#while i acknowledge that i couldnt write due to being busy

[wield-the-mighty-pen]

To cope with my writer’s block, I've decided that I want to do some drabbles!

To make this fun for me, I decided to do 'playlist prompt' drabbles. So, if you'd like, please send me a lovesquare pairing and a number between 1 and 144 and hopefully I'll write a drabble based on the corresponding song in my playlist to that number

My inbox is open, so please feel free to send requests!

[bubbly-parker]

Did you know seahorses mate for life?

@mon-of-the-dead

requested: yes A/N: i did get a little carried away so this is a lot longer than i anticipated it to be it was suppoes to be like a VERY short getting back into writing blurb I also didnt check for any spelling errors or mistakes.......sorry

summary: Its a cold january night but you're excited either way cause its movie night with your husband Peter---------------------------------

The air was so cold that breathing hurt, everything hurt your legs, your arms , your back EVERYTHING. Walking home right after a snow storm hit New York was not your smartest move but you just couldnt wait to get home: not on a Friday you thought due to the weather situtation you would have waited almost 30 minutes for an uber so a 20 minutes walk it was. You picked up your steps and walked faster at least as fast as you could without slipping and sliding on the icey and snowey streets.

Christmas lights were still hanging around even in January, the snow hit again unexpectedly so the cities workers just never got around to taking them down. It was a nice quiet evening which was perfect perfect perfect

for the Dinner date x movie night you and your Husband had planned. The both of you are still deep into your honeymoon phase haven only gotten married a month ago. Peter and you moved in together 6 months ago and every friday you both make sure to be home 6Pm on the dot. you're very busy with your new corporate job and Peter is also very busy nowadays being back in shape and back on track.

You love how supportive he has been about everything in your life there are many days were you spent hours and hours pent up in your little home office right after you come back from the main office but Peter never bugs ;) you ever.

You know his last marriage didn't work out because they spent too little time with each other and you wanted Peter to feel secure about this one so you compromised

on friday no Manager no Partner Company and no Boss could keep you around longer than what you signed up for

friday is Peters Day.

Finally arriving at your apartment the first thing you can smell from right outside the door is BURNT. You unlock the door as quickly as possible :" PETER ! is the kitchen burning !? AGAIN" and youre greeted by Peter who was waving a dishtowel around trying to get the smoke to go out through the window - "Hi babe, no i swear its not- it looks worse than it is, its just ..we do need a new microwave" walking into the kitchen your beautiful microwave is well no longer beautiful.

overall the situtation seemed to be back under control but that doesnt stop you from grieving your amazing microwave with build in oven and defroster and so much more

"i was just trying to make some popcorn its microwaveable" Peter had closed the window considering most smoke is now gone "why would it blow up? its for the microwave" Peter took the now very burnt and blackend plastic bag out of the microwave holding it up as if he was inspectig it. You couldnt help but laugh at his stupidity -poor microwave

you went to Peters side wrapping one arm around him smiling up at him "Peter?" he looked down at you to acknowledge you speaking "youre supposed to take the plastic packaging off"

And this Ladies and gentlemen is why up until he met you he was safest living on takeaway and pizza and more takeaway

Fast forward and hour later the kitchen has been cleaned all residues from the smoke gone and the kitchen was back in business.

"first melt the butter then add 2 tea spoons of flour and whisk until well combined" Peter was reading a recipe off of his Phone "I can make a roux Pete i wanted to know which spices we need " somehow this answered your question weather he was listening or not

Peter went to get all the spices listed out of the cabinet while you continued adding cream and the rest of the ingredients to your Pasta sauce vaguely going by the recipe.

Pasta. The one thing that unites everyone. And every couple that can never decide what to eat.

"tell me when to stop" Peter started dumping all the spices in your sauce one by one stopping whenever you told him to. Hes like a child just happy to be involved. But hes not as useless. Cutting up all the veggies, dicing the onions, he has quite decent knive skills. Of couse you taught him.

Peter had his arms around you from behind resting his chin on your head just watching you stir the sauce. You always hated having people in your kitchen while cooking but now you hate it when hes not in your kitchen. Idiot.

You sent him of to choose a movie while you plated your pasta. You know the second you'll enter the living room you will still have to choose the movie for Mr. indecisive.

'Me before you' one of your favourite movies that Peter hasnt seen yet was playing while you two laid on the couch.

Pasta long finished Plates stacked on your little side tabel. You were on top of Peter eyes falling close as he played with your hair, you didnt need to see the movie to know what was happening.

