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saviormysticmeme · 7 years

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Well, this is kinda angsty, but can I request a scenario where zen & mc are together and in the last rfa party zen slept with jaehee and after a few days jaehee couldn't deal with the blame and told mc in front of all rfa but MC pretended not to believe her (andthenrfa*cof*saeran*cof*tryingtocomforther). This is ridiculously specific, i know lolol but feel free if you don't want to do it, it's okay, or if you want to change anything just do it 😅 I love love love your blog and your writing ❤❤❤❤❤

Ok so this post actually ended up being realllly long and I don’t know how to do the ‘read more’ thing so I’m really sorry to anyone trying to scroll byOops

And I’m so glad you like my writing, and I’m also really glad I got this request because at first I wasn’t sure how to write it (I basically ended up writing a fanfiction using bullet points haha oops) but I had a lot of fun doing it.

Disclaimer: I don’t think Zen would ever cheat and I actually don’t think Jaehee has any romantic feelings for him, just admiring adoration.

And I know you said I could change thingsbut it’s rlly angsty and I’m an angst monster and I kinda love it sooo i’m gonna keep it exactly how you wrote it

let’s do it

Zen had always been flirty with you

And at some point..you had started flirting back

And soon it was more than flirting and you found yourself head over heels for each other

Constant phone calls too each other where you’d gush over how you wished you could see each other

Good morning and Goodnight texts

The occasional shameless flirt in the public chat

Once you two met at the first RFA party it was like a scene from a Disney movie, you two all but ran to each other and he swung you around once he snagged you in a tight embrace

Looking into his eyes you swore this could be love

He did too.

He really did swear he was in love with you

You were everything he had hoped and more

You were the person that woke him up everyday and put a smile on his face, you were the person that he thought of when love songs came on the radio, when he was on stage you were his muse, when he lay down to sleep at night you were the final thought in his head, and the first one in his dreams.

The next RFA party was a few months after you two had first met in person, only a couple months into your very happy relationship

You two had spent the first half of the night joined at the hip, happily enjoying each other’s company.

But somewhere throughout the nights timeline you both got distracted by separate guests and acquaintances and wandered away from each other.

Zen started drinking. Whoever he was talking to kept egging him on and the two of them were having a good ole time, which is rare for Zen in these occasions because the guests are usually upper class aristocrats like Jumin or if they are there for Zen, it’s as fans instead of friends

So he thought he’d treat himself

It got to be a bit much

The other guests were starting to notice and Jumin was not going to have the press covering Zen’s drunken gusto at an RFA event

“Assistant Kang,” Jumin sauntered over to Jaehee while keeping his eyes on Zen. “please escort Hyun to the back where he can cool down, out of the cameras’ lines of sight.”

“Of course, Mr. Han” And Jaehee was off. She was relieved that she had an excuse to get Zen out of the room, she too recognized the bad press that could follow this event but felt she hadn’t had the authority to tell Zen otherwise

But under the guise of Jumin’s will, she was able to convince Zen to head to the back so ‘Jumin wouldn’t bitch’ (in the words of the actor).

Soon it was just the two of them in the back room, Jaehee giving Zen water as he yanked at his shirt collar, complaining it was hot.

In his drunken shenanigens he managed to undo all his buttons at some point while Jaehee was getting more water, so she came back to shirtless Zen.

Zen knew those eyes.

As the assistant stared at his pectorals with a slight blush on her cheeks, he looked into her eyes and saw something

Adoration. Admiration. Want.

She wanted him.

Somewhere, deep in his psyche, behind the pseudo narcissist wall, 10 year old Hyun Ryu craved the attention. The positive attention his mom said he’d never get

He had you

But in that moment he had Jaehee too, and he couldn’t turn that down

…

Jaehee doesn’t even know how it initiated, she just recalls Zen pressing her against the wall and kissing her with a passion she’s never felt before.

His hands undoing the buttons of her shirt

His lips whispering praises of how she was not only successful, but also beautiful. And so sweet. And smart. And-

She almost cried. Someone as talented as Zen saw something so great in someone as plain as her? Impossible.

But he kept assuring her, and touching her, and loving her

Loving her the way he should have been loving you

The guilt hit her, but she watched it disappear as ecstasy took over

…

Zen passed out once they were both finished, pants undone and shirt wide open, but eyes closed and soft breaths flying in and out of his lips

Jaehee was wide awake though.

