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jordyn-degas · 2 years

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Never again.

Characters: Trafalgar Law x fem! reader

Warnings: first piece for Law bc I couldn't hold it in anymore - he's literally consuming every single brain cell; light smut - MDNI; depiction of cuts, bruises and blood; reader is held by Caesar; Law takes care of you - in more ways than one 😏; slow paced in a way; emotions and feels; implied decision of self-sacrifice; reader is sold to the highest bidder; restriction of free will; double entendre between Law & reader - men and their feelings; i think i described it heavier than it actually is - sorry 😅; moody and broody? absolutely lovable. Spoilers: if you haven't reached Punk Hazard and Dressrosa, you will stumble upon new characters under the cut. Read at your own risk.

italic font - past; regular font - present

Taglist: i'm tagging you in everything at this point @uchihabbynic 😅 i need you in my corner since i started down the One Piece path 🤤

Softness of familiar fingers brushed along the skin of your back carefully, goosebumps peeking through at the care with which you were handled. Along the trail of a touch that was not foreign anymore, after six horrendous months, came the thin, translucent fabric that has been adorning your body all this time. Cuts and bruises, unorthodox surgeries and an inhuman amount of tests defined the life you had been living in captivity.

On the God forsaken island of Punk Hazard where a mad scientist resided, the author of each scar that was going to serve as a reminder for the rest of your life, a seed of hope developed with each passing day, blooming into moments of peace, comfort and quiet. It was all because of a man that was entrusted with keeping you alive enough to carry on with being a subject, armed with medicine and gauze along with a pair of gray eyes that seemed lost somewhere in time, in a point he was unable to return – pure coldness masking anger and sadness, a wall built on a life that hasn’t been kind.

“Don’t sleep on your back tonight.” Trafalgar Law, the infamous Surgeon of Death and one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea, broke the comfortable silence while carefully wrapping the gauze around your arm.

“I’ll sleep on the side.” tired sigh slipped past your chapped lips, hooded gaze eyeing the monitor on the other side of the room where it displayed vital signs that were barely above the limit – monitored day and night.

“Caesar went in again.” he concluded watching how your shoulders caved in as if trying to hide whatever gruesome cut was in the front.

“It’s fine.” hand lazily reached for the oversized shirt resting on the pillow, one belonging to a subject that has been dead for more than three months now. “I’m so used to it by now that I don’t feel the pain as much.”

Fingers dipped into the abrasive material from all the clumsy hand washing, patches that have been sown up again and again pushing against the skin as a reminder that this has probably been worn by many before you. Looking into the lap, sudden shame bloomed seeing your legs completely riddled with old and new scars, damaged skin peeking from under the shorts, its disgusting aspect crawling upwards across the navel where it was met with various vertical and horizontal cuts that reached around your middle.

Pulling at the shirt to bring it closer, the warmth of Law’s hand engulfed your wrist, freezing immediately feeling the most skin to skin contact you’ve had in months. A sense of urgency pooled into a silent plea, tension being released through the pads of his fingers, as if silently telling you to wait, to stop and accept yet again his help. As he walked around the bed on which you were sitting, arms quickly shot upwards, hands clasping at the shoulders in an attempt to hide what was now one of the most deep, long and wide cuts your chest had survived. It was far from being the first time in which Law has seen you completely bare from head to toe, needed when the damage was too great to stumble over such mundane concerns – he was a doctor after all.

“Tch! How is this fine, Y/N-ya?” Law grumbled with utmost annoyance, chair grazing harshly against the floor while being brought in front of you. “You’re hemorrhaging.”

“I’m not made of glass, Trafalgar.” bark but no bite being all that you could muster at almost 1 am, after a long day of being a guinea pig.

Holding back a reply fit for the smart ass you labeled him as, Law’s jaw clenched shut watching the woman that fought the pain right before his very eyes. Six full months of constantly providing postoperative care, trying to the best of his ability to place back together what others broke, at first considering it to be a tedious request from Caesar. That until he allowed himself to get to know the mysterious patient no one was allowed to talk to, you so casually striking up a conversation while barely able to breathe – kind eyes and soft smile.

Unknowingly to both of you, as each day passed, seeds were planted somewhere deep into hearts that deemed themselves unfit to live freely, to know peace or love, to feel care or happiness. Extra medicine was being sneaked under Law’s jacket, followed by books, warm tea and food – hours passing by with ease when in the presence of each other. There was no need for conversation, being in the same room making the air of this hellhole of an island a bit more breathable.

“Y/N-ya.” Law’s deep, soothing voice pooled into your ears with calmness, gaze falling on his open palm in which a roll of gauze waited. “Let me.”

“This time is really bad, Law.” defeated whisper made its way out of the dryness of your mouth, head raising, gaze being met with the familiar pair of gray eyes in which you found comfort and compassion. “I’m horrendous, disgusting, a sight that would ..”

“You’re not.” bitter sentence being cut off abruptly, Law’s proximity and intense stare causing for your arms to slowly drop on each side, breasts exposed to the coolness of the room as his focus switched from your face and on the bleeding cut that stretched from under the neck, stopping in the middle of the abdomen – for the first time since being examined by him, blood rushed into the cheeks, causing you to blush profusely. “Have you finished the book I brought last week?”

Calloused hand found its purchase against your cheek, powerful slap causing the neck to snap painfully, the taste of blood coating your taste buds. Bare feet felt relief while touching the expensive carpet adorning the stone flooring of Dressrosa’s Royal Palace. Fingers wrapped tightly against the two blades you held, entire body trembling from head to toe with anger and fear, jaw clenched shut in an attempt to fight the harsh reality.

“Bought for my free use, indeed.” Don Quixote Doflamingo’s vicious chuckle bounced off the walls, lips and teeth morphing into a malicious grin. “Worth all the money for this moment right here.”

Horror and shock adorned Law’s features, Sea Prism Stone shackles binding him to the royal chair, hands balled up into tight fists when met with Doflamingo’s most prized possession in this war against him – you. Chest began heaving at the sight, forcing himself to remain as calm and calculated as possible, trying to ignore the all too familiar instinct of protecting you in favor of putting the pieces of the puzzle together, unable to slip past the constant thought that bloomed into both of your minds: a year and two months since being sold by Caesar only to find each other here.

Tears pricked at your eyes seeing Law so close, yet so far, pangs of guilt booming into the chest knowing you have not kept the promise made before your departure.

I promise to stay safe until you come after me.

Evil laughter filled the room, Doflamingo and his acolytes watching with delight as two people representing each other’s weaknesses were the prisoners of his mercy.

“Did you really think that Caesar didn’t know about you two?” Doflamingo’s tonality carrying mockery from beginning to end, fingers dancing into the air as your arms suddenly raised with the blades in a position to attack. “He gave me everything I needed to know, to use when the time was right.”

Law was still stuck between past and present as he could not see, through the teared clothes, all the scars that once mapped out all the pain you’ve been through. The woman he met in Punk Hazard completely disheveled, beyond repair at first glance, bore no resemblance to the one standing before his eyes. Looking past the dried up blood as a result from the slap, skin was glowing with a smoothness that has never been there, no longer sickly and battered, lips pinched with a healthy color, cheeks dusted with the bright blush of life — one he hasn’t seen in so long it had his heart race at the sight.

Even with the eerie calmness Law seemed to be displaying, you knew exactly what he was thinking with the way his gray gaze was doing its rounds up and down your figure. After the time spent together, after all the conversations and nights where you thought no one knew about, you could easily read the man that took up all the space available in your cold heart. The broken woman he got to see in any shape and form was no longer there — healthy from head to toe, used because she was doomed to fall in love with him.

“What did you do?!” a dangerous growl ruptured from the back of Law’s throat when met with a stupidly low temperature in the room along with your bare body only wrapped in a flimsy sheet – Caesar was punishing you.

“I-I r-r-refu-used-d-d ..” teeth clashed against each other repeatedly, violent chills shaking your form while sitting on the bed all balled up. “ .. I f-f-fought ..”

