#while rock and roll are supposedly older in terms of code line

[inifinitypink]

I have no issue with people shipping drns with eachother (except rock, roll ad blues), I'm just more on the side who looks at these guys as a found family. Dr. Thomas Light and his 18 kids

[nickelkeep]

Visits and Bribes

Read on AO3

“This isn’t working. I can do anything with a computer guys, except talk to spirits.” Charlie looked over her laptop at Sam and Dean. “I’m serious. I’ll figure out patterns, I’ll predict future hits, I’ll crack codes.” She clicked away at a few keys before closing her laptop. “I thought you guys had a medium on retainer for this?”

Sam rubbed the back of his neck. “We do. Sort of.” He looked at Dean. “Right?”

“I think she likes you more at this point.” Dean sipped at his coffee. “I mean. Cas and me? Yeah. I don’t think she’s forgiven him, not completely.”

Charlie looked back and forth between the two brothers. “I don’t care which one of you does it. Call your damn psychic, get them here, and I’ll help them help you.”

Dean stared at Sam, who in turn threw his hands up in the air. “Fine. But you and Cas can’t hide forever. She probably already knows. She’s a psychic. She probably saw it coming for Chuck’s sake.”

Sam stormed out of the room, already pulling out his phone. Charlie cocked her head in confusion and glanced back at Dean. “History?”

“Let’s just say Pamela and Cas didn’t meet on the best of terms. It was an accident. But, it’s left Pamela untrusting of angels.”

“I think most people would be untrusting of angels if they knew what dicks most of them are. We lucked out with a good one.”

Dean smiled. “That we did Charlie, that we did.”

Sam reentered the library. “Pamela is willing to come. Even with Cas here.”

“You bribed her.” Dean accused.

“That wasn’t necessary.” Sam slid in the chair next to Charlie. “She missed me.”

“You would have taken your seat over here. What did you offer?”

Charlie looked back and forth between Sam and Dean. “I’m not a shield right now, am I? Cause that’s not what a little sister is for.”

Sam offered an apologetic smile to the small redhead. “Not exactly a shield.”

“Samantha.” Dean glared and pointed a finger at his younger brother. “You didn’t.”

“It worked.” Sam shrugged defensively.

It was Charlie’s turn to be concerned. “He didn’t what?” She turned and looked at Sam. “What did you do?”

Dean sat back in his chair. “Pamela has a type.”

Charlie’s jaw dropped as Sam turned as red as her hair.

***

Dean had left to go get Pamela, after losing yet another game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Apparently, the medium couldn’t drive, and that left one of the brothers to go get her. To be honest, she was surprised that Sam didn’t just go himself. To say that the bunker was in an awkward stalemate was an understatement.

Sam had tried several times to approach Charlie, but he was so deep on her shit list that she wasn’t sure what he could do to get off it. It was amusing to Charlie, watching him run around and try to apologize in his own way. Sam had made her favorite tea, the tv had conveniently found itself left on her favorite shows, she even found her laundry done.

The laundry had truly been a peace offering. Sam rarely did his, so to do hers was down right begging. She sighed and went to his room, knocking on the doorframe. “Message Received Sam.”

Sam turned from where he was sitting on the bed. “Oh, thank Chuck. I didn’t know what else I could do.”

“Didn’t say I forgave you. Yet.” She walked over and sat next to him. “What did you promise this Pamela chick?”

“I didn’t promise her anything, actually.” He ran his fingers through his hair, his nervousness showing through his tic. “She didn’t want to come. She doesn’t hate Cas per say, but she is very cautious around angels. And we all know when Cas is concerned, the other angels aren’t very fond of him.”

Charlie nodded in agreement. “Ok, but you bribed her. And you used me in that bribe.”

“I did. And I promise, Pamela really is harmless. She’s just very flirtatious. First time she met us, she was uh… let’s just say there were jokes about quarters off of asses.”

“That’s not helping your case.”

“Pamela is bisexual. You match her taste in ladies. Almost exactly to a T.”

“Samuel William Winchester! So help me, what did you promise her?”

“I told her that we had a smart, cute, fiery redhead here at the bunker that she could flirt with.” He held his hands up. “I promise, that’s all I told her. She said to come and get her.”

“And when I’m not what you’ve promised?”

“Trust me. You are.”

Charlie covered her face with her hand and sighed. “You’re still making my drinks while she’s here.”

Sam let out a sigh of relief and hugged her. “Deal.”

