#who is experiencing everything for the first time

[areislol]

being transported into their world

►— pairings. honkai star rail men x gn! creator! reader

►— warnings. nothing really, not proof read 🙅🏻‍♀️, caelus is the trailblazer, romantic but you can see it was platonic if you want to! girls in the astral express are mentioned for a bit, i mentioned both dan heng and imbibitor lunae so don't mind that! mentions of self attempt/bodily harm for blade, boothill is ooc probably, spoilers of penacony quest, skipping herta space station (will be mentioned in other chapters though!), sahau (self aware honkai au)

►— synopsis. their beloved creator, the one who created many worlds, including theirs, had yet to return after thousands of years. but lately, they've been experiencing strange things, feeling like a heavenly, divine figure loomed over them. could it possibly be their one and only creator?

►— a/n. i've been thinking about a self-aware au but a honkai star rail version for a couple of weeks now after my reverse isekai'd genshin sagau series. also this may be a bit biased towards dang feng (imbibitor lunae) because uh i like him, maybe you can tell?

►— wordcount. 4.5k

for days they've felt uncomfortable, well, slightly. it only began to happen a couple of months ago when they felt as if something, no... someone was controlling their every movement and choice.

during their adventures, they felt an unsettling sensation creep upon them like a shadow in the night—a feeling of being watched, of a presence looming over their every move.

the presence was overwhelming, their body would stiffen, and they felt as if something like a heavy, invisible blanket was casted upon them.

at first, the passengers in the astral express dismissed it as mere paranoia, attributing it to the heightened tension of their journey or maybe the warping effects in the train. but as days passed and the sensation persisted, they couldn't shake off the unnerving feeling that they were not alone, that someone or something was observing their every action.

at times, they would catch fleeting whispers carried by the wind, faint voices that echoed in the corners of their minds. yet, despite their efforts, they could never make out the words, the words slipping through their grasp like elusive dreams.

as the feeling grew more pronounced, thoughts began to gnaw at their consciousness. who or what could possibly be speaking to them? why is it that every now and then they would feel a sudden boost and surge of power?

they knew deep down that the only being in the universe could make them feel that was,it could be no other than their creator.

the mere thought that their creator was dropping hints of their arrival was exciting. and only when the astral express crew noticed how each and every one of them felt the same exact things—looking around the moment they heard a voice, their body in sync as they tensed up... it was all too coincidental not to notice.

as they talked with one another and pieced the puzzle pieces together, using the information they found along the way travelling to each region, it all became clear.

it was a pivotal moment in their journey, the truth was revealed. in a flash of realization, they discovered that the presence they felt, the elusive voice they heard, was none other than their creator—the architect of their existence, the mastermind behind their trials and tribulations.

dan heng, himeko, welt, march and caelus had a hunch that it was their beloved creator, it couldn't be anyone else. everything added up, everything made sense. they acted like mad scientists, scurrying to their rooms and digging around every nook and cranny of their room, finding any evidence and papers that mentioned you, the creator.

as they all met up back on the train they carefully placed each and every newspaper and article about you. they had to make sure that it was really you. some of the articles that dan heng bought were from way back, thousands of years ago, he refused to tell anyone where he had gotten them from.

"in the vast expanse of the universe, where time flowed like a meandering river and galaxies danced in an eternal cosmic ballet, there existed a being unlike any other—a being known simply as a creator. born out of the primordial chaos, the creator was a solitary entity who traversed the endless void, seeking purpose in a universe devoid of meaning.

for millennia, the creator roamed the expanse, witnessing the birth and death of stars, the rise and fall of civilizations, and the ebb and flow of cosmic energies. yet, amidst the vastness of space and time, the creator found itself consumed by an overwhelming sense of ennui, a profound boredom that gnawed at their very essence.

then, the creator embarked on a journey of creation—a quest to fill the void with worlds of its own design, to sculpt realities from the raw clay of the cosmos. with a mere thought, the creator breathed life into barren planets, adorned them with oceans and mountains, and populated them with a myriad of creatures both strange and wondrous.

as creator delved deeper into their newfound passion, they discovered a love for the act of creation—a love that transcended time and space, a passion that ignited a fire within its soul. with each world it fashioned, each story it crafted, the creator found solace in the act of shaping reality, in the sheer joy of bringing something new into existence.

for six thousand years, the creator laboured tirelessly, weaving tapestries of worlds and galaxies, each one a testament to its boundless imagination and creative prowess. from the smallest blade of grass to the mightiest empires, the creator poured their heart and soul into every facet of creation, infusing each world with a unique charm and character all its own.

yet, amidst the infinite expanse of its creations, the creator remained a solitary figure—a godlike being adrift in a sea of its own making, forever yearning for companionship in a universe devoid of peers. and so, the creator continued their eternal quest, weaving worlds out of boredom and growing a love and passion for creation that would endure for eternity. and we, this universe, was crafted by none other than the creator, the place we call home. it is said that only after six thousand will the creator return to us, to watch over us once more."

the article itself looked worn, it wasn't signed by anyone, and no one knew who wrote it, or how they got the information. but it seemed plausible. millenniums... it has been well over six thousand years, it was about time the creator descended.

they had to be prepared, they had to tell the rest of their friends and families, the world. as much as they would like to keep the information to themselves they knew that you deserved a much better, bigger and more beautiful welcome.

sampo, gepard and luka were more than stunned and nervous, to say the least. their creator... was finally returning back? upon hearing the news from caelus they were sceptical at first, deep down they really wanted to see you in your glory, to finally meet the creator, but at the same time, it was nerve-wracking.

what should they say? what should they do in preparation and celebration? what gifts and offers should they give to you? nothing would do. they were positive that anything they bought, even if it got them in debt, would suffice. you deserved more than a measly couple of dishes and the most delicate and fitting garnets.

it was embarrassing really, their hearts racing as they tried their best to think of what to bring to your feet. but one thing they all had in common was their loyalty to you. if it was their life you wanted then so be it.

sampo is sampo, he was sure that his creator's glory and attractiveness were over the top, he would be sure to compliment you as many times as his mouth could allow, but he was sure that your beauty would be intimidating. no matter your looks your presence was more than enough.

gepard is nervous. his mind is full of "what ifs" and "what should i.." not even his sister can calm him down. every morning and night when he closes his eyes he's anticipating the day his sister barges into his room, yelling that the creator had finally descended. although he isn't quite sure of what to offer you he knows that whenever you need him, whatever you call him for he will be there in less than a minute, by your side or feet if you prefer.

whatever you ask of him, whatever favour you need from, he will never say no.

luka on the other hand is absolutely pumped to meet you! he had heard stories of you when he was a child, and from the stories told by the adults they described you as a kind being, who soon fell in love with the art, beauty and joy of creating. well, their most favourite was creating worlds.

he was absolutely sure that you would be the most kindest, heavenly person he had ever met, what was there to worry about now? luka knew that if he ever laid eyes on you he would fall in love no doubt, he would do anything for you. maybe you would agree to watch his wrestling matches?

jing yuan, blade, imbibitor lunae, and luocha are the most excited of all, sure, everyone is elated to finally meet you with their very own eyes. but them? oh lord... they all believe to be your worshipper, having heard tales of you from their parents, this alone caused them to be awe and love-struck with you.

they were a firm believer in you, you did no wrong in their eyes. all your actions and words were justified. they followed your principles, they made sure to announce their presence every time they came to your altar and placed down the most expensive jewels, dishes and gifts. (they had a shrine of you at home don't worry)

jing yuan was the one of the firsts to get hints that you were finally returning, the divine foresight fu xuan always looked so weary and cautious, but as time grew she began to be more... happy and elated, yet everytime he questioned her she was tense up and smile like it was nothing. and only when he pried did she say that she saw things, saw a blurred face, and heard a voice. "don't be alarmed... i'm here to tell you that.."

he made sure that everyone who worked under him and every prominent person knew of this, he began to make preparations of your arrival, he cancelled all meetings and plans, only focusing on you and your arrival. everything had to be perfect. he had even forgotten about the wanted criminal blade. jing yuan booked the most fanciest restaurant for a month max, he wasn't sure when you were coming, of course, so a month it was.

jing yuan prepared every entertainment and paid the orchestra, he wanted everything to be perfect, even the most minuscule details.

blade's loyalty was and is only for you and only you. he may be cold and stone-hearted (we all know it's false) but if it's you... whatever you ask for he will do it no doubt. he refuses to take orders from a stranger even if it is his friend, but if it's you? say no more. blade knew you were a kind soul, you needed protection from the other so-called "enemies" (he proclaimed it!).

he swore that you saved his life, years ago when everything was tumbling down, when his feelings got the better of him, he tried doing the unthinkable, as he blacked out he suddenly "saw" something.. a beacon of light, it was magical and airy, he tried his best to grasp onto the light but obviously could not.

it floated further and further away, and he followed it, his eyes glued only on the beacon of light. as it stopped moving, so did he, he continued staring at the light as it shrank into a ball, it didn't speak, it didn't look anywhere, it stayed there. suddenly he woke up, his chest heaving up and down as he tried to catch his breath. what was that?

sweat clung to his forehead when jingliu found him, concerned she rushed over to him, he refused to say a single word. he was left perplexed. what was the ball of light? why did he feel so at ease? why did it only appear after he...

he would make it his mission to meet you before the rest do other than the astral express crew and become your bodyguard, even if you deny his offer he will stick with you no matter what. of course, he would respect your boundaries but he knew that you didn't have the heart to deny anyone, especially your creation.

imbibitor lunae absolutely adores you, even if he was reincarnated the memories still pass on. and the tales being told by the grown-ups were famous around his area and still is. from the earliest days of his existence, tales of the creator had woven themselves into the fabric of his consciousness, painting a portrait of a being of boundless kindness and infinite compassion.

as a child, imbibitor lunae had listened with rapt attention to stories passed down through generations, tales of the creator's benevolence and the miracles they wrought upon the world. and in the quiet moments of the night, he would gaze up at the starry expanse above, whispering prayers to the creator, his heart overflowing with admiration and reverence.

when news of the creator's imminent return after six thousand years reached his ears, his heart soared with unbridled joy. in no time he set about preparing for your arrival, pouring his heart and soul into crafting the perfect gifts to present to his divine benefactor.

drawing inspiration from the tales of old, he fashioned intricate trinkets and tokens of his affection, each one imbued with his unwavering devotion and love. amidst the swirling maelstrom of feelings, one thing remained constant: his unwavering love for the creator.

imbibitor swore that once he felt or sensed a sign that would be arriving he would immediately act, he would be the first to meet and lay his eyes on your divine figure. slap him as many times as you want if you found it rude, he would only thank you.

luocha, despite remaining calm and composed on the outside, internally, he was freaking OUT. luocha found himself grappling with a myriad of conflicting thoughts and emotions. on one hand, he felt a profound sense of excitement at the prospect of meeting the creator, the architect of his existence and the source of all that he held dear.

yet, on the other hand, he couldn't shake off the nagging feeling of inadequacy, the fear of not being able to live up to your expectations.

his mind raced with a flurry of possibilities. what gifts would you appreciate? what could he offer to express his gratitude and reverence for the being who had breathed life into his world? with each passing moment, the weight of the impending meeting pressed down upon him like a heavy burden, filling him with a sense of anxiety.

despite his inner turmoil, luocha maintained a facade of calm and composure, determined not to let his anxieties show. with a steely resolve, he set about meticulously planning and preparing for your arrival, carefully considering every detail in his quest to find the perfect gift.

he even resorted to asking the children about what gifts he should bring, and yes, they did laugh at him but helped him nonetheless.

from ornate trinkets to rare treasures, luocha spared no effort in his search for the ideal offering, pouring his heart and soul into each carefully chosen item. yet, even as he laboured tirelessly to ensure that everything was perfect, doubts continued to gnaw at the edges of his mind, although one thing was for sure, if you didn't like any of his gifts he wouldn't be upset rather, maybe all you wanted was his whole body and life, and he would not hesitant once to give it up for you.

they all couldn't wait to meet you.

aventurine, sunday, gallagher and boothill are freaking out. horribly. mainly aventurine.. once the news had reached them from the astral express that it was possible (about 98%) that you were the comet arriving in a week... oh boy were they NERVOUS. everything HAD to be perfect. they had everything to thank you for, during their life and death situation they were lucky enough to survive—thanks to you.

it was only natural to return the favour, you created them, their personality, their arms, legs, their body, you sculpted their face, you made them. you made the very world they live in right now, the world they call home... they were sure you were by their side, making them make the right decisions and the right thing. aventurine? oh, the amount of MONEY he will spend buying everything he thinks you'd like, the fanciest, most elegant and most expensive shoes, clothing and accessories. he would rent out an entire week or months of work at a restaurant if you'd like to dine alone or with a couple of people. he knows his luck is a part of him, he can only pray that he'll meet you first with his luck.

sunday... just the sound of your name makes him tear up. he could've sworn that one time you spoke to him, your other-worldly echoing voice speaking to him directly about the loss of his dear sister. and here he stood in his room, looking out the window, and in the far distant a light shimmering as it swiftly dived down. a shooting star. he knows that with everyone getting the news they're all aiming to be the first to meet you, and trust me, he does want to meet you FIRST. the second you land he'll be there right with you and guiding you to safety—penacony.

but first, he must pinpoint where exactly you'll land. and with his power and influence he will most definitely try his best to find you and be sure to hide you from everyone else... he needs you, desperately.

