#while waiting mini cc kit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aharris00britney · 7 years ago

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ASKS 09

random stuff, some facts about me, some sims questions, video requests, hair sneak peaks, umm and other stuff too…. also I am 10 candies from being able to evolve that dumb fish so wig

Anonymous said: Do you have a car?

Nope!

Anonymous said: Hi wcif the shirts in your coming soon in June update ps I love your cc x

hey! for any WCIFs for that stuff, I am probably going to wait until the posts for the hairs are up because I know that people won’t check when the hairs are posted for my old wcifs.

@angelamariacalle said: you could make a WIP the eyes that you use in your post with ice cream?

i have no idea what you were trying to say ;-; the eyes I used are my default ones which you can download here

@ayoshi-sims said: Once you get this SHARE 6 facts about yourself and send it to your 10 favorite blogs ✨

I still play pokemon go (fight me)

I think that pop music was the best in 2007-2011 (One of the Boys, The Fame/The Fame Monster, Circus/Blackout, Animal/Cannibal, The best damn thing)

I am a super middle child! (two older siblings, and two younger ones as well)

I keep all my kpop albums on my dresser, with my Red Velvet one hanging in a red/white flower crown I own :)

My favorite food to snack on is either a tuna kit, or pickles

I am a bottom XD

Anonymous said: When you get this, please respond with five things that make you happy! Then, send to the last ten people in your notifications anonymously. You never know who might benefit from spreading positivity!

aaaaah okay um

my kpop girlies i stan

my angel rocky (my old af pug)

my friends (irl and online <3)

the concept of love is always something that makes me happy omg i know that is cheesy but like… imagine finding someone that is perfect for you will always be there when you need and like just GOD I NEED A MAN NOW

charli xcx music umm yeah it’s 5 in the morning

Anonymous said: Hello, I was wondering if you have your sims on the gallery? Thanks for your time. :)

Yeah! I have a few sims for download on my origin which is SPOTHARRIS I also have them for download on this page

Anonymous said: Hello!! Just wondering wicf the freckles from the discontinued model in your older posts (e.g. momo buns) thank you!!! BTW I love your stuff soo much! :)

Hey! I no longer have that file or even know where I got them from :( Here is an OLD af wcif I answered of them though

Anonymous said: Where are you from?

I am from Virginia, which is on the east coast of the United States :)

Anonymous said: Hi!! I feel like this is such a silly question but oh well I’m a noob. If I use your Quartz eyes V2 will they be inherited in the next generation if my sims have kids? Same with your hair colors as well?

I honestly have no idea how any of that stuff works :( I’m sorry! I assume it should but also maybe not? ;-; again, sorry!

Anonymous said: omg the hair with the flowers in it! *-* i love!! will you also make a version without the flowers? I also wanted to say I’m really happy your life is going well and congrats on the 30k followers

thank you so much!! and I the hair will obvi have no flowers :P the flowers should be accessories if everything works out. There are some clipping issues rn but I think it is fixable :) here is a pic without the flowers. If you guys have any recommendations about then pls send them my way

Anonymous said: Would you ever consider doing really long curly hair like the singer Sza’s?

I personally don’t like super long hair in TS4, it just doesn’t look well with most clothes and has clipping/weight issues :( I’m sorry!!

Anonymous said: Do you know what happened to SimpleSimmer?

I don’t, no. But I am sure she is fine :) sometimes people just take breaks

Anonymous said: Hi! So, i really love your sim with the dark brown hair (for your hair cc) and i was wondering if you could ever share that sim! Because she has a beautiful face. Also i am wondering which skin overlay (etc) you are using! You can find me in the gallery under the name: xThisGirl (if that is an easier way for you to respond :)

Hey! You can find her download here, along with all my other sims :) I am glad you like her <3

Anonymous said: Hey! I know you probably won’t read this as fast but I wanted to ask, how do you shift the hairline to the side or any of that? Like your daisy hair, briana hair, and that one wip you had in a tutorial video of yours! I really want to do that but I just don’t know how :(

I will maybe record something for this! No promises bc I have to get someone to edit the videos for me and I don’t wanna bug him but I will see if he can edit it for me if I film it :) It is pretty simple to do once you get the hang of it

@sims4storiesandstuff said: I just wanted to say, your hairs are the shit! Absolutely stunning. I rarely use the EA hairs anymore! I think you deserve every follower you have.

Thank you so much!!! I really appreciate stuff like this <3 I don’t play the game myself much so it makes me happy knowing that my hairs make other peoples games so much more enjoyable uwu

Anonymous said: hello can you make please a video when you make a hair and upload it?

I would like to! I just do so many random things while doing a hair like showing pictures to friends and getting their advice. So I will have to see, would you guys mind if the video had conversation stuff in it? As I said earlier, someone edits the videos for me so I don’t wanna get him to do more work for it by editing them out :( I will look into it for sure though!

Anonymous said: That hair wip in your lil video tutorial is absolutely beautiful!! Can’t wait until it’s released !! 🧡🧡

thank you so much!! Here are some more pics of it:

Anonymous said: are you korean? If not, how can you like kpop if you dont understand it?

