#winklinebingo

[writethelifeyouwant]

Show Me - Part 1

Pairing: Sam x Jack Rating: 18+ Part Tags: Bi!Jack, Bi!Sam, Age Difference, Pseudo-Incest, First Kiss, Mutual Masturbation, Pining!Sam, Eventual Dom/Sub Relationship, Dom!Sam, Switch!Jack Word Count: 3k Created for: @winklinebingo - Bisexuality | @spnkinkbingo - JackSam | @samwinchesterbingo - SAMasturbation

Beta: @raidens-realm Thank you so much for all your feedback going through this series, it has been so valuable ❤️

A/N: @jackandthesoulmates commissioned this piece and I’ve had so much fun coming up with all these sexy scenarios 🖤

Mini Series Masterlist

“Sam? Dean?”

“In here kid!” Dean answers Jack’s call loudly, taking another sip from his coffee mug, eyes not leaving the newspaper he’s reading. The boy bounds into the kitchen with the usual spring in his step, giving Sam one of his stationary waves in greeting when he enters. Sam nods and smiles at him, eyes dropping back to his laptop as he speaks.

“There’s more coffee if you wanted some.”

“Thanks,” Jack chirps and Sam hears him pouring himself a mug. He resolutely does not look up while Jack’s back is turned toward him. Jack takes a seat in the chair at the end of the table, looking between the brothers and their respective research efforts. He catches Sam’s eye and Sam looks up at him. Jack looks weirdly nervous, and Sam has a feeling he knows where this is going. He wants to come on whatever hunt they’re leaving for (as soon as they find one worth going on).

“Somethin’ on your mind, Jack?” Dean breaks the ice, folding his newspaper and pushing it aside. Sam braces himself to give Jack yet another gentle rejection, praying it doesn’t upset the kid too much.

“I want to known about sex,” Jack forces the words out into the open, and Sam opens his mouth ready to say ‘no’, but winds up gaping instead. That was so not what he was expecting. Dean clearly wasn’t ready for that question either, because he just barely stops himself from spitting coffee all over the table in surprise.

Dean eventually manages to swallow. Sam is still speechless. Jack looks awkwardly between them.

“Would– could you guys, maybe, um, teach me?” Jack looks down, playing with his fingers in his lap. Sam’s thoughts are going about fifty miles a minute, clogging up his brain to the point where nothing can get through the neural pathways that would result in actual words leaving his mouth. Dean notices and, probably assuming Sam is being a prude, steps up to bat, clearing his throat.

“Whaddya wanna know?”

Jack’s head shoots up, swivelling toward Dean, eyes full of hope. Sam is instantly bitter that Dean is the one on the receiving end of that look.

“Uh, everything,” Jack shrugs, and then the questions tumble out. “Like, how do I tell if someone wants to do it with me? Or, if I meet someone I want to do it with, how do I ask them? And, I suppose, how to actually... do it,” he finishes with a blushing glance at Sam, then looks back to Dean. “I asked Castiel, but he said you two would be much better suited as instructors.”

Dean scoffs and laughs under his breath. “Yeah, he’s not wrong about that. Dude’s only got laid like, one time.”

“So, you’ll show me?” Jack asks hopefully, looking between Sam and Dean, but Dean seems to be at a loss for words now, suddenly hesitant. Against his better judgment, Sam reaches out and clasps Jack’s shoulder bracingly, fingers curling into the warm cotton of the boy’s t-shirt.

“Sure thing, Jack,” Sam smiles, and he knows it was the right answer when Jack beams at him gratefully and his heart flutters in his chest.

“Hang on now, kid. I don’t know about showing you everything. I can show you how to pick up chicks and tell if they’re into you, but you wanna watch sex, just google porn,” Dean says gruffly.

“But what if I have questions about the porn?” Jack asks seriously, and Sam laughs at Dean’s horrified expression.

“How about this Jack, Sammy here will answer all your questions, and when you’re good and ready I’ll take you out and teach you how to talk to girls, and we’ll find you someone to try out all your new skills on,” Dean suggests.

Sam feels his chest tighten for a variety of reasons. He’s glad Dean doesn’t want to be the one walking Jack through how sex works, because the sick, twisted part of his brain very much wants that job to be his, but the idea of the two of them going out to pick up some stranger for the boy to lose his virginity to… Sam’s not such a big fan of that thought.

“What if I want to do it with a guy, and not a girl?” Jack asks innocently, and Sam’s heart sings. Dean takes a moment to consider and shrugs.

“Gay dudes are kinda like chicks, same shit should work on them.”

Sam drags a hand over his face in exasperation. “Dean, you cannot just say shit like that.” Honestly, sometimes it escapes him how he and Dean are even related.

“Whatever,” Dean shrugs, turning back to Jack. “It shouldn’t be that different. You into dudes, then?” he takes a sip of his coffee, curiosity on his face. Now it’s Jack’s turn to shrug.

“I don’t know. Do I have to decide?”

“You can like boys and girls, Jack,” Sam says gently, and Jack smiles. “I do,” Sam adds after a moment of deliberation. Jack smiles even wider.

“You do?” Jack blinks amazedly, and Sam nods. “So you’ve had sex with both, too? You know what it’s like?” he questions intently.

Sam laughs and nods again. “Yes, I know what it’s like. Anything you want to know, just ask.”

“But not in front of me,” Dean grunts and pushes back from the table. He brings his mug to the coffee pot and pours another cup for himself before walking toward the door. “When you’re ready to go take yourself out for a test drive, come find me.” Dean salutes them with his mug and walks off, leaving Sam and Jack sitting at the kitchen table.

“So, can we start now?” Jack asks eagerly, and Sam shrugs. They hadn’t found a hunt yet, so he supposes now was as good a time as any. He tries not to be too noticeably excited.

“Course, Jack. C’mon.”

Safely situated in his room, no chance of Dean overhearing conversations he doesn’t want to hear, Sam shuts the door and turns to face Jack. The younger boy is sitting on the end of Sam’s bed, cross legged, eyes eagerly upturned towards his teacher. Sam can’t choke back the smile that the sight brings to his lips.

“Okay,” Sam claps his hands together, just for something to do with them; so he doesn’t reach out and run them over his young pupil like a very large part of his mind is telling him to do. “What, uh… what do you want to know?” It’s a bit lame, but Sam figures it’s as good an opener as he’ll come up with in his current state.

“Um, I don’t know, really,” Jack starts after a moment of consideration. “It’s like, I know I don’t know much about sex, but because I don’t know about it I'm not sure what to ask. Does that even make sense?” he cringes, clearly embarrassed, if the flush now staining his cheeks is an accurate indicator.

Sam smiles sympathetically, heart melting a little at the earnest vulnerability Jack is trusting him with. He remembers being this scared of sex once, awkwardly fumbling his way through asking Dean how to kiss, and Dean just throwing a couch cushion at his head and telling him to pucker up. He would do better for Jack.

“Okay so, start at the beginning, I guess,” Sam laughs under his breath and sits on the bed next to Jack, bringing one leg up under himself to get more comfortable. “Have you ever kissed anyone?” Jack shakes his head ‘no’, but the response is free of embarrassment. “Is there anyone you have in mind that you think you’d like to kiss?” Now the embarrassment comes back, flushing Jack’s skin a ruddy shade of pink.

“There’s um, there’s this girl,” Jack stutters, clearly struggling with the words. Sam feels his heart sink in his chest, but he fights to keep a smile on his face and ignore the wrench in his gut.

“You don’t have to tell me who, it’s okay,” Sam assures Jack, giving his leg a comforting pat. Jack stares down at Sam’s hand fixedly.

“Will you show me how?” he blurts out, eyes jerking back to Sam’s face, apprehensively awaiting his response. Sam is dumbstruck. Two sides of an argument arm themselves in his mind, preparing for the ensuing war, but before any attack can be launched Sam subconsciously declares the victor. He nods. Jack’s smile of gratitude obliterates the moment of guilt he’d felt.

“C’mere,” Sam scoots a little closer as he speaks, beckoning Jack into him. The boy comes eagerly, knee knocking against Sam’s as he inches across the bed. Sam’s hand goes to Jack’s face, thumb brushing over his cheekbone tenderly, holding this moment temptingly between them, and letting the anticipation build until all he can hear is the sound of his own heart drumming in his ears. He wonders for a moment if Jack can hear it too. Then he kisses him.

The lessons with Sam are going well. Jack and him had practiced kissing for ages the day before, and Jack had found that he really, really likes kissing Sam. Dean had interrupted them around lunch time – just as Sam had been explaining what ‘first base’ was, and how it would make more sense why it was a big deal when he tried it with a girl – to retrieve Sam for the hunt he’d managed to track down.

Sam had left him some homework for their ‘lessons’, to help Jack pass the time, which he was now eagerly completing. Laptop on the bed before him, Jack pulls up the first article Sam had found for him and begins to read. It’s all very clinical, very scientific. Jack understands a bit more about everything when he’s finished, but it hasn’t answered his most burning questions. He still wants to know how it all feels. And how to actually do everything the article is telling him about. Some of it he still can’t quite picture. But now, at least, he has a better idea of what questions to ask Sam when he returns.

Sam and Dean are back a few days later, in relatively good spirits considering they waltz into the bunker covered in some kind of monster goo. Jack greets them with a wave and a ‘hello’ when they make their way to the kitchen and crack out their celebratory beers. Sam gives one to Jack too, and he thrills at the small brush of Sam’s fingers against his own when he hands over the bottle. He’s missed those fingers; wants to feel them on his face again; in his hair; on his skin…

“So, Jack,” Dean finishes his beer with a smack of his lips, “I was gonna hit a bar, see what I can see. You wanna come?” He gives Jack a lecherous grin, and Jack looks to Sam, who’s shaking his head in amusement at Dean.

“I think I might need more time before I’m ready to go on a date,” Jack turns Dean down politely, and out of the corner of his eye Jack sees Sam smile.

“Suit yourself, see you two later.” Dean twirls the keys to the Impala around his finger as he hops up the kitchen stairs back towards the garage, and a fun filled night of fornication.

“So, did you have any more questions?” Sam asks as soon as Dean is out of earshot, and Jack turns to him, grinning.

“Yes,” Jack nods assertively. Sam chuckles, low and warm.

“Alright, I’ll grab us a few more beers and we can go back to my room.”

Jack can barely contain his excitement. “Are we gonna practice kissing again?”

Sam pauses for a moment, his back to Jack as he reaches for more beer from the fridge, but when he turns back around he’s smiling. “Yeah Jack, we can practice more.” He takes a deep breath and kicks the door to the fridge closed behind him. “Maybe we can practice some other stuff too.”

Sam knows he’s awful. He’s a horrible, manipulative, horny-as-all-hell guy who is taking advantage of what could have been a perfectly innocent situation. But he can’t help it. Once he’d gotten a taste of Jack on his tongue, he knew he was lost for good. What’s the point of trying to find his way back out of this dark, twisted maze if he knows he’ll never make it? Might as well enjoy it since he’s here now.

“Did you read the article I sent you?” Sam checks when they’re safely ensconced in his room again. Jack nods and settles himself on the end of Sam’s bed, just like last time. Sam feels his heart jump in his chest, rhythm beginning to race. His mouth feels dry when he goes to ask his next question, so he takes a sip of his beer and tries again.

“Do you touch yourself Jack? The way it talked about in the article?”

Jack shakes his head, and Sam’s breath catches in his throat. Fuck, why was that so hot?

“Okay, I think that’s what we should practice next.”

“Okay,” Jack agrees quickly, eyes bright and excited.

“Come up here with me,” Sam moves to the top of his bed and props his pillows against the headboard, to give them something to lean on. Jack follows him and lays back on the bed, copying Sam. Sam feels his soul descend one more step down the ladder towards Hell, but he pushes the feeling away for now.

“Now what?” Jack asks.

“I want you to think of that girl you like, okay?” Sam starts, glancing over at Jack and seeing him nod. “Close your eyes, and imagine what kissing her might feel like. Think about how it felt when we were kissing.”

He sees the colour beginning to rise in Jack’s cheeks, notices his breath hitch on his inhales. He traces his eyes lower down, to focus on Jack’s waist, hips, groin. Sam reaches out and takes one of Jack’s hands in his own, then carefully places it over the boy’s lap.

“Now I want you to keep thinking about kissing that girl, and I want you to start rubbing yourself right here.”

Jack makes a small whimpery noise, and Sam’s eyes flick to his face. His cheeks are bright red now. Looking back down to the boy’s hand, Sam can see he’s following his instructions, and a bulge is already beginning to grow beneath his hesitant touch.

“Does that feel good, Jack?” Sam asks, voice a little scratchy. Jack nods, eyes still blissfully shut. Sam can’t hold back any longer, and drops his own hand to his lap, where he’s already well on his way to being fully aroused.

“Open your eyes,” he whispers between them, and Jack looks his way. His pupils are so large, the normally blue eyes are nearly eclipsed in black. “Watch me,” Sam breathes.

Slowly, Sam unzips his jeans and dips his hand inside. Giving his cock a squeeze, he lets out a short moan, bucking into his own grasp. After this moment of indulgence he shifts his hips, gets the clothing a little farther down, out of the way, and pulls himself out, on full display. Jack’s eyes are fixed on him, mesmerised by the movement of his hand up and down over the flesh. From the corner of his eye, Sam sees Jack fiddling with his own zipper nervously.

“Take yours out too. Show me,” Sam’s voice is gruff. Jack complies, and a thrill shoots through Sam at his easy obedience. “Fuck,” he groans at the sight of Jack’s erection in his hand. The things he wanted to do with that cock… but he takes a breath, pulls his focus back to the present. He starts to jack himself off, watching Jack’s hand brushing gently up and down his own dick while he does, to make sure he’s doing it right, Sam tells himself weakly.

“Oh my god,” Jack moans, speeding his hand up a little to copy Sam.

“Yeah, feels good, doesn’t it?” Sam chuckles, fingers teasing the tip of his cock. Jack makes a pretty little whimper when he tries the same thing.

“Is this what sex feels like?” he asks breathlessly.

“Sex feels even better,” Sam admits through a groan, his dick twitching in his hand. “Pushing your cock inside something warm, and wet, making it yours…” he trails off, reaching his other hand down to cup his balls while he bucks into his fist. “Fuck, Jack, it feels incredible.”

“Holy… shit,” Jack swears, gritting his teeth over the word, and Sam has to bite his tongue to keep from laughing. The boy’s face is a wreck, bright red, and straining with pleasure.

“Jack, look at me,” Sam instructs gently, and Jack turns his head to Sam obediently.

In the same moment, they both lean forward to kiss. Jack pokes his tongue out, traces it over Sam’s lips the way Sam had shown him, and Sam lets him in, sucking the boy’s tongue between his teeth and tangling it with his own. Jack moans and whines, and Sam can feel his hips bucking and shaking the bed each time they land.

“Sam,” Jack groans, voice trapped high and tight in the back of his throat. “Sam, something’s…” he gasps, hips bucking again. “Sam, what’s happening?”

“Just let it happen Jack,” Sam breathes, eyes glued to Jack’s face, which is screwed up in anticipation of his coming climax, though he doesn’t know that’s what it is. “It’s gonna feel so good baby boy, just keep going. Let it happen.” He hadn’t meant to call Jack ‘baby boy’, but it was out there now, and he wasn’t taking it back.

“Saaaam,” Jack whines again, hand flying across his dick, every other muscle in his body pulled taut, waiting.

“Cum for me, Jack,” Sam whispers against his lips. “Just let it go. Want you to cum for me, baby boy.” Sam hears Jack’s strangled yell, and knows what’s happening. Looking down just in time, he sees the final spurts of Jack’s orgasm leak out over the boy’s hand, just as he feels his own hit hotly against his skin.

Part 2 coming to Tumblr on November 13th or read now on my website!

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[samanddeaninpanties]

Title: Lion’s Share 

AO3 Link

Square Filled: Claiming 

Ship: Dean/Jack

Rating: E 

Written for the @winklinebingo 

Tags: Dubious Consent, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Dean Winchester, Alpha Jack Kline, Alpha/Alpha, Omega Sam Winchester (mentioned), Anal Fingering, Rimming, Anal Sex, Knotting, Top Dean Winchester, Bottom Jack Kline, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Dean Winchester, Jealous Dean Winchester, First Time, First Kiss, Banter, Arguing, Violence, the violence is fairly mild it’s mainly just the set-up for the sex, Wall Sex, Age Difference, Barebacking, Mentioned Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Mentioned Jack Kline/Sam Winchester, Come as Lube, Porn, Smut, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Heart-to-Heart, Manhandling, Claiming, Mating Bites, Loss of Control, Roommates, oh my god they were roommates, POV Jack Kline 

Summary: Jack is drawn to unmated omega Sam. His asshole alpha brother Dean is having none of it. 

(A.k.a "Knot the omega you are looking for") 

“What the fuck is this?" Dean snapped, throwing a bouquet of wildflowers at Jack as he stormed into the man-cave. 

Jack caught it but his bowl of Reese’s Puffs cereal spilled and tumbled to the floor. He scowled at Dean and placed the flowers on the arm of the La-Z-Boy recliner. "Don’t tell me you don’t know what flowers are.” 

Dean rolled his eyes. "Why were they in Sam's room?"

"Because I gave them to Sam. Why were you in his room?"

"Putting his laundry in there. That's not the point. I'm pretty fucking tired of you constantly putting moves on him."

Jack raised an eyebrow before turning his attention back to the TV. "Sam's an unmated omega.” 

"And you just conveniently didn't notice my scent marking?" 

"Is that supposed to mean something to me? Your scent is inescapable, Dean. It’s everywhere.” 

Dean snarled and grabbed Jack by his shirt collar and heaved him up out of the chair. "You’re too smart to be so fucking stupid. I meant on Sam."

Jack's breath hitched at Dean's fury but he raised his chin, stomping out any hint of weakness. "No, I didn’t notice."

"Well you should, Jack. Because it’s my knot that gets him through his heats. So I'm gonna tell you straight up: fuck off," Dean said. 

Jack swallowed a groan and tried to extricate himself from Dean’s grasp. "No. Your agreement is out of convenience, not love. Maybe Sam wants to explore his options."

Dean forced Jack backward and slammed Jack against the brick wall by the open door. Sam could come back from the supply run any second and - 

“Get off me," Jack panted and shoved Dean’s chest, hard. 

The push sent Dean off balance but he didn't let go of Jack. He thrust Jack back into the wall and pinned him there. "I don't care what you think you have going on with my brother. He's not available." 

Jack’s insides turned into liquid. "How do you know? Have you asked him what he wants?" 

"Sam is mine. My brother, my omega, mine." There was a pounding in Jack’s blood, a click in his head. Dean’s lips were rosy; fuckable. Maddeningly distracting. Really, Dean’s whole face screamed omega at first blush but Dean had been quick to put those thoughts to bed. 

"He’s never stated that. Can you blame me for trying? Sam's so pretty." Jack sounded needy and mindless rather than confident and in control.

"I don't blame you. I'm just telling you enough is enough.” 

Jack quit trying to escape. It was fruitless. Dean was bigger and stronger and he just couldn’t. "Did you really think that if you ordered me to stop I’d obey?"

"Maybe I should put you in your place then." 

Jack jolted, dick straining. Disgusting. Shameful. And so hot. His eyes wandered to the Foosball table, the unfinished bar, Dean’s toys, his whole domain. He was just another thing in Dean’s den to be used as Dean saw fit. "If you're trying to scare me it’s not going to work.” 

Dean snickered. "Thought so. You dirty boy. Moaning and whining like a bitch in heat while I touch you."

Jack was dripping inside his pants. It didn't even matter that Dean was laughing at him, his dick, his knot, knew what it wanted. "You’re not my type,” Jack lied because he wasn’t ready to inflate Dean’s overblown ego just yet. 

"Your type seems to be oversized omegas but we're going to fix that, aren't we?" Dean maneuvered Jack so he was facing the wall. “You want me to fuck you, Jack? Claim you?"

"Dean," Jack keened, canting his hips. His mind was stuck on claim claim claim. Such a derogatory word to use when playing with another alpha. 

Dean dragged his teeth over the nape of Jack's neck. A threat, a tease. So unfair. "Bet you wish you could get wet for me." He snaked an arm around Jack's body, found his cock. Squeezed it. "I should keep you both.” 

Jack groaned, rocking against Dean’s hand. Dean’s hand was fire, it was a brand. "You don't even like me." 

"Who said I don't like you?" 

"You did with your attitude. All the glaring and baring of teeth," Jack rasped and looked over his shoulder so he could gaze into Dean’s piercing eyes. 

"Yeah, well. Maybe if you didn't choose to sniff around Sam... “ Dean pushed Jack's shirt up and over his head and threw it on the floor. 

Jack drifted away from the wall, facing Dean to give him better access. "It was like that before I 'sniffed around Sam.'"

"Whatever." Dean started on Jack's pants. Once Jack was naked, Dean roughly grabbed Jack’s chin and consumed him with a heated kiss. His free hand stroked Jack. Slow. Torturous. 

Until it wasn’t. 

Dean let out a growl that shook Jack down to his bones, his innermost parts. He manhandled Jack back into position, nose facing the wall like he was a naughty child in time-out. And then Dean was sinking to his knees. 

“What are you - oh!” Jack’s body threatened to collapse when Dean pulled his cheeks apart and buried his face between them, forcing his tongue into Jack’s hole. A place he’d never let anyone. A place that was only Jack’s. 

Dean was deadset on barreling through any boundary Jack had ever had without bothering to ask him if it was okay. And Jack couldn’t even be mad, no one had ever made him feel this wanted, this desirable. 

“Two little omegas,” Dean purred against hot flesh. His tongue was slippery-wet, fucking in and out, making Jack’s toes curl. Too much, not enough. “All for me.” 

“Not an omega.” 

“You will be when I’m finished with you.” 

Jack wanted to laugh at the sheer idiocy of Dean’s statement. The certainty. Dean was letting his inner alpha run wild and dominate every part of their interaction and it showed. “You’re delusional.” 

“Nah. I just know a knot-slut when I smell one,” Dean said and went right back to destroying Jack with that wicked tongue. Dean’s hand found Jack’s cock again and pumped him expertly as he ate Jack out. “Come on, baby. Give up the goods, make a mess in my hand. You know I need it, we need it,” Dean said, using his alpha voice. 

Jack’s window of opportunity, his chance to fight tooth and nail, was long gone - not that it ever would’ve ended differently. Dean was too strong and Jack didn’t really want to get away, even if it meant the humiliation of being taken and claimed rather than being the one doing the claiming. 

Dean wanted him, a turn of events he wouldn’t have expected a few short weeks ago. Actually, he wouldn’t have thought it possible twelve hours ago - 

“Jack,” Dean said, nipping Jack’s ass cheek. Jack came with a soft whine into Dean’s hand, his sloppy, tongue-fucked hole clenching greedily. 

“Oh, baby. You can do better than that,” Dean purred. Dean waited a few beats before pressing two come-slick fingers into Jack. 

“I don’t understand.” 

“Gotta scream for me, Jack. Gotta beg me real sweet.” 

“Dean, no,” Jack said, his voice wavering as he fucked himself on Dean’s hand. 

“Nuh-uh, try again. Dean, yes.” Dean added another finger and Jack was afraid he’d break, that he was being pushed beyond his limit, beyond what his body could take. His hole felt so small with Dean inside him, how on earth was an alpha cock supposed to fit? 

“Can’t -” 

“Yeah, you can, baby. And you will. And you want it.” When Dean started to withdraw his fingers Jack tried to turn and see - but Dean was prepared for that. “No moving. Not yet.” 

Jack huffed and settled. “You’re really starting to get on my nerves, Dean.” 

“Welcome to the club,” Dean said, his giant hands using Jack for support as he returned to his feet. He only removed his hands long enough to rid himself of his clothes, tossing them into a messy pile, and then he was back to crowding Jack against the wall. And oh, Dean’s cock burned even hotter than his hands. He humped between Jack’s cheeks, making his home near Jack’s hole. Ready to claim it properly any second. “That’s how you make me feel all the time.” 

“So, I was right! You can’t stand me,” Jack said, trying to avoid the sting, trying to ignore the ache and embarrassment. He’d been told more than once he was too sensitive for his own good. His hurt was confirmation, proof the criticisms were correct. 

Dean kissed the nape of Jack’s neck, dragged his lips along it. Jack’s body was a treacherous thing because he arched into the contact like the slut Dean had proven him to be. “It’s complicated. C’mon Jack, don’t act like you don’t get it. Sometimes love can be hateful. We hurt people we love more than we hurt people we couldn’t give a damn about.” 

“Shut up, Dean.” 

“Aw, baby. I have what you need,” Dean crooned and began pressing his cock into Jack’s ass. 

The impossible stretch made Jack’s eyes water. “I can’t,” Jack choked out. He squirmed as Dean sank deeper and Jack’s inner alpha screamed at Jack to fight. To push Dean away. Out. “You have to -” 

“Relax.” Dean soothed his big, callused hand over Jack’s lower back. “You’ll work yourself into a panic if you don’t.” 

“No, Dean, you don’t understand. We were wrong to try. Alphas aren’t made to fit a knot,” Jack said, his last words breaking and twisting into a moan. 

“Feels right to me. Looks awesome, too.” Dean grabbed the meat of Jack’s ass. Spread Jack’s cheeks as he continued to glide in, punching the air out of him with each thrust. Jack could only ride the waves of discomfort in hopes he came out the other side relatively unscathed. “Your hole is doing the work it needs to do. I’ve got you.” 

“Okay, Dean,” Jack groaned. Nodded. He ached more than anything but Dean believed Jack could handle Dean’s cock - so Jack could trust him. 

“I wanna take you hard,” Dean panted, licking a hot stripe along Jack’s neck. 

“You really wanna mess me up, don’t you?” 

Dean laughed and shoved in brutally, cock pulsing with the need to knot. “Only in the best ways.” 

“Please shut up.” The pace was quick. Bruising. There was a choking relief at being fucked. 

“Oh, I got a ‘please’ this time? Gotta mark this on my calendar, write it down in my diary. ‘I dicked Jack so good he said please. Can’t wait to do it again.’” 

“You really are an asshole,” Jack said, face flaming from humiliation as Dean cackled like a lunatic. Dean was teasing Jack and it wasn’t nice - but he’d said something very important, too. Something Jack needed clarification on. “Do you wanna fuck me again, though?” 

Dean hummed. Kissed the lobe of his ear. Breathed into it. “Hell yeah.” 

Jack whined and yelped as Dean’s next shove hit just right. “Dean, you’re killing me.” 

“Better start working on your stamina, kid, because I have no interest in going easy on you. Ever,” Dean promised as he plunged deep into Jack. 

Jack came unexpectedly with a sob, lost as Dean fucked him through the aftershocks. “Dean - please. Please can we -” his voice cut off, moaning as Dean pulled out of him. His ruined hole clenched on nothing. An eager, hungry thing. 

“C’mon,” Dean ordered, tugging Jack away from the wall and over to the recliner. Dean sat first, patting his lap expectantly. “Sit on me, baby.” 

Jack didn’t need to be told twice. His legs were desperate for a break. He scrambled onto Dean’s cock as fast as his body would let him, moaning as he sank down, taking everything. His puffy, abused hole so happy to be filled with Dean’s giant cock. “You have to come, too, don’t leave me alone,” Jack finally rasped, rolling his hips.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be with you in a minute,” Dean purred. Squeezing the globes of Jack’s ass. 

When Dean’s knot started to inflate it was bigger than anything Jack had imagined, it filled up every empty space and then some, and Jack thought he’d scream or stop breathing altogether when Dean’s knot almost popped out and he dragged Jack closer to him, making sure his knot and come stayed in. “Told you. I’m too small,” Jack said faintly as more of Dean’s come shot inside. 

“I disagree,” Dean said in his smug alpha tone then bit down on Jack’s neck, leaving a raw, tender wound. A claiming mark. “Mine.” 

“Dean. I didn’t say you could do that.” There was a not-so-secret part of him that liked it, that just needed to be forced. Playing with Dean made him feel insane. 

“You didn’t have to.” Jack smacked Dean’s chest and he caught Jack’s wrist in his tight grip. 

“Need more training, huh? Maybe when my knot goes down I should tie your feisty little ass up in my room, keep you near me always.” 

Jack bared his teeth. “Dean, you can tease me all you want, it doesn’t change anything. I’m an alpha. Not an omega. I’m going to keep wanting what I want.” 

“You still want Sam.” Relief trickled into Jack. It wasn’t a question. Maybe they were getting somewhere, maybe there was hope this could end without too much drama or tears. “I get it. Anyone with half a brain does.” Dean faltered, fell silent again. Jack tried to give Dean room to think, tried to wait. For a few seconds, anyway. He wracked his brain for a solution. Couldn’t leave Dean alone. Coax it out of him. Jack tossed his head, gazed at Dean through his lashes, and milked Dean’s knot. Come on, Dean. You can do it. And then - success. Dean’s eyes softened and he let go of Jack’s wrist. “You got under my skin in a way others didn’t. Hasn’t done great things for me. I know Sammy loves me. But I could just stick with him the rest of my life and be happy - I don’t think the same could be said about him. So, yeah, maybe I was feeling a little, uh, threatened by you or whatever.” 

For a heartbeat, Dean looked so damned sad. Little boy lost. It was gone in a blink but Jack had seen it. Dean’s insecurities, his fears, laid bare for Jack. “You know he doesn’t need to choose, right? If Sam needs more than just you… he could have it all? We could share?” Jack placed a hand on Dean’s cheek. “I won’t try to replace you, Dean.” 

Dean hummed. His gaze roamed over Jack, making Jack’s heart jump. “Maybe you could have a supervised session. If you can earn it. I want you all to myself right now, though.” Dean didn’t give Jack a chance to pout, pulling him into another life-changing kiss. 

“If you want me all to yourself, fucking me with the door wide open was a bad idea. What if Sam sees?” Jack croaked when the kiss broke. Dean tweaked Jack’s nipples, growling playfully. Even if Jack wasn’t full of Dean’s knot, he had a feeling Dean wouldn’t bother locking them away somewhere safe and private. 

Maybe that was a good thing. 

Jack let himself melt into Dean and drifted off on his knot. 

[jackandthesoulmates]

The Fox, The Serpent and The Vulture

Author: jackandthesoulmates / tintentrinkerin

Title: The Fox, The Serpent and The Vulture

Created for @winklinebingo, @spnkinkbingo, @deanandsambingo, @samwinchesterbingo

Squares filled: Bisexual (winklinebingo / deanandsambingo), gender swap (samwinchesterbingo), cunnilingus (spnkinkbingo)

Pairing: Winkline & Wincest

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: smut, bdsm themes

Additional tags: fem!jack, threesome, squirting, top!sam, dirty talk

Word count: 4,975

It was a joke, really.

Neither Sam nor Dean meant anything by it when, in a whiskey driven conversation, they told Jack about the "girl thing".

"What’s the girl thing?", Jack asked, totally unimpressed by whiskey.

Alcohol never affected him really. Sam and Dean laughed about it, nudged each other, like they sometimes did. Looking at each other sneakily. It made Jack jealous and happy at the same time. Dean leaned forward and almost fell off the couch but Sam had his back.

"Easy."

"I’m easy."

"Yeah, I know."

Dean snorted and brushed Sam’s hand away.

"So, listen, Jackyboy. Sam and I once opened one of the locked rooms here in the bunker. The whole room was full with black magic stuff. We found vials with cum-"

Sam interrupted, "How about you leave the gritty details and tell him about the girl thing."

"Yeah, right. The girl thing."Dean chuckled.

He had a slight squint when he was drunk and Jack loved this detail about him a lot.

"We’ve found something that looked like a normal wooden box. Well, I thought it’s just a damn wooden box, what could happen? It had no symbols, no runes, nothing that would tell you to keep your frickin’ hands off the thing, you know? And it felt light, nothing clattering inside. So I opened it. And whoosh! Next thing I know is Sam and I had boobs."

Jack frowned.

"Just boobs?"

Sam cleared his throat and intervened before Dean could say any more.

"No, not only boobs. We were kind of… sex swapped. We were girls."

It looked like Sam wouldn’t like the topic of having boobs and Jack didn’t ask any further. He knew Dean would spill more information sooner or later like he always did when he had half a bottle of Jim or Jack or whoever.

"Yeah and it was awesome, kid. Having boobs is the bomb, you can just, you know? Touch yourself all day? I spent a lot of time playing with my nipples."

"He did."

"Sam, did you play with your nipples, too?"

A fine, sticky spray of whiskey blew across the room when Sam spat his drink in surprise. Dean had to help him, pat his back and make him drink some water before Sam could really answer to that.

"He didn’t", Dean laughed, still rubbing Sam’s back, "I played with his nipples. And his p-"

"Dean! Jack, you go to bed, I think we shouldn’t have any more whiskey."

Sam was still coughing up and Jack worried he might really swallowed too much alcohol. Jack once choked on soda, it was icky.

Later when Sam brought Jack to his room, Jack waited five minutes before sneaking out again. As usual, Dean’s door stood open just enough to peek through. Jack sometimes did that. He didn’t mean to peep on the brothers, it just happened one day and now here he was. Again.

"Damn, I would kill to eat some pussy", Dean groaned, rolling in the sheets.

He was naked completely and obviously horny, his cock was hard and Jack’s mouth watered at the sight. Now he could see Sam come out of the ensuite bathroom, naked as well. Sam’s cock was bigger than Dean’s, and when Jack compared it to his own, he also outclassed the Nephil. Jack loved looking at Sam and Dean like this, he loved seeing them fuck.

He could hear Sam sigh, see him rub his full, deliciously hard length two times before crawling on Dean’s bed.

"Yeah, sometimes some pussy would be nice."

Sam gripped Dean’s hair and bent his head back. Jack could hear Dean groan and saw his toes curl when Sam’s hand wrapped around Dean’s cock and jerked him in a hard and fast pace.

