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yoonia · 1 year

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the bedroom hymns ● chapter iv

⟶ Chapter summary | The time has finally come for you to finally depart from home. You have no idea what to expect from the upcoming journey, but knowing how peculiar the circumstances have been, you probably should have predicted that this trip would not be an average one after all.

chapter iv. in bloom

It is finally time.

It still feels quite surreal to think that you are going to leave the palace, to finally escape this heavenly-like prison where you grew up in. It still seems unfathomable to think that you are going to be in another place before the next morning arrives.

But here you are now, standing at the courtyard where the royal carriage is going through its final preparations, with the King standing close by as he is giving his final instructions and commands to the driver of the carriage and the guards who are going to travel alongside you. On the corner of your eyes, you can see Marc and a few guards loading up all the luggage into the carriage, with a couple of other guards making sure that the carriage is safe and secure by checking every detail closely. Meanwhile, you can see Nanny Abigail and Miss Pippa getting busy setting up the seats to make sure that it would be comfortable for your journey, all while fretting about the lack of pillows and blankets to keep you warm inside.

Aside from Miss Pippa and a small group of guards, you see no sight of any other palace staff around. Not even the advisors or the men who would often work closely with the King. Knowing that your father had intended to keep your departure as a confidential matter, you can only assume that he may have relieved everyone in the palace out of their duties. Except for the people who matters.

As much as you are anxious about leaving, you are also excited for it. To be able to feel a bit of freedom regardless of why you are being sent out of this place, and when it feels like your prayers had been heard—to be given the chance to venture deep into the Elcester Forest and see for yourself the secrets hidden in its gloom. The only apprehension that you have about this trip is the fact that tonight would be the eve of Lemmus Rising—the sacred night that should give more reasons to stay away from the deep forest, where it was said that the souls of the dead would appear once the night has fallen.

You did wonder the reason why the King would choose this specific evening for your departure. Until you realise that there would not be another night like this one.

During the evening, everyone in the capital city and the surrounding districts would be paying more attention to their rituals and staying clear from the dark places around the woods, opening up the chance for the royal carriage to make its trip across the Coyne River and into the forest without drawing too much attention. There would also be the thick mist, the fog which would be able to conceal the royal carriage’s movements across the borders until it descends into the deep woods.

You look up to the sky, watching as the signs of the Lemmus Rising begin to unfold. The bright daylight has been rapidly fading, melting into the warm shade of burnt orange that is dancing across the horizon as the sun continues to descend. Right down below, a thin presence of mist has begun to rise, crawling slowly across the cobblestone-covered ground. You watch it swirling around the wheels of the carriage and passing between the horses’s restless legs as if it has come alive.

While you are closely observing all the movements around you and the changes that are happening as the day turns to dusk, His Majesty finishes his instructions to the driver and the captain of the guards. It draws your attention away from the sunset when you hear the King’s deep voice saying, “I entrust you to do your best to make sure my daughter’s safety.”

“Indeed, Your Majesty,” you hear the driver speaks. “I will make sure that Her Highness will arrive safely at the home castle by sunrise without any harm.”

Something that he says draws your curiosity that you quickly turn to look at the driver, just in time to see him bending his waist down to bow at the King. You never paid much attention to the driver when he first arrived with the royal carriage, so you didn’t quite get a good look at the man until now. The driver looks tall, and there is something in the way he presents himself which reminds you of the pub-keeper, Sir Elias. But while he has similar broad shoulders and a pair of arms that look almost as strong, his body is leaner. It makes him look a bit taller than he probably should have once he straightens back up to his height. You cannot tell wether he is old or young, with half of his face covered in a layer of dark, thick moustache and beard, but there is quite a sharpness in his gaze and soft lines appearing around his eyes when he smiles that are showing you that he may not have been that much younger compared to your father.

You barely have a thing to say when the driver is dismissed, and King Aneas comes to pull you away briefly before letting you go. Once you are in a safe distance away from the other people around you, he surprises you by asking, “Are you armed?”

“Yes, Father,” you answer him with a low voice. You signal to him the presence of the dagger that is hidden under your dress, tied up to your thigh with the leather-made garter belt that you created with your own hands during one of your crafting lessons. “I carry with me the golden dagger you gave me, and prepared a bow and a substantial amount of arrows. I have them all set up together with my short sword under the seats earlier with Marc’s help.”

King Aneas, who is known to always hide his expression in front of others, smiles proudly after hearing your answers. “Well done, Princess. I hope that you won’t have to use them during the journey as you will have the guards coming with you to keep you safe, but it’s always good to be prepared,” he says. There is something in his eyes that makes you wonder if there is something else that he may want to say to you, but the look disappears completely as he straightens himself up. “The driver to the carriage is someone who is familiar with the territory and he will take you safely to the home castle. He is also trained to defend himself so you will be safe in his hands. But always stay alert, no matter what.”

“Father, what—”

Before you can have a chance to speak, your father immediately adds, “And don’t forget. Never take off your necklace. Make sure that you keep it on you the whole time you are away and never to lose it.”

Despite the voices nagging in the back of your mind, you choose to keep your questions to yourself. “I promise,” you murmur softly while absentmindedly reaching up to grab your necklace. Pleased with your answer, the King regards you with a nod and begins to usher you towards the awaiting royal carriage.

“It’s time to go, Your Highness,” the driver calls to you, and with Marc’s assistance, you step into the carriage carefully and settle down in your seat. While the driver and the guards prepare themselves for the departure, you continue to look out the window, unable to look away from your father.