You love how Peter knows how to quiet your mind down how to wrap his fingers around your hair to make you sleepy. how to draw patterns on your back to relax and how strong and sturdy he was you never needed to worry about just crashing all your weight down on him he was like the best mattress topper on the planet. So cozy you were about to fall asleep when

"Did you know that seahorses mate for life?" Peter and his very random questions at very random times came and they never failed to amaze you. Opening your eyes you lifted your head and looked at him " No i did not"

Peter smiled at you stroking your cheek with his thumb " i really like seahorses"

"i guess you're my seahorse then Mr. Parker"

[warningimmental]

You made your choice. It's not to be a mother so....... Congratulations you're free!!!. Your Wish came true.

Yes this is public so people can see.#TRUTH

***See below as im not repeating again and again.***

My side of life.

P.s

Yeah I'll be fine. I always am in the end.

( Heres what needs to be said and has been said so not to repeat myself. From in PMs )

Sad thing is she knows ill forgive her just like I forgave dad and EVERYONE and EVERYTHING else. I care so no one else has to. I'm the one who picked up the pieces of everything but was tormented daily. She wonders why I was the way I was it was due to parenting and fobbing me off to anyone who would take me.

Anne and Bob should of kept me. They couldn't have kids they could of had me though. (neighbours I adopted as grandparents no blood but love ) My father was a shit most of my life my mother was everyones mother bar mine. They kept me quite with gadgets and as long as I went to school fed and watered job done.

Favourite quote was "it's your fault" and dads was "your making me ill"

Christ for someone who knows everyone elses business she never saw what was happening to her own daughter.

29 years im done. Sick of being a leighton.

I said Stockholm syndrome I loved my captives just happened to be the people I called mum and dad....

I still love them both but what I was "known as normal" was not remotely normal.

Eg. I was appendicitis and born 8 months in mum had no clue and I was "hiding" behind her ribs. It's medically impossible.

Not to mention lived in New York every other year from age of 6 months till I was 13. Dad would take me over and over and over mum came ONCE for my 13th.

I have no memories of New York. It's kind of a huge thing and place to have been wiped out of a memory.

Now im clear-minded im having pseudoseizures because my subconscious doesn't want me to remember what happened.

What mother would let a new born or toddler a child that can't speak fly to the other side of the world to only be with men. My dad and my fucked up uncle who sends stuff to "favourite" niece

I've tried so hard to get better and it's not even my family who acknowledged it.

There's so much you don't know.

She used to have me go in the house before her in case dad had killed himself so id find him first from the ages of 7 onwards. When dad past I went behind the curtain first. So I kept the is see him first. On 29th April 2018

I was always on eggshells she would say people die of lack of breath so EVERY NIGHT id check on mum and dad every hour. She would hold her breath to screw with me. Then say im not dead go to bed.

The house was toxic. For once in my life im actually sane.

She is not who you think she is.

If I've lost my mind it's because my environment sucked. I'm finally out. Sober can think clear and don't harm because I don't have to deal with the toxicity that I dealt with ALL my life.

If I told you everything you wouldn't believe me. Which is fine know one does because but it's true.

Always ask why or what causes someone to go off the rails and self destruct. I never felt safe, I was always told I was a mistake and everything was my fault. As long as I kept the family secrets mum was happy.

Dad was toxic. Mum the same. She wants drama so I finally said enough.

When I say mum knows everything I mean she saw it all and NEVER had it stop or put me safe. I can finally talk now dad is gone. I could write every TRUTH down and write a book. People would wonder how the hell did this girl cope and live to tell. I lived because I care about everything and everyone else. But im done now.

I doubt you'd believe me if im honest. My inbox is full of people defending her and my dad. If only they knew. its been a long time coming but im finally speaking out.

I know people don't understand but I don't want to burden with it. If You like my mum and dad id rather I let you keep the illusion. I know it's out there now that's enough.

If you want to see my life keep reading otherwise STOP HERE.

I'm fine and im safe finally. I just needed more as a child than fear of what should of been my safe place a home.

I don't want us to be strangers to the people who read this and thin sarahs lost it.

I don't want to cause a riff, I just couldn't not say it finally. Mum says always go to counselling but I couldn't. I couldn't tell anyone the truth about dad or mum. Or the truth on why I had to have a very intrusive operation due to assault by 3 at Halloween party. Mum now knows that. Dad was arrested for hitting the wrong lad. Dad and mum would have gone down for murder if I spoke out.

On the other hand there was also my home life in general. I was made to stay quiet about having a revolving door of strangers. Huge boozy parties after a night out. Mum and me being treat like muck on a shoe.