Tears grazed the sensitive skin of your cheeks, blood concentrating into keeping a weak body warm, anger and disappointment lacing the voice of the woman to which Law rushed a split second. For the first time since being here, he decided to risk his own plan for this unknown woman that worked its way under his skin in less than a month since meeting her – 7 months later since he first laid eyes on you, warmth, care and an unnamed feeling gnawed mercilessly at his soul.

Judging by the way risky purple pinched parts of your body, Law knew the shock of hypothermia was close to hitting. The warmth that engulfed you at his proximity called for rash decisions, sheet dropping as you wrapped around his body as a moth drawn to bright light. Tensing briefly at the contact, Law relaxed immediately thereafter, feeling your arms sneaking under the jacket, face buried deeply into the crook of his neck, pleasured sigh escaping feeling the desperately craved warmth. Cold lips brushed past the pulse point that was throbbing, his eyes dipping along the curvature of your back and quickly switching their focus when met with the waistband of the only piece of fabric covering the lower part of your body.

“‘m sorry.” shaky whisper laced with sadness graced the silence as, instinctively, Law’s arms wrapped around you tightly. “m so cold.”

“Don’t worry.” Law’s own whisper brushed past your ear, masking the foreign satisfaction he felt of having you in his arms.

Not even realizing what was happening, warmth suddenly tugged at your skin, feeling how life rushed throughout the body, able to hear again heartbeats that seemed to not be there a few seconds ago. Feet left the floor, legs wrapping around your savior’s waist in an attempt to absorb even more from the essence of life. Head raised slightly, you were met with a foreign room, eyes coming in contact with a wall filled with bookshelves, desk holding perfectly organized papers to the side and a closet. There was cozy light, senses pinched with the scents of Punk Hazard’s winter and pristine freshness, detecting with ease the faint citrus smell of a familiar hand soap — Law’s room.

“Let me.” Law spoke calmly as your feet touched the floor, gray eyes completely focused on yours, arms raising on their accord on which he slid one of the fresh t-shirts that rested on the bed. “You’re sleeping here.”

“What about Caesar?” shiver ran across the length of your spine at the mere thought of not being found in your usual room and putting Law in a danger neither needed. “What about you?”

Looking through hooded eyes, Law chose to answer with silence, walking up to the desk and placing his jacket on the back of the chair before sitting on it with a quiet sigh. Without another word, taking his entire demeanor as a hint, bare feet slapped against the floor but not in the direction he thought. Law was met with a stretched out arm, palm wide open, eyes falling on the stitches surrounding your wrist.

The soft smile adorning your features had yet another knot form into the throat, one that began appearing quite often whenever he would hear your carefree laugh despite the situation in which you have been for months. Reluctantly, Law placed his hand into yours, both knowing that whatever has been building in the darkness of Caesar’s laboratory could not end with rainbows and fireworks. However, who doesn’t crave the sweet taste of happiness and peace from time to time?

“You need to rest.” was the only sane thing Law managed to say, trying to ignore how good you were capable of looking in his t-shirt, taking off his signature hat and throwing it on the desk.

“So do you.” soft notes filled with warmth and care pricked his senses, mattress dipping as you both slid under the covers.

It was one of those moments in which everything ceased to exist — Law forgetting to put up his reinforced walls meant to keep people out, allowing himself to care, to feel, much more than ever before, while you forgot that maybe tomorrow you’ll meet the end Caesar has threatened you with, grasping at a hope that came in the form of a broody, grumpy man that did nothing but to show the other face of humanity.

Tears bubbled into your eyes at the feeling of being comfortable again, of feeling pure warmth that came from another person, of bathing into an unspoken care, heartbeats thumping loudly enough for the man to hear them. His eyes did not leave your face for a single second, fighting between the harsh reality and the onslaught of feelings that began taking over with each second spent so close to you. They felt foreign, yet familiar and comfortable, fingers twitching with the sudden need to touch you.

Ignoring any sense of sanity, your body moved on its own accord, hands working quickly the material that stood between you and Law’s upper body. When he did not protest, steel eyes still trained on your features, arms wrapped around his neck, pulling both bodies flush against each other – skin memorizing the tattoos that adorned his chest and body as if wanting to carry a version of him with you forever.

Quiet gasp rolled off Law’s lips at the closeness, absolutely bewildered with how normal it all felt, as if being with you for years on end.

“Need your warmth.” emotions filled voice cut through the silence, trying to not break down feeling his body melting against yours, arms sneaking around the middle, being pulled even deeper into the man that awakened the feeling you were afraid to name.

Law could feel the tip of his ears burning, fingers twitching as they dipped into the material of the t-shirt covering your body, tightening their grip on it when realizing this was the only place in which you were capable of finding comfort and safety. There was no room for uncertainty at this point, both diving too deep into something that should have not existed in the first place, grasping at straws of a hope neither could guarantee – falling for each other on this God forsaken island, in the darkness of Caesar’s laboratory, a place where dreams went on to die along with their owners.

Timid attraction began closing the gap between your lips, Law’s eyes darting to yours and back up, searching for any bit of hesitation, barely able to hold it together as the warmth of your breaths clashed. Hot fingertips carved their path in between his shoulder blades, traveling upwards across the nape of his neck, slight shiver rocking Law’s body at the intimate gesture, before your fingers found purchase into the softness of his dark hair. Arm wrapped tightly around the waist moved to grab at the flesh of your thigh, leg being carefully placed over his middle, both watching each other in comfortable silence, any rational thought slipping out and making room for nothing but yearning, suffocating want and need to feel loved.

“Y/N-ya.” Law’s last attempt at being calculated, protective and sane about the situation, was completely thrown out the moment a small smile tugged at the corners of your mouth.

“I’m sure.” confidence laced the words, lips hovering over each other, waiting for the moment in which all the walls would crumble to the ground. “Are you?”

The reply came in the form of a haze clouding your brain completely, pieces of a broken heart meeting yet again in their rightful place as Law’s lips melted against yours – warm, soft, careful, timid even. It felt as if getting acquainted with each other for the first time, yet familiar and safe, somehow knowing what one meant to the other long before even having the chance to meet. Tongues slipped past the feverish lips, dancing on a slow, tender rhythm, breaths picking up their paces with each passing second spent entangled. Fingertips dipped even deeper into the flesh of your thigh, body arching into his, wishing to be absorbed and consumed completely by no else but him.

Through needy, passion filled kisses, the mattress dipped again as Law switched his weight, settling your body under his with ease, forearms on each side of your head, legs spreading to accommodate the man in between them, shaky sigh being released when feeling the protruding bulge pressing against the visible wet spot of your underwear. Hips began moving on their own accord, demanding more through the clothed friction which caused the Surgeon of Death to allow a low groan to escape against your lips. Needy whimper betrayed the state in which you found yourself the moment he stood up, knees digging into the mattress, expert fingers quickly working under the oversized t-shirt you wore, hooking them into the waistband of your panties, pulling them down and off the legs slowly, calculated, as if giving you time to change your mind on something that was bound to seal two fates together.

“Don’t.” hand grabbed at Law’s wrist, stopping him from removing the last piece of clothing that would reveal what you had become in its entirety.

“I already know ..” steel gaze pierced through the depths of a soul that had known nothing but loneliness and fear until meeting another, until him – warmth and kindness pooled into the eyes of the man that used to show nothing but eerie calmness and coldness. “.. you.”

Trembling hand released its grip, allowing Law to carefully pull the t-shirt off your body, eyes shutting in anger knowing what laid before him – the ruins of an unfinished experiment. Shuffles could be heard, slight movements of the bed being the only thing you could distinguish while refusing to see what was happening. As shame began to wash over you, mouth opened to let out a gasp of surprise, feeling soft lips pressing against the abdomen, traveling upwards in slow motions. Was he kissing along your scars?

