#which. is true but is a bit of an unrelated tangent is this case and also i don't want to get dragged into ship wars

[my-current-obsession]

To be fair, the whole, “I’ll come back to you even if you don’t promise to wait,” is a line pulled directly from OG FFVII. It’s mentioned late game by Cid (who hilariously went to see a showing of loveless in Midgar but fell asleep then woke up just in time to view this ending scene 😂). But if you wanna deep dive on the meaning of this line, it’s worth noting that a version of the line is used in FFVIII in reference to the main ship of that installment — Rinoa and Squall — who also happen to be another mage/swordsman pair. And if you wanna go big brain square enix energy, there’s also the famous, “I’ll come back to you; I promise…I know you will,” between Sora and Kairi in Kingdom Hearts when he goes off on another journey while she awaits his return. If you go down those rabbit holes, it seems square really has a type for their main pairs, no?

I don't remember that line in OG FF7, but it's been years since I played it so I'll take your word for it. But you're right that similar lines/sentiments pop up frequently in other FF and KH games, so yeah, Square has a type. I still think the conversation between Cloud and Aerith in KH2 is the quickest and easiest parallel to make here though, considering the same pair can have basically the same interaction, in an entirely different game. Yes, Cloud could also have this conversation in the play with T or Y. But only Aerith's would have the added depth of being a potential callback/reference to another moment the pair shared.

And considering this game liked to callback to several moments between Cloud and Aerith in the previous game (him remembering their first meeting being what snaps him out of Sephiroth's control, the "will you be okay getting back", "if I said I wasn't" in the ending...) I think it's totally reasonable to assume that Square might have subtly referenced at least one Clerith moment from outside the compilation.

[tigsbitties]

talk to me about karin

Okay I yapped WAYYY more than i meant to um

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual probably. I don’t have any super strong thoughts about this is just feel it in my heart. I’m not sure if that’s something she knows about herself or not though. no time for dat goku. I’ve seen the specific take before that Karin is bisexual with a preference for women but subconsciously likes daan bc he’s effeminate and that’s fun i think. i dont need some queer eyepatched foreigner getting my dick hard :/

Gender Headcanon: I’ve tossed around the idea of him having transmasc swag before— not in a “rude and assertive woman has to be a man” type way (something i see people swear up and down is both common and a problem? but i literally almost never see anyone headcanon canonically female characters as eggs so what’s the truth.) but more so as an extension of the “i know i’m right about this why doesn’t anyone believe me” theme going on with his character (tangent unrelated to this but i think a character who was constantly gaslit growing up who now can’t accept being told they’re wrong about anything bc of the fear of being put back in that situation to be super fucking interesting. Karin i love you.) like spending your childhood being talked down to and having things you know to be factually true about yourself and the world around you be repeatedly denied is a transgender experience i think. i’m not sure in mainline canon this is something he’d ever fully figure out or act upon but you never know.

I think in a modern day au he’d have a deeply cringey teenage truscum phase because stupid fucking Dalia doesn’t believe he’s trans bc “you were such a feminine little girl growing up 🥺 who’s making you do this why are you drifting away from me after all i do for you 🥺🥺” so he takes out that pent up rage on Daan (also a teenager on tumblr in this hypothetical scenario) who he sends anon hate to for triggering his “second hand dysphoria” and will not believe daan when he says he’s cis bc he “types in all lower case” and “has a carrd” . they meet in person years and years later for unrelated reasons with no memory of this. This is a lot of words for a headcanon I don’t even follow consistently I realize.

also jesus pocketcat can you fuck off? he’s wearing his dysphoria jacket.

A ship I have with said character: I am a huge daarin guy to like a HUMILIATING degree. i know that’s like. the most basic ass redditor wholesome chungus ship choice a person could have or whatever but it’s something that canonically has a lot going for it i think. You have to understand that first and foremost i live for banter— which they have in spades, their party talks are so fucking funny. I love having them both as party members when i play through termina— god especially the one about Daan’s soft hands? Why do you know they’re soft? did you feel them? are you susssing this out by just looking? i don’t know which is worse. jesus christ.

but besides that i think this little bit encapsulates a lot about what i find interesting about their dynamic. Karin’s insistence that Daan, because he is visibly wealthy, must be prissy and fragile to over compensate for insecurity at coming from a well off family— completely unaware of the fact Daan has spent large chunks of his childhood fending for himself in the woods. Daan’s complete disinterest i’m giving a serious response because this is such a bizarre thing to get caught up in. “just making small talk” you’re unwell.

The two of them def go beyond “characters i ship for fun”. i do think they’re two halves a whole in that you need one to fully understand the character of the other— like Karin is someone born into aristocracy who has rejected it both because of the ways it’s hurt her (created a scenario in which a malicious adult had unfiltered access to her bc her parents were too busy to care for her making paying someone else to do it more convenient) and more broadly the way it hurts those at the bottom of the class system (which is most people) and how Daan is someone born and horrifically abused at the bottom of that system who managed to weasel his way up the ladder and gain the necessary tools and education to survive at the cost of making a spectacle of, and by extension reliving, that abuse.

Likewise i think the two of them have more aligned goals than they realize. At the end of the day i think both them genuinely really do want to help people— regardless of what subconscious hang ups or insecurities are part of that want. For as stand offish as she is and her tendency to antagonize those who probably don’t deserve it, Karin is deeply passionate about the welling being of others and will do anything she thinks is necessary for a greater good— even if it may come across as exploitative or insensitive. Like there is definitely 100% an element of ego to it— the idea of “if i help others then that makes me a good person™️ and i should be praised for being a good person™️” is totally there— but it’s not all there is to it you know?

Likewise Daan being a doctor coexists as both a testament to his own lack of agency in his life and how his body can be used and discarded how anyone else sees fit if it’s for a greater good and as something he does because he cares about other people and wants to put good into the world. Like even if he comes to the conclusion that the people of prehevil are too far gone to be helped in a way that matters, he still makes the effort to figure out if something can be done about it. And i do think it’s a testament to his character that he mentions his primary clients he sees are prostitutes— people who are made to feel ashamed and dirty for their occupation, something he can empathize with and would want to help without judgement. I like the argument Daan and Karin have in the slums about why these people are sick and what they should be doing about it, because at the end of the day no matter how badly their personalities may clash they want the same thing. Alright buddy you got two options here. you can either have someone help you to affirm their ego or as a form of self harm. those are your choices. choose wisely.

I also really like that like. Karin’s an atheist in the actual sense of that word where she doesn’t believe in gods or magic in a world where that stuff is very tangibly real and Daan is an atheist in the way characters in christian movies are atheists where they do believe in god they just have personal beef with him. do you understand. i like this party talk a lot

In general i think they strike such a good balance with their clashing personalities of having very real issues with each other that are interesting to explore while also having banter that is genuinely really fun to read in a game so often as unpleasant as termina. I’ve seen people complain about people watering down Karin’s “genuine hatred for daan” for the sake of fluffy ship content— and i can see that broadly from the angle of “art and fics about on these two tend to focus on them arguing in a light hearted cutesy without exploring why they clash in the first place” but also like? idk i think “genuine hatred” is a bit strong for what in the game itself largely leads to comic banter. I think there can be emotional complexity intertwined with lighthearted scenarios. I don’t think anyone’s light hearted daarin post canon is hurting anyone or necessarily means they “didn’t understand” the source material.

In general the appeal to me from a romantic standpoint comes in the form of seeing how these characters who have already established strong feelings towards each other in an incredibly short amount of time could potentially develop if given the chance to. And i don’t even think i see them ever “dating” per say? I think their relationships with the concept of romance in a traditional sense would be very complicated and not something easily applied to each other— but i think in a post canon scenario where they’re both still alive there’s plenty of opportunity for an emotional intensity to form there— one that’s not entirely negative or positive. I think like it or not they have the best chance at understanding each other, even if it takes work to get there. Also their soul types match. if you evennnn care.

TLDR: they’re this image to me

A BROTP I have with said character: I don’t think i’d have a strong opinion on it if it wasn’t for the sheer amount of cute art of them, but i’ve become super endeared to Karin and Abella. less “BROTP” and more “thing i ship just less than the thing i mentioned above” . not something i have incredibly strong opinions on currently but i’d love to listen to someone who does speak about it. OH OH ALSO the post about Daan, Karina, Abella, and O’saa being in a polycule? Literal Peak. that is like the perfect cast of characters we have reached scooby doo levels of perfect character group.

A NOTP I have with said character: Not a fan of her and Pav but not something i care about or think about that much.

A random headcanon: I can totally see her being the type of person who doesn’t like cats and thinks they’re obnoxious and asocial and yadda yadda until a stray sort of worms it’s way into her apartment and she can’t get rid of it and now she has a cat forever. Its so annoying and she hates it sooo bad (it is the most spoiled animal on the planet). I can also def see her needing to get glasses at some point— mostly bc i think it would look nice on her. adds an extra layer of “old man who wants to sit on his chair read his newspaper and smoke his pipe”ness to her. I also crucially think she has OCD but that is a topic way better suited for another day I HAVE YAPPED ENOUGH. OH OH and i know her jacket was probably given to her by one of her brothers which if true makes me wanna eat sand and die but it would also be really funny if the unspecified “he” who gifted it to her was like. a scorned ex lover. Daan and Karin being each others rebound is an idea that makes me laugh way harder than it should.

General Opinion over said character: Karin is definitely one of the fear and hunger characters of all time to me and it makes me really sad to see her get reduced to “bitchy delusional woman” bc of her, very understandable given the everything, paranoia and stubbornness. Her backstory especially fucks me up so bad i feel a little insane that i never see anyone talk about it? like jesus christ. I think she’s a character who is both deeply entertaining and has a lot of emotional depth that makes her really fun to poke at.

[rubykgrant]

(I'm still try to gather my thoughts and write everything together in a way that works, but I'm hoping to continue my RVB Interviews again soon! For now, I'm sharing the beginning of Sarge's segment again; after all, it's called RED vs Blue, we gotta start with RED, and that means the REDDEST RED TO EVER RED~)

He was already in his chair, more than eager to share his thoughts and what was certain to be a “colorful history” regarding himself.

Andrews rolled her eyes, but also smiled; considering Sarge’s reputation, it would be more concerning if he was acting “timid”.

“I see you’ve decided not to wait,” she commented, taking her own seat.

“A-course! Save the BEST for FIRST!” he answered proudly. “Besides, listening to everybody else babble for too long might put ‘ya to sleep, and we can’t have that. They’re so easily distracted. Going off on tangents of unrelated topics and what-not,”

“Well, I’m not sure where you want to start-”

“I WAS BORN 29 YEARS AGO! I’VE BEEN THE PROUD LEADER OF RED TEAM FOR 20 YEARS! I CAME INTO THIS WORLD WEARING RED ARMOR, AND I’LL GO OUT OF THIS WORLD WEARING RED ARMOR!”

“Now, now…” Andrews said, her voice both amused and patient. “I won’t be exposing any secrets you want to keep, you’ll have the final word on what information I share publicly, but between the two of us? Let’s try to keep things simple, and honest. After all, we ARE on a first-name basis!”

The old soldier was quiet for a moment. A short moment, but for Sarge, being silent was about as rare as hen’s teeth.

“Fair enough, Dylan…” he answered at last. “But the name is one of the things we keep quiet about, understand?”

“Absolutely… can I ask one question, though? Just for my own curiosity,” her curiosity often got the best of her, and certainly created problems occasionally… but that was why she was a reporter. Curiosity might have killed the cat, but satisfaction is what kept bringing her back.

“Hmph. Fine. Shoot,”

“I’ve never heard a name like yours before. Just what was the inspiration when it was chosen for you?”

Another quiet moment. Andrews was beginning to think he was simply going to ignore the question, and if that was the case, she would move on rather than press the subject. However-

“When I was born, which was MORE than 29 years ago, I ADMIT IT… m’family didn’t name me right away. Not too many infants survived their first few weeks at the time… it was a different world back then, see- you’re too young, you never lived in a war-zone, but that’s what it was like. So, they waited to see if… well, you know how you’re not supposed to name anything, or else you’ll get attached? ‘Folks were worried about getting attached to ME, because maybe I wasn’t even gonna live too long… but a few weeks went by, then a couple months, and I was still breathin’!” he chuckled a bit to himself before continuing.

“I guess I was the only baby that made it, and the group of survivors my family stayed with- they all supported each other. A whole bunch of people took turns watching over this little bundle of joy! Everybody had a different name they liked to call me, and when it was time to give me a REAL name… it all got combined together. One big name, from more than a dozen different people, who all came from different places, and spoke different languages… I was the only baby any of them had, so I suppose they gave me all the names of… their own kids who couldn’t be with them…”

“That’s… oh, Sarge, I don’t know what to say, that’s INCREDIBLE. It might be the sweetest thing’ I’ve ever heard-” it was true, Andrews didn’t know what it was like to be born directly into a war-zone; and at the time the man sitting in front of her was a child, the Earth had been under attack by enemies from outer space… not to mention all the never-ending fights between humans who decided they hated other humans enough to kill each other. No, she hadn’t lived through that, but she had seen documents and footage.

Many towns and cities were destroyed, and groups of people would try to band together; they formed new little communities, some traveling like nomads, others attempting to stay in one place, but all generally learning to rely on one another for safety and survival. Generations of children were lost during this time… from injury, illness, or lack of food. To think that she was now speaking to somebody who had grown up in that world, protected and nurtured by an extended-family of people who had been brought together by necessity, but stayed together by choice. That choice had, in fact, been to make sure a child could LIVE.

“I know, I know! Tragic and heart-warming… it’s practically Oscar-bait! But remember what we agreed on, not a word to anybody else! Bad enough that whipper-snapper apple-Jax knows…” he grumbled.

