#with a hefty jigger of almond syrup

[vpgoldenrod]

The Sweetener is a Lie: The True Meaning of “A Hefty Jigger of Almond Syrup.”

I'll fight the coffee theory with my dying breath, and if Neil Gaiman somehow actually planned it, I'll fight him too. I'll fight everyone.

It's bad storytelling to force characters into major choices not made of their own volition, especially when it comes at the expense of character development. It does seem like most people have moved past it, so harping on about it is unnecessary. But the one point that the Coffee Theory made that always puzzled me was the way the almond syrup goes from “a dash” to a “hefty jigger.” They're side by side in the script, and while writers are fallible, it's far too obvious to be a mistake. But then this morning I stumbled onto this analysis of the coffee scene and the more I think about it, the more this seems like Gaiman's genuine intentions.

We all know how much Aziraphale likes sweets. It's pointed out over and over throughout both seasons. But Aziraphale doesn't just love sweets: they're also his go-to when he's stressed. When Gabriel shows up on Aziraphale's doorstep, Aziraphale doesn't know what to do. He's distraught and confused. And what is his go to when he's stressed? Sweets. So he makes Gabriel a cup of hot cocoa. When Muriel shows up later he's hospitable, but he's not intimidated or stressed so he makes her tea.

When Aziraphale asks Nina what calms people down, she doesn't offer him tea, the most obvious choice for a coffee shop. Again, the writers even make the point in a subsequent scene that Nina has multiple herbal tea options. Nina has never met Crowley before, but Nina knows Aziraphale. She remembers the regulars, not by their names but by the things they order. When posed with the question she pauses, and thinks about it. No, the weird man who owned the bookshop across the street doesn't have tea when he's stressed. What calms him down? Oh, I know! SWEETS. So she offers him Eccles cakes, a pastry originally created for religious reasons then banned by the Puritans they were too sinfully good. A little bit like Crowley, huh?

Crowley is “Mr. Six Espressos in a Big Cup,” but Aziraphale is “Mr. Hot Cocoa and Eccles Cakes,” and the Metatron knows this. So what's the best way to ensure that Aziraphale is reassured, but not actually calm? Ah, yes, offer him something sweet, but don't actually give it to him. Promise a hefty jigger of sweet syrup, then give him some bitter coffee with a little syrup. Suddenly the Metatron isn't such a bad guy. Sure, the coffee wasn't actually sweet, but the Metatron probably didn't know what he was doing, right? He may have ingested things in his time, but he hasn't lived on the Earth like Aziraphale. It's an understandable mistake, but he was trying. He smiles and makes a half-hearted attempt to enjoy it.

Suddenly there's the bitter coffee of returning to heaven as Supreme Archangel. Aziraphale doesn't want that. He implies that he wants something sweet as he gestures to the coffee that isn't actually sweet. Then the Metatron offers him a hefty jigger of almond syrup: Crowley. There's no way the Metatron would know that Crowley would never return to heaven. It's heaven! And Crowley is good. The Metatron wouldn't offer him a sweet coffee that was intentionally bitter. He's trying to be kind. He's not a bad guy, he simply misunderstood what he was offering.

The point of the Metatron's bumbling little old man act isn't just to make himself relatable, it's to give him plausible deniability. The gambit worked in the short term, but I'm looking forward to finding out how that works out in the long run.

[cassieoh]

hhh okay, the Metatron really specified the name of the drink: Oat Milk Latte (with a hefty jigger of) Almond Syrup

OMLAS

Omelas as in, "the ones who walk away from - "

[vidavalor]

Thank you so much for all your wonderful metas - I enjoy them a great deal. I hope I am not going over old ground here, but I have just finished your defence of Aziraphale's choice (which I agree with 100%) and it has prompted me to ask your opinion of the following:

Having witnessed the Metatron impose upon Aziraphale's good will and impeccable manners and endless sense of obligation with a sodding coffee, WHY did Crowley allow the angel to leave with this wily, manipulative being?

Now, admittedly, Crowley did get to his feet and follow them briefly (after being on the receiving end of that terrifyingly pointed glare from the Metatron) but is immediately distracted by Muriel and thoughts of breakfast with Aziraphale.

This is the same demon who is never still. Always wary, always on guard, always patrolling. Yet, after that ridiculous coffee conversation, after Aziraphale looks to him for direction ("Ummm.."), after that glare, he just waves the angel off on his way for a chinwag.

I actually wrote the scene out so that I could "see" it differently, but it did not help me come to any conclusions.

I would LOVE to know what you think.

Sorry. I wittered on a bit there. 😊

Hi @vernajarrett 💕 Thanks for reading & asking! I'm happy to chat about what I think is going on in the moment Crowley acts like a pod person and Derek Jacobi's character gets all that Big Damn Villain Music in the score. I've got the coffee brewing. Oat milk and a dash hefty jigger of almond syrup? 😜

To answer why Crowley is acting so massively weird during the part of 2.06 that you mentioned, we have to start a little before it with the arrival of the last visitor to the bookshop in S2:

a character played by Derek Jacobi:

When the last new character to arrive at the bookshop door in S2 first arrives, we are down to six other characters in the shop. Five of them-- Aziraphale, Muriel, Michael, Uriel and Saraqael-- are angels and the sixth character-- Crowley-- is a demon. Upon the arrival of Derek Jacobi's character, all five of the angels fail to recognize this person. This is a true shock to us because we think we know who this is, right? That's The Metatron.

We know what The Metatron looks like; we've seen his head quite dramatically huge and in our face on several occasions. We feel qualified to say that if Sir Derek Jacobi shows up it must mean that we're looking at The Metatron. What we tend to ignore is... well, everything else that happens here lol... all of which says we are incorrect about this.

First off? All of this is just (entertainingly) weird: The Metatron is a floating head who thinks himself above humanity but he's here now in a body on Whickber Street. He abhors food but he's stopped to get a coffee at the shop and have a chat with Nina. We first spotted him outside by Mrs. Sandwich in line-- is there a more incongruous place you would expect to see The Metatron than that? lol. It makes it very engaging to watch but these are also the first clues to suggest that something really odd is afoot here and when this character goes inside the bookshop, we really get that sense hammered home by the fact that this being we thought we had correctly identified really easily is unrecognizable-- to not one, not two, but five characters on our show, all of whom should instantly know exactly who this person is.

It's at this point that I'll mention that we technically still do not know who plays Satan on Good Omens. The first time he appears, he possesses Crowley by speaking to him using the voice of Freddie Mercury-- so, Satan is being played by a voice actor doing Satan-as-Freddie-Mercury. The second time he appears-- in 1.06-- he there for Adam, who is eleven years old at the time. Satan appears as a gigantic, cartoonish, cliched-red-with-horns-and-hoofs monster, voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch. It is completely at odds with how GO usually does its more horrific and frightening elements. You could argue that Satan appears this way in 1.06 because it's how he would appear to Adam-- to an eleven year old boy. Everyone sees Satan as Adam sees Satan when Satan comes for Adam. A parallel to that would then be the arrival of the character played by Derek Jacobi in 2.06.