Tears brimmed at the corner of your eyes, fighting to push them as far as possible realizing what was happening, deciding to timidly look. Blurry vision opened to see that Law’s pants were gone, the only thing separating the two of you being a pair of black briefs, gaze moving its focus to the man that did not miss one scar, each holding a care filled kiss, one hand clasped on your thigh while the other was smoothing along the ribs, soothing away the shame that began to die out. Head tilted upwards, erratic breaths slipping into the air as his lips traveled along the scar in between your breasts, own fingers making their way back into the softness of his dark hair, tugging slightly when he moved to the sides, tongue flicking shamelessly at each pebbled bud, the first broken moan of the night bouncing off the walls.

Law’s hand released its grip on the thigh, tickling at the sensitive skin as it traveled down the valley in between your legs, groan escaping from the open mouth which caught your high pitched moan when his long, tattooed fingers slipped in between slick coated folds. You were pooling into his palm, heavily swallowing the knot formed at the mere idea that it was all because of him, watching how your gaze became hooded when the first finger went in with a bewildering ease, chest heaving from the arousal, Law’s lips stealing feverish kisses and broken moans.

“m-more.” breathless plea had Law’s length twitch violently into the cotton confinement, jaw clenching feeling the uncomfortable hardness, second finger going in without a second thought. “A-ah!’

Hips began rolling instinctively against him, arousal dripping profusely, teeth clenching on Law’s bottom lip as nails dug into the skin of his back. Both fingers slipped out, covered completely in your wetness as they slowly made their way on that, oh, so sweet spot, gently circling it while applying the pressure that had you choke on your own breath. Law’s hand flew to the waistband of his briefs, pulling them down in one swift motion, quiet gasp crashing against your moans when hit with the warmth of the room.

Not resisting the urge, foreheads pressed together, your gaze dipped in between the legs, mouthwatering sight wiping all that has happened up until this point – heavy, of an impressionable size, cock twitched at the attention, leaking with arousal. Legs wrapped around Law’s waist, the small smirk tugging at his lips not going unnoticed, pushing it into submission with a small peck. Two gazes lost into each other, Law slowly guided himself towards your welcoming heat, following how your eyes began widening, jaw falling slack as the tip pushed through the muscle ring that twitched at the sensation. His own were screwed shut for a brief moment, mentally cursing at how tight you felt despite the pool of arousal in between your legs.

“Fuck!” both lost the little control that remained behind, word escaping at the same time the moment he bottomed out completely, gummy walls pulsating around his shaft.

Languid strokes turned your body to mush, melting into the sheets at the sensation of being so full of him, legs tightening their grip around Law’s waist, nails and fingertips pressing into his back with hunger, unable to look anywhere but at the man stealing whatever was left of your sanity, the man that, with each sensual roll of his hips, was tearing down the walls both have fought to keep up.

Pace picked up only slightly as you angled your hips higher, guttural moan escaping Law at the change, forearm pressing into the pillow as the other hand moved to take yours, fingers intertwining above your head between sinful sounds and heavy panting. Head fell to the side, teeth nipping at the skin of your arm from the bewildering pleasure that coursed throughout the body.

“Eyes on me, love.” Law rasped while trying to control himself feeling the way you clenched and twitched, gaze falling on your heaving chest, breasts bouncing lightly with each delicious drag of his cock, skin flushed and filled with goosebumps being an image burned forever in his mind.

Hearing Law’s words, head snapped back to be met with a hooded, gray gaze that glinted with an unrecognizable emotion. Hand tightened its grip on his at the sight, the man pulling moan after moan as he was capable of reaching so far deep into your aching core. Realization hit like a ton of bricks, Law’s forehead pressing against yours, feverish, passionate kisses being stolen in between breathless releases of pleasure – you were so in love with the man it had your heart being squeezed with love and pain, wanting nothing more than to live, than to be capable of surviving enough to get out of here and simply be.

Be with him.

“L-Law .. I lo ..” words died out into the throat when lips crashed against one another, each stroke of his cock in and out of your heat becoming more intense, more sensual, filled with something more than yearning, passion and attraction.

“I know.” Law’s shaky whisper hit in all the right places, forearm moving for its fingers to tangle into your hair, pulling gently at it until the exposed neck of the woman trembling under him was in full view, lips latching against the sensitive skin and peppering it with loving kisses. “I .. know.”

Forced steps were being taken towards the Surgeon of Death, all sprawled on the royal chair, unable to do anything more than to watch how you were coming for the kill under Doflamingo’s control - sharp blades pointed straight at his chest, jaw clenched shut in an attempt to fight such monstrous power, refusing to take the life of the man you loved. Despite seeing his usual wall put up, seemingly unbothered by what was happening, you knew better than anyone in the room that the cogs in Law’s brain were functioning at full speed trying to come up with a way to stop this entire ordeal.

“Did you even know that Caesar lied to get a better payout?” words came out through heavy breaths, amused expression taking over much to Law’s surprise hidden under the steel mask of “I don’t care”. “I thought the Don Quixote family was smarter than this.”

“Trying to buy time, princess?” Doflamingo’s rasped out laugh pushing each available button of your sanity, flashes of an insatiable rage morphing into images born out of the desire to kill him – to torture this pure evil until there was nothing left of him.

“No.” you scoffed as the panic built with each step taken towards Law. “Since Caesar is with the Straw Hats, I can out him for the play he pulled on all of you. It’s not like you can do anything to him now.”

“No one deceives the Young Master.” Baby 5, one of Doflamingo’s acolytes and assassin, chimed in while feeling personally attacked at the implication of your statement.

“Trafalgar and I had a moment of weakness which I knew was being monitored.” annoyed sigh rolled off your lips feeling Doflamingo’s controlling strings pausing their wretched attempt. “It was easy to trick Caesar into believing that whatever he thought he saw would bring him more money. Higher price, bigger chances of leaving that hell hole with whomever paid. Who wouldn’t want to have leverage against one of the Seven Warlords?”

“That so?” vicious, disgusting grin split Doflamingo’s face, Law’s entire body tensing realizing the man was about to do something even crueler.

Lythe fingers danced into the air, a muttered “fuck” being choked out when forcefully pushed right in front of Law while slightly bent over his figure. One blade pushed against his neck while the other was dangerously digging into yours, thin droplets of blood trickling down on both of your skins.

“Then kill him if that’s true.” Doflamingo purred maliciously, controlling with ease how the blade pressed against your skin as incentive. “Or .. was that a lie?”

“He lives, you say?” an amused chuckle escaped into the air, instinct dictating that it was a blatant lie but choosing to believe it out of pure hope.

“He lives.” the head of the Don Quixote family responded, mocking, harsh giggle resounding into the background at his own words.

“I’m sorry.” was all you could say, whispering low enough only for Law to hear, tears bubbling to the surface realizing how easily Doflamingo could control your body — knowing that his desire right now was for Law to die by your own two hands. “I tried.”

“Whatever you’re about to do ..” Law’s growled, uncontrollable anger destabilizing every single synapse in his brain when realizing what you were about to do. “Don’t.”

“Remember what I wanted to say that night.” soft smile engulfed your face, pace washing over the pair of eyes he dreamed of every single day since you left. “It’ll all make sense.”

I love you.

Law’s eyes widened in horror as the final piece of the puzzle fell into place – you were willing to die for him rather than lying, rather than having a chance of living after everything you went through. Erratic heartbeats took over in a split second, teeth gritting with ravaging anger as wrists were close to bleeding into the shackles, desperately wanting to break them off, to grab you and run out of the room as far as possible.

Why the hell didn’t he allow you to say it back then?

Why did he always have to find a way of stopping the words to fall from your lips?

Why did he do everything in his power to not make it real when it already was?

He felt the same and never got the chance to say it, to hear it directly from you, to bathe into the soothing notes of your voice when uttering the three words that gave him the life he never felt worthy of. Saying “I love you” at that time seemed as if allowing the reality to disappear, to give true meaning and hope to a relationship that thrived on the luck of you being alive the next day, after Caesar was done with his experiments.

Cracks began showing into the smile you so freely showed Law, chin trembling from the tsunami of emotions crashing into you, tears staining the pair of eyes in which he always saw a life to be lived, heavy droplets rolling down the cheeks he used to kiss when asleep. Indeed, Law never showed or talked about his true feelings, about what was hiding underneath the steel exterior.