As the carriage begins to depart through the gate on the south side of the palace, the part of The Citadel which is cleverly hidden from the common folks’ eyes, your eyes remain on the King. His Majesty remains to stand there on the side threshold of the palace, watching you closely with his unwavering gaze. As the carriage continues to drive further away from him, you almost believe that the mist which has been swirling on the ground begin to rise, growing thicker and denser until it almost makes it hard for you to see him, just as much as you are sure that the royal carriage is being concealed. Your gaze remain on your father’s shadow as you look through the back window, until the moment his sight disappears completely with the distance and the obscuring mist, and that is the last you see of him until the palace’s gate is closed behind the departing carriage.

You finally draw your eyes away from the palace once you notice the carriage slowing down on the bridge passing over the Coyne River. Beyond you appears the short drive towards the woods from the bridge, with the road disappearing between the thickets. Before the driver sets his horses off towards the forest’s borders, he opens the small window separating the front box-seat to the passenger car so he could speak with you and Nanny Abigail.

“It is the peak of the summer still, so the night will be short. We will still have some sun as we enter the forest, so you’ll get to enjoy the view for a short while before the sky gets dark. Please be aware that it will be mostly pitch-black once we are deep in the forest, but there will be no need for you to be worried. I’ve put up some lamps inside the carriage as you can see, and they will light up once the sunlight is gone so you and the governess can see just as well on the inside,” he nods his chin pointing to the side of your seats, where a couple of lamps—much similar to the regular oil lamps that you have seen uses back at the palace—are hung right by the windows.

Just as you begin to wonder how to light up the lamps when there are no sight of the oil canisters around you, the driver speaks again. “We do have some fog around us aside from the dense trees, but we should have enough moonlight, so it should be enough to help see around us better,” the driver reassuringly says, as if he can sense how anxious you feel about being in the dark.

“I can assure you that the sky will be bright once again when we are out of these woods, as I predict that we will be able to reach the home castle at the break of dawn,” he continues, before lowering his voice a little when he adds, “As long as there is no trouble coming in our way, of course.”

Not knowing what to say, you simply grow silent. Thankfully, Nanny Abigail—who is sitting right across from you and much closer to the driver’s window—takes over by saying to the driver, “Thank you kindly for the assurance, Sir. We are trusting our safety in your hands.”

The driver nods at her with a grin on his face, and then does the same to you, before closing the window shut and facing forward again to lead his horses, and the carriage steadily moves faster towards the forest’s edge.

It takes a while, but as soon as the steady sounds of the horses’s foot galloping on top of the cobblestone road fill the air, you begin to grow calmer. Before long the line of trees appear ahead of you, and your agitation soon turns into excitement.

Once the carriage drives past the borders and into the thicket, your heartbeat picks up rapidly, still in disbelief even as you are surrounded by nothing but trees. The cobblestone road that continues from the palace carries on for a while longer once you are in the woods, with lines of trees standing on either side of the road which seem like they are passing by quickly as the carriage drives past them. It doesn’t take long before the road breaks out into a path covered with gravel, and the forest begins to open up for you to see a lot more from what lies within the grove.

As you look out the window, beyond you lay endless rows of trees, with a dense layer of foliage formed by the high grass and wild bushes. Through the small openings that you can find between the trees, you get to see the sight of the green sloping land which is adorned with steep hills appearing here and there, all covered in a spread of green grass. There are small hills in the distance which are adorned with clumps of trees crowning each of their tops, and since you are still close to the edge of the forest, you can see the rare sightings of orchards and farmhouses peeking not too far away.

Everywhere you look, spread a variety of bright and soft colours that are easily drawing your attention. The beauty that comes from the colourful fresh fruits growing from the top of the evergreen and the blooming petals materialising from the shrubberies, all seem to glow under the warmth coming from the setting sun.

Soon, the darkness will fall, and these colours would no longer be available to your eyes. So you allow yourself to relish on the view and in the moment, until the carriage gets deeper into the woods, just in time for the sun to disappear completely in the horizon. As the sky finally gets darker, the mist around you seems to grow thicker and reaching higher above ground, and the bright colours which you have been admiring is slowly being replaced with dark shadows. The gloom doesn’t have a chance to enter the carriage, however, as the lamps on your side walls suddenly light up out of nowhere, and a gentle glow fills the car immediately as soon as the world outside is covered by the gloom.

Surrounded by the darkness, the silence within grows almost as thick as the dense trees outside, and that is when your mind becomes louder. Loud enough for the questions that you were forced to silence earlier to come to surface, leaving you wondering to yourself—

If The Citadel was supposed to be your home, then why do people keep referring this new place of solitude that you are heading to as the ‘home castle’?

“What is happening?”

The journey has been going on without any disturbance for a while, until you finally notice how restless the driver seems to be. With the curtains on the driver’s window left open, you can see it when his demeanour begins to change—he seems distracted by something and starts glancing and turning to his right, looking out into the distance beyond the trees, and his commands sounds more like a mixture of firm shouts and soothing words, as if he is trying to calm his horses while making them march with more haste. Then you look out through the window as two of the guards on horses separate themselves from the group, and another guard leads his horse to ride closely to the carriage so he could talk to the driver.

Moving on instinct, you jump across your seat and slide open the window just in time to hear the guard’s voice speaking through the loud noises of the horses’ rapid steps and the carriage wheels, “It’s those nosy boys from the Brotherhood of Jorn. They noticed the carriage entering into the forest and are following us close.”

You hear the driver cursing loudly before asking, “Can you do something about it?”

“We’ll drive them away from the carriage and apprehend them to find out what they’re up to. In the meantime, focus on getting Her Highness out of here. Fast!” the guard quickly says, before leading his horse towards the trees, as he joins the other guards to chase away the rebel army with a couple of more guards following him.