***

Dean and Pamela arrived later that evening. Charlie was sitting down at the War Table running logistics on her laptop while Sam was taking notes out of a book he was reading. Despite the way that the brothers had acted, saying she was royally pissed with them, she was warm and friendly while walking in with the older brother. Pamela was wrapped around his arm, and he guided her slowly through the bunker.

Charlie watched as Dean and Pamela kept their heads together whispering between themselves. The willowy brunette was gorgeous, which both brothers neglected to mention. She was wearing a leather jacket over a Ramones Tee, and jeans that looked like they had to be painted on. Pamela was also rocking a pair of aviators that were tinted as dark as possible, an accessory that caught Charlie off guard. Dean passed her to Sam, who embraced her in a massive bear hug, causing a melodic laugh to escape her lips. Just like most people, she had to look up to see Sam’s face. Her hand gently swatted at his cheek before she pinched it.

Sam guided Pamela to a seat at the War Table. She sat down delicately and gracefully as Sam pushed her chair in underneath her.

“Pamela,” Sam started, “this is Charlie. She’s our tech wizard.”

The brunette reached across the table, her hand extended. “I’ve heard quite a bit about you Charlie.” Her smile was dazzling.

Charlie took her hand and shook it. “Only good things I hope?”

“Only the best.” She looked to her left and right, but at nothing in particular. “Sam, Dean, could one of you be a sweetheart and break out some Jack?”

Sam laughed. “You just got here.”

“Yep, and I’m stuck here with you two, and soon an angel. Might as well get started.” Sam rolled his eyes and left the room to go get the requested liquor. “So, Charlie. How much did the boys warn you off of me?”

“To be honest, I don’t know much about you. Only that you’re a medium and the boys think you hate them and Cas.”

“Is that so?” She looked around. “Dean? Come here.”

Dean shot a death glare at Charlie before crouching next to Pamela in her chair and touching her arm. “Yeah?”

She held out her hand. “Hand. Now. And don’t roll your eyes.”

“Are you going to do the thing?”

Charlie piped up curiously. “The thing?”

Dean shook his head no rapidly as Pamela spoke up. “It’s just the one thing the boys hate. Might help you out as their adopted little sister.” She smiled, her lips curled up mischievously. “Hand, Dean.”

“Can I avoid this? I have leverage.”

“I’m listening. If it’s not good enough, I get to do it twice.”

Charlie sat up straighter, watching as Dean actually thought over the offer in his head. What could the medium do that supposedly terrifies both Dean and Sam?

Apparently, Dean thought his leverage was good enough to get out of the thing. “One. We didn’t tell Charlie much, because it would give you two stuff to talk about. I mean, we didn’t even tell you everything about her. Unless Sam told you more than I did.”

“Hand, Dean.”

“Two, Cas and I will stay in a hotel for every night you’re here.” Dean quickly spoke, trying to get out every word before he would have to give his hand to Pamela.

“Tempting offer as it is, this is your home Dean. But I will stick to doing it just once.” She looked over in Charlie’s direction. “Pay attention Sweet Cheeks. I’m sure I’ll have to do this a couple of times while I’m here, but it works best on Dean here.” She looked towards Dean again. “Hand.”

“Sonofabitch. You gonna do this to Sammy too?”

“Do what to me?” Sam returned with a bottle of Jack and some glasses.

“Watching Charlie?” Charlie stood up to get a better view of what Pamela was doing. “First stick your finger between their middle finger and their ring finger.”

“Shit.” Sam put the Jack and glasses on the table. “I forgot that I needed to go check, on that thing.” He quickly exited the room.

“Bitch! Get back here!” Dean called after him. He turned to look at Pamela who was feeling his fingers. “Look, it’s bad you’re doing it, you’re gonna teach Charlie too?”

“It’s female bonding. Just be glad I didn’t teach Castiel.” Dean blanched. “So, what was I saying Charlie? Oh, yes. I prefer my pointer finger, but your middle finger works too.” Pamela seated her pointer finger between Dean’s middle and ring finger, his palm facing Charlie. “Now you hook your finger around the ring finger, stop flinching Dean, push forward on the middle finger, and pull over on…”

“SONOFABITCH!” Dean yanked his hand away and sulked off after Sam.

Charlie’s mouth dropped in an amused surprise. “How did that work?”

“It’s better when you get the drop on them, but they work with their hands a lot, and the muscles don’t like being pulled in that direction. Like I said, it works better on Dean than it does on Sam, but that’s because…”

“Because Dean works more with his hands.” Charlie smiled. “I get it and I like it.”