He never had to. You knew.

“Oi, Doffy!” you shouted, voice filled with confidence bouncing off the walls, tears pinching your lips with sadness and anger, eyes blooming with happiness at the mere fact that you had the chance of seeing the man you loved again after more than a year of being apart. “I fucking lied!”

Evil laughter filled the air, arms raised as fingers puppeteered the woman that chose love over life, two seconds of events unfolding into the room where your fate, and the fate of Dressrosa, was going to take a sudden turn. Scream filled with anger, desperation and pain exploded into the air as shocked gasps followed right after, droplets of blood splashing against Law’s chest, painting the black heart tattooed on his chest into shades of dark red, while the sound of steel blades crashing against the floor announced the end of a decision that was going to last a lifetime.

To the side, Doflamingo’s head rested on the blood stained carpet.

“Go right now!” Law roared like never before, steel gaze burning with a rage no one thought he was capable of under all that calmness and pristine, calculated attitude. “NOW!”

“B-but ..” teeth snapped shut against each other, the sound having Viola, King Riku’s second daughter, placing her hand on your shoulder and squeezing gently, reassuringly.

“After what you just ..” he followed, feeling how his words could easily cut even deeper than the blades that only scratched the surface of your delicate neck – Law inhaled deeply, regaining balance, notes of relaxed tonality carrying the sound of his voice. “I can’t have you be used as leverage again. Doflamingo won’t hesitate holding you over my head.”

“I don’t want to leave again!” foot slammed against the ground, blood rushing through the veins at the mere thought of being apart, of losing him yet again. “I don’t want to leave .. you.”

Silence fell upon the group that managed to escape out of the room filled with the danger that Doflamingo represented, Law at a loss of words of how easily you admitted, revealed so openly, in what way you were tied together under the questioning gazes of the others. Viola’s sweet chuckle filled the air, Kyros and King Riku eyed each other with small smiles that gave away the fact that they caught on to what was going on, witnesses to the previous sad scene that unfolded at the hands of Doflamingo, while Luffy looked in between the two of you as if you were the strangest thing to walk the land.

“Promise me.” Law mumbled, cheeks slightly flushed, ears burning with everyone’s eyes set on him, trying to calm his heart from exploding into millions of pieces because of you – deep, defeated sigh slipped past his lips when deciding that no one truly cared about this whole moment except the two of you. “You’ll stay safe until I come after you.”

Eyebrows shot up in surprise, lips parting hearing the promise made over a year ago being uttered yet again, and not by you, but by the man that, at that time, even refused to acknowledge that loving someone else existed – that it wasn’t just a bedtime story.

Beaming smile curved your lips upwards, the same one Law got used to seeing daily a while ago, the same one he missed beyond his own capacity of understanding.

“I promise.” sweet notes of happiness danced into the air, the tonality of a voice he only got to hear when around him, when not either in pain or filled with sadness, brought a small, rare smile on his own face. “Never again, Trafalgar!”

“Come with me.” Viola chimed in, fingers intertwined with yours, understanding clearer than anyone else that she had to hang on to your life, to protect you with everything she had – witnessing pure, unstained love was a source of power not many were capable of understanding in this wretched world.

Neither you or Law needed to say it out loud – I love you taking the form of a promise that meant a whole lot more than the confession itself, representing both the beginning and the end of what was going to be the rest of your lives.

“Never again.” Law acknowledged right away what you were saying, the double edged sword of your words being an unspoken language to others but him – he knew better than anyone what that meant. “Y/N-ya.”

You knew exactly what he was saying right there and then, heart blooming with a deep sense of accomplishment that no one else could decipher. It was a bizarre exchange between two people that met into the darkness of Punk Hazard, two people that gave up on themselves for each other, two people that decided walls were built to be crumbled at the hands of those that truly mattered.

As Doflamingo’s voice began booming over Dressorsa, announcing a new hunting game of the people that dared to cross into his territory, to try and save what he ruined all those years ago, the two of you looked at each other, finally at peace. There were about to be excruciating moments, events that would have your hearts scream with desperation, yet, somehow, you knew that the grass was going to be greener on the other side.

This time you were not going to leave on separate paths, torn apart by an unfair fate and an expensive trade.

This time you were both going to walk side by side, on the same path, because ..

Never again, right?

✨ Reblogs & comments would be much appreciated ✨

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the-ghost-bracket · 10 months

Text

Ghostbur propaganda:

"My man was literally haunting not just the characters, but the narrative itself"

"Dude he is so sad all the time, nobody takes him seriously because he’s so kind and upbeat but he really and truly is so sad, he’s got awful memory problems, all he wants is people to be happy like he couldn’t have been, but they don’t even stop his pet sheep from dying because “it’ll just come back” bc it’s a ghost too and then he has a whole thing about how that doesn’t mean they don’t feel pain too and just he’s very very sad and is perpetually stuck in a train station all alone forever"

"This ghost, this poor little ghost was done SO dirty oh my god. Okay for context in case you don’t know about anything from that hellhole minecraft server, in that universe you get 3 lives, and once you die you get sent to limbo and a ghost takes your place in the overworld. Most people get ghosts but some don’t. But! You can get revived! Which means you get to go back to the overworld but you ghost takes your place in limbo. One more thing I should mention before I get to Ghostbur is everyone’s limbo looks different, because it’s literally their personal hell. I’m sure you see where this is going. :) SO! Ghostbur. Wilbur, the person he’s a ghost of was not a great person before he died. But Ghostbur is nothing but kind, if not a little naïve to everyone and everything. This all leads up Ghostbur getting murdered trying to help his little brother figure, and Wilbur being revived. This means Ghostbur gets trapped alone in limbo. Ghostbur’s story could have left off there but NOOOOOO his creator decided to make it worse. Water burns Ghostbur, so crying is painful. He has memory problems and with nothing to write on he only has the haziest memories of his family left. He’s stuck in limbo for decades before something happens. Meanwhile back in the overworld Wilbur’s been having a pissing contest with his ex and realizes “Huh, a lot of people liked this Ghostbur guy and I know where he ended up. Maybe I should do something nice for him.” And sends Ghostbur’s beloved pet sheep, Friend to hell to be with Ghostbur. The last we ever see of Ghostbur is he, for once in a very long time crying tears of joy as he is reunited with his Friend."

"DSMP gets a bad rep for the guy it’s named for (who I do not support in ANY way whatsoever), but it was made up of 30+ creators, many of which put so very much passion and love into the project. Wilbur Soot was one of them, and Ghostbur was his character after he died.

Ghostbur was sweet, goofy, and terribly tragic. He would go around offering blue dye to his friends, saying “have some blue”, saying it would soak up their sadness. He only remembers happy things from when he was alive. He had a sheep named Friend. He was as lovable as his memory was painful, and an overall very good ghost"

"when he got revived it was to help in a plan to beat up his chosen brother's abuser by breaking INTO jail and having his bro follow him invisible. he's the best musician on the server according to his dad :D. he has a blue sheep named friend on a leash who has infinite cannon lives. he has memory issues and can't remember bad feelings after they happen so people often infantilize him which sucks because he's actually very competent and just wants to help his friends and have a good time. he got sent to limbo sadly and has likely been there for a couple thousand years now. which is incredibly sad. the guy who plays him wrote sad hurt no comfort drabbles about it on reddit."

"just a really sweet guy, currently chilling in the afterlife with his sheep friend while the revived version of himself is working in a gas station in utah"

#ghost bracket #ghost poll #propaganda #dsmp #dream smp #dsmp ghostbur #ghostbur #dream smp ghostbur

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beaconfeels · 1 month

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Talk shop Tuesday!

I have to ask bc I’m obsessed - what’s your thought process/how do you perceive and build your Stargent dynamics??

Oh Lucky my sweet human, I’m going to admit immediately that a very large chunk of my brain thinks this is just a call-out ask to make me admit I have no process. I know you wouldn’t do that, but also it would be very warranted if you did, just sayin.