“Yes, I understand…” she couldn’t help but get a little choked-up, though.

“And, for the record- I mean, this is OFF the record, make sure to keep it that way! But just so YOU know, I’m not a bit embarrassed about my name! That’s not why I don’t wanna share it… it’s just…” Sarge seemed to struggle to find the words. “The people who named me are gone. All of them. And this wasn’t just my name, it was the name I shared with the all the children they lost… someday, I’m probably going to die on a battlefield, being taken out by an enemy, and God-willing, I’ll be wearing my RED ARMOR, going out with my boots on- but when that happens, whoever kills me… I don’t wanna hear them saying that name. It was good name that good people gave me, so…”

“So, you don’t want somebody who hates you to use the name that was made by people who loved you,” Andrews finished.

“Hurrrgh- if you WANT to read into it like that and add lots of mushy, emotional subtext, sure!” Sarge made several grunts and groans, crossing his arms over his chest and turning his helmet away to avoid looking at her.

“You are a surprisingly deep and sensitive individual, Sarge…” Andrews marveled.

“NO I AIN’T! YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW! I AM A ONE-DIMENSIONAL CHARACTER, A FLAT STEREO-TYPE OF ALL GRUFF MILITARY MEN, AND DON’T YOU FORGET IT!” The man now stood up, striking a heroic pose, raising one knee to place a foot upon his now empty chair, both hands clenched into fists and resting against his hips, the visor of his helmet pointed upward.

“I’VE NEVER HAD AN OUNCE OF PERSONAL GROWTH, AND I NEVER WILL! OTHER SOLDIERS WEAR THEIR ARMOR, BUT I AM THE ARMOR! I AM THE BACK-BONE OF RED TEAM! AND THE BRAINS! AND THE FISTS! ALSO, THE WEAPONS IN THE FISTS! IF YOU SAY MY NAME THREE TIMES AFTER SUMMONING BLOODY MARY, I SHOW UP AND SCARE HER OFF! FREDDY KRUEGER HAS NIGHTMARES ABOUT ME! I AM-”

“You are the Reddest Red to ever Red, yes, I know. I’ll be sure to keep that for the interview. That way, everybody will know the REAL you!” Andrews promised. Sarge gave a single nod of his approval, and quickly sat back down, as if nothing had happened.. “But, just in case…”

Sarge made a cartoonishly over-the-top growling noise at this. Andrews ignored that, and pushed on.

“If there is possibly some hidden layers, maybe some insight or… the method to your madness? I do still have a few more questions. As I said before, you’re free to skip anything you don’t want to answer. What do you say, Sarge?”

“Alright. Fine. Hurry up ‘n ask, before I change my mind!” that was settled, it seemed.

[babygirldennis]

This shit is fake bby!!!

Here she is.. My masterpost of all the dumb, illogical bits of info contained within these s15 “leaks” that make me fairly confident they are complete bullshit. It also includes my little tinhat theories that have absolutely no evidence.

I will be putting it all under a Readmore in case you don't want to risk it or if you simply Do Not Care

First up, I'd like to point out that these call sheets repeatedly give very detailed backstories to characters that have few lines which conveniently paints a picture of each episode's plot. And I'm not an expert so correct me if I'm wrong, but after looking at other similar casting calls, they only ever include the demographic and necessary skills.

Basically who in their right mind would write up casting calls that give away so many spoilers? Seems like that could cause and issue if they were leaked lol. But anyway that's my 1st point. But onto the actual content

So the conceit of this episode as a whole is that during the pandemic, the gang "gamed the system" and received three (3!) Loans to start businesses that went bankrupt. One of these businesses is implied to be the one started by dee and charlie who end up selling to Qanon shaman. Already this is so impossible baby.

1. We've already seen the gang try to get a loan and it didn't work. They don't have good ideas. Ur telling me, they managed to finagle 3 separate loans for 3 separate business ideas from an actual bank?

2. Maybe I just have bad reading comprehension but how does one have a business that is both fictitious and bankrupt?

3. If the customer is supposed to be Qanon shaman, an actual real life guy, why are the only descriptors white and male? They say he's shirtless so are they going to paint on all of the tattoos he has? And if so, doesn't that kind of ruin the dramatic reveal when charlie "throws in" the viking helmet? Why would he do that anyways? Sus.

Moving on

Alright this episode would fucking blow for obvious reasons but im going to refrain from looking at this through my gay dennis thruther lens because im biased.

Purely from a narrative standpoint, a woman hasn't been shown to be interested in dennis in nearly 5 years during the wade boggs episode. Ever since, every single woman he approaches has been actively creeped out by him. And now I'm supposed to believe that 3 "smart, passionate woman" (In Their Twenties!!!!!!) agreed to go on a date with him? And Anna even slept with him! Just because he what? Agreed with her? I'm not buyin it.

Plus the concept of this scenario lacks any potential for comedy. When iasip gets political, they always discuss a very specific topic using hyperbolic situations and flawed metaphors. If this is supposed to be a political episode, what ultimately lukewarm point would rob be trying to make here? So far we know they're ranting about

The patriarchy

Privilege

Socialism

No more personal responsibility(?)

The... nature of power in society(??)

How on earth would an episode like get approved? This shit sounds like a Ted talk. It sounds like it was written specifically to sound like a political episode so boring and pointless it would generate outrage and mile long essay posts from Tumblr users and reddit users alike. Almost like this one lol.

On a completely unrelated note, do not try and convince me that Frank "casual cock ring wearer" Reynolds is unable to perform.

Jeez this is getting out of hand fast. Let's move on

Ok now we're starting to getting into the Ireland of it all. Let me go on a bit of a tangent here about all this.. Now I thinq there are just 3 possibilities. Either this is all a publicity stunt and there is some truth to the Ireland rumors, the entire thing could be bogus from some weirdo fan (ps, if a fan did write this I want you to know I fucking hate you. You did this to me), or it is a publicity stunt but Ireland is just more bullshit.

I am going to assume it was a publicity stunt, otherwise I just wasted my entire evening and I can't have that kind of mentality rn. Additionally, I'm Going to tinhat here for a second and say that the Ireland rumors are true, but the details are different.

I say this because if they were going to do filming in Ireland, they probably figured that that information would be impossible to hide. In essence, my completely unfounded hypothesis is that this leak was their fucked up little way of controlling the situation while simultaneously messing with us.

Ok tangent is over, returning to the casting calls. From the looks of it, dee starts a "scam" acting class and has some very devoted students (Note that Tony was also the name of the porn shop owner. Seems weird!) Presumably after the gang replaces her with a monkey as the title suggests.

Honestly, there isn't too much here that's a red flag to me... seems like a nice little dee-centric episode that is the link to the Dublin angle. Assuming I am At All right, this could be a genuine plotline for Dee. However, the monkey could be a red herring and there could be a whole different side plot with the guys. who's to say. Next one!

Ah yes this is the dennis we all know and despise.. no red flags for me here really, I'm also running out of steam because idk if it shows, but I am majorly sleep deprived atm. Anyway I'm going to the next one

Okay this is where things start getting weird again ough a migraine just hit, anyway back to my earlier point about how casting calls would never contains major spoilers bc the people who see these wont be under any kind of NDA..

These ones reveal that bonnie dies. Again, that info wouldn't be in a casting call.

But also they suggest charlie has a irish penpal named Shelley who is his biological father. First off charlie is illiterate, although as pointed out by @undeadbreeze shelley could also be communicating in symbols. However, this scenario is still unbelievable to me for a couple reasons:

1. Bonnie's last name is Kelly obviously, and we know it's her maiden name because Jack's last name is also Kelly. But Shelley's last name is... also Kelly? In the context of this big ol hoax, it feels like it was written to show that look! his last name is the same as charlie's! That's how you know that's his dad! But It would be way too big of a coincidence if charlie's dad happened to have the same last name bonnie.

And 2. There's the whole mystery of charlie's long-lost sister from 'charlie got molested' but never any mention of a brother which according to this, shelley has been pretending to be his brother for years. And we all know how much rcg loves their continuity, it seems uncharacteristically lazy to just tack this on without any prior buildup.

And finally let me talk about mac for a second and specifically the line in gus's summary "both are gay men who are attracted to the priesthood for all the wrong reasons"

Iasip has commented on pedophilia in the priesthood many times in the past which leads me to believe that they are implying that mac is a pedophile? Please let me know if I completely misread the implications of that statement, but if not, then that is completely insane and one of the biggest indictators that this is fake. Mac is awful, just like everyone in the gang but he is definitely not a pedophile.

However even if i did completely misread that, it's still proof this is fake.. For all his faults, Rob put a surprising amount of care and effort into mac's coming-out. It hasn't been perfect, but Mfhp in particular firmly established that mac's faith is integral to his identity so Its unlikely that rob would throw all of that away for a cheap shot at priests.

Ok my brain is irradiated sludge at this point, but in conclusion. I hope that 1. I'm right, at least about it being fake (Otherwise damb that'll be so humiliating for me) And 2. This eases ur fears a bit. I don't want to lose all faith in future seasons bc I love iasip and miss the gang. If you read this far youre insane but I literally love you so goddamn much because I spent so so long tapping this out on my silly little phone

Please feel free to add on or message me your thoughts and opinions I need to know I'm not the only one who uhhh went a bit insane. And finally: whoever made these is a cunt. Mwah.

[consumeconstantly]

If at first you don’t succeed... just live with your mistake

“My mommy’s the Style Queen.”

“Well my mommy’s an Italian Ambassador.”

Chloe scoffs. “So? My dad is the Mayor of Paris.”

AKA Chloe and Lila have a dick measuring contest.

______________________________________________________________

“This is your fault, Audrey! She acts exactly like you when you’re jet lagged and caffeine deprived. She definitely got it from you.”

“Excuse me?” Audrey delicately slams her iced mocha down on the imported Rosewood table. “She got it from me? I’m not the one whose name Chloe has dropped in every one of her little school fights.”

“I just don’t understand.” Gianna Rossi nurses her head in her hand. The whiskey  that was delivered to her didn’t have the opportunity for water to condense on the sides, so the table remains free of stains. “How did Lila end up this way? I’ve always tried to lead by example, and I spend as much time with her as I can!”

Audrey pats Gianna’s forearm with a gloved hand. “Maybe it’s just teenage rebellion, darling.”

“I wish,” Gianna says, glumly. “Do you think it’s because she grew up without one of her parents?”

“Nonsense,” Andre waves his hand, still wearing the pretentious ribbon that proclaims he is the mayor of Paris. “Chloe grew up with a mother, and she turned out exactly the same way.”

He mutters more quietly, “Though a mother that was gone so often she might as well not have even been there.”

Audrey smacks Andre on the arm. “You know very well that you were gone more often when she was a baby. We agreed that we would rotate focusing on our careers every few years.”

“Yes, honey, but I’ve been on Chloe duty for the past eight years. You only took care of her when she was a toddler.”

“Who was the one who had to change diapers Andre? The one who woke up at 3 AM to feed her? The one who taught her the goddamn alphabet? Tell me that, Andre, tell me that.”

Gianna motions for another drink to be brought over by the butler that Andre and Audrey employ. Audrey holds up a hand and shakes her head. “Don’t do it, Gianna. It’s almost 4:30. School is going to get out soon.”

Pressing her head up against the lacquered wood, Gianna sighs. “All the more reason for me to drink.”

“You don’t want to be inebriated when you have to deal with Lila, do you?”

“I do,” Gianna wails. “I have to be! Do you know that Lila makes me drink more than my job does? And I’m the one who has to file all of those awful akuma attacks that always end up targeting Italian tourists because some people are still not over what we did in World War II!”

“Italy did do a lot of awful things back then,” Andre mutters.

“Shut it! Whether it’s right or wrong, one akuma attack out of every twenty five deals specifically with the prejudice against Italy. Italian tourists get caught up in seven attacks out ten. I’ve had to issue so many incident reports that I think I’m going to get carpal tunnel soon.”

“I can’t believe you have the statistics on those.”

Gianna’s voice shoots up two octaves. “You’re the mayor of Paris. Shouldn’t you be keeping track of statistics like these?”

“Ah,” Andre laughs awkwardly. “Of course I am. But back on topic. Who do you think it’s going to be this time? Chloe or Lila?”

A moment of silence. Then, in tandem, all three of their phones buzz.

“You just had to jinx it, didn’t you, Andre?” Audrey pulls out a pocket mirror, reapplies her lipstick, then stands. “Let’s go see what our girls did this time, non?”

Placing her sunglasses over her eyes, Audrey continues, “A hundred euros that the Dupain-Cheng girl will be one of their targets.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, honey. That girl has too much of a spine for either of them to get her involved.”

Gianna sobs for the umpteenth time that afternoon. “If Lila was just a little bit more like Marinette, so many of my problems would be relieved! Do you think if I pay her enough, she’ll be friends with my daughter?”

Audrey and Andre exchange glasses. Andre shakes his head. “Friendship won’t work. We tried to get our Chloe to play with Adrien. He’s still as well-mannered as ever, but Chloe… In any case, I’ll raise your hundred euro bet to one fifty and say that Sabrina will be involved.”

“That’s no fun,” Audrey complains. “You always take the obvious bets.”

The three parents make their way to Andre’s limo. Gianna may or may not take two shots of vodka on her way there.

#

“Chloekins!” Andre stretches his arms out to his daughter. His bad knee pops twice as he gets down to kneel.

“I don’t know why he insists on playing good cop bad cop when it hasn’t worked once in the past five years,” Audrey says to Gianna. 