Why can't these five angels identify the person who just arrived?

It has to be because they're angels. It's the only thing Aziraphale, Michael, Uriel, Muriel and Saraqael all have in common.

They can't recognize the being at the door because they're angels; meaning: they're not familiars of The Devil.

This is not The Metatron. This is Satan:

You might notice that one of the angels-- Saraqael-- eventually catches on. What they do is another huge clue to who this is. If Saraqael's realization was that this must be The Metatron, they would have spoken up and said that they recognized him, if only to suck up to the boss. But they do not so that is not their realization...

Instead, they don't say a word. They look afraid, look Up, fold their hands together and start to pray. Since this being is obviously one of them and not human-- based on what he said to Michael upon his arrival-- Saraqael has figured out that if they, Michael, Uriel, Muriel and Aziraphale all cannot recognize him, it has to be because this is Satan.

Saraqael doesn't tell anyone else what they've figured out. They just start praying in case it's their number that's up today. The irony of all of this, of course, is that three of these angels who can't recognize the face of evil-- Michael, Uriel and Saraqael-- are honestly pretty garbage people themselves and also that there's not much of a difference in level of evil between The Metatron and Satan. But, technically, Michael, Uriel and Saraqael are angels, just as Muriel and Aziraphale are angels. All it really means in this case, though, is that they've never been thrown to Hell and, because of that fact, they cannot recognize Satan. (It also helps to illustrate how being cast to Hell is political and doesn't really have much to do with whether or not you're a terrible person. It's just who has gotten caught while getting in The Metatron's way.)

Demons can recognize Satan, though. The problem is that they also can be possessed by Satan and influenced into not even knowing he's there... which is what starts happening to Crowley upon the arrival of Satan in the bookshop.

Satan can make Crowley's words sound natural and of Crowley's own volition-- and then make it so that Crowley doesn't even remember saying them. This is why Crowley is acting weird when "The Metatron" is in the same room with him in 2.06.

We've seen something like this a bit when Crowley put Sister Mary in a trance so he and Aziraphale could ask her questions back in S1. Sister Mary really looked like she was in a trance and that's because it wasn't really necessary for either Aziraphale or Crowley to instruct her to act any differently. They were the only other ones around and they weren't manipulating Sister Mary's behavior in an attempt to use her to influence other people-- they were only seeking information from her. How she acted when giving them that information wasn't something they were terribly concerned with because it didn't really matter.

When they had all the information they thought she possessed, Aziraphale brought her out of the trance by telling her that she was now awake and had just had a dream of whatever she liked best. As he and Crowley are walking away, we see Sister Mary seem like she just woke up a bit from actual sleep and she looks calm and refreshed-- like she really did just have a dream of whatever she likes best.

In that moment, Sister Mary is unconcerned with the fact that such a thought is completely incongruous with the fact that she is standing, dressed in work clothes, in the hallway of her workplace. She does not remember the two people who were just there asking her questions or what they asked her. She believes she was dreaming because that is what Aziraphale told her to believe had happened.

The point is that while Sister Mary didn't know she had been influenced like this and could not remember what had happened while she was being influenced, the effects of it remained a little afterwards, as she continued to believe what it was she was told while under the influence. Aziraphale's instructions to her were comparatively pretty innocent-- he told her she had a great dream so she continued to believe that to be true. Satan in 2.06, on the other hand, is not telling Crowley that he just had a dream of whatever he likes best.

Satan possesses Crowley from the start of the scene, accounting for Crowley's quiet and stillness in the early moments of it. He not only tells Crowley to identify him as The Metatron to Aziraphale and the other angels but he makes Crowley believe that he is The Metatron for real. He tells him to make it sound natural when he tells the angels who he is so that they will believe it. That's why Crowley doesn't sound like he's in a trance, the way that Sister Mary did in S1.

I want to throw in here something else, too, that's kind of a foreshadowing/paralleling scene to this as well that comes a couple of episodes prior to this one we're talking about and that is... whatever the fuck exactly was happening to Gabriel in the "tempest" scene.

For the record, I do not believe that it was Satan possessing Gabriel in that scene. I actually think it's some witch-related stuff--I swear the voice speaking with him is Anathema-- but I bring it up even though we don't know what this is totally all about yet because it has some paralleling things that we can already see are relevant.

First off? Where Gabriel is when this happens:

He's sitting in Aziraphale's desk chair. I'm not trying to say the chair itself is spooky (though it is as a result of all of this? lol) so much as I'm saying that both Gabriel and Crowley acting weird and taken over while sitting in Aziraphale's desk chair (which is very much symbolizing Aziraphale) is one of the many things reinforcing that Aziraphale is falling because here are these two characters who parallel him the most-- the two, other most important characters in the show, arguably, and the two also living in the bookshop in S2-- and they're both falling victim to darkness while sitting in his chair.

But what I really want to point out here is what happens to Jim after his possession. Watch Gabriel's eyes at the end here:

There are a few seconds more as well in the show when his eyes resettle on Crowley. Gabriel disappears entirely while he's being possessed. He is speaking words that Crowley can hear and that Crowley recognizes as coming from Gabriel's voice... but when Gabriel blinks back into the room and looks at Crowley, he has no idea what just happened.

He doesn't remember what he just said. He isn't aware of the fact that someone was just possessing him. He feels a little disoriented and anxious-- which is also sort of Jim's default state in S2-- but what we and Crowley witnessed him saying? He has no idea about that. Shax shows up outside the bookshop and causes a distraction that keeps us and Crowley and Gabriel from sorting all of this out until S3 but Gabriel's expressions on the other side of his possession indicate that he has no idea where he just was mentally, what he just said or did, or that someone was in his mind. This is another scene emphasizing this aspect of possession on Good Omens-- no matter who is doing the possessing. The exact same effects of possession is what is happening to Crowley in 2.06.

So, Satan uses Crowley to identify him to the others as The Metatron and makes him believe that he is The Metatron to cover up the fact that he's been in his mind. Crowley has no idea that Satan has been in the bookshop. The moment this becomes clear, though, is the first one you mentioned in your ask, which is when Crowley really confirms for us exactly who Derek Jacobi is playing by doing something so wildly out of character that it's almost impossible to justify without considering the idea that he's being possessed:

encouraging Aziraphale to go somewhere alone with who he believes to be The Metatron.

Next time you're watching this scene-- and GO, in general-- look for where the music stops altogether. There are moments in GO when the score just ceases to exist entirely for a period of time so that we can hear the words that are being said without any distractions. I've found that scenes where this is happening are usually pretty pivotal, either from a wordplay perspective or a plot perspective or, often, both. There is basically no music in the whole scene in which "The Metatron" appears to have arrived at the bookshop.

The score disappears upon "The Metatron's" arrival and it only returns with that big bit of organ-y "DUN DUN DUNNN" villain music right at a pivotal point in the scene you're talking about:

The music comes back at exactly the moment that the camera holds on "The Metatron" as he is staring at Crowley. Why here?