"Fuck, Sammy…"

"I would love to have some pussy, too, brother. Your pretty hole is so tight and hot, but it’s not wet itself, lubricating is so time consuming."

Sam spat in his hand and then continued jerking Dean, who was whimpering now, burying his face on Sam’s broad, heaving chest.

"Sammy, I’d love to see you fuck a girl…"

"I know, I know, you dirty little cuck… you nasty pervert. It’s never enough for you…"

The way Sam talked to Dean made even Jack painfully hard.

And that’s when Jack tiptoed back to his room. First he got off on the sight of such a subby Dean and a dominant, calm, and adamantine Sam. When Jack would focus on it, he could even hear Dean’s whimpers and moans, and for God’s sake he could hear these dirty things Sam whispered in Dean’s ear, about what a filthy whore he was. Jack could hear the grunting, oh fuckfuckfuck, the grunting made him cum twice. Usually, when the brothers were done having sex, Jack would always retreat and let them have their cuddling and whisper the sweeter nothings in privacy.

In this very heated and whiskey drenched night Jack decided to give it a go.

It was easy, way too easy, when Jack thought about it thoroughly. Sometimes Sam was maybe right, using his powers for shenanigans like this was a bit risky, stupid, useless?

They said, they missed a girl in bed.

The only logical conclusion to Jack was, if he wanted to please the brothers (and he wanted to!), to become a girl. Finally make them notice Jack as a sexual being.

God dammit, all Jack wanted was to finally get fucked.

Dean draws his gun first when he sees the girl sitting in the library. She’s buried in a book, glossy honey blonde hair falling down like a curtain, hiding her face.

"Who are you? Show yourself!", Dean commands.

Weapon on the ready, Dean steps down the stairs and approaches her, but when she looks up he feels like he is in some weird dream. He lowers the gun and opens his mouth. It takes a breath or two before he processes what he sees.

"Jack?"

Jack, or the female version of Jack, smiles at him and gets up. She’s slender, but has well rounded, big breasts and wide hips. Dean gulps. Jack is a pretty boy, but he is a hell of a stunning woman. If it’s really him.

"Yes, it’s me."

His voice is high and clear as a bell, hair is long and thick, reaching down to his hip. Jack turns around two times and shows off his body to Dean.

"Do you like it, Dean?", he asks.

Dean raises his eyebrows and he feels a tingle. That’s not possible. He’s not hot for Jack. No no.

"You look pretty, but-" Dean must lower the gun. "Why are you- I mean? How? Did you touch a cursed object?"

Jack laughs. Oh dear, that sounds so sweet.

"No, I wanted to try it. Be a girl. You made me curious, to be honest. With the boobs thing."

"Yeah, right. The boob thing."

Dean roughly remembers this night a few days ago when he definitely dropped too much information. Again. It always happens when he gets drunk, comfortable and maybe a bit horny. What really puts Dean off here is that female Jack wears a mini skirt and a crop top. Overall he reveals a lot of his body. Sam would definitely act all motherly now and give Jack something to put on. Just so Sam could hide he’d be turned on by that sight as well. It was like Jack could read minds. That Sam and Dean just didn’t get the girl thing out of their heads. How could he know?

Dean has even downloaded a dating app to maybe look for a girl interested in having a threesome with him and Sam.

"I’m glad you like it. Pink is my color, I think. And white. Oh, and gold. Doesn’t it suit me? What do you think?"

"Uh", Dean says. Very clever, Winchester.

This is when Sam finally comes to the rescue.

"What’s going on here? Dean what- What is that?"

"That is Jack", Dean says.

"I see that", Sam replies, also a little confused, "but why are you female all of a sudden?"

They settle the argument about why and how Jack became a girl, just like that. He told them he just wished for it to happen and after an hour of sleep he woke up like this.

Both Winchesters are intrigued. Dean can’t even hide how attracted he is to Jack’s appearance, Sam is more distant, but Jack is able to feel both of their heartbeats if he wants to. And their bodies are ooze sex hormones in doses that would even make humans smell and jump at it.

They smell sweet and tangy. Jack knows it, he smells it a lot around the bunker. He would describe it like the smell of black berries and juniper if someone asked him to put it in over-embellished words.

It’s deeply satisfying to see them squirm and reek of lust. Jack needs to be careful though. He knows it’s a very fine line he’s tumbling along.

It’s the same evening and the mood shifts.

Whiskey time again for Dean. He��s chugging lots and Sam is doing a lot of booze, too. Jack is pretty sure it’s their way of coping, soften the edges of the new situation but all they do is go deep down the rabbithole. The inhibition threshold sinks with every sip of whiskey.

Jack didn’t change his clothes, he’s still wearing the white crop top and the pink tartan miniskirt, his thighs decorated with stockings. He likes the golden jewellery, it’s shiny and warm in the dim light of the lamps in the library. But what he did… he put off the bra and the thong he was wearing this afternoon.

So far, he’s modest, or appears so, legs crossed and clinging on his whiskey tumbler. He’s a trap and ready for one of the Winchesters to finally take the bait. He’s here, he’s willing and both of them lick their lips by just looking at him. Sam is so disciplined, avoids Jack’s gaze but Jack knows he’s looking between Jack’s thighs. He imagines how warm and wet Jack would be.

It’s Dean, who breaks the seal then, like Jack thought. Maybe he would’ve done it himself, if Dean didn’t go forward.

"I wonder what your boobs feel like."

Sam’s breathing stops. Jack rejoices.

"You want to touch them?", he offers, bending forward, now revealing his cleavage to the brothers and it’s obvious he doesn’t wear a bra.

There’s a moment of insecurity, Dean and Sam exchange a very telling look.

"Yeah wanna", Dean slurs.

Jack looks over to Sam.

"You wanna touch them, too?", he asks hopefully.

Sam just looks at him with dark eyes, his jaw clenched, lips a thin line.

"I guess that’s a no?", Jack now teases.

He gets up and climbs in Dean’s lap, grabs his head and presses Dean’s face in his cleavage. There’s half hearted fightback before Dean leans in and utters muffled curses on Jack’s skin. Jack is sensitive, even more than as with his male body, and he can feel Dean’s excitement grow in his pants. With a satisfied sigh Jack looks over to Sam.

Invites him. Lures him.

Come on, Sam. I know you want it. You want me.

Dean’s hands wander over Jack’s skin, makes him sigh and tingle between his legs. One hand is worming under the seam of Jack’s miniskirt, slides down the curve of his mound and then stops. Dean moans and pulls back. His green eyes are beaming with arousal. Jack grins.

"Shit, you’re not wearing panties."

"No, I’m not. You like it?"

"You bet I do!"

Dean’s hand is warm and rough, feels strong. Jack unzips the miniskirt at the back and loosens the seam to make it easier for Dean to slide his hand deeper. Both gasp at the sensation when Dean rubs Jack’s clit, just slightly. Jack’s hips jerk up. It feels great. Raw. Intense. Jack’s hand cups Dean’s, encourages him to continue.

"Dean", Jack whispers against Dean’s cheek. "It feels so good."

Sam gets up. It’s a sudden movement and Dean and Jack flinch simultaneously. Jack looks up in Sam’s face and he damn, he looks angry. Barely containing something primal, rageous.

"Sammy, you good?", Dean slurs, looking up at his brother.

He’s swaying gently, like in a subtle breeze. Without another word Sam drags Jack away from Dean and throws Jack over his shoulder. Jack is so surprised, he can’t even fight back or resist.

"You’re coming with us, Jack", Sam says, his voice sharp and low.

Oh God, yes. That’s the tone Jack wants to hear.

"Where are you taking me?", he asks, head dangling down, nose brushing Sam’s back.

Sam’s hands hold Jack tight, one on his thigh, dangerously close to Jack’s buttcheeks, the other around Jack’s now tiny shoulders.

"To bed", is all Sam says.

Jack is let down. Not in a soft or gentle way, it’s more another throw on the bed. He feels like he’s become prey and Sam is the predator.

The mattress is hard, harder than the one in Jack’s bed. He doesn’t mind at all though. Lying on his back Jack gets up on his elbows and looks over to the brothers. Sam towers over Jack like a dark broad mountain. Jack loves the sight of Sam, he always has. Since the day Jack was born. Sam was the first person he did ever see. His picture would always be the first thing he’d think about when he woke, when he fell asleep and all the daydreaming in between. He gasps softly while Sam takes off the skirt that’s already hanging on his hips crookedly. Sam looks up. Oh this grin. It gives Jack violent shivers.

"Dean? What do you think? Who should eat this pussy out first? You? Me? Hm?", Sam purrs while he gets up to peel himself out of his shirt and plaid. Dean does the same. His ears are beaming red and Jack feels for Dean’s heart, beating like a hummingbird. He’s nervous. That’s cute and unusual, Dean didn’t lose his cool that easily. Only Sam would always appear even calmer. Even now.

"I want Dean first", Jack whispers.

Sam raises an eyebrow. Looks at Dean. Dean smirks and says:

"I don't mind."

Jack reaches for Dean while Sam lays down beside them. Dean's weight feel calming for Jack, who gets shivers and an ohsobeating heart himself. When their lips touch and Dean's tongue slides in Jack's mouth both start moaning. Jack's hips thrust up in a sudden jolt of heat. He knows it's arousal, he kept jerking in his hand when he masturbated to the thought of Sam and Dean fucking. But this feeling is so much more intense. It's a heat that feels like his belly is swelling first, then clenching together. Dean tastes of whiskey and honey, it's a pleasant taste mixed with his sweet heavy scent of desire. Jack pulls Dean closer and moans softly in his open mouth. His legs open freely for what's to come.

"Damn, Jack… you make me feel all dizzy…", Dean groans.

Jack chuckles quietly and combs his hair.

"Please go down on me", he says. "Show me how you treat a girl."

There's a growl. It's Sam's. Jack is wildly aware that he's watching them, rubbing his cock through his pants. And Dean does what Jack pleads him to, he slides down Jack's now soft body, covers it in kisses. It makes Jack thrust up again and sigh in pleasure. This is his first time, it doesn't scare him at all. He's aroused, he's hot, enjoyable shivers all over. Dean's fingers feel over Jack's thighs, rub gently. He takes his time to explore Jack a little. Kiss his belly button, his hips and over Jack's hairless mound.

"You even shaved for us, look at that", Dean purrs.

Sam's hands pull up the crop top and reveal Jack's full and round breasts. His nipples are hard already and when Sam bends over to suck them Jack jerks up again.

"It's so good", he moans, breathless. "Don't stop. Claim me."

It makes Sam growl again, show his teeth and bite Jack's sensitive nipples. Dean's face disappears between Jack's legs. Jack has of course basic knowledge of the male and female body, he knows what Dean is about to do. He read that some women like, some don't.

Dean's warm and pliant tongue slides between Jack's labia, exploring slowly but it's enough for Jack to whimper and cover his mouth with a hand. He's so loud!

"No, no. Don't."

Sam forces Jack's hand away.

"You sound so sweet, Jack. Your girl voice is as wonderful as your usual one."

Oh how is Sam so gentle and so cruel at the same time?

Jack can't answer, he's too distracted by Dean's warm tongue licking up and down his labia and then meeting the clit. Jack feels like he's about to die. Explode. Combust. He fists the sheets and his legs kick helplessly.

It's wonderful, agonizing. Jack wants to get away from Dean's tongue that licks along his pussy and on the other hand he wants grip Dean tighter, force his tongue inside and make him fuck Jack. Slowly, Dean's lips cup Jack's clit. He sucks on it. Just slightly. There's not much suction needed to make Jack go crazy.

"Fuck… oh…"

Dean's fingers brush along Jack's trembling thighs and then, Jack feels one finger sliding inside. Dean groans against Jack's clit and pulls back for a moment.

"Fuck, you're so wet."

Dean slides finger in and out, slowly, enjoyable and arches it.

"Is she now? Let me feel it."

Sam's hand lingers down and pushes Dean's hand away. Sam's finger is bigger. Longer. But Dean's is deliciously thick. Stretching him. Sam feels for Jack's vagina and rubs his insides softly.

"You're right. Jackgirl here is soaking wet. Damn, I bet you taste like heaven. Come, have a lick."

Jack licks his own juice off Sam's finger, sucks it, while Dean sucks on the swollen and sensitive clit. He adds another finger. It hurts a bit, but Jack is too excited to give a damn about it. Dean's finger and his tongue make him lose control over his voice.

"More", Jack whines, "gimme more, Dean, I wanna cum… I wanna cum so bad…"

Both brothers utter their pleasure noises, soft moans from Dean and a guttural deep sound coming com Sam. Dean’s fingers stretch Jack apart and after a few thrusts that feel like he’s still holding back, he starts fucking Jack with his fingers. It’s a hard rhythm and the arched fingers rub a sweet spot inside Jack. The pressure builds and builds and he’s thrusting against Dean’s fingers, wants to feel them deeper, harder, more. His tongue circles around Jack’s clit, and that’s what drives Jack crazy the most. It feels like an open flame held against sensitive skin. His fingers tangle in Dean’s hair, pulling it. Pulling them closer together. Dean’s grinding the mattress now, moans dripping over his lips while sucking and licking Jack into new heights.

"I’m gonna cum", Jack cries, "oh God I’m gonna…"

Dean’s movements are almost frantic now and his moans turn into hoarse and deep growls. Jack’s eyes roll back, but Sam forces him to look him in the eyes.

"Look at me, baby", Sam whispers, "Let me see how you cum…"

Jack moans loudly, too turned on to care. The tension in his body reaches the maximum and then, with a sudden and heavenly feeling of release Jack cums. He looks in Sam’s dark eyes while his body arches and his legs kick, his hips thrust against Dean’s face.

It’s a feeling of being blown away completely, the convulsions of his body shake him violently and then, after the first big boom Jack falls back in the sheets, fingers still entangled with Dean’s hair.

The mattress feels wet around his buttcheeks and when Dean looks up, he smirks and says, obviously very pleased, "Who thought Jackgirl would be a squirter."

"He is?", Sam asks and looks down at Dean.

He notices Dean’s wet face and when Dean pulls out his fingers - Jack winces and feels empty - he shows that his hand and arm are wet. Jack’s juices are running down Dean’s wrist and chin and drip on the mattress.

"Not much, but… yeah. We can work on that."

Jack feels embarrassed and covers his face with one hand.

"Is that good or bad? Oh God I ruined the sheets."

Sam chuckles and kisses Jack’s forehead.

"It’s nothing bad, not at all. It turns us on, actually."

"A lot", Dean adds.

Jack sighs in relief.

"Oh, good. I was worried for a moment."

Dean gets up and lies down beside Jack, he’s in the middle of the Winchester’s now, Sam nibbling on his neck and Dean’s hand gropes Jack’s tits, which doesn’t feel bad at all. It feels great. He gets to kiss each of them, feel their tongues and hungry mouths. Their aching for more and Jack is aching as well. There’s so much he wants to try while the spell lasts.

"Fuck me", he mumbles at Sam’s lips, feeling for Dean’s hand. "Both of you."

They need to contain themselves but Jack can sense their heartbeats, jumping wildly and oh god, that sweet heavy smell they ooze from every pore. He turns to Sam, one hand is still wrapped around Dean.

"You first", he whispers, "you get to have your cock in my pussy first.."

"As you wish, sweetheart", Sam coos, pressing a kiss on Jack’s lips.

It’s such a tender gesture, Jack wonders how Sam manages to stay that calm when Jack and Dean are the ones being over excited. Sam gets up and pulls his pants plus underwear down and damn, he’s big. Jack has only seen him from afar until today but now he sees how thick he is. Oh, holy son of God, will he be able to take it? Dean kisses Jack’s shoulder, but Jack feels how he peels himself out of the rest of his clothes, too.

When Sam mounts Jack, it feels like the room gets suddenly darker, Sam is just huge in every sense of the word. It’s thrilling and Jack feels his hips grind against Sam’s. They share a breathless kiss before Sam pulls away and spreads Jack’s legs.

"Damn, you’re so wet, I bet that’s not gonna hurt at all. But if it does, tell me."

Jack nods. He doesn’t mind a bit of pain if that means to finally feel Sam all the way inside.

Sam looks at Dean.

"And you, babe. Look closely how I stretch her for you. Are you jealous already?"

They exchange a glance and a hint of a smile. It’s their game, Jack knows. And he loves to be part of it and give both something they desire. It’s more than just about the sex, Jack knows.

Dean then looks down on himself, slightly stroking. He’s even thicker than Sam; the sight makes Jack shiver in anticipation.

"Yes, a bit, Sammy…"

"I wish you had such a tight wet pussy, it’s so much better…"

Dean’s eyes turn wet, but he loves it, Jack can see it all over, Dean is beaming.

Sam wraps his cock, holds it steady. Jack watches him closely, how he comes closer and then Sam’s tip rubs over Jack’s clit and he moans. It feels good, the friction itself is already making him ache for an orgasm again.

Sam’s cock slides in, inch after inch. The stretch hurts, but Jack is indeed so wet, so slippery, Sam goes all the way in. He groans and Jack’s fingernails scratch his arm.

"Oh fuck,... Sam…!"

Dean moans and almost squishes Jack’s long thin fingers with the pressure. Jack wraps his legs around Sam’s hips and even lets him glide in a tiny bit deeper.

"Hurts?"

"Yes, but not very much. Keep going…"

Jack relaxes, but his legs press Sam close, there’s no way he can retreat much now.

"Come on, touch her clit, babe", Sam whispers to Dean.

And he does as wished, Jack loves it and encourages Dean "Yes, touch me, please, I wanna cum again… feel my swollen clit, rub it."

It drives Jack crazy, how both of them now stimulate his body, rub and circle his clit and Sam’s delicious big cock is pounding inside him.

"Sam.. Sam, I wanna… I wanna ride you", Jack moans, feeling the climax coming, but it’s not enough just yet. He needs more.

"Hmmm, yes, sure, baby… Can do that…"

Sam pulls out and lies down, Jack straddles him and uses his hand to let Sam penetrate him the right angle. He puts his hands beside Sam’s hips and starts moving, starts showing off his boobs and Sam touches them while thrusting up. Fuck, Sam is a sight! It makes Jack even wetter and Dean kneels him now, reaching forward and rubbing Jack’s clit through two of his fingers.. Jack cries and leans against Dean’s chest. He’s covered in sweat already. Dean’s other hand fists Jack’s hair. It’s all over the best thing Jack could ever think of, being in the middle of the men he wants so bad.

"You’re so big, Sam, so fucking big… I can’t…", Jack cries and gasps for air, "I’m gonna cum already…"

"That’s it, baby, yes that’s it, cum on my cock… Make me wet, babygirl."

Jack shudders, the nickname makes him feel girly and small, but also divine. Sam loves it. Dean loves it. Jack loves it! The feeling of pressure and tension grows and grows, Jack’s movements stagger, but he needs more and more. Harder. Dean’s fingers are drenched in Jack’s wetness and his clit feels like it’s bursting. And then Jack cums on top of Sam. Dean holds him up that he won’t fall over, presses his fingers in Jack’s sensitive, now over stimulated skin. Sam’s fingertips dig deep in Jack’s hips as he thrusts up. He looks like he’s about to break into violence, Jack knows this facial expression. When Sam is hunting a thing down and he owns it, before breaking its neck. Jack shudders and mumbles sweet and encouraging nothings.

"Yes, Sam, please fill me up, I want your cum inside me... Give it to me!"

Sam growls and then slams his cock inside Jack, it makes him tumble and needs to grip Dean's hands to hold him steady, then Sam cums. His sounds are animalistic and raw, Jack loves every second of it. From behind, Dean’s raging erection presses against Jack’s ass and he knows it’s time also for him. Jack crawls off Sam, who is breathing heavy, hissing when he slides out of Jack’s dripping wet and stretched vagina. But he rolls to the side and lets Jack have the space he needs. He’s on all fours now, wiggling his butt against Dean.

"I know you want it, come here and fuck me… use your brothers’ cum as lube, huh?"

It’s a surprise - Dean pushes Jack’s back down, makes him to arch it and then even forces his face in the pillows. Jack moans, overwhelmed, but definitely turned on. Dean is way rougher than he appears, his cock slams into Jack’s dripping vagina like a battering ram, makes Jack cry and plead. Not to make him stop. Jack wants more. Needs more. God, he wants it to hurt, he wants to feel Sam and Dean until tomorrow.

"Yes, like that… Dean! Yesyesyes… FUCKYES!", Jack cries out, muffled through the fabric of the pillow.

"Yeah, fuck her thoroughly", Sam coos.

Kissing sounds.

"Ruin her for everyone else but us…"

Dean grunts and with a few hard thrusts he spills inside Jack, his fingernails must leave marks on his hips and ass, like Sam’s did already. He collapses onto Jack’s back and Jack relaxes, breathing heavy but he’s fine.

"Sammy", Dean whimpers, "Oh no, ah,... yes!"

"What are you guys doing?", Jack asks, there’s too much weight on him right now to turn around.

"Ah, just fingered him a bit through his orgasm."

Sam sounds utterly pleased with what he did and obviously it’s the right thing, because Dean is still shaking, his softening cock slowly slips out of Jack’s pussy.

"Damn, you guys are kinky…"

Dean laughs in a low croaky voice.

"You have no idea, sweetheart. Not yet."

When Dean finally gets off Jack and rolls beside him, Sam behind Dean, spooning him, Jack breathes in and out, eyes closed. His long glossy hair is a mess and when he opens his eyes for a moment, he looks at Dean with a satisfaction that’s beyond anything Jack ever hoped for.

"It’s pretty awesome, being a girl. I mean, being a girl in this household."

Dean brushes some strands of blonde hair out of Jack’s face and grins.

"Yeah, that was pretty amazing…", he admits. Sam kisses his shoulder and nods.

"It was. Thank you."

Jack blushes.

"No need to thank me, I wanted it as bad as you."

The brothers look at him, at first Jack thinks, they’re smug, but actually they just look very satisfied. Lush.

"How long will you stay like this?", Sam asks.

"I can uphold a shapeshift up to the next new moon", Jack adds. "It’s nothing that causes me a lot of work, it’s a simple spell."

"Simple, yet effective."

Jack laughs.

"Effective indeed."

After a few moments of silence, Jack feels wetness all over his body and when he gets on his arms to stand up, he feels it running down his legs.

"I’m oozing", he says, looking at Sam and Dean.

This time the grin is damn smug.

"Just the way we like it."

Another breathing silence.

"So, when’s the next new moon?"

[tintentrinkerin]

Innocence Lost

Parte One of the Series ‘Hedgehog Dilemma’

Rating: Mature Pairings: Dean/Castiel, Sam/Jack eventually Tags: Dysfunctional Relationships, Virginity, Dating Apps, Sexting Mention, Teen Rebellion, Attempted Noncon, First Kiss, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse, Dean has issues, short Jack/OFC, Date Rape Drugs/Roofies, Angelic Powers, Alternative Canon, Canon Bending Summary: Jack is curious about love and sex but none of his foster fathers are helping. Created for @winklinebingo Squares filled: Virginity, Teen Rebellion, Sexting, Dating Apps ~Inspired by Gods and Monsters by Lana Del Rey, but in the version of AESTHETIC PERFECTION~ Seriously, listen to it. It’s amazing.  Word count: 15.6k Read under the cut or on AO3

I Was An Angel

She’s a pretty girl. She really is.

Long curly, glossy hair and she always smells like flowers. Or cherries. Sometimes bubblegum. Jack is very sensitive to sweet smells and tastes and this girl is just a bouquet of the sugary and most flowery things. He likes smelling her and he likes her voice, it always sounds like she’s singing or telling a fairytale. She even has a princess name: Aurora.

Her eyes remind him of Castiel, intense blue with yellow speckles. Jack has read some love poems before, by Shakespeare and Wilde and Rilke and he thought of this girl when he read them. She is love poem perfect.

But, look. Thing is, yes she’s cute, she’s stunning, she’s like a spring breeze and a lot of boys would probably sacrifice a hand to be with her. And Jack is her boyfriend. For about two weeks now.

Jack has no idea how to do this whole relationship thing. He met her when he was about to go buy some bread and pie. He had gone out with his pajama shorts still on and he didn’t even notice. Aurora was behind him in line and when they both were done buying their groceries, she stopped him and whispered in his ear, “You’re still wearing your pajamas!”

The whole which-clothes-when issue was still new to him, that’s why he messed up. And he apologized to her, but she only laughed. And her laughter made him feel better. She made him feel better all around.

Jack didn’t know much of the world. Of course, he already knew a lot. He knew about hunting and friendships, about family and good and evil. He had experienced a lot already.

In theory, he knew about love. He asked Dean about love and sex. The answers haven’t been all too satisfying and there was no intrinsic feeling, no urge for Jack to go out there and find love. Or sex. He’s found Aurora now, that sweet girl, that perfect girl. She liked him a lot, he knew it. Two weeks are enough to fall in love, it seems.

Jack isn’t in love. He knows it. Love feels different. Dean and Castiel both have described for him what love feels like. Their wording has been totally different but it was clear they mean the same thing. And they love each other, despite their differing descriptions.

Why is he with her then?, he asks himself a lot. Because she is nice? She is pretty? She makes him smile? She laughs with him, not at him.

To her, Jack is just a quirky shy boy. He’s not the Spawn of Satan, or a Nephilim, or a Time Bomb. He’s not a tool. Not a weapon. Not an abomination.

He’s just that kid living with these three middle aged weirdos who live in a bunker outside of Lebanon. She never judges.

What is love then?

Jack has an answer to that. He feels butterflies in his stomach, but it took him a while to understand it was a figure of speech. There were no actual butterflies in his stomach. But it was a tingling, a pull, heart pounding in his chest. Sweating. Shaking. Becoming super dumb all of a sudden, because Jack would confuse words, form abstruse sentences and just completely messes it up. He feels all that. He has dreams about this person and his underwear is wet the next morning. He had googled it and it seems to be a normal thing to happen to boys. But he feels embarrassed every time and hates it when someone else does the laundry. He doesn’t want other people to touch his dirty laundry. He also daydreams about kisses, and hugs, and heavy breathing, of noises that sound like Jack’s in pain, but he clearly isn’t.

Sometimes he would stare at the wall for solid minutes before he snaps out of daydreaming or someone catches his attention. Either by door slamming, “Kid, you there?” or - what Dean likes to do - throwing chocolate bars at him. Jack has angel reflexes, nothing ever hits him. Dean knows it.

Jack also has been exposed to “adult magazines” already. Dean seems to hide his magazines all over the bunker and it was just a matter of time til Jack found one and took a close, very close look. He was confused about the nudity first, he was told nudity is for showers, bedrooms and birth apparently. He’s been born naked and Sam told him, babies were born naked. And people got naked when they ‘made love’ but that was something Sam didn’t talk about. Jack had asked, but Sam denied telling him how one ‘makes’ love.

The nudity wasn’t the only thing Jack was astounded about. What these people did looked very, very peculiar. And Jack put the magazine back, when his body from belly button down felt tingly, hot and somehow itchy. Even his ‘down there’ started growing. It got hard. It confused him for a while but when his crotch grew soft, he felt relieved and never looked at something like this again.

Later he found out there was a way to make it go soft ‘down there’ again. He just needs to touch himself and what happens then is bombastic. And messy.

This feeling, love. Was he ‘making’ it? But according to Sam two people were needed to make love together. Feeling it all by his own couldn’t be the same then. Jack was confused.

To add to his confusion, when he was at a case with Dean, Dean had talked about courting and ‘the sex’ and Dean has made fun of him when he came home two weeks ago and announced he had a girlfried.

“Which base? First? Second?”

Sam gave Dean a scowl and a slight punch against the chest.

“Don’t listen to him, Jack. We’re happy for you.”

When he was in his room at night, he barely slept. As a half angel he didn’t need as much sleep as a human. And he knew that Castiel never sleeps. Sometimes they met in the library to talk and play chess or Go. On some other nights when Castiel wasn’t in the bunker or with Dean, Jack would just read whatever came in handy. They had a large library, but Jack was a fast reader and soon he had to download books to his eReader that Sam gave him for his first birthday. But also, this tiny piece of electronics didn’t have enough capacity to download all the books Jack would read in a week, that’s why he asked Sam for a new microSD card for his smartphone. Sam didn’t say no to Jack very often. Jack read Victor Hugo and Jean-Paul Sartre, also Marcel Proust and he had a great time reading Finnegans Wake and Ulysses. He wished James Joyce was still alive, because Jack wanted to tell him what a great and funny piece of literature he had written.

He asked Sam to summon James Joyce.

Sam thought he was messing with him, then said ‘no’.

Jack doesn’t like it when people tell him ‘no’ and that makes it even harder now for him to say no to Aurora.

It’s their second week and she’s so in love with him. Well, that's what she tells Jack. And he likes her pink lips, they look like flower petals and he wonders how they feel.

Exactly what Aurora wants him to do, outside the waffle’s place. She wants to kiss him and she looks pretty, her closed eyes, a tiny raindrop caught in her long eyelashes and she smells of vanilla and there’s still powdered sugar on her chin.

Jack backs away. Her pouty lips look nice and he wants to feel them. With his finger.

When she realizes Jack isn’t leaning in to kiss her, she opens her eyes. She looks hurt.

“Did I do something wrong?”, she asks.

Jack feels incredibly bad about the situation and he doesn’t even know what to say. He can't explain why shies away from a kiss.

He hasn’t been kissed ever before. And he thinks of someone else when he closes his eyes at night, hand under the cover, rubbing himself through the fabric of his pajamas.

“I’m sorry, I…I have never kissed someone before, I’m…I’m nervous.”

That isn't a lie, he tells himself. It’s not a lie. Lying is bad.

“Oh”, she mouths. A perfect O shape with her lips.

“Are you mad at me, Aurora?”, he asks, feeling very bad and guilty.

Jack hates disappointing people and he avoids it at every cost. Usually. But he can’t kiss her, it wouldn’t feel good. He knows, deep down it won’t feel good at all. It won’t be catastrophic, but kissing someone he doesn't like that way is wrong. Sam told him he shouldn’t be physical with people he doesn’t know well. Sam told him he should be physical with someone he really really likes and that more than just as a friend.

Aurora feels like someone more than a friend, but there’s no nocturnal pining for her. That’s for someone else. That’s why he has to go home now, before he makes it even worse with Aurora.

“No, Jack, it’s okay, I didn’t know…I thought…I mean you said you’re 21, I kinda just thought you already have…you know, kissed someone. Or even more.”

Jack raises an eyebrow.

“Even more?”

Aurora hides in her pastel pink scarf.

“Yes, sex, you know?”

With a sigh, Jack looks away and he can feel his face start burning. He has no idea how to have sex, he doesn’t even know exactly what it should be. It was a part of relationships, like Dean and Castiel’s but…all Jack can think about in regards of ‘making love’ and kissing and sex was…Sam.

“I’m not experienced”, he replies, slightly trembling. “I never did it.”

-

Later in the bunker, Jack is sleepless. He would like to sleep this time, because he feels exhausted and hurt. There’s something Aurora said. She said, if he kept people at distance he would never experience love and sex. Even a kiss was a problem already. This view on things was very weird to him. He doesn’t have a problem with kissing or finding out what love is. He just doesn’t want to kiss her. It feels wrong.

She didn’t text him since they departed on unknown terms.

And another thing creeps in his mind. Maybe the problem is that he doesn’t just not like Aurora, maybe he doesn’t like girls at all? And Sam is a man. Maybe he likes men, like Dean does? Dean often talked about women, he seems to like both. Men and women. And Castiel doesn’t even raise a brow when Dean talks about ‘casual sexual encounters’ how Castiel calls them. It’s still unknown territory for Jack.

There are people who like girls, there are people who like men and people who like both…and what if their body doesn’t matter at all?

Jack doesn’t know where the difference should be, except that a man looks different from a woman.

The whole sex thing is driving him up the walls.

He gets up, puts his slippers on and goes to the library. Dean is there, a bottle of whisky in front of him. He doesn’t look deadly drunk, but drunk enough. Sometimes Jack is afraid of Dean when he had too much of this stuff. He can be very mean, aggressive and violent.

Jack braces himself and joins him at the table. Dean looks up. His green eyes are glassy and his face is red.

“Can’t sleep, kiddo?”, he asks, wrapping his gown tighter.

Jack nods.

“No. I was naughty. And now I’m upset.”

Dean’s head jerks up, now Jack has his full attention. The smirk gives it away, Dean will make fun of him for sure.

“Naughty? As in, you finally did sweet lovin’ to her or?”

Jack shakes his eyes, frowning.

“Now, she wanted to kiss me but I didn’t want to.”

He sighs, sinks back in the chair, looking at the ceiling. There’s silence, Dean just chugs down the rest of the whisky, but he has another already on hand and opens it.

“Need a sip?”

His first instinct is to say ‘no’, but then he agrees and takes a drink directly from the bottle. Whiskey tastes like paste. He hates alcohol and it doesn’t make him drunk. He could drink ten of these bottles and still wouldn't feel a little thing. He knew that Cas also could drink immense amounts and he never feels even dizzy.

“How do I know if I’m gay?”, he asks and avoids eye contact.

Dean bursts out in laughter. It takes a while for him to calm down again. Jack feels very embarrassed.

“I shouldn’t have asked”, he murmurs and attempts to get up again but Dean stops him.

“Ey sorry. I’ll give you some advice okay? You will know when a man or a woman drives you crazy. Just, I don’t know. Try it. Get Grindr or whatever, chat with some guys, meet up. And try it.”

Dean’s eyes are really teary now. That was maybe a little too much.

“Are you okay, Dean?”

“Ya, ‘m fine. No worries.”

Dean is not okay, but Jack has learned his lesson. Dean will always say it’s okay, there’s no problem, I’m fine.

Sam is a lot different from him. He’s strong and calm, his hands are so big and his broad shoulders would be perfect to lean on.

Dean is different. Never at peace, restless. Always on the run from whatever is going on in his head.

“Is Sam…is Sam gay?”