Once they departed, the driver looks over his shoulder, looking straight at you with a grin. “Hang on tight, Your Highness. We’re going to have to have a sharp detour right ahead if we want to stay away from the melee,” he yells out, and both you and Nanny Abigail quickly take hold onto the seats to avoid falling as the carriage swerves to the left, just as the gravel-covered road branches out into three different lanes.

The driver leads the carriage to continue a bit further before he slows down a little, taking his time to make sure that he has taken you away from where the brawl may occur. He looks back through the window, apologising for the crisis at hand before explaining, “Our journey right ahead is going to be a long and exhausting one with us using a different path to be safe. But rest assured, that even in the absence of royal guards, Her Highness’ safety is accounted for. Regardless, we may still have at least two guards with us following in the shadows.”

You take a quick glance out the window after hearing this, just in time for you to see the shadows of the guards following you from beyond the trees, their horses barely make a sound as they try to match the carriage’s speed. “I shall see it for myself to send Her Highness and the governess to the home castle safely.”

As you turn back to look and keep your eyes on the driver the whole time he is talking to you, something odd seems to be happening. For a moment, you almost believe that you are seeing his beard glowing faintly with a shade that looks almost blue, and his eyes glimmer in the shade of silver. But they all vanish as quickly as they appear, and the man appears to you as normal as he was before when he smiles at you. Since it is dark around the road, with limited moonlight falling on his face and only the small lamps illuminating inside the carriage, you chalk it all of as nothing more but a trick of the moonlight.

You don’t have any more chances to make clear what you are seeing, as once the drive is done talking to you, he pulls down the curtains and closes the glass window separating the driver’s seat to the passenger car, covering the whole front of the box-seat as if to make sure that you would no longer be disturbed by his presence or any other incident that might happen.

The next thing you hear is the sound of his whip cracking in the air, right over his horses, which soon start their steady run once again and the carriage sets off to move along the gravel road. With it, you soon lose sight of your worries and what was possibly a part of your vivid imagination as you continue to take in the scene that you are seeing through the windows as the carriage carries on its journey across the Elcester Forest.

Never before you truly realised just how far and wide the Elcester Forest was until you are deep within its territory. The journey feels endless, and even if you have let yourself be distracted by the glorious sights around you until the moment darkness fell around you, it feels even more abundantly clear how deep the territory is now once the moonlight is hidden by the tree branches reaching over the road like dark, extended canopy. You see nothing but the eerie shadows crawling between the trees and the gliding mist. Not a sign of this journey ending anytime soon.

As the evening falls deeper, the air grows colder. Very cold, as a matter of fact, that you feel it piercing through your thick coat even the windows are closed shut.

“See here, Your Highness, cover yourself with this blanket,” Nanny Abigail says as she hands you a blanket which she pulled out from the storage box beneath the seats. “Best to keep yourself warm until we arrive and catch some sleep, so when you are to see His Royal Majesty, the King father, again, you will be all healthy and well rested. Let us draw the curtains to give you some peace of mind.”

Taking the blanket in your hands, you simply spread them over your lap while you glance back out into the darkness just as Nanny Abigail starts pulling the curtains to cover most of the windows. “How much longer will this journey take us?” you wonder out loud. “I never knew just how far this forest is spread. Are we even still in Smotia?”

Nanny Abigail gives you a small smile. “My best guest is that we won’t be able to tell until we arrive at dawn, or at least once we’re out of the woods. We might get there a bit later than what the driver promised us if this road leads us through a longer path. Which is why it would be best if we rest through our trip. Have some shut eyes while we can so we can face whatever it is waiting for us on the other end with fresh minds, don’t you agree?” she continues to convince you, though you can still sense the uncertainty in her words. She might still be rattled after the previous crisis, no doubt, so you choose not to say a thing to deny her.

Nanny Abigail soon falls asleep, curling on her side with her head resting against the cushioned armrest under her side of the window. Meanwhile, sleep eludes you, leaving you wide awake even when your body is filled with exhaustion. Still, your mind is loud, still too restless to allow sleep to come and your senses are too high alert for you to relax. In the quietness that falls in the carriage, you can hear nothing but the sound of the soft breathing from Nanny Abigail, the steady pace from the racing horses and the occasional sharp commands coming from the driver. The sounds should have been enough to distract you from your anxiousness, to help your mind to feel at ease, and when they fail to calm you down, you choose to distract yourself with your other surroundings instead.

After dimming the lamps a little, you pull open the curtain to your side just a little bit to allow you to have a peek of the forest and the one at the front window to be able to see what the driver is seeing. You notice that there are some changes happening with the trees outside, just as there are more bumps on the road and some odd stillness in the air. You may have gotten even deeper into the forest, yet the trees no longer seem as dense as they were, even though they look even more eerie and intimidating with their presence in the gloom. With no more branches reaching over the road, you now had enough opening above to allow you to look up at the sky, and for the moonlight to illuminate through.

You marvel at how the twilight seems to merge into the dark void formed between the gloom of trees and thickets, which would oftentimes swallow the carriage as it drives through the valleys running deep between the spurs of the hills. The mist have grown high enough that you can see it from the window, and it seems as if the fog keeps coming apart around the wheels and crawling closer to engulf the carriage as it drives past.

Captivated by the sights you are seeing, your hand instinctively reach up to take hold of your necklace, seeking comfort from its presence.

With the tip of your fingers, you trace along the sides of the pendant—a ruby stone shaped as a heart, with a golden frame holding it together, and gold embellishments made in the shape of a smaller heart placed right at the center of the ruby and little curls that almost appear like ancient scriptures circling around the stone and its surrounding frame. You had questioned the meaning of the prettily made twirls to your father once, yet he simply told you that they were nothing but a simple artwork that your mother had designed herself, and she had been wearing the necklace ever since the night of her debutante ball where they first met.