They really, really want you to notice this glare that this person played by Derek Jacobi is leveling at Crowley. We already don't trust this character if he is The Metatron and he's been nothing but a dick since he arrived, really-- he used "demon" to refer to Crowley, he called Muriel "dim" (he can rot for that alone), and he was a total prick to Michael and Uriel. As awful as they are, no one should be spoken to like that. No one-- including most of the audience-- sees this as being extra-villain-y because this is just how The Metatron is so it's expected behavior from who we might think this character is.

So, to show us who this really is, they can't just rely on us noticing that he's in a dark coat and tie (why is he in Hell colors?!) or that he brought along a temptation coffee or that he uses language from Mary Poppins ("spit spot") when speaking to the angels. All those are clues, for sure, but the moment the music comes back is when the show is trying to give us the biggest of the clues to who this really is-- when the scene is structured to show us that he is attacking Crowley.

Because this isn't actually The Metatron glaring at Crowley; it is Satan giving Crowley instructions to stay put.

It's why Crowley doesn't follow them afterwards and continues to believe that The Metatron was who was in the bookshop-- even as Aziraphale has figured out who it really is. Look at Aziraphale's response here and you'll see that this is one of the scenes that suggests he is pretty damn sure this is not The Metatron:

Aziraphale's head whips over to "The Metatron" in response to what Crowley said because he knows what the only explanation for that response out of Crowley is. If you are looking at "The Metatron" while Aziraphale is still turning his head, you can see that he's still staring at Crowley because he was instructing him to tell Aziraphale to go and to not come with them. Satan pastes on a fake as fuck smile when Aziraphale looks at him but it's actually too late-- Aziraphale already knows what's going on. He just doesn't want Satan to know he knows.

Aziraphale knows that there's no way in the universe that Crowley-- who was so worried about danger yesterday that he escorted him to, like, Arnold's Music Shop and Mrs. Cheng's restaurant lol-- would ever just chill in the desk chair while Aziraphale went somewhere alone with The Metatron.

Ever.

The Big Damn Villain Music shows up after "The Metatron"'s fake smile to Aziraphale. It is in the exact moment that he looks at Crowley again and finishes the instructions he was giving before Aziraphale turned his head. It's because this is one of the biggest clues to this character's identity-- who can do this to Crowley? Satan.

Based on the scenes that follow, Satan here is telling Crowley something like:

You will not follow us. He will be back soon. Everything is fine. I was never here; I am The Metatron. Aziraphale is not in any danger. Stay where you are.

This scene-- the one highlighted by the music-- where Satan is silently giving Crowley directions is the one most like the time we see Satan possess Crowley in 1.01. It has a similar effect for a moment, which is probably why the music kicks in here as it's the best way to remind the audience of who can do this to Crowley and how.

In that 1.01 moment, there was no one else around and Satan was not possessing Crowley for the purposes of having him speak to influence someone else's behavior. Since he did not need Crowley to speak in the scene, Crowley does not. He is silent and still while Satan speaks in his mind and gives him instructions. We see that Satan can take such full control over Crowley that Crowley is trapped within himself. He can't speak, he can't scream, he can't move-- so, he can't drive the car and his connection to the car is shattered to a point that The Bentley is almost in a head-on collision with a truck. This is our introduction to the level of possession that Satan has over him-- all contrasted with the fact that Crowley is supposed to be on a date with Aziraphale in the sushi restaurant. This is all coming back around in 2.06.

Its return is also foreshadowed by this Shax bit during the bookshop attack... Crowley missing when he's supposed to be safe with Aziraphale and Aziraphale worried that Satan has Crowley because the demons are circling and Shax... who exists to get inside people's heads a bit... as if echoing Aziraphale's thoughts, says:

Shall we send up the sushi?

After all... do we really think that a season that spent all that time on whether or not actual demons (representing a person's inner demons) were going to be able to get into the bookshop (symbolically, Aziraphale, and Crowley & Aziraphale) is going to let those demons into the bookshop and then just... decide Satan is on vacation for the week? Or do we think that it's not coincidental that the offer Aziraphale is presented with also happens to be the one thing in the entire Universe that could ever tempt him to Hell?

Hmm... 😉

Anyway, back for a moment to the scene in 2.06 when Satan influences Crowley into staying behind and telling Aziraphale to go with "The Metatron"... The undersung thing in this scene, imho, is Aziraphale's reaction.

If Aziraphale really believed this to be The Metatron with 100% certainty, he could have responded to what Satan just made Crowley say by pressing this idea of them going for "The Metatron's" proposed stroll. He could have said aloud to Crowley: "why don't you come with us?" or he could have told The Metatron that he didn't want to go for a walk and why didn't they just sit here in the bookshop instead and anything The Metatron wanted to say to him, he could say to him and Crowley together? If Aziraphale really completely believed that this was The Metatron, he could have-- and would have-- tried either of those things or something like them in response to what Satan made Crowley say.

Instead, what does Aziraphale do?

He *immediately* starts for the bookshop door. Why?

Because he knows that Crowley is not speaking of his own free will and that the person he identified as The Metatron is, in all likelihood, actually Satan. Aziraphale immediately starts for the door because Satan will have to follow him out, since he was the one who proposed this stroll. Aziraphale abandons the idea of Crowley coming with them when he sees that Crowley is being harmed. Instead, he goes alone with Satan, immediately luring him out of the shop so as to get him away from Crowley.

He leaves the bookshop with Satan to protect Crowley. It also foreshadows the fact that he's going to fall over a temptation that is related to Crowley's safety.

Look at how Aziraphale looks back to make sure that Satan is following him and quickly... how nervous and shaky he looks. He would be nervous if this were The Metatron, sure, yes, absolutely. In this moment, though, he's just living one of his worst nightmares-- the bookshop that he built that protects Crowley has been overrun and Crowley has been harmed right there in front of him.

This is their house. It's their living room, where Crowley's lounged for thousands of nights. Crowley is in Aziraphale's own desk chair. This is supposed to be the place where they both feel safe but now there is no safe space so Aziraphale is doing the best he can in the moment by just responding intuitively and protectively by saying with his actions: Get away from him. Follow me. You can have me. Leave him alone.

So, they go out, right? What happens next but the other scene you mentioned in your ask: Crowley and Muriel.

Crowley gets up out of the chair basically the second Satan and Aziraphale are no longer in the shop because Satan's hold on him in that moment is gone and he probably unconsciously needs to move, since Satan was literally not letting him get out of the chair. This is where the weird behavior gets even more weird-- Crowley doesn't follow them. He literally watches from within the shop through the window for a second as Aziraphale leads "The Metatron" over to Marguerite's. Why doesn't he go after them? Because Satan told him to stay in the shop. Just like with Sister Mary believing she had been dreaming, what Crowley has been influenced by Satan into doing lingers with him gone, since he was instructed by Satan to stay in the shop until Aziraphale gets back.

