#why does my drawing looks like a bad bitch in 2000s movie

[cla-oh]

Alucard Emery

🍷This attitude is broad by Alucard when Kell is talking to him🍷

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #424

“got no superspeed, but i’m running this town”

What is the first line in the song you are currently listening to/last listened to? "I’m running out of time; I hope that I can save you somehow.” Are you an easy lay? Not in the slightest. What was the last reason you cried? Life and how inexplicably I'm failing at it. What’s hurting you right now? More like what isn't. Do you remember important dates? Only some. I'm awful with numbers. Do you own anything with the Playboy Bunny on it? No. Do you own a bean bag chair? No. Have you ever played Gamecube? At a friend's house. Have you ever played with toy cars before? Yeah, with my nephew. He LOVES monster trucks. Have you ever touched a caterpillar? Oh, definitely. I loved picking them up as a kid. What is your favorite kind of salad? Just plain 'ole iceberg lettuce with ranch, really. Are you any good at Ping-Pong? Holy hell no, I SUCK. What was/is your high school mascot? A firebird. Can you make cute little animals by folding paper? God no, I'm awful at origami. Like, I have zero concept of how to do it. What kind of music do you like? Various types of metal and rock. Do you like apple juice? Yeah. Do you like to draw? It's funny, like I do love it, but I barely ever do it because I get frustrated when I can't get what's in my head onto paper. What do you put on your french fries? Generally ketchup. How many people can comfortably sleep in your bed? Two. Do you want to have a big family in the future? I don't want kids, just pets. Probably a lot of pets. Is Vegas one of your must-see places? No. Pet rat: yay or nay? I've had multiple pet rats and I adore them. I've come to find I'm not the best at keeping rodents because changing the bedding so much sucks ass, but nevertheless they are fantastic pets for people who don't mind the maintenance. Would you call yourself a writer? Written any stories lately? Yes. I haven't written in a while, though. I just have absolutely zero motivation to RP. Are you good at reading people's body language? I probably overanalyze it, really. Ever threatened somebody and actually went through with it? I don’t threaten people. Does holding newborn babies scare you? Extremely. I feel like they're made of thin glass. Piercings: yay or nay? I LOVE piercings. They add an interesting touch to your appearance and to me just (usually) look super cool. There are very few piercings I don't like. Do you have a collage of pictures in your bedroom? No, but I want to make a motivation board very badly. Favorite Nicholas Cage movie? Ghost Rider. Were video games better in the 1980s, 1990s, or the 2000s? Why? '80s games bore me honestly, but I love some '90s and many 2000s games. I've got to say ultimately newer games win, because of graphics increasing immersion (no, I do not whatsoever believe graphics are everything or always make a better experience), voice acting improving immensely, etc. Have you ever watched The Beverly Hillbillies? Yes! Mom loves it so I used to watch it a lot with her as a kid. I'd still watch it. Did your mother ever sing lullabies to you when you were younger? Yes. Are you ready to get out of this town? I HATE THIS TOOOWN, IT'S SO WASHED UUU-UP, AND ALL MY FRIENDS DON'T GIVE A FUUU-UUUUUCK god hell yes get me the fuck out. Do you know anybody that is pregnant right now? Quite a few. What are you listening to? "Superluv” by Shane Dawson. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? No. Does your father have any facial hair? Yes. Did your grandparents teach you anything? My maternal grandmother, the only one I really ever knew, taught me I'm a disappointment, pretty much. And a bitch. Do you want/have a Bachelor’s degree? It'd be nice to have one, but I don't, and I'm not pursuing it again. I've wasted enough of my parents' money. Are you into superheroes? Who’s your favourite? Not seriously, but I enjoy them well enough. I like Spider-Man. What did you have for dinner last night? Mom ordered Mexican. I had two shrimp and cheese quesadillas and rice with cheese. Do you think you look similar to your siblings? No. Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Did you like it? Yeah, it's fun. Do you know your best friend’s middle name? Yes. Are you close to your father? I am. Have you ever had a serious conversation with your dad? Yeah. Would you rather have long or short hair? I enjoy having short hair way more. Who did you go/plan on going with to prom? I went with Jason twice. Have you ever been to a debate and speech tournament? Hell no, and I never would. Arguing makes me cry lmao. Are you someone who enjoys stand-up comedy? Yep. What’s one thing that scares you about living alone and being independent? A lot of things do, but one thing in specific that I fear is that I let the house become cluttered and messy. I'm so shit at cleaning, especially when I'm depressed. It's why my own bedroom isn't even fully decorated, and we've lived here since I wanna say last November. If someone offered you an all-expenses paid trip to one European country, where would you go and why? Germany, 'cuz I enjoy the culture and would love to try some foods and visit places. Have you ever won anything on the lottery? No. Are you interested in the World Cup? I couldn't possibly care less. What’s the longest time you’ve ever been on a plane for? Idk. Do you let your hair dry naturally or do you towel-dry it or blow dry it? I use a towel to dry it some, then let it really get the job done naturally. How many of the Harry Potter books have you read? None. Who last gave you their number? When I posted on Facebook about going on a mental health hiatus, my good friend Alon messaged me her number if I ever needed to talk. I was really thankful. Are you often the last one to understand a joke? Honestly yeah. I'm slow to grasp a lot of things. Your first black eye: Did you give it or get it? Never gotten or given one. Have you ever slept in a tent, indoors or out? Yes to both. Are you mad right now? I'm annoyed, but not mad. Are you allergic to nuts or dairy products? No. Has anyone ever called the cops on you? No. Do you ever actually drink milk alone? Yeah, I love milk. Do you have a sensitive gag reflex? It is EXTREMELY sensitive. What was the last situation to upset you? I'd rather not talk about it. Have you ever had an online argument? I have been heavily active on the Internet since I was like, 11. Maybe younger. I have been in plenty. Are you at risk for any medical issues? A lot of heart problems run in my family. I'm also suspicious I may develop diabetes, which also runs very heavily in my family. What were you doing at 7:00 a.m.? Surprisingly, I was asleep. Do you own a robe? No. What would you consider your life to be? A wreck. What is your favorite mark of punctuation? I like question marks. Who knows your biggest secret? Nobody. Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Probably not. How do you know? I just doubt it. I'm so unlikable right now. Could you go a day without eating? I don't think I could. I do not react to stomach pain well, and that includes when I'm hungry. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? None. What’s your favorite drink? Strawberry Sunkist, but I don't allow myself to have it. I will DESTROY a can or five of it. Who was the last person that texted you? My mom. What are you craving? Nothing really right now. What was the first thing you ate today? An everything bagel. What was the last type of meat you ate? Pork. Have you taken any medication today? Yeah, I take some prescription meds in the morning and at night. Have you ever been to Hawaii? No, but that'd be cool. Do you know anyone who has diabetes? My mom, for one. Have you ever made a boy cry? Sadly. Who are you talking to? Nobody. Do you think you’ve ruined your chances with someone? Absolutely. Your parents split; would you want to live with your mom or dad? My parents are divorced, and I stayed with Mom. Would you strongly prefer to go out with someone of your own skin color/racial background? I couldn't care less. For you personally, is abortion an option in case of an accidental pregnancy? For others, absolutely. It's your right. For me myself, it's possible, idk. If I was God forbid raped, I probably would have an abortion. If I accidentally got pregnant in a healthy relationship, I'd probably have a "too bad, so sad" outlook where I'd suck it up and go through with the gestation because having sex and risking pregnancy was my own decision. Even if I'm pro-choice, I think I'd feel too guilty aborting, especially with the child being someone's I love. Is it a requirement that you communicate every day with your significant other (via phone, text, in person, whatever)? IF I had an s/o, no. I like to, but sometimes you just want space. Are you fetish-friendly? I'm not gonna lie, some fetishes are just too fucking weird for me. I TRY not to judge, because I doubt you can actually help fetishes, but I inevitably do sometimes. If you're asking would I engage in fetishes because my s/o liked them, possibly, but it would really depend on what it is. Have you ever cosplayed? No. I think cosplay is really cool, though. Do you support the exploration of outer space? If yes, would you consider taking a trip into space, or even to another planet? As creatures who crave knowledge and understanding of our universe, I do support space exploration, but I do NOT believe we should be spending as much money as we do on it. Taking care of the planet we're actually on is far more important imo. I wouldn't personally go to outer space. Is it okay for men to wear makeup? What’s your opinion of male crossdressers? It's totally okay! Guys with makeup can be super attractive. Crossdressers, too. Go for it. You’re in a new relationship and your partner admits that they have had 14 sexual partners. Does that sound like a lot to you? For me personally, yes. I don't even know if I'd date someone with 14 past sexual partners, honestly. I would admittedly question their loyalty. Would you let your children under 13 watch movies with full nudity? No. If someone asked you, “What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?” would you know the answer right away? I would. What is your opinion concerning strip clubs? Not my scene at all, but so long as you respect the dancers, whatever. You do you.

