#write things down keep an agenda whatever all those tips rely on 1) remembering you actually have that and 2) remembering to check it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

missmentelle · 5 years

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Tips for following and managing deadlines in college and as an adult? I didn’t realize adulthood requires so much paperwork

Adulthood does require a lot of paperwork (as does my specific job), and I have also sometimes struggled to keep up with it at times! I have ADHD that I manage without medication, and that has required me to come up with a lot of creative strategies for managing deadlines and responsibilities. If you’re struggling, I recommend:

Use the technology that’s available. There are a lot of apps and programs out there to help you keep track of things, and many of them are free. Ideally, look for apps that you can sync across multiple devices. I personally relied on Google Calendar to get me through graduate school - you can enter deadlines and tasks, and set up reminders for yourself to jog your memory. It also gives you a visual look at your schedule, so you can see where you have space to slot extra tasks into your day. In addition to Google Calendar, I recommend checking out Any.Do, Habitica, Bear, EverNote, and 24Me. You can also use the built-in reminder app on your phone, and if remembering to jot things down is a struggle for you, iPhone users can verbally tell Siri to set a reminder for them - I use this function of Siri several times per day. There is no shame in being dependent on technology to manage your life; there are great programs out there, and it’s okay to use the tools that are available. It doesn’t matter which app you choose, or how many apps you choose - it’s about finding a system that works for you.

Try bullet journalling or using an organizer. If technology just doesn’t work for you, you can also try using pen-and-paper methods to keep your life on track. You can find pre-made organizers and agendas at any bookstore, complete with calendars, to-do lists and daily agendas. If you want more control over format, you can also look into starting a bullet journal. It may take a while to set up your bullet journal and get the hang of using it, but when you’re done, you have a fully customized organizational system that can help you track whatever needs tracking in your life. I personally use a bullet journal, and I find it immensely helpful.

Invest in a filing cabinet. Shoving important documents into random drawers and cupboards is an excellent way to not be able to find those documents when you need them. Invest in a small filing cabinet, and take an afternoon to sort and label your important papers. All your essential ID documents, school paperwork, financial paperwork, etc, should be properly sorted and labelled so that you know exactly what documents are where. The time that you spend creating and setting up this system will save you a lot of panicked hours digging through random piles of paperwork you shoved into a drawer in the future.

Automate whatever tasks you can. If your bill payments can be automated, do it. If you have products that you regularly use, set up an automatic order of them on Amazon. If you’re going on vacation and don’t want to waste hours emailing everyone to let them know, set up an automatic reply that lets people know when you’ll be back. If it can be automated, automate it. The best way to keep track of deadlines is to minimize the number of deadlines you need to keep track of. You’ll save yourself a lot of time and stress.

Write everything down. The easiest way to miss a deadline is to forget to write it down. Never assume that you are going to remember something just because you promised yourself you would. If you have something you need to remember, jot it down, enter it into whatever organizational tool you are using, and make sure you set a reminder. Seeing all your tasks written out can help you figure out which deadlines are coming up first, and plan your time accordingly.

Do chores on a schedule. Trying to wing your deadlines and household chores is a really awesome way to find yourself frantically doing laundry at 2 in the morning because you have a big presentation in the morning and you’re totally out of clean clothes. Figure out a regular weekly schedule for your chores, and enter them into your calendar. Not only will this help you visualize how much time your chores take up every week, but doing chores regularly saves you a lot of time and energy - it’s much better to spend 10 minutes per week wiping down the shower stall, rather than spending 3 hours trying sandblast a month’s worth of soap scum off the tub.

Break large projects down into small, manageable chunks. Let’s say you have a huge term paper due three months from now at the end of the semester. Your grades and sanity both depend on you not waiting until the last minute to write that paper. But when you think about how much work needs to be done to write that paper - thinking of a topic, researching, outlining, writing, proofreading, citing, formatting, etc - it’s easy to get completely overwhelmed, and procrastinate working on the paper until the 11th hour. Instead of having an all-out, last-minute panic, start by breaking large projects down into tasks that don’t seem so daunting. If you need to write a 20-page paper with at least 10 cited sources, start by giving yourself 2 weeks to find 5 good sources to cite. Then in the next two weeks, find 5 more sources to cite. Then in the two weeks after that, write the outline. You get the picture. When tasks are broken down, it becomes a lot less overwhelming to do them, and you make much better progress.