Crowley paces a little circle like a caged tiger, going back further *into* the bookshop-- a totally normal response to his partner going for coffee alone with a murderous psychopath. He mutters to himself:

"They'll be back soon."

WHAT. THE...? How is there anybody who thinks this behavior is normal at this point?

Crowley turns around and Muriel is there. He jumps a bit, having forgotten they were still in the shop. So did the audience, honestly. This may or may not be significant in S3. Muriel being there in the background, blending into the walls during this scene also means that Muriel is now maybe the only character who could actually tell Crowley what happened during the scenes we have been talking about here because he doesn't remember anything involving what he said.

If you were to ask Crowley at any point from the time "The Metatron" and Aziraphale leave the shop on in S2 who identified "The Metatron", he couldn't tell you. If you were to tell him he told Aziraphale to go with "The Metatron", he would not remember doing that. He has as much memory of the words he spoke in the scene with "The Metatron" as Gabriel does of his "there will come a tempest" moment-- which is to say, none.

Crowley knows that Aziraphale has gone with The Metatron and that they will be back soon. He doesn't know how that came to pass and he has been rendered by Satan incapable of leaving the shop or considering the idea that he should follow them.

If the being at the door is Satan and if Aziraphale's fall is where we left the end of 2.06, Aziraphale could lose his memory, at least for a time, which means that the only character who was a reliable witness to Satan influencing Crowley in this scene is Muriel. One purpose of having them in the shop during these moments from a writing standpoint-- as opposed to sending them over to Nina's coffee shop earlier-- might be to set up a character in S3 who can tell Crowley what it was that actually happened here. (Lucky Muriel lol.)

As you pointed out, Crowley starts speaking to Muriel casually, as if nothing is going wrong. He tells Muriel that they should leave the shop, too, and Muriel says:

The Metatron-- really: Satan-- did tell Muriel to wait in the shop but he did so just by pretending to be The Metatron. While there's no possession there with Muriel, Muriel's line to Crowley is also emphasizing what actually just happened to Crowley himself to the audience. "The Metatron" has told them both to wait in the shop-- so, they are waiting in the shop. They're both following directions they've been influenced in different ways to follow. By Muriel saying that they've been told to wait-- even if they were told in a different way than Crowley was-- it suggests that following a directive is also the reason why Crowley himself is still in the shop.

Crowley's response to Muriel, though, makes him sound like he's back to himself-- and, in several ways, he is. He is remaining in the shop because of the influence but he is not currently under an active influence so he can say what it is that he chooses to say. When he's a little sarcastic with Muriel, it sounds like his normal speech because it is. What he doesn't understand is that he's been influenced to do the same thing Muriel has been-- to wait there in the shop-- just against his will, as opposed to Muriel's conscious decision to follow the directive.

Here's where we have to consider Crowley's audience when we talk about what he says next. Crowley likes Muriel; of all the angels not named Aziraphale that he's met, Muriel's definitely top of the list. That said... Muriel is still an angel who is desperate to please The Metatron, as they just proved to him again in this scene by being excited to have been singled out to assist who they believe to be The Metatron. Muriel whole thing is that they're an Inspector Constable; they are literally the (supernatural) police and Crowley wisely doesn't trust the police.

Crowley has no doubt that, after Muriel does leave the shop, that they'd tell The Metatron anything he said. Crowley actually does believe that Aziraphale is in big trouble because he doesn't trust The Metatron-- he's just been rendered incapable of realizing that he's staying in the bookshop because he's been instructed to do so by Satan, who is really the person with Aziraphale in that moment. As a result, Crowley's mind has jumped to a plan for when Aziraphale comes back from coffee with whom Crowley believes is The Metatron.

Crowley has no doubt that Aziraphale will come back because he's been influenced to believe this to be true, which is why he keeps saying "they will be back soon" and "when Aziraphale does come back", instead of being terrified that Aziraphale will not come back at all, which is what he normally would have been if Aziraphale were alone with The Metatron. It is, in this case, going to be true that Aziraphale returns because that is part of Satan's plan and one of the reasons why he influenced Crowley into believing so.

So, anyway, Crowley thinks the big threat is The Metatron potentially erasing Aziraphale into non-existence by deleting him from The Book of Life. This isn't actually a thing, as Crowley told Beez back early on in the season, but Beez, being horrified to realize that they might have been manipulated by something they themselves and Crowley made up ages ago, doubled down out of embarrassment on it being real and led Crowley to believe in its existence as a result. Crowley has spent the season terrified that Aziraphale is going to be made to have never existed. The plan he's cooking up to save Aziraphale from that fate-- which is what he thinks is going on-- is not one he wants to share with the police. It's not one he's going to say aloud in front of Muriel because that might as well be saying it to The Metatron, as far as Crowley is concerned. We won't actually hear Crowley's plan until he delivers it to Aziraphale in coded speech in The Disaster Kiss Scene and by that point, everything is going, um, really, really badly.

(It's the reason why there's no music in that moment so you can literally hear the words echo around the room when Crowley starts in on it and basically shouts the "THIS PLANET" part at Aziraphale but that's straying from the scenes you asked about so *focuses* 😊)

So, Crowley instead says what he'd really, truly, honestly love to be doing for the rest of the morning and he does so in the way that he and Aziraphale do when someone who doesn't speak their language is around and annoying them-- he says it in Ineffable Husbands Speak to amuse himself and, probably, to amuse Aziraphale, whom he plans on telling later. (He'll do this again a few minutes later, when Maggie is ticking him off by saying he and Aziraphale don't talk.)

Crowley says:

Does Crowley want a little Us Time with Aziraphale when he comes back? Does he want to go with him to have an extremely alcoholic breakfast at The Ritz? (Ineffable Husbands Speak for boozy brunch and sex after too long without it?) Yes. Eventually. But he knows there's very dangerous trouble to be dealt with first.

Crowley says that because he wants Muriel to think that he is just preoccupied with thoughts of Aziraphale and breakfast-- because that's what he wants The Metatron to think and he knows Muriel will tell The Metatron what it is that he said.

Crowley wants The Metatron to think he doesn't have a plan.

But, really, when we have known Crowley to not have a plan? 😊

The problem is that it's a plan for the wrong scenario.

It's not The Book of Life that's happening; it's Aziraphale's fall.

It's not The Metatron at the door; it's Satan.

This is almost the entire communication mess of That Disaster Kiss Scene. They're being watched and whatever the fuck happened to Crowley, he can't see that freezing time to speak openly is an option so he and Aziraphale are boxed into trying to each convey what they think is happening and their plans to stop it using their cant vocabulary.

The ironic thing is that while they-- like the audience lol-- have two different ideas of who the being watching them is and what the threat is as a result, they actually both have almost exactly the same plan... with one, key, very romantic difference.

