#with maximum the hormone and i got a boy a close second

[babymorte]

shredded wheat

shredded wheat

shredded wheat

[mediocre--writing]

I loved your childhood friends ask! I have a headcannon that when they grow up and get to high school, Billy has a hard time because Steve is seeking out girls whereas Billy just wants him. Billy would definitely cry to his mom about it, especially when Nancy comes into the picture, his head in her lap as she plays with his hair and tries to soothe his broken heart and sobs. How could he fall in love with his straight childhood best friend?

it wasn’t steve’s fault.

billy had to keep reminding himself that it was in no way steve’s fault.

but as he sat in the camaro, waiting for steve to get out of his house, billy could see steve twirling the phone cord around his fingers while he blushed and talked to someone.

billy had been there for almost ten minutes. and steve had seen him, even waved at him, and was usually so punctual about leaving the house.

but it took a total of 25 minutes for steve to hang up the phone and come out to billy’s car.

“nance was talking to me about that party friday, you know the one? but yeah she wanted us to go together and so...”

“so you wanna drive her to the party. steve, she’s your girl, you gotta take her,”

steve sighed out in relief, “we’ll go to the next one together, b, alright?”

“of course,”

they hung out that afternoon but billy didn’t feel as up for it as he was when he was getting ready.

steve was constantly talking about nancy or the party and what he should wear. billy wanted to beat his face in.

it wasn’t for any other reason than he was being annoying. steve and billy were hanging out. that was the plan. it wasn’t steve, billy, and the constant thought of nancy wheeler hanging out.

they drove around for a while, which was nice, and they sang to music, and billy felt settled by steve’s semi-raspy singing voice.

he felt a bit better about losing steve to nancy until he went to drop steve off. it wasn’t anything that happened, just what he said:

“thanks for being so cool about the party. maybe nance and i can introduce you to heather, she’s super nice and i think she likes you!”

billy forced an easy smile on his face while he looked at steve, “sure, t, that would be nice,”

then steve left and billy waited until he got into the house before driving off like a bat outta hell.

he didn’t go straight home. he went to the gas station, filled up the tank, bought three packs of cigarettes, and a candy bar before driving around for the remainder of the night, until about 12.

steve never listened anymore.

in the car, billy had been talking about how he had found a second job at the pool and his coworker, heather, was really sweet.

then steve brings her up at the end of the night like he came up with her out of nowhere? did he not listen to a word billy had said all night?

and nancy. nancy prissy-motherfucker wheeler.

who does she think she is? ramming her way into their group, pretending to be all shy and sweet and cutesy when she just wants steve.

and the way she thinks she’s better than everyone because she’s taking next-grade level clases.

well guess what, wheeler, so am i!! you’re nothing special!!

as billy finished off the last cigarette of the second pack, he reached into the passenger seat to grab for the third pack when he realized how shaky his hands were.

glancing around the car, he noted that it was 11:45, three and a half hours since he’d left steve’s house. and he was going 94 on a shady backroad.

billy loved the feel of speeding, but knew his mother would whip his ass if he did.

rather than open a new pack, billy decreased his speed (to 70, but it was better than 100) and started driving home.

he rolled all the windows down completely, hopefully getting some of the smell out.

when he’d pulled into his driveway, his mom was standing on the porch, trying to shove the key into the lock while balancing her purse, diner leftovers, and another bag in her arms.

billy quickly got out of the car, leaving the pack of cigarettes in there and grabbing the candy bar before walking up the steps and taking the takeout boxes out of her hands.

“thank you, sweet boy,” she smiled as she finally got the key in the lock

they walked into the house quietly, setting all of their stuff down.

billy discarded his jacket in the coat closet while she had gone to change out of her diner uniform into comfy pajamas.

billy moved to the kitchen to take plates and cups down, setting them on the dining table suit for three people, maximum.

he opened the take out boxes and moved each of their dinners onto plates before filling the glasses with ice and water.

“thank you, baby,”

she pecked him on the forehead as he sat down at the table, then took her normal seat and began eating.

“how was your day?”

“better than yours,”

billy’s face scrunched up a little at her comment as she took a bite of her burger.

“you still smell like smoke, plus you were meeting with steve at 6, so you’ve been out for quite a while...”

“it’s nothing to worry about,” billy kept holding his burger rather than take a bite out of it, the smoking having ruined his appetite.

“billy,”

“promise, it’s nothing to worry about,”

“alright. don’t you both have that party friday?”

“why does everyone care about this stupid party!?” billy said, louder than he meant to.

“who’s ‘everyone’?”

“nobody, mom,”

“oooh, you’re all grumpy, calling me ‘mom’ and shit. why don’t you check the attitude by tomorrow morning, mkay?”

billy nodded and took a bite of his food, “sorry,”

“it’s alright, but you can’t get angry at me for something i didn’t do, billy,”

billy nodded and she got up to clear her finished plate, rinsing it then coming back to where billy was still eating.

she held his face gently in her hands and placed a long kiss on his forehead, “try to get a good nights sleep, hon,”

she walked to the back of the house, where her bedroom was, and shut the door, leaving billy with most of his dinner still on his plate and heaviness in his heart.

billy made it through the rest of the school week. the weather was warming up, nearing the end of the school year, and the days were pretty easy.

but he was avoiding steve. well, really, he was avoiding the priss, and since she was always with steve, he was avoiding him by default.

and it didn’t feel any better avoiding steve when every time he did see him, he was holding flowers for her, or picking her up from behind, or talking real close to her face all sweet.

the worst part was that steve didn’t seem all to fazed by not seeing billy those four days.

and it hurt. it hurt that, apparently, steve meant more to billy than billy meant to steve. it hurt that the priss could replace billy so quickly.

and so billy was getting agitated. his mom kept working late shifts and billy was working on training for his lifeguard job and homework and it all felt like too much was going on and he didn’t have steve there to distract him.

so, by complete accident, he got into a fight. a big one. with a senior.

for a junior, billy could probably pass as an actual adult, and had the muscles and fighting skills to prove it.

the senior wasn’t too far off either, though.

billy got knocked into (by accident) in the hall while he was watching steve and the priss and just... snapped.

he and the boy were both losers of the fight, neither looking better than the other and neither having been declared winner. plus, they were both marched off to the principals office at the end of the day.

billy, out of the corner of his eye, saw steve watching him get marched off to the front offices, but didn’t care to look and see his face.

more so, the disappointment that would be there. steve hated when he got angry and fought. he hadn’t gotten into a fight since freshman year, so what happened now?

billy’s mom, having been called in from work, seemed as if she was on fire when she came into the building.

she was a taller woman, had broad shoulders and a glare that rivaled billy’s. in short, she was intimidating as fuck (even in her cute 50s work uniform)

billy couldn’t look her in the eye.

after they’d finished with the principal (two day suspension for both boys), billy and his mom walked out to his car.

“where’d you park?” billy grumbled.

“i had christopher drop me off so i could make sure that you would be going straight home after this,”

they made it to the blue camaro, both standing on the drivers side door.

