#wish i could make these but i simply dont have the time/energy rn :(

[scattered-winter]

in honor of s6 returning tomorrow, here's a collection of highlights from the 911 annotation doc feat. season 2 finale and tsunami arc (transcript below the cut)

hen sees a chance to make buck’s life living hell and she always takes it <3 older sibling behavior

chim: [hands buck a sledgehammer]

buck: >:D

I FORGOT [maddie] CAME INTO THIS EPISODE <33333

not to be dramatic but if my brother almost walked into the shower with me absolutely ass-cheeked naked i would simply require him to give me financial compensation

buck automatically assumes maddie is talking about eddie when she says someone’s cute

sir. buddy old pal.

press f to pay respects to the new ladder truck that lasts all of like 3 episodes before blowing up

these detectives are stupid as FUCK godbless <3

MADNEY

THEY’RE DISGUSTING. WHEN IS THE WEDDING <3

damn i wish it would rain money where i am rn

a guy comes falling onto a car out of a window and my first thought is “it’s raining men hallelujah”

EUEHHH ITS MAGGOT LADY ALSO

not the hair maggot lady. the other one.

the fact that i have to specify WHICH maggot lady it is. evil.

lmao i forget that. most 15 year olds dont have learner’s permits

i was driving farm equipment when i was 10 so im an outlier i guess

oh my god the hand on buck’s waist

homosexuals

[ID: a close-up screencap of eddie and buck hugging, with eddie's hand on buck's waist and buck's hands on eddie's shoulders. end ID]

do u see this shit mr krabs

[eddie] looks soooooooooooooo slutty in that white shirt oh my god

spiritual successor to the slutty black tank top

WOOOOOO HERE WEGO <333 MOST INSANE FEW EPISODES TO EVER GRACE NATIONAL TELEVISION <33333333333333333

i was a different person before watching the tsunami for the first time btw. after finishing this arc i was a Changed Man.

DO NONE OF THESE PEOPLE KNOW WHAT NO WATER MEANS. Y’ALL LIVE IN LA. YOU SHOULD KNOW.

WHY AREN’T YOU RUNNING

GET THE HELL OUTTA DODGE

GO GO GO GO GO GOG OG GO GOG OG GO GOG GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO

ghlsdkjfskg this guy wanting A Sign … my brother you got a fucking tsunami

poseidon said Fuck this guy

fuck it

au where the greek gods are real

i mean we already know zeus has it out for buck and eddie

it aint much of a stretch <333

LENA <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

i think she and lucy should have met onscreen tbh

or maybe not because the sheer dyke energy would be too powerful for the show to handle

and yes i know this show has a canon lesbian couple. irrelevant <3

ghlskdjg buck’s look of absolute shock after eddie looks him in the eye and says That….bitch me too the fuck

MAN AND [athena] HAS TO AMPUTATE A GUY’S ARM….

major props to her because i could NOT do that

i’d simply say Sorry bro i just. yeah i have a uh. thing. with a guy. i gotta go. bye <3

ghslkdgj [chim] makes a quip as he’s pulling up <333 ofc he does <33333

i fucking love him btw. in case u couldnt tell.

“we’re gonna need a bigger mail truck” the way you just KNOW he’s seen jaws

[yeoshi]

hello! do u know anyone else who make gif icons? im looking to get some made for some recent of beomgyu!!

hi! i think scrolling through the general gif icons tag (click here) will lead you to find some people who are accepting requests at this time. if anyone who’s following me or sees this in the tags is taking requests, feel free to leave a reply!!

edit: @lovcsickgirlz & @dreamrutine are taking requests right now!

[grlfriends]

revolutionary girl utena review

ep 1-5

the plot is actually kinda different from what I thought ?? in my mind the plot was: utena was a girl in a princess school who each and every princess would be "conquered" (for a lack of better words rn) in a ceremonial duel by a prince who fancied them, maybe she didnt wanna wanna marry anyone or she liked Anthy already but anyway in my mind utena showed up in the ceremony with duel clothing and then, in a very brave tm like-scene, she would openly declare she refused to be conquered by anyone and tbh I'm not even sure how Anthy would come into the plot... but back into what actually happened in the episodes everything so far is very introductory and just showing what mechanics will be explored further down the line I think?? the op is really good too

also every boy so far reminds me so much of knights of the zodiac?? maybe it's just the design I guess...) and nanami can get these hands, jealousy is a disease and she's the sickest person on earth for all I know

dont ask me why bit I just feel like room of mirrors - gfriend has a very well fitting vibe for it but I'm not exactly sure why hm.... 🤔🤔

ep 6-12

ok so why does this school just have random animals around 😐 I could understand the horse but a bull and a kangaroo?? what ...

touga just says the most random dramatic things and then just casually says anyone who believes in friendship is a fool ?? the guy wouldnt last a day in the naruto universe tbh, he kinda irks me in some way but I'm not sure why so I'll live with this strange feeling for a while I guess

↳ okay so watching ep 10 made me especially kinda creeped out, I know I've watched only 10 eps so far but like can he fall downstairs and break a neck or something already ...

also haha what if I watched that bet on it fmv and gave myself a bunch of spoilers would that be funny or what 😍 this is why i cant have nice things yall.... hope my memory goes to shit when sleep so I dont remember about it this week while I finish it

I feel like the main thing on the episodes are parallels, one way or another I always feel like they're setting up parallels and giving me clues for a bigger picture and a deeper plot arc that is still to come and the bet on it fmv just made this impression stronger, also I wanna say it's done in a good way, one that is both mysterious (??) and "honey you've got a big storm coming" at the same time 🤔🤔 much to think about honestly

↳ just saw ep 11 and even though I already knew this was coming sooner or later it still felt like crap seeing utena lose to dick head, at the end of the episode when he says anthy was always just reflecting utena's own wishes for himemiya (in another way bc I dont remenber the exact words) it felt like 😐 bc yes I knew that (the way she was working her thoughts was simply a copy and paste of what utena was saying) at all time I kept those essays about anthy in my head, I dont think theyll be truly relatable to what I'm seeing rn but yeah anthy rights (even though I know you betray/cheat on utena down the line bc of the bet on it fmv but I'm sure you had your own motivation)