“Let me guess, ‘cause you can sneak around and surprise them?” Pamela placed her hands on the table and rotated towards Charlie.

“They have threatened to get me a bell. Although I’m pretty sure Cas is first in line for that.” Charlie winced at mentioning the angel’s name. “Uh, sorry.”

“Sweet cheeks. I don’t hate the angel.” She took off her sunglasses, revealing that she was blind. “We had a bad first meeting. And that was 10 years ago. We grow up, we move on. Plus, can you imagine all the stuff he and Dean get up to? Woof.”

“Do you know how hard it was to get those two together?”

“That was you?!” Pamela slammed her hands down on the table excitedly. “Ok, I’m in love with you already.”

Charlie blushed, her skin matching her hair. “Yeah. Sam and me, actually. Found a case where couples were being abducted. Sam and I planned it to be me and Dean posing as the couple, then I would drop out cause of a stomach illness. Dean doesn’t like to leave things undone, so it forced him and Cas to be a couple.”

“That sounds like such a chick-flick. I bet he hated it.”

“Of course he did.” Charlie leaned across the table, “At least that’s what he says. Cas says that Dean won’t admit to anyone but him, but he was so grateful for a way to get his feelings out.”

“That sounds like the Dean Winchester we know and love.” Pamela placed her palms flat against the table. “So, the boys tell me you’re a redhead, that true?”

“Yes?”

“Nice. Jean Grey kind of red, or Mary Jane Watson?”

“You want to know my hair color or my personality?”

“Take it as you will.”

Charlie thought for a moment. “More like Barbara Gordon.”

“Alright then Batgirl.” Pamela pushed herself up. “Why don’t you come over here and lend me an arm? I need to get to know this place, and I’d love to get to know more about you.”

Bribe be damned. Charlie was going to enjoy this.

[vhyral]

Blooded Hands, Bleeding Hearts

How do I do this?

Pairings: Anna Hawke x Fenris, Reyna Hawke x Orsino, Garrett Hawke x Anders, Vatriel Mahariel x Zevran Arainai

Worldstate: Vatriel Mahariel is the Hero of Ferelden and Warden Commander, Garrett, Reyna and Anna Hawke are the three older siblings of Carver and Bethany Hawke with Reyna being the Champion of Kirkwall

Setting: Garrett and Anna Hawke have accompanied the Inquisitor to the siege of Adamant Fortress. This ficlet follows the party’s last moments in the Fade and the aftermath of the battle. Fenris and Anders arrive in Skyhold, seeking their respective Hawkes.

Words:  4775

Her hands are slick with red, her daggers slowly sliding out of her tightly clenched grip. The ghouls- no, the demons- whatever the corpses with the milky eyes and the black teeth are, they melt into nothing once slashed open and leave scars on her as farewell gifts. The Fade-air is thick and liquid when she breathes between strikes, clinging on the rogue’s clothes and dumping her hair.

It is not made to be breathed by creatures of flesh and blood, Anna Hawke thinks. It feels like she’s choking on honey.

“We cannot delay!” Cassandra’s voice echoes, after the last of the demons has been reduced to dust. “It knows we’re here.”

The Inquisitor scrambles closer, the little elf’s features drawn as she speaks with the warrior, casting worried stares towards the kneeling Warden ahead. She whispers and motions and the Seeker grunts. Two minutes, she issues and joins Blackwall at his rounds, circling their perimeter, their boots sloshing through the muddy, ankle-deep waters. Meanwhile, the bald mage walks to the Inquisitor and leans closer to her as if to share a thought. The wild boy with the hat- Cole- trips right behind him, tagging at his robes. Solas’ eyes have been sparkling with awe non-stop, even when they meet with the Fade horrors. Anna frowns and turns to her brother.

Garrett is at her side like always, his armor glinting under the dim green fade-light. He has been there since they fell into this pit of magic and uncertainty, guarding her back, and for a second, between the smoke and the smell of his thunderbolts scorching the stones near her feet, it feels the faintest like Kirkwall, like the life they had built with blood and sweat before being forced to flee again.

“I never thought I’d miss the smell of Darktown’s sewers yet here we are.” She gives him a tired smile and Garrett shines her one of his own, crooked and soul warming.

"Don't let Varric hear you say that." he laughs.

“I’m literally right over here, Hawke.” The dwarf rolls his eyes at them from where he had perched himself during the fight, on top a nearby rock. A fade-rock. It would not surprise Anna if it sprouted legs and began crawling around with the dwarf riding it like a mighty stead carrying him into battle.

