#the only times i actually remembered was when my parents were like wow your hands are dirty today so i was like !! almost forgot!!

[aroaceofthesea]

Ppl who aren't out of sight out of mind kind of people will never understand the writing something important that you cant forget on your hand and then forgetting to look at your hand

[skzdarlings]

part v: bodyguard!felix x reader

masterlist.

PART I ; PART II ; PART III ; PART IV ; PART V ; PART VI ; PART VII ; PART VIII ; PART IX ; FINAL PART.

( READ ON AO3. )

Your father hires an inconspicuous bodyguard to accompany you at school and supervise you at home. What seems like an innocuous change in routine eventually spirals into a forbidden romance that grows more passionate over the years.

pairing: lee felix/reader content info: smut. violence. parental abuse. situations of intense peril overall. forced proximity. enemies2lovers. angst with eventual happy ending. (chapter word count; 18k words)

warning for this chapter: the usual story dynamic plus explicit violence, threatening behaviour, mentions of homophobia, implied suicidal ideation, and explicit sexual content.

-

Jisung sighs with agonizing sorrow as he turns his baseball cap around.  He tugs the brim low then steeples his hands on the desk. 

“I see,” he says grimly.  “I understand.  You found paradise in Hyunjin.  You had a good friendship, it made a good romance.  So you didn’t need a friend like me.  Now you come to me and say, ‘Han Jisung, come bowling with me and my evil boyfriend.’  But you don’t ask with respect.  You come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married and you ask me to go bowling—”

“We’re in earth science right now,” Felix says, bemused. 

“He’s quoting a movie,” you say.

“Ah.”

“And for the last time, Hyunjin is not my boyfriend,” you say.  “We’re just… hanging out.” 

Your second ‘date’ with Hyunjin was once more a family affair as your father invited him and his parents to the mansion for lunch.  It was professionally catered because your father does nothing by halves, so at least the food was good.  You and Hyunjin were mostly silent in the company of your parents, but you were allowed to walk around the yard by yourselves after. 

He looked good because he always looks good, in a fuzzy purple sweater and name-brand jeans.   His charisma was dwindled to nothing, though.  He kept his fists curled up in the sleeves of his sweater and smiled a lot of forced smiles.  His parents’ presence clearly does a number on his mentality.  He did unwind somewhat when you were finally alone, but it was hard to shake the feeling of observation, their eyes stalking your every step like animals in a zoo. 

“Maybe we should just have sex on the ground here,” you said dryly.  “See if that satisfies them.”

He burst out laughing at that, an endearingly wheezy sound that made you giggle too.   

“Wow,” he said, shaking his head.  “When you make jokes like that I remember you and Han Jisung really are best friends.” 

“Guilty,” you said with a snort.  “Stupid jokes is what is friendship is all about.” 

He smiled at the subject of friendship.  His expression was full of so much warmth, very contrary to his polite but cold countenance during lunch when he only flirted appropriately. 

You like Hyunjin as a friend and you think he might feel the same way, hence the reservation on both your parts to truly commit to this farce of a relationship.  It feels wrong to use him to keep your father happy.  

You caught his eye this morning in the school corridor, sharing a smile as you crossed paths.  Even though a true relationship has not been defined, you told him you wanted to tell Jisung before you started hanging out at school. 

You made the mistake of saying this within earshot of Hyunjin’s parents.  His father unfortunately overheard you, enquiring as to the identity of this Jisung. 

“Just her little school friend,” your father said.  “Nobody important.” 

Jisung might be nobody important to your father but he is still your friend.   And unlike your father, who merits the value of life on business calculations, the first question Jisung asks is, “Does he make you happy?” 

Felix is scribbling in his notebook but lifts his head at that question.  You cannot look at him directly because you know it will shatter your very careful mask. 

“Hyunjin is actually really nice when you get to know him,” you say, because the best lie has a hint of truth in it.  “And I really do like spending time with him.  So… it would make me happy if you could be happy for me too.”   

Jisung scrutinizes you, then glances at Felix who has gone back to scribbling in his notebook.  Eventually Jisung smiles and spins his cap backwards. 

“If you’re happy, I’m happy,” Jisung says.  He turns very dark and serious when he says, “But that pretty rich boy is paying for my nachos.”

You catch up to Hyunjin in the hallway.  He laughs when you tell him Jisung’s stipulation. 

“I think I can afford it,” he jokes, then quirks an eyebrow.  “Jisung… He doesn’t know about your dad, does he?”   

“Only a bit,” you say, thinking back to the countless times you abstractly complained about your father to him.   “I mean, he knows he’s strict but he doesn’t know why.  I complain about some stuff but… I don’t really go into detail.”  Truth be told, you like that your friendship with Jisung is so far removed from your home life.  He has nothing to do with your father or your wealth or your abuse.  He likes you for you and that has always been the case. 

“What about Felix?”  Hyunjin asks.  He nods behind you because Felix is never too far away.  He is blending in as inconspicuously as he can, pretending to read notices on a bulletin board. 

“What about him?” you say, heat creeping up your neck.  You hope you appear casual.

“How close are you?”  Hyunjin asks, his casual tone coloured with a hint of suggestion, like he already knows the answer. 

You suppose anyone might assume Felix has a crush on you seeing as he is never far from your side.  There is little explanation that a civilian could glean other than Felix being clingy or lovesick.  No one would guess it is his job to trail after you. 

But the suggestion is difficult to rebuke because your true feelings get all twisted up inside you.  You and Felix do like each other – too much for your own goods.  Though there has not been a reprise of the other morning, in fact you have not mentioned it once, there is a new electricity in all of your touches.  That exchange did not satisfy or quell any desires, in fact it seemed to accomplish the opposite.  When you wake in the morning to him so close, your heart turns into a thunderstorm and it sends sparks flying through every inch of your body. 

You want him more than ever.  You also hope you never get him or you will never find the resolve to let go. 

“He’s just my—”  You cannot force the word friend.   “He’s just Felix,” you say.  “He drives me crazy, to be honest.”  That much is true.   

Hyunjin’s brow furrows.  He looks at Felix then turns your body so he is blocking you from sight.  He leans in close to speak. 

“He isn’t bothering you, is he?”  Hyunjin asks.  “Because if he is—”

A sharp laugh jumps out of you.  The offer of protection is unexpected and unintentionally amusing.  You have seen Felix in the midst of his training, his body a well-honed instrument that he knows and controls with utmost precision.  Hyunjin uses his body in a different way, playing to his strengths with his showmanship, but he would be no match in confrontation. 

Not that he knows it.  His offer is very sincere. 

You gaze at him, studying his kind but determined face.  You remember how Hyunjin was expelled from his old school for fighting with another boy, supposedly over a girl.  You read the report yourself and you recall how the other boy was badly pulverized.  It is hard to picture Hyunjin doing something like that, but you know how violence often lurks in unassuming places. 

“Thank you,” you say.  “But it’s fine.  Really.” 

You guide the conversation back to bowling and it distracts him well enough. 

At least you were allowed to plan this date.  Your father essentially ordered you to go on a solo date with Hyunjin, except you could not be truly alone because Felix had to be there.  When you questioned the logistics of that, your father said to work it out, that he would heed Felix’s discretion on the matter. 

Fortunately, even with things tense between you, Felix does take your opinion into consideration.  He agreed when you suggested a casual venue where you could hang out with Hyunjin and better acquaint him with your friends.  

You are still not sure how long this charade is meant to continue, but for now you try to enjoy having another friend. This turns into a daunting task.  Your social skills are lacklustre to say the least and attempting to befriend Hyunjin’s huge circle of friends proves perilously overwhelming.  Fortunately, Hyunjin doesn’t take offense when you bail early at lunch to sit with Jisung instead.  Hyunjin has a lot of friends but none with whom he is especially close. 

“Having a best friend isn’t all it’s cracked up to be,” you joke, watching Jisung bowl by swinging the ball two-handedly between his legs.  You slouch in your seat as if embarrassed by him, shaking your head while Hyunjin laughs. 

“He’s funny,” Hyunjin says. 

“Then why do you antagonize him?” you ask, lightly but curiously.    

“Because it’s fun,” he says with a smirk, making you laugh and Felix chuckle.  “And easy.”

The three of you watch Jisung wail as his ball predictably rolls into the gutter. 

“Fair enough,” you say.  

You can tell Hyunjin has his guard up.  It does not make him unkind but he is less personable even while he is more charismatic.  You know that persona is in place to protect him, that Hyunjin wears happiness and charm the way you wear ire.  Although they are contrary dispositions, both keep people at bay. 

Jisung, being Jisung, manages to slip through the cracks of that guarded wall, much like he did you.  You got to know Jisung slowly then all at once, empty moments passing between you until one day you realized he had long passed the guarded gate. 

You are mulling this over when you spot him.   You are so surprised that you choke on your soda and sputter the liquid painfully out of your nose.  Your spontaneous violent hacking startles the boys, all of them jumping then fussing over you.  

You are still coughing when Lee Minho approaches.  

Hyunjin and Jisung do not see him at first, too pre-occupied with wiping your shirt and asking if you are okay.  It is Felix who spots Minho next, realization dawning on his face before his expression sours.  You have been seeking that reaction, looking for the vaguest hint of jealousy or at least acknowledgement.  Felix does not seem very intimidated by Hyunjin, even when he flirts with you or touches you.  He can probably tell your feelings are only friendly.  But you did like Lee Minho once and he knows that. 

Your heart skips beats when you and Felix look at each other.  He has not been holding your gaze lately, quick to look away when you catch him staring.  It sounds strange to say that you miss him when he is sleeping in your bed every night, but you ache with the loss of intimacy.  He is the first person you see in the morning and the last face you see at night, but he has never felt farther away.  Even your very first night together involved more genuine interaction. 

If he truly did not want you, it would be easier.  But when you do catch him staring, his eyes are intense, his gaze forever thoughtful.  When he is not minding his actions, he naturally leans towards you just as you do him, orbiting planets around the light of your stars.   

Jisung likes you as a friend, Hyunjin likes you as an ally, but Felix knows every part of you, the good and the bad, the normal and the crazy.   When he touches you, he touches all of you, and you feel like a whole person, full of more life and possibility than you ever thought you could be.  You told yourself not to rely on his touches and maybe you should have listened, maybe this withdrawal would not ache so terribly now, but you cannot bring yourself to fully regret it. 

What you want is to reach across this table and hold his face, to bring it close to yours.  Even if you don’t kiss, it would be enough to have him close, his breath on your lips and his freckled cheeks warm under your palms. 

You will take what you can get, basking in the devoted attention of his gaze as your former crush approaches the table. 

Minho comes up behind Hyunjin and smacks a hand onto his shoulder, startling him. 

“I could hear you from the parking lot, Hwang Hyunjin,” Minho teases.  “How many degrees was it again?” 

When the rival popular boys were both at school, their interactions were minimal despite their reputations.  Their few encounters were only jokingly hostile, one running gag revolving around Minho cooking Hyunjin in an air-fryer. 

“One-hundred-eighty degrees,” Hyunjin completes the joke.  He laughs with everyone else but he is blushing scarlet from the tips of his ears all down his neck. 

It is strange.  Hyunjin is a physical person, at least when performing.  This is the same guy who made out with his girlfriend in a classroom.  The same guy who got detention on his first day for skipping class to fool around with some girl.  And yet his shoulder dips as if Minho’s hand is too heavy to bear, as if he is overwhelmed by the touch. 

Hyunjin once remarked on your powers of observation.  It is especially easy to read someone when their behaviour is similar to your own.  Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.  The stilted proximity, the way they naturally lean towards each other, so heavily affected by the simplest touch on the shoulder. 

How they absolutely cannot bring themselves to meet eyes.  

Minho talks to your table, friendly enough, but it is obvious he has no idea who the rest of you are.  He only knows Hyunjin, and he addresses Hyunjin directly, but he does not look at Hyunjin for more than a few seconds, and they do not look at each other at the same time. 

Eventually, Minho squeezes the back of Hyunjin’s neck and Hyunjin curls up his fingers.  Minho smiles and says his goodbyes, casual, friendly, sparing one final glance at Hyunjin that Hyunjin does not return.   Hyunjin reaches for his glass and takes a drink while Minho leaves to join his own friends across the room. 

You wonder if Felix registered any of it, but he is still frowning at Minho’s retreating back.  You suppose he was watching you more than Hyunjin.  Jisung is taking a picture of his abysmal bowling score. 

You look at Hyunjin but he is smiling again.  He offers to pay for dinner, swiftly diverting the conversation in that direction.  Jisung goes with him to counter to order, leaving you and Felix alone. 

