#wrenfea.ask

[thedisablednaturalist]

I screenshotted the ask bc I blocked them bc I don't think they'd listen anyway and I don't need anymore of this shit in my inbox on my birthday

What a dumbass ask. It's not just MY experience. Its MILLIONS of peoples experience. (65 million is the estimate). I don't give a fuck if I can see the pores of a character or if theres perfect physics for trees blowing in the wind. Our wheelchairs are parts of ourselves and it is Devastating when seemingly no one cares about including us while marketing their games as the most diverse game ever made.

I don't give a fuck if the "physics are complicated" EVERYTHING in a video game is complicated. Making a realistic gun that lights up and has every mechanism perfectly rendered is complicated. Video games are complicated. Y'all would rather have 5000 animated clothing options than include 1 wheelchair. I'm not asking for them to include like, something benign and just for me. I'm not asking everyone to put one specific hairstyle that shoots fireworks out of my head in every single game. This isn't a frivilous selfish thing to want. This is something that MANY people are asking for. A dad asking modders if someone could make a wheelchair mod for their young daughter who's in one and wants to play Minecraft as herself. Disabled Stardew valley players who see all the amazing mods on nexus but there's like, I think only one mod that adds wheelchairs? (And yet theres hundreds that ADD A WHOLE NOTHER MAP and NPCS and yes, VEHICLES AND BODY MODS)

Also? I still play video games? I don't boycott any game that doesn't have wheelchairs?? I just get kinda sad and go oh well

Also, I'm not going to learn an entire new field that people literally go to college for years to master to make my own game. I'm out here trying to keep my area's streams from being filled with concrete and sewage. It's insulting to game developers to say "why don't you just make your own game idiot" as if it's that simple.

I'm disabled + chronically ill. I'm already doing too much and you want me to add on making an entire game to that? There's no logic in it. Like you're giving me the choice of "make my own game or shut up"

I do try to make my own content (as well as doing actual outreach and activism in the offline world). And the only games I've called out are ones that rake in millions of dollars and have large enough teams or enough money to bring more people on (I think I've only called out one actually). I support indie creators and boost their games when I am able to on this blog and my main.

Nice way to spend your time going after a minority (oppressed person? Idk) for pleading for representation in gaming. Get outta here.

[thedisablednaturalist]

[Image id: Tumblr message from @manaphy-is-a-coward : "Hi! I saw your post about wanting more good representation for people in wheelchairs. I’m an aspiring game dev who would like the same thing. Currently, I’m making a dating sim and I definitely want to include a character in a wheelchair.

Do you have any tips? It can be for personality, relationships, stereotypes to avoid, anything!

Thank you in advance.

- Manaphy-Is-A-Coward, aspiring game developer

P.S.

I know you wanted playable characters in wheelchairs, and the ability to customise that fact, but for my first game I don’t think I’m going to add customisation. Sorry!"

My reply:

Hm so I would need to know what kind of game mechanics you're planning, like is it a visual novel or something more like stardew valley? Also having more characters in general in wheelchairs is still helpful, my concern is when games WITH customization leave out disabled players. I don't expect everyone to make their player character a wheelchair user (although I'd be nice if some did). Honestly, just treat them like you would any other npc. Don't make their whole personality about being in a wheelchair but don't completely ignore that fact. It's just a way for them to get around. It's okay if they make jokes about themselves (but maybe get feedback on them by a wc user before publishing). Another thing that pisses me off is when they introduce the wc user once and then you literally never see them again (barbie movie). Like they just want the points but not actual representation. Also is it ok if I screenshot this and post it so more wheelchair users can weigh in? I'd be good for you to get multiple opinions from both ambulatory and full time users

Okay, thank you!

And of course you can! I would love more opinions! End id]

[thedisablednaturalist]

Would Long Covid count as a psychical disability? It definitely feels like it but doctors of course disagree .../g

It counts as a chronic illness which is considered by many to count as a physical disability if it is, well, physically disabling. Some chronically ill people don't consider themselves physically disabled so it's a personal choice. Many people with long covid are very detached from disabled communities as it is a fairly new illness so they still don't want to consider themselves disabled. This could be due to internalized ableism or pressure from loved ones and doctors to not "give up" and accept themselves as disabled. This is pretty normal for any newly disabled person though, not just those with long covid. It took a while for me to accept my own disabilities as I was pressured to not consider myself disabled. I hope those with long covid are able to find community, whether that be with us or themselves.

[thedisablednaturalist]

Crabs don't have spines and they commit many crimes

I forgive them...

