#who wouldve thought i'd get so attached

[flowerpowelltales]

it feels SO weird not to write like fall like spring anymore 😳 

[socksandbuttons]

i love ur bloodmoon thoughts sm and i agree with all of them ‼️‼️

they squandered his character sm and theres barely been any development since he got brought back to life… especially on the KC side. id love to see how youd rewrite it tbh- or if you want feel free to just use this ask as a bloodmoon thoughts dump

ALRIGHT SO We can run along with bm2 But also them going 'no their NOT the original thus we dont need to think about their charascter' as they seemingly established a bit with that but also not? Like that kinda furthers BM's whole arc of being treated like a murder machine (he was LITERALLY rebuilt for that, nothing more than tool!), and yet instead of USING THAT (which like.... we kinda got a bit of that with Eclipse, no i wont get into that.) they go 'HMNNN no, we dont wanna develop this further hes just villain' LIKE. SURE. ALRIGHT. BUT... YOU LITERALLY HAD SO MANY SET UPS WITH LIKE... His weird attachment to monty that one TIME yknow the 'hes my dad!' even tho hes not and its very debatable with Eclipse and KC depending how you wanna go about it (In terms of WHO made bloodmoon its Eclipse whos derived from KC and Moon and SUN.) Where was I YEAH HIS THEME OF NO ONE IS FAMILY BUT BLOODMOON. Only THEY understand that theyre not a tool or worthless! (Yknow just completely missing a way to use their codependence to help further their own coping of SEVERAL THINGS.) Yet he still STILL seeked out and called KC father, he still somewhat has thoughts on family. He's going after EARTH who's just vibin' trying to be accepting, even jealous of LUNAR for 1) being brought back and two) survived Eclipse and lives happily (sorta) and while begrudgingly i must say forgot bloodmoon. (WHICH LIKE. THATS THEIR OWN FAULT FOR NOT DRAGGING LUNAR INTO THAT PLOT EVEN THO HE HAD ALL THIS BLOODMOON INFO DURING THAT WHOLE THING. not used it ONCE. they purposely left lunar out of that and thats annoying. chaos sibligns 4 lyfe) Anyway you COULD so still use that in regards to Sun trying to reach out to them ('I wouldve loved another brother' will forever be brought up. also literally in the same convo sun does admit hed kill em again but WE'RE FOCUSING ON THE FAMILY PART GUYS) I'd have to scrap some like... lets see here.... UmMM i CAN use the attacking lunar thing still. Cause whole jealous thing they didnt understnad their own thoughtS (THEY THOUGHT MONTY WAS THEIR PARENT WHICH LIKE??? a stretch honestly. cmon we know this. theyre definitely making their own excuses) iDK ABOUT attacking earth, cause by that point everyone is kinda dead set on murdering them its actually pretty bad by that point unless KC comes back jesus style and goes 'NO. I'll handle this' proceeds to drag bloodmoon off into the desert for family bonding time (and rehabilitation.) Which he wont but we also gotta remember Bloodmoon is deliberately being used a scapegoat (despite yknow... he did DO all that by his volition still like he WOULD NOT have gone after kc like that if not for ruin going 'hey u wanna see ur dad who totoally didnt care for ur ass' or 'you should totally go kill a bunch of people. and then threaten lunar and earth BUT WAIT no killing ill shock u!' im losing focus but THEY WERE... sort of going somewhere with Bloodmoon not wanting to be a tool. AND having solar interfere (I still hate that whole 'he reminds me of my moon thus he must die'. Retcons... everywhere. Remember when he wanted to save his moon?? yeah? cool cause ill never forget that actually.) KC dying actually WOULDNT have been so bad (aside the... suddenly being an ass about it. But he was direct to bloodmoon about 'BRUH UR BEING USED.' and them never actually... bringing that up too much) angering BM enough to kill KC is actually pretty solid way to use the whole 'Bm not satisfied with Killing' as a very direct way KC's words last on BM especially BM's whole unstable emotions of NOT understanding the feelings theyre going through because of that other than anger (denial, grief, confusion and conflict of how Hurt that mustve been they wanted more family) oh this is getting long and im losing focus.

[asmogorna]

Sorry to send another ask so soon (and idk if someones asked this already) but if you have any headcanons for Jon I'd love to hear them!

OK SO im really sorry it took me THIS long to get to this i quite literally.. forgot i had smth in my inbox woopsies. the reason i remembered is cause mootie posted some Spine hcs and i was like "woah"

alsooo im not good at putting my thoughts onto "paper" especially in english so you will have to excuse me

anywho my jon headcanons some sad some random /ref

First of all i think that his relationship with Peter Walter I would be far from close. he would be seen as the type of child who's both "too much mess to take care of" and "strong enough to take care of himself" if that makes sense. Peter did love him as his creation but would openly admit that he's not his proudest one, meanwhile Jon wouldn't feel much connection at all. he sympathized with his creator but only in a way he would with any other human being, there was more gratitude than love

