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neshabeingchildish · 5 years ago

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Road to Dystopia Pt. 3

@sunbeameyes @kiddangers @bitchmilsky @adorkable-blackgirl @chenoahchantel @daintyurbanprincess @ciara-knightly @famousflowermagazine @imma-sensitive-btch @junknstu1f @grymrayven @supercasperprincesslove-blog

The author’s notes were cute the first time. Idk if I can recreate it. Smh. Accidentally deleted the first time. I know that I wanted to thank everyone who read, those who reviewed and those who enjoyed this fic. I’m sorry to anybody to didn’t enjoy, or anybody mad that this is the end, because you enjoyed it that much. And now the conclusion.

Goodbye Swellview

Ray was exhausted, but knew that he needed to address the public and also work on damage control for the incidents that Drex created and there no longer was a line to the Man Cave for the concerned citizens. He had to let them know that the system would return soon, that all of the known criminals were locked away, that jobs would be created in order to fix all of the various damages all over the city, from the majestic mountain of Mount Swellview, to the lowly old junk store, caught up in the wake of destruction. He had to assure the parents of at least four missing children that their children were probably going on Goonies-like adventures to try to search for Kid Danger and would each be returned home as soon as they were found… He had a lot of responsibilities to handle that the Kid would’ve smoothed over. So, he would do it for him.

Getting Henry into the new space and immediately tending to his medical needs, Charlotte and Schwoz worked to make sure that he was stable, giving the others instructions whenever they needed, until he was settled. Once he was hooked up to an IV and resting, Charlotte addressed all of his other injuries as he slept, and Schwoz and Piper went to retrieve the helicopter. Jasper wondered, “Is there anything that I can help with?”

“You can keep me company, if you want.”

He smiled, “Just try and get rid of me.” She smiled and continued. Henry had gotten pretty beaten up by Drex before the crash, because she knew that none of these injuries were likely related to that. Those would have been more serious, but these were pretty ugly, still. “Honestly, I may eff around and just blow off Harberd for a minute to roam Dystopia with you,” he said nonchalantly, but when she looked up at him, he seemed completely serious and pretty expectant.

“Well, a lot of people cancelled their flights after Drex attacked Swellview, so I’ll bet there’s an empty seat on mine, if you’re serious.”

He clenched his fists in excitement and wondered, “You’d really take me with you?”

She looked at him like she immediately regretted it, but he could tell that she was purposefully making that face. There was a little smile in her eyes as she furrowed her eyebrows at him. “I can’t believe that we all have superpowers,” Jasper said. Now, her facial expression was genuinely judgmental. “Don’t look at me like that! You said it yourself that I’m a superhero.”

“I said hero,” she corrected.

“Exactly, and now I’ve joined the ranks of the supers, along with Henry and Ray… and I guess you too, with your… roboticizing brain chip, but turning into a robot isn’t really the same thing as having a superpower.”

“I didn’t turn into a robot. The nanotechnology just goes through my body to where it’s needed to make the chip work properly with my brain. The chip isn’t even in my brain, it’s just in my head, and the technology can travel through my blood stream because there is organic material in the…” She saw from his face that he had no idea what she was talking about, so she concluded, “I’m not a robot. I’m still Charlotte, just… like a Super Charlotte.”

“Super Charlotte,” he repeated. She nodded. “But, not a robot.” She nodded. “Can you control other machines?”

“I can… communicate with other technology. Not so much control as to kind of get in tune with them, maybe jump on their network and sometimes hack effortlessly. I’ve still got a lot of testing out to do with this thing.”

“I don’t understand why you don’t just take it out, now. We’ve found Henry. That’s what you told me that you put it in for.” She didn’t respond to that and when she glanced at him she realized that he was waiting for a response. She still didn’t. He continued, “It’s just dangerous and it’s scary.”

“It’ll be really helpful when I get to Dystopia. It’ll be like a computer that nobody can steal from me on the train! You know that I got one of those robot hand gloves for protection? You can like attach it to the sleeve of your coat and it makes for someone stealing out of your hand very difficult. I was gonna wear it AND latch my computer to it while traveling. This is way safer!”

“For your computer, I guess,” he mumbled. She sighed. In too loud of a voice, he asked, “Well, what about that super strength, then? If you aren’t a robot now?”

Henry’s eyes blinked and she gave Jasper a look. They waited a moment, then she quietly said, “Some years ago, before you were on the team, I was kidnapped and altered to exterminate Ray and Henry.”

“I’ve heard this story. They turned you into a little, tiny Terminator, with a rap song.”

“Right. Well, Schwoz changed the signal and undid the mind control, but apparently there was still some kind of mechanism in me that could still be that way and the cyberchip was able to tap into it because the nanotechnology goes through my bloodstream. Simple explanation.” He opened his mouth and she said, “Still not a robot.”

“But robot enough,” he said.

She rolled her eyes and touched Henry’s hand, “All set.” Charlotte began to go put away the medical supplies and Jasper kept an eye on her. “This new lair is horribly positioned. It’s out in the open, like… everybody who passes by will be able to see it…”

“That’s a power move!” Jasper said. “It’s like, Yeah, I’m Captain Man and this is where I be. And what you gonna do about it?”

She sighed and said, “Captain Man didn’t make the move, but I guess. Of course, that’s awful risky for those of us who are NOT Captain Man. At least with the Man Cave, it was… hidden.”

Jasper shrugged his shoulders, “Is your assignment in Dystopia gonna be hidden?” It was a fair point. She shook her head, then he looked worried. “What exactly is your charity work? I forgot to ask.”

“Well, I actually told you a few times, but I guess it wasn’t that important to you,” she said, semi playfully. It was really frustrating to have to repeat stuff to her friends because they didn’t care enough about her life to retain anything.

“One more time, please, and I promise it won’t happen again,” Jasper said.

She nodded. He’d been pretty attentive all day, so she believed that promise from him. “In Dystopia, there are a lot of oppressive laws. The charity that I’m going to be working with is one that moves to try to educate little girls, in order to help them to not have to be child brides, or be obtained for human trafficking by Dystopia’s crime lords. There is a base of operations, which is kind of like a camp, and there is a settlement nearby - it has a shelter for some of the girls that they don’t necessarily have the resources to teach, but still have had to rescue from one of the terrible fates that happen to little girls there.”

“It is complete and utter bullshit that I didn’t remember you telling me this!” Jasper said, disgusted with himself.

“Yeah,” she agreed.

“Well… I mean… I’m not good at teaching, so is there other stuff I can do? Like… I don’t know… punch somebody if they try to steal our girls and sell them?”

“Yes, you can do that… OR… You know, you’ve got that fancy camera that I bought you for Christmas last year… You could document some of the conditions to share with the world.” She felt pretty bad for sicking a swarm of moths on him, so she made sure that she got him a really good gift. It killed her guilt whenever he opened it up.

“See? You are really great with ideas!” Jasper cheered. “Man, I’m gonna definitely start listening to you again.”

She was going to ask him when did he ever listen to her, but someone cut into their conversation with, “And what the heck am I gonna do in Dystopia?” Charlotte and Jasper both gasped and rushed to give Henry a triple hug. They both spoke at the same time about how they thought he was dead and they couldn’t believe he was alive, they were so glad, etc. He smiled in their arms and they all stayed there for a long time, eventually quieting down and just… resting, for the first time in the past few days, really.

After they were able to finally let go, Henry noted that Jasper and Charlotte were holding hands. He was just about to ask what was up with that, but each of them took one of his free hands and they sort of… were just chilling, just like that. “Are we friends that hold hands, now?” Henry asked, laughing a little.

“SUPER friends that hold hands!” Jasper corrected him. “We’ve got superpowers! I can fight and speak Spanish, ‘That’s not a-’(Henry tried, but Jasper kept going), Charlotte turns into a robot, ‘Not a robot…’ (She also attempted), and YOU HAVE A FORCEFIELD!”

Henry nodded, “Yeah, I DO have a forcefield… Wait, Charlotte, you turned into a robot? How long was I trapped in that crash site?”

“I am not a robot,” she said. They were quiet for a little bit longer and then she wondered, “Do… do you really wanna come with us to Dystopia?”

“Like he has a choice!” Jasper said.

“He does. He has plenty of choices. He could go to Neighborville as their hero. He could stay in Swellview with Ray and help him with the fallout of what happened. He could resign from hero life, hide his power and finish his high school education…” She listed.

Henry nodded at all of those unsavory ideas. Well, they were okay, but… they would include him being too far away from his two best friends, who he didn’t even want to leave before he had a severely traumatic near death experience. “Yeah… But… What could I do in Dystopia?” He asked her. He and Jasper looked at her attentively, actually waiting for her advice.

“You… could… work on your GED online, or even probably sit in on some higher level classes at the charity base, work in the community garden, maybe even do security for the shelter… You could… be a hero there. Rebrand yourself and become a new hero and a new kind of hope for Dystopia…”

“Can… I do all of that, or I gotta choose one? Because the community garden sounds awesome, but I feel like with a superpower, I should probably say that last one, or at least security…”

“You can do whatever you want, Henry. You’ll have backup,” she said and she and Jasper smiled at each other and then at him.

“I want to take a shower. I am super musty.” They all acknowledged the same. Nobody had washed up. But, also… Nobody knew where a shower might be in this place, either.

After they found it, Charlotte told them that they could go first, she was going to try to get them something to change into. She’d seen the gumball maker and she knew how to work it. Hell, she knew how to make an Omega weapon.. She looked up and Jasper was in the doorway while Henry showered, but keeping an eye on her. “Jasper, what are you…?”

“I’m just… leery about leaving either of you alone right now. Is that dumb?” he asked.

She shook her head. It wasn’t. She got it.

Captain Man announced that Kid Danger died saving a baby hospital, and if Henry wanted to remain a hero, he could always just be someone else. He had a different power, and everything. But… also… He knew that Henry didn’t want to stick around. While he was out working on getting the city calmed down, Schwoz made sure that the kids got home. And, he didn’t really hear from them while they were recovering. He could guess why.

To keep up appearances, they kept their social media active. Charlotte and Jasper replaced their phones and were posting hella photos of them mourning Kid Danger, but grateful for the chance to graduate and move on. Henry was with Piper a lot, showing up in her social media - mostly because SHE was so grateful that he actually wasn’t dead, but she was never going to admit that. Instead, she said stuff like, “Spending my last Swellview days with my biggest fan, my reckless brother” or some other version. “This idiot” and so on.

But, they were together, mostly. Piper had several graduation parties to attend and was requested at every Kid Danger memorial, as President of the Man Fans, so whenever she did those things, she left Henry at Charlotte’s. Jasper had only been home to grab his things and spent the rest of the time there, too. Charlotte was working on building a portable gumball maker, because it would be so much easier for them if they DIDN’T have to pack a lot of clothes, and also, Henry would need something for hero stuff. Then, Jasper wondered if she could make him something for hero stuff too, “Since I have superpowers now,” he said. She put it on her list.

Henry came in while she was working on that and Jasper was playing on his phone with his head in her lap. “Yo, yo, yiggety yo yo yo!” Henry cheered.

Jasper gasped and said, “BOOK CHECK!” He picked up one of Charlotte’s books from the workstation and threw it at Henry, who reflexively and defensively blocked it with a forcefield. “Amazing,” Jasper observed.

While Charlotte yelled, “Hey!” Because he threw one of her books. Henry picked it up and set it back where it went. “Hey, how are you, Hen?” Charlotte asked.

“Not as good as Jasper, with the best seat in the house,” he teased, then took his own seat, next to Jasper and leaned back onto Charlotte’s lap, as well.

“I’m not furniture,” she reminded them.

“We’re idiot doggies. We don’t know the difference,” Henry said. She rolled her eyes and continued working. “Are we sitting together at the city wide service?”

“Don’t you think you should sit with your family, after what happened to you and what almost happened to you?” Charlotte asked.

“You… two… are my family,” Henry said. Jasper reached over and took his hand. Charlotte strummed his hair. They continued with their plan of action for attending the service and making it to the airport…

Henry was confused whenever the bird hurt itself flying into him, but that was short lived. It was short lived, because the moment that he saw the blimp connecting with the mountain, and he watched in slow motion as what he believed to be his last few moments alive took place, he wished for something else. He tried to focus on why he did this. It was because he loved Ray, but also… because Swellview did need Captain Man. But Kid Danger?

Swellview couldn’t have needed him. His friends didn’t even need him. They had planned futures. They had decided to move on without him. But… Charlotte’s last cry. Hearing her scream his name, then all of the noise of the Man Cave crumbling… Did they make it out? Would they be free to leave Swellview? Would they… still want to… after this? Because the fire, the wreckage and the explosions that he was witnessing… there was no way that he was going to be alive for much longer. He jumped off of the blimp, hoping that at least if he wasn’t incinerated in the explosion, they would have something to confirm what happened to him. The babies were safe, so he no longer had to steer the blimp. A Swellview block was safe. Swellview was safe, thanks to him. Ray was safe. Knowing how dedicated Jasper was to doing what he said, Jasper and Charlotte were safe. He could die, knowing that the people that he loved were able to live on.

Whenever he landed, back first, he braced himself, but he bounced, then stopped moving. Was it so painful that he couldn’t feel it? Was it so bad that he had dissociated? He checked himself. He was still glowing green and he appeared unharmed… But… wreckage from the mountain and the blimp soon came tumbling down and he braced himself yet again to be killed… He wasn’t, though. Just… trapped. “Okay, so it’s slow starvation instead of instantaneous impact or at least a torturous few moments of burning?” He sighed and tried to shove the flaming wreckage off of himself. Not only was it not working, but more and more kept falling onto him. “Or suffocation?” He said, noting that it was very difficult to breathe under all of this. He started to try to see if this… protective glow could maybe push off some of this stuff like it deflected that bird and like it padded his fall. He was able to get himself a little more breathing room, but he was pretty buried. All that was left to do now was wait - either for this forcefield to fail and these rocks to crush him to death, to succumb to hunger, or maybe something else horrific could happen.

He tried to see if his phone was still on him. Maybe he could call someone. Maybe he could call Charlotte or Jasper… He recalled her voice screaming his name as presumably, she got out of the Man Cave? But… what if she didn’t? What if she and Jasper only made it as far as the elevator and everything collapsed, making it plunge right back down into the explosions? He shouldn’t think like that! He should try to have some hope… But… that was enough to scare him away from trying to call either of them. He tried to press the buttons by memory. Maybe he could contact Piper. She was out of dodge, so she was definitely safe and sound, somewhere… But his phone must’ve had bad coverage, because nothing happened. No connection… He was on his own, just the way that he figured he’d be whenever Team Danger left him in Swellview. “I’m gonna die here, in this place,” he announced miserably, to himself. “Alone…” He whispered and shut his eyes. Nobody was around, so it was okay for him to cry.

Time was lost on him. He almost passed out a few times, but immediately jumped awake whenever he felt the force field slip and the wreckage get heavier against him. His jump scare wake ups always push it out a little more, but not enough to free himself.

He thought about Jasper. The way he used to always try to be affectionate and it would make Henry slightly uncomfortable and try to avoid him for a moment… If he had Jasper here right now, he would hug him so tightly and apologize and tell him that he loved him and kiss him right on the lips. As friends, or whatever. It didn’t matter. He didn’t tell Jasper how much he appreciated him and his love and now, he was going to die alone and Jasper was going to maybe light a candle before he left for college, hopefully mourn accordingly and then move on with his life.

Charlotte… she was gonna go… what was she doing out there? Dystopia… was she working in one of their food deserts? If he had Charlotte here right now, he’d tell her to start from the beginning and tell him EVERYTHING on her mind. He wouldn’t cut her off, or tune her out, or make fun of her for how boring or nerdy whatever she was talking about was… Had he been that person? A person that doesn’t show his friends that he cared? A person who didn’t let his best friend love him? Didn’t listen to his other best friend? Would they even care to lose him? Kid Danger, sure… but… had he been a good enough Henry to them?

His brain was exhausted. His muscles hurt from the strain of staying alive inside of that force field, and his heart was broken by all of the regrets of being the kind of friend that friends and even his sister could just move on and leave behind. Maybe they were somewhere beating themselves up too. I mean… they WERE just gonna graduate and leave me… He felt bad for even thinking that way about them. They shouldn’t put their lives on hold just because HE had wasted his, and now, he had sacrificed it. He was probably always meant to be here. To fall, a hero, but die alone. He hated his mindset right now. He had been so sure whenever he sent Ray away. He had been so sure when the babies were safe. But, now, in this aftermath… He just wanted the death he deserved, a hero’s death… not this hell that he was putting himself through while he fought to stay alive, for what? Because starving, dehydration, and exhaustion were better than rock crushing?