“At least you have a significant other to make that work. I have to be the good cop and the bad cop, all in one person, and it hasn’t worked ever. Maybe I should try looking for other single parents. Adrien’s father is single, right? And Adrien is such a sweetheart. Maybe I should try--”

Audrey waves her clutch slightly in the air to cut her off. “Trust me when I say that is an awful idea. Not only does the man still believe Emilie is alive, but he also keeps an obscene amount of iconography of her in his bedroom in his manor. And even if he somehow gets over Emilie, wish isn’t going to happen anytime soon, that snake, Nathalie, has been waiting in the wings even before Adrien was born.”

Gianna’s shoulders slump. “I thought ‘the good ones are all taken’ is only a phrase that’s supposed to be used by students.”

“Daddy!” Chloe stomped her foot. “I demand that you deport this-- this miscreant from Paris at once!”

“Daddy’s so proud of you for learning a new big word.” Andre continues to fawn over his daughter while Chloe and Lila’s classmates look on disgustedly at the dual display of affection and undermining Chloe’s intelligence. Nino lets out something that sounds suspiciously like, “Sick burn, dude.”

“Daddy!” Chloe’s voice gets even higher, and Audrey counts at least five of Chloe’s classmates cover their ears and wince. Andre glances back at Audrey, clearly expecting her to come in and lay down the law. Audrey doesn’t even bother raising an eyebrow in disbelief, She just stays completely still until her husband gets the point and turns back to their daughter, shoulders slumped.

“Sweetheart, we can’t just deport Lila for no reason,” Andre tries to placate Chloe, unsuccessfully. Somehow, the classmates and the teacher have gotten a hold of popcorn, and are now sharing it amongst themselves. 

“I told you. It’s not for no reason. It’s because she’s a miscreant!”

Andre falters. He’s always given into Chloe’s demands, and Audrey has always been the one to fix things after. He gives in. “Okay, sweetheart. Then we can--”

“Hold on.” Gianna steps in between Andre and Chloe. Audrey smells alcohol coming from her mouth. Gianna’s cheeks are slightly pink. Audrey, herself, doesn’t believe in midday drinking, or really, drinking at all-- she thinks that it ruins skin and that inebriated people simply aren’t attractive-- but perhaps if Audrey wasn’t so involved in the fashion world, she’d be a little more similar to Mme. Rossi. “How about we hear both sides of the story before deciding what needs to be done?”

Lila and Chloe lock eyes, then immediately turn away with each other, crossing their arms at the exact same time. If Audrey didn’t remember every detail of Chloe’s birth because it was so painful, she’d be inclined to believe that the two girls were twins, or siblings at the very least. They’re just too similar in their mannerisms to believe that they’re completely unrelated.

Fluttering her eyelashes and playing up the image of a false saint that precisely nobody in the school believes anymore, Lila, looks at Andre and Gianna through watery eyes. “Chloe was bullying people! I simply had to intervene.”

“That’s not true! She was the one who started it!”

Gianna sighs. If she were any less of a woman, she would immediately buckle to the ground. But she’s been dealing with the Italian-Parisian politics, which are often fraught with tension, for nearly three decades, and with one Lila Rossi for thirteen years. “Why don’t we hear from an impartial third party?”

The three parents turn on the rest of the classroom. Sometime during the chaos, Caline Bustier fainted, and was promptly escorted to the nurse’s office by Mylene and Ivan. No matter. Caline isn’t the most… impartial or intelligent person they have to choose from. Audrey does feel slightly responsible for her lack of intelligence, as Chloe beaned Caline in the head with objects of various size and weight throughout Ecole, which is why the woman isn’t out of a job. 

“Marinette and Adrien. Why don’t the two of you tell us what happened?” Audrey points at the two teens that are whispering to each other. They certainly have an interesting dynamic. If Marinette was taller, she’d love to have the two of them model for some of her shoots, together. No matter. She still has time to grow, and she has it on good word that Sabine is doing all she can to make sure her daughter grows to at least Tom’s height.

Chloe gasps. “You remember Maritrash’s name, but not mine?”

Beneath her sunglasses, Audrey rolls her eyes. Really, she makes one attempt at the younger generation’s humor, and it backfires on her horribly. She fired the intern who recommended that joke to her, so there’s really nothing more to be done. This is why it’s just so much easier to be harsh. 

Luckily, Adrien deescalates the situation before Chloe starts on a second tangent that will likely end in tears instead of a fit of rage. Audrey wonders if she’s really that emotional when she’s jetlagged and in need of a pick-me-up. She’ll have to ask her assistant, next time.

“Well, it really started as two seprate issues at first.” Adrien rubs the back of his head and looks down at his feet. Maybe there’s a tradeoff. Indiscriminate rage in exchange for common sense. Confidence exchanged for timidity. “Chloe was… upset because she didn’t get a perfect on the last assignment Sabrina submitted for her.”

Audrey rolls her eyes again. What, there’s a reason she wears sunglasses everywhere she goes. She simply can’t deal with people’s stupidity, or when people make clearly exaggerated-- or in this case, very, very, almost criminally under exaggerated, judging by the bruises forming on Sabrina’s knees-- claims.

“And Lila was spinning another lie about Jagged Stone to Nino. Something about her being his lovechild,” Marinette finished. Now there’s a girl who has confidence, is more than confident at her craft, and is pretty. Really, the only negative things that she’s heard about the girl is that she’s sort of a clutz and rather bad at getting places on time, but both of those can be remedied. Etiquette class and a personal driver, and everything will be fixed. 

There’s also the small matter about her apparently having the capability of picking locks and hyper fixating on whatever she likes, but Audrey has been trapped by men trying to get a ransom from Andre at least four separate times, and she wouldn’t be here today if she wasn’t a bit of a daredevil of lycee. As for the hyperfixation, so long as she’s able to move onto a new area of interest in time for each new collection, Audrey sees no reason why Marinette can’t excel in the fashion world.

“Lila Rossi! You know you are not the daughter of Jagged Stone! You’re going to be grounded for two weeks!”

Marinette nudges Adrien. “Excuse me, Mme. Rossi. Why don’t we finish the whole story before issuing any punishments? There’s… more.”

Adrien is associated with that good boy next door kind of aesthetic, but he pulls off unintentionally mildly ominous like he was born to do so. 

“The short of it is that Chloe pushed Sabrina, Sabrina fell onto Lila, and that made Lila and Nino kiss. After that,” Marinette eyes Nino, who is wiping his mouth with his eighth wet wipe and being soothed by Alya with an arm on his shoulder. “Well, things kind of devolved from there.”

“You mean,” Chloe hisses. “That this wannabe pulled my hair, scratched my face, and knocked me to the ground!”

“You made me bleed!” Lila pulls her sleeve up. There aren’t actually any marks, but there aren’t any marks on Chloe, either. 

“They did roll around on the floor for a while,” Alya admits, “But both of them were so up in each other’s business that it's difficult to make out who actually landed a hit on who, if either of them did manage to hurt each other. I have the footage, but even after we watched it a few times, it really just looks like the two of them are bear hugging each other on the floor.”

“Are you guys forgetting the real victims here?” Kim half shouts. “My beautiful face!”

Alix slaps him on the back. “Don’t worry about it. If it scars, it’ll just make you look mysterious. If it doesn’t… well I can’t say that your looks were ever good to begin with.”

Sabrina shuffles her feet. She’s definitely less injured than Kim’s nail scratches, with only bruising on one arm and on both of her knees. 

“Chloe didn’t do anything bad,” she defends. “She’s perfect just the way she is!”

“That’s right, servant.”

Marinette turns to Adrien with a question in her eyes. He nods. 

She bangs her head against his shoulder.

“Sorry about that, Chloe’s voice just really grates on me sometimes. I need to knock my head in order to get the ringing to stop.”

Lila shoots a smug look at the blonde girl. “See?”

“Lila’s too,” Marinette says, then bangs her head against Adrien’s shoulder one more time for good measure. “Adrien, Alya, do either of you want to continue?”

Adrien pulls Marinette into his chest. Alya steps forwards as the Champion of the Truth. “After their catfight, Kim and Sabrina broke them up. Sabrina took Chloe, Kim took Lila. After the two of them were separated, Mlle. Bustier went to M. Damocle’s office so all three of you were contacted. Chloe tried to go at Lila again once Sabrina loosened her hold, but Marinette geupplexed her.”

“Seriously,” Marinette stares at Chloe’s completely unruffled appearance. “What kind of hairspray does Chloe even use? Her hair is made of steel.”

“Her hairspray is made from venom and spite, dude.”

The tell tale sirens of a police car approach. “Oh, by the way, did M. Damocles not tell you that the police were going to take both of them in for questioning?”

“No,” Gianna Rossi says, curling in on herself. “No, he most definitely did not.”

Chloe and Lila are led away in handcuffs while the parents stand in a group, almost numbly.

“Why are our children like this?” Gianna pulls her hair. She’s had to take off so much time from her job this month alone in order to accommodate Lila’s ridiculous behaviors.  

“Be comforted by the fact that they’re not working together. Can you imagine the kind of plans they’d think up?”

“Actually,” Alya interjects. “They have. Were you never contacted for the time they sent Marinette flying out the window?”

“WHAT?”

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

[4/5] Jae for his knowledge of the shadiness one had to indulge in to survive the wizarding underworld – reminds me of the Chinese phrase “人在江湖，身不由己” (yes, I know he is Korean) for one’s lack of control once in too deep. Chiara for her nearly self-detrimental levels of empathy, open-mindedness (“Who am I to say what is and isn't possible?”), and reluctance to hastily condemn anyone other than maybe herself.

Oh wait, is it confirmed that Jae is Korean? That’s pretty cool! I wasn’t sure if it had been stated. I know Matt London has confirmed that Tulip is Japanese (and on an unrelated note, she inherited her grandmother’s wand.) but either way, this is a phrase that I really like for Jae and it kind of suits him. The whole concept of self control and the ability to turn back once you’re in too deep, and the autonomy that you’ve relinquished. Something tells me that this will be a factor in Merula’s story and is overall a theme. Like not even just for R, though that came into play when they “employed” Jacob. But across the Potterverse, we see this when Draco and Regulus become Death Eaters before they’re even legal adults. We still don’t know when Merula was recruited by R, but I’m going with the theory that they’ve been in contact with her all along. That it began at some point in Year 1. In which case, Merula is quite literally trapped. I think of it like the mob. Would the Cabal really just let her walk away at this point, if she wanted to? Hell no. She knows too much, and she’s in a position to be useful to them. Her options are probably to comply willingly, comply under the Imperius Curse, or wind up dead in a dark alley. This. This is why I still sympathize with her, by the way. 

Sorry, I got off on a bit of a tangent there. You were talking about Jae. Seriously, I could see him being someone who was brought up to speed and was able to guess, to gauge the situation for exactly what it is. Because he’s street-smart to this kind of thing. He may not know the ways of R exactly, but he knows dark witches and wizards. And then there’s Chiara, the equal and opposite purity of sweetness, kindness and understanding. Bless Chiara. We do not deserve this angel. But seriously, I love the whole idea of her being open minded to all possibilities. Though I say that, and I suddenly recall that she very quickly wrote off the Quibbler as being nonsense. Though she was rather easily convinced to open her mind a little more. I definitely can see her being hesitant though. What you said about her not wanting to immediately condemn someone apart from herself...oof, I felt that. Right to my core. It’s so true and it breaks my heart for her.

[breezeinmonochromenight]

Eh, fuck it. I’m goin’ in (by request). 

In head actual canon, Vergil is written as a quintessential anti-villain, but later on also displays quite a few of the traits of a Byronic hero.

Anti-Villains usually have mostly good, well-meaning, or reasonable end goals (e.g. seeking power to protect themselves). However, their means of getting to those goals are pretty dark — usually anging from undesirable to evil. Alternatively, their goals may even be selfish or have long-term consequences for others that they don't care about, but they usually do have some good in them and would typically team up with the hero if their goals/means to achieve those goals didn't conflict with those of the hero or the hero’s ideals. (e.g. totally kill Arkham for being a traitor and a clown - not necessarily in the correct order - but still want to use your fancy new rotating Monopoly property to gain unspeakable power).

Byronic Heroes have strong passions regarding their ideals, but are nonetheless still deeply flawed individuals who may act in ways which are socially reprehensible because it is contrary to mainstream society’s beliefs. Byronic heroes are on their own side and have their own set of beliefs that they will not bow for. They will not change those beliefs for anyone. A Byronic hero is a character whose internal conflicts are heavily romanticized and one who ponders and wrestles with their beliefs and the struggle that comes with those beliefs. Vergil does exactly this by being a jade-colored glasses type cynic that has a dark and troubled past that he was shaped by. He even has the romantic element of this trope in the form of the mysterious tryst that produced his son.

Both of these are well-used tropes that can be used to add a lot of dimension to a character. And in this case, it is, and this is why people are interested in Vergil. The writers of DMC have pretty much stuck to this characterization to different degrees to reflect Vergil’s experiences — with him going from a straight-faced, no-nonsense, arrogant teenager with a ton of repressed emotional baggage in DMC3 to a slightly softer, more sarcastic version of himself in DMC5 that’s willing to win the age-old rivalry by default... a thing Vergil would never have done in DMC3. Ever. If one was to actually shut up and pay attention, they might pick up on just how big a deal these tiny little changes in behavior actually are as emotionally repressed as Vergil.

In the canon script, Vergil is actually a bit of a fucking brat in DMC3, and does not really give a shit about anything except his pursuit of power, and he pays dearly for the decisions he makes he makes as a jilted teenager at the end of the game. He cares about only himself at the beginning of DMC5 because he is finally fucking free of his Nelo Angelo prison, but he is dying and he is desperate and desperate people do desperate things. 