I am not korean haha, but music is about more than understanding. It is about the feelings it vibes you get from it and the moods it puts you in. People love screamo music even though it is hard to understand, and music like instrumentals and dubstep heavy are just… what the music makes you feel. I listen to ‘normal’ pop, kpop, instrumentals, artists like grimes that mumble their songs a lot with production heavy stuff. I think that as long as the music is something you enjoy, you shouldn’t be judged for liking it. I know you aren’t trying to be rude with this ask so don’t think I am attacking you please! I am just trying to give you some insight into why different music interests people :)

Anonymous said: I’m so happy to see that you’ve made a patreon account! you really make amazing CC and that’s such a gift to the community, I’m happy that now I get to feel like I can give something to you haha :) have a great day/evening!

thank you so much! and thank you for supporting <3

@lesyatim said: Hello, it’s not ask. I only want to say that you make very beautiful hair and THANK YOU! I Love You💕💕💕💕💕 P.S. I’m from Russia and I don’t now English very well♡)

thank you so much!! Спасибо большое (that is suppose to say thank you in german lmao)

Anonymous said: When did u make a skin?

it is a hidden gem :P It is mainly to fix the collarbones bc I use multiple skin overlays so I that is why is was never posted :)

Anonymous said: Congratulations i hope you have a happy family 😄

ummm?? I GOT IT I GOT I GOT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT

@dangerouskindofmind said: I actually don’t have a question! I just wanna say you are one of my favorite sims 4 creators out here. Your hairs; snatched. Your clothes; beautiful. Your sims; amazing. And your personality looks just as good lol. I’ve probably downloaded like 99.9% of your content and I just wanna say thank you for all you do to make my sims 4 experience loads better. I also hope you’re having a great day

thank you so much!!!! I appreciate it a ton, I love that my content makes people love this game more <3

Anonymous said: Just wanted to say that literally all of your CC is beautiful and from what I’ve seen, I absolutely adore your personality. Keep it up my dear, you’ve got crazy talent. Much love <3

thank you, thank you!!! My personality irl is kind of shitty lmao I am really shy and like reserved ;-; and it is just memorizing how to do some editing to hair meshes, not much talent involved <3 thank you so so much again though!! I love getting these kind of messages

Anonymous said: Are you gonna make an outerwear cc pack when the seasons expansion pack releases?

I don’t make much clothing CC so I highly doubt it. I am working on a swimsuit that I might post later this month though! We will see what happens though :D

Anonymous said: thank you very much for a playlist that you shared with One Shot,Two Shot,I’m totally in love ur the best

yesss BoA is such a queen, listen to the full mini album if you can! It is one of her best releases in my opinion.

Anonymous said: aharris00britney awnsered me,cuz I remember my question and it’s on the asks recent post AND i’ll shake this print in all my enemies face thx,I asked about the patreon and I’m doing it right now bby <3

hehe thank you!! <3 you show them enemies

– just so the eating ass juicy booty ask so yep that is all I have gotten in the past month that I can answer :P

#asks #i also got the shiny kyogre #i tried to battle a the evolved form of larvitar and lost #i have gotten like 4 absols from the research things tho

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olivereliott · 5 years ago

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Custom Bikes Of The Week: 2 August, 2020

A slammed Royal Enfield Interceptor from K-Speed, a gleaming Yamaha TX750 cafe racer from Chicago, a BMW GS given the supermoto treatment, and an inch-perfect Yamaha DT-1 restoration from Germany.

Yamaha TX750A by Ron George At a glance, the ‘speed blocks’ and perfectly formed bodywork on this Yamaha make it feel like an immaculately restored classic racer … except it’s not. It’s actually a custom TX750A—a bike that Yamaha made to replace the XS650, but ended up being a total flop.

Most builders wouldn’t touch one with a barge pole, but Chicago-based hobbyist Ron George was bold enough to have a go.

Ron got the donor from a friend, who’d picked it up as an abandoned project but decided not to go ahead with it. The TX was in pretty beat-up shape, but luckily it was a TX750 ‘A’, and not the first-gen TX that had a notorious amount of issues. And as you can probably tell, much of his inspiration came from Kenny Roberts’ iconic YZR500.

Rather than working off sketches and renders, Ron dove in head first to translate what was in his head into metal. All the bodywork is custom—and that’s especially remarkable,because this was Ron’s first time shaping aluminum. He didn’t stop there though, and the Yammie is sporting under-the-hood upgrades too.

The forks have been rebuilt, and there’s a completely custom (and adjustable) mono-shock setup out back, held up by a Yamaha R6 shock. The front brakes are twin R6 calipers with Suzuki rotors, and the rear drum brake has been converted to a hydraulic setup. Yes, really.

Ron did almost everything himself, from rebuilding the carbs and rewiring the bike, to adding in an oil cooler and TIG-welding a stainless steel exhaust system. He even tirelessly polished all the metal and laid down the graphics, outsourcing only the seat upholstery. Can you say ‘commitment?’ [More]

Royal Enfield Interceptor by K-Speed Royal Enfield’s new parallel twin Interceptor is still a relative newcomer on the scene, but it’s already making waves. It’s one of those rare bikes that looks great out the box, looks even better with a few tweaks, and is ripe for even heavier custom work.