gallagher and boothill have exactly the same thoughts. to present themselves good to you and spend every minute and second with you. but with everyone gossiping and spreading rumours about your arrival it's hard to be unique. everyone wants to be with you, everyone wants your favour. but they could never worship you as much as them. they had dreamed of this moment, it seemed unreal to meet their own creator but nonetheless, they clung to their hope and boy did it not go to waste.

boothill basically pauses any mission he needs to complete, that can wait. you are eternal. he's practically on edge with the fact that at any moment the comet would crash through and there you'd be, dozing peacefully.. like an angel. he won't hesitate to cause some trouble or initiate some violence if it means that they don't get to see you first.

gallagher on the other hand tries to stay hidden and in the shadows. of course, he'd like to meet you face to face but with the feeling of an overwhelming and looming divine presence, it's all too much. and if that's too much then what would he feel when you stand right before him? he's like an overprotective dog, fiercely loyal and clingy. even if you can't spot him he'll be right there, lurking and watching.

dr. ratio and argenti are absolutely and 100% loyal and would do EVERYTHING in their power to meet you, even a glance would do, anything to feed their curiosity and desperate need to know the creator. so when they get wind that you were supposedly descending down... they freeze on the spot, their breath hitches as their eyes widen. could it really be?

dr. ratio was always a curious boy, and he has you to thank for giving him consciousness and the opportunities to venture out and earn knowledge and eventually spreading his knowledge to his students (preaching i guess you can say). he's a bit biased when it comes to talking about you to his friends or students, and speaking your name in a more positive light, not that anyone minds, if anything they agree!

although he isn't much of a gifter or "i'll spend my money on you" he's more of a "anything you want just tell me". if you told him to drop his precious books to come and tend to your needs he would do it in a heartbeat.

to argenti you are the standard and epitome of "beauty". the beauty he has been searching for his entire life. he intends to shower you with compliments and roses freshly picked by hand unless you're allergic or not a fan of flowers, fear not! compliments should do! be ready to be bombarded with such positivity, compliments and gifts from the knight of beauty.

anything you wish for he will try his utmost best to get it done perfectly and quickly. "your hair looks so pretty like this..." say no more, he will always style it and keep it exactly like that! "my feet feel so sore from all the walking" ?!!? why is his dear walking anyway!?!? don't worry, he'll massage it for you! "ugh all this work is making me tired" move aside, let him do the honours!!

It was a long ride home from work, you were currently in an almost empty bus, glancing over the top of your phone you read the time. 11 P.M.

Was it that late already? You knew this office job would be the death of you. You never wanted to work at a place like this, the cubicle life bored you and it was just so... depressing. That was the only way to describe it.

You decide to pass the time by playing your all-time favourite game: Honkai: Star Rail. The soft glow of the screen illuminated your face as you began to grind relics and exp for an upcoming character. It definitely worked in keeping you busy and awake as time passed by slowly.

All was well, everything was fine. You had everything planned in your head. Get home as soon as possible, take a nice warm and rejuvenating shower, get five hours of sleep, go back to work and repeat.

The more you thought about your daily routine the more you realised how depressing it was, but what could you do? That job was the only one that was hiring and had average pay and things like that are rare, especially when you decided to live in the city which was your first mistake.

You were barely getting by in the city, the crime rate increased, there were more breaks in, pickpocketing and murder. But despite all of that you decided to rent an apartment where it was less populated, the rent in the heart of the city was way too high.

Pushing all those thoughts and information aside you let out a defeated sigh, leaning your head on the window as you continued to tap away on your phone.

If only life went just a little bit easier on you.

Everything was fine. The silence was comfortable and the low, soft rumble of the engine kept you awake, until a loud deafening crash jolted the bus, sending people flying and falling onto the ground.

Letting out a scream you grabbed onto whatever you could to keep you steady—the head of the chair in front of you. Although it didn't do a good job of keeping you still you couldn't care less, because as you lifted your head, your eyes caught something massive charging straight at you, and before you could react, a blinding light engulfed you, followed by an eerie silence.

When you regained consciousness, you found yourself tightly packed against something dark and rocky. Just great! Something had happened to the bus and knocked you out.

You looked around, it was pure blackness, like a void. Maybe this was what happened after death... Out of all things and especially the time too!

Feeling confused and scared you try to move your body to shift into a more comfortable position but due to the lack of space, you could barely even move an inch.

Suddenly, a crack was heard. And you froze.

Then another crack, and another, the darkness began to crack and splinter and not long after half of the egg-shaped looking ball broke in half as it fell to the side.

Shards of obsidian-like material fractured and scattered around. A large amount of dust, and shiny glitter-like specs flew everywhere, it was extremely dusty.

Unfortunately, you inhaled the smoke, coughing and sputtering, you waved their hand in front of your face, trying to dispel the particles as you squinted against the harsh light that slipped through the smoke.

As the dust settled and the steam dissipated, your surroundings gradually came into focus. You found yourself in front of... one, two, three, four, and... five.... wait.. what?

Right before you stood four male figures (with the other seemed to have a more feminine build), male figures that looked awfully familiar to you for some odd reason, just why was that?

You were confused and curious as you surveyed your surroundings, realizing that maybe this was death? You would've never guessed that "life" after death would look like this. It was very.... interesting.

The buildings that surrounded you were intricate and otherworldly. Dazzling celestial landscapes and luminescent structures piqued your interest as you slowly and carefully stepped out of what you assumed was a shell.

Its' architect and infrastructure reminded you of something, it seemed nostalgic—as if you've seen this exact building before. The more you observed and watched, your eyes tracing every precise curve and detail of the buildings your heart began to pick up its pace.

Your eyes searched every corner and inch, and finally, it landed back on the five figures you had spotted before and it wasn't until you caught sight of familiar faces that you were certain that you had to be hallucinating somehow after death.

There, standing in a circle, were figures that you could hardly believe were real: Caelus, Dan Heng, Gepard, and Bronya. It was unmistakably them.

Their presence, their unmistakable aura of reverence, left you no doubt.

They watched you, their gazes filled with awe and admiration as if you were the embodiment of some long-awaited prophecy (and in this case, it was).

You were in disbelief. Disbelief that you had somehow been transported into the very game they were playing moments ago, but now they were tangible, real.

It was a long silence, it was both comfortable and uncomfortable with their longing gaze. You remained still as you checked around your surroundings once again before settling your eyes back on the group of people.

At your gaze they felt a shiver down their spine, and the hair on their skin stood up.

"W—Who are you guys?!" You yelled, narrowing your eyes to see if it was truly the characters from the game you adored.

Dan Heng's breath hitched at the sound of your booming voice, your voice... it was just like how they described what you would sound like in the carved stones and ancient scrolls.

The more he stared at you the more he wanted to come to you, to kneel down at your feet and profess how long he has been waiting for this moment.

With his eyes trained on your figure, he steps closer, Gepard notices and swiftly stops him from moving any further with his arm. Dan Heng looks to his side, confusion strewn on his face.

Not a single word was spoken yet with a stern gaze and the shake of a head, Dan Heng understood. Now was not the right time.

Minutes passed by in complete and utter silence, it unnerved you. Why were they so quiet? So watchful?

Finally, after what felt like hours, the silence was broken just with a couple words.

"We have been awaiting your arrival, Your Gracefulness."

note: after 5 months WOW. i've been so busy with things i haven't had the time to really sit down and work. I'm so sorry everyone!

tags 🏷️: @tomansimp @one-offmind @miitchiji @dainsleif-when-playable @momoewn @stygianoir @irethepotato @imetsk @fiannee @sunnyf4lls @goldenglow149 @rhwm @urlocalheizousimp @saltylovetale-blog @toramune @oreo-ren @backintomykpopphaseagain @serenity-loves-red @flooofity @minteasketches @yurassia @chellazhef @fulldoves @kateybuggi @wanderingconstellations @mini-shower @160ccm @rosariashield @sickize @sarah22447 @dreamlessnight @gimmealmap @bebeluvs @caramelstarlight @sukiidreams @oceanist @achy-boo @alhaitie @dilucragnvindr-my-beloved @that-mom-friend @v-ish @merormerry @gojoulen03 @scarletttcrow @hadischara @kithewanderingme @keiqq @livelaughlovekuni @chirikoheina @wr1t3rfum1k0 @issacdaholi @yu-ulda @alysinbshsu @vanilla-sweets @your-local-reblogging-kazoo @be-gay-do-crime-ahaha @seipaws @clavichordcleffa @uhhhiwassup @youdontneedyoknowlol @the-lazy-perfectionist @issacdarknight @lucienbarkbark @bizzybkd @obliviousariies2007 @coffee-seed

(if the usernames aren’t highlighted that’s because I can’t tag you so I’ll dm you when I post a new chapter! if i forgot to tag you im so sorry!)

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liking + following + reblogs are greatly appreciated!!!

[grubus]

hmmm stalker aus...

TGCF: I think Xie Lian would very quickly realize he has a stalker. He has had a stalker before! Three times, even, though the other two were small ones compared to the big first one. He is, one might say, experienced in being stalked. However unlike the previous ones, this stalker is kind of.... nice.... kind of. Fun. Yes he keeps popping up where he shouldn't and Xie Lian definitely saw his own picture in the guy's wallet that one time, but he's very NICE and POLITE and honestly, the attention is nice. This is a good stalker. Xie Lian will lean into it to the horror of all his close ones. Xie Lian will encourage the stalker to stalk and meanwhile Hua Cheng thinks he's winning the Best Courtship Award, not knowing anyone more sane would have called the cops.

MDZS: Wei Wuxian would see Lan Wangji staring weirdly and acting weirdly one too many times and decide the man is stalking him. What a shame! He's so beautiful! Beautiful men aren't meant to be stalkers! Wei Wuxian's immediate decision to stalk right back is questionable at best and mostly impulsive. Several months after they end up together, it turns out Lan Wangji recognized Wei Ying from a Missing Child Poster and also from meeting as little kids, and all that staring was him trying to figure out if the Jiang family kidnapped him as a child. When Wei Ying decided to stalk him, Lan Wangji just thought the guy recognized him in turn and wanted to rekindle their childhood friendship.

SVSSS: Shen Yuan is not gay. He's not gay. However, lately, he keeps running into the most beautiful, handsome, gorgeous, hot, THE most perfect man he has ever SEEN. The guy is so charming and sweet and clearly having a rough time lately, CLEARLY he needs some support! Some encouragement! So what if Shen Yuan decides to dig up everything he can on the guy? That's normal! The dude seems to be HOMELESS, he needs help! Shen Yuan just needs all this information to make sure he can get Binghe the most fitting, best job. And besides, clearly they're meant to be (platonic) if they keep running into each other. He's so proud he made a friend and he's so proud he can help said friend. He ignores all the attic wife jokes from Airplane. There is nothing wrong with enjoying cleaning and cooking, dude! Binghe is very masculine. And he can leave whenever he wants!

Meanwhile Binghe, who knows stalking is bad but can't help it, can't help make sure to run into Shen Yuan every chance he gets, or memorize all that he likes and dislikes and- well, it's fine! Because it turns out that when he finally moves in with Shen Yuan, his boyfriend ALSO stalked him! Not that Shen Yuan will admit it, but Binghe sees the conspiracy board with all his info carefully mapped out, and he knows that his precious A-Yuan stalked him right back, doing it the digital way instead of on foot, like Binghe did.

It's very flattering.

[rafesslxt]

Hey!

I love your writing so much, and was wondering if you could write some smut/fluff of Matteo x first time reader where he talks the reader through it. Apart from that you can get creative with it too

Thank you ❤️🙏

thank u very much, i‘m always happy to hear that! 🫶🏻i hope u like this one too <3

🍒 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 | 𝐦.𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞

nsfw content | mattheo riddle x fem reader

aesthetic: 🕯️🥀🍒💋🍂

「 ✦ You tell Mattheo you're ready for your first time with him and he makes it as perfect as possible and talks you through it. ✦ 」

warnings: fluff, sensual smut, virgin!reader, reader‘s first time, experienced Mattheo, kissing, making out, fingering, nipple play, Mattheo talking reader through it, oral (on fem), mattheo masturbating while eating reader out, p in v protected, dirty talk, reader takes protection, aftercare

note: this is the first time that I write more softish smut and also readers first time + English is not my first language

words: 2,9k

When you told Mattheo you're finally ready to sleep with him, he was confused, happy and then confused again. Why in hell would she want me? That's a question he had in mind since the first time you laid eyes on him. Then, he was so happy that you trusted him enough to let him be your first. After all the euphoria, he was confused again. He needed to do this right. So how should he approach the situation?

It was a rainy day in the middle of September. Still pretty warm outside throughout the day but the temperature fell fast as soon as the sun was gone. While you were gone with some friends, Mattheo had prepared his room for the night. He wanted it to be literally perfect.

He told Draco who he shared a dorm with to sleep at Pansy's, your roommate. Then he cleaned everything from top to bottom, so not even a crumb of dirt was left on the floor.

At first he wanted to organize new sheets but remembered your words one time, telling him that you loved the smell of him in his bed and on his clothes. So he let them be for more comfort.

Next thing were candles. A lot of candles. He bought so many that every surface was covered in them for the romantic light. He also got you your favorite flowers, and some rose petals for the floor when you would walk inside the room.

It was perfect, only one thing missing. You.

Mattheo sat on the edge of his bed, nervous like hell. He had everything planned out. How he would touch you, what he would say to you too, to calm your nerves. His knee bounced up and down, his gaze falling to the clock on the wall and outside the window. Maybe he would catch a glimpse of your pretty hair so he would know you're almost there.

His door opened and his head snapped into it's direction. Your whole face lit up when you saw all the candles and rose petals on the floor. "Hey princess." he greets you with a soft voice and walks over to you, pulling you against his body. "What's all this for?" you asked with a shy smile, knowing exactly what is was for and excitement bubbled up in your chest.