Whenever I see a very daft woman-child with clearly lot of hang-ups attacking people in fandoms and screeching nonsense, I often wonder ‘what went wrong?’. A weak sense of belonging is correlated to depression, and groups with shared interests, more often than not, do wonders for mental health. I also notice that women-children like this tend to make fun of other women and men (and they are men if they are in a certain age range - 18+ generally - manhood is not defined by who they are attracted to) and non-binary folks for ‘fawning’ over a character, I wonder just how fucking deeply sexually repressed you have to be in order to be this angry over other people expressing affection/shared interests in a fictional person.

I’m reminded of the time they mentioned those 3 background characters ‘fangirling’ over Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, because he was traditionally handsome guy and they, like the first time viewer, didn’t know just how awful he actually was. This doesn’t really have anything to do with the original topic, at all, so I also find myself wondering this person is projecting their anger issues onto random fictional characters again, and why they seem to have such a grudge against women or anyone they feel is completion/threat.

I’m also reminded that they clearly don’t understand Fight Club, either, or they wouldn’t be emulating Tyler Durden and using snowflake to describe both real people and fictional characters. They would get that the movie is a warning against hyper-masculinity and that, in calling things ‘snowflake’ in true Tyler Durden fashion, they create a very special type of irony where they externalize an idea about not being unique in order to create their own unique identity in opposition. 

I also wonder why they mention the whole Punisher thing at all, and just assume they’re raging because because their Twitter got suspended for death threats to politicians/harassing game devs/getting destroyed in political debates by actual fucking racists and Neo-Nazis that should have been fucking cake to clown on, because all this person can do is spew the same 5-7 insults and threats despite these people being legitimately horrible people. Then I move on, because this is all fucking ridiculous as is, and I realize that my thoughts are already gonna be long enough.

Lastly, I wonder what clown fuckers and monster fuckers have to do with Vergil in this context? Like at all? Regardless of my own personal preferences, I only see someone who is angry over other people’s sexual preferences and attraction because they don’t understand their own and going off on weird, unrelated tangents because of it. It makes me wonder if they would be angry if I expressed interest in space Nazis who are not attractive by conventional means and go about being complicit to mass genocide on a planetary scale while also actually committing patricide?  

Christ on a Bike.

*Sigh* I have to do all the heavy lifting, don’t I?

Might really is everything (to Vergil, because he sees it as a means to an end and the only to avoid being hurt again). And he takes this way, way too far and pays for it dearly.

Some people are too arrogant and too stupid to look past their own nose* and try to understand that people can make cataclysmically stupid decisions when they get pushed too far into a corner and see no other way out.

The way I see it, Vergil and Dante were already abnormal children that had a severely fucked up childhood — one that was defined by a horrific event they experienced from two separate, very different perspectives. Children are incredibly impressionable and their brains are like sponges — I could not imagine being scared and alone with something after me and having no one come look for me. It would scar me no matter what the explanation was. It’s reasonable believe that a 7-8 year old child who experiences something like that would grow up looking for a way to ensure it can never happen to them again, all while festering feelings of jealously toward a sibling who was shown (inadvertent) partiality on top of anger/betrayal because they didn’t understand why mom didn’t love them enough to come help. Kids can’t process trauma like adults, and this kind of shit mentally fucks children up in the real world for a lifetime. Traumatized minds don’t just ‘bounce back’ from something like that when given new evidence on a traumatic event — brains function like computer processors, but they aren’t just fixable like them. I’m sure if one was to actually look, they might actually see a fairly poignant message in all this.

People who are too arrogant often turn out not to be as smart as they think they are. If you’re excessively confident in yourself, you’re not going to listen to other people. (Note: Good job! this is ironic as fuck but the one line I didn’t have to edit!)

The only time Vergil smiles (& it’s a small, but genuine one — a grimace is literally the opposite of a smile and involves a frown, clenched teeth, etc.) is when he’s fighting Dante. This is because it is something he finally knows again — something that’s not part of a ~20 year long personal-made hell inside a suit of Angelo armor. There’s no real heat or tension in their DMC5 fights, and it’s comforting thing for both of them. Judging them for working out their shit this way is moronic because a.) they’re half-devil and don’t follow human social norms and b.) it’s a work of fiction anyway, you fucking numpty.

We don’t know if Vergil has remorse for the events he’s involved in because Vergil would not outwardly show remorse for raising the Temen-ni-gru or Temen-ni-gru 2: Horticulture Edition — that would be out-of-character for him. Any fan of the series should know this. However, if V is anything to go by (and he should be, because, y’know.. 👀), then yes, Vergil likely is remorseful.

The Abusive Parents trope is played with between Vergil and Nero, both with the loss of Nero’s arm and Vergil’s involuntary 20+ year absence because of his ownstubbornness and destructive decisions. Vergil did not know he even has a son and is emotionally constipated anyway, and Nero’s a hair-trigger hothead that wears his heart on his sleeve more than he is (probably even) aware of. Nero’s probably gonna be way too similar to teenaged Dante for Vergil’s tastes, and they’re gonna clash a lot, which creates drama intended to be entertaining for the audience.

Nothing says “I have fully missed the point” and “holy shit what went wrong in my life?” quite like someone arguing the same poorly researched 5-7 takes they have been arguing for like 6 months now on multiple social media sites. 

I saw this one Youtube commenter a little while back and I almost spit out my drink... I knew some people that didn’t like DMC5 were obsessively angry to the point of being totally fucking mental about people liking the game, but arguing in YouTube comments? Holy fucking shit that is another level of feral (and not the fun kind). I’d describe this person as a “cuck” or “bootlicker” but then I realize I’m not like 12 and don’t say the n-word on Xbox live, and that those insults don’t make sense anyway.

And this confusing shit, making me wonder what fucking game this person was playing?: 

If one is going to use a quote to end something, like, say, a legitimate character critique that is not steeped in the bias of their opinion, it makes the most sense to use a quote from something/someone like an objectively important literary work or author. Since Vergil is a Literary Boi™ and there may be “sci-fi / horror fangirls” reading this, I’ll throw a bone out to ‘em (since we’re at the end of this dog walk) and use a quote from Guy de Maupassant’s Le Hora et autres novelles fantastiques:    

“A sick thought can devour the body's flesh more than fever or consumption.”

For the unfamiliar: Guy de Maupassant (1850-1893) is often considered the father of the modern short story, and used pessimistic and disillusioned terms to depict the lives and destinies and interactions of the people and society as a whole in his stories. His short stories Le Hora and Diary of a Madman inspired the 1963 Vincent Price horror movie of the same name as the latter. Maupassant’s later life was heavily characterized by self-isolation and paranoia, and he penned his own epitaph before he attempted to slit his own throat with a letter opener and died in an asylum at age 42:

“J’ai tout convoité, et je n’ai joui de rien.”

I will let whoever reads this translate, and think, on that. 

—

(And no, no sources cited section because I’ve never been a particularly religious bitch.)

*It’s an idiom, don’t even try to spin that shit as anti-Semitic you absolute fucking loon.

[cabinofimagines]

Troubles

Percy x Reader (college au)

Fluff | Smut | Angst

A/n: So I finally finished this piece of shit. I don’t really like where it went but it’s cool I guess. This is in response to 3 whole requests we got ages ago. Also guys please remember requests aren’t open yet. It’s on our nav page; what’s open and what’s not I mean. -Day

_ _ _

i.

Staring up at the towering buildings of the main hall only intimidated you more than you already were. You gulped as you watched packs of friends roam about the campus, chattering about who they were rooming with during the overnight orientation, “Jamie said she’s rooming with a guy named Matthew-- I guess they don’t care who stays in the same room?”

“No shit, Kyla, we’re in college now. They don’t give a shit what we do in our spare time.”

You stifle a laugh at the passing conversation, knowing better  than to assume that the school doesn’t care what you do. You grimance once more at the mass of people, but pull yourself together and step into the main hall.

The inside was a lot more intimidating than the outside of the building. People of all ages huddled around in groups, overbearing parents hovered over their grown kids, various people already huddling together in packs, and younger youth were already being recruited into sororities and frats. You stuck to the walls and made your way to a long, but ever-moving line of new students who were being randomly matched with others in a room.

Your mind wandered at the thought of rooming with a stranger, even if it was just for a night it wasn’t something you were particularly fond of doing. You had to do it at some point if you were to live on campus in a dorm, but even then you would be matched based on personality and living habits. The line was getting increasingly shorter and your heart was pounding harder the more you thought about the outcome of this experience, would you meet your best friend and decide to choose one another as actual roommates? Or would you have the worst experience of your life tonight?

“Name?”

A overly cheerful voice broke through your melancholy thoughts, you crack a quick smile at the older female, “Y/n L/n.” You watch as she shifts through a few papers with scribbles of various names until she makes a hum of achievement, marking your name out with a black sharpie and handing you a brass key.

“Here’s your key, don’t lose it or the fee is $150!” She shooed you on and greeted the next person as soon as you shifted to the side. You sighed and shoved the key into your front pocket, the space being so small you were sure that it wouldn’t fly out randomly.

Before you head to your room you decided that you should save the trip and collect your things from your car before going to find your room. You packed as lightly as you could, but still managed to bring a suitcase with you, full of clothes and bedsheets for the night since it was a required thing. Although as you trudged up the stairs because the elevator was broken, you were regretting being so prepared.

You hauled ass all the way to the fifth floor, losing a lung or two on the way up. Finally arriving on the fifth floor landing you took a breather, leaning against the railing and catching your breath. You hear a small chuckle beside you, passing by you from the hellaciously steep stairs you had climbed moments ago.

You managed to pick your head up long enough to see a mop of black hair bob past you and into the hall of the dormitory. You shake your head; damn athletes. You gather your bearings and forge onward down the hall to which the mop of hair went. You strolled past the doors, some open as chatter filled the hall, and others were shut and silent as the dead. Your eyes scanned the numbers, anxiously looking for three digits. 539.

The door was open and there was a deep voice mixed with a few others emanating from the room. Your heart stopped, how many roommates did you have? You step inside cautiously, rolling your luggage into the room and setting it by the door. The room was spacious and separated by another door that led to your roommate’s room. There was a baren bed, a large desk, and a large window on the wall adjacent from the door.

The voices went quiet suddenly, having heard your footsteps and the wheels of your suitcase they must’ve realised someone else had arrived. You see a mess of curly brown locks appear from the doorway that separated the rooms, “Oh shit, it is.” He said suddenly, disappearing back into the room to talk further about your sudden appearance. You raise your brows at his words, crossing your arms over your chest and taking a strong stance.

Before you could make a move to ask the boy why he said what he said, another voice sounded out, “Great job, Leonidas, gotta fuck up my experience too, huh?” You hear a smack echo through the room followed by a whine of pain. You see the boy stumble out of the room, grumbling an apology to you before he left.

The owner of the other voice you presumed, walked through the doorway only seconds after the curly one left. You sucked in a breath at the sight that blessed your eyes, his messy black hair fell over his sea green eyes, flying out of his line of sight moments later. He stood tall and lean in gray jogging pants and a white t-shirt, basketball shoes untied like he had just slipped them on. What deemed you speechless was his smile, a goofy yet charming lopsided smile that graced and enhanced his features.

“You’re the person on the stairs, aren’t you?” He said with a chuckle, smoothing his hair back from his face, but failing as it returned into it’s messy state.

“I’m sorry?” You ask, cocking your head to the side in confusion.

He laughed and leaned back against the doorway slightly, “The person that was by the staircase catching their breath.”

You merely nod, too flustered to answer him verbally. The fact that his first impression was that you were out of shape absolutely sucked, even if it was true.

“I’m Percy, “ He said with a wink, “Probably the best roommate you’ll ever have.”

You cock a brow at his words, crossing your arms challengingly, “What makes you say that?”

He smirked and stepped closer, shoving his hands in his pockets, “Because I’m going to make sure you have the time of your life.”

ii.

By the time sophomore year came around, the two of you were close to inseparable. One could almost never be seen without the other unless it was during classes you didn’t have together.

Although how exactly you got to the local pizza place in town discussing Criminal Minds and Law & Order you weren’t exactly sure. Somewhere between his constant whining about how hungry he was and his consistent begging, you found yourself stuffing your face with pizza while you listened to him gush about the many crime shows he watches.

“But then,” He paused, taking a big bite of his slice, “Reid just like,” another bite, “figured it out because he has photographic memory-- which is like so fucking cool-- and solved the case.”

You nod along, interested in the story and the babbling boy in front of you, going on what should be his seventh tangent about each of the cases in the many episodes he’d watched. It was cute that he was so invested into these shows and even invited you to watch a few episodes with him tonight to which you gladly obliged.

You grin as he finishes off his pizza, blindly looking for another slice but finding none, “Did you eat all the pizza?” he quirked an eyebrow in your direction, a hint of a smile playing at his lips. He didn’t give you time to answer as he stood from his seat, offering a hand to you, “I didn’t want any anyways.” He said with a chuckle and a teasing glint in his sea green eyes.

You huff at his remark, standing up with the help of his hand, “You can put away some food, that’s for sure.” you grumbled under your breath.

He flicked your forehead suddenly, “I don’t waste food.”

You laughed lightly, rubbing the sore spot as you spoke, “It’s getting dark, we should get back and actually attend some of tonight’s activities.” You spun around to leave with him in tow, but managed to run straight into an older woman who looked far from kind.

She gasped as if she were doused in hot coffee from your run in, holding her hand to her chest and staring at you in disbelief. You fumbled to apologize, but naturally they made the incident a lot worse than it actually was. They spoke loudly for the rest of the pizza place to hear, “You teenagers think you can just push an elder out of the way?! Unbelievable, this new generation is so disrespectful!”

You bit your lip in thought of what to say. You wanted to argue back and clear things up, but that would only further her idea of generational disrespect. Not once did her purple coated lips stop moving, spouting more and more unrelated nonsense about such a simple situation.

“Ma’am, you’re the one who walked into the exit door rather than the entry door. This wouldn’t have happened had you simply read the sign on the door.”

