.

“Let's go shopping.”

All you could do was pray that the three hours left docked would go swiftly.

#Bones #Uhura #Reader/ Scotty #You be wild #and fierce #don't tick off reader #bones is mad #Deep voice Scotty must exist #Uhura is friend goals #(uhura is also low-key torturer)#'Jim' appearance #med bay #@impalaanddemons

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