“mom—“

“keys!” she held her hand out and billy stared at her, “now!”

he fumbled in his jean jacket pocket before handing her the keys, walking around to the passenger door and getting in.

they drove the speed limit the whole way home, not talking and not listening to music. just the rumble of the engine as they sat in silence, both seething with different types of anger.

they pulled up to the house, both getting out and going to the door, unlocking it and billy tried storming off to his room before he was called back.

“what!”

“first of all, loose the ‘tude,” she gestured for him to sit on the couch as she walked back and forth in front of the coffee table. “second of all, no party friday.

“now, what the hell is wrong with you? huh? i didn’t raise you to punch a kid for accidentally bumping you in the hall and i most definitely never taught you to talk back to me!

“i get it, billy. we all have bad days or weeks or whatever but we don’t scream at other people or start fights because we feel angry! do you understand that?”

“yes, ma’am,”

“now, why don’t you tell me why you’ve been all ‘hormonal teenager’ for the past week. well, the past month you’ve been weird, so start from the beginning,”

billy took a few deep breaths, “mom, i really don’t wanna—“

“no, we’re gonna talk. i took the whole day off work so we could fix this, so we are gonna talk and we are gonna figure this out, because you’re not you, billy. you are sweet and smiley and funny and you’ve been a little shit recently,”

billy smiled a little bit at his moms crude language, something most parents would frown upon.

“i’m pretty sure that steve and i aren’t really friends anymore. not like we used to be, at least,” billy scrunched up his nose, a tell that meant he was pretending he wasn’t about to start crying.

“why do you think that? you and steve are inseparable, have been since the day you met,”

“he got a girlfriend,” billy was staring just over his mom’s head, pretending he was looking at her. “and he hasn’t been...”

“hasn’t been what?”

he rolls his eyes, “i’m gonna sound like an asshole,”

“you are a little asshole, just say it,”

“he doesn’t pay attention to me anymore. all he talks about is the priss and how their relationship is going. i love him, mom, you know i do, but i can’t hear another word about her! i hate her!”

“why? is she mean to steve?”

“not mean mean, but, like, i talked to some of the guys we hang out with and they think steve’s been weird recently too. he doesn’t do anything without her and he’s different. i can’t explain it, he’s just not the same steve,”

“billy, it’s his first love, he’s gonna be all sappy for her and forget about his friends, it’s just how it is most of the time,”

“no! it’s not ‘just how it is’ because steve and i aren’t just friends, we’re closer and she’s just pulling him away! he doesn’t even care that she is!”

“billy,”

“you don’t understand!”

“i do, i get it completely, but you’re teenagers and you’re gonna get upset. i’m surprised you and steve have made it this far without having a big fight yet,”

“but we aren’t supposed to have big fights! he’s supposed to listen to me and i’m supposed to listen to him! we get each other and he knows me better than anyone! he’s not like my other friends, he’s—he’s steve—and i can’t loose him, mom,

“he was the first kid i really got to hang out with when you kicked dad out, and he helped me through that. we’re close! i can’t just lose him now, after everything!”

“billy, baby,” he looked up to her, teary eyes and all, “what are you really thinking about right now?”

“i think... i think i like steve, like, i like like steve,”

“i know, baby,”

billy’s head shot up to look at her eyes, “you—“

“billy, you’ve loved steve since the day you met, it’s harder not to notice,”

billy starts breathing deeper then, and his mom moves to sit on the couch, pulling him into her chest as she plays with his hair while he cries quietly about losing his best friend and crush.

“it hurts so bad, momma,”

she shushes his broken voice and continues to play with his hair, “i know, baby, i know,” she tears up along with him.

they stay like that until the school day ends, then when the sun goes down.

billy ends up falling asleep on the couch that night. she gets up to get the knitted blanket off of an adjacent chair and drapes it over his body, not being able to cover all of his legs, but staying there with him all night.

it was hard, as a mother, to watch her son break into so many little pieces. but it was even harder when she almost felt her heart break with his.

she knew steve, knew he would make whoever he ended up with a very, very happy person. he was sweet and went out of his way to make others happy.

and a selfish part of her really wanted steve to end up with her billy, for him to be treated right by the only person he’s been in love with. the person who he’d unintentionally pined after for years.

she just wanted to see her boys happy.

[tata-is-the-name]

Chapter 3 (Winter’s Gem) (Bucky Barnes AU)

CHAPTER 2

Characters: Bucky Barnes x You (AU)

Summary: Bucky Barnes has been scouted by your boss in Felicity Night, you were just a mere young, cleaner in Felicity night and have been living in the basement of the club for all your life. He's the most wanted Gigolo in the city, and taking him away from eager, thirsty women seemed to be impossible especially if he chose to be a Gigolo as his way of living.

Warning: Profanities. kind of suggestive matured content but they aren't doing anything? I mean, I dunno how to explain it. (HAHAHHAHA) This is an 18+ book, do I even have to warn you things? 😂 Floof? 

Words: 3,532

A/N: I hope to give justice to this Bucky Barnes series of mine. HEHEHE! TAGLISTS ARE OPEN, TATER TOTS! 

Disclaimer: PNG's, pictures and GIF's aren't mine. However, the whole series, one shots and edits are from moi. Let's add more GIFs now, Shall we? *winks*

TAGLISTS: @yn-the-reader @iwillmakeyoucraveme​ 

"You have a metal arm?!" You exclaimed all giddy and loud. Luckily, there was no people who you've caught attention. God, you were one loud, positive woman whenever he was alone with you. He thought and noted that to himself. Bucky shushed you by placing his metal finger on your lip. His gloves on the checkered, wooden table. Yet, you still eyed it in awe. The shiny metal glimmering under the dim lights. Utterly dumbstruck from his metal arm and by all the answers you've heard from him.

Y/N and Bucky were now in an mediocre type of an Italian restaurant. It was the only place opened. Add the fact that it was miles away from the sinful club that could distract them from having a peaceful night. Away from anybody who would question them why they were both eating dinner together.

Bucky have been admiring your face, the way how your lips lift up in happiness, your eyebrows softly cinched together in utter confusion when you eyed his metal hand riantly. The way you react to him, your mirthful attitude was making him awe. His head completely going elsewhere as he watched your face with a smile.

You were utterly acting different when he was alone with you. Unlike when you were in the club, you were always sad, scared and uncomfortable with the things happening around.

Yet, tonight you looked carefree and full of buoyancy.

"What happened? What made you have this metal arm?" He snapped out of his daydream, snapping out of his trance from admiring your face far too long. You stared back at him with a smile that reached your eyes.

Bucky would like to volunteer to pay a lot just to see those precious smile of yours than to see you frown.

"Accident, doll." He gruffly said. Taking a glimpse of your wondering face that was sitting in front of him. You left those questions unanswered as you curiously slipped your fingers in between the spaces of his metal hand, adoring how the plates weren't rough when it was swiping along your fingers. "Oooh! Hold my hand, Bucky!"

He lowly chuckled, completely entertained by your reaction before he softly gripped and locked your fingers with his, closing the spaces of your fingers intertwined together. Your hearts feeling all tingly and in a haywire but nobody dared to speak the feelings out. Was that a spark? "That's so coool! It doesn't feel cold or anything! How does it feel?"