This Interceptor lands somewhere in the middle. It’s a showpiece for Thai super-shop K-Speed, who have loaded it with a full range of bolt-on Enfield parts they’ve just developed. The only fabrication here is a cut-and-shut on the rear of the frame—but everything else you see is doable with the right tools and a bit of time.

Most of the parts are from K-Speed’s ‘Diablo’ catalog. That includes the rear fender, with its license plate bracket and LED taillight, and the seat, side panels and rear shocks. These shocks are a little shorter than stock, so K-Speed dropped the front end to match, then installed 17” wheels with vintage rubber, and a short front fender.

There’s also a new LED headlight, LED turn signals all round, and a set of low and tight handlebars with new grips and controls, and mini-switches wired in. The speedo’s sitting on a relocation bracket to the left of the fuel tank, just to clean up the cockpit even more. A full twin Diablo exhaust system rounds out the package. [K-Speed]

BMW R1200GS by Motorieep The big GS is one of the world’s best-selling adventure bikes, but it’s real tricky to customize. Most attempts to circumnavigate its quirky Telelever front end and complex bodywork fall flat, and few GS customs actually turn out great. Pierre at French workshop Motorieep has cracked the code though, with this wild GS-based supermotard.

The ‘1200 SMX’ is based on a 2007 R1200GS Adventure, but there’s little of the original chunky silhouette left. It’s been transformed with a genius concoction of parts: a modified Ducati 125 Regolarita Six Days fuel tank, a set of newer R1250GS front side panels, and KTM 690 SMC rear plastics.

The tank uses an external fuel pump and only holds seven liters—but there’s space under the seat to install a secondary 10-liter reservoir.

The front end’s been changed entirely, with a set of 50 mm Marzocchi upside-down forks. The rear shock’s from WP Suspension, and the brakes are from Brembo. Pierre swapped the swingarm out for one from a BMW HP2 Megamoto, and laced up a pair of 17” Excel rims.

Finishing kit includes an Acerbis headlight nacelle with LED internals, a custom speedo mount, a UFO front fender and upgraded foot pegs. Pierre also added a Lithium-ion battery, moved the fuel injectors, added a set of BMC conical filters, and built stainless steel exhaust headers that terminate with an Akrapovič slip-on.

If the 1200 SMX appeals to you as much as it does to us, good news: Pierre will build you one in five weeks, provided you throw €27,000 his way. But only one, mind you … he’s limited production to three units, and two are already sold. Once that’s gone, you’ll have to wait until he designs the next-gen 1200 SMX, which will be based on the newer, liquid-cooled version of the GS. [Motorieep]

Yamaha DT-1 restoration by Peter Abelmann There’s a growing sentiment that small capacity motorcycles will save motorcycling. And when it comes to a legacy of building smaller bikes, Yamaha have some real gems scattered across their back catalog—like the charming DT-1.

First released in 1968, the DT-1 was effectively a street legal dirt bike before ‘dual sport’ was a thing. Powered by a 250 cc air-cooled two-stroke single, it was simple, solid and inexpensive.

According to Peter Abelmann, a German classic Yamaha two-stroke expert, the DT-1 was never really brought into Europe. But he managed to find one that was allegedly imported for a now-deceased tennis star; it had very low mileage but hadn’t been stored well, so Peter decided to bring it back to life.

Peter started with a deep clean, which also involved battling stubborn corrosion. Then it was onto repairing parts that hadn’t survived—like a single fork stanchion that had to be swapped out for a part from Peter’s stash. The previous owner had also fitted a 21” wheel up front, so Peter sourced an OEM 19” unit and slotted it in.

The engine was still good to go, but Peter did have to make two major changes. Somewhere along the line, the head had been swapped for a ‘Genuine Yamaha Tuning’ performance part, but it didn’t sound right, so he swapped it for an original head. And one of the cooling fins had broken, so he had a friend repair it with aluminum.

Some parts were repainted (like the exhaust), while others were simply touched up. The end result takes us right back to the late 60s, with just enough patina to keep things authentic. [Via]

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bonniejstarks · 5 years ago

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BLACK FRIDAY BEAUTY SALES TO MAKE YOUR WALLET…SING? SOB?

Image borrowed from Getty Images until I can find another

According to the Retail Council of Canada, 43% of Canadians are planning to purchase something on this borrowed-from-the-USA day, Black Friday. It’s also the biggest shopping day of the year in Canada, and although its craziness makes me want to stay in bed, it makes so much freaking sense: it’s exactly the right time to do all your holiday shopping. Not only does it mean you save on gift-giving, you’ve got a month if you need to return or exchange anything. (Props for knowing all that already, US-based friends!)

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Actually, if you’re Canadian, has this all-in-on-Black-Friday phenomenon fully caught on with you? Have you shifted your holiday shopping habits to participate? Or, as is for many of us with Boxing Day sales (apparently 34% of Canadians expect to shop those), is this retail extravaganza more about stocking up on necessities with a side of luxuries-at-a-discount?