He heard helicopters nearby and he tried to move. Maybe if he shifted a rock and knocked some down, they��d at least check this pile of rubbish. Rubbish? Weird. I must be delirious… One thing he wasn’t… moving those rocks. And it was hours before they began to move. He was about ready to throw in the towel. He was so out of it, he could’ve sworn that he heard Ray’s voice ask where he was. He answered. He’d been talking to himself and his ghosts all of this time. Might as well continue… Then, the rocks began to move and he saw their faces. Charlotte and Jasper! FINALLY. The death he deserved. Peaceful, with images that brought him joy and not anguish. He dropped the forcefield and he let himself find rest.

He hadn’t expected to wake up to find them there. He hadn’t expected to wake up at all, but he heard chatter about Dystopia and he knew those voices and he simply followed them until he was conscious again… and there they were - his friends. His loves. Of course, he wanted to be with them. He never wanted to have to be alone again, hero or not…

After a little bit, it became clear that they were going to have to do a little more than just help and watch after the girls in the program - people were always in need of help in Dystopia. They would wake up in the morning. Charlotte, wrapped up in two dudes and squirm her way out of them. She got better and better at putting their arms on each other so that she could stretch and have some tea before they got up. If Henry woke up first, he left a paper flower that he folded and a note that he went for a jog - he could do that, because he had a force field. Whenever Jasper woke up first, he would either stay where he was until somebody else got up, just cuddled up and watching them sleep.

No matter the order, they got up, took the train to the base. Charlotte taught classes, Jasper took photos and did maintenance work, and Henry helped with the community garden and security.

Any time that there was an alert for them to spring into action, Jasper and Henry were able to go more easily than she was, but the times when she DID get to go, those criminals had better watch out. She had a tap on mask programmed into her cyberchip, so she didn’t need to blow a bubble… she wasn’t big on gum, anyway, and she made sure that she kept Henry and Jasper’s gum supplied. Jasper needed two, they soon found out, after watching him be thrown around like a ragdoll, because he had not been able to sleep as easily with a pill. Charlotte’s sleeping gum recipe though? Put him right out and he was up and fighting in no time.

Henry had a hero complex with them. He still jumped in front of them and potential danger with his force fields, despite that they probably would be fine 9 times out of 10 if he hadn’t. He still asked Charlotte if she was going to go back to the base. He still felt like he was the one who had to protect them, sometimes. They were slowly getting him out of that habit every time they had to get out there and fight. Charlotte with her extensive gifts from the cyberchip. Jasper with his unique fighting style. And now, for however long they wanted to, the three of them would be as close… no… they were definitely already closer, than he and Ray had been when they were a team. Things worked out just as they were meant to! He wasn’t going to die alone. He smiled to himself as he popped the gumball into his mouth and rushed to catch up with his friends.

#Road to Dystopia #Nesha HD Fics #Dystopia #HD Dystopia #henry danger #hd ot3 #ot3 #Chensper

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jeonsduck · 6 years ago

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Smoke and Mirrors pt 4

WARNINGS: gore, graphic imagery.

a/n: im so sorry

Since getting permission from your new supervisor to work in San’s office, you’d fallen into a bit of a routine. You woke up, got ready, fed Noodles, and San picked you up from your building because it was on his way to work. On some mornings he’d come upstairs instead of calling yo he got there, bearing gifts of a breakfast sandwich (for you) and canned tuna (for Noodles). By now, your elder landlady recognized San and he blew her a kiss when he picked you up in the mornings.

When you arrived at the office, you’d hole yourself up in the file room until lunch. Keran or San would occasionally come by to check on you and bring you a little styrofoam cup off coffee and remind you to take a break. Sometimes Byul would break in and walk all over your papers and laptop keyboard until you scratched her behind her ears.

At 11:45, San would slip a leash on Byul and the three of you would go on a walk to pick up lunch for the whole office. You all ate in the front room, Keran and the bodyguards included. This was of course, if San didn’t have a lunch meeting, which you were learning were reserved only for his most important clients (read: Hongjoong and company). You caught glimpses of them when they came to see San, but you had yet to be introduced to any of them. You were thankful for that because just from what you’d heard about them from Agent Heejin they were men to be feared and taken very seriously.

After lunch it was back to the dungeon to try and make sense of what the hell San’s friends were doing with their money.

If he wasn’t too busy in the afternoons he might pop in and help explain something to you. As the person who oversaw all these transactions, he was your best bet at explaining some of their more convoluted financial practices. Like Jongho claiming farm exemptions on his martial arts school. Except it WAS a farm, and a school, and apparently Jongho was very dedicated to the fact that his students live seperated from society to focus on their sport or something like that. Either way it was a really complicated way of saying, yes, his 35 acres are eligible for educational and agricultural exemptions. There were at least 5 cases like this for each of them, and your head was pounding from the explanations. The information dump you were going through on this case was worse than college.

San drove you home after he locked up for the night, or if he was staying late, he’d send you home in a car with the guards. After you’d started at ledgers until your eyes burned, you had to go talk to Agent Heejin. Sometimes she called you, other times she visited your apartment. You’d talk for as long as she deemed necessary, sometimes for upwards of two hours. Occasionally, you had something suspicious to report, but it was a rare occurrence. Usually you ended up chasing the same half a million dollars around in circles for the whole day across different accounts until there was no where else for you to follow it. It was exhausting. And so far, there was nothing groundbreaking to report, which meant you just got to spend a couple extra hours being grilled every night.

Fun daily routine, right? Not in the slightest.

Well, that wasn’t completely true. It was a little fun. Especially when you saw San dressed like a trainwreck with his glasses off, frowning down at a stack of papers. Or when you caught him looking at you from the doorway with a pencil held behind his ear. Or when he rolled his shirt sleeves up so he could go get you a document you couldn’t find. Or when he smiled at you in the cutest way, or well, any time San was being cute. Was that kinda super unprofessional? Yeah, but you’d be done with this case eventually and maybe after that something could happen? It wasn’t as though it was completely one sided. Someone didn’t just start picking you up and taking you to work just because you lived in the same direction. And you’d heard the guards gossiping around the water cooler about how they could never convince their boss to let them choose what to eat for lunch, but he always asked you before making a decision nowadays. And then there was that time you‘d turned your head too fast when he was leaning over your shoulder, and you’d both been trapped in that moment with your noses nearly touching for way too long. San had finally blinked and cleared his throat and you’d both awkwardly avoided each other’s eyes for the next hour.

Your mildly flirty and mostly boring routine was broken when your new supervisor asked you to come in for a status report. San dropped you back off at your office, and told you to call him once you were done so he could send a car to take you home, since you’d left yours at your apartment. You went back up to your floor for the first time in weeks, and made an hour long presentation on your progress with this case (which was miniscule to say the least). Your boss thanked you for the update, told you you were doing a good job, and let you know he’d be sending the notes you presented to the administration.

After you left his office, you stopped by your cubicle to tidy something’s up, grab some extra supplies you needed,

“Y/N! How’s it going?” Jacob said, catching you on your way out.

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d seen him, and you gave him a hug. You had missed your cubicle neighbor.

“Slowly. I don’t know if I’ll ever be done with this case.” you sighed.

Jacob chuckled and patted you on the back.

“You got some time? We could grab dinner, maybe a couple drinks?” he offered.

You checked your phone for messages from San, only to find that it was dead. Ah, might as well.

“Yeah I could do dinner. You had somewhere in mind?”

Dinner with Jacob was…. Nice. You didn’t realize until halfway through the meal that maybe Jacob thought this was a date. But you still weren’t sure. You were sure that Jacob was more than a little nervous, stuttering over a lot of his sentences and fidgeting. But he wasn’t overbearing or making you uncomfortable. He was nice. Jacob was nice.

He drove you home after the meal, walking you to the front door of your building. You told him you had a nice time. He smiled at you and said the same. Then he awkwardly scooted back into his car and drove away.

You headed up to your apartment, putting your phone on charge the second you got in. You fed Noodles, got ready for bed, and put on some TV to watch before you went to bed. When your phone turned on it started buzzing wildly, startling Noodles.

“Who was calling me like that?” you wondered out loud.

Flipping your phone back over, you saw you had 50 text messages, 34 missed calls, and multiple voicemails. All from San. Begining from the time you were supposed to call him, the messages increased in frequency and worry even through your dinner with Jacob. Your phone buzzed to life again suddenly, San’s name and picture flashing on your screen.

“Hello?” you answered.

“Oh, my god Y/N! I thought you were dead in an alley somewhere or something! You were supposed to call me when you finished at the IRS. ” San said, sounding relieved.

“Oh gosh, I didn’t mean to worry you. My phone died and then I went to dinner with my work friend Jacob. Besides, I told you, I could Uber home or something.” you said.

“Yeah, but you would have at least answered my call from an Uber. I didn’t know what had happened to you.” he huffed.

“Well, I’m fine and I’m sorry for worrying you. I’ll buy you lunch tomorrow to make up for it.” you offered.

“Fine. But letting your phone die can be dangerous. What if something happens and you can’t call me?” he says.

“Shouldn’t I be calling the police if I’m in danger?” you counter with a chuckle, but San is serious.

“No, you should call me. So, promise me you won’t let your phone die, and you’ll answer me when I call.” he says.

You sigh and agree.

“Fine, I’ll watch my phone battery and I will always pick up if you call. Are we cool now?” you ask.

San chuckles, “We are, but you still owe me lunch tomorrow.” he says.

“Of course. Good night San.”

“Goodnight Y/N.”

You shake your head and look at Noodles.

“He’s such a character isn’t he?” you ask him, and Noodles just meows in response.

You chuckle and turn the TV off, falling asleep.

The next day it’s back to the same grind. It’s like that for most of the week. On Thursday you get an email from your supervisor, asking if you know where Jacob’s gone. You reply that you don’t know, but you’ll reach out to him. When you call him after lunch, Jacob’s phone goes straight to voicemail. Weird, but you’ve got a lot on your plate right now, so you’re not really worried about it.

You see Jacob again on Saturday, but not in the way you were expecting, or ever wanted to see him. You got a call from the police station early that morning, asking you to come in about something. You thought it had something to do with San or the case you were working with the IRS. You never thought that they’d be calling you down to help identify Jacob’s waterlogged corpse.

It wasn’t a pretty sight. Whoever had done this, had been angry and well versed in the art of murder. His right hand was broken, shattered more like. So were both of his legs, one at the femur, one at the shin. He’d been garroted, a sharp wire choking him and cutting into his neck until he either asphyxiated or bled to death, whichever came first. That the coroner wasn’t quite sure of. What they were sure of, was that Jacob’s body had been beaten and mutilated before he’d been killed. His heart had been carved out of his chest cavity after the fact though. They’d found the charred remains in his car, which had been pushed deep into the woods and set on fire. Jacob’s body had been found in a lake not far from there, only because the killer had messed up when puncturing his lungs to prevent his body from floating.

You didn’t process this all at once though. You’d walked into the morgue, noted the awful smell, and the coroner had asked you to peel back the white sheet. You had, and nearly fell over in shock. That was your friend on the table. You stumbled back a couple steps, your ears ringing. You faintly heard the officer who had walked you here asking if that was Jacob on the table, and you nodded absently. You’d been handed a file on Jacob’s autopsy and then ushered out of the room by the officer who brought you there. You stumbled along like you were in a dream, not realizing that the cop was leading you to an interrogation room.

“We have reason to believe you were the last person to see Jacob alive, so we have a few questions for you…”

You sat there, shell shocked and more than a little traumatized, while the police questioned you for hours about the last time you saw Jacob. Nervous, but happy. A little excited, like an overgrown puppy. Different officers came to ask you the same questions, and you knew what they were doing. Trying to get you to crack, to admit something that didn’t happen, to find some flaw in your relationship, and easy out, a motive. But after you’d sobbed for three hours, you were too tired to even keep crying, and eventually they released you, emotionally numb and exhausted.

The sun was still shining outside the precinct, like the day had the right to be happy. You looked at your car, unwilling to drive, and on impulse, you called San.

Y/N?”

“Yeah, San can you come pick me up? I’m at the police station, I don’t think I should drive.” you said.

“What? Why are you at the police station? I’ll be there soon just hold on.” he said.

“Okay.” you sighed and hung up. You sat down on a bench outside, and after a few minutes, it began to sun shower. You snorted, but just sat there, getting soaked as other people ran around you for cover. You only realized San had pulled up when the rain stopped and you heard him fussing over you.

“You’re gonna catch a cold, sitting out in the rain like this. Come get in the car.”

You let San basically manhandle you into his car, realizing that you were about to get in his expensive Italian sports car sopping wet.

“Sorry, send me you upholstery bill.”

“One, no. Two, you can’t afford it. Three, the leather was getting kinda worn anyway. Do you want to tell me why you were at the police station?” he prompted.

You just shook your head, gazing out the window.

“Later. Just take me home please.”

You zone out as San drives, watching raindrops slide down the car window.

“Y/N, we’re here.” San said, snapping you out of a daze.

“Will you come up with me? I don’t want to be alone right now.” you ask.

“Of course.”

San parks his car in your spot, and follows you up to your apartment. Noodles comes trotting out when you open the door, avoiding you when he sees that you’re wet and rubbing uo against San instead.

“Go take a shower, put on some dry clothes. Should I order food?” San asks, scooping Noodles up in his arms.

You don’t want to eat, but you say yes anyway. You leave San to his own devices in the living room and go to take a shower. Maybe you’re crying again, but there’s no way to be sure. You end up standing under the hot water for nearly an hour. When the food he ordered arrives, San knocks on your bathroom door, letting you know that you should get out and eat while the food is hot.

You towel off and get dressed in pajamas, trudging back out to the kitchen, San is sitting at your island with a large pizza in front of him. You sit down next to him and take a slice, chewing slowly. It’s good pizza. You say as much. When you finish, San puts away the box and stands infront of you, cupping your face in his hands.

“Do you want to keep processing, or do you want me to distract you?” he asks, looking into your eyes.

You answer without even thinking, wanting to stop feeling so awful.

“Distract me, please.”

San smiles sadly, bringing your faces together and connecting your lips gently. You’re trembling a little, and San feels solid and real pressed against you.

“I’m sorry.” he says.

“It’s not your fault.” you mumble.

San doesn’t reply, just kisses you again, and again, and again.

#ateez #san #ateez san #choi san #choi san x reader #ateez x reader #san x reader #san fanfic #san imagines #san scenarios #ateez fanfic #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines

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damnitdyna-blog · 5 years ago

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My Break Up Pt. II

I’ve stayed quiet and never addressed the issues that came directly after my initial Tumblr post back in November. I didn’t have the mental capacity for it, and needed time to let everything sink in. I slowly started writing this post at the beginning of the year. Unexpectedly, the world hits us with a pandemic and I became hesitant on sharing. Though I do acknowledge there are larger issues going on in the world and we’re in a place of uncertainty. The quest to continue the truth, my truth, is still the goal.

I live in a world where women are taught to use their voice and speak even if their voice cracks. When I finally found courage in doing so, I’m told some things I shared were lies by my ex-boyfriend. The same man who went radio silent on social media for a whole month soon after I shared my story but managed to send me a “cease and desist” letter via email demanding I take my post down or there will be legal consequences. To force a woman to remove her survival story is a scared tactic and a form of bullying.

I don’t need to prove anyone wrong for accusing me of lying. However, I’d like to clear the air on some claims he's made about me.

1.) It was brought to my attention that there are claims I knew about the nude photograph he took of me and that I immediately shared the image to the internet and Snapchat.

I’d like to elaborate on details I failed to mention in my initial post from November because I only highlighted the main points. I understand small details are just as important. But here's the full truth....

• I did NOT know nor asked him to take a photograph of me while I was showering.

• He did surprise me with the image after I finished showering. I laughed and called him a pervert for being sneaky.

• I shared a CENSORED version of the photograph to my friends via Snapchat to poke fun at him for being a “perverted boyfriend.” Censored as in, it was edited with a censored mark covering my body.

• Sharing a censored version on Snapchat does NOT give him permission to share the full raw image to a woman soon after it was taken.

• I do NOT know this woman and didn’t realize she’s been following and interacting with me through social media this entire time.

2.) I have legal documents signed by a judge of the Superior Court highlighting some of his response to my petition for a restraining order. "He was trying to set up a sexual tryst and seriously misread Petitioner's willingness to participate.” Claiming he “seriously misread” would indicate that a conversation such as was brought up at one point in time or place between the both of us. To my understanding, we were in a monogamous relationship. I was unaware he was having sexual relations with other people let alone exchanging nude images of me with strangers to initiate sex.