Even him

[thedisablednaturalist]

Um i got a weird ask

I honestly have no idea what this person is talking about what did i do wrong

[thedisablednaturalist]

I don't really know how to explain this, and I'm sorry if it's out of place but I'm just exhausted, I see a lot of cripplepunk stuff and a lot of it I can relate to, but I don't know if I can really interact with the community. I have scoliosis that gives me near constant chronic pain as well as a post viral syndrome and thyroid issues that mean I can't stand or walk or exercise for very long at a time without getting overly winded to the point where I have passed out a couple times. But like, I can still walk to my friends houses if I take breaks often, and I'm still in college full time and don't usually need physical accommodations, so I feel like i'm still ablebodied like 99% of the time. Idk, maybe I'm just in denial but nobody I know irl really gets it about the shit I have to deal with and honestly having typed things out and reread it, I think I might be disabled. Nvm.

Anyways, I really like your blog and you bring a lot of positivity to my dash. Have a great day.

You are definitely welcome in the cripplepunk community. I'm sure many people here would agree. Invisible physical disabilities are welcome.

[thedisablednaturalist]

what is your favorite aquatic invertibrate?

THIS is a loaded question. I've kept this in my inbox for a while cause there's SO MANY it's hard to choose. I'm most interested in mollusca and crustacea but those are still large categories.

My favorite mollusk is Dirona albolineata, the frosted alabaster nudibranch. Absolutely gorgeous and come in my favorite color.

I pretty much love all nudibranches though. My second favorite would have to be sea butterflies, they're so weird!

And of course the animal crossing famous Clione limacina or sea angel

Academically, I'm currently researching freshwater mussels for our reintroduction project. Mussels may not be as flashy as nudibranchs, but they are extremely important for improving water quality in freshwater habitats. It's hard to choose a favorite, but one I've researched the most and have grown fondly of is Alasmidonta varicosa, the brook floater. We are hoping to eventually reintroduce it to it's previous native range. Fun fact, when you pick them up out of the water, they stick their "tongue" (foot) out.

I literally had the species name written on my giant whiteboard in the office for a few months so my boss would keep seeing it since I really wanted us to use it as a flagship species to design our reintroduction project around. Fast forward and we've gotten a grant and things are progressing nicely.

Anyway on the crustacea side that's an even harder choice. I'm always excited to see aquatic isopods and scuds. I'm probably most fond of Malacostraca (amphipods, isopods, decapods, etc.) and Branchiopoda (clam, fairy, and tadpole shrimp, and water fleas). Do not make me pick one I am unable to. I will say I have a particular soft spot for crayfish as they are the organisms I've had the most one-on-one time with (I literally have a pet crayfish named Mr Pinchy). I just love anything with pinchers (⁠ʃ⁠ƪ⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠）≧〔゜゜〕≦

First crayfish I ever held doing it's little defensive stance of Shake Em Like You Just Don't Care. Just take a look at it's mouth! The mouthparts are so cool! I love watching Mr. Pinchy eat.

My favorite macroinvertebrate would hands down be Corydalus, aka Hellgrammites, which are the larval form of Dobsonflies. I have yet to see an adult dobsonfly in person, but have been told they're terrifying and not very nice. We shall see about that. Hellgrammites are simply angry pathetic overdramatic babies and while people say they bite I've held plenty and never been bit. They will absolutely go for the other bugs in the tray so you do have to keep them in a separate container. We've lost a couple of caddisfly larvae to the jaws of the mighty hellgrammite.

Just look at it! Here's a video where I'm trying to get a good shot of it's gills (those frilly things on its underside). They roll into a defensive ball which is so endearing. I also love anything that can curl into a ball. I think they're absolutely adorable but most people tend to disagree with me ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

TDLR I love all aquatic invertebrates so very much. I didn't even get into shrimp or coral or starfish! They make me so happy I actually have to limit how much I read about them in a day because my emotions get too big and cause me to become hyper (which is a bad combo for fibromyalgia). I'm not great at remembering information so I get to constantly relearn and rediscover things which is a blessing and a curse. This also makes taxonomy especially hard for me so let me know if I messed up somewhere.

[thedisablednaturalist]

[thedisablednaturalist]

That veggie chopper takes a fair bit of force. Idk what to compare it to, but it's high impact on the hands and wrists.

Aw bummer. People will recommend stuff for physically disabled/chronically ill people without checking that it's actually helpful. Which is why I take any advice from an abled person with a pile of salt.