Jon struggles with constant malfunctions and his mechanisms are a mess (partially because he gets himself in trouble all the time), so at one point Peter would get tired of fixing him so frequently, and tell him that he can just "walk some things off". That thought stuck to the bot and he would think of all of his malfunctions as slight inconveniences, i mean, he can still perform so why pay attention to the constant neck pain or powering up struggles ? it just became a habit and he kind of forgot that things like that shouldn't be ignored

After a long while when Peter Walter VI grew up enough to start learning more about how automatons work, Jon would be used as a "lab rat" (not really but its just what he himself called it) for young VI to practice fixing mechanisms. thats pretty much when he heard "Wait this cant be right" about his messed up physical state for the first time in a long while. little Peter didnt get to fix all of the things that were wrong with Jon's body, but he did manage to take care of some of them, which almost surprised Jon with how nice it felt to not hear pieces of broken gears rattle in his head every time he moved (who wouldve thunk)

ok now to more lighthearted stuff !!

Jon actually has a very strong bond with Sam ! He loves watching the mustached man work and sometimes follows him around, just enjoying his company. At first Sam thought that the tone-gold automaton was creepy and uncanny, but grew attached to him and his stupidity (/lh). i also think that Sam would be one of the few Walter workers who dont baby the Jon and actually treat him like they would treat any other robot :3

Also Jon just loves his robot family endlessly. shocker !! im not sure how explain it but i think hes the only one to look at other Walter automatons and go "bro i love them so much" at all times. in his head at least. obviously he teases them and argues with them but he wont think twice before accepting a hug from his siblings (except for Upgrade theyre rivals /j)

Speaking of Upgrade !! They feel the most sibling-ish to me (aside from Rabbit & The Spine) because they constantly poke fun at each other yet they still are willing to give each other help and comfort when needed. She once had to carry him all the way back to the Walter manor because they forgot to take some extra cans of crystal pepsi

Also Upgrade got in an accident once which caused her to have a fractured face for a couple of days, and Jon was there the entire time to comfort her and constantly tell her that shes still very pretty

Unlike with other robots, the food that Jon eats doesnt just fall through his uncovered jaw/run into his boiler or anything like this, instead it just. disappears. once he closes his mouth the food just vanishes into the unknown, yet Jon claims that he enjoys the process of "eating" (nobody knows how it works)

LITTLE GIRLS THAT GO TO SPG SHOWS LOVE HIM !! once the band finishes performing, he constantly gets pulled away by a small giggling pink-ish blob to join their tea party or hula hooping contest. thats why he has quite a knowledge on "girly" themes and educates other automatons on the matter

THATS IT FOR NOW TY FOR READING :3

[voiceofsword]

heyyyy just curious about your process with the hot limit niki? I wanted to try something similar for a later event and was curious how you knew how much dia & stuff you needed

hi! i did a lot of pre-planning for hot limit i think by late oct-early nov i was trying to figure out how much dia i would need, how many tickets i would use, etc. first of all you need to be very conscious of what you're trying to go for. if youre planning on getting an mv scr or also ranking, im just going to assume you are willing to spend An Amount of money on doing so because doing this kind of thing is almost impossible as f2p unless youve saved up for a ridiculously long time. more under the cut

i knew from the get go i was gonna rank top 10 so the resources i had very much reflected that. for reference these are how many dia and whistles i had (that one support pack was a LIFE SAVER – i think the whistles we got from that were around 20k+ dia worth, so in absence of that i wouldve actually bought the dia pack and started off with around 120k+). i didnt use any dia to scout, but i had 181 scouting tickets saved up for this (so around 63k worth) and probably bought a few more along the way. i only ended up getting a 75% bonus iirc (one copy of adonis 5* (20%), maxed nazuna 4* (50%), and one maxed 3* (5%) – my grind song at that point was oys so adonis was in the main team bc luckily he was brilliant, and nazuna and the 3* were in the support slots).

so in total, not accounting for event rewards, the dia i got from the monthly VIP or any subsequent tickets i might've purchased, i had around 180k worth of dia saved up for this event. if i had been planning for a podium spot (1-3) i probably wouldve tried to have somewhere closer to 300k. keep in mind, because ranking is fast-paced (i would also do this if i was going 22m – ill be doing that for ariadne and i'll try to keep a better documented run when i do so i can put out proper guides for anyone that might need it) you absolutely need to buy the VIP II pack. not for the whistles the whistles arent even a drop in the bucket for what youll be spending BP-wise but because the VIP II pack comes with an unlimited amount of doubling up which you will be doing after every single normal song play to keep up the pace and reach your daily goal (do NOT double up on the event song that is a scam and is infinitely worse than doubling up the normal song).

worth pointing out tho that i noticed a large enough gap between myself and the person after me so i stopped using my dia last few hours of the event – out of 102k i was left with around 34k. so in practice i used up all the whistles, all the scouting tickets, and around 68k dia – a total of 155k dia. depending on who youre trying to go for if youre ranking it might be more or less, for example, i wouldnt be caught dead ranking for any valk event not only bc im not a valkP but because valkP are. well. lets just say i think they're keeping enstars afloat. you'd probably have an easier time with less "popular" characters so that's something to account for. niki is definitely really popular eng-side so i kind of shot myself in the foot here but idc anything for the mippy.