Half way into our relationship, I noticed a sudden change in behavior where he would decline sexual intimacy any time I would initiate it. There was always an excuse to avoid it that it began to worry me. I asked him questions, but he’d reassure me how happy he is to be with me and is excited about building a future together. I would then sweep it under the rug to prevent an argument. To say he “seriously misread my willingness to participate” in a sexual activity perhaps with a third party knowing his constant refusal to have sex with me is a bit of a stretch and a slap in the face.

3.) There's claims that I broke into his apartment after I gave up my apartment key to him.

It's OUR apartment in case there's any confusion. My name is included on the lease. He agreed to cover my half of rent + utilities February - April 2019. I ended up paying for our utilities each month including additional late fees while he kept our security deposit that we did not agree on.

April 30th, 2019 was the move out date.

April 7, 2019, I signed the document as stated below:

The apartment key “I gave up” was not a result of me no longer living there. On March 23, 2019, I was heading home to be with family. I specifically left the key with him to give to our guest visiting from Portland, Oregon for access to the apartment building without complications. I would have kept the apartment key if we didn't have a guest. Some of my belongings were still at the apartment so I knew I would return to pick them up. Here’s my DM with our guest dated Mar 23, 2019 soon as I left.

On Saturday, April 6, 2019, I “broke into” OUR apartment to pick up the rest of my belongings out of hurt and frustration when I found out his current girlfriend was continuously at our apartment while I was away with family for emotional support. I no longer had the key to our place, so I went into the property manager’s office to request a spare one. I first contacted his current girlfriend on March 28, 2019, through Instagram, when I learned she came over to our apartment. I was alarmed that my ex-boyfriend invited another woman into our home approximately 5 days after I stepped away to be with family. I believe every woman’s natural reaction would be emotionally distraught upon learning there is another woman in your home. In the message, I respectfully notified her explaining the situation she’s in which she claims she was unaware of. I did not create animosity and didn’t demand she leave my apartment; though I had every right to. I wanted her to make an educated decision on her own whether or not she feels comfortable to be in my home knowing she’s caught in the thick of our breakup.

4.) He claims I sent my Tumblr post to his associates and family members insinuating I was harassing them.

I shared it with 3 women whom I’ve already had prior interactions with. The first woman is a close girl friend who marveled over his excitement and happiness since he's been with me. The second woman is his best friend’s wife who gave me motivational advices to help me cope with the break up. The third woman is his ex-girlfriend of several years.

However, there's legal document that shows a screenshot text conversation between my ex-boyfriend and a gentleman whom I share mutual associates with. I read the gentleman telling my ex-boyfriend that he received my Tumblr post directly from me which is NOT true. It didn't take me long enough to figure out the conversation between the two of them were rehearsed or photoshopped. It's one thing for my ex-boyfriend to lie. But to create or photoshop a fake conversation because he needed an ally is wrong.

Through my healing journey, I’m learning that the way we respond to specific behaviors is a measurement of our character and the type of individual beings we are. I can only imagine when you’re caught in the heat that you’re bound to create falsified stories to protect your image rather than taking accountability. The fact that we’re even having a dialogue about a man I was in love with whom I trusted violating my privacy is beyond disturbing. Those were personal photos and moments between myself, him, and the four walls we were in. It’s disheartening that someone like him feels entitled enough to share something like that to the world. I have no clue what this woman has done with my photograph and who she might have shared it to. If my ex-boyfriend did something like this, I cannot imagine what else he’s done that I haven't yet discovered.

I don’t think people understand the magnitude of how traumatizing this is for me and how it’ll affect me in future relationships moving forward. It’s caused me emotional damage where I had to seek therapy. I never received an apology from him till this day other than a cease and desist letter demanding my post to be taken down to keep me quiet. Between finding not only the right lawyer but one I was comfortable with in handling a non-consensual pornography case and juggling both school + work full time, it became extremely complicated and overwhelming. It took a toll on me emotionally, mentally, and physically. I didn’t fully go through with pressing charges. Nothing can make up for the damage that’s been done. I just wanted everything to go away; the pain and heartache. Please understand that just because a case didn’t go in full effect, that doesn’t mean it never happened.

One may seek a new partner directly after a relationships ends to fill a void if it means to ignore accountability for the suffering of others. But their biggest punishment is that they are who they are. I think back to the conversation we had in our bedroom apartment when he opened up about his estranged older sister who went on his social media leaving a specific comment about him. Going through what I went through and knowing what I know now, I question if her claims are in fact true. If they are, may God be with his new born daughter when she arrives.

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lemonjoonah · 7 years ago

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Under Fire - Pt 3

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Title: Under Fire Word Count: 6K Rating: M Genre: Gang AU, Drama Warnings: Violence Pairings : Hyung Line x Reader (Primarily Namjoon x Reader), very slight OT7 x Reader. Pairings (in this chapter): Namjoon x Reader, Jin x Reader, Jimin x Reader, Hobi x Reader.

Summary: As a child you lived among the most wealthy and powerful, after the death of your mother you were shipped off to stay with her sister. Even after finishing your education you continue to live apart from the elite, but a visit home creates an unexpected disaster. You are suddenly roped into a darker world, and who better to be your guide than the infamous gang known as BTS.

Chapter 3 - Collateral Damage

POV (Y/N)

Namjoon is followed in by two others, one who you vaguely remember from the manor, and another you have yet to meet. But, after hearing you shout Namjoon’s name in anger, they both make a u-turn heading back to the door.

“V, Jimin, you don’t have to leave,” pleads Namjoon.

“I think it would be better if we did Namjoon, this conversation sounds too arduous for my taste.” The member called V places an odd emphasis on Namjoon’s name. “Jin let us know when she is finished with him, I would like to introduce myself properly.

Jin nods looking very intently at my shoulder, probably uncomfortable by the fact that he has to stay by default.

You shake your head in disbelief, “How... how is this possible? I checked the database the day you introduced yourself. You have no record! Are you telling me that my father intentionally sent a lone gang member to my apartment, without so much as a warning?

Jin speaks up without even raising his head, “He actually sent the gang leader.” Namjoon glares at him, Jin continues to stitch the wound, ignoring Namjoon.

“Why? Why would he send you? My father has more than enough money to hire a whole security team.”

“People are easily bought, loyalty is not. I was glad Park trusted me enough to protect you, to keep you hidden. I felt sorry for your situation. After the attack I was worried to leave you alone. I tried to convey to Park what you revealed to me...”

You cut him off, “Oh god, I told you that I was lonely, I told you that I was scared, and then you ki...” Your hands went to you face and you groan unable to finish the sentence it’s so embarrassing. If the kiss had been based on attraction, like you originally hoped, it would have been fine, but no, you had unknowingly taken comfort in his pity. Jin thinking that you can’t see him, looks over at Namjoon mouthing the words, what did you do?

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have made contact your father advised against it.”

“Did he?” You whisper, you can't decide if you are more upset about the kiss or your father’s determination to keep you in the dark. The room falls quiet. Jin takes this time to finish stitching the wound together. You close your eyes focusing on the pain.

“Your father and I... we were very close, I could tell that you meant the world to him.” Namjoon murmurs.

Your eyes flash open again to pierce him with your gaze as you scoff, “You just contradicted yourself. Either my father didn’t care about you and your line of work, or he didn’t trust me enough to handle the truth. I am beginning to think the latter.”

“He wanted to keep you safe.” He defends, his voice rising with mine.

I sat up making the move to stand, Jin trying to hold me in place. “Bullshit! How did he think that this was going to end? Did he think that he was just going to pass on peacefully with no pending vendettas against him, did he think I wouldn’t find out? If he really cared about my safety he would have told me, he could have trained me. If I had been prepared he might not be dead right now,” You lash out with tears.

“(Y/N), I need you to calm down. RM maybe you should leave.” Jin urges.

Instead he comes closer and helps Jin lay you back down on the table. He looks you straight in the eye, “Seven against one are odds that even someone with training can’t beat. This was not your fault. He never want you to face any of this, he didn’t tell you so that you could live your life without fear.”

Your anger continues to grow, “Do you know why I hacked into the criminal documents at the police department?”

He shakes his head.

“I was constantly surrounded by anomalies, people who knew my name before I told them, people who didn’t seem to have a past, people who threw around their money that they earned doing “freelance work.” I went to the police to tell them that I felt like I was being followed, but to them I was just a paranoid and delusional girl. I did my own research. They all had records drug dealing, assault, ect. I would try to distance myself but then along would come someone else. I was inexplicably happy the day you arrived in my store. Your actions proved to me that I wasn’t crazy. There had to be some other driving force luring these people to me, something more than my family name, if someone else knew that I need protection. I was never safe, just uninformed and afraid.”

Namjoon doesn’t respond.

You look over at Jin who has finished stitching. He stammers realizing that he is staring, “How does it feel? I have to disinfect it one last time. Brace yourself, it’s going to hurt.” Namjoon looks like he is going to reach out for your hand, but you pull it away. The pain is so excruciating you grip the table instead, knuckles turning white.

You could feel Jin’s warm hands through the bandage as he presses it to your shoulder. “I need you to stay in this room for a day or two so we can monitor your vitals. I had to give you a blood transfusion, and I want to observe how you respond to the medication. I’ll go fetch you some fresh clothes. Namjoon could you move her over to the bed?” He nods as Jin leaves the room. Sitting you up and lifting you in his arms he’s careful not to touch your skin. He rests you down so that you are sitting on the sheets. Crouching before you he takes you hands in his.

He pulls something out of his pocket and places it in your clasped hand, it’s your father’s ring, your families ring. You know his intention in giving it is to comfort you, but feels like just another slap in the face. Your anger dissolves into sadness, tears finally streaming down your face. He hesitates before reaching up and wiping one away with his thumb. You feel bad for taking out your anger on Namjoon, it wasn’t his fault that your father had wanted to keep this hidden.

Jin returns. “RM I leave you for one moment and here you are driving my patient to tears, OUT!”

Namjoon protests.

“Unless (Y/N) doesn’t mind you staying here while she changes?” Jin askes.

He turns bright red, dropping your hand he apologizes, and leaves without another word.

“Works every time.” Jin smiles and laughs to himself, “Put him in an awkward situation and he freezes right up. I hope these fit we don’t have to many clothes that’ll suite you. We never thought we would need to keep a stock of women’s clothes in our safehouse.” In addition to the clothes he also brought a basin of warm water and a few towels. “I’ll just be cleaning up my instruments if you need help.” He drew a curtain to give me some privacy.

The sweat pants weren’t a problem, the shirt on the on the other hand. “Jin?”

“Yes?”

“I might need another pair of hands.”

The shirt is stuck to you, dried blood gluing it to your skin, a difficult task even if both your arms were working. “I think we’ll have to cut it off.” He looks a little uncomfortable but proceeds anyway.

“It’s a good thing you don’t freeze up during awkward situations too.”

He smiles, “I can’t afford to, someone has to be the mature one of the group.”

You hold a sheet to your chest as he cuts the last of the shirt off. You unhooked your bra at the same time and slip it off. “Let me wash your back for you, you’re not going to be able to reach all the blood,” Jin offers.

“Thank you I’ll be honest I didn’t expect...”

“Gang members to act this way? Not all do obviously. I don’t have the typical upbringing that most gang members have had. I was part of a political family, always in the spotlight, I have tried to hold on to the manners and social graces passed down to me.”

You had often interacted with other political families as a child. The memory of a childhood crush comes to the forefront of your mind, one that you hadn’t thought about it years. You understand why Jin looks so familiar now. You turn around to face him, a bloody cloth resides in his hand, a confused expression appears on his face. Looking into his eyes, you question his name, “Seokjin?”

His smile is so great that it crinkles his eyes, “I thought that you would never recognize this handsome face.” An air of laughter in his voice.

You smile back reaching slowly up to his face. “How long has it been?”

He cups your hand to his cheek, “18 years, not since the funeral...”

When your mom died..when you moved to the countryside to be with her sister, that was when your whole life changed. You can’t help but regret your father’s decision to ship you off now.

While you are lost in your thoughts, he abruptly pulls your hand away. Clearing his throat he changes his tone back to that of an acquaintance, becoming uncomfortably professional. “If you could please call me Jin... I have left that other name behind. It would probably be best to call Namjoon RM as well, some of the guys get uneasy when we use real names.”

“Of course Jin but why are you here now. What happened?”

“I’ll have to save that story for another time.” He pulls out a zip up sweater and tries stretching out your weak arm slowly pulling the sleeve up the length of it. After pulling your other arm through he comes around and front and zips it up. You pull the sheet out from underneath.

“I never thought that I would see you again. Thank you Jin for everything.” He beams at you but you can’t help but feel that he is hiding more than he lets on.

“I’m going to give you some painkillers, and take first watch. Jimin will be in later while I get some rest. If you need to reach me, please use that button.” He points to a remote on the bedside table. He settles into the chair beside your bed. After plugging in your IV he holds you hand until you fall asleep... just like he used to.

POV Jin

You fall asleep quicker than I anticipate. I run my hands through my hair. I still can’t believe that you remember me, I’m not sure if I should be happy that you can recall my name after 18 years apart, or upset that you know me from my previous life. You are the only good period in a past that I want to forget so much. While you sleep I sit in the chair next to you, my head resting in my hands, while I monitor your vitals.

RM returns an hour later. I let a sigh escapes me, now it is my turn to fess up. I look at RM through my fingers, elbows’ still on my knees to support my heavy head.

“I knew Park had a daughter.”

“I figured as much.”

“How?..”

“When I let then news drop you were the only one who stayed quiet, you Jin, you have an opinion on everything.”

I chuckle. “We used to play together as kids in my other life. Our fathers were close before... well, you know... They were more than friends, more than colleagues, they were like brothers. After the incident she moved away and I haven’t seen her since. Almost 20 years later she still remembers me. Park told me not to say anything, he said that it was for the best. I question it now though, was he right to make that decision? It seems like she has dealt with more hardships than we were aware of.”

RM looks over at you.

“She’s out cold there was a light sedative with her pain medication, she won’t wake for at least a few hours.” I inform him.

RM takes a deep breath, “I think it was wrong of him to make that decision for her. I want to bring her into the fold, but in order to do that I am going to need your help. Now that her father has pass and without his approval she will be understandably cautious. ”

I open my mouth to argue, but RM continues.

“I know, I’m sorry there are going to be things that you aren’t going to want to discuss but she is from your world originally. Not only that but she has worked alone to survive for so many years, she may not want to rely on us for help. You and Hope need to show her your kindness, and Suga will show her the outside threat. If you succeed, we can all show her how sweet revenge is.”

POV (Y/N)

You wake with the sun beaming onto your face. Lifting your hand to cover your eyes you grimace in pain.

“Morning sleepy head.”

“What time is it?”

“Almost noon.”

You open your eyes, the bare white walls instantly reminding you of your situation. You rolled over in tears hoping that sleep would claim you again, so you didn’t have to face the truth yet. You hadn’t completely processed the situation last night, but that doesn’t change the facts, you are the last remaining member of the Park line, no more father, no mother, no siblings. You are alone...

You feel a finger poke your back. “Is there anything I can get you?” As your breathing hitches noisily, you hear Jimin take a step back.

“I just need some privacy.”

“You missed breakfast, what do you want to eat?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Jin’s not going to like...”

“Please Jimin,” you beg cutting hit off. “I just want to be alone.”

He gives in, “I’ll be outside the door if you need me.”

You cover your face and let out a wail of sadness which dissolves into more tears. Alone again, you will have to get used to this. Although you did not see you father very much having him there occasionally was better than not at all. His secrets hurt you deeply, the same questions running through your head over and over. What exactly was he using this team for that he couldn’t tell you? Had he not realized the pain he was putting you through? Is it okay to be angry with him even though he paid the ultimate price for it all? Your mind teeters between grief and anger only to be distracted hours later by the sound of a row outside.

“She wants privacy!” Exclaimes Jimin.

“I want to make sure that she is okay.” You hear Namjoon respond.

“Did she push the button?”

There is a pause before Namjoon answers, “No.”

“Then I’m not letting you in, she will come out when she wants to. Give her time.”

Namjoon swears loudly but the sound of his footsteps leading away reaches your ears. You feel a surge of gratefulness toward Jimin as you don’t want anyone to see you like this especially Namjoon. You want to be strong in front of him and knowing that he was your father’s right hand man would make you crumble again instantly.

You partially unzip your sweater to take a look at the wound, the pain has returned, and the bandage is somewhat bloody. You look around the room. Two doors, one the exit, the other must be the bathroom. You thank the gods that you won’t have to leave the room to use the toilet. You push yourself to the edge of the bed, testing your legs on the floor before making the trek.