Bucky licked his lips, a subtle taste of the pizza's tomato paste stuck on his taste buds. He reluctantly unclasped his hands with yours, trying to ignore the magnetic force wanting to slip his fingers with yours again. "Just like an actual arm, though a little heavier, Sugar. S'not a bother, I'm already used to it," He blinked, eyeing you chew on the ends of your soon to be finished pizza. You've had enough that could cover your week, had a little too much because it's been a long time since you had an all-meat pizza.

Besides, it feels good to chow down when it's a free treat.

"My turn," Bucky mumbled, swiping the crumbs off with the back of his metal hand. He lunged forward, elbows on the table as he set his dazzling Steele blue eyes on you. "Why do you sleep in the basement and not in your momma's room? Do you know how filthy it is down there? Rats, cockroaches and even ghosts live there,"

You hissed when you've heard the word 'ghost', they were giving you the shivers. The mere thought of it was sending you goosebumps, "I hate you, I hope the dead souls pull at your feet tonight," Y/N pouted, giving Bucky the stink eye.

God, you were so adorable. Bucky thought, chewing on his bottom lip, trying hard not to smile. It was probably the Tequila influencing his mind from thinking those types of things. "What? What did I say?"

Would you tell him? You were friends with him right now, right? As far as you remember, he had a plan to be friends with you. If Steve gets to be her friend, then I can be her friend. You remembered his words from earlier. Was he worth the trust? Yes, probably yes. "My..My mom doesn't want me with her. She hates me. All her life, all I have received from her was hatred and..and..."

Bucky knew what you were about to say next, and he didn't let you continue it because he knew how painful it was to admit that out of all the people who you could trust and love..your mother ends up hurting you the most. It was quite ironic to even think about. "Don't," He mumbled. Circling his hand in a clockwise motion, playing with the ice floating inside his glass of water as he stared at the glass at hand, looking like something was bothering him, and there was. You and your relationship with your own mother. "You don't need to continue, Doll. There's no need to hurt yourself more from the truth,"

You gave him a forced smile, leaning forward and placing your elbows on the table. Now closer to the handsome gentleman in front of you. "17th question now?" A long thread of hum left your lips as you tapped on your chin, eyeing your empty plate before lifting your gaze to see Bucky intently looking into your eyes like you're the only one that mattered in the world. Dug. Your heart tapped loudly. Dug. Dug--and again it did. "This one's kinda been in my mind since I last saw you,"

"I've been in your mind? That's probably why Steve's been looking for me the last time..he should've searched inside your head, didn't know I was worth to stay inside your interesting mind, Doll." He added cheekily, slanting his head in a very sexy manner. Luscious lips pursing together as he gave you his tantalizing smolder. Adding a wink that made your insides blow up.

Yet again, you were curling your toes inside your shoes to lessen the blush and your wild hormones wanting to react in a very bold way. Too early to jump on his lap, right? You're going to scare him away if you did.

You dramatically rolled your eyes, acting as if he was not affecting you. In reality, it was actually the opposite. "Ugh. No wonder you're a Gigolo,"

"If I was a stripper, what do you think my stage name would be?" Bucky suddenly said out of the blue, caressing his stubble and his cleft chin, appearing to find your next words interesting for him to hear.

Your face remained emotionless. "Broken white boy,"

"Do you see me broken?!"

"Ugh, can you please let me finish my question?" You groaned, face palming. He looked completely entertained by your answer, all smiles and chuckles.

"Why have you switched clubs? Gossip says--" Yet, he cut you off for the second time. He seemed to be rather hyper and too happy. The glossy look in his eyes meant he was slightly tipsy, but still sober enough to drive you both home. How can he even manage that?

Certainly years of practice. "Such the gossip girl you are, Doll. Love hearin' them from strangers. Or ya' just got pretty big ears for some hot topics?"

"--Gossip. Says." You emphasized every damn word, showing Bucky that you were serious and you wanted earnest answers. He knew damn well to zip his mouth now. "You've been recruited?"

Bucky seemed to think, before you saw him gave a weak nod. His metal fingers tapping the wooden table. "That's true."

"Why?" After that single worded question, you knew you saw his forehead twitch in the slightest. If you weren't closely staring at him, you wouldn't know.

A forced contract, a big pot of money that could keep me alive and the selfishness of one influential, filthy, manipulator. However, he didn't actually said that verbally. No, he would never bring you in such a treacherous position. Bucky doesn't want to endanger you when he was already neck deep in that deceitful agreement. "I'm the most highly requested gigolo in the city, doll. Your boss," He secretly wanted to spat that word out. It felt like he have spat out some atter. "--Noticed how I kept on bringing in the ladies in the club named 'Maximum Risk' at the west coast, then we had to talk, she offered me a much more logical compensation, a pretty humanly agreement," Kind of a lie. He so wanted to punch himself in the face. "--that I quickly agreed upon,"

You pursed your lips, nodding and trusting the words he said. "That quick?" He nodded and wiggled his fancy eyebrows. "Perks of being the best Gigolo out there, Sugar."

"So, you're kind of a lucky charm to us?"

What was making the ladies stay? What was keeping Bucky different from all the Gigolos out there in Felicity Night. There has got to be something in him that stands out. His attractive, worth-the-faint self was a plus, yet there has got to be more and you wanted to make sure of it. "What are you even famous for?"

That sparked something inside of Bucky. Oh, you were interested. Too interested in him and it was making him all giddy. "Do you really wanna know that?" He raised a brow, a cunning, lopsided smile on show that deserved the rush of tingles inside your core. Uh oh, there it was again. That stubborn, naughty urge.

"Why did I even ask that," You deadpanned and mumbled, groaning to yourself. You've intentedly jumped inside a rabbit hole even though you knew there was. "Famous for how I fuck? For the charming gentleman who could entertain everyone I escort?" He pertly answered, leaning closer with a hidden agenda to probably take advantage of your personal space as his face was closer than it was before. Your insides were jumping up and down, his voice switching a tone lower and quieter. Your eyes giving his luscious lips a once over before you hardly settled to stay looking at his hypnotizing Cerulean eyes. "For the high stamina? How I could go on and on till she's spent?"

You shifted in your seat, completely bothered by his words. Your heat was badly twitching and you wanted it to stop. You've only had that urge whenever you were watching something that could completely arouse you, so basically..This man was beginning to be an actual sex-on-legs and there was no deny that you aren't attracted to him because you are. You really are.

"Uhm," You gulped, cutting your gaze and staring at the couple who stood up from their seats. Ready to leave the restaurant. "I've asked too much, I think it was more than 20 now,"

"I got a question left," Bucky grabbed his gloves, slipping his metal hand in and you wanted nothing more than for his gloves to be off. His metal hand was doing things to you, giving yourself a very difficult time to stay still on your seat. "You and Steve..." He started, biting his bottom lip, giving you his sexy smoulder that made you tightly close your thighs together.