Felix has gone back to feigned indifference, sipping from his soda as he stares at nothing particular. 

“I need to be alone with Hyunjin for a bit,” you say.  That quickly snaps his attention to you.  “I just want to talk to him.” 

“Talk,” Felix says, lifting an eyebrow.  “Uhh, about what?”

“If it was your business, I wouldn’t need to be alone with him,” you say curtly.  You are being intentionally antagonistic with that one, but you get a little thrill when it succeeds in piquing his interest.  You suppose you have always resorted to bad behaviour for attention.  Encouraged by the heat darkening his gaze, you flutter your eyelashes and drawl, “My daddy would get mad if you got in the way of us, you know.” 

He laughs with disbelief.  Stubborn as ever, he looks away, popping an elbow on the table and digging his fist into his temple.   

“What?” you say with exaggerated innocence.  “Wouldn’t he, Felix?  Doesn’t he think I’m a bad girl who needs a good boy to fix her?” 

He looks at you, just a sideways glance out of the corner of his eye, but it gets you so hot that you momentarily forget your whole endeavour.  

He drops his arm with a thump, smiling at you with all that performative saccharine sweetness.  It is the smile he projects when he is convincing the world he is just sweet, innocent Lee Felix.  Beanie, flannel, ripped jeans, just another guy, cute and unassuming.

He stands and swiftly turns on the heel of his foot, slapping a hand down on the back of your seat so you instinctively lean back.  He follows you down, in your face when he speaks in that low, honeyed voice, “Hyunjin doesn’t have what it takes for that, sweetheart.”   

Then he is back in his seat, arms crossed and back to ignoring you. 

“I hate you,” is what naturally falls from your lips, no other word sufficing to summarize the sheer inundation of feelings.

The corner of his lips quirk up in a little grin.

He is the present bane of your existence, but Felix does oblige your request.  At the end of the evening, he purposefully leads Jisung away with some empty distraction, holding conversation while watching you over his shoulder.   He does not go far, but far enough to be out of ear-shot. 

Hyunjin is bent down, changing his shoes, and it takes you a minute to muster the nerve to speak. 

“Hyunjin,” you finally say, your voice coming out weaker than you intended. 

Your tone is usually sharp so the unexpected softness has him tensing before he even lifts his head.  When he does, it is with a dimpled smile, handsome and so polite. 

You scrub a hand over your face, shaking your head, trying to think of something to say.   You do not want to put him in an awkward spot, but you definitely do not want him walking into a worse situation because of ignorance. 

“You… you weren’t expelled for fighting… were you?” you finally ask.  “And you and Minho weren’t enemies.”  

His expression caves, a sharp breath parting his lips.  He stares at you for a long moment, flickering between a fake laugh, anger, fear, and finally resignation. 

“How did you…” he starts, then laughs without any humour, dry and airy as he pushes his hair back.  “You really are good at seeing people, huh.” 

“I stand by what I told you at that party,” you say.  “That I’m sorry you feel like you have to hide the best parts of yourself.  But as your friend, I need you to understand… my father is a very, very dangerous man.  He uses people.  All the things that make you who you are… he will just categorize them statistically and work out how to use those things against you to benefit him.” 

He covers his mouth and stares at the ground, looking contemplative.  After some time, he drops his hand, and speaks in an unsteady voice that makes him seem very young.  “I can handle it,” he says.  “My father…”  Another dry laugh.  “I had a… friend… at my whole school.  My father found us together.  He tried to get him leave me alone but… stupid kid… he didn’t listen.  So my dad hired this thug, I mean, I didn’t even know you could do that… He shook him up and we paid off the family and then he moved me here and he said… he said…”  His voice trails off and you don’t think he will find it again. 

“Image,” you say.  “Expectation.  Whatever.” 

He huffs a breath, rolls his eyes, laughs again. 

“Yes,” he says.  “I thought it would be easy.  He wasn’t asking me to change, just pretend.  I said… well, that’s not that bad, it could be worse.  It’s worse for other people.  I can pretend.  But it’s not easy and…”  He sucks in an unsteady breath, his face crinkling with emotion.  His voice is strained when he continues, “I don’t like lying, and just because I don’t like girls it doesn’t mean I like using them.  You were the final straw, I just…”  He rubs his temples and shakes his head.  “I just need to get through this year.  I can move out after school but… my dad won’t give me access to my savings until the end of the year and only if I can show him I’m… ‘better’.  So I… I need to get through this year.” 

“Hyunjin, I want to help you,” you say, “but you need to know what you’re getting into with me.  My father is more dangerous than just hiring a thug.  He is the thug, his whole operation is thugs.  He snaps his fingers and half the city is rearranging itself for him.” 

“You talk back to him a lot,” Hyunjin argues, a fact you cannot refute.  Though you are marginally better behaved in company, you are never truly docile. 

“Yeah,” you say with a helpless laugh, “but trust me, I’m messed up.”

“So am I,” he says.  “We can help each other.  Keep our dads off our backs for now then figure it all out.” 

Silence falls as you consider each other’s words.  You feel like no matter what choice you make, it will be the wrong one. 

“He works two jobs,” Hyunjin suddenly says, staring over your shoulder.  You don’t have to turn to know it is Minho, on the other side of the room, laughing with his friends.  “One is at a coffee shop.  On the weekends he teaches dance classes to kids.  His family isn’t well off but he is so casual about it that no one cares.  Things everyone else gets ashamed or embarrassed about just doesn’t seem to bother him.  I thought I hated him at first, because it all seemed so easy for him, and I was jealous because I thought I should be the lucky one.  Then one morning after a party I was hungover and bitching at him, and he just said tsk…”  Fondness creeps into his expression now, smoothing out the sadness that was there before.  “Then he made me some coffee and kissed me when I wasn’t expecting it.  I started working myself up about it and he called me idiot and did it again.”  He looks at you.  His voice is steady now.  “My dad would never make coffee for someone.  He doesn’t even know how.  He pays someone to do all that meaningless stuff for him.  Meaningless.  That’s all his life is.  He think it’s so important but it’s not.  But I know better.” 

He sits straighter and says with complete confidence, “My life will not be meaningless.  I just need to get through this year.” 

You know it is not so simple as that.  You do not see a light at the end of the tunnel the way he seems to do.  But he speaks with so much heartfelt conviction that you really do feel it for a moment. 

In the end, it is impossible not to take his hand. 

-

Felix is quiet on the car ride home.  You know despite the pretence, he is curious about you and Hyunjin.  His regard was a scrutinizing one, watching you hold hands until you said goodbye in the parking lot. 

But Felix is acting his role, an indifferent and professional bodyguard.  You take turns glancing at each other, occasionally catching eyes but looking away soon after. 

The house will be empty for the next couple weeks as your father is on a business trip overseas.  You strut confidently into the house with Felix on your heels.  You busy yourself with scrolling on your phone, pretending you do not hear his agitated sighs.  You plop yourself down on the couch and cross your legs.   

Felix stands in front of you, arms crossed.  You smile an excessively syrupy smile and bat your eyelashes.

“Yes?” you say.  “Can I help you?”   

“What are you doing with Hyunjin?” he asks. 

“You know what I’m doing with Hyunjin,” you say dryly, looking at your phone again.  “Just what my daddy said.”

“Okay but uhhh, you don’t like Hyunjin,” he says.  “And you definitely don’t like obeying ‘daddy’.”  He pitches up the word in a nasally whine to mock you, smiling when you glare. 

“Maybe I changed my mind,” you say.  Then you shrug like the whole thing is beneath you, like you could not care less about his reaction even while it is all you care about. 

You stand and knock shoulders when you brush past.  You make it a scarce foot before he grasps the back of your neck and guides you back to him, gentle and slow but ungiving in its demand.  Even when he lets go, you feel tingles where his fingertips so lightly pressed. 

You are standing close, almost cheek to cheek.  You can count each familiar freckle. 

“Are you free right now?” he asks, dropping his voice in such a suggestive way that you immediately feel flushed.  You nod without thinking too hard.  When you do, his face lights up with enthusiasm and he smiles, eyes oh-so adorably crinkled with mirth.  “Great!” he says.  “Put on exercise clothes and meet me in the gym for training.” 

He leaves the room in a brisk jog, waving over his shoulder.  You stand there for another moment, staring at the empty doorway and computing the whiplash of that whole ridiculous exchange.  

Never have you come so close to actually hating that abominable nightmare boy. 

You have clearly worked Felix into a mood, so you decide to be marginally complacent and do what he asks lest he hunt you down and force you to do push-ups in the bedroom.  We can work-out in the bedroom all right, you imagine yourself saying with a wink, knowing very well there is not a chance you would ever actually be able to say that.  Agitating him with a healthy dose of implication is different than outright stating it.  Though the look on his face would be funny. 

When you reach the gym, he is in sweatpants and a t-shirt just like you.  He is stretching in front of the mirror wall.  He smiles that sardonic smile through the reflection, beckoning you to join him.  You make sure to stomp as petulantly as possible, crossing your arms like a stubborn child when you reach the mirror. 

“You need to warm-up first,” he says.  “Do you know how to stretch?”

“Yes, I know how to stretch,” you say venomously, a useless lie since he has witnessed your pitiful demonstrations of athleticism in gym class.  He doesn’t comment, though, just lifts his eyebrows and says, “okaaaay,” before moving on. 

You copy a few of his stretches, though he makes his movements look easier than they are.  Then he makes you run a few laps around the room, simply smiling when you scowl at him.  You are pretty sure that part was just a petty punishment. 

Finally he sets up some mats and starts explaining basic tactical defense positions.  He clearly knows what he is talking about and the familiarity of the subject seems to ground him in his body.  It draws you into a similar state of relaxation and soon you find yourself actually listening to his instructions.  

You mirror a few of his positions, focussing on holding yourself steady, on finding your centre of gravity.   

“You won’t beat most people with brute strength,” Felix says.  “I mean, uhhh, ha-ha, I’m not exactly the biggest guy in the world, myself, you know?  It isn’t about that, though.  Look, feel your core strength…” 

You lose yourself in your concentration, watching your own motions in the mirror as he steps around you.  Your attention only fractures when he lays a hand on your shoulder.  He is just fixing your posture but your body does not seem to care that the action is casual.   You curse your own sensitivity and tell yourself to get over it, especially when he starts demonstrating more bodily manoeuvres, requiring you to put your hands on his arms or hands or shoulders. 

He acts unbothered the whole time, making you feel even more ridiculous.  Then he explains something while wrapping an arm around your neck from behind.  You step closer instinctively and your eyes widen when your backside collides with his front and you realize he is not as indifferent as he is acting.  It is only the vaguest stirring of interest, but his sweatpants do little for modesty. 

He nudges you away and clears his throat, continuing his lesson but with a little stutter.  You feel flustered and embarrassed too, somehow simultaneously craving this sort of evidence and also balking at it.  You actually masturbated in front of each other but for some reason it is more embarrassing when he catches you looking at the subtle imprint in his sweats.   He clears his throat again but continues the lesson like nothing happened.   When he steps up behind you again, you are both careful to keep your distance, his arm only hovering around you. 

“So the best thing in a situation like this—” he starts. 

“I know what to do,” you say, the tension so unbearable that if you do not shatter it, it will break you instead.  You abruptly swing your arm back, elbowing him in the gut.  You catch him by surprise and he stumbles back with an oof, holding his stomach and glaring with playful intensity. 

“Very funny,” he says and steps closer again. 

“This works too,” you say, giggling then stomping on his foot.  It isn’t very hard but it is unexpected so he curses, taking a playful swipe at you when you skip away. 

“Mature,” he says sarcastically, but with a genuine smile.  You stick your tongue out at him and he reaches again, laughing when you dance out of arm’s reach. 

He chases after you and you yelp when he catches up, his retaliation a truly heinous, punitive tickle attack.  You squeal and laugh in his arms, squirming to get away and apologizing through your shrieks.  He just laughs, continuing his evil barrage of tickles.   You get tangled together in your flailing, stumbling around and eventually landing in a giggling heap in front of the mirror. 

Finally he stops, just as winded from laughter.  You are sitting between his legs, slouched against his chest, facing the mirror as you pant and wind down from your giggles. 

You look at each other through the reflection, the longest you have held each other’s gaze in a while.  It feels different, less direct, but also more complete.  You see yourself as well as him, sitting in a fairly intimate position and looking for all the world like a normal young couple, glowing with carefree happiness. 

You take a few steadying breaths.  He does as well.  The rush of your game settles.  In the absence of laughter, the room is quiet.  The whole house is quiet, a big empty space with the two of you alone in one small room, securely tucked away in your privacy, looking at each other through a mirror. 