[fruitbur]

(bursts into inbox) thAT ASK MEME WITH ALL THE OCS U TAGGED (or just pick and choose but i genuinely would love to know all of them if u want afhdsgjsdhdjd) - darkwarfy

i'm going to start with the easy ones and end with the ones i haven't even talked about to you.

Red-

Full Name: Aaron Cupid Williams

Gender and Sexauilty: Male (trans) and Demisexual

Pronouns: He/Him

Ethnicity/Species: Tribrid of Fae, WARLOCK, and Demon.

Birthplace and Birthdate: His birthplace is unknown to HIM so therefore it won't be stated. he was born on Halloween but the year is also unknown.

Guilty Pleasures: Dancing and Singing. his mother never allowed him to do anything fun when he lived with her (besides reading) so he hides that side of him.

Phobias: Spiders, water, and the dark.

What They Would Be Famous For: besides being the only one of his kind? his singing, there is just something about it.. i wonder what?

What They Would They Be Arrested For: destroying prisons and freeing wrongly captured supernaturals.

OC You Ship Them With: No one, Red is too young to date throughout most of the stories he is in.

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Iris (his mom) or Icarus

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Favorite movie would be Shark Boy and Lava Girl, he loves kids movies. Book genre is sci-fi or adventure stories.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: For movies it has to Coraline and book cliche is the hero or hero's lover/bestfriend dying for the greater good.

Talents and/or Powers: Talents would be as i said before his dancing and singing. his powers? jesus Red has a LOT. He can do basic magic, he can light himself on fire in a blue magic flame before it spreads around himself. telepathy, teleportation, and "invisibility" (that's more lore stuff) not really a power but he can control his appearance (his was born with baby blue skin and light purple hair but his mother taught him to hide that side to blend in with humans) he has a ribbon spell that he can call them to wrap his wrists and his controls them (i.e pulling and wrapping up his targets) he has another spell that does the same thing called flower power (this with rose vines) that he uses to hurt someone if need be. okay this is getting too long but he has more.

Why Someone Might Love Them: He is such a sweet kid and lights up the rooms he is in. you can't help but love him.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: Red can be a little troublemaker and cause chaos for fun. which gets annoying when shit goes down.

How They Change: Red always thought he was just a weapon, a tool for a war that was never coming. as he grows up and lives on his own with Angel, he changes to be someone full of love for not just others, but himself.

Why You Love Them: Red was my first ever OC. He has been through so much changes and growth and i think i finally love him as he is now.

Angel - (i'm gonna shorten the questions so this doesn't get too long)

Full Name: Nope- that's lore and i wanna tell you that Later.

Gender: Female (Trans), Lesbian.

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: loosely based on the mayans, a necromancer, and a clockwork angel necklace.

Birthplace: Her village in that universe's Tulum. Birthdate... she's existed for over 2000 years, who knows how old she is truly.

Guilty Pleasures: Gardening and painiting.

Phobias: the water. just- the water.

Famous For: bringing the dead back to life with ease.

Arrested For: Killing witches who mess with Red.

OC Shipped: I ship her with Niko, two crazy girls who just want bodies.

OC Murder: Iris again, or Lexi (not doing her, she isn't too important rn)

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: she doesn't watch movies that often because she is ya know.. trapped. but when Red can watch something other than kids movies, Angel finds herself loving romance movies, hasn't picked a favorite yet. Books though? cook books! she enjoys learning about food even though she can't eat.

Least Favorite: Horror, just like Red. or anything with water. nothing against mermaids or wildlife, but she's seen enough of the sea for 10 lifetimes at least. Cliche would be evil necromancers, screw that.

Talents: Her painting are to die for. powers??? now this is going to be fun. Angel can bring back the dead, use her magic to move things and grab people. over the course of her time trapped, she has learned how to possess whomever wears her, which leads to some fun beat downs with both Red and Angel working as a single unit. oh did i mention Angel really loves to mess around with blood magic? she was the only one who was able to master it before the witches attacked.

Love Them: Someone would love her becauss how passionate and nurturing she is. also because she enjoys cracking jokes in the safety of the clockwork during the WORST of times.

Hate Them: the witches hated her for her powers and that she was "sick" in the head for enjoying blood magic.

How They Change: Angel had to learn to live as a soul for so long, slowly forgetting what it means to be a living person, that has to be bad for her mental health.

Love Them 2: Angel has become one of my favorites because of how much i've put thought into who she is.

Niko -

Name: she still hasn't came up with a last name, might just take Angel's :)

Gender and Sexuality: Nonbinary and pansexul

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: Biracial, Japanse and Guyanese, a life sized Drawing Mannequin.

Birthplace: a black market factory that makes life sized objects to be used by witches. Birthdate, before 2016, at least.

Guilty Pleasures: ripping the skin off of witches for shit and giggles. oh and grooming dogs!

Phobias: none, nothing phases her.

Famous for: her spine chilling laugh.

Arrested for: all the murders she's done, that is, if she was ever caught.

OC Shipped: Angel of course.

OC Murder: any and all witches, Lexi, Syd.

Favorite Movie/Book: nope and nope! too busy living in the moment to sit down in one place, besides not have real hands. so the next question is useless.

Talents: is flawlessly ripping skin off of a living person a talent? Niko would say so. besides just living, Niko can change her shape into any type of doll/mannequin drawing or otherwise to hide in stores.

Love Them: she is a funny gal! creepy as shit but loyal once you've gained her trust.

Hate Them: "she. skins. people." -Syd at least 20 times.

How They Change: goes from a manic doll to a somewhat a stable person with the power of lOvE.

Love Them 2: She is perfect for Angel and that's enough for me.

Trinity -

Name: Trinity Wither Lakes

Gender: Female, Bisexual.

Pronouns: she/her.

Eithnicity/Species: Biracial, Polynesian, and African American. Werewolf and Siren.

Birthplace: Kaneohe, Hawaii. 3/17/1999.

Guilty Pleasures: Running in the woods in the middle of the night.

Phobias: being half wolf, she fears anything with silver, oh and blood.

Famous for: her speed.

Arrested for: graffiti and other forms of vandalism.

OC Shipped: Abigail. (not doing her either, sorry!)

OC Murder: Lexi, Raph, her grandparents.