Jack is shocked by his own words. Dean freezes. And then slowly, very slowly turns to Jack. There’s nothing friendly in his face, it’s a grimace.

“No, he’s not, Jack. Never was. Never will be.”

His heart feels like it’s sinking down to Jack’s groin. It hurts. He gets up.

“I should go to bed. Good night.”

“Sleep tight.”

Tonight Jack cries, hugging his moose plush toy.

*

“Grindr or whatever.”

“Chat with some guys, meet up. And try it.”

Dean’s statements from that night stick with the poor innocent boy. He rolls these thoughts in his head and they roll from one corner to the other, like marbles. He also dips his tongue in them, tastes them. Makes them slide from his teeth down to his throat. But he never swallows them.

Sam is not gay.

“Never was. Never will be.”

Sam doesn't like men. He doesn’t like boys. And Jack is a boy. Does that mean he has to give up on what he feels? But, what if Jack isn't gay himself? He has no experience. Not with girls, not with boys. He only knows it feels wrong to kiss Aurora. She is one girl of billions. And Sam is just one man of billions.

Maybe, even when Sam is not interested in men, Jack is an exception. He is half angel!

Grindr. Or whatever.

What is Grindr?

Jack didn’t eat this morning, because he  heard Sam and Castiel fighting over something Jack didn’t want to be part of. It was enough to see Dean drink so much, but he wouldn’t participate in any of the tensions that his behaviour caused lately. Dean had told him, he would kill him. Well, maybe he won’t do that anymore now since Jack helped to save the world more than once. He said Jack isn’t family. Maybe he still thinks so. It hurts Jack, because he loves his three father figures and he looks up to Dean. He’s a strong hunter, a leader. He’s the muscle of this team. Sam is the brain. Castiel somehow is the heart. But what is Jack? Always willing to sacrifice himself to make Sam and Cas and Dean love him.

These thoughts are dark enough and going out there and witnessing another fight wasn’t Jack’s favourite start of the day.

He rather hid in his room after showering.

Dean has offered him some breadcrumbs like the ones Hansel and Gretel left to find their way back home from the forest. But he needs to go the other way. He doesn’t need to find his way out of the forest and away from the witch’s gingerbread house. Jack wants to find exactly that.

Wrapped in his towel he sits down on his bed, takes his smartphone and opens a search engine tab. Aurora has texted him but he doesn’t want to reply right now. He feels bad about how he let her down and didn’t kiss her.

He isn’t sure what he is supposed to search for, he just types grinder. Several online shops appear. Obviously it’s a name for a tool to crush herbs and marijuana. Did Dean mean that? He should grind some herbs and perform a ritual? Nah. Dean was drunk, he surely didn’t think that far.

Next step is to look it up in an online dictionary.

It says a lot of things about molars (pressing together with a rotating motion), grinding as a verb to pulverize material, and then something caught Jack’s eye.

to rotate the hips in an erotic manner

Now, that makes sense in a way, that makes Jack blush deeply. It’s a motion he sometimes imagines when he’s hot and aroused. When his body works up, his cheeks hot and his spine tingly. He imagines sitting on Sam’s lap, both kissing and sighing, and then Jack would...grind.

Jack has to put the phone away for a second. Thinking of this clouds his judgement.

After a minute of breathing in and out and trying to tone these thrilling images down Jack is ready to now search for: “Grinder gay men”

The search engine reports “No results for Grinder gay men found. Do you want to search for Grindr gay men instead?”

Jack is irritated about the missing “e”, that’s a typo, right? but he presses the tab ‘yes’.

What pops up now is an article from an online encyclopedia and describes Grindr as a mobile app for gay, bisexual and trans men to chat and meet other men of the same interests.

The second article is a link to his smartphone’s app store, which Jack opens.

Dean wanted him to find this app. To meet other men. Try it. Now it all makes sense! Jack is happy about this. Dean wouldn’t be so mean to him after all!

He downloads the app Grindr - Chats, Meeting and Dating for Gays . The app’s icon is black with an orange mask in the middle. Looks plain but also makes Jack curious.

To use the app Jack has to sign up. Since Castiel once has given him permission to sign up in a social network he just thinks it applies to this stuff too.

There’s a lot of text about privacy, which he just accepts to go further. He signs up with his e-mail address and password. He struggles with his birthday. He tells people he’s 21 years old, which makes his birthday for official purposes May 18th somewhere in the nineties. He has to do some funny verification procedures, the last one is verifying his phone number.

The app wants him to upload a picture of him, and because he doesn’t have any he just takes one. He doesn’t mind that he's naked except the tiny towel around his waist. The first step is easy. He’s Jack, 21 and looking for Chat, Dates, Meeting up and Friends. He wonders why there’s two options for meeting people. One sounds like it’s for impatient people and the other one is for people who are patient. Like Sam. Sam would be patient.

He’s now transferred to the next page. And he now sees a lot of other people using the app it seems. A lot of very muscly men are there. They all like to show their body, but Jack doesn’t really like this. Their nudity even makes him feel icky.

Some men have nicknames like “BigTrunkBear” or “LikeItRough” or “Creamlover”. Jack’s confusion is growing.

There’s also a lot of men having no photo at all, but how should Jack know how they look? Also the photos of legs irritate him.

The app notifies him he needs to complete his profile. There’s some multiple choice questions but also dropdown menus and input masks.

It’s easy for him to type a few sentences about himself.

Jack is as blunt as it could be.

“Hello, I’m Jack. I like nougat, my fathers and shadow show.”

Age and height are no problem, but he has to google what ethnicity is. His skin is pale, then he must be white.

Every question after that is confusing to him. He doesn’t know what “position” (Top, Bottom, Vers) he is, is he a “Bear” or a “Twink”? What is all that?

The confusion grows and Jack closes the app for a moment. He thinks about googling all of it. But then his phone chimes and there’s a text message in the app from a man with the nickname “OralPlesaurer”. Which is funny to Jack, because it’s a typo. And no one’s name in real life is OralPleasurer or Creamlover.

Cream is cool, yeah, whipped on pie. But Jack’s not a lover in the sense of the word. Weird people there.

Jack opens the message, it’s a simple “Hi”.

Jack sends a "Hi" back.

What happens then can only be described as…unexpected.

-

Shinin’ Like A Fiery Beacon

Sam has no suspicions what’s happening in Jack’s mind, but he notices he’s shy around him. Maybe even a little uneasy. The last months have been rough and Sam knows Jack has gone through a lot. Mostly he tried to gain Dean’s trust again, make him and Dean forgive him. But Sam was never mad at him. He couldn’t.

There is a lot in Jack that reminds Sam of himself and that makes it hard for him to look at the situation objectively.

Jack was destined to be a weapon for his father, Lucifer. And Lucifer was a special kind of topic for Sam and it has granted him a very twisted satisfaction that Jack helped to kill him off permanently. Three times. Jack’s struggle with his heritage was something Sam totally understands and yes, of course he also understands why Dean is angry and hurt.

But why does he treat Jack like that still?

Why is he so determined to stick to his anger and his grief? It doesn't even seem like he is trying to get over it, to forgive Jack.

There’s something else on Dean’s noggin’ and Sam knows it, even when Dean doesn’t talk about it. The empty whisky bottles, all the sex with nameless strangers and his risky behavior aren’t new to Sam or Cas.

But that Cas puts up with Dean’s bullshit is astounding. He wouldn’t let that happen. And Sam fights a lot. With Cas. About Dean. With Dean. About Dean. And Cas. And how he treats Jack.

Lately Sam noticed a feeling deep inside of him, flourished for Jack. A gentle, fragile feeling and he didn’t dare to touch this topic. Not even when he was in his room alone at night, rolling around in his bed. It’s a special kind of affection mixed with a frustrating amount of attraction. Sam hates himself for feeling like this. It’s just not right. Jack is nothing like his father, yes, but that's also not the problem. He’s barely 4 years old by now, he came into the world in the body of a young man but little knowledge and childlike naivety. How could Sam take advantage of that? Jack clearly wants to gain his friendship and maybe a platonic kind of love. It’s wrong of Sam to wish for more than that. And that’s why he keeps it hidden and rather tumbles into new fights about Dean’s alcoholism.

It’s his turn to do the cooking today while Cas and Dean are on an investigation and he’s alone with Jack. Sam notices once more that Jack hides in his room a lot, he won’t come out unless Sam calls him to lunch or dinner. Mostly he skips breakfast. So far there’s nothing weird about it, maybe Jack needs some privacy. Sam thinks of his youth with Dean and Dad on the road and how he hated to never be alone.

Taking ‘long showers’ was always suspicious and a lot of things he and Dean did were blurry to him now in his late thirties. When Sam fled to Stanford and finally had a room for himself, actual locks and actual keys for them, doors he could close...it was better than heaven. That’s when he finally could explore what it meant to be a teenager and deal with the rampaging hormones on his own. Also, he could finally be away from Dean’s hypersexual behavior. Maybe Dean thought it was cool to be like this in front of Sam, especially when they as brothers became a little too close and it was his way to dodge the bullet.

In the light of his own memories Sam knows what is happening.

And he’s sure Jack’s kind of blossoming at the moment.

With his super cute and lovely girlfriend, Aurora.

Sam hasn’t met her yet and he has no idea how to react. Of course, he’d be nice and polite and make her dinner and ask her all the nice and polite things for small talk and tell Jack how lucky he is but there’s something primal inside of Sam. Jealousy. He hates being jealous and he has no right to feel that way. One more reason to just let this blooming feeling die and not feed it with anything.

Not with his weird daydreams or the thoughts at night that keep him bothered and not the moments he’s alone in the shower, rubbing one out. Afterwards he’s just more frustrated, instead of feeling any relief.

Sam needs another cup of coffee, a strong one. Before Cas and Dean went out, there had been another argument. It was hurtful. Things were said and then taken back, Cas’ puppy eyes all over, Sam's yelling and Dean almost breaking shit. Like always. Maybe after this one they’d calm down, all of them. Dean and Cas were alone for a while, maybe doing some reconciliation. Sam would be happy for them if they could get over whatever was going on.

In the meantime Sam is just happy with cooking, doing laundry, generally cleaning the bunker and reading. It may sound boring for some people but for him it’s heaven. They’ve had too much going on for fifteen years, some peace is pretty nice and just what he needs right now.

Jack’s an active reader too and he reads the good stuff. Sam educates him about most things he’s comfortable with and he knows he should’ve given the kid ‘The Talk’ already, but Dean kinda started it and Sam is a bit of a chicken regarding this topic. Sex isn’t his favorite thing to talk about. And so far, there seems no reason to rush it, even though Aurora is there. Dean told him about a week ago that Jack has refused to kiss her and if there wasn't anything else going on Sam was unaware of, that was the sexiest thing Jack had achieved so far. A kiss from a girl.

Sam burns his tongue on his coffee because he chugged it too quickly. With a curse he bangs the mug on the table and that’s when Jack walks in. Lately he abandoned his adorable pajamas and wears some of Dean’s and Sam’s old shirts and flannels he grabbed out of the sacks for the clothing drive. That looks wrong in all the right ways, but Sam can’t really say anything about it without letting his guard down. And he won’t let his guard down. Never.

“Morning, Jack”, Sam utters, trying to cool his tongue with a sip of water. “I didn’t expect you to be up that early. Want some porridge?”

Jack looks up at him and there’s still a sleepy veil surrounding him. He seems to be just woken up. He is wearing one of Sam's old shirts, which is too big for him and the sight makes Sam gulp. A little.

“Yes, sounds good.” Jack sits down and yawns in his hand while Sam gets him some porridge and a cup of coffee with a lot of milk in it.

Now Sam notices that Jack carries his smartphone with him, which is unusual. Jack mostly uses it for chatting with Aurora or doing some research but he never carries it around like some other teenagers do who are maybe a little too attached to it. It vibrates a couple of times before Jack takes it and mutes all notifications. He looks…guilty?

“What is it? Is Aurora chatty today?”

Jack looks up and puts a spoonful of porridge in his mouth, shaking his head.

“No, it’s um…it’s nothing.”

Sam is suspicious. Does Jack talk to someone else? Would he need to give him a talk about keeping options open? He doesn’t want to approach the issue by himself, so he rather sits down and eats his breakfast too. Jack seems a bit nervous, always throwing stolen glances at his phone and the screen lights up every couple of minutes. Jack doesn’t reply to any of these messages, he just turns the phone screen down on the table and keeps eating.

The day goes by, Sam just gets cosy in the library. Dean messaged him it’s a vampire nest and he and Cas will hunt them down tonight. Which is a good sign. Sam also told him to take some time off after it, maybe go to Vegas. Dean hasn’t replied yet. It’s a bit selfish but Sam likes the quiet peace in the bunker. They have thought of moving out a couple times but none of them could really think of somewhere else to live. They were hunters after all and so far they didn’t think about retiring. The bunker was still the core of their family. A home. Dean’s and Sam’s home after years on the road or couchsurfing at Bobby’s, the only home Jack knows. Sam even started to make his room look like an actual bedroom. It had been bare and clinical for years when he still couldn’t wrap his mind around the idea to settle down with Dean. He thought the bunker would maybe one day be taken away from them again.

His phone chimes and Dean promises to be back in a couple of days. Couple of days. That could mean they’re back tomorrow or in a week. But he’s happy that Dean takes the chance anyway.

Sam is totally sucked in by the book he’s reading and he jolts when Jack appears in the library, a hot chocolate in his small hand and a slight disturbed look on his face.

“Sorry, you scared me a little bit”, Sam says and feels bad about it.

Jack only smiles and takes a seat across the table.

“It’s okay. Sam, can I ask you some questions? I wanted to ask Dean, but he’s away and not replying to my texts…”

“Of course. What’s the matter?”

Jack looks up to him, big blue eyes piercings through Sam’s skin. He hates when that happens, Jack has an unsettling effect on Sam. He’s not used to feel like this.

He squirms in his chair now and then with a sigh, Jack takes the phone out of his pocket to place it in front of him. Okay, so there is something up with the phone. Sam was right about it.

“How do I know if I’m gay?”

Jack doesn’t look at Sam, he stares at his phone. Sam can see his ears getting red and Jack just blushes so easily… and also very intense. His face is burning red, Sam would bet his ass on it.

The question itself is nothing Sam would classify as weird. It’s obvious Jack’s going through a phase of finding himself. Contemplating his own sexuality is part of it. Thing is, it makes Sam slightly uncomfortable talking about it. It’s partly because Jack is so young, the other part is that he’s attracted to Jack. Sam didn’t feel attracted to anyone for years and he hates labels. He loves who he loves and he wants to sleep with people he has a strong connection to. And a life as a hunter doesn’t provide much space for a romance to unravel.

How is he supposed to talk about it when he has no idea where to start?

He isn’t a good measure after all.

“Oh, that is as simple as it is complicated”, Sam starts, folding his hands on the table. He takes deep breaths, before he starts to speak.

“First of all, I can only speak for myself and I don’t know if I'm for much use. In regards of sex you really better ask Dean, but since he doesn’t seem to look at his phone at the moment, I will try.”

He has already told Jack about making love instead of sex and Sam has thought about his choice of words and regretted some of it. It sounded way too much like purity culture and Jack shouldn’t think sex was bad. Sexual attraction isn’t bad at all.

It just doesn’t fit for Sam.

“Does your question have anything to do with how you feel about Aurora?”

Jack nods. Slowly, a little unsure.

“She wanted to kiss me but I didn’t want to. It didn’t feel right. And I wondered if it has something to do with- I mean- maybe I like boys and not girls?”

His face is so red by now, Sam could swear he feels the heat radiating from the boy.

“There could be several reasons for it, it doesn’t mean you’re gay. Most people kiss and make love because they’re attracted to each other. Attraction is a very tricky feeling. It feels like butterflies in your stomach, heart pounding, you maybe even feel dizzy. That’s when most people say they’re in love. Do you feel that when you are with Aurora?”

Jack shakes his head.

“No.”

“Then maybe, you’re just not in love with her, and that's okay. You will fall in love with another girl in the future. Or you fall in love with a boy, which is also totally fine. Also you can feel attraction to people who don’t fit in the girl/boy categories. It’s all just about how you feel around them and if you want to kiss them. Or go further.”

Sam rubs his hands. He really feels uncomfortable educating Jack about love and sex. Now would be a great moment for Dean to show up and take this conversation.

“You know, Dean likes both. Cas is an angel, I don’t think a concept of gender applies to him at all.”

This is when Jack looks up.

“And what do you like?”

Sam now leans back in his chair, his heart aches a little and he feels heat creeping up his neck. He hates that question.

“Well, Jack…” he sighs heavily, “I don’t care much about gender too. I’m not gay, but I’m not straight either. And I’m also not bisexual, like Dean. It’s hard to say. When I like someone, I like them and I don’t see gender. Boy, girl, queer, it doesn’t matter.”

Now Jack takes a long, careful sip of his hot chocolate. His smartphone chimes again and Sam just has to ask.

“Do you think you’re gay, because you didn’t want to kiss Aurora or is there something else on your mind?”

He knows it’s not his business but he also takes it very seriously to be a good role model, be a father figure to Jack. When Jack needs help, Sam will provide it. Same goes for Cas and sometimes even Dean has his bright moments of fatherhood.

It’s obvious Jack doesn’t want to answer right away, he looks like he is tasting words in his mouth, rolling them over his tongue, putting them in his cheeks for a moment, before he says something that surprises Sam.

“There is something else. A man asked me out, but he asked me things I don’t understand.”

Sam stiffens.

“A man? How old?”

Jack shrugs.

“Couple years older than Dean maybe?”

Now Sam leans forward, skeptical and on alert.

“What do you mean, he asked you out? Where? How?”

Jack now shows Sam his phone and Sam recognizes the push messages. The icon is black with an orange mask in the center.

Oh no, that’s not good. Like absolutely bad.

“On this app. He lives close and he asked me if I like bareback? But I don’t know what he means with that. Does he want to go horse riding with me on a date?”

Sam can’t help but laugh. It’s a diminished, unhappy sound.

“No, he doesn’t want to go horse riding with you, Jack. He wants to have unprotected sex with you.”

You Got That Medicine I Need

“What do you mean by… that he wants to have unprotected sex with me?”,  Jack asks.

He was utterly confused about this statement and how Sam came to that conclusion. There’s so much he doesn’t know and so many things he got wrong. Sam also doesn’t help much with his shooting questions and… things like this. Jack furrows his eyebrows, tilting his head.

“You have to delete this app and stop talking to these creeps.”

Sam looks very upset and Jack doesn’t get why.

“Answer my question please, what is bareback then? Sam, why do you think he’s a creep? He seems actually nice, he says he likes my eyes and my lips, look!”

He shows his phone again to Sam and he just takes it. Then Sam gets up and starts fumbling on the screen, his eyes narrow. Jack knows this kind of facial expression, he usually sees it when Sam is upset with Dean. Should Jack maybe tell Sam it wasn’t his own idea to install the app? Would that help? Would he then be mad at Dean? But Jack doesn’t want that either, he wants Dean to like him.

“Jack, it’s gay slang. And this guy”, his voice rises in irritation and suppressed anger, “he looks fishy. Why the hell do you use these apps anyway? You’re with Aurora and… you have no idea about sex yet, casual dating shouldn’t be something you … you like. What is this all about? Jack?”

Jack feels like he’s shrinking to a tiny puddle of shame under Sam’s piercing eyes, his sharp voice and how his chest heaves. He’s also annoyed at the same time. It’s his fathers’ fault he knows so little about sex and how to court people, no one really feels responsible to help him with it, except Dean! Jack looks up to Sam, even when it hurts right now, he hates it so much when Sam is angry. And he feels like he was a dog that took a shit on the carpet and now has to feel utterly guilty for… having essential needs?

That it’s Sam who tells him to stop makes it even worse. He’s trying to figure out what he feels for Sam, it’s hard enough to see him all day and feel this tickly, hot and cold feeling all over his body and only be able to release it in the silent darkness of his room, quietly moaning and thinking of Sam kissing his tummy and thighs… and even more. Jack feels all the heat building up inside him, it makes his skin crawl and his eyes tear up.

“I want to know if I’m gay or not!”, he says, way louder than intended. “And Dean said it’s a good idea to meet up with men and find out what I like!”

Sam stiffens, chest heaving even harder when he drops his hands and bangs them on the table.

“Dean told you to install this app?”, he asks. Voice dangerously gentle.

“Yes.”

Jack crosses his arms, defensively.

And then Sam nudges the smartphone back to Jack. He looks so angry while appearing so calm, apart from his deep breathing. Jack can see the breath vibrate in Sam’s chest and he wishes so badly to lay his head there and hear Sam’s heartbeat, feel his pulse and how his chest moves while breathing.

Sam’s mouth is a firm little line before he speaks.

“I guess Dean didn’t think his advice through, Jack. This app and many others are made for casual sex and hook ups, and I wouldn’t let you meet any of these guys you’re talking too. You could get hurt”, he then combs through his long hair, fishing for words, “You know that there’s people out there who want harm. It’s too dangerous. Delete it.”

Jack doesn’t attempt to take the phone again, looking at Sam, angry himself.

“No. I need to find out who I am and you keep on handling me with kid gloves!”, he says, voice raised and aggressive.

This is when Sam slams the table with his fist. “It’s because you are a fucking kid and I don’t want you to be whoring around!”

Wow.

That feels like a punch in the guts. Jack knows what a whore is. He has googled it after Dean has told ‘whore stories’ at the dinner table when Sam was out with Cas once.

His eyes tear up heavily and there’s a choked sob before Jack grabs his phone and gets up.

“I’m not a whore, Sam. But good to know you think of me like this.”

Sam's frozen solid for a couple seconds, can’t act on anything but wants to. Jack fumbles on his phone with shaking hands and then shows Sam.

“See, app deleted. No ‘whoring around’ for me.”

And then Jack storms off. Sam calls out after him “Jack, I’m sorry, please come back!” But Jack doesn’t come back. He grabs his jacket and goes outside. He needs some time alone.

*

In the evening, alone in his room, Sam is extremely downhearted. He tried to talk to Jack later, when he came back into the bunker. He even came up to Sam himself to show him the app was still gone, but didn’t talk anymore. Of course Sam apologized every time they saw each other, but Jack didn’t react.

Damn, he has fucked up so hard this time. And he can’t even lie to himself saying it was just a stupid thing he said. That he didn’t think. Well, he really didn’t think at that moment. There was just … that moment, that hot red moment of possessiveness, of jealousy. And this fata morgana of pure, asexual Jack that Sam could protect and nuture, versus this dark fucked up desire to kiss him, ruin the literal angel. Be the one to show him love.

To show him how Sam could make him feel, make him come in thousands of ways. Sam’s so touch starved and drawn to Jack and he is so endlessly ashamed of it. It’s not right, he keeps telling himself. It’s wrong to feel attracted to a child. To the child of his rapist. Even Sam cries in bed sometimes, like today. He cries about his stupid words, about how he hurt Jack and how filthy he feels all the time in contrast to the pure and utter arousal picturing the nephil in his bed, sweat covered and hot and willing and moaning Sam’s name when he spills all over his firm stomach.

Fuck. Holy fuck . This is so bad.

*

Jack retreated in the forest for a while, listening to angry music on his phone, kicking sticks and stones around till he reached the pond where he just sat down, stared at the glistening surface for an hour or two. He cried a little, too. Sam’s words have hurt him incredibly. Sam is Jack’s role model and the person he wishes to be closest with. And that Sam, especially Sam implies Jack ‘whored’ was so excruciating, that his half human body even threw up the rest of dinner. With his knees pulled to his chest and his face buried in his eyes he cried and cried, before the childlike side in him started rebelling again. Sam has hurt him, but Jack still wants to know what’s wrong with him. Why he feels for Sam, and if it’s because he’s male… or because he’s Sam.

The feeling hurt even more now, it even hurts now when he’s in bed, staring at the ceiling, still listening to angry yelly music. His body is terribly worked up again, but now Jack reinstalls the app, his profile is still there. He doesn’t know what to do with the old guy who wanted to ‘bareback’ him but he had googled it while staring at the pond and Sam was indeed right. But this old sack wasn’t the only guy Jack was in touch with, there was also Hunter, 25, from Gilead, Kansas. Jack likes the name hunter, because him and his fathers are hunters and hunters are mostly good people. He also likes the name of the city where he’s from, Gilead. It refers to a mystical place in the Bible , which he read a couple times already, but also was the name of the USA in the novel The Handmaid’s Tale by Atwood, which he loved too. And Hunter is nice, very nice and when Sam demanded Jack to delete Grindr, Jack was afraid Hunter would be mad if he didn’t reply to his last message.

But of course Jack wants to reply to Hunter, and there’s two new messages from Hunter which he answers quickly. He gives Hunter his phone number and then decides to delete the app really, just in case Sam wants proof again. Which Jack would maybe deny next time, he is so sick of being treated like a child. Because he’s not. His body is fully developed, and he knows a lot about the world. He knows facts, but it’s hard to find out about all the social stuff. Jack feels alien most of the time, because he has intimidating powers and his angel self works different from his human self. He just has too little experience in human and social interaction and Sam even tries to take away the chances Jack could have to be better at being a human being, which is the side he picked long ago. He wants to be human. Normal. And he wants to be accepted, respected and loved. Not patronised and cared for like a baby. Of course, he knows. He’s defiant and petty but he’s tough and brave enough to learn more about the world and love.

Aurora isn’t forgotten, he feels bad when he thinks of her, but she also didn’t reply to his last message. Which makes it easier to attach to Hunter, who says in his profile he’s a “vers bottom” (and since no one seems to care about giving Jack a proper talk he googled it and now is indeed in the picture what that means), wants to find true love and relationships. His favourite movies are Star Wars and Lord of the Rings and he likes novels like Lord of the Flies and Fahrenheit 451. He sounds so intelligent and nice, Jack trusts him already after a few days of texting. He seemed able of critical thought and he liked books Jack also liked and they spent a day just talking about religious imagery in The Great Gatsby . But yeah, Jack was totally whoring around. Surely.

Tonight he’s too hurt to let his usual thoughts of Sam go too far, instead he opens his messenger app and he doesn’t have to wait very long after messaging Hunter to get a reply.

Jack smiles when Hunter asks if he is in bed already and what he’s thinking of. Jack texts back he thinks of a certain dark haired, brown eyed man he likes. Hunter looks a bit like Sam and Jack can lie to himself casually here. The texts turn hotter with every turn and Jack’s heart starts pacing, his hand sliding under the seam of his underwear while he reads Hunter’s latest message, describing how he would undress Jack, kiss him and let his hand wander where Jack wasn’t touched by anyone else than himself so far.

In the morning he feels way better. Hunter’s messages have given him some very nice moments of pleasure but he also feels a little guilty. He hasn’t replied to the hot messages because he’s a total newbie and doesn’t even know what he likes himself. When he told Hunter in the night he’s a virgin, Hunter was very nice and understanding and told Jack he doesn’t have to reply if he feels insecure.

This sort of validation is something Jack wants to have from Sam but after what Sam said and how deeply it impacted Jack’s trust in him, he tried to let go of this hope. Sam thinks he’s a child. Or a whore. Or both. Jack knows about Nabokov’s Lolita and wonders if Sam thinks he raised him to be seductive to old creeps like the bareback guy.

One way or the other, Jack is hurt and pissed off, but overall he feels better and steadier today, his ego is petted very thoroughly by Hunter. Maybe one day Jack won’t need Sam’s approval and affection anymore. Seems a nice thought today.

When Jack gets dressed he sneaks up to the kitchen and he can hear from across the floor already Sam is talking to someone. He’s loud, his voice full and usually Jack likes how deep, low and growly Sam can sound when he’s in some kind of situation he’s passionate about, no matter if positive or negative.

But this sounds like he’s yelling at Dean and that’s never good.

“Why the actual fuck did you tell Jack to install a gay hook up app, are you out of your rotten mind? He took your word for it and now I am the one who had to clean up this mess!... Yes, he used it and a guy he talked to wanted to meet up and bareback…. Jesus FUCKING Christ Dean that’s not funny-- stop fucking laughing! He could be hurt! You’re such an asshole. I wonder why you fucking hate the kid so much, after all he did for us!... No, I didn’t forget about mom, never will. But you know it wasn’t him. I don’t give a fuck about your feelings right now... Leave the child alone or I swear you’ll regret it!”

A long silence. Jack counts from 50 downwards and stops at 7, when Sam’s voice rises again.

“Yeah you better. Gimme Cas, I need a word with him.”

Jack has heard enough. “The kid”. “Clean up a mess”. “The child”.

Mary Winchester.

He’s suddenly not hungry anymore and retreats to his room, where his smartphone vibrates the moment he closes the door. It’s Hunter, of course.

Looking To Get Fucked Hard

It takes Jack a day and a half after the phone call to make the first move towards Sam and accepts his apology, which is very well-considered, diplomatic and remorseful. He still feels very hurt by Sam’s words and the fight over the phone with Dean also didn’t help him look over the fact that Sam has a certain edge in his voice when it comes down to explaining ‘adult stuff’ to Jack. Jack, who is naturally curious and eager, but also blunt and innocent, doesn’t quite understand what his problem is. When Jack hears Dean talk about sex with several people, sometimes at once, it doesn’t sound like something he feels ashamed of. He’s even proud of it.

But Sam is so much more secretive and retreats from any question Jack has from now on. Is sex something bad? And why does he think Jack is acting like a promiscuous person for talking with people online?

It takes another five days in which Jack secretly talks to Hunter over his messenger app and Jack avoids looking at his phone when Sam is around. He doesn’t want to get in another argument again but he also likes the way Hunter makes him feel. Even though Jack is a virgin and inexperienced, Hunter takes him seriously. He treats Jack like an actual adult, with adult needs and adult opinions and an adult body, that is longing for another human’s touch. Jack kind of came to the conclusion that being in love with Sam won’t go anywhere good, not after all the things Sam has said to him. And how he thinks of Jack. As a child, something he has to protect and nourish but for God’s sake don’t touch it.

Jack doesn’t want protection. He wants to be loved as a man, even though he’s barely a man now.

Sam’s apology doesn’t change his way of thinking about Jack.

Damn, why does he have to be in love with Sam, from all people? Maybe it would be even easier with being in love with Dean. Scruffy, grumpy, spiteful, asshole, loyal, troubled, vulnerable Dean?

Is that maybe any better?

But even Dean doesn’t take him seriously as someone who has needs. He gave Jack this damn idea about the app and he probably knew it would cause Jack trouble when Sam found out.

Over the next days Cas and Dean don’t show up and Sam is worried even when he tries to hide it behind research and angry texts and treating Jack even more than a kid. Makes him his favourite food and drinks, even lets him drink some beer.

It makes Jack feel even more like someone you need to treat like a timid fawn.

Does nobody see that Jack is no fawn anymore? That he’s ready to grow, that he has intimate, sexual urges. He is prospering for everyone to see, but Sam just squeezes his damn eyes shut and Dean makes fun of him.

And Castiel probably doesn’t even know what it all means because he’s a full grown celestial angel, or an ‘eldritch horror’ as Dean sometimes puts it.

Time to sow his wild oats.

After a week of absence it seems clear, Cas and Dean are either having a good time or they’re getting lost somewhere in a brothel or a casino or whatever humans do in Las Vegas. Sam doesn’t tell Jack where exactly they are, but Jack thinks they got somewhere to also let off some steam.

Jack decides to meet with Hunter, after they had some very thrilling conversations at night. It’s mostly that Jack still imagines Sam when he touches himself but Hunter is giving him a lot of things to think about. He doesn’t feel that naive and innocent anymore, now that someone tells him he’s hot, he’s cute, he’s desirable. He is equal.

No more thinking of ‘down there’s and that kissing is oh so sacred. It’s a change that would scare Jack if he wasn’t so eager to show off to Sam he was mature enough to be treated equally. Hunter presses the right buttons. And all of them at once.

Jack wants to know how it feels to kiss, to be touched in places, he even wants to touch someone else. And if he keeps telling himself it’s Sam, while he’s with Hunter, he might even enjoy it more. They look so much alike, or at least how Jack thinks Sam looked when he was way younger. Maybe Hunter’s smaller, and what Jack saw from his body wasn’t that defined and muscular, but he can dream. His imagination is going strong.

His hormones and his contact with another man who shows interest in him make Jack cocky.

They set the date already two days after the fight with Sam and today is the day. Sam and Jack still don’t spend much time together and in the morning Sam announced he will be doing some inventory in a room he was able to unlock with a smell Rowena left him. He told Jack about shelves full with old scripts and mason jars labelled with ‘icky stuff’ and he thinks that in no way the Man of Letters Cuthbert Sinclair would’ve left such a mess and vague labels. Icky could mean a lot.

Jack doesn’t mind and tells Sam he wants to read The Magic Mountain by Thomas Mann.

“That’s a piece of work, Jack”, Sam says, a little proud maybe. “I never made it through it.”

“Well I read some articles about it already and I’m very interested about the portrayal of eroticism, life and death.”

He can’t leave it. He has to tell Sam about the sex stuff he’s interested in. The protagonist of the novel is said to be bisexual and Jack would really like to read it.

But not today, he will drive to Gilead to meet Hunter, as soon as Sam will drown in his inventory.

“You also should focus on the motif of time and its correlation with life and death”, Sam says, ignoring the eroticism. He’s unapproachable with the issue at all. It drives Jack up the walls, since his hormones, hurt ego and the cockiness took over his thinking.

“Thrilling.”

Jack means it sarcastically and catches a glance from Sam that he can’t quite ignore. The tension between them grows weirder every day instead of resolving.

He gets up now, he needs to shower and get ready soon.

Jack doesn’t know why, but there pops up a thought in his head. About making love.

He wouldn’t do that today. In his nightly thoughts he still couldn’t wrap his head around the difference.

Of course he’d never admit it, but Jack still knows nothing about love but that he feels something for Sam that comes pretty close.