He swallows. 

Your heart is racing and not from any playful exertion.  He has a hand on your elbow and the other on your knee, but he is holding very still, as if a move in any direction will be catastrophic.  He is probably right to think that. 

You touch his hand anyway, holding his gaze in the mirror while you slide his hand from your knee to your thigh.  His brow pinches, expression contorted as if in pain, though the hardening press of him against your backside tells you it is not pain. 

He says your name.  Then he sighs, closes his eyes, and rests his temple against your head. 

“Sweetheart,” he says, drawing out all the softness of heart in his low drawl.  You whimper, from that or his touch, his hand high on your thigh.  Even through your clothes, his touch burns, waking nerves where it roams. 

“Please,” you say, watching his face through his mirror.  Finally he meets your gaze there, dark eyes on your face as he lets you guide his hand between your legs.   

One deft stroke through your clothes has you making a sound like a sob.  It pulls him over the brink of his hesitation, leaving it all behind as he cups you with a possessive sort of determination.  His touch is clumsy and desperate but you don’t care, because it’s him. 

It all seems to happen so fast and not fast enough, two pairs of nervous hands pushing and pulling.  He tugs your knee over his, spreading your legs wide, and slides his hand into your sweats while you buck back against him.  Your eagerness overwhelms you so he shushes gently in your ear, his free hand splayed across your collarbone.  His forehead is pressed into the side of your head and he looks at you sideways through the mirror.  You nod, holding his gaze as he touches you properly. 

It is a fumbling, hungry touch, the hunger of someone who thinks he might never eat again after all this plenty.   He might be right.  He might be wrong.  It doesn’t matter right now.  You give yourselves over to the experience, as raw and inelegant as all that earnest passion is. 

Your breathing is loud enough to fill the whole room, the whole house, broken sighs and guttural moans louder than the yelling that usually fills this place.  His touch is only surface, not daring to go so far as putting his fingers inside you, even while rubbing his fingers through all that wet desire.  Your knee is hooked over his, keeping you helplessly open under his touch when you come.  He looks at you with an incredulous sort of amazement, then his eyes close and his low moan turns to a broken whimper as tumbles over the edge too. 

You are both breathing hard in the aftermath, eyes closed, heads touching.  You slowly bring your leg back and he slowly withdraws his hand.  You look into the mirror when you take his hand, when you put it back between your legs over your clothes and hold it there.  He says your name and curses. 

It is the last thing he says for a while.  You are both quiet.  It is only later that night when the silence breaks, when he gets into bed after checking the security system.  You look at each other across the space of that bed and mutely come to an accord, his arm outstretched in offering as you move into his embrace.  He holds you against his chest, his heart beating under your ear. 

“Do you hate me,” he asks, like he already knows the answer. 

You sniffle.  You nod. 

“Okay,” he says, and strokes your back until you fall asleep.

-

Your final year of school passes in a blur of afternoons with Jisung, fake dates with Hyunjin, and long, unsatisfied nights where you and Felix hold each other with the knowledge of everything between you – and do nothing about it.  He keeps his head down, trains, and dutifully reports to your father.  At least your father is more agreeable these days because of your supposed relationship with Hyunjin.  He thinks it is changing you for the better when really you are just being careful for Hyunjin’s sake. 

The end of the year rolls around and soon you are down to the last few days of classes.  You and Hyunjin are due for a conversation about what happens next.   You whisper this to him in class, sitting close as you are sharing a lab desk for two.  He is bent down scribbling in your yearbook, his pen scratching when he freezes.   He looks up at you and nods.

“Yo, are you lovebirds done?” Jisung asks, spinning around from the desk he is sharing with Felix.  He points a ruler at Hyunjin.  “You better have left the last page blank like I said, man.  I have things to say to my girl.”   

“I did, I did,” Hyunjin says with playful exasperation, handing Jisung your yearbook so he can sign it too.  Jisung takes it with a snap, clapping the ruler on the desk before turning back to his own seat to write his message.  You and Hyunjin look at each other, helpless but to laugh at his shenanigans.   

You catch Felix’s eye.  He knows your relationship is fake, though he doesn’t know why.  He probably figures you are just trying to keep your father off your case.  Even if you trust Felix, it is not your place to tell Hyunjin’s story, guarding it so long as he asks. 

It does mean Felix looks at you with the occasional battered-puppy eyes. 

“Come on, Felix,” Hyunjin says with his big, dimpled smile, “let me write in yours too.” 

The yearbooks were handed out this morning so everyone is running around getting their friends to sign farewell messages.  You have already signed more yearbooks than you ever imagined you would, Hyunjin’s friends considering you an acquaintance if nothing else.  Signing for them was easy at least, lots of have a great summer and good luck with your future.  

It is much harder coming up with something for genuine friends.  While Hyunjin writes in Felix’s yearbook, you stare down at Hyunjin’s, trying to think of what to say to your fake boyfriend and real friend. 

I hope you get everything you want and more, you finally write.   I’m glad I got to know you.  LUV U BOYFRIEND!!!!

He laughs at the last part when you show him.   “I wrote the same thing in yours, loving girlfriend,” he says. 

You laugh too.  You crumple up some paper to chuck at Jisung who is still scribbling in your yearbook. 

“What, are you writing a novel?” you ask.  “Hurry up!” 

“Patience!” Jisung says.  “You can’t rush a masterpiece!” 

You, Hyunjin, and Felix all laugh.  Once more, you and Felix look at each other a little longer.  You did not bother to write in his yearbook as no words could suffice to summarize anything. 

He jokingly wrote Have a Great Summer : ) in yours. 

Jisung finally finishes his apparent epic, smacking your yearbook onto your desk.  You reach for it but he holds it shut, giving you a very serious look. 

“You can’t read my message now, okay?” he says.  “Read it at home.  Alone.  With violins in the background.”

You snort and roll your eyes but smile fondly at him. 

“Okay, Jisung,” you say, “I promise to cherish it and read your masterpiece properly.”          

“That’s all I ask,” Jisung says with a salute. 

After school, Felix waits while you and Hyunjin have a quick word. 

“Can you come to my house?”  Hyunjin asks.  “I want to talk properly.  Not here.”

You know your father will agree but you need his permission as you cannot visit without an escort.  Hyunjin knows you always have a bodyguard not too far from sight; he just does not know that Felix is one of them.   Your father sends his own men on your excursions together. 

Felix is never too happy when separated.  He is cordial enough with your father’s security team but it is obvious that Felix thinks he is more skilled than them, often commenting on their weaknesses or blunders.  You do not see things with his professional precision but you take his word for it.  It is easy to believe Felix is the best.  After all, it takes a whole team of people to replace him. 

As predicted, your father agrees to let you visit Hyunjin for the evening.  The Hwang mansion is nowhere near as big an estate nor are their security measures even close to your impenetrable, bulletproof, gilded prison, but it is still a secure location where you can be supervised.  You go with a few of your father’s men, sharing a dry look with Hyunjin when you arrive at his house.  He just smiles, used to it. 

You have dinner with his him and his parents, smiling all the while, playing the part you have played all year.  Your father’s men surround the house and you pass them in the backyard, making your way to Hyunjin’s old tree-house for some privacy.  It leaves you within sight of your father’s men but well out of ear-shot.   

You plop down on the little wooden balcony, sighing as you stare into the distance.  The sun is setting over the neighbourhood, an orange sky dappled with rosy pinks, sparkling as it catches glass panes and ostentatious embellishments.  The creaky old tree-house has a cozier feel, a world separated from the nonsense below.   

“Thank you,” Hyunjin says after a moment of shared silence, just watching the sunset.  You look at each other and he smiles.  “Having a real friend who knows me made a difference this year.” 

The forthright sincerity is a bit much for you, seeing as you are not so good at communicating so plainly.  You think you are improving, though.  The old you would have drawn back, but you are able to smile at Hyunjin in return. 

“I hope it helped,” you say. 

“It did.”  He moves a little closer just to be safe.  “My father gave me control of my savings.  My grandmother left me an inheritance and I needed the money.”  His smile brightens his whole face in the rosy light.  “I bought a house.”

“A house?” your voice breaks as you try contain your surprise in a whisper.

He laughs at your reaction, still smiling. 

“Yes,” he says.  “Well, it’s more like a cabin.  It’s not much to look at.  I needed it to be off the record, all in cash, and far away from here.”   

You find the image of a small, homey cabin to be devastatingly beautiful.  It could be the most dilapidated, ramshackle mess of a construction and you would still consider it perfect.  You imagine sitting on a tiny porch with Felix, him smiling a big smile that crinkles his eyes and shows his teeth, his face sunny and golden and truly carefree, not just pretending. 

You look at Hyunjin and see him staring into space with the same smile.  You picture him with all the tension gone from his shoulders, laughing his wheezy laugh instead of forcing polite smiles.  You swallow a lump in your throat. 

“Oh, Hyunjin,” you say, holding his hand.  “That’s really wonderful.” 

It brings him back to you.  Some of the dreaminess leaves his expression but he is definitely still happy.  He squeezes your hand back. 

“I can’t go yet,” he says.  “My parents would just… They’d find me.  I’m their only son.  It would be an embarrassment to them if I just left.  When I think about what my father did to my friend just to teach me a small lesson…”  You squeeze his hand in sympathy.  You both know his parents did not have that boy beaten to keep him away, but to teach Hyunjin a lesson.

Hyunjin takes a deep breath and says, “They won’t let me walk away easily.  I have to do it right if I’m gonna be free.”

“How are you going to do that?” you ask, curious for his sake and even your own.  The image of a far away cabin, untouched by trouble, is quickly nestling itself in some hidden cockle of your heart.  You know that it will be difficult for him to leave but it would be next to impossible for you, so there is no sense in dreaming.

And yet…  If Hyunjin can find a way, it makes you think that maybe certain dreams are not so impossible. 

But he just sighs and looks away. 

“I don’t know yet,” he says.  “But I’m going to find a way.”  He lets go of your hand to reach into his pocket, pulling out a small slip of paper.  He passes it to you and you unfold it.  You brow furrows as you read.    

“Is this—”

“The city and address to the cabin,” he says. 

“Why are you giving this to me?” you ask in a small voice.  Not for the first time, you curse your inconstant feelings, the quick rise to emotional heights in the matter of seconds. 

This is Hyunjin’s future written in a single line on a single piece of paper, such a seemingly simple thing and yet it has the power to completely destroy him.  This is his means of his escape, his only avenue of liberty, and he is showing you despite your proximity to some truly wretched forces.   He trusts you more than he fears them. 

“It’s an easy address to remember,” he says.  “I know things are hard for you.  I don’t know what will happen to you.  I don’t even know what will happen to me.  But I know it’s harder when you’re alone.  I know having people make a difference because they made a difference for me.  If you ever get out, if you ever need somewhere to start…” 

You cannot think of what to say.  No words seem sufficient in reply.  You can only nod and take a deep breath.  You look up into the fading light and blink away your tears. 

“Thank you,” you say.  “I hope if we meet again, things will be different.” 

The address has a sweet rhyming lilt to it, easy to remember like he said.  You read it over a few times, commit it to memory, then tear up the slip of paper beyond any salvaging. 

You sit in the tree-house until the sun fully sets.  Little lanterns flicker to life one-by-one in the darkening yard below.  When the sky is a blue wash and the path below is twinkling gold, you sigh. 

“I don’t want to go back,” you say miserably.  You don’t want to see your father or that house.  Even Felix will stir nothing but anguish right now, as you think about how you are trapped and he is shackled to you.  You also don’t really want to linger here.  Your uncontrollable emotional pendulum has swung back from its precipice.  A few minutes ago, you were close to crying, and now you feel so empty and resigned that you think you will never cry again.   I’m so broken, you think helplessly.  You want someone to tell you otherwise but you don’t know how to ask. 

Hyunjin leans back, peering into the yard.  Your father’s men are getting a little complacent in their boredom, one of them yawning where he is slouched in a deck chair.   They are not really paying attention to you.  They figure there is no where for you to go, the main steps from the tree-house leading right into their path. 

Hyunjin puts a finger to his lips.  You follow him quietly across the tree-house, obscured in enough darkness that none of the security team notices.  He leads you to a dangling rope ladder, hidden on the opposite side of the tree.  He points across the yard to a little garden around a koi pond. 

“There’s a gate just past the pond,” he whispers.  “There’s a path that leads through the neighbourhood.  I’ll stay up here until they say something, then I’ll tell them you went home.”  He smiles and puts a hand on your shoulder.  “You probably should go home,” he says, “but at least this way you’ll have a bit of time alone first.” 