And just for fun, did you know that for the last seven years NASA’s nod to Black Friday has been “Black Hole Friday,” a day of sharing black-hole images and info?

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where to shop black-friday beauty

Some of these sales are Friday specific, but many will go through into Cyber Monday, whether they say so now or announce it on the weekend, so it’s worth checking the sites again for more deals at the start of the week. (So many of us shop online now… do we really even NEED Cyber Monday any more?)

AMAZON CANADA has all kinds of Black Friday deals as they always have on Black Friday, and they’ll definitely have Cyber Monday sales as well. But I find the site so frustrating to navigate that I just look for what I want, and if it isn’t on sale, I don’t buy it right away. That said, I did notice that this year the Philips DiamondClean Classic Rechargeable Electric Toothbrushe ($139.99 CAD at amazon.ca) is $100 off – that’s a 42% discount, and pretty amazing. I’ve had one of these toothbrushes for years (it’s still going strong) and I love it.

Of note is that Amazon Canada is helping the Toronto Fire Fighter’s Toy Drive and the Children’s Aid Foundation of Canada by facilitating the no-effort donation of gifts and toys to less fortunate kids this holiday season. While you shop, stop on this page to select the charity and something to purchase as a donation. Easy!

BITE BEAUTY is continuing with their 75%-off business, except for Black Friday it’s a sitewide discount with the code BLACKFRIDAY. They’ve also added a 5-piece GWP (with a great lip-print zippered pouch) for orders that hit $40 or more.

The Body Shop and The Body Shop Canada – no advent calendars, but there’s a Black Friday tote…

THE BODY SHOP is offering 40% off everything (except holiday gift sets) in store and online; holiday gift sets are 25% off. And no, you won’t snag an advent calendar, unfortunately. They’re all sold out on the Canadian and US websites. However, do check out the Black Friday Tote ($49 CAD and $49 USD at thebodyshop.com), which is stuffed with $141 CAD/$128 USD-worth of stuff.

CHARLOTTE TILBURY has added new products to the 30%-off sale on the brand’s website. Many are sets, duos or trios; a couple of them include four or five items. Also on sale is a variety of accessories, including cel phone cases and totes.

DYSON CANADA is offering free accessories and (in Canada) a very cool stand with each Dyson Supersonic ($499.99 CAD at dysoncanada.com and $399.99 USD at dyson.com) purchase through December 2nd. Specifically for Black Friday weekend, Dyson is also offering up to $200 CAD/$250 USD off certain vacuum cleaners, fans and humidifiers.

GLOSSIER is offering 20% off all the things, and up to 35% off all its sets. I mention it because I want to try Brow Flick ($22 CAD and $18 USD at glossier.com) and may already have put a Black and a Brown in a virtual cart. (Yes, it’s much more expensive than the Ardell Stroke-A-Brow Pens, but Glossier won’t charge shipping if I spend more than $40. Shipping from Sally Beauty Supply in the US makes my Ardell expenses about the same as my potential Glossier spend. At least that’s what I’m telling myself today, because the Glossier discount means I have to buy a third item or pay $8 CAD to get free shipping.)

INDEED LABS is offering 50% off everything online until midnight, no code required. Worth trying if you aren’t familiar is Hydraluron hydrating serum (I’ve been a fan since it first came out); Exfoliator II Facial Powder Exfoliant (powder with a decent amount of biodegradeable scrubby ingredients), a new formula that replaces the previous version that contained microbeads; and the Hydraluron+ Volumising Lip Treatment, one of my favourite lip balms.

IT COSMETICS is more generously offering 25% off with the code FRIDAY2019 on its Canadian site; spend $100 or more and you’ll get four new samples worth $64 CAD. In the US, the brand is offering 20% off with the code THANKFUL. The It Cosmetics CC+ Cream SPF 50 (comes in 12 shades now) is still my top go-to for foundation. I know a few lovely friends of Beautygeeks experience disappointing on-skin oxidization with this formula, but it stays pretty true on me and always, always makes people think I have a nice complexion.

Shoppers Drug Mart Black Friday beauty deals

NYX COSMETICS in Canada and the USA is offering 30% off everything online (except holiday stuff) and 50% of select items, plus a GWP of mini lip colour, mascara and makeup sponge when you hit $40.

L’OCCITANE is featuring 50% off their two Doorbuster Beauty Sets: each set of six travel sizes comes with a very pretty zippered case, all for $25. Gift sets appear to be 30% off, too. On top of that, if you spend more than $100, you score a gift-worthy 7-piece Beauty Essentials set, and if you spend more than $190, you’ll get instead an even-more-gift-worthy upgraded Bestsellers set.

RIVERSOL is a Canadian, pH-balanced and fragrance-free skincare line designed by dermatologist Jason Rivers for people with rosacea. Details on the line and its key ingredients plus info on how to get a free 10-day trial kit are in this post. If you’ve tried the products and like them, you need to know that until midnight you’ll save 30% on your next order if you use the code 2R83CT7S. The site serves Canada and the USA; shipping is free when you spend $69 or more.