[thedisablednaturalist]

adding on to the prev ask - ive literally never heard of anyone letting someone take a mental health day but typically physical health stuff is taken more seriously? im not living ur life tho obviously so maybe im being ignorant rn

I'm not saying that everyone accepts accommodating neurodivergence. I'm saying that people who do oftentimes will get pissed if they have to accommodate someone who's physically disabled. At least in college and especially in fields that involve doing things that aren't desk work. They think you needing to take a break means you shouldn't be in the field at all. I had a professor that was super accommodating to my neurodivergent classmates, but was pissed off when he had to let me join class remotely because i couldn't get out of bed that day due to my chronic pain (he would allow others to join remotely for mental health reasons). My mom bends over backward to accommodate my autistic brother who is also severely depressed. Then she turns around and yells at me for sleeping during the day and for using a wheelchair. My disability services knew all about accommodating adhd and anxiety and even gave me a recording pen. They didn't have any clue on how to accommodate a physically disabled student. I was given a ton of guidance on mental health at my college orientation and NO INFORMATION ON PHYSICAL DISABILITY. I had to figure everything out for myself after finding out I was physically disabled at age 22. They screen for depression and anxiety and ADHD and autism at every school and don't screen for things like scoliosis, spinal issues, eds, fibromyalgia, CFS, etc. I went to so many appointments begging doctors to do more in depth examinations because I hurt everywhere and even exercising and eating healthy wasn't helping. And they told me that I needed to lose weight and gave me vitamin D pills and asked me if it was my depression causing it and SO MANY YOUNG PEOPLE get told its because they're fat or its growing pains or they sit at their computer too much and its not that neurodivergent people don't have that happen as well but its so much more prevalent when you're trying to get help as a physically disabled person. Trust me I know how much being mentally ill and neurodivergent sucks. But I've run into way more people accepting of those than of my physical disabilities.

[thedisablednaturalist]

Post your diagnosis papers

Look at this turtle I found

[thedisablednaturalist]

so sorry ppl that cant read are sending you messages about those posts but i get it completely. rheumatologists and osteos and NP's want to hear more abt my decade old severe anxiety and depression and adhd and ~more~ diagnoses than chronic debilitating pain and just slap vitamin D pills on it and throw up their hands because "test results are weird idk what to tell u even tho i said it was this two weeks ago". abled friends and coworkers can have conversations about their mental health struggles but its looked at self pityingly if i bring up how my life is irreparably damaged by my physical disability because disabled people have to be strong and resilient to earn a place in their field and if you cant cut it just get on those snazzy disability benefits and let it get worse. i think a lot of abled ND people just cant accept that they do not experience the worst of life's struggles and that solidarity doesnt make us the same

I try to be understanding and answer peoples questions politely when I have the spoons and if they are genuinely confused bc I used to be ignorant as well about a lot of aspects of physical disability but it gets so tiring. Nowadays there are a ton of resources from physically disabled people talking about their experiences its actually quite easy to educate yourself on our struggles. Like sorry I get a little frustrated and rude when I'm constantly bombarded by ableism and rude ass people.

Also yeah that's exactly what I've been trying to say. Doctors can usually relate to people having mental health struggles and even some aspects of neurodivergencey. But they cannot understand someone looking completely fine and not being able to detect anything but complaining of horrible pain and constant tiredness outside of the lense of mental health. And if your mental health is managed or only suffering because you are in constant pain, they say you're faking, or OBVIOUSLY you just need to lose weight, or drink more water, or exercise more than any able bodied person does. People take one look at me and think the solution is obvious and I'm just too stupid or lazy to figure it out.

And me saying this isn't saying that mental illness is super easy to deal with. Its fucking awful as well and many doctors say this shit to neurodivergents as well. And this is especially true for poc and people with psychosis or bipolar disorder or schizophrenia.

I went to my first therapist in my sophomore year of highschool and got medicated that same year. I started investigating my health issues in college freshman year and have JUST gotten actual results from treatment. SIX fucking years later. SIX fucking years of CONSTANT PAIN. And I have great insurance and a great dad who just wants me to feel better (my mom is a different story). My parents are sort of upper middle class and I live in a very privileged area. Of course that means I can't afford to move out even with an ok salary, but at least there are plenty of doctors around to choose from and plenty of appointments available. I can't imagine how long it takes someone without those advantages. And even still I had to fight to be listened to, I had to listen to so much bs from doctors and had to go from doctor to doctor begging for someone to listen.

Like they really don't get how unbelievably hard it is to get care for physical disabilities, visible and invisible. If you're visibly disabled you get treated like a child and a monster and you're isolated from society. If you're invisibly disabled you get laughed at by doctors and ignored. If it's hard for you guys imagine that difficulty increased by 100%.