You smile back at him, patting the hand on your shoulder. 

“Thank you, Hyunjin,” you say. 

“See you around,” he says, then pushes back his hair and smoulders at you.  “And don’t take the break-up too hard. I know I’m handsome but there will be other men.”     

You laugh and roll your eyes, pushing his shoulder. 

“Oh, please, I broke up with you,” you say.  “I couldn’t keep up with your vigorous beauty routine.” 

“This face is natural,” he says, laughing too.  Then he nudges you and looks more serious.  “Go now.  They’re not paying attention.” 

You briefly weigh your odds.  You have not snuck out in a very long time so the punishment might be proportionate to your otherwise good behaviour.  Felix is not here so he will not be blamed for your escape.  And you will not be avoiding a reprimand no matter what you do, because your father is going to be angry that you and Hyunjin broke-up – especially without consulting him first.  If you are going to be punished anyway, you might as well take a walk and clear your head first. 

You grab Hyunjin’s hand one last time, giving it a squeeze as you smile.  Then you climb down the rope ladder and hurry across the garden.  You are out the gate and on the path before you know it. 

The wealthy neighbourhood is quiet and brightly lit, every yard illuminated despite the quietude of the street.  They are all so pristinely manicured, different yet identical magazine-ready mansions.  They look a bit eerie with the darkness around them, like some alien recreation of what a home should look like.  It makes you dread the return to your own house.  You wonder how much time you have to yourself, if the car is going to pull up alongside you any second now to drag you home. 

It is then you remember you do have one more place you can go.  Ridiculously, stupidly, your emotions come back in full swing and you feel like crying again.  Maybe it is because you have not snuck out in so long, so it is reminding you of the very first time you ever did.  You went to the very place you are going now: Jisung’s house.

You always met there before darting off to a party together.  Those parties never amounted to much.  You and Jisung always talked a big game then spent most of the time in a corner or on a roof, but it was the only time you were ever away from the prying eyes of your father’s overprotective security.   You passed many nights that way, complaining to your best friend, talking about nothing, then rushing home before your absence was noticed.   

You remember the route to his side of town, catching a bus and getting off at a familiar stop.  This neighbourhood looks very different than Hyunjin’s, a range of houses both new and old, rundown and fixed-up.  They don’t waste energy lighting their yards unless they have guests.  All the light is from the streetlamps and the little yellow squares of homey light beaming through their windows. 

You have never actually been inside Jisung’s house.  You would usually just meet him in the yard before continuing on.  This is the first time you walk up the porch steps and ring the doorbell. 

You start to shiver.  The adrenaline or your escape kept you warm but now you can feel the chill of the evening. 

You are looking around the block and shivering when the door opens.  You turn and see an older woman with a scowl on her face.  Even if you did not know Jisung lived with his single mother, you would recognize her because of her round cheeks and big eyes, much like him.  Except where his face is usually open and friendly, she looks at you like a bug she wants to squish. 

“What?” she asks. 

“Um, sorry to bother you,” you say, somehow more intimidated by her than your father’s burly security team.  “I’m friends with Jisung.  I was just wondering if he’s home…?” 

She takes a step back and screams his name into the house.  You stand awkwardly in the doorway, waiting while thumps and bangs come from the upper level, then Jisung is hurrying down the stairs and skittering into view.  You so seldom see him without a hat that it is momentarily jarring, his flop of dark hair going everywhere as he comes to a wide-eyed stop. 

He gets over his surprise and smiles wide, saying your name with an upward what-the-fuck inflection. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks, stepping aside to let his mother pass.  She says nothing more to you, disappearing into a side room. 

“I, um, I don’t know,” you say, your emotions in turmoil again.  You think about what Hyunjin said, about how having a friend made all the difference for him, and you suddenly realize how much you missed spending time with Jisung, how he was your first and only escape for so long.  Tears are falling before you can stop them, a mess of everything with Hyunjin and Felix and your father, but you can only stammer a vague excuse, that you broke up with Hyunjin and wanted to talk to someone. 

Jisung’s face is twisted up with surprise and sympathy.  He says your name a few times and apologizes, guiding you into the house.   

“Come on, let’s go upstairs,” he says, taking your hand and leading you up to his bedroom. 

“Won’t your mom mind?” For some reason, despite the mania of emotion inside you, that is what you fixate on. 

Jisung just laughs dryly, shaking his head as he closes the bedroom door behind you.  “Trust me,” he says. “She won’t care.  Sit down.” 

Jisung’s bedroom is undeniably him, music posters overlapping on the wall, stacks of journals on his desk and bedside table.  It is a sprawling canvas of music and writing, not to mention litters of clothes and baseball caps.  He pushes a pile of clothes off his bed so you can both sit, shoulder-to-shoulder.  His bed is against the wall, under the window, cool stars twinkling down at you while his bedside lamp fills the room with warmth. 

Your sobbing has slowed to a heaving stutter.  Jisung hands you some tissues to wipe your eyes. 

“I’m gonna kill that evil pretty boy,” Jisung says.

You hiccup and shake your head.  “It was me,” you say.  “Hyunjin is my friend, he’s a good guy, I just—” You start crying all over again, tearing the soggy tissues to shreds.  Jisung leans over to fetch some more, his face scrunched up with concern while he watches you dab your sore eyes.  “I’m just so messed up, Jisung,” you say.  “You have no idea how much.  I don’t even think I could properly love someone if I tried.  I just make a mess wherever I go.”

“What! Yo!  No.  Why are you saying these things?”  He looks equal parts bewildered and horrified, quickly wrapping an arm around you.  You let your head fall on his shoulder, still wiping your eyes while he rubs your arm.  “You are not messed up.  You’re my best friend and you’re awesome.  How could you have a best friend if you can’t properly love someone, huh?” 

“I’m a bad friend though,” you say.  “I bail on you all the time and I’m crazy and emotional and—”

“And you have an evil dad who locks you in the house, remember?”  Jisung says.  “Look, I know it’s not my business, I’d never make you say it, but from what you’ve told me… Dude, that guy fucking sucks.” 

You cannot help but laugh at that.  Jisung smiles, tweaking your nose. 

“I’ve never been mad about that stuff,” he says gently.  “Not at you.  At your dick dad, sure.  But that has nothing to do with you.” 

“I’m emotional like him,” you say, tears slowing to a lip wobble.  “I fight him all the time but maybe that just proves it. All that anger inside me.” 

“Anger isn’t bad,” Jisung says.  “It’s a feeling just like anything else.  Some people do bad shit while smiling the whole time.  Remember that guy who bullied Felix that time at school, and how you hit him with that book?  Or other times you just snapped back at some stupid dick?  That wasn’t bad!”

You don’t have an argument in you.  You just exhale, dabbing under your eyes with the crumpled tissue.  Jisung continues to rub your arm.

Your eyes drift and land on one of his baseball caps.  It is perched on a stack of schoolbooks.  You think back through the years, all those school days, all those stolen parties and late nights.  It was a slow beginning, then one day you realized he was your friend, your first ever friend, that he was making you laugh and you had inside jokes and you wanted to spend more time with him.  You weren’t afraid to be around him and you knew he wouldn’t make fun of you or push you or judge you. 

You feel his arm around your shoulder now and realize you are not afraid of it.  You can no longer remember the first time you hugged Jisung, probably because it wasn’t a kiss or anything romantic and so you did not really register it.  It was a moment that arrived silently, without any heart palpitations or fanfare, no sweaty palms or hot cheeks.  He would have just put his arm around you like he is doing now, asking for nothing in return for it. 

You realize he must have been the first person to hug you.   Your mother passed away when you were in infancy and the only family you ever knew was your father and his now-late father.  They did not hug each other and they did not hug you.   The only kind of love you knew was a violent, controlling one, and it made you into a distrustful, feral little child in return. 

You have reflected before how it took a long time to warm to Felix.  Bit by bit.  Touch by touch.   It would have taken longer if you had never known Jisung.  He drew you out of your shell before anyone else did. You were able to reach for Felix because Jisung reached for you.  You were able to befriend Hyunjin because Jisung befriended you. 

You find yourself choking back a different sob, one conjured by the realization of just how much Jisung has done by being there.  You understand what Hyunjin meant, about a friend making all the difference. 

Before you can say anything, Jisung gently asks, “It’s bad, isn’t it?” 

You sit straight to look at him, brow furrowed.   

“Your dad,” he says.  “Things are… they’re bad, aren’t they?  Worse than just not letting you hang out?” 

Tears spill over again.  You realize he is sniffling now too but holding back tears.  He reaches across to wipe your face with his bare hands, swiping at your tears.   

“I knew for a while,” Jisung says in a strained voice.  “I could see the bruises.  I didn’t know what to do.  And I felt like I was letting you down because—” 

He chokes on his breath.  It gives you a moment to interject.

“You have nothing to feel bad about,” you say. You wipe his tears too, laughing at your equal dramatics.  “Seriously, Jisungie.” 

“No, you don’t understand,” he says, grabbing your hands and pulling them off his face.  He shakes his head like he is trying to shake his tears out of him.  It seems to work.  After another breath, he manages to speak clearly.   “Do you remember our first conversation?  At school?”

“About the weather?” you say, thinking back to the first time Jisung started a conversation. 

“No, before that,” he says.  “We sat beside each other for months but we never spoke.  Then I missed a week of school because I made myself sick, all my stupid anxiety and whatever.  My mom, you know, she tries but she… It’s just easier for her to ignore me most of the time, I think.   I know she didn’t want kids.  So I was taking care of myself.  And I missed school sometimes because of it, but no one ever noticed when I was gone.  It’s like I was invisible everywhere I went.  And I got so sick that week that I just wanted to die.  But then I went back to school and I got my homework from the teachers and then you—”  He slaps his hands in his lap and looks at you, smiling a teary-eyed smile.  “You were the first person to ask where I was and if I was all right.  And you made a face like you didn’t believe me when I said I was.  Then I started talking about the weather.” 

“Oh,” you say, shredding the tissue in your lap for something to look at, trying to keep your tears at bay.  “I didn’t remember that part.” 

“You’re really good at seeing people,” Jisung says.  “Even when they’re trying to hide or pull away.  I don’t know how you think you can’t love when you’re like that.  You know how to do it better than the rest of us who forget to even look.”  He takes your hand again, drawing your eyes up to his.  “But I’m looking back now, okay?  And I’m gonna save you.” 

It is so frank and sincere that it makes you laugh. 

“I am!” he says, laughing through his own watery voice.  “Don’t laugh at me!  You saved me and now I’m gonna save you too.”

“It’s not that easy, Jisung,” you say.  “You have no idea how crazy everything in my life is—”

“It is that easy,” he says.  “You’ll see.  I promise.  And a best friend promise is a forever promise, okay?” 

You cannot bring yourself to argue.  You just nod, your bottom lip wobbling again. 

“Okay,” Jisung says.  “Now come hug me so you can’t see me when I start crying like a baby.” 

You laugh but fall into his arms nonetheless.  You sit under that window for a long time.  At least, it feels like a long time.  You don’t look at the clock and you don’t count the minutes.  It is not the kind of hug that is leading to anything because he doesn’t want to kiss you and he has no other motivation.  He just hugs you until you are both calm, when your tears feel silly and dramatic and your eyes are sore but you feel strangely refreshed. 

“I need to go,” you say, to which he whines in complaint.  You laugh.  “Saving me will have to wait for another day.  For now, if I don’t get home…” 

As if summoned by that very thought, your phone erupts with buzzes and rings.  You sigh and fish it out of the pocket of your shorts, watching messages from your father, his security, and Felix come flooding in.  The others are making commands and demanding your whereabouts.  Felix asks, Are you okay?  Then, I have to turn on your GPS.  They’re gonna come get you wherever you are. 

You answer Felix, telling him you’re fine, that you’re with Jisung.  He sends an emoji that manages to look very unimpressed, then just says, that’s what the boss gets for sending amateurs. 

Your father’s men are far from amateurs but it is still funny when Felix insults them. 

You turn your phone to silent after that, not bothering to answer the others.  They will find you in no time with Felix’s help. 

“I better go,” you say.  “My dad is sending someone to pick me up.  I’ll be fine tonight, I promise.  But I’m gonna start walking because I don’t want you mixed up in any of this when they get here.” 

Jisung tries to argue but lets you go when he sees how serious you are.  He insists you take a hoodie for warmth so you do.  You give him one last wave before you begin the trek down the block, hoping to get far away before your father’s men find you. 

You have made it two blocks over when a sleek black car approaches.  You start to walk towards it because there is no other reason for a car that nice to be slowing down on a street like this.  Only when it gets closer do you realize you the make and model of the car is not one that your father usually uses, and you do not recognize the driver. 