↳ saw ep 12 bc I just couldnt handle being in a cliffhanger and yeah it happened what I absolutely thought it would lmao not that it was that difficult to foresee but yeah, I kinda liked how utena did it for her instead of being like "oh I wanna save anthy from touga" and treating her like a damsel in distress (I know that's kinda her position as the rose bride for what I've been told so far and that this is a subject spoken about in many many essays on tumblr but yeah) bc so far she's been treated as a trophy and a way to get something else, for the green haired guy it was a way to see something eternal, for miki it was a way to hold on into his "shining thing" and for touga it seems (so far) like a way to manipulate (just like he does with nanami) and just mark his position as above everyone else as he seems to view himself?? man I might be saying random stuff rn but it kinda does makes sense in my mind with the information I've had to this point

ep 13-25

honestly 😐😐 through 9 whole episodes I felt like they were trying to make the side characters deeper and show their hidden face and motivations but it felt so shallow...... not even actually shallow, just not deep enough that it would make me care about these characters and the fact there was no actual build to showing us why we're getting to know these characters backgrounds was just kinda meh too, didnt really help that all episodes had all the same formula and the same timing just for the developers made in those episodes be forgotten at the end and also just that pink haired guy could be like "ah failure again", it felt like watching the same episode over and over again, it was really tiring and like?? girl help I do not care about these characters at all, I feel like it could have been done well (like the keiko ep in comparison to the furuba chapter that deals with the yuki appreciation (??) club president graduating.... the way this ep was done and setup didn't really bring me any emotions) overall not to my taste and tbh I feel like I could have skipped all those episodes except for maybe the miki and juri one so 😑

all nanami focused episodes are the worst so far, she's so boring and I cant stand now annoying she is, the diary episode?? the cow episode?? the episode when tsuwabiki fuels with utena?? honestly I know they're trying to show me a better and different side of her but it just doesnt!! work!! bc i feel no sympathy for her, my biggest wish rn is her and touga just disappearing and no more filler episodes🗣🗣

I thought akio was utena's prince?? but apparently he's just anthy's brother and like.. I'm do done with his little talks with utena and yadda yadda, I just wanna see their duel is that too much to ask I'm dying over here (if this lenga lenga continues until ep 25 i will be so mad bc why were so many episodes wasted on such boring and and not necessary side characters backstories?? idc about them at all man aaaaaaaaaa)

↳ ep 25 was good finally we got what we deserve boys 😭😭😭😭😭 can utena just beat up akio already I'm tired of his ass, he exhales both "I'm a feminist I even take women studies classes #herstory" and "if she breathes she's a thot" energy also he has 0 style that mullet is simply horrible I bet there's a hairstylist community who considers him a criminal bc like 😐 it is simply so bad (q bit less when it's tied up but when it's all lose jesus Christ)

also touga thinks he's suuuuch a genius, sooo smart like king, I do not care about you at all can you shut the fuck up please and can we tall about the pink haired guy episode?? wack. honestly thought it would be more emotional or something, I binge watched 12 episodes with his ugly haircut face and did not even feel a thing he can choke I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ANTHY TAKING A SWORD OUT OF UTENA'S CHEST??? OSCAR WORTHY KINGS❗❗❗and then her lame ass brother being like "oh ho ho idk idk" shut up no one cares no one cares I swear to you no one cares shut uuuuup

ep 25-39

first of all, ep 25 was good but kinda reminded me of the nine episodes (13 until 21) where absolutely nothing interesting happened so I hope I'm wrong also can I just say just seeing the preview of the next episode made me roll my eyes so bad I almsot saw my brain?? bc yeah I'm fucking tired of nanami fosuced episodes she's so annoying oh my god nobody cares about a goddamn egg and much less one coming from her let her die or something pls she's so annoying there's nothing I've learned about her that was not against my own will I'm basically rotting over here 🤒

↳ ep 30 has me thinking Akio has a foot fetish or something 😐 bruh leave utena aloooooone I already know your plans and schemes you're not fooling anyone that's embarrassing for u and also... utena you're not very bright are you.... you start seeing every duelist you face with the same exact car and then when you see akio has the same car you didnt even stop to think about it that 1+1 equals 2 ... girl help yourself 😐

↳ yet again another nanami focused ep 😐😐😐😐😐 even though I do understand her better now I still don't find her particularly enjoyable to watch, call me a woman hater but like. idk she's still a bit annoying to me (but touga is straight up evil and is manipulating her so I feel bad for feeling like that tho.....)

↳ ok last 2 eps to go but listen. I thought the akio duel would have happened much sooner, maybe on ep 33 max but well didn't this age well lmao ngl, it did seem a bit too slow paced for my personal taste but also I feel like there's a certain level of drama that comes with slowing the pace down....

↳ aaaaaa yall I'm kinda 😢😭 over the ending omg........... even though it took the best of me to keep going in some parts I still enjoyed the ending aaaaa I thought i wouldnt really like it bc I just usually dont enjoy this type of ending but stil 😢😢😢😢 wait for me utena 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 girl I cried and then anthy walking in the end god utena and anthy holding hands 😭😭😭😭 akio can suck my dick

there's obviously many things I've missed or that I kinda didnt really pay attendance to so please dont take this serious, I was just writing as I watched the episodes so it's more like a thought compilation than anything, still I can see why there's many essays written about it and why it is held as a masterpiece by so many people