A abusive uncle who would have me and my cusion be "kissing cusions" .Every night when I was 15 to 26 I drank took sleeping pills and hid away in my room self destructive harm anything so not to deal.

I look like wolferrines attacked me because of the arguments or threats. Mum couldnt leave the house quick enough. I gave up on a career to care for my dad but I was always looked down on.

****** golden girl. left was I was guilt tripped saying "your still dads girl you won't leave me" while dad would cry. Every night.

Mum swears I was an appendicitis 8 months in term. I'd be handed to anyone and everyone. Every year or every other from birth id end up in america. Mum would say her holidays where when me and dad would leave. From 6 months old id always go back and forth to New York. I couldnt talk yet "apparently" begged to go with dad.

Mum would say after blazing rows im leaving.

Then just walk out the door. I was left with a highly angry father and confused were mum had gone and if she would come back for me. I'd stay up all night waiting. I'd hide crying and scream in a pillow so not to be to loud so dad didn't shout.

I was told my face doesn't fit. My nick name was ferret face or panda. I would hurt my self so not to hurt others. I wanted and trained to be a counsellor so one to understand what I did wrong and two and most importantly to be there for the people who needed support.

I went to rehab to be identified when found so my parents wouldn't have to. If it wasn't for craig I doubt if be here.

Craig saved my life. Mum has always put others before me or ignored it so it didn't exist.

Important in here (ears) none important (over your head)

I was terrified everyday of my life. I loved and do love my parents it's just I can't stay quite any longer.

Money or game consoles chocolate sweets where hush money. Dad would buy crates of spirits and beer and supple my / his pills so I was always foggy minded.

I'm finally sober clean and harm free my mind is the most composed it ever been.

No one knows what goes on behind closed doors.

Mum is a star and has a heart of gold to others but from age 7 onwards everyone else came first.

I pride my self on protecting, comforting trying to be there and support everyone, hell even risked my life enough times to save some. because I never had it. No one to fight for me protect me.

I wanted parents love encouragement happy I archived or even tried. But it never came.

Even my graduation was ruined.

I wasn't allowed to get a job they made me be sick and have PTSD mum still to this day loves to make me jump. I have terrifying nightmares.

I'd hear conversations no child should hear because they either didn't notice I was there or care. When ***** killed him self when *** did when dad tried and I was left with a random man being told "your dads took to many sweets"

The same man who later tried it on with me sending dirty pictures or dads other "mates" who would try there luck. I gained a shit ton of weight 21 stone so NO guy would come near me because the strangers who would come to the house used to try and feel me up or perv if door was unlocked as I was a kid.

She saw everything but wouldn't believe it. Or me. I phone our ***** one night years ago because she said I could and she yelled at me because she had work. I was silently screaming for help.

It was only at dads funeral she saw and realised and was so genuinely sorry for not believing me the night I phoned.

I wish every single thing I've said and keep telling was a lie but it's not it's 25/26 years of fear.

I'm 29 now. For the first time in my life im not on eggshells. I have a safe home. I can lock the door and not fear.

I wish these were lies I swear!!!!! I do but there not.

Yet NO ONE will even consider it's the TRUTH.

[homestucky]

ok ok this is like not anything new but still since i havent been on here i havent fully ranted about this yet. big long rant incoming

re the epilogue (spoilers etc)

ok. i have onl y read meat. but fucking? dirk? dirk? ok? dirk??

no.

i am aware of what happens in candy. i know he dies.

i also know in the version i read, in meat, he becomes his ultimate self, all versions of dirk. as many people have said, this includes AR, this includes bro, this includes even to some degree, LE. its an interesting idea ill give you that. but its also.... shitty and not backed enough by well, anything?

so heres my personal rant about the shitty things in Meat.

when i first finished it i couldnt help but think. was the dirk narrative even necessary? on the one hand it was meant to be the MAIN PLOT and it defined the narration etc, but.... it honestly didnt seem to have any importance. i know it was likely  a set up to imply future stuff like making the next sburb or whatever but like

who CARES? why on earth would that be interesting or important? maybe im crazy but like, the ‘b plot’ which was mostly about character relationships and jobs in earth c, was compelling and enjoyable. the narrative with john ‘not important and not the main character anymore’ egbert had details and conclusions ACTUALLY RELATING TO HOMESTUCK, THE COMIC I LIKE AND WANTED TO READ AN EPILOGUE FOR. it was tragic and frankly very upsetting! im not saying i liked it!! but the tragedy felt compelling and significant. 