Favorite Movie: Twilight and The Twilight Saga. she loves quoting the movies and books to piss everyone off, making it her favorites. Cliche would enimes to lovers.

Least Favorite: The Princess Bride, she just doesn't Get It. Cliche would be anything with angry werewolves or evil sirens. "we aren't your tropes, humans" -Trinity everytime she reads or watches something with a sexy but evil siren.

Talents: all the perks of being wolf and siren, nothing to add really.

Love Them: she is headstrong and makes for a good leader for a rebellion.

Hate Them: too loud, doesn't back down from a fight. will not shut up if someone is wronging her in public.

Change: she goes from the sheltered girl from her family's home in California to the loud rebel in Texas.

Love Them 2: Trin is like me, i don't know when to quit. if someone wrongs me i will scream it from the roof tops before i let them get away with it.

Syd -

Name: Syd Brimstone Lockwood

Gender: Female, Bisexual.

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: Caucasian, human.

Birthplace: Boston, Massachuestts. 4/20/1999

Guilty Pleasures: shitty reality tv, she lives for the drama. also magic, she has always been skeptical of the existence of magic so she spends much of her time researching and tracking down sightings of magic usage.

Phobias: None that i can think of.

Famous for: her deadpan delivery and humor/her resting bitch face.

Arrested for: stalking "known" supernaturals.

OC Shipped: Ainsel.

OC Murder: anyone who she follows would kill her, mainly Lexi or Raph though.

Favorite Movie: IT (2017) or a Purge movie. favorite cliche would be any boring, human trope. so like a coffee shop au.

Least Favorite: Harry Potter (okay she really enjoys the third one but she'd never admit it), cliche, would be magic. (she doesn't hate it, just that she doesn't believe.)

Talents: breaking and entering. "that's a fucking talent and you know it, Ains! i've never been caught in my life." -Syd. she is human so no powers.

Love Them: over protective of the ones she loves. would fight anyone to save Ainsel and she'd win.

Hate Them: her skepticism makes it hard for her to make friends and tears groups apart.

Change: after she meets a certain someone, she finally lets go of her overbearing skepticism and borderline hatred.

Love Them 2: i just love her character.

Ainsel -

Name: Ainsel Raven James

Gender: Female (Trans), Asexaul.

Pronouns: she/her.

Ethnicity/Species: African American (she has albinism), human.

Birthplace: Middletown, New York. 5/18/2002.

Guilty Pleasures: painting on herself, walking in the rain with no umbrella.

Phobias: fire. "You can't control it Sy-Sy!!! what if you drop that match huh?! we could go up in flames! i don't want to burn away!"

Famous For: her looks, or her happy go lucky nature.

Arrested For: Jay walking to get away from a monster or someone chasing her and Syd.

OC Shipped: Syd.

OC Murder: Lexi or Raph.

Favorite Movie: Tangled. Cliche, a happy ending.

Least Favorite: Monty Python and The Holy Grail. Cliche, a dog dying.

Talents: Her impeccable timing, always seeming to get Syd out of trouble before she is caught. "Nuh uh! none of that miss "breaking and entering!"" -Ainsel. Again a human so no powers.

Love Them: her optimism and acceptance of magic and the supernatural. how she loves everyone so fiercely and stands for what is right.

Hate Them: how happy and full of light she seems to be.

Change: She starts to stick up for herself more and learns how to fight back.

Love Them 2: i love how happy she is, i want to be that comfortable in my own skin like her.

Sebastain -

Name: Sebastain A. Montague

Gender: Male, Aromantic, Asexaul.

Pronouns: he/him.

Ethnicity/Species: Caucasian, Vampire and Sorcerer.

Birthplace: Venice, Italy. 7/25/1462

Guilty Pleasures: Ballroom Dancing. Drinking straight from the pulse.

Phobias: the sun, even if he can walk in the daylight.

Famous For: his charm and "naturally" good looks.

Arrested For: a string of murders in the east coast of the US.

OC shipped: no one, the only thing close to a relationship he has is his friendship with Red long into the future.

OC Murder: Syd tries, but she finds it's hard to kill something already dead.

Favorite Movie: he has lived for so long, he finds his memories are better than what you'll find in those picture shows. he does enjoy reading poems by Edgar Allan Poe or any of Dickinson's works. (skipping the next question)

Talents: Dancing and cooking. Powers, compulsion (vampire mind control), and the basic skillsets a sorcerer has.

Love Them: his charm, though their love is misplaced, is appreciated.

Hate Them: he is a world class bastard who knows how to use his charms to get what he wants, you.

Change: He learns to be nicer to people and not view them as just a food source.

Love Them 2: he is one cocky bastard but i wouldn't trade him for any other bitch out there.

Irri -

Name: Iradeseca the Faithful

Gender: Genderfluid, pansexual. (in a poly relationship).

Pronouns: any, but mainly goes by she/her.

Ethnicity/Species: she's.. she's an alien boss. (oqjsgsyisha) anyways she is from a race called The Marked Ones. i'll tell you all about them soon. Irri is of the Shifter classification, and is the last pure blood shifter left.

Birthplace: their (the girlfriends/partners) home planet, in the palace of the shifters. (no date because lore reasons, this will be the same for her girlfriends.)

Guilty Pleasures: her partners 😏

Phobias (more like fears): explosions, drowning, losing her girlfriends.

Famous For: her shifting ability.

Arrested For: well... L O R E

OC Shipped: Betrix, Calenni, and Desa.

OC Murder: lore

They are aliens, so i'm skipping these questions.

Talents: her speed. she is a shifter, so she can shape shift into her true form (a ice fox) and into her more humanesque form. (having two arms and two legs)

Love Them: her mysterious but gentle presence

Hate Them: her special skill and the fact she is dating Calenni and Desa in particular.

Change: Irri changes from being controlled by an oppressive regime.

Love Them 2: She is my second oldest oc, she will always have a special place in my heart.

Betrix -

Name: The Stoic Betrix

Gender: Genderfluid, pansexaul. (in a poly relationship)

Pronouns: she/her or he/him.

Ethnicity/Species: The Marked Ones, Bender classification.

Birthplace: on their home planet, in a abandoned temple of the benders.

Guilty Pleasures: smiling and being happy.

Phobias: being alone and losing his girlfriends.

Famous For: her calm, unphased demeanor.

Arrested For: same reason as Irri and Desa.

OC Shipped: Irri, Calenni, and Desa.

OC Murder: WOAH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, LORE!!!

Talents: being able to take everything thrown at him without saying a word (punches, kicks, fire, etc etc). bending people in half without moving a muscle. being a bender means she can bend spaces and minds with no difficulty, leading him to control the person's mind.

Love Them: No matter what happens to her, Betrix always gets back up with twice the amount of power and the same amount of complaints, zero. a man of little words unless he is with his partners.

Hate Them: WHY WON'T SHE STAY DOWN? STOP FIGHTING ALREADY!!! dating Calenni and Desa

Change: Betrix learns how to open up more and use her words because she is allowed to speak.

Love Them 2: She is a badass. who needs to speak when you can just knock the asshole over with one push.

Calenni -

Name: Calenni the Creative

Gender: Genderfluid and pansexual. (in a poly relationship)

Pronouns: she/her and sometimes called they/them by Betrix.

Ethnicity/Species: The Marked Ones, Creator classification.

Birthplace: On their home planet, on her family's estate.

Guilty Pleasures: being taken care of, not always the one leading things.

Phobias: bugs, filith, losing her partners.

Famous For: looking like a flower or a tiny pixie creature.

Arrested for: nothing because of lore reeasons

OC Shipped: Irri, Betrix, and Desa.

OC Murder: lore.