[mykpopconfession]

when kpop idols leave/step down/get kicked out only then do fans show how much they care when they desperately want their faves to be back… grow up. also they dont see how restricting the industry actually is and how much is really put into being an idol more than any western artist thats for sure, so i dont think fans fully appreciate their idols unless something happens to them then they suddenly matter more than their own sanity, dignity and self worth put together. its also like fans either arent satisfied enough with who the idols are so they keep wanting, needing and asking for more from them this is probably what happened to jennie & her “lazy scandal” its ridiculous, if idols have so much on their plate are working tirelessly to please the unappreciative fans, but then the fans criticise or scrutinise idols for just being freaking humans its scarily unhealthy both for the idols and the fans to be like that to them

dont put the same standard on someone else that you wouldn’t put on yourselves. i actually want bts to either step down from the lime light, join the military to do whatever the fck they want, date, marry, have kids so the fans will shut up for once about “their precious boys” bc no one can hate them, not a single soul can say crap about them

its creepy and borderline stalker like behaviour how “protective” they are over someone that they dont know and the likely hood of bts knowing them is slim so i dont get half the fans behaviours both online and in real life towards the members

bring your arse back down to reality for the love of god your life does not centre and isn’t defined by these 7 guys or any idol for that matter alone… surely one of them has got to leave soon enough and im sure more idols will, only time will tell. i wish they would’ve took the break in 2018 or whenever it was. fans dont even care to admit how fed up the idols probably feel from dealing with their own fanbase or having to give so much to the fans and have little energy for themselves

i was chatting to a friend awhile back, i kinda drifted away from because she was a lil like this, made bts her kinda obsession and even when we talked about their new music which im a fan of to some extent but i commented that i didnt like the recent songs all i got back was dont say that about bts… we’re both the same age and she seemed so mature but kinda got in her head that i was “attacking” bts for simply not liking every song they did. wow if thats what this humanity have come to then im glad im not like that

its simply fine to not fully be a fan, in fact it actually makes me enjoy and appreciate them more without the attachments to the members because to me they’re just some cool artists i enjoy but to others its like they centre their whole life around them to the point they forget to have interest in their own life, its become a complete distortion of their own reality since so much love and happiness is projected into 7 guys they wont ever know personally so when it comes to not being a fan or when a member leaves/gets kicked out its like suddenly the worst thing ever to the fans but i’d say it is how it is with any music industry, there’s rules to follow, contracts to abide by, they chose to be idols and become artists therefore it doesnt matter who they are but theres going to be some form of backlash or fall out and no amount of whining, pleading to the companies is going to change that

rules and guidelines are there for reasons u dont just go and break them when it could potentially ruin the image of the company / staff etc, theres so much more at stake than just the idols reputation when scandals happen cause theres much more to it than just ur “biases” alone… production teams, merchandisers, all these staff members that work tirelessly for them too could be put back bc of an idol deciding to act out of the normal or break some rules, do something they shouldn’t

sometimes its just for the better tbh, they can focus purely on themselves and regain their own freedom and rights rather than owing so much to the fans or the company. tbh i bet the idols get to a point where they’re like nope this is enough, does something *wrong* just to deliberately get out of the industry. cause surely they’re aware of what they do and what the rules, regulations must follow with being an idol. therefore they wouldnt deliberately go against it if they werent trying to get out or had enough of it. theres always going to be some type of fall out but stop acting like it affects you more than the idol when it has nothing to do with yourselves, you’re merely someone who enjoys them but so many care too deeply about it, plus its all legally done now u cant just up and out as u please so for idols to make that choice its not easy on them or the company they’re with

also what is with fans not allowing kpop idols to be truly themselves but when it happens to the likes of hyuna, woojin suddenly its considered okay after awhile it calms down but when it happens fans lose their dignity and self worth over something as minor as an idol leaving/being kicked out… theres probably a lot worse going on rn than what we see on the surface you all can be hypocritical or bashful of anyone you like, the company, the idols, the groups or you can simply accept that sometimes your faves arent who they appear to be, i know its a shocker to me too but what you see on camera is not what you get off camera, stop living like you know them, stop trying to protect and defend them for everything. live your own damn lives and focus on yourselves more than anything while still enjoying what you like but not to that ridiculous extent that its become… sadly

[yoongisgoawaydoormat]

Is yoongi your fave in bts? I just today stumbled over a video of bts and watched and now 100 videos later i really think i kinda like them and especially Yoongi. He is such a sweetheart. so as a fellow 1d stan now into bts i wanted to know if louis was your fave and if yoongi is in bts? Cause i find it quite interesting to know^^'

ok so i have some esoteric ramblings that go far beyond the yes or no question you asked me here lmao... i guess im just feeling very “in this essay i will-” rn because of how much i truly adore both of them. also this basically turned into a personal diary entry but also simultaneously a cultural studies essay on how we make meaning in celebrities so like..... 🤷🏼‍♀️

@gettingaphdinmomo can u believe this anon let me merge 1d and bts? im indebted to them tbh

so yeah yoongi is my bias in bts and louis was always my fave in 1d! (well zayn too but z isn’t a member of 1d - tho i think he relates to some of the points im going to make here as well) and coincidentally i’ve actually been doing like... some self-psychoanalysis recently just reflecting on what my affection for louis and yoongi says about me, says about them, etc... just been thinkin’ ya know?

and i just feel like yoongi and louis are 2 sides of the same coin and it’s a coin that i distinctly Relate to and i’ll explain why. both yoongi and louis have very distinct caricature-type reputations on the surface. both vis-a-vis their role in their respective groups and in relation to the personalities that we see/they show us. 

and what i mean by that is that louis is known as loud, brash, exuberant (formerly camp and flamboyant as well, though im not even gonna try to get Into A Discussion of That rn); to most people that do not take the time to go far beyond the surface, that’s kind of louis’ whole deal, right? (again this isn’t a discussion of public opinion of louis and doesn’t account for how his various stories/stunts/‘relationships’ would impact people’s view of him)... yoongi is sort of in the same boat but on the opposite end of the spectrum if that makes sense? he’s the tsundere member. he’s seen as cold, distant, has dry humor, doesn’t like to show affection, etc. that’s what the caricature of min yoongi is.

but everyone who is a fan of either of them knows that neither of those caricatures are wholly accurate and that the caricatures belie an emotional depth and intelligence that both of them very clearly possess.

we can never know even a fraction of public figures’ personalities, but to the small extent that we do get glimpses, yoongi and louis are both individuals who clearly care very deeply about others. they are attentive to the emotions of those around them and they are supportive and nurturing in their own ways. but at the same time neither of them are overtly touchy-feely about it if that makes sense? their empathy is exhibited subtly but it runs deep. their demonstrations of caring and compassion are nuanced behind layers of something else. 