"I want it to be special for you and not just like a random night." "It's never a random night with you, Mattheo." He smirks at your comment and raises his eyebrows. "Hey, aren't I supposed to make all these cute and cheesy comments?"

You start giggling and kiss his cheek in a loving way. He smiles down at you, helping you take off your jacket, putting it over the chair in front of his desk with your flowers on it.

"Oh Mattheo, you didn‘t have to!" you melt away when you see your favorite flowers. You turn your head up to him when he suddenly stands behind you again, his arms around your waist.

"Everything for you." he whispers into your ear, giving it a soft kiss. You turn around in his grip and swing your arms around his neck, kissing him with every ounce of love you had. His hands start to roam all over your body, one stroking your back while the other slides up and down your sides before it finds it's way under your hoodie and shirt, touching your bare skin beneath it.

Your cheeks start to heat up, knowing what's going to happen. It feels exciting and scary at the same time, but you are so grateful that it is Mattheo.

"I love you, princess. You know that, right?" Mattheo whispers against your lips, lowering his head. "I know, that's why I want it to be with you. Because I love you too." He smiles brightly at your words, putting both hands on your cheeks now and pulling you closer, kissing you passionate.

He takes his time with you, no matter what. He slowly takes off your hoodie, kisses you slowly at first, carefully walks you to his bed with his lips still on yours and pushes you back onto his bed.

"If you change your mind or you don't like something, feel uncomfortable, anything.. you tell me, okay princess?" he breathes against your lips, climbing over you. Even tho you can't imagine that he could do anything you don't like, you nod your head, telling him you understood.

You trust him with your whole heart and know he would do anything for you and never put you in an uncomfortable position. His hands wander under your shirt, feeling the warm skin under it and the goosebumps that form on it. "Love your skin, always so soft." he smiles at you, lifting up your shirt to cover your stomach in soft but hot kisses.

You bite your lip, your skin already burning with desire when you feel his soft lips leaving wet kisses all over your body. His hands push your shirt further up until it hangs around your chest and neck. "So beautiful." he whispers against your flushed skin, kissing further up to your breasts. His fingers open your bra in a quick and sly way so you don't even notice until the air around you hits your nipples.

"How do you feel?" he whispers, looking up at you. Your eyes are closed and your head relaxed on his soft pillow. "Good.. really good." you breath out, enjoying the new feeling of him so near.

He kisses his way up to your left boob, kissing around your nipple but not touching it while his hand massaged your right one. You buck your hips up against his body which makes him smile even more. "Hmm what's wrong princess?" "Can you please touch me?" you whine, eyes still closed.

"But I already am touching you, baby." "Mattheooo.." you whine again and drag his name out. He chuckles and shakes his head. "Alright but only because it's your first time." He comes up next to your ear and kisses it before whispering again, " Next time I'm gonna make you beg so much for my touch." You gasp and open your eyes to look at him, seeing his mischievous grin on his lips.

You gulp, thinking about how you never thought about what version of Mattheo you would get while having sex with him.

"Don't worry baby, it's all about you this time." he kisses your ear again, going down again to take your left nipple into his mouth. A soft whimper leaves your lips, going straight to Mattheo's ears and already hard cock. He starts to softly kiss it and kitten lick it with his tongue for a while before he sucked on it and scrapes his teeth against them.

Meanwhile he plays with your other one with his fingers. Your nipple squeezed between his thumb and middle finger, his index finger rubs over it in the same rhythm like his tongue.

He already has you wrapped around his fingers with basically no effort. You clench your thighs together, moaning into the air when your nipples start to get more and more sensitive to his touch. From time to time he would switch and suck on your right one, playing with your left between his fingers.

Your hands are already in his soft brown curls, tugging on them when it felt almost too good.

You feel his hand letting go of your nipple and gliding over your body, down towards your pussy. He opens your jeans with one hand, puling them down slowly, tugging on them slightly until you lift your hips to help him, all while he still nibbled on your other nipple.

When he has your jeans pulled down completely, he let his fingers ghost over your underwear, feeling they're already wet. He bites your nipple softly at the feeling, remembering himself to calm down before he loses his mind.

He pulls your underwear to the side, two fingers cautiously dipping between your wet folds. He groans against your skin and looked down to his fingers. "Fuck baby you're soaked. Does my mouth feel that good?" Your cheeks blush at his words, trying to hide them behind your hands which made him let out a soft deep laugh.

"Don't hide baby, it's fucking hot." he looks down again and brushes his fingers over your throbbing clit, making you yelp in a needy tone. "I'm gonna eat you out and prepare you a little, is that alright sweetheart?" he asks in a soft voice. You nod eagerly, making him smirk again.

He let go of you for a short moment to stand up and pull you towards the end of his bed. He spreads your legs and goes down on his knees in front of the bed. Your breathing gets heavier and your brain more nervous than ever. Out of a reflex and shyness your try to push your legs back together but he grips your thighs and pulls them back.

"You've got the prettiest pussy ever baby, I swear. Don't hide from me." You gulp and nod, letting him. He puts your legs over his shoulders, supporting your thighs with his hands, pushing them up slightly, his face now right in front of you.

He gently laps at your clit, looking up to search for a reaction from you. A shaky breath leaves your lips before you buck up your hips. He starts going a little faster, sucking at your folds while his thumb circles your clit. Your hands find his hair again, pulling him closer every time his tongue got faster.

He groans into your pussy and grinds his throbbing cock against the bed. You hear a growl and a deep breath coming from his throat and shoot your head up, looking at him worried. "What's wrong?" "Nothing babygirl, I just really have to hold back to not fuck you senseless with my tongue." He moves his finger faster, letting you feel a deep coiling in your abdomen. "You taste so fucking sweet, shit."

He let's go of one of your thighs and unbuckles his belt, pulling down his zipper and pushing down his pants. He lets out a deep breath again when he finally feels free and without his tight jeans around his hips. He let's his hand wander over his boxer shorts and palms himself through it, grunting into you while his tongue starts fucking your tight hole.

"Oh, Mattheo.. it feels so good." you moan with your eyes closed, completely obvious to where his hand did go. The feeling of his tongue inside you is strange at first but still feels good in combination with his thumb massaging your clit.

He groans against you again when his hand dips into his boxer shorts and pumps his cock up and down, pre-cum already forming on the tip.

He lets go of your clit and replaces his thumb with his mouth who sucks on your little bud now, making you arch your back and moan his name. Gently he enters your hole with one finger, testing the waters on how tight you are. He slowly pumps his finger in and out, adding a second after a few minutes.

"How does it feel?" he asks you, wanting to know if it hurt or felt uncomfortable. "It - It's new but.. it's good." you struggle, your breathing heavier than before.

Mattheo really did his best but at some point he couldn't handle it anymore and let go of his cock and backed away from your pussy.

"I'm sorry baby but I have to feel you." he got back up on the bed and pushes you more up so there is enough room for the both of you. He pulls his shirt over his head and kisses your neck. You look down at him, just now realizing he was naked too, your cheeks blushing when you see how big he was.

"Don't worry 'bout it, it will fit." he grins and reaches out towards his drawer but you stop him. "We don't need it, I'm taking potion since a few months." He raises his eyebrows at you, his cock twitching at the thought of feeling you raw. "Are you sure baby?" " A hundred percent."

He gulps and kisses you passionate, tugging at your bottom lip with his teeth. He grabs his shaft and runs his tip through your folds, teasing your clit a little bit. "I want you Mattheo.. please.." your begging makes it just sweeter for him. "You're really testing me baby." he breaths out and nods. Slowly and carefully he starts to push his fat tip against your entrance, pushing and pushing until his tip was in.

You both let out a moan at the same time. "You're already so big." "You're already so fucking tight around me." He watches your face for any sort of pain or discomfort but sees nothing, so he pushes forward again until you knit your brows together in pain. He immediately stopped and kissed you. "It's okay, don't stop." you whisper against his lips. "Are you sure? I don't wanna hurt you." he sighs when his hand strokes your cheek lovingly.

"It's gonna hurt anyway, just go slowly but don't stop." you whisper back, kissing his lips. He takes a deep breath before pushing his hips further towards you, but slowly like you asked him to. "You're doing o good baby, you're doing great." he kisses your forehead, not stopping tho. He feels your hands and nails gripping into his back when he is in to the half of his length.

"I'm already half in princess. You feel so good, shit." Even tho it hurts, it feels good too. Not in a stimulating way but it feels good to have him so close to you and feel his skin against yours.

A chuckle leaves your lips when he cursed, feeling a bit proud that you make him feel like that. "We're not even fucking right and your pussy already drives me crazy." he purrs into your ear, making you smile.

He pushes in again, this time a bit faster but still slow. A moan leaves your lips, feeling so full of him. "Tell me when I can move, baby." he groans, trying his best to stay still between your legs but your tight cunt squeezes him so good it is almost impossible not to.

"Move, move please." He bites his lip at your words and slowly starts to move in and out. He watches your face going from pain to your eyes rolling back and your mouth opening when a broken moan leaves your lips.

Mattheo starts moving a bit faster, gripping your hips with both his hands. "F-faster. Hmm Mattheo faster, please." "Shit.." his hips snap forward, bottoming you out completely. "God, your pussy is gripping me so tight baby, you're practically milking me at this point."

He starts to fuck you into his mattress, going harder and faster with time. "You're such a little slut for me, hm? Feeling my cock deep inside you, right baby? Just like that?" he says, hitting your g spots deliciously. Your eyes widen to the new feeling. "Oh my god, again, please do that again.

Sweat starts forming on his forehead, his smile turning smug when you start begging him again. He hits the same spot over and over again. Your walls clench around him, your back arched and a broken sob comes out of your throat. "Fuck yes!" you whine, digging your nails deeper into his skin, leaving marks all over him.

"Hm yes baby, mark me the fuck up so everyone knows I'm fucking yours." he grumbles at the feeling.

"I'm so close Mattheo, please let me come, please." " Fuck where did you lean to beg like that baby?" he groans back and moves his hand down to your sensitive nub, rubbing circles on it with his thumb.

"Cum for me baby, let go for me. Cum on my cock." His breathing gets heavy too and your clenching sends him spiraling. With a few last thrusts he sends you over the edge, feeling your walls massage his cock even harder.

"Fuck baby, I'm gonna cum. Where –" "Cum inside me." His eyes shoot open and look at your face. You're laying there, ginning up at him knowing it would drive him nuts. "Fuckk.. " a final thrust is enough for him to pump his cum into you. You bite your bottom lip at the feeling and kiss him deeply, your tongue licking over his lips.

"Kiss me like that again and I'm gonna fuck you stupid, princess." he groans against your lips, half joking half telling the truth. "Let me rest, Riddle." you giggle at his words.

He slowly pulls out of you and stands up. He gets a few tissues and gets between your legs, cleaning you up and leaving a few gentle kisses here and there.

He throws them away and pulls the blanket over the both of you, pulling you into his arms. "Thank you for trusting me to be your first." he whispers into your ear, kissing it softly. "It was perfect Mattheo, I wouldn't want anybody else as my first. I love you." he smiles down at you, cupping your face before kissing you. "I love you too, sweetheart."

i hope you liked it cause like I said it was the first time for me writing about vigrin reader and her first time with someone.

I tried to think about my first time so please don‘t forget its different for everybody and i also can‘t write about sex and blood in combination so sorry if its unrealistic because of that for some of you but tbh when i had my first time there was almost no pain and also just a few drops of blood. So please think about that fact too <3

Taglist:

@justarandomcanadiantransdude @helendeath @thatonepansexual2000 @imabee-oralizard @supernaturaldawning @cardi-bre91 @brodiedoesthings @gxdsfavgal @synicaljah @yourenogoodforme @sofa-couch26 @little-miss-naill @kolsangel @auxcordlawd @itsarajr @jolly4holly @hisparentsgallerryy @slytherinscreamqueen @mixvchelle @littlemadamred @ummmmmmm-username @jeannie-beannie @belle-blue @beautywine @sagetakami @simp-for-fantasy @whyamireadingthis @i-like-pandas5 @jordynhartley2001 @your-local-simp26 @sarisabully @romantasyreader28 @whiteboylover222 @giasus- @batsching @themissingweasley26 @lucygoosylu

@siriusblackslefttoenail 🩷🩷

xoxo sarah <3

[lyss-sketchbox]

do you have like,, any wriolette headcanons to share,, please I’m hungry,, I need wriolette food!!

Oh definitely, some of these are more wrio or neuvi specific tho but let me go off ok

Wrio has this one spot a lil far off from Meropide's entrance that he sunbathes in whenever he has the time. Its this lil cliff right here. It has a long stretch of beach, near the otter spot (TM), there's mobs to fight if he needs that, and it's not near any roads

Perfect spot for him to frostwalker/ice skate too

Neuv in one of his walks would find Wrio in his spot and Wrio would tell him this is where he goes to relax, Neuv would sometimes then use this spot too to relax in, Wrio welcomes him whenever they happen to meet here

I think Wrio never goes to the overworld until he is called in for that first meeting as Meropide's administrator, when he does step out he underestimated how much he truly missed the sunlight, the sea breeze, and the grass. It's not a big deal, he insists

Wrio would prefer sunny weather than rain, but the coldness of rain is more lively and refreshing than the cold of the fortress

Neuv can walk on water Furina style, he just chooses not to say whenever Wrio offers to skate with him. Basks in the feeling that he trusts Wrio so much to keep him from falling in

Neuvillette is a pianist while Wrio is a violinist (and does have a violin in his office) because every pairing in my book should be able to piano-violin duet the Merry-Go-Round of Life

Wrio is extremely observant, a skill he picked up from serving his sentence, it's how he's able to study and read Neuvi's tells and body language. It's very helpful whenever neuvi is too tired to talk or unable to drop the professional iudex face.