But just like your father, King Aneas, you have been keeping secrets of your own, and one of them has everything to do with the necklace that he had made you swore to never take off wherever you would go.

For a long time, since the day you received the necklace, you had always admired and loved the beautiful craftwork even as a child. One day, not too long after your twelfth birthday, you had accidentally dropped the necklace while you were playing alone in your bedchamber, accidentally breaking the golden frame holding the stone at its center.

You remember being so hurt by it, knowing how important the necklace was for both your father and your late mother. But most of all, you were terrified of your father’s wrath if he should find out what had happened. So you locked yourself in your room that night, and tried your best to fix it before you would have to wear it again in the morning, only to find that the necklace held a secret of its own.

The framed ruby stone was a disguised locket, with pictures of your mother hidden inside. On one side, was the image of the young Queen, your mother as a Princess who was no older than you are now today, posing in a lovely dress with a small tiara placed over her head. Just like the one you wore during your debutante ball. On the other side was the image of the Queen once she was just a bit older. In her arms was a small baby who you recognised as yourself from the pictures that you found in your bedchamber.

You had never told anyone about what you found that night, afraid that your father would take it away if he should find out, just like how he had taken down all the pictures and paintings of your mother from the palace—except for the one he kept in his chamber. You have never truly known the reason why he would do this, so you had kept this necklace close, cherishing it privately as it becomes the only thing that you have left that carries the memory of your mother. That was the true reason why you had been so willing to follow His Majesty’s command to wear it at all times, because it has made you feel closer to your mother while wearing it around your neck, and its presence gives you warmth and comfort whenever you would need it.

Just like always, you feel a deep longing of your mother’s presence each time you think about her, so you shake away your thoughts before you start getting too emotional and distract yourself by looking out the window again.

Outside, the night continues to grow deeper, while the carriage travels far deeper into the Elcester Forest where the trees are shaped oddly and menacingly than they normally would, and you start noticing how the driver has been making haste. You cannot understand the reason for the sudden urgency as you are unable to see things too clearly in the dark aside from the stars above. And so, at first, you simply reckon that the darkness itself is the reason for the rising speed, assuming that the driver simply wants to get out of the forest quickly as you are lacking guards keeping you secure.

That is, until the moment you begin to see it.

For a while longer, you see nothing but the deep dark forest, with the shadows of the trees flashing by at the windows. All the wonderful colours which you had seen by dusk have long disappeared along with the sun, which perhaps becomes the reason why your eyes are quick to find the new colours coming out of the darkness.

It begins with a faint flickering blue flame emerging through the thicket, a distance away from the road and out of reach from the advancing carriage. At first, you take it in assumption that your eyes are deceiving you. That after straining your eyes to look out into the dark forest, you are beginning to imagine seeing lights and colours appearing against the gloom. You also wonder if you might be dreaming. That sleep has finally come and you have lost the ability to tell the difference between reality and fantasy.

But soon you can tell that the driver is seeing this at the same time when you can hear the excitement showing in his command as he controls the horses, swerving to start heading towards the source of light. And only then do you finally realise that this is not simply a figment of your imagination, knowing it would be impossible for the driver to know what might be inside your mind.

From one small flame, another appears on the other side of the road, both flickering from a fair distance from one to the other, then more of it begins to emerge, alternating between the left and right side of the road. You have no idea what to do, or think, as the carriage carries on driving between them while the flames continue to emerge here and there. You wonder if this has anything to do with the Lemmus Rising, and if these blue flames are what the townsfolk has believed to be the souls of the elders, especially when you can see the mist moving as if they are avoiding the flames, crawling away from where they seem to be emerging from.

Surprisingly so, instead of driving out of the road and away from the shady phenomenon, the driver continues leading the carriage to continue the journey by following and turning rapidly towards where the blue flames are rising as if he is using them as a guide to know just where to go.

The flames continue to emerge more frequently from then on, slowly forming two lines of blue flames on either side of the road and appearing as if they are getting closer and closer while the carriage continues to pick up its speed. Their presence make it seem like the path is growing a bit brighter, yet despite the close proximity, you feel no warmth nor heat inside the carriage. The cold remains strong, and so is the fog that has somehow risen around you, the thick fog dispersing around you as the carriage drives past before gathering back together over the tracks.

This pattern continues for a moment longer, then what happens next seems to you like a strange optical effect taunting your exhausted mind. The flames suddenly seem to be dancing as the carriage drives past them, while the air ripples around you in a steady current that you almost think of it as being in water instead of a rapidly pacing carriage going through the woods.

A shout comes from the driver while you are wondering about what might be happening. His unsteady voice startles you, but it does little to worry you when the excitement seems to remain in his voice. You look to the front to see what the driver is seeing, and your jaw nearly drops when something seems to emerge right beyond your eyes.

Right in the middle of the road ahead, the pair of lines of blue flames unite and form a tall pillar. A massive, roaring blue inferno rises from the ground, as if cutting the end of your journey with its threatening blaze. Once again, the driver’s actions startles you. When seeing this, instead of avoiding it and coming to a halt, the carriage speeds up, as if the driver has every intention of driving the whole carriage and its passengers right into the heart of the burning inferno.

And that is exactly what he does.

Before you can react, the driver sends the horses diving straight forward, carrying everything and everyone along with them into the roaring blue pillar of flame.

On the other side of the forest, Yoongi is awakened by a ripple of strong aura that seems to be passing through the air. He wakes up completely alert but cautious, as he tries to identify the source of this queer force and find out where it is coming from. Just as he pulls out his amulet necklace to help him as a guide, Ansen barges into his tent, his unkempt hair showing that the poor man has rushed his way here after the magic force had awakened him at the same time it did with Yoongi.