for louis, i think there’s always a bit of humor layered on top of his emotional displays (i.e. giving liam a hard time about being a ‘lad’). and i see myself in that. i use humor as a defense mechanism and couch everything serious in my life in a joke, for better or worse. again, im not saying that that’s what louis is or does in real life, i’ll never know nor would i presume to, but i am saying that i see something of myself reflected in Louis Tomlinson™ and among a million other reasons to love him i think that is one of the reasons i’ve always been drawn to him. he’s so compassionate and caring but you have to make sure you’re not distracted by his bright loudness to miss it. in addition to seeing myself reflected in louis, i also admire so much about him that i am not but aspire to be more like. i wish i could be more extroverted like him and i wish i could be a bright presence for the people around me like i know he is. so with louis i see myself and i see traits that inspire me to go outside my comfort zone and push my own boundaries.

for yoongi, the soft sweet infp that he is, i think his emotional displays are equally as subtle and layered behind a bit of stoicism and a bit of introversion and a bit of being very carefully selective about who he lets in. his displays of affection and caring are alway there but are not done to be viewed and given great attention (i.e. his hand holding). i don’t think yoongi much likes being the center of attention and would much rather have his members be that (lol @ jimin) but at the same time he has moments where his energy just bursts forth. these are moments where he’s clearly so comfortable with his surroundings and the people he’s with that he feels no need to be measured or restrained. again, this is all my interpretation of what i see and is thus filtered and distilled so many times that i’d never presume to state all of this as some factual evaluation of yoongi’s personality, but also again, i see myself in these observations and interpretations of yoongi. i find it very difficult to express my emotions (see the above point about couching everything in humor) but they are there and they are felt deeply and they show themselves in subtler ways. i find it difficult to display affection with even my closest friends and family but am also just a touch-starved bitch looking to hold someone’s hand like yoongi is always doing. i too sometimes begin to feel comfortable enough with those around me that my passion and excitement just bursts forth all at once, but only sometimes, otherwise im hyper conscious of myself and tend to self-police if i have not reached such a comfort level. i see a lot of that in Min Yoongi™. but like with louis i also see a lot in yoongi that i strive to be more like. i struggle with the weight of my own expectations for myself and i internalize A Lot, as yoongi seems to, but yoongi also demonstrates such a clarity of self when it comes to these things. i think he Knows himself quite well, which is something i’d like to be better at. i think his self awareness (something i think namjoon also has in spades) and his work ethic are admirable and inspire me greatly. he just seems so Lucid Perceptive and Insightful about his situation, and that encourages me to be more honest with myself about my own situation.

and like maybe this is all just a diatribe that could be applied by anyone to their fave celeb? there’s levels to abstraction to every celebrity and there’s always interpolation/projection our own traits, neuroses, insecurities, desires, etc. onto how we view our favorite celebs... but idk there seems to be something slightly different with celebs like yoongi and louis (and zayn and namjoon actually now that i think about it). 

like let’s contrast it with other 1d and bts members: jin and hobi have carefully constructed the way they want to be seen and they don’t let people see much beyond that (and they’re So Valid for that). i actually think niall is quite a lot like this as well. the caricature is the whole picture that we get if that makes sense (though of course not even a fraction of the whole person which we are not nor should we be privy to) but its still a human picture, its still rooted in a sense and a feeling of authenticity; it just has its boundaries and is clear about those boundaries. thus the consumer public gets a discrete, self-contained persona whose likeability isn’t necessarily dependent on the consumer’s ability to relate or see themselves in the persona but rather is simply likeable!

then you have liam and jungkook who i see as quite similar in some ways for some reason (which im sure is gonna get me yelled at lmao). i dont mean that i think they’re similar people just that i think both of them are quite earnest and what you see is what you get with them. i don’t think either of them have it in them to pull a jin/hobi/harry (see below) and construct/be viligent about the boundaries of their persona. i think tae and jimin are mostly like this as well. they’re all just kind of unapologetically themselves (liam particularly after 1d ended, tho i know that, ironically, many feel he’s a bit of a poser nowadays)? i see these types of figures as similar to the type above just with less stable boundaries/less concern for those boundaries.

then you have harry whose caricature is constructed to be larger than life, to be almost non-human in its Celeb-ification. Harry Styles™ is not meant to allow for reflection of yourself in it. the consumer is not supposed to find parts of themselves relating to Harry Styles™, that defeats the purposes of the larger than lifeness of Harry Styles™. (i know this sounds bad and don’t get me wrong i do hate harry lol but i also don’t think this is an inherently Bad way to be a celebrity. it’s the david bowie, lady gaga [pre-joanne] school of celebrity and its fine, i just think it should be recognized for what it is and i think its very different from how bts and the other members of 1d operate [though i recognize that some people would view zayn in this light]).

personally i think yoongi and louis (and zayn and namjoon, to account for everyone in this analysis here) don’t fit into the above categories. clearly i dont think any of these four are in the Harry Styles™-type camp (duh). but i also don’t think they fit into the authentic-but-carefully-boundaried jin/hobi/niall camp nor the what-you-see-is-what-you-get liam/maknae line camp. i think these 4 occupy a limbo space between the two ‘categories.’

anyways, the long and the short of it is that we all make our own meaning in celebrities. for me, i find myself drawn to yoongi and louis because i see traits of my own reflected back at the same time and in the same person that i see aspirational traits. im inspired and im comforted by this duality that yoongi and louis provide for me. i love all the members of 1d and bts (except harry lolz) but yoongi and louis (and zayn and namjoon, who i’d say is my 2nd bias in bts if that wasn’t already clear) hold special places in my heart because of how they occupy my sort of nebulous fourth category of celebhood.

anyways, i’m pretty sure no one is still reading this, which i do Not blame you for, but that’s my two cents! i love min yoongi and louis tomlinson, whats new!!!!!!!!!

[peachyjie]

My Pick || Zhu Zheng Ting

A/N : All of you needs to know how giddy I am from getting floods of request rn. And most of them strikes my interest. All of you should know how i am dying writing this, my feels!. So pls, kill yourself in some fluff Enjoy

Requested : Yes, thank you for making me soft with your request anon. (Request still open! Fill it in Fluffers! 💕)

P.s : show some love for Huba in Drowned I gotta promote my boy, ma love, pls he needs to eat also

Pairing : Zhu Zheng Ting - Reader (a 98!liner)

Genre : slight!angst + fluff

Summary : It doesn’t take too long until your bestfriend could hide himself from you, and what if he started spilling his tea little by little?

————•————

Zhu ZhengTing is screwed, he knew he was.