i appreciate that dirk as narrator IS BIASED so him saying that these narratives are less important is inherently like. not to be trusted but. just. i cant help but feel like you could have cut the whole ‘main dirk reality affecting’ narrative OUT 

and that seems to me maybe like... not good? if such a central part of your narrative has almost no bearing on homestuck or anything anyone cares about?

but im sure there are other people who found it compelling and necessary. thats fair. cant relate but you do you. there are other issues. 

me saying that the dirk narrative felt weirdly isolated and insignificant sounds pretty weird given that it put jade into a coma, manipulated kanayas mind, effectively killed rose and destroyed rosemary right? WELL that brings me on to the next thing. people have noted that meat barely passes the bechdel test. and hey, sometimes things like that can just be a coincidence or unlucky. but the repeated erasure of the female characters minds, motives, identities and autonomy was????  a little too consistent to dismiss. like ok terezi was still her dope self in a lot of ways. jane kinda did some stuff (under dirks direction, and only shitty stuff but . whatever). 

(sidebar: ofc it doesnt make sense to talk about calliope and roxy in the context of the female characters in Meat but either way they were very in the background. like cool an all, and i always love roxy. and i respect they were mostly just minding their own businesses??? which is fair)

 i just. urgh. homestuck has such a genuinely good track record of giving female characters genuine motivations and powerful abilities etc. the fact that almost ALL the female characters involved were working for or manipulated by DIRK. DIRK of all people. is like... is this even based off the real comic? idgi????

roses loss of autonomy.... rose is such an important character. and she goes along with everything dirk says because dirk is suddenly all OP and ‘theyre basically the same person anyway’ like i get that there was some magic bullshit going on or whatever but at the end of the day rose was still written as weak and passive. dirk as strong and skilled and decisive. i get the undertones.. hes a prince of heart. a destroyer of souls, and identities. he messed with kanayas identity , destroyed roses, repeatedly ignored roxys and calliopes, and god i wont even get started on jake yet. but that doesnt make it satisfying to read. or even really feasible.

so theres a possibility im missing something. but im confused about WHY dirk is allowed this power. in the narrative its waved off as a kind of ‘i guess because im like a prince of heart or whatever and im just super good at managing identities and being a strong boy’ like ok if theres some implication somewhere that that is MEANT to be a bogus explanation id be interested to know because it sounds pretty goddamn bogus. why would this happen to dirk? why? literally? one reason? one that makes sense? because there arent any i can think of. why, in the new universe, would dirk, a prince of heart, manifest into a narrative controlling supergod. and fucking WHEN has dirk showed any actual capabilities in this area before?? he KINDA sucked at it in the game. dirks an idiot! hes smart and capable in like, some ways but. its like

why is dirk so powerful suddenly -> its because hes become super ultimate dirk -> ... ok why -> uh because like. hes just so naturally inclined towards being a great manipulator yknow..... canonically.... uhhhh

it just. canon dirk to epilogue dirk is the most ridiculous leap character wise, skill wise, arc wise, personality wise, with minimal reasonable explanation. 

which brings me on to the next thing. so i roasted dirk and said he wasnt strong enough to be able to manipulate things this well. well, obviously through some other means dirk HAS been afforded this power. but what about his personality? its obviously gonna be warped with self importance and knowing how things ‘have to be’. but hes heartless, cruel and hateful. in some ways it seems like canon dirk levels of ruthlessness, especially when it shows that he is actually doing something dumb and petty like his treatment of jake. that shows that he STILL has emotional connection to people as dirk. he also seems to care about some people, like dave and roxy, and cracks jokes and wants to have ‘fun’. this makes the ways in which hes so warped and cruel seem even worse. maybe on the one hand im giving dirk too much credit, everyone knows he has the potential to be a real bastard. but i dont think that was the trajectory he was on when we last saw him. and if this is truly due to him just.. becoming other versions of himself too including LE and bro and stuff..like. i dont see how it could have gotten that bad without say, roxy or dave noticing. 