for 22m i'd probably have around 10 ten pulls from tickets saved, and around 65k dia just for playing the event and bp consumption. you'd basically want around 90k dia worth saved up for any mv scr because a 60% bonus is ideal (maxed 4*+both 3*s maxed) and ten 10 pulls should cover that.

i would actually link my spreadsheet straight up if it wasnt such a mess, but just to kind of give an idea of what it was i'll attach a screenshot and kind of talk thru my thought process for what i needed to plan for.

please note the preplanning stuff on the bottom + righthand side. using a kr calculator i figured out what the optimal card placement would be in terms of when skills would go off, etc. i basically just copy pasted the middle part with the song as well as the ones that list oys and heartbeater for that – the calc provides your team potency, as well as the overall score. here's a link to the kr spreadsheet translation. then i would plug the song score number into the sakamoto calculator (disclaimer like the prior times ive linked it multiply dia values x10 because this is a jp event calculator) to get an approximation of how many event points i would get per song depending on how much bonus i would get. for this kind of thing, it's basically a prerequisite that you get 70% (one copy of the 5*, and maxed 4*) so i made approximations from 70-95 in case i got rly lucky. i didnt LOLLLLLL

since my initial goal was 35m my daily goal was around 4.375m with the exception of day 0 – i only really wanted to get to first copy niki that day. so all of my calculations in the bottom half are based on how many normal+event song plays it wouldve taken to reach that number, and how much time it wouldve taken me in minutes, all at 10bp for normal song plays. i think my calculations were literally just like. normal song plays = x and event = y and trying to figure out how much they'd equal if it was (points per song*x) + (points per song*y) = 4,375,000. i kind of bsed this i'm not particularly good at math so i really just kept trying numbers until i got an amount that felt right, and repeated that taking into account the different number bonuses. BUT!!!!!!! here's a big but.

i ended up throwing that all out the window first day LMFAO

i started filling out the top left table as soon as the event started and as you can tell my calculations immediately went out the window because i was like hm what if i rush 😭 and i guess it was okay b/c i ended up going to 39m to place where i wanted to place, anyways. instead of 4m i'd literally just do whatever and go 5-7m+ a day until the last few days. my dia expenditure was at around 8-12k daily which was about what i expected, the first few days i was using whistles so i guess the dia consumption wouldve been double that amount on those days if i didnt have those. i also just stopped giving a damn around day 6 because i forgor and i already kind of knew how much i was spending anyways, i was more attentive to the t10 places than anything else. my camera roll and my friend @spectralpooch can attest to that (i would wake up in a cold sweat bc i needed to check where i was. constantly). i honestly do recommend keeping track of the rankings if youre aiming for a specific stuff tho i swear studying ppls playing habits (?) really helps so you know when to grind more and when you can kind of relax.

i havent talked about event pass usage and to be fair this is up to the player. i personally didnt use event passes at ALL until the very last hour of the event bc idk strategy, i guess. i kind of expected more people to do what i did to shoot up in the rankings last second but it didnt really happen (i went from 29m to 39m in under like. 45 minutes because i had 55k passes saved up call me Albert Einstein). i only used 100 passes for starries every once in a while but that was mostly for the high score ranking because overall i think starries dont give a lot when youre already going for 22m, and i wasnt playing the event song otherwise. like you can see in my calcs i accounted for playing the event song everyday a set amount of times but in practice i did differently bc thats what worked for me and i didnt mind using more dia in the end if it meant i could have a higher rank in the end. it's totally up to preference

you will also rank up a ton. which isnt hugely helpful in the grand scheme of things but something to look forward to, i guess. i think i ranked up around 25? or so times throughout the event and i was already at rank 90 to begin with. anyways if youre able to keep a steady pace and are able to play regularly thats good. if not i recommend frontloading the event on days where you Can play. there's also the psychological toll of watching your dia go down to the tiniest fraction of what it was before.

tldr always play your songs at 10bp, have a shit ton of dia saved up (depending on what youre doing, if youre doing 22m have around 90k if youre doing more than that pray to god)

I HOPE THIS HELPED ANON i wish you the best of luck. im by no means an expert on this kind of thing but if you need anything else just lmk

[pendolinopowers]

while i adore hawkfrost to pieces i think he isnt really. Much. in canon warblors gatos. hes just kind of a bargain bin tigerstar with t-boy swagger. here's some assorted thoughts i have about hawkfrost and what i'd personally do to make him better

i think itd be cool if he had like a deep seeded fear of abandonment (sasha giving him and mothwing up to riverclan [shes right for that by the way im not disputing that. sasha has done nothing wrong ever], tadpole drowning, his surrogate mother suddenly turning heel and wanting nothing to do with him, him never being able to truly Fit In with the clans because its easier for the clans to forgive you for having a cat dictator as your dad than it is for them to leave you the fuck alone for not being 100% clanborn #CATXENOPHOBIA... etc etc) and this informs a lot of his decisions. mothpaw/wing pursuing being a clan healer couldve been perceived as her leaving him by hawkfrost coz they were both like gonna be warriors together or some shit. and thats why he faked the moth's wing omen to get her into power; like 33% of Evil Machinations 66% because he wants something to laud over her to make sure she doesnt leave him like everyone else has. i like to think hawkfrost also wouldve like developed a fear of intimacy and connection because of repeated abandonment which leads him to having an extremely hard time making friends because He Just Does Not Trust Them To Not Leave Him. so he pursues connection and attention and fulfillment via "safer" means (busting his ass to be a leadership figure in riverclan primarily and gaining admiration that way). also maybe hawkfrost would justify not having friends as like this weird superiority thing. Oh hes BETTER than everyone else theyre all SHEEPLE theyre BENEATH him. he doesnt NEED them (he does) (there is a deep pit in his heart that wont ever be filled)

and then this'd be more fucked when tigerstar waltzed right in and started training hawkfrost.