The moment he knew he has a crush, wait no-slash that. A huge crush on you, he knew he is screwed.

He stared at you bickering with Justin, trying to take away his Pizza knowing every boys here is on a diet. And by diet, meaning moody Yuehua childrens

“Just one bite, Y/N!”, Justin wailed. You gently smacked his head and glared at him.

Zhengting stared at you in adoration, in awe.

“It’s only day one of your diet, Huang MingHao. Deal with it!”, you huffed. Taking away his food and giving it to the manager who happily ate it.

You started to go near a pouting Chengcheng and started doing his hair. Knowing Chengcheng is on his moody mood right now, you’re not gonna be pulled into his sulk.

By mood, you meant his diet. By diet, meaning a grumpy PMS-ing Fan ChengCheng.

So you quietly did his hair, hearing a small hmph and meanie in every time you make eye contact with Chengcheng in the mirror.

You just shurgs it off and laughed at his suffering

You’re their stylist, personal stylist. The company decided to take someone in to be the boys personal stylist and caretaker, hence wanting to make it more easier, they took someone who’s not too old, too young, but in between.

You, a 98 liner girl. Fresh, young and responsible.

And like the company predicted, the first time you were introduced. The boys started flooding you and now became inseperatable.

So in the end, you’re their caretaker. Or a mom. Which suits best

Basically if you’re not doing their hair or painting their face with expensive makeup brands, you’re nagging them like a crow, chasing them away from any more problems.

“Next”, you called out. You spun around locking eyes with Zhengting. Zhengting breath hitched, how much more beautiful can you get.

“Ting-ge, come on”, you gestured towards him. Zhengting just nervously walks and sat down, you stared at him with a soft gaze and smiled.

“Sorry if the boys are giving you a handful”, he said when he felt you’re starting to apply some foundation on him. He heard you laugh, he swore this is far better than hearing Zhangjing’s singing.

“I could say the same to you, Mama-Ting. You’re probably gonna break your neck because you kept whipping them around managing those hyperactive boys”, he hummed. Smiling in gratefulness.

“Are you going to watch us perform later?”, Zhengting ask in a soft voice. You smiled.

“I would never miss any of your performances in my whole life, Ting-ge”

You started moving to his hair, gently combing it. Zhengting was always giddy in this styling moment. Because it’s the only time he could feel your touch.

He met you 7 months ago, but he swore he felt like he already knew you for 7 years. He knows the boys felt the same also.

It always sucks when he and Justin had to go back and forth from Korea to China for training. It was the time he felt dreaded because he can’t see you. And he will miss you.

But for the last 4 months, he is stuck with you. He couldn’t get more happier. He didn’t even regret going on suffering in intense training in Idol Producer. It was worth it.

In conclusion,

Zhu ZhengTing has a major crush on you.

He is itching to tell you how he feels about you, but he doesn’t know how. Zhengting knew sooner or later his liking will soon be spilled, but he just can’t risk it.

He can’t

He can’t risk you getting fired just because of his feelings for you. He can’t risk getting in your wah for a bright future, even if he’s just 2 years older than you, he can’t risk it. You’re talented and deserves everything, and Zhengting is not your everything.

But mostly. He can’t risk your friendship. He can’t risk you being traumatized if he confess. He can’t risk you drifiting away once he confessed.

He can’t risk losing you

Little did he know, he lets out a sigh which made you catch on. “A pizza for your thoughts?”, you tried to bribe him with his love for food

He smiled, but you noticed the lack of light in his eyes. He shook his head and stood up knowing he is done with his makeup.

You stared at his retrieving figure, a worried look in your eyes. You were about to catch up with Zhengting, but at the same time Justin decided to make a new mess. Losing the chance again, you thought

“I am so nervous, Y/N”, you laughed when you see Justin jumping in his seat on the way to the stage where they would film Idol Producer for the last time.

“Stop jumping around, Minghao. Your makeup will fly away later”, you joked causing a laugh from him.

Zhengting just quietly stared at you, why does be feel so weak. He needs to move on, he have to move on.

When all of you arrived at the venue, you hugged all the boys goodluck. You stood in front of Zhengting and smiled.

“I wish you my luck, Zhu Zhengting”, you hugged him. He took the time to have you in his embrace for a little longer before forcing himself to pull back. “Thank you”, he said kissing your forehead. Leaving you stunned as he ran to catch up with the other members.

You kneeled down, hiding in the corner of the room. The manager looked at you worriedly and asked if you were okay.

You simply nodded vigorously, a hand in your mouth. Face burning.

You would be lying if you say you didn’t have the slightest crush on Zhengting. Especially since you’ve known him far before Idol Producer.

So applying as their stylist didn’t make you think twice. Not just because of your love to style, but also because of Zhengting himself.

You noticed how he always works twice as hard than anybody else, you always have to drag him to sleep or he will die. You always know how much he wanted this, so bad he would sacrifice anything. You know how this matter to him. But he never realizes that you do.

And this time, he made it

You stared in awe, eyes shining as you see him walking down to a big stage. He stopped in the middle of the long road and simply stood there.

You were confused, why did he stop? Then you noticed, his gaze. His stare is on you, eyes filled with many emotions.

Happiness, pride and adoration. But there was something missing. The sparks of light in him wasn’t there. His eyes doesn’t light up, it was like he’s giving up. But on what?

Then he opens his mouth, mouthing to you from afar. Your breath hitched when you made out what he was trying to say. To you

I regain energy in your smile

Every moment that you are by my side

I will always watch over you

You didn’t notice tears lining in your vision, you had to turn around when he walked to the stage. Sniffling, you couldn’t help but feel content.

When you saw him in the backstage, you didn’t wait too long and just grabs his hand. Dragging him into an empty hallway.

He stared at you when you stopped. You spun around, a proud smile on your face. You took his hand and opens them. You gaze at him, still smiling.

“You did it, Zhu ZhengTing”, you showed him a pin.

Zhengting stared at it in surprise. The pin that held the logo of Produce101. He stared at you in shock, how did you have this.

He was about to question you, but before he did. He felt his eyes closed as your lips came in contact with his.

He swore he is nearing heaven, because if this is a dream, he swore he would kill everyone. When you pulled apart, you looked at him expectant.