Bucky could see how you were holding your breath, that tiny shift in your eyes that looked like hunger and attraction. That was good, he wanted you where he wanted you to be. The feeling was completely mutual after all.

He gave you a sexy small smile, looking completely innocuous. "You both have a thing goin' on?"

"What?!" You choked on your own saliva, his question making you snort. Why would he even think that?

"The only thing going on around us is friendship. No more, no less! What made you even thought about that?!" You exclaimed, taking a gulp of your own water because the man in front of you was making you thirsty. Figuratively and literally.

Bingo. He sent a lopsided smile your way, glancing at your hand resting on top of the table in front of him and with no hesitation, he reached out to rest his hand on top of yours, making you choke on your water. "Just makin' sure, Doll." Bucky gently carressed the top of your hand that held some faded scars. Deeply staring into your eyes. You were completely shook from his boldness and words that held hidden meanings. Your heart running another mile and more.

"Wouldn't want to ruin the bro code,"

Weeks have passed after your secret dinner with Bucky. Nobody questioned why you both went home together that night. You had to make an excuse to Stan who had the guts to ask why you entered the club together. Thor saw you both leaving the club, climbing in Bucky's car and him, being the loud man he is decided that boastly telling it to Stan was a good idea.

Which the old man didn't forget to bug you with absolute, crazed questions.

"Oh, I knew you two were gonna fuck." Stan barged down the basement, having an excuse that he needed a very sturdy broom to get. You had to massage the temples of your forehead from his obscene assumptions that weren't even true.

"Did he give you the D?" His senile, shaky voice echoed around the basement. You had to cover yourself with a pillow, he was bombarding you with tons of questions that made your insides churn. Probably even hoped that his assumptions would happen soon. If that would even happen. Your heart fell after you told yourself that.

Your mother, well.. You hadn't even had to deal with her abusive hands the last few weeks which made you breath out a sigh. You didn't want to think why she was kind of in a better mood than she was before? She was being all smiley towards everyone except for you which was normal.

Though, you didn't want to jinx it soon. At least, she wasn't giving you a hard time or anything. Albeit the tiny heavy feeling inside of you is screaming to be more alert and cautious about it because she was acting too weird for your own good.

"Told you, he's gonna spark your interest one day," Stan reached for the broom beneath your single detached rusty bed. You exasperatedly groaned because of his rather factful propositions. He was basically giving you fact checks about how you were charmed by a Gigolo, a man who escorts women, a man who fucks other women in exchange for money.

You frowned thinking about what his job is, feeling your heart pricked by a big thorn from the realization that came into mind. He fucks other women in exchange for a pot of money with rich, wealthy women who wanted to have a piece of him.

Profanities came flooding over your head, you promised yourself that you weren't going to take a liking towards Gigolos. They were just going to break your heart. Your soul was already broken and frangible, why would you even risk yourself in accepting more agony when you've already had enough pain in your life?

"Sweetheart, you're a young, inconsolable woman who needs to have fun and get your heart going. If you'll stay broken and won't get yourself healed then you're forever going to feel like shit all the time. Barnes seems to like how poignant you are. Little shit probably wants some thrill in his damn life," Stan commented, wandering around your bed before stopping dead in his tracks, eyeing a handful of post it notes on top of an old bed side table. The small notes were in different colors and stacked up on top of one another.

'Please, don't starve yourself, doll. Here's a gift to make your stomach smile :)' Stan mentally read the top note, shaking his head and finding everything amusing. "Fucker's even taking care of you. He likes you a lot,"

You stared at the dusty ceiling, hearing foot steps coming from above and some dust falling on your face that made you sneeze. Stan dragged his heavy feet across your bed before propping his old ass beside you, giving you his advice. By the looks of your face, he knew you were having conflicted feelings towards Bucky. Stan knew how your mind worked and how you keep overthinking about certain things. "Bucky's a good guy, Y/N. You have nothing to worry about, he's the same as you. Broken and uncertain. You simply need each other to heal yourselves, find something good in your lives."

You could feel warmth wrap around your hand, and before you knew it. Stan was reaching out to take your hand in his, patting the top of your hand for the sympathy he felt with you. "Love takes risks. Give him a chance, not all Gigolos are the same. Steve's his best friend, you know how Steve is." He added, convincing you to give his favorite guy a chance. He knew Bucky at heart, he had bonded with the guy once he stepped foot in Felicity Night, despite of Bucky's pretty boy looks, Stan knew how big his heart was. He even knew something that was meant to be kept for the three of them. Steve, him and Bucky. Only them.

"Birds of the same feather, flock together. To make it simpler, they're both good guys, Y/N. So, cut the denial shit and get it on with that guy," Stan snickered, voice seeming to be filled with phlegm before loudly clearing his throat.

You chewed on your bottom lip apprehensively, propping your elbows behind you to give the old man a look, "We don't even love each other??"

"That's what you only got from what I've said?" He questioned skeptically before standing up from his place on your bed, brushing his hands off his pants, shaking his head and totally unconvinced from the words coming out of your mouth. "Bullshit. You're gonna love him soon,"

He doddered till he reached the door, stepping up the staircase with his feeble legs. Singing old love songs with his senile voice, chuckling after you yelled, sounding so defeated.

"Whatever, Stan!"

Your head fell on the hard pillows with a thud, hissing once you felt the painful impact. Your pillows were hard, and you completely forgot about that. You swallowed the saliva forming in your throat, trying to calm your fast beating heart. Yet, you couldn't because all you had in mind was Bucky, his letters and how he was trying to take care of you.

You breathed out a sigh, closing your eyes and let your imaginations take over. Imaginations about what could happen when you plan on finally opening your heart to a Gigolo.

It wasn't just any Gigolo, but it was a man who made a deep impression, a man who planned on connecting your heart with his. A man who planned on taking care of you, wanting to keep you away from the evil souls who dare even touch you the slightest.

Yet, he was a man who could get your heart broken with just a single snap of his fingers. Washing your heart away like dust in the skies. Why? Because your heart was already drowning with the feelings you had for him. It was too deep that you couldn't swim up to save yourself.

You were already liking him too much, and there was no escape because that's what Bucky wanted.

You and your big, delicate heart that he could fix with just a single kiss.

TELL ME WHAT Y’ALL THINK OF THIS CHAPTER! THANK YOU! 

[nightshade-imagines]

Heya !! How are you ? :3c Teen!Sibling time 8D Reader and [character] didn't say yet they see each other like siblings. One day, as the three of them are walking down the street, a group of teenagers come of nowhere and start laughing. "Oh look, it's the freak ! They're friends with monsters !" Reader frown, crossing their arms and stepping in front of [character] "They aren't my friends." 1/2

I’ve always been a sucker for those types of moments! Also, sort of my first time writing for Underswap Alphys!