Sam knows something’s off. That something is still off. Jack is reserved, but sometimes also irritating. Passive aggressive. Mopey. Yes, of course, Sam has apologized as often and honestly as he could but nothing seemed to help Jack and him to find a common ground again. He understands Jack wants to be treated differently, like something he isn’t just yet in Sam’s eyes. It’s his need for being the guardian that doesn’t let him treat Jack like an adult. Let him drink whiskey, watch porn, have sex. The contradiction of his own sexual attraction to Jack and the need for control and guidance drives Sam up the walls too and he has no one he could talk to about it. Dean is distant in his own manner, he’s fled with Cas and after Sam had yelled at him over the phone about letting Jack use this sex app there’s radio silence. Just a quick heads up from Cas now and then. Sam feels like the trip for just the two of them isn’t helping the way he wished for.

This is why he needs to do the damn inventory. Keep himself busy. Think about something else than Jack being a little jerk all of a sudden, Dean’s whiskey consumption and Castiel’s helplessness. Is Castiel even helpless? Or does he just pretend he doesn’t see something is terribly off? Being alone with Jack makes it really rough. Either Jack’s too close, or he’s too reserved, there’s no balance at the moment, and in his mind, it’s also either Jack grinding on his lap or Jack, far away with Aurora or that nasty creep from the app.

Gladly he’s deleted it and they didn’t need to have a talk about it again. Sam would be furious if Jack lied to him. Furious, because he’s jealous, helpless and sexually gone rogue.

Why is it so wrong to feel this way?

In the storage room there’s utter chaos and Sam will probably spend two days in here. Today, he embraces chaos. Chaos is good, because he can break it down and bring it into an order. His order. His system. He even brought instrumental music to have something to drown his own dark, sorrowful and horny thoughts. It will get over soon. He won’t be crossed in love with Jack forever. He can push through this.

But does he really want to?

Sam is so busy with tidying up that weird room that he doesn’t notice anything else is going on. Jack can hear faint flute music across the halls when he sneaks around. He has put on his best shirt, ripped stone washed jeans and a leather jacket that Dean inherited to him. Involuntarily, because he actually wanted to throw it away and like some old shirts, Jack just picked it up and kept it.

He also did his hair the way Sam said once, it looks good on him. Then maybe Hunter would like it, too?

Jack takes one of the keys for the Volvo in which Sam had taught him to drive.

Ironic. Sam lets Jack drive, but God forbid he does other adult things!

With the key in his shaking, sweaty hands Jack sneaks off to the carpool garage. The Volvo is purple and has two scratches (long ones) from Jack’s driving lessons, but Jack owns the shame about it now. He unlocks it, gets inside and opens the navigation app on his phone. It says he will be on the road for around 90 minutes, which is okay. He has brought an audiobook, three bottles of water, some protein bars and a charger for his phone. Better to have a fully charged phone, Sam says. Not everything Sam says is bull, even when it feels to Jack like it. He’s gone through a lot of feelings for Sam lately, one of them was anger because he also felt like Sam would patronise him in the most hypocritical way. As if he didn’t try stuff out when he was younger! Dean has told a story or two. But Dean also said Sam’s not gay and that’s not completely true, he found out. Sam is about the person, not gender. So, yes, he’s not gay. But he’s also not straight. If he was just in love with Jack, too. It would be so easy and Jack wouldn’t be so worked up about it.

Jack tries to shoo the thoughts away when he texts Hunter that he’s on his way, but of course he can’t. Sam is always on his mind.

*

If Sam knew he caused a moderately severe teenage rebellion and a sexuality crisis, he probably would’ve never said such bad things to Jack, and he would’ve tried to reconcile even harder. But this way he’s wound up in his inventory distractions, trying to shut the whole issue out.

Sam jerks up when he hears a noise from the hall. It’s probably just Jack walking around. Maybe the damn Magic Mountain and its discourse about damn eroticism was too much for Jack and he looks for something else to read. Sam sees him with all the heavy stuff actually. He read the Iliad , the Odyssey , the complete works of W. B. Yeats and the baroque geste The Fairie Queene by Edward Spenser in the Middle English original and he wouldn’t shut up about it for weeks. Sam has a hard time reading this epic poem, it’s complicated and he feels like he needs to have graduated in literature or linguistics to make sense of it. The problem is, Sam is maybe smart, but Jack is a fucking genius. Sam hates to admit it but the kid is so smart, he outwits Sam vertiginous ly. There’s not much Sam can actually teach him but what he can teach he doesn’t want to. Sex for example. But Dean is a shitty substitute and maybe, yeah, maybe Sam should do it. It will be embarrassing and awful but Dean would drag Jack to a fetish club or something and he can’t let that happen. It’s enough that his three father figures all are a bit weird, Jack could end up like a vanilla type of person and do something remotely decent for a change.

Maybe he should consider giving Jack some sappy romance novel, some light fare. Something that won’t stimulate Jack’s curiosity about the deep endless pits of the human mind, or human sexuel desires. Something that would scratch surfaces but not go too deep. Nora Roberts maybe, but when Sam thinks about it he remembers her novels as repetitive, and not without a problematic approach of gender dynamics, masculinity and love.

Damn. Now he’s thinking about Jack again.

It will never stop.

Sam considers a break. Just to get himself a sandwich, maybe sit together with Jack and give him another honest and more straight forward talk about how and why Sam is the way he is and why he is so different from Dean. He’s pretty sure he’s given very honest and clear answers to Jack’s questions before they had that stupid fight. Labels really aren’t Sam’s jam, but maybe Jack feels better to know labels and then decides they fit or they don’t. And Jack should know that Sam has been vulgar, unfair and downright wrong with his wording and with patronising him like that. It was not his place to send him to his room like a stubborn kid. He kind of realizes now, that Jack is so much more. He deserves a chance to understand the complex dynamics of human interaction in any kind and Sam should let him.

On his way to the kitchen he hears even more clanking of plates, a running coffee maker and sizzling. It smells like steak.

This is weird. Jack doesn’t like coffee. Jack also doesn’t know how to make a steak, that’s Dean’s thing.

Dean’s thing.

Oh no. Sam hurries to the kitchen, before Jack maybe sets something on fire and when he appears in the doorframe, calling out for Jack a very confused Castiel and Dean are in the kitchen, Dean almost drops the hot pan. Cas jerks in surprise and burns his hand with hot coffee.

“Jesus Fuck, Sam! You scared the living shit outta me!” Dean exclaims, looking confused.

Cas wipes his burnt hand clean of the spilled hot coffee.

“Why are you here?”, Cas asks and looks at Sam.

Sam is just as confused as they are at that point.

“Better question is, why are you two here? I thought it was Jack in the kitchen.”

He doesn’t even have time to be relieved about seeing Dean in good condition. He really looks good and relaxed. But at his brothers’ question he raises his eyebrows and turns off the stove.

“I, uh, actually sent you a message a couple hours ago we’re comin’ home Sammy. Enough Vegas. You didn’t reply and then when we parked Baby in the garage, the Volvo wasn’t there. That’s why we” - Dean gestures to Cas - “deduced you and Jack are maybe going somewhere and you didn’t check your messages.”

Sam’s confusion grows. “No, we didn’t go anywhere. I unlocked a secret storage room right on the way down to the pool areas and I’m doing inventory. Jack is in his room. He reads some old dusty Thomas Mann novel, because he’s into phalluses all of a sudden.”

Dean coos a laugh and Castiel clears his throat. Then all three get a glimpse on the fact that something may be wrong here.

“Well, if we’re all here, who took the Volvo?”, Cas asks, silently healing his burn.

Sam could swear Dean mumbles a “son of a bitch” under his breath before he says: “Well, not everyone is here. We should look for Jack.”

Jack isn’t in his room. His shoes and his shoulder bag are gone. The Volvo keys are missing. The situation is pretty clear. Jack has gone somewhere and didn’t tell Sam.

Son of a bitch.

Screwed Up, Scared, Doing Anything That I Needed

The date doesn’t quite go as Jack imagined it to go. Hunter is indeed the man he texted with, but he’s only ever seen the chest or his face and now Hunter looks distinctively older than he claimed on Grindr to be. Jack is too shy to ask him about it, he feels like it’s maybe rude. Hunter has used an old photo on Grindr, that’s for sure. They sat down in a bar anyway, it’s fall and it’s dawning already. Hunter offers to buy Jack drinks and given the fact Jack wouldn’t get drunk he accepts.

But Hunter seems weird. The conversation stops a couple of times and he asks a lot about Jack’s love life, but Hunter knows already, he’s inexperienced, right?

After an hour and two cocktails Jack retreats to the toilet to wash off the weird feeling he has. Hunter is nice to him, there’s no reason for him to be more suspicious. Maybe Hunter was just embarrassed because he’s lost some hair already, and the started balding on the back of his head. When Jack turns around, he gets stuck at the restroom’s stalls door and his phone nosedives in the sink where the water is still running.

“Oh shoot!”, Jack cries out. That can’t be real right now!

He tries to dry off the phone best as he can but he knows it will be best to turn it off and put it in rice. He has no idea about how to get home though and he kind of wants to go home soon. There’s no connection to Hunter as he wished there would be.

Back in the bar Hunter awaits him with what he calls a Gin Tonic. Jack chugs it down and he doesn’t like the taste at all.

“Oh you can take a lot!”, Hunter says and Jack gets the idea that he isn’t amused about how much Jack can drink.

“Yes, I umm, maybe it’s my very fresh liver”, Jack says, but he doesn’t go any further.

“Look, Hunter. You are a nice person, but I don’t feel a real connection. I’m very sorry”, Jack says, being very guilty of wasting the man’s time.

Hunter shrugs it off. “Don’t worry about it, Jack, we just wanted to meet and find out, right? But would you be so kind and ask the barista for his number for me? He seems to be flirting but I’m shy, as you may have … noticed.”

Jack is a bit irritated, but he wants to do the man a favor and agrees. “I wanted to order a coke anyway”, Jack says, getting up. “Do you want something more?”

The older man just gives him a crooked smile.

“Nah, I’m good, champ.”

Champ. Who says champ?

Jack goes over to the bar where the barista (tall, handsome, eyeliner and old school tattoos, maybe as old as Jack passes with). As innocent as he still is in his rebellion he asks him about his name and number.

“Who do you want that for?”, the barista asks him, pouring him a glass of coke.

Jack hates lying, that’s why he points over to Hunter with his thumb.

“My date over there.”

The barista huffs and shakes his head.

“No, but if you want my number I’ll give it to you.”

Jack declines.

“That is very nice of you, but I’m already in love with someone and I think I won’t be with anyone else very soon.”

“I’m Baz, if you change your mind”, that’s when the barista gives him a slip of paper with his instagram URL on it.

“Thank you, Baz”, Jack smiles at him and waves when he takes the coke in his hands and goes back to Hunter.

He’s on the phone, texting someone and Jack just remembers he maybe needs to get a phone call or some maps print to find his way home. His phone shouldn’t be turned on again and he should maybe call Sam to pick him up. That’s really a dumb situation he’s in. Hunter doesn’t look up at first but eventually does and Jack sits down.

“I’m sorry, he’s not interested”, Jack says and takes a sip of his coke.

Hunter sighs but he kind of doesn’t look all too disappointed. “Thanks for the effort though.”

“Hunter, I have a little problem, my phone got wet in the restroom and I need to print a map or call my dad to fetch me here.”

That’s something he seems to like hearing and Hunter relaxes.

“Not a problem, you can come home with me, it’s not far. You can use my printer if you like and I can give you a bag and some rice to put your phone in. It’s no big deal.”

Jack sighs in relief and relaxes a bit. It’s dark outside already, the kind of darkness, that’s not all consuming, but creepy enough. Jack doesn’t like being outside alone for too long and he’s glad Hunter is willing to help.

He wants to pay for himself, this is why Jack gets up and pays his drinks at the register. When he’s back he exes his coke, that tastes strangely bitter this time and maybe it’s just some residual from the cleaning agent. Hunter smiles and gets up too to pay. Jack buttons up his jacket and they leave the bar together.

The air is crisp and there’s a hint of rain. Jack can taste the drops already.

The walk is a little longer than expected and when they arrive at the house, Jack finally gets suspicious. Hunter claims to live on the second floor, and there’s light in two of the rooms. Did he leave his lights on? That is wasting resources and Sam doesn’t like it when Jack would leave the lights on.

Jack doesn’t give it any more thoughts. Somehow Jack feels a bit icky now, there’s a bitter taste in his mouth and his sight is getting a tiny bit blurry, frayed on the edges. Hunter lets him in.

“If you like, you can wait here for a second, I uh, I think I didn’t tidy up very well, I didn’t think we’d come home”, Hunter says, giving Jack a crooked smile. The apartment is tiny, the fitted kitchen just has a small fridge and two hot plates. There’s a microwave and an electric kettle, a toaster and a coffee maker. All in all it looks tidy, but worn, the wallpaper of the corridor looks yellow-ish and it smells of cigarettes. Jack doesn’t like it when people smoke and he’s glad none of his dads do so. Hunter hurries to a door that maybe leads to the living room and sleeping room. Jack has very good senses and he doesn’t feel like he’s alone. There’s footsteps and breathing and the smell of something clinical.

Jack needs to lean against the counter of the kitchen unit and close his eyes. He feels uneasy, something is wrong and he knows he should go. His body feels heavy and his thoughts delay.

And that’s when Jack can hear another man as clear as a bell saying something to Hunter.

“Dude, why did you bring him here? He’s still conscious!”

Then Hunter.

“I had no choice, I gave him the whole bottle. That shit could kill an elephant but he’s still walking straight. I had no idea what to do!”

“You fucking retard!”

This is so loud now, Jack would even hear it if the men didn’t whisper. Jack knows he should react much faster but he feels like he’s walking through water when he reaches for the door and opens it.

And what he sees is nothing he expected.

Jack’s phone is dead.

“What do we do now?”

Sam is clearly panicking and Dean is moderately concerned now, too. Cas kind of holds his shit together, but he also worries.

The angel also is the one to make first assumptions.

“Every of our cars has a GPS tracker, right? We can find him like this, we just have to consult the app.”

Sometimes it sounds like Cas thinks there’s a breathing person on the other end of the line looking the GPS signal up for him, but neither Sam or Dean really bother to make fun of him for a change.

“This is my fault.”

Sam of course blames himself. He has been unfair to Jack, he even insulted him. Something that Sam would never do. If he was still a bit sane, but he seems like his feelings for Jack just turn him inside out. But then he looks at Dean, who really makes a guilty face right now and Sam has an idea.

“No, actually it’s your fault, Dean. You told him about the damn app. We had a fight about it and a couple days later he sneaks out? He must’ve kept contact with someone.”

Dean frowns and crosses his arms, defensively.

“Well I didn’t expect him to pull it off, I mean the boy is clearly in love with you, Sam. I thought that would help him enough through his identity crisis.”

Sam just ignores Dean’s suggestion, Jack would be in love with Sam. Sam would know that, right? He would notice, if Jack was seeking his attention? And given the nature of their relationship that would be absolutely inappropriate.

As inappropriate as his own feelings for Jack.

“Stop making fun of him, I swear, I’ll strangle you myself if something happened to him.”

“Whatever.” Dean says and shrugs. “I know I’m right about that. You should’ve just, dunno, give him a hand or so.”

“You’re unbelievable!”

Before Sam could really reach out and knock his brother unconscious, Castiel interferes. Physically and vocally.

“Sam, Dean. This isn’t helping. It doesn’t matter whose fault it is that Jack is gone, we need to find him. The GPS app says the car is parked in Gilead, Kansas. That’s about an hour and a half away from here. I turned on angel radio, but Jack isn’t responding. Something has happened. We need to go. I’ll zap us to the car and from there, I can maybe sense him. We have no time for rituals. Let’s hope, he’s okay.”

Sam feels like he is about to collapse and cry his heart out. Jack is out there and maybe he’s in danger.

Life Imitates Art

What is irritating Jack the most isn’t the camera on a tripod in front of the bed. It’s also not the three strange guys surrounding the bed or Hunter’s surprised and frightened face. It is the tarp spread over the mattress. A black shiny huge tarp and Jack doesn’t have a single idea why it should be there. His vision shifts slightly and there’s a distant ringing in his ears.

“What is..?” Jack wants to ask but the sentence won’t leave his mouth completely.

Of course, even he gets now he’s been tricked into something. He’s been so incredibly stupid.

“Come on, boy, just relax”, one of the men says and Jack recognizes the voice.

It’s the one who called Hunter a retard and complained about Jack still being conscious. That’s why the coke tasted like soap. Hunter tried to drug him!

The man comes closer now, Jack smells his sharp and heavy aftershave and his head is spinning. Gladly, Jack is half angel and the drugs didn’t knock him out. That’s why Hunter gave him too much it seems. He isn’t going to faint or something but Jack is clearly handicapped and when a second guy also comes closing in Jack looks for a way out, but Hunter behind him locks the door. He looks around, panicking, but all he sees is an XXL bottle of massage oil and sex toys. Oh holy shit.

“Don’t come near me!”, Jack says, retreating, but nudging Hunter with his back and Hunter grips his arms. “Don’t touch me!”

Jack knows how it is to be afraid, but this is a whole new level of fear. He fears for what these men will do to him if he doesn’t manage to get out. The familiar sensation of his powers start tickling. First in his stomach, then his arms and then a piercing pain behind his eyes.

“I said, don’t touch me! ”

The men won’t stop but one of them is looking at him like he’s a ghost.

“What is happening with his eyes?”, he yells. “Shit, something’s wrong with his eyes!”

This must be the moment Jack’s eyes start glowing golden, like they do when Jack is in a state of emotional distress and he does good so. Because the next thing Jack feels is like his chest is erupting.

“No one touches me!”

And then the world turns red.

Castiel drags Sam and Dean across the city, all three of them panicking. The Volvo is abandoned, parked in the city but no sign of Jack. They have no idea where to look first and Cas’ doesn’t receive any signal from Jack, and, well, you can see he’s trying very hard to get even a tiny bit of information.

Dean and Sam are still yelling at each other, like that’s helping anyone right now! But Cas is too focused, too worried to care about the mortals fighting like children.

When Jack’s powers surface, Cas can hear Jack’s enochian voice in his head and it’s shrill, it’s blinding but he knows exactly where they have to go now. He grabs each Winchester and says, following Jack’s call “Shut up, you two. I got him!”

Jack feels dizzy and sick, and he vomits all over the floor. It’s coke and alcohol, gastric acid and the drug Hunter gave him. Everything’s coming out in spurts and Jack is happy to get rid of the poison. The dust in the room settles, three bodies are scattered around him, all of them still breathing but bleeding but one of them, the fourth is crawling towards the door. Jack wants to stop him, because he thinks the man might hurt another boy just like this and he can’t let him get away with it, but his human body is cramping and throwing up bitter fluids.

The man wails when Sam shows up out of nowhere, sided by Cas and Dean. Jack sees them through a veil of tears, but he can’t get up, all he can do for now is whimper. There’s distant grunts and yelling, hectic moving. Cas helps him sit up and his warm healing light helps Jack regain some conscience.

“They’re all blacked out”, Jack hears Dean say. “God damn, look at this, Sam. Camera, bed, latex bed sheets, dildos, lube….”

“Gang rape”, Sam just says and Jack can hear his voice shake with anger.

Then - sounds of plates clashing on the floor and Sam yelling at Dean. And then yelling at Jack who’s still held by Cas to be healed.

“For fuck’s sake, Jack! What did you do?!”

“We need to leave”, Cas says, “we can’t stay, the eruption didn’t happen unheard. Police will be here soon.”

“Sam?”, Jack moans. “Sam?”

Sam crouches in front of Jack and places his hand on Jack’s cheek. There’s no smile in Sam’s face, which Jack would die for. There’s disappointment and anger. So much anger.

“I didn’t mean to…”

Jack regains his strength and gets up. “I’m okay, Cas. I can walk.”

It’s no difference if Jack wanted it or not, it happened. He has almost been assaulted and videotaped because he trusted the wrong person. Because he wanted to show Sam he’s an adult, he can make his own decisions. He’s mature enough to date.

The bitter truth is, that Jack was just a brat and it almost cost him something important. His innocence.

On the way home, Jack and Sam don’t talk much. Dean and Cas zapped back home, but they needed to get the car away from the parking lot and Jack doesn’t want to be zapped, he still feels sick. It’s not only because he threw up all of his meals and drinks today or that he used his powers to defend himself. It was the look on Sam’s face that was utterly sickening. Jack could live with Sam yelling at him again, even calling him a whore or whatever. Call him stupid, childish, bratty, cocky. But the silence is gnawing on Jack’s nerves like a hungry rat. But there’s not much he can say, because if he just told Sam what’s gotten into him he would maybe spill he’s in love with Sam. That he wanted to know what is going on with his body and mind and why he desires Sam of all people on this planet … that Jack wanted to know how it feels to be taken seriously by someone who desires Jack. And if there was a way to forget about Sam with someone else. It didn’t work with Aurora, hell it didn’t work with Hunter.

Jack wonders if he’ll just be in this state forever. Seeing Sam and immediately daydreaming of his big, strong hands all over Jack’s body.

Sam doesn’t talk to him for the whole ride except necessities, he doesn’t talk much when they’re home. There’s another very nasty fight between all three of his dads, when they think Jack is already asleep. Cas looked after him half of the night, helped him shower, brought him sandwiches, water and anti nausea pills. He even attempts to talk about what happened but Jack just can’t. Not yet. Not with Cas. How could a seraph, a celestial being, understand Jack’s human nature? And his failures? He tries and Jack is happy about it. He apologizes to Cas more than once but Cas just says, it’s okay, it happens, we all make mistakes.

But the yelling of Sam and Dean is deafening.

Sam accuses Dean of getting Jack willfully in danger. Dean yelling at Sam for being a fucking coward. A hypocrite, a prude. A liar.

Dean is a drinker, an asshole, a narcissist, relationally disturbed and overall a bad person.

If you believe what they say to each other, which Jack doesn’t.

He doesn’t know what or whom to believe these days.

It takes Dean two days to come up to Jack and apologize. There’s a lot of words being said, all saying the same. That Dean was a prick for saying that, he didn’t mean Jack to get in danger. And somehow Jack thinks, no, he didn’t want Jack to get hurt. He wanted to teach Jack a lesson, whatever that lesson was. Jack wasn’t getting behind it and Dean just manipulates sometimes. He maybe knows the answer and Jack would’ve done a lot to be able to read minds. He could also make all of them stop lying again, but the last time ended in so much chaos… Jack better doesn’t act up at all these days. He’s just happy his fathers found him on time.

Put Your Hands On My Waist, Do It Softly

It takes Jack three nights to finally go up to Sam’s room and knock. He knows Sam is awake, he may not be able to read minds, but he senses Sam’s distress.

“Yeah?”, Sam calls.

“Sam, uh, it’s me, Jack. Can I come in?”

A loud sigh, creaking of the bed.

“Sure. Come in.”

Jack feels like the damn newborn fawn he didn’t want to be mistaken for in this moment when he worms into Sam’s room and closes the door behind him. Sam is in his shorts only, Jack in his pajamas, but when Jack is honest, he didn’t sleep a single minute since they got back to the bunker. He is afraid of the dark and the loneliness and he misses Sam around him so damn much, he cries until his eyes burn and his face is swollen.

“Sam, I wanted to say, … I am sorry, I shouldn’t have lied to you about the app. I shouldn’t have snuck out to meet a shady guy so far away. I’m really sorry.”

Sam looks up.

“Jack, what you did was stupid, rash and irresponsible but I’m not the one you should apologize to. I should apologize to you, but all of this won’t make it undone, you know?”

He tears up again when he sees the hurt look on Sam’s face.

“Look, I know I was mean to you and I was overprotective, rude and I didn’t even tell you why I’m not telling you everything about love and sex you want and need to hear. I should have because I’m your caretaker and I should’ve known better. I don’t blame you even half as much as I blame myself.”

At first Jack wants to protest, but Sam is right. There’s been mistakes on both sides with a hint of Dean spicing things up.

“Can I sit down?”, Jack then asks, still standing in the corner at the door.

Sam gets up and puts his laundry away from the only available seat. Except his bed.

Jack sits down, rubbing his face and squeezing his legs together. Damn tears. He even has a headache.

“I wanted to understand”, Jack mumbles, looking down at his lap. “Why I feel certain things for certain people-”, he looks up, Sam’s face is still a stiff grimace, “... why is it all so confusing?”

“Love?”, Sam asks.

“Yes, love. Sex. All of it.”

There’s a minute of nerve wracking silence, before Jack has the guts to say it.

“I only ever wanted to know how it is with you .”

It’s so quiet now, Jack imagines he could hear a pin drop at the gas station out of Lebanon. He knows he dropped a bomb right here, but he overheard another fight with Dean calling Sam a hypocrite -again- and ‘having the hots for the kid’. Apart from being called a damn kid again, Jack checked what that means. Having the hots. And well, yeah, Jack himself has the hots for Sam and he doesn’t want to live with the uncertainty anymore. He won’t meet anyone else he wants to be with, not in a very long time and if Sam doesn’t reciprocate his feelings, he can still try to move on. But there’s no moving on in a vacuum. Like now.

“Dean is right?”, Jack asks carefully, his voice is thin.

“Dean is right”, Sam finally admits and buries his face in his hands. “But it doesn’t mean it’s right. You know?”

“I know.”

Another second passes.

“No, actually I don’t know, Sam. I don’t think it’s wrong. You said you’d never judge. But why did you do so when I needed your approval the most?”

Sam looks helpless, wringing his hands.

“Because I was jealous and I shouldn’t be.”

“I would’ve liked your jealousy more than being insulted by you.”

It’s visible how uncomfortable Sam is, he’s fighting emotions. Jack is, too. But he’s crying already. What happened to Jack was terrifying, but what he really, truly fears is Sam’s rejection.

“I’m sorry, Jack.”

“Stop being sorry and start being honest with me… Don’t you think I deserve it now? I know I’ve changed very radically. I used to go to town in my damn pajamas. That’s barely four weeks ago and it feels like years already.”

Sam smiles now. Even a little sad.

“Yes, it was actually very adorable. Seeing you like this.”

“I’m not adorable anymore. I’m not that naive anymore. Why can’t you just… see me like Dean sees Cas?”

“That’s a very bad example and you know it.”

Now Jack laughs and wipes away some cold tears from his face.

“And I already see you like this, Jack. But I feel guilty for it. I’m here to keep you safe. I want to be the person you turn to when you’re lost, I want to guide you, but also be the person that’s your safe haven. Can I do that when we… Jack, when we get together, our relationship will change. We will get to know each other in ways that might scare you. Or even scare me. I’m afraid of that. And if I’m afraid, you should be, too.”

When Jack gets up and sits beside Sam on the bed, without asking first -- it feels like a very bold move for Jack. He likes being close to Sam and feeling his body radiate warmth and safety but also desire and a pull that’s hard to resist, Jack knows it’s the right thing.

“I’m not afraid. I’ve been afraid in Gilead, but when I’m with you, I know nothing bad will ever happen to me.”

Sam’s face yells OBJECTIONS but Jack ignores it.

Jack leans on Sam’s shoulder, the touch feels electrifying and at first, Sam stiffens, but then relaxes and puts his hand around Jack’s shoulders.

“I’m not afraid”, Jack says again.

Sam nuzzles his nose against Jack’s hair and kisses him right behind his ear. Jack feels violent hot shudders all over and that is the most intense thing he’s ever felt for anyone.

“It feels good”, he mumbles, turning his face to Sam.

Sam is close, incredibly close and despite the hot shudders Jack gets goosebumps all over. It feels like that one time he had fevers, when he was dying, but in a good way. The best possible way.

Jack doesn’t receive a kiss on his lips, as he wished for, Sam kisses his cheek and his jaw. Just slightly. But to Jack it feels like he’s a dying sun out there in the universe and he’s being eaten up by heat and flares of light.

And then Sam’s hand reaches for Jack’s.

“I still need time…”, he whispers, “we both need some time. To be sure.”

“I’m very sure.”

“Give it a minute”, Sam says, hot breath lingering over Jack’s face. “Just a minute…”

Even Sam can’t wait the damn minute before he kisses Jack. Gentle and light like a hummingbird.

"This is Heaven, what I truly want."

[witchsambingo]

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[writethelifeyouwant]

Show Me - Part 3

Summary: Jack goes to Sam and Dean for advice about girls and sex, and Sam turns out to be an excellent teacher.

Pairing: Sam x Jack x Reader Rating: 18+ Tags: Bi!Jack, Bi!Sam, Age Difference, Pseudo-Incest, First Kiss, Mutual Masturbation, Sexting, Phone Sex, Sex Toys, Fleshlight, Sloppy Seconds, Pining!Sam, Eventual Dom/Sub Relationship, Dom!Sam, Switch!Jack, Sub!Reader Word Count: 2.1k

A/N: @jackandthesoulmates commissioned this piece and I’ve had so much fun coming up with all these sexy scenarios 🖤

Mini Series Masterlist

Sam is not jealous. He’s just... concerned. He saw how anxious Jack was before he left for his date with Y/N, the boy was nearly vibrating with nerves. Sam offered to drop him off at the restaurant, to help keep him calm in the car ride over. Jack had eagerly accepted, but he hadn’t spent it how Sam assumed he would. The younger man was quiet and fidgety the whole way, turning up the music as soon as they slid in the car in an effort to distract himself.

Sam had thought Jack would have a load of last minute questions. Tonight was the big night after all. Jack hasn’t just booked a table at the nice little Italian restaurant on the main drag in Lebanon, he’s also reserved a room at a decently nice little hotel just outside town. Dean and Sam both agreed that bringing Y/N back to the bunker wasn’t an option at the moment, and would likely not help Jack get laid, considering several rooms were literal torture dungeons. That sort of thing tends to put people off.

So Sam had dropped Jack and his hotel key off at the restaurant with a parting hug, meant to be comforting. There’s a chance it had come off a little more... possessive than reassuring, but it was too late to take it back now. And Sam had pulled the car away, watching Jack’s stationary wave goodbye in the rearview mirror.

Then he’d pulled the car down a side street, parked up, and took up residence at a window seat in the café across the street from Jack’s date. Again, not jealous. He’s just looking out for the kid. He wants to be close by, just in case he needs something.

Just in case.

Jack is twitchy.

He can’t sit still in the restaurant booth. He checks the clock on the wall every fifteen seconds on the dot, wondering why it’s moving so much more slowly than usual. He’s early, like he planned to be, but now he’s here he wishes he hadn’t been quite so early. He should have stayed in the car with Sam a little longer. Asked… anything, really. He still has so many questions.

The tall, chipper waiter that had brought Jack to his table is walking toward him again, and Jack straightens up and tries to school his face into an expression somewhere closer to happiness than sheer panic. Y/N steps out from behind the shadow of the waiter, smiling lightly.

“Hey,” Y/N gives Jack one of the short, still waves that she teases him for so often, and it breaks the tension a little when he laughs brightly. Jack stands and pulls her into a hug, risks a small kiss on the cheek, and when he pulls back to look at her, she’s flushed, her skin hot against his.

“You look so pretty,” Jack blurts out when they’re both seated and the waiter has left them to fill their drinks order. Y/N tries to suppress her smile, but Jack can tell she’s pleased with the compliment. And he meant it, she’s always pretty, but something about the way she looked tonight – it’s like she’s glowing.

“How are you?” Y/N makes small talk. The waiter brings their drinks. They order dinner.

“So, um,” Y/N clears her throat and takes a sip of her wine before trying again. “You got the hotel room, right?”

“Uh-huh,” Jack nods nervously, ashamed of how close his answer had been to a squeak.

“Can I tell you something?” she asks softly, looking around as if they would be overheard. Jack leans in to listen. “I’m really nervous, are you?”

“Oh my god, yes,” Jack sighs, happy that he’s not alone in his internal turmoil.

“Why are we so awkward?” Y/N giggles, visibly relieved too.

“Well, I know why I am. I have the social skills of a three year old,” Jack jokes, and Y/N snorts into her wine, not knowing just how serious Jack is about that statement. “Your reason might be something to do with that laugh,” Jack teases, taking a drink from his own glass.

“You’re so mean!” Y/N sounds affronted, but jovially so. “It’ll be fine, right? We’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, of course,” Jack nods more confidently than he feels. “Completely fine.”

They’re not so fine.

Why is it so awkward now that they know they want to go all the way tonight? Jack had had a hard time stopping himself after their last date, when they’d been making out in the dark of her car, parked in the driveway. Y/N had been running her hand over Jack’s groin the way Sam had taught him to touch himself, and it had felt fucking amazing, having Y/N’s hands on his dick, even through his khakis. But they’d both agreed they should wait, and do it right. It would be their first time, after all, and not just with each other. Ever.

But now they’re in the hotel room and they can’t seem to calm down or get started. They’re sitting on the bed, cross legged, still fully clothed, just…staring at each other.

Jack’s phone dings, and they both jump. He reaches for the phone beside him, sees it’s a text from Dean in the group chat, prays it’s some kind of supernatural emergency.

Dean: Nice knowin ya kid, when you come back tomorrow you’ll be a man

Sam must have told Dean about his date tonight. He blushes furiously.

Sam: Dean! I told you not to text him, knock it off

Cas: What is going on?

There’s an array of small dots flashing at the bottom of the screen and Jack mutes the chat.

“Sorry,” he says awkwardly, looking back to Y/N. She shrugs forgivingly.

“Anything important?”

Jack shakes his head, but then another ding goes off with a new text. He grimaces another apology, looking down at his phone. It’s not the group chat, just Sam.

Sam: Sorry about Dean, you’ve got this buddy, have fun

Jack sees their earlier messages on top of Sam’s newest one. A photo he’d sent of the fleshlight Sam loaned him, his cum leaking out of the pussy shaped end, to prove he’d been practicing, just like Sam instructed.

… just like Sam instructed. Jack has an idea.

“Y/N…” Jack trails off, still looking at his phone screen, the photo, the message from Sam, “Y/N, do you trust me?” Jack flicks his eyes up, gaze meeting hers hopefully. The nerves on Y/N’s face soften, and she smiles.