“This”, you motioned to the pin. “You don’t know how much control you have on me. Especially since i followed you in Produce101c i made sure to put a vote on you everyday, Zhengting. When you didn’t make it, I remembered how heartbroken i was”

Zhengting smiled a little. Swelling in his heart. He never knew how you were his fan, and knowing you like him back without even needing to confess.

“Seeing you finally get what you deserve, what more can I ask?”, you laughed. “Knowing you for almost a year now, getting close to you made me realized i dont just adore you as an idol, Ting.”, he smiled wider.

“Seeing your hardwork, training. Until i had to drag your ass to bed and feed you was far more than a workout for me”, he laughed. He does gives you more work than ever. But that never stops you to care for the boys, that never stops you to care for him also.

“That didn’t stop me,Zhengting. Because the longer i know you, the more i fell for you. I like you, Zhu ZhengTing”

Is he is in heaven right now? Becasue, his crush, the crush he adore and love, the one where he was giving up on. His feelings wasn’t turned down, he didn’t need to feel any anxiety from being afraid to get rejected.

Zhengting didn’t even care if there’s someone walking down the hallway, or if this going to be a big headline for tomorrow’s news. He just smashed his lips on you. The feeling of desperation and needs fills the kiss before it turns into a soft affectionate one. You both smiled in the kiss.

“You don’t know how long, and how badly I wanted this to happen”, he said as he rest his forehead on yours, bumping his nose with a wide smile pasted on his.

“I love you, Y/N”, he sighs. Giving you a small peck, he smiles more. “Thank you for choosing me”, you smiled at him.

“You will always be my pick, Zhengting”

And you left a small peck on his lips

[suspendedfl00r]

Hello,

My soul yearns for a good write to try to make sense of my world right now. I haven’t found the most success writing pen to paper; due to the fact I’m always tired and fall asleep or just feel guilty like I should be doing other thinks like work. This narrative follows my overall process with creation which is fine cause sometimes you gotta just focus on school. I am curious if I should just delete all my social media apps again. Also curious as to why I feel I need adderall to function. I essentially dream of days where I can just wake up at a normal time get out of bed and just do life. Getting energy for breakfast and working out, and being more delicate with the way I nourish myself. I guess that goes in more ways than one as even considering the media and conversations I intake + the things I exchange energy and time with being different. I wish to spend my free time reading books, eating cleaner maybe plant-based, working out doing yoga, painting drawing embroidering tinkering with electronics, tinkering with models making clothes, drawing imaginary architecture, making models of it. Writing poetry, playing the guitar, making YouTube videos, + beautiful media.

I guess when I think of all the things I wish I could do I get so distracted from the present. I’ve been trying to detach from this idea I have of myself just being better and accepting myself as I am in order to be more real about moving into those spaces I wish to fill. What I mean by that is: rather than looking at my art, the architecture I’ve done, or think about what I have done and how it is not enough compared to where I wish to be; I’m trying to shift my energy towards being happy I have these skills and I’ve done what I have as experiments as a process. Rather than distilling fear into these areas of my life wondering if I’m good enough or what I’ve done is good enough, I wish to be at that place where I am just doing, experimenting not being held back by my fears or yearnings to be comfortable in my bed. But jumping out of bed to try something new, or planning my meals and bed time carefully so I do have time to squeeze in all these dreams and aspirations making use of all my time, energy, and money rather than just sitting in my room waiting for the opportunity to present itself.

Anyway that is the first layer of my mind the second layer consists of my responsibilities and having confidence in my movement. Staying focused and not getting distracted.// so I gues this has three dimensions work, school, personal life: lately I’ve been loosing slee from the demanding rhythm of life: working the two jobs has been a great blessing and learning process. However it has been really rough lately just to get out of bed and go to the work that pays the bills: which annoys me cause In the back of my mind I overthink about how I am perceived in the work place. Also T.A.‘ing has been super stressful. I guess I’m putting too much effort in the wrong places: with the professor I am bothered with how unorganized and over assigning work, the kids are just assholes that takes shit to the dean after I spent two days pulling all nighters to give them feedback. The whole class has been a shit show, and I feel both the students and the professor lack to take responsibility and I am just in the middle trying to help, but not doing so well as I’ve not taken this class. Also underplayed and forgetting to clock my hours.

Concerning my own classes I just pretty much fell behind the last couple of weeks from just lacking focus, which needs to be addressed as a real issue because no matter what I have to shoot for the A+ and practice statics so hard that I pass the class with flying colors I am definitely doing better than previous semesters but I want to have all of this class understood and down pat. So I will not struggle in solids next semester. Overall my biggest issue is that worksite from both jobs has been prioritized over my course which is due to the fact of paying bills, paying for school, and buying adderal(also been hard to find)

So as far as my personal life it is just a ball of stress and money especially when thinking about the car how I need to fix it. Wanting to have a good relationship with my family. Having kam around really helps but also adds to the stress as I’m usually a concerned about feeding us, overly sharing of my drugs and time. He is a Superman the way he works and I wish the best for him but I also realize I must see my self in the same light, and sometimes I see him as not having g his shit together and literally needing my help and this is wrong because that view reflects on the way I look at myself. His presence I really value but I often catch myself using him as a blanket to run away from my responsibilities. So as I feel myself with him, I see what I’m doing how it makes me crazy and I want him to just take care of all my problems for me the way I try to do for him. So essentially I find myself creating cycles of overdepency or toxic interdependency where my movement is based on his. Which is bad because we do move entirely different. He is so important to me because I feel he is my only friend really who gets me and hears me out and doesn’t judge me like my family does, while also loving me and actually caring instead of just using me like many of my friends do to just fill up their time as they run from their loneliness. He reminds me of reasons to be happy, while also reminding me that the stresses of the real world are real but you just do it.

so all in all I am doing okay and I still have time to do everything I want In this life and even this semester. My creative pursuits do not need to be happening now, however I am preppingg for them by focusing on my priorities of the now.

Which seem so jumbly because the lack of sleep. But really it’s simple!

Top priority: take care of yourself first! Eat nourishing food sleep at good times, exercise when you can and Allow yourself time to breathe. Stop worrying about how you are perceived and out overthinking to rest. Simply be gentle and loving to yourself by showing up for life. Nurture ur growth first. Before you consider Anyone or anything else!!