I try to be really visible when I'm working in a position I know has my back. I really try to educate young people and children on what my disability looks like and I hope disabled kids and kids who eventually become disabled can see me and know that their lives are valuable and they are valuable. And it is possible to find joy in your life and reasons to keep living. And employers shouldn't be able to throw away our resumes and pay us less just cause we may need a little extra help. I know what everyone thinks when they see me in my wheelchair and using my walking sticks and when I tell them I need to take a break as I'm running out of spoons. I know their first thought is what the hell am I doing here if I'm in so much pain? When people see me by myself in my wheelchair they think I must have gotten lost and separated from my abled handler. I love my job, I love what I do, and I want to be able to keep doing it. But I can't work as long as an abled person, I can't do it without accommodations. Hell abled people shouldn't be working as long as they do either. I wish to live a life where I'm free to do the work I love without killing myself and still be able to live a comfortable life. Every disabled person, working or not, deserves to live a comfortable life.

[thedisablednaturalist]

"People are more accepting of young people having neurodivergence than physical disability" <- i get your example, but like, setting alarms and "getting better at time management" don't actually work for neurodivergent and mentally ill ppl. i get venting about it but it's a bit of an invalidating blanket statement idk ._.

anyway you can ignore this ask its really not a big deal and its understandable. just feel like writing it idk

I have adhd. Adhd does need medication to manage it, but it oftentimes needs a lot of lifestyle changes as well that include improving time management and using tools like alarms. So yes, if you are getting help because you keep being late for work because of your adhd and you are on ADHD meds, a counselor is usually going to want to work on time management with you. Only a psychiatrist can really give you the meds so if you're already on those the other other thing to do is improve your organization skills (or use a tool that makes it easier)

My lateness is not because of my adhd. I've already learned time management and I used to be quite good at getting places on time when it was only up to me and when I got my meds. But now that I'm physically disabled, I have new issues that do not have to do with time management. I need to learn how to manage my energy and pain so that I can actually get out of bed in the morning. I need help streamlining my routine so I don't have to do as much to get ready while I'm still waiting for my pain meds to kick in. I haven't been able to learn these things on my own and that's why I have a rehabilitation counselor. But my problem is she is treating it like the previous situation. It's not my time blindness that is making me late, it's that I literally move slower and I can't wake up on time because of PAIN.

She is more willing to work on managing my adhd than work on managing my chronic illness. Even though they are both disabilities and shes a disability counselor.

[thedisablednaturalist]

Hey thank you for linking that article about the amphibians road-crossing project! I am making plans to volunteer with them this season. It's just becoming spring here and I've noticed the amphibians beginning their migrations. I've always wanted to do something to help them but never knew how to go about it. Turns out it's super easy to volunteer with this program, so I'm going to gather up some friends and go help some lovely amphibians and the scientists that protect them!

Oh that's awesome! I'm so glad it helped you find a way to volunteer!

Most scientists who do this kind of stuff LOVE having extra hands on deck to help. We usually aren't given a lot of staff so volunteers are a life-saver. It never hurts to reach out and offer a helping hand!

[thedisablednaturalist]

is there a way i can support you?

The best way to support me honestly would be by supporting my other projects such as my vtubers @wyvernghost and my drag stuff GossimerXGradient on insta.

I do need a little help financially as I'm trying to get rid of my medical debt before my possible move across the country (which will be expensive). I'm thinking about putting up some of my worksheets for people to download up on kofi so that would help as well. Or you can just donate through tumblr as I have tips enabled.

[thedisablednaturalist]

I would definitely talk to the hiring manger if possible. HR is usually horrible, they are there to protect the company NOT to help you. It sounds like your boss is probably right about the liability thing, so I would not go to HR first if I could help it. It doesn't sound like you have a lot of options on who to go to to get the form filled out, unfortunately. Some doctors don't care at all and will just check the form without even seeing you, others will be more hesitant and detailed. I would come prepared with written out examples of times you have done all those things in your current job, and list accommodations you had to do so, so that if any question comes up you can address it. Wishing you good luck!!

The people I'd actually be working with seem really excited to have me join them, so I am hoping they'll be willing to work with me on this (they already said they are more than willing to work with me on the start date as I do have to, you know..move across the entire country lol). Unfortunately I don't know my doctor very well as I recently switched insurance. She seems very by the book. I've messaged her asking if she is able to fill the form out at our next appointment on Tuesday so we'll see. I'm just waiting to do the interview for the hybrid job position so I can have all my cards laid out on the table before I make any serious decisions. I also got another request for an interview by a different department just last Thursday lol. So I do have options luckily. Also this would be government HR so they may act differently than corporate HR