You shifted your eyes to an annoyed Percy who gave the lady before him a dead gaze, something that would’ve intimidated you had you not known how friendly the male actually was.

The lady opened her mouth again, but Percy interrupted her, “They said sorry, what more do you want? You’re the only one being rude here.”

She left without another word, shimmying away with a few grumbles. You gave the ebony haired boy an impressed look, “Well, well, “ You teased, “You could've scared me off with that look.” He snorted at this, “What look?,” his face broke out in a lopsided smile as he held the door open for you.

You mimicked him the best you could which elicited a chuckle from Percy, “I don’t look like that.” You scoffed and bumped his shoulder with your own, “You’ve got a case of the resting bitch face. Or is that your courtroom face?”

You laughed loudly, making your way back down the street to campus with him. The sun was already setting, the orange and red hues highlighting the towering buildings and bathing the world around you in various shades. Your breath hitched lightly, heart picking up pace unexpectedly. He looked breathtaking to you, his messy hair was brushed away from his face and exposed his forehead, his tall nose scrunched up slightly as the cool wind blew, and his lips were turning an angry red from his constant biting. He looked like a god-- way too good to be true.

He met your stare with his own, pausing his steps and gently tugging you back to him by the arm. He raised a brow at your words, taking a moment to think over what to see, “It’s not, but should it be?” He genuinely seemed interested, “Or was I too scary or whatever?”

You shrugged and managed to tear your eyes away from his being, looking off at the passing cars, “No you just looked so serious, I didn’t know you for a split second.” You look back and flash him a small smile, but avoided prolonged eye contact in fear that your heart would hammer against your chest harder than it already was.

He let out a small giggle at this, catching you off guard. You could gain whiplash from the duality this man has. He hooked arms with you, forcing you to start walking with him and his ridiculously long strides, “Cool, Dr. Leener said that I needed a more serious look when prosecuting.”

You look up at him at this, “How else would you look in a situation like that?”

He used his free arm to reach up and scratch the back of his neck shyly, “Uh I was joking about the case a little too much.”

You pause at his confession, cracking up slightly, “Dude I’m honestly not even surprised.”

Iii.

Dust fell from the ceiling as you carefully swung your legs over the brick wall, landing on the cement flooring of the abandoned building. You threw a glance over your shoulder and laughed when you saw Percy’s long legs struggle to get a grip on the wall you just came over. You sat back, enjoying the view of his suffering a little too much.

Once he finally made it over after five grueling minutes of his lanky legs trying to get over the wall, he landed next to you with a sigh, glaring at you with a slight unknown pout. He dusted off his navy hoodie and black jeans, “I’m so glad I have such a loving and kind-hearted best friend.”

You beamed at him, batting your eyelashes at him in jest, “And I’m so glad you recognize it!”

You pat yourself off, trying to rid yourself of all the dirt that covered your sweats and your ‘junior squad’ t-shirt. You felt hands on your back suddenly, causing you to jump and turn around too quickly, elbowing Percy in the rib accidently.

He whined and held a hand to his chest, slumping against your figure dramatically, “I’ve been stabbed!” He gasped, “there’s been another victim!”

You shove him onto his feet, “Shut up you idiot!” You hiss, eyes scanning the barely visible room surrounding you, “Let’s just hurry up and satisfy your sadistic interests before we get caught.” You shuffled away from the tall boy, squinting your eyes to adjust to the lack of light in the room.

“Use your flashlight, dumbass. You aren’t a cat.”

The bright blue light of Percy’s phone flashlight blinded you, him shining it right in your face to make a point. You swatted at his hand, causing him to drop his phone. The heavy device clattered across the cement, the flashlight facing towards the ground. He squeaked at this, carefully stepping around the space as he muttered curses towards you.

You shiver, a sudden gust of wind reminding you that winter was just around the bend and the fact that you also had not grabbed a jacket before your little adventure outside. You’d much rather be in your room, binge-watching all of your favourite shows instead of the dreaded math homework that is due tomorrow morning at eight a.m.

An audible crack echoed throughout the area followed by a dramatic gasp. Your eyes flicked towards the noise stepping carefully over until you came in contact with Percy’s side, “...fuck” he whispered to himself.

Just then another source of light shone over the two of you, momentarily blinding you for the second time that night. One arm latched around Percy’s, using him as a shield as the other hand came up to block the light out. You could feel Percy tense under your touch, his posture straightening a little as if he was trying to appear larger than the possible threat approaching.

“What are you kids doing here? This is a crime scene, off limits to the public until further notice,” The booming voice instructed, “That includes you, Percy Jackson.”

Percy seemed to chill out at the call of his name, a lopsided smirk forming on his lips, “Lieutenant Brunner! You shouldn’t be out here, this is,” He cocks his head to the side, “ a crime scene after all.”

Your jaw dropped. Lieutenant Brunner was infamous for the many cases he’s solved locally and nationally, but you had thought he was out of commision due to the injury that left him paralyzed from the waist down. Yet here he was, obviously still solving cases despite his disability. It was actually inspiring to see someone still do what they love despite all that has happened to them in the past.

The man sighs at this, his wheelchair squeaking lightly as it pressed on toward the two of you, “Percy,” he scolds, “this isn’t the greatest place for dates, I thought you had class? Or did you forget that too after you stopped volunteering?”

The younger male’s smirk faltered slightly at this, but he quickly recovered, “Cut me some slack, it’s hard being a college student, I just wanted to blow off some steam with my favorite.” He enunciated that he was talking about you by placing a hand on top of your head.

You didn’t know what to make of this situation, but you thought it best to stay quiet seeing as they knew each other well. You were embarrassed to say the least, Lieutenant Brunner was a local at the cafe you worked at and he was always very nice to you and your co-workers, you really hoped he didn’t recognize you here of all places.

Lieutenant Brunner sighed deeply, beginning to turn away from the pair as if he hadn’t even seen you, “You both should head back to campus, I won’t tell the others I saw you here. I’ll just say I was simply investigating a suspicious noise, nothing more.”

You nudged the tall boy’s side, signalling him that this was the plan you should go with. However he didn’t seem to take that into account, “But I wanted to investigate too.” You roll your eyes and nudge him a little harder this time,pleading with him, “Can we please just go?”

Percy went silent for what felt like forever, but then he moved down suddenly, picking up his phone and revealing the cracked screen. He groaned and interlaced his fingers with yours suddenly. Your heart skipped a beat as he tugged you along, walking towards the exit this time instead of scaling that godforsaken wall. He simply saluted the wheelchair bound man, “Love you, Lieutenant Brunner!”

You hissed, tugging him along and muttering swears and curses at the ebony haired boy by your side. Once you were in the clear you removed your hand from his and stopped following him, your heart still pounding at the sudden form of affection. He slowed to a stop and looked back with a lopsided smile, “At least it wasn’t the authorities!”

You gave him an incredulous look, “It was Lieutenant Brunner. Did you forget who solved nearly every case you’ve been studying in your classes?” You bring a hand up to your forehead, still not fully believing what just happened. You got caught at an active crime scene by a notorious investigator and were just let off the hook without repercussions. What the fuck.

You locked eyes with him, walking forward and poking him with an accusatory finger, “And he knew you? Care to tell me how?”

He licked his lips and caught your finger with his hand, intertwining your fingers once more as he explained himself, “I used to volunteer at the police station when I was still in high school-- well it was more like an internship, but Brunner was my mentor sort of.”

He chuckled at your gobsmacked expression. He flicked your bottom lip playfully, causing you to close your mouth and threaten to hit him with your free hand. He laughed and nodded in the direction of his car, “Come on, I bet we can still catch some of the Law & Order SVU marathon if we hurry.”

“I still can’t believe you know the THE Lieutenant Brunner.”

iv.

The warmth from the sunlight illuminating your rather spacious dorm was enough to put you back to sleep. Lately you haven’t been able to get much sleep due to the many different responsibilities you had as your education progressed. But to just lie here in Percy’s embrace as he tried his very best to do as you said and go over his key points for his mock trial, everything seemed to fade out.

Senior year has been hellacious for the both of you seeing as both of your studies required a lot of work from you. You’ve passed most of your classes and only needed to repeat a few due to not passing with the required grade level your major allowed. Percy has become the top of his class however, surpassing even his upper classmates in some of the hardest classes. He was really smart and has just the amount of charisma to sway the jury in his favour, but you didn’t know how he made it this far with his hatred for studying.

He let out another groan, “This is so dumb!” He pouted and covered his face with the stack of papers in his hand, his other arm wrapped around your shoulders and shaking you slightly for emphasis. You rolled your eyes at his antics, he’s such a drama queen it’s ridiculous.

You lean away from him slightly, reaching for the papers hiding his face and freeing them from his grasp. You look over them quickly, focusing on the key points of the case and highlighting them with a blue highlighter from his stash of writing utensils. You elbow his side, eliciting a grunt from the overdramatic male, “Exactly how many murders can the suspect be linked to?”

He blinked, once then twice, giving you an unsure look he answered, “28..?” You purse your lips at his answer, “It’s exactly 24. There were 28 victims in total.” He sighed deeply, hiding his face in your shoulder and whining out that he was sort of right. You chuckled and shook your head at his actions, patting the back of his head and running your hands through his soft locks.

You decided to ask him something easier, something along the lines of vital information. You clear your throat and peer down at the papers in your hand, scanning for something a little easier for him to remember. With a sigh you ask yet another question, “What is the time span of the murders and reported sexual assault?”

He’s quiet for a short moment before answering confidently, “The suspect started off with sexual assault on teenage boys in 1970 but then started killing his victims at the end of 1970.” You were surprised at his detailed answer, but he left out a few important facts. You began to correct him when he surprised you once more, “The murders didn’t stop until mid 1973 when he was caught dousing 14 bodies in gasoline in a rented boat by the owner.”

You smile unknowingly at this. He truly was one of the best in his class and deserved every bit of recognition he got. You wondered what he could do if he fully applied himself and studied more, but the male was still hella smart and talented, it’d probably intimidate his peers if he used all of his talent at once.

“Perfect response”

His head lifted suddenly, hitting you in the jaw and causing you to jump away from him a little. He yelped and adjusted himself so he could properly assess your injury, cupping your face and sputtering apologies as he examined.

Your breathing became uneven at his touch, holding your face so close to his own. The hit didn’t really hurt as much as it had shocked you, jolting you from your thoughts with a nice accompanying knock to the jaw. You snickered at his reaction, finding it cute and funny how much he worried over his accident.

He cracked a smile once he heard your stifled laughter, “Hey, I was just making sure you were okay.” He defended, “But was I really spot on?!”

You nodded, eyes crinkling as you laughed at him, “Yes it was perfect” you managed to get out.

He merely chuckled at this, still cupping your face with one hand as the other held him steady in his position. But then his face dropped into a more serious one, watching you laugh as his heart gradually picked up pace. A million thoughts were running through his mind, but only one was clear to him.

He really wanted to kiss you right now.

The thought excited him. He was excited because he finally understood why his heart constantly did backflips when you smiled at him or why it broke when you were stood up by your dates. Even if he didn’t like the thought of you with someone else, he couldn’t pinpoint his feelings as anything more than overprotectiveness. But now he knows… and he’s more scared than ever.

Scared because he could potentially ruin a great friendship and lose the best roommate he’s ever had. Scared because there was the slightest chance that you didn’t return the feelings and only viewed him in a platonic light. And scared because he’s never felt this strongly about anyone before.

You take notice of the lack of laughter and turn your attention towards the ebony haired boy wearing a variation of his famed “courtroom” face. You pause when you notice his eyes hovering over your lips and his face getting closer with each second. You wanted so badly to close the distance, but you were afraid you were somehow misreading the situation. It was pretty obvious he wanted to do something similar to what you wanted, but there was this small part of you that stayed in denial.

When you could feel his hot breath against your lips, that’s when you knew that your assumptions were right. The faint brush of his lips caused goosebumps to rush down your spine, but it was gone just as quickly as it came.

Percy stumbled back, muttering something incoherent to himself as he stood to look for his shoes. You sat in the same position, appalled and slightly hurt by his actions as it seemed he wanted to be anywhere but near you in that moment.

“I forgot I made plans with Jason and Frank later, I can’t ditch them again or they’ll never let me live it down,” He rambled as he slipped on his shoes and snagged his keys of the side table. You sat in silence as he rushed to leave your comfortable dorm, unable to form coherent thoughts, let alone words.

The door flew open and out went a panicked Percy, mumbling a farewell before the door clicked closed.

v.

It had been more than a week since your almost kiss with Percy and ever since then he’d been avoiding you like the plague. Even when he did interact with you he would keep it short and tense, a shy barrier rising between you for the first time in forever. You would try to bring it down by asking him the usual questions, asking him if he wanted to binge any of his favourite crime shows, but he would brush you off and claim he was too busy.

It had bothered you greatly, to the point where you were forgetting small things like when your massive chemistry research paper was due. Stressed was an understatement of how you felt at the moment. The paper was due in two days and you hadn’t written a single sentence down on your word document, the blank page staring you down and reminding you of your problems.

Percy wasn’t much better off.

The past few days have been an argument between his mind and heart… and also Frank and Jason. He had been avoiding you ever since he realized how much he actually cared for you, more than a normal friend should. Staying over at Frank and Jason’s dorm became a regular thing, only swinging by his own dorm when you were passed out on your desk to gather his things.

It hurt him to see you like this. A bad yet old habit of yours was overworking yourself because you either procrastinated until the last minute or you were determined to finish before anyone else. It took time to get you out of this habit and damn it didn’t take any time for you to slip back into it.

