#why'd this kid have to be born THIS LATE in the year

[alteredphoenix]

TFW I have to wait until September before I can do any fan art and fics for Michelle’s birthday, so now I’m like:

[mark-of-chrysus]

I remembered the Mommy Sammy loop and I was wondering - what if it was combined with the Little Daniel getting adopted by Big Deal loop? For example, what if Danny is adopted and the whole Johan incident happens soon after, but Sammy decided that she'll take her in under her wing. Female Johan and Samuel would be so cool.

Meanwhile, Danny is growing up and he realizes that Samuel and Johan are girls but Big Deal still hasn't realized it. Cue Daniel casually tring to tell Sinu and Yeonhui and the rest of Big Deal about it and them not believing him because what girl would be as much a psycho as those two (they think this with affection).

It would also be kinda fluffy since Samuel would probably stay with big deal and maybe try to legally become a business mogul (kind of like going to school and still making one mcn, just not with workers).

Idk I just thought it was a cool idea. Sorry for all the rambling.

"All of them are dumbasses," Daniel grumbled, kicking pebbles.

"Mhm." Sammy didn't even bother pretending otherwise, as she completed another test and began checking her answers.

Daniel had just returned from his usual daily attempt at opening Sinu and Jake's eyes regarding Sammy and Johane's gender. It had gone as expected, he got laughed at and sent on his way so the adults could 'do their job' (playing video games until 3 am). He had managed to convince Yeonhui a few weeks ago, as the girl was obviously much less dense than the two dunderheads leading the crew.

The time-looper trapped in a 7-year-old's body gave a long-suffering sigh, crouching near the steps on which his big sister figure was sat.

"They even had the gall to laugh in my face and tell me that I was making stuff up to avoid doing my homework. Can you believe that?!"

"The audacity." Samuel drawled making the tiny boy bristle even harder.

"You aren't even listening to me!" He shouted in annoyance, maybe a bit too loud for how late at night it was.

'Yep, definitely too loud' he sweatdropped when the lights in the building behind them turned on. A ruffled, half-asleep brown-haired girl made her way out after a few beats of silence, followed closely by her loyal companion. Eden took one look at them, deciding that whatever human business they were doing didn't affect him, and headed back in after a large yawn. Johane looked tempted to follow his example.

"What are you two doing?" She asked instead, plopping down beside Sammy. "You know you're going to ruin your eyes like that, right?"

Sammy looked up at her. She had a flashlight strapped to her head and was checking her answers in pink glitter pen while the book was precariously balanced on one of her knees. The buff girl pointedly pushed her glasses up her nose.

"You know what I meant." Johane huffed "You're going to damage your eyes even more, then you'll have to wander around like a blind bat before age 30. And what's gotten in you, pup, why'd you shout at 1 in the morning like a damn prairie dog?"

The child shuffled his feet, the tips of his ears reddening.

"I didn't mean for it to be that loud. It's just that the guys-"

"What guys?"

"Sinu and Jake" Sammy supplied

"-are being such idiots that it's starting to really irk me!"

Johane paused, probably still a bit slow from tiredness and trying to gather her thoughts and articulate them in a kid-friendly way.

"Did you just now notice?" Was all she managed to come up with. "I mean, they've been like that since-"

"Forever." Sammy completed her sentence, closing the book and turning off the flashlight before turning to face her two younger siblings figures. "So those fuckers can't take the fact that me and her were born with vaginas and boobs. What are you gonna do about it? It's not as if you can force them to change their minds..."

The maniac smirk that spread on the beastie's face (She thought him that! That was her greatest achievement in raising the little hellspawn and no one could deny it!) made her pause. Sammy knew how devious the brat could be, but as she thought back to what she had said offhandedly just now, the Economical Studies students could already predict his thought process.

"Thanks, Sammy! You just gave me a great idea, I knew those crocodiles with lightsabers would come in handy again!" He ran up to the buff girl and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before running off.

"What have we just unleashed?" Sammy pondered out loud.

"And where is my kith?" Johanne slurred already half-leaning onto her shoulder.

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

Another beholder, this one blind, wanders into the library of the one we killed while we're exploring, humming a nursery rhyme

Beholder, in a creaky old lady voice: Who's there?

Aaeye: We mean you no harm.

Harry: Easy there.

Beholder: Who's there? Are you friends of my son?

Me, OOC: It's his- You're making us deal with the beholder's mother??

Beholder: Are you Argy's friends?

Harry: You know- yes, yeah, he had a couple of books about a couple of my friends here, so we wanted to see what he knew about us.

Beholder: Well, where is he? He's late for dinner.

Harry: I don't know; he stepped out for a little bit.

Beholder: He went out? Why would he do that? He never leaves his basement.

*whole party bursts out laughing*

Me, OOC: He lives in his mother's basement?

Harry: Well, you see, the thing is, he wanted to see if he could find a nice, uh, female, to bring home to you.

Beholder: What? Is his mother not good enough for him?

Harry: No, no no no, he wanted to make you proud!

DM: Roll a Deception check.

Matt: *rolls* Nope! That's a ten.

Beholder: My son has no interest in such things! All he does is sit and read his books!

Harry: Well, uh, yeah, I mean, I talked to him a little bit-

Beholder: You sound... untruthful. That will certainly not do!

Me: Wait, hang on, I want to say-

Aaeye: The important thing is that there's no need for further hostilities.

Me: Dammit.

Beholder: I beg your pardon?

Don:I can't do words.

Me: *OOC* Shh! I can help with this. *in-character* He didn't actually step out for a female, he stepped out for a book, my friend here misunderstood, he stepped out for a book ON females, I don't know exactly why-

DM: Deception?