‘oh they didnt notice because hes just so good at hiding’ why on earth would i believe that!! dave especially this is kinda insulting for. dave is shown to have an almost supernatural ability to detect danger. partially this might be timeline stuff, knight stuff, but also notably im sure his upbringing is involved too. he was trained to be hypervigilant. who was he trained to be hypervigilant for? bro. bros manipulation and traps. near the end of the epilogue we show that dave IS capable of detecting the mindfuckery thats happening. how would that not set off 1 million alarm bells? theres literally apparently a twisted dirk-bro mutant INSIDE HIS HEAD telling him what to do. i just. know that scene was played for comedy and romance but at the very least thats gotta like???? mess with u if ur traumatised? and thats like , why i think dave should have had an inkling abt what was going on!! this is exactly the thing he hates and fears and was traumatised by! and it just going under his nose n him not even knowing , and still pretty recently being all buddy buddy with dirk seems just stupid and infeasible to me. maybe this is me being naive or kind of a stretch but i just feel like daves danger instincts would have been kicking up a whole assed ruckus that whole time. 

also kind of unrelated but i associate sunglasses with strider style toxic masculinity and hiding things so like. ok transitioning or changing gender presentation is one thing but roxy apparently permanently wearing sunglasses makes me NERVOUS

and ill probably wrap up this mighty rant soon but i wanna also say jake was done so fucking dirty. i know he was like, meant to be, because for some reason god dirk just hated him? like ok petty much. but. urgh jake is such an interesting character with a lot of potential and while i appreciate that him being manipulated by someone who may reasonably have a problem with him may make him do stupid and embarrassing stuff, all the narrative seems to have taken a backward step in how hes represented. jake isnt stupid, dirk clearly knew this in canon and he maybe was the only one even including jake. and there was some acknowledgement of this near the beginning of the epilogue. but then for some reason it goes back on itself. everyone still thinks jake is just completely stupid, including the embittered superdirk. so yeah i guess hes upset with jake or whatever but. its still dissatisfying to be like oh yeah jake isnt stupid he actually has a complex set of motivations and potential etc BUT over the X number of yrs on earth c no one else has realised this yet?? hmm. then his narrative is just gonna end up with him being a total joke and essentially becomes as stupid and incompetent as his worst critics say he is. feasible given the mind control ? yeah. enjoyable to read or having any kind of satisfying bearing on anything? nope!

so anyway. i feel like any criticism i have could be argued back with ‘but oh it has to be this way’ or ‘mind control!!’ or ‘not everything has to be nice and happy !!’ but like. dude. there are flaws. many of them. and seeing characters just get shat on is never gonna be good writing. 

[ladiesfashion25]

WHY Well guided Honing Units Work Efficiently

WHY Well guided Honing Units Work Efficiently

A blade that is certainly nicely suitable for myEdgePro.

The machine is what makes the humankind lack of ability to accurately grind steel on edges of your blade and create and advantage to suit beautifully inside the Apex on the blade subside. The miraculous within the Side Professional is just this, as there is absolutely a figuring out process, the development of muscle group memory space is actually a moot issue, the device causes you to ultimately duplicate picked facets once you improve on ends as well as in my working experience, it developed the kitchen knives I sharpened sharper than https://top10reviewer.com/turkey-fryer/deep-fryer/ any blade I needed experienced. We should think that the person within the Side Professional has implemented the information made available from the producer and is particularly moving forward in the superior amount inside the discovering process.

But it surely fails to stop below despite the fact that peopleAndhellip;We have been writing about man deal with as opposed to a instructed structure and in spite of the amazing benefit the unit presents, we mankind are excellent and adapting and finding out and muscle development memories.

So what on earth in regards to a 12 months afterwards or a couple of years after with lots of cutlery sharpened by both the tactics, freehand and instructed?

THE SHARPENERS Difficulty

Freehand honing can be an art form.

This is just what taken place to my opinion and in case occurred if you ask me, it could actually eventually any person: Do not get worried, I am going to give my personal opinion of is there a very best blade sharpenerfor you response slightly after.

As my honing home business begun to grow about 6 in years past, I recently came across personally out of the blue attracted back in honing by freehand. I used to be yet still do hone kitchen knives each and every day, varying from 5 various cutlery to 40 cutlery, and 40 was my significant (I couldnt do now days and then).

I noticed the fact that Benefit Expert had not been presenting me the exact same number of happiness that we was having my 100 % free passing. Previous to I bought the advantage Expert, I currently was really more comfortable with zero cost hands honing nonetheless had not been ready for the influx of kitchen knives I became experiencing and began to miss out on the Zen like emotion linked with totally free hands honing.

Its not simply the actual end result. This has been tremendous in my view, an arrangement circuit breaker the fact is, as a way for me to provide the sharpest kitchen knives I quite possibly could, I needed to appreciate whatever i was undertaking. We have acknowledged a number of timesin last articlesthat for me personally, there is always far more to honing kitchen knives compared to the body approach to pulling the advantage of a typical blade for a h2o gemstone.