tigerstar wouldve capitalized on hawkfrost's isolation and insecurity to kind of mend him to what he wanted him to be (aka a war mongering shitheel) and hawkfrost buys into it 100000% because tigerstar is the first cat who actually Sought Out hawkfrost and tried to befriend him no strings attached (at least thats what it seemed like when tigerstar first began to visit hawkfrost and brambleclaw in their dreams to train them anyway.) tldr instead of being either Pretty Boy whos EVILLLLL but hes SLICK about it or Born Evil McGee (2) hes given more depth and hes now an extremely lonely pretty boy who is a gigantic fucking loser underneath his thin veneer of arrogance LOL

[bunny-heels]

Listen I know it's late so sorry for the inconvenience but. I wish to hear your gman shulathoi hcs and ideas because they're all SO GOOD and I'd love to hear your thoughts

OKAY. SO.

i got this ask at around 1:40 am. it is 8 am. im. :]

TL:DR for those who dont wanna read a fucking essay novel

Shu'us and Vortigaunts are actually allies and have an unspoken respect for one another

G-Man was born out of the Shu'us who escaped the Combine

he has over 600 siblings

parents are dead. very common for that to happen in their species after birth

seen as the leader for their plan because his mind was more complex and unpredictable compared to his siblings

he was only emotionally attached to his siblings and Elders for the longest time

likes birds because they remind him of his species

felt an emotional and spiritual attachment to Alyx specifically because she was seen as a golden child and had a very big imagination, just like him and how he was seen by the Elders

wanted to take Alyx into his care immediately after the Citadel blew but the Elders stopped that by having the Vorts step in

turned out it was because he had ideas of how to actually get her on board but he thought the Elders wouldve rejected them

Elders decide to listen to him and thats how HL:A happens

also hates Breen viciously because of how he treats Shu'ulathoi larvas with the Combine

also is already very used to humans hating him because hes aware he caused all this hell

just wants things to be better tbh but hes a scary looking man so you wouldnt know that at first glance

if you wanna skip that though and read my fuckin cringe narrative fic then go ahead :]

we're gonna start with stuff given to us by the breengrub twitter.

the Shu'ulathoi got infected by a virus which greatly affected the weaker of the species and submitted them to the Combine so the stronger ones had to flee.

and those stronger Shu'us probably went to go breed stronger Shu'us so that they don't get infected with the virus as well, so they won't be victims to the Combine.

it's also said that Shu'us can choose the form they have when they are being developed, so they have their own form when they are born.

when they're young they can only talk telepathically to other Shu'us, when they've matured they then can talk to others.

Shu'us aren't material-centered creatures, whatever they can come up with in their minds and imagination is bigger and better than anything physically given to them in the world.

whatever Shu'us have been bred now that aren't part of the Combine are not the bad guys, they aren't larvas who are hellbent on getting other races and species eradicated, and they aren't children forever. they can grow and learn and be their own person, mature and get better at their abilities, most of all they fight against the Combine Shu'us.

also, Elder Shu'us had already made acquaintance with Vortigaunts millions of years ago, due to their similarities. they have an unspoken alliance together because of it. it's why there is never really an ill will shown between them in the games.

going with that-

G-Man is one of those stronger bred Shu'us. He was born in a clutch of about 630+ siblings. all of which either reside secretly as any of the Earth's species, or work along side the Elder Shu'us. both parents are deceased.

G's siblings look up to him the most because he's had that view placed on him since before he was even hatched. that he'd be the one leading his race to freedom and to stop the Combine. he's been placed on a pedestal from a very young age.

and it's all because of his head. when his egg was laid and the Elders were able to look into his mind, he clearly wasn't anything like his siblings. his imagination and mind was like the crystal he sent to Xen, unpredictable and no telling what would happen in there.

what you saw in HL:A was merely a glimpse of what the inside of his head looked like, what it sounded like, what it felt like.

that's why you never see anyone else like him, because even though his siblings also have wild minds and have the abilities that he has, they can't do it like he can. the Elders loved all the children equally, but it was clear from the start that he was the golden child.

but none of his siblings hated him for it or anything. they saw him as a good thing. he was their leader and savior, jealousy was never something in their mind, they new better than that.

and everything was going very well, for all of them. they had their leader, they had their kind masters, they all had each other, and they had a battleground they could work with, which was Earth. which they probably went to around in the 1600s maybe? probably earlier than that. they've always been there, but hid it so well. IF someone did find out, it was dismissed as just being 'alien myths', so it was fine.

but a species with intelligence will, obviously, still have emotions and thoughts attached to them. it wasn't just G-Man that went through them, of course, his siblings also followed. those who went to Earth as humans grew to have friends and even families, albeit maybe with adopted children or none at all, the ones who were animals grew to love any owners or animal packs they had. and obviously, the ones who stayed with the Elders considered them to be like their parents, a huge family.