Talents: everything she creates is one of a kind and priceless. She is a creator so she is able to make whatever comes to mind with just a tap of her fingers. and is always changing how she appearance due to creating new shapes and forms.

Love Them: she speaks out against what was happening with the creators and risked her lives for her partners, nearly dying for them.

Hate Them: didn't sit back and be the little princess she was supposed to.

Change: learned how to be independent while being able to depend on her loves.

Love Them 2: Calenni said eat the rich even if that means eat me too.

Desa -

Name: Desa the Kind

Gender: Genderfluid and pansexual (in a poly relationship)

Pronouns: any but mainly she/her.

Ethnicity/Species: The Marked Ones, Destroyer classification.

Birthplace: on their home planet, in the woods far away from civilization.

Guilty Pleasures: creating stuff!!! being able to just live and feel love and acceptance.

Phobias: destroying the ones she loves. being alone, losing her partners.

Famous For: being understanding and not judgmental.

Arrested for: lore- but also just for being caught with Calenni.

OC Shipped: Irri, Betrix, Calenni.

OC Murder: lore, but anyone but her partners.

Talents: Her forgiveness. Being able to destroy whole planets by just being on them. Detroyers can eliminate anything in their paths with little to no struggle.

Love Them: ??? what is not to love??? she is such a friggin sweetheart who wants to spend all eternity with her sweethearts.

Hate Them: being born.

Change: girl has it ROUGH let me tell you. but in the end it'll all work out and a much happier, healthier Desa will make it out on the other side.

Love Them 2: "all i want is to love what i can not destroy with a single touch, then and only then, i'll be at peace" -Desa.

BONUS!!!! BONUS ROUND!!!!

Iris -

Name: Iris the Lurer

Gender: Female and Straight (😔)

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: Greater Demon (dark gray/light purple complexion)

Birthplace: in the demon realm, before mankind was created.

Guilty Pleasures: using her kids as weapons to orchestrate a war. oh and 90 Day Fiance on TLC.

Phobias: love and weakness from her children.

Famous For: her natural rainbow hair.

Arrested For: mass genocide.

OC Shipped: Icarus (two slimey bastards)

OC Murder: ANGEL AND RED LIKE THE BAD BITCHES THEY ARE 😤💯

Favorite Movie: The Birdcage. Cliche would be main villainess destroying the land.

Least Favorite: The Hunger Games. "so over rated and boring CGI, why do humans enjoy this?" -Iris

Talents: being the worst mother alive, making your child into a monstrosity to benefit your delusions. her powers are mostly mental manipulation and normal demon theatrics.

Love Them: being confident, commanding, and full of herself.

Hate Them: everything she has ever done after breaking free from the demon realm with Icarus.

Change: maybe if she gets murdered she'll finally change.

Love Them 2: i like working with a villain, morally gray character like her.

THIS TOOK ALL DAY WOANSGEUOWMSB I HAVEN'T LEFT THIS TAB ALL DAY.

[whatisthisnonsense]

Okay you know what I am gonna talk shit in a proper well-thought-out manner because I’m salty and stressed and I may as well channel it into something fun like yelling about anime in an over the top display of angery as befitting this cesspool of a social media platform. This being said I’m gonna do it under a read-more ‘cause most of ya’ll ain’t got time for no negative nonsense and some of you genuinely enjoy Tri, and you know what, I respect you, you’re valid.

Okay so to explain how much I want to throw Bandai into a dumpster, we first need to go back and explain Adventure and the fiasco that was 02.

Digimon Adventure came out in 1999 (March 6th in japan and August 14th in the states, which coincidentally means this show came out exactly on my sixth birthday!) and lasted for about a year, with 54 episodes. The plot was simple; seven punkass grade schoolers turned out to have been chosen by fate to defend the Digital World, an alternate plane of reality created by various forms of digital information (the wee baby internet of the era, for example), mostly to kind of justify Bandai’s V-Pet (Tamogatchis but they’re gross and can FIGHT) and sell toys. So like, Transformers but with more human characters and kickass monsters and sometimes a lesson about the Power Of Friendship. Later, they find out they were chosen because they saw their neighborhood get wrecked by two monsters and Inexplicably Forgot This, as well as the fact there’s actually a missing member of their group (which less than surprisingly turned out to be the leader character’s little sister, who had already been seen in a prior episode and had also been involved in that early monster attack). It was hokey, the english dub generally bordered on that of a proto-abridged series if not aggressively sanitizing things (turning sake into green chili sauce, for example) and it was just good dumb fun and in the end everyone was crying anyway because dammit, while it was dumb fun you still cared about these characters and loved how they grew up. And then came 02.

Hoo boy. Digimon 02 came out in 2000 (April 2nd in japan and August 19th in the states) and lasted for another year or so. While sometimes listed as a second season, in truth it was a sequel series and it had...some interesting ideas, lets say. And I mean that sincerely! They did have some good ideas! But it was pretty clear from the lack of direction and the constant roller coaster of serious and stupid that it was being a sequel for the sake of being a sequel. For example, a whole new super secret crest turned up out of nowhere, which brings up a lot of questions in the lore but is mostly used to prove Ken isn’t irredeemable because he’s a Chosen Child ,as well as the questions about how this Crest is still present and useable and then literally gets no use. No Ultimate Form Wormmon for you, folks, NORMAL digivolution is out! I think I and @yunisverse have made our opinion on how to use that crest better clear while we’re being salty over Wizardmon, ha People have said that it’s big draw was that it had a heavier focus on character development and...yes and no? On the one hand, Ken and Cody’s arcs were genuinely enjoyable, Kindness shenanigans aside, as was occasionally exploring TK and Kari’s trauma, something often brushed over in the original series. On the other hand, more or less the whole of Adventure centered AROUND character growth where in 02 it’s...sporadic. Sometimes even random. However the main two reasons everyone was mad at 02 were these;

The original digidestined that were not Kari or TK got shunted onto the backburner, usually using excuses as they had given up their crest powers sometime between Our War Game and the present (despite that A) this is otherwise disregarding the fact they were supposedly not able to enter the digital world again until 02 and B) the power is literally inside them as part of their core, not something the digiworld actually gave to them, and while it could be diminished it could never actually be removed) or that it was the New Kids turn, often with wildly out of character personality developments. (Looking at you, Sora’s new docileness and Mimi’s lack of involvement in most of the plot period.)

The epilogue, which not only gave everyone really weird future jobs (why is Matt an astronaut?!) but also seemed pretty much out to be as aggressively Happily Ever After without actually stopping to think about any implications or actual lead-ups.

02 usually gets a pass from riding on the Adventure coattails, but everyone still tended to be at least disappointed in what had occurred. Also, more serious takes on Digimon, such as Tamers and some of the games, had been growing in popularity.

Thus Bandai, in it’s infinite wisdom, decided to cash back in on Nostalgia by focusing on the Adventure kids, making them closer to 02 so they’re older and they can therefore do more serious mature takes like Tamers, while also trying to rectify how they would even begin to come around to their epilogue jobs. They do this by killing the 02 cast in the first two minutes.

Welcome to Tri folks! Okay, so the 02 cast isn’t actually dead, but we don’t know where they are for six movies. Six movies!! The most we know for a few years is Ken, for some reason, has reverted to evil! And he has Imperialdramon, which implies Davis is brainwashed too!

He is basically doing this most of the series (which was initially going to be a mini-series before becoming a series of movies which then proceed to often be cut up into episodes, which that alone should tell you the problems BEHIND the scenes much less on screen) and we find out what he is (not actually Ken but an evil Gennai clone which is also out of nowhere) and what he’s doing (apparently bringing Yggdrasil, long time lore big bad of various digimon continuities and also god, into the Adventure storyline) not by efforts of the kids. Oh no. They’re too busy playing with their new friend Mei!