Neuvi learns by observation and attempts to pick up Wrio's tells in turn no matter how many times Wrio insists that he shouldn't worry about him <- fuck you gets loved back

Whenever they get engaged/married, their rings are simple white gold bands. Wrio replaces one of his rings with it, while Neuvi has his hooked to his cravat pin. It's so they're not too flashy and attract attention while still being with them even in work hours

Neuvi feels over the ring whenever he misses wrio

Wrio buries his face into Neuvi's neck so that he can hear Neuvi's purr of contentment better

Neuvi can get jealous but instead of cutting the convo short like Wrio does, the next time they are alone Neuvi just rubs his cheek all over Wrio's until he's happy

Wrio is touch averse, significantly more than Neuvi. While he and Neuvi had subtle touches before, getting together had pressured him to show more affection (because it doesnt bother him, he can love, so that he can be loved) Its one of the first times Neuvi was able to tell Wrio's tells correctly and to reassure him it isn't necessary and they can begin with... what they had before

They show affection primarily with holding or touching hands (ex. : holding hands when they sleep like otters, brushing knuckles and fingers when they walk, Wrio lifting neuvs hand to bury his face in it, etc.), a reassurance that the other is there with them, and they want to hold on just as much

[ccfever]

Why do you support someone who gives no fucks about black woman who are just trying to have fun playing basketball. Cc has white privilege and I assume you do too

lmfaooooooo i’m not white and i don’t even live in the USA. caitlin has credited many black women for paving the way for her to be able to be in the position she’s in right now. difference is she mentions them by name. her basketball hero is literally maya moore. she went on national television and paid tribute to sheryl swoopes, lisa leslie, dawn staley, and maya moore for breaking barriers and being icons in women’s sports. she continuously, on record, have said that the wnba have many women in the league who are deserving of recognition and praise, and she has never took any credit for any of the growth happening in women’s basketball right now. i’d link you all these statements, but i have a life and don’t have the time.

asked about the fever’s first charter flight: i think it will be better if everyone has it, the product on the floor will only be better.

not once did she ever make that about herself.

she defended angel reese after the backlash from the 2023 championship game.

she defended chennedy carter and said the flagrant foul only happened because of competitiveness, and praised her for having a good season.

she denounced the racist and misogynistic people who are using her as a proxy for their agendas. i understand that she is not the most vocal player when it comes to social justice issues. does that immediately make her a racist person? why?

she’s never presented herself as a spokesperson, and to be quite honest with you, it would do everyone good if people stopped banging on caitlin clark’s proverbial door demanding statements and speeches, and start LISTENING to the many women in the wnba who are actually VOCAL, and have EXPERIENCED being marginalized. lift up and shine light on these women.

she has never done anything wrong herself, but you label her as a racist person. that’s disgusting to me because there are actual racist people out there. the chicago tribune editorial team. freaks on the internet. they’re everywhere and they’re the ones being racist but they don’t get any substantial pushback because caitlin clark is the one who takes the heat.

not gonna lie, you calling me a white person offended me in levels you cannot imagine. my country was colonized by americans, we are still suffering from the effects of everything done to us by predominantly white countries. i have a bias towards white people – i don’t tend to like them, especially if they’re not self aware.

you accusing me of having white privilege when you don’t even know who i am is rich. you don’t know me, and you don’t know what i see everyday. i live in literal hell. block me and move on with your life. this isn’t a fight you want to pick.

edit: it’s okay not to like her. it’s okay to feel like she isn’t doing enough. it’s okay to stop supporting her because of that. but being so extreme and calling her a racist person is unreasonable. and calling me racist and white? that’s just stupid. have some nuance.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

May I request some full HCs of the M6 with an ex coliseum fighter MC?

The Arcana HCs: M6 with an ex-Coliseum fighter MC

Julian

His first thought when he laid eyes on you after he broke into your shop was "wow, they must have some stories to tell!"

Oddly enough, the physical (and mental/emotional) scars you carry from your time in the Coliseum are big reasons for why he chooses to trust you - and, eventually to cherish you. You've been through it

As someone who's had quite the wild life himself, he can trust you to understand how difficult experiences do and don't define who you are. He knows if he talks about life with pirates, you'll get it

If it's his turn to have a nightmare, he doesn't have to worry that talking about his bad dreams will expose you to new horrors. If it's your turn, he's a light sleeper for good reasons

Tends to pry for stories about your time there, but in a good way that pushes you to process what it was like

Checked over all the scars you accumulated there and regularly asks after any lingering chronic pain from the injuries

Once he's gotten past the initial flirtatious comments and the awkwardness of opening up, he'd be lying if he doesn't find the scars and background very attractive. Rough him up anytime ~

Asra

They're in two minds about the whole situation and they're not totally sure how to proceed with it when discomfort isn't their thing

He's glad you're not there anymore. He often wonders if you coming back without memories was actually a merciful thing, if it meant not remembering the details of your trauma

They hate seeing all the marks of pain and violence on your body, because it's like a reminder to them of one of the many ways they somehow let you down or left you alone when you needed help

Deep down, however, it's beyond comforting to him to know what you're capable of surviving without help, because he knows he can't always be there for you no matter how hard he tries

They know that if you're ever in a situation again where your life is threatened, you'll fight viciously to preserve it. They hate that you experienced it and hope you never will again, but they're relieved

All that to say, he doesn't know how to talk about it and he's not going to broach the subject unless you do

Still committed to loving you and being open with you. They know you, they know you're good, and they want you to know them too

Nadia

When she first met you, she assumed the scars must have come from fighting in a war. The Coliseum didn't occur to her

She doesn't even have the clearest memories of it, since she only really saw it after being married to the man who instated it. That doesn't stop her from feeling immensely guilty about it

This happened to you while she had the power to push back against it, and she didn't. There was so much going wrong that she never addressed because she was holed up in her tower, hiding

That only spurs her to try to make things right. You do receive a halting but heartfelt apology from her early on, and a respectful invitation to share your experience with her at your comfort

Just as you've helped her to move on and recover, she wants to do the same for you. You have a powerful skill set. To the extent that you're willing to, she'd love to see you put it to noble use

How do you feel about teaching martial arts? She'll put you in touch with Nahara, and will help you fund a teaching studio for anyone who could use the coaching

Or you could be her personal bodyguard ...

Muriel

More than anything, he's just relieved he never had to kill you. He already has so much regret to live with, and the thought of ending the person who would've made life good again is horrific

That doesn't make you easy to be around at first. Everything about you brings back the memories he wants to leave behind

The scars that match his, the way you react to movement, even the way you walk to compensate for the drag of chains you don't wear anymore. You're the un-hateable mirror of everything that hurts

And that's just after the first few days. Truthfully, you scare him, and even after building a new life with you there are still moments when being perceived by you terrifies him, because you get him

You don't need words or confessions to understand the hell that's shaped him so profoundly. And even when he can't stand to carry someone else's pain on top of his own, he still understands yours

It's precisely that forced vulnerability that makes loving you so profoundly healing. He loves you for you, he loves you for the pain you've experienced, and since it's the same as his own, he's learning to love himself begrudgingly in the process

Portia

Not put off by you at all, which is extremely rare for you

She finds it attractive if anything. You look like someone who's really lived. You look like someone who gives as good as they get

It makes her a little uncomfortable to be around at first. She's so quickly caught up in the coolness and excitement of your violent past that she can get borderline insensitive with her questions

What's it like to be in a fight? Who's the biggest person you fought? Did you really have to kill all of your opponents? How many did you kill? Was there a lot of blood? What weapons did you use?

Does a complete 180 the first time she sees the emotional and mental toll it's taken on you. She's so empathetic, it takes all of five seconds for her to understand this is trauma before she's weeping

So very happy to be your anchor and grounding presence. She will hold you and grieve with you and never, ever, ever look at you differently for what you were a part of. You're not scary to her

Almost overprotective when it comes to how other people perceive you. Someone's acting like you're the scariest person in the room and making you uncomfortable? She's about to prove them wrong

Lucio

After spending three years as a goat ghost, he doesn't care who you are, just talk to him - oh, his survival depends on your good graces? And he had you stuck as a Coliseum fighter? Hmmm

Tried to hide it, but he was scared at first. He was smart enough to know that you had good reason to dislike him, and therefore plenty of reason to further mess him up in such a vulnerable state

But you didn't. Which made him confused. And curious

Tell him about your time there, then! What was it like being in the ring? Being a participant in his favorite fight of yours?

Oh. Oh, it was that bad? ..... oh.

He carries guilt for every painful repercussion you experience. It was shame, and now it looks more like remorseful responsibility, but he doesn't need it rubbed in his face to know it was wrong

What he also knows is a valuable lesson you taught him, which is both the importance and possibility of making things right

You will never have a nightmare he won't be ready to comfort you for. You will never have an injury he won't be getting his clothes dirty for treating it. You will always, always have him by your side

[tokutaiseichan]

I’ve pointed this out before but so far, Hotarubi is the only chapter where a Like Dove never made any appearances. Thanks to Taiga, we know that Like Dove is probably some kind of a spying device and everything points to the possibility that its duty is to monitor missions involving ghouls.

Yet it never made an appearance during the course of Hotarubi’s mission. Why is that? At first, I thought it’s perhaps because Taiga had killed and eaten the one that appeared during the Sinostra chapter. In the first place, we never found out if there are more than one Like Dove. It’s an anomaly—and a rare one at that. It might be the only one or maybe not.

But then I started thinking: what if the reason a Like Dove didn’t appear to monitor the ghouls’ mission this time is because they already have an “Insider” involved in the mission?

Zenji is automatically out. My man’s dead and Darkwick doesn't even know his ghost is still wandering around. Subaru? Makes sense since he has already lied to everyone before. What’s another secret? But after all that happened at the Ultio prison and considering his personality, I feel like what he confessed that time was everything he was involved with. Subaru’s awful at lying and hiding things, if he’s the spy he’d be a bit more obvious and feel even more guilty. So hmm… I wonder who we’re left with……

Remember how during that one time MC was trying to escape again, Haku was the one who just conveniently showed up and successfully convinced her to not defy Darkwick anymore?

Sure, we can see it as simply a considerate gesture of a senior looking after his anxious junior. Especially when it's so blatantly implied later that he had experienced the consequences of going against the rules. Still, the timing is just… too perfect…

MC trying to escape → Bumped into Rui who's about to head to a mission → Haku suddenly appeared (Rui: “But Moby said no one usually rides around this time of the day~”) → Haku scolded both MC & Rui一brought up the clause of disciplinary actions if one were to do anything funny during missions and reminded Rui of his standing (Haku: “You know it's even worse if you're the one she's with, right?”) → Haku got MC away from Rui → Haku reassured MC and convinced her to stay at Darkwick to break her curse first instead of running away (like what he did before?)

It's almost as if he was purposely sent there for damage control.

“I'll keep this incident a secret from the Academy,” when the reason MC can't even escape in the first place is because Darkwick already knows what she's trying to do? Yeah, right. If you have tried to run away before, you'd know Darkwick has eyes everywhere.

I also found his responses from chapter 2 of his Personal Story rather interesting.

If MC thanked him → “…You shouldn't put too much stock in what I said, you know.” (He acts like the ever dependable and reassuring senior to MC but when she expressed genuine gratitude, he immediately backed off. Does he feel guilty because of how MC seems to always trust his words now? Because he’s keeping something from her?)

If MC shook her head → “Looking at you trying so hard made me realize how underhanded I am.” (Now he just sounds so bitter here…)

There's also the bait and switch with Hotarubi.

During Sinostra, MC found out the existence of a spy among the ghouls. And immediately at Hotarubi early chapters, Moby told her that the Hotarubi ghouls are hiding something. This planted seeds of doubt in MC一she thought one of them might be related to the spy. But at the end of the book, it was… in a way, disproven.

The secret they kept was Zenji's existence一for Haku & Zenji一and Subaru's mission regarding Lyca and his true stigma. This, ironically, leads up to MC being much more determined to trust the ghouls and be more wary about the Academy and Institute一even more than she originally did.

The reason I brought this up? Because the narrative has now painted Hotarubi as the “innocent” house. They made us (both MC & the readers) think how the ghouls over there are just trying their damn best to protect their friends… so that you'd suspect it the least for housing any spy (whom, in Taiga's words, is supposedly trying to screw other ghouls over). They made it seem like Hotarubi must've shown all their cards by now and gave us a sense of… relief? In a way.

(Obviously, there's still the mystery of Haku's dorm transfer. But that's for another day…)

Last but not the least, I'll bring you Haku's last words he told MC before jumping into the fire:

EN: Sorry, I guess I couldn't be the guy you wanted me to be. Ha ha… Don't look like that. Never lost faith in me, did you?

JP: ……すまんね。おまえさんの期待に、応えられんかったわ。はは……そんな顔しなさんな。最後におれを信じてくれて、ありがとね (Direct, almost word-to-word tl: ……Sorry. Looks like I couldn't meet your expectations. Haha…… Don't make that face. Thanks, for trusting me even at the bitter end.)

“Thanks for trusting me to the end,” are you Implying MC has reasons to lose her faith in you, Mister Haku Kusanagi? 🤔🤨

This is probably just me reaching but, has anyone noticed how “trust” seems to be a recurring theme with MC and Haku in particular? “Trust me. You'll be fine here,” and “If you need any help, I'm always happy to lend you a hand,” but also, “Don’t take what I said too seriously.” Which is it???