Me: I didn't put ranks into Deception, but I've got a +5 anyways. *rolls* 17!

DM: Okay. She just kind looks at you oddly, but you notice that her eyes are kind of swiveling, trying to find focus on you, but it does look like she has cataracts, so she's probably blind. She's looking around the chamber, trying to pinpoint your voices.

Beholder: My son would never leave to find a book. He would simply command an organism to do it for him.

Me: Well, he seemed very determined to get this book on his own; I can't tell you why.

Aaeye: He was certainly determined about something, you know, I can tell you that.

Me, whispering: Stop talking. You're not helping. *to Harry* Also, you stop talking; you're not helping either.

DM: At this point, Raiya and Kanithar, you two are coming down the corridor. You notice that the passage in front of you, about sixty feet ahead, is blocked by this beholder, who seems to be scolding the people inside.

Me: And is clearly some sort of blind maternal figure.

Harry: I'm sorry, I did not catch your name, madam.

Beholder: Oh! I'm Mama Silax.

Me, Harry, and Aaeye: Mama Silax.

Me: Pleasure to meet you.

Mama Silax: Do you know where my son is?

Me: I'm sorry, we don't know. He wouldn't tell us where he was going. He just said he was going out to find the book.

DM: At this point, you watch as one large eye in the center of her face opens up, and this one, while the others are milky and kind of blinded, this one can see perfectly.

Me: Ohhhh, shit.

DM: As she gazes about the room, looking at all of you, and you hear an inhuman screech rock the chamber as her gaze falls upon the destroyed and crumpled remains of her son.

Me: Oh, fuck, we didn't get rid of the body!

DM: You can see tears forming, milky tears.

*whole party laughs*

Me: Should we roll initiative?

Don: I have a power called Emissary of Peace! *in character* There was a misunderstanding, a conflict that we tried to avoid but couldn't, our friend perished, your son perished, it was unfortunate. Let us not repeat this nastiness. *rolls* I got a 22!

DM: You see the milky tears form and drip to the ground. Where they fall, you see the carpet steam, like acid.

Me: Oh, great acid tears. Nothing is quite as frightening as a mama beholder's tears.

DM: She floats a little forward into the room, and where she heard your voice coming from, she just kinda plops down and leans up against you.

Me: Oh, amazing.

Aaeye: *awkwardly pats Mama Silax on the back*

Mama Silax: What happened? Please tell me of my son.

Harry, whispering: Blame the dead guy (we lost an NPC party member in the fight).

DM: Luckily, her hearing's not too good either.

Harry: Well, ahem, we heard tales of your son, and came up here to speak to him-

Mama Silax: I don't like you! I asked him *gestures to Aaeye*. You're a liar!

Me:We're so sorry, we just wanted to spare your feelings.

Aaeye: Anyways, we came up here to negotiate, and unfortunately, our leader and your son did not come to an understanding, and violence erupted, and unfortunately, neither your son nor our leader and dear friend survived.

Mama Silax: Dear heavens, why'd you have to take my son?

*Kanithar and Raiya enter and see Mama Silax trying to curl into a ball against Aaeye, weeping acid tears*

Kanithar, imperiously: Is it begging for mercy?

Aaeye: I am consoling her over the deaths that we have all suffered from!

Harry: It's a mother weeping for her kid!

Raiya, baffled: What?

Harry: It's a mother, weeping for her kid!

Kanithar: This must be some sort of deception. Abominations do not weep for their children.

Me, OOC: Oh, no, you don't say that to her face, do you?

Evan: I say that very loudly.

Me: Oh, no. Kanithar, no, Kanithar, no, you're going to get us all killed.

Kanithar, ignoring me: What are we doing with the creature?

Aaeye: We're having a moment of understanding for all of us, that we are all somebody's child.

Me: My parents are dead.

Harry: So are mine.

Me: I never met them.

Evan: Knowledge check to see what I know about beholders, and to see if this is unusual?

*Aaeye continues lecturing on unity in the background while Kanithar and Raiya put their heads together to see what they know about beholders and I make desperate "shut the fuck up" gestures at Kanithar, who continues ignoring me*

DM: This seems like normal behavior.

Me: What, crying beholders?

DM: Yeah, he's just like, "is this normal for beholders? Do they have parents?"

Me, to Evan: What, did you roll a one?

Evan:No, I got a total of 12, it just wasn't enough.

Me, belatedly realizing I should probably roll my own check: 24 Arcana? Are beholders a born creature or made?

DM: Yeah, they're born. They have parents.

Me: Oh, huh. So this is legit. This is awkward.

Kanithar:If this is indeed true, then destroy the beast so she does not spawn any further abominations.

Kirby: Jesus!

Harry: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Me: Kanithar! She's done nobody harm!

Kanithar:She does not belong here. She is a crime against nature!

Aaeye: She's part of nature.

Me: Kanithar, she's not going to spawn any more. She's clearly a widow, she's clearly-

*party starts laughing*

Kirby: Clearly a single mother-

Matt: Past menopause or kids-

Me: Look, I'm gonna try to be respectful about it, but she's clearly past her child-bearing years. She's mostly blind, she's mostly deaf, her son was the only thing she had; she'll be fine, just leave her alone, she'll die naturally. Or, unnaturally, as the case may be, but on her own. She'll die of old age.

(Long story short, we found out Mama Silax and her son were brought to this plane against their will. We brought back her son and sent them both back to their home plane as a compromise between Kanithar's desire to murder abominations and the rest of the party's desire not to slaughter a defenseless grieving mother. This conversation lasted a total of about twenty minutes, and it took me half an hour to transcribe ten minutes, so this is what you get.)