Your heart kicks up with a startled, frantic flutter as the car comes to a slow stop not far from you.  You swerve, crossing to the other side of the street to avoid it.  You try to act nonchalant, reassuring yourself that it is coincidence, that your father’s insanity is seeping into your brain and making you paranoid. 

By the time you realize your anxieties are not baseless, it is too late.  Not that you stood much of a chance in the first place. 

You try running but there are three of them overall, one driver and two armed muscle guys.  They chase you down and cover your mouth before you can scream.  You kick and jostle but all of Felix’s self-defence lessons fly out of your brain in your panic.  Your tears are all used up so you don’t cry.  Even terror passes, leaving only nausea in its wake. 

It doesn’t feel real, being shoved into the back of a car by men in black suits.  This is not something real that happens.  This is something your father threatens, something inane and melodramatic, something out of a movie or a book, not real life.  Not your life. 

Yet here you are, flanked by two strange men while the driver peels across the tarmac.   They do not cuff or gag you, simply buckle you into a seatbelt and point a gun at you.  You are shaking too bad to do anything useful anyway, and your voice feels clogged in your suddenly dry throat. 

They are talking to you but it takes you a minute to register any word, everything fuzzy and out of focus. 

“—just be a good girl and co-operate and everything will be fine.” 

That is all you hear. 

That and the name Miroh. 

You try to calm yourself.  You think rationally.  Miroh has no reason to kill you or even torture you, as far as you know.  In all likelihood, he is using you as leverage to get something from your father.  That is why your father is always worried about you being taken.  He doesn’t talk about damage to you, just his business. 

You manage to calm the worst of your shaking.  Then the one with the gun yanks on your hair and you jerk away violently. 

“She’s better behaved than Miroh said,” he says with a laugh.  “Might not even have to take a finger.” 

You clutch your hands tightly together, glaring at him, but it just garners more chuckles.  The driver laughs too, peering at you through the rear-view mirror. 

“Too well behaved,” he suddenly says, eyes narrowing.  “You check her pockets?” 

It is then you remember your phone.  Felix turned on your GPS.   They can track where you are going.  Felix can track where you are going.  If nothing else, you trust that Felix can do something.  Felix, Felix, Felix.  It is all you can think about.  Felix will find you.  You will be back with Felix tonight, safe in your shared bed. You are always safe with Felix.  You want to be there right now.  You can’t even remember how you got here.  Your whole day is turning into one blacked out nothingness, a dreary bleak empty before you found yourself in this car hurtling to god-knows-what fate. 

The man finds your phone.  You try to reach for it but then you feel the gun at your temple and your whole body locks up.  You have seen a gun before, many times, but you have never had one pointed at you.  You always thought you would be brave, having been around them your whole life.  Maybe that is why you are afraid.  Your body is trying to protect you, freezing you like it always does. 

The man rolls down the window and throws your phone into the wind. 

You sit back and close your eyes, willing this nightmare to end.  You try to convince yourself that this is your father’s doing, that he is just trying to teach you a lesson.  You wouldn’t even be mad.   You just want to go home. 

But there is no sign of your father’s security team.  You pass dozens then hundreds of cars as you leave the residential area and take the highway.  None of your father’s vehicles are among them.  And how could they be?  They can track as far as your phone and then they have nothing.  There is no way for them to know where Miroh’s men are taking you.  You have no idea what they want.  You can’t even cry or panic because your body is shutting itself down in its panic.  The periphery of your gaze is obscured in shadow.   Their voices fade in and out, rarely directed at you anyway.  They seem to know you will not answer.  They have experience with this sort of thing. 

Of course they do.  Miroh is your father’s only equal.  Your father does nothing by halves.  Miroh would only send the best. 

You leave the highway and turn onto a country road out of the city.  Wherever they are taking you, it is far and they are unhurried.  You have a long time to stew in your anxiety.    

You can only see directly in front of you, through the windshield and the rear-view mirror.  You stare, willing one of your father’s black cars to appear in it even though you know that will not happen.  The only cars are civilian cars and even those begin to disappear as they take side roads to their own destinations.  Soon it is just one other car trailing you at a distance.  It is a beat-up civilian truck, not very big, a splotchy, peeling burgundy.   The rims are muddy from frequent use and little washing. 

It is ugly but it could be the last thing you see for a while.  It makes you stare more intensely. 

You are focussing so hard on the tiny details that you do not even notice it is speeding up.  It goes from a distant spot to filling the rear-view in moments.  

The driver mumbles a curse to himself, shaking his head and frowning. 

“What’s this idiot doing?” he grumbles.  “As if we don’t have enough to deal with.  Now we got some drunk on the road.” 

The truck is swerving, back and forth, then it speeds up and whips past your car.  It startles the driver, making him veer a hard right as the truck goes left around him.  He shouts a curse even though the other driver can’t hear, the truck already speeding away into the darkness.  There are no street lamps on the country road so it completely vanishes, disappearing when it leaves the glow of your headlights. 

There is a moment of quiet.  A tunnel of light.  Darkness around it. 

The truck appears again in the middle of it, parked and blocking the entire road lengthwise.  The driver shouts another curse and slams on the brakes to stop from barrelling into it. 

The whole car lurches with the sudden halt.  You snap forward and back again, held down by the seatbelt.  The other two hit the seats in front of them, cursing as they fix themselves.  The weapons guy drops his gun and it clatters somewhere on the ground of the vehicle.  You watch him dive down, cursing to himself before he finds it. 

“Get him out of the way!” the driver shouts, pointing to the stopped vehicle.   The two men get out of the car, sounding more aggravated by the obstacle than afraid.  The other one pulls a gun so they are both armed as they approach the vehicle. 

The men circle the truck.  You can see they are yelling and cursing again.  They come stomping back over to the vehicle.   Even with all the windows rolled up, you can hear him as he shouts, “There’s no one fucking there!” 

“What!” the driver returns, pointing ahead.  “He didn’t just disappear!  Check the—”  

He is interrupted by the rattle of unexpected thunder – what sounds like someone running up and over the car from behind.  You both look up as if you can see through the car roof.  The men outside react just as fast, guns raised.  Shots are swiftly fired and you cover your ears, flinching. 

The figure comes into view.  It feels like your heart stops. 

Felix takes a flying leap off the roof of the car and comes swinging into view.  He lands on the shoulders of one of the men.  In one sharp move, Felix snaps the man’s neck.  When his body crumples, Felix jumps, tackling the other man and knocking his gun out of the way.  He pulls his own gun out of his waistband and you don’t even have time to cover your eyes before a bullet shatters the man’s temple.  That body falls too. 

It was a matter of seconds.  The driver scarcely has time to react.  He is fumbling with the glove compartment when Felix walks up to the car and shoots his window.   The bullet does not penetrate the glass but it fractures it, sending shards flying onto the man. 

You shriek, your voice coming back to you.  Felix smacks the broken window with the butt of the gun, shattering it completely.  He unlocks the car, his face devoid of all emotion as he throws open the door and reaches in.  He grabs the man by the scruff of his neck and repeatedly slams his head against the steering wheel, knocking him out cold. 

He closes the door with a kick and tucks his gun back in his waistband. 

Adrenaline completely takes over your body.  You do not think or reflect, only feel and act.   Felix steps toward the car to open your door but you are already pushing it open.  He steps back when it flies past him, already breathing hard when you stumble out of the vehicle on shaky legs. 

“Do you have any idea—” he starts, his deep voice breaking.  “Any, any idea how worried I was?  And those stupid, fucking, incompetent—”

He is pointing to nowhere, just gesticulating in his emotions.  It all seems to pour of him, terror and agony, anger and helplessness.  He is wearing casual clothes, ripped jeans, a sleeveless red flannel over a t-shirt.  He was probably sitting at home when he jumped into action.    

His dark roots are starting show in his golden hair.  You will have to colour that for him, you think, giddily, half-mad. 

“You could have died,” he is saying.  “They could have—”

You throw your arms around his neck and crash into him.  It is a collision of a kiss, more teeth than lips until you figure out to close your mouth. 

Those men could not move him but you can.   He backs up under the guiding push of your soft hands, walking, walking, walking, each quick backward step until you have him pressed up against the truck, your lips still locked.  When you finally separate it is with a gasping, wet split.  You stare at each other, taking in the reality of the other person.  Him, with blood disappearing into the red threads of his flannel.  You, alive, unharmed, right here in front of him with no one to stop him from kissing you again. 

He grabs you by the neck and pulls you back to him, kissing you with an open-mouthed desperation that has you practically sobbing with need.  He flips your positions, cupping the back of your head so you are not hurt when he pins you to the truck.  You sink your fingers into his hair, wrapping a leg around his waist as he grinds against the softest spot of you.  He licks into your mouth, making a rumbling noise of deep, heartfelt satisfaction that makes you throb. 

His lips are pink and raw when he stops for a breath.  You kiss the side of his face, clinging to him, making a pleading noise when he does not resume kissing you. 

He steps back and points to the car. 

“Get in the truck,” he says firmly.  “This isn’t the time.  Don’t argue.” 

You have no desire whatsoever to argue.  You climb into the passenger seat while Felix makes a phone call.  You watch him through the window, running a hand through his hair, his mouth pink, his shirt blood-stained. 

You have always known Felix was capable of this sort of thing, but seeing it is very different than imagining it.  Before it was some nebulous concept of a person but now the reality of him collides with the boy who has been sharing your bed for years.  This is the same boy who needed your help to tie his school tie.  Cartoon-watching, computer-building Felix, with his dry wit and toothy smiles. 

You are not sure what it says about you that you are not afraid of him, not even a little bit.  Maybe it is because you are not surprised.  Maybe it is something else.  But the only thing you want right now is for him to put his arms around you. 

He gets into the truck and sits there for a moment, just breathing as he looks down at his phone.  A thought flickers across his eyes, a twitch of his brows, then he turns off the phone and tosses it into the backseat.   The gun follows with a clatter.  You look back at both then at him with shock. 

Felix has never turned off that phone.  It is always completely charged and within reach.  The GPS cannot be tracked if it is off.  Your father cannot reach him if it is off.   It is never supposed to be off. 

You stare at him, tracing his profile as he pushes his hair back then starts the car.   You only look away when you pass the other vehicle, the unconscious driver still slumped over the wheel.  You turn your head, watching the scene disappear into the darkness behind you. 

“Your father’s men will clean it up,” Felix says, drawing your eyes back to him.  He does not look away from the road, resolutely focussed despite the lack of traffic on the country road.

“You left one alive,” you say.  “What if he wakes up?”

“Uhh, he’ll be lucky if he is conscious in two days,” Felix says with a scoff.  His lips draw into that thin line.  “Your father will want someone to interrogate.”

You look out the windshield and sigh.  You feel like you have aged years tonight yet it also feels like none of this really happened.  It seems impossible that moments ago you were staring through a different windshield, petrified. 

Felix looks at you.  You turn your head and meet his gaze, watching grief twist his features before he looks ahead again. 

“Did they hurt you?” he asks, gripping the wheel tight with both hands. 

You shake your head, still facing him, studying him. 

“I was thinking about you,” you say, the words escaping in a breathless slur.  “It was the only thing that made me feel safe.”  You find it easier to speak your feelings after everything.  It’s like all that fear blasted through a barricade.  You thought you might never see him again and all those feelings were trapped inside you.  You cannot help but let them pour out now, like blood seeping from an open wound, your hand shaking as you reach across the console to touch the side of his face. 

His breath stutters.  He takes your hand and for a moment holds it, squeezing it in his.  He does not look away from the road.  Eventually he puts your hand in your lap, curling it around your thigh and squeezing, then he grabs the wheel again. 

Your gaze drifts to the wheel then the overall truck.  The rest of reality comes back to you in increments and you suddenly realize this is obviously not one of your father’s cars. 

“Where did you get this truck?” you ask. 

“I stole it,” he says. 

“You stole a car?!” you shriek, voice naturally pitching up with surprise. 

He looks at you incredulously. 

“I just killed two men,” he says.  “You’re worried about the car?” 

“I don’t know!”  You slouch in your seat, looking out the window.  “Don’t talk to me, I’m traumatized.” 

He shakes his head but laughs a little.   You do not speak for a bit, the only sound the tires rolling over the gravel road.  Then Felix sighs. 

“They wouldn’t listen,” he says.  “Your father’s, hmmm, ‘professionals’.”  He rolls his eyes and clicks his jaw, clearly still pissed about it.  “I knew it had to be Miroh.  You were heading west to the highway when your GPS stopped.  I knew where they’d be taking you.  But your father’s geniuses thought you threw your phone and were running.  But you wouldn’t do that, yeah.  You want to be found.  That’s why you run.  You want him to care enough to chase you and bring you home.” 