“Yeah, I do,” she nods.

“I have an idea, it’s a little… unusual? But I really think it can help us.” Jack’s earnest. Desperate, at this point. He never thought it would be this hard to just have sex with someone. And it was always so easy when Sam was there to tell him what to do.

Sam’s phone rings a minute after he texts Jack, and he looks at it curiously before picking up. He hopes he didn’t interrupt at a bad moment. Except maybe he hopes that he did.

“Jack? Is everything alright?” He sits in stunned silence as Jack voices his proposal. He wants Sam to help him, to help them, like he’s been helping Jack before. He wants Sam there, with them. Sam’s heart swells with the warmth of being needed, feeling wanted, and then he pauses to consider exactly what this would mean. He would be there while Jack and Y/N… he would see them, maybe even touch them. His cock swells even more than his heart.

“Is Y/N okay with this?”

“She trusts me,” Jack says simply. Right now, that’s good enough for Sam.

Sam gets to their room quickly, he’d only been down the street. Not that Jack needs to know that he’d followed Y/N’s car when they left the restaurant after dinner. Jack opens the door with a relieved smile and pulls Sam inside by the hand.

“Thank you,” he whispers, and Sam smiles and nods in acknowledgement. “Y/N,” Jack speaks more loudly, turning back to the girl on the bed, “this is Sam.”

Sam stands at the foot of the bed where Jack leads him. Y/N is sitting in the middle, staring up at him with wide, glassy eyes – visibly perplexed.

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N,” Sam smiles, puts on his best comforting, helpful tone of voice; the one he uses a lot with nervous witnesses on cases. He sees her breath hitch in her chest when he says her name and stores that information for later.

“Nice to meet you too,” she stammers politely, looking quickly between Sam and Jack. Jack sits back down on the bed and reaches confidently for Y/N’s hand. Sam sees her squeeze his fingers tightly, a silent sign that she does still trust him, even if she doesn’t understand what’s going on, yet.

“Do you remember when we went for that walk in the park, by the pond?” Jack asks, eyes only for Y/N at the moment. She nods demurely. “How I told you, you’re the first girl I ever kissed?” Another nod. “And you made a joke - about how I must have had a good teacher?” Y/N’s eyes flick to Sam at Jack’s words. Sam sees the puzzle pieces connect for her.

“Sam… taught you?” she asks shyly, eyes sliding back to Sam before she could help it, then jumping back to Jack as soon as she caught Sam’s eye. Jack was nodding.

“Sam taught me everything,” he smiles, then hesitates, “well… everything I’ve done so far. But I thought, if, um, if you wanted…” Jack looks back to Sam, and Sam smiles encouragingly. “I thought maybe Sam could teach me this, too. Teach us this.” Jack swallows thickly, Sam sees his throat bob with the effort.

Sam stays quiet, lets Y/N consider. She looks at him more closely now, eyes scanning, weighing up her options.

“How?” she asks eventually. Jack visibly relaxes, tension melting away, because now he can look to Sam for the answers. Sam steps forward and folds himself down onto the edge of the bed, still giving the couple their space.

“I’ve helped Jack in a lot of different ways,” he explains gently. “Sometimes I show him what to do and I talk him through it. Sometimes I do it to myself and he copies me… sometimes we practice together.” Sam’s eyes move to find Jack, who’s smiling warmly at him, Y/N’s hand still in his. Y/N looks between them again.

“And you– um, you can tell us what to do?” Her tone is nervous still, but there’s a flash of something more in her eyes. Hope, maybe.

“If that’s what you both want,” Sam nods.

Y/N and Jack look at each other simultaneously, and Sam is pleasantly surprised to see how in sync they are with each other. They’re strangely peaceful, now that he’s here; now that they know it doesn’t have to be solely up to them. Someone else can be in charge. They’re both more comfortable with that, Sam can tell. He settles himself into the control while he waits for their answer, confident he already knows what it is.

She takes her time, considering in silence, before giving Jack a nod, a small smile on her face.

“Yeah?” Jack checks carefully, but Sam sees his fingers twitch around hers. She nods again, smiling a little easier.

“Y/N,” Sam speaks up, “this might seem a little overboard to you, but I need you to use your words. Consent is very important to me, and to Jack.” Sam tries to stress this as gently as possible but he knows he needs to be careful in such a delicate situation, and he could never stand it if he hurt someone, or made them uncomfortable.

“Yes,” Y/N answers, without hesitation but not in a rush. There’s a calm surety to her tone as she looks Sam in the eyes, and Sam believes her.

“Alright then,” Sam breathes, like he’s gearing up for something, even though he knows right now he won’t be participating, their first time should only be about them. If he plays this right though…

Jack beams and leans forward to give Y/N a small kiss, and Sam takes advantage of the natural start to the proceedings. Pushing forward over the bed, he presses a hand to the back of Jack’s head so he can’t pull away.

“Keep kissing her Jack,” Sam speaks softly against Jack’s ear, but makes sure it’s loud enough that Y/N can hear his instructions too. “Take her breath away.”

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[writethelifeyouwant]

Show Me - Part 2

Summary: Jack goes to Sam and Dean for advice about girls and sex, and Sam turns out to be an excellent teacher.

Pairing: Sam x Jack x Reader Rating: 18+ Tags: Bi!Jack, Bi!Sam, Age Difference, Pseudo-Incest, First Kiss, Mutual Masturbation, Sexting, Phone Sex, Sex Toys, Fleshlight, Sloppy Seconds, Pining!Sam, Eventual Dom/Sub Relationship, Dom!Sam, Switch!Jack, Sub!Reader, Word Count: 3k

A/N: @jackandthesoulmates commissioned this piece and I’ve had so much fun coming up with all these sexy scenarios 🖤

Mini Series Masterlist

“Good morning,” Jack greets Dean cheerfully, getting himself a cup of coffee and sitting down across from the hunter.

Dean grunts in acknowledgment of Jack’s entrance but doesn’t speak. His eyes are still closed. If he wasn’t sitting up and holding his own mug of coffee Jack would have thought he was still asleep. Leaving him be for the moment, Jack pulls the cereal towards himself and digs into his sugary breakfast – something he and Dean have in common, unlike their feelings towards mornings.

Jack gets another cup of coffee when he finishes his first, and Dean stretches out his cup wordlessly, asking Jack to give him a refill as well. He grunts again in thanks and goes back to savouring his morning caffeine with his eyes closed.

“Dean?”

“Hmm?” he huffs, blinking his eyes open.

“How do I know when I’m ready to ask her out?” Jack asks, shy but straight to the point.

“Ask who what?” Dean squints at him, clearly confused.

“The girl I like, Y/N,” Jack supplies, realising he never mentioned her name before.

“Wait, wait,” Dean shakes his head and tries to focus, “before, when you were askin’ about sex and,” he waves his hand in vague circles, “whatever – you’re asking because there’s an actual chick you like? Not just… curiosity an’ shit?”

“Yes, Y/N is an ‘actual chick’,” Jack nods, putting emphasis on Dean’s phrasing.

“And you like her? Like, you don’t just wanna have sex with her, you actually like her, like her.”

“Well, I do want to have sex with her. That’s why I asked you and Sam for help.” Jack isn’t sure what the distinction is. Aren’t you supposed to like all the people you have sex with?

“Well, yeah, but you’re not lookin’ to hit and quit, you want to, y’know, date this girl. Yeah?”

“Yes, I think so,” Jack nods.

“Well that’s a whole different story man,” Dean laughs, scrubbing his hands through his hair. “Dating a girl, you’ve gotta go slow. You build up to things like sex, you don’t ever sleep with her on the first date, or she’ll think you’re way too pushy. You have to make her want to have sex with you, make her think it was her idea. ”

“Oh,” Jack blinks, taking in this new information. “So how do you date a girl and make her want to have sex with you?”

“Oh, my young padawan, I have so much I can teach you,” Dean grins, and Jack returns the smile.

“Perfect.”

Sam looks up from his laptop when he hears a knock on his door. “Come in!” he calls, knowing it will be Jack, Dean doesn’t bother with knocking usually. “Hey Jack,” he smiles when the boy ducks his head around the door.

“Can I ask you a question, Sam?”

“Sure, bud. What’s up?” Sam closes his laptop and pats the empty space on the bed next to him, which Jack takes.

“I’m texting Y/N, and I don’t know what I should say,” Jack trails off nervously and Sam smirks. Jack and Y/N have been texting for a few weeks now, ever since Dean had taken Jack out for a lesson in how to ask for a girl’s number.

Apparently Jack had been a natural, and had Y/N eating out of his hand in no time. Sam almost wishes he could have seen that, he bets Jack would have had the cutest flush… he jerks himself away from his thoughts and back to the present.

“What did she say last?” Sam asks, clearing his throat awkwardly, hoping Jack didn’t notice his brief brain fog.

“She sent me this picture,” Jack holds his phone out for Sam to see, and his jaw drops. The picture is of a stunningly pretty girl wearing nothing but dark blue lingerie, her lips pouting and shiny with gloss, and a finger twirled in her hair.

“Wow,” Sam manages to stutter after a moment.

“What do I say? Dean told me I shouldn’t be too forward, but I also should always tell her the truth, but right now the truth is that I want to have sex with her, but if I say that she might hate me,” Jack babbles, thoughts spilling out in a cascade, and Sam smiles widely at how cute he is when he’s flustered.

“Hey, slow down, it’s okay,” Sam grabs Jack’s shoulder and squeezes, trying to ground him. “It looks like she’s trying to sext with you.”

“She wants to have sex with a text message?” Jack questions, brow quirking up curiously.

“Well, kind of,” Sam shrugs, “it’s like when you touch yourself, but instead of just imagining what you want to do with someone, you’re talking about it with them. It makes it more real, I guess. And sometimes along with the texts you send pictures, like that, to show what you’re wearing or, um,” Sam feels himself flush as he stutters, “what you’re not wearing.”

“What do I say?” Jack asks again, nervously, but Sam can also see a light in his eyes telling him he’s excited.

“Well, when you saw that photo, how did it make you feel?” Sam asks, and Jack considers for a moment.

“Tingly. And hot,” he settles on. Sam chuckles.

“Did you get a little hard when you saw it?” he asks with bated breath, and Jack hesitates for a moment but then he nods.

“Tell her that,” Sam pushes the phone back towards Jack. “That will make her feel sexy, she’ll know you want her the same way she wants you.” Jack types up a quick message and turns the phone back to Sam.

“Like that?”

Jack: Your picture made me feel tingly and hard

Sam tries to hide his laugh, not meaning it mockingly, and takes the phone from Jack. “Think about the way I talk to you when we have our lessons,” Sam muses, then types a new message for Jack. “Maybe something like this.”

Jack: My god, you’re beautiful. That pic got me so hard baby

“Thanks Sam,” Jack smiles and hits send.

“Anytime,” Sam swallows hard, giving Jack’s shoulder another friendly squeeze. Jack’s phone dings with another message.

Y/N: Can I see?

Jack blushes fiercely and Sam smirks. When he looks at the boy’s lap, he can see a small bulge in his sweatpants. Sam gets up and closes the door. Jack looks up at him curiously while he returns to the bed.

“Get comfy. I’m gonna help you sext her.” Jack looks visibly relieved and Sam feels a glow bloom through his chest. Jack needs his help, he wants Sam to do this.

“Start teasing her a little, take a photo of your dick with your sweatpants on.” Sam climbs onto the bed behind Jack, straddling his legs around him and leaning back against the headboard with Jack sitting between his thighs. Jack leans back into Sam’s chest so he can get a better angle for the photo.

“Show me,” Sam instructs, and Jack lifts the phone for him to check the picture. “I think we can get you harder than that, don’t you?” His voice spills out over Jack’s neck, low and warm. Jack nods and reaches to touch himself, massaging his boner through his sweatpants.

“Yeah, there you go,” Sam encourages gently, brushing his hands up and down Jack’s arms. “That’s better, take another picture.”

Jack takes one and hits send once Sam gives his approval. They only have to wait a few seconds for Y/N’s reply.

Y/N: Shit you look big

Y/N: That’s so hot Jack

Sam reaches around Jack and takes the phone. “Touch yourself for me, baby boy. I’ll type, you just focus on feeling good. Tell me if there’s anything you want me to say to her.”

“I want to tell her she’s hot too,” Jack breathes heavily, pushing one hand into his underwear and starting to jerk himself.

Jack: Are you as turned on as I am?

Y/N: Definitely

Jack: Show me?

“How do girls show you they’re turned on? They don’t get hard like boys do,” Jack asks curiously.

“Girls get wet,” Sam answers. “And I’m hoping I’ll be able to show you what I mean in a minute.”

He’s not disappointed when another text arrives a moment later with a photo attached. It’s a picture of Y/N’s panties, pulled down her legs and stretched between her thighs so they can see the bit of the material that had been between her legs. There’s a very obvious dark patch on the cotton where her arousal had leaked out of her, and Sam groans, unable to help himself.

“See that spot there, Jack? That’s how you know she’s turned on. When you get a girl all wet and slippery for you, god, it’s one of the best feelings in the world, feeling that and knowing you did that to them.”

“I– I did that to her?” Jack pants, bucking his hips up into his hand, squirming against Sam’s chest.

“Yes you did,” Sam whispers in his ear. “And I think you should show her what she’s doing to you. Pull down those pants baby, send her a pic of that pretty cock.” Sam’s own cock is straining against his jeans, but he ignores it. He can take care of himself later – right now is about Jack and Y/N.

Jack wriggles for a moment and gets his sweatpants and underwear down around his thighs. Sam wraps one of Jack’s hands around his dick, strokes him with it a few times, then holds him still. Jack uses his free hand to take the photo, showing Sam for his approval before he sends it.

“So fucking hot, baby,” Sam growls against Jack’s ear, moving his hand again to encourage Jack to keep jerking off. He takes the phone back and sends Y/N a new text to go with the photo.

Jack: Are you wet enough to fit this into you?

Her response is almost instantaneous.

Y/N: Fuck so wet Jack

“She’s got a fucking dirty mouth,” Sam chuckles darkly.

He loves it, the thought of her dripping for Jack, begging for his cock. He thinks about what it would look like to watch him sink into her body. He wishes he could see Jack fuck someone, see him lose himself in some cunt. He gets an idea.

“Stay here Jack, tell her about how you’re touching yourself, tell her you wish she was here to touch you.”

Jack nods wordlessy, typing out what Sam’s told him to say. Sam gets up from the bed and goes to his dresser, digging through the shirts in the bottom drawer to a shoebox hidden beneath them. Inside is his stash of toys, including the one he’s after now. He pulls out the fleshlight and some lube and carries it back to the bed.

“Wh… what’s that?” Jack groans, looking at the items in Sam’s hands.

“This is called a fleshlight,” Sam holds up the toy so Jack can see the silicone mold on the end that looks like a pussy. “You use it on your cock, like it’s a girl, and you fuck into it.”

“It, mmm,” Jack moans, air squeezing tightly through his throat when his fingers catch clumsily on the head of his dick while he’s not paying attention, “it will feel like sex? Like, real sex?”

“Close as you can get without a girl here,” Sam chuckles darkly, drizzling lube into the crevice of the toy. “C’mere Jack, stand up.” Sam sits on the bed and takes Jack’s phone while he stands and struggles out of his sweatpants.

“What are you saying?” Jack asks when he notices Sam sending another text.

“I’m asking if she’s alone, and telling her to go somewhere quiet,” Sam smirks. “Take this off too,” he tugs at the hem of Jack’s shirt, and Jack pulls it off so he’s naked in front of Sam.

Sam reaches forward and touches Jack’s cock gently, making the excuse mentally that he’s just making sure Jack is lubed up enough to use the toy, but he takes a moment to lose himself in the feel of him on his palm. The text tone pulls him out of his thoughts.

Y/N: I’m all alone, no one here

Y/N: what do you want me to do

Sam smiles, that’s exactly what he wanted to hear. He holds the phone out to Jack.

“Call her,” he instructs simply. Jack blanches.

“What?”

“Call her,” Sam repeats. “You know the way I talk to you when you touch yourself, that’s how I want you to talk to her. And while you do, you’re gonna fuck this fleshlight, and pretend you’re fucking Y/N.”

Sam runs his hands along Jack’s cock again, jerking it lightly, and pulling the boy in a little closer. Jack looks nervously at the phone in his hand.

“I’ll be right here to help if you get nervous baby boy, it’s okay,” Sam reassures him, pressing the toy lightly against the tip of his cock.

Jack presses call.

“Put it on speakerphone,” Sam tells him, and Jack nods obediently.

“Jack?” Y/N picks up the phone quickly. Her voice is breathless, strained, and Sam can tell she’s been touching herself.

“Y/N,” Jack sighs happily, his face lighting up when he hears her voice. “Oh my god,” he moans a split second later, because Sam starts pushing the fleshlight down his cock, sucking him into the tight, wet space. Y/N moans on the other side of the phone.

“Fuck, Jack, you sound so sexy,” she whimpers.

Fuck, she sounds sexy, Sam thinks. He takes a moment to rearrange himself in his jeans so he can see this through with a clear head.

“Are– are you touching yourself?” Jack asks shakily, fucking his hips shallowly into the toy, into Sam’s hands.

“Ever since you sent me that first photo,” she admits, voice pitching strangely when her breath runs out mid sentence. “Made me so wet, thinking about you getting hard to that picture of me.”

“You’re so beautiful,” Jack moans, hips jerking in response to her words.

Sam reaches forward and pinches Jack’s hip to get his attention, he points at the fleshlight and then at the phone, hoping Jack gets the message. “I– I’m touching myself too. You made me so hard, I couldn’t help it. I’ve uh, I’ve got this toy,” he grunts and takes a deep breath.

“Yeah?” Y/N asks, clearly intrigued. “What kind of toy?”

“A, um, a fleshlight,” Jack goes bright red when he says the word, and Sam thinks it’s one of the prettiest things he’s ever seen. “I wish, wish it wasn’t a toy,” Jack stutters. “Wish it was you.”

“Fuck, me too,” Y/N whines, voice high and thin, desperation bleeding through.

“Yeah? You want me inside you?” Jack asks.

Sam shudders. He looks down, watching Jack fuck in and out of the toy. He pinches Jack’s hip again and mouths ‘faster’. He pumps the fleshlight a few times, encouraging Jack to speed up, and he takes the hint, but loses his balance a little and falls forward, catching himself on Sam’s shoulders. Sam grits his teeth, unbelievably turned on by Jack fucking the toy in his hands while he braces his forehead against Sam’s neck, moaning down the phone to his little girlfriend.

“God, yes, Jack,” she answers, and Sam thinks he can hear something else in the background. Buzzing. “I got a toy too. Needed something inside me, until I can have you.” Fuck this girl can really talk, Sam thinks. He’d like to give her something to fill that wet little hole with. “Are you close Jack? I’m really fucking close,” Y/N whimpers.

“Oh god, so close, Y/N,” Jack breathes down the phone, and Sam knows he’s telling the truth. His hips are flying in and out of the toy in his hands, its wet slapping sound filling the room. “Cum, cum with me, yeah?” he moans, and Sam has to fight down a groan of his own.

“Yeah, oh fuck, yes! Gonna cum, gonna…”

“Cum for me baby girl, c’mon,” Jack grunts, hips thrusting sharply, until he finishes with a strangled groan, biting down on Sam’s shoulder to muffle the sound. Y/N’s own whimpers are still bleeding through the receiver.

When Jack pulls out of the fleshlight, he groans, and Y/N laughs. The conversation is surprisingly easy and un-awkward between them, for someone as nervous as Jack usually is. Sam’s glad he’s found someone he can talk to. Jack cleans himself up quickly after he says goodbye to Y/N, and he tries to leave the room quickly but not before Sam catches him to ask:

“Baby girl, huh?” It’s mostly teasing, he tries to smile, but part of him is also trying to probe just how serious Jack is about this girl.

“Well,” Jack shrugs, mildly embarrassed if the colour of his cheeks is anything to go by. “I like it when you call me baby boy, so…” he leaves the statement hanging, and Sam feels his heart clench.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Jack nods, smiling sheepishly up at Sam.

“I like it too baby boy,” Sam smiles, and gives Jack a gentle kiss, before he ushers him out of the room.

Alone again, Sam quickly sheds his own clothes and returns to his bed. He pulls out the lube and slicks himself up in his hand, jerking rough and fast to alleviate some of the desperation he’s been feeling.

His phone is on the nightstand, and he grabs it and opens the new messages, going straight to the photos of Y/N and Jack he’d sent himself. Keeping the photos in view, Sam reaches for the fleshlight with his free hand and shoves inside. He can feel Jack’s cum, warm and sticky, lining the inside of the toy. He barely lasts thirty seconds before his own load joins Jack’s.

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[writethelifeyouwant]

Prima Nocta

Summary: Sam and Jack have received Dean’s permission to be mated, but at the ceremony he gives his younger brother one final condition on his matrimony: Dean wishes to invoke the ancient right of Prima Nocta.

Pairing: Alpha!Sam x Hybrid!Jack / Alpha!Dean x Hybrid!Jack Rating: 18+ Warnings: Dubious Consent, Coercion Tags: Medieval AU, Omegaverse, Wedding Night, Virgin!Jack, Virgin!Sam, Lord!Dean, Knight!Sam, Peasant!Jack, Alpha!Sam, Alpha!Dean, Hybrid!Jack, Dark!Dean, Dean is a Grade A Asshole, Age Difference (Jack is 18), Humiliation/Degradation Kink, Exhibitionism/Voyeurism, Loss of Virginity, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Oral Sex Word Count: 3,510

Created for: @spnkinkbingo - Omegaverse | @spnabobingo - Marriage of Convenience | @anyfandomgoesbingo - Wedding Night | @winklinebingo - Mediaeval AU | @j3bingo - Hybrid | @samwinchesterbingo - First Time / Virginity | @spndeanbingo - Fuck or Die

Sam splashed his face with cold water from the basin by the window. His servant handed him a cloth to dry off with, the rough spun fabric scraping over the few days old stubble still gracing his cheeks. He briefly contemplated shaving, but then recalled how young Jack had told him he liked the short beard when they’d spoken the day before. If his future husband found it pleasing, then he would leave it.

He knew his older brother would have some jape for him, would be astounded that he’d want to look so unkempt for his wedding day, but it wasn’t Dean’s opinion that mattered anymore. Once he was married, Sam would be out from beneath his brother’s roof and rule, and he could finally inherit the small estate his father had bequeathed him upon his death. His sole condition had been that Sam must not take up possession of the property until he’d married and mated a suitable omega.

That had been an issue until very recently, because none of the high born families in a reasonable vicinity had produced an omega for generations. Dean’s omega, Delphine, had ridden for days to reach their modest stronghold – no one would put in such effort for a second born son like Sam, only a mere knight, and not a great lord like his brother.

Sam had looked to the villages next, not particularly discerning about his future partner’s blood lineage, especially as Delphine had already produced Dean an heir for their family’s titles and holdings. But his search had proved unyielding in its first instance, the peasants on their estate being mostly betas, with the odd alpha and omega already coupled up, which was of no use to Sam, unless he wanted to challenge another alpha to a duel for their mate, and none of the available omegas were so comely as to tempt him down that path.

Then last week whilst drinking in the village tavern, Sam met a young peasant boy, and something very peculiar happened. When he first entered the tavern, Sam had looked around to see who the newcomer was, but beyond noticing that it was an attractive young man, he hadn’t given it any further thought. Nothing stood out about him. Sam turned back to Adam and continued to indulge in their flagons. A moment later however, when the peasant approached the landlord in search of a pint of his own, he brushed against Sam’s back in error, and their whole worlds had shifted.

A new scent became apparent amidst the muted stink of the tavern, and Sam’s nose perked up, recognising something astonishing beneath the aromas of honey, goldenrod, and freshly churned butter: omega. Jack – which was the young man’s name – had been just as shocked as Sam upon sensing the change to his constitution, having lived his whole life up until that moment believing that he was a beta.

Hybrids, as Jack turned out to be, were even more rare than omegas. He had the ability to shift his presentation at will, and meeting Sam had been the catalyst for his first transformation. He had shifted to omega because Sam’s alpha instincts had sensed the presence of a potential mate. After a brief negotiation with Jack’s mother, Sam had secured the promise of Jack as his mate, therefore finally gaining the right to his own inheritance.

Today was the day that Dean, as their Lord, would seal their bond and proclaim their mating sanctioned, after which Sam fully intended to carry his new omega off to their new home and ravage him until he was growing round with child. The ravaging likely wouldn’t cease once Jack was quickening, though. Sam had never lain with an omega, nor anyone else for that matter, but based on his elder brother’s indecorously vivid descriptions of the act, he imagined that once he got a taste, he would never want to stop.

Sam knelt in his best red tunic at the top of the hall. Dean stood two steps above him on the raised dais that held the high family’s table. The lighthearted strumming of a lute filled the hall as the sound of the heavy iron door at the opposite end swinging open echoed piercingly in the grey stone chamber. Sam could sense as soon as Jack entered the room, bringing his warm, sunny, and submissive scent with him. He wondered if it smelt even stronger today because he knew he was about to make the boy his own.

Jack was escorted to Sam’s side by his mother, who placed one of his small and delicate hands into Dean’s outstretched palm, and with heavy ceremony, Dean transferred Jack’s hand into Sam’s. He spoke the affirming words, transferring the care and ownership of Jack from his family to Sam, as his new lord and master. The ceremony was traditional for all mating pairs, not just for alphas joining with omegas, but the language was particularly apt in the given circumstances.

The feast and revelries that followed the mating ceremony were unexpectedly arduous for Sam, who was usually one to enjoy a fine meal and strong wine, but tonight all he could think of was carrying his mate to bed and knotting him into the mattress. He had a notion that Jack may have felt the same way, because the boy kept glancing at him shyly throughout the evening, his pale skin flushing a delicious apple pink every time Sam caught him looking.

As the night finally drew to its conclusion, Dean called for the attention of the merrymakers, raising his goblet in the traditional toast to the newly mated couple. In truth, Sam’s ears had filled with an excited humming that drowned out the majority of his brother’s clichéd well wishes, and it was only when Dean clapped him firmly on the back that Sam’s attention jolted away from his fantasies of tearing the sky blue linen tunic off of Jack’s body the very instant they were alone in his chambers.

“I know my younger brother, Sir Samuel–”

Sam rolled his eyes, Dean had always mocked him for his lesser title and his status as a second son.

“–will make a fine mate for young Jack. Although…” Dean paused for dramatic effect, surveying the room that held almost everyone their family knew, relatives and villagers alike. “I have one very important condition that must be met before these two can officially be joined.” Dean wiggled his eyebrows at Sam on the word ‘officially’ and Sam scoffed at his brother’s immaturity.

The eldest brother reached for his belt and withdrew his short iron dagger, its edge darkened and sharp. Sam let out a huff of breath, unamused. Here come the beard jokes, he thought wryly. It had been foolish of him to believe that Dean could make it through the entire night without mocking his little brother’s appearance. He wondered if Dean would try to shave him right here at the table.

However, Dean didn’t turn his dagger on Sam but faced towards Jack, and plunging the knife into the table before the boy, he proclaimed:

“As your liege Lord, I, Dean Winchester, hereby declare my intention to undertake the Lord’s right to Prima Nocta!”

“Dean what the hell?!” Sam railed against his brother as Jack sat on the edge of the Lord’s bed, cowering in fear.

They were in Dean’s chambers, the grandest and largest in the manor. His bed was deep walnut, with intricately carved pillars spiralling up towards the immensely high ceiling, crowned with an elegant canopy of crushed velvets and woven silks. The covers on the feather mattress were of the same costly fabrics. Jack had never been near so much wealth and luxury in all his eighteen years. But it didn’t make him more comfortable, it made him feel ever more out of place than he had expected.

Of course, Jack had never expected this.

No one would have dreamt that Dean would claim his right to Prima Nocta. Jack had forgotten about the custom entirely; it was something out of the stories his mother had told him as a small child, not something that happened anymore. Clearly, Sam hadn’t anticipated his brother’s actions either. That gave the boy some small measure of comfort: his new mate hadn’t agreed to share him with his brother like a possession that could be passed between the two of them on a whim. Jack had heard stories about that sort of thing happening to omegas, too.

“Sam, please, you’ll make yourself look ridiculous in front of your little bride,” Dean scoffed, malice and mirth twinkling behind his forest green eyes. Jack had thought they were beautiful the first time he saw them, but now they seemed cold and cruel. His cheeks flushed in angry embarrassment at Dean’s comment, ashamed to be thought so little of, and Dean noticed the young boy’s reaction.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I offend your poor omega sensibilities?” Dean chided in evident amusement, and Jack growled, feeling himself shift defensively to his beta state. The tension in the air tangibly thickened. “That’s right, I forgot, Sammy went and got himself a little freak for a mate. He’s not even a real omega,” the lord scoffed, shooting Sam a disparaging look.

Jack trembled on the bed, eyes flicking to Sam, begging for some kind of help or reprieve. He didn’t understand why Sam wasn’t fighting back: he was an alpha the same as his lordly brother, and he was a knight – he was more than capable. But then the candle by the bed spat and the flame sputtered, and in he interrupted light Jack understood. Dean had his dagger held subtly in his left hand, pointing towards Sam with obvious warning.

Sam couldn’t do anything to stop his brother taking what he wanted without bloodshed. It was Dean’s right, after all, as Lord, to claim what he had. Jack couldn’t ask Sam to harm his family when they hadn’t even done anything wrong, technically. Dean may be morally reprehensible in their eyes, but in the eyes of the law, he was merely exercising one of the many rights afforded to him by his blood and title.

“Now,” Dean shifted his stern gaze between Sam and Jack intermittently as he spoke, “are we going to behave like big boys and get through this with some fucking dignity, or are you going to force my hand?”

The knife flashed in the shimmering candlelight once more, and Jack swallowed nervously, looking to Sam for guidance. The knight looked back at him with a thousand apologies in his eyes, but Jack didn’t need to hear them. He knew this wasn’t Sam’s fault, and he didn’t want to make this any more difficult on his new mate than it already was by fighting against his fate. Trembling, he slipped from the silken covers to the cold stone floor, a chill running through his bones as he sank to his knees.

“I submit to your will, milord,” Jack murmured, keeping his eyes downcast. He was too ashamed to see what Sam would think of him.

“Good boy,” Dean crowed happily, and Jack felt soft fingers run through his hair condescendingly, as if Dean was stroking some pet.

“Dean, please,” Jack heard Sam beg, his voice pregnant with near hysteria. “Don’t do this,” he pleaded, but Dean merely laughed.

“Too late for that, little brother. I proclaimed my intentions before everyone we know, they would never respect me if I backed down because you asked me to,” Dean sighed. “Even if you do sound real pretty, begging me like that.”

Dean’s fingers lodged beneath his chin, tilting it skywards, and Jack felt his stomach lurch. The man grinned down at him with evident hunger and pulled the boy to his feet.

“Are you ready to be a good little omega again, and let me show my brother the proper way to put sluts like your kind in their place?” the lord hissed, his fingers pinching Jack’s skin painfully, and he nodded, wincing. After a few deep breaths, Jack felt his constitution morph back to his omega state. “Good boy,” Dean cooed again, evidently able to tell the difference via scenting him.

“Now, watch and learn, Sammy,” Dean shot a grin over his shoulder to where Sam was standing, stoically silent, against the tapestry covered wall.

Jack flinched as Dean tore the seams of his new tunic, leaving it to drop limply at his feet, before he unlaced his own and pulled it over his head, revealing a body tanned and toned from fighting, but still soft from indulgence in the luxuries that came with wealth. He wondered if this would be easier if he let himself admit that he found Dean attractive, or if that only made the situation even more shameful. But whether he admitted it or not, his body found Dean attractive, liked the way he was running his soft fingertips over his naked chest towards the tie that was keeping up his hose and braies. With one quick tug the garments came loose from his thin frame and fell to the floor, exposing his nakedness to his mate’s elder brother, while his own alpha watched on helplessly.

The lord jerked his head in the direction of the bed, and Jack crawled obediently across the feather mattress and shimmering silks to kneel on all fours by the velveteen pillows at the top. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw Sam’s hand twitch, but then his alpha was still once more.

“Look at this submissive bitch, Sammy,” Dean laughed jubilantly, walking into Jack’s eyeline now completely nude; his manhood pointing proudly up between his legs was nearly the length of the dagger and its hilt combined. The boy whimpered at the sight, clenching reflexively at the thought of being penetrated by that. Despite the anxiety its size caused him, it still wasn’t an unpleasant thought. “Wonder if he’s leaking yet,” the lord fixed his younger brother with an arrogant smirk.

“Dean, shut up and fucking do it already,” Sam snapped, his turmoil evident in the painful strain to his tone. Watching his brother take such pleasure in degrading Jack was torturing the poor knight.

“S-sam.” To his mortification, Jack found his voice was weak and shaky, but it wasn’t with fear – it was arousal. He was leaking slick profusely, just as Dean had predicted he would. Something about the utter humiliation of the incident was affecting Jack in ways he’d never imagined were possible. His mate’s eyes snapped to him instantly upon hearing his name, and Jack flinched when he saw the pain in Sam’s expression. He had to make Sam feel better, somehow; his alpha was hurting and it was because of him.

“Can Sam come here, please?” Jack asked submissively, directing his question to Dean this time, hoping that if they played by the rules, their lord would be more lenient.

“Please, what?” Dean cupped a hand to his ear mockingly, reaching down and beginning to stroke his cock while his gaze devoured the omega waiting dutifully for him on his bed. Jack swallowed hard, trying to choke down his whimper of arousal at seeing Dean touch himself.

“Please, Alpha,” Jack blushed in shame, dropping his head between his shoulders and squeezing his eyes tightly shut. “Please can Sam come be with me, while… while you…” he tapered off, unable to give words to the acts of depravity he was sure were about to occur between the two of them.