“Your Highness!” Ansen nearly shouts at his Prince with a strained voice. “Did you feel it too?”

“Yes, I did,” Yoongi says, still feeling obviously astounded as he raises his amulet to see that the black crystal is glowing as it also senses the powerful force reverberating through the air. Yoongi’s brows are furrowed when he realises that the glow appears to be in a shade of iridescent blue, something that seems impossible to happen, not in this realm, but it does help him recognise what kind of magic this one would be. “It’s an ancient magic, an old spell. Seems like someone has gone across the realm.”

“But—how? How was it possible?”

Before Yoongi can answer him, Yijeong slips into the tent just then and answers for him. “It feels like a portal to me. Whoever it was, they made it across by going through it.” He falls silent, while Ansen seems to be lost in deep thought, until Yijeong openly questions his Prince, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Your Highness?”

Wearing the amulet around his neck, Yoongi slowly nods. “Yes, there’s only one person who can use such a powerful mana to create a portal and send someone away even without him having to be present.” He looks up to his companions with a grim look on his face. “This is his magic. It’s been his magic that we’ve felt all along.”

There is no need for Yoongi to explain further, as he and his men had been dealing with these old spells for some time now without understanding how it would be possible for such magic to exist in the territory of Smotia. Now that the source of magic has finally shown its true self, they finally have the answers that they needed.

“He really was here the whole time,” Yoongi says, voicing out exactly what the others are thinking. “And I think he knows that we were on to him.”

Once again, the blue glow shimmers brightly from his black crystal, as if agreeing with him as Yoongi mentions the one name that he hasn’t been able to say out loud for a long time.

“It’s Bluebeard.”

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away-ward · 5 months

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hey, thanks for the mbti discussions KO! It was fun talking to you about it. This might the last one from me about damon and kai though, because i cant lie, they really never interest me that much before, so for me to even put two and two together about their characters this week already got me feeling ☠️🙂‍↕️😵‍💫 however, unlike kai, it's kinda obvious in the way that i was pulling for straws to understand damon's arc, because ngl, even thinking about him then writing his name in the same discussion post with emmy made me feel nauseous, lmfao! (If you cant already tell, i really hate his character so much!!! 😭🤣)

But i agree with you in that i believe damon's characterisation suffered from PD wanting to do the most most mostest everything for him. Like Rika. Yeah no wonder idgaf about them. I hate it when authors just can't write characters with flaws and try to make characters be so complicated, only for us to watch them fail to do that by the end of the series. Like what was the point of all that toomfooleries? Damon and Rika look like clowns! I laughed when they said they wanted to build the world because they got no skills to execute that. Just because you got ideas doesn't mean you have the skills or talent to make them a reality. That's what Damon and Rika's characters felt like to me.

PD could just give their stories one or two trajectories and stick with that, but nooooo they just HAD to be and be in everything 🙄 At this point i'm trying to see the good in Damon's character or see any valid points to make him likeable TO ME but he always failed, because i feel like he was never gonna be enough, again FOR ME. Like Damon's character doesn't feel like he deserves all that happiness by the end of the series. His risk was not worth the pay, unlike Emory. I like villains, i like anti-heroes, but not the Wallmart versions like Damon Torrance. For example, i LOVE LOVE LOVEEEE Victor and Eli from Vicious. V.E. Schwab gave them clear trajectories and they never had to be everything or anyone else, never had to act like they're good or suddenly be everything like Damon was.

That's why Vicious' villain arcs are super interesting. Rin from the Poppy War by R.F Kuang had a really interesting hero-anti-hero-villain arc too, and she actually scare me sometimes with her craziness, hence why i really like her character. Pippa from a Good Girl's Guide to Murder had similar arc, and by the end of the trilogy made me feel like "damn, this is what dark romance could look like if authors have good writing, good plot, would want to deal with morally grey characters who have good reasons to be one, characterisation doesnt seem to come out of their asses but logical to the surroundings, wants and the nature of the MCs, and actually understand how romance can work even when there's no sex in their books, AT ALL". Dark romance today's just full of shocking sex/harems/orgies, absurd ass plot and "dark, broody, tall" characters. I truly believe that PD's bias towards Damon was what cheapened his arc and his potential.

Ugh sometimes i wish i am a damon torrance lover (or even bystander) so that i can relate to the majority of this fandom, but i can't choose who i like, and i definitely do not like him or his characterisation at all. Noo bcausee it's the way you counter my observation of him and even after some thinking, i really don't have any resoonse to that, because idgaf enough about him to think deeper, hahahahaha! Omg i realised today that i can be really bias with characters i hate, heh. Anywaym idk. I wish his fans, or rika and winter's fans are active on tumblr making discussion posts, because at least then maybe i can understand more of their fav characters?

Idk. These three, along with Michael are the shallowest characters in the series, and maybe that's why i don't like them? i would rather read about Micah and Rory's story than reread their books, tbh. Idk, their motives always felt so surfaced-level no matter how many times PD liked to write their conversations as "meaningful". I remember One ironic moment in Kill Switch when Damon was upset at Winter for having "a shallow heart" for not trusting him and i was like 😭🤣🤣🤣 broooooo, talking about a pot calling a kettle black. Like why was he looking down on Winter right now? She was the 16 year old blind girl who had to deal with the mess you started, not you! You deserved that jail time, not only for lying but for all the petty crimes in the phone too! OMFG! Like why do yall think yall soulmates for life? You both are dumb, AND SHALLOW! To a certain extend, You gotta attract what you are, and what you like most.