Looking in the mirror was a mistake. Your hair the consistency of a mop, eyes extremely puffy. You hadn’t noticed last night that Jin had placed a bandage on your neck as well. You tie your hair back with the elastic on your wrist.

After relieving yourself, you are heading back to bed when pain overwhelms you, hitting with a wave of dizziness to top it off. You reach out to grab the table next to you to steady yourself, but your blurry vision prevents you from seeing Jin’s surgery tray resting near the edge. There is a large clatter as both you and the tray fall to the floor . You swear loudly.

Jimin came barging through the door. “Are you okay?” He kneels down to you assessing your condition. You look to the floor taking a moment to pull yourself together. He craned his head under yours looking up at your face. “You should have called for help, I was just outside if you needed me remember?”

“I’m used to getting by on my own, I just got dizzy.”

“Getting by with a gunshot wound?” He asks skeptically. “You’re probably in a lot of pain aren’t you?”

You look away embarrassed by his proximity.

“Let me help you.” You begin to shake your head.

“It wasn’t a question.” He lifts you up, taking you back over to the bed. “You need more pain medicine. I’ll call Jin, he’ll want to know you’re up,” he pulls out his phone before you could protest. He takes a few steps away from your bed pacing as he talks to Jin.

You try not to listen in on their conversation, disliking the act of having to listening to people talk about you. Jimin comes back over to you but now he was the one who looks embarrassed.

“Thank you for earlier with RM, I know that it probably wasn’t easy going against your leader like that.”

“Oh you heard that?” He says growing more flustered, “I just know that if it was me I would need time to collect my thoughts.”

You agree nodding, “And sorry about the height joke yesterday.”

That earns a full laugh from him. “I’m surprised you even remember that, it’s fine really, not like I haven’t heard them all before.

Jin walks in the door with a tray, “I brought food I thought you might be hungry, Jimin I brought yours too. How are you feeling?”

He puts a hand to your forehead. “No fever that’s good, let’s check your...wound” He hesitates on your sweater, still partially unzipped, solving the mystery of Jimin’s abashedness.

After his examination Jin makes sure to zip your sweater back up to the top. “Stitches seem to be holding, take this.” He hands you more pain medication and a glass of water.

You watch Jin out of the corner of your eye as he walks back to the food tray. He slaps the back of Jimin’s head along the way, whispering and gesturing to you. You try to look absorbed in your own thoughts while drinking your water but a snort of laughter sneaks through. Jin carries your food over to you. “Hope you like black bean noodles.” You nod eyes wide, unable to remember the last time that someone made food for you like this.

In the distance you could hear the smoke detector. “Never should have left RM in charge of the stove.” Jin muttered under his breath leaving swiftly.

Jimin had just picked up his dinner and looked as if a dilemma was raging inside of him. Defeat showing in his slumped shoulders he turns towards the door bowl in hand.

“Jimin could you stay and eat with me?”

He turns his head to give you a beautiful smile. “Of course.”

You both ate in silence for the most part, but it was nice to have someone else there. You run one question over and over in your head try to figure out the best way to phrase the query. “Jimin if you don’t mind me asking how did you meet my father?”

“You mean how did I come to be in a gang?” He smirks, seeing right through you. He then hesitates and lowers his head.

“I’m sorry it was rude of me to ask, I’m sure it’s personal.”

“Your right it is personal. Not many people join gangs out of desire, for most of us membership was the only path to survival. I used to work in films as a stunt double, I specialized in sword fighting. My work was my life I loved the beauty of the movements and the complexity they reached. I still look back in on that time fondly, however I reached a dry spell with my career, no one was creating films with old style fighting scenes. I tried to broaden my horizon with other stunts but ended up injuring myself during a car chase scene. Unable to work I quickly fell into debt and stared owing money to the wrong kind of people. I never should have listened to the other actors when they said that they had connections to borrow money, by connections they meant drug dealers.”

He pauses, a pained look appears on his face as he begins to speak again. “They came for me one night when I was late on a payment. As they beat me to a pulp, they debated if they were going to sell me on the market, thinking that my looks might make them a profit. I fought off most of them but they hit back hard. They left me for dead in the alley when they realized that I wasn’t such and easy target.”

I shivered as I thought of my own experience, imagining the fear and pain he must have felt. “RM found me, and Jin fixed me up. They told your father I would be an asset to the team with the experience I had. Your father paid off my debts and placed me under his protection. I was proud to be on his team. I never felt like I was going against my conscience with the jobs he gave us. He was a good man.”

“What kind of work do you guys do?”

“Not sure that I am the best one to explain it, RM will have to fill you in.”

I look at my watch, it was approaching 6pm. I don’t want to put this off any longer, “ Could I meet the rest of the team, I wouldn’t mind getting out of this room.”

“I can always call them up here but if you’re really determined Jin said that they will be in downstairs in the kitchen.”

“I think I can handle that, stairs will be the easiest obstacle I’ve had all week.”

“Before talking to them you should know, some of the other members are a bit more private about their life before joining. I would let them approach the subject first rather than asking.” You nod, his concern for his fellow members is admirable.

With food inside you and feeling a bit more stable, making it to the stairs under your own power. You grip the railing as you go down, Jimin holding on to your side ready to catch you if you end up going head first. You examine your surroundings as you descend. “I thought Jin said this was a safe house, this place is huge.”

“It‘s more like our city residence. Park wanted us to be comfortable, and the location is more convenient than the manor for running ops,” Jimin explains.

Just to the side of the kitchen there it a long table with eight chairs. Namjoon is seated at the head, Jin to his right, JHope next to Jin, with an empty seat beside Hope.

The three seats on the other side of namjoon are occupied by those who you have not yet met officially although you think you might have had a brief glance at the boy in the middle last night. Jimin pulls out the chair at the end for you.

“Sorry to interrupt.”

“No need to apologize this is perfect timing, let me introduce Suga, V, and JK.” Namjoon responds kindly.

You bow your head to them, silence creeps into the room. Everyone’s eyes are down cast no one looking directly at you, a truly somber meeting. How much did your father mean to them? It seems like he might have been more than just a patron.

“I would like to thank you all for last night, I wouldn’t be sitting here right now if it wasn’t for your help.”

“We had our orders, “Get her out, and keep her safe.” Suga mutters. He earns an elbow to the side from V.

“I apologize if they seem rude.” Jin glares at Suga. “Only RM and I knew of your existence until yesterday.”

“I can relate. You are not going to disrespect me by being honest. I wish I could have saved him, I know that you would rather have him sitting here instead of me”

J-Hope responds, “Your father treated all of us like a family. He saved us all and brought us together. His last request was for us to save you. I am thankful that we were able to fulfill that wish.” You give him a small smile which he returns. You can’t help but feel that he might have been more of a father to them than he was to you.

Your fingers fumble on the ring in your pocket. You reassure yourself that this is the right decision before placing it on the table. You look Namjoon dead in the eye trying to show confidence in your choice. “I will leave this in your care, it was always intended to symbolize the passing of familial duties. I don’t think I can live up to that task anymore,” you smile sadly. “I’m sorry to intrude on your space, I’ll be out of your hair by Monday, I have my ticket already booked.”

V’s eyes widen looking at you,“ Your father’s will specified that you were the single heir, you know what you are to inherrate right? A multi billion dollar fortune.”

You nod your head. “I never wanted to live like this lifestyle thought, why do you think I work at a bookstore? The thought of being an heiress with political ties...” You shiver with anxiety, “I wanted to have a normal life away from the spotlight, and I still dot.”

V opens his mouth again only uttering one word, “but...”

Namjoon continues when V’s words fail. “What V is trying to say is that it is no longer safe for you to return to your old life. GOT7 is already aware of your status, and news will spread fast. Not only was Park a rich political advocate but he was also the patron and founder of BTS. Other gangs will see you as a commodity and a threat with Park gone. The original plan, if anything like this happened, was to disband, but there is too much at stake right now. In addition we now have a debt to collect from GOT7.”

“What do you expect me to do, take on my father’s role? Be your financial backer no questions asked? I don’t need to stay here. I have my own life, I can take care of myself.”

“You could barely take care of yourself before.” He retorts.

“What is that supposed to mean?” As you ask it occurs to you that last week might not have been his first trip to Busan. “How long have you been watching me RM?!” You snap back.

He flinches, you are unsure if it was the change of name or you calling him out.

“There were several targets that I monitored over the years. I took them out before they could get too close. Imagine what it will be like now, with the secret out.”

“How many?!” You yell your patience growing thin.

The other members look to Namjoon as if they are also interested in that information.

“11 maybe 12.” Namjoon mutters.

“Aissh, this is why I don’t like to be kept in the dark! I need transparency not a protector, then maybe I can be ready for what will come. Monday morning I will be on that train.”

“I am telling you it’s not safe.”

The other members heads swiveled back and forth as if watching a tennis match.

“Well then I guess lucky 13 will finish me off, but at least I’ll die on my own terms, my own risk.”

“Is that what your father would have wanted?”

Your heart stops, unable to believe harshness of the words he just delivered. “Don't you fucking dare, how dare you turn this on me?! How the hell should I know, the man lied to me my whole life, how would I know what he wanted?” You storm out of the room. You make it halfway up the stairs before collapsing in sobs while clutching your shoulder.

POV RM

Jin looks at me, “Well that went well.”

I place my hand on my face pinching my brow.

“JK I need you to hack into the street cams around her work and apartment in Busan I’ll give you the addresses, we need to prove to her that her past life has been compromised.”

Jk nods, and retreats to his computer den.

“What is your plan for her RM?” asks Jimin.

“She has potential you all have seen that, she could be more than just a backer. I tried to explain this to Park a week ago but now we have to bring her in. J-Hope you got what I asked?”

“Right here,” He smiles lifting the bags.

“She’s going to need a hand if you could help her.” I ask of him.

“You are to be a perfect gentleman, do you hear me?.” Jin adds.

“I always am.” He laughs, running off.

“Suga I’ll need you to take her out after like we discussed.”

He nods, “I never thought I would see the day that someone could shut you down so easily RM. That is a skill set worth keeping close.” A smirk clearly displayed on his face at my expense.

“As her acting physician, I really must advise against this. She needs rest.” Jin warns

“Either we do this now, or we find her sneaking out in the middle of the night. I’m sure you can see how determined she is, she will completely underestimate the amount of danger she’s in.

“We’ll maybe if you didn’t insult her...” V starts but then tapers off.

I scowl at him and give him a task to focus on, “V I need you to take her to the bank tomorrow. With the news out about her father, she should claim her inheritance as soon as possible.” I issue one last order,“Jin you and I will need to prepare the funeral arrangements.”

POV J-Hope

I find you seated on the steps halfway up, you body trembling, and breathing ragged, but no tears. “Are you okay?” You respond by shaking your head. “Let’s move you off the stairs then.”

Hoisting you up I take you to your new room. I was confident that you would find it far more comfortable than Jin’s sterile office . I sit you down at the foot of the bed and couch in front of you. Resting a hand on you pale forearm I wait for your anxiety to lessen before speaking again.

“How does your arm feel?”

“Numb, I can’t feel much right now.”

I couldn't be sure if you were referring to the pain or your circumstances. I nod, not pushing the issue, instead I start pulling off the bags that a had kept on my arm. Pushing a smile on my face trying to stay positive, “I bought you some clothes, just went off the sizes of what you were wearing, I hope everything fits okay.” You pull out an oversize white hoodie, a black shirt and black leggings in addition to some undergarments.

“Wow you pick these out too?” You ask holding up the green underwear.

If you are expecting to get a rise out of me it definitely works. Blushing I stammer, “No! The sales women chose those.” I fail to mention that the associate did ask what my favourite colour was. “There is a shower in there if you want to freshen up, Jin suggested keeping the bandage on.”

The second you start unzipping your hoodie I jump back in further embarrassment. “Could you hand me that towel to cover myself. I am going to need help taking this off.” You shove the towel up your shirt. I hold the sleeve as you retract your good arm. I pull the sweater around exposing your back, you attempt to straighten your other arm, only to be followed by a gasp of pain.

“Easy there take it slow.” I help you by moving the fabric around so no further movement is needed from your arm. After you head to the bathroom I lay back on the bed trying to cool my heated face.

Parks daughter, I could definitely see similarities in there determination, but they are very different when it comes to emotions, you wear yours on your sleeve, whereas Park buried his beneath. Will you be able to handle the pressure? You will have to rely on us far more than Park did, not that I would mind.

The water stops after 10 minutes or so, I hear another yep of pain not long after, I rush to the door. “Need help?”

“Unless you can put my bra on for me I’m good.”

I panic, “Should I get Jin?”

“No I’ve almost got it.”

A few minutes later you came out in leggings and a t-shirt, holding the hoodie, “Could you?”

You don’t have to finish the sentence before I start helping you again. “Let me get your hair.”

“Oh, you don’t have to.”

“Yes I do, come on.” I sit behind you on the bed running the brush through the soft strands. You seems very much on edge, with a far away look in your eye. After the conversation downstairs I can only assume you want to get out of here as fast as possible, “I know what you’re thinking, please don’t do anything rash. RM is just concerned for your safety, he has JK surveying your home in Busan right now to see if it has been compromised. If it’s all clear you can go without a worry.”

“They are?” You sound surprised and hopeful.

There was no need to dash your dreams right now. It was far more likely than not that our rivals were making their way to your home now to learn more about you.

“Please let us take care of this. It is what we are trained to do.”

“I can’t be watched over forever, I need my freedom.”

“Then let me train you, I’m one of the best fighters in the group. We will have to wait a while until your shoulder heals, but let me suggest it to RM.”

“You’ll train me in Busan?” You ask skeptically. I can tell that you are trying to gauge if my offer is just a ruse to convince you to stay.

Seeing the trap you’ve planted I step over it. “Wherever you end up I will train you.”

“Clever Hope.”

“Just staying honest.”

There’s a knock at the door followed by Suga’s voice, “Hey Spitfire, you ready?”

A/N : And that's it for this chapter... Who here guessed that the MC and Jin were childhood friends?! What did you think of Jimin's backstory? Next week you will get to read about Suga's past!

#bts under fire series #bts fanfic #bts gang au #bts x reader #bts fanfction #bts reader insert #kim namjoon x reader #namjoon x reader #rm x reader #kim seokjin x reader #seokjin x reader #jin x reader #jhope x reader #hobi x reader #jimin x reader #park jimin x reader #slight ot7 x reader

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100kindsofblake · 6 years ago

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Etiquette

Part 1: Introduction

Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Keeping it classy is your thing, your friends live their lives just a little differently.

Word Count: 1,835

Warnings: Cursing, bodily harm, suicide attempt, mention on suicide, depression, and PTSD. Please let me know if I miss anything!

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

—

Some call you spoiled, conceited, a brat, hell even egotistical. You wouldn’t necessarily use those words to describe yourself but whatever works. You like the term self-made but you could care less what others say.

It might be the way you carry yourself, posture at a T, head held straight and high, and your walk is always with grace.

Your appearance is always perfect, never a hair out of place. Always in heels, Louis Vuitton, Alexander Wang, Prada, Jimmy Choo, anything you can think of. Clothes tailored to fit just right and bring out your body in just right.

You are a world-renowned neurosurgeon, best there is in the world! Head chair of Neuro at Grady Hospital in Atlanta, Georgia. 4 doctoral degrees, 2 masters, and a bachelor. You can speak over 14 languages, certified in hand-to-hand combat, Jiu-Jitsu, Judo, Thai, and a certified black belt. You own a 12 bedroom, 12 full baths, 3 half bath, gym, pool, movie theater, huge living room and kitchen, 15 acres, 3 car garage with 3 very expensive cars to go in them. The house is solar powered, energy efficient, and with a smart home and highly intelligent security system to go with it. To sum up, you are indeed the shit.

Let's get one thing straight though, in no way were you narcissistic. You are a selfless person, half of your income goes to charities, environmental projects, house for the homeless, better educations, the whole nine yards.

That’s your life, you save lives at work and on your off days, you help rebuild them.

Your friends are the same way, Dr. Tony Stark; Billionaire of the world largest industries and security, Sam Wilson; world-renowned lawyer, he could talk his way into an all-women college just for the hell of it, Steve Rogers; the best cardiothoracic surgeon the world has ever seen, Dr. James “Bucky” Barnes; a Psychiatrist, for veterans, orphans, anyone who needs help, Barnes is the best, Thor Odinson; an excellent historian who knows almost everything, could even tell you the weather that day if you wanted to know, Natalia (Natasha) Romanova; a physical therapist for injured soldiers and anyone in general, Dr. Bruce Banner; the best scientist there is in Biochemistry, Nuclear Physics, and Gamma Radiation, Clint Barton; Olympic Archer, Colonel James “Rhodey” Rhodes; the title speaks for itself, an officer in the United States Air Force, and Wanda Maximoff; Ambassador for the government of Sokovia.

