#working while disabled

[mushroomwillow]

Current situation with addition of; I had to pay neurologist out of pocket on my credit card or he wouldn’t see me. And my primary actually looked for the braces himself since the ones he has are stupidly expensive for the same thing

I also might be having seizures again, my hours have been cut, and so far no one will hire me for at least a job I can sit down doing that works with my kid.

Today going to look into that outschool thing, try to brainstorm how to teach the only thing that I know how to do, drawing, online somehow with only a phone to record. And get the rest of my art digitalized to sell.

And finish making my thumb brace. And fucking catch up on homework

[kingofkingsschizo]

This is what I wanna say publicly, fuck everyone that thought I wasn’t doing enough to satisfy what they thought I should be doing in my life comparing there achievements over me. Fuck them I don’t work a “normal” 9 to 5. Fuck them I didn’t need ablest around me. Yeah I went to school and got a degree and couldn’t work due to my symptoms. Guess what though, you all underestimate me.

I’m Wally aka DEFIANT a schizophrenic artist and I created to some a whole life time of work in less then 2 year by creating over 500 songs and counting. I never gave up on my god and he never gave up on me. Don’t listen to the Stigma and others ignorance. You are capable of still achieving

wallyakadefiant.bandzoogle.com

This music is dedicated to some mutual I met here on tumblr.

[robotgirlreal]

does any one have that one post about finding quick temporary online jobs while ur job searching irl

please. idk where it went i saved it for today and i cant find it. plz help.

[rosesandthorns44]

I lowkey forgot how helpful my grabber tool is for tidying up my room...

I can sit in a central location and just pick trash/laundry/recyclables and put them where they go!

I've had the dang thing for probably close to a decade. Why don't I use it? IDK. Internalized ableism? Imposter Syndrome? Denial?

I always tell myself, "I'm better now. I don't need all those things anymore," and avoid using any assistive devices unless I'm in so much pain I can barely move. It's bullshit! I'm making things so much harder for myself.

I keep thinking about getting a rollator so I can get out of the apartment more on my days off. Then I tell myself that's being overdramatic, and i don't need it. Lately, I'm resistant to even using my cane.

I get scared to go places on my own in case I get too tired! Clearly, I need SOMETHING.

I didn't use to be so self-conscious about visibly appearing disabled. It's more since I've entered the workforce, and I'm the only one at my company who uses mobility aids. Also, I got severely harassed/discriminated against by my ex-boss (reported her ass and got her fired!).

I'm fucking tired of being the odd one out at work and working in a completely NOT accessible building where the only mobility aid I even have the option to use is my cane.

Heavily considering applying to an independent living center a few cities over so I can be amongst peers and do some good for the local disabled community. It's just hard to make the leap and change careers.

[unfilteredrealities]

The brain fog is so badly these days. I don’t even remember my name at times. I forgot how to do the most basic skills and at times I forgot these days how to properly do my job.

I’m so fatigued and everything is hurting. Everything is so tensed up.

While I ate dinner tonight it hurt so much to open my mouth bcs my jaw was so tensed up…

I do not know when I take vacation time. I need it dearly but I know the moment I have off time, my health is fucking me over.

Was an exhausting work day. 70 calls. Some rude customers.

[datamodel-of-disaster]

I just had my first formal project review at my new job.

It was all compliments.

No complaints. They were very satisfied with my work, felt my deliverables showed true analyst mindset and remarkable technical acumen, enjoyed cooperating with me, and found me pleasant to be around.

And I'm just...

The sheer difference, between working in a place where you are barely tolerated and one where you are appreciated.

I haven't magically become a better functional analyst in the last month. I was just as good at my previous job, where my bosses disliked me and sought out every possible reason to criticise me, ad absurdum.

Working in a place with bad vibes was such a mindfuck. Even though no one was outright rejecting or bullying me (besides one of my bosses, which was why I left in the end), I always felt faintly excluded and awkward. Unsafe.

You can tell when people don't like you, even if they're polite about it -even if they try hard to include you and be nice! Perhaps especially then. You can tell.

I had forgotten what it's like to work with people who like me.

In my head "having a job" had become synonymous with being in a state of constant, low-level distress and discomfort .