Anway, since Obscuary is just around the corner, I just wanna say that: 

1) If a Love Dove doesn't appear then it means I'm just looking too much into things and that the reason it doesn't appear is simply because Taiga has killed the one during Sinostra. And everything I wrote up to this point are hogwash.

2) If a Love Dove does appear again, I'll add +1 sus point to Haku.

“Why are you so suspicious of Haku anyway?” Years of watching anime and reading manga/visual novels/etc has taught me that you should always be wary of the sawayaka oniisan type. =w=)b

If you read until this point then thank you for giving my 2 a.m. rambles a chance! But please keep in mind that they don't call me Detective Reaching #2 for nothing. 🤧 For now, I'm going to log off so 🫡 Ciao!

[beomiracles]

Hello Serene! Congratulations on 500 followers, you’ve come a very long way haven’t you? This request is specifically for the 500 bash special and it’s for: Build your own dream

The plot revolves around the theme of IVE’s song “Hypnosis” where the reader (aka female y/n) is a renowned psychologist that specializes in hypnotherapy. One day, she is approached by Beomgyu who suffers from insomnia. Through advanced hypnosis techniques, beomgyu’s insomniac tendencies slowly dwindled down into dreams and as he began to heal, he starts to develop feelings for y/n. Y/n too does find herself increasingly attracted to beomgyu and from there on, their relationship starts to build outside of professional boundaries and in their private times, they would make out

For their make out session, you have free range to do whatever you want with it: smut, suggestive, etc.

🩵🫶🏼

500 BASH SPECIAL

#serene adds ✎... I'm not 100% sure that I captured the idea correct and I got a lil carried away...! but I hope you'll still like it c: ─ I skimmed through it once, does it count as proofreading?

wc -> 2k

pairings beomgyu x hypnotherapist!reader (afab) warnings sensory deprivation, semi-public fingering, slight marking, tiny bit of degrading, tit sucking, no established relationships.

“Mr. Choi”, you mumble without looking up from your papers, “how are you today?” The sound of the door softly shutting behind him fills the quiet room as Beomgyu plops down on the sofa opposite you. “Oh c’mon, doc. You and I both know that we’re past such formalities”, his lips stretch into a grin as he leans back against the soft cushion; propping his arms behind his head, his legs spread in a way that was bound to catch your attention. 

You glance up from your papers, ignoring the heat that rushes to your cheeks as your eyes lock with his. “Right”, you say as you readjust yourself on your own sofa, “how are you today, Beomgyu?” His grin widens at the use of his first name, “well since you ask, I’m delightful.” Giving him a polite smile, you reach for your small notebook in which you kept track of his previous session – and there had been many. You bite your lip as you note how your scribbles had grown sparser with each session; an evident sign to your lack of concentration.

Clearing your throat, you buy yourself some time by keeping your eyes on the few sentences on your current page. “We talked about your dreams last time. Have you been experiencing any more since then?” Beomgyu remains silent for a moment, one of the hands behind his head moves to fiddle with a loose thread of his jeans. Your gaze follows the movement before traveling up his arm, noting that he was wearing a t-shirt that clung to his figure, leaving little to your already wild imagination – you swallow. 

“Yes and no”, he slowly begins as he snaps your attention back to where it should have remained. Internally cursing yourself for your lack of professionalism, you give him an encouraging smile, trying to brush over your small slip up “How so?” you ask as you ready your pencil in order to take notes. Beomgyu gives a small shrug of his shoulders as his eyes remain on the strand of his jeans. “They’re still lucid”, he states and you nod. 

“I can feel everything, hear, and see…I can also touch things, touch people.” He slowly drawls, his gaze unwavering as his fingers twist the small thread. The last part makes you frown as you look up from your notes, “you didn’t mention there being anyone else in your previous session.” The corner of his lip twitches, “that’s right.” – You scribble down the small change before continuing. “So you’re saying that these people started appearing recently?” 

Beomgyu slowly nods. “Do these people hold any significance?” You wonder as you study his unblinking expression, noting the small smirk presented on his lips. “Very much so.” He muses as he looks up from his jeans, immediately his dark eyes find yours and your heart skips a beat. Swallowing a gulp, your gaze quickly drops to the notebook in your lap; your hand moves across the paper as you write down pure nonsense in order to distract yourself. “And are the contents of your dreams the same?” You ask as you recall him telling you about his previous dreams; packed with grief and misery. 

“Certainly not, doc.” He says, his voice lingering with mischief; as if waiting for your next question. – A question he knew you would ask. With a light clearing of your throat, your eyes flit back up to his, “then what have they been about recently?” You watch as Beomgyu’s eyes glint, his lips curling further above his shiny teeth, “you.” 

His answer catches you off guard as you blink at him dumbfoundedly. You? He was dreaming about you? “Alright…” you slowly begin as you shift uncomfortably on the sofa, “and the others..” – Beomgyu shakes his head, “there are no others. Only you, doc.” He smiles, as if his statement had been the most obvious thing he’d revealed to you during all your sessions thus far. 

“I see”, you mumble as you readjust the glasses resting on the bridge of your nose. “Do you still feel comfortable sharing these dreams with me? I can redirect you to one of my colleagues if that feels better..” You propose, silently begging for him to take the bait, to back down from what could become a situation in which your professionalism was jeopardized. – Not that it wasn’t already. 

“Oh I don’t mind at all”, he says as he cradles his face with both hands; resting his elbows on his knees as he leans forward. You let out a small sigh before nodding, accepting the inevitable task at hand. “Alright then, whenever you’re comfortable”, you agree as you flip a page in your notebook. 

“I was thinking…” Beomgyu slowly drawls as he gauges your expression closely, “that it would be better if I showed you.” The frown that had etched its way to your face was quickly replaced by a look of surprise as he pats the space on the sofa next to him. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea..” – “Oh come on, doc. Don’t act coy with me now, we’ve been closer I reckon.” The smirk that he flashes you is enough for you to realize exactly why you shouldn’t be doing this. – Yet as if your feet moved on their own, you rise from your couch and walk over to him. 

You deliberately take a seat as far away from him as possible in an attempt to keep things at least a bit professional. Beomgyu doesn’t seem to mind your hesitance as he openly ogles the way your skirt glides up your thighs; his gaze only snapping up when your hands pull the flimsy material down once more. You clear your throat as you wait for him to start talking, the brief silence seemed to go on forever. 

“The dream starts off in a dark room”, he says as he holds your gaze. “Close your eyes.” – “What?” The exclamation slips past your lips in sheer surprise at his command, but Beomgyu remains persistent. “You heard me.” Upon noticing your hesitant look he adds, “it will only make sense if you close your eyes.” 

You knew that this was a bad idea, an unprofessional and a terrible idea; yet you do as he says. Your hands placed nervously in your lap, you await his next move. You felt vulnerable like this, stripped of your sight. Beomgyu’s hand on your forearm startles you, and you curse yourself for slightly flinching at the light touch. 

“I always start here”, he murmurs, his thumb gently massages your tense muscles before creeping up your arm. “Your skin is always soft, and warm.” His voice is low as he speaks, fingertips dancing across your shoulder, dangerously close to where your shirt exposed your collarbone and it takes everything in you not to shudder under his touch. 

“Then I do this..” – His hand brushes along your exposed neck, and you involuntarily shiver at the action. His hand against your skin felt hot, burning even, and without your ability to see, your senses become hyper aware of the way his fingers brushed along your cleavage. “You shiver like this in my dreams too.” He mumbles, almost fascinated with the reactions he was drawing from you. 

You know that it is wrong, you know that you should push his hand away, tell him off; but you don’t. – Instead you let it happen, because part of you wants this just as bad as he does, if not more. Suddenly the hand against your chest disappears and you can no longer feel him on you. 

When Beomgyu speaks again, his voice sounds hoarse, strained even. “You never say anything in my dreams.” He sounds dejected as he states said fact, though you barely have time to take note of the change in his voice as his burning hand returns, this time it caresses your exposed knee. A noise of surprise escapes your sealed lips and you can hear his intake of breath at the sound. “It’s a shame. You sound so pretty.” 

You swallow a gulp, already knowing where this was heading – yet not doing anything to stop it. You knew that you had to, if not you would end up where you had a week prior. But his hand, slowly creeping up your inner thigh, brought back memories you had tried so desperately to bury. 

Without opening your eyes, you wrap your fingers around his wrist. “We can’t.” Is all you say as you hold your breath. Afraid that even the smallest of move from your part might break the little self restraint you had left. “Why not?” Beomgyu’s breath is suddenly mere inches from your lips. “Do not tell me that you didn’t enjoy last time.” 

You shake your head, eyes still screwed shut. “Last time was a mistake, Beomgyu.” You whisper as you lean away from him. The grip on your thigh increases as he grows frustrated with your response, “but you have been thinking of it.” His nose bumps against yours, “tell me to stop and I will.” His lips hover above your own, the hand on your thigh slowly creeping higher. 

Drawing in a short breath, you meekly nod, and in a split second Beomgyu has shoved his mouth against yours. You do not dare open your eyes, afraid that if you did, it would all become real, too real. Instead your hands move to his hair, silently begging him for what you couldn’t utter out loud. Beomgyu quickly catches on as his hand seathes itself between your legs; a satisfied groan emitting from him at the feel of your soaked panties. 

“Fuck, doc. You always this wet during our sessions?” 

You don’t answer as you moan against his lips. Beomgyu’s fingers quickly slips past the drenched fabric of your underwear; fuck, he breathes as your wet cunt drenches said fingers. His thumb against your clit sends your mind into a clouded haze as your fingers tighten on his hair. 

“I dream about you every night”, he whines into your mouth as he pushes two of his fingers deep inside your throbbing core; relishing in the way you clench around him. “You don’t even know half the shit you do to me.” – “Yeah?” you breathe out as your hips buck against his hand. 

“Yeah.” He repeats as his head dips down to the juncture of your neck, leaving sloppy and wet kisses along your skin. The way his fingers curled inside of you made your back arch off the sofa, your chest pressing against his face as Beomgyu’s kisses traveled to your breasts. “W-wait, wait-” you gasp as his fingers rip the buttons of your shirt open, “not in here.” – Beomgyu’s free hand makes quick work of freeing your breasts from the confinements of your bra as his lips wrap around your now exposed nipple. 

“Don’t fucking tell me to wait when I’ve been depriving myself of you for an entire week.” He groans against your skin and all your protests are swallowed by the moans of pleasure he draws from you. “F-fuck”, you whimper as you feel your orgasm approaching. – Beomgyu smirks against your chest, “you gonna cum all over this couch? Explain the mess to your next patients?” 

Your cheeks flush at the comment and you bite your lip as your thighs squeeze together. “Fuck, you like that don’t you?” He taunts as his fingers quicken their pace. Desperately you nod as your fingers twist in his hair. “Dirty fucking bitch.” Beomgyu huffs as his lips return to your breasts, his fingers working you toward your desired orgasm. 

With a small cry, you release all over his hand, your fluids dripping onto the cushion beneath you as you rocked your hips against his fingers. Beomgyu hums contently against your chest before releasing your nipple from his mouth to lean back and admire his work. – From your clouded expression to your abused chest – wet from his kisses, down to your leaking cunt, messing up the sofa. 

He throws a quick glance toward the clock on the wall. – “I still have fifteen minutes left of my session”, he smirks as he unzips his jeans. 

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[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

Halloween chapter 12

Note: this is a direct follow up to chapter 11 and nods back to all the previous chapters. the timing of this release is probably awful, but here goes nothing.

previous chapters: part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6 - part 7 - part 8 - part 9 - part 10 - part 11.

Warnings: 18+! angst and some fluff, mention of blood, death, medication use, brief mention of self harm(not suicidal). Please proceed with caution if you have been triggered by earlier chapters of this fic.

pairing: Modern!Sihtric x you (f)

summary: you formed a bond with Sihtric as he was your patient. 

wordcount: 6662 (I laughed at the 666 so I had to put the exact number, what are the odds)

Masterlist

The Willow Asylum was cold and the lights reflected painfully bright on the blank white walls, making for a downhearted and inhospitable atmosphere.

White. 

White was the colour that surrounded you everywhere. Not only were all the lights and walls white, but so were the floors, ceilings, tables, chairs, doors, couches, desks, bathrooms, beds, cabinets and the window sills were white to, which were barred on the outside with thick white metal. Everything was white. Even the patients were dressed in all white; laceless white shoes with white socks and white pants, white shirts, white sweaters and white underwear too. And all the patients looked an odd shade of white too, regardless of their skin colour, which was what had alarmed you immediately on your first day at the place. Everything was so white that you and your colleagues stood out by wearing a light shade of blue, which was supposed to be a comforting and calming colour but it made you feel like you were a great blue shark amongst blood and colour deprived corpses that were the patients. But the patients weren't dead, they were still very much alive in one way or another.

You were already an experienced doctor when you were transferred to the Willow Asylum, which most people called the Willow House to make it sound less harsh, but what happened behind the locked doors of the building was harsh to say the least. You had never before seen patients in the state which they were in at the Willow House, with their eyes all empty and walking around as if they had no soul anymore. You had so many questions and concerns, but seeing the stern faces of your colleagues already gave you your answer: you had to suck it up if you wanted to help these people who so desperately needed help, but you wondered if they were getting the right kind of help, if any.

It was your first day at the Willow House when you met Sihtric a few hours into your shift. And it was Sihtric who confirmed your suspicion about the quality of treatment everyone received; the nurses weren't helping the patients at the Willow House, they were slowly driving them insane and eventually even killing some.