SALLY BEAUTY is offering a bunch of different ways to save, including deals you’ll get with the use of various numeric codes; I find it a bit dizzying, actually. I only buy Ardell Stroke-A-Brow pens there because shipping-to-Canada costs sting so much. (Haven’t found a Canadian online retailer yet. Probably worth checking on now…)

SEPHORA Canada has a variety of little sets available for $25 or less each, plus an up-to-50%-off sale section that hopefully is as robust as it looks (if only you could tell without clicking on the image whether something is sold out!). The Lanolin 101 Ointment Fruities Duo ($22 CAD at sephora.com; not available as a duo in the US) is great; the formula is lanolin + lanolin oil so it’s a bit less sticky than pure lanolin, and worth trying if you’re currently traumatized over the tragic demise of Bite Beauty Agave Lip Mask (R.I.P.).

SEPHORA in the US has a $15-sets thing, plus the up-to-50%-off sale section.

SHOPPERS DRUG MART applies only to Canadians – apologies to our US-based friends. But they’ve got good stuff and they’re everywhere here, so it’s worth mentioning that with a spend of $75 or more on makeup, skincare or fragrance, you’ll get 20X the PC Optimum points. The rest is a variety of deals specific either to the brands or to particular products. For instance, there’s a 25% discount on Clarisonic tools – it’s a great time to buy the Mia Smart, my fave because it fits the Clarisonic massage-head. (I only use my Clarisonic Mia Smart for facial massage.) As well, you’ll find a Biotherm 24-day Beauty Advent Calendar that is now $79 CAD, down $20 (value $225CAD).

ULTA is another one that offers a whack of ways to save on Black Friday. It also carries the Ardell brow pens I like; I don’t know why I’m not buying them here. Oh wait, I remember: they were out of one of the shades I wanted, Soft Black or Medium Brown. *curses*

Vichy Mineral 89 is on sale at vichy.ca right this minute

VICHY CANADA is included here because I’m so fond of Vichy Mineral 89. The sale is $25% off sitewide with the code FRIDAY, plus you’ll get a 9-piece gift worth $91 and free shipping if you hit or pass the $75-mark. As for Vichy Mineral 89, the 50 mL ($29.96 CAD down from $35.95) and the 75 mL ($37.46 CAD, down from $49.95 CAD) are both on sale. Today only.

VICHY in the US offers a personalized 5-piece GWP + free shipping with a $49 USD spend.

WELL.CA offers 75% off more than 1000 items, and various deals on various products, including a 30 mL Consonant HydrExtreme Hydration Booster ($64.80 down from $72) and a Consonant Skin Renewal Set ($26.38 at well.ca) worth $70. Damn, I wish they carried Ardell Stroke A Brow pens! They ship to the US, btw, free over a certain amount.

over to you

Are you shopping or have you shopped today? Online or in person?

Did you hit any beauty sites that I haven’t included here?

shoppity shop-shop

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nickelsonbnirmakbf32insuran-blog · 6 years ago

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BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurancereviewsite.xyz

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honda jazz insurance cost

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monkeystrokes3 · 7 years ago

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R U O K ?

It's not the most glamorous gig, but hey, for a 34-year-old, freshly canned telemarketer, it's a gig.

The hardest part is answering the phone. Schunick's Opsamology. Othalmopsoly. Opmathology. Gosh dammit, Ophthalmology. Try it. Amirite? Four times out of five, I sound like Sylvester the Cat. If it rang more than twice a day, I'd get the hang of it. But it doesn't.

Otherwise, nothing to it. Basic filing, sort the large-type magazines, make random attacks at the dust, and hand out those silly looking wraparound shades to teary-eyed patients heading out into the sun.

Business is slow. Like, bumper-to-bumper turtles. My second week, and there's been twelve customers, tops. Glaucoma checkups, bifocal upgrades, sat-on frames.

Dr. Schunick. The dude is old. A sweetheart, but addled. Working out of a generic office space next to a Rite Aid. A hunting dog's energy, but a rocking chair's creak. Despite the wall of framed "License To's," the guy no longer drives a laser. By the shake of his hands, that's a good thing. "Those days are done," he tells me. "Now I'm strictly a read-the-chart guy."

He seems happy I'm here. Whoever Birdie was, the previous me, he misses her fierce. Said the place was a mustard-less ham sandwich without her.

Anyway, he's pretty irresistible. Gives me a big smile every morning with the same one-liner ("I can't believe you came back"), pays fair, and doesn't mind a smoke break or three, like the one I'm on right now.

Not that he'd notice. He's been in the examination room for the last two-and-a-half hours. Probably polishing his do-hickeys so the day won't look like a total waste.

I stomp out my butt, and head inside to clean the bare-bones kitchenette, which means tossing the filter from the dingy white Mr. Coffee that's older than I am, and wiping up the doc's inevitable trail of Sweet'n Low. The mini-fridge is low maintenance, empty except for some old condiments and a box of lumpy baking soda.

There's smoke curling from the dented microwave. I pop the door. The gray cloud clears, something's inside. I take a whiff. Burnt egg? Quiche, maybe. On the counter are a plastic eye-drop bottle, and a tissue with a bright yellow spot.