She was leaning against the wall, clothes messily pulled back on and tears threatening her eyes

The guilt was back and it felt like the weight of the world’s biggest mistake was sitting on her shoulders

She put her hands over her mouth as she stared at Zen, and she started crying when she thought of you.

“What have I done?”

After every party, the RFA gets together a few days later to go over logistics. What worked, what didn’t, who came, how to convince more people to come, etc

Jaehee’s heart dropped as you and Zen walked in together, a bright smile on your face, a blank slate on his.

No not blank

When Jaehee met his crimson eyes she saw it, the same thing he probably saw in her eyes: Guilt. Remorse. Regret.

She could barely stomach the feel as you greeted her and hugged her

“Jaehee! Good to see you! I feel like we didn’t get to talk much at the party thanks to someone making a little scene” As you pulled away you playfully rolled your eyes towards Zen.

He just gave a nervous chuckle

Jaehee opened her mouth, ready to spill her guts, only to find it was dry as cotton.

You gave her a quizzical look, ready to ask what was wrong, but Jumin’s voice interrupted with “Shall we begin?” looking pointedly at the three of you.

“Yahoo~” Seven cheered as he plopped down next to Saeran, who had recently been getting dragged along to all the RFA meetings, given he tended to just sit in the corner and pout.

Much like right now. He did little more than look at you and nod, which was as courteous a greeting as you were going to get with him.

Yoosung nodded, signaling everyone was ready, and the discussion began

You all were about 30 minutes into the conversation

Except for Jaehee

She couldn’t stop thinking about what happened the night of the party

She couldn’t stop looking at you and feeling guilty

She couldn’t stop thinking about telling you

“I need water” She stood up abruptly, startling everyone a bit

Jumin had a bit of an annoyed look on his face but conceded with “Fine. Quick 5 minute break for everyone”

Jaehee booked it to the kitchen

“Uh…I’m thirsty too.” Cue Zen bee-lining after her.

“Are you Okay??” He asked in a harsh whisper

“No I’m not okay!” Jaehee hissed back “We…we have to tell her.”

“No!” Zen’s eyes widened “No. You and I both know it was a mistake that will never happen again. She doesn’t need to know.”

“Zen if you love her-”

“I do love her!” He snapped back “I love her which is why I can’t lose her Jaehee. I know we messed up, I do. But..I can’t lose her over my mistakes” His eyes were pleading even more than his voice

Jaehee just stared into the crimson orbs, feeling the knot in her stomach grow. She just weakly nodded.

There was a moment of silence before she chugged her glass of water and turned to head back towards the living room where everyone was seated

She took a strong stride in

She bit her tongue

She was not going to-

You were the first face she met walking back in

Your smile welcoming her back to the circle

Your eyes cheery

Your heart open to her as it had been since the first day even when she treated you coldly.

Zen was right behind Jaehee and nearly bumped into her when she stopped dead in her tracks

“Jaehee?” You and he called at the same time, him due to her abrupt stop, and you because of the tears suddenly pouring from her eyes.

“Jaehee what’s wrong?” You rushed to her, attracting everyone’s attention

You caught Zen’s face from over her shoulder, his eyes wide. Knowing.

“M-MC” Jaehee choked out

“W-What is it?” You asked worriedly taking her trembling hands in yours

“MC” Her voice fell. There was just a moment of silence. Everyone in the room was looking, the outburst had even taken a hold of Saeran’s full attention.

“Zen and I…we’ve done something awful”

You knew what she was suggesting but..no. No you didn’t. No way that’s what she meant you’re just confusing things.

“…What did you do?” You asked cautiously

Sniffling. Endless sniffling. You looked to Zen, who was pale and looked like he was also ready to cry.

“Zen…what happened?”

“I’m so sorry” He managed to get out before the lump in his throat clogged his vocal cords.

“At the party MC we- we had….” Jaehee couldn’t get the filthy three letter word out of her mouth

You dropped her hands and looked to Zen

“MC I’m so sorry” Zen repeated, his voice shaking even more

Everyone was quiet, waiting for your response

You had none. Just an empty stare and mouth slightly agape, waiting for words to come out of their own accord

Finally they did

“This is a really cruel joke to play” You feigned a very obvious forced smile as your eyes blinked back tears “I never thought you guys would do such a thing..haha” You wiped a way a small drop ready to roll down your cheek

“MC!” Jaehee exclaimed “This isn’t-”

“Jaehee.” Your voice dropped. “I really don’t find this funny.”