Frank sighed for what seemed to be the 20th time in ten minutes. He gave a disappointed look to Percy who had asked to stay yet another night at their dorm room, “You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

Percy shrugged, “I mean it’s fine, the couch isn’t that uncomfortable y’know--”

Jason rolled his eyes, interrupting with a groan, “He meant you can’t keep avoiding Y/n, Percy!” The blond was a little more than fed up with the longing stares the dark haired male was throwing your way anytime you were around. It’s time that Percy grow a pair and confess how he really feels about you, regardless of how you may or may not feel, he needed to get this off his chest.

Percy was quiet, fiddling with the hem of his gray Ramones t-shirt. He knew Jason was right, but it was terrifying to even think about losing you, and if he confessed he was for sure that he’d lose quite possibly the love of his life.

Frank massaged his temples in thought, “I promise you won’t regret telling them, you won’t lose them or anything like that.” He paused, his next words holding impact, “But you might if you continue on like this.”

Percy nodded, his heart lurching at the true words that slipped past Frank’s lips. He checked the time on his phone, the lock screen photo of you and him covered in paint, smiling at the camera caused a small smile to spread over his tan face. He dropped his things at the door, eliciting a combined groan from each of the roommates. He spun on his heel and walked out, completely taking the others by surprise as he booked it down the stairs.

“He could’ve taken the elevator.”

“Let him be dramatic, Frank.”

It was around 1:30 am when you were startled awake by the sound of keys in the lock. You had fallen asleep in the living room once again, your laptop light illuminating the room in a low white haze. You nearly screamed once you realized that you had still yet to finish the report for Biology class tomorrow morning, but settled for a dramatic face palm.

The door clicked open, but you didn’t bother on checking who it was because you knew it was your roommate coming back for something he forgot. You leaned back against the couch staying still and hoping he’d leave you alone unlike other nights where he’d move you to your bed. It was a sweet gesture, but the first couple of times it really freaked you out.

Although this time he didn’t walk straight to his room like usual, instead he opted to sit next to you on the couch. He whispered your name, moving to see your face a bit better.

You squeezed your eyes shut, honestly just wanting nothing more than for him to leave you alone right now. If he even attempted to move you to your bed, you just might throw hands at his tall ass. You tensed as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to his chest and swinging your legs over his lap.

You probably shouldn’t have, but you freaked out suddenly, “Nuh-uh you are not putting me to bed, I have work to do.” You grumble, glaring and pushing yourself away the best you could. He blinked, “I wasn’t going to,” He began, “I just wanted to hold you again.”

Your eyes widen slightly, “Well it’s about time you acted like a best friend.”

Percy lets out a silent laugh, his gaze cast downward, “I know I’m an ass.”

You hummed, crossing your arms over your chest. You wanted an apology and you were going to get one. You glance at him, from the corner of your eye, “Good for you.”

He pauses, running a hand through his messy waves and leaning against the armrest, “Y/n, I’m really sorry. Seriously.” He watches with sad eyes as you turn away from him, rightfully upset with him. HIs shoulders slump. He really shouldn’t have acted this way, he should’ve just taken the leap and admitted his feelings.

WIthout a reply, he parts his lips to plead once more, “Y/n I--” You yawned, shaking it off and keeping up your role. Percy cocked his head to the side, noticing how tired you look and how red your eyes have gotten from the lack of sleep. Instead of using his words, he substituted it for a chance to cuddle you close.

It was late. So late that even the group of freshmen that played around outside have decided to call it a night. Plus you were super tired and you haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep in a while. So when strong arms wrapped around you and pulled you into an equally comfy lap, you were more than halfway asleep. You twisted your body to mold against Percy’s, “This isn’t over, Perce.” Slurred words leaving your lips as you melted into his embrace.

He chuckled, busying himself with tracing the outline of your features, “Whatever you say, babe.” He shimmed into a more comfortable position before dozing off himself, the sweet dreams uncomparable to the moment at hand.

vii.

It was bright, a little too bright for your eyes after just waking up. “Damn”, you thought to yourself, “I forgot to close the curtains again.” You rub your eyes sleepily and stretch slowly with a yawn, building up the will to get up and close the curtains for a few more minutes of shut eye.

You push yourself up, but find yourself locked in a strong grasp, a groan filling the air as you tugged against the grip. You froze, slowly craning your head to see just who was holding you this saturday morning.

Dark lashes fluttered against puffy cheeks, brows knitted together as incoherent mumblings left his pouty lips. It was Percy, his hair messier than usual. You smile lightly, lying down to face him and take in all of his features. With your faces merely inches apart you were able to fully take in the beauty that is Percy Jackson.

It never occoured to you how handsome he really was. I mean, many have pointed it out and even used you to get closer to the handsome law major, but it never really hit you. So as you lay there with a fluttering heart, you got to see every detail of the man that had stolen your heart without a second thought. There was a tiny cut on his cheek from the many fights he’d gotten in back in his highschool days, a small scar above his left brow from falling off his skateboard at the age of 14, and a tiny mole just under his lower lip.

A small laugh escapes you, leaning in to brush your nose against his own. The action proved to be too much when his eyes began to open. Sleepy sea green eyes met your own accompanied by a grin, “morning” he rasps out.

The corner of your lips lifts in a smirk, a hum coming from you as you snuggle closer to his chest. HIs chest rumbles with his light laugh, “I see your attitude is gone.” You bring a hand up, pinching his nipple and causing him to yelp and push you away, “Ow! Okay okay it’s just dormant i guess…”

You chuckle and worm your way back into his grasp, “I’ve missed you.” His heart skips, bringing a hand up to your face and steer it in his direction. He leans down, stopping half way to ask, “Is it cool if I… kiss you?”

It was a simple question, one that took your breath away at that. You hesitated, your brain trying and failing to come up with a response. So you did what you could.

You tug his shirt, smashing his lips to yours in a sweet and delicate kiss. His eyes grew wide, not expecting such a response, but decided to roll with it and kiss the person that had him completely whipped for the past two and a half years.

He pulled away with a giggle, “Damn that was worth the wait.”

“Wait what?”

.

.

.

.

[youcouldmakealife]

Ask: re enforcers

hey taylor! this got too long for the askbox

i was rereading a bit of luke and i had the thought that just by merit of when the older stories were written and how they've aged- you've created an AU where true goon enforcers are still active even in the present day? which is a delightful can of worms! roman mentions that he was drafted to be an enforcer but that the role had essentially been phased out by his rookie year and definitely by 2023/2024, which suggests that the verse is 6-8 years "behind" our hockey and now i am consumed with the hockey logistics of the verse. like is it the same kind of skills game? is there the same insistence on "toughness" in verse? has the league gotten its shit together re: hits to the head? did it take longer for the johnny hockeys of the verse to make a debut? obvs i'm not expecting an answer to all of these but taylor........this verse has Layers

It really is a fascinating break from the current NHL, and a sign of how much things have changed since I started writing Luke (and Mike, who had just preceded it).

 (This got long as hell so it’s under a cut.)

Let’s break down the decline of fighting in the NHL, per hockeyfights.

Last season, the league fight leaders were tied at 6 fighting majors apiece. Boston, team leader, had 26 of the 226 fights. 

Now let’s head back to the 12-13 season, which had just wrapped up when I started writing Mike. The league fight leader fought 14 times, the team leader (Leafs) were responsible for 44 fights, which was part of the league’s 692. This was a season when you still had the Colton Orrs, the George Parros..es, the Mike Brouwer and Luke Morris equivalents. 

Fighting was already on the decline then. (I just randomly went to the 09-10 season, and the team leader -- Ducks -- had 78 fights. 01-02? Panthers had 117. This isn’t a pure decline -- 94-95′s leader only had 54, so there was a massive increase in fighting up to the peak years, but that is UNRELATED, I just find it interesting), but there were still pure enforcers in the league. 

Current NHL? You’ve got guys who’ll fight, you’ve got guys who are known to cheapshot, but they also offer something valuable to your team outside of that, either from an offensive or defensive (or both!) standpoint. Gone is the goon. And that’s not the case in YCMAL ‘verse, because Mike and Luke were written during the decline of the goon, written to be playing during the decline of the goon, but I was writing in a timeline past the current one, so we’ve got enforcers in the 18-19 league.  (Nikita, while a frequent fighter, provides more than that to his team, ditto Derek and obvs Captain Jake)

Mike’s kind of the last pure enforcer (Luke retools his game a bit later in his career), and as Roman mentioned -- on the decline during his rookie year? Well that rookie year Mike knocked his teeth out. So Roman, born in ‘96, was still picked up as a goon, when I’d say our last pure ones were born in the late 80s. 6-8 years sounds almost exactly right. (to anyone blinking as to why Roman’s rookie year was Liam’s third, when he’s a year older -- Roman did college and the A first, and also Liam’s a lot...better at hockey than Roman. I’d apologise to Roman but he isn’t in denial about his role.)

So to get to your questions, kinda (sorry, I fall into research wormholes and tangents. So. Many. Parantheses. in this.).  YCMAL ‘verse 2019: We’ve got a department of better player safety (not perfect, but better), that does actually consistently call headshots (not IIHF level...god I want IIHF level calls), but there are some little fiddly differences in calls due to the still present level of fighting (I’d say it’s comparative to that 12-13 season, maybe 13-14). Less instigation and retaliation calls, more ‘settle it on the ice’ shit, but that, again, is dying off, and I’d say by that 23-24 season, it’s pretty much died out entirely. Roman’s role then is as a pretty dirty power forward. We’ve still got plenty of those.

Skills game is there, and you’ve got your Marc Lapointes, your David Chapmans, skilled, undersized guys (Julius Halla, who’s weedy in comparison to Marc and David, is v much a Johnny Hockey player, but he’s not the first or close -- I wouldn’t say it was later those players got picked up, just that it was fewer and the tide did change later), but there’s definitely a level of fighting, even among the skilled players, that you won’t find in the actual NHL.

[thedouglastrap]

So I binged my way through Meat and Candy tonight. I’m gonna have to go through a reread because...yeah, it’s pretty dang dense. I am SURE i missed things. But I feel like I got a general feel for where both were going on the whole. And you know what? (Spoilers ahead.)

I fucking loved it. 

At least, if I can figure out where to start. I guess i’ll start with where I was coming into this: I am not holding my breath too hard for it, but I’m also not 100% sold that this ride is over. Even with just the prologue of the epilogue it feels less like this epilogue is a true ending and, not unlike the Intermissions and Sub-Acts, more like it’s Hussie further playing with the structures used to define the parts of a story. I mean, that we got a prologue to an epilogue feels like that’s not out of the realm of possibility, never mind that V was implying how long it was.

And man, it was long. 43/41 chapters? Roughly 700 pages? Hot damn. It probably didn’t help that I started with Meat, got to Dirk manipulating Rose into joining him, and then stopped to read candy because Dirk basically said that’s what Rose was looking at. Except that I’m super glad that I did that? Like, I know V said that reading one or the other first would make for a different story, but I feel like I got the best of both worlds there? Like, I knew about Dirk’s metatextual fuckery going into Candy, but didn’t know where it would end. So when Alt!Callie shows up talking about the prince, how he had no influence in that universe, i knew where she was going with it, I knew how it tied in. 

I guess that made me lose out a bit on Candy, knowing that the war and john’s interpersonal relationships and everything with DaveJadeKat was ultimately a side tangent, but...I feel like that was kinda warned against up from the prologue anyway? And even with that in mind, I still got invested. I was so happy when John and Roxy got together, Dirk’s suicide took on a whole new level of ominous, and when I started feeling more and more like the characters were a bit off, it made sense. I see people saying “Saying it’s intentionally bad doesn’t excuse bad writing, just write something good!”, but...I don’t think it was BAD per se. It was unsettling, sure. It was offputting, definitely. But from an in-universe perspective, we’re getting things on fast forward. Over those chapters we went what, 10-20 years beyond the 5 year timeskip we started with? Like, everyone starts at 23, when for the most part we haven’t had any meaningful interaction with them since they were 16. That’s a huge difference. The only real exception to that, I’d say, is Jane in the snaps, where she’s a corporate headpiece that’s clearly dealing with some issues with the trolls. Hmm, I wonder where that leads? 

And then everyone else gets the mix of six years of growth in a strange new world, unresolved mental/emotional issues of all shapes and sizes, AND the increasing distance from canonicity that Rose warned of throwing things off, it’s no wonder people are a bit off, even if certain core elements remain the same. Roxy is the one who’s the most off, but I’d think they’re probably the one of the people most strained by the events of Candy, between the distance with Callie sneaking up on her, Dirk’s suicide, John’s bullshit, and everything else happening around her. Esp her bit at the end about her own growth and reality and stuff. And Jane’s a fascist, but honestly? It was a slow descent that kinda tracked imo. She always had anger issues, she’s prone to ignoring the advice of her friends, iirc she didn’t really seem to have any issue with crockercorp despite its being shady even pre-mind control, and the snaps showed that she’s dealing with intra-species tensions. Was she a junior-fascist in HS? No, but did she have to be? Growth isn’t always positive, m’dudes. 

Realistically, my biggest issues with Candy were Gamzee and Vriska. Not their scene together (which was...uncomfortable but managable), but more their just kinda...being there? But the more I think about it (and their scene together), the more that fits as well. It’s Candy, it’s all about character-building fluff that doesn’t necessarily tie in directly to plot stuff.