What's up, Doc?

I go to the examination room door, and knock. No answer. I crack the door. It's dark inside, except for a pencil-thin beam of blue light shooting across the room, over the empty examination chair.

I fumble for the fluorescents, and pee myself a little. The chair isn't empty. Crumpled forward onto the monster examination apparatus of eyepieces, dials, scopes, focus adjusters, and interchangeable lenses, is Doc, looking deader than an amateur taxidermist's attic.

At his feet, a Maybelline blush compact, popped open, and a fistful of little white pills scattered like pharmaceutical buckshot. A smeared ribbon of blood runs across the apparatus' Formica base.

I give him a shake. His lips part and a string of saliva heads for the floor. No eye flutter. Doc!! I rerun the day's tape. Did someone slip past me, dumb enough to think there was something in here worth stealing? Junkie? Pill thief? Dolled up bag lady?

I thumb-hammer 911 and blurt the address. Then I notice the black pouch.

Carbs and sugar. I race to the kitchen, grab a crusted bottle of Heinz ketchup from the fridge and hit the 57, dripping red onto the blackened quiche until it looks like the devil's graduation cap.

I run back, push the slack-mouthed doctor upright, and stuff quiche into his maw, up-and-downing his jaw in artificial mastication, a mush-mouth ventriloquist dummy.

Five minutes later, his eyes flutter. I ask my first question. "How long have you been diabetic?"

"Too long to mess up like this," he pants.

I ask my second question. "What the hell is going on?"

Get a load of this. Seventy-four-year-old Harold Schunick, aging ophthalmologist, starts seeing black spots. Guesses it's diabetic retinopathy, which is -- get this -- when tiny blood vessels at the back of your eyeball start to leak. Ick. Sometimes fixable, sometimes not. He wonders which, but doesn't want to go to another doctor, because he doesn't want it on his medical records. If word got around his vision was failing, his practice would die. Ha! A half-blind eye doc! So he dilates his right eye with those yellow drops, not his left, with the idea that he can sit in the chair, shine that blue gizmo light into his eye, and examine himself with the help of an old cosmetic mirror Birdie left behind, reflecting back into the scope eyepiece. Can you believe it? Hoot!

Only the doc/patient decides to have lunch while he's waiting for the one eye to dilate, and screws up. By the time he gives himself his pre-meal insulin injection, his already dotty vision and depth perception are even more wacked, and he overshoots himself by God knows how many cc's. Then he enters 20 minutes instead of two on the microwave, and, wondering why the ding is taking so long, realizes his eye is fully dilated. He forgets the quiche, goes back to the exam room, and in the middle of his cockamamie, gets woozy and passes out in the dark.

"I thought maybe if I ate enough Tic Tacs," he told me.

"They're sugarless, you goof!"

"They are?" You should have seen him. So dopey cute.

Right before he passed out, he tried to check his blood sugar. Pricked his finger, dropped the testing kit and smeared blood all over. If my fat aunt Tina (Type 2) didn't have the exact same glucose monitor, I never would've figured it out.

Said he called out for me. Must've been smoke break number two.

The EMS crew has checked him over and given a thumbs-up. Now I'm on smoke break number four. When he's finished flirting with the paramedic who took his blood pressure, I'm going to take him out for a sugar-free milkshake.

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olivereliott · 8 years ago

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Review: The 2018 Harley-Davidson Softails

When Harley-Davidson announced its new Softail range, Dyna fans wept and shook their fists. Their beloved twin-shock platform was gone, with existing Dyna models absorbed into the eight-strong Softail model line-up.

It’s understandable—the Dyna was the go-to performance Harley for many riders. But if the new Softail rides better than the old Dyna, does it matter? To find out, I headed to Cataluña in the east of Spain, to sample the new range.

Rough Crafts‘ Winston Yeh rode the new bikes a few days before me. He said, “If you think the old Dyna rides better, wait ’til you get on a new Softail—then make the judgment.”

“The bike is lighter even when pushing it,” he continues. “The Softail is now only slightly heavier than a Sportster, but has much more power, less vibration, and less heat. I’m super excited to get my hands on one, and also to see what the custom shops all over the world will do with it.”

So how did the Motor Co. pull it off? Basically they’ve built an entirely new motorcycle—with a stiffer chassis and a better engine—and then morphed it into eight different variants. In ascending order of price, these are the Street Bob, Low Rider, Softail Slim, Fat Bob, Deluxe, Fat Boy, Heritage Classic and Breakout

The goal was to mesh all the classic appeal of the Softail with the performance aspect of the Dyna—but make it better than both in every way, with less weight, better handling and more power. It’s Harley’s largest product development project to date, and I have a fat PR pack in front of me explaining every little detail. But I’m going condense it down to the two most important bits: the chassis and the motor.

With its clothes off, the new Softail is a work of art. (See Street Bob, above and below.) It has the same faux hardtail layout as its predecessor, but with a conventional shock rather than the previous push/pull system. The geometry’s been revised too, but more importantly the frame is 65% stiffer than before, making the overall chassis 34% stiffer. Weight reductions vary, with some models shedding as much as 35 lbs.