(Note: For any of the Fells, experiencing any kind of familia/platonic relationship with anyone outside you’re real family is confusing (especially if it’s a human). The main problem being the mind set of: This person has no biological connection to me, we are not bound by blood or magic but I continue to stay close to them, this person hardly serves any useful purpose to me for me to be risking anything for them, but I do it anyway, this person offers me no essential elements to my survival but I keep them around anyways and this person does things that others would be dead for doing but I let them go with a laugh. This mindset is what makes it so hard, for the Fells and it often leaves them dumbfounded. At least when it comes to romance they understand that if nothing else, it’s just a monsters natural reaction to hormones an all that crap, so that is why Underground, romance was more accepted than just keeping someone around because you’re really good friends with them.)

⭐UT Papyrus: Papyrus was initially dumbstruck by those kids’ rude behaviour and was about to step up and correct them when you quickly moved in front of him. Your first reply caught him totally by surprise and he stammered out an uncertain and questioning response, “HUMAN, WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M NO-” But he was quickly cut off by your follow up statement and gave you a look of disapproval, “HUMAN! SUCH LANGUAGE IS NOT NECESSARY AND BESIDES I’M SURE THAT THEY…”, he freezes mid sentence and his eyes snap open in realization at what you just said, “AWWW, HUMAN!”, he pulls you into a hug and there seems to be a light blush dusting his cheek as he bears the most genuine smile than you’ve ever seen. “I-I SEE YOU AS FAMILY TO, HUMAN.” You hug him back and he seems to pull you even closers and you giggle, “THIS IS WONDERFUL! I’VE…I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A BIG BROTHER! I MEAN I GUESS SANS IS TECHNICALLY SMALLER THAN ME, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!”, “Heh, of course.” The two of you completely forgot about the entire reason this conversation started and the bully’s were left sanding there watching your display until one of them spoke up again, “Uh, gross!” You and Papyrus payed no mind to the comment as Papyrus continued to chatter excitedly about how he was going to be the best big brother ever and something about reaching maximum “friendship power”. “*Gasp* HUMAN, WE MUST INFORM SANS OF THIS NEW DEVELOPMENT AT ONCE, HE’S GOING TO BE HAPPY AS WELL, THOUGH HE WILL PROBABLY BE TO LAZY TO SHOW IT!” You laughed to yourself again as Papyrus bolted back to his house with you in his arms. Needless to say, you were pretty sure that that defiantly wasn’t the outcome the bully’s were hoping for.

⭐UF Sans: Red sensed the hostility in the bullies’ souls when they approached you and readied his magic just in case they tried anything. While their attack may not have been physical it still pissed him off. This certainly wasn’t the first time he had seen or heard about you getting trouble for hanging out with him and his brother but you never seemed fazed by it. It was amazing in itself that you not only willingly put up with his brothers “eccentric” personality but you did so with undying determination. Like, even though both of them were huge jerks at times, you held tight to the light you saw in them even if it meant you got dragged through the mud to keep your grip. These thoughts raced through his mind in split second and he bared his teeth in a smirk. These kids were either really brave or really stupid to be messing with you while he was there, he’d put his money on the latter. “Freak huh? Well see who’s the freak after I’m done with yah.” He took a step forward only to be blocked by you, “Hey, what’s the deal, kid?” His eyes widen for a moment at your response to the bullies but before he was hit with any form of indignation, you ad your follow up. At first, he could only smirk at the bullies’ obvious surprise at your threat, then what you said really sank in. Family? You actually saw him and his brother as family? That……what? Did he feel the same way? Now that he thought of it, it seemed almost like his brother thought of you that way already. While Boss would never openly admit it, Red knew his brother had an unusually strong soft spot for this human. Heck, just the other day you were freakin’ holding onto Paps piggy back ride style and peppering the top of his skull with kisses just to fluster him! Never once did Boss make any violent move towards her and was rendered totally helpless. Red had to admit, it was pretty hilarious to watch The Great and Terrible Papyrus flail around with a beet red face as he tried to reach his back and pull you off all while spouting out empty threats. It finally ended when you blew a huge raspberry onto the side of his face, dropped off his back and booked it down the hall with Boss chasing close behind. It didn’t take long at all for him to catch you and carry you back out over his shoulder as you continued to giggle your head off, It reminded Red so much of how he used to mess with Boss when they were younger. After a rant from Boss, her “punishment” for “assaulting” The Great and Terrible Papyrus was taste testing his newest recipe, which in itself wasn’t bad considering Boss was an ace in the kitchen, but he tended to remake the dish over and over again until it was up to his standards. “NOW, HUMAN, WOULD YOU SAY THIS ONE IS BETTER THAN THE LAST?”, “Yeah, sure.” “WOULD YOU SAY THAT THIS ONE IS THE BEST SO FAR?”, “Yep, paps, you nailed it!” Boss leaned in closer and examined your every expression, “SO YOU’RE SAYING THAT THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY FOR ME TO MAKE IT ANY MORE PERFECT THAN IT ALREADY IS?”, “I-uh…yes?”, “I DON’T BELIEVE TO YOU, BACK TO THE STOVE I MUST TRY AGAIN!”, “*Sigh*.” Heh, poor kid, any longer and you probably woulda’ gone into a food coma. That’s an over exaggeration of course but you defiantly crashed on the couch afterwards, apparently humans do that to. *Snirk* The look on your face, “Heh, I guess you really couldn’t stomach that much pasta”, “Sans, please stop talking…”, “You can’t really blame paps for remakin’ it so many times, just thing of all the pastabilities!”, “Sans, I’m going to die on your couch now.”, “Alright, alright, I’ll short-cut ya home later.” You just offered a small thankful groan in response before going limp on the couch and Red chuckled. Thinking back to that made him feel a strange fondness in his chest. Guess I have a soft spot for you as well, kid, you really were something else. Heh heh…heh…did some human seriously fall into his and his brother’s life and end up becoming a part of their family? Finally realising that he had been reminiscing far to long, he snapped out of his trance and turned back to the situation at hand. He wasn’t sure what exactly happened while he wasn’t paying attention but things certainly seemed to be heating up and he mentally slapped himself for just standing there while you dealt with these jerks. One of the bully’s actually swung at you and Red immediately jumped into action and grabbed their wrist in a tight grip. He started at their hand for a minute then slowly turned his head to look at them. His left eye lit up and a sharp, sadistic smile snapped onto his face, he defiantly looked terrifying as he spoke, “You did not just do that…” The bully stammered in fear and tried to pull his wrist away with no avail, “Oh, now you’re in trouble!”. The bully continued to stammer out fearfully as Red pulled him closer and their faces were almost touching. Red smiled again as he whispered to them, “Or, you could apologize and run away with your tail between you legs like a good little boy”, Red turned to you and winked. The bully quickly nodded and looked to you before quickly apologising and Red let go of his wrist, “Now run!”, the bully immediately turned tail and booked it out if there and Red turned around to you again with a proud look on his face. The two of you just smiled at each other for a few minutes before bursting out in laughter, “Did you see the look on that guys face when when you caught his fist, priceless!”, “Ha, yeah, and the way his “buddies” took off the second we started to fight back!“, ”What a bunch of jerks! It’s kind if a shame though I wanted to be the one to teach them a lesson, but thanks, Sans, for standing up for me.“ “Hey, don’t worry about it, kid, you’ll get your chance.” The laughter died down and you flashed him a real smile and he hesitated for a second, “And, uh, kid, about what you said, about us being yer family…"He looked away, “I don’t…not feel the same way”, you smirked, “Do you want to try that without the double negative?”. “Nope!”, Red turned and resumed walking the way you were earlier, “C'mon, the Boss is gonna be pissed if we’re late for dinner again”, you jogged to catch up to him, “Okay, Okay race you there…bro!”, you laughed and rushed ahead of him quickly as he looked at you in shock that then morphed into a smile, *sigh* this soft spot is gonna be the death of me.