G-Man never really got close to any humans, however. not emotionally. he had people who considered him a 'pal' or a work buddy or acquaintance, people who would just ramble to him about their troubles like he was a statue, or enjoyed being with him on their breaks because he was calm. but he never personally considered them close to him. he felt family love for his siblings and friendship towards any species that were allied with them, and that was it. he did at least like birds though. especially crows. he thought they were lovely to watch and fun to look after in his spare time. but that was that.

not that he didn't like humans, but it was that he held his grip as a leader, he worked in the shadows, he saw humans like teammates and soldiers. he could befriend them, get comfy with them, but he had a job. it wasnt like a normal one, but it was a role he took nonetheless.

but whatever took place at Black Mesa felt like fate to him. not just with them experimenting on the borderworld, having connections to the military, being extremely influential on the government, among other factors. but the people. they were an extreme key factor. they way the staff, scientists, security guards, engineers, mechanics, all worked together and got to know one another, despite them being in such different sectors, levels, different branches of their work entirely, yet they so cleanly kept their works private and within their own areas, was extremely fascinating to him. like ants.

talking with a group of scientists while they worked in their labs, chatting with one of his assigned security guards while they walked him to the next sector, introducing himself to Breen and his associates. something about it, how they worked and lived together. it felt like home. like a human, more fragile version of home.

that's when he met the Vance family. obviously, with the sector of where the experiment was being conducted, he had to meet with the staff there regularly. so he became close to Kleiner and Eli as even a bit more than pals. Kleiner probably would've considered him a friend even, saying that he wished he could meet Gordon personally, he probably would like him. Barney too, maybe. Eli had no ill feelings towards G' at the time. he thought he was a decent guy, more friendly than most government officials were for sure. so friendly in fact that he even got to speak with Eli's wife, and mother of their only child, Azian.

she came around a few times during break hours at the cafeteria, and sometimes the labs. she was a kind woman, liked to sit next to Eli when they were at a table or stand next to him at the counters. and she was great to have conversations with. she herself was a scientists, but in a different branch of the facility, and was allowed to take time off of work to raise their child, same with Eli, but he was forced sometimes to get to work because otherwise he'd never leave their kid alone.

and speaking of the kid, G' did eventually meet her.

it was a day when Azian was visiting Eli at the labs, and she had no babysitter to look after their daughter. children were never allowed in the facilities, except in the more safer areas for high paying school fieldtrips. Azian and their daughter were an exception due to them living in the dorm houses of the facility plus being staff. G' was visiting the labs as well with Breen at the time, and walking in, that was when he saw an extremely small child standing at the legs of her parents.

Alyx.

Azian apologized for bringing her in, not knowing they were both coming, but Breen quickly assured her it was fine, as long as G' didn't see a problem with it, which he didn't. he didn't mind children, he had to look after a few of them in his time on Earth, and most times they enjoyed his company and he enjoyed theirs. he did a fairly small introduction to her, so that she wouldnt be too afraid of him.

but he obviously was taken aback when she ran up to him and began making circle around his legs, stopping at his feet and giving a very excited 'hello'. she made her way to a counter next to him and climbed it, with Azian and Eli obviously worried she would hurt herself, and she stood up top the counter, exclaiming how tall he was, and pale, and super official looking, and that he had weird eyes, and that his hand must hurt from holding his briefcase, and eventually Azian had to grab her in her arms and both her plus Eli apologized, saying that she was a very curious and energized child. Breen laughed it off, saying how it was sweet of her to be so open and friendly. G' merely looked at her with slightly big eyes, and a very slight smile, saying

"she's a very interesting child, definitely."

something along those lines. but his thought about her were way more than that. complex, confusing, all over the place, so many trains running at the same time in his head going in impossible ways.

the most weird one had to be that he felt a sort of similarity to her.

the rest of the times that he had seen Alyx, her personality was so strong. she was curious, inventive, interested in so many things, she loved to participate in anything, she had so many ideas of her own, and importantly, her parents looked very highly to her. Eli praised her constantly, not just for how cute she was, but her bright mind and high imagination. and Azian thought she was so incredibly talented, always catching her drawing and coming up with her own ways to have fun with anyone she was with, or if she was on her own. he even heard stories about how kind and helping she was towards others, adults and children alike. she never wanted anyone to feel alone or helpless, she loved making others happy and finding her own ways to bring their spirits up. her parents held her up in such high states, they already had plans on where she'd go for schooling, and said that, no matter what she took as a career, they knew she was going to be the best at.

it felt like there was nothing she could do to ever disappoint them.

maybe thats why he felt so similar to her.

maybe thats why he felt this connection, like they shared something within the both of them, mentally, spiritually.