You all try to stay in touch, Sunday dinners to everyone who can make it, birthday parties, and holidays. You are all family, and family is the most important thing there is. That’s the life you live, every day, a routine you are happy to stick to.

______

“Dr. y/l/n to trauma 2. Dr. y/l/n to trauma 2.” The overhead speaker says, turn on your heels you make your way to the ER.

Walking in you grab a pair of gloves, “What do we have?”

“Bullett to the head, stuck in the skull.” A nurse responds

“Vitals?”

You let the nurses put on the trama wear on you as you read the chart

“ BP 160/100, Oxygenation 70, GCS is 10.”

“Do 100 mg per 5 mL of morphine, watch oxygen rate, it can't get any lower, call the anesthesiologist, get OR 1 prepped and take him down there. We are doing emergency surgery, make sure to contact the next of kin, and I need a more detailed background on him now!” You take everything off and make your way to the locker room to change and then the OR to scrub in.

____

After finishing the surgery and having to put the patient in a medically induced coma for the next 48 hours, you had to head to your office to finish some paperwork. An hour later into paperwork there is a knock at your office door, looking up you see one of your residents.

“Hey Conrad, what’s up? “ You stand up addressing him

“Here is the file you asked for on the gunshot wound head patient earlier.” He hands you the file smiling.

“Oh yeah, thank you, Conrad!” You return the smile and watch him walk out before sitting down.

After opening the file, you look through it carefully before sighing sadly. Sitting back you debate with yourself before grabbing your office phone and pulling out the contact log for the person you are looking for.

After quickly dialing the number, you wait for an answer.

After two rings someone picks up, “Dr. Barnes’ office, Julia speaking”

“Hey, Julia it’s Dr. y/n y/l/n from Grady Hospital in Atlanta Georgia. Is James in today?” You ask using your professional voice

“Hold please..”

You sigh against the phone, leaning back in your chair

“Dr. James Barnes.” A deep voice speaks which makes you pick up the phone.

“Hey Bucky, it’s y/n.”

“Hey! How are you? Are you okay?” You can tell he is smiling through the phone.

Chuckling, “Yeah, I’m okay... I have a patient here who needs you.”

There is a long pause before he speaks again, “How bad?”

This is the worst part of your job, but it has to be done.

“Attempted suicide, a gunshot wound to the head, I placed him into a coma.” You stop before continuing

“Bucky it’s worse, the bullet perpetrated the front left lobe and grazed the parietal lobes. He is going to lose the feeling in his right hand” All you hear is shuffling before he speaks again.

“Give me 5 hours.”

“You have 4.” With that, you hang up. You log on your computer sending him the file so he can review on his flight over here.

Looking at the clock you see it is five pm, you log off your computer, grabbing your jacket slipping it on, and then grabbing your work bag and purse with your keys and phone in hand.

You turn off the lights and lock the door to your office.

Getting to the main floor, you head to the garage before you hear someone calling your name. You turn around to see your assistant, Mike.

“Ma’am I need you to sign these” Mike pants, obvious to see him ran to catch up.

“Mike I thought I told you to take a half day, hmm.” You shift everything grabbing the pen before reviewing the documents.

“I was but then I realized I have no life so...” He laughs to himself, you sign the papers before handing back the pen.

“Mike go home right now before I fire you.” You sternly say.

He quickly nods before walking away. You just shake your head and head to the car.

___

You reach your house in no time, grabbing your things out the car and walking inside the house.

“Welcome home ma’am!” Your AI says.

“Hello Maze, can you please play me my voicemails?” Asking nicely as you walk through the house to set your work bag in your office that unlocks as you approach it.

“One voicemail from Sam Wilson;

“ Hey y/n, I sent you a file I need you to look at. I have a case down here in Florida, you know how Floridians are-” he laughs to himself “..anyways, he is pleading the insanity and if I could get you to consult on it that would be great and I promise you I'll buy that L’aurora Ruby Print Draped Tulle Dress you’ve had your eye on, even though I know you could buy it yourself.”

There is a long pause, as you make your way to your bedroom which unlocks and opens as you approach it. You start undressing, and remove the makeup from your face and get into the shower.

“Just review it and do the doctor shit that you do and send it back, I owe you. Thanks, love you!” The message ends

“Would you like to respond?”Maze asks

“Just tell him “I’ll do it, but you owe me that dress”

“Message sent. There are no more voicemail messages, is that all I can do for you?” The AI asks

“Yes, that’s all, thanks Maze!” You say even though you know she won’t respond.

You finish up your shower, french braid your hair from the scalp even though it still braided it reaches the middle of your back, you brush your teeth and clean up the bathroom before exiting.

Going downstairs and to the kitchen, you find something to cook since you know James will be here in 3 hours. Deciding on steak and vegetables, which should be done by the time he arrives.

____

Just after you clean the dishes, set the table, and place the food, the doorbell rings.

“Dr. Barnes is here ma’am, would you like to enter?” Maze asks

“Yeah let him through the gate and allow him through the door.” You say wiping your hands off

“Certainly ma’am.”

Soon after in walks, James Barnes himself trudging his suitcase behind him. You walk up to him to greet him as he takes his jacket off and places it on the rack.

“Hey Doll!” He smiles, embracing you in a big hug.

“Hi, Buck! How was the flight?” You ask barely breathing because of how tight the hug is.

“It was fine, you smell great by the way..” He says finally breaking the hug, he smiles down at you.

You just laugh and drag him to the dining room. You guys catch up while eating, mostly about work since that all you two ever do.

While cleaning up Bucky breaks the silence, “ I talked to Nat, about you know help the patient with PT in the result of him losing his hand. She wouldn’t mind, so you could just recommend her to his family.”

You debate with yourself before responding, “I rather him not lose it at all, but since no one can get in contact with his family we can’t sign off on the experimental surgery. He can’t sign off on it himself because he isn’t in the right state of mind. I just- I just want the best for him… Being a vet is already hard enough, and with PTSD and depression doesn’t make it any better.”

You face Bucky after drying the last dish, and he leans against the counter.

“If he clears the psychiatric test then you have nothing to worry about and he keeps his arm.” Bucky kisses the top of your head.

“Don’t worry we will figure it out Friday when he wakes up, right now I would like to sleep and so should you.” He grabs his things from the entryway.

You turn off the lights in the kitchen, “Buck do not move. I’m setting the alarm”

He stands still as you type on the system.

“Alarm setting. All windows: Locked. All doors: Locked. Motion Sensors: On. Activating bedtime mode. All Clear, Goodnight Ma’am and Dr. Barnes.” Maze announces

You both say goodnight and head to your rooms.

#Steve Rogers #Steve Rogers x Reader #Captain America #Avenger X Reader #Avengers #Marvel Cinematic Universe #MCU #Marvel #Bucky Barnes #james bucky barnes #The Winter Soldier #Modern AU #X Reader #X You #100kindsofblake #100kindsofblakefics #Etiquette #Etiquette Series #100kindsofblakemasterlist

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essaywriterspro-blog · 3 years ago

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Assessment on Leadership Strengths and Development Needs

Leadership: A Transferrable Skill - Part D Self-Reflected Summary of Current Leadership Strengths and Development Needs (16% of project grade) Employers are very interested in an applicant’s ‘people skills’ such as communication, interpersonal abilities, multi-culture sensibility, teamwork, and leadership. These are considered transferrable skills (applicable to any job, in any company, in any industry). Because your education/degree is generally proof of your technical skills, interviewers will generally ask a few, very direct questions (easily answered) about what you can actually do; and many, indirect and obtuse questions (harder to answer) about your people skills and personal attributes (integrity, dependability, etc.). Often these questions are direct, and ask you to state and explain your ‘strengths and weaknesses’ – so – the smart (and well-prepared) interviewee has already thought about how to answer this question. Overview of Individual Project Part D – Self-Reflected Summary The purpose of Part D is to assist you in not only answering the tough interview questions (what are your strengths and weaknesses) but in also phrasing your answers to highlight your leadership skills and abilities (a transferrable skill that every business organization needs). To this end, Part D consists of completing a final insight/self-assessment (located at the end of this document); taking a second look at your Part B and the previous fifteen (15) insight assessments; and then submitting a 2-4 page reflective summary of your leadership orientation, your 3 or 4 current leadership strengths, and your 2 or 3 leadership skills, abilities, and/or traits that you believe you need to further develop to become an effective leader. Explanation of Requirements and Evaluation Criteria for Part D 1. IMPORTANT – go back and re-read the twelve (12) reflective summaries you have submitted for the (15) insight assessments you should have completed for Part A (each insight was related to a different leadership competency and/or aspect of leadership) and the assessments and summary of your Part B (the summary was used to identify your current leadership strengths and development needs). 2. Then complete Insight 12.3 (located at the end of this document) assessment tool and reflect upon what it tells you about your leadership orientation and potential strengths-weaknesses as an effective leader. 3. Based upon all of your reflections, write a 2 - 4 page, double-line spaced summary in 12 pt. Times New Roman font, with the bolded title of Reflective Overview of My (meaning your) Leadership Skills and Abilities, followed by you name on the next line. Your summary should provide the reader (meaning the instructor) an overall picture/explanation of your current leadership strengths (3 or 4) and the areas/competencies you feel require further development (2 or 3). 4. Submit to appropriate drop box before the due date and time listed on the class schedule. NO LATE SUBMISSIONS accepted. The following criteria will be used for evaluation: Insight-2 Insight score: 4 correct, 6 incorrect C-15, H-17, A-14, R-14, I-11, S-15, M-13, A-16 I believe charisma is a thing that you are not born with, is just skills or abilities that everyone can develop. We all have a degree of charisma, and working to increase Charisma can help you to attract more positively. By knowing your strength and weakness on your charisma can help you in your entire life. Based on the result I got, I realized that I have some weaknesses in some points. for example, I thought that I have to worry most about current competitive issues. Also, I tend to persuade people by using logic. Now I realize that sometimes I have to persuade people emotionally because people can get persuade by emotion easily. However, logic doesn’t work with everyone. I think it is hard for me to persuade people by using emotion. One of my weaknesses is, that I prefer to communicate via a written report instead of just a one-page chart. I realized that written report has a lot of details and extra information that is not necessary to the person who I am communicating with. Also, I figured out that I have to increase in confidence. Because having confidence play a big role in charisma. But it is not easy to build your charisma. Nevertheless, I believe that I can develop these weaknesses to improve my charisma. On the other hands, I have some strength in some other points. those can help me to improve myself in my life and job. In my experience, living abroad forced me to build my charisma. however, I have to work on my strength and develop my weaknesses to build my charisma. Insight 4 Self-awareness:3 management awareness:2 social awareness:3 relationship awareness:3 Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize your emotions, understand what they are telling you. Also, understanding other people’s feeling and control both emotions. We all have different personalities, different needs and wants, and different ways to express our emotions. Based on the score I got, I figured out that I have some weaknesses in my emotional intelligence. Especially in management awareness, I need to build myself in that to move forward. By taking courses like Six Sigma and many other courses that related to management awareness can help to develop it. Also, learn how to have a strategy before I do my job and a clear plan for what am I going to do. All these ways can help me to build my management awareness. However, it is not easy to build and will take time. I had average scores of the types of emotional intelligent. But, if I want to be better I need to hit higher score and that will help me to get a better job. One of my goals is to develop my self-awareness because I think it is important to have high self-awareness. It encourages me to ask for honest feedback. I know that receiving feedback is hard. However, we all have traits the others see but we are unable to see in ourselves. By these things, I can develop myself in self-awareness. Insight 5 Score: 5 An effective team leadership has different traits and characteristics that encourage team members to follow him. Team leaders naturally have certain qualities, such as compassion and integrity, or learn leadership skills through formal training and experience. Based on the score I got, I figured out that I have to develop my effective team leadership. There are many ways to develop team leadership. I should have a clear vision and take a time to share the vision and goal with my team. Also, provide a clear path that team can follow. Include the team strategic planning sessions by asking the members for feedback. One of the skills that I have to improve is communication skill, by being. able to clearly and specifically communicate the vision, goal, skills, intentions, and expectations to others. Also, include your ability to listen to what other people are consciously or unconsciously communicating. To become a great communicator, continually strive to improve your verbal nonverbal and listening skills. One other skill that I have to improve is motivated others to greatness. Also, looking beyond the obvious and see others with insight and compassion. I have to be willing to admit and learn from failures and weaknesses. The most successful leaders know that key of success to learn from mistakes. Lastly, I will continue to educate and improve myself to be an effective leadership in every possible way. Insight 6 Independent thinking: 5 active engagement: Read the full article

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born2battle · 4 years ago

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My Reflections as Head Mistress of Army Public School (Junior Wing), Pune

This Blog is a sequel to the previous Blog and covers the period when myself and the children continued to stay in Pune for the purpose of higher education. Our innings in Pune commenced with a jubilant start in Jun 1996, when Ashvini got admission in Junior Wing of Fergusson College and Nandini & Aditya began to adapt to the new environment in Army Public School ( APS ), Pune. Even Vivek began his professionally enriching experience, as an important Staff Officer in HQ Southern Command. I was appointed as the Principal of AWWA Pre-Primary School. I was happy to take on this responsibility since I could devote time for the School activities as ANA were already grown up. Our tenure for the next two years was really memorable for each of us, as we learnt so much in our respective domain.

In Jun 1998, Vivek received his posting order to take up an instructional assignment at DSSC, Wellington. We felt happy as well as sad on receipt of this news. It was certainly an honour for Vivek, to be selected as an Instructor at the prestigious Staff College. However, we had to reconcile to the fact that the rest of us could not move to Wellington, since both Ashvini & Nandini were in 12th and 10th standard. It was therefore essential for us to remain in Pune to enable continuity for their Board Exams next year and subsequent College admissions. Thus, began my saga of another experience in Separated Family Accommodation ( SFA ) at Pune.

As a policy, SFA is allotted in case of postings either to a Field/ High Altitude area or in case of postings to a Peace Station, if the children are appearing for their Board Exams. In our case, we were entitled SFA under the second clause but had to shift out from our spacious Bungalow, after one month of Vivek's departure for Wellington. It was another exciting challenge which involved the packing, moving and unpacking of the entire baggage and finally setting up our new Home again. The transition was smooth due to the enthusiastic assistance by our children, who applied the concept of "Place for everything & everything in it's Place".Location of our new House in Ghorpadi was very convenient specially for me, since it was just opposite the AWWA Pre-Primary School.

Next year, HQ Southern Command decided to expand the Army Public School, Pune which conducted classes from Sixth to Twelfth standard only. Hence, there was an urgent need to establish a Primary Wing of APS, for students from First to Fifth standard. I was eager to take up this responsibility and hence applied for the post of Head Mistress of APS, Primary Wing. I was fortunate to be selected for launching this maiden venture. Our very first task was to prepare a Presentation about the utilisation of the existing building & resources of PT School (near Pune Race Course) and the proposed plan for converting it to the Junior Wing of APS. This involved planning and discussion with various agencies, under the able guidance of Mrs Meera Sain, who was the Principal of APS. We sought lot of valuable suggestions from the Management Committee and Major General incharge of Administration of HQ Southern Command. Finally, it was our privilege to give a detailed Presentation to the Army Commander, about the outline plan for this new Project which would benefit large number of students in Pune Cantonment. Consequent to his final approval, the renovation works by MES began on priority. Simultaneously, we were involved for selection of teachers and purchase of the school furniture and sports equipment. The newly appointed teachers were busy preparing the lesson plans for their subjects. It was a race against time in order to complete the Project within next two months. Eventually, the Junior Wing of APS was fully functional in Apr 1998.

The First Academic Year commenced with just one Section each from First to Fifth standard and the total strength was only in double digits. As the strength increased gradually due to new admissions, we created additional classrooms in the adjacent building. The innovative teaching methods adopted by our team of dedicated teachers created an ideal learning environment. We conducted a variety of indoor & outdoor activities, celebrated all the festivals and organised a variety of competitions, which were appreciated by all the children and the parents. My schedule was indeed hectic from 8 AM to 5 PM daily. However, when I returned Home, I had the satisfaction that I managed to find solutions to all the challenges, to the best of my ability and utmost of my capacity, under constant guidance and encouragement by Mrs Meera Sain.