So many people in this fandom, yourself included, have carefully delved into canon to explore and expand on characters in wonderfully logical ways and I am just over here like “head empty only vibes.”

However, I will try to put some words to the vibes. I think in the simplest terms, I’m drawn to them because I feel like they’re opposites that play off each other in ways I enjoy. The similarity between them of course, is that they’re both very traumatized people who have been through a lot of pain, but for me the intriguing juxtaposition is in how their various traumas and bad home lives played out in their lives and what that turned them into.

Chris to me reads as very disciplined. He has such a soldier mentality that he was willing to kill his wife when she was turned because that’s what it had been ingrained in him to do. Chris might not abide by every law, but he is a rule follower.

Then there’s Stiles-breaks into the evidence locker-Stilinski, who has never met a rule he didn’t want to defy. Like his home life, and his beautiful ADHD brain, he’s full of chaos and impulsive decisions.

Chris has a psychic weight to him. His sadness and trauma weigh him down, but he’s also grounded by his principles and what he believes about the world.

Stiles, even in the face of so much pain, has remained wonderfully incorrigible. He’s shredded his trauma with his sharp edges and shoved it down under a layer of sarcasm and mild threats to end people’s lives every ten seconds.

I think Stiles needs to be more grounded, and Chris needs to lighten up, and they give that to each other (in my head. Not in the show) I think they’re also two people who need more care in their lives, and they can give that to each other too.

Also, I’m a hopeless romantic, and I dunno why, but when I think about these two in my head, I can just see them being SO in love. Because Chris would torture himself about loving Stiles, but once he gave in he would be GONE because Stiles is stupid lovable when he wants to be, and he would make Chris laugh, which he desperately needs. I mean obviously in the few fics I’ve written for them it’s silly how sappy they are, but it makes me SO HAPPY. The show puts these two through hell, and I like putting them in cozy houses where they’re ridiculously in love and Chris calls Stiles “baby” a lot.

TL;DR I just think they’re neat and I want them to be happy and have lots of hot sex

#asks #stargent #sorry this is so long #I actually trimmed this down because turns out I actually have quite a few thoughts about these two #even if a lot of those thoughts haven’t made it into my stargent fics yet #Thank you for indulging me with an ask!!

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best-underrated-anime · 5 months

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Best Underrated Anime Group I Round 2: #I6 vs #I4

#I6: Highschoolers babysit kids—funny and sweet.

#I4: Colorblind witch meets her granny’s friends by time travel

Details and poll under the cut!

#I6: School Babysitters (Gakuen Babysitters)

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Summary:

After losing both parents in a fatal plane crash, teenager Ryuuichi Kashima must adjust to his new life as the guardian of his younger brother Kotarou. Although Ryuuichi is able to maintain a friendly and kindhearted demeanor, Kotarou is a reserved toddler still too young to understand the reality of the situation. At their parents' funeral, they are approached by Youko Morinomiya, the stern chairman of an elite academy, who decides to take them under her care.

However, there is one condition Ryuuichi must fulfill in exchange for a roof over their heads and enrolment in the school—he must become the school's babysitter. In an effort to support the female teachers at the academy, a babysitter's club was established to look after their infant children; unfortunately, the club is severely short-staffed, so now not only is Ryuuichi responsible for his little brother, but also a handful of toddlers who possess dynamic personalities.

Propaganda 1:

It is one of the cutest slice-of-life shows, with some really sweet moments. It’s a bit sad that not many people know about it, because it is a very lovely show. Some downright hilarious moments with almost all lovable characters, each with their own quirks, and some unexpected, yet awesome friendships.

Propaganda 2:

It’s definitely one of my comfort shows. Cute, little slice of life where you see the activities of the kids in the club. (They’re super adorable and the stuff they do is so funny.) The bond between Kashima and his little brother, Kotaro, is so sweet, and I love seeing him open up to his new-found family.

Trigger Warnings:

Deaths in MC’s family, which are mostly mentioned in reference to grief. Nothing explicit or graphic. Also, one side character gets overly excited and has nosebleeds around the kids. It’s played for laughs, but at least he’s called out for it being weird. Lastly, there is a pedophile side character, and the other characters think he’s gross and find him uncomfortable to be with.

#I4: Iroduku: The World in Colors

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Summary:

Despite the kaleidoscopic magic ingrained in everyday life, Hitomi Tsukishiro's monochrome world is deprived of emotion and feeling. On a night as black and white as any other, amidst the fireworks spreading across the sky, Hitomi's grandmother Kohaku conjures a spell, for which she has been harnessing the moon's light for 60 years, to send Hitomi back in time to the year 2018 when Kohaku was in high school.

Hitomi's mission seems unclear, but her grandmother assures her that she will know when she gets there. Following a trip through time aboard a train driven by a strange yellow creature, Hitomi finds herself in stoic artist Yuito Aoi's room, and his drawings flood her world with color. What is Hitomi's purpose there, and why do Yuito's drawings return such breathtaking color to her drab world?

Propaganda:

It’s the kind of show I only watched once, but it stayed with me to this day. It has a unique story that, despite having supernatural elements, feels grounded in human emotions the most. A rare but solid example of magical realism.

The premise is so original, yet very easy to grasp from a start. The time-travel and magic simply lay a groundwork for the story to carry on. If you were ever frustrated by how in supernatural shows there isn’t enough time to explore characters’ emotional depth bc plot, then this anime will be a delightful breather for you. Because the whole show is about the main character’s healing process, learning to overcome her fears, opening up to others… It’s a journey of a lonely, broken person who finds meaning to her life in a distant timeline. And it’s wonderful and painful on all levels.

The visuals, animation, background art are all stunning. Usage of colour is meaningful, to portray heroine’s colourblindess with proper weight. The show isn’t black/white for the viewers, but when she sees colours, they truly make them shine. Soundtrack wise, ending song is heartbreakingly beautiful and encapsulates the feeling of the whole series perfectly.

TL;DR: It's magical but not intense. Sad but comforting.

(I hope I did it justice. Pls watch it, it has 12 eps that are 100% enough for this story <3 )

Trigger Warnings: Not stated.

When reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

If you want to criticize one of the shows above to give the one you’re rooting for an advantage, then do so constructively. I do not tolerate groundless hate or slander on this blog. If I catch you doing such a thing in the notes, be it in the tags or reblogs, I will block you.

Know one of the shows above and not satisfied with how it’s presented in this tournament? Just fill up this form, where you can submit revisions for taglines, propaganda, trigger warnings, and/or video.

#anime #best underrated anime #polls #poll tournament #tournament #anime tournament #animation #group stage #group stage round 2 #tournament polls #school babysitters #gakuen babysitters #irodoku: the world in colors #irodoku #group i

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alteadelight · 1 year

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no bc i’m so upset that pat’s ending was sad. he just wanted to be loved, the feeling that everyone around you is finding love and you’re left behind. it leaves you thinking, “am i lovable? do i deserve love?” and at an age like that no less where teenage insecurities are at their height, i sympathize so much with pat. i get that it was probably for comedic effect, but it just makes me sad. and the fact that he started crying, CRYING, in front of everyone and no one did anything, not even por, hurts. HURTS.

if we ever get a s2, which is pretty doubtful, then omg i need pat to find somebody, preferably tiwpatpor, but mannnnn

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sunset-bobby · 2 years

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TUA SEASON 3 FINAL THOUGHTS

- I rlly liked Luther this season and I get why Tom said he was fun to play, bc honestly he was just a lovable idiot the whole time. I love him and Sloane Idc they were cute young new love and it looked like they needed that. Also w/o the the ape genetics man is still huge

- I loved the exploration of Klaus’s powers and while I’m upset it happened away from the group it was nice for him to get that development. I’m sad there was no Dave follow up. I hope they use him more

-Diego and Lila were a fucking roller coaster but I actually enjoyed it. Diego is a great fucking dad even if Stan wasn’t his kid I liked them interacting also he’s a little instigator lmaoo he’s ready for a fight and i stan

- Allison i’m disappointed in. There were times I understood her and there were times she needed to be slapped in the face. I think while she was dealing w/ her very recent trauma and old trauma I don’t like the way her character arc was written bc it made her appear selfish but i did love the arc and im supporting this slow decent into villain life…i support badasses

-Viktor is trying his best. I don’t think he should have lied to the rest of them abt Harlan but also Allison didn’t have to kill him. I loved him and Luther’s brotherly bonding.