"We will be fine.” Garrett promises, scratching at the remnants of a demon’s claws on the dark metal around his neck. “But we have to move. Soon.”

Further down the narrow path, the Warden Commander is on her knees, her elven lover’s arms around her, holding her close, holding her stable. Her own hands squeeze over her lower abdomen, paperwhite and trembling as she heaves.

"Visiting." Fenris says to the guard that stopped them underneath the Inquisition flags, right before they crossed the huge wooden doors. Behind him, a man is yelling to another guard, trying to gain access to the castle for his goat while a gilded wagon attempts to drive through the doors only to be stopped by flailing Inquisition soldiers.

Morning had already passed when he and Anders had caught the first glimpse of Skyhold from across the rocky mountain landscape, the snow on its tallest towers thick and glistening to the evening sun. The Grand Gates of the stronghold were still wide open when they reached them, letting the colorful, loud crowd of soldiers, merchants and refugees come and go under the watchful eyes of the guards.

"We were invited by Varric Tethras. Here."

The letter comes out neatly folded if not a bit worn out from use- a pretty stellar condition after having travelled half of Thedas in the chest pocket of his cloak. The other man's eyes flutter quickly over the few written lines, straight to the signature at the bottom of the page. There isn't much for him to skip and after weeks of reading it by the campfire, Fenris knows each word by heart.

Broody, it reads, I tried to convey your words to our dearest Hawke. I truly did, once. I'm sorry but for all my charms, Stabby seems to be having none of it- the answer is still no. The hiss I received must have been the shortest conversation I've have had since the Seeker ceased attempting to communicate with me with grunts. The Inquisitor says any friends of mine are welcome in Skyhold- Chipper's a good kid but unless you want your head shaved by an angry redhaired, I'd advise you against accepting any kind of invitations for this part of Thedas.

Then a scratched up line, like someone had snatched the parchment up and managed to scribble a few words before the letter was retrieved. Fenris, the big cursive letters almost screamed with her voice, you over worrying fool! We’ve talked about this. Extensively. I am a grown ass woman and I PROMISE I will roast you with red peppers if I see one lock of fucking white hair around-

These words he read every night before going to sleep. She had not written to him after reaching Skyhold. Too dangerous, too easy to get stolen and Anna never had enough patience to slap down a code instead of her bare thoughts. There was a huge smudge of inked fingertips after her scribbles and above Varric’s signature and the guard’s eyebrow raises noticeably when he reaches the part.

“Master Tethras is usually in the Main Hall this time of the day.” Fenris accepts the letter back with a nod and folds it carefully, slipping it back over his heart.

“He’s not here.”

The elf is stomping around in circles in front of the table one of the kitchen servants guided them to when they asked for Master Tethras. It is small and round, made of well polished pine wood and placed strategically in front of one of the Hall’s many fireplaces. Varric isn’t there but his papers are- stashed parchments, books, ink bottles and more pens than one single dwarf could possibly use neatly organized in one corner.

Anders, strangely, has claimed for himself the seat closer to the fireplace. He is now deftly swirling a pen between his fingers, making its short, black feather jolt and shed a little. His hood has been thrown back- leaving it on would attract more eyes than taking it off, he scoffed when Fenris grimaced. True, with the poor excuse of a beard he has grown around his chin, comically resembling Garrett’s- Fenris had tried not to snort the first time he had seen it-, his golden hair cut short and greying, the mage looks roughly ten years older and is hardly resembling the man that once set Kirkwall- and perhaps the whole of Thedas- on fire.

“You’re… feigning calmness.” Fenris side eyes him. Anders had been restless during their ride through Ferelden, pushing his horse forward to lengths he usually wouldn’t try to reach, spending nights awake and staring at the fire flakes as they rose towards the night sky. Now, he sits idly back on the chair, seemingly relaxed. Yet, after a second, more careful glance, it is obvious that he’s doing a shitty job at concealing it- the mage’s shoulders are visibly stiff and his features drawn, lips pressed together as he keeps his eyes squarely on the pen.

“It’s called keeping a low profile.” he murmurs, stealing a glance around the main hall. People had stared for a bit when they had first entered but visitors are nothing new for Skyhold and after an hour, they now are as good as another piece of decoration. “They’re in an emergency meeting and since you didn’t want to give your name and we can’t quite give mine, we weren’t even announced. No one's going to come running out of there to meet us any time soon.”