God I wish I was joking. The original squad literally shows no concern for where the 02 gang is until halfway through, and it’s a handwave at best and quickly moved on from. Hell, they barely react to “Ken” and CHEER on defeating Imperialdramon! More gravitas was given to having to kill the plot coupon of the day, Meicoonmon, than someone they actually know and should be upset about. Also making Tai NOT want to rush into a fight (what?), Turns Out Homeostatis Is Also Evil Or At Least Amoral (why), a reveal one of the backstory five original digidestined went mad with grief (no), and also I guess for some reason the kids and digimon were separated again given their reactions despite 02′s ending? That’s. That’s not even keeping your own continuity. Why are you like this. Also connecting to the epilogue just seem to be on a whim (not metaphor, Matt decides to be an astronaut on a whim), the general lack of gravitas in most moments followed by moments of SEVERE gravitas (which is the 02 problem but Worse), and bad jokes. I don’t mean Good Bad Jokes like Adventure, just really not funny jokes. And the real bitch of the matter? It had a few things that should’ve made it AWESOME! Like listen, I miss these idiot kids a lot, and the concept of a virus forcing a reboot on the digiworld and thus having to explore, finally, the digimon as characters and what they would be like without the kids? That’s cool! The idea of undoing all the Perma Digideaths (like WIZARDMON goddammit, and in this own show friggin’ Leomon again) with said reboot and thus having a pretty legitimate reason to allow it? Also cool! Worldbuilding about the previous five digidestined? Neat! And lets be real, you all cried at the cast version of Butter-Fly. You know you did. But the thing is they didn’t DO anything with most of this, or did it in a sloppy way. Example; the virus was basically a means to an end for waking up Yggdrasil (I’m not calling him King Drasil, that’s stupid), right? Why? When the Adventure-verse, often to it’s own detriment, is actively tied to the Milleniumon mythos, you could just pull in that eldritch horror and finally have Ryo make sense everywhere not japan. Or heck, the Dark Ocean! Remember the Dark Ocean? Where literally cthulu is and also Daemon now? Apparently neither do the script writers since that would’ve been a golden opportunity.  Of course, this would be asking for continuity, which Tri has issues with within its own narrative. Remember when I said the reboot should’ve undone all permadeaths? Yeah, Wizardmon still shows up as a ghost later to lead Kari out of trouble. No lines or anything, just pops up facing away from the audience and leads her out, and then vanishes, despite the fact that according to the rules they made up for the reboot, he should be a cute little Mokumon in Primary Village at the moment who remembers nothing. Also it kind of low-key has the vibe that growing up is terrible and results in having to make awful decisions? Which I’m not sure is what they meant to do, but it does pretty much have that end result. And that sucks! Even Tamers didn’t do that! Growing up is HARD, sure, but there are GOOD things about it too, and being Adventure one would think that would be the main focus! Nope. I just. This should have been good and when it was announced I was super excited and now I’m pretty much exasperated by its mere existence. And now we’re getting a sequel after ANOTHER timeskip.

Bandai if this is how you give us a nostalgia feels trip, do us a favor and let Adventure die. You’re just making the sugary memories of childhood have a bitter aftertaste. Or, if you must, just do a proper reboot. Tie up things that actually WERE wrong with the original series and do some clean ups but otherwise leave it untouched. We all know you’re trying to capture the magic twice, guys, you’re not even trying to hide it now. TL;DR, The only parts I like about Tri are Butter-Fly (cast version) and the fact Tai and Matt are gayer than ever

[sunjaesol]

Thoughts on 6x13 “After Images”

- Awww Brett you did not deserve this - lol that big ass sign “NO SERVICE” as if any phone does that - what you do to survive...  - “An amateur that killed a hellhound” I hate these kinds of people, thinking they’re everything. That was luck you asshole.  - “Let’s not mistaken luck for skill.” Even though I don’t like Gerard, I agree. Get in line you bitch. (I wanted to say her name but I forget it woops) - oh snap Brett is coming for you - SINCE WHEN IS SHEZ ABLE TO SHOOT A GUN? I mean yeah she misses him but STILL. Did gerard quickly learn her the basics of shooting whilst they were on their lovely evening stroll? - MY HEART THE BOYS PLAYING VIDEO GAMES THIS IS PURE FANFICTION I LOVE IT I MISSED THIS THIS IS MASON X LIAM SEASON 4 MY HEART IS FULL - WTF are they even playing. It looks like something from the 90′ or early 2000 - Is he literally going to study there? In front of a TV in a dark room. On the ground? With his books on his legs? Really? That’s the best seating position?  - Before we start going into Mason’s explanation that Im’ not ready for because Mason deserves the universe - - - what is Liam wearing? A long sleeve and than a short sleeve? In hideous colours? That’s what I wore in elementary. And why does Mason still has his jacket on? Also Liam’s hair keeps getting worse.  - “You know what after images are?” ROLLLL CREDITS  - And you know, we all say Mason is Stiles 2.0, but he has many similarities to Lydia. Crazy high GPA and knows things like these. The things Mason says is something Lydia would say. (without his famous one-liners, of course, that’s all to him) I would also like to applaud the actor, he’s doing a marvelous job.  - Holy fucking shit he’s literally hallucinating the body - JEEP - god damn it why can’t Scott ever drive away. First Lydia creepily standing there, now Lori.  - Why is Melissa still in the hospital at night? - holy shit.  - same Melissa, I jumped as well - ah, she cutting a sample for the pack. That’s very brave of her.  - nope. nope nope nope I did not sign up for a horror movie - RUN MELISSA RUN THE FUCK AWAY - WHAT NO NO NO NO NO THIS IS LIKE LYDIA IN EICHEN - OPEN THE DOORS! - oh thank god she’s away from that thing - Corey... just go home. I don’t like you, the actor is meh. Mason says they found blood and your face stays expressionless. Just... go home please.  - what the fuck Lydia - ah she’s doing that thing again. The writing, light thingy. But this for Brett, and Stiles is like, you know, STILES - corey SHUT THE FUCK UP LYDIA ASKED YOU TO STAY QUIET - COREY I WILL FUCKING CUT YOU STOP DOING ANYTHING YOU ARE LITERALLY ACTING LIKE AND 5 YEAR OLD WHO CANT KEEP STILL ITS NOT LIKE YOU HAVE ANY CONCENTRATION PROBLEMS SO STOP JUST STOP - aaaand it’s happeneing again. It’s really great how Lydia now can control her powers and really ius them when she needs them.  - questioning camera work but okay - sad the number isn’t 69 - OOOH MELISSA AND CHRISSSSS - “oh shoot i better impress her” - wow that’s new Teen Wolf. Zooming in on transpiration.  - holy shit is everything alive??? - oh. Nolan. he’s still here? - ITS THE BLACK GUY WHO GOT... POSSESSED? MURDERED? idk im so scared - Nolan’s pupils are enormous. People who are scared have small pupils. Conclusion: he’s in love with the black guy.  - “I think we should split up” NEVER SPLIT UP  - “We should stick together” thank you Malia. - What has Liam been doing for three months? Have i forgotten something? -  “If you decide to do something stupid and die then go ahead” lol me. Malia has some great lines. - Swizerland!Scott - Those rock things are used by hikers to mark there trail for them and the ones who would take the same path. Quite smart. A bit obvious though.  - The actress who plays Lori is... eh. I can deal with it. I rather have her then Corey - *stares into a camera like in The Office when Liam roars* -  yay melissa! - SCOTT - FUCK OFF GERARD BOOBY TRAPS REALLY - AND LORI FUCKING HELL - Malia helping Scott is like Allison stitching up Scott in 3x06 Motel California (AKA the best episode ever) - “I just need a minute” “You just need to shut up” - ah, lovely Scolia moment - Chris you are smiling like a lovestruck puppy - WHAT - Are you seriously going to share you sob story now when, like you said, Brett is in danger. Frankly, I also don’t care about it.  - Wait I thought DNA and RNA was the same. Oh wait no the chemical structure is the same. Right. Okay. Moving on. (Nerd!Ophelia out) - Nolan’s eyes really freak me out - “Or any high school test” again, Mason is smart! Nearly Lydia Martin smart! - What. The fuck.  - and wow those special effects damn - ah, they will take a blood test.  - who the hell walks like that? Nolan’s a weird kid. (As if he didn’t just stab someone but whatever) and why keep that pen in the clear?  - NOLAN IS 68 - “You’re one of them, aren’t you?” fuckkkk -  UNLOCK A CHANCE TO WIN LYDIAS DRAWINGS I CAN GET A DRAWING OMG  - Yikes Brett. - Oh Liam. You’ll die out of impulsivity.  - “I’m generally not a trusting person” then why the fuck did you decide to follow this old man?  - I don’t feel bad for shipping Scolia. I genuinely enjoy their interactions.  - STILES - “And now I’m gonna lose you too.” awwwwww - “yeah. all of us. you know what i mean.” me avoiding my feelings.  - STILES - is he talking? - yep he was insinuating them - Ayye Malia! GO YOU! - “What happened?” “It worked” cue a fucking stare that makes me go into a frenzy - shoot I thought a kiss was coming - Chris and Melissa are like awkward high schoolers not knowing what to do. JUST KISS GO FOR IT MELISSA - I thoroughly enjoy BAMF!Melissa, Chris is totally caught of guard.  - ayye melissa AND WHY ARENT THEY KISSING - If Lori and Brett die I will be pissed - wow. Brett just... - oh no that’s the trap. Gerard is all part of this, of everything