I changed into freehand honing. With apprehension, I set aside the advantage Professional and began gathering significantly more Japanese Standard water Rocks along with what looked right then and there a never-ending way to obtain dreary kitchen knives, I dedicated my time for it to get to be the most effective freehand sharpener I was able to. At the same time reasoning, I only need to acquire them as sharpened when i can within the Benefit Guru.

Muscle Development Memories Produces Excellent Ultimate result

Bear in mind, we human beings are lovely awesome usually. I recently found that my body memories was presenting me with the opportunity establish sides that pressured me to evaluate with all the corners off the Advantage Guru. It got to me that this Side Guru received helped me a significantly better freehand sharpener, My self esteem degree has been enhanced together with kitchen knives to develop everyday, I became finding at ease with honing freehand on a regular basis, I used to be increasing. Which has been four a long time ago, how about at this time.

Absolutely yes, Now i consider that we are able to make cutlery as crisp and clean and actually sharper by honing freehand than we are able to only using the advantage Professional. This does not necessarily mean which we can eliminate our methods and merely keep on with freehand honing. Try to remember, this failed to occur through the night, it was included with a large number and a huge selection of honing classes and even, I usually realized that Advantage Professional was there Generally If I wanted it. Also, keep in mind, I am just captivated with blade honing, this is definitely all I do think about to make sure that probably has experienced a positive change on my small opportunity to improve kitchen knives.

BUT Exactly How Do You Create Body Remembrance?

We are able to develop body remembrance in an amazing scope.And together with other knowledge and our functions just like endurance, endurance, and most importantly: enthusiasm.we can easily acquire a unusual level of preciseness as we hone a blade. Normally you will have flaws, we have been not products but those people bit defects can the reality is construct corners that go beyond our objectives. As our practical experience thrives so that as we develop numerous kitchen knives, we modify and change the viewpoint and force a minuscule total obtain what can be extremely shocking effects.

I will genuinely point out that the sharpest cutlery we have experienced throughout my everyday living happen to be sharpened freehand. Kitchen knives above razor crisp and clean, sides brought to life by get better at sharpeners in China who have mastered any hindrance that keeps him from reaching in the vicinity of flawlessness in blade honing. I am just not writing about the beginner sharpener the following. I am just discussing someonewho does his/her research, make the days of train important.

Where exactly Can Do This Leave behind The Advantage Master?

This photography is of an blade that is definitely hard to develop freehand. The Advantage Seasoned professional developed this straightforward.

In doing my event it renders it ranking happily at my honing station all set to get results once i receive a blade that simply usually weep out for which the flexibility within the Side Expert gives. There are some kitchen knives that will be tricky to develop freehand. You will discover men and women who desire a reflect complete with their tracking or strategic cutlery. Even though one may accomplish this in either case, the accuracy and precision proposed by the unit is capable of doing designing looking glass coatings on bevels that will be very spectacular. Imagine If i would like to build a Help Perspective, I could just do this by milling at 15 diplomas one example is and improving that Help Slope nearly as much as I wish to. I Then can hone it at 20 levels a facet plus i experience an quite clear blade that could complete really well with a cooking area.

SO What is The Ideal Solution, FREEHAND OR Advised?

I do not feel I could say just what is a greater technique of honing cutlery, around not which has an resolution that addresses the many bases. Personally, I enjoy to hone freehand, the fact is 95Percent of my honing is completed that way. It possesses a more fun adventure, the belief that the kitchen knives are well-defined is usually as I had recurring oftentimes, is an item of the procedure only. The fact of honing contains a combination of particular advantages this really is fairly special which only originate from honing by freehand in my view. They can be as essential for me as developing very well-defined sides, without the presence of satisfaction that we knowledge honing every single blade manually, I suspect I might continuously improve kitchen knives by a professional. So personally, someone who hone each day and takes up in the rewards the skill of honing gives you,it will be definitely a freehand planet.But imagine if youdont improve cutlery daily?

After that the Advantage Master is definitely fantastic. Now, due to the fact a lot of people that develop kitchen knives hone their particular kitchen knives frequently and several close friends, the EdgePro is the ideal solution.You will definitely get sharper cutlery than you could have actually utilized and you should get sharper kitchen knives since your technique while using the procedure builds up. You will get the very same excitement while using being I really do from honing freehand.

WHY NOT Finding Each of those Honing Solutions?

Tha harsh truth, the advantage of this could be that the two strategies to honing harmonize with the other. I really believe an excellent sharpener needs some methods up her / his sleeve, all those techniques could are made up of skill level by using a advised gadget, with freehand honing and even which has a buckle sander for many serious restore work opportunities. Just now I needed a blade that could have been very difficult to hone freehanddue into the cutting blades description. While using Side Expert I managed to produce a superb advantage without the frustration after all, a whole lot sharper than new actually.