Priority #2 pass statics!!!

Study what you did not understand!! Chapter 21-22 then refresh on all the things you found tricky. Do all the exams and remember to not depend of reference material.

priority 03 pay bills/work

First acknowledge you need to be a good worker so stop delaying and pushing g things off. Just get them done, show up on time.

-stop breaking your back for people who will not notice/care

-to be avoid worker simply do the job you don’t have to go above and beyond but do the job well. ThAts it.

-do not let your jobs affecut your emotions: you are not defined by them in anyway and you are just there to do the work and make money. Dont over give, demand respect and don’t be a push over: be confident and focuses that your time and energy must be conserved to focus I. School: stop feeling guilty about work. Feel grateful that you are lucky to have two jobs during this plague! So echa me ganas.

As far as TA’ing

Get grades in but have a plan!!

Grade all project one and 2 then enter the rest of the grades

Also stop overworking yourself here for pretty much nothing. It’s not worth it girl. The professor and students jobs are not ur responsibility!

-do not let it get in the way of statics

Final remark: so yes I might feel super flakey about work life rn: but those spaces are temporary and do not let it distract you from the mission to graduate As the architect engineer master crafter!!! To learn! You are not the only flake everyone is struggling and you have a lot on your plate which you have communicated. So do not wear the guilt of the working world. You are a student and you get to participate in the work I g world and as long as you communicate and so your job you are ok!!

-as far as today go in to work

Focus on staying concentrated!!

Do good work

Tomorrow is a day off you can catch up then!! Also be happy share positivity with yourself and others!

You are doing fine! There is a lot going on but it will calm down! You got this!

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE TWO

“I'm starting to feel more comfortable with my position in the game.” - dem

HOH: Josh C UPSIDE DOWN: Nick & Joshua NOMINEES: Emma & Nash POV: N/A FINAL NOMINEES: N/A EVICTED: Dem (Expelled)

EMMA

I been struggling in this game which is sad i want to have fun but yesterday made me feel like maybe having a meltdown and leaving 90 percent of servers was a good idea for me i really hope not i just really want to have fun and win for some reasons i always have trouble prejury in games trying to find my footing but at jury and late prejury i always know how to rise ASDFGH the people i really like rn are Jakey loml jev loml aria queen saira queen and also joshua is easy to talk too!!! nathan is also great

DEM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSgjyUhGTng

NASH

i simply think men should stop winning hoh and trying to nom me. its week 2 go target someone else j*sh. jev and i are cool now though <3 love him

DEM

I'm starting to feel more comfortable with my position in the game. I think I'm not in anyone's bad graces so far, which is good. But I really need to win one of these next HoH's so secure my social relationships. My plan moving forward is to see win HoH's. I want to win the next to HoH's I'm eligible in back to back. I also want to try to secure my relationships with Gina, Jev, and Jake. Those are three people I want to be close with in this game. Also maybe Joshua? He's pretty cool and chill.

SAIRA

I'm still getting a sense of how the game works but I feel pretty good, there are some people that are much easier to talk to than others but everyone is still so nice! i feel good about josh c as hoh! we get along pretty well and I don't THINK im in any danger but you never know! imma be honest, I don't have an actual plan, i'm mostly playing this by ear, just talking to people, bullying beck when the chance arises, and being myself! 

JOSH C

HELLO GIRLIES!

well, we won HOH and that's really EXCITING. i probably didn't need to win this week but i figured that i'd get a win under my belt while nominating people would still be EASY. i can establish trust with some people and get a "i didn't nom you, please don't nom me" situation going on. i also feel like the two people i'm going to nominate would have NOMMED me anyways because we just haven't talked..

who those people are? nash & emma. (vl don't hate me for only nominating women i didn't want it to come to this either)

but i just.. both of them have really only put in any effort to talk to me now that i'm HOH and i don't really LOVE that tbh. i've already told a few people that's who i'm thinking so i kind of accidentally locked myself in on these noms because there isn't any sense in throwing out more names than i have to!!

i have an alliance with kiki, brianna, jacob, jake, and aria. (i think that's the people in it? i wanna say that's right. LKFMSDG love this game for me) and i feel pretty good in that because i like all of them enough and they're people that will watch out for ME and each other. but i know my social connections go beyond that so i'm feeling pretty good with my spot in the game? i have a solid relationship with almost everyone in the game and i think i should be able to play a cute lil utr game for a few weeks. i don't think that i'll get targeted first if my alliance gets outed and if so.. i have ENOUGH faith in my comp strength and relationships to save me against MOST of the cast.

people kind of want me to nominate DEM because apparently he starts drama with people and has been a bit inactive. he's talked with me more than other people so im not super keen on throwing him on the block RIGHT AWAY but i'm thinking he's a good replacement nom because if people think he's MIA then no one other than him will be upset with me. maybe a backdoor? could be spicy..

i don't really know what else to say here so.. i hope this is enough! love u guys <3

BRIANNA

https://youtu.be/mJw3qxsZ-Bg

JEV

Okay so I feel like pretty comfortable this week because me and Josh have gotten pretty close and bonded over our mutual love of Lucas HOWEVER he's just let me know he's gonna be nominating Nash and Emma which isn't GREAT since I'm in alliances with both of them and they're the only 2 alliances I have so I really wouldn't want to see either of them go home this week, this SUCKS ASS

JAKE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tt2xRQqqax8

ARIA

how is it ONLY week 2 i feel so hecking exhausted fhsabfd, but that might also be the fact that is 2 am so,,,oop. Um okay recap time!!!! Recaps are so hard because theres minor details that i still want to note without seeming super annoying so heres a minor list of things im noticing 

-Dem wants to "start playing the game" I told this to Jake (wish i could bold names ugh)

-Gina & dem told me they were gunning hard for hoh- i told nathan/monty/nick/,,,,and someone else this

-emma feels unconnected from cast

-Jake doesnt like Gina

-Josh likes Me Jev Kiki (told joshua)

-emma knows alliances are starting to form

-joey can get pwr hungry and chaotic + good comp ability

-told gnia my thoughts on the sides being "connected v unconnected" and other tidbits of info

-GIna (potentially joshua) doesnt like nash

-Nathan/Nash ARE CLOSE!!!!! WEE FUCKING WOO!!!!