[fuckit-shithappens]

1-170

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? 5’5 tbh

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) a finger monkey

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? comfy style, baggy clothes😌

4: What was your favorite video game growing up? ion even knowww

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: i think of makin shmoney, my girl, & my nephew 🤍

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? a lot 🤣 im too much

7: What is your opinion on ocra? why does your juice taste like pickle juice but you don’t taste like a pickle🧐

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] 🤷🏽‍♀️

9: Are you ticklish? i taught myself not to be bc i got tickled too much when i was younger & didn’t like it👀

10: Are you allergic to anything? cats, horses, & dogs🙄

11: What’s your sexuality? gay asfff😘

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? tea

13: Are you a cat or dog person? dog person

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? what’s a merperson

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? nahh

16: How tall are you? 5’4😴

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? good question

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] 140

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? yessirrr

20: Do you like space or the ocean more? space

21: Are you religious? nah

22: Pet peeves? oo a lot. when people lie for no reason, lazy people, crybaby people, plus more

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? nocturnal🌚

24: Favorite constellation? huh?

25: Favorite star? mars

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? tf even is that

27: Any phobias or fears? spiders, drowning, or burning.

28: Do you think global warming is real? yes

29: Do you believe in reincarnation? yes

30: Favorite movie? the mask, two story 2, shrek

31: Do you get scared easily? nah

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? 7

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] it was anonomous

34: What is a color that calms you? teal

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? i wanna travel to bora bora

36: Where were you born? oklahoma

37: What is your eye color? light brown

38: Introvert or extrovert? depends on the day & who i’m around

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? yuhh💯

40: Hugs or kisses? kisses

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? i wanna see my gramma & nephew😩

42: Who is someone you love deeply? money💸

43: Any piercings you want? i wanna get my industrial back & maybe my snake eyes👀

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? love them.

45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? i smoke weeed🥰

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! my girl, i love her personality & the way she treats me. i don’t see nobody but her, she ain’t goin no where😩🤍

47: What is a sound you really hate? owls hooing🤦🏽‍♀️

48: A sound you really love? waves hitting the shore 💕

49: Can you do a backflip? no

50: Can you do the splits? i used too👀

51: Favorite actor and/or actress? 🤷🏽‍♀️

52: Favorite movie? already asked thisss

53: How are you feeling right now? sleepy & hungry

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? i just want my highlights

55: When did you feel happiest? when i’m w my girl & family at the same time

56: Something that calms you down? weed🤣

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] prolly💀

58: What does your URL mean? issa saying i live by💯

59: What three words describe you the most? nonchalant, chill, bitch

60: Do you believe in evolution? huhhh

61: What makes you unfollow a blog? if ion like what you post

62: What makes you follow a blog? if i like what you post

63: Favorite kind of person:

64: Favorite animal(s): horses🥺

65: Name three of your favorite blogs.

66: Favorite emoticon:

67: Favorite meme:

68: What is your MBTI personality type?

69: What is your star sign? aries🤞🏽

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? no

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? basketball shorts, w a t shirt & my slides

72: Post a selfie or two? maybe

73: Do you have platform shoes? what

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? 🧐🤷🏽‍♀️

75: Can you do a front flip? yes

76: Do you like birds? i don’t mind them

77: Do you like to swim? i do, well i would say float

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? swimming is more fun

79: Something you wish didn’t exist: taxes. donald trump.

80: Some thing you wish did exist: free flights, a life time supply of chicken for me

81: Piercings you have? my nose & ears

82: Something you really enjoy doing: smoking & being w my girl

83: Favorite person to talk to: babyyy😘

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? i didn’t understand it

85: How many followers do you have? 2000+ i know that

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? hell nahhh😂

87: Do your socks always match? not all the time

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? yes

89: What are your birthstones? a light blue

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? i never know what to say on this

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

92: A store you hate?

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? i don’t like coffee

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? read minds

95: Do you like to wear camo? ew nope

96: Winter or summer? summer

97: How long can you hold your breath for? idk & i don’t wanna find out

98: Least favorite person?

99: Someone you look up to:my gramma

100: A store you love? zumiez

101: Favorite type of shoes: vans👏🏽

102: Where do you live? oklahoma

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? nah i NEED mean

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? idk

105: Do you drink milk? only in my cereal

106: Do you like bugs? no sir

107: Do you like spiders? nahh this my fear

108: Something you get paranoid about? when i’m smokin in the car & pass 12

109: Can you draw: i would say yes

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? i’ve been asked a lot of q’s that was nosy

111: A question you hate being asked? am i bi

112: Ever been bitten by a spider? no

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? yesss, i said that up there

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? sunny

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: my girl but she’s cookin for us🥴

116: Favorite cloud type: huh?