Fenris lets out a groan. They are so close, this waiting is killing him. The rumours have been bad but the uncertainty they carried is the worst of it all and the elf can feel himself almost vibrating where he stands, his hands flexing from and into fists at his sides.

The Champion of Kirkwall has fallen. Hawke is dead.

Both Anders and him had walked the long way to the Inquisition’s stronghold with one thought tormenting them every passing hour.

Which Hawke?

The ‘Champion of Kirkwall’ had been left as an open term on purpose, for safety, and they had all agreed to it. It was once the title Reyna Hawke carried, her legacy from almost being impaled on the Arishok’s spear during what now was one of the most widely known duels in Thedas. Yet even in the very city of Kirkwall, the title had been changing hands from one day to the other- after all, there were three Hawkes with exceptional abilities and where Reyna would clean a street in Hightown from thieves, Anna would locate someone’s lost kid the next day and both deeds would be deemed as done by the Champion. When they fled, rumor mingled with gossip and the Tale of the Champion, expertly written as to not give out much about the Champion’s family, had obscured the fact that there were more Hawkes running around Thedas than anyone could ever handle.

But Reyna never set foot in Skyhold, both of them are sure about that. The last letter that had arrived with her sand colored hawk barely a month ago spoke of Antiva and a small, sunny room rented near the Port. It spoke of the sudden decline of Orsino’s health and her reluctant- yeah, right, Anna had laughed- decision to aid the elder mage until he overcame his illness. Thus, only two Hawkes had ever arrived at Skyhold, no matter how strongly Fenris had opposed to the idea when Anna had come to him to talk. And now, someone is supposedly dead and he can feel his chest hurt every time he catches himself wishing that it isn’t her.

He scans the grand hall around him. Dust is dancing in the sunlight pouring in from the huge glass windows, swirling over the lit torches lining its walls. An elf in scout armor is walking their way and he takes a step to the side, placing himself in her path.

“Serah.” he calls. She blinks his way, one of her ears twitching over short, red hair. He gives her a second for the usual quick scan of his face. Her eyes widen the slightest to his tattoos and Fenris asks.

“Where to the Ambassador’s room?”

“What are you planning to do?” Anders is on his feet and following him closely as Fenris walks with long, sure strides across the Hall.

“I’m going to announce myself.”

“It’s impossible to outrun that!”

There’s blood running down Cassandra’s forehead as she yells, her eyes stuck up and glinting dangerously under the green Fade fires. The smell of sulfur is on the air, burning their noses, the hissing of raw Fade energy hissing at the edges of their hair, remains of the recent battle against the Nightmare.

“Go!” comes a hoarse order from behind their backs, “I’ll keep it busy.”

“Have you gone insane?!” Anna has never heard Zevran’s voice ring as thickly and ominously as right now. He grabs the Warden Commander’s arm when she swirls around, his fingers closing in what looks like a death grip. “We’re going.” he growls at her.

“Since when are you making my decisions for me, Zevran?” she hisses back, trying to shake his hand off but the muscles on the Crow’s arm flex and he tags her closer instead, her boots splashing through the murky waters. She glares daggers at him and he shakes his head.

“Since you, my dear Warden, seem to have lost your good judgement.”

“This is NOT the time for this!” Cassandra howls at the same time as a bellow crashes into their ears- the demon is recovering and it will soon be coming for them.

“Knives and fire and steel that cuts, too real, too solid, permanent, burning! Gut them, burn them, chain them up and drink them dry!” Cole wails and then doubles down and holds his head, grunting in pain. The Inquisitor rubs a comforting hand down his back.

“I can give you at least five.” Mahariel insists. “Run and you’ll make it. I have fought uglier things that this in the past.”

“Andraste’s flaming underpants, Vatriel-”

Thunder booms behind them and Anna jumps.

“If you could hurry it up a bit, thank you very much.” Garrett huffs from their rear guard. He raises his arms above his head and lets lightning rain down upon the few demons that have found the courage to slither through the scorched battleground from before and come after them. “I mean it’s not like we have a giant spider coming for our sorry asses here or anything. I can handle this, sure.”

Anna turns around, teeth tearing at her lips as she adjusts the grip on her carved knives. Her muscles still feel sore from their recent fights as she steps towards the demons, melting into the shadows. All she wants is warm food and cold beer and to put her feet up in front of a fireplace without something being out for her neck.

“Go back. To being. Fucking mist.” she hisses as she plunges a dagger deep enough into a ghoul’s eye, it sinks to the hilt. An arrow zooms by her ear as Varric falls into work alongside them.