In Dasera vacation, myself along with Ashvini & Aditya went for our first visit to Wellington. Nandini could not accompany in view of her preparations for the Board Exam and the responsibility to take care of my mother-in-law who was staying with us. Our short vacation in Wellington was a refreshing break as we stayed in the DSSC Officers Mess, savoring a variety of meals, without bothering about planning the menu and cooking in our ad-hoc kitchen. We have fond memories of our short trips to Coonoor and Ooty --- the Queen of hill stations in the Nilgiris. As we left Wellington after a rejuvenating vacation in the pristine environment, we looked forward to returning during the summer vacation. We carried with us vivid memories of the aerial view of the Staff College!!

At the end of the year, Vivek was detailed as a part of the Team of Instructors from Wellington, for imparting Tactical training to Technical Staff College Course which was being conducted at Institute of Armament Technology, Pune. This gave us an opportunity to stay together as a family for the next two months. It was a proud achievement when we conducted our first Annual Day, with enthusiastic participation by our talented children. It was so heartening to witness the energy levels and the confidence displayed, in each performance on the big stage in the Auditorium. I treasured these moments with the children, which were possible only due to the dedication of our teachers.

Finally, we bid farewell to the students of the Fifth Standard who moved on to the Senior Wing of APS. In the summer vacation, we had to plan and supervise the expansion of the infrastructure and appoint new teachers, in view of the expected increase in the strength of students. Thus, there was never a dull moment since I believed that there was always a scope for improvement.

We went to Wellington once again during the summer vacation. This time we refreshed previous memories by spending time in the Staff College Library, shopping in Coonoor market and enjoying various sports in Wellington Gymkhana Club. In addition, we visited several other tourist spots nearby before finally visiting Mysore & Bangalore. Consequent to another memorable holiday, we returned from Bangalore, fully recharged to continue our busy schedule in Pune.

My responsibilities expanded consequent to the expansion of the Junior Wing. I was so happy to contribute as the vital link between the Teachers , the Parents and the Management Committee. On the home front, I decided to devote greater attention towards Nandini's final preparations. On completion of her Board Exams, she appeared in various Entrance Exams in order to keep her options open. It was a huge task to obtain & submit various documents such as Admission Forms, Domicile Certificate, Defence Quota Certificate, Dependency Certificate etc. It was possible only due to the assistance provided by our colleagues and friends from the Army family. In case of any problem or any decision making situation, I would often contact Vivek telephonically, seeking his advice before choosing our next course of action. His typical response was ---" You are the best judge. You take the decision. Just don't worry". We felt so assured with his confidence and composure in any crisis. Finally, we were extremely delighted when Nandini secured admission in Cummins College of Engineering, Pune.

Simultaneously, we had to face the challenge of vacating our accommodation in Ghorpadi since the SFA was allotted only till the completion of Board Exams. The search for another house continued till we managed to hire a house in AWHO Colony in Salunke Vihar. It was yet another enjoyable experience of packing,moving & unpacking, as per the Standard Operating Procedure, after which we settled down in our fourth house in Pune, within four years --- without taking the help of "Packers & Movers"!! Obviously, it was possible due to the confidence that I developed over 20 years of Fauji life and valuable experience gained in each of our postings. In Jun 2000, Vivek came to Pune for availing part of Annual Leave. During the leave period, we were really excited to receive the good news about his approval for promotion as a Brigadier.

In view of our anticipated posting, I submitted my resignation to the Management Committee of APS so that my successor could be appointed to take over my responsibilities. I had to take this decision with a heavy heart especially since I had nurtured the Junior Wing for two years, resulting in a strength of 600 students at the time of my departure. Finally, it was a touching moment when I was given an emotional farewell while I bid adieu to my team of teachers & the children of the Junior Wing. I still cherish the fond memories of my challenging tenure, at the helm of affairs in the Junior Wing of Army Public School. I felt blessed that I got this opportunity to achieve my dream as an educationist.

Thereafter, myself and Nandini went for a short trip to Wellington, since she could not come with us on earlier occasions. Ashvini & Aditya held the fort in Pune. It was a coincidence that soon after our arrival in Staff College, Vivek received his Posting Order to take charge in his new appointment, as Commander 27 Mountain Artillery Brigade located at Pathankot. This news certainly enhanced the joy of our well deserved break in the salubrious environment of the Nilgiris. We were privileged to be present for his promotion party, in the traditional style of Staff College. During our return journey from Coimbatore to Pune, we enjoyed discussing about our future plans and preparations for yet another journey across the country. We were aware of the uncertainty that we may not be able to go to Pathankot initially, since it was a temporary location in a Field Area. Yet we looked forward eagerly to our move whenever the Artillery Brigade would move back to it's permanent location in Bagrakot!!

#Indian Army

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internetguideforhighschoolers · 4 years ago

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4: Educating Via the Internet and Online Classes Pt. 2

Last time we talked about learning via the internet, but this blog will shift directions slightly and talk more in depth about educating via the internet and online classes.

When I was in high school they talked to us about what jobs we would be good at, what colleges may be a good match for us education-wise and financial-wise, what classes we need to take in high school to prepare for college, and how to apply to college. They never discussed what college would actually be like, so I want to give a little information on what my experience was like. Please keep in mind every college, every student, every major, and every experience will be different, but this will maybe keep you from going in blind.

Traditionally, in lecture you sit in a large lecture hall, full of students. Depending on the size of your major and your college this can range from 20 students to 300+ students. Some larger classes have discussion or lab sections where you have a smaller group of people to work with and ask questions to your TA, teaching assistant. These lectures are different from high school. Some professors don’t require attendance because it can be difficult to track who attended and who didn’t. It is up to you to attend the lecture ready to learn. Some professors are strict and will penalize you for using your phone in class, but a lot of them simply do not have the time to yell at all the students. It is up to you to be respectful of other students by not being a distraction by using your phone or being noisy and also respectful of your professor by taking them seriously when attending their class.

Professors often talk about how students today are distracted. We can’t seem to put our phones down, and we get easily distracted. Many students use their laptops in lectures for taking notes and then get sidetracked with online shopping or something else. Would it surprise you to know that professors have been complaining about their students being distracted since before cellphones and the internet were invented? They used to complain about us reading the newspaper in class or even going to the bathroom too many times.

One big thing you should take away from this blog is that people like to complain about the same things throughout history.

Some people think that learning on your own terms can help reduce distractions since you are not in a lecture hall with 100s of other students doing their own things.

There are also many other issues that college students face. Tuition and attending college is expensive, but you can usually find that out before you apply. However, something that surprises a lot of first year students is the cost of supplies and textbooks specifically. In high school they had us borrow textbooks. In college you usually have to rent or buy them.

Activity: Think about the books you use in your high school classes. Consider the textbooks for science, history, and math. Consider what books you read in English. Do your electives require textbooks? Consider if you took a history or science class on a college campus. How much do you think one textbook costs?

Textbooks can easily cost up to $200 or $300 or more for one textbook.

Was that shocking? Some are definitely cheaper and you can usually find options for pricing, but it isn’t abnormal to spend a few hundred dollars a semester on textbooks alone.

Most classes in college require a textbook, sometimes more than one. Although this can depend on your major. Art classes usually require less textbooks, but art students must also buy their art supplies. More hands on majors will usually require less textbooks, but you still usually need to take general education credits in college that require them.

Another thing to note about in person classes is that by design they are synchronous, and remember our discussion last time about why asynchronous might be better.

So how are online classes combating issues that college students face?

Online classes, like we discussed, are often asynchronous, but not always. This allows students to work alone and on their own time. It is easier for them to be productive and in charge of their distractions.

Ebooks are often more accessible in online classes because you are not physically going anywhere, so you don’t need a physical textbook. Ebooks are often cheaper because you don’t need to pay for paper and ink to print them.

Online classes that are made to be online, instead of in person classes that were forced to be held online because of the pandemic, often have a different structure and assessment style. Exams during in person classes are proctored and taken very seriously. This is difficult to do online, and there is heavy debate about using online proctoring software that records students in their homes. Also, a lot of college classes have a handful of exams (usually 2-4) throughout the semester and maybe one other smaller assignment that make up your grade. This means if you miss an exam or do poorly on one, it can often be difficult to bring your grade up. Instead many online classes move away from this and towards an assessment style that encourages engagement with the material throughout the semester via smaller assignments. This is less stressful for students because missing one assignment is not that big of a deal compared to missing an exam.

Also, this assessment style change allows for a more flexible late work policy from professors. A lot of professors in college won’t accept late work or a missed exam without reasonable and documented excuse, like an hospitalization or significant family emergency. It is always worth communicating with your professor because many of them are willing to work with you, but when you have 200+ students, it is hard to proctor another exam. Online classes are less likely to have this problem and it is easier for an instructor to grade a 200 word assignment late than it is for them to make and proctor another exam.

Many online classes also allow you to work ahead to increase flexibility and minimize the need that you have to turn something in late. If you know you will have a busy week with projects and exams, you can work ahead in your online classes to make if so you don’t have to worry about them for that week.

These are just a handful of reasons why online classes are convenient and combating the issues many college students are currently facing.

Online classes are not without flaws though. Students need to be more self-disciplined to keep up with the work because you need to watch lectures on your own time. It can help to develop a routine to make sure you are on pace. You also don’t get as much social interaction, which can be hard on students. Another issue is cheating. If it is unfair to proctor exams online, how do you ensure no one is cheating and that the exams are fair?

Education is constantly changing and adapting to students’ needs. Sometimes that change is slow or frustrating, but good things can often come of it.

I would highly recommend trying an online class when you get to college. If you take an asynchronous one, you may often feel like you have more time because you get to choose when to work on it. I felt that way. Hopefully this blog makes you feel more at ease in online classes.

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coffee-for-himchan · 8 years ago

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I Think I Can Forgive You (Jongup mafia/gang AU pt.3)

Word count: 4.3 k+ (a short one right there)

Genre/warnings: Mafia/ gang AU (Literally no warnings this time around. No violence, (hopefully) no swear words. This chapter is just a fluffy reunion)

Summary: He’d saved you, and was now standing on the edge of nowhere. You had all the rights to be mad at him. To be disgusted by the mere sight of his face, and to despise him to the last bone. Yet he wanted nothing more than to simply experience only the comfort your caring touch and loving remarks could provide. For the first time in his life, he decided to act differently - to not forcefully keep you around, but to willingly let you go. Because, after all, if you truly loved him and would be able to forgive him, you would eventually find your way back into his arms.

(A/N) Hey, the final part is finally here! I posted two parts in a day, so make sure you read part two first before reading this one! Hope you enjoy this one just as much as anything else I’ve written, and, if you haven’t done so already, check out my other mafia/gang-themed stories - at this point I have a decent amount of them, and there’s going to be more in the nearest future.

THIS IS PART 3 // PART 1 CAN BE FOUND HERE // PART 2 IS HERE

It didn’t take too long to end this. B.A.P was “The King” for a reason, after all, and soon the scenery was cleared. Before the police sirens could reach them, the six guys re-united into formation and left the scene, as if nothing had happened.

One of the six carrying a tiny, shivering frame in his arms, holding onto it as if it meant the whole world to him.

You weren’t quite aware of your surroundings at that point anymore, as nothing quite mattered. Your head felt heavy, and you simply struggled to keep your eyes open. He carried you all the way back to the base, refusing to let anyone help him even though the way back was quite long and he was exhausted, physically and emotionally. He made sure you were alright, warming you up, making you comfortable, and staying by your side, saying his first ever prayer to God that you would be alright.

And, being a little selfish, praying you would come back to him as well.

It was Himchan who you saw first the next morning. He didn’t need to introduce himself, as you’d seen him around. The base seemed to be otherwise empty, and you wondered where Jongup had gone to, but didn’t dare to ask. You were still too hurt and too afraid of him.

“I’ve arranged a few things,” Himchan told you, sitting down on the bed beside you, “And it should be enough for now.”

He gave you two keys - one for a car, and another one for an apartment. He gave you a job contract and a few documents regarding your education that he assured were accurate to your abilities. He gave you enough money to survive for the nearest future, and told you not to hesitate in case you wanted to contact him or any of the other guys about anything.

You stared at him in disbelief. Not because of the amount of ties he had with different types of people, and how fast he could settle things others couldn’t get done in months, but because he actually let you off. He’d just built you a life in less than a few hours, and simply let you off as if nothing had happened.

“And.. Jongup-ah?”

“I think he’s going to need some time,” Himchan explained, looking you in the eyes.

“Don’t get me wrong - I’m not saying he did the right thing for toying around with you like he did when you had memory loss, and I’m not defending him, as none of us are completely good guys who always act according to morals, but.. He truly loves you, the way he’s never loved anyone before. I could tell you all about him - how his family died, and how he got forced to be a part of a gang. How he betrayed them afterwards for ruining his life, and how I took him in, hoping to somehow be able to mend his pain, and succeeding to some extents. How he lost his brother just a little while ago, and many other things.. He’s been though more than simply “a lot”, and I’m not trying to make you pity him or anything, because pity is the thing he hates the most anyways. Just know he may have a few screws missing, but that’s only because life had been harsh to him, not sparing any of the people who truly mattered to him. His heart, when needed, is still in the right place. And he simply wanted to keep you by his side and keep you safe this whole time.”

Before you knew it, you were dropped off at the new place by no other than Himchan. Yongguk had joined along to help sort the last things out, but there was no sight of the other four. You glanced up at the two men unpacking a few things from boxes and setting the contents of those up, as well as taking calls and planning out the rest of the things you would still need. Maybe it was because these two were the only ones who could truly be considered men, the other four simply still being little boys at heart. You almost caught yourself smiling at the thought of Jae and Dae fighting over who will carry what box, and Junhong standing in the middle of this mess quietly, patiently waiting for any orders from Bang before moving. And Jongup, stealing kisses every time he passed by, being the last addition that really made this place seem like home.

Not. That had been a lie, and it will forever be. It was in the past.

By afternoon you had a new life set up for you completely. Himchan and Yongguk left at around four, saying their goodbyes as if they were seeing you for the last time in their lives. Which, at this point, was a possibility that could happen.

“It’s up to you to decide what you’re going to do now,” Himchan told you right before leaving, having Yongguk nod at each and single one of his statements, “All of this is yours now, without any consequences or anything. Let this be a gift, we’re quite nice actually, if we want to be. As for Jongup..”

He trailed off, knowing this was a hard topic for everybody. You didn’t know where Jongup was or what he was doing at that moment, but you would’ve never guessed he was still sitting at the base, without a place to go back to now, his face buried deep in his hands as he tried to hold in the mixture of frustration and sorrow. You weren’t aware of how much he regretted all he did, and you didn’t know how he simply wished none of this had ever happened.

Not because he was immensely hurting now - he didn’t quite care about that. Because you were.

“He will always be waiting, you know,” Himchan smiled sadly, knowing he could talk on and on for ages about it, but it would be still up to you to decide if you ever wanted to see him again, “But he won’t be coming after you himself. If you ever feel like you’ll be able to forgive him.. Even if not fully, but at least to some extent..”

“He would love to see you again. You’re the only person he’ll be waiting for,” Yongguk finished it for Himchan, making him sigh in relief a little. Good thing Yongguk knew how to cut Himchan’s long, emotional speeches off at the right moment.

At first you decided to sleep it off, because you were still so tired, which lead to you waking up at 3 AM and not being able to fall asleep again. Strolling through the still unfamiliar apartment, you found yourself slightly shivering and sneezing. The cold from yesterday had really done it’s thing, but Himchan was aware of that, and had already arranged a doctor’s visit for the next morning for you, so you figured you had nothing to worry about.

Sitting in the kitchen and sipping of tea, you couldn’t help but let your mind wander back to Jongup.

He would’ve be right there, by your side - that is, if none of this had ever happened. His eyes would be falling shut, and you’d chuckle softly, telling him to go to bed and sleep it out. But he would insist, wrapping his arms around your waist and leaning his head against yours, not letting you have any type of negative thoughts at such a late hour, cutting his precious sleep short in order to stay up with you. He would make sure you were alright before doing anything else, and you would thank all of the higher forces that made you end up with him at some point.

How comes you kept thinking that it would’ve been better to never remember and simply continue living a lie?

After all, the incident had only sparked your memories of the first time you saw him - the time you were simply going back from a family gathering, and happened to stumble upon the wrong people at the wrong time. He could’ve gotten hurt, and he had absolutely no need to save you back then. But, for some reason, he still did. You remember feeling scared by how sharp his aim was, and a little disgusted by the fact he enjoyed dropping bodies to the floor, but.. His chest seemed like such a safe place, and you also recalled clinging onto him. Not begging him for help or anything, but still receiving some.