G' already knew he was meeting his destination. the crystals, the military, the researchers. he felt something similar when he found Gina and Colette, who seemed attached to the hip and could rely on each other. when he found Adrian and had the feeling that he could be someone greater with his abilities and power to adapt to survive. he even felt this with Gordon, knowing his vocal disability and that he had the luck of some sort of deity.

but it felt more than that. it didnt just feel like he met fate, it felt like he'd crashed into it like a brick wall. that little girl, without herself knowing, was someone special and unique, was strong in will and mind, was stubborn and determined, was brave and filled with courage, and she barely backed down from anything. this wasn't just child naivety or blissful ignorance. this was more than that.

that was the key.

she was a key to everything he needed. that last little piece to complete his puzzle.

and he wasn't going to throw any of that away.

but he also didnt want to abuse it.

he stayed out of her sight the rest of her life after the Cascade. he never even showed up to her when Eli and her got to safety and where able to find the rest of their survived friends. it was all part of the plan, the big idea to take place. plus if he even tried to go near anyone, especially her, Eli would've tried to grab him by the throat. he could take him, but he didnt want the hassle, and didnt want Alyx to worry anymore for her fathers health than she already had to deal with.

but he kept a close eye on her and watched as she grew, physically and mentally, emotionally and socially. to say he was excited about it, it wouldnt be the right word, not his context. he was proud. he was so proud of her for turning out to be the best she could have become in the situation she was placed in. he couldnt have been happier about it.

but he did go on to wonder

if this hadn't happened, and there were no dangers out there for her to worry about, and he never was in her life, what she would've been like. obviously he knew that, he looked into it admittedly, he was curious. he saw that reality in everyone he took an interest in, he wanted to know, it was only fair.

it was more of how he personally felt about it. would he have been happy staying content with the family he had now, of tens of Elders and hundreds of siblings. or would he have eventually longed for something greater. something like Gina and Colette, they were not blood related but shared a special bond. something like Gordon and Adrian, finding others not part of his gene pool that could survive like they could.

something like Alyx, where it felt like he looked into a distorted fuzzy spiritual mirror of himself.

of course, the Elders knew about it, and although they were worried as to what that could mean for the plan, G' had assured them thoroughly that, no matter what he felt towards any of the humans he encountered, it would never disrupt the plan.

but the concern was still there. and it worsened when the Citadel exploded and they had Freeman in stasis. because it meant that Alyx was still there, untouched, not bothered by the flow of time or the aftermath of the explosion. that wasnt part of it, and they got wind that he was going to do something to Freeman, probably send him out on his own while he collected Alyx. but it wasnt the right time.

why he'd want to collect her at that time is a mystery. maybe he thought it was the only opportunity he had to get to her, to have her joins his side. but it wasnt the right way. his impulses got the better of him. so the Elders contacted the only ones who wouldve been able to do something about it. Vorts came in their aid, and Alyx and Gordon were out of his grasps until he was reminded of what he had to do.

he told them he thought there was no other way of getting at her. that any idea that he suggested wouldve been refused and that he had to do at least something. the Elders realized they really had no choice, and listened to whatever ideas he had in mind.

and thats how everything past Alyx's revival happened. it was all planned out and needed to be done.

he knew she wouldnt like it, wouldnt agree to it, wouldnt be able to understand why he had to do what was done, but he knew it was for the better, that she'd one day be able to see why somethings were the way they were, and why she needed to do what she'd done to that Advisor. one day she'd know, and she'd be in a better position, with those she loved by her side. and he knew he wasnt one of them. but he was content in knowing she'd be in her own life, with her own family, and happy. besides, he was used to not being liked, what with Eli no longer trusting him, and Breen hating him for bring Gordon back to destroy the Combine. although he shouldve seen that coming given he and that army were using his species like biological weapons, like they did with everything else.

but things would be different. one day. and he and the humans and vortigaunts and all other species wouldnt have to worry anymore.

one day.

[drabbles-of-writing]

What is Luz like in the adopted au? Would hunter not get her insistence to return to the human realm? I imagine it makes her quarrel in hunting palismans hurt more because she'd also be leaving behind her psuedo brother in that case. Just like, the angst potential of having everything going for her in the boiling isles and having a family there vs her mom in the human realm. I'd imagine hunter also really would not want to lose Luz either, so eda king and Hunter have a little struggle on that part

Hunter absolutely insisted on Luz going back to the human realm when they first met, but he knows that Eda has a soft spot for wayward kids (she already has 2 of them) so he didn't fight all that much when Eda let her stay. he somewhat ignored her existence for a little bit before getting dragged into her shenanigans, which resulted in that brief period where Hunter resented Luz's careless use of wild magic after he'd been studying for years and Luz just thought he plain hated her and they had a fight in my last post, but they made up no worries they came to an understanding that they're both just weirdos in their own realm and agree to work together on glyphs

but yeah, after that both of them pretty easily slip into a sibling kind of bond and have some Revelations. Luz's revelation that Hunter is like her pseudo-brother isn't all that grand, its basically the same as her realizing she loves Eda and King, its more of just a "huh. that was. not what i was expecting. weird" meanwhile Hunter is losing his mind because "oh god i have a sister now what the FUCK" which does Not bode well when Luz starts worrying about what her plan is when they get the portal to go back home. she doesn't want to leave everyone but she can't just abandon her mom, shes gotta be worried Sick. and Hunter Does Not want her to leave either, hes got this attachment issue you see wherein for a brief period of time he'd have thoughts like "well. what if i stop her from ever finding a portal" before he throws that shit out instantly he is Not doing that to Luz, and is very torn up that he even thought that in the first place.