“I think that’s an excellent idea,” Dean agreed, a dark humour in his tone. “Sammy needs an up close and personal lesson on how to fuck an omega so good they’re begging you to never stop.” He crouched down beside the bed and turned Jack’s face towards him, forcing his eyes open so the boy had to look at him. “See, Sammy’s a virgin,” Dean whispered conspiratorially, but clearly still loud enough for Sam to hear. “He isn’t gonna know how to treat you like you deserve.”

A cool hand skirted up the tender flesh of Jack’s thigh, fingertips dragging themselves through the cleft of his backside and gathering the evidence of the boy’s arousal. He moaned, deep and long and uncontrollably when Dean pushed a finger inside him, the lubrication making its entrance more than easy. After only a handful of thrusts, Dean added another, and Jack mewled – pathetic, even to his own ears.

“So needy,” Dean whispered, as if it was praise. But then he withdrew both his fingers and struck Jack harshly, sending a stinging burn through the lower half of his body. “Needy little omegas like you only deserve one thing: a cock in your ass and cum in your belly.”

Dean spanked him again and Jack cried out in pain, bracing his head against his forearms. Sam finally came unfrozen and rushed to his side, kneeling on the floor and reaching out to take the boy’s hand.

“It’s okay, Jack,” Sam tried to soothe him, but his voice was clearly choked with emotion. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, close enough that only Jack would hear the private words.

“No,” Jack shook his head vehemently. “No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Alpha.” His next cry melted into a moan as Dean landed several more harsh slaps on his ass and thighs, each one hurting more than the last, and each one sending a fresh wave of pleasure straight between his legs.

“Little needy bitch,” Dean spat at Jack’s hole, needlessly considering how much slick was already dripping out of the omega, and plunged three fingers in this time, making Jack wail in obvious pleasure as the older man began to fuck him mercilessly on his hand. “Just begging to be mounted, isn’ he Sammy? Think I should give your little slut what he wants?”

Jack looked at Sam, tears of embarrassment beginning to leak out of his eyes from just how desperate he was, and without exchanging words, Jack knew that Sam understood his plea. Say yes.

Sam felt his eyes widen in shocked comprehension as he searched Jack’s expression. Yes, there was pain there, but that was becoming harder and harder to discern amidst the obvious pleasure that was written over every line of his delicate skin; usually near translucence, but now blushing brightly with life, vigour, and ecstasy. He’d been forced into this by Dean’s greed, and submitted to it in deference to the law, but Sam saw in his face that even if those reasons evaporated in this instant, Jack was in too deep. He wanted this now; maybe even wanted it because he’d been forced into it.

At that astounding realisation Sam felt a latch in his chest release, setting free a rush of sensations he’d been stopping himself from feeling. His cock filled quickly as the blood that had been pumping through his heart in anger and hatred immediately drained south to fulfil a more pressing ambition. He could slit his brother’s throat another time; pleasing his new mate was far more important, and seeing him perched submissively atop the bed, naked and leaking, was too much for Sam’s alpha instincts to resist.

“Make it fucking fast,” Sam grunted, finally answering Dean’s question. “Because I intend to knot my omega on my wedding night, brother,” he growled the appellation, hoping to emphasise how much Dean was not acting concordantly with that familial title. Jack whined again, and Sam looked down to see if he was hurt, but Dean wasn’t touching him. He realised that his words had caused the boy to whimper like that: he liked how possessive Sam had been. Well, that was something he would happily work with.

“You want my big brother to fuck you, Jack?” Sam asked gently, brushing the damp hair from his omega’s face. “Should I let Dean knot what’s mine? Would that make you feel good, baby?”

Jack nodded, red rimmed eyes brimming with fresh tears of desperate want.

“Yes, Alpha, please,” he breathed, the air catching in his throat. “Need him inside me, Alpha, please… please,” Jack begged, and Sam felt his cock throb in response to how needy his omega was.

“Okay baby,” Sam smirked, “just promise me one thing, okay?” Jack nodded before he even knew what he was agreeing to, making his alpha grin. He leant down to whisper in the boy’s ear, his words only for Jack: “You promise to be just as pathetic when you beg for my knot next, okay ‘mega?”

“Oh God, Alpha, yes!” Jack moaned loudly, his back arching wantonly as Dean lined his cock up with Jack’s hole. Sam watched from the corner of his eye as Dean teased the omega before starting to slowly push himself in, spearing the keening boy on his flesh.

“Good boy,” Sam whispered, tilting Jack’s head up to look him in the eye. “Take it like a good little slut for him baby, and we’ll take care of you too. I promise.”

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[writethelifeyouwant]

Told You So

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Jack Kline 

Rating: 18+

Tags: sex toys, dom/sub, wrist restraints, coming untouched, dirty talk, slut shaming, choking, cum eating

Word Count: 2.3k 

Summary: Jack doesn’t believe that Sam can make him come without touching his dick. 

Created for: @winklinebingo - Sex Toys | @spnrareshipbingo - Jack / Sam | @spnkinkbingo - Coming Untouched

Dividers: @firefly-graphics

Jack shivers as Sam’s fingers trail over his shoulder, tracing down his arm, the feeling somehow amplified through the cotton of his jacket catching on the hairs standing up from his skin. 

“How you feeling, kid?” Dean asks through a gulp of beer. “You look a little–” he waves his hand around in front of his face, indicating that he’s noticed the flushed, far off look Jack must have going on right about now. 

“I’m fine, Dean,” Jack swallows, aiming for a grin but only achieving a grimace, and jumping slightly when Sam’s fingers connect with his under the war-table. 

“Dean’s right, Jack,” Sam cuts in, leaning forward under the pretense of looking closer at Jack to check he’s alright, but actually creeping his hand further up the boy’s thigh. “You sure you’re okay, you do look a little…” Sam trails off, smirking when he sees Dean isn’t looking at them, “worked up.” 

Jack wants to scoff in Sam’s face, but that would be impolite. Of course, he’s fucking worked up right now. He’s had a small remote control toy buzzing against his prostate for the past twenty minutes. It had felt so unbelievable at first, like he could have come in about 30 seconds if Sam had told him he was allowed to, but then Sam had dropped the speed down to its lowest setting, and the unrelenting buzz had dulled into just about manageable — just about ignorable — unless he shifts even an inch, and then the pleasure pulses through his limbs and send even more blood rushing to his crotch. Honestly, he’s surprised there’s enough blood left in the top half of his body for his face to be blushing at all. It feels like every drop of blood in his body has pushed itself into his cock, it feels so hard and full, and like it could burst at any second. 

“I’m fine, S–” Jack squeaks when Sam’s long, sinful  fingers curl around the bulge in his pants and the speed of the vibrator jumps up a notch simultaneously. 

“No, I think you should go lay down.” Sam’s face is the picture of fatherly concern and sage advice, the dickhead. “You don’t want to get caught with your pants down during a hunt if you’re coming over with something.” 

“I’ll be coming over something,” Jack mumbles to himself, hating Sam and his fucking teasing. 

“Huhm?” Dean grunts, only half paying attention on the other side of the table, where his burger is much more interesting than Jack maybe having a cold. 

“I am going to go lay down,” Jack announces as he springs out of his chair abruptly, disguising the gasp he’d just let slip when Sam turned the toy up another notch, with the sound of the chair grating against the concrete floors as he pushed out of his seat. He carefully angles his body behind Sam’s chair, so as not to display his hard on and the wet spot he’d been steadily growing on the front of his jeans for the past half hour.  

“I’ll come check on you in a bit, buddy,” Sam squeezes Jack’s bicep, pressing right over a bruise he’d left there the night before, knowing he was tormenting Jack even more by reminding him of the claiming mark he’d bitten into his skin. Reminding him ‘you’re mine, you and your body and your pleasure— They. Are. Mine.’ 

Jack could barely choke down his whimper at Sam’s touch, the soreness of his bruise recalling the delicious soreness he still felt between his legs – an ache that was being accentuated by the now rhythmic vibrating of the small toy inside of him. The pattern beat against the nerves inside him maddeningly. Just as the vibrations grew to a strength that might be able to tip him over the edge into relief they disappeared, leaving the toy still and silent for a moment before starting the torture over again. 

Inside his room, Jack collapsed to his knees at the foot of the bed, relishing in the moan he could finally let loose now he was alone. The toy inside him pressed just below the sweet spot inside of him in this position, and he let himself relax and settle into it. He knew that Sam would make him wait for a bit, make him sweat and squirm. Sometimes this was the best part. When he was all alone, only kept company by his own desperate thoughts – this was when Jack realised just how much of a slut he really was. 

Sure, Sam told him he was all the time. When he was on his knees with Sam’s cock down his throat, or when Sam pressed him against the back of the Impala and made him grind against that thick, muscular, hunter’s thigh until he came in his pants, or when Sam caught him jerking off in the shower only a few hours after Sam had fucked him into the mattress, or when Sam noticed his inappropriate boner during a case and told him to go wait for him in the police station bathroom, where Sam promptly handcuffed him and ate him out until he came without being touched. Jack was most definitely a slut, and he knew it. But here, in the cold fluorescent light of his bunker bedroom, knees going numb on the concrete beneath him, and sweat dripping beneath the collar of his t-shirt – this is where he felt the humiliation most keenly. 

The fact that Jack wasn’t just a slut for Sam, wasn’t just doing all those dirty things because he was being told to, but would sit here and torture himself willingly, was the thing that made Jack feel the dirtiest he ever did. Of course, Sam knew what Jack was thinking, that he loved his time alone spent contemplating just how much of a fucking whore he really was, and Sam loved how desperate it made Jack when he did finally join him again. 

“There’s a good boy,” Jack hears Sam murmur as he steps into the room, the vibrations in the plug jumping down to its lowest, thrumming level. Jack lets out a shaky sigh, but keeps his position on his knees, back straight, waiting for Sam to give him his instructions. Sam brushes his hand over the back of the boy’s head as he moves around his kneeling form to sit on the foot of the bed, carefully placing the toy’s remote control on the blanket next to him. He reaches out a hand to rest on Jack’s cheek, the big fingers nearly engulfing his face, and Jack has to fight his instincts to sit straight instead of leaning into the touch. “How you doing?” Sam asks, voice heavy with sympathy. 

“Good,” Jack pants, hoping he sounds convincing, but knowing Sam will see through him in a heartbeat. 

“You still look pretty flushed to me,” Sam muses, brushing a stray hair off Jack’s forehead. “Maybe you should lay down, get yourself out of these clothes into something more… comfortable.” Jack closes his eyes and whimpers, nodding, he wants that so badly. “Okay, if I let you lay down, the vibrations on your toy are gonna go back up again. Can you handle that?” 

Jack nods again, furiously. “Yes, Sam, please.” 

“Okay, c’mon, up you get.” Sam pulls Jack up by his wrists and starts to peel the boy’s jacket off. Jack lets Sam manipulate him out of his clothes, shivering in the cool of the air as the layers are dropped by his feet. When he’s been stripped bare, Sam pulls him onto the bed, guiding his hands to the restraints they keep attached to each corner of the headboard and buckles him in. The bruises on Jack’s arms and shoulders stand out against his pale skin, which is shimmering with the sweat of his earlier exertions. Sam’s fingers trace over the marks and down Jack’s chest, around each pink nipple, standing erect in the cool air of the bedroom, down his stomach to the soft trail of hair below his belly button, avoiding the angry pink cock currently twitching against the sharp jut of his hip bone. Jack had done so well keeping quiet while Sam laid him out the way he wanted him, but under the man’s taunting touch, he can’t keep his whines in his throat any more. 

“Please, Sam,” Jack mewls, bucking his hips into the air, hoping to push Sam’s fingers against his cock where he wants them. 

“Tch, tch, tch,” Sam tuts, unimpressed. “I told you, baby boy, no one is going to be touching that cock tonight.” Sam’s smirk is infuriating. 

“Sam,” Jack whines again, “I really need to cum. Please. I’ll –” he pants, grasping for words “I’ll let you do whatever you want to me, just let me cum. Please, Sam, please.” 

“I didn’t tell you you couldn’t cum baby,” Sam sits on the bed, picking up the remote and turning up the pace, like he’d threatened. “You can cum whenever you want to. I just said you can’t touch yourself to make it happen.” Jack whines petulantly, making Sam laugh, and he switches the pattern of the vibrations in the boy’s plug again. 

“But I’ll never cum like this Sam,” Jack complains, struggling against his restraints, and Sam is glad he had the foresight to lock him down. 

“Oh, really?” Sam ups the intensity of the vibrations and Jack arches off the bed, moaning. “You don’t think a little slut like you can cum just from a little toy up their ass? Don’t think you’re desperate enough?” He changes the pattern to something quicker - sharper - and Jack hisses. “If you were a good little whore, you wouldn’t need anyone to touch that little cock, you’d cum when I tell you to, heh? But…” Sam stands, twirling the remote in his palm, “if you don’t think you can, I’ll just –” he clicks the ‘off’ button on the plug, and Jack lets out the most pathetic whimper yet, instantly missing the pleasure that had been coursing through him for the past hour. 

“No! Sam, no, I’m sorry, please. Please let me cum,” Jack begs, squirming in his restraints. 

“I told you, I wasn’t stopping you,” Sam smirks wickedly. 

“Please,” Jack is almost crying, Sam can see the tears shimmering in his eyes. 

“If I turn this back on, are you going to be a good boy, and do what I tell you?” 

“Yes, I promise, please, Sam, please, turn it back on. I need to cum, please.” Sam walks back to the bed, stroking Jack’s cheek tenderly, victory glowing in his eyes. 

“So pretty when you beg, baby boy,” Sam coos, and Jack nuzzles into his touch. When Sam turns the toy back on, Jack jumps, twisting his head to whimper into his pillow. “Nope, don’t you dare,” Sam grins and yanks on Jack’s hair, pulling his face up. “Don’t hide those noises from me, baby. Wanna hear how much of a little slut you are for me. Want you to get as loud as you can for me, let Dean hear how desperate you are, yeah? You my needy little whore, baby?”

“Yes!” Jack whines, the intensity of the toy ratcheting up, the increased speed pressing it harder against the spot inside of him that is starting to burn. 

“Want to hear you say it,” Sam’s voice has hardened, and he drags his hand down Jack’s face to his throat, his fingers easily wrapping most of the way around. 

“I’m a slut, a needy little slut, fuck, just need to cum, Sam, please,” Jack groans desperately. 

“Yeah? Needy little slut needs to cum?” Sam teases, squeezing against the veins on either side of the boy’s neck, working to make him light-headed, while also turning the toy up another setting. “Why don’t you do it then, baby boy? Cum for me real loud, want you screamin’,” Sam is panting now too, his own arousal barely being held in check as he torments Jack – it will be his turn soon. 

“Please,” Jack is crying now, hips humping down into nothing, looking for resistance that won’t come. He looks pathetic, and Sam loves it. 

“I told you” —Sam’s chest heaves and he turns the toy up to its highest setting, leaning over Jack’s face and squeezing around his fragile little throat— “to cum, you little slut.” He spits into Jack’s mouth, which is frozen open in pleasure. 

“Oh, fuck, God, ah–” Jack’s words trail off into unintelligible noises as his hips launch off the bed and he cums in sharp bursts, the shiny white liquid splashing up his chest, onto his face and lips, and Sam’s hand. Sam is panting nearly as hard as Jack as he watches the boy spurt cum all over himself, he’s always loved when he can make Jack lose control this completely. 

“That’s a good boy,” Sam huffs, trying to get himself under control long enough to finish taking care of Jack. “Told you so, didn’t I?” he smirks. Jack whimpers in acknowledgement, but he isn’t quite recovered enough for words yet. Sam lets go of his throat and examines the cum shining on his knuckles. “You didn’t believe me, did you?” 

“I’m sorry,” Jack whimpers tiredly, slumping back against his pillows. 

“You believe me now?” Sam checks, and Jack doesn’t see the mischievous glint in Sam’s eyes because his own are still closed while he nods. Sam runs his fingers along Jack’s chest to collect the cum still glistening against the creamy, pale skin, pushing the dirty fingers between Jack’s lips when they’ve gathered everything they can. Jack’s eyes open wide in shock, but he sucks Sam down eagerly, confused – but still craving his approval. “In case you needed proof,” Sam chuckles, letting Jack suckle on his fingers and clean every last drop of his own cum from Sam’s skin.

“I still get to touch you though, right?” Jack checks anxiously, looking at the impressive bulge that Sam has started to free from his jeans. 

“You fuckin’ better,” Sam growls, shedding his jeans and briefs and climbing onto the bed to straddle Jack’s chest. “Open up, baby.”

Tags: @vulgar-library​ @tintentrinkerin​ @negans-lucille-tblr​ @fandomfic-galore​ @petitgateau911​ @whoreforackles​ @schaefchenherde​ @kickingitwithkirk​ @little-diable​ @laxe-chester67​ @kassyscarlett​ @sonofslaanesh69​ @stoneyggirl​ 

[winklinebingo]

WINKLINE BINGO UPDATE

Dear participants of Winkline Bingo, from now on WINKLINE BINGO has no DEADLINE anymore.

Just fill your squares and ask for a new card if you like!

If you hand in a masterlist, please SUBMIT THEM. Thank you.

[jackandthesoulmates]

WINKLINE BINGO MASTERLIST

[jackandthesoulmates]

My Winkline Bingo card ❤️

I wish I could black out more 👉👈

[jackandthesoulmates]

Innocence Lost

Author: jackandthesoulmates / tintentrinkerin

Title: Innocence Lost

Created for @winklinebingo

Squares filled: Teen Rebellion, Dating Apps, Virginity

Pairing: Winkline [SamJack], [dysfunctional] Destiel mention

Warnings: Attempted Non-Con

Additional tags: Identity Crisis, Sexuality Crisis, Roofies Mention, Canon Divergency, Original Characters, pan/demi Sam Winchester, Swearing

Word count: 15,691

COMPLETED [READ ON AO3]

Inspired by “Gods and Monsters” (Lana Del Rey)

I Was An Angel

She’s a pretty girl. She really is. 

Long curly, glossy hair and she always smells like flowers. Or cherries. Sometimes bubblegum. Jack is very sensitive to sweet smells and tastes and this girl is just a bouquet of the sugary and most flowery things. He likes smelling her and he likes her voice, it always sounds like she’s singing or telling a fairytale. She even has a princess name: Aurora. 

Her eyes remind him of Castiel, intense blue with yellow speckles. Jack has read some love poems before, by Shakespeare and Wilde and Rilke and he thought of this girl when he read them. She is love poem perfect.

But, look. Thing is, yes she’s cute, she’s stunning, she’s like a spring breeze and a lot of boys would probably sacrifice a hand to be with her. And Jack is her boyfriend. For about two weeks now. 

Jack has no idea how to do this whole relationship thing. He met her when he was about to go buy some bread and pie. He had gone out with his pajama shorts still on and he didn’t even notice. Aurora was behind him in line and when they both were done buying their groceries, she stopped him and whispered in his ear, “You’re still wearing your pajamas!”

The whole which-clothes-when issue was still new to him, that’s why he messed up. And he apologized to her, but she only laughed. And her laughter made him feel better. She made him feel better all around. 

Jack didn’t know much of the world. Of course, he already knew a lot. He knew about hunting and friendships, about family and good and evil. He had experienced a lot already.

In theory, he knew about love. He asked Dean about love and sex. The answers haven’t been all too satisfying and there was no intrinsic feeling, no urge for Jack to go out there and find love. Or sex. He’s found Aurora now, that sweet girl, that perfect girl. She liked him a lot, he knew it. Two weeks are enough to fall in love, it seems. 

Jack isn’t in love. He knows it. Love feels different. Dean and Castiel both have described for him what love feels like. Their wording has been totally different but it was clear they mean the same thing. And they love each other, despite their differing descriptions. 

Why is he with her then?, he asks himself a lot. Because she is nice? She is pretty? She makes him smile? She laughs with him, not at him.

To her, Jack is just a quirky shy boy. He’s not the Spawn of Satan, or a Nephilim, or a Time Bomb. He’s not a tool. Not a weapon. Not an abomination.

He’s just that kid living with these three middle aged weirdos who live in a bunker outside of Lebanon. She never judges. 

What is love then?

Jack has an answer to that. He feels butterflies in his stomach, but it took him a while to understand it was a figure of speech. There were no actual butterflies in his stomach. But it was a tingling, a pull, heart pounding in his chest. Sweating. Shaking. Becoming super dumb all of a sudden, because Jack would confuse words, form abstruse sentences and just completely messes it up. He feels all that. He has dreams about this person and his underwear is wet the next morning. He had googled it and it seems to be a normal thing to happen to boys. But he feels embarrassed every time and hates it when someone else does the laundry. He doesn’t want other people to touch his dirty laundry. He also daydreams about kisses, and hugs, and heavy breathing, of noises that sound like Jack’s in pain, but he clearly isn’t.

Sometimes he would stare at the wall for solid minutes before he snaps out of daydreaming or someone catches his attention. Either by door slamming, “Kid, you there?” or - what Dean likes to do - throwing chocolate bars at him. Jack has angel reflexes, nothing ever hits him. Dean knows it. 

Jack also has been exposed to “adult magazines” already. Dean seems to hide his magazines all over the bunker and it was just a matter of time til Jack found one and took a close, very close look. He was confused about the nudity first, he was told nudity is for showers, bedrooms and birth apparently. He’s been born naked and Sam told him, babies were born naked. And people got naked when they ‘made love’ but that was something Sam didn’t talk about. Jack had asked, but Sam denied telling him how one ‘makes’ love.

The nudity wasn’t the only thing Jack was astounded about. What these people did looked very, very peculiar. And Jack put the magazine back, when his body from belly button down felt tingly, hot and somehow itchy. Even his ‘down there’ started growing. It got hard. It confused him for a while but when his crotch grew soft, he felt relieved and never looked at something like this again.

Later he found out there was a way to make it go soft ‘down there’ again. He just needs to touch himself and what happens then is bombastic. And messy.

This feeling, love. Was he ‘making’ it? But according to Sam two people were needed to make love together. Feeling it all by his own couldn’t be the same then. Jack was confused. 

To add to his confusion, when he was at a case with Dean, Dean had talked about courting and ‘the sex’ and Dean has made fun of him when he came home two weeks ago and announced he had a girlfried. 

“Which base? First? Second?”

Sam gave Dean a scowl and a slight punch against the chest.

“Don’t listen to him, Jack. We’re happy for you.”

When he was in his room at night, he barely slept. As a half angel he didn’t need as much sleep as a human. And he knew that Castiel never sleeps. Sometimes they met in the library to talk and play chess or Go. On some other nights when Castiel wasn’t in the bunker or with Dean, Jack would just read whatever came in handy. They had a large library, but Jack was a fast reader and soon he had to download books to his eReader that Sam gave him for his first birthday. But also, this tiny piece of electronics didn’t have enough capacity to download all the books Jack would read in a week, that’s why he asked Sam for a new microSD card for his smartphone. Sam didn’t say no to Jack very often. Jack read Victor Hugo and Jean-Paul Sartre, also Marcel Proust and he had a great time reading Finnegans Wake and Ulysses. He wished James Joyce was still alive, because Jack wanted to tell him what a great and funny piece of literature he had written.

He asked Sam to summon James Joyce. 

Sam thought he was messing with him, then said ‘no’.

Jack doesn’t like it when people tell him ‘no’ and that makes it even harder now for him to say no to Aurora. 

It’s their second week and she’s so in love with him. Well, that's what she tells Jack. And he likes her pink lips, they look like flower petals and he wonders how they feel. 

Exactly what Aurora wants him to do, outside the waffle’s place. She wants to kiss him and she looks pretty, her closed eyes, a tiny raindrop caught in her long eyelashes and she smells of vanilla and there’s still powdered sugar on her chin. 

Jack backs away. Her pouty lips look nice and he wants to feel them. With his finger.

When she realizes Jack isn’t leaning in to kiss her, she opens her eyes. She looks hurt.

“Did I do something wrong?”, she asks. 

Jack feels incredibly bad about the situation and he doesn’t even know what to say. He can't explain why shies away from a kiss. 

He hasn’t been kissed ever before. And he thinks of someone else when he closes his eyes at night, hand under the cover, rubbing himself through the fabric of his pajamas.

“I’m sorry, I…I have never kissed someone before, I’m…I’m nervous.”

That isn't a lie, he tells himself. It’s not a lie. Lying is bad.

“Oh”, she mouths. A perfect O shape with her lips. 

“Are you mad at me, Aurora?”, he asks, feeling very bad and guilty. 

Jack hates disappointing people and he avoids it at every cost. Usually. But he can’t kiss her, it wouldn’t feel good. He knows, deep down it won’t feel good at all. It won’t be catastrophic, but kissing someone he doesn't like that way is wrong. Sam told him he shouldn’t be physical with people he doesn’t know well. Sam told him he should be physical with someone he really really likes and that more than just as a friend. 

Aurora feels like someone more than a friend, but there’s no nocturnal pining for her. That’s for someone else. That’s why he has to go home now, before he makes it even worse with Aurora.

“No, Jack, it’s okay, I didn’t know…I thought…I mean you said you’re 21, I kinda just thought you already have…you know, kissed someone. Or even more.”

Jack raises an eyebrow. 

“Even more?”

Aurora hides in her pastel pink scarf. 

“Yes, sex, you know?”

With a sigh, Jack looks away and he can feel his face start burning. He has no idea how to have sex, he doesn’t even know exactly what it should be. It was a part of relationships, like Dean and Castiel’s but…all Jack can think about in regards of ‘making love’ and kissing and sex was…Sam.

“I’m not experienced”, he replies, slightly trembling. “I never did it.”

-

Later in the bunker, Jack is sleepless. He would like to sleep this time, because he feels exhausted and hurt. There’s something Aurora said. She said, if he kept people at distance he would never experience love and sex. Even a kiss was a problem already. This view on things was very weird to him. He doesn’t have a problem with kissing or finding out what love is. He just doesn’t want to kiss her. It feels wrong.

She didn’t text him since they departed on unknown terms.

And another thing creeps in his mind. Maybe the problem is that he doesn’t just not like Aurora, maybe he doesn’t like girls at all? And Sam is a man. Maybe he likes men, like Dean does? Dean often talked about women, he seems to like both. Men and women. And Castiel doesn’t even raise a brow when Dean talks about ‘casual sexual encounters’ how Castiel calls them. It’s still unknown territory for Jack. 

There are people who like girls, there are people who like men and people who like both…and what if their body doesn’t matter at all?

Jack doesn’t know where the difference should be, except that a man looks different from a woman. 

The whole sex thing is driving him up the walls. 

He gets up, puts his slippers on and goes to the library. Dean is there, a bottle of whisky in front of him. He doesn’t look deadly drunk, but drunk enough. Sometimes Jack is afraid of Dean when he had too much of this stuff. He can be very mean, aggressive and violent. 

Jack braces himself and joins him at the table. Dean looks up. His green eyes are glassy and his face is red. 

“Can’t sleep, kiddo?”, he asks, wrapping his gown tighter. 

Jack nods.

“No. I was naughty. And now I’m upset.”

Dean’s head jerks up, now Jack has his full attention. The smirk gives it away, Dean will make fun of him for sure.

“Naughty? As in, you finally did sweet lovin’ to her or?”

Jack shakes his eyes, frowning. 

“Now, she wanted to kiss me but I didn’t want to.”

He sighs, sinks back in the chair, looking at the ceiling. There’s silence, Dean just chugs down the rest of the whisky, but he has another already on hand and opens it.

“Need a sip?”

His first instinct is to say ‘no’, but then he agrees and takes a drink directly from the bottle. Whiskey tastes like paste. He hates alcohol and it doesn’t make him drunk. He could drink ten of these bottles and still wouldn't feel a little thing. He knew that Cas also could drink immense amounts and he never feels even dizzy. 

“How do I know if I’m gay?”, he asks and avoids eye contact.

Dean bursts out in laughter. It takes a while for him to calm down again. Jack feels very embarrassed. 

“I shouldn’t have asked”, he murmurs and attempts to get up again but Dean stops him.

“Ey sorry. I’ll give you some advice okay? You will know when a man or a woman drives you crazy. Just, I don’t know. Try it. Get Grindr or whatever, chat with some guys, meet up. And try it.”

Dean’s eyes are really teary now. That was maybe a little too much. 

“Are you okay, Dean?”

“Ya, ‘m fine. No worries.” 

Dean is not okay, but Jack has learned his lesson. Dean will always say it’s okay, there’s no problem, I’m fine. 

Sam is a lot different from him. He’s strong and calm, his hands are so big and his broad shoulders would be perfect to lean on. 

Dean is different. Never at peace, restless. Always on the run from whatever is going on in his head. 

“Is Sam…is Sam gay?”

Jack is shocked by his own words. Dean freezes. And then slowly, very slowly turns to Jack. There’s nothing friendly in his face, it’s a grimace.

“No, he’s not, Jack. Never was. Never will be.”

His heart feels like it’s sinking down to Jack’s groin. It hurts. He gets up.

“I should go to bed. Good night.”

“Sleep tight.”

Tonight Jack cries, hugging his moose plush toy.

*

“Grindr or whatever.”

“Chat with some guys, meet up. And try it.”

Dean’s statements from that night stick with the poor innocent boy. He rolls these thoughts in his head and they roll from one corner to the other, like marbles. He also dips his tongue in them, tastes them. Makes them slide from his teeth down to his throat. But he never swallows them. 

Sam is not gay.

“Never was. Never will be.”

Sam doesn't like men. He doesn’t like boys. And Jack is a boy. Does that mean he has to give up on what he feels? But, what if Jack isn't gay himself? He has no experience. Not with girls, not with boys. He only knows it feels wrong to kiss Aurora. She is one girl of billions. And Sam is just one man of billions.

Maybe, even when Sam is not interested in men, Jack is an exception. He is half angel!

Grindr. Or whatever.

What is Grindr?

Jack didn’t eat this morning, because he  heard Sam and Castiel fighting over something Jack didn’t want to be part of. It was enough to see Dean drink so much, but he wouldn’t participate in any of the tensions that his behaviour caused lately. Dean had told him, he would kill him. Well, maybe he won’t do that anymore now since Jack helped to save the world more than once. He said Jack isn’t family. Maybe he still thinks so. It hurts Jack, because he loves his three father figures and he looks up to Dean. He’s a strong hunter, a leader. He’s the muscle of this team. Sam is the brain. Castiel somehow is the heart. But what is Jack? Always willing to sacrifice himself to make Sam and Cas and Dean love him. 

These thoughts are dark enough and going out there and witnessing another fight wasn’t Jack’s favourite start of the day.

He rather hid in his room after showering. 

Dean has offered him some breadcrumbs like the ones Hansel and Gretel left to find their way back home from the forest. But he needs to go the other way. He doesn’t need to find his way out of the forest and away from the witch’s gingerbread house. Jack wants to find exactly that. 

Wrapped in his towel he sits down on his bed, takes his smartphone and opens a search engine tab. Aurora has texted him but he doesn’t want to reply right now. He feels bad about how he let her down and didn’t kiss her. 

He isn’t sure what he is supposed to search for, he just types grinder. Several online shops appear. Obviously it’s a name for a tool to crush herbs and marijuana. Did Dean mean that? He should grind some herbs and perform a ritual? Nah. Dean was drunk, he surely didn’t think that far.

Next step is to look it up in an online dictionary.

It says a lot of things about molars (pressing together with a rotating motion), grinding as a verb to pulverize material, and then something caught Jack’s eye.

to rotate the hips in an erotic manner

Now, that makes sense in a way, that makes Jack blush deeply. It’s a motion he sometimes imagines when he’s hot and aroused. When his body works up, his cheeks hot and his spine tingly. He imagines sitting on Sam’s lap, both kissing and sighing, and then Jack would...grind. 

Jack has to put the phone away for a second. Thinking of this clouds his judgement. 

After a minute of breathing in and out and trying to tone these thrilling images down Jack is ready to now search for: “Grinder gay men”

The search engine reports “No results for Grinder gay men found. Do you want to search for Grindr gay men instead?”

Jack is irritated about the missing “e”, that’s a typo, right? but he presses the tab ‘yes’.

What pops up now is an article from an online encyclopedia and describes Grindr as a mobile app for gay, bisexual and trans men to chat and meet other men of the same interests. 

The second article is a link to his smartphone’s app store, which Jack opens. 

Dean wanted him to find this app. To meet other men. Try it. Now it all makes sense! Jack is happy about this. Dean wouldn’t be so mean to him after all!

He downloads the app Grindr - Chats, Meeting and Dating for Gays. The app’s icon is black with an orange mask in the middle. Looks plain but also makes Jack curious.

To use the app Jack has to sign up. Since Castiel once has given him permission to sign up in a social network he just thinks it applies to this stuff too. 

There’s a lot of text about privacy, which he just accepts to go further. He signs up with his e-mail address and password. He struggles with his birthday. He tells people he’s 21 years old, which makes his birthday for official purposes May 18th somewhere in the nineties. He has to do some funny verification procedures, the last one is verifying his phone number. 

The app wants him to upload a picture of him, and because he doesn’t have any he just takes one. He doesn’t mind that he's naked except the tiny towel around his waist. The first step is easy. He’s Jack, 21 and looking for Chat, Dates, Meeting up and Friends. He wonders why there’s two options for meeting people. One sounds like it’s for impatient people and the other one is for people who are patient. Like Sam. Sam would be patient. 

He’s now transferred to the next page. And he now sees a lot of other people using the app it seems. A lot of very muscly men are there. They all like to show their body, but Jack doesn’t really like this. Their nudity even makes him feel icky. 

Some men have nicknames like “BigTrunkBear” or “LikeItRough” or “Creamlover”. Jack’s confusion is growing. 

There’s also a lot of men having no photo at all, but how should Jack know how they look? Also the photos of legs irritate him. 

The app notifies him he needs to complete his profile. There’s some multiple choice questions but also dropdown menus and input masks.

It’s easy for him to type a few sentences about himself. 

Jack is as blunt as it could be. 