I do not imagine we ought to even think about just what is far better for honing kitchen knives.The Advantage Master or freehand honing, both of these are successful. It simply is determined by what strategy not just provides crisp and clean kitchen knives but will make you feel better about all by yourself if you find yourself completed. Usually there are some individuals who are thoroughly up against making use of any kind of Jig and so i obtain that. I did so not buy the Advantage Seasoned professional as I couldnt develop cutlery without one, I bought it simply because I am just passionate about blade honing and so i assumed this as being a high-quality supplement that sharpened cutlery very well, I have got under no circumstances regretted the acquisition.

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[viralhottopics]

After 5 Years Of Relying On Medication, I Can Finally Sleep

Its been a long time since Ive written anything. And while my intentions were to blog every fortnight, this post has been extremely tough to write. For once I found it quite difficult to articulate my feelings and experiences, because of the personal nature of what I’m about to tell you.

A few weeks ago, I found myself chatting to one of my new friends, who is also an amazing business coach and mentor. He asked me how things were going aside from business, how are you feeling, just in general?. I thought about it and said, did you know, this is the first time in five years that Ive been able to sleep without taking a pill?

Insomnia has been affecting my ability to sleep properly since late 2010. It was kicked off by a freak hockey ball to the head incident, which then transpired into mental health problems (thanks, brain). Around 1 in 3 people have or have had some degree of insomnia in their lives. For an unlucky few (like me) insomnia is/was chronic. If youre one of them and are reading this, know that its okay, there IS a way out.

Back in 2010 I got a wild smack to the forehead from a fast flying hockey ball, I was briefly knocked out and I opened my eyes not even realizing what had happened, but bizarrely, I was laughing! It wasnt until I felt the huge lump on my head that it suddenly hit me (hah, pun intended). Soon after this, I had developed intense trouble sleeping and experienced extreme headaches and photophobia.

In my traditional headstrong fashion I refused to go to the doctor, that was a bad decision. Months later things seemed to be getting worse in my head space. After seeing a bunch of specialists and getting an MRI and all that, it was concluded that I had Post Concussion Syndrome (a minor form of traumatic brain injury).

Because of this, my health took a drastic downward spiral. I was lethargic, had constant headaches, was depressed, irritated, and slightly delusional. The doctors prescribed me dozens of painkillers to cope. I was studying a BMA at the time, and working so I could afford to live out of home and life spun out of my control. The brain does crazy things when it experiences trauma, and for a long long time I was not myself.

I was enrolled in a national head injury study. They interviewed me about the events and my experiences, then they interviewed some of my friends and family. Every six months my reaction time and short-term memory were tested, as well as my mood and general quality of life. It took almost two years for me to get back to normal. I dont know why it was such a long time, perhaps some people are more susceptible to these kinds of things. A lot of people in my family battle with mental illnesses. But even when I was feeling better, I still had to rely on medication to sleep.

Luckily for me, my doctors had refused to give me traditional sleeping pills such as Zopiclone, because of their addictive qualities. That was fine by me, I never intended to be stuck taking pills before bed. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldnt survive without them. At first it was Amitriptyline, a drug in high doses used to treat depression, but I was on it for headaches and as a muscle relaxant.

Sometime after I finished my degree in late 2012, I changed doctors due to not having access to the medical center on campus. My new doctor tried to wean me off taking the medication, I was all in. But it just didnt work. I went back to him after slowly reducing my intake at his guidance and tried a few months without anything. In mid-2013 I had more responsibility with my job which added some stress, and without any pills before bed I was getting between 1 and 5 hours sleep a night. I got sick a lot, gained a lot of weight, my mood was unstable, and I was quickly becoming very unhappy.

So I went back to my doctor, I was attempting to tell him that I still havent been able to sleep but I sat there crying in his office because I was just so exhausted and frustrated. I just wanted sleep. He recommended putting me through a sleep study and to see a sleep therapist, but this wasnt subsidized and I wasnt financially able to pay for such expensive tests (startup wages, am I right?). So, I opted for the easier just for now option. We tried something new, Quetiapine, an antipsychotic drug which in high doses is used to treat people who are bipolar or schizophrenic. I didnt get a large dose, only small enough to help me sleep. But even then I woke up every morning with a drug hangover and it took me hours every day before I could feel completely awake.