It was Halloween and the patients were restless, constantly roaming the hallways and screaming at the top of their lungs, seemingly for no reason at all. But you believed they probably felt the ghostly past of the building they were kept in, as the veil between the living and the dead was at its thinnest. Every patient got drugged up that afternoon as they were all going out of their minds, banging their fists on the tables and against the windows, when they weren't rattling the doorknobs in the hopes to find a way out. The alarm howled through the cold and big corridors of the asylum every hour, to which a handful of guards responded by brutally forcing obviously terrified patients into their rooms and locking them up. Their frightened screams sounded muffled through the walls all day, as if something was locked inside with them in their room, but no one ever saw anything out of the ordinary.

Sihtric was one of the few who was calm as he sat in one of the white chairs in the communal living room, staring out the window, next to the old and no longer in use fireplace. You had looked into the records of each patient before your first shift, and Sihtric was the one that stuck with you the most. He had been committed by his now ex-wife a few years ago, and his past as a black ops soldier seemed to be the reason he was brought in. His ex-wife claimed he heard and saw things, which doctors said was part of the PTSD symptoms which he was treated for now. You read that Sihtric was usually calm but also notorious for sudden outbursts of violence and erratic behaviour.

Patient has a history with violence, against himself and others. Patient is known to inflict pain to himself i.e. cutting himself to draw blood which he has used to draw unholy symbols on his floor, window and walls. Patient is under no circumstance allowed to keep sharp objects. Patient shows no sign of suicidal tendencies; self-harm is only done for the sake of a religious and ritualistic form. Patient will not elaborate when asked.

Violent fits happen at random, medication has been increased and proven successful: patient is evidently calmer when medicated.

You remembered his file as you looked at him while you sat in your office, almost spying on him as you lurked carefully between the closed blinds, and he didn't seem violent at all. You felt yourself smirk when you thought how he looked even more handsome in real life than on his photo that was attached to his files. But you quickly shook off that thought when you remembered he was a patient, your patient, and that unfortunately something was off about him or else he wouldn't be there.

You again glanced at the list of medication he was on, and it still shocked you the same as it had done when you had first seen it. The list was huge and it struck you as odd that Sihtric was capable of even walking around on his own by the amount of sedatives in his blood at all times. But that was also what made you so curious. That and his hauntingly beautiful face.

And when the alarm blared through the asylum again and guards ran past your window, followed by some nurses, you took the opportunity to approach Sihtric as the communal room was almost empty, apart from a few other patients who sat at their tables and either slept or sat there drooling and staring at nothing in particular. You calmly made your way over and sat at a safe distance as you shared the table with the handsome man, whose tired and empty eyes were fixated on the heavy rain outside as it smashed with thick drops against the window. Sihtric didn't even look up at you at first, as if you weren't there, or more so; as if he wasn't really there. You struggled to find a way to start a conversation, but the topic was quickly found once you saw the DVD case he had in his lap.

'Halloween,' you said quietly with a faint smile, 'a classic.'

Sihtric suddenly blinked and slowly turned his face to meet your eyes, and he gave you an empty yet puzzled look.

'The DVD,' you explained, 'is it your pick for movie night today?'

Sihtric nodded slowly.

'I hope they pick your choice,' you smiled, 'it's my favourite.'

You had found out earlier that day that on Halloween each patient got to pick a movie for the movie night, and eventually one would be picked by the nurses to be shown on the tv in the communal room.

'They won't pick it,' Sihtric half whispered and looked out the window again.

'Why not?'

Sihtric scoffed lightly at your question, then looked at you again with his soulless mismatched eyes.

'Because they never show a movie on movie night.'

'I don't understand,' you said, confused.

'They lie,' Sihtric whispered and leaned in closer.

'Who?'

'Everyone.'

'Do you mean the nurses don't pick a movie from the ones you all picked?'

Sihtric shook his head.

'They don't pick any movie,' he said sadly as he looked down at the case in his lap, 'they never show a movie. They lie. They always lie,' Sihtric suddenly leaned in closer, 'do you want to know a secret?'

Without thinking you leaned in too, as he spoke softer with each word that followed. And after you had looked around to make sure no one was there, you nodded cautiously at this question.

'Yes,' you whispered.

'I shouldn't be here,' he said with a sudden twisted grin on his face.

His words made your mouth dry and your hair stand on end, but before you could speak you were rudely interrupted by the alarm again as it echoed through the building and the heavy boots of guards stomped down the hall again. You waited until everything became quiet again, but once you returned your attention back to Sihtric, he seemed to have lost interest in the conversation and was staring outside again. You sighed softly, having to accept he was just as lost as everyone else in there, and you moved to get up. But Sihtric then suddenly grabbed your wrist and looked up at you.

'I've been waiting for you,' he said, his eyes suddenly vivid and his voice confident and alive, as if he had gotten clear headed out of nowhere.

'What?' you asked as you felt a cold shiver down your spine at his warm touch.

'You found me this time, little bat,' Sihtric smiled as if in love, 'I've been waiting for you all my life,' he breathed.

You stared at him, speechless, his grip on your wrist firm yet not painful or malicious. And you watched his smile fade as the alarm sounded again, and this time the heavy boots stormed your way. Sihtric was quick to grab your face and he kissed your lips almost bruisingly before you were shoved aside by one of the guards. And within a split second you witnessed how Sihtric was pushed harshly down on the table, causing his nose to bleed while they dragged him away from you before they locked and chained him up in an isolation cell for the night.

And Sihtric was right, you found out that evening, for the nurses never showed a movie for the patients. In fact, they were all locked in their rooms after dinner.

You observed Sihtric the following days after the incident in the communal area, and you found out that one nurse in particular was rather interested in him as well. The blonde caregiver was called Skade, and she gave you a terrible feeling from the moment you met her. Her smile was always insincere and you noticed Sihtric was always tense when she was around. But you figured that was because she was in charge of the medication he needed to take, and nobody likes to have multiple pills forced down their throats several times a day.

Day and night your mind reeled about how aware Sihtric had looked when he took your wrist that first day and suddenly kissed you. His words still made no sense to you, but you would swear they were spoken by a man who wasn't on any of the medication he was on, because it seemed as if the drugs had left his blood within a matter of seconds and his previously soulless eyes were full of hope in that very moment. You were also still horrified by how violently the guards had treated him, and you found yourself worrying about him at night when you couldn't fall asleep, even when he wasn't locked in isolation anymore.

Days later you snuck Sihtric's files with you out of the asylum so you could go over them at home, and you did so for hours on end, trying to understand him and his behaviour but it seemed to be a puzzle with many missing pieces. What didn't help either was that, despite his sudden behaviour, you had never been afraid in his presence or afraid of him in general. And his words had been almost soothing that first day you spoke to him, for you felt at ease when you sat next to him as if you had known him all your life for some reason. And his kiss… his kiss still made your head spin and your heart skip a few beats whenever you thought of it.

The days after the incident you noticed Sihtric became more and more unaware of his surroundings as Skade was shoving more medication his way than you knew was actually prescribed, and it concerned you. If Sihtric had been violent towards you then you could understand they were doing everything they could to keep him calm and quiet, even though you were very much against that kind of treatment, but what worried you more was that he hadn't been violent with you at all. So the treatment they gave him could not be condoned in any way, even if he had crossed a line and kissed you, but you seemed to be the only one aware of how cruel the nurses were.

After a few weeks you decided to approach him again and you found Sihtric alone in his room, with his door open. You knocked but Sihtric didn't respond, so you carefully entered his room and the first thing you noticed in the all white coloured nightmare was the unbreakable mirror, which hung in every room, but his was painted black. Sihtric sat on his bed with knees pulled up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them, and he looked up when he suddenly noticed you had wandered in his room and were seemingly inspecting the darkened mirror.

'It's a portal,' Sihtric suddenly said, which startled you lightly.

'A portal?' you frowned at the mirror and then remembered reading in his files that he had been fixated on all kinds of paranormal theories, which you knew a lot about yourself too. 'Yes, I've heard of that theory,' you said, glad he started the conversation, 'why did you paint it black?'

Sihtric opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it again, and then almost violently shook his head.

'No, no you will drug me,' he said with a trembling voice.

'I am not the one who brings medication, Sihtric,' you said compassionately, 'I will never drug you. I am here to understand you better and to see if you are receiving the right treatment. Why do you assume you will be medicated if you tell me about the mirror?'

'Because you all think I'm crazy.'

'I don't think you are crazy,' you said and sat down on the bed next to him, at a comfortable distance, 'try me.'

Sihtric hesitated while he looked at you, as if he was trying to read your mind and you noticed how full of life his eyes were again, just like that brief moment before the guards had taken him away.

'Scrying,' he then said and looked away, 'I sometimes use it to… look,' he paused and waited for you to make a mocking comment, but it never happened.

'I know what scrying is,' you smiled softly, 'and I believe it is a real thing.'

'It is real,' Sihtric said quickly, 'it is real, I promise.'

'I know,' you reassured him, 'and I promise I don't think you are crazy.'

You stopped talking when Skade suddenly walked in, holding a tray with multiple cups of medication to which Sihtric immediately tensed up and backed himself into the corner while still on his bed. Your heart sank when you saw the sheer panic in his eyes, eyes that were convincingly aware of what was happening instead of being the numbed zombie that those pills are supposed to make him 24/7.

'No,' you said and held your hand up as Skade attempted to come closer, 'I… I am doing a study,' you lied, 'I am studying his behaviour, and I would like to see how he changes when the medication is out of his system in order to determine the treatment he receives. There is no need to give him his pills right now, because he is calm.'

Skade scoffed and asked if you had permission to do whatever you were doing, and you were somehow convincing enough after you promised she could leave the medication on the table and you would later make sure he would take them. Relief washed over Sihtric once Skade left his room after you had talked into her, but his trembling hands told you that his fear for the blonde nurse was deeply rooted within him, and even stronger was the feeling of hatred he felt towards her.

You began to spend a lot of time with Sihtric in the weeks that followed. A bond formed rather quickly when you often discussed all things spooky as it was a shared interest, and Sihtric always seemed to have that spark of joy in his eyes when he got to be around you, which warmed your heart. You told Sihtric you wanted to go to a Halloween fair one day, but you never had anyone to join you and you also confessed you had never been to a proper Halloween party in your life. Sihtric was shocked at your confession and promised that once he'd get out of the asylum he would take you to the Halloween fair and to a good Halloween party, even though he knew chances of getting out were slim. You also discussed classic horror movies and even found out you both enjoyed the same sort of music, and you loved sharing scary stories as you roamed the depressing white hallways together as a part of his daily activity. 

Sihtric slowly opened up to you about his time in the asylum, specifically about how he didn't trust Skade and he claimed she was a witch. And even though you believed such things were possible, you had to remind yourself that Sihtric was a patient and you had to downplay your own thoughts about her so you wouldn't feed his possible delusional thoughts. You were shocked to hear how she had treated him overtime, making fun of him and degrading him and even going as far as spitting in his face for no reason at all other than that she felt she had all the power and control over him. Her behaviour angered you, and you believe Sihtric entirely, but you couldn't confront her about her behaviour because there was no solid proof for her actions towards him.

You grew very fond of Sihtric as time passed by, something which Skade noticed too as you were always present in his room when she came to give Sihtric his medication several times a day. And she learned soon enough that Sihtric would not take pills from her anymore, but if she left them on the table with you, he would take them later when you reminded him to. He was still reluctant about the medication and it was clear he only took them to please you, which you appreciated but also didn't help the spark of feelings you began to feel for him as you felt so at ease and safe around him.

However, you quickly noticed that Sihtric was affected negatively by his medication, becoming drowsy and confused instead of being his lively and sharp self when he was not medicated. It pained you to see him like that and you did not understand why he was prescribed all the pills he was forced to take, as they didn't help him in any way. But maybe even more peculiar was how fast the medication seemed to vanish from his blood. He sobered up about two hours after taking his medication, something which should not be humanly possible, but that explained why the amount of pills he was forced to take had increased so often; they simply stopped working too soon and they kept upping the dosage to keep him drugged out of his mind.

Over time you witnessed several of his violent outbursts. He'd attack the guards and anyone who tried to force him to take his medication at times, and you started to notice there was a pattern in his behaviour. Sihtric became violent towards everyone, except for you, when the medication was seemingly completely out of his system as it made him aware and clear headed, and he kept claiming he did not belong in the asylum, which you started to agree on. It also seemed he became more violent and erratic during the full Moon, and that was something you still couldn't explain. But every violent fit always started when someone tried to push the pills in his mouth and he'd fight them, and it always ended with the guards knocking him out and Skade injecting some kind of tranquilliser until his body weakened and he was dragged away and chained to his bed. And you always watched it in horror, as your gut told you something was so terribly wrong with the way he was treated, and that Sihtric truly did not belong there.

While you continued to observe Sihtric, you also began to observe every nurse who treated him, as it wasn't just Skade. And while you did that you also continued to strengthen your bond with Sihtric, which had grown into something that simply shouldn't be. The way your heart fluttered when you sat close to him and how your cheeks warmed up whenever you caught his bright mismatched eyes gazing at you gave you an alarmingly intense rush of butterflies each time, and you found yourself thinking of him every night before you fell asleep.

'What are those tattoos?' you asked Sihtric as you sat next to him on his bed.