“Neither do I!” The brown haired girl went to take your hand again but you pulled away

“And Zen” You turned to him “I don’t- I don’t know..how…” You couldn’t finish the sentence

They were everywhere. Pouring down your face, flooding your eyes, gathering in a small pool at your chin. It was an onslaught of tears rolling down your cheeks, choking your words, your thoughts, your everything.

“MC” Zen reached out to you, only to have his hand swatted away by yours.

You just stared at him and cried, forcing him to look you in the eyes as your faux smile fell to pieces.

You felt a hand softly fall upon your shoulder, and you turned to see Seven looking at you, apologetic pity in his eyes. Saeran stood behind him, wearing an angrier version of his twin’s sentiment.

“Let’s go for a ride, get some fresh air, huh MC?” The red head’s voice was soft

You softly nodded and let him guide you towards the door, not even able to muster up to energy to look back at Jaehee and Zen.

Saeran did however, and he looked back towards the two with a face full of disgust, up until the moment he slammed the door

“what a good meeting” Jumin grumbled under his breath as he turned a disdainful eye towards Zen

You drove for a couple hours probably. Most of it in silence, but a comfortable one. You were in the passenger seat and Saeran was in the back, Seven at the wheel finding desolate roads and flying down them, giving the wind of your open window some sort of purifying feeling. It stung, but it felt good. Your hair whipped around and the land raced by and you occasionally sobbed but that was ok.

Eventually you found yourself back at the Chois’ place, sitting on the couch, staring at a TV playing a movie that you hadn’t been paying attention to for the last hour. Your mind was elsewhere, wondering what you had done wrong.

You looked at the carton of ice cream in your hand, only doing so because the sight of Saeran setting his own empty one on the coffee table had triggered you to remember Seven had given you your own carton to drown your sorrows in.

The redhead had actually gone out to buy more, so it was just you and Saeran on the black leather couch staring at the TV screen.

“Do you want this?” You offered the ice cream to Saeran who’s expression turned from bored to surprised, probably because you’d been silent for the past six hours aside from a sob here and there.

“You don’t want it?”

“I’m not hungry”

He stared at you and the carton for a second, his face unreadable.

He wanted to insist you eat the ice cream, because personally he found it to always make him feel better, but he figured you didn’t want to hear it.

He took the carton from your hands and placed it on the table in front of you two

Silence aside from the noise of the TV.

He cast a glance to you, only to find your eyes on the floor.

“doyou wantalk” You barely understood what he said it was so quiet

“What?” You looked to him

He thought you were asking out of surprise rather than inaudibility and “My therapist…he says that talking things out makes you feel better.” He looked indignant for a moment, likely remembering how stupid he felt when he rejected the idea only to find later that his therapist had been correct

“I…I have nothing to say” Your shell of a voice whispered

Saeran furrowed his brows at you. “Say you hate them”

“What?”

His voice raised a bit “You hate them don’t you? So say it. The therapist said talk about your feelings so start there. They’re scumbags who hurt you and deser-”

“No!” You’re voice hit a volume it hadn’t reached in hours. “I don’t hate them!”

Saeran was mixed with confusion and anger “What do you mean you don’t hate them? One of your best friends and your boyfriend fucked-”

There it was

Someone finally said it.

The hot tears made a return and began rolling down your cheeks as sudden sobs erupted from your mouth

Saeran was alarmed at the sudden show and tried to pinpoint the trigger. He supposes it could be his last sentence but it’s not as if it wasn’t something we all knew.

“I….I don’t hate them” You cried once the worst of the sobs subsided.”I don’t even think I want to hate them. I mean it’d be easier but…I don’t. Jaehee…it’s not her fault. She just..got wrapped up in it all. And she’s always liked Zen. How could she have said no. And he..he was drunk” You sputtered out your rationalizations to find that they only annoyed Saeran

“The Assistant should still no better. But fine. You know what? She’s not dating you, and clearly she triggered you finding out the truth. So let’s pretend she’s ok? What about the actor? I don’t care that he was drunk. There’s no excuse for him doing that!” The white haired boys voice had become louder and louder, fists clenching tighter and tighter as he began riling up old feelings of betrayal he once felt. “He abandoned you! He left you in the dust and for what? He failed you!”