But that's another meta. 😜

In the meantime, I'll just leave you with a reminder of what "The Metatron" said in a moment when Crowley was still in the room:

[thesherrinfordfacility]

✨already on the metatron erasure campaign™ let's fucking go✨:

*EDIT, IMPORTANT* I can't believe i even missed this...but metatron is dressed in a dark coat and (iirc) tie

we know from s1 that metatron has very little patience for aziraphale, was pro-armageddon, and at least claimed to be the voice of God (when my man is basically a glorified answerphone)

the half-and-half miracle was conducted on top of the sigil, the transportation circle through which aziraphale dialled 101-metatron in s1, and we know the miracle ended up being Very Powerful

michael doesn't seem to recognise metatron... which is odd as theyre high ranking, uriel and saraqael seem to recognise him, they've definitely met, and michael was shown in the job minisode to have pretty good recollection for job's kids' names - possible memory wipe? saw something they weren't supposed to?

says he has consumed human matter before - why would metatron have been on earth??? and know what to order in a mf café???

speaking of the café, the dialogue, about people asking for death? "No... I don't suppose they do... So predictable."not sure on what this means but 💀 fckin weirdo

refers to muriel as the dim one but still puts her in charge of a heaven sanctuary on earth? as far as we know, the only one? hmmm seems like you want a puppet metty babes

butters up aziraphale with the sweet, cosy coffee - but indicating that he barely knows him at all given that we mainly see aziraphale drinking tea

what he ordered in the café was a small dash of almond syrup, but then describes it to aziraphale as being a hefty jigger of the stuff, indicating something added? wondering if there's further significance to the laudanum poison - an opiate? planning to essentially kidnap aziraphale knowing that crowley won't come looking now?

'hmm it's nice!" "yes I should jolly well hope so" 😁

a veeeeeery faint miracle chime as the coffee is handed over and when aziraphale raises it to his mouth, but hesitates... He asks "shall i...?" And metty goes:

"DRINK IT???😠 of course🙂"

definitely History™ with crowley; crowley readily recognises him after a moment, the look metatron gave him as they left the shop was filthy, and: "ah well! always did want to go his own way... always asking damn fool questions, too!"... like i get metatron is the voice of God, but was it metatron that actually made crowley fall? does metatron have that power, not exclusively god? did metatron say it was on god's orders?

plus - metatron tells aziraphale that he can reverse falling which, to me, seems like a pretty bomb ass power... and a bit OP even for the highest Archangel of heaven, leading me to:

very low, sultry ass voice, maintaining eye contact with aziraphale - all trademarks of hypnotism (temptation?) behaviour? while aziraphale was possibly drugged?

and was the promise of getting crowley restored to heaven actually a bluff, metatron knowing the aziraphale even attempting to broach it with crowley would split them up?

"go tell your friend the good news!!" Said in a voice that makes me think metty knows it's very Bad News Bears

is the whole thing a ploy to split them up? they came together in heaven, and then again on earth; is metatron trying to solve this one by essentially making aziraphale an offer he can't refuse, but that crowley absolutely will?

why choose the lift? why not just power up the circle and go through the sunroof???

and im sorry metatron but you must realise that aziraphale is severely underqualified right💀

[prodigaldaughteralice]

So I’m fascinated by the coffee, because I don’t think it affected Aziraphale’s decision in any way.

And I don’t think it affected his decision because his decision was completely in line with his character! I’ve seen the whole cyanide theory thing and it doesn’t make sense to me; he didn’t seem high or compromised in any chemical way. And his decision, as much as it hurts, makes sense with who he is and his (toxic) relationship with Heaven.

So why is the coffee so weird?

Maybe I’m just focusing on it because I was a barista for a long while, but I’m so confused.

First of all it’s slightly inconsistent. When the Metatron orders it (ha ha I’m so predictable my autocorrect tried to turn that into Mettaton), he orders it with ‘a dash’ of almond syrup, and when he hands it over to Aziraphale he describes it as having a ‘hefty jigger’ of almond. What?

Secondly, the Metatron is weirdly pushy about it. He comes up rather close, puts it in Aziraphale’s hands, there’s a bit of odd business where he watches him drink it.

Thirdly, oat milk. Why oat milk?

(I admit to being slightly and entirely irrationally biased against oat milk bc the people who wanted other milk substitutes we didn’t have were generally polite about being redirected to our three options, while the oat milk people were very “HOW can you NOT have OAT MILK” and then the chain replaced coconut, imo the best of the ones we had, with oat. But that’s not the point here.)

Point being why a milk substitute at all? Side-stepping the argument about whether veganism is actually good for the planet or for animals, it doesn’t really make sense for it to be an Angel Thing— they’re not interested in preserving the planet, they want to end it, and it’s not going to be out of respect for the fauna, because the whole “the stars are just there to look at” along with Job’s innocent goats make it pretty clear that this theology falls on the “the animals/everything else is there for the humans’ use/appreciation” side.

Fourth point, why coffee at all? Correct me if I’ve missed one, but I can’t recall a single point in the book or either season when Aziraphale drinks coffee. Alcohol, tea, cocoa, but not coffee. Even when he goes to Nina’s shop earlier in the season, all he gets is a plate of Eccles cakes nobody eats. Him asking if six shots of espresso will calm Crowley down also kind of suggests he’s not very familiar with coffee, haha.

So it’s been nagging at me a lot, and what it seems like to me is… the coffee doesn’t mean anything in universe. But it means something to us. It’s Doylist, not Watsonian. It’s weird. It’s just weird. The Metatron’s description of the coffee is a little inconsistent because he doesn’t give that much of a shit about minor truths. He’s pushy about Aziraphale drinking it because it’s a gift and he needs Aziraphale to accept it and feel grateful, it’s a signifier of the hierarchical dynamic between them. It’s an oat milk latte because that’s trendy and available across the street, and because the Metatron doesn’t actually care what Aziraphale is specifically fond of or interested in— it’s one of those human ingestables he likes, after all.

I think what the coffee’s there for is exactly what it did to me— it makes everything really uncomfortable, even before we really know why the Metatron’s there. It’s the first pang of anxiety as things turn from lovely resolution into everything going to shit. It feels weird and wrong because it’s weird and wrong.

I thought it might be anticlimactic for it not to mean anything in-universe, but… I actually don’t feel that way. What it’s there for is incredibly important, even if it’s just to illustrate where we’re going.

[most-normal-eccles-cake-ignorer]

celestial surveillance + some garden of eden parallels

For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. - Luke 8:17 (NIV)

Over and over, we see how the bookshop feels safe/private while simultaneously being sort of a fishbowl, leaving its inhabitants quite exposed to onlookers. *garden of eden vibes*

Similarly, Aziraphale and Crowley tried to conduct a class-A surreptitious 6000+ year agreement/slowburn romance and yet their 25 Lazarii relationship is fairly obvious to others.

Reminiscent of how Crowley is painfully aware that nothing is certain and time is horribly finite, Aziraphale lives with the knowledge that anything he does or says can be used against him—or much worse, used against Crowley or others our little guardian cares about. Unlike his emotional support demon, however, Aziraphale was afraid Before the Beginning, before The Fall.