It's only now that I realize how awful my baseline had become. I'm constantly surprised at people being warm and genuine -especially because my new job is at a much bigger company with a lot less of a "we're all buddies here" vibe than my previous one.

Anyway. Guess I'm trying to say... sometimes it's not you.

Especially if you're disabled and have a history of professional failure/not meeting people's expectations/being too weird to have friends/etc, you are primed to accept people treating you badly, because well... you probably did something to deserve it, right? You should be grateful to have a job at all, right?

But sometimes it's not you.

Sometimes a place is just shit, and it's not because you're bad at the work or an unlikeable person.

So if you're currently hating your job and just biting your teeth because you don't think you'll be treated better elsewhere... this is your sign. Don't wait until you find yourself thinking about jumping in front of your commute train instead of getting on it every morning. There's better out there.

[sailor-cerise]

I hate how work makes me hurt.

I'm too tired at the end of the day to even play a video game or watch a show, and I ache head to toe.

[alreadytherenow]

You’re either an embarrassment

Or an idiot

Or a deserter

So I guess I’m an embarrassment for safety

Fuck me

[loki-zen]

been thinking a lot about how to talk about my needs now I’m in an actually understanding workplace, and I think it may well be necessary to put some work into getting across the concept of:

there are things that I will want to do and even like to do that it is nevertheless for the best I am strict with myself and don’t do them. (or am strict with myself and stick to certain rules and limits about doing them, even if it would be convenient to break or bend those just this once.)

And by ‘for the best’ I don’t just mean ‘better for me’, although that’s true - this is the strategy by which we can use me most efficiently, because I work faster and more accurately in the absence of sensory hangovers.

[mushroomwillow]

I’m in so much pain. My knees feel like they’re going to pop out at any second. My left thumb has been hyper extending so bad it’s probably going to do the same, and my fingertips keep going numb and it’s causing horrible wrist pain and I can’t hardly move that hand after a while.

But there’s like, no other work. I can’t find any other job. I do enjoy this job but idk how much longer my body can take it. I want to cry because I can’t even sleep with how bad I hurt.

I’m tempted to talk to my boss about switching positions at work but he’s already said me and two other people in this position are the best he has. I just don’t know how much longer I can keep doing it before I fall apart.

[kingofkingsschizo]

If you are a schizo like me and need to work to make ends meat pick your job wisely. As a schizo that worked I noticed I couldn’t work full time. While I went to college I worked maybe 3 days out the week on the weekends. I had to learn to structure my life with my symptoms. I had sleep issues and because of the antipsychotics I had fluctuations in the time I could fall asleep or I would wake up real late afternoon. I worked at night because these were the hour I had peak energy. I also found out I couldn’t work high pressure jobs like being a line cook. While I worked I did have episodes on the job and I couldn’t be consistent even though I was a hard worker. I found out something, clerical jobs suited me better for some reason. As I got older I had earned enough credits through social security from working that increase my social security benefits and it was best for me to live within my mean off the fix income then all the stressors that I encountered working. One thing I forgot to mention was that I had extreme social anxiety but being in a small town that was highly vested in the tourism industry, service jobs like food and beverage restaurants and hotels were the only options to work. I forced myself every time I entered the employee entrance to swallow my anxious feelings and proceed with the responsibility and duties assigned to me. In retrospect I think it might have conditioned my tolerance level to function with anxiety. I now do things like music and art these things bring me happiness and it’s true if you find something you love doing you won’t have to work a day in your life. Good luck schizos, I say go for it and work and go to higher education because you want to not just because this what others suggest or expect you to do. Protect your sanity and peace always.

Wally aka DEFIANT

[punkpinkpower]

listen sir the pillow fort is as much for your protection as it is mine

[learningfromlosing]

I feel this way about work as well. If you're going to have me check a box that tells you I'm disabled you should be able to expect that I will reasonably have to excuse myself from work at one point or another, and then still be able to complete the task I need to without it being too large of an upset for the rest of the company. I should be able to not feel like I'm a disgrace of a worker or that I am inherently bad at my job because I cannot accommodate a time that has to line up with a very important doctors appointment or needing to attain a necessary medication.