Harley use two different swing arms—one for wide and one for narrower tires—and three different steering neck angles to tweak each model’s individual setup. The suspension is all-new too; the rear shock is adjustable for preload, and the front forks feature a ‘dual-bending’ valve system for a more responsive feel.

Powering the new Softail is Harley’s stellar Milwaukee-Eight power plant, available in two variants: 107 ci (1,746 cc) and 114 ci (1,868 cc). It’s a thing of beauty, and it’s a total gem to ride too. That’s not just the PR talking: I sampled it on last year’s touring models.

Each model comes standard with the 107 mill, but you can also get the Fat Boy, Heritage Classic, Breakout and Fat Bob as 114s, each with a high-flow air filter.

The 45-degree V-twin’s biggest strength is that it delivers power smoother than you’d expect from a big American cruiser, without sacrificing an ounce of character. That smoothness is down to a dual counter-balancer, which also means that the engine can now hang off rigid (rather than rubber) mounts. This makes it a stressed member, adding to the overall flex resistance.

Jumping from the previous ‘high output’ 103 twin cam to the Milwaukee-Eight has also resulted in whopping torque gains. Harley claims that the 107 has 145 Nm and accelerates 10% quicker than the 103. The 114 has 155 Nm, and is 9% quicker still than the 107.

Other new features include Daymaker LED headlights all round, new instruments, and a wet sump that sits lower (the old oil tank had to make way for the under-seat shock). There are also some nice ‘shortcut’ features for customizers, like rear struts that can be unbolted, and a two-part clutch cable.

I was itching to see if all this hard work has paid off—especially since Harley picked an unforgiving proving ground for the launch. We’d be riding four models over two days, over some of the twistiest mountain roads in Spain.

I’ll dig into the details of each bike in a minute, but they all share some pretty universal traits.

For starters, I have to give H-D ten out of ten for build quality and final finish. The paint on each model is deep and flawless, thanks to some pretty rigorous QA processes. Engine and chassis parts sport finishes as diverse as wrinkle black and brushed chrome from model to model, and not a single item looks out of place.

But how do they ride? Paul James, product portfolio manager for the Motor Co., told me he hoped people wouldn’t say that the Softail performs well “for a Harley,” but that its performance would truly impress them.

Well, it did truly impress me. And every other guy I rode with.

If I’m honest, percentages of rigidity and performance increases go over my head—I just want a bike that feels good. The old Softail felt vague and spongy in corners, and the Dyna would flex if you pushed it too hard. But the new Softail is surprisingly agile—able to pitch into a corner, hold its line and fire out the other side.

Yes, it’s still a cruiser, so ‘agile’ is relative. And even though each model has improved ground clearance, you’re still eventually going to scrape pegs, footboards and sometimes exhausts.

If you’re looking to get a knee down, you’re obviously barking up the wrong tree. But we were riding on tighter and curvier roads than most customers will, at a pace that most customers won’t. And we were all loving it.

The 114 Milwaukee-Eight motor is truly monstrous, and the 107 isn’t far behind. And while big twins are all about torque, both love to be revved, with a slick and predictable throttle and fuelling feel. There’s also just enough of a vibe to stay true to that classic Harley feel, but not so much that I got off with numb hands or missing bolts at the end of the day (it’s happened to me before on the Dyna).

The six-speed box and torque-assist clutch shift easily enough, and I could actually find neutral, which was refreshing.

The brakes and suspension also impressed throughout the range. I seldom touched the rear brake (mostly because on some models I found the lever to be a little hard to reach, and didn’t have time to adjust it), and a couple of fingers on the front was usually enough to slow the bike down.

I mentioned the lack of fork adjustment to Harley’s people, and their reasoning was twofold: they reckon most customers won’t spend time on suspension setup, and the new forks perform well enough not to need it. I can see the logic in the first statement, and after spending miles riding these bikes harder than I should have, I walked away convinced.

So how did each individual model do? I’ll break down the key features of each, then what it was like on the road.

Heritage Classic 114 A traditional cruiser with saddlebags and a screen, the Softail Heritage Classic is the least relevant bike on this list. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t a sweet ride—and a good-looking one too, if that old school, big fender vibe is your thing.

Mine had a lush olive green paint job, surprisingly little chrome, and a mostly blacked-out motor.

It’s not the sort of bike you’d really customize outside of H-D’s own catalog, but it does feature upgrades like rigid, locking saddlebags, and cruise control. And I have to admit that the new LED lights—and the slick new analog-digital combo dial—are really well executed.

Out on the road, it shunts way quicker than grandpa’s Softail. As laid-back as it looks, it loves to rail turns and scrape floorboards. Sure, I’ll never dream of owning one… but if my retired Harley-loving parents upgrade this year, you can bet I’ll ‘borrow’ it.

Breakout 114 The new Breakout maintains the raked-out drag bike look that made the outgoing model so popular, but in a more modern package. The tank has a low profile from the side, and a killer outline when you’re looking down at it, with sharp corners up front and a taper towards the rider.