You look out your window, resting your head in your hand as rows of dark trees pass you by. 

“Home,” you say.  “Miroh.  Not sure there’s going to be a difference in what’s waiting, is there?” 

Felix says nothing to this.  The gravel road comes to an end as you approach tarmac.  Instead of turning left to return to the highway, Felix turns right.  You look back through the window, confused, wondering if you mistook your location.  But no, you are definitely driving further into the countryside. 

“The highway is that way,” you say, looking at him.  His whole body is tense, eyes locked on the road.  “Aren’t we going home?”

“Yes,” he says, then turns up a different country road.  “Eventually.” 

You do not know what to expect with Felix.  His emotional fluctuation is not as blatant as yours, but he does waver unpredictably, one moment leaning towards you and then pulling away.  You do not know what he is planning and you do not ask.  You simply stare through the window as you turn up a few more roads, getting further and further from the main road until you turn into a small gravel lane between some fields.  Bushes surround the car on either side, the main road very far behind you. 

Felix turns off the car but keeps both hands on the wheel, still staring intensely out the front window.

“Where are we?” you ask, squinting through the dark at the fields.  It feels exceptionally quiet without the engine running. 

“This cannot happen again,” Felix says.

He is still facing forward, concentrating on nothing that you can see.  You look ahead then back at him, sighing with exasperation.  If he drove you out here to just to lecture you some more…

“I know,” you say.  “I shouldn’t have left in the first place.  I’m sorry.  I know it’s your job to—”

“This has nothing to do with my job,” he says.  He shakes his head.  “I— You—Do you understand how I—  This is— This is reckless.  Stupid.  It cannot happen again, yeah?  Do you get me?”

“I know,” you say.  “And it won’t.  I get it.  No more running, I just—”

Your breath catches when he looks at you.  There is so much heat in his gaze that you feel immediately flushed.

He undoes his seatbelt then reaches across the console and undoes yours.  When you hear the click, it all registers.  You reach for him as he wraps a hand around the back of your neck and pulls.  This kiss is a crash as well, but a stumbling one, less vicious than thirsty.  Arms get tangled in seatbelts but he manages to whip them aside.  He guides you into his lap as you climb ungracefully over the console with all your shaking limbs. 

You make a sound like relief when you are in his lap, chests touching, knees pressing into his hips, arms around his neck.  His hands are under your borrowed hoodie, then under your shirt, palms splayed against the bare skin of your back as he kisses you with a wet open mouth, hungry and seeking, asking and taking. 

He reaches to the side and fumbles for something.  You squeal with surprise when the seat abruptly drops, your combined weight pushing it flat when he flips the lever.  The surprise passes and he spills back, taking you with him.   He yanks at your hoodie and you sit up to pull your arms through.  Embarrassingly enough, you get tangled trying to remove it at the same time as your shirt.   You get them both off, laughing shyly and feeling ridiculous with your ungraceful action. 

He blinks up at you, his face full of much more wonder and affection than you think you merit.  It is almost more embarrassing than your clumsiness. 

Your awkward hand covers your collarbone but he takes that hand and brings it to his mouth, kissing you palm then your fingertips.  You throb with the recollection of the last time he took your fingers in his mouth, except this time he doesn’t look away, all that heat centred on you. 

He grasps your hips then slides his hands up your body.  You wonder if other people feel like one big shivering mess at such simple touches.   You blame it on today’s chaotic episode.  For a moment, you were nothing and no one, floating in a bleak emptiness with no past or future.  Just a bartering tool, business collateral, a thing sitting in a car for transport to be used by a different bad man for financial leverage. 

Felix touches you and your body comes to life, all that humanity rushing back.  You’re a person and so is he, flushed and excited, just a little messy but earnest.  You find yourselves in a stolen moment in a stolen car, nothing yours but each other. 

He palms your breasts through your bra then fumbles with the clasp, his usually dexterous hands suddenly jumpy.  It makes you both laugh, tittering little sounds as you get it off and toss it aside.  His calloused hands on your bare skin erases any lingering embarrassment.

Straddling his hips, you rock against him.  The hard line of him is pushing at the fly of his jeans, as receptive and eager as you.  You make similar sounds, soft low hums, used to keeping quiet.  You remember you don’t have to restrain yourself so you moan when he cups you through your shorts, grinding the heel of his palm against the soft wet heat of you.  You push his shirt up, running your hands over his chest, noticing a few scars but not lingering much right now. 

You touch him like he touches you, hands wandering, working each other up until you are wild in your wanting.  He makes a rough sound when you squeeze him through his jeans, then he is trying to work off your shorts while you unbutton his fly.  You have to get off him to take the rest of your clothes off.  His fingers are twitchy as they scrabble over his fly, unzipping then shuffling his jeans down his hips. 

You are confronted with that moment of intention again, when his jeans are at his knees and his shirt is pushed up, when you are completely naked in a car in the middle of nowhere and climbing back on top of him, making the deliberate choice to do what you are doing.  It is exhilarating.  It is scary.  You have big fears, about the repercussions in the world outside this vehicle, and you have little fears, like what if you are not good at this and you let him down after everything. 

But that seems impossible when he looks at you like that, warm and desirous, breathing hard as he drags his fingers down your body and slips them between your thighs.  You touch him too, marvelling in his sounds and faces, the flush of his cheeks, his mussed hair.  With just his fingers inside you, he is already looking at you like you are a singular miracle. 

It does feel miraculous.  When you think of where you started, when you think of who you are, this seems so impossible.  But you are here, losing yourself to his steady touch and tender gaze.  You grab his wrist, instinctively seeking control when he works you up to an orgasm, making you clench around his fingers.  You shudder on top of him, your head tipping back.   

“Fuck,” he says, so low and guttural it hardly sounds like a word.  Then he says softly, “Sweetheart.” This is accompanied with a long touch inside you, dragging his fingers so slowly, drawing out your orgasm until your whole body feels soft and pliant.  You ache with the loss of him when he withdraws his touch, just his thumb rolling across that oversensitive nub of pleasure.  Your skin already feels sweaty where you are touching, your hand curled around the length of him as you position yourself above him. 

Even with his effort, it is a stretch and burn when you first sink down.  You smack a hand on the roof of the truck, scratching your nails over it as you sit in his lap with him inside you. 

He curses.  His head falls back, his eyes closing. 

“Is it okay?” you ask in a strained voice. 

He replies, “Ahh…” then, “Uh!” then “Uhhhahh…” then finally, “Yes, yes.  God yes.”  He lifts his head and looks at where he is inside you, then he looks up at you.  “Are you, uh, are you okay?” 

His voice is a raspy thing, his face so raw with pleasure that you find yourself giggling in spite of yourself. 

“Yeah,” you say on a breath.  “Just… a lot.” 

He sits up, careful not to jostle you too much.  You still feel him moving inside you.  When you clench, he makes a sound, but he is not distracted from his mission, cupping the back of your head and bringing you close for a kiss.  You sink into it, your hands sliding onto his shoulders as his tongue slips past your lips. 

He helps you move, both of you following base instinct and little else.  It starts to feel deliriously good.  You are light-headed from kissing, worked up from knowing he is as close to you as he possibly can be. 

You move slowly, hands roaming over each other.  You get his flannel off and toss it into the passenger seat.  Then he braces himself to move his hips better, holding you steady.  You touch the roof so you don’t hit your head, rolling your hips to meet him.  It’s good but not enough and soon he is turning you over, laying you on your back under him.  He has to separate from you to get comfortable. 

You whine, touching yourself, and he smacks his head hard against the roof with surprise.  You laugh, slapping a hand over your mouth while he winces and rubs his head. 

“Are you okay?” you ask, still giggling.  Fortunately, he chuckles, wincing again for show before sighing. 

“Never better,” he says, and takes off his shirt.  You are both perspiring and not just from exertion, the car trapping all your combined heat and breathing.  The windows have completely fogged over and it shields you completely.  You have never felt more safe.  You eagerly open your legs to him as he settles on top of you and finds his place again. 

You wrap around him, whimpering and moaning and sighing when he finds a rhythm in this position.  He cradles you in his arms, rocking into you until you are dizzy with it.  He somehow feels deeper and deeper with every motion.  He kisses your chest and throat, up to your ear, across your face, your mouth.   You kiss him back, hooking your ankles behind his back and pulling him hard against you like you want more. 

“Got you,” he murmurs, lips grazing your ear.  “Got you, sweetheart.” 

He makes you come again, tears springing to your eyes from the sensation of it all.   When his breathing gets frantic and his hips erratic, you let him go.  You breathe hard under him as he sits back and grabs his discarded flannel, coming into that.

 He tosses it aside after, then runs his fingers through his hair as he stares down at you.  You slowly sit up and lean in for one more kiss.  He obliges, cupping your face and kissing you deeply. 

You want to wrap around him again, hold him to your chest and lay there until you are both ready for more.

You take what you can get.  This was dangerous, but you have no regrets.  Even when you are both dressed and in your own seats, you feel enflamed and alive and glowing. 

He tosses his flannel out the window, leaving it on the ground behind you.  You roll down the windows and return to the highway.  It is a long drive home. 

-

Your father does not punish you.  He does not punish Felix in place of you.  The house is deathly silent when you arrive home.  Your father is in his office and Felix takes you there to see him. 

Your father does not even look up from his book.  After a moment he asks, “Did they hurt you?” 

You shake your head but he isn’t looking at you, so you are forced to find your voice and answer, “No.” 

“Good,” he says and turns the page to his book. 

You are teetering on the edge of panic all over again, waiting for him to erupt, to throw something at you, to grab you by the hair and give you a beating worse than anything ever before.  But he just turns another page to his book, so it’s you that erupts. 

“It wasn’t my fault,” you say in a frantic rush. “Hyunjin and I broke up and I was upset so I wanted to see Jisung, that’s it, I just wanted to see my friend.  It’s just because—”

Felix puts a hand on your shoulder, trying to stop you from running your mouth when you don’t need to do so.  It succeeds in silencing you, your voice breaking.  You swallow down a sob. 

Your father finally lifts his head.  His expression is completely blank.  There is no trace of anger, no sadness, no guilt.  You do not know what to do when he is like this.  He is giving you nothing worth a reaction so all your emotions bubble inside you with nowhere to go, spilling over and scalding you like a boiling pot.

“Go to bed,” your father says.  “What’s done is done.” 

It is not surprising that you have a nightmare, waking in a fit that even Felix cannot comfort.  Your half-asleep mind panics when he grabs you, forgetting who he is.  Only when he repeats your name in that sweet, low voice do you remember yourself.  You collapse against him, shaking while he strokes your back and talks gently to you, lulling you back to sleep.  It remains fitful and uneven but you get through the night. 

You are expecting the punishment to come in the morning but your father does not speak to you even though he is in the house.  You do not see him all day.  You have another restless night of bad dreams, Felix comforting you as best he can.  You wake the next morning thinking that surely, the punishment would come today.  There is no way your father is letting you get away with this.  He is planning something, something big, something you will never forget. 

But your father is gone and so is the security team.  Felix phones him and your father informs him that he had some impromptu business to take care of, that he would be gone for the next week.   

You are driving to school on Monday morning when Felix says, “Maybe he thinks it was punishment enough on its own.”  

“Do you really believe that?” you ask. 

Felix does not answer because he knows how far-fetched that is.  He knows your father as well as you do. 

There are only a couple more days of school.  This late in the semester, the lessons are completed, exams being graded.  Everyone is gearing up for graduation, signing yearbooks, taking pictures.   Classes offer more down time than work, letting students mingle.  It is easy few handful of days, the most exceptionally fun days of the whole year. 

Jisung would not miss it.  And he would not abandon you after your conversation.  When he is missing from school on Monday, you are immediately filled with horror. 

Felix looks at you when he realizes Jisung is missing, doing his best to calm you with his eyes. 

“He wouldn’t,” you murmur, just loud enough for Felix to hear.  “Tell me he wouldn’t…” 

Felix says nothing.  He knows your father as well as you do. 

You try phoning Jisung at various intervals through the day but it keeps going straight to voicemail.  Jisung is not great at keeping his phone charged so this is not unusual on its own, but you cannot shake the dread in the pit of your gut. 

Before the day ends, you all but throw yourself at Felix.  All it takes is one teary-eyed please for him to nod, understanding. 