117: What color do you wish the sky was? an ombré goin from blue to purple to pink & yellow

118: Do you have freckles? nah

119: Favorite thing about a person: lips & eyebrow

120: Fruits or vegetables? fruit

121: Something you want to do right now: take a nap

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? damnnn don’t make me choose😩 i love boffum

123: Sweet or sour foods? sour

124: Bright or dim lights? dim

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? bigfoot

126: Something you hate about Tumblr:

127: Something you love about Tumblr:

128: What do you think about the least? people from my past

129: What would you want written on your tombstone? lived for herself & no one else

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? oo a few people

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? i love my body but hate it at the same time

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? yes, my teeth straight 🤣

133: Computer or TV? tv

134: Do you like roller coasters? i do

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? motion

136: Are your ears lobed or attached? lobed

137: Do you believe in karma? hell yes

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? 7

139: What nicknames do you have/have had? b & kyle

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? nah

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? yes💀

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? bad but sometimes good😌

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? receiving, im bad at pickin gifts for people

144: What makes you angry: yo literally anything & everything. i’m an angry bitch all the time

145: How many languages do you speak fluently? 1

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? girls

147: Are you androgynous? huh

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: my lips & eyebrows

149: Favorite thing about your personality: everything

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. my gramma

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?🤷🏽‍♀️

152: Do you like BuzzFeed? no

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] we knew of each other from my ex, then she added me on facebook & we would make small conversation throughout the years then when i broke up w my ex last year we ended up talking again bc i needed some smoke & then we linked on new years & have been w each other sense 🤣

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? i kiss my baby’s head & hand all the time but what’s platonic

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? nah

156: What embarrasses you? not a lot

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: everything bitch i got anxiety

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

159: How many people are you following? 800 or so

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? a lot

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? a few

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? idekkk

163: Last time you cried and why: i cried last week for no reason but i also started my period so it make sense

164: Do you have long or short hair? longgg🥰

165: Longest your hair has ever been: the length it is right now

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? not enough proof for me to believe in anything

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? honestly yes. i be interested asf

168: Do you like to wear makeup? yes but not all the time 😂

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? yuh prolly

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? yessirrr

[latestnews2018-blog]

There Were Zero Things Better This Week Than 20-Year-Old Ronald Acuña's Majestic Homers

New Post has been published on https://latestnews2018.com/there-were-zero-things-better-this-week-than-20-year-old-ronald-acunas-majestic-homers/

There Were Zero Things Better This Week Than 20-Year-Old Ronald Acuña's Majestic Homers

Welcome to Good Stuff, HuffPost’s weekly recommendation series devoted to the least bad things on and off the internet.  

To try to enjoy baseball today is to face a constant barrage of reminders ― from baseball’s brass, from baseball’s press, from baseball fans and people who very much want you to know that they are not baseball fans ― that there is something existentially wrong with America’s pastime. It is boring and dated and not worth watching. But every now and then, someone like Ronald Acuña comes along to remind you that baseball is, in fact, good.

Acuña, a 20-year-old Atlanta Braves rookie, has been one of the most exciting young players in baseball this year. But his true breakthrough came only this week, when Acuña opened each of Atlanta’s first three games against the Miami Marlins with home runs. Two of them came Monday, when Acuña opened both games of a doubleheader with home runs. Then he woke up Tuesday and decided to do it again.

They were majestic shots, all of them, each leaving the yard faster, higher and harder than the one before it, and it was a record-breaking streak: The Venezuelan is the youngest player to hit leadoff bombs in three straight games, the youngest to hit homers in five straight games since 1908, the youngest this and the youngest that in all sorts of categories now. Tuesday night, he added another one, a three-run shot that sealed another Braves win.

He’s the new face of the franchise in Atlanta, but, along with players like Washington’s Juan Soto, he’s also one of the new, fresh faces of baseball as a whole. And he plays the game with the sort of electric exuberance sports should elicit from all of us, even if we aren’t all blessed with the talent that allows us to express that joy through towering home runs, diving catches and stolen bases.

Baseball being baseball, that meant someone was going to take exception to his skill or his sheer funness or something. On Wednesday night, Marlins pitcher José Ureña decided there was no longer any point in trying to get Acuña out (a feat the Marlins had mostly failed to accomplish all week) and instead launched a 97 mile-per-hour fastball at the kid’s elbow. It was a cowardly play that drove Acuña from the game and could have ended his (and Atlanta’s) season, and Ureña was roundly criticized for the pitch. Still, his decision was also baseball’s most easily fixable problem illustrated. This game has, for whatever reason, a deep-rooted tendency for someone in or adjacent to it ― a pitcher, a columnist, even the commissioner ― to spend their time trying to convince everyone that the thing they like is actually bad.

Acuña, at least, won’t stand for it. On Thursday, he texted Atlanta’s manager to say he was ready to play, because even when baseball tries its hardest to be bad, people like Ronald Acuña are here to remind us that it’s not. ― Travis Waldron

“On the Road… In Trump Country”

Why are Americans so polarized? What really happened in the 2016 election? I’m leaving my liberal bubble to get some answers. pic.twitter.com/OClhEqRseC

— Jesse Brenneman (@Jesse_Brenneman) August 8, 2018

There was nothing better than radio producer Jesse Brenneman — formerly of WNYC — tweeting a video series about reaching across political and socioeconomic lines, “On the Road… In Trump Country.”

It’s a hilarious series of tweets in which Brenneman pokes fun at all the reporters who parachuted into “Trump Country” after the president was elected. There are a lot of garbage news reports that treat any locale outside of a metropolitan city as a peculiarity to be investigated for a few days and then left behind. Brenneman does exactly that, mostly without leaving his car, and the results are amazing. Read the entire thread. ― Andy Campbell

The First Movie In 25 Years To Feature An All-Asian Cast

This one may be obvious, but it has to be said: “Crazy Rich Asians” is a goddamn delight. This movie has it all: Really hot people! Stunning locales! Delicious-looking food porn! Red-carpet-worthy costumes! Extravagance that would be nauseating in real life but is super fun on screen! A biting joke about JFK airport! Awkwafina!

Also, it’s the first movie in 25 years (since “The Joy Luck Club”) that features an all-Asian cast and puts an Asian-American story at its center. So, seriously, go fill those theaters. ― Emma Gray

“Drowning” by A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie, Orchestral Version

🔥🔥🔥🔥 RT @soscrub_: A Boogie performing Drowning w/ a live orchestra 😳 pic.twitter.com/mxD17oAK3l

— Rory (@thisisrory) August 15, 2018

Bruh, this is majestic as fuck. The original song — “Drowning” by A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie — is amazing in its own right, but hearing it slowed down, without the Auto-Tune, without Kodak Black and with an accompanying orchestra??? Biiiiiiiitch. I wanna shout. I wanna nod my head. I wanna crump. I wanna get active.

There’s something cathartic about hearing a trap beat glide over the graceful medley of cellos, pianos and violins. The song feels fleshed out, as if the more classical instruments have lifted it to be all it can be, all it was meant to be.

And to hear A Boogie rap “Bust down, bust down, bust down, bust down, bust down, bitch I’m drownin’” while that violin whines in the back??? This rendition of the song deserves a Grammy, OK? ― Julia Craven

A Bubble Man

I love New York so much. pic.twitter.com/Qb4TSnknpR

— Alexander Kaufman (@AlexCKaufman) August 15, 2018

Union Square is an egalitarian island in a sea of opulence, corporate chains and pied-à-terres owned by ultrarich foreigners and trust-fund schmucks who think Brooklyn is “too far.” The 6½-acre park, plaza and subway hub of Lower Manhattan serves as the venue for an affordable farmers market four days a week. On the other days, it’s a draw for street performers. Which brings me to the Bubble Man.

I don’t know the Bubble Man’s name, but he’s been a fixture in Union Square for over a decade. He shows up, usually on the west side of the park, with buckets of soapy water and a wand made of two broom-length sticks. Then he just produces bubbles endlessly while kids squeal and chase after them, trying to pop the shimmering little orbs before they float down and burst on the concrete.

When I left work Tuesday, I was exhausted. For some unclear reason, I woke up with my insecurities and feelings of inadequacy on full blast. To boot, my checking account suffered a stinging blow that morning when a handful of different travel and life expenses unexpectedly hit all at once. All I wanted was to go home to my apartment in Queens and curl up until I mustered the appetite to eat leftovers.