“Hello, I’m Jack. I like nougat, my fathers and shadow show.”

Age and height are no problem, but he has to google what ethnicity is. His skin is pale, then he must be white. 

Every question after that is confusing to him. He doesn’t know what “position” (Top, Bottom, Vers) he is, is he a “Bear” or a “Twink”? What is all that?

The confusion grows and Jack closes the app for a moment. He thinks about googling all of it. But then his phone chimes and there’s a text message in the app from a man with the nickname “OralPlesaurer”. Which is funny to Jack, because it’s a typo. And no one’s name in real life is OralPleasurer or Creamlover.

Cream is cool, yeah, whipped on pie. But Jack’s not a lover in the sense of the word. Weird people there.

Jack opens the message, it’s a simple “Hi”.

Jack sends a "Hi" back.

What happens then can only be described as…unexpected.

Shinin’ Like A Fiery Beacon

Sam has no suspicions what’s happening in Jack’s mind, but he notices he’s shy around him. Maybe even a little uneasy. The last months have been rough and Sam knows Jack has gone through a lot. Mostly he tried to gain Dean’s trust again, make him and Dean forgive him. But Sam was never mad at him. He couldn’t. 

There is a lot in Jack that reminds Sam of himself and that makes it hard for him to look at the situation objectively. 

Jack was destined to be a weapon for his father, Lucifer. And Lucifer was a special kind of topic for Sam and it has granted him a very twisted satisfaction that Jack helped to kill him off permanently. Three times. Jack’s struggle with his heritage was something Sam totally understands and yes, of course he also understands why Dean is angry and hurt. 

But why does he treat Jack like that still? 

Why is he so determined to stick to his anger and his grief? It doesn't even seem like he is trying to get over it, to forgive Jack. 

There’s something else on Dean’s noggin’ and Sam knows it, even when Dean doesn’t talk about it. The empty whisky bottles, all the sex with nameless strangers and his risky behavior aren’t new to Sam or Cas. 

But that Cas puts up with Dean’s bullshit is astounding. He wouldn’t let that happen. And Sam fights a lot. With Cas. About Dean. With Dean. About Dean. And Cas. And how he treats Jack.

Lately Sam noticed a feeling deep inside of him, flourished for Jack. A gentle, fragile feeling and he didn’t dare to touch this topic. Not even when he was in his room alone at night, rolling around in his bed. It’s a special kind of affection mixed with a frustrating amount of attraction. Sam hates himself for feeling like this. It’s just not right. Jack is nothing like his father, yes, but that's also not the problem. He’s barely 4 years old by now, he came into the world in the body of a young man but little knowledge and childlike naivety. How could Sam take advantage of that? Jack clearly wants to gain his friendship and maybe a platonic kind of love. It’s wrong of Sam to wish for more than that. And that’s why he keeps it hidden and rather tumbles into new fights about Dean’s alcoholism.

It’s his turn to do the cooking today while Cas and Dean are on an investigation and he’s alone with Jack. Sam notices once more that Jack hides in his room a lot, he won’t come out unless Sam calls him to lunch or dinner. Mostly he skips breakfast. So far there’s nothing weird about it, maybe Jack needs some privacy. Sam thinks of his youth with Dean and Dad on the road and how he hated to never be alone. 

Taking ‘long showers’ was always suspicious and a lot of things he and Dean did were blurry to him now in his late thirties. When Sam fled to Stanford and finally had a room for himself, actual locks and actual keys for them, doors he could close...it was better than heaven. That’s when he finally could explore what it meant to be a teenager and deal with the rampaging hormones on his own. Also, he could finally be away from Dean’s hypersexual behavior. Maybe Dean thought it was cool to be like this in front of Sam, especially when they as brothers became a little too close and it was his way to dodge the bullet. 

In the light of his own memories Sam knows what is happening.

And he’s sure Jack’s kind of blossoming at the moment. 

With his super cute and lovely girlfriend, Aurora.

Sam hasn’t met her yet and he has no idea how to react. Of course, he’d be nice and polite and make her dinner and ask her all the nice and polite things for small talk and tell Jack how lucky he is but there’s something primal inside of Sam. Jealousy. He hates being jealous and he has no right to feel that way. One more reason to just let this blooming feeling die and not feed it with anything. 

Not with his weird daydreams or the thoughts at night that keep him bothered and not the moments he’s alone in the shower, rubbing one out. Afterwards he’s just more frustrated, instead of feeling any relief. 

Sam needs another cup of coffee, a strong one. Before Cas and Dean went out, there had been another argument. It was hurtful. Things were said and then taken back, Cas’ puppy eyes all over, Sam's yelling and Dean almost breaking shit. Like always. Maybe after this one they’d calm down, all of them. Dean and Cas were alone for a while, maybe doing some reconciliation. Sam would be happy for them if they could get over whatever was going on. 

In the meantime Sam is just happy with cooking, doing laundry, generally cleaning the bunker and reading. It may sound boring for some people but for him it’s heaven. They’ve had too much going on for fifteen years, some peace is pretty nice and just what he needs right now.

Jack’s an active reader too and he reads the good stuff. Sam educates him about most things he’s comfortable with and he knows he should’ve given the kid ‘The Talk’ already, but Dean kinda started it and Sam is a bit of a chicken regarding this topic. Sex isn’t his favorite thing to talk about. And so far, there seems no reason to rush it, even though Aurora is there. Dean told him about a week ago that Jack has refused to kiss her and if there wasn't anything else going on Sam was unaware of, that was the sexiest thing Jack had achieved so far. A kiss from a girl.

Sam burns his tongue on his coffee because he chugged it too quickly. With a curse he bangs the mug on the table and that’s when Jack walks in. Lately he abandoned his adorable pajamas and wears some of Dean’s and Sam’s old shirts and flannels he grabbed out of the sacks for the clothing drive. That looks wrong in all the right ways, but Sam can’t really say anything about it without letting his guard down. And he won’t let his guard down. Never. 

“Morning, Jack”, Sam utters, trying to cool his tongue with a sip of water. “I didn’t expect you to be up that early. Want some porridge?”

Jack looks up at him and there’s still a sleepy veil surrounding him. He seems to be just woken up. He is wearing one of Sam's old shirts, which is too big for him and the sight makes Sam gulp. A little.

“Yes, sounds good.” Jack sits down and yawns in his hand while Sam gets him some porridge and a cup of coffee with a lot of milk in it. 

Now Sam notices that Jack carries his smartphone with him, which is unusual. Jack mostly uses it for chatting with Aurora or doing some research but he never carries it around like some other teenagers do who are maybe a little too attached to it. It vibrates a couple of times before Jack takes it and mutes all notifications. He looks…guilty?

“What is it? Is Aurora chatty today?”

Jack looks up and puts a spoonful of porridge in his mouth, shaking his head. 

“No, it’s um…it’s nothing.”

Sam is suspicious. Does Jack talk to someone else? Would he need to give him a talk about keeping options open? He doesn’t want to approach the issue by himself, so he rather sits down and eats his breakfast too. Jack seems a bit nervous, always throwing stolen glances at his phone and the screen lights up every couple of minutes. Jack doesn’t reply to any of these messages, he just turns the phone screen down on the table and keeps eating. 

The day goes by, Sam just gets cosy in the library. Dean messaged him it’s a vampire nest and he and Cas will hunt them down tonight. Which is a good sign. Sam also told him to take some time off after it, maybe go to Vegas. Dean hasn’t replied yet. It’s a bit selfish but Sam likes the quiet peace in the bunker. They have thought of moving out a couple times but none of them could really think of somewhere else to live. They were hunters after all and so far they didn’t think about retiring. The bunker was still the core of their family. A home. Dean’s and Sam’s home after years on the road or couchsurfing at Bobby’s, the only home Jack knows. Sam even started to make his room look like an actual bedroom. It had been bare and clinical for years when he still couldn’t wrap his mind around the idea to settle down with Dean. He thought the bunker would maybe one day be taken away from them again. 

His phone chimes and Dean promises to be back in a couple of days. Couple of days. That could mean they’re back tomorrow or in a week. But he’s happy that Dean takes the chance anyway. 

Sam is totally sucked in by the book he’s reading and he jolts when Jack appears in the library, a hot chocolate in his small hand and a slight disturbed look on his face. 

“Sorry, you scared me a little bit”, Sam says and feels bad about it. 

Jack only smiles and takes a seat across the table.

“It’s okay. Sam, can I ask you some questions? I wanted to ask Dean, but he’s away and not replying to my texts…” 

“Of course. What’s the matter?”

Jack looks up to him, big blue eyes piercings through Sam’s skin. He hates when that happens, Jack has an unsettling effect on Sam. He’s not used to feel like this. 

He squirms in his chair now and then with a sigh, Jack takes the phone out of his pocket to place it in front of him. Okay, so there is something up with the phone. Sam was right about it. 

“How do I know if I’m gay?”

Jack doesn’t look at Sam, he stares at his phone. Sam can see his ears getting red and Jack just blushes so easily… and also very intense. His face is burning red, Sam would bet his ass on it. 

The question itself is nothing Sam would classify as weird. It’s obvious Jack’s going through a phase of finding himself. Contemplating his own sexuality is part of it. Thing is, it makes Sam slightly uncomfortable talking about it. It’s partly because Jack is so young, the other part is that he’s attracted to Jack. Sam didn’t feel attracted to anyone for years and he hates labels. He loves who he loves and he wants to sleep with people he has a strong connection to. And a life as a hunter doesn’t provide much space for a romance to unravel.

How is he supposed to talk about it when he has no idea where to start?

He isn’t a good measure after all.

“Oh, that is as simple as it is complicated”, Sam starts, folding his hands on the table. He takes deep breaths, before he starts to speak. 

“First of all, I can only speak for myself and I don’t know if I'm for much use. In regards of sex you really better ask Dean, but since he doesn’t seem to look at his phone at the moment, I will try.” 

He has already told Jack about making love instead of sex and Sam has thought about his choice of words and regretted some of it. It sounded way too much like purity culture and Jack shouldn’t think sex was bad. Sexual attraction isn’t bad at all.

It just doesn’t fit for Sam.

“Does your question have anything to do with how you feel about Aurora?”

Jack nods. Slowly, a little unsure.

“She wanted to kiss me but I didn’t want to. It didn’t feel right. And I wondered if it has something to do with- I mean- maybe I like boys and not girls?” 

His face is so red by now, Sam could swear he feels the heat radiating from the boy.

“There could be several reasons for it, it doesn’t mean you’re gay. Most people kiss and make love because they’re attracted to each other. Attraction is a very tricky feeling. It feels like butterflies in your stomach, heart pounding, you maybe even feel dizzy. That’s when most people say they’re in love. Do you feel that when you are with Aurora?”

Jack shakes his head.

“No.”

“Then maybe, you’re just not in love with her, and that's okay. You will fall in love with another girl in the future. Or you fall in love with a boy, which is also totally fine. Also you can feel attraction to people who don’t fit in the girl/boy categories. It’s all just about how you feel around them and if you want to kiss them. Or go further.” 

Sam rubs his hands. He really feels uncomfortable educating Jack about love and sex. Now would be a great moment for Dean to show up and take this conversation.

“You know, Dean likes both. Cas is an angel, I don’t think a concept of gender applies to him at all.”

This is when Jack looks up. 

“And what do you like?”

Sam now leans back in his chair, his heart aches a little and he feels heat creeping up his neck. He hates that question.

“Well, Jack…” he sighs heavily, “I don’t care much about gender too. I’m not gay, but I’m not straight either. And I’m also not bisexual, like Dean. It’s hard to say. When I like someone, I like them and I don’t see gender. Boy, girl, queer, it doesn’t matter.”

Now Jack takes a long, careful sip of his hot chocolate. His smartphone chimes again and Sam just has to ask.

“Do you think you’re gay, because you didn’t want to kiss Aurora or is there something else on your mind?”

He knows it’s not his business but he also takes it very seriously to be a good role model, be a father figure to Jack. When Jack needs help, Sam will provide it. Same goes for Cas and sometimes even Dean has his bright moments of fatherhood. 

It’s obvious Jack doesn’t want to answer right away, he looks like he is tasting words in his mouth, rolling them over his tongue, putting them in his cheeks for a moment, before he says something that surprises Sam. 

“There is something else. A man asked me out, but he asked me things I don’t understand.”

Sam stiffens. 

“A man? How old?”

Jack shrugs. 

“Couple years older than Dean maybe?”

Now Sam leans forward, skeptical and on alert. 

“What do you mean, he asked you out? Where? How?”

Jack now shows Sam his phone and Sam recognizes the push messages. The icon is black with an orange mask in the center. 

Oh no, that’s not good. Like absolutely bad.

“On this app. He lives close and he asked me if I like bareback? But I don’t know what he means with that. Does he want to go horse riding with me on a date?”

Sam can’t help but laugh. It’s a diminished, unhappy sound. 

“No, he doesn’t want to go horse riding with you, Jack. He wants to have unprotected sex with you.”

You Got That Medicine I Need

“What do you mean by… that he wants to have unprotected sex with me?”,  Jack asks. 

He was utterly confused about this statement and how Sam came to that conclusion. There’s so much he doesn’t know and so many things he got wrong. Sam also doesn’t help much with his shooting questions and… things like this. Jack furrows his eyebrows, tilting his head. 

“You have to delete this app and stop talking to these creeps.”

Sam looks very upset and Jack doesn’t get why. 

“Answer my question please, what is bareback then? Sam, why do you think he’s a creep? He seems actually nice, he says he likes my eyes and my lips, look!”

He shows his phone again to Sam and he just takes it. Then Sam gets up and starts fumbling on the screen, his eyes narrow. Jack knows this kind of facial expression, he usually sees it when Sam is upset with Dean. Should Jack maybe tell Sam it wasn’t his own idea to install the app? Would that help? Would he then be mad at Dean? But Jack doesn’t want that either, he wants Dean to like him. 

“Jack, it’s gay slang. And this guy”, his voice rises in irritation and suppressed anger, “he looks fishy. Why the hell do you use these apps anyway? You’re with Aurora and… you have no idea about sex yet, casual dating shouldn’t be something you … you like. What is this all about? Jack?”

Jack feels like he’s shrinking to a tiny puddle of shame under Sam’s piercing eyes, his sharp voice and how his chest heaves. He’s also annoyed at the same time. It’s his fathers’ fault he knows so little about sex and how to court people, no one really feels responsible to help him with it, except Dean! Jack looks up to Sam, even when it hurts right now, he hates it so much when Sam is angry. And he feels like he was a dog that took a shit on the carpet and now has to feel utterly guilty for… having essential needs? 

That it’s Sam who tells him to stop makes it even worse. He’s trying to figure out what he feels for Sam, it’s hard enough to see him all day and feel this tickly, hot and cold feeling all over his body and only be able to release it in the silent darkness of his room, quietly moaning and thinking of Sam kissing his tummy and thighs… and even more. Jack feels all the heat building up inside him, it makes his skin crawl and his eyes tear up.

“I want to know if I’m gay or not!”, he says, way louder than intended. “And Dean said it’s a good idea to meet up with men and find out what I like!”

Sam stiffens, chest heaving even harder when he drops his hands and bangs them on the table. 

“Dean told you to install this app?”, he asks. Voice dangerously gentle.

“Yes.”

Jack crosses his arms, defensively. 

And then Sam nudges the smartphone back to Jack. He looks so angry while appearing so calm, apart from his deep breathing. Jack can see the breath vibrate in Sam’s chest and he wishes so badly to lay his head there and hear Sam’s heartbeat, feel his pulse and how his chest moves while breathing. 

Sam’s mouth is a firm little line before he speaks.

“I guess Dean didn’t think his advice through, Jack. This app and many others are made for casual sex and hook ups, and I wouldn’t let you meet any of these guys you’re talking too. You could get hurt”, he then combs through his long hair, fishing for words, “You know that there’s people out there who want harm. It’s too dangerous. Delete it.”

Jack doesn’t attempt to take the phone again, looking at Sam, angry himself.

“No. I need to find out who I am and you keep on handling me with kid gloves!”, he says, voice raised and aggressive. 

This is when Sam slams the table with his fist. “It’s because you are a fucking kid and I don’t want you to be whoring around!”

Wow. 

That feels like a punch in the guts. Jack knows what a whore is. He has googled it after Dean has told ‘whore stories’ at the dinner table when Sam was out with Cas once.

His eyes tear up heavily and there’s a choked sob before Jack grabs his phone and gets up. 

“I’m not a whore, Sam. But good to know you think of me like this.”

Sam's frozen solid for a couple seconds, can’t act on anything but wants to. Jack fumbles on his phone with shaking hands and then shows Sam.

“See, app deleted. No ‘whoring around’ for me.”

And then Jack storms off. Sam calls out after him “Jack, I’m sorry, please come back!” But Jack doesn’t come back. He grabs his jacket and goes outside. He needs some time alone.

*

In the evening, alone in his room, Sam is extremely downhearted. He tried to talk to Jack later, when he came back into the bunker. He even came up to Sam himself to show him the app was still gone, but didn’t talk anymore. Of course Sam apologized every time they saw each other, but Jack didn’t react. 

Damn, he has fucked up so hard this time. And he can’t even lie to himself saying it was just a stupid thing he said. That he didn’t think. Well, he really didn’t think at that moment. There was just … that moment, that hot red moment of possessiveness, of jealousy. And this fata morgana of pure, asexual Jack that Sam could protect and nuture, versus this dark fucked up desire to kiss him, ruin the literal angel. Be the one to show him love. 

To show him how Sam could make him feel, make him come in thousands of ways. Sam’s so touch starved and drawn to Jack and he is so endlessly ashamed of it. It’s not right, he keeps telling himself. It’s wrong to feel attracted to a child. To the child of his rapist. Even Sam cries in bed sometimes, like today. He cries about his stupid words, about how he hurt Jack and how filthy he feels all the time in contrast to the pure and utter arousal picturing the nephil in his bed, sweat covered and hot and willing and moaning Sam’s name when he spills all over his firm stomach. 

Fuck. Holy fuck. This is so bad. 

*

Jack retreated in the forest for a while, listening to angry music on his phone, kicking sticks and stones around till he reached the pond where he just sat down, stared at the glistening surface for an hour or two. He cried a little, too. Sam’s words have hurt him incredibly. Sam is Jack’s role model and the person he wishes to be closest with. And that Sam, especially Sam implies Jack ‘whored’ was so excruciating, that his half human body even threw up the rest of dinner. With his knees pulled to his chest and his face buried in his eyes he cried and cried, before the childlike side in him started rebelling again. Sam has hurt him, but Jack still wants to know what’s wrong with him. Why he feels for Sam, and if it’s because he’s male… or because he’s Sam. 

The feeling hurt even more now, it even hurts now when he’s in bed, staring at the ceiling, still listening to angry yelly music. His body is terribly worked up again, but now Jack reinstalls the app, his profile is still there. He doesn’t know what to do with the old guy who wanted to ‘bareback’ him but he had googled it while staring at the pond and Sam was indeed right. But this old sack wasn’t the only guy Jack was in touch with, there was also Hunter, 25, from Gilead, Kansas. Jack likes the name hunter, because him and his fathers are hunters and hunters are mostly good people. He also likes the name of the city where he’s from, Gilead. It refers to a mystical place in the Bible, which he read a couple times already, but also was the name of the USA in the novel The Handmaid’s Tale by Atwood, which he loved too. And Hunter is nice, very nice and when Sam demanded Jack to delete Grindr, Jack was afraid Hunter would be mad if he didn’t reply to his last message.

But of course Jack wants to reply to Hunter, and there’s two new messages from Hunter which he answers quickly. He gives Hunter his phone number and then decides to delete the app really, just in case Sam wants proof again. Which Jack would maybe deny next time, he is so sick of being treated like a child. Because he’s not. His body is fully developed, and he knows a lot about the world. He knows facts, but it’s hard to find out about all the social stuff. Jack feels alien most of the time, because he has intimidating powers and his angel self works different from his human self. He just has too little experience in human and social interaction and Sam even tries to take away the chances Jack could have to be better at being a human being, which is the side he picked long ago. He wants to be human. Normal. And he wants to be accepted, respected and loved. Not patronised and cared for like a baby. Of course, he knows. He’s defiant and petty but he’s tough and brave enough to learn more about the world and love. 

Aurora isn’t forgotten, he feels bad when he thinks of her, but she also didn’t reply to his last message. Which makes it easier to attach to Hunter, who says in his profile he’s a “vers bottom” (and since no one seems to care about giving Jack a proper talk he googled it and now is indeed in the picture what that means), wants to find true love and relationships. His favourite movies are Star Wars and Lord of the Rings and he likes novels like Lord of the Flies and Fahrenheit 451. He sounds so intelligent and nice, Jack trusts him already after a few days of texting. He seemed able of critical thought and he liked books Jack also liked and they spent a day just talking about religious imagery in The Great Gatsby. But yeah, Jack was totally whoring around. Surely.

Tonight he’s too hurt to let his usual thoughts of Sam go too far, instead he opens his messenger app and he doesn’t have to wait very long after messaging Hunter to get a reply.

Jack smiles when Hunter asks if he is in bed already and what he’s thinking of. Jack texts back he thinks of a certain dark haired, brown eyed man he likes. Hunter looks a bit like Sam and Jack can lie to himself casually here. The texts turn hotter with every turn and Jack’s heart starts pacing, his hand sliding under the seam of his underwear while he reads Hunter’s latest message, describing how he would undress Jack, kiss him and let his hand wander where Jack wasn’t touched by anyone else than himself so far. 

In the morning he feels way better. Hunter’s messages have given him some very nice moments of pleasure but he also feels a little guilty. He hasn’t replied to the hot messages because he’s a total newbie and doesn’t even know what he likes himself. When he told Hunter in the night he’s a virgin, Hunter was very nice and understanding and told Jack he doesn’t have to reply if he feels insecure. 

This sort of validation is something Jack wants to have from Sam but after what Sam said and how deeply it impacted Jack’s trust in him, he tried to let go of this hope. Sam thinks he’s a child. Or a whore. Or both. Jack knows about Nabokov’s Lolita and wonders if Sam thinks he raised him to be seductive to old creeps like the bareback guy. 

One way or the other, Jack is hurt and pissed off, but overall he feels better and steadier today, his ego is petted very thoroughly by Hunter. Maybe one day Jack won’t need Sam’s approval and affection anymore. Seems a nice thought today.

When Jack gets dressed he sneaks up to the kitchen and he can hear from across the floor already Sam is talking to someone. He’s loud, his voice full and usually Jack likes how deep, low and growly Sam can sound when he’s in some kind of situation he’s passionate about, no matter if positive or negative. 

But this sounds like he’s yelling at Dean and that’s never good. 

“Why the actual fuck did you tell Jack to install a gay hook up app, are you out of your rotten mind? He took your word for it and now I am the one who had to clean up this mess!... Yes, he used it and a guy he talked to wanted to meet up and bareback…. Jesus FUCKING Christ Dean that’s not funny-- stop fucking laughing! He could be hurt! You’re such an asshole. I wonder why you fucking hate the kid so much, after all he did for us!... No, I didn’t forget about mom, never will. But you know it wasn’t him. I don’t give a fuck about your feelings right now... Leave the child alone or I swear you’ll regret it!”

A long silence. Jack counts from 50 downwards and stops at 7, when Sam’s voice rises again. 

“Yeah you better. Gimme Cas, I need a word with him.”

Jack has heard enough. “The kid”. “Clean up a mess”. “The child”.

Mary Winchester.

He’s suddenly not hungry anymore and retreats to his room, where his smartphone vibrates the moment he closes the door. It’s Hunter, of course.

Looking To Get Fucked Hard

It takes Jack a day and a half after the phone call to make the first move towards Sam and accepts his apology, which is very well-considered, diplomatic and remorseful. He still feels very hurt by Sam’s words and the fight over the phone with Dean also didn’t help him look over the fact that Sam has a certain edge in his voice when it comes down to explaining ‘adult stuff’ to Jack. Jack, who is naturally curious and eager, but also blunt and innocent, doesn’t quite understand what his problem is. When Jack hears Dean talk about sex with several people, sometimes at once, it doesn’t sound like something he feels ashamed of. He’s even proud of it. 

But Sam is so much more secretive and retreats from any question Jack has from now on. Is sex something bad? And why does he think Jack is acting like a promiscuous person for talking with people online?

It takes another five days in which Jack secretly talks to Hunter over his messenger app and Jack avoids looking at his phone when Sam is around. He doesn’t want to get in another argument again but he also likes the way Hunter makes him feel. Even though Jack is a virgin and inexperienced, Hunter takes him seriously. He treats Jack like an actual adult, with adult needs and adult opinions and an adult body, that is longing for another human’s touch. Jack kind of came to the conclusion that being in love with Sam won’t go anywhere good, not after all the things Sam has said to him. And how he thinks of Jack. As a child, something he has to protect and nourish but for God’s sake don’t touch it. 

Jack doesn’t want protection. He wants to be loved as a man, even though he’s barely a man now. 

Sam’s apology doesn’t change his way of thinking about Jack. 

Damn, why does he have to be in love with Sam, from all people? Maybe it would be even easier with being in love with Dean. Scruffy, grumpy, spiteful, asshole, loyal, troubled, vulnerable Dean?

Is that maybe any better?

But even Dean doesn’t take him seriously as someone who has needs. He gave Jack this damn idea about the app and he probably knew it would cause Jack trouble when Sam found out. 

Over the next days Cas and Dean don’t show up and Sam is worried even when he tries to hide it behind research and angry texts and treating Jack even more than a kid. Makes him his favourite food and drinks, even lets him drink some beer. 

It makes Jack feel even more like someone you need to treat like a timid fawn.

Does nobody see that Jack is no fawn anymore? That he’s ready to grow, that he has intimate, sexual urges. He is prospering for everyone to see, but Sam just squeezes his damn eyes shut and Dean makes fun of him.

And Castiel probably doesn’t even know what it all means because he’s a full grown celestial angel, or an ‘eldritch horror’ as Dean sometimes puts it. 

Time to sow his wild oats.

After a week of absence it seems clear, Cas and Dean are either having a good time or they’re getting lost somewhere in a brothel or a casino or whatever humans do in Las Vegas. Sam doesn’t tell Jack where exactly they are, but Jack thinks they got somewhere to also let off some steam. 

Jack decides to meet with Hunter, after they had some very thrilling conversations at night. It’s mostly that Jack still imagines Sam when he touches himself but Hunter is giving him a lot of things to think about. He doesn’t feel that naive and innocent anymore, now that someone tells him he’s hot, he’s cute, he’s desirable. He is equal. 

No more thinking of ‘down there’s and that kissing is oh so sacred. It’s a change that would scare Jack if he wasn’t so eager to show off to Sam he was mature enough to be treated equally. Hunter presses the right buttons. And all of them at once. 

Jack wants to know how it feels to kiss, to be touched in places, he even wants to touch someone else. And if he keeps telling himself it’s Sam, while he’s with Hunter, he might even enjoy it more. They look so much alike, or at least how Jack thinks Sam looked when he was way younger. Maybe Hunter’s smaller, and what Jack saw from his body wasn’t that defined and muscular, but he can dream. His imagination is going strong. 

His hormones and his contact with another man who shows interest in him make Jack cocky.

They set the date already two days after the fight with Sam and today is the day. Sam and Jack still don’t spend much time together and in the morning Sam announced he will be doing some inventory in a room he was able to unlock with a smell Rowena left him. He told Jack about shelves full with old scripts and mason jars labelled with ‘icky stuff’ and he thinks that in no way the Man of Letters Cuthbert Sinclair would’ve left such a mess and vague labels. Icky could mean a lot. 

Jack doesn’t mind and tells Sam he wants to read The Magic Mountain by Thomas Mann.

“That’s a piece of work, Jack”, Sam says, a little proud maybe. “I never made it through it.”

“Well I read some articles about it already and I’m very interested about the portrayal of eroticism, life and death.”

He can’t leave it. He has to tell Sam about the sex stuff he’s interested in. The protagonist of the novel is said to be bisexual and Jack would really like to read it. 

But not today, he will drive to Gilead to meet Hunter, as soon as Sam will drown in his inventory. 

“You also should focus on the motif of time and its correlation with life and death”, Sam says, ignoring the eroticism. He’s unapproachable with the issue at all. It drives Jack up the walls, since his hormones, hurt ego and the cockiness took over his thinking.

“Thrilling.”

Jack means it sarcastically and catches a glance from Sam that he can’t quite ignore. The tension between them grows weirder every day instead of resolving. 

He gets up now, he needs to shower and get ready soon. 

Jack doesn’t know why, but there pops up a thought in his head. About making love.

He wouldn’t do that today. In his nightly thoughts he still couldn’t wrap his head around the difference. 

Of course he’d never admit it, but Jack still knows nothing about love but that he feels something for Sam that comes pretty close.

Sam knows something’s off. That something is still off. Jack is reserved, but sometimes also irritating. Passive aggressive. Mopey. Yes, of course, Sam has apologized as often and honestly as he could but nothing seemed to help Jack and him to find a common ground again. He understands Jack wants to be treated differently, like something he isn’t just yet in Sam’s eyes. It’s his need for being the guardian that doesn’t let him treat Jack like an adult. Let him drink whiskey, watch porn, have sex. The contradiction of his own sexual attraction to Jack and the need for control and guidance drives Sam up the walls too and he has no one he could talk to about it. Dean is distant in his own manner, he’s fled with Cas and after Sam had yelled at him over the phone about letting Jack use this sex app there’s radio silence. Just a quick heads up from Cas now and then. Sam feels like the trip for just the two of them isn’t helping the way he wished for.

This is why he needs to do the damn inventory. Keep himself busy. Think about something else than Jack being a little jerk all of a sudden, Dean’s whiskey consumption and Castiel’s helplessness. Is Castiel even helpless? Or does he just pretend he doesn’t see something is terribly off? Being alone with Jack makes it really rough. Either Jack’s too close, or he’s too reserved, there’s no balance at the moment, and in his mind, it’s also either Jack grinding on his lap or Jack, far away with Aurora or that nasty creep from the app. 

Gladly he’s deleted it and they didn’t need to have a talk about it again. Sam would be furious if Jack lied to him. Furious, because he’s jealous, helpless and sexually gone rogue. 

Why is it so wrong to feel this way? 

In the storage room there’s utter chaos and Sam will probably spend two days in here. Today, he embraces chaos. Chaos is good, because he can break it down and bring it into an order. His order. His system. He even brought instrumental music to have something to drown his own dark, sorrowful and horny thoughts. It will get over soon. He won’t be crossed in love with Jack forever. He can push through this.

But does he really want to?

Sam is so busy with tidying up that weird room that he doesn’t notice anything else is going on. Jack can hear faint flute music across the halls when he sneaks around. He has put on his best shirt, ripped stone washed jeans and a leather jacket that Dean inherited to him. Involuntarily, because he actually wanted to throw it away and like some old shirts, Jack just picked it up and kept it. 

He also did his hair the way Sam said once, it looks good on him. Then maybe Hunter would like it, too?

Jack takes one of the keys for the Volvo in which Sam had taught him to drive. 

Ironic. Sam lets Jack drive, but God forbid he does other adult things!

With the key in his shaking, sweaty hands Jack sneaks off to the carpool garage. The Volvo is purple and has two scratches (long ones) from Jack’s driving lessons, but Jack owns the shame about it now. He unlocks it, gets inside and opens the navigation app on his phone. It says he will be on the road for around 90 minutes, which is okay. He has brought an audiobook, three bottles of water, some protein bars and a charger for his phone. Better to have a fully charged phone, Sam says. Not everything Sam says is bull, even when it feels to Jack like it. He’s gone through a lot of feelings for Sam lately, one of them was anger because he also felt like Sam would patronise him in the most hypocritical way. As if he didn’t try stuff out when he was younger! Dean has told a story or two. But Dean also said Sam’s not gay and that’s not completely true, he found out. Sam is about the person, not gender. So, yes, he’s not gay. But he’s also not straight. If he was just in love with Jack, too. It would be so easy and Jack wouldn’t be so worked up about it.

Jack tries to shoo the thoughts away when he texts Hunter that he’s on his way, but of course he can’t. Sam is always on his mind.

*

If Sam knew he caused a moderately severe teenage rebellion and a sexuality crisis, he probably would’ve never said such bad things to Jack, and he would’ve tried to reconcile even harder. But this way he’s wound up in his inventory distractions, trying to shut the whole issue out. 

Sam jerks up when he hears a noise from the hall. It’s probably just Jack walking around. Maybe the damn Magic Mountain and its discourse about damn eroticism was too much for Jack and he looks for something else to read. Sam sees him with all the heavy stuff actually. He read the Iliad, the Odyssey, the complete works of W. B. Yeats and the baroque geste The Fairie Queene by Edward Spenser in the Middle English original and he wouldn’t shut up about it for weeks. Sam has a hard time reading this epic poem, it’s complicated and he feels like he needs to have graduated in literature or linguistics to make sense of it. The problem is, Sam is maybe smart, but Jack is a fucking genius. Sam hates to admit it but the kid is so smart, he outwits Sam vertiginously.There’s not much Sam can actually teach him but what he can teach he doesn’t want to. Sex for example. But Dean is a shitty substitute and maybe, yeah, maybe Sam should do it. It will be embarrassing and awful but Dean would drag Jack to a fetish club or something and he can’t let that happen. It’s enough that his three father figures all are a bit weird, Jack could end up like a vanilla type of person and do something remotely decent for a change. 

Maybe he should consider giving Jack some sappy romance novel, some light fare. Something that won’t stimulate Jack’s curiosity about the deep endless pits of the human mind, or human sexuel desires. Something that would scratch surfaces but not go too deep. Nora Roberts maybe, but when Sam thinks about it he remembers her novels as repetitive, and not without a problematic approach of gender dynamics, masculinity and love.

Damn. Now he’s thinking about Jack again. 

It will never stop.