You have the driver take you to Jisung’s house.  Felix steps out of the car and calls your father, needing to report your diversion from routine, but also hopefully gleaning some intel into your father’s potential involvement.  Meanwhile, you run up the porch and frantically bang on the door, not stopping until Jisung’s mother whips it open. 

“What?” she snaps.  “Why are you banging— oh it’s you.”

“Where is he?” you ask.  “Is he sick?  Can I see him?” 

“He’s just at the hospital,” she says like this is no big deal at all, even while you are sweating through your clothes with anxious terror. 

“The hospital?” you ask.  “Why is he—”

“Calm down!  He just had an allergic reaction,” she says.  “Stupid child ate peanuts and didn’t have his pen.  He’ll be fine.” 

“Can you tell me which hospital?” you say.  Some tension leaves your body with this revelation but even so, you will not feel truly at ease until you can see that Jisung is safe with your own two eyes.

His mother tells you where to find him and you thank her while she closes the door in your face.  You are feeling lighter already, heart bursting with light when you spin and jump off the porch. 

You rush up to Felix, eager to report your good news, but you draw to a slow stop at the look on his face.  This is not his professional indifference, listening to commands, but instead an expression of obvious remorse.  He looks apologetic, eyes full of pity, as he extends his arm, handing you the phone. 

You press the device to your ear, heart skipping beats in the worst way. 

“Hello?” you say. 

“After everything I have done for you,” your father says.  “After everything I have given you.  After my leniency despite your repeated abominable behaviour.  For you to end things with an appropriate boy to go chasing after some no-count, miscreant loser with no future and no—”

“What are you talking about?” you say.  “I don’t even know—”

“You stupid little—”  You can picture his face, mouth frothing with rage, brows pinched in fury.  You can picture him catching his breath as he slams a hand on his desk.  “Do you think I couldn’t see it all over your face?  That you were out whoring around with that nobody boy you call a friend?  I could see your commitment to the Hwang boy was a front but I foolishly thought you were making an effort to improve yourself.  How long have you been deceiving me?  Fronting with the Hwang boy while you run around with your schoolboy behind my back?” 

He thinks you’re dating Jisung.  He thinks this is all because of Jisung.  You cannot tell him the truth without ruining your life, Felix’s life, and Hyunjin’s life. 

You scramble for a defence, a denial, but memories of you and Felix flood your mind, the panic of that night takes over you, and soon you are freezing up. 

“He didn’t do anything wrong,” you eventually manage, your voice quivering with the rest of you.  “Please, Jisung is completely innocent, he’s just my friend, he—”

“Please,” your father says derisively.  “You have the audacity to say please to me now.  To ask for my permission now.   You listen to me and you listen well.  What I did to this boy was nothing. Having an allergen slipped into his food was a warning to you.  Your one and only warning, a warning I am only giving you because I prefer not to deal with civilian messes when I can avoid it.  But I whole-heartedly assure you, that if I find out you are in contact with this boy, if I find out you are even thinking about looking in his direction, it is over for him.  I will have him shot in the fucking head in front of you if that’s what it will take to get through to you.” 

You are bombarded with the image of Felix shooting those men.  Suddenly, you imagine it is Jisung across from him instead.  You look at Felix with a frantic, terrified look.  Your voice is weak when you say, “Dad, please, he’s—”

“Do not talk to back me!” he screams.  “You spoiled little slut!  He’s trash, is what he is!  Do you know what kind of life I have given you?  How dare you insult me this way.  How dare you throw it all on that waste of a person.  You go to that boy and you tell him to stay away or it will be the end of him.  Do you understand me?  Say yes or so help me—”

“Yes,” you say, sucking in a hard breath to keep your tears at bay.  “Yes, fine, just leave him alone.  Don’t hurt him, please.” 

Your father hangs up without another word.   

You look up at Felix.  He takes the phone, sucking in a breath of his own. 

“I’m sorry,” he says. 

“It’s not your fault,” you say. 

Jisung is sitting up in his hospital bed when you find him.  His phone is a dead brick sitting on his bedside table, uncharged as anticipated.  He is sipping from a carton and watching television when you walk into the room, surprising him.  His face lights up with delight and he chokes on his drink, dribbling a bit down his front. 

You hurry to his side, worried, but he just laughs and wipes his chin. 

“Hey, hey, don’t worry,” he says.  “It was just a flare-up.  They’re just keeping me for observation to make sure I don’t, you know, suffocate and die in my sleep.”  He says this like it is ridiculous and funny but you are overwhelmed with the image of Jisung lying still in this bed, all the life and colour of your wonderful and vibrant best friend drained to nothing. 

Jisung can see something is wrong.  The humour falls from his expression, replaced with concern as he sees you well up with tears. 

“Hey,” he says, softer.  “I said I’m fine.  Don’t worry.  Is this about something else?  Are you okay?” 

You are not crying but you can feel the emotion in your throat.  If you speak, you think it will pour out in a flood.  You can only sit there, perched on the edge of his bed, staring at him.  He still looks strange without his hat.  Although he is joking around, there is an admitted pallor to his complexion.  He is on the mend but he has clearly been very ill for a day at least. 

That pallor and serious expression look so wrong on his face.  When you think of Jisung, you think of happiness, the first burst of sunshine in your life after growing up in shade.  You think about his awkward laughter during your first conversation, his many hugs, his stupid jokes, his winks and encouragements.  You did not know how to love anyone or anything until you met him. 

In your silence, he looks around, spotting Felix hovering in the doorway. 

“Felix!” he says.  “Hey!  What’s going on?”

“Hey,” Felix says gently.  He looks at you, sees your downturned face as you gather yourself.  He smiles at Jisung with his best distracting grin, like everything is fine, like everything has always been fine.  “Just saying bye, man,” Felix says. 

“Bye?”  Jisung asks.  “Where are you going?  Right before grad?  Not back to Australia, are you?”  Jisung looks at you and pets your head.  “Is Felix leaving?  Is that why you’re upset?”  

“No, Jisung,” you say, forcing your voice.  You shake your head.  “No, it’s not Felix.  I just…”  You look up and meet his eyes, so big and concerned.  You see him at age twelve, thirteen, fourteen, all those years he coaxed you out of your shell and ran around with you.  He was the first person to look back at you, to see something worth reaching for.   You want to touch his face and hug him, but you are certain if you start any of that, you will not be able to do what you need to do.  “Jisung, I’m leaving,” you say.  “I won’t be able to see you again.” 

“What?” he asks, confused for just a moment before he shakes his head and frowns.  “This is about your dad, isn’t it?  Is he doing something?  You have to let me help you—”

“Jisung, you can’t help me—”

“Yes, I can—”

“You can’t—”

“Then who’s going to?” he demands. 

“Not you!”  Anger and sadness combine and you look away, staring at the crinkled juice carton on his bedside table.  He is here because of you.  “Jisung, he made you sick.  He will try to kill you.” 

“What?”  Jisung asks, barely above a whisper.  “H-how?  I don’t even—”

“He has professionals,” you say, meeting his bewildered gaze again.  “And he can do much worse than this.” 

Jisung opens and closes his mouth, failing to find the words, then finally he shakes his head and says, “No.  I don’t care.  I’m not scared, I’m—”

“I’m scared,” you say.  “Jisung, I don’t want to see you ever again, because if something happened to you—”  You cannot conceive of a world where this is no Han Jisung.  You would not be the person you are now if he had never existed.  You would not have any emotions at all.  For the first time, you do not curse your sensitive feelings, rather you relish in feeling them at all, that you have a friend that it hurts to lose.   “Jisung, please,” you say.  “Don’t make this harder for me.  I’m going to go and we can’t see each other again.  The best thing you can do for me is have a good life.” 

Jisung starts crying, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes. 

“That’s not fair,” he says.  “What about you?  What am I supposed to do?”

“I’m sorry,” you say.  You laugh dryly, looking aside. “It would have been better for you if you never knew me.”

“You already know that’s not true,” he says in a small voice. 

You are certain his face is full of pain but you cannot bring yourself to look at him again.  You try to say the word goodbye but it gets stuck in your throat, so finally you just stand up to leave.   

He grabs your arm, tugging you back.  You stare at the bed, not at him. 

“I said my promise was forever,” he says.  “I don’t care if it’s in five years, or ten years, or fifty.  I know I’m not—I know I can’t do much but—if you need me—”

You just nod, scrunching your face to stop the tears.  It does not work.  You pull your arm away and he lets you go, his hands falling helplessly limp to the bed.  You stare at the ground as you walk away, not looking back at him, not even looking at Felix. 

You are standing in the doorway when Jisung says your name one more time, barely more than a whisper yet stopping you faster than all your father’s screaming. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you,” he says. 

You look up at Felix.  You know when you leave this place, you are going to take his hand.  When you climb into bed tonight, you are going to wrap your arms around him and let him hold and comfort you.  You are going to soothe his nightmares the way he does yours.  You are going to carve out a corner of light and happiness in your otherwise dark life.  You are going to do that because you know how, because having a friend made all the difference. 

“Oh, Jisung,” you say, wiping your face.  “You did save me.” 

You do not stop again, walking past Felix and into the corridor.  He follows swiftly behind, laying a hand on your lower back then taking your hand.  You squeeze it and he squeezes back.  You let him guide you out of the building, your vision blurry.  He knows there is nothing he can say to help right now, but he touches you gently and helps you along.  When you get home, he trails behind you as you trudge up the stairs to the bedroom. 

“Can I do something?” he asks. 

You shake your head.  “Not right now, thank you.” Your voice is still weak.  “Maybe later.” 

“Okay,” he says.  “I’ll be here.”

You nod and continue up the stairs, not even sure what your plan is right now.  It feels strange to go about your usual routine but that is what you do, your body carrying you automatically through each task, changing clothes, putting your uniform away, washing your face. 

You sit at your desk and decide you might as well go through your stack of school supplies.  You have been dumping textbooks and notebooks here as the semester ends.  You sort the empty notebooks from the used ones, the books you will never re-read from the ones to shelve.  You find your yearbook in the middle of it all.  You realize you never actually read Jisung’s message. 

You open the book, skimming the other messages from other students.  Lots of Have a Great Summer from Hyunjin’s friends, but a few cute personalized memos too.  Felix’s joking scrawl is at the bottom of a page and it makes you smile and shake your head.  You smile again when you read Hyunjin’s note: Our lives will not be meaningless.  He ended it with a playful, LOVE YOU MY GIRLFRIEND!!

You flip through the book.  You were not in any clubs or on any teams so there are very few pictures of you, just your posed portrait and one photo on a collage page – you, Jisung, and Felix awkwardly smiling as the yearbook photographer snapped a picture of you at lunchtime. 

You swallow.  You already know turning to the last page is going to make you cry.  You could avoid it.  You could close this book and never think about it again.  Your father would never walk into any situation that would deliberately compromise his mental and emotional integrity.  He would deride you for doing so.  You used to think he was right, that your feelings were a weakness. 

You realize your feelings make him weak, not you.  He wants you to be a robotic doll, devoid of feelings, blindly obedient, but you are not.  You will never strive to be that. 

You flip to the final page, filled with Jisung’s writing.  You smile and cry and curse out your father, then close the book and hug it to your chest, your heart beating steadily where you cradle it close. 

-

To the bestest most awesome girl in the world (not just saying that because you’re the only girl I know) from the bestest most awesome boy in the world (including your evil boyfriend, sorry!) 

Usually it’s easy for me to put my thoughts in writing but I’m drawing a blank.  How can I tell you in words how important your friendship is when that friendship is made up of more than words?  I never thought I’d be someone who runs off to parties or sneaks out onto rooftops, and I never thought I’d have so many friends.  Thank you for giving me the world.  I hope we can keep exploring it together. I know no matter what, we’ll still be friends, even if we’re far away after school ends.  Our parents might suck and we might be kinda weird as hell, but we have each other and that counts for something.  We loved each other first so no matter what else happens that will be always true.  Boyfriends will come and go but your best friend is forever!!  And you know I’ll be ready with a shovel if anyone breaks your heart.  I know it’s sappy to say, but it’s always safe with me.  

Times might be hard and we might drift apart, but I know we’ll see each other again and it will be like we never left.  Take care of yourself if I’m not there.  Keep fighting!!!  Nothing will be impossible for you. 