“I can put up a shield.” she hears the Inquisitor’s voice. “It can hold for a while until you all get out of here and I’m a fast runner-”

“Not open for discussion.” the Seeker cuts her and Lavellan groans.

“Cassandra-”

“A barrier could indeed be held for longer than usual here in the Fade.” Solas offers. “But to risk sacrificing you would be ill adviced if not mindless.”

“This is the Wardens’ fault, all of it.” The Commander’s voice sounds adamant. “No, Zevran. This is MY responsibility.

“It is not even just YOU that would have to stay back anymore!” the Antivan snaps. Anna throws her dagger to a nearby crawling spiderling. It hits it square between its open jaws and it evaporates with a screech. “Good riddance, you freaky nug.” Garrett laughs. “Good one, kid.”

“Sir? Sir, please! You cannot go in there!”

Josephine finds herself at a loss when the strangers first storm right through her doors. She has no meeting arranged for the next three hours and the Council is not yet done. She had briefly returned to her desk to fetch a couple of official documents when the door had swung open, smooth on well oiled hinges. It hits the wall behind it with a bang, making her jump and sending several of the parchments she had been carrying to the floor.

“This area is off limits!” she states now, sharpening her tone and stepping forward to quickly slip her body in between the unknown pair of men that rushes inside and the inner door that leads to the War Room. A flutter of her eyes and the scout that had arrived seconds earlier to deliver a report quietly excuses himself back to the Hall. Hopefully the guards will be here soon enough. “You can’t just barge in here like this, gentlemen, please. We can talk this out.”

“Apologies, Serah,” the elf at the front stops a few steps away from her and speaks, looking her square in the eyes, “but we have come to see the Hawke siblings.”

His pupils are big, expressive and brightly green, mesmerizing as he firmly holds her gaze, and Josephine gives him a quick appraisal now that he is finally standing still instead of marching towards her.

“I’m afraid the Council is private-” she begins.

And then she sees them, where they’re poking from his scarf, around his neck and up his chin, the white tattoos with the faint blue iridescence that curl against dark skin. The ambassador knows better than to let her surprise show- she lets the initial rush of adrenaline of having this very elf right in front of her, here in Skyhold, pass. The man behind him shifts on his feet and Josephine eyes him carefully. He is wearing a hood that partially hid his face but she can make out the tiniest hint of blonde. She inhales sharply- if that is who she thinks he is, Cassandra won’t be happy at all.

Then comes dread- they are here for a reason. They are here for Hawke.

“Serah Fenris. Serah.” she motions towards the chairs of her office. “If you have a minute.”

“Go!”

Varric’s face is a mess of pain, loss and bitter understanding. “Garrett.” he croaks.

“The woman is with child, Varric.” The tall man rolls his staff in his hands before looking up, clear blue eyes meeting with the deep green of the Warden Commander. “And who’s better suited to fight in the Fade than a mage?”

“My brother,” he says loudly for her to hear, “he’s a Warden. If you meet Carver Hawke, let him know that his brother was very proud of him. Tell him his brother loved him, dearly, deeply, always.”

“That should embarrass him out of his grief pretty quickly.” he chuckles.

“No! Garrett!” Anna lunges herself at him, a hand grasping his wrist, the other one closing into a fist around the fabric of his garments. “This is bullshit!” she roars. “You’re not staying here! I’m not leaving you in this hell!”

She glares at him and Garrett gives her a small, weary smile- his free hand finds its way to her cheek and cups it softly- he smells of blood and sweat and ash but so does she and it’s a familiar smell.

“There’s no other way.” His voice is soft. “We will never outrun the Nightmare.”

She can feel a lump forming in her throat, the familiar pressure behind her eyes. She grits her teeth instead and shakes her head violently, scanning the area around them. They can hide, they can split up and try to confuse it, she can knife the demon in its blasted, cursed eyes-

His hand, still warm on her cheek, tags gently, guiding her eyes back on his face, keeping them there. Garrett’s cheeks and forehead are smeared with black and his lower lip sports a blood red cut- his breathing is hitched but he’s smiling softly at her and the rogue feels her chest constrict.

“There’s no other way, Anna.” he breathes. His forehead comes to meet with hers and her hands let go of everything to come cup his temples, her fingers hooking into his hair. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry it came to this. You’ll have to explain to Reyna, Bethany… to Anders-”

“I’m staying.” Her voice is ragged, her lips dry. “If you’re staying, I’ll be with you to the end.”