On to Meat. Oh man, Meat. While Homestuck proper did plenty of things that should be innocuous but ended up being more, I was still floored by just how OMINOUS it was when the narration turned orange. Like, holy crap man. But I’m getting ahead of myself. The loop of everyone entering the juju, coming out, and depositing John alone in the furthest ring ties up that loose end pretty neatly. I was kinda confused at first with it flipping back to the political shenanigans at first. Like, they’re high stakes, but against the context of dealing with LE it seemed off. THEN we hit the dirk reveal and suddenly things go into overdrive. The back and forth between Callie and Dirk was great, and esp with the end of Candy in mind, the manipulations of Dirk just felt...chilling. And that’s the other side of “out of character stuff”. Where Candy was their fading canonicity, Meat is Dirk’s manipulating them into not being who they are. Again, they’re out of character due to outside interference, in this case Dirk trying to make them do what he thinks is best for them. Which was freaky and fucked up and offputting and how could that not be intentional? And then the Johnrezi snuck up on me and oh damn my heart. And Dave’s “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD” moment? Nice. 

The real kicker tho is the ending. Like, that cliffhanger...I think that’s my biggest issue with Meat. It’s not character stuff, or plot stuff, or Jade being left comatose and less relevant again (the last one being the only thing that actually bothered me of those). It’s that the ending is DEMANDING followup and there’s no assurance that we’re going to get it. If we don’t actually get anything to follow up, to show where that goes, I am going to be so disappointed. Candy ended...mostly conclusively. The war isn’t over, there’s still conflict, but john’s on his way up, he and Roxy are def on the mend even if they don’t get back together, and it just kinda works. But Meat’s end...there’s no closure, just the call to action. And it’s not like, the end of Animorphs where the cliffhanger is adding a brief moment of action that’s unrelated to what preceeded. It’s a cliffhanger after (for me at least) 190k words of progress. 

Also, Holo-Obama (Holobama?) was amazing, that blend of silly and just ominous enough that i can’t help but feel that it implies dirk was working on this plan for a lot longer than expected. And come on, how could Obama be anything but a Hope player?

Edit: got the actual word/pagecount from V’s twitter

[incorrect-vrains-quotes]

What if the Ignis developed a Mother Complex towards Kusanagi (Shoichi)?Could be a virus or a glitch or just some plain misunderstanding of their own “self-perception/self-development” - Or it could be a concussion - Whatever (Everyone’s reactions?)

the first time I read this ask, my brain shut down after the very first line and it took me legit 2 hours to ready myself for the rest of it and despite the rather wild opening, the rest of it was quite tame. 

So my thought process is, quite long and roundabout so bear with me. So first, let’s lay the groundwork which immediately connects to the topic at hand. I posit that Kusanagi Shoichi is just a magnet for the found family trope. Something about him intrinsically attracts wayward teens who are looking for, like, a big brother figure or something. Not even Aoi would be immune to his brotherly pheromones. Thus, with this benign strength, it could be possible that Kusanagi has the potential to exert it over the Ignises.

In fact, I’ll argue that he already has. After all, the design parallels between him and Bohman and between Jin and Haru have been hot topic for quite some time. It makes sense: Jin created Lightning and Lightning in turn designed the 9000 Brothers. And based on what we’ve been given, Shoichi and Jin clearly had a great brother-brother relationship prior to the Incident which brings me to my next point. 

I believe that Jin feels betrayed that Shoichi was unable to save him from the Incident. Miyu had Aoi and Yusaku had Ryoken but Jin didn’t feel like he had Shoichi. Thus, this fed into how Lightning was created as an Ignis. After all, Lightning clearly took inspiration from the Kusanagi Brothers when he created Bohman and Haru; not to mention, we see this in his sort of intrinsic character values. 

If my belief is true, then if Jin felt betrayed by Shoichi being unable to save him, then that soured the make-up that Lightning was given, as compared to say Aqua or Ai in the previous cases of Miyu and Yusaku respectively. Thus, Lightning became who he is today: self-reliant and unable to truly form positive bonds with others because that’s what Jin taught him in his familial grief. 

On an unrelated tangent, but based on dialogue that Shoichi gave in the last episode, it seems possible that he was tasked with babysitting or playing with Jin on the day he was kidnapped and some sort of negligence, on his behalf, caused Jin to be stolen away. I feel that including this will help contextualise the previous paragraph further to truly embed the message Jin gave Lightning through the Incident.

Now, to reconnect it to the possibility of the Ignises being susceptible to Kusanagi Shoichi’s found family magnetism. So, if Jin taught Lightning family values based on the hurt he felt over Shoichi being unable to save him, or look after him, then its highly likely that Lightning has some sort of coding strand, in his genome possibly, which makes him the most likely out of the Ignises to feel some sort of ‘positive warmth’ towards Kusanagi Shoichi. After all, I think Jin did cling to the positive memories he had of his brother that he formed prior to the Incident, but they were twisted by the hurt that he felt due to the Incident or the immediate lead-up to the Incident when he was kidnapped.

Ideally, this would mean that, if Lightning was to be redeemed or defanged, that could mean a stable Kusanagi Brothers-Light Ignis household which is what I personally want. After all, Lightning could be given the opportunity to explore how he perceives the family structure from within it and that could give us good Lightning-HalMan Brothers development which could be excellent.

Which does not directly lead to the next point which is, if Lightning - the indisputable and cold leader - of the Ignises, has the potential to pack bond with Kusanagi Shoichi and his familial pheromones, what of the other Ignises?

Well, it does get a touch tricky. After all, whilst Shoichi has the canonically acknowledged (thank you Takeru for pointing out the bond between Shoichi and Yusaku as being like family or even possibly something stronger) ability to attract and soothe wayward teens hankering for familial connection they are otherwise starved for, he didn’t know the LI Kids (with exception of Jin, of course) prior to the Incident. Furthermore, based on what we’ve seen, Jin was the only LI Kid who had a sibling; Takeru and Miyu both seem to be only children, Yusaku doesn’t even remember his family at all, Spectre has no fondness for the other orphanage children (or anyone at all), and we can only speculate about Windy’s Kid but at the moment, a safe bet would be to assign him as an only child as well. Therefore, the resulting Fire, Water, Dark, Earth, and Wind Ignises likely aren’t inclined toward the sibling structure like Lightning was, as we’ve seen again through Bohman and Haru’s relationship. So, let’s analyse the present.

Shoichi has interacted with Ai and Flame the most. He hasn’t met Aqua in person yet, but he probably feels affable towards her but for the sake of this part of my response, we’ll focus on Ai and Flame (and even then, mostly the former). But, for convenience’s sake, we’ll talk about the latter first as it will be more concise. Flame and Shoichi have had little on-screen time together. Of it, it was amicable. Mostly, Shoichi would interact with Takeru and Takeru seems to genuinely like and look up to Shoichi. No doubt feeling the effects of Shoichi’s big brother magnetism. So, through that, Flame has a positive relationship with Shoichi, but not necessarily one which has roots in some sort of familial complex. Especially since Takeru’s familal troubles seem to be disagreeing with his grandparents and mourning the loss of his parents after their sudden demise. Contrast directly with Ai.

Ai and Shoichi are best buds. I feel that they jibed and got along super well in Season One, before Yusaku was able to open his heart to Ai abit more. Before that, Ai and Shoichi had great banter (the binary days and Yusaku can’t talk to girls jokes spring to mind first) and I think that makes perfect sense. Yusaku, who’s memories presumably rapidly decomposed on him during the Incident, was likely hoping that there was someone nice and jovial looking out for him, to contrast his shyer personality. Someone like Shoichi, perhaps, to contrast The Voice who had helped inspired him and turned him unto his Three Reasons Why. So, it is possible that Ai, similar to Lightning, has something with his code which predisposes him to connect in overly familiar ways with people and is therefore, susceptible to Kusanagi’s powerful big brother energy.

With the remaining Ignises - Aqua, Earth, and Windy - things get a bit more tricky. But, we’ll start with Aqua as she is the most straightforward of our remaining three. It is no secret that Aqua is the mother hen of the Ignises and admittedly, I enjoy characterising Kusanagi as being a professional herder of cats when it comes to Yusaku’s group because I find it charming and endearing, though not necessarily rooted in canon. Unlike with Aqua and her very mothering tendencies (I still think we were robbed of a brilliant red herring if Spectre had been Aqua’s Origin but I digress). Now, Aqua and Shoichi - as far as I recall - have not had voice lines together; they haven’t interacted, even over the line. Unsurprising given that Aoi is more closely entwined with Akira and Ema and their group and Aoi is still unaware of Playmaker & Soulburner’s true identities and of the Hot Dog Truck HQ. So, this next part is pure conjecture but Aqua would absolutely be susceptible to Kusanagi Shoichi’s found family magnetism and she would probably adore how he looks after the boys. 

To substantiate this claim, Aqua was partially modelled on Miyu’s perception of Aoi. And, whilst the girls didn’t talk about Akira on-screen and whilst Miyu didn’t meet Akira on-screen, it does seem plausible that Miyu is aware of Akira’s existence and how he factors into Aoi. So, similar to how Jin would have imprinted memories and ideas of Shoichi onto Lightning, Miyu could have done something similar to Aqua, teaching her of familial structures unlike her own. Especially since Miyu seems to come from a one-child family.

Now, moving on from Aqua, let’s go to Earth. Earth is quite unique in that he had the Origin who actively enjoyed the Experiment and actively reviles his life prior to it. He is also, as far as we know, the only Ignis whose Origin’s family did not love him and the only family Spectre did love was his protective mother tree. Now, the relationship between Earth and Spectre is bizarre to say the least given the fact that they are on opposite sides of the Human-Ignis warfare, never met, and yet Spectre mourned his passing regardless. So, it is difficult to identify what sort of ideas or memories that Spectre may have shared or taught Earth, especially since, unlike say Miyu and Aqua or Takeru and Flame, their relationship isn’t quite one to one or near it. So, this is speculation but, Earth probably would have the inclination towards familial relationships and probably has one of the stronger inclinations towards it because Spectre clearly craves that kind of connection.

It is no secret that if any Vrains character was going to have a mother complex, it would be Spectre (with, in my opinion, Dojun Kengo/Blood Shepherd in a rather distant second position). Spectre craves mother’s love very strongly and his only regret during the Incident was the fact that he couldn’t share all the fun he was having with his dear mother tree. This imprinted quite strongly on Earth, as evidenced by his duels with Playmaker and Onizuka wherein he uses a tree as his platform to duel. So, this strong bond for connections would absolutely cause Earth to adore Kusanagi Shoichi.

Now, to conclude the examination round with Windy. With Windy’s Origin’s status still hidden from us, save for his appearance and even then… there is speculation, it is impossible to make grounded claims. So, i’m not even going to bother save for reiterating it seems to be a safe bet to say that Windy’s Kid is an only child. So that’s that, even if its a cop out but what do we do with this information? 

Well, to long didn’t read, this was the perfect - if a little bizarre - case study to examine the Origin-Ignis relationships through and to long didn’t read, all the Ignises have some sort of proclivity towards enjoying familal pack bonding and Kusanagi Shoichi is just too powerful a big brother, but I couldn’t entwine the “mother complex” thing because I don’t perceive as being like ducklings who see anything go “yep, that’s my mum” because Shoichi has brother energy. Uncle energy if you stretch it. But thank you for reading!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 022: Needs More Corporate Sponsorships

Previously on BnHA: A dozen pro heroes showed up at USJ. Kurogiri and Tomura were forced to blow the coop. Back at their secret villain hideout, they had a chat with their secret villain boss over Skype. We met All Might’s unnervingly cheerful detective friend. All Might talked about how great class 1-A is (spoilers: really great). Aizawa announced the upcoming sports festival.

Today on BnHA: The heroes discuss Tomura and his fellow villains and keep me guessing. We learn more about the sports fest. Ochako gets fucking possessed by the Spirit of Gambatte and it’s something to behold. All Might has lunch with Deku and tells him he needs to get out there at the sports fest and be like “HEY WORLD, WHAT’S FUCKING UPPPP.”

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 37 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.) 

OCHAKO PROFILE! :D :D :DDD

FUCKING YES, FINALLY MORE INFORMATION ABOUT HER QUIRK

THIS SERIOUSLY IS MY FAVORITE QUIRK, I LOVE IT

apparently she’s gotta touch something with all five fingertips on one hand in order to float it

she can float anything under three tons! interesting! so she can’t go floating aircraft carriers around or anything, but she could float a couple of cars if the situation ever called for it. she’ll puke but she could do it!

still no word on a time limit, so I’m just going to assume the thing floats until she releases it, and she herself probably doesn’t know what the limit is because she’s never reached it yet

(ETA: having now watched her fight against Bakugou, it appears to be more of a stamina limit thing than a time limit thing. all of my questions have thus officially been answered!)

her hair’s not bizarre! I take offense

she’s so cute

she sure does wear those tights, all right. you rock those tights Ochako

on to the chapter!

ahh! so they were able to at least find Tomura through the Quirk Registry!