It all came back to you - all of those moments spent together, and suddenly you realized he hadn’t done a single bad thing to harm you during this whole time. He was super sweet and patient. Awkwardly cute. A little out of this world, and you’d constantly tease him about it, but he knew you loved it nonetheless.

He let you take your time. Made sure you were comfortable with everything before doing it. Always put himself out there to a hundred percent, and each day loved you just the way you craved to be loved. He had no issues changing up paces, and would never complain if you wanted to take a different approach than he did.

The thought of him left you crying in the middle of the night in the kitchen, as he hadn’t done anything bad or wrong. Except of lying to you, and not telling you he was a cold-blooded gang member and killer instead of the guy next door you always thought he was. And you wondered - should you really trust yourself with all of these thoughts you were having?

After all, the background information might have been fake, but his love for you wasn’t. And neither was your love for him.

Unlike the flowers in the vase that was placed on the kitchen table in front of you, your feelings for him wouldn’t wilt. He’d made his existence in your heart and soul way too vivid and too permanent. You knew all of this was for the better - he wasn’t worth it, probably. Wasn’t worth the pain and the doubts. Yet you knew you wouldn’t be able to fully let him go, no matter how much time passed.

He’d told you that you’d forever be his babygirl, and there was no point in lying and saying he wouldn’t always remain your Jongup-ah.

Days passed, and Jongup kept staying at the base. He had no intentions or desire to move or do anything, as the only reason he kept going on had seemingly faded away from his life completely. Himchan would nag and poke at him, but eventually realize it was completely useless. They had a hard time at first, dealing with different unpleasant situations without Jongup present, but Himchan knew better than to hurry him and his emotional healing up. Whenever one of the guys gave a piece of their minds on how they were out there, risking their lives while Jongup was at the base, doing nothing but staring at the ceiling, Himchan would always shut them up. He knew all Jongup needed was time, and was willing to give all of it to him so he could properly recover.

It took three months.

Jongup sighed, hearing a knock at his door. This new place Youngjae had found seemed to be just a little smaller than his old one, and was located in a quite nice, little, but most of all - quiet - neighborhood, but it still didn’t seem like it could ever become a place he could consider calling “home”. It was a place the guys had forcefully got him to live in, since his constant presence at the base had become a little irritating, and he hated the fact he was made to come and stay here by the others, but he knew they were right. It looks like it was about time to move on.

He ran a hand through his hair, quickly glancing at himself in the nearby mirror before going to answer the door. His hair had sure grown out a little, and even though he’d cut it again recently, he hadn’t dyed it again, and wasn’t completely sure if he liked this black-roots aesthetic that he had going on now. But hey - maybe this was a sign as well. Maybe when all the jet blue hair would grow out and he’d cut it all off, he’d be able to let go of the fact he’d be left with boring, natural black again.

Maybe you’d slowly “grow your way out” of his heart as well, although he doubted it more and more every passing second. It was absurd comparing his love for you with a hair color. He could dye his hair all he wants to, but he couldn’t get you back that easy. You had to eventually come around yourself if you wanted to.

He rolled up his sleeves, not bothering to take a look at who was standing on the other side of the door. In his line of work, that was a quite dangerous thing to do, but he could care less. No one knew he was here anyways, at this point, at least. So, this was probably either Himchan or Youngjae, as they had both turned into some type of personal psychiatrists over the last months, irritating Jongup slightly with their never ending question and worry, but making him glad someone cared.

He opened the door right as he heard something falling and hitting the ground behind him, making him direct his stare at the box that had just crashed onto the floor. Too bad he’d gotten a load of new things for the apartment earlier this morning, and had spent most of the day unpacking them and setting them up. Praying that wasn’t one of the lamps, he slowly turned his head back to the slightly opened door, just to be met with a pair of the most beautiful eyes in the universe.

All of his senses left his body for a second, making him paralyzed and unable to breathe or move. His eyes watched the ones in front of him in disbelief, remembering the last time he saw the same sight in front of him. Except then the only thing those eyes displayed was utter fear and confusion, as well as deep hurt and sadness, completely opposite from the emotions displayed in them now.

“Hey, Jongup-ah..”

Jongup-ah. His thoughts kept screaming at him that he had to respond, but he was simply unable to do so. You were right there in front of him, at a distance he could reach and touch you with ease, without even stretching his arm out fully. So what was it that made him stay in place and kept him from basically throwing himself at you?

“H-hey.. B-babyg-.. I mean, (Y/N)..”

You smiled warmly at him, recognizing this sight from somewhere. It didn’t take you long to remember the day you saw him at the hospital, with the same plaid shirt hanging around his frame and making him look like he was straight out of a magazine, even though the clothing item itself was so ordinary it hurt - he just somehow knew how to make it look amazing on him. His stare was just as confused and lost as the first time you locked eyes with him, and, just the same as then, he was clueless on what to do. Except this time around he wasn’t this lost and nervous because he had to tell a perfect lie, no. This time around he was seemingly given a chance to fix up his lies and mistakes, and he patiently stood there, waiting for any further events or actions.

“I heard you had gotten a new place..” you said, looking away shyly and scratching the back of your head as he watched you, completely astonished by the fact you’d managed to forgive him enough to at least come and say a few words to his face.

“Yeah, I couldn’t quite stay in the old one, sadly.. It’s been ruined beyond belief as well, so there was no point in trying to keep it anyways.” Only now you noticed how he’d changed over this short amount of time. How he looked the way he really was - as if life had taken him in first, giving him a nice and warm place to stay at before throwing him out on the street without anything left, breaking a few of his bones in the process and telling him there was no one ever who could love him, because he was a monster. His face displayed utter tiredness - the one you couldn’t simply sleep off, and for some reason he seemed to have become more buff as well. Little did you know that the only thing keeping him from throwing tantrums on most evenings or crying himself to sleep were physical activities.

“You’d been there since then?”

“Only once. I wanted to pick up a few things,” he said, feeling his voice cracking mid-sentence a little, “Some paperwork that I needed. There was still a gun or two around, one of them being my father’s old one - a valued possession in my family.. There were still some of our pictures on the walls, I couldn’t leave them there either..”

It was another moment in time, where you considered if he’d break down or not. Figuring out he wouldn’t, you still thought his face displayed more than well the fact he wanted to do it so badly - to let shaky sobs escape him while he, himself, clung onto your frame desperately, pleading you not to leave. Making sure you wouldn’t slip away again.

“What happened to “babygirl”, by the way? Didn’t you say I’ll always be your babygirl?” you saw him running his fingers through his hair once again, tilting his head up not to let a tear slip.

Nothing had happened to her, as she was right there. Standing in front of him, and giving him a clear chance. A chance to let her know.

“Babygirl, I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done.” // “Jongup-ah, it’s okay. I think I can forgive you.”

Those two sentences left your mouths simultaneously, and left both of you a little shocked. You’d kind of expected to hear something among those lines from him, but he didn’t think he’d ever hear those words escape your mouth ever again, so when he did, he didn’t know how to react.

“Say that again.”

“I think I can forgive you,” you quietly announced, starting to feel a little awkward. He was still so hesitant about this, and you knew his reasons. He had hurt you badly, and made sure you came back to him by yourself. He made sure he wasn’t getting in your way on purpose or putting pressure on you, and made sure to give you tons of space. He stayed away, and waited, knowing if you’d forgive him you’d come and find him yourself, and if not, you’d lead a happy life somewhere else, without having destruction itself by your side to keep you company in the evenings. He was okay with anything you chose. As long as it made you happy.

The tear slipped, leaving a trail behind as it slowly slid down his cheek, and you hesitantly lifted your hand up a bit, flinching a little as you carefully wiped it away because of how hot his skin seemed against your cold hand. Letting your hand rest there, you waited. Not knowing if it was appropriate to do anything else yet, but hoping he’d take the initiative soon enough.

“B-babygirl,” he quietly muttered before leaning down a little, wrapping his arms tightly around you and burying his face in the crook of your neck. You’d noticed that you both had been standing right in the middle of the doorway only when he pulled you inside his home fully, letting the door shut behind you itself. If it was for any other occasion, you’d tell him to take it easier on you, as his grip had always seemed rather firm and a little too bone-crushing, his recent routine of training not helping to solve that issue at all, but this time around you didn’t mind. You knew he needed this badly.

You felt yourself being pinned back against the door, and lifted your head up a little, poking at his ear with you nose as he refused to show his face to you, keeping it buried in your soft skin. There were more tears coming out of him, you were certain - if the few constant shaky sobs weren’t enough of an indicator, the feeling of something wet hitting you collarbone every once in a while was.

“Jongup-ah, take it easy,” you cooed at him, holding him by the waist with one arm while your other hand trailed up to be gently placed on the back of his head, “It’s alright, do you hear?”

And he did a told, just as always when the commands came from you. It took him some time to collect himself, but when he did and finally managed to look up at you, his eyes showed relief, and the smile displayed on his face indicated that the burden he’d been carrying for so long now had finally been taken off of his shoulders.

“I’ve become so emotional recently, I don’t even know why,” he chuckled a little, making you chuckle as well, knowing he’d finally let the situation sink in, “Or rather, I don’t know what to do about it. I just keep on crying.”

“Just don’t show it to the guys, they might tease you about it,” you told him, poking his nose with yours and making him smile a little wider.

“Let this be our secret, okay?”

“Okay,” you answered before feeling it was the right moment to show him to what extent he was forgiven.

The moment you kissed him, you remembered why you decided to show up here in first place. Why you decided to go and see him, heading down to his old apartment first just to find out he hadn’t been there since that faithful night anymore. Why you decided to contact Himchan in order to ask him where Jongup was, and why, despite all of your sane thoughts that kept screaming at you to turn and run away, you ended up here. In his arms, with his mouth on yours yet again.

He was far from being a good guy. He wasn’t all that emotionally stable, which is exactly the thing that made him so dangerous. He had lied to you, more than you could’ve ever imagined, and you knew all of that.

But he had loved you as well, and would always do so. He’d saved you to begin with, and did it a few more times in the process. He kept you safe and well. He took care of you and let you be the only person to see him the way he truly was - without any additional fakery or facades around him.

He let you see the true Jongup-ah you had fallen in love with, and the one, no matter who he was and what he did, you wanted to have by your side. Forever.

“I’ll make it all up,” he said in between kisses, making you chuckle, “I really will. I don’t know how you can even fix something like this up, but I will find a way. Babygirl, I’ll make you believe me again. I’ll prove myself to the fact I won’t ever lie to you again-”

“One step at a time,” you cut him off with another sweet kiss, holding his face close to yours after your lips parted again, “Let’s start off slow and easy, okay?”

“Take a rest, Jongup-ah, and don’t break your head over sorting everything out all at once. Your mind has been running circles recently and it isn’t going to be good for your health or well-being.”

“But I have to make you trust me first,” he said, looking at your smiling face with eyes that displayed seriousness, “Otherwise I won’t be able to function properly because you’ll still think that all I ever told you was lies.”

“I have my reasons to assume that, you know. My mind was telling me to let you go, but my heart refused. And you know why?” you smiled a little more as you saw him shaking his head in disapproval, as he felt like there wasn’t anything about him special enough for you to come back to him.

“There might still be many aspects I don’t know about. Many things I have no clue of, or am uncertain about. But two things I know for sure - one being the fact that you love me with all of your fucked up heart,” Jongup couldn’t suppress the chuckle that escaped him after hearing you say it out loud. Himchan, that bastard. He must’ve told you.

“And what about the other?”

“The other thing I know for sure it that despite everything, my feelings for you are true as well, because you made me develop them right there and then over our short amount of time spent together. They’re memories that weren’t simply told to me and that I had to believe, but memories I gathered myself along the way. You made me fall in love with you, Jongup-ah. By deeds and not untrue statements and words without meaning.”

“..And, through everything that will still come out way, let me stay by your side and simply help me remember. All of the wrong turns so we won’t ever take another one.”

That night he returned to the base, just to pick up a few personal belongings he wanted to have at home rather than there. No one besides Himchan seemed to be there, and, as he saw Jongup just casually picking up his things and leaving instead of trying to mend his pain and anger with physical activities or trainings to get better at his aim, he questioned him about it. But there was no need to do so, as it was already written all across his face. All noticeable in the way he smiled truly for the first time in months - smiled as if the world was nothing but a playground, and he was a little kid, left unattended by his parents and, even though in danged of hurting himself at every obstacle, still climbed everywhere and simply had a lot of fun. Living it to the fullest.

“She’s back, Himchan hyung. She’s back.”

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lemonjoonah · 7 years ago

Text

Under Fire - Pt 6

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Title: Under Fire Word Count: 4K+ Rating: M Genre: Gang AU, Drama Warnings: Violence, Discussion of Depression Pairings: Hyung Line x Reader (Primarily Namjoon x Reader), very slight OT7 x Reader. Pairings (in this chapter): Namjoon x Reader, Jin x Reader

A/N: You finally get some answers you may have been looking for. There’s a lot of heavy backstory in this chapter so be prepared.

Chapter 6 - Inherent Duality

POV (Y/N)

“I honestly don’t know where to fucking start.” Your rage is barely contained behind your words.

“Allow me.” V offers. “What the hell was that JK?! Do you not know a screenshot when you see one? (Y/N) knew something was off and she couldn’t even see the footage.”

“I’m sorry V I wasn’t expecting it.”

“Wasn’t expecting it?! If they had any intention of killing us, we would be dead right now.”

You are still ruminating over what to ask first as V exhausts himself from yelling. Would they even give you a truthful answer to your questions? Did your mother really die at the hands of a gang? They keep sending you nervous glances, expecting you to go off on them at any moment. You hold your tongue, making them suffer in apprehension.

“(Y/N), we were...” Jimin looks as if he’s about to repeat his earlier sentiment.

“Save it, you had your chance. Unless you are going to explain it all to me now, save your apologies. I don’t want them.” You answer coldly.

No one speaks up.

When you reach the apartment, you jump out of the car the second it stops. JK appears in the doorway blocking your path in. “Is RM back yet?” You ask shortly.

JK shakes his head.

“I want to know the second he comes in the door.”

You take the earpiece out, placing it in JK’s hand as you brush past him. Jimin makes an attempt to follow you but V places a hand on his shoulder. You hurry up to your room locking the door behind you. There’s a laptop on the desk, you assume for your own use. Taking it over to the bed you bury yourself beneath the covers. You log on to your server, from an offsite route. Authorizing your access with the thumbprint on your phone.

Info regarding the police records for Seoul would be difficult to obtain, your own connection didn’t reach that far. JK’s server suddenly becomes visible on your computer. Gaining access should be more difficult, he must be granting you passage. Luckily for you he has back ups of all of the police files in Seoul.

You narrow the date range and area. Finding only a small initial report on the accident, no additional findings, no follow up investigation, nothing. You widen the parameters, but the results are still dry. You are almost ready to give up when a message pops up with an attachment.

JK- RM just sent me this. He’s not back yet, but he said you might find it informative...

You click the icon hands shaking. The full investigation unravels before you under the label of homicide. It was true then, someone had taken her from you, someone had intentionally caused your family’s suffering.

You continue to read the file, your former and current name appears.

...Park (Y/N) has been placed under the care of (L/N) Miran, her mother’s sister. She will be serving as her guardian, as it is believed that she might be targeted in the future. All official records such as birth, medical, and school records have been redacted and placed under the trust of their legal representation. Mr. Park as been an asset in paying for the removal of any media articles and pictures of Park (Y/N). In addition Park will no longer reference his daughter in public and any visits between the two will take place in a location outside of Korea...

No wonder no one knew about you, even the police files had been redacted to protect your identity. You had always thought that your father kept his distance because he missed your mother, that being around you was too painful. You had not expected that he was just trying to hide you. But why? Why would they threaten your father with the lives of his family? It is clear that the police had never found the responsible party.

Instead they must have felt it was best to leave you in Busan with your Aunt. She was somewhat estranged from your mother’s family, not even go to your parents wedding. Leaving her to be the perfect guardian for your special case, a secluded blood relative. She had died of cancer two years ago. You remember her funeral well, just you and a few of her work colleges. You were furious at your father for not attending, but now you understood why. Even after Aunt Miran’s death you father never brought you home, electing to take you on trips outside of the country.

You were and still are surrounded by people who had lied to protect you. You couldn’t handle it anymore. Secrets weren’t a form of safety, but a prison. When would people understand that?

You spend several hours looking through files for similar cases, aiming to find any clue as to who was responsible. You groan in despair from your fruitless search and the agony of your shoulder.

Information about your mother is your priority, but what Suho had said about Jin still lingers at the back of your mind. You are continuing your search through the server when you spot a list of files for each member. You click on Jin’s but all that comes up is a window demanding a password. Another messenger window opens.