“Anna…”

“No, no!” she hisses. “You get to throw your life away but I can’t do the same for you? I’m staying, Garrett. You are my- I’m not going, I’m not losing you.”

Varric’s voice is hoarse behind her. “Kid…”

“Varric.” Her heart is fluttering like a caged bird now- her body trembles in the thought of what’s to come and then steels, warms up and tightens as she turns to face the dwarf. She didn’t come seeking death but leaving Garrett behind feels like a death in its own and she won’t have it. In a corner of her mind, somewhere, a small voice whispers- maybe with the two of us, we can win, we can make it, the two of us, together.

“You have to write to him.” she tells the dwarf. “Fenris. Tell him I’m sorry. Tell him I love him, now and forever.”

Varric’s face twists into a mass of pain to her words, his knuckles turning white where he holds Bianca. “Kid,” he shakes his head, “not like this.”

Something explodes in the distant and the ground underneath their feet shakes, the rumbling that echoes through the air growing louder instead of dying down. Anna unsheathes her knives as Blackwall lets out a war cry.

“We don’t have any more time!” he yells. “We have to leave. NOW!”

“And so, we’re out of time.” Garrett huffs.

“Wha-”

She turns- and then her limbs suddenly feel heavy, getting glued into place with every muscle that she tries to move.

“Garrett!’ she croaks bewildered. “Garrett, what-”

His hand is pointing towards her, lit with arcane energy and deep lines form on his forehead as she stares at him. Light pillars flicker around her and that’s when she realises the spell being cast on her.

“Spirit Cage?” she shouts. “Spirit Cage, on ME? Garrett! Let me go! Let me go right now!”

“Varric!” her brother yells instead. “Blackwall! Get her out of here, NOW!”

“No! NO!” The men’s hands are on her shoulders then, around her waist, pulling her, dragging her with them and Anna struggles against the invisible ropes that keep her arms from pushing them away, her legs from kicking. She’s being carried away and for every second passing, Garrett’s getting further away as he flexes his arms and firmly grabs his staff.

“Garrett!” she screams. People are yelling around her as they run. Blackwall is grunting under her weight and Zevran’s voice is encouraging his wife forwards from somewhere at the head of the line but all Anna can see is the tall man they’re leaving behind, the glinting of the ice blue gem of his staff, like a beacon in a sea of green.

“GARRETT, NO! NOT LIKE THIS! GARRETT!” Her throat feels like being teared up from the inside out. “GARRETT!”

At the distance, her brother looks back one last time and his voice carries over the ominous rumble when he yells.

“I love you.”

The words reach her just as the monstrous demon breaks through the hill hiding them from its view all this time. It comes with its million legs thrashing and an explosion of flying rocks and fire and Garrett turns to face it, small in the distance and with his armor shining with swirling mana.

She doesn’t feel remorse when the spell loosens and she beats against Blackwall’s helmet with all the strength she can find in her, when she kicks Varric in the shoulder while trying to break free. She doesn’t see the rift’s edges when they jump through it and crash against hard stone, knees and elbows bleeding as they scrape against the floor.

She only keeps on screaming as she’s held back from jumping back in, someone’s arms around her own, Varric’s hands against her chest as the Inquisitor stands and waits for a heartbeat and then for some more and when no one comes through, she finally raises her hand and blinding green flashes.

She screams harder than ever when he can’t hear her anymore.

“… Kid?”

Anna jumps, knocking down one of the flags the Inquisition advisors use to pinpoint missions on their map.

“Shit.” she mutters and reaches down. The damned thing has rolled further down the war table and she gets on her knees to get it. “Fuck.” she repeats. “Sorry.”

She straightens back up and catches the Inquisitor stealing a glance at her. Lavellan’s eyes are clouded but she averts them fast when Anna stares back and turns to where Leliana and Cullen are bickering.

“You ok?”

Varric usually doesn’t participate in Council meetings- a case has come up deeply connected to Kirkwall though and his presence has been requested. He has not taken the task with joy but he has come nonetheless. Anna knows he is here mostly for her. He has been trying to be in her immediate perimeter ever since they returned from Adamant Fortress.

She wishes he didn’t.

“Are you?” she rumbles.

Pain flashes across the dwarf’s face and the rogue feels the sting of her words coming right back at her.

“Damn it, Varric.” she sighs. “Sorry. I… don’t- this… it’s difficult.”