- LET FIVE RETIRE. Man is just done w/ this shit and honestly i feel like one good conversation where everyone actually listened to him shit coulda been done

-The Sparrow academy for the most part are just loveable assholes. Sparrow Ben was a dick but also like just needed a hug and validation which honestly is what they all need. Also call me Luther bc I would kill for Sloan i love her. I’m so sad the other members were underused especially Marcus like wtf man was fine asf and was there an episode.

- Reginald can catch these fucking hands. Honestly he himself was an emotional rollercoaster and i found myself trying to trust and believe him but i shoulda known he’d be an ass in every universe

- There are scenes that just ugh like the karaoke scene or just episode 8 in general was just nice to watch

- THE ENDING!!! Many questions very few answers..when is season 4 cause like I need

#long post #the umbrella academy #tua season 3 #tua spoilers #the sparrow academy #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #fei hargreeves #marcus hargreeves #sloane hargreeves #alphonso hargreeves #jayme hargreeves

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f0point5 · 8 months

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HELLLOOO IM IN LOVE W YOUR SMAU and also how you see the drivers is very similar to how i do too!

disclaimer: i do not know these people. how i perceive them is strictly my own opinion and the image of them in my mind is something built from what i’ve seen them say/do in public. i won’t ever pretend to actually know them. what i think of them are probably two dimensional characters in comparison to the real people. i just like profiling/psychoanalyzing people sometimes but i won’t actually say how i see them are how they truly are.

im a max and charles girlie (and oscar too, but i digress) and the way you’ve portrayed them or spoken about them is so much like what i’ve been thinking. what was it about charles you said? something along the lines of ‘he shows enough of himself so that people won’t actually know him’ and that the way people see him is how he wants them to see him. also how he stays neutral whether from his own need to stay ‘good’ or from self-preservation (or both). i’ve just never seen many (if any) people other than myself (and you) point it out. because to me it’s so very clear that he’s maintained this sort of image that’s so likable and lovable that it’s easy to buy into it. he’s a tough nut to crack i think, other than the other points you’ve mentioned (not being able to stay alone, etc). the way he approaches things, it’s actually so difficult to know what goes on inside his head when not in very obvious situations (ie disappointment/anger/sadness after a race). his perpetually ‘good’ and neutral persona makes it nearly impossible to see what he thinks about certain things. yes, he has his tells, but again he’s very self-aware and in control of how he presents himself, and he’s great at reading people too to top it off, and so he can decide which words best to use and which way to best avoid certain conversations. of course that is not to say he is manipulative etcetc, just that he knows what he has and he knows what people want.

this is a stark contrast to max, which is interesting because he’s much more private about his personal life than charles is. with charles he’s so lovely all the time that one might think ‘you can’t possibly be this way all the time can you?’. not in a way that doubts his kindness, only that he comes off as surreal and therefore untouchable/unattainable.

max on the other hand, while pr trained (bc ofc they all are) is very transparent, in a way charles can’t (or won’t) be. he’s venomous when he’s pushed to the limit and he bites his tongue constantly from holding back (which you can so clearly see when he does, because there’s an energy that surrounds him that makes you want to take a step back even though he says/does nothing to show agression). his kindness and the way he shows his love is equally as palpable. have you seen his hugs? the way he smiles and looks at other people right after telling a joke before he can laugh too? when he shows this side of him he gives it so freely, so openly, there’s no room for question whether it was genuine or cordial. when he shows love he gives it wholly. i don’t think i’ve seen it any other way. i sometimes think maybe that’s the only way he knows how to.

that charles, who spends more time in the public eye than max ever did/does/ever will, is more unpredictable than max, is all that more interesting to me.

about oscar, i think he’s so similar to max. they’re both direct and cheeky, they’re very witty and sarcastic in a lighthearted tongue-in-cheek way, they’re not caught up in any stories of legacy or image (next schumacher, next senna, next hamilton, etc). there’s no dream to be realized other than their own. and this separates them from quite a number of the drivers on the grid. they want to race and they want to win; anything outside of that like politics, media, well, they can all piss off. but while they don’t appreciate the extra elements that come in the formula one package (being in the spotlight, having to do activities that have nothing to do with racing, etc) they know how to have fun with it. they don’t gaf and that’s what makes them so entertaining. of course this is only oscar’s first year in f1, so we haven’t seen much of his personality when in circumstances that are less than favorable (which… i have to say max has had plenty of) and i’ve seen how he was during f2 and he’s pretty much stayed the same, coolheaded silly guy. we might just get to see him be more and more agressive though, because after japan, and also the several other times he’d ended up losing out on a podium. idk i mean how patient can one be before thinking ‘hey, enough of this now,’ (no hate to lando ofc thats the bff i love him). i’ll be seated for that day is all i’m saying.

oh and they have similar preferences too in food and neither likes to dance and it’s just so funny to me bc they’re such an unlikely pair?? the way they do media activities too for content is hilarious they obviously don’t want to be there, but the differing quality is that max probably thinks ‘okay, i don’t want to be here, so let’s get it over with and have fun with it too’ (ie. make the people making him do these things regret it. the menace.) while oscar just wants to go home or go racing. there may just be a change in that though, because we’ve seen lando help him get used to the environment and be more open compared to the start of the season when he was still quiet and came off as shy/boring.

okay that’s it i’m done sorry for writing an essay in your anon asks have fun reading.

i also have a blast just going through your answers bc you’re always so articulate with them and it’s easy to tell you spent time thinking it through!

I agree with you about Charles, except for one tiny caveat. I don’t think he comes across so nice that no one could be that nice all the time. I think they probably could be, I just think he probably isn’t. He is a pretty aggressive driver, has been all the way through, raced Max hard in karting and very hard in cars, no way that guy is the type to just say “it’s like this” and breathe heavily and go home and do the same thing there. And that’s not a bad thing at all, he should be allowed to have his work face and go home and be himself. The funny thing with Charles is that it seems like he doesn’t want to acknowledge that that’s his work face. He seems to want people to think that they’re engaging with his whole personality. As I said, I think he just feeds the para social relationship, which is partly why his fans are so passionate but also so entitled to his time and personal space/life (not all, but I do feel that his fans find him more accessible than other drivers eg. Touching, grabbing, crowding him, turning up at his home etc).

I agree about Max. He just seems like he won’t bother to hide how he feels unless he feels there’s a proper reason, PR or media be damned. And good for him, but I think he can do that because he is so used to shutting out everyone’s opinions except his own. In order for criticism not to completely break you, you have to shut yourself off from other’s people’s opinion of you, which means neither their dislike nor their praise will make any difference to you. I think you can see that’s Max’s survival mode, because a father like he had will crush you if you don’t start compartmentalising really fast. I think Max knows the he knows what he’s doing and everyone else can pull up a chair or exit the theatre, he doesn’t care which.

I feel like maybe Oscar is similar, but it comes from a different place. I just get the feeling that Oscar has been on his own a lot. I don’t know why I think that, but he carries himself like a kid who flew on his own at 8 years old. I think he went to boarding school as a teen as well which would make sense to him because he does have boarder vibes to me. Like, he’s used to putting all his ducks in a row in his own, he doesn’t need or want much attention. I feel like he doesn’t lap up the attention from Zak the same way Lando does because he almost doesn’t need that mentoring that most young men would. I just feel like he’s fully cooked as a personality. And I think his personality is just a straightforward, funny guy, probably the type to only come out of his shell with a few people, and those people are definitely not the Instagram followers lol. I’m interested to see if his racing personality becomes more outwardly aggressive, but I also think he/McLaren might know the game they’re playing and he’s just biding his time. If they’re still undercutting him in 2025 I think the gloves will come up but I also don’t think they will be. I think he’ll become a more spicy wheel to wheel racer in time but I also think he’s doing the right thing not making enemies (except Carlos) in his rookie season.