JK- I can’t give you access to that. I’m sorry.

(Y/N)- Why not?

JK- That’s Jin’s private file. Information is a two way street, talk to him and he’ll talk to you... Speaking of which let me on your server, you’ve looked through mine for hours.

An access authorization request comes up on your phone, you deny it.

(Y/N)- I need to clean it up first, get rid of a few personal things.

JK- PLEASE! I’ll be careful.

(Y/N)- Be patient or someone might tell Jin that you have a stash of pirated porn on the server.

JK- ...Take all the time you need...

You hear whispers outside of you door. In this world you are so fragile everyone thinks it best to handle you with pair of gloves and speak in hushed tones. To be fair they are somewhat right, you didn’t know how to deal with the constant threats. You had almost put V in the same position your father was in two days before. He died because you were there, Namjoon’s words cut deeply then, but now they are even more painful.

Before learning of your existence they thought that a chunk of the fortune would make its way to Namjoon, maybe that would be for the best. You finally emerge from the covers of the bed and open the door surprising both V and Jimin who are responsible for the whispering.

“Is he back yet?”

Jimin nods his head, “In his room on the other side of the living room.”.

V just points in that direction remaining silent. You can’t help but notice bruises coming to the surface of his skin. Wounds that he had received trying to keep you from harm.

Knocking on his door you are greeted with an, “Enter”.

Surprise showed in his eyes when he saw that it was you coming into the room. “(Y/N)? Hope called me and told me what happened. Are you okay?”

“I was blindsided by EXO and your asking me if I’m okay?! I shouldn’t have to learn the truth from them Namjoon! You just showed them that you don’t trust me, that you have no faith in me. How do you think that makes your team look?”

“I told you last night I wanted to wait for that document. Would you have believed me if you hadn’t read it yourself? Your father went to such an extent the truth was far from rational.”

That left you with another question, “Then how did EXO know about this?”

“It was their founder who organized her accident.”

You wait for more, but he doesn’t continue. “After what happened today I feel like it would be best if I left, not to Busan, somewhere outside of Korea. Everyone here is walking on eggshells around me and V almost...” You start a new thought not wanting to continue. “I will be opening an account in your name and transferring some of my assets, you’ll never have to worry about money.”

“It was never about the money, we took you in because you were important to Park, important to our mission. And yes everyone is nervous around you because they feel like they have failed you. We weren’t able to protect your father and now we are struggling to keep our promise.”

“You are going to have to give me more than that if you want me to stay. I still don’t understand why did he formed BTS.”

You are interrupted by a short knock on the door, Jin enters.

“That is my fault, I asked them not to say anything. I wasn’t ready to tell you but it appears I can’t put it off any longer.” Jin sighs in defeat. “But first let me check your shoulder. V said that you might have hit it?”

“It’s fine really, I just glanced the wall.” You are eager for answers, and don’t want him to delay any longer.

He looks at you skeptically, unbuttoning the first few buttons on your blouse to get a good look. “You’re bleeding through your bandage why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t notice,” You lie.

“Aishh you haven’t changed , you need to look after yourself more. There is a small tear nothing too bad. He brought bandages with him and changes it quickly before uttering another word. He sits down beside you but looks to the floor as he speaks.

“How much do you remember of your fathers work in politics?”

“Not much, just that he stepped down from his assembly seat when my mother passed.”

Jin takes a deep breath and starts off slowly.

“20 years ago my father, CEO Kim, was heavily invested in the stock market. He was reckless, throwing money at any stock that he believed to have “inside intel” on. He told his shareholders that he was investing in other companies that would benefit them. Instead of using the company funds to expand and update he continued to invest in the market. Profits crashed shareholders pulled out. The company that had been in my family for generations was about to go bankrupt.”

A pained expression on his face grows as the words continue to fall from his mouth.

“He reached out to the government asking for a bail out. Stating that a large number of the people still relied on the company for their medical equipment, and if they went under it would be devastating. The Assembly was actually considering it. My father thought that he would have Park’s vote easily after all they had been friends for a long time, but he was strongly against the idea. He rightfully believed that my father had been irresponsible and should sell the company.”

“My father refused explaining that he would rather watch his company go bankrupt then see it in the hands of another. He was shocked at your father’s “betrayal”. A few days before the vote your mother was in the a car accident that took her life.”

You could tell where this story was going but you didn’t want to believe it. To think a family friend, and Jin’s father, could sink so low. Jin glances up at you sadly for a moment, before returning to his explanation.

“Park was in mourning, but he was certain that the motion would fail even without his vote so he abstained. The motion passed, but just barely. With Park out, Kim only had to threaten a few delegates to sway the vote in his favour. There were a few restrictions placed on him. He was no longer able to access company profits and his share percentage would be reduced to 40, but those were limitations he could live with as he was still the majority shareholder.”

“The police had found new information that lead to the understanding that your mother’s accident was a planned attack, but with no evidence to show the responsible party, it was kept quiet. You were sent off within hours after the discovery. Park knew who the culprit was, but couldn’t prove it beyond reasonable doubt.”

“My father turned to other sources of income to help supplement his foolhardy investments. He founded the gang EXO which he supplies with products from his company. Often using them to intimidate lawmakers when necessary.”

You could feel your anger rising inside of you. He had killed your mother, and played a role in the death of your father. Yet Kim still continues to live his life in luxury.

“Five years ago while in school I discovered my father’s darker dealings. I had walked in on a meeting with him and several notoriously known gang members. I pretended not to be phased, only so I could further research his dealings with them. Each threat, every accident I came across was disturbing, but finding out what he had had to done to your family was the final straw. I left my home and came to Park on my knees begging for forgiveness for my ignorance. Your father took me in and supported me ever since that day.”

“Jin...”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. Even though I no longer consider him to be my father I still feel partially responsible for his acts. Your life was torn apart because of him...”

“You are not accountable for your father‘s crimes Jin.”

Namjoon begins to explain further, “Park brought us together purely for revenge. Realizing that Kim was to powerful to take down alone. With all the money we could ever need we had no reason to push drugs like the the other gangs. Making our police record virtually non existent. That doesn’t make us any more innocent than the rest of them though. We focus on taking from others that are connected to Kim, but even that becomes problematic. With us working behind the scenes, Park worked to discredit him in public eye.”

There was nothing you want more than to see that man fall. Needing to take everything from him the way he had taken it from you. There is no way you are leaving now. “I’m in.”

“What?” RM asks in disbelief, he quickly rephrases. ”I’m not saying no, I just want to make sure you are certain of your decision.”

“You asked me before if I wanted to join, I can be a patron, banker I don’t care. There is nothing left for me to lose, but my chance at revenge. You are not taking this man down without me.”

“You would be willing to become more than a patron, to work alongside us?”

“Yes,” Your confirmation comes out unwavering.

Jin looks at you perplexed. You can tell he no longer recognizes the girl before him, how could he when you could barely comprehend your own actions.

JK comes bursting in the door looking completely bewildered stuttering random words... Fire... Busan... He grabs your arm to follow him to the living room. The news coverage is on, but also his own camera footage was pulled up on the laptop. You watch the bookstore you called home go up in flames. “This can’t be an accident. How long ago did it start?”

“A few minutes ago, it caught quickly.”

You run to your room yelling, “JK I need memory space find me the largest empty hard drive you have.” I grabbed the laptop and head back to the living room. JK calls out from the room next to Namjoon’s. Jin had a questioning look on his face, “What’s wro...”

“No time to explain.” You shout running past him.

JK caught on quickly having everything set up once I reached his room. You plug in accessing your server and begin the transfer. “Come on, come on.” A window popped up with an estimated completion time of 2 hours and 45 minutes.

“Let’s hope it’s fast enough,” JK notes.

You sit down placing your head in your hands. The other members join you, curious looks on their faces.

“With them destroying my place of work it is only a matter time before they appear at my home too. I’m downloading my server in case they damage my system.”

Namjoon places a finger on his lips in thought. “JK pull up the cameras I posted in the area.”

JK looks at him hesitantly for a moment before muttering, “You must have a death wish.” He pulls up another camera shot.

“Why the hell is my living room on the screen?!” You shout.

“This is the first time that we have ever access this camera, it was to be used only for emergencies.” Namjoon shot back. “If you want to be part of this group, you are going to have to deal with a lack of privacy from time to time.”

You sigh defeated leaning back in your chair and glancing at the camera shots. there was another in the hallway in front of my door, a third pointing to the building in flames, and a forth that said no signal, you guess that one must have been set up inside the store. You are beyond grief you’re absolutely livid.

“Are these cameras recording?” You ask JK.

“Yeah, I’ll set up a notification if there is any movement in your apartment.”

You continue to stare a the flames engulfing the building, “There is one thing I am still confused about. If I was so well hidden how did the press get my picture and find out about me so quickly? How did they,” You point to the screen, “Find my workplace so quickly.”

V answers for you, “I’m looking into my connections, seeing if anyone is trying to exchange information about you on the dark web, but it could be as simple as one of your friends talking to the media.”

You are more concerned about the second option than the first. Your friends knew you as a private person. They knew that you wouldn’t want your life on display. Did one of them sell you out?

“2 hours and 40 minutes left on the transfer, I don’t think I can watch this anymore.” You slowly leave you chair heading back to the living room. The other members follow, you hear Jimin whisper asking if you are really joining the team, a faint yes comes from Jin. Jimin seems pleased by the idea, you turn back to see his his squinty eyed smile.

Namjoon whispers something to Jin, who then excuses himself, as everyone sit on the couches surrounding a coffee table.

Suga is leaning back, looking as if he might fall asleep, V, JK and Jimin are arguing over something on his laptop. Hope sits beside you as he scrolls through his phone. Namjoon is across from you holding a small smile on his face. Jin returns with 8 bottles of beer. “You should be fine now (Y/N), the painkillers will be out of your system.” He informs you, passing a bottle over.

“Thanks Jin.”

He hands out the rest of the bottles.

“I know that this isn’t the ideal time for initiation...” Namjoon starts what seems like a speech but is quickly interrupted .

“Here he goes...” Suga mutters.

“He’s going to be all methodical and sappy,” groans Hope.

Jimin stifles his laughter. Namjoon glares at them.

“Just keep it short RM.” V asks.

Namjoon turns to you, you give him a pleading look in agreement with the others. “Fuck it then, Welcome home Fire.”

A chorus of welcome homes echoed around the room we all raised out bottles and toast the occasion.

The talk soon turned to logistics. “What role will she be taking?” Asks Jimin.

Namjoon looks to you in assessment, “You already have a background with computers, so it might be best if you stick with JK for now. At least until you heal.”

“Maybe you can teach him a thing or two about screenshots, or even art.” V cracks.

The beer is consumed quickly, the guys out pacing you easily. There’s a outcry for more, forcing Jin to find the soju. “Drink it slow, otherwise you’ll feel terrible tomorrow.” Jin expresses his concern as he pours you a drink.

“I don’t think that I could feel much worse tomorrow regardless.” The funeral coming to the forefront of your mind.

“You don’t have do this you know.” Jin suddenly blurts out.

You knew this was coming, “If you are referring to my membership, I don’t think your in any place to talk me out of it. I don’t want to be that naive child anymore Jin, you should know that better than anyone.”

“You’re too young to know what you want.”

“Yes because being two years older makes you so much more mature.”

“I may be only two years older but I have spent the last five in a world you can’t comprehend. I’m just trying to look out for you. We can watch over you even if you don’t become a member.”

JK approaches with an empty cup eyeing the bottle in Jin’s hand.

“Did you say the same thing to JK when he joined or is this for my benefit?” You remark pointing out the double standard in age.

“Okay fine, I’ll lay off... for now.” He claps a hand on JK’s shoulder changing his tone. “Try not to pick on JK too much while your working with him. You don’t want to scare him off with that temper of yours.” Jin laughs

“Yes because he’s so innocent,” You mutter sarcastically to low for Jin to hear.

“You’ll be working under me Fire, you shouldn’t make fun of your superior like that.” JK whispers to you as Jin pours more drinks.

“Is that a threat little boy, because I was told not to keep any secrets from my fellow members.” You eye him darkly.

“You wouldn’t dare...”

But you do...“Jin I was wondering, JK had this weird folder hidden on his server labeled F.A.P. material any idea what it might be?”

JK turns bright red as Jin fumes, “What do you have on your computer?”

You snicker quickly edging out of the conversation making you way over to Namjoon. As you stop beside him all you could hear across the room was, “You should see the amount RM has on his computer!”

You burst out laughing while he asks, “What are they talking about?”

“Oh, I accidentally came across JK’s porn folder while on his server.” It took a minute for it to sink in and figure out what JK was accusing him of.

“Oh...OH!... It’s not...” He stutters.

“I could care less, it’s just funny to watch the reaction of those who do.”

After a while the yelling becomes slurred apologies as the liquor takes hold.

Jimin and V have passed out on one of the couches together.

Hope somehow talks the rest of us to into playing a drinking game. For Namjoon and yourself it took a little convincing, but you aren’t sure how he was able to persuade Suga.

You had gone a couple rounds now, the truths becoming more interesting as you all continue.

Namjoon pulls a new prompt from the bowl. “Embarrassing secrets... Apparently I have a shocking amount of adult content on my computer.” Namjoon confesses. You all lift your glasses and take a drink.

It was you turn next. You try to think of something that none of them would have in common with you, really not wanting to have to take another drink. “Until recently I had a stuffed animal I slept with.” You glance at them hopefully. Matching grins appeared on both Suga’s and Hopes face as they look to Namjoon.

He looks back at them shot in hand, “It makes a good cushion...” He grumbles taking a shot with you.

Suga is up next. “Skip.”

You try to persuade him, “Wait, but this is such and easy one.”

“Skip,” He repeats taking his two penalty shots.

Hope clears his throat, and continues the game. Not commenting on Suga’s deflect. “I used to take dance lessons.”

No one speaks up.

“Fuck Hope, you wanted to play knowing you would win didn’t you.” Suga complains as everyone takes the shot instead of Hope.

“Ugh, how does anyone win this game,” You groan, rubbing your hand over your face trying to stay awake.

Namjoon’s face drops as he reads the next slip. “Greatest fear...” He takes a deep breath as he thinks it over. “I’m terrified of failure. One misstep an it becomes a life or death every time.”

You all raise our glasses again.

“I think you’re just afraid of drinking alone.” Hope grumbles.

You hate this question, there was one fear that surpasses all others for you. “I am afraid of being alone...” everyone raises their glasses but you aren’t finished yet. “Alone with my own thoughts. On a bad day I’ll go out to the store or a cafe because at least there... in public I know I won’t act upon them.” Namjoon and Hope lower theirs, but Suga keeps his glass high. He continues to look you in the eye as he takes his shot with you. You felt Namjoon reach for your hand under the table, he squeezes it and keeps hold.

Suga doesn’t take long to come up with his own, “My tally.” Seeing your confusion he continues to explain. “When I became a sniper I was worried I would lose count of the lives I took. I keep a tally and add to it every time I am given an assignment. I have not counted it in years. I have gone from a fear of forgetting to a fear of knowing.”

The rest of you take your shots in silence. You don’t know what to say his truth, it leaves you troubled but also terrified.

You can tell that Hope is not eager to share. “Come on Hope this’ll be the last one.” You whisper encouragingly.

“I’m scared of falling asleep. Almost every night I dream that someone I care about dies in my arms, that it is my fault, that I failed them.” His mouth hangs open as if waiting for his words to continue but only silence follows.

You raise your glass, offering words in solidarity. “You’re not alone. If it’s not my mother, it’s my father, if it’s not him it’s my friends. So far I am two for three,” You chuckle darkly as you roll the glass between your fingers before taking the shot with him. You can tell why they like to play this game. It may have taken on a somber tone near the end , but you feel as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

Kneeling at the table and drinking excessively had finally taken its toll. You honestly don’t think you can get up so you just lay back on the rug. The carpet is incredibly soft, you felt as if you are melting into it.

“No one move me until it’s absolutely necessary.”

J-Hope crawls over and climbs on the couch behind you, “Same.”

“You guys are all light weights.” Suga lays down on the floor his head resting on a blanket supported by your ankles. Namjoon lays along his side of the table with his head pointed towards you.

“Thank you agreeing to take me on.”

“I hope you’ll still be thankful after your training,” He laughs.

“Too late to back out now?” you jokingly ask.

“Yeah I think so, you can’t go back on an initiation like that.” He gestures to everyone passed out, snores can be heard around the room.

You suppress a snicker.

“Goodnight Namjoon.” You whisper.

“Goodnight (Y/N),” He places a hand on your head as you fall asleep.

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