⭐US Alphys: Alphys wrapped an arm around your neck and gave you a noogie as she excitedly talked about some new anime she and Undyne started watching. It still kind of amazed you that someone as hardcore and intense as Alphys would be into girly animé and other cute, fluffy stuff (or kawaii as she called it). You just smiled to yourself at the thought when you noticed some kids walking towards you. After they spoke, Alphys snarled at there words, “You wanna try saying that again, punk!” You stepped in front of her and she turned to you in shock at your response but that quickly turned to a sly smile when you finished and she stepped up beside. Despite being considerably shorter, she still managed to look threatening. Alphys looked up to you and winked with her good eye and there was a look of uncertainly in the bullies’ eyes as they all took a step back when she spoke up, “What say the both of us us teach these chumps a lesson?”, you returned her sly smile, “It would be my pleasure!”

(Oh also, I noticed that I messed up a little on this ask I did earlier: https://nightshade-imagines.tumblr.com/post/168212653238/heya-how-are-you-3-sf-brossibling-time-so#notes and posted the ruff draft instead of the final version so I went back and corrected a few things. It was just some grammar mistakes and a few rewordings that were supposed to be in the final version.)

[baileymacias]

Does Complan Increase Height Quora Wonderful Useful Ideas

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How Is It Possible To Grow Taller

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[magdaleneswift-blog]

CELIBATE OLD MEN EXPLAIN SEX TO THE WORLD.

The vatican documents on sex are all about love and being a symbol of God’s love for humanity.  Bull – With their protection of the pedophiles and endorsement of the rape culture, their actions show what they really mean the purpose of sex is – It is the best way to declare war on another human being and make sure to do the maximum amount of damage possible.  My experience of sex after two marriages are that it has NOTHING to do with love and men see it only as a means of domination.

MEN HATE SEX

Through the years of my life I have noted that men really hate sex and go to elaborate and continuous efforts to avoid it as much as possible while pretending the opposite.  After 40+ years of live I am no longer under the illusion that sex is about love, affection, comfort, support, reassurance, or even carnal desire.  It is purely a male power trip or adrenalin rush.

AVOIDANCE TECHNIQUES AND EVIDENCE

The following are some of the more common methods men use to avoid sex while pretending the opposite.

PORN

I can think of no other activity that is LESS likely to result in long term physical contact with another adult person of the appropriate gender.  Porn is nearly always watched by oneself shut up in a closed room.  Most of the public mock priests for choosing celibacy to devote their lives to God and the time they spend gazing in adoration at the holy presence or sacred writings contemplating the love of God.  Porn watchers spend hours gazing in adoration at CRT screens or color photos.  I don't know what they can be contemplating other than the space between their ears or the space between their legs.  It is pretty much guaranteed that neither is seeing much use. One of porn's saving graces is that as its disciples lock themselves away from the general public for long periods of time, they normally avoid annoying the rest of us, except for the occasional crusade against censorship.  These usually wind up resulting in the promotion of celibacy. That is porn's second saving grace.  The discussion and/or content of it completely turns off most women; making celibacy seem incredibly attractive.  The old copy of Playboy my ex kept to read the fighter plane articles was enough to bring me out of the mood in minutes. I just spent time in a hotel where I couldn't sleep at 3:00 am.  I went down to the lobby to read to avoid waking the rest of the family.  I used the public computer to read my e-mail.  The previous user had left about a dozen porn pages up that I had to shut down to get to the e-mail program.  Most of the images looked at women as objects to hurt or humiliate.  When I got up, I noticed the seat was soaking wet.  I was afraid to think what it could be.  The hotel manager said the person had sat down with sopping wet clothes. The female equivalent, the 'Cinderella/vampire Romance' in which the love and attraction is for one partner for life/eternity either bores most men or causes them to flee in terror.  The exception seems to be if they are looking for someone to volunteer to do their laundry.

MASTURBATION

A related technique is masturbation.  Again, the point is to spend as much time as possible away from members of the opposite sex.  It also warps your outlook such that when you do find a partner, they are only seen as extensions of a dick.  That is the truth to the priests saying that masturbation causes blindness.  It has nothing to do with a need for an optometrist.  It has to do with allowing your lower head to control how you see the world.  You have to admit the view down there is pretty limited. (Note to religious fundamentalists:  Truth does not always need to be literal to be true and often becomes ridiculous when interpreted that way. See St. Augustine's Confession Book 11 Chapter 20)) Masturbation also leads to the perception that the penis is all.  Men are often so fixated on these few square inches of skin, that when it fails them, they are left with nothing. Some men become so conditioned on masturbation that they can't function any other way. I can't imagine any woman's dream partner is some putz who can only relate to his right hand. Again it does have the saving grace to partially clear you head to allow you to separate true feelings from hormones.  Mostly I just found it depressing to think I had flushed my life and my children's lives down the toilet for the small benefit of the physical sensation.

REALLY 'IMPORTANT' TASKS THAT HAVE TO BE DONE DURING LIMITED TIME ALONE WITH SPOUSE

Men always say they are interested in sex during dating and they are good for maybe a month or two after marriage.  After that, they start trying to avoid it and come up with the most transparent excuses, especially after children when couple time is limited. My ex said he had to read computer magazines for half an hour to get in the mood.  This was before children.  Also, it was absolutely vital to spend hours cataloging screen savers. He also often 'had to wait for a BM.' I swear he spent half his life on the toilet.  He must have heard the study that said the most fool proof way of avoiding rape was evacuating your bowels.  This is supposedly such a turn off that most rapists will leave. To all those naysayers, I used to have an excellent figure, but gave up trying to get any response from initiating interest in my 20's.  I even told him that I was going to stop annoying him as it was too humiliating to be always brushed off.  I remember years later, during one of the few times he was interested in sex.  After we finished, he said, "Wow! Why don't we do this more often?"  I remember lying there thinking "I've been wondering that for years, but if I say a word he will never want sex again." He also said the unconditional love was wonderful, but chose celibacy to devote his life to little pieces of cardboard:  Pokémon, Magic the Gathering, Star Trek, Pong, etc." (Just how much lead do they put in the ink on those cards?)  I mean get real, what is unconditional love when you can have little pieces of card board.  On the plus side, it does give new meaning when considering the unconditional love of our Savior, what he chose to go through, and the trash we choose rather than him. With husband number 2, it is the fish tank that can only be changed during the short time we have to be alone.  Or worse, when it he would literally RUN out the door, including the time right before I was going to leave to make an emergency trip cross country to care for my mother's cancer and move her to our town. Of course, once I was gone for over a week, he is on the phone insisting he wants me to abandon my mother to come home because HE is horny.  He wondered why I was upset when I got home.