H-D were clear that the new Softails should retain as much classic Harley DNA as possible, but still move forward, and the Breakout’s running gear is the epitome of this. The oval LED headlight is inspired by the Livewire, and instead of a traditional speedo, there’s a narrow little digital dash integrated into the top handlebar clamp.

Riding the Breakout is a little weird. For boulevard posing it’s a dream, but with a skinny 21” front wheel and a whopping 240 mm 18” rear, pitching it through turns takes some getting used to. The front finds its line quick, but the rear takes a second to catch up.

It took a few corners to familiarize myself. But once I had the method down I was scraping the forward pegs, occasionally bouncing the exhaust’s heat shield off the black top, and literally laughing into my helmet.

Street Bob Harley-Davidson clearly didn’t want to spoil us too much, so they slipped at least one 107 into the set: the Softail Street Bob. As the cheapest new Softail, it’s the most likely entry point into the new range, and a logical step up for Sportster owners looking to upgrade.

Out the box you get a solo seat, mini ape bars and mid-mounted foot controls. The riding position is frankly bizarre and uncomfortable, but it’s also awkward in a way that makes you feel really cool riding it. I’m six foot tall, so a cruiser with a low seat height and mid pegs normally doesn’t cut it for me. Most guys my height are going to fit forward pegs and adjust the bars right away.

That’s also the Street Bob’s strength. It’s a blank canvas, and the Softail that’s probably going to get the most love from customizers. Plus there’s almost zero chrome on it, and it’s kitted with the same sweet little mini-speedo as the Breakout (finished in black).

It’s the lightest of the new range too, which—combined with its narrow 19F/17R wheel sizes—makes it the most flickable, and a total hoot to ride with those mini apes. Given the option, I’d be hard-pressed to choose between this guy, and the next one on the list.

Fat Bob 114 The bike that grabbed the most attention when the range was announced, the Fat Bob 114 is a muscle bike of the highest order. I’m a huge fan of the 2017 Dyna Low Rider S, and as far as I’m concerned, this is the replacement.

Let’s start with the obvious: the Fat Bob’s punch-in-the-face looks. If you think it’s weird and awkward, I’d like to direct you to the outgoing Fat Bob. Satisfied?

There’s not an angle on this bike that I don’t love. The pillbox LED headlight is killer, and so is the raised rear fender, the massive double barrel exhaust system, and the cast wheels. I normally detest drag bars on bike, but these drag bars start wide and taper down to 1”, held in place by beefy cutaway risers that tilt them closer to the rider.

My only gripe is the speedo. I love the analog and digital mash-up, and there’s plenty of information to keep you happy. But I was left pining for the same handlebar-mounted mini-dash as the Street Bob and Breakout.

Looking down at the tank to check speed on a monster motorcycle is less than ideal. (I asked, and swapping the speedo out isn’t possible without serious modifications).

Hooning on the Fat Bob was an epic experience. Harley’s Paul James hopes that this is the bike that will attract sporty riders who are fed up with pukka sportbikes, and he might just be right. It shouldn’t love corners because it’s 676 pounds (306 kg) wet. And it has 16” wheels measuring 150 mm wide up front and 180 mm at the rear. But it does love those corners—provided you’re willing to work for it.

You know how on some rides you just feel a bit off? That was me, the day I hopped on the Fat Bob. But once I’d figured it out I started finding my groove—just in time to swap bikes, sadly.

The trick is to counter steer, get your head and shoulders over, and muscle it through. It is hard work. It is tiring. But it’s bags of fun, and I’m aching for another go on a better day.

The Fat Bob is also blessed with the most ground clearance of the range, thick inverted forks offering even more performance, and pegs that are more mid-forward than fully forward. The biggest surprise? It was hands-down the most comfortable of the four.

So why are we talking about Softails, when there are more custom Sportsters on these pages than Softails and Dynas combined? It’s pretty simple. Harley-Davidson have said that they’re releasing 100 new models in ten years.

That’s a bold statement, and judging by just how different these new bikes are to their predecessors, they’re taking it pretty seriously.

It also has us thinking about the venerable Sportster. At 60 years old it’s long overdue for a major overhaul. If the Motor Co. was willing to kill off a bike as loved as the Dyna, is it that much of a stretch to imagine a modernized Sportster that lives up to its name?

I didn’t like Harleys up until a year ago, but somehow I’ve started to see the appeal. Sure, cruisers aren’t for everyone—but I’m convinced anyone will have a good time on these new Softails.

I asked Bill from Biltwell Inc. for his thoughts, and he said: “The bikes are pretty fantastic in context. We bought a Street Bob last week and are already falling in love with it.” And T-Bone at Noise Cycles was impressed too: “I could definitely roll the new Street Bob, and would be stoked to do my thing with it.”

High praise from guys in the know. Who else is looking forward to seeing what custom builders do with the new Softails?

Base prices in US$ for the new Softail models will be: Street Bob $14,499, Low Rider $14,999, Softail Slim $15,899, Fat Bob $16,999, Deluxe $17,999, Fat Boy $18,999, Heritage Classic and Breakout $18,999.

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