And Damon liked her enough that her shallowness didn't matter before, so why now? Winter too with Damon, she never expected him to be smart or good or with depth. She didn't even give a fuck if he was someone she didnt know when she was horny af. Like girl youre blind? And you dont have any allies at home or in town, why are you being YOUR best ally then? She literally just kept on believing lies left and right because she want to escape her life. Other than Damon, Dancing was the only thing that made her feel alive. So why was she even surprised taht he was sketch as hell? Winter is so fucking dumb! Like what? Not even until the end of KS had she ever acknowledged her own stupidity and fault in the trajectory of her own story. And I was again baffled when Damon was confused with Winter's arc, because when was she described as having depth? Even by him? Just pure and beautiful, untouched by anything ugly, the one who told him to use pain one at a time. Her character only exist to be a muse for Damon 🤣😭 and clearly winter never gaf enough about fucking her own sister's husband but why was she going around acting holier than thou all the time, and even in private, slut shaming girls left and right for fucking anyone? And not her shaming arion for her adventurous sex but continue to fuck damon and will at the ssame time? Winter's such a fucking dumb hypocrite.

and She sounds just like damon, only a very less ugly version of him! Like not damon slut shaming everyone and looking down on arion, when he was just as bad, if not worse than the girls he looked down on, but nobody called him a whore ass low life? Sometimes i wished in nightfall that emmy called him a slut and a motherfucker to see how he reacts because for all the hurtful things and pain he caused and said to his friends (especially the horsemen) and innocent people in this series, him betraying michael and working with his brother for no fucking reason than his stupid jealousy, i believe Damon's happy ending is not well-earned enough for me. I literally want someone to drown him in the sea like what he did to kai, will and rika, cause him all this turmoil and backstabbing like what he did to banks and michael, and torture and shame him in a chamber like what he did to rika and winter. When winter was angry at damon and spouting shit at him in KS, I was cheering for her, wishing she said more, because if that was me, i wouldve done and said worse.

Because TO ME, Damon really didn't deserve anything good in his life, not his sisters, not his wife, his bffs, his future. Shoudl've just died in a ditch somehwere. One thing that Damon and I are similar in that we both knew this was true. It's hard now for anyone to convince me that he does deserve them. Oh and also that scene in conclave with him and misha? What the fuck, misha didn't even do anything to him. Fuck Damon honestly. Suddenly be obsessed with rika? And for what? Ugh cringe as fuck! I can't believe winter wasn't suspicious of him having borderline polyamorous relationship with everyone, especially rika and will. (But winter has to only be close to him? 🙄) The high pain and disrespect from him to everyone, and him keep acting dumb and going around saying shit like "if theres anybody who knew how low life and hell life could be it was us" in KS, was not worth anything that he can offer them. But then i'm not them, and they're not me, clearly michael see enough value in him to want him on his team. Even emmy would pick him before the readers, so that's why i still don't see any reason to go so hard defending emmy. No characters in this series were ever painted as a righteous character, i don't trust any of them irl.

No matter how angry DamonWinter fans can be angry at me for this, this is just one point they can't deny. Winter is the most useless character in the series. Like how is her kid gone in fire night but we see more of other chars being distressed than herself? I can't with PD sometimes 😂 like at least they could try to not make it THAT obvious that they didn't care much about Winter's character. And just like how Damon only attracts what he is, it's also similar to how authors only know to write what they know, hence why not all "smart characters" are "smart", because some authors are just not smart enough to think of a plan for characters to show how their characters are capable of being smart without them shoving this shit in your face in their text explicitly all the time. Like how PD wanted to make Damon, Rika and Alex's characters capable of everything, but failed because when you lay them down with logic and timelines, they don't match up ☠️ like? Well, at least rika herself was aware of her flaws. But not PD, ofc. Like WTF? And just when we're about to see the real Alex, where her character has flaws too and not just strengths, PD glosses over them again when it's inconvenient for them to explain. PD really sucks at writing details and timelines, no matter how much they said they're a big planner. A big planner doesnt make a good planner.

idk how my initial MBTI discussion has become a Damon hate rant post but ugh i finally let out my unsatisfaction of how his character was written into the world. I too, love to read about villains, i too want to love an anti-hero, i too want to read soft characters like winter, but not when they're shallow as fuck, and until the end of fire night they did not change at all. Or even when they change, it's minimal. One thing that i agree with some of readswshelby's (from tiktok and youtube) take about about willemmy's story (unlike the rest of the couples) is for what it's worth with their shitty plot, you can see that from the start of the series and the start of the book to the end of the series and the end of the book, their characterisation and story changes from a to b. What does that mean? It means they have progressed, they have changed, and they have put work on themselves to change for the better. We dont always got to see them because PD didnt gaf enough to write about Willemmy more, but we knew willemmy had progressed. Which also leades to a differnt kind lf discussion.

Emmy started nightfall believing she cannot have the things she wants most and will started night with plans because he felt loss and alone but both still have understandble fears in building back their relationship and connecting with each other and with others around them, because they were nit ready and were always seen to be holding on to the past, but then one step forward, they decided how their story is gonna be like, and they ended nightfall with some of the most impactful closing scenes and lines from this series as a couple and individual, that summed up their past doubts and worries

"my life finally starts" because finally will executed what he wants by being beside emmy, even to bring down the gate to get to where she was, killing martin with his own hands, and was always seen running towards emmy despite what damon, aydin and alex kept on doing to him and his woman, he was fully ready now. Even to be a father and get back to academia. He was even ready to be there for his friends and family as compared to how he was scene in that hideaway extra. Just because emmy was there, will was tured of his past, and they wanted and will work forward together for their future. (Only damonwinter came close to this, but not the two other couples)

"i have everything i want, education, brothers, family, husband that i love, would love and fight for me", because emmy finally fought for the one thing she wanted the most, will, and she also had all the other things she wanted and need and are proud of like education, career, family, loving brothers etc., and she was finally ready to go on adventure with them now, and nothing else matters anymore, and not only this was true in nightfall, her character was also seen reassuring will's doubt in fire night about their life and their world, and her being part of the crew that handles the police report, then btpeating up ilya etc., solidifies not only willemmy's relationship in this series, but also her place in their family. We truly know now that even if we dont get bonuses of them, WillEmmy is thriving and nobody can touch that. Interesting how back then how at point a she was the one who kept on running around, and now, heakthier, at point b, she was the cornerstone that her husband, nephews, nieces, family and friends can rely only. This was what growth was supposed to look like in romance, which leads to the next point.