Learn to prioritize. There are two things you need to think about when you’re trying to prioritize a task - how urgent it is, and how important it is. An urgent task is one that has to be done soon; an important task is one that has a very important outcome for you. All the tasks in your life fall somewhere on the urgent-important spectrum. If tax deadline is in three days and you haven’t filed yet, filing your taxes is both urgent and important. Taking the garbage out when the can is full is urgent, but not important - nothing in your life will go terribly wrong if you don’t do it. If you want to be a writer someday, working on your writing is important, but not urgent - there’s no deadline, but your life will be hugely negatively impacted if you don’t do it. In general, when you’re prioritizing, tasks should be done in the following order: important + urgent > urgent but not important > important but not urgent > neither important nor urgent. Sometimes, prioritizing means letting things slide if they aren’t worth the time and effort to do them. When you’re a student, this often means taking a hard look at how important something is. If you have a pop quiz tomorrow that’s worth 2% of your grade, and a midterm in two days worth 25% that you are completely unprepared for, your best bet is to take a quick skim of your pop quiz notes and spend the bulk of your time studying for the midterm, even if it means getting a mediocre grade on the quiz.

Overestimate how much time you’ll need to complete a project. How much time do you think it’s going to take you to finish that homework assignment that’s due next week? Think about all the contingencies - assume that you get stuck a couple times and have to scour the internet for answers, or call up your friend who took the class last semester. Maybe you estimate that the assignment should take 4 hours total to complete. Perfect - now schedule yourself 6-8 hours to actually get it done. People tend to dramatically overestimate their own efficiency, and underestimate the time it takes them to actually finish important tasks. If you don’t want to be scrambling all the time, the best thing you can do is intentionally overestimate how much time you need.

Do a regular “life audit”. Every 1-2 weeks, block out some time to sit down and take stock of everything that’s going on in your life. How did the previous week go? Did you get everything done that you needed to? Is there anything you need to catch up on? What are the things that are coming up in your life? What needs to get done this week? Are you making progress toward your goals? How’s the household chore situation? What do you need to prioritize for the week ahead? Is there anything that you’re wasting too much time on? Are there any papers or files that you need to put away in your filing cabinet before they get lost? Checking in with yourself regularly gives you a chance to catch small issues before they can snowball into enormous problems.

Staying on top of deadlines is a skill, and it’s easy to mess up every now and then. We all do it. The key is to keep trying, and to keep striving for improvement.

Best of luck to you!

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youdecode · 4 years

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How to stop seeking validation?| 15 Best ways for how to trust yourself?

External validation is making your head spin . . . it is lowering your self-confidence and shattering you from within.

If you are wondering how to stop seeking validation from others and be self sufficient then this blogpost has got you covered with the essentials.

Yes, you can regain your self image with just few steps.

Ready let’s dig in:

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15 Insanely Powerful Low Self Confidence Tips

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33 Ways of Self-love When Life is Tough

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1# Take a social media break

Is most of your time sucked up by social media?

Well, time to take social media break then because it is a place where external validation starts.

You need to go on a detox and nourish your mindset about yourself to eliminate the comparison which is throwing you towards anxiety.

You truly do not need all those likes or comment to reinforce your self image.

Do you?

2# How to stop seeking validation: Be mindful

Keep track of your everyday achievements.

There is no hint of self-obsession in this point.

Rather this tracking will ensure that you are aware of your self worth each second.

Through this journal, you will able to also look for improvements in your everyday achievements which will eliminate the need for self-validation in the first place.

Yes, you have to acknowledge your skills, talents, and abilities for self-validation.

3# Check your behavior

Are you actively ask people about their opinion?

Are you then changing your opinion and drifting it to align with what others think?

Why are you asking others in the first place?

Because you are stuck in insecurity, doubt, and uncertainty.

Every action which you take today comes from the belief system present in your subconscious mind.

How does this system develop in the first place?

The repetition of the mental note “I am not good enough” constructs this system.

You need to get rid of the old belief system and make a new one filled with self-worth.

*****Learn how to build self-worth here. *****

4# Try To Understand Why You’re Seeking Approval

Question yourself why you are not seeking self-validation.

This is vital if want to stop seeking external validation

Next time when you begin to doubt yourself and start seeking validation I need you to answer these.

Journal them out or solve such questions mentally.

“Why don’t I trust my own opinion on this matter?”

“Why am I uncertain?

“Why I need the approval and what difference it will make?”

5# A specific way of journaling Your Thoughts

You have to figure out your internal struggle for battling this external validation syndrome.