this cultivates in some Character Development where when Luz realizes there's a Fake Luz with her mom and she begins to doubt and worry that maybe her mom would be better with the Fake Luz, after all thats the perfect normal daughter, and maybe its best if she just never goes back, Hunter is the one who grabs her like "okay first of all we are NOT having you give up after all that. second of all, your mom loves you, you said so yourself, and from the way you talk about her, i believe it. just because your not normal doesnt mean shes gonna love you any less. you,,,deserve to have a family who loves you like that. lord knows i wouldve loved to have it with the first one i got. also thats a changeling and we need to beat it up before it does something evil" yadda yadda. its sort of him encouraging Luz that doubles as his final goodbye and acceptance that he loves his little sister and if this is whats gonna make her happy, he can let her go. they end up finding a compromise so Luz can stay in both places but MAN did Hunter go through a lot emotionally

[mickadamz]

Scott seems interesting, is there any info on him? I'd love to hear it if it's not too much trouble, your art and ocs are super cool!

scott is certainly an interesting one.

Scott Eliott Barnet (the last name is spelled like that on purposem its funny if it doesnt match)

b. 1949 he's 6 feet exactly, dirty blonde hair, inexplicably pale white boy.

so scott is the youngest of three siblings, his older sister gladys and his older brother lyle. he was born in richmond VA, spending the first 8 years of his life there until his parents split and handed over custody to his grandparents in hunter's valley, WV. growing up was tense - scott was the only one who didn't know french (his brother and sister were born in france), his sister was already a grown adult and staying in her birth country, and his brother didn't particularly like him much.

his mother frances fitzpatrick is the daughter of molly and paul fitzpatrick. she moved to england in the 1920s due to an educational opportunity and never left. his father eustace barnet was born and raised in england and married frances, moving to . ironically. france, and then later all the way to the US again until he and frances split, to which eustace returned overseas and rarely saw his sons ever again.

frances stayed in richmond after transferring custody of scott to her parents (this happened in 1957), who had been taking care of her new younger brother. the adjustment was just as hard as it was to live with his birth parents, so scott experienced a lot of homesickness and attachment issues. however, emmett was able to get through to him as they were only a few years apart and emmett was pretty nonthreatening as a preteen. he was quiet and polite and scott warmed up to him almost instantly. once he got used to his grandparents acting as his guardians, he grew close to them as well, especially molly. while he refers to emmett as his brother, he simply refers to paul and molly as his guardians and/or grandparents.

scott has ADHD, which made him pretty hyperactive and restless, needing to let out excess energy through thins like leg bouncing and all sorts of shit that comes with having it. he was teased at school for not paying attention and often slacking with schoolwork.

at home, he grew up on one of the few farms in hunter's valley and was taught a lot of survival skills and other trades that come from working on a farm AND living in the mountains. paul taught the boys how to shoot a gun, how to hunt, set up animal traps, care for livestock (in their case, sheep), shearing sheep, skinning game, etc etc etc. all from a pretty young age.

growing up he and emmett had a sheepdog named martie, along with a barn cat named . well. barnaby. scott got along best with barnaby.

growing up, scott would often see emmett's friends coming over and would often try to get friendly with them and impress them - due to the ~5 year age difference he was usually waved off politely. he did have friends of his own, but scott still thought emmett's friends wouldve been cool to hang out with.

then emmett moved out for college, travelling up to some place in the NY-NJ-CT area. and scott was starting high school. so that was an interesting four years - he .. certainly discovered some things about himself. martie passed away and barnaby was getting old, as were paul and molly. scott was worried he'd end up being the one to take care of them, but plans changed when emmett got engaged to his college girlfriend susanne.

so that scott could find his place in life, emmett and susanne planned to move into the farm house with molly and paul - it was big enough to host the family they planned, so scott was starting to plan for college and moving out earlier than intended. he was excited, though.

he was of course the best man at his brother's wedding at the fresh age of 17 years old. a year later, his nephew jeremy fitzpatrick was born and scott had to haul ass out of that house.

i don thave many details on his life throughout the 70s aside from scoring some place in the middle of the woods, adopting his one-eyed cat haybale, and making friends with more people. he had a pretty generic office job until he was hired by hal espenson and colbert adams at wilderness pizza (he became general manager pretty quickly. he was qualified, not bcuz of bias. or at least not entirely from bias lOL). he was also being the Fun Weird Uncle towards jeremy.

in early 1978 is when he met mike. mike was a young man at a bar and they'd gotten a bit flirty with one another. mike is a trans man and at the time was still pre-everything, scott was one of the first people to just accept that and go with it and they hit it off very quickly and got.................intimate. a few times.