I hope you enjoy going through this one!

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femme-malewife · 29 days

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Hii again!!

I'm the anon from last night (afternoon?), and thankyouthankyou so much for answering my ask haha. It made me excited when I saw that you needed two times to read it (when I read your answer I also needed some time to reread, I got up and even read while walking, couldn't stay put 😅)

And I wanna say, thank you for sharing them (your fics), and I mean sharing them, not just writing them bc I still think it's wonderful that you enjoy them, but sharing them is a lot other deal where you gotta be at the expense of hateful criticism and such, which I know can be ignored but it's still there, and is scary to open about you, about something that you made and people just being people don't understanding what a big deal is that, bc that way we got to read them and enjoy them and feel in general something whathever that is joy or sadness.

I specially enjoy those

I specially enjoy those fics of yours that are just for the lols haha, I get a good laugh without the urge of finishing a long one, bc once I start reading one I won't stop (except to attend the necesities that haha) though I also like your long ones, like Ikigai haha man that was a ride, I remember being at the edge of my seat just looking for their first signs of falling in love, and being exasperated at Yuujirou but also sad with him running away, I also loved Ken in that fic, even though I think he should have been there more for Aizou, just like in the canon but I understand that it was a lot to take and not anybody can do it, I also liked them being Prince x comoner, haha the change of peace was great bc Yuujirou is usually more prince like with his arrogant cute little attitudes and Aizou being like his loyal lovable idiot haha, right now I don't remember the name of the fic, but there was this one where Yuujirou and Aizou being both princes and Yuujirou is in this arranged marriage and Aizou is devastated about it and then true love (the kiss) saving the day, and the fic where Yuujirou is kidnapped, though I can't talk much about this one bc I don't wanna spoil anyone but the turn at the end was great haha 😆 Aizou is incredible, though poor Hiyori, suffering no matter the universe with those two around, though in a way still getting paid haha.

And there are a lot other great fics I've read, though I must confess I haven't read all of them, I got those ones that I haven't read saved in a big group (in Chorme). And I'm just not deleting them for my life haha, though my Ram is mad at me😅.

And ohhhh your origin story in writing 😍 it's cool, I'm sure I would have just wrote the definitions haha, writing a short story is still being pretty creative, specially when you have to use some words in specific and not something in my opinion anyone can do

I still think you're pretty cool and amazing, (yeah I always read the tags), and it's cool being mean and antisocial (I mean, strangers are usually soo fake friendly, I've got people that are like this that I just have known them like less than two hours and bc I give the vibe that I'm smart?? I dunno 😑 try to take advantage of that, whan I'm usually more lost than them haha, but if I don't return the "gesture" of being friendly I got the "looks" of being strange and I guess antisocial?? I just want to being left alone to read in peace man, but it's imposible so I have just resigned to that destiny), in my book people will always suck, they lie, they brush others off, they seem perfect in a way I don't understand bc they are accepted with their peers even when it seems fake to me, and I will never understand that, and even some of them are infiurating being so much at their element (that element being great at socialicing, where I struggle) but the world is like that and if we (you and me, my dear author LStar-sensei, or femme-malewife-sensei??) ever where to be in the same place I think it would be nice to just being the both of us in our mental space?? (Dunno if this makes sense hhahaha) but being just there is nice (I guess in a way we are right now, interacting like this. Being antisocial and mean is fine, bc if you're being mean to someone, they must've likely did something deserved to be treated mean, no matter if that something is minuscule in theirs or other peoples points of view, only you know how you're feeling and getting others to get it is hard enough to explain, so in a way being respectful is enough for me)

And I wanna say that even though it makes me sad (to the point of crying a little sometimes) when an author delets or abandonds their works for wathever reason they have, I will always respect it. Bc it's something you shared with us, and you have all the right to feel how you feel towards something you wrote and act however you seem the best, and it's also fine to not finish everything you write, I'm not a writer, so is hard for me to get it, but I swear to you it's fine if you ever move on to other things or lost interest or motivation to continue writing soemthing (maybe we will cross paths in another fandom, one never knows) I just hope you continue with joy doing wathever makes you happy (though as a reader it really makes me sad when authors delete their works, and as a reader that has read some beautiful pieces of art unfinished, I still keep rereading them sometimes, even though they are not finished I still get the joy of the journey of the characteres no matter how short or long or even how crack it is haha, bc I remember them, those great stories that help me get through another day, week, month and even though I'm still hopeful I could get the joy of getting even just one chapter someday, I will always respect the author and hope they're doing well with their lives, even if it's short the time that we conected in a great story, I just hope that they're well and yeah I will feel that way towards you one day if it ever happens, bc you're great and don't let anyone let you the oposite, though it's also fine if you just ignore them hihihi )

And yeahhhh, origin stories of you getting into lipxlip and yuumori. 😆 I think I share with you almost how I got into yuumori, bc let's be sincere, it's hard to get that almost instantaneous click with every story one sees, the diference with me is that I got into it again bc you wrote a fic of them 😊 which I must confess haven't read it yet, but I will definetly do it when I have time, I just want to reread some parts of the manga (to get into the mood if you get what I mean haha😅)

And yeahsss, I think you answered everything of that ask of mine and even more, thank you so much!! And sorry if I extended more that neccesary My mind is rambling and doesn't know when to stop (or summarize) sometimes haha

- Saludos 🤗

Ahahahaha thank you! I'm glad you like them! Yeah out of all of my multichaps for lxl, I'd say Ikigai is my fav. Or The BL Experience, which focuses on new jobs for lxl to expand on...and my fic that focuses moreso on the mystery rather than the ship In The Pursuit of Happiness. I had fun with that one too. I'm quite proud of these ones, even if I still cringe @ some of the chapters on all of them lmao.

I hope you're reading my current wip Dream Faded !! I'm really excited for this one and I'm looking forward to being able to update it!

But thank you for your kind words! I'll do my best to be a decent role model 😭

#I just got home from work and im dead exhausted sorry for the wonky replies lolol #it is a bit late and I still need to get some stuff done so i wont be able to update tonight...but tomorrow for sure I'll update #anoask

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chellyfishing · 5 months

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apparently i have read seven books already this year, mostly because i have been too tired to do basically anything else (plus january is typically a strong reading month for me, for whatever reason). anyway that sounds like a little more than it is, since two were finishing up my locked tomb reread and two were under 100 pages (poems and essays by mary oliver and, uh, bunnicula, which i read while lying in the tub at 4 am trying to manage pain). the first non-locked tomb book i read was a far wilder magic, which is actually a book i have a LOT of thoughts on that i might get into eventually (still loved it tho! love allison saft’s prose!!) but mostly i wanted to tell you about the two romcoms i read!

i’m really so pleased with both of these books because they are apparently the first romance books i’ve ever given 5/5 stars too (unless you count kings rising, but that’s literally the only other one). i did notice that both of these are ya, which means there’s no sex in either, not even a fade to black, it just doesn’t happen over the course of the story, and i genuinely don’t know if that played a role. i kinda don’t think it did, bc my next-favorite romance book, all the feels, does have graphic sex scenes, but the reason i rated it a little below 5 had more to do with some of the writing choices in other places. SO i dunno! just something to ponder. onto the books!

the first is highly suspicious and unfairly cute by talia hibbert. this is actually my first talia hibbert, who has written a bunch of really well-loved adult romances. i’m looking forward to reading more from here because i loved her writing! it’s so full of charm and personality and literal lols. it doesn’t get boring because the narrative voice(s) are so engaging. the characters are so good in this. the main male character, brad, is also important to me because he’s very casually bisexual and also has OCD (i don’t have OCD but i have fifty other anxiety disorders in a trenchcoat and am somewhat OCD-adjacent, so a lot of his worries and intrusive thoughts really hit!). and our female lead, celine, is a fat girl, but that never ever ever comes up as a pejorative. brad constantly remarks on how beautiful she is and celine herself has a frankly enviable amount of self-confidence. and of course, both of them are black, as seen on the cover. this book truly is unfairly cute. i was rooting for the couple but i was also rooting for all the little friendships they made along the way. just a really good time.