(ETA: I read this completely wrong lol. they were not able to find anyone under that name.)

he can disintegrate anything he touches, but we already knew that. I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THE HANDS

it occurs to me that the hands might not actually be his, they might belong to the Main Villain and that’s why Tomura appears to be talking to them sometimes. maybe that’s why they’re not mentioned in the registry. they also seem entirely unrelated to the disintegration quirk

and Kurogiri apparently is still a mystery. or at least he’s not a man in his twenties or thirties. maybe expand your search then. forty-year old villains exist too, surely. or else who will Iida fight

heehee the Sheriff is using his old timey cowboy slang again

I’m a simple person. I see the word “varmints”, I click the like button

All Might doesn’t seem convinced that Tomura was actually their leader

hmmmmmm

the more I think about it the more I’m convinced that the real Main Villain was involved with those hands somehow and was feeding some of Tomura’s dialogue to him to boot

All Might has really good instincts to have picked up on all this from the relatively brief interaction he had with him

yeah I think he’s correctly pegged Tomura as a Belphegor-type

apparently they offer quirk counseling in elementary school! I love hearing these little details that help expand the canon like that

they apprehended 72 fucking villains. I actually thought there were even more, given how many people seemed to be attacking each of the kids’ groups despite them being split into so many groups. anyhow, that’s still a lot of villains. but then, it was a league

now they’re discussing why all of these redshirt villains would follow a guy like Tomura

so clearly Tomura is just a puppet and the real guy who was pulling the strings is still out there, we get it. actually, we already knew that. I wish these guys would arrive at that conclusion already, or if they’re not going to, maybe change the subject unless there’s some other point they’re trying to make here

do not fucking start redeeming this person you guys. don’t start!! go ahead and do whatever you want but don’t expect me to just be on board like that! :/

(ETA: okay, one big thing that seemed to get lost in Viz’s translation, though. when I watched this scene in the anime, it seemed like they were using the word kodomo to describe Tomura, though I could have misheard it. anyway, for whatever reason, Viz translated this as “man-child”; I guess maybe to emphasize Tomura’s immaturity. however, to the best of my knowledge, kodomo actually translates directly to “child.” like, literally a kid.

so here’s the thing... it seems to me that what they’re hinting at here is that Tomura may in fact actually be a teenager himself, possibly not much older than the kids in class 1-A. he wasn’t in the registry, and they speculated that he might not have received quirk counseling, implying that maybe he wasn’t in the school system. anyway, this makes a huge difference to me as far as whether or not I think he’s redeemable, and if it’s true, then I will reverse my stance on that entirely. if he’s still just a kid himself, and is being manipulated/groomed by this mysterious Skype Villain character, that goes a long way towards him getting a pass for being a complete shithead. I mean, he is most definitely not stable from what we’ve seen, so. gotta say I’m pretty curious to see where this goes now. and also if this is true, fuck you Viz for making this so needlessly unclear.)

back to class 1-A!

apparently they’re going to have extra security during the sports fest, but they plan to move forward with it despite the recent attack

I’m torn on whether something else is going to happen, or if it’s just going to be them causing all the chaos on their own, because they’re more than capable of that even without help from villains lol

(ETA: so far it seems to be the latter and I’m loving it)

“our sports festival is the greatest opportunity you’ll get”... for what?

oh wow apparently this thing is a big deal and they all already know all about it

well if you’d all be so kind as to clue me in then

wow so it’s basically the Olympics

a high school sports festival is on the same level as the Olympics???

there’s not even any element of competition between different schools lol. it’s just U.A.

apparently lots of pro heroes use the event to scout for future sidekicks. kind of like how colleges and professional teams scout players at some high school sporting events

well that does sound like a fairly big deal, but surely it’s not as important for these first-years as it is for the older students

not that that’ll stop any of these kids from setting their sights on the big leagues right away, I’m sure

(ETA: okay so now that I know a little bit more about the sports festival, for some reason the question I haven’t been able to shake from my mind is: why are there no corporate sponsorships?

like, if this really is supposed to be BnHA’s equivalent of the Olympics, brands like Nike and Apple and Coca-Cola and various other car and beer and telecom and apparel companies should all be trying to snatch up as many of these kids as possible to push their brands. I mean, they even have an entire Business Course over at U.A., so what are those guys even studying then if stuff like this isn’t a thing.

I do realize of course that these kids are only 15, but their age really shouldn’t be a factor, given that plenty of Olympic-level athletes become well-known and are getting sponsorships and such well before they turn 18. it could also be that the brands concentrate more on the second- and third-years who’ve established themselves in past sports fests, but even if that were true, you’d think that the kids of 1-A would be a special case after the USJ incident thrust them into the spotlight. they practically became celebrities overnight. you’d think at least one or two of them -- Todoroki and Bakugou especially, since they were both already known to a degree -- would have gotten a few last minute calls with some lucrative and tempting offers.

the only other explanation I can come up with is that they’re forbidden from doing this sort of thing. which seems unrealistic since the school would undoubtedly be saying no to a LOT of money, but I guess they’re not hurting for it and don’t need it. (they sure do throw enough of it away on entrance exams.) or I suppose it’s also possible that this actually is going to be a thing, and I just haven’t seen any of it yet due to the aforementioned “they’re only first years” bit. I just think it would potentially be interesting, even just as a background thing.

anyway, I really went off on a tangent, but it’s just something that keeps nagging at me. like it’s a key element that’s missing in order for this to feel more realistic to me. you know, because Jump mangas about superpowers are always so realistic!! but this one actually is for the most part, so it feels all the more out of place.

okay I’ll shut up now.)

now it’s lunchtime!

lol it’s the cement guy. just chilling in the hallway

Cementoss...? pretty sure that was it

I don’t want to go look up his name because I found out the other day that their full names tend to be listed on the wikis, and if they haven’t been revealed in the manga yet then I don’t want to know dammit

the Internet is a treacherous place with dangers lurking around every corner

anyways. all the kids are abuzz with excitement

Iida looks like he’s forgotten how to breathe

I wonder if there’s any chance we might get like, a U.A. dance party at some point. I just want to see Iida try and dance. I think it would be really great

wow Ochako has shadow eyes, that’s a first I think

wow she is fired up

oh my god Ochako. you do know how fucking badly I want you to wreck some bitches, right. you know that? I put it on my wishlist and everything

please, more of this

YASSSSSS. SLAYYYYY

the trio is now walking downstairs on their way to lunch, presumably

LMAO WHAT

OCHAKO WANTS TO BE A HERO FOR THE CASH MONEY

EVERY TIME I LEARN SOMETHING NEW ABOUT HER IT GETS BETTER AND BETTER

now she’s embarrassed because compared with Iida, her motivations are less noble

but Iida flaps his arms around and tells her there’s nothing wrong with wanting to rake in that dough

boy but I sure do ship these two little oddballs

??? wow, she says her family runs a construction company, but that they’re somehow poor. here I would’ve thought they’d be in constant demand, what with villains constantly running amok and destroying shit. maybe there’s too much competition? or maybe heroes with construction-related quirks are putting them out of business somehow?

omg baby Ochako

her slightly oversized sweatshirt that says “SUPER” is making me wibbly eyes

I need to pick up this sweet little cinnamon roll right this instant and give her lots of hugs and cuddles

oh my god and just like that her goal of “making money” is the noblest fucking thing on earth goddamn

they’re fucking speechless

-- ALL MIGHT SUDDENLY APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WASTING YOUR ONE MEASLY HOUR A DAY AND YOU’RE NOT EVEN TEACHING A CLASS

OMG

IT’S GOT BUNNIES ON IT

GO DEKU, BE HIS FRIEND

down in the cafeteria, Iida and Ocha are speculating on what All Might could possibly want with Deku

“perhaps he’s taken a liking to him” y’all have noooo idea

what is this sudden shot of Todoroki

somehow I feel like he’s gonna be the first one to actually put it all together. he’s been listening and observing all this time, and he’s pretty sharp. he knows they have similar abilities; he saw firsthand how Deku behaved around All Might and how he dove in to save him; and I don’t know, but he’s just a pretty smart cookie and I wouldn’t put it past him

(ETA: he was so close. “illegitimate child” is close enough to get full marks IMO. also I’m now positive that Kacchan has figured it out, but I’ll save that speculation for another day.)

oh jesus the time limit is worse than I thought now. only fifty minutes

Deku apologizes even though it had nothing to do with him, aww

and All Might already knows him so well by now that he cuts him off before he can finish

he wants to talk to Deku about the sports festival!

oh yeah that’s right. we don’t want him dying yet again

Deku mentions that he was able to use the power once against Noumu with no side effects. so All Might asks him what he did differently

hmmm

hm. interesting. here I was thinking that it was only coincidental and it might’ve just been because of Noumu’s shock-absorption abilities. but I guess that wouldn’t have completely negated the impact. so I guess Deku would know better than me here

“sounds like you managed to pump the brakes without even knowing it” are you telling me he was worried about overdoing it against the guy who was trying to disintegrate Tsuyu’s face?? why is his heart so pure dammit

still, he’d better figure out how to do this at will, and sooner rather than later

:(((((

“and among those with villainous intent... there are some who’ve started to realize that.” yeah we kind of figured that one out

still, it’s not like Deku’s just going to be able to instantly replace him. he’s only fifteen for crying out loud

All Might what did I just fucking say. FIFTEEN

but I guess that’s not too young to be an inspirational hero though

wow he’s so earnest... he totally won me over in like two seconds

wowwwwww I just got fucking fired up. the intensity lines for no damn reason. and even with All Might coughing up blood at the end there lol

but yeah I’m sold, okay Deku go be a star

BONUS:

HE LITERALLY ISN’T HUMAN????? I WAS WONDERING BECAUSE HE KEPT SAYING “YOU HUMANS”

YOU’RE TELLING ME FUCKING RATATOUILLE HERE SOMEHOW MANIFESTED A QUIRK AND BECAME SO INTELLIGENT AND SUCCESSFUL THAT HE’S THE PRINCIPAL OF THE WORLD’S PREEMINENT SUPERHERO ACADEMIC INSTITUTION

HE’S 85 CENTIMETERS TALL. THAT’S TWO FEET AND NINE INCHES

WONDER WHAT IT WAS LIKE FOR THIS GERBIL TO SUDDENLY BECOME SELF AWARE AND DECIDE TO GO TO COLLEGE OR WHATEVER

AND WE MAY KNOW HIS NAME NOW BUT TO ME HE’LL ALWAYS BE THE RAT PRINCIPAL

(ETA: LITERALLY I’VE FORGOTTEN HIS ACTUAL NAME AGAIN ANYWAY)

LOOK AT HIM SMOKING A TINY RAT CIGARETTE. THAT’S SO BAD FOR YOU MISTER PRINCIPAL GOODBYE I AM DONE GOODBYE

[kaibutsushidousha]

Can you please translate Kodaka's tweet about Kaedes birthday?

“Today is Kaede Akamatsu’s birthday?! I entrusted to her the protagonist role when I made the important third installment and gave her a very carefully thought out personal name. It’s not on the level of a prayer though”

Spoilers: gur “V ragehfgrq gb ure gur cebgntbavfg ebyr jura V znqr gur vzcbegnag guveq vafgnyyzrag” yvar pna nygreangviryl or vagercergrq nf “V ragehfgrq ure n ebyr rdhvinyrag gb gur guveq vafgnyyzrag'f cebgntbavfg”.

Unfortunately, I’m not sure what Kodaka meant exactly about the name even though I’m researching it for Kyra’s blog for months now. But here’s what I got so far (contains spoilers, but I’ll leave the chapter 6 ones encripted):

Kaede means “maple”. According to the Japanese flower language, the maple represents “precious memories”, “beautiful change” and “restraint”. The precious memories and beautiful change part might refer to how gur Xnrqr Nxnzngfh punenpgre jr xabj rkvfgf bayl nf n yhzc bs zrzbevrf perngrq ol gur Erzrzorevat Yvtug naq ubj gur gnyragyrff naq hagehfgvat Xnrqr Nxnzngfh jnf punatrq vagb gur nyy-ybivat cvnavfg ol fnvq cerpvbhf zrzbevrf. The restraint part probably has nothing to do with the character, as restraint is not something we can associate to the first killer. According to the western flower language  it represents “reserve”, which falls into the same comment as restraint.

Her demo introduction is “I don’t really have this red hot passion like a maple tree, but… I think that’s a great name for me.”.  I tried searching a bit about this line in particular but I couldn’t any concrete association between maple and enthusiasm. When I read it, I though Kaede was helping me write the Kyra post (I even mentioned it on the demo thread) but it was actually making my work harder. 

Kaede was also the name of a World War II warship I think it’s nice to point that out because Kaede was a Matsu-class destroyer and warships shoot cannonballs, which are treated as the same thing as shot put balls by the Japanese language.

EDIT: Forgot to mention this: https://harumaki-springroll.tumblr.com/post/157539081184/latin-english-caedes-caedis-female-murder. Thanks @photoshopronpa for finding this out.

Akamatsu means “red pine”. Another tree. Red is a color strongly associated with maples and pines are also trees associated with maples. According to the Japanese flower language, the pines represent “eternal youth”, “compassion” and “sympathy”. The compassion and sympathy part are very in line with her personality and motivations, but the immortality part feels like a cruel joke on Kodaka’s part. According to the western flower language, pines represent “pity” (which falls into same comment as sympathy and compassion) and “hope”. The latter is very meaningful as it represents her status as a DanganRonpa protagonist (naq zber vzcbegnagyl, n cebgntbavfg zhpu zber va yvar jvgu Fuvebtnar'f jnagf).

There’s also a ranking system in Japan called shouchikubai, which refers high ranking as “pine ranking”, middle ranking as “bamboo ranking” and low ranking as “plum ranking”. There are no bamboo or plum characters in V3 for comparison, but I like to think of this system as a way of say Akamatsu is the best.

Lastly, we have my favorite detail about the name and the reason why I immediately decided to write about her for Kyra as soon as she was announced. If we remove the tree radicals from the kanji in both of her tree names, we are left with 風 and 公. 風 is most known for meaning “wind”, but it also means “appearence, pretense”. Something that looks like something but it’s not. In other words, a liar. Fits how Akamatsu bravely fought her only Class Trial without ever being sincere. 公 means “official” and is most often remembered as a part of 主人公(shu.jin.kou; protagonist). 

Some people could argue that those two could be combined to hint Kaede is a “fake protagonist” but I really can’t believe this to be the case. In Kodaka’s completely chapter 1 spoilers-filled interview, he is still consistently refers to Kaede as a protagonist, so we can tell Kodaka still considers a true V3 protagonist even though it only lasts for a chapter (and so do I). I think this kanji combination idea could work as a “lying protagonist” or as a “protagonist who doesn’t take the shape you would expect”. On a completely unrelated tangent, combining this two words could also give you “hero of winds”, which is absolutely great because I love both Kaede and The Wind Waker a lot.