Sihtric smiled, completely off medication again, and he told you about his black ops past. He told you what you had read in his files already, that he had a paranormal encounter while on a mission once and had lost a friend to it. It was a sad story but Sihtric said he had made his peace with everything, and he was very much aware that that whole ordeal was the reason he was committed. It broke your heart because you believed Sihtric didn't belong there and you somehow felt connected to him, but most of all it broke your heart because you wished you could make him leave this place of horrors and keep him safe. Keep him safe from whatever they were doing to him here and to keep him safe from himself too, because everytime he was medicated you didn't recognise him anymore.

You looked at him with a soft smile after he had told his story, and he shyly looked down at his feet as he swayed them lightly while sitting on the edge of his bed.

'I just want this to end,' he murmured as if talking to himself, 'living here, I mean. I want it to be over.'

'I wish I could take you home with me,' you whispered without thinking and took his hand.

'I wouldn't say no to that,' Sihtric blushed and looked at you while softly rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand.

His eyes were so clear and alive. They were so vivid and enchanting and his piercing gaze pulled you closer to him so naturally. And you didn't even try to stop him when he suddenly kissed you. Instead of pushing him away, you reached for his neck and pulled him even closer, to which Sihtric immediately pulled you in his lap and placed his hands on your waist. This was the second time he kissed you, but it was nothing like that first time, which had been hard and rushed as had happened in the spur of the moment. This time his kiss was tender and slow and passionate, as if he was taking his time.

The kiss deepened as you moved one hand up to the back of his head, feeling the warmth of the shaved side of his head touching your palm while your fingers tangled in his dark curls. You would never deny that Sihtric had been on your mind ever since that first kiss that had caused him to be restrained and locked up, and you had been secretly longing to feel his lips touch yours again.

You drowned in his kiss, tasting the apple juice on his tongue which he had sipped through a straw while you were talking moments before, and he squeezed your waist almost bruisingly as he moaned softly in your mouth with each stroke of your tongue he felt against his. He then picked you up, so easily with his strong arms hooked under your knees, and he pushed you up against the wall while you made out passionately. You enveloped your legs around his waist and wrapped your arms around his neck, breathing hard while you were pressed between his warm body and the cold wall. You kissed each other roughly and with a hunger that could not to be stilled, no matter how deep the kiss was, but you were rudely disturbed and pulled back to reality when the alarm sounded through the Willow House again, and you both broke the kiss before the guards ran past his room.

You had managed to keep your steamy encounter with Sihtric a secret, and it eventually turned out to only be the first of many times you would be pushed up against the wall in his room, with his hands roaming your body while his tongue was deep inside your mouth. And numerous times he would sit you up on the desk in your office, kissing you just as passionately while the door was locked and the blinds were closed. You had fallen in love with him and Sihtric didn't have to use his words to tell you he was in love with you all the same, it was written all over him.

You truly believed he wasn't crazy, he just couldn't be. You had read his files over and over again in your office, day after day, trying to figure out what was going on with him. But just like before, you couldn't figure out why he received the treatment he was given. It almost broke your brain trying to wrap your head around it, because nothing about it made sense. The only conclusion you kept coming to was that Sihtric did not need to be medicated, that he truly did not belong at the asylum and that he was simply being mentally tortured and completely silenced for no reason at all. And that all made everything so much more painful.

Every time you met Sihtric one on one he greeted you with a tight hug and a kiss, making it clear that you were his rock in all this madness and that he only really felt safe with you. And Sihtric didn't hide the fact he desperately longed to be with you. He craved to feel you every second he was awake, and it was simply another form of torture but a more pleasant one, or so he believed. And it is not that you didn't have an aching desire for him all the same, but you already told him several times that you and him needed to keep a professional distance, no matter how hard it was. You knew that if you would ever be caught you would get fired, and then there would be no way to help him ever again. But you weren't always strong either, and you often gave in to the temptation of kissing him and allowing yourself to love him without saying the words, by holding him tightly wrapped in your arms as you sat on his bed together. And he'd always tell you how soothing it was to him to hear your heartbeat, and how he had dreamed about you every night since he met you and he called you the most endearing names you had ever heard. 

Sihtric's passion for all things dark and macabre were also part of his love language, as he often gifted you the skulls of small dead animals he had found outside while strolling through the secluded asylum's garden. And he gifted you one again the last time you spoke, when you wanted to hear more about his dreams as he was being vague about those and couldn't quite come to the point of what he felt those dreams meant, but before you could ask him more about it, your private time with him was over again. 

You only had several hours a day with him, and you covered your alone time together by stating it was a form of therapy, which wasn't a complete lie since Sihtric was improving greatly when you managed to decrease his medication for the time being. But it all went wrong again on the night of the full Moon, when Sihtric seemingly lost his mind in the communal room and began to claim something was haunting him. You noticed his pupils were huge when you approached him and his skin was incredibly pale. He scared you for the first time since you met him. He wasn't violent, but you knew something was definitely wrong once he began to shout in Latin towards the centre of the room, where the old fireplace was located.

The alarm soon rang when Sihtric started to shout louder while he was seemingly getting crazier too, and before you could interfere he was already shoved against the wall and pushed down on the floor by several guards. You covered your ears while Sihtric desperately shouted your name for help when he saw Skade approach with a syringe, knowing he was going to be medicated again, and you knew it would be to the point where he mixed up reality and his dreams again. You felt sick when you heard the witch of a nurse order the guards to lock Sihtric into the isolation cell for the night, because you knew that holding cell was just a torture room; you could only stand or sit on the small bench, as there was no place to lay down or get comfortable in any way. And sitting down was painful too, as the space was so small that his knees would press painfully against the metal door. But no one listened to you when you tried to stop him from being tortured once again.

And you cried yourself to sleep that night in your own bed, knowing Sihtric was locked in a tiny dark and cold room, with his hands chained behind his back. And all Sihtric could do was sit painfully squished between the walls and lean his forehead against the cool door, while the medication they kept giving him over night kept him in a delusional state. And the only consolation he had was that he dreamed of you for hours on end while being half awake at all times. 

He wept silently in the dark as he smiled while his mind played tricks on him, because everything felt so real, it was pure bliss to him. The way he met you at a Halloween fair and how he had fallen for you right away. The way you discovered the horror maze together and kissed after you had both tumbled over between the haystacks. How you went ghost hunting together and how he finally took you to that Halloween party, just like he had promised. A soft moan escaped his lips when his mind made him believe he made love to you countless times, and a maniacal laughter echoed through the quiet halls at night as he envisioned the way he killed Skade with an axe, and so broke the curse he believed she had put on him. 

He dreamt of a domestic life with you, cooking dinner for you and being cuddled up on the couch while watching a horror flick late at night. And he desperately murmured your name in the dead of night when he imagined how you pleased him with your mouth, and he drooled with the need to have his head between your thighs to taste your juices in return. And at last he dreamed again of all the lives he lived with you before this one, and he thought of the Vampire of Bebbanburg and how he felt the presence of his ancestor running through his veins at all times.

'Devil,' Sihtric slurred after another dose of medication had been shoved down his throat at three in the morning, 'I got the… devil,' he whispered, exhaustedly, 'devil in my… blood.'

The next morning Sihtric woke up in his bed, confused and disorientated while his wrists ached. His hands searched for you under the sheets, but you weren't there, and he grabbed onto his pillow instead.

You had caught a glimpse of Sihtric when he was being dragged back to his room after spending the night in isolation, his head hanging down while two guards held his arms and left his feet to drag over the floor behind him. You had lost your mind upon seeing the awful state he was in and had argued heatedly with Skade about the medication he was given overnight and his overall treatment.

'You could've killed him!' you shouted, not in control of your emotions anymore.

'And yet he lived!' Skade shrugged, 'something is wrong with him!'

'Have you considered that you are giving him everything that makes it so there is something wrong with him!? Whatever you have been giving him overnight was sure as hell not allowed!'

'The medication leaves his body too fast!' Skade argued, 'it's like his blood fights it within only a few hours! It shouldn't be possible!'

'Then why is no one looking into that!? Has anyone ever brought this up to him-'

'Sihtric claims vampire blood runs through his veins,' Skade scoffed, 'that man is a lunatic! You should've figured that out while you studied him,' she sneered, 'or were you too busy fucking him?'

You froze and swallowed hard. You and Sihtric had never given in to the sexual desires you both had for each other, but you felt that Skade knew there was more going on between the two of you. You shut the conversation down by storming out of the room, and after a few hours of demanding that you wanted to speak with Sihtric in private, you finally were allowed to visit him in his room.

Sihtric immediately lit up upon seeing you as you sat at his table, and you asked him how he was doing. He told you his wrists were aching and you soon found out that Sihtric had no memory of what had happened to him during the night, as he was still stuck in his head and could not separate reality from his dreams anymore, even though he seemed clear headed. You managed to ask him again about the dreams he had, which he had told you about before he got locked away. And he then finally told you his dreams felt like past lives you've had together, and he described several lives in which you supposedly had met and fallen in love, only for it to end in a terrible and heartbreaking way over and over again. Your blood ran cold as you listened to him describe his dreams, because Sihtric wasn't just describing his own dreams in detail, he was also describing the dreams you've been having for years. You have had the same dreams and nightmares long before you met him in the asylum, but the man you dreamt about was always faceless and wild haired, yet now suddenly he seemed to have a face, and it was Sihtric. 

It had always been Sihtric. 

You jumped up and left his room without saying a word, and back home you panicked as you tried to come to your own senses again. Because Sihtric wasn't crazy, and you were always meant to be, but it scared you because how were you supposed to be together in this life?

You met Sihtric again a few days later, after you had taken some time to let everything soak in. He took your breath away when you saw him, as always, and he wanted to hug you and kiss you immediately. It pained you to deny him, so you gave in briefly before you had to make the horrible choice of trying to snap him out of his delusional state. Sihtric quickly became confused and agitated when you kept asking him questions that made no sense to him. He didn't understand why you couldn't remember how you had met him, at the Halloween fair, or all the dates he had taken you on ever since. And Sihtric felt like the ground had opened up beneath his feet, causing him to fall into a black hole like an angel who had lost his wings, once he realised where he was and that all of it had only happened in his head. You tried to calm him down, but his panic had already alarmed the guards. 

And before he was dragged away from you, you confessed your feelings for him and promised him that he wasn't crazy, to which Sihtric begged you to get him out of the asylum. And then you had to watch how he was being taken away from you, again, and this time he would be locked in the asylum's basement, because he had crossed too many lines in only a few days, but he then suddenly began to aggressively resist the punishment. Sihtric's state scared you because of his violent fits that you had witnessed, but the violence you had seen before was nothing compared to what you were to witness next.

You ran after him while Sihtric was being dragged through the gloomy hallway, away from his room and towards the door that led to the basement. But Sihtric managed to break out of the grip that the guards had on him, and it seemed he was stronger than he had ever been before. You watched the horrors unfold as you stood with your back pressed against the wall, only a few paces away, and then Skade appeared with a syringe in her hands to sedate Sihtric once again. But he wasn't going to allow her anymore and he ran past you with blind fury after he had managed to take down the guards. Sihtric made way to the protective glass case mounted on the wall which held a fire axe, meant for emergencies only, but he figured now was a good time for an emergency. He somehow shattered the thick glass with his elbow, causing blood to drip gush out as he tore the axe out of the box, and he stalked towards Skade before she could even understand what was happening.

Everything happened so fast and it was all so chaotic. The alarm blared through the asylum, guards screamed in agony after Sihtric had broken several of their bones, and then the only sound you heard was Sihtric's loud grunts each time he slammed the axe down into Skade's body while she shrieked. You wanted to scream, but no sound left your mouth as you watched her blood splatter everywhere, painting the white walls red, while you felt numb and couldn't seem to stop the massacre that was happening. And deep down you didn't want to stop Sihtric, because you knew what she had done to him all these years, and you also knew that he was completely clear headed now and knew exactly what he was doing. For the first time in a very long time he had managed to take control of his life again, and you would not take that away from him.

More guards and nurses came running when the slaughter was already over, and they found Sihtric covered in blood as he knelt down next to the butchered body. He dropped the axe with a psychotic and satisfied grin on his face before he was beaten unconscious and then thrown into the dark, damp and cold basement, where they chained him to the wall with rusty metal chains.

And now you had to figure out a way to break him out of the asylum.

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[lee1504]

love

At first, Aiden knew nothing about love. He thought it was just a feeling, something his parents claimed to have, but maybe didn't. Something Ben had with his own family, with his parents and Lily. Something Taylor and Tyler had with each other and their mother. Something Ashlyn had with her parents. Something Logan had with his grandparents.

He thought love was just a word, something unimportant, something minor with four letters. He knew he was perfect, so he obviously had it.

But he was rough. He'd make jokes related to his death, related to Tyler's death. At first, the five others brushed it off as jokes, but then it started to get annoying. Aiden started to get annoying. And he knew that he finally pissed them off.

It wasn't intentional. But it seemed like everything he did was intentional. Getting hurt, hurting others...et cetera, et cetera.

His first experienced love when Lily was born. She obviously wasn't his sibling, but seeing her next to Ben, only a few pounds old and swaddled in blankets, Aiden realized how precious a human being could be. He didn't want to hurt anyone who was fragile or not. He didn't want to hurt someone he loved.

The second time he experienced love was when Taylor sobbed after Tyler's death in the phantom dimension. She was sobbing, and clung onto Aiden. Aiden could never compare himself to Tyler, who served as Taylor's brother and rock that held her to the ground, but Taylor was Aiden's best friend. She could count as his sister if she wanted. Aiden then realized that love could be in any form. Even if you were grieving, or hateful, or angry, you could still love.

Aiden was still learning. He was learning a lot of things, not just in school. He was learning that people, too, had feelings, people can be hurt with the slightest action or word, and that was okay.