the second one was the borrow-a-boyfriend club by page powars. this book is very ouran-coded, in that our main boy sort of accidentally joins what it is not called but very clearly is a high school host club. the boys are even sorted by Type with a capital T. more importantly this book is the purest definition of trans and queer joy. our boy noah is doing his best to “prove” he’s a boy at his new school to avoid all the little “accidents” and “slip-ups” that drove him from his last school, and it is sad to see him struggle to feel confident in his identity, but the more he’s affirmed the more his joy comes through. he’s got a very dogged personality that is so endearing. genuinely just a very lovable main character to follow. i would have liked to get to know the other characters in the club a little more but this is a pretty short book (under 300 pages) and i feel like for the length of the book we actually do get a pretty good amount of them. and they were lovable too! every time they were nice to noah and he became more embedded in this little friend group/family the happier i felt. our love interest is an absolute disaster but it was in such a quintessentially teenage boy way, especially given his upbringing. such a fun, funny (so many more literal lols) little story about male friendship and queerness and transness and boys and happiness. honestly if “ouran but in ann arbor and haruhi is actually a trans boy” sounds like a good time, do not hesitate!!

#deep thoughts #i had the biggest grin reading both of these!!#i want all of these kids to be happy!!!

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csmbrsk · 2 years

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Some thoughts about Makima;

I will surely do about other characters from chainsaw man (or about some manga)

some spoilers under, don't read if you're not up to the manga !!

Feel free to give me ur thoughts about her in general or about this post, kinda cool to interact with some fans (:

I scrolled on twitter and Tumblr to see people's pov on Makima (like French twitter or English one) and every time, either people just adore her because of her design or hate her because of what she did to Denji &Co. Even with some of my friends (bc I really like this character), they either see me as a "simp" or a "dumbass".

For sure, Makima is portrayed to be like at first because the story starts from Denji's eyes, we are reading his story, so we perceive everything like him. She seems incredible and unattainable, an impossible reward or reach, and the fact that she is mysterious just embellishes her. Even in the 3rd and 5th ending, she is portrayed as Maria, religious connotations to portray her as something/someone unattainable. She is a savior for Denji, Aki, Power and I'm sure for a lot of devils or humans. Her appearances are often short but very determinant for the story or the plot, so we are kinda intrigued by her. In the beginning, we don't really see her "human" side (y'know she is a devil but she has a soft side), we just see her as a woman who have goals to achieve and tricks Denji as her wishes want.

In fact, if we just see her actions, she is a bad person. Tricking everyone with her controlling power, abusing Denji's truth (and Aki's too), ruining people life because it seems right for her, for her idealistic world. In French, we call that ''conséquentialisme", it has as a definition : "the ethical theory that the morality of an action depends solely on its consequences", so as for Makima, her action may be seen as "valable" because she wants a better world, because she is here to create a better place for everyone even tho it's based on Denji's misery. Her actions are valid thanks to their consequences; an utopia. We may associate her to another philosophy trend called "utilitarisme", defined as : "maximize everyone's happiness" in this case. It means your actions are useful for everyone, it has a meaning.

Everyone can be utilitaristes, as seen with a simple example ;

A train has two roads, right and left, on the right side; the train will kill one person. On the left side, the train will kill five people. Which way will you choose ?

In this case, most people will save the five guys, this is what we call the "utilitarisme", and Fujimoto wrote the limits of it. Indeed, he made the trio "Denji, power, aki" so lovable, so endearing and so relatable that we won't see Makima's purpose as good because she killed most of them, because she destroyed them. We are blinded by our feelings. Even tho her actions are useful for the whole world, a lot of people hate her because she hurt a character they like. But, if we resumed chainsaw man as "a better world vs a guy's happiness", everyone would choose the better world except if they know the guy, it will create a feeling of pity, sadness, and you aren't objective anymore (some videos on YT explains a way lot better the idea of utilitarisme).

Chainsaw man is a shonen, most people reading a shonen won't search this deep into a character. Every character is either bad or good. Makima is bad for a lot of readers because she killed other characters.

Every thing up is just a resume of Makima's actions, but if we analyze her more closely, she isn't just there to create a better place for everyone, she wants to create one for her too.

Let's take the chapter 39, she is first seen asking Denji is everything is okay. Then, she invites him to a date, which he accepts happily and without any hesitation. During this date, they are watching movies, and the only one that affect her (and Denji) is a movie about a family, about reuniting with a loved one, with a closed one, with a sibling or a father. It's about genuine love, it's about genuine care. It isn't about war, despair or anything like that, it's about having a family. It's about having someone who cares for you and for who you care too. She is seen crying, a powerful feeling, because she is just always seen smiling or just neutral. This is a sign of her human side, her first desire; to have someone. Not a lover or anything, just someone who loves her, who gives her affection.

As Pochita said, the control devil only wants hugs, only wants someone who is equal to it. Some people see Makima as a "fangirl" of chainsaw man but it's not totally right. Why does she admire him ? Because he is strong, strong enough to defeat her. Makima doesn't know the defeat, Makima doesn't know someone who is stronger than her. The manga perfectly deflects that : everyone is scared of her (aka Quanxi threw her saber/sword when she saw her, she didnt even try to fight Makima). Added to the government who abandons any war against her, it nourishes the idea that she is invincible, it flourished in her. It became as obvious as the water is wet for her; that everyone is inferior. She indeed likes chainsaw man because he can erase any demon, but she also likes him because he can defeat her and it kinda excites her. She is smiling, laughing and excited during this last fight (some thing we never really saw from her). Even if it ended in her being eaten, she is honored and happy to have met someone who can injure her, who isn't going to die against her. When she tore Denji's torso to take Pochita, her first reflex is to squeeze him against her face, to hug him, to say that they are going to be together forever. She is hugging him as if she is craving a physical touch, as if she missed him, we never saw this side of her during the whole manga. So, with all that, Makima just seemed to be a lonely person during her whole life. All her relationships are based on fear or control. And I'm thinking that, even when she was younger or else, it was this way, it was always this way. And it will always be. She wanted to erase the death, maybe she suffered from a loss ? Even tho she wanted to help everyone or to delete any source of suffer, she also wanted to help herself. I'm always thinking that if someone showed Makima a genuine love, a real care, things would be different (but we won't be having this final for the part 1). Maybe she was doing it because she didn't want anyone to be as lonely or to suffer just as her. You know, your perception of love is strongly inspired by the love you see from your parents or between them. Maybe she just didnt have a great "example" of love, of what a real relationship should be.

Kishibe said to Denji to take care of Nayuta so the government cant make "another Makima", she is just a result of it. I think even her doesn't know her true self. Everyone saw her as a goddess, she didnt ask for it, people just feel the need to fall on their knees in front of her. She never described her as a "God" but, of course, for her purposes, she acted like one; she acted like a savior. She just abused the perception that people have of her at first sight.

Comparing a cold blooded Makima to a Makima hugging Pochita is kinda interesting; we have a facade and the true one. She acted all caring and loving after she thought everyone was dead, after she thought she won. You know, it seemed like a relief. She can be herself and start the life she really wanted; a loving one.

To justify what she did to everyone during the manga, don't forget that Makima recognizes people thanks to their smell. I really think she cant identify someone just by the face or the sound of their voice. She said that she saw humans just like humans saw dogs. Being detached to them kinda help her to act like this. She doesn't even see them as human or devil, she cant have any compassion to them. During summer, you can kill an annoying fly, right ? You won't have any remorse, even tho this fly had a life, it was living, you killed it because it was just annoying.

Don't be wrong, I really love Denji, I was sad for what she did to Aki, but I can put this affection aside and just try understand a character's depth.

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