While Upstairs aren't the only ones watching, they have the potential to be the most dangerous threat (emphasis on potential bc they have to take an interest and also maybe stumble into important clues): The heavenly office overlooks the entire world. Where Hell had to send Furfur to the theatre with a camera, Heaven's got Earth Observation Files they can pull up to see what someone was doing at any point in history—not even St. James Park can keep you anonymous in the face of thirty-seven classes of scriveners/recording angels!

Aziraphale may tend to underestimate danger in general because of his misplaced hope that Heaven is truly Good, but in the same way that he can be both clever and stupid, I think he trusts Heaven and fears it at the same time. Why else would he be so worried about breaking their rules even when he knows they are wrong?

Of course, Aziraphale is also a courageous little bastard with a deity-defying protective streak! Despite Heaven's indoctrination, we see him navigating all sorts of grey area as he learns to 'blur the edges'. But he knows it isn’t safe to do that openly. He keeps this more human side hidden and tries not to think too hard about why doing good is wrong in heavens eyes. (lol other people's aziraphale metas are my main food group rn)

At the end of S2, we see him leave A.Z. Garden & Co. after tasting the forbidden fruit large oat milk latte, armed with his naïve/misguided 'knowledge of Good and Evil'. (and perhaps he knows he can't 'let the sun can’t go down' on him in Soho lest the the Metatron mete out death instead of coffees?) When Adam and Eve left Eden, Aziraphale and Crowley observed from above. When the angel and demon leave their own garden, we get the sense that they are also being watched.

(also idk if this is anything but Adam facing off against the lion while Eve looks on in the bg seemed a bit like Crowley watching Aziraphale walk into danger w the Metatron. could be a good sign since the lion gets turned into salami)

There are hints at the end of S2 that the watching is getting a little a spicier (at least I think they are hints haha): the bookshop windows are still broken during the last part of E6, further decreasing privacy; the zombies used binoculars to watch A&C from the Dirty Donkey under cover of darkness in 1941 but the Metatron just looks across the road in the light of day. And then there's the whole 'hefty jigger of almond syrup'.

[ravenofazarath2]

Just rewatched Good Omens. As unlikely as it is, I do think there’s at least some plausibility to the Metatron essentially roofied Aziraphale theory.

When we see the Metatron ordering the coffee, he asks for one pump of almond syrup. However, when he hands it to Aziraphale, he says that it has “a hefty jigger of almond syrup.” Now, I’m no expert on British slang, but to my American ears, that does sound like more than just a pump.

And you know what is often described as bitter almonds in literature? Cyanide.

While I do think Aziraphale was just purely manipulated and being selfish, I also wonder if there’s some cyanide at play here, making him more open for suggestion. And the fact that we see what laudanum does to Crowley would only be foreshadowing this possibility.

[ekatshm]

the coffee theory

the fact that my friend said that the poison (cyanide) that Metatron put in Azi's coffee has taste of almonds

when Metatron took coffee in a cafe, he asked for oat milk coffee with "a dash of almond syrup" and when he gave Aziraphale coffee, he said that there was "a hefty jigger of almond syrup" in it

also, when Metatron gave Azi coffee, in that moment sound of a miracle was barely audible (so maybe something conjured here) and this rat Metatron whispered something and then looked at the angel so he would drink as soon as possible, this is not normal

Azi didn't look enthusiastic at first and he had his own position that he didn't want to change, but after he took a sip of coffee, he became excited... although he didn't really want to drink

after the scene in episode 3 where Crowley drank poison from that girl and he started behaving unnaturally became smaller and then bigger and I thought what if the poison has an effect on angels and demons and changes their normal condition

and the pumping music when they left the bookstore .... AND Metatron's look at Crowley was terrifying, but something tells me that they know each other very well.

( btw i also like theory (palpitibe - user's nickname) that I found here on the tumblr and repost it , this is about the fact that almonds represent purity and that Azi's mind has been cleansed )

if someone already mentioned that guesses I wrote higher, then sorry and tell me bout that bc we all so crazy about good omens right now so our heads is exploding with theorys

[weeohh]

I know I'm quite late to the discussion, but here are my thoughts on The Coffee™.

For starters, I don't believe that the oat milk latte with a hefty jigger of almond syrup was poisoned. However, I do believe that it is important.

It is clear that food/drink and especially the sharing of food/drink is a motif in this show. Food = communion.

This can be over-analyzed in any scene in which two or more characters have a meal together but I would like to focus on 2 individual scenes and how they reflect one another.

Scene 1. Aziraphale offering Muriel tea

During this comedic interaction, Aziraphale gives Muriel a cup of tea. In her discomfort, she refuses to drink it, even after Aziraphale gives her the okay by taking a sip himself. This demonstrates her inability to accept her human-ness. It also gives the audience a deeper understanding of the separation between angels and Aziraphale. This mirrors Scene 2 as I will soon explain!

Scene 2. Metatron offering Aziraphale coffee

In this particular exchange, I think that the Metatron is challenging Aziraphale. We know (from scene 1) that angels are unaccustomed to material goods, so when Aziraphale hesitates to accept the drink, he is considering if this is a "trap." However, the Metatron approves of the consumption, telling Aziraphale he has ingested many things in his time. When Aziraphale did the same for Muriel, (taking a sip to show her it's okay) Muriel still refused the drink. Accepting the coffee was a test. Aziraphale openly accepts his human-ness.

What this means for the Metatron's plans? I do not know.

Bonus Analysis!

Scene 3. Crowley offering Gabriel hot cocoa

Again, this scene is an act of "testing human-ness." In this case, Crowley is checking to see if Gabriel is really truly unaware of his past. Gabriel's naïvety and absolute innocence when accepting the drink is a clear sign to both Crowley and the audience of truthfulness.

______

Anyways, these are simply my thoughts! I am a huge fan of Chekov's Gun and so whenever an object is given a bit too much focus my brain starts going. Apologies if someone has already pointed this out, of course. Feel free to add on + share your thoughts!

[ktkellart]

Chapter 8 of God Only Knows - Can't Keep Away

After coming to the conclusion he’s working with a bunch of idiots, Crowley decides to take matters into his own hands and returns to Earth himself to look for clues to Heaven’s plans for the Second Coming.

Or start from the beginning:

What if the coffee theory was real? What if Aziraphale couldn't be held responsible for his actions from the moment he took a sip of that coffee with a hefty jigger of almond syrup?

Things have been said... feelings have been hurt... the damage has been done and the world is still ending... but is it really too late?

[the-metatron]

You give lactose intolerant vibes

Not so. I just find the fiber in oatmilk to be useful and the creamy taste to be delicious.

Would you like some?

[embracing-the-ineffable]

Has Aziraphale been meeting with Floating Head Metatron throughout s2?

Their conversation in the bookshop in s2e6 starts like this:

M: It's just you and me, Aziraphale, eh? I think we need to have a bit of a chinwag, don't you? A: I don't believe there's anything left to be said. I've made my position quite clear. M: Yeah, well, I brought you a coffee from the shop. It's an oat milk latte with a hefty jigger of almond syrup.