Sam considers a break. Just to get himself a sandwich, maybe sit together with Jack and give him another honest and more straight forward talk about how and why Sam is the way he is and why he is so different from Dean. He’s pretty sure he’s given very honest and clear answers to Jack’s questions before they had that stupid fight. Labels really aren’t Sam’s jam, but maybe Jack feels better to know labels and then decides they fit or they don’t. And Jack should know that Sam has been vulgar, unfair and downright wrong with his wording and with patronising him like that. It was not his place to send him to his room like a stubborn kid. He kind of realizes now, that Jack is so much more. He deserves a chance to understand the complex dynamics of human interaction in any kind and Sam should let him.

On his way to the kitchen he hears even more clanking of plates, a running coffee maker and sizzling. It smells like steak. 

This is weird. Jack doesn’t like coffee. Jack also doesn’t know how to make a steak, that’s Dean’s thing.

Dean’s thing.

Oh no. Sam hurries to the kitchen, before Jack maybe sets something on fire and when he appears in the doorframe, calling out for Jack a very confused Castiel and Dean are in the kitchen, Dean almost drops the hot pan. Cas jerks in surprise and burns his hand with hot coffee.

“Jesus Fuck, Sam! You scared the living shit outta me!” Dean exclaims, looking confused. 

Cas wipes his burnt hand clean of the spilled hot coffee.

“Why are you here?”, Cas asks and looks at Sam. 

Sam is just as confused as they are at that point.

“Better question is, why are you two here? I thought it was Jack in the kitchen.”

He doesn’t even have time to be relieved about seeing Dean in good condition. He really looks good and relaxed. But at his brothers’ question he raises his eyebrows and turns off the stove. 

“I, uh, actually sent you a message a couple hours ago we’re comin’ home Sammy. Enough Vegas. You didn’t reply and then when we parked Baby in the garage, the Volvo wasn’t there. That’s why we” - Dean gestures to Cas - “deduced you and Jack are maybe going somewhere and you didn’t check your messages.”

Sam’s confusion grows. “No, we didn’t go anywhere. I unlocked a secret storage room right on the way down to the pool areas and I’m doing inventory. Jack is in his room. He reads some old dusty Thomas Mann novel, because he’s into phalluses all of a sudden.”

Dean coos a laugh and Castiel clears his throat. Then all three get a glimpse on the fact that something may be wrong here.

“Well, if we’re all here, who took the Volvo?”, Cas asks, silently healing his burn.

Sam could swear Dean mumbles a “son of a bitch” under his breath before he says: “Well, not everyone is here. We should look for Jack.”

Jack isn’t in his room. His shoes and his shoulder bag are gone. The Volvo keys are missing. The situation is pretty clear. Jack has gone somewhere and didn’t tell Sam.

Son of a bitch.

Screwed Up, Scared, Doing Anything That I Needed

The date doesn’t quite go as Jack imagined it to go. Hunter is indeed the man he texted with, but he’s only ever seen the chest or his face and now Hunter looks distinctively older than he claimed on Grindr to be. Jack is too shy to ask him about it, he feels like it’s maybe rude. Hunter has used an old photo on Grindr, that’s for sure. They sat down in a bar anyway, it’s fall and it’s dawning already. Hunter offers to buy Jack drinks and given the fact Jack wouldn’t get drunk he accepts. 

But Hunter seems weird. The conversation stops a couple of times and he asks a lot about Jack’s love life, but Hunter knows already, he’s inexperienced, right?

After an hour and two cocktails Jack retreats to the toilet to wash off the weird feeling he has. Hunter is nice to him, there’s no reason for him to be more suspicious. Maybe Hunter was just embarrassed because he’s lost some hair already, and the started balding on the back of his head. When Jack turns around, he gets stuck at the restroom’s stalls door and his phone nosedives in the sink where the water is still running.

“Oh shoot!”, Jack cries out. That can’t be real right now!

He tries to dry off the phone best as he can but he knows it will be best to turn it off and put it in rice. He has no idea about how to get home though and he kind of wants to go home soon. There’s no connection to Hunter as he wished there would be. 

Back in the bar Hunter awaits him with what he calls a Gin Tonic. Jack chugs it down and he doesn’t like the taste at all.

“Oh you can take a lot!”, Hunter says and Jack gets the idea that he isn’t amused about how much Jack can drink. 

“Yes, I umm, maybe it’s my very fresh liver”, Jack says, but he doesn’t go any further.

“Look, Hunter. You are a nice person, but I don’t feel a real connection. I’m very sorry”, Jack says, being very guilty of wasting the man’s time. 

Hunter shrugs it off. “Don’t worry about it, Jack, we just wanted to meet and find out, right? But would you be so kind and ask the barista for his number for me? He seems to be flirting but I’m shy, as you may have … noticed.” 

Jack is a bit irritated, but he wants to do the man a favor and agrees. “I wanted to order a coke anyway”, Jack says, getting up. “Do you want something more?”

The older man just gives him a crooked smile. 

“Nah, I’m good, champ.”

Champ. Who says champ?

Jack goes over to the bar where the barista (tall, handsome, eyeliner and old school tattoos, maybe as old as Jack passes with). As innocent as he still is in his rebellion he asks him about his name and number.

“Who do you want that for?”, the barista asks him, pouring him a glass of coke.

Jack hates lying, that’s why he points over to Hunter with his thumb. 

“My date over there.”

The barista huffs and shakes his head.

“No, but if you want my number I’ll give it to you.”

Jack declines.

“That is very nice of you, but I’m already in love with someone and I think I won’t be with anyone else very soon.”

“I’m Baz, if you change your mind”, that’s when the barista gives him a slip of paper with his instagram URL on it. 

“Thank you, Baz”, Jack smiles at him and waves when he takes the coke in his hands and goes back to Hunter. 

He’s on the phone, texting someone and Jack just remembers he maybe needs to get a phone call or some maps print to find his way home. His phone shouldn’t be turned on again and he should maybe call Sam to pick him up. That’s really a dumb situation he’s in. Hunter doesn’t look up at first but eventually does and Jack sits down.

“I’m sorry, he’s not interested”, Jack says and takes a sip of his coke. 

Hunter sighs but he kind of doesn’t look all too disappointed. “Thanks for the effort though.”

“Hunter, I have a little problem, my phone got wet in the restroom and I need to print a map or call my dad to fetch me here.”

That’s something he seems to like hearing and Hunter relaxes. 

“Not a problem, you can come home with me, it’s not far. You can use my printer if you like and I can give you a bag and some rice to put your phone in. It’s no big deal.”

Jack sighs in relief and relaxes a bit. It’s dark outside already, the kind of darkness, that’s not all consuming, but creepy enough. Jack doesn’t like being outside alone for too long and he’s glad Hunter is willing to help.

He wants to pay for himself, this is why Jack gets up and pays his drinks at the register. When he’s back he exes his coke, that tastes strangely bitter this time and maybe it’s just some residual from the cleaning agent. Hunter smiles and gets up too to pay. Jack buttons up his jacket and they leave the bar together. 

The air is crisp and there’s a hint of rain. Jack can taste the drops already. 

The walk is a little longer than expected and when they arrive at the house, Jack finally gets suspicious. Hunter claims to live on the second floor, and there’s light in two of the rooms. Did he leave his lights on? That is wasting resources and Sam doesn’t like it when Jack would leave the lights on. 

Jack doesn’t give it any more thoughts. Somehow Jack feels a bit icky now, there’s a bitter taste in his mouth and his sight is getting a tiny bit blurry, frayed on the edges. Hunter lets him in. 

“If you like, you can wait here for a second, I uh, I think I didn’t tidy up very well, I didn’t think we’d come home”, Hunter says, giving Jack a crooked smile. The apartment is tiny, the fitted kitchen just has a small fridge and two hot plates. There’s a microwave and an electric kettle, a toaster and a coffee maker. All in all it looks tidy, but worn, the wallpaper of the corridor looks yellow-ish and it smells of cigarettes. Jack doesn’t like it when people smoke and he’s glad none of his dads do so. Hunter hurries to a door that maybe leads to the living room and sleeping room. Jack has very good senses and he doesn’t feel like he’s alone. There’s footsteps and breathing and the smell of something clinical. 

Jack needs to lean against the counter of the kitchen unit and close his eyes. He feels uneasy, something is wrong and he knows he should go. His body feels heavy and his thoughts delay.

And that’s when Jack can hear another man as clear as a bell saying something to Hunter.

“Dude, why did you bring him here? He’s still conscious!”

Then Hunter.

“I had no choice, I gave him the whole bottle. That shit could kill an elephant but he’s still walking straight. I had no idea what to do!”

“You fucking retard!”

This is so loud now, Jack would even hear it if the men didn’t whisper. Jack knows he should react much faster but he feels like he’s walking through water when he reaches for the door and opens it.

And what he sees is nothing he expected.

Jack’s phone is dead.

“What do we do now?”

Sam is clearly panicking and Dean is moderately concerned now, too. Cas kind of holds his shit together, but he also worries. 

The angel also is the one to make first assumptions. 

“Every of our cars has a GPS tracker, right? We can find him like this, we just have to consult the app.”

Sometimes it sounds like Cas thinks there’s a breathing person on the other end of the line looking the GPS signal up for him, but neither Sam or Dean really bother to make fun of him for a change. 

“This is my fault.”

Sam of course blames himself. He has been unfair to Jack, he even insulted him. Something that Sam would never do. If he was still a bit sane, but he seems like his feelings for Jack just turn him inside out. But then he looks at Dean, who really makes a guilty face right now and Sam has an idea.

“No, actually it’s your fault, Dean. You told him about the damn app. We had a fight about it and a couple days later he sneaks out? He must’ve kept contact with someone.”

Dean frowns and crosses his arms, defensively. 

“Well I didn’t expect him to pull it off, I mean the boy is clearly in love with you, Sam. I thought that would help him enough through his identity crisis.”

Sam just ignores Dean’s suggestion, Jack would be in love with Sam. Sam would know that, right? He would notice, if Jack was seeking his attention? And given the nature of their relationship that would be absolutely inappropriate.

As inappropriate as his own feelings for Jack.

“Stop making fun of him, I swear, I’ll strangle you myself if something happened to him.”

“Whatever.” Dean says and shrugs. “I know I’m right about that. You should’ve just, dunno, give him a hand or so.”

“You’re unbelievable!”

Before Sam could really reach out and knock his brother unconscious, Castiel interferes. Physically and vocally.

“Sam, Dean. This isn’t helping. It doesn’t matter whose fault it is that Jack is gone, we need to find him. The GPS app says the car is parked in Gilead, Kansas. That’s about an hour and a half away from here. I turned on angel radio, but Jack isn’t responding. Something has happened. We need to go. I’ll zap us to the car and from there, I can maybe sense him. We have no time for rituals. Let’s hope, he’s okay.”

Sam feels like he is about to collapse and cry his heart out. Jack is out there and maybe he’s in danger. 

Life Imitates Art

What is irritating Jack the most isn’t the camera on a tripod in front of the bed. It’s also not the three strange guys surrounding the bed or Hunter’s surprised and frightened face. It is the tarp spread over the mattress. A black shiny huge tarp and Jack doesn’t have a single idea why it should be there. His vision shifts slightly and there’s a distant ringing in his ears. 

“What is..?” Jack wants to ask but the sentence won’t leave his mouth completely. 

Of course, even he gets now he’s been tricked into something. He’s been so incredibly stupid.

“Come on, boy, just relax”, one of the men says and Jack recognizes the voice. 

It’s the one who called Hunter a retard and complained about Jack still being conscious. That’s why the coke tasted like soap. Hunter tried to drug him!

The man comes closer now, Jack smells his sharp and heavy aftershave and his head is spinning. Gladly, Jack is half angel and the drugs didn’t knock him out. That’s why Hunter gave him too much it seems. He isn’t going to faint or something but Jack is clearly handicapped and when a second guy also comes closing in Jack looks for a way out, but Hunter behind him locks the door. He looks around, panicking, but all he sees is an XXL bottle of massage oil and sex toys. Oh holy shit.

“Don’t come near me!”, Jack says, retreating, but nudging Hunter with his back and Hunter grips his arms. “Don’t touch me!”

Jack knows how it is to be afraid, but this is a whole new level of fear. He fears for what these men will do to him if he doesn’t manage to get out. The familiar sensation of his powers start tickling. First in his stomach, then his arms and then a piercing pain behind his eyes.

“I said, don’t touch me!”

The men won’t stop but one of them is looking at him like he’s a ghost.

“What is happening with his eyes?”, he yells. “Shit, something’s wrong with his eyes!”

This must be the moment Jack’s eyes start glowing golden, like they do when Jack is in a state of emotional distress and he does good so. Because the next thing Jack feels is like his chest is erupting. 

“No one touches me!”

And then the world turns red.

Castiel drags Sam and Dean across the city, all three of them panicking. The Volvo is abandoned, parked in the city but no sign of Jack. They have no idea where to look first and Cas’ doesn’t receive any signal from Jack, and, well, you can see he’s trying very hard to get even a tiny bit of information.

Dean and Sam are still yelling at each other, like that’s helping anyone right now! But Cas is too focused, too worried to care about the mortals fighting like children. 

When Jack’s powers surface, Cas can hear Jack’s enochian voice in his head and it’s shrill, it’s blinding but he knows exactly where they have to go now. He grabs each Winchester and says, following Jack’s call “Shut up, you two. I got him!”

Jack feels dizzy and sick, and he vomits all over the floor. It’s coke and alcohol, gastric acid and the drug Hunter gave him. Everything’s coming out in spurts and Jack is happy to get rid of the poison. The dust in the room settles, three bodies are scattered around him, all of them still breathing but bleeding but one of them, the fourth is crawling towards the door. Jack wants to stop him, because he thinks the man might hurt another boy just like this and he can’t let him get away with it, but his human body is cramping and throwing up bitter fluids. 

The man wails when Sam shows up out of nowhere, sided by Cas and Dean. Jack sees them through a veil of tears, but he can’t get up, all he can do for now is whimper. There’s distant grunts and yelling, hectic moving. Cas helps him sit up and his warm healing light helps Jack regain some conscience. 

“They’re all blacked out”, Jack hears Dean say. “God damn, look at this, Sam. Camera, bed, latex bed sheets, dildos, lube….”

“Gang rape”, Sam just says and Jack can hear his voice shake with anger. 

Then - sounds of plates clashing on the floor and Sam yelling at Dean. And then yelling at Jack who’s still held by Cas to be healed. 

“For fuck’s sake, Jack! What did you do?!”

“We need to leave”, Cas says, “we can’t stay, the eruption didn’t happen unheard. Police will be here soon.”

“Sam?”, Jack moans. “Sam?”

Sam crouches in front of Jack and places his hand on Jack’s cheek. There’s no smile in Sam’s face, which Jack would die for. There’s disappointment and anger. So much anger. 

“I didn’t mean to…”

Jack regains his strength and gets up. “I’m okay, Cas. I can walk.”

It’s no difference if Jack wanted it or not, it happened. He has almost been assaulted and videotaped because he trusted the wrong person. Because he wanted to show Sam he’s an adult, he can make his own decisions. He’s mature enough to date. 

The bitter truth is, that Jack was just a brat and it almost cost him something important. His innocence.

On the way home, Jack and Sam don’t talk much. Dean and Cas zapped back home, but they needed to get the car away from the parking lot and Jack doesn’t want to be zapped, he still feels sick. It’s not only because he threw up all of his meals and drinks today or that he used his powers to defend himself. It was the look on Sam’s face that was utterly sickening. Jack could live with Sam yelling at him again, even calling him a whore or whatever. Call him stupid, childish, bratty, cocky. But the silence is gnawing on Jack’s nerves like a hungry rat. But there’s not much he can say, because if he just told Sam what’s gotten into him he would maybe spill he’s in love with Sam. That he wanted to know what is going on with his body and mind and why he desires Sam of all people on this planet … that Jack wanted to know how it feels to be taken seriously by someone who desires Jack. And if there was a way to forget about Sam with someone else. It didn’t work with Aurora, hell it didn’t work with Hunter. 

Jack wonders if he’ll just be in this state forever. Seeing Sam and immediately daydreaming of his big, strong hands all over Jack’s body. 

Sam doesn’t talk to him for the whole ride except necessities, he doesn’t talk much when they’re home. There’s another very nasty fight between all three of his dads, when they think Jack is already asleep. Cas looked after him half of the night, helped him shower, brought him sandwiches, water and anti nausea pills. He even attempts to talk about what happened but Jack just can’t. Not yet. Not with Cas. How could a seraph, a celestial being, understand Jack’s human nature? And his failures? He tries and Jack is happy about it. He apologizes to Cas more than once but Cas just says, it’s okay, it happens, we all make mistakes. 

But the yelling of Sam and Dean is deafening.

Sam accuses Dean of getting Jack willfully in danger. Dean yelling at Sam for being a fucking coward. A hypocrite, a prude. A liar. 

Dean is a drinker, an asshole, a narcissist, relationally disturbed and overall a bad person. 

If you believe what they say to each other, which Jack doesn’t. 

He doesn’t know what or whom to believe these days.

It takes Dean two days to come up to Jack and apologize. There’s a lot of words being said, all saying the same. That Dean was a prick for saying that, he didn’t mean Jack to get in danger. And somehow Jack thinks, no, he didn’t want Jack to get hurt. He wanted to teach Jack a lesson, whatever that lesson was. Jack wasn’t getting behind it and Dean just manipulates sometimes. He maybe knows the answer and Jack would’ve done a lot to be able to read minds. He could also make all of them stop lying again, but the last time ended in so much chaos… Jack better doesn’t act up at all these days. He’s just happy his fathers found him on time. 

Put Your Hands On My Waist, Do It Softly

It takes Jack three nights to finally go up to Sam’s room and knock. He knows Sam is awake, he may not be able to read minds, but he senses Sam’s distress. 

“Yeah?”, Sam calls.

“Sam, uh, it’s me, Jack. Can I come in?”

A loud sigh, creaking of the bed. 

“Sure. Come in.”

Jack feels like the damn newborn fawn he didn’t want to be mistaken for in this moment when he worms into Sam’s room and closes the door behind him. Sam is in his shorts only, Jack in his pajamas, but when Jack is honest, he didn’t sleep a single minute since they got back to the bunker. He is afraid of the dark and the loneliness and he misses Sam around him so damn much, he cries until his eyes burn and his face is swollen. 

“Sam, I wanted to say, … I am sorry, I shouldn’t have lied to you about the app. I shouldn’t have snuck out to meet a shady guy so far away. I’m really sorry.”

Sam looks up. 

“Jack, what you did was stupid, rash and irresponsible but I’m not the one you should apologize to. I should apologize to you, but all of this won’t make it undone, you know?”

He tears up again when he sees the hurt look on Sam’s face.

“Look, I know I was mean to you and I was overprotective, rude and I didn’t even tell you why I’m not telling you everything about love and sex you want and need to hear. I should have because I’m your caretaker and I should’ve known better. I don’t blame you even half as much as I blame myself.”

At first Jack wants to protest, but Sam is right. There’s been mistakes on both sides with a hint of Dean spicing things up. 

“Can I sit down?”, Jack then asks, still standing in the corner at the door. 

Sam gets up and puts his laundry away from the only available seat. Except his bed. 

Jack sits down, rubbing his face and squeezing his legs together. Damn tears. He even has a headache. 

“I wanted to understand”, Jack mumbles, looking down at his lap. “Why I feel certain things for certain people-”, he looks up, Sam’s face is still a stiff grimace, “... why is it all so confusing?”

“Love?”, Sam asks.

“Yes, love. Sex. All of it.”

There’s a minute of nerve wracking silence, before Jack has the guts to say it.

“I only ever wanted to know how it is with you.”

It’s so quiet now, Jack imagines he could hear a pin drop at the gas station out of Lebanon. He knows he dropped a bomb right here, but he overheard another fight with Dean calling Sam a hypocrite -again- and ‘having the hots for the kid’. Apart from being called a damn kid again, Jack checked what that means. Having the hots. And well, yeah, Jack himself has the hots for Sam and he doesn’t want to live with the uncertainty anymore. He won’t meet anyone else he wants to be with, not in a very long time and if Sam doesn’t reciprocate his feelings, he can still try to move on. But there’s no moving on in a vacuum. Like now.

“Dean is right?”, Jack asks carefully, his voice is thin.

“Dean is right”, Sam finally admits and buries his face in his hands. “But it doesn’t mean it’s right. You know?”

“I know.”

Another second passes.

“No, actually I don’t know, Sam. I don’t think it’s wrong. You said you’d never judge. But why did you do so when I needed your approval the most?”

Sam looks helpless, wringing his hands. 

“Because I was jealous and I shouldn’t be.”

“I would’ve liked your jealousy more than being insulted by you.”

It’s visible how uncomfortable Sam is, he’s fighting emotions. Jack is, too. But he’s crying already. What happened to Jack was terrifying, but what he really, truly fears is Sam’s rejection.

“I’m sorry, Jack.”

“Stop being sorry and start being honest with me… Don’t you think I deserve it now? I know I’ve changed very radically. I used to go to town in my damn pajamas. That’s barely four weeks ago and it feels like years already.”

Sam smiles now. Even a little sad.

“Yes, it was actually very adorable. Seeing you like this.”

“I’m not adorable anymore. I’m not that naive anymore. Why can’t you just… see me like Dean sees Cas?”

“That’s a very bad example and you know it.”

Now Jack laughs and wipes away some cold tears from his face. 

“And I already see you like this, Jack. But I feel guilty for it. I’m here to keep you safe. I want to be the person you turn to when you’re lost, I want to guide you, but also be the person that’s your safe haven. Can I do that when we… Jack, when we get together, our relationship will change. We will get to know each other in ways that might scare you. Or even scare me. I’m afraid of that. And if I’m afraid, you should be, too.”

When Jack gets up and sits beside Sam on the bed, without asking first -- it feels like a very bold move for Jack. He likes being close to Sam and feeling his body radiate warmth and safety but also desire and a pull that’s hard to resist, Jack knows it’s the right thing.

“I’m not afraid. I’ve been afraid in Gilead, but when I’m with you, I know nothing bad will ever happen to me.”

Sam’s face yells OBJECTIONS but Jack ignores it.

Jack leans on Sam’s shoulder, the touch feels electrifying and at first, Sam stiffens, but then relaxes and puts his hand around Jack’s shoulders.

“I’m not afraid”, Jack says again. 

Sam nuzzles his nose against Jack’s hair and kisses him right behind his ear. Jack feels violent hot shudders all over and that is the most intense thing he’s ever felt for anyone.

“It feels good”, he mumbles, turning his face to Sam. 

Sam is close, incredibly close and despite the hot shudders Jack gets goosebumps all over. It feels like that one time he had fevers, when he was dying, but in a good way. The best possible way. 

Jack doesn’t receive a kiss on his lips, as he wished for, Sam kisses his cheek and his jaw. Just slightly. But to Jack it feels like he’s a dying sun out there in the universe and he’s being eaten up by heat and flares of light. 

And then Sam’s hand reaches for Jack’s.

“I still need time…”, he whispers, “we both need some time. To be sure.”

“I’m very sure.”

“Give it a minute”, Sam says, hot breath lingering over Jack’s face. “Just a minute…”

Even Sam can’t wait the damn minute before he kisses Jack. Gentle and soft like a hummingbird.

"This is Heaven, what I truly want."

[winklinebingo]

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[jackandthesoulmates]

soaked

Author: jackandthesoulmates / tintentrinkerin

Title: soaked

Created for @winklinebingo , @spnkinkbingo

Squares filled: name calling (spnkinkbingo), free space: Watersports (winklinebingo)

Pairing: Winkline (Samjack)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: smut, bdsm themes

Additional tags: Watersports, Degradation, Humiliation, Misogynistic Slurs, Sub!Jack, Brat!Jack, Dom!Sam

Word count: 2,049

Many things that Jack and Sam do in the sheets are a result of them fooling around. Jokes. Giggles, “have you ever?”s. Sam is the one with the experience of course, but Jack is the one with the imagination going places that even Sam didn’t know so far. 

First, it was Jack who loved gagging on Sam’s cock, crying and gasping while looking up and so endlessly desperate for Sam’s praise. It was tiny little things of Sam humiliating Jack, letting him go out without underwear in a skirt. Dinner in a fancy restaurant and a vibrator egg deep in Jack’s ass, remote control in Sam’s pockets. 

And oh dear, Jack wants so much more. He wants to be spat at, insulted, belittled, being bossed around, cock squeezed in a cage. It’s a lot and sometimes Sam wonders, where all these kinks come from. He’s barely four years on this earth, there was no man or woman before Sam and there’s nothing Jack likes about porn. He doesn’t even read books with overly sexual content. It’s not that Sam is complaining about any of it, no no. He loves it. He loves kinky, submissive, filthy Jack. He loves how pliant Jack becomes after punishment and how hard and loud he comes from just his prostate massaged. Sam is by no means a sadist, he wouldn’t say that. He’s just turned on by Jack, by how much he enjoys himself being beaten and bruised, choked and flogged. There were things even Sam wouldn’t try on Jack even if he begged for it. 

Actually, Sam always thought he wouldn’t be into watersports. He doesn’t get behind the appeal of being pissed on, drinking some other person’s urine. 

But now Jack mentioned it, they’re in the library, Sam has a whiskey, Jack is good with anything soda, as long as it rots his human teeth (which doesn’t bother him at all, he’s half angel, he heals in no time. If he wants to).

Sam looks closely at Jack, eyes narrowed.

“Is that a request?”, he asks sheepishly.

Jack leans forward and gives him an innocent puppy eyes kind of look that means exactly the opposite. 

“Maybe?”, he says, “maybe not…”

It’s his game and Sam knows it. There will be if’s and maybe’s and teasing and pleading in the end. There’s a secret signal. Not a safeword. A safeword use ends a scene. Their secret signal starts it. Sam waits.

There’s a blink, a short drawing of breath. 

“I bet you don’t dare to piss on me, old man.”

“I bet you will regret saying that.”

They stare at each other. Sam is fast, his hunter reflexes are strong, even now when he and Dean have retired. He’s out of his chair and on Jack’s throat in a matter of less than a second. His hand grips in Jack’s hair. He winces but looks up at Sam with his bratty glare now. 

There it is, “I bet you don’t dare”.

Jack lost all of these bets so far and he knows it very well. It’s the signal, the act of consent. He wants Sam to do it and Sam will. He drags Jack on his hair along the library. Jack whines and laughs in an eerie mix that shows the arousal, the thrill, and the triumph even if Sam rips out some hair at the root. The next bathroom is the one that sued to be Castiel’s along the hall. There are still towels, functioning water tabs, and a bathtub. Sam turns around and forces Jack on his knees.

“You want to be pissed on, you filthy little slut? You don’t even deserve my body’s waste!”

Jack looks up, eyes tearing up and red already, one fist pressed against his lips, the other one tries to loosens Sam’s grip on his hair. Sam crouches in front of him, the look on his face is warm and kind, but the fist in Jack’s hair tightens and he tilts Jack’s head back. For a moment they stare at each other again. There it is. Jack’s jubilant smirk. Sam lets go of Jack’s hair, finally and slaps Jack right across his cheek. The slap isn’t that bad, not meant to hurt the boy, but to humiliate him. Sam’s cock jumps in his jeans when he sees more tears in Jack’s eyes, now flowing over and running down his cheek. 

“You think you deserve a single drop of it, huh? Tell me.”

Jack bites his lip.

“I do.”

Another slap across his face. 

“Wrong answer. Try again.”

Jack stays silent. Sam knows it’s Jack testing him, Jack wants to be broken. Every single time Sam needs to break his will and his dignity, it needs to be humiliating and cruel for Jack to get off. This is no light spanking and “harder, daddy” scene. It’s not what he needs. 

Sam’s slaps now turn harder. He is strong, Jack knows it. Sam bruises him up easily, Jack’s skin uses to be all bright black and blue with yellow blow outs in sharp contrast to his pale, milkwhite skin.

The boy is sobbing now.

“You’re already my convenient little cum dumpster, it’s an honor I use your holes for that. Given the fact you’re still lousy at taking my cock.”

Jack nods with trembling lips. 

“I’m getting better”, he says, a little weak now. “It’s so big.”

“You’re damn right it is.”

Sam grants Jack a little relief, cups the angel’s face with his big hands, and brushes away the tears with his thumbs. 

“And I’m still so nice with you, right? I give you all of this in my generosity. All I ask for is an obedient little slut, with his holes ready at any time. Are you ready anytime? Are you obedient?”

Jack shakes his hand softly, sniffling and breathing soundly through his parted lips.

“No, I’m not. I’m not ready, your cock tears me apart, sir. And I’m a brat, sir. I don’t obey.”

The smile on Sam’s face is genuine. He likes it when Jack gives in. It’s fulfilling, satisfying. 

“That’s right, pet. That’s right. And now you even want my piss. What should I think of you now? You can’t take it. You will fail as you fail with everything. You gulp my precious cum, like you have to. It’s a gift, others would die to get a drop of it. I don’t think I should waste anything on you.”

His boy is crying for real now, sobbing and shaking. It’s always a sight, it’s like watching someone getting purged of all hope. Damn, it’s utter surrender. Sam attempts to get up and turn around, leave crying Jack here on the cold tiles. He could go, have another drink and wait for Jack to return to him like a beaten dog. Sometimes he likes that. Not giving in to Jack’s kinks. Deny him. Only to fuck him into oblivion afterwards. 

“Please, sir, please give me your piss… I’m begging you… please I will be good! I will take it like a good boy.”

His pleas make Sam’s heart jump and he turns around, looks down at the crying mess he created, and smirks. 

“Didn’t we agree that you’re a pathetic little shit? That you’re bratty and unable to handle me?” 

His voice is soft and wooing, laced in pity for Jack. 

“Yes, but I want to prove I can do better. Please please please, I need it!”

Sam gives in now.

“Get in the tub. Naked”, he orders. 

Jack obeys, undresses first, and climbs in, his legs are shaking and he needs to get a grip on the brink of the bathtub to not fall over. He’s clearly aroused too. Jack kneels down, his hands on his legs, palms open and ready to receive. Sam also doesn’t undress at all. It shows who’s in control. He unzips his pants and pulls out his cock. He’s somehow hard already, but not enough to prevent Sam from being able to pee. Jack gasps at the sight. It’s cute somehow because he never seems to get used to the sight. 

“Look me in the eyes, pet.”

His blue dazzling eyes look up at Sam, big and glassy. 

“Good. You really can’t wait to get pissed on, hmmm?”

“N-no, I can’t … I want it, sir.”

“Open your mouth.”

Jack first looks shocked but then parts his lips for Sam. 

“I said ‘open your mouth’. Wider.”

Oh, how sweet he trembles. He obeys again, mouth wide open and his tongue sticking out. Like he has to do when Sam cums in his face. What a beautiful sight he is. So innocent and yet so depraved. Sam rubs his cock a little, he’s nervous about it, it’s new. It’s unexplored. Completely foreign territory. Something he can’t show to Jack now. Jack trusts him and that’s what matters now. It takes him some effort to relax. Truly relax. Release the tension from his muscles, from his jaw, his arms, and let go. The first spurt of piss hits Jack’s chest. He moans in surprise, but doesn’t look away from Sam’s face, keeps his mouth open. 

“How does it feel? Being pissed on? Tell me, pet.”

Jack does his best to keep eye contact, even when Sam’s piss is running down his chest now, leaving glistening trails on his white skin. Some drops make it down to his belly button and even his cock. Jack’s erection is massive, twitching and leaking precum. 

“It’s humiliating, sir”, he says in a thin voice, “I feel dirty.”

“Good. Very good. You deserve to feel dirty.”

Sam bites his lip while another spurt hits Jack’s throat and gets caught in the strands of his blonde hair. 

“Open your mouth.”

Jack obeys. Sam’s piss now splashes against Jack’s chin and his mouth. He comes closer to aim better at Jack’s mouth and tongue. It visible Jack wants to retch, the smell and taste must be a lot, but he stays focused, receiving Sam’s piss.

“Touch yourself.”

Jack moans quietly and squeezes his eyes shut, but he starts jerking while urine is flowing all over his chest and stomach. Even his hand and cock get covered and soaked in piss. It really turns him on, because he starts squirming and moaning in a manner Sam never heard before. He doesn’t have much left, Sam needs to hurry. He covers Jack’s forehead in piss, wets his hair. Then the flow stops and Jack whines.

“Can I cum?”, he asks, gulping down a bit of Sam’s gift.

“Yes.”

“Thank you, sir…”, Jack cries. 

His movements get frantic almost, he thrusts in his fist, eyes still shut and his whole body trembling. 

“Say ‘thank you, sir, for giving me your piss’.”

“Oh, God… Thank you, sir, for giving me your piss…”

A few more powerful thrusts and Jack spills his cum over his legs. He moans in pleasure, his eyes shine in a slight golden light as it happens sometimes when he loses control. The sight makes Sam hard as a rock. When Jack slowly calms down, he breathes deeply and his head falls back. The smile is back. 

“Good boy”, Sam praises. 

He gets out of his clothes now. Needs relief. 

Jack is used to it being fucked raw, he loves it, as he assures Sam over and over. It’s the stretch, the pain and the feeling of Sam’s cum filling him up. And as a reward for being so obedient, Sam even grants him to rinse off the piss first. 

It’s their ritual to take a bath afterwards. Jack loves bubbles. Jack always gets bubbles. 

In Sam’s arms he relaxes and raves of the experience. Sam kisses Jack’s neck.

“I’m glad you liked it. For a second I thought you wouldn’t want it to get that far.”

Jack laughs and turns around to kiss Sam’s lips. He doesn’t taste of urine, something Sam is secretly happy about. He loves humiliating and degrading Jack, but he would never like it done to himself.

“Don’t be silly, Sam. I loved it. It was perfect.”

Jack looks at Sam in pure adoration and Sam leans in another kiss, happy to have given his boyfriend something that satisfied him deeply. 

Sam would shower Jack in all the love he could give.

[winklinebingo]

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