SMOKING AND OTHER HEALTH SABOTAGE.

This is another extreme measure men use to avoid sex.  Their systems functions with basic hydraulics.  Smoking and obesity both clog the pipes and interfere with the function of the system.  Based on experience, they are only functional until about 35 anyway.  I assume 30 if they choose to smoke.  They must really hate sex in order to sabotage their health this way to avoid it.

THE QUICKIE

Also known as "Let's get this onerous activity over as soon as possible."  This most often happens when they wake up in the morning with an erection.  (I think they are shocked when their equipment works.)  Of course this only happens when you have to hurry to get to work on time and they have the day off.  It never happens on a weekend when you have time.  It is one of the sadistic games they like to play.  Believe me; we get the message in a hurry.

YENTL - EXHAUSTION

The corollary to this is to keep you working non-stop so you drop from exhaustion.  Barbara Streisand made this technique famous in the movie "Yentl".  She was a woman pretending to be a man so she could go to school.  She got railroaded into marrying another woman and was trying to find ways to avoid sex and not blow her cover.

CONTINUOUS DISCUSSION OF SUBJECT

My ex always used to say that the easiest way to tell if high school boys were having sex was to listen to how often they talked about it.  As he said, "If you are doing, you don't need to talk about it."  I would agree.  Based on this premise, there are a lot of celibate people in this world.   Unfortunately, it gives the impression when you are dating that they ARE interested in a physical relationship.  This is a second sadistic game men like to play. A good test is to ask for help with housework while dating.  If they flee, dump them ASAP.  They aren't worth the bother and celibacy is better.  If they agree and show signs of wanting to help out long term, latch onto them, it doesn't matter WHAT they look like.  This is the female version of the old male advice.  "Cooking lasts.  Kissing don't."

FASHION

Men also try to get out of sex by perpetuating the myth you have to wear sexy clothes.  I tried that. The only reaction I got was contact dermatitis from the synthetic material.  They are all designed to be as uncomfortable and impractical as possible to add injury to insult.  My ex always used to say that women's clothes are designed by gay men who hate women and want to make them suffer as much as possible.  This has been well documented since at least the 40's.  My aunt had a book from around that time frame called "The Hussy's Handbook."  It asked the question "Why would women want to look ridiculous by wearing a hat that looked like a pair of mittens?"   I find the ones who design the patent leather shoes for little girls the most frightening.  Those shoes have soles as slippery as ice.  Wearing them is a threat to life and limb.  Their designers must want to kill girls off before they have the chance to reach sexual maturity. Mostly, I think men just get off on seeing how ridiculous they can make women look.  They will then sometimes flaunt this by taking you out to dinner to show you off.  This does what is really important to them; impress the other guys.  You can't do anything in a public restaurant.  Going to a hotel with a spouse does absolutely nothing.

PREGNANCY & BIRTH CONTROL

It is often hypothesized that men are frightened of fatherhood and pregnancy.  The truth is that they look forward to it as a way of avoiding sex.  My ex used it as a tacit excuse to avoid sex for nine months.  Of course that was about how often he was interested anyway.  It never dawned on me that hoping for maybe once a month qualified me as a nymphomaniac. When my ex and I first became a couple, I assumed part of his lack of interest was fear of pregnancy.  I offered to go to a doctor for birth control, but he said he didn't want me destabilizing my body chemistry for something that happened so infrequently.  I didn't dare touch that statement. With husband number two, I tried the ring.  It worked beyond his wildest dreams.  He said it changed my scent and he lost all interest in sex.  I could only stand it a week anyway, as I reacted to it and had to put up with the soreness as well as the celibacy.  I just read a study confirming this.  Male lemurs loose all sexual interest in female lemurs on birth control. I also tried natural family planning.  I gave that up after a few months as well.  He was never interested in finding out when the safe times were anyway.  Also guess the only time he showed the slightest interest? The saddest part to all of this is the feminine myth that a baby will make a man want to stick around forever.  Some of the worst are the Harlequin Romances.  Too often the males are actually looking at pregnancy as an excuse to avoid any kind of long term relationship.  At least one study says male abandonment is the number one reason for abortions.  At least one male African American sex education instructor spoke out against this practice saying the men in the community needed "to stop walking away from their children as if they had had a bowel movement."  The real African (not American) men I have heard put a priority on providing for their children.  The walking away was a dehumanizing technique started by the slavers looking for justification for their genocidal behavior.  Getting a woman pregnant and then walking away is NOT the action of a man, but of a two year old with a hormone problem. Remember, a wedding ring is part of a WITNESSED promise (legal contract) to stick around and provide for any children of the woman.  Ladies - Don't believe anything else.  Even if the men still don't intend to follow through, you at least have some legal recourse.  Celibacy is a small price to pay for the security of your children. Some of these men may even believe what they say themselves; until they find out there is work involved. I have heard that the Islamic version of heaven is supposed to be several virgins.  This makes absolutely no sense.  I suppose a woman in this heaven could form a dancing group for entertainment. What would the men do?  The virgins wouldn't be virgins in a short period of time.  What would the man do after that? Flee for all eternity from several wives or try to provide for an infinite number of children?  In any case, if this is your incentive, are you worshipping God or your dick?

WHAT THEY REALLY ARE AFTER IMPRESS OTHER MEN

Don't let them kid you.  Sex to men is only a way to impress other men.  They swear up and down they aren't gay, but the only time they are interested in sex is when they are around other men.  My ex would swear he wasn't gay, and then make life choices such that he spent all of his time with adolescent males. The best example of this was one of my coworkers.  He was loudly proclaiming at the office Christmas party that he wanted to go home and sleep with his wife.  With that kind of behavior, it was obvious he wouldn't have even thought of sex if the other guys weren't there.  Since his wife was there, he was also obviously trying to get out of sex for another year.  Publically embarrassing your wife is one of the best methods to do so.  It didn't help that their children and other co-worker's children were there. Unfortunately for him, it may have backfired.  I have been in the position of having sex with someone I totally despise because I was that tired of celibacy.  It is not an experience I would ever want to repeat. If you watch the nature chimpanzee documentaries you can see this often, as part of the male dominance battle, the male ends by having sex with a female.  He apparently isn't interested in the female except as a minor prop for the contest with the other males. Growing up around cattle, it soon becomes apparent that all herd animals have homo sexual tendencies.  Human beings are herd animals.  My own crack pot hypothesis is that it is necessary for civilization as it allows men to tolerate each other long enough to build something.  The female version in primates is a survival technique to promote bonding to avoid getting beaten up by the inferior males.