I don't believe there's anything left to be said. I've made my position quite clear.

Doesn't that seem like a reference to some other recent discussions between the two of them?

And just because it's infuriating, let me also point out that they AREN'T alone; Crowley and Muriel are both in the room. And, the coffee order was for a "dash" of almond syrup, not a "hefty jigger".

Anyway. Previous discussion(s) where Aziraphale said no to whatever The Metatron wanted, and now The Metatron is here to sweeten the offer / also imply that he's threatening Aziraphale (or more likely, Crowley) if Aziraphale refuses again.

Just that quick observation for now!

Interested in diving further into all the Good Omens mysteries? I have lots more of my own posts plus Clues and metas from all over the fandom, here.

[sparrowsortadrawzzz]

terrified for the day the Metatron follows me and offers me an oatmilk latte with a hEfTy JiZzEr- I MEAN JiGgEr of almond syrup-

[vidavalor]

Banana. Fruit. Plant. Food. Sustains life for animals and humans alike. "And what are they putting in bananas these days?!" First of Aziraphale's magic words. Symbolic of plant life on Earth.

Fish. The ocean. Oysters. Sushi. "Why do you eat *that*?"/"It's what humans do." "Bouilla...bouilla...bouilla... baby... fish stew. Anyway!" Symbolic of marine life on Earth. Love. Sex. He probably wins prizes for his tropical fish.

Gorilla. Also: Go-RILL-a, if you're Mr. Harmony. Animals. Ancient ancestors of humanity. Big fans of bananas; do not typically eat fish. (Rill. A small stream. Carries fish. Represents water, necessary to all life on Earth.) Gorillas represent the animal kingdom, the connection between animals and humans, and the interdependency of Earth's ecosystem. Earth is a balance of banana (plant life), fish (marine life), gorilla (animal life) and...

Shoelace. Humanity. First word in the sequence of Aziraphale's magic words that isn't a type of living thing but is, instead, an invention of the living thing it represents. Humanity is defined in Aziraphale's magic words by its bipedalism and its innovation-- by its ability to create, develop and use tools to improve its existence... but then also by their ability to keep refining, to keep trying, to keep progressing. Humans walk on two legs and created tools and created shoes to support that endeavor and then the shoelace to make the shoes better. Have you found the missing antichrist's name, age and shoe size yet? Humans walk-- they go ever forward, even if they sometimes go backwards. They are defined by their creativity and imagination and the determination to keep progressing. They create art and so they get a word full of symbolism because of their ability to make art and seek meaning and ask questions. Aziraphale loves them so.

(with a) Dash of Nutmeg. Civilization and evolution. Nutmeg comes from the nutmeg tree, in a full circle back to plant life. Dash of nutmeg is then the world created by these creative shoelaces. An ever-growing and changing world, full of refinement of and appreciation for life on Earth. A dash of nutmeg is learning and experimentation. Figuring out the right amount. Just a dash of nutmeg can change the whole taste of a dish and bring it to the next level. No nutmeg in a dish that needs it-- or too much? Not the same. No almond syrup where it's needed-- or too much? Not the same, maybe even a bit dangerous. To know that is to learn it... and to learn it is to either experiment yourself and/or to learn from the experience of humans. Aziraphale's love of being a student of humanity through the ages. Reading their books, absorbing their music and theatre. Letting them teach him French and magic and about food and love. A dash of nutmeg is literally the spice of life. To eat the right dish with just a dash of nutmeg is to experience the joy of life on Earth-- to experience pleasure from consuming the fruits of the Earth. It's living. It's to eat life alive.

A hefty jigger. Doesn't exist. A jigger is precise, is quantifiable; a dash is a flick of the wrist and is less precise, more improvisational, just enough. You cannot have a hefty jigger. You can, though, always have a dash. See: nutmeg. See: almond syrup, as Nina pours into Aziraphale's coffee usual coffee order, as ordered by The Metatron. If you say 'dash' when you order in the shop but 'hefty jigger' when you deliver to your mark, you're wanting to look like a savvy, old man to the barista to get the order right... but you're intentionally attempting to look clueless to Aziraphale, to make him think he'll be needed to help you navigate humanity. It means you do know how to order coffee but you are pretending you do not to the person you are trying to manipulate. It means you're a liar.

A jigger is measured by shots. By the shot is one way you can order coffee. Coffee is freedom. Give me coffee or give me death. Give me liberty or give me death. Does anybody ever ask for death? Some wise-cracking asshole has to ask Nina for it at least once a week but she says no when The Metatron asks because no one ever *really* asks for death. Not seriously. Not as anything but a joke. They all ask for their beverage of choice. They all ask for freedom or comfort or pleasure or all of the above. Wanting to live is predictable to our villain but it's understandable to the rest of us. Living on this magical Earth can be a lot at times but it also is the most amazing thing imaginable.

No one knows that better than Crowley, who spans the gamut of coffee orders (among other beverages). Dessert coffee-- espresso, cream, maybe some alcohol-- in a small, Irish-coffee-style mug in 1.01 during a lazy afternoon lunch but also, on a stressful morning, this...

Mr. Six Shots of Espresso in a Big Cup. Crowley. But only sometimes. And not really. Not when we know him better than Nina does. Not when we've seen him twice order his symbolic liberty at a slower pace and cut it with some sweetness along the way. Not when The Bentley in S2 showed us that he drives fast, he pounds espresso, and it's all anxiety. Mr. Six Shots of Espresso in a Big Cup really wants to drive 52 miles an hour, per The Bentley, and slowly sip half a fluffy dessert coffee at lunch at The Ritz with Aziraphale. Crowley wants everyone to see him as Mr. Six Shots of Espresso in a Big Cup but he's not. He's...

Crowley. Bildad the Shuite.

Bildad. Means, quite literally, "old friend," as Sitis' mind translated upon his request. Aziraphale's oldest friend. Humanity's oldest friend. Also means "loved by the Lord." He's And the Voice of Frances McDormand's favorite, if only They'd put him out of his misery and share that. the Shuite. Means, as Michael points out, "from the land of Shua" but Michael doesn't really fully get it. It is not where you are from; it is not what kind of species you are. It is not what you "are", whatever that even is. Heaven, Hell, angels, demons, it's all... pointless, as Crowley tells Shax in 2.01. Bildad does not define Shuite as a place-related name; he does not define humanity as tied to beings of a specific region or to a species, even, really. Humanity is not the exclusive domain of people of any one race or ethnicity or religion or species. Being a Shuite isn't where you're from or if you are human only or if you have a human corporation but others call you an angel or a demon... Bildad defines Shuite as what you do or what you are learning how to do. He defines being a Shuite as how you're interacting with the world on Earth and how you are spending your days. Being a Shuite is something you *do* and freedom is the choice of what that is, which some unfortunately have more than others. What does Bildad *do* then, as *the* Shuite?