I lived like this for a long time, always having to take a pill before bed. Sometimes that didnt even work. I vividly remember how I felt after a huge hike over NZs Tongariro Crossing and then the 2-hour drive home. I was so tired, so exhausted after that I could hardly eat. I was thinking surely, surely I am this tired I must be able to sleep. But then as soon as my head hit the pillow my mind became awake, overactive and as much as I tried, I couldnt settle it down. A few hours later I begrudgingly got up and gulped down that damn pill, desperate for the relief of sleep.

This is when I started researching sleeping techniques. Over the past year and a half I have tried everything; yoga, meditation, walks in the evening, less coffee, less sugar, evening protein, writing down to-do lists and thoughts in a journal beside my bed, sleep tea, calm tea, chamomile tea, peppermint tea, Chinese herbs, sleep drops, lavender under my pillow, hops under my pillow, sleep apps with meditation, hypnosis, screen dimmers, installing Flux on my computer, melatonin, no screens (mobile, TV, Computer) two hours before bed, non-fictional reading before bed, homeopathy just everything.

Sometimes it would help, Id feel sleepy, try to drift off, then all of a sudden my mind would wake, even though Id be so so physically tired. I didnt know it was possible to feel so exhausted and awake at the same time. So I would carry on using my little pills to sleep and feeling hungover in the morning. I hated it, I never truly felt awake in all that time. And if I ever went somewhere and forgot my pills Id always get restless nights with little or no sleep.

A lot of time went past, living like this. After deciding to leave Hamilton to travel, I ended up in Perth, Australia. By the time I got here my little box of magic sleeping pills from New Zealand had run out. I attempted fate once more and tried to cold turkey my way to sleep. It really wasnt working out for me. The smallest noise, a single thought, any slight disturbance would set me off and my mind would begin racing once more. No matter what I did, I just couldnt sleep. There is nothing worse or more hopeless than the feeling of wanting and needing sleep so badly but you just cant get there and you realize your own mind is the only barrier to falling asleep. I remember thinking, how hopeless am I that I cant even perform the simple human function of sleeping?.

The one good thing that came out of these few weeks was my deep inner search for a reason. I didnt feel like my head injury was the cause of not being able to sleep, it just seemed like some sort of instigator. Im not going to share the details, but what I realized was that I had become afraid of sleep, and everything else was just an excuse.

I ended up seeing a wonderful doctor here who prescribed me some medication to sleep again and referred me to a counselor who specialized in sleep therapy. I gladly took the medication and debated whether I was ready for a counselor. I wanted to overcome my insomnia on my own (I had only just started acknowledging that this is really what I had), but sometimes you cant do everything on your own, sometimes you need to accept that you need a bit of a helping hand. And this is what I did.

The first session with my counselor was amazing. She knew what had happened without me having to say much, she said it and I sat there and cried. I cried as years of pent up emotion and holding back just escaped from me and it was so relieving. Her theory was I had developed an unconscious fear of sleeping because I lose control over myself and have to give in to the environment around me. I didnt feel . Of course, I knew logically that I was safe, but there was a deep fear within me that I had never let go of, a blocked memory; trauma. It had nothing to do with my head injury, that was a catalyst, as well as some other events that happened between then and now.

And so started my road to recovery. I went to the counselor once a fortnight. We didnt just talk about sleeping, we talked about a lot and it was really nice. I finally found an app that helped ease me into the sleeping mind-frame, Pzizz. Every morning within half an hour of waking up I get at least an hour of exercise outside. If not, I try to sit in the sun for 20 minutes or be active in some other way. I dont drink coffee after 3pm and limit myself to two a day (on bad days). I dont have much processed sugar, I write to-do lists every day in my diary so I dont lie in bed and think about everything I have to remember to do tomorrow. My bedroom has become an area for sleep every time I watch something on my laptop in bed it affects the amount and quality of sleep I get, so Ive stopped doing that.

Routines are also very important I do the same thing before bed every night. I also try to stick to the same hours, but Im still learning to sleep so I havent been using an alarm, just trying to slowly get back into the right rhythm. Right now I usually fall asleep between 12am, wake up at about 6, then go back to sleep until 9 or 10. Its not the pattern I love, and I still have many days where some nights are better than others, but Im getting there, Im improving and Im not giving up.

My mood has become better, my skin clearer, Im no longer getting sick every few weeks and my focus levels are at an all-time high. I still have a lot of work to do, but for the first time in over four years I can sleep without medication, and it feels so damn good.

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from After 5 Years Of Relying On Medication, I Can Finally Sleep