"we're free, nobody can stop us", and this is the truest thing ever because in the early stage of her fighting for Will, emmy finally initiated/ responds to the fight with anyone that tries to come in between her and will, be it her brother, aydin, alex, dmaon, michael and kai. Even her thought in the bridal room towards will's girl family members sounds provokinb of some sort, like how she was surprised they didnt say anything, which even if they did, she would definitely put them down for it. And then we see her in all the scenes after until FN, where her thoughts, beliefs and words match up with actions because not a single time she wasn't there for what she promised. Again, begins with point A and ends with point B. Her caharcter, and will had the most progress because they put in the work. (there were many more, but i dont feel like including them, but if you have anything to add KO, please do)

and this is why i think willemmy felt like the most balanced and full fleshed out characters. Because they have a worry of their own, and they have worres togetehr, but from point A where they couldn't sove it in the beginning, progress was done actively/passively then we got to point B the ending. idk if DN readers realised this, but this maybe why PD got so much criticisms for their MichaelRikaBanksKai content, because not only they fucked up with KaiBanks, they promise us now that they have no HEA for these two couples. And HEA is what the romance genre is mainly known for, especially by seasoned readers and writers. Writers, editors, readers, and even the industry knew that this is one of the biggest promise that consumers will get when they consume the romance genre. That's why readers got angry when couples dont have chemistry, or no promisin HEA. They felt cheated. Many famous authors have discussed this, and and many romance readers agreed to this rule, hence why the romance subreddit too, have a rule of "have to be HEA, if not, it's not romance" or redit users can put on a disclaimer on their book posts if they want to suggest non-HEA books.

You can look up to what make the romance genre a genre online, and also see all the many romance subreddit post about what makes romance a Romance to them. And this is what PD failed to deliver. But then i only found out later that PD actually labelled Corrupt as Dark Erotica (not Dark Romance) and PD had been known to not like to be boxed in strict labels, so maybe this was where one of the readers' misunderstanding, unsatisfaction and confusion of not getting enough romance in this series could come from? Idk, once i change my mindset of DN to dark erotica, i didn't feel like i was lied to as much, because erotica is very different from romance, and i dont have the same expectation of a romance book to an erotica. Erotica will have sex that progresses the story as compared to romance where the romantic tension was what build of the relationship. Maybe that's why DN felt out of place because it wasn't marketed right?

But i feel like THAT's also why labelling is so important in marketing and advertising especially for the romance genre, because the romance genre is so big, and it could literally change readers' opinions and understanding of the books they're reading, but PD is PD and their confusing vagueness was what started all of this 🙄 idk, but i feel like they're a messy person as in, they like to cause mess bu don't know how to clean that up, but then putting something in a box later felt too real and felt like they have to confront with what's expected from the box and the consequences of it, so the easiest way is for them to cop out and abandon that all, and just write what they want and leave the rest to everyone but PD themselves. Idk, but i think i associate PD's personality as being irresponsible and messy now, because clearly they cared enough about what readers thought of their works to the point the took a break from DN, but not enough to change i guess? No matter how i see it, i just cannot look past how they handle this. Like at all. And it's something to keep in mind when i come across other authors and how they respond to readers and their crafts.

wow, this was a long ass post KO. Hopefully you dont find them burdensome 😅 thanking you for taking your time to reading this and responding

This might the last one from me about damon and kai though

Heyy! Don't worry about it. I don’t think I have much new to say anyway.

Regarding your feelings on Damon, though, that’s totally understandable. Like everything in Corrupt, there was such good potential in him, but I think the more we shed light on him and the less mystery, the less interesting he becomes. That’s true about a lot of things though. Unfortunantely, I think it would even be true of Micah and Rory. You know PD would never just let them be a cute domestic couple forever if they were to expand on their story. The more you get to know about them, the less interesting they might become. Or worse, you might even come to be unsatisfied with them to the point where you hate it. Best to leave things be.

Some of the things you said got me thinking, and I’ve never mentioned this before because I kind of thought everyone thought the same way – like it was written in the subtext of the series, but maybe it wasn’t the same for everyone.

All of the characters are supposed to be soulmates, right? Platonic and otherwise.

Like, the way the story is written, they hear a unique call that nobody else hears and that’s why they are drawn together. They’re unable to resist the call, and the more they try to deny it, the more restless they become. When they finally admit that these are their people and this is who they’re supposed to be, they feel a sense of contentment and belonging. For Damon, it’s the basis of his obsession. These are his people, and they have to feel it, too. There’s no way they can’t feel it. It doesn’t matter what Winter is or isn’t; she’s meant to be his and for no rhyme or reasons, he’s not going to let her go. It doesn’t matter that he doesn’t get along with Kai most days. They’re drawn together because of this intangible thing and nothing can touch it or kill it. It's the same for all of them. Unlike Misha, who didn’t hear the call, and whom Damon eventually tolerates for Rika and Will’s sake. I just wish that it was touched on more from other character’s perspectives. I mean, I could be making this all up, but that was the impression I got.