POWER TRIP

The above reminds me of one of my daughter's favorite stories.  It also relates to the "The more they talk, they less they do" hypothesis.  My daughter is big into the Warrior Cats series.  In this series, the cats are intelligent and live in human social structures.  One fierce cat was called "Scourge."  He was a house pet turned feral and took over a large urban territory.  In one scene, he is being run down by a pack of dogs.  They surround him and tell him, "Run." He stands his ground and tells them, "No."  The graphics on the dogs immediately changes from threatening to confused and upset.  They say, "Please?"  They have absolutely no idea what to do with a cat if it isn't running away.   Men are often like that.  They are either into the challenge of the hunt itself, or get off on the power trip of making women afraid or insecure.  You can see this nearly every day.  A car of young men will drive by and you will see them emulate Marley, the dog.  They roll down the window and bark something stupid; thereby disturbing the peace and announcing to everyone in a one block radius that they have no intention of getting within 100' of a woman.  This also announces that they prefer the company of their male palls to a woman. A male health class lecturer when I was in high school confirmed this.  He said that the last thing these guys wanted was sex.  He said he wished he was a girl in those cases.  He would run up to car and say, "Sure, let's go", just to see how fast they can run away. (Note:  Don't try this for real.  You can find a real nut case ready to cause you grievous injury.) This attitude, taken to the extreme, is rape.  This isn't sex.  It is open war fare.  It makes you wonder what kind of men can hate women enough to do this.  The socially acceptable consequence of perpetrating rape is to be locked up for long periods of time with other men.  That must be their ultimate goal. Thankfully, I have never had to deal with a rapist.  I have thought though, that my daughter's hero may be on to something.  It might work to stare them down.  Look at them like they have a screw loose.  Shrug.  Ask them if they are allergic to the really strong antibiotics and head toward them.  I wouldn't be surprised if they would run so fast they would knock themselves cold on the nearest fixed object. The man who kidnapped the woman for several years and thought he was treating her well was not only on a power trip, he was also about 900 years out of date.  The kidnapped bride was outlawed under English law in the 1100's.  The right of ownership of any woman you could catch was part of many Native American cultures.  It may still exist in some cultures around the world.  In this country, women were the legal property of their husbands until the 1900's.  Go to any courthouse and read all the land deeds that include "To Have and to Hold."  This is a legal phrase dealing with property transference.

ADRENALINE RUSH

The Ancient Greeks had a god for this.  Eros (Sexual Passion) was the son of Ares (War) and Aphrodite (Love).  It is a well known biological fact that terror triggers a drive to reproduce before you die. "There is no passion like that snatched from beneath the blade of a sword."  I think this is why a lot of men lose interest in sex after they are married.  Once they realize their partner isn't going to try to kill them, the drive is gone. Note: If you know that what you really want is only the adrenaline rush; TAKE UP BUNGEE JUMPING!.  It is safer and causes less damage. This also relates to the teenage girl vampire fantasy.  With a vampire you get both the eternal love and the adrenaline rush from potential death.  I just pray they grow out of this BEFORE they have a baby. Also note: the search for eternal love is one reason women tend to be more interested in religion than men.  The reason the first 'Mormons' practiced polygamy was the fact that they had several women for every man and they insisted their fellow church members share. George Bernard Shaw's version was, "Women would rather share a good man, than have all of a poor one."  It works for gorillas anyway.  (See PBS - Nature - The Gorilla King)

COLLECTING

You also get the opposite; men who seem to want to have sex with as many different women as possible.  Various books talk about the inferiority complex of men like this.  It may be just me, but this seems more like stamp collecting than sex.

AVOIDANCE OF HOUSE HOLD CHORES

This is the flip side to the Yentl approach.  Leave the women to do all the work as avoiding cleaning is much more important than sex. One of the great mysteries of the universe:  Why is the gender that spends the most time staring at a toilet bowl, the one that is the least likely to clean it?  From women who have to clean up after them:  The aim and eyesight of a lot of them are so bad; the thought of male fascination with weapons and live ammunition is doubly frightening.  Is this part of the army physical? Girls you may want to watch this one.  If they can't control this day to day function, don't believe it if they say, "Don't worry, I can pull out in time."  Men and women both have a great potential for self delusion. I told my son.  "Watch where you aim that thing.  You can kill someone with it."

SHORT OF ENTERTAINMENT

Sometimes men don't want sex, they just can't think of anything else to do.  That at least was the one "Rescue 911" episode.  The man broke into the woman's house and asked for sex because he was bored and couldn't think of anything else to do.

WHY? BRAIN DAMAGE

According to Dr. Amen in his book about curing ADD, the SPECT brain scans of men show a great deal less activity in the area of awareness of emotions than women.  So ladies, they aren't always trying to feed you a line.  Apparently, most of them have no clue how they feel and what they want. He also hypothesizes that the rapid increase in autism spectrum cases is a result of the population bomb.  If you have no impulse control, you are going to have unprotected sex at an early age.  This results in a rapid reproduction of people with little education and no self control having lots of children. Their children will reach sexual maturity before the age of the children of people with self control; who postpone having children until they finish school and have stable employment. For survival of the species, women are biologically programmed to choose mates who will stick around for the twenty some years necessary to raise a child to maturity.  At least one study, showed women to be masters at choosing men by sight who are likely to do so.  The above brain study explains why men don't understand why women want to talk about relationships.  A large part is trying to gauge whether you are worth the effort.  Ladies you may want to forget the conversation and go by determining if they are trust worthy in other parts of everyday life.  Forget looks.  Go by ethics.  It is well known that women want church going men.  It is one indication the man is thinking about something other than 5 minutes of entertainment.  If they can't be believed for the little truths, how can they be trusted for the big ones?  "Don't worry.  I'm sterile and don't have HIV" It has also been proven that adolescents of both genders are like the HERO robot I programmed in college.  It was designed to have two batteries:  One for movement, the other for 'thinking.'  It was not uncommon for the 'thinking' battery to run down before the movement battery, causing the robot to take off in random directions.  The brain of a human adolescent has not matured to think more than 5 minutes ahead, leading too many of them to use the head between their legs for their thinking.   I haven't been able to able to understand why when men hit middle age; they want to return to this condition.

FEAR OF WOMEN

At least some psychological texts say at least some men are terrified of a woman's sexuality and what it does to them.  These men must really hate sex.  Apparently a lot of them must live in Middle Eastern nations. Some not only mutilate women's genitals out of fear of their sexuality, they have been known to wire them shut.  This also increases death in child birth and birth defects.

NON-FUNCTIONAL EQUIPMENT

Judging by the amount of e-mail I get for male enhancement medication, 99% of the men on this planet must have problems.  It is enough to make you wonder how we got to 6 billion people.  I have yet to see an ad for women having problems with sex. Incidentally, the male sexual enhancement pills work fine, much to my husband's dismay.  He told the doctor he was getting them because I wanted them.  After making a big deal of getting them, he refused to take them for nearly a week until I called his bluff when we knew the children would be out of the house.  I get the message and will not bother him again.

BIRTH CONTROL

This may be related to the fact that waste water treatment plants and apparently the natural water cycle do not filter out pharmaceuticals.  We have had over a generation of men drinking the birth control pills we invented to prevent pregnancy.  It seems they work better than expected.  Ironic if you realize they were invented to INCREASE sexual activity.

CONCLUSION

It seems the only women with realistic expectations of male sexuality are the nuns.