snakes. why did it have to be snakes.
(Season 5 Lego Set Spoilers!! bewareeeee)
Macaque has been freezing up, or bailing out, of their most recent fights against the latest villain threatening the world.
Word Count: 2k
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Wukong wasn’t really paying much attention, at first.
He was leading the charge, the others walking behind him, Macaque trailing along at the very back of the group, as he seemed to like to do. Whether that was him keeping his distance from Wukong in general, because he didn’t want to be in a leading position, or because of some other innane reason, Wukong didn’t know, and didn’t particularly care. It didn’t matter to him.
Mei was ranting about their newest villain of the week. At the same time, Macaque had started snarkingly chiming in from his position at the back- saying something cocky for sure. …Probably. Wukong had honestly stopped paying attention the second he had heard the tone of voice the other was using, he’d heard it directed at himself often enough to know that nothing that was about to leave the other’s mouth was something of value. Despite Macaque’s interjection, Mei was continuing on, seemingly also ignoring him as she proceeded in her angry rant;
“-and his stupid snake hair too! Who does he think he is, Medusa?? The next time I see him I swear I’m gonna-”
Mei’s next threat was lost on Wukong’s ears, because he suddenly realized that Macaque had stopped talking. Old instincts of ‘If someone suddenly goes quiet, it is because they Have Been Kidnapped’ reactivating in his brain, Wukong took a quick glance backwards, just to ensure that there wasn’t a new problem being plopped onto his plate. And then he quickly did a double take, looking back again.
The others hadn’t noticed (outside from MK, who had raised an eye brow at Wukong’s actions and had also turned around to see what his mentor was looking at), but Macaque had seemingly frozen in place.
He was posed in a sassy way- the usual way he looked when he was speaking the same sort of cocky nonsense that he had been talking about earlier, but his mouth wasn’t moving, instead stuck in a slightly tense smirk. One of his eyes was closed, and the other very adamantly avoided eye contact as soon as Wukong initiated it. His left foot was lifted up midstep. Wukong couldn’t help but think that it must be fairly hard to keep himself balanced like that.
Wukong stopped walking. The others stopped too, looking at him in confusion, before following MK’s lead in glancing back at what the Monkey King was staring at.
“Uh.” Wukong said, “You alright?”
Macaque didn’t answer. MK walked over and poked him.
…And then poked him again.
Macaque unfroze, his step finally following through, his position readjusting to something that was probably supposed to be casual but instead ended up coming off as extremely forced.
“I’m fine,” He said, “Just… heard something.”
“Care to share with the rest of us?” Pigsy crossed his arms over his chest, looking unimpressed. Macaque gave a noncommittal shrug in response.
“Wasn’t that interesting.” He mumbled, “Look, can we just keep moving? We don’t have all day, y'know.”
With a hum, Wukong turned back around and started walking again. After a moment, he heard the others start moving as well. Still though, even as he chose to drop it for now, Wukong couldn’t help but silently note the incident in the back of his mind.
~
MK dodged under another swing intended to knock him straight into next Tuesday, trying his best to tune out the aggravating villainous laughter from his opponent. Seriously, this was getting insanely annoying. How many more times was he gonna have to fight this guy? Five more times? A dozen?
As the mere idea of fighting this guy even more times sunk into him, MK could sense his whole body glitch, his monkey tail briefly thrashing. MK winced, leaping back out of range to give himself a moment to breathe, settling himself down, before using the brief moment of reprieve to hit the side of the comm device on his ear.
“Hey, Macaque? Could really use a shadow portal out of here right now!”
There was no response. Actually, now that MK thought about it, he hadn’t seen Macaque since the moment this battle started.
As he did a backflip to avoid a hit to the face, he scanned the battlefield. Last he remembered, Macaque had been-
Oh you had to be fucking kidding.
In the last place where he had seen the Six Eared Macaque, there stood a shittily drawn cardboard cutout of that very shadow monkey in his place. How long had that been there?
…How hadn’t he noticed it?
Distracted by the sheer absurdity of what he was seeing, MK, unfortunately, forgot to pay attention to the person right in front of him, getting whacked in the chest and propelled into the side of the nearby rocky cliff-face. MK let out a wheezing breath as the wind got knocked out of him-
And suddenly he was falling backwards through solid rock, brief panic overtaking him before the purple tinge in his vision clued him in. Here was the shadow portal he had asked for, even if it was a little bit late.
He landed smack on his back in the inside of the truck, staring up at the ceiling.
After a second, MK rolled over, pushing himself up with a groan.
“Didn’t go well, I take it?”
MK looked up at the sound of Macaque’s voice, finding the shadow monkey sitting there in the passenger seat, his body slightly turned to look back at him. MK frowned at him, making it incredibly clear how displeased he was.
“Why did you bail out?” MK asked, “We could’ve used your help back there.”
“Eh, it seemed like you guys had it handled.” Macaque said, before wincing, one hand going up to his ear, where his comm rested. “Ugh, you guys sure do like to yell into these things…”
Before MK could even voice another protest, Macaque snapped his fingers- and suddenly MK was buried underneath the weight of his friends.
~
“Okay.” Wukong said, staring pointedly at the monkey sitting across from him at the campfire. “I wasn’t going to say anything, but it’s becoming increasingly obvious that this is developing into a much more serious problem.”
He hadn’t realized it during that first incident, spaced out enough that he hadn’t truly noticed what had triggered Macaque’s reaction. But after MK’s recount, and after the five other times Macaque had suddenly froze up or bailed out on them, the issue had become rather obvious.
Macaque, for his part, seemed rather unbothered, sitting in the same relaxed position he’d been in before. Well, that is, except for his quick glance towards the rest of the group, who were huddled together in their sleeping bags. Macaque’s ear twitched, checking if they were all asleep, most likely. They were, of course. Wukong had ensured that, before he had begun this conversation.