As I walked through the park to catch the N train home, the glint of bubbles caught my eye. I noticed a crowd gathered, so I walked over before descending into the subway. The kids were ecstatic, exhaling a chorus of “whoas,” “wows,” and “awesomes” as they scurried around in pursuit of bubbles. Parents and onlookers from all different backgrounds watched, phones out, capturing videos and photos. It was such a raw, uplifting moment, and a wonderful reminder that this city’s real wealth is in its public spaces.  ― Alexander Kaufman

The Great Mayonnaise Debate

Last weekend, Sandy Hingston published a piece in Philadelphia magazine titled “How Millennials Killed Mayonnaise,” a 2,300-word diatribe apparently inspired by a few people not eating her potato salad at Fourth of July barbecues anymore.

The slightly tongue-in-cheek piece offered no real evidence that millennials had actually killed America’s most popular condiment (at least as of 2014), save for her wicked young daughter, a women’s and gender studies major who “naturally” “loathes mayonnaise” (by comparison, Jake, the “practical” and “good son,” loves Sandy’s macaroni salad, thank you very much).

And so it was that Hingston set off a predictably fierce and inarguably trivial internet debate about (A) if mayonnaise is good and (B) whether millennials killed it. The entire situation was wholly idiotic. It lasted way too long, and I loved every second of it. The episode reminded me of a simpler time on the internet, when my days and nights weren’t filled with thoughts of Nazis, incels, Russian bots and Roger Stone. And so I say: Bring back the asinine internet debates of yesteryear! I’ll watch people debate literally anything dumb. Ketchup? Sure. Avocados? Fine, whatever. You want to debate laundry detergent. I’ll debate laundry detergent. Please, I need this. I need this so bad. Help me. Please. And for the record, mayonnaise is bad. ― Maxwell Strachan

Pop’s New Pansexual Anthem

British-Japanese pop princess Rina Sawayama released her new single, “Cherry,” this week, a bubbly pop bop in which she gushes over a new crush who is… dun dun dun… a girl!

“Down the subway, you looked my way / With your girl gaze, with your girl gaze / That was the day everything changed / Now it’s something else.”

Sawayama, who identifies as pansexual, explores the electric experience of desiring a woman and letting the feeling fully flood the body ― even though she’s dating a dude. The song uproots the “girl meets boy” pop music standard, navigating Sawayama’s unfixed sexual preferences with nuance and playful levity. In “Cherry,” Sawayama confronts the contradictions that accompany fluid sexuality: can she authentically identify as queer while being in a heterosexual relationship? (Yes.) The question probes far deeper than Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl.”

Like the 2017 album “RINA,” “Cherry” invokes sounds popularized in the late ’90s and early 2000s pop by femme-forward artists like Willa Ford and Danity Kane. Sawayama, however, sharpens their sugary recipes by granting the genre a gravitas long denied to it. As a result, her jams feel both nostalgic and cutting edge, combining the sweetness of Mandy Moore’s “Candy” with the visionary mastery of Janelle Monae.

Along with possessing me to dance with a force best described as supernatural, Sawayama’s music illuminates potential for a future in which mainstream music can encapsulate experiences as niche and complex as any other “highbrow” art form. As Sawayama told Broadly: “I think it’s possible to queer the world with pop music.” ― Priscilla Frank

This Book Has Everything: Spore-Infected Zombies, A Mediocre Photo Blog, Critique Of Capitalism

Amazon

Spore-infected zombies, a mediocre New York photography blog, critiques of capitalism, a residential shopping mall and a spot of doomed romance: Ling Ma’s debut novel, Severance, has everything I want in a work of fiction.

Severance follows Candace Chen, an aimless twentysomething who has an uninspiring office job in New York, overseeing the production of Bibles. She has vague artistic aspirations and a dreamy writer boyfriend of five years. As the book begins, her boyfriend decides to leave New York for the cheaper and more artistically inspiring pastures of, well, anywhere else. Meanwhile, a fungal infection has erupted in China, and it soon spreads throughout the world. There’s no treatment; the infection kills those it affects, but often after a long spell of zombie-like existence.

Candace, left behind by her boyfriend and alone in the world (her parents, who immigrated from China when she was a young girl, are dead), stays in New York City as it empties of living residents, documenting its decay on her blog. Finally, she flees the city with a small band of survivors who make their way to a shelter owned by the group’s de facto leader.

Interwoven are flashbacks exploring Candace’s childhood, her immigrant experience, her family and her early years in New York, piecing together a novel that’s zombie apocalypse meets immigrant narrative meets office satire.

This book is hauntingly beautiful, it’s thrillingly plotted and it offered me a bit of escapism, the comforting thought that American civilization could be brought to an end by something I’ve completely forgotten to worry about since November 2016: a massive pandemic. ― Claire Fallon

‘Spotlight,’ Which Deserves A Spot In The Pantheon Of Classic Journalism Movies

This week’s shocking grand jury report detailing sexual abuse by hundreds of Catholic priests in Pennsylvania credited the Boston Globe Spotlight team’s 2002 investigation, which first exposed the institutional cover-up of serial sexual abuse involving Boston priests. The reporters’ work was later dramatized in the brilliant movie “Spotlight” — which, luckily, is available on Netflix. Nearly three years after its release, I can confidently say that it’s just as good as (and maybe even better than) “All the President’s Men,” and it deserves a spot in the pantheon of classic journalism movies.

While it miraculously won the Oscar for best picture in 2015, it also should have won awards for its meticulous craft, from its seamless editing to subtle camera work. The technical elements in understated movies rarely get the recognition that they deserve, precisely because they are so understated (i.e. no explosions and car chases). Journalism is not an inherently cinematic profession: It’s mostly people staring at computers, talking on the phone, reading through documents, etc. But “Spotlight” manages to make these mundane, procedural tasks look riveting. Case in point: One of its most suspenseful scenes involves an Excel spreadsheet. An Excel spreadsheet! ― Marina Fang

Aretha, Remembered

As we remember the one and only Aretha Franklin, so many iconic performances come to mind. “Divas Live.” Obama’s inauguration. That Carole King tribute at the 2015 Kennedy Center Honors. But one TV appearance of hers needs to be watched again and again, if only to stare at Cissy Houston providing backup vocals in the background.

That’s right: In 2014, Aretha sang a cover of Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep,” blended with a rendition of “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” on “The Late Show With David Letterman,” and Cissy, an accomplished performer herself, appeared to forget all the words as one of the backup singers. It’s so entertaining and funny, and it will bring you some joy as we face the sad loss of the Queen of Soul. ― Leigh Blickley

Glenn Close In “The Wife”

Graeme Hunter Pictures, Sunnybank Cottages

If you want to see an actor at work — really at work — look for the moments without any dialogue. For the most gifted performers, that’s when the magic happens. Nicole Kidman at the opera house in “Birth.” Jodie Foster darting through Buffalo Bill’s house in “The Silence of the Lambs.” And, now, Glenn Close standing idly by her husband (Jonathan Pryce) as fans extol his fraudulent career in “The Wife,” a Meg Wolitzer adaptation opening this weekend.

In one of the best performances of her career, Close plays the spouse of a novelist who’s just been feted with the Nobel Prize — for the books she ghostwrote. Over the course of 100 minutes, she finds it increasingly tough to quiet the resentment that’s finally bubbling up inside of her. The movie springs to life not in the couple’s verbal tiffs but in the subtle character work Close does when the camera is stationed on her face, telegraphing the conflict she’s long masked. It’s an actress at her finest. ― Matthew Jacobs

A Nice Memory

Read last week’s Good Stuff.

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