Grab a thoughts journal

Every day fill a page about the thoughts you had

By the end of the week review the pages

Circle the most consistent thought or feeling you had the entire week

Fix the feeling if contributes in diminishing your self-confidence

6# Learn To Accept Yourself For Who You Are

Do you accept yourself in any way?

Do you practice self-acceptance all the time?

Is that acceptance unconditional?

Do you worry about what other people think instead of focusing on whether it makes you happy or not?

It is hard to accept ourselves as we are. We will find more flaws in ourselves than someone else ever could.

If you will learn to accept yourself under every situation only then you will be able to ripe the seeds of self-confidence.

SHOW SOME LOVE FAMILY & PIN THIS FOR LATER FAM!

7# Practice Self-Love

How much do you care for your close friend?

Rate this on a scale of 1 to 10.

Now the same question flips for you. How much do you care for yourself?

Are cherishing your being?

Are you doing every kind of thing that is vital for practicing self-care?

Are you practicing self-compassion?

8# Trust yourself

I want you to answer that how much do you trust yourself?

Again on a scale of 1-10. I know it is less than 10. What can be done about it?

How to trust yourself?

By not putting others before yourself. By getting rid of Approval seeking personality

9# Try To Think Like A Millennial

If you are a true millennial then you need to prove it.

How?

By being more comfortable with yourself.

If you are not aware then it is known that millennial possess an enormous amount of self-confidence and they will be confident with whatever they bring to plate.

So, girls act like one.

10# Make friends with rejection.

This one is easy to do.

If I ask you to think about the times when you faced rejections or failed to meet expectations then you will have no problem.

You will come up with a list of events when you disappointed yourself.

Now tell me how you overcame such a situation.

What was the process of recovering from that slip-up and what you actually learned?

I am sure it helped you grow.

Remember that you are seeking validations because of previous failures and disappointments but get one thing straight: rejection is your friend.

11# Embrace a growth mindset

Another way of not seeking external validation is by embracing a growth mindset.

Prioritize learning as through learning you will be constantly improving and evolving.

This improvement and growth within you will make you free from seeking external validation.

People with a fixed mindset will take any comment, disapproval, and failure as a sign of disappointment and thus will be forced to seek validation.

I have especially inked this detailed resource for mindset improvement. Warning: It is powerful.

12# Focus on the process, not

outcomes.

Become process-oriented rather than the outcome.

Are you too attached to the results?

If you will be running after outcomes then you are prone to have an approval-seeking behavior.

So just focus on improving the process. How will it help?

Well, you will not weigh your self worth with the results you get.

Rather you will appreciate the drill and efforts involved.

Question yourself: Am I narrowly attached to the promotion?

If yes then I am relying on external standards for appreciation.

Don’t take validation from things that you cannot control.

13# Understand and prioritize your agenda.

If you do not want to rely on external validation then you have to get clear about what really matters to you.

What is your priority?

What is the thing which you will never negotiate on?

You need to sink into the habit of prioritizing your agendas.

Understand your wants and stick to them.

14# Be kind to yourself and say a definitive, “no”.

You need to stop nodding your head for a yes.

I have seen a lot of people who have a hard time saying no.

You need to stop people-pleasing because let’s get honest here: people do not care in the end.

It is you who matter.

You cannot make everyone happy but you have the ability to make yourself happy.

Then why not take a route which is worth offering a satisfactory, and fulfilled life.

Do not let go of your plans just because someone has different expectations.

This is a form of Seeking validation from others.

You have to be kind enough to yourself. So next time when anyone unintentionally interrupts your plans just be kind and say a definitive no.

Trust me, people will respect you for that.

Learn to validate yourself.

Self validation & internal validation is what will get rid of your approval seeking behavior.

15# A rewarding way of journaling

I excessively blog about journaling.

There are countless ways of inking out anything, yes like anything.

I have already mentioned about journaling out your thoughts.

Now is the time to journal for self-discovery.

You have to write down three things you love about yourself.

Ink three things down every day. Are you like, “Eisha it is hard to come up with 3 things every day.”

Trust me, it is not.

How will this help:

You will not seek others to validate because you are enough of reminding yourself of the incredible power you possess.

If you are a bit confused about this process then I will highly suggest you check this resource related to self-discovery.

Explore journaling incredible prompts.

Final words for how to stop seeking validation:

From now on Become conscious of the time, of the instances when you have put others before yourself.

Valuing others and loving them does not mean that compromising your identity.

The best way of stop seeking validation is through self value.

This self love mini kit is sure to help you.

Explore the best ways through which you can celebrate your existence everyday

. . . to live a life you deserve.

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