but uh oh, whats this, surprise baby! mike isnt sure if he wants to keep it, while scott (at the time) was NOT prepared to be a father, either, so initally they planned to keep it secret and get rid of it. however, mike's parents noticed. his father dale insisted on a shotgun wedding, while his mother aggie was .. unsure how to feel. mike and scott often wen tback and forth on keeping the baby, scott still not feeling like he was ready, but that didnt mean he was going to bail. somewhere around this time is when they found out that mike (21) was younger than scott thought/scott (29) was older than mike thought

as mike was still legally a woman, they were able to get married and moved into scott's house. scott had to teach mike's so-cal city boy ass about mountain life and hunting and woodchopping and shit like that. the longer the two spent time together, the closer they got, the more scott got attached to their kid, and the more .. in love they fell.

their son robby was born in september 1978. scott got attached immediately. he helped mike transition asap and despite everything that comes with being a gay couple in the 80s, they were ready to face that together. it is stressful and awkward at times, but they make it work and found how to stay happy.

scott and his family lived a pretty decent, quiet life until may 1987 - scott had almost died trying to protect the children from james summesr and lost his left leg to severe injuries. he suffers from ptsd and some survivor's guilt as certain other staff members did not make it. one of his heaviest triggers is axes, which is frustrating because he cant even stand the sound of wood-chopping for a long time. and his family needs firewood, which he would usually chop himself. or mike would.

thankfully, the millers were kind enough to donate extra wood, as they lived close and were already decent friends. maxwell (the oldest son) chopped the wood for the barnet family and delivered it - scott was heavily appreciative and always gave something back in return.

gradually scott went from a wheelchair, to crutches, to getting adjusted to a prosthetic. he adapted quickly and was back to hunting and working as well. the rest of his life going forward was pretty alright, even when WP was on its way back towards reopening. his relationship with mike stayed strong and their son grew up happy.

the only notable tragedies afterwards were old people passing away (paul in 82, molly in 95, and haybale in 2006) was a theatre fire in 2008 that nearly got robby killed, though thankfully he survived. otherwise, mike and scott still live in their woods home and have been doing just fine.

he's a necessity hunter, by the way. he uses every part of an animal that he can, selling the rest to friends or someone else entirely. he's made some neccessities out of animal furs and bones, cooked meats, and probably made some other wacky shit. hed also definitely be a whittler. he also knows how to play the saxophone, has a TINY bit of a stutter (brain goes faster than his mouth), shares his cowboy interest with colbert, and is fluent with ASL given he's had to use it since 1980 to talk to emmett. scott fears consequences so he doesnt typically stand up for himself. however in the work environment he WILL call your ass out hes not a total doormat.

scott's one of my favorites, hes kinda fun to think about and mess around with i like him . woodsman.

[expfcultragreen]

Yknow what the guys who defend onision but wont really say why they take it so personally that he's "not doing anything illegal", remind me of?

The time one of my bosses at the second headshop i worked at decided to ask me whether i felt like his relationship of 12 years was sus because, and this is his version, when it started he'd been in his 20s and was insecure about his weight so he decided to manipulate a highschooler in his social circle into dating him, and now she's his commonlaw spouse but their relationship is feeling like, shes sleepwalking through it as more of a habit than anything else, because (and this was what he "wanted to get my take on") maybe it was never really entirely consensual to begin with, because it had started out as a sort of pityfuck under-emotional-duress situation (and snowballed into a not pityfucking often situation, from what i gathered).

Again, thats how he told it. And i put quotes around wanted to get my take, because i didnt/dont at all believe that he cared about my opinion of his hyper conventional pussy entrapment scheme of getn'em young. I think he wanted to frame it as bad as possible to see whether i would say something self-sabotagingly feministy or bite my tongue like a good minwager. And if i did the second thing, he wanted it to bother me to do it, which was what the whole setup was about. I intuited this at the time and launched into what was, for him, an embarrassingly impassioned polemic about male body image and how it was very feminist of him to acknowledge his internalized self-doubt. He tried to redirect the topic, looking unhappy, and reminded me about the thing where he had pressured a teenage virgin into an unwanted relationship. I said presumably she'd have left by now if she didnt value the relationship. This annoyed him because his whole premise was, he had dissolved her free will and wasnt that shocking to me.

I explained that I'd broken up with a 20 year old when i was 16, in a similar situation, ergo it seemed reasonable to assume she was in it for the longhaul. i was playing it off like i thought he wanted to be cheered up friendlylike about his super normal relationship, and he reacted like that was the wrong reaction when its the only not-unsavory way to take it. In writing this it sounds half like he was trying to see if I'd flirt with him if he made it seem like his relationship sucked. Again, it would've been to see what i did, given the opportunity. Testing me, baiting certain avenues like a lab tech with a rat in a maze, watching it choose. Waiting to slide a little wall in behind it after a wrong turn, to watch it be stuck. I figured he wouldve rejected any advance he successfully solicited, getting more out of that. But of course, he was angry that he apparently wasnt worth putting up with for whatever shift priority options might be attached.