After a moment, Macaque let out a long sigh.
“What problem?” He said, “I haven’t noticed any problem, other than your poor leadership skills.”
“One, ouch. I’m working on that.” Wukong held up a finger, and then held up another one, “Two. Speaking of working on things, you remember Spider Queen right?”
“Yeah. Kinda hard to forget that whole New Year’s. It was far louder than usual.”
Of course that’s what he remembered about it.
“Well,” Wukong continued, “MK… was scared of spiders. Still is, I think. Anyways, he worked through that, and he managed to fight her off just fine.”
“I don’t see what this has to do with me.” Oh, he absolutely knew exactly what it had to do with him, if the way he was sinking down in his foldable chair was any indication. If this wasn’t such a serious issue, Wukong would probably be smirking devilishly at him.
“I’m talking about your fear of snakes.” Ah, there was the more nervous reaction Wukong had been waiting on, Macaque’s fur bristling as he glanced over at the others again, before proceeding to stubbornly avoid eye contact with Wukong, who rolled his eyes. “It’s seriously starting to become a problem, man. MK was right, I don’t want to admit it, but we maybe could’ve used some of your help in that last battle.”
“You’re Sun Wukong, I’m sure you had things handled.”
“Aw, is that praise for me I hear? That’s rare coming from you.”
“Wh- no!” Macaque hissed, “Just- I could easily beat that guy, so clearly you- you probably handled yourself just fine.”
“Hm.” Wukong leaned forwards, resting his head on his hands. “And if you think you could ‘easily’ beat that dude, then why haven’t you?”
“Because I know you guys had it handled.”
“You can’t just keep using the same excuse over and over again.”
“Yes I can.” Stubborn, as usual, Macaque wasn’t the same guy who easily gave in to Wukong anymore. Wukong let out a breath, willing himself not to snap in frustration. That wouldn’t get either of them anywhere.
…That’s what Sandy had said at least.
“Look.” Wukong said, “I’m not going to bring it up to the others. But-”
“Are you about to blackmail me-”
“-if you keep bailing out on us-”
“-holy shit, you really are blackmailing me.”
“-I will stage an intervention. With everyone this time.” Wukong crossed his arms, “Trust me. They’re very effective.”
Macaque didn’t respond, other than a look of disbelief. Wukong at least expected him to respond with some comment about how Wukong must’ve experienced an intervention himself in order to know that, but instead the other monkey remained silent. After several moments passed, Wukong slowly raised an eyebrow.
“…Macaque?”
“The Monkey King is blackmailing me.”
Wukong let out a tired sigh worthy of his over a millenia of life.
~
“Alright, that’s it.”
MK looked up from where he had been watching Pigsy work on bandaging his arm just in time to see Wukong tackle Macaque to the ground. Macaque let out a screech as he went down, drawing the attention of the rest of the group as well.
“I tried to do this the nice way!” Wukong yelled, as he struggled to keep Macaque still, a feat made slightly difficult by how the other kept trying to turn into shadows. “But nooooo!! You just have to make things difficult! So guess what!”
“No!”
“That’s right, it’s intervention time!” Wukong seemed to finally get a good grip on Macaque, even though the other was clearly still struggling, he wasn’t getting anywhere anytime soon. “So, folks, I’m sure you’ve all been wondering-”
“Wukong, don’t-”
“-why has our little shadowy friend been bailing out of every fight?” Wukong ignored Macaque’s protests, instead turning to his audience. “Does anyone have any guesses?”
Truthfully, no. MK hadn’t even really given it that much thought. Bailing out on a fight purely for his own amusement had seemed like a Macaque move at the time… but the more Macaque struggled trying to get out of Wukong’s grip, and the more MK thought about the few times him and Macaque had actually been on the same side in a fight, the more that started to seem… inaccurate. Huh.
“No guesses? Huh. I thought at least one of you would’ve at least come up with something.” Wukong muttered, before continuing, “Well, the answer just happens to be that-”
“I cannot believe you’ve actually stooped to blackmail-”
“-Macaque here, is afraid of snakes.”
Dead silence. Macaque stopped struggling, instead pressing his face into the floor and remaining completely still. After a few seconds, Wukong got off of him, wrapping his tail around him as Macaque started to sink into the shadows of the floor, and lifted him up. Macaque stubbornly avoided eye contact with everybody.
“So.” Wukong said, gesturing at Macaque with his hands, “Any suggestions?”
Mei raised her hand, before seemingly remembering that she didn’t need to, and instead blurted out one simple statement;
“Blindfold.”
Wukong snapped his finger and pointed at her like she was a genius… for about a second, before he shook his head.
“We tried that way back when, but the noise they make creeps him out, so…” Wukong shrugged in a ‘what can ya do’ kind of way. Macaque used the fact that his legs were somewhat free to kick Wukong in the shin. Wukong himself didn’t even acknowledge it, though his eye twitched in a way that indicated he was ever so slightly annoyed. “Any other suggestions?”
Silence. Again.
…Something suddenly struck in the back of MK’s mind.
“…This might be crazy, but-” MK said, “Is it possible to put glamours on other people?”
~
Wukong watched with true sight as Macaque landed a solid kick into the Nine Headed Demon’s face, before letting out a sigh.
“…Could someone explain to me again why we chose to glamour him to look like me?”
MK skidded into place beside him, taking a brief break from battle.
“Something about wanting to punch your face overpowering his knowledge that underneath it is snakes.” He said. Wukong hummed.
“Remind me later when all of this is over to swap out his shampoo with blonde hair dye.”
“Will do.”
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