For me, I think PD struggles the most with when to be over the top and when to bring it back down. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy they have fun with their ideas and fully lean into them, but it’s a skill to know when to pull back. Like the example you mentioned, Damon’s comment about ruling the world. Because, like, why? What would he want to rule the world for? And how are they going to convince themselves they’re not criminals when they’re trying to “rule” the world? Whereas, it would have had a more significant impact if he said something like, “we’re going to run this city, Rika.” Even though the Thunder Bay is much smaller than the world, it really shows how they’re going to carve out a corner for themselves, take control, and be a real threat to anything that tries to cross into their territory. And while I know Damon was probably speaking figuratively, it’s just such a weird way to say it.

I don’t expect a realistic plot from content like this. I expect over the top nonsense from start to finish. But there’s a balance to it. And when things are imbalanced, we get a laughable, cliché mess of a story. Which is why even some dark romance (or erotica, if that’s what it’s better termed as in this case) are still better written than DN, even though the intent behind them was the same. Character arcs, too, seem to be a mixture of darts thrown at a spinning table and “ohh won’t this be fun?” Which can be fine for a first draft but really should be refined before release. The narrow window between KS and NF, and possibly listening too much to fans and not enough to their own creative instincts, are two things I think really impacted how poorly some of these things came across.

I doubt I’ll ever understand the extent DamonWinter love, or even the Winter love. And I also wish there were Rika and Winter blogs, because I’d love some good analysis and insight on them. I’m so open to other people’s opinions, even if I don’t agree, and I know that there are others in this fandom that are, too. I also know how hard it can be to take things that you think and feel, and put them into sentences that make sense! But I’d love some explanation on Winter from a fan that’s as completely obsessed as I am with Emory. It doesn’t have to be good, it doesn’t have to be well written, it doesn’t even have to be in line with what I think; I’m open to changing. But just something thoughtful.

And just when we're about to see the real Alex, where her character has flaws too and not just strengths, PD glosses over them again when it's inconvenient for them to explain.

Yes! I was telling a friend that hasn’t read DN that part of the problem with Alex is that the other characters are never allowed to be mad at her. Friends sometimes cause problems, they offend, things go off track. Alex is a controversial character, not because she’s an escort, but because she doesn’t care about opinions. But not caring about opinions and always doing exactly what you want often times causes problems, especially with people you’re close to. PD is really trying to tell us that for five years, Alex has never done anything that didn’t sit right with any one of these incredibly different characters? Michael and Kai fight over how to handle Rika every two seconds, but nobody cares that Alex is trying to distract the security guards from their duties, because she’s just so cute? Alex roofies Michael and potentially jeopardizes the entire rescue mission, but as long as she’s safe it’s all okay? She leaves Emory open and exposed to violent predators and a man who by all visible signs hates her, but Emory can’t be mad because it’s Alex.

All of these things would be interesting and great characterization, a good way to look into the dynamics of the group, if the other characters were allowed to deal with it, but I can’t think of a single time a character has chastised her other than Banks on one or two occasions. They can be mad at her and still be her friend; it’s not one or the other. It would even be interesting to see how Alex uses her ability to manipulate on a character like Michael or Kai when she’s done something that upsets them – but they’re never that upset with her. It’s weird and annoying.

As for your Willemmy analysis, I see everything you’re getting at. I think willemmy’s characters and storyline make more sense than Damonwinter and is packs a more emotional punch that Michaelrika. And Will annoys me less than Kai (sorry KaiBanks fans).

idk if DN readers realised this, but this maybe why PD got so much criticisms for their MichaelRikaBanksKai content, because not only they fucked up with KaiBanks, they promise us now that they have no HEA for these two couples.

I think most readers probably know what their issue is. I wonder if PD realizes that’s why there was an uproar. See, if a fan wrote something like that, other fans who are into those scenarios probably would have gobbled it up. But having it come from the creator, making it canon, ruins the impression that other fans who don’t want that have. Even if PD had just said “Yeah, sometimes I think about the four of them together.” That would be different than an entire scene where it becomes “official”. As a fan, they have the right to think of DN however they want, but as the creator, their words carry power and authority. I remember when that scene came out, they were thinking that people didn’t like Rika and Banks, but that honestly wasn’t the issue. I’m not a Rika fan, but I would have read a boring scene just to see what’s going on with her.

PD had been known to not like to be boxed in strict labels, so maybe this was where one of the readers' misunderstanding, unsatisfaction and confusion of not getting enough romance in this series could come from?

Yeah, I would say DN fits a little better when I don’t think of it as a romance, but as a story with a romantic storyline

but PD is PD and their confusing vagueness was what started all of this

The way you’re saying this makes PD sound like one of those ao3 writers that’s like “no tags, just read” like the tags aren’t there to be spoilers; they’re there for a reason. But I don’t know if PD was intentionally being vague because they didn’t want to give anything away or just thought the “dark romance” would be enough to cover the content. Maybe like you said, there was a misunderstanding on what makes it a romance, and of course, they wanted to be seen, and it has a romance storyline, so it’s not lying to put it in romance…

The confusion is unfortunate, but I wouldn’t rake anyone over the coals for it.

Hopefully you dont find them burdensome

I don’t find them burdensome at all! It just sometimes takes me a while to get to them. I mostly always respond on a desktop, because reading the longer ones on mobile is hard. That’s why it takes me so long to respond. Thanks for your patience though! And for sending in your thoughts. I enjoy the discussions.

#asked and answered #devil's night series #series discussion #asked and answered 294 #no alex tag #damon torrance

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