“I know.” He scratches his chin, absentmindedly staring at the advisors and the Inquisitor trying to find some middle ground over a mission. “Believe me, Kid, I know.”

“Did you write? To everyone.”

He shakes his head.

“The words won’t come.”

How do you write about something that doesn’t feel real? Several days have passed and still, whenever she manages to make herself faint, late at night, she wakes up the next morning with a few blissful seconds where everything feel like just another dream. Where Garrett bangs on her door with plates full of pancakes. Where Dog and her are a warm mess on her bed, the mabari drooling on her hair. And then, Garrett never comes and Dog is old and a world away from her, with the other half of her heart, and she has to truly wake up and keep on going, living, in a world with muted colors.

She has to write to Fenris, to let him know that she is alive, that she is ok. She knows but her fingers refuse to ink the words and the parchment is waiting half empty on her desk.

“What is taking Josephine so long?” Leliana wonders from the other side of the table. “It has been ten minutes already.”

“I should go check.” the Inquisitor turns. “Maybe she needs some help.”

There it is, a window out of this room, away from talks for future expeditions- all she wants at the moment and so Anna sets the little flag back on the table. “Let me. I could use some fresh air.”

“Ask her to bring all recent correspondence with Duke Dumont, yes?”

“No, not you, Varric.” Cullen calls when the dwarf motions to follow her to the door. “We just got to the requests from Kirkwall, we need your assistance.”

Varric shrugs, gives her a strained look and drags himself back to the war table, looking not pleased at all. Anna on the other hand rather prefers this turn of events- he is so stricken with grief and she can’t deal with this right now. She needs space.

“Later, Varric.” she waves, letting the doors close behind her.

She is glad no one has fixed the hole in the wall between the war room and Josephine’s office. She gives herself a second to stand before it, letting the setting sunlight blind her eyes and the breeze caress her face. It almost feels like a touch across her cheek.

“Josephine?” she calls, pushing down the handle to the dark door leading to the ambassador’s office. “Leliana is looking for you- oh, visitors. Excuse me-”

One of the men standing over Josephine’s desk is covered from head to toes, a dark cloak around thin shoulders and his head hidden underneath a hood. He is hunched over the various papers and talking to the ambassador with a low voice- tension is radiating from where his hands have clutched the rim of her desk, bony fingers white from his tight grip.

It feels fishy and she discreetly moves one hand to the dagger at her waist. The man standing next to him, clothed in similar travelling clothes and with white hair caught into a tight ponytail, turns sharply the moment her voice rings across the room.

Anna takes it all in at once, in a moment- the green of his wide eyes, the arch of his nose. The red ribbon keeping his hair in place. The glint of sharp teeth when he opens his mouth.

“Fenris?” she manages before going airborne, strong arms closing around her waist and burning hot lips crashing onto her own and he breathes his next word right into their kiss.

“Anna!” he growls. “Anna, Anna, Anna!”

Her own hands find his back instinctively, nails digging in and holding on to him desperately- the kiss is long and fiery, an explosion of colors and rapid hearbeats and for a glorious moment, she forgets everything that isn’t him. It leaves her heaving for air when he finally puts some space between their faces, both of them breathing hard into each other’s arms.

“You’re here.” Fenris whispers feverently, one hand reaching up to smooth her hair, guiding her head to rest against his neck. “You’re here, you’re safe.”

The rogue nods, her throat blocked for a moment. She can smell the road on him, the dust and the horse hair and underneath all that, his aroma that reminds her of nights under the sheets and warm arms around her back. Her eyes burn and she pushes against his chest a bit- she wants to see his eyes again, his face, him.

“How?” she croaks once words finally seem to return as an option of response. “What are you doing here?”

Fenris’ expression clouds to her question and his eyebrows lower menacingly over his eyes, a hint of anger finding its way to his now tightly pursed lips, to the sharp line of his jaw. His hand finds the side of her neck and squeezes firmly.

“What was I doing away from here is the right question. We heard the rumours, Anna. I thought you were dead!”

“I’m not dead.” she shakes her head. “I’m not…”

We?

“Anna?”

She freezes. It is the voice she dreaded to hear. Not here, not yet. She is not ready for this.

She looks behind Fenris, where the cloaked stranger has let his hood fall back over his shoulders. Golden hair shine under the last sun rays and she spots the red scarf around his neck.

“Where is Garrett?” asks Anders.

@forthelifeofoneburglar, @notyourinquisitormate, it’s been a while so here it is again. I’m almost done with the second part so I thought I should remind you you should reread it before the next assault of angst.