My fiance should not feel like he is lazy or irresponsible because he's exhausted trying to keep up with his demanding work schedule at his labor intensive 10+ hour shift and he needs to rest his body an extra day. He shouldn't have to feel like if he tells his boss that he needs an extra day after working a week with two extra shifts because his nerve damage is becoming unbearable that they will reprimand him for it and look down on him later on.

We shouldn't have to feel like we're either too slow/too much of a burden for a desk job or too damaged for a labor job. There should be something for all of us to be able to do, since some genuinely do want to work for a living, without it seeming like such an impossible expectation to have a job where they can appreciate your hard work and still accommodate your disability, without one impacting the other.

When I say “school should be disability accessible”, I don’t just mean we need handicap rails and EAs. Kids should be able to miss a day without failing out of school. You shouldn’t be dismissed from clubs because your attendance record is “spotty” (true story). I once missed an entire week of school because of a terrible, unending migraine. I was expected to keep up with my studies despite the blinding pain that came with working on my computer. When I heard my teachers say that you couldn’t miss exams, I asked what I would have to do to be excused from them. Their response? “Either get a doctor’s note an hour before the exam or death of an immediate family member.”

I cannot express how rigid this expectation was. First of all, with my condition, I wouldn’t have enough warning about my sickness to go to the doctor and request a note. For many people, this is exceptionally difficult, especially with the current shortage of medical professionals. Next, it ignores the fact that my schedule may not line with theirs because of my medical needs. Once, I had to visit a hospital a province away (which I was on the waiting list of for over a year) on the same day as an exam. I begged my mother not to take me because I was so nervous that I would be marked as an automatic fail. I was lucky enough to make it work, but that’s only because of my spectacular support system consisting of family members and wonderful doctors.

Disabilities aren’t always about needing a bus that can accommodate wheelchairs. It’s already difficult enough for many of us to maintain school attendance without the harsh punishments involved for skipping a day. We need to be able to miss school without being punished. Only than can you claim that the school is “accessible”

[unfilteredrealities]

I had 70 calls at work today 😭 Hope this won’t result into a crash 🥲

It was a productive day tho bcs I kinda gave 💯 at work and tried my best to make the clients happy and find solutions for them.

Working for a bank is wild tbh.

I’m glad that in theory it’s not a complain hotline but at times here and there there is an angry client that is like upsetti spaghetti.

At least my coworkers appreciate me and my effort I put in.

One of the people at work are annoying though and I feel it’s unfair just bcs they aren’t in the mood to put themselves on a non call status and chill longer on that and be on the phone while there is a call waiting line we have to work off :/ it could have went easier if they would have put some effort in too tbh and they are supposed to be an authority figure and be a model to us :)) 🤡

Anyway. I don’t care at this point. I can at least go with a good conscience to bed each night and I have higher chances to get a raise or a promotion.

[datamodel-of-disaster]

I need a work friend who is a real friend too.

Someone who gets that we’re both just there for the paycheck. Someone who doesn’t get annoyed at me taking breaks, who has my back like I have theirs, who knows it’s us against the bosses who are just looking for the right moment to fire us.

Like…

I can’t be the only one hanging on by the skin of my teeth. I can’t be the only one.

[cognitiveleague]

A(u???)DHD at work complaint # 4835925:

The amount of detail that says “I took your concerns seriously, investigated them in detail, and want to be sure you have all the information you may need to be able to compare against your own records and ensure everything is correct” to me often says “hahaha, bitch, I’ve got the receipts” to other people; I am both highly aware of this fact and highly aware that this knowledge doesn’t prevent me from having the overpowering urge to (helpfully!!!) show my work in as much detail as possible whenever someone thinks their statement is wrong.

(They’re probably going to either ghost me or get pissed, this time, as they are much more likely to assume I’m trying to call them out / argue with them when the bottom line is “so on inspection, there was a small error with X and Y, but the balance on your statement does appear to be correct, if the attached billing history isn’t missing any payments you have a record of having made. Do you, uh… do you want me to send you the exact same statement, but with the actual date of the initial missed payment instead of the date the computer ended up putting the balance on when it confused itself about which payments were meant for which appointments?”)