Because he was still learning how to love.

[moirindeclermont]

Daily thread about BridgertonS3 and I'm still basking in all the glory that is the mirror scene. So buckle up folks, this is going to be long, in depth, and extremely horny (and yes, I'll make a lot of pun).

Let me start on a serious note: I want to thank all the people involved, not only Luke and Nicola, but the intimacy coordination and everyone who contributed because it's clearly a group effort.

I love many moments about that scene, but overall what did hit me like a train was the intimacy, the care, the love that was clearly displayed in the scene.

It's rare that we see intimate scene that comes clearly from a place of love and dedication.

Two words about Colin: my man was caring, attentive to her needs, guiding her in this new experience (am I the only one that find this scorching hot?), telling her she is beautiful. He asked her consent every step of the way and that alone was beyond sexy. See, when people tell me that continuous consent is annoying, I'm not sure they know what they are talking about. There's nothing sexier that having the person you love most in the world saying yes to this experience you're doing together.

Two words about Pen: gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous Pen. Innocent, to a point, because while she was insecure about the experience, she was clearly into it as much as he is. She was active in the experience, as well. Asking how to please her man. And don't get me started on how she might felt after loving him for so long, finally being able to share with him this moment.

I have absolutely zero notes for Luke and Nicola. Perfection. Especially Nicola, she delivered the perfect mix between desire, insecurity, nerves, innocence and lust. Especially Nicola, because I'm sure it was empowering AF. it was empowering for me too watching it. It's everything every person should experience when having sex for the first time.

Do I have to nitpick? While it didn't bother me too much, I'd love if people would understand that sex should not be painful, even the first time (key points here: use lube and lots of foreplay). But I can suspend my belief that they might not know in the time period. That's the only thing I would improve on the scene.

Favorite moments: I'd probably have to do another thread about it, but in random order: when she sees his 🍆 and gulps; when she goes to touch his 🍆 but he says not yet and she has the most adorable expression ever existed; when she gets into it and you can see in her eyes the lust the "fxck me, ruin me, please" (i know who to thank for this particular description); when she said "can we do it again?" And nobody will convince me they didn't; his orgasm coming from watching her experiencing it;

Idk if I ever be able to be over this scene. It's just everything I ever would love to experience. And feeling represent was an incredible boost of self esteem; Pen and Nic are goddesses (and so am I and all women, regardless of body type). And I will cherish it (and rewatching it) for a very long time.

[greenqueenhightower]

People (Team Black twt) are reading "Oh, he’s Dornish!" as racism and the Rhaenicents who want Alicent to only live for Rhaenyra read it as disgust but Alicent clearly had a thing for Dornish men and Ser Criston in particular.

I’ll quote directly from the first episode’s script. From before Criston even says his first words to Rhaenyra, before Aemma’s death, before Alicent’s marriage to Voserys, before the brothel, before Rhaenyra slept with him, before Alicent feeling betrayed by Rhaenyra lying and getting her father sent away, before Rhaenyra’s wedding and Criston killing Joffrey. Alicent laid eyes on him and was heart eyes emoji.

KING'S LANDING, THE ROYAL BOX

(Ser Criston Cole rides over to the royal box with his helmet off and rested on his saddle. The knight is stunningly handsome: olive-skinned, with dark eyes and black hair.)

ALICENT:

“Gods. He's Dornish.”

(Rhaenyra looks at Alicent, as if trying to vicariously experience whatever it is that Alicent is experiencing.)

(As Ser Criston Cole gazes up at Rhaenyra and Alicent...)

SER CRISTON COLE:

“I was hoping to ask for the princess's favor.”

(Alicent's hopes are dashed. She looks at her younger, royal friend with envy.)

(Princess Rhaenyra and Alicent are far too caught up in their romantic fantasies to notice that the king and his Hand have quickly left the royal box in the middle of the tournament.)

Their romantic fantasies are Criston= Alicent, Daemon= Rhaenyra

It disproves that the only reason why Alicent wants Criston is because Rhaenyra had him. Alicent was attracted to him and Emily Carey said she in love with him and got bullied. Rhaenyra wasn’t interested in Criston upon meeting, didn’t see what Alicent saw in him and only built a relationship with him because he was all that was there. She was shunning Alicent, barely speaking to her father and Daemon was exiled/in the stepstones. Rhaenyra was never in love with Criston, he was just sex to her and a stand in friend.

It also should shut the “Alicent wants everything Rhaenyra has! She’s obsessed with Rhaenyra and using Criston as a vessel to be close to her!” people up too.

Alicent is capable of physical attraction towards certain men. Alicent is attracted to Criston and has been for 20 years. Her girlhood crush turned into a deep love and understanding somewhere during the 16-17 years he’s been her sworn protector. Rhaenyra never had Criston the in the ways Alicent has him. His one time sexual encounter with Rhaenyra, a brief stint in her service and a fling that led need badly doesn’t come close to holding the same weight of nearly 2 decades of service, friendship, trust, support, mutual attraction, pining and him loving and protect her children too.

Nobody ever says that Harwin was Rhaenyra’s substitute for Alicent with his brown curly hair, big brown eyes, hand of the king father and his Andal and first men blood.

Of course Alicent had a thing for Criston! I read "God's, he's Dornish!" as an exclamation of amazement and an audible attraction of Alicent towards *exotic* Dornish men.

Thanks for adding the script excerpts, it is clear that Alicent is intentionally interested in Criston as early as episode 1. This is why Rhaenyra's later betrayal doubly hurts because Rhaenyra not only betrayed Alicent's friendship but also showed her that she believed herself to be entitled to anything Alicent might have liked or wanted for herself. And it pained Alicent even more, because Rhaenyra knew that Alicent, being married to the king, could not have wanted or let herself desire Criston, yet Rhaenyra was free to do as she liked and rubbed that on Alicent's face.

Therefore, I think it matters greatly for both Alicent and Criston that they finally consummate their blossoming love in S2, and Alicent finally feels that she has found her previously denied freedom to seek what she desires.

Your above analysis is on point! Thanks so much for the ask💚 You also make such a good point about Harwin being Alicent's substitute for Rhaenyra, I have never thought of that before!

[the-violet-galaxy]

I don’t want Old Moon to come back to life -- and I REALLY hope this arc doesn’t end with him being alive again, in any capacity.

In my opinion, bringing Old Moon back to life would be a terrible decision for everything, on all narrative fronts.

It’s true a lot of characters come back to life in TSAMS. When Lunar died, him getting resurrected was part of the story from the beginning (Monty located part of his nanomachine body and started work right away). Solar coming back to life has been a key point of this arc. Etc

But Old Moon's death was permanent. The story was that it couldn’t be undone.

So much of the story, angst, and arcs (New Moon’s entire life; Sun in so much pain from losing his brother) centered around Old Moon being gone for good.

What made Old Moon’s death so impactful WAS that it was permanent. He made the choice to die and Sun would never see him again. He would never meet Earth or bond with Lunar or Solar. The whole painful denial of closure.

But -- to be able to just… BRING HIM BACK TO LIFE, it cheapens everything. It retroactively makes everything, all the angst and character development involving the memory of Old Moon, lose what made it so good. (And now knowing it was possible from the very beginning??? Doubly so. So many sad moments are tainted knowing that Monty was sitting off to the side, awkwardly whistling and twiddling his thumbs.)

Because the story was written this way, bringing Old Moon back is one of those things that shouldn’t be touched. Some characters need to die and stay dead.

(I was even hesitant when Monty first brought up that Moon could talk to his old self. I was worried this meant Old Moon was still “technically alive”, which would lead to the cheapening of things. But, when they said Old Moon was just an “instinctual copy”/comatose at all times, I was a little reassured; that was manageable. The show even stressed that Old Moon wasn’t actually alive; Monty said it plainly that he couldn’t take over, he was just an instinctual copy. New Moon himself said “he knows he’s dead. He knows he's isn't going to come back.”

So…

Why are we playing with the idea of him coming back now!? After all that!?

And bringing him back wouldn’t FIX anything. Not for Sun or the family --

Recently, Sun disowned New Moon, and started talking about how toxic Old Moon really was towards him.

And we saw how Old Moon acted while comatose. Even in DEATH, Old Moon didn’t really want to change who he was or how he behaved. He even says he’s afraid of talking to Sun because of what he might say. If he won’t change after experiencing death, he is probably never going to. If he comes back, he’ll most likely go right back to being the exact same asshole.

And we know that Sun has developed enough to finally not take it. He would NOT let Old Moon treat him like that anymore. He is willing to cut a toxic family member out of his life.

So, what -- would the story just bring Old Moon back, have him be the same asshole that Sun has moved beyond, and then have Sun put his foot down and do a second disownment? I just don’t see the point in that.

Even if something really dumb happens, like Old Moon is given a SECOND BODY so that there are both Moons at the same time… are they just gonna have Old Moon be exiled from the family and become a drifter side character out in the world, who only shows up to cameo once in a while? That would not be satisfying --  and I doubt Old Moon would be happy being away from the family, seeing how the show hammers in how his family is the only thing he cares about.

(And you can’t have him hanging around as a permanent member of the cast alongside New Moon – you’d have to juggle two Moon characters, which just seems like a HUGE headache for everyone and could get confusing for the viewers trying to keep who is who straight. I’m sure that acting for two Moons in every scene would also be a pain in the ass for the voice actors. Plus, New Moon is just THE MOON of The Sun and Moon Show now; are they going to alternate between which Moon is doing the gaming videos??? That’d be a mess.)

(The only other option is to fuse both Moons into Moon-V.3. which is. Please no. We’ve already had a Moon reset, and this would essentially be the same thing, creating a whole new person. It’s redundant, we’ve done that before. Please do something else.)

New Moon is a real piece of work right now and I don't like this arc, but this is his story to conclude. Not Old Moon's. New Moon has to deal with the repercussions of what he's done to the family (and it's looking like Dark Sun has been controlling him or nudging his personality, so he might not be as guilty as we initially thought; we'll have to see the extent of how much control Dark Sun had). New Moon has to face the consequences of his actions himself. In a way, Old Moon ran away from his consequences when he let himself die, he never had to face up to what he did or atone with his own hands; New Moon needs to stay and face what he's done in this story, he needs to face what happened to the family. Even if it's revealed it's not entirely his fault, he needs to stay. (If he does stay, he will actually be better than Old Moon, who ran away.)

If Old Moon HAS to come back, there’s just one way I can think of that I’d want it to go, but this is already long enough, so I’ll save it for later. I just wanted to throw my opinion out here.

TLDR: I don’t want Old Moon to come back to life AT ALL because it will cheapen the story and his death, and if he comes back to life there’s no satisfying place for him.

[kaibutsushidousha]

Any piece of media you’ve changed your mind on significantly? Bonus points if the only thing that caused the change was passing of time and not other material.

I really rewatch, so I judge things mostly according to what my mindset was back when I experienced them. The closest I have to a proper answer here is how Katekyo Hitman Reborn and Fairy Tail were my least favorite manga around high school and years later I had a sudden "Oh, I understand this part now" realization about a few things a decade later.

Reborn's example is, unsurprisingly, about the final chapter. It made the extremely controversial decision of ending on Reborn musing about how Tsuna learned nothing and is still the same person he was in chapter 1, except with friends now. Everyone hated that because the overarching narrative provided plenty of evidence to the contrary and because if the statement was true, the manga would be calling itself a waste of the reader's time. That was a sentiment I shared immensely.

My random epiphany on this one was that the "Tsuna learned nothing" quote comes from the perspective of Reborn, the character who wanted to teach him to be a mob boss and a killer, so it's celebrating that Tsuna remained a good boy through and through. It's thematically consistent despite the poor communication. In hindsight, Reborn couldn't have ended any other way.

And Fairy Tail's case came from looking back at the series through the lens of its core theme of mourning. Zeref was the one character I always considered good despite the rest of the series, and his deal was ultimately that he got cursed because he failed to cope with his brother's death and the curse causes him to autokill everything around him until he learns to get over it. Throughout his long life, Zeref created many tools that were exploited by half of the villains that came before him, and looking in hindsight, all of those were tools meant to cheat and control death.

And these ideas delivered in one of the main villains are obviously reflected in the main characters as well. Gray kills and mourns his dad 3 times in addition to carrying the guilt of indirectly killing Ur because he had mourned his dad properly the first time. There's a timeskip that sorta only exists kill off Lucy's dad and make her deal with that. And most importantly to make FT feel thematically consistent, Natsu's initial goal to find his dragon dad is ultimately revealed to be a quest to finally accept he died.

Grief is a constant theme in the series, but its importance only becomes evident in the final arc. Which is not something I can complain about because the only reason I stuck with Fairy Tail until the end is because I liked Rave that much to trust it to have at least a great ending, and Rave is another manga whose main theme is prevalent but only gets super evident with the final arc. Maybe the great difference in enjoyment came down to simply reading Rave as a finished story and reading Fairy Tail as an ongoing story. Who knows?

Does that mean I like those two now? No. I never reread them, so my first experience is still what counts. But at least now I believe I have a more fair and good-faith perspective of their flaws. And maybe an interest in checking Eden's Zero after it finishes (I'm not checking if it already finished because I think this post is funnier if it already finished 3 years ago and I don't know about it).

[queenhawke]

hot take maybe but it's quite ironic that troy has a whole episode about his desire to be seen as an adult and yet the fandom constantly infantalises him

[laugtherhyena]

I'm still not sure if i'll write Mayura and Hina back into the storyline in Csm part 2, but just know that post part 1 Mayura becomes the second biggest Chainsaw man hater