Bildad the Shuite. Professional midwife/cobbler. The demon who delivered humanity from The Garden of Eden, and who now lives among them, working hard as a professional shoemaker, helping them forward and letting them teach him just as much.

A shoelace. A human.

And like the rest of us, he's making this shit up as he goes. Nothing more human than that, really.

Banana, fish, gorilla, shoelace, with a dash of nutmeg. Aziraphale's magic words. His mantra. The only full prayer we've ever really heard him say. His history of Earth as he's observed and lived it with Bildad the Shuite for thousands of years. The words mostly work when he needs them to but sometimes they fail and that's okay. As a certain angel excited to be on Earth once said while pretending to be a human in the bookshop, the error they made just then proved they were human. It did, indeed, even if Muriel doesn't quite yet understand just how human they are.

Nazis. Fascist motherfuckers who seek to suppress free thought and oppress others through dehumanizing violence. Can be expert lip readers. Can be multilingual. Can understand language on a technical, surface level that makes their inability to understand context very darkly funny. I am played for a sucker. You are played for a sucker. He, she, it are played for suckers... Dangerous as all hell in their willful ignorance, their lack of critical thinking and their complete lack of empathy.

Zombies. Those who are asleep to their surroundings. Those who do not seek to understand context and dive for deeper meaning. Those who do not engage with art (and, if they're Nazis, those who seek to suppress it.) Those who are full of apathy. Those who do not question. Those who think like how others tell them to think. Those who are content with surface understanding, not deeper meaning.

Flesheaters. Zombies-- in the horror movie sense. Those with a bloodlust for brains. Those who murder with impunity to satisfy a violent, dark hunger. Those with dark impulses that harm others; the polar opposites of hungering for pleasure from food, art, sex, love, companionship. The thematic opposites of Crowley and Aziraphale.

Nazi Zombie Flesheaters. Fraulein Greta Kleinschmidt, Mr. Harmony and Mr. Glozier. Multilingual members of the Nazi Party, one of whom is an expert lip reader. They are zombies, as shown by how they lack the imagination, intellectual curiosity, critical thinking skills, and creativity to be able to decode the deeper meaning of the surface words they read and recite correctly but do not actually comprehend. They do not seek to understand how a creative magic trick is being performed before their eyes because they fail to even notice that one is, even when presented with an abundance of contextual clues. They're also, in their cases, flesheaters. They roam around London eating innocent, free-thinking brains-- quite literally suppressing thought. In The Blitz, Part 1, they were already Nazi Zombies. In The Blitz, Part 2, they become the Nazi Zombie Flesheaters.

Jiggery-pokery. Cutesy-sounding British phrase with a darker origin. Means 'trickery'. Means 'deceit'. Not in an innocent way, like the sleight of hand deception of a magic show... or the sleight-of-hand tricks played by writers and performers on a television show with recurring motifs around spies and magic and wordplay and hidden romance and a whole secret language imbedded in its dialogue. Origin of jiggery-pokery: British Army, mid-1800s. Used to refer to homosexual sex acts, then illegal, amongst soldiers in its ranks when targeting them. Evolved a bit in modern times to a lighter-sounding term meaning cute trickery but still equally refers in definition to gay sex, conducted in secret, and by those who are then threatened with exposure by other soldiers who feel homosexuality goes against the morals of the unit. Used onstage by The Marvelous Mr. Fell to describe his complicated relationship with human magic, which metaphorical for his own humanity, in contrast with his role as one of God's soldiers, a moment before his partner gets on stage to perform some of that humanity with him. It is not performative, though, because humanity is not exclusive to humans; humanity is to be a Shuite and love is love. In the audience: a soldier from Bildad's unit and the Nazi Zombie Flesheaters, working in tandem to out Crowley and Aziraphale for what is, to Furfur and the Nazis, supernatural and actual jiggery-pokery.

Three cowry shells and a lone caraway seed. A sleight of hand magic trick, used by writers to point out multiple layers of meaning and a request of the audience to engage with the story and find the seed beneath the layers. A sleight hand of magic trick, used by The Marvelous Mr. Fell thousands of years prior in his exploration of human magic. He fooled ancient Egyptian Queen Nefertiti with the trick. He masks the lone caraway seed successfully beneath a different cowry shell than the one the humans watching him think it is hidden beneath. He hides one meaning beneath another. He hides his self-deemed jiggery-pokery humanity beneath what Heaven suspects of him as an angel.

My Nefertiti-fooling fellow. What The Marvelous Mr. Fell's love, Bildad the Shuite, calls him to he remind him that his humanity is not jiggery-pokery. His magical man, who is also kind of terrible at the actual human magic part, but is so very good at the human magic part, and what could be more human than that?

Dummkopf. What Greta calls Harmony, after he successfully reads Aziraphale's magic words but she interprets them as nonsense words... despite them all seeing through the windows Aziraphale moving in such a way as to suggest he is performing a magic trick, suggesting a potential context for the words. None of these three have what the creative minds involved in Good Omens know their audience does have, which is the curiosity and love of story enough to look for context and meaning. 'Dummkopf': German for 'dumbass'.

[selfmadeinsomniac]

Just to add to the “Metatron did something to the coffee” theory, I noticed when I first watched it that when he was ordering the coffee from Nina he asked for “a dash” of almond syrup. But then when he gives the coffee to Aziraphale he says that it has a “hefty jigger” of almond syrup. I just thought that was strange to specify. Maybe he was trying to hide the taste of something.

[theniceandaccurategoodomensblog]

A barrel of red herrings

You know what Good Omens season two is? It is a barrel of herrings. Red herrings.

And hidden within all those herrings there are clues.

Real legitimate clues to what is going on and what season three has in store. But they are buried in the damn herrings.

Because is going on. Something big.

But what? We all agree that the Metatron is a manipulative shit and Crowley was a high ranking angel. So much so good. But beyond that it is a mess of herrings and clues.

There’s—

-weirdly emphasised coffee with a hefty jigger of almond syrup

-Crowley’s memory lapses with Saraquel and Furfur

-Constant references to resurrection

-Chekhov’s Book of Life will it be used in season three? Or is it being used already?

-An angel and a demon running off together but the wrong angel and demon

-Bizarre double mirroring with Maggie and Nina- here’s an Aziraphale mirror no whoops she’s Crowley. Haha!

-Maggie misspelling an easy word to spell just like a demon (but not Crowley- Crowley can spell)

-Crowley sneaking into Heaven and opening secret documents like he does that every other day and already knows they haven’t changed their passwords

-Enormous focus on the Book of Job

-A magic trick in which Crowley aims for Aziraphale’s mouth and shoots past Crowley’s ear

-Aziraphale’s manic grin in the final frame

And there’s lots more besides. This is just off the top of my head. Clues. Absolutely. But herrings too. Is it a bluff or a double bluff? Is it the trick or is it the misdirection?

One thing is for sure Neil has given us plenty to occupy ourselves with during the wait for season three (very deliberately I think). This is not easy to unpick.