You don’t know when it happened but Saeran had turned towards you and grabbed your hands, squeezing them tight in between his own. His mouth was contorted into some sort of snarl and you saw a fire raging behind his minty eyes.

“Saeran..you’re hurting my hands” You squeaked out.

Your small voice dragged him out of whatever memory he was reliving and he sort of faded back into reality with a few blinks of his eyes before turning his attention to his hands. He let go of yours and in a flat voice uttered a “sorry”.

You guys were silent again, just staring at the floor, both living in whatever sad memory chose to cross your brains.

“You deserve better is all” He finally said.

“I know” You replied, voice empty of any real feeling.

You looked up, staring at the TV but not actually watching as a man on a horse offered a hand towards a young woman. “I just can’t stop thinking about him. About the him I fell in love with. Is he really gone?”

Saeran followed your gaze to the TV, looking on as the girl hopped on the horse. “I think so. That’s assuming he was the guy you thought he was at any point.”

“He was.” You said, a little defensive. Saeran looked towards you, watching your emotionless expression, knowing that there was a storm underneath despite the calm appearance. He knew because he often did the same, rocking a stoic appearance while watching all hell break loose in his own head.

“Is this the part where I say ‘It gets better’?”

“Do you believe that it does?”

“Not a fuckin’ chance” A bitter smirk twisted his lips

“I appreciate the honesty” You sighed

“Not in the way that we think it will anyway” He looked off into space somewhere.

“Hm?” You turned to him

“Everyone imagines that one day soon they’re going to wake up and suddenly it’s not going to hurt anymore. That there’s gonna be a day when you don’t think about this. You’re always gonna think about it. You’re always gonna wonder what you did wrong. Why God hates you. What things would be like if it didn’t happen.”

“You don’t think that there can be a day when it all feels ok?” You ask, partially to heal your hopeless heart, and partially because you see Saeran is projecting his own feelings and you’re curious to know how he feels.

“Maybe. I haven’t hit it yet though. Doubt I will.”

You stared as he looked off into the distance, feeling as if you could see the scenes of his past playing in his eyes.

You were just about to recede back into your ball of depression and hopelessness before he spoke again and took your attention

“But that’s me. You’re…you, MC” your questioning look prompted him to continue “You’re…a good person.”

“You are to-” You went to say but he cut you off by turning and leaning towards you with a new intensity in his face.

“Not like you. If at all” He scoffed. “ You though, everyone loves you. And they’re right too. Because…” suddenly he stopped himself, seeming to turn a little shy.

“Because?” You wanted, no, needed to hear this.

He gulped down his fear and turned his eyes to the side, unable to look at you as he delivered his next few words, scared of you seeing through him even more than you usually do.

“MC, you’re..everything. You’re smart, you’re cute, and you’re …kind. You always know what to say to help everyone. And that’s the thing. You try to help people, even people trying to hurt you…” His eyes turned back to you “You saw a good in me even when I didn’t. You risked your life to help my brother to save me. You’re…kind of like an angel.”

You just stared, taken aback by such kind words, from Saeran of all people.

You were right to be surprised, he wasn’t usually this smooth in conveying his feelings verbally…there must have just been something about you that made it easy for him to talk.

“If it gets better for anyone, it’ll be for you, MC” He reached for your hand out of instinct, but pulled back instantly when your skin touched, as if he just realized what he was doing. His eyes did the same, it looked like he just realized how vulnerable he was in that moment, and a sort of wall was raised behind his irises and his whole body tensed a bit.

He was scared of being rejected.

…

Your hand slowly reached out to his, which was floating in the space between you two, and when he didn’t pull back, you interlaced your fingers together.

A look of awe decorated both of your faces.

“Thank you…Saeran.” The light of the TV bounced off your wet eyes, making them look extra glossy.

The boy just looked at you, wide eyed, apprehensive for a moment, then nodded and tightened his grip on your hand. It wasn’t the same anger induced bear trap grip from when he grabbed them before. Now it was just firm, reassuring, like a hug.

“MC…things will get better for you. If not? I’ll make them.” He gave a subtle squeeze of the hand, giving you the nostalgic feeling of a pinky promise.

“You already did.” You let your head, heavy from spinning and sobbing all day, fall on his shoulder.

He just looked at you for a moment, before taking a deep breath a pulling you closer, his free hand rubbing your back gently.

Maybe he was wrong

Maybe things would get better for him too

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