-Told Jake that Jacob has the power (and the bs excuse he told gina pretending he doesnt have it,,,sure jan)

-jake is GREAT at lowering his threat lvl im sick

-Jev-Josh-Nathan-Nash all bonded p well on vc potentially an alliance

-jake tried to get gina nominated

-Emma Nash noms

-Jake doesnt want emma to leave

So,,,thats what you missed on GLEE! Honestly glee sucks but yeah thats all my info i would weave everything together with cute transitions but im TIRED and lots of this information doesnt really connect well so,,,have a bullet list! 

okok nvm heres some general thoughts bc JUST a bullet point list is so boringgg im honestly not too sure what i want to do this week bc i think emma doesnt have a lot of people (although she has jake apparently,,,she might just be putting up a front of being unconnected ffs) so i would rather keep her around based on our relationship alone esp compared to nash whose been busy w/ irl things to reply i think (nash would prob do gr8 in old school bb,,,but new school is a whole other beast) HOWEVER!!! I need to protect gina who isn't the best conversationalist (sorry bb ily but its true <3) and keeping nash around ensures people have another "inact" target besides her but also nash is such a god connection for people like nathan and jacob and i would rather get her out sooner than later before we have another renee on our hands ...

Also i havent talked to the pasio peeps (omg if we ever make an alliance,,,that should be the name hehe) in a while and idk if theyre distancing themselves or if theyre just busy fndsjafd god im too paranoid for this game its awful. Also i think i mentioned the alliance with josh kiki bri jake jacob last time and it still isnt made and im PRAYINGGG it never gets made bc i have SUCH an awful feeling like SIX FUCKING PEOPLE??? S I X?? THAT IS GOING TO FAIL AND BLOW UP!!!! but i cant say no to an alliance so here i fucking am :/ also im trying to think of my longevity in this game and like,,, idk im nervous. I mean ive mentioned going to the end with multiple people but i have such a bad feeling im gonna go out 9/10 as a big move and i REFUSE to let that shit happen, not on my fucking watch no sir!! Not sure what to do about it yet but i feel like monty in particular doesnt trust me and i need his ass OUT! or maybe not if he comes around but like??? sir pls talk to me- i mean this phase of the game is early im setting up the pawns for later, but before later theres gonna be a couple explosions of my game which i'll have to deal with,,, or maybe not actually i mean in my first org i did a really well mastermind game with it- nvm it did explode on me once FDBSHFDS yeah so theres gonna be an explosion period but i think im getting good at dealing w/ the backlash from it and reintegrating myself..

oh also yeah im safe this week lol

anyway sorry for rambling so much LMAO have a trust ranking!

1.Gina (MY QUEEN!!!!!!!! i LOVE her!)

-BIG BIG FUCKING GAP-

2.Jake (listen,,,my thoughts go back and forth but he did tell me the noms so,,,have some rights)

3.Saira (we never talk game but i dont think she talks with anyone about game beyond maybe nick and also shes nice and im a sucker for nice girls)

4.Emma (if this isnt all just a front shes gonna make a great number for me,, might need to fact check some of her statements tho)

5.Joshua (honestly? i love him hes so funny and i think he has my back although he could be more act)

6.Nathan (literally havent talked in 3 days but also i have a soft spot for him <3)

-GAP-

sorry the Js are just kinda scary lmao JFNSDKF

7.Nick (!! we gotta an actual connection folks!! heck yeah!)

8.Josh c (im safe! but he D E F trusts others more than me such as Joshua and Jacob)

9.Jev (honestly a king but hes a little quiet although his reccs are the BOMB)

10.Jacob (i know youre being sneaky,,,idk what youre being sneaky with but im getting the vibes)

11.Dem (might be weird but i think he trusts me? at least a little bc he ranted about losing to me so O.0)

12.Brianna (youre adorable and deserve the world but everyone likes you,,,is this how people view me omg fhsabfhds)

13.Kiki (youre SO hecking sweet and actually u probs have a connections to nash but we havent talked ANY game yet)

14.Nash (p,,p-please talk to me uwu)

15.Joey (i dont trust you at ALL! Why? good question-)

was that mean? sorry in advance ilyall but also its 3 am brain empty no filter

NASH

i think jev and nathan might end up being good allies of mine (inb4 betrayal)! despite the mistake he made nomming me, talking to jev has been lovely so far he's getting me into loona LMFAO. and i just love nathan's energy & i feel like as the season goes on i can see him winning comps. i'm excited :3 hope josh c does not end my existence this week

JOEY

I feel FANTASTIC about Josh being HoH. I’m making sure that others are coming to me about gameplans, and I’m making sure I don’t come off as too pushy or aggressive in PMs. With most of the players, I’m trying to give them all the same energy and hype. It seems kinda weird to say this, but I’m not concerned about being nominated at this point. What I need to ensure is building my social relationships with people outside the “Crackhouse”, and yes that big ol friend group moved to Discord in 20 minutes like 6 months ago. 

This is the first major game I’ve ever played with Skinny Nick(yes, I’m absolutely confused as to what to call them, I’m so used to calling Nick “Eve” that its going to take time to adjust.) Speaking of Nick, my social relationship with him is actually surprisingly similar. In the past, I felt as though it would be as “on-sight” as Tom & Jerry, and it actually isn’t turning out that way, which is surprisingly refreshing. Every day, I’m making sure I send Nick something different to diversify my social game with them. Yesterday, I asked Nick about his preferred streaming services for music and TV, and I discovered we have the same music service(Apple Music).

I’ve played one game with Monty before, but it was a disaster. We were in pairs, and it felt like we were on different planets. I did tell him to not worry about personal feelings when it comes to this game, because I compared the relationship of BB Netflix and the Crackhouse to the separation of church and state. I made that comparison because the two entities of church and state should never cross, but when they do it becomes disastrous, and I feel as though that same principle applies to this game.

Overall, I feel good, Emma may be going up on the block, but it shouldn’t affect me that much. We’re in the early stage, I want to make sure I’m good with everyone.

ARIA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFeox7LM1-E

JAKE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLkZ-BIIjTU

HOUSE MEETING

https://youtu.be/BZMorvWvyKY

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT WEEK 1 & 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc-iMpkfrdw&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=3&t=0s