Your best friend now + always,

Han Jisung ♡

[a-local-idiots-shitpost]

and this is why you don´t befriend lonely Dragons

Magic shenanigans and weird Fae things and suddenly the Magicless prefect of Ramshackle is the parent to a (maybe) Half Human Half Dragon Fae

this got 1157 words

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what do you think is the worst thing that could ever happen when you have a sleepover with one of your buddies? they puke in your bed? they literally kick you out of your bed? the worst of all they steal your blankets? well how about this a surprise parenthood where your Dragon Fae friend, who might have some feelings that go way past just friendly for you, without even knowing it himself magicked an egg into existence where a Dragon Fae will hatch from

yeah this will be one awkward wake up call especially when it was actually Grim who woke you both up

“YUUU! why are you and Hornton sleeping with food!? come on throw it in the pan we can eat from this for months!” the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes was Grim standing on your chest, which is odd because usually you wake up to him constantly kicking you in the face because he´s dreaming of food... wait did he just say both of you are sleeping with food?

“Grim?” you rubbed your eyes “what the fuck are you talking about? I made sure there weren´t any chips bag on my bed, do you remember last time Ace and Deuce were staying here and we forgot one?” Grim just grinned “yeah you had some serious cleaning to do” he smiled and opened his arms “didn´t you notice the giant egg Hornton is cradling? we can eat for who knows how long from it!” you still weren´t awake enough to completely understand what Grim was saying “Grim why would Malleus hold an egg? We don-” when you were at least awake enough to fully comprehend what is around you, you nearly jumped out of the bed not only is Malleus still disregarding any personal space you could ever have he was holding a black egg with protrusions that resemble scales and a pattern at the top that almost looks like it could be a bow, it actually looks a lot like the one you use for your school uniform, but now is not them time to admire pretty and suspiciously familiar patterns on an egg! you carefully moved Grim of off your chest and shook Malleus awake

“Malleus! hey Malleus!! wake up we have a serious panic moment on our hands!!!” but he didn´t budge even a little bit, he is once again so deep in dream land that he doesn´t even know what is happening around him, even Grim is trying to wake him up but for completely different reasons “Hornton! wake up I´m hungry! let go of that egg, me getting breakfast is a lot more important than your dreams!” of course Grim is only thinking about food but if neither of you can wake him than you have to use your ultimate weapon, the only sentence that could even make him come back from the dead “Malleus wake up Ramshackle is burning and the Gargoyles are falling!” this made him jump up as if he just got hit by lightning

“not the Gargoyles, take Grim but not them!” this caused Grim to cross his little arms “wow Hornton glad to see were I stand” if this wasn´t a highly serious moment you would have gladly died from laughter but no time for fun only for him hopefully telling you what you think is happening is wrong

“Malleus how are the Dragon Fae reproducing and can it just happen completely asexually” Malleus blinked, it seems like he will also need some time to fully comprehend how serious this situation is and what just happened while both of them were sleeping “I think so? I mean on very rare occasion a Dragon Fae can be born if only one parent has strong feelings for the other, but why are you asking this now?” you don´t know how he doesn´t notice that he has been cradling an egg the entire time but there seems to be still some wonders left in Twisted Wonderland though some are betters than others, mainly those that don´t involve random parenthood because one of your friends has a crush on you

“Malleus… would you do me a favor and look down” he was confused but did what you told him and… “why do you want me t- where did this come from?” he was… eerily calm actually, you expected some more surprise and maybe even some fire but not just him being as cool as cool can be and even having the gal to ask you that, as if you aren´t as if not more confused than him

“you tell me because there is only one of use who could do this” it seemed he had to think about it for a moment “it seems we are now parents Yuu” yeah actually he might be more freaked out than you thought because he´s been far to calm this entire time, maybe you should get Lilia involved in this “alright Malleus do me a favor and one take a deep breath” you saw him do this one immediately “and two keep Grim away form the maybe Dragon egg because he already said he wants to eat it” and now he was glaring at the poor monster, you almost felt bad about leaving Grim alone with Malleus but if he needs help he can always call the for the Ghosts or see if he can out run Malleus

you didn´t ponder on it longer than you had to and hurried to the downstairs phone and quickly punched in one of your emergency contacts, which included Lilia and it didn´t took long before he picked up

“Lilia Vanrouge speaking if you are here to accuse me of war crimes it´s not Lilia Vanrouge speaking”

“very funny Lilia quick question is Malleus an old enough Dragon to be able to reproduce?” you couldn´t hear anything on the other side, even Lilia stopped breathing but then he got loud, really loud but at least he dropped the speaker but at least you could hear some of what he was screaming about and he sounded giddy at least “SILVER! SEBEK! I`M GOING OUT AND DON`T WAIT FOR ME SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT HAPPENED!!!” yeah really giddy but you know both of you will be in for one Hell of a scolding when Lilia get´s over here, so maybe you should make sure Malleus didn´t kill Grim for getting to close to his (both of yours?) egg

as it turns out you didn´t need to because, yes he does want to murder Grim for it and Grim just jumped directly in your face

“YUU! wants to kill me!”

“he still wants to eat our child!”

“not true!”

“you said it multiple times”

well… at least nobody can say you don´t have experience with looking after literal infants, still calmer now than it will be when Lilia get´s a hold of both of you

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Malleus during the entirety of the fic on the inside: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Malleus during the entirety of the fic on the outside: oh bother...

[myunghology]

NOWAY SO UM, i was thinking of a prompt and then i remembered i haven’t seen this theme on ritsu so…

maybe a fic of knight!ritsu and reader being a princess/prince :3?

i have like two ideas for the fic, you can choose the one you like; the first time they meet or being in a secret relationship

Or maybe mix both 👀… ( /j but if you want oke :3 )

and em that’s all, i like your fics and smau, I’m your biggest fan wuuuu :3

✦ — REWRITE, IGNITE, RESTART.

summary a normal day in a royal highschool, you find yourself seeking warmth of a young knight, despite meeting him for the „first” time.

pairings ritsu sakuma x gender neutral! reader, ft knights <3, prince/ss x knight au!

warnings none!! wee bit of an ever after high au but i just stole the 'royal and rebel' group things for inspo HAHHA

a/n if only.

Right. How cliché. A school that seperates students from their origins.. You would complain, but it's not like you could do anything about it. You've made friends here, anyways.

Students separated into two groups— one's with direct Royal status, and one's far from it— or one's who usually served for them. This sounds scandalous, but it really isn't.

Take your friends for example! Tsukasa Suou, the next heir to his family. Of course he was bound to be famous for it. You were also included in that group— the only child of a queen! Obviously, you were close with Suou.

Hmm, yes. Him and his friend group of Knights. And one princess. You'd be lying if you said you didn't have a small girl crush on Arashi.

— "I have never said that! What on earth are you babbling about?!" You snap out if your thoughts as you hear the young heirs voice from across the school's halls, he seems to be arguing with one of his friends again, your eye twitching from the sudden noise.

You approach the noise, seeing the short ex-king, now bound to be a knight. And the up and coming king, Ah. What an old sight. Tsukasa Suou and Leo Tsukinaga, as always.

"Suo~ I was just kidding! You always take jokes seriously.. You're such a killjoy!" Leo growls at him as Tsukasa closes his eyes, as if bracing for impact. My God, don't they get tired from bickering all day?

You feel fingers hands tap you on your shoulder, you turn around and see Arashi standing in front of you. And thus— you can't hold in your complaint anymore.

"Don't they get tired from arguing all day? I feel like I want to shit myself from how much they do it. It's the fifth time this week and it's Wednesday!" You whine, making the young princess in front of you giggle.

"You'll get used to it soon enough," She teases playfully, as the sight unfolds, Sena ironically joining the argument. You sigh, whilst Arashi shakes her head and changes the topic.

"Anyway, love, have you seen Ritsu?" She asks, as you try to hide the visible blush on your face. "No.. Didn't see him in alchemy classes today, actually." You answer, pouting.

"You miss your husband, don't you?" She laughs at your pout, but somehow still managing to tease you. "Don't even... My own parents don't even know that me and Ritsu know each other." You complain internally.

The princess tilts her head, "Seriously?" She asks in pity, your pout slowly getting more visible, as she takes that as a 'yes'.

The day passes by quickly, you find yourself seeking for the young Knight. As a response— you end up going to his favorite sleeping places.

Haaa..~ the young Sakuma. Always wandering around. No wonder why this guy was distantly related to the Cheshire Cat. He was almost exactly like him.

The sun is almost about to set, the school's yard still looking as beautiful as it's always been. You've usually found Ritsu here when he wasn't in classes, I mean.. Who wouldn't? It's gorgeous.

You feel a hand cover your eyes, a frown plastering your face before a voice perks up. "Guess who?"

What a familiar voice. Wow, who could it be?

"Ritsu. I'll kill you." You scowl at him as the male scoff, removing his hand. "Language," Ritsu warned, before ruffling your hair, messing it up slightly.

"I'm sorry, my prince/ss. Do you want me to give you my lap for your royal nap needs? Want a pillow? A blanket, too?"

Ritsu could not be more sarcastic and teasing if he tried.

"What do you mean, 'Language'? I didn't even swear." A tired groan comes out of your lips as you say that, making him laugh. "What's up? You wanted to find me, no?"

". . . . Nuh uh."

"Hah."

"I'm gonna go back home for summer break. You coming with me?" You ask, raising an eyebrow slightly. Ah. That's what it was.

"So.. To put it in words, you're leaving me?" Ritsu asks, cocking his head to the side, replicating your eyebrow raise. "I literally just asked you if you wanted to stay with me." You huff, turning away from him.

"Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah..." He whined, tugging on your hand before you got too far away. As if he already knew you were about to walk away.

"You'll get lost without me. And you'll get into trouble. Don't do that. You're mine, remember?" If anything, Ritsu couldn't stand boredom. He would rather spend his time with his prince/ss than lay around alone and have nothing to do.

"You're usually the one who gets me into trouble." You retort, trying to pull away from his grip, but it was already inevitable.

"... True... true..." He muses, a smirk spreading across his face as he kept his grip on you. "But you love me, remember?"

Ah yes. How could one forget Ritsu's insufferable teasing?

"Unfortunately." A pout plastered on your face, the knight letting out another scoff, shaking his head.

Ritsu gave you a teasing, slightly mocking gasp as he pretended to be offended at such a dry response. "You wound me. Here I am, trying to be a loving, supportive boyfriend, and you're giving me a unfortunately? Where's the 'I love you too?' or the I love you more?'" He groaned dramatically, putting his hand to his forehead.

"You aren't answering my question." Deadpanning, glaring at him as he sighs and caves in. "I can't.." He mutters unexpectedly, making your eyes widen.

That was a rare answer.

The male offers to take you back to your palace, a pout placed on your face the whole way there. Seeing this chance— Ritsu obviously teased you the whole way home.

The sun sets quickly and you're already back, your eye twitching once you hear from your mother to get changed into something proper, as something important came up.

You were now standing, right in the middle of the great hall with your parents, head tilted in confusion.

Until—

"Ah, yes! [Name], my darling," Your mother calls out, before continuing. "We've hired someone new for you— to keep you safe. After what happened before.. I wouldn't even dare to let you out our sight!" She exaggerates, making your head tilt.

"So.. Who's gonna be following me around this time?" You ask, sucking in a sharp breath through your teeth before a smooth voice interrupts you— your eyes widening.

"I'm sorry I'm late. Wouldn't be so much of a knight if I was late to meeting you, now would I?" You freeze as a familiar voice comes from behind you as you quickly turn around, seeing the same black haired male you once saw earlier.

Your dad smiles unknowingly, "Ritsu Sakuma, he's gonna be by your side 24/7, from now on!" You laugh sheepishly, before retorting. "Not in my sleep too, right?"

"Do you want me to?" He hums right next to your ear, making you shiver. "No- I just.."

"Relax, [Name]. Me and your mother will go out for just a short amount of time, so he'll be here to keep you safe for the time being." Your father says— in a rather calm voice. "I can take care of myself.."

"Sure you can."

myunghology: part 2 when hahahah idk bro

[megantheestallion-ismypresident]

I kissed a girl and I liked it Part 1.

Jennifer check x black!fem reader

Summary: y/n and Jennifer are the hottest girls in school and together you are unstoppable but as you both were sacrificed and transform to a demon you both feed off of males killing them for your own pleasure and hunger... but you both are hungry for each other.

Y/n and Jennifer have been childhood best friends since as long as you can remember. Both of your parents knew each other back in high school and were best friends. Y/n met jennifer back in kindergarten. You were pretty shy until Jennifer talked to you first, and that's when your friendship began y/n, and Jennifer became really close and became best friends. Y/n and Jennifer did everything together as kids. Nothing was gonna wreck your friendship. Until needy came along. Y/n was a bit jealous since she didn't want another girl being friends with her best friend. Y/n never really talked to needy, except Jennifer. Jennifer was actually nice to her. Jennifer tried to get you to like her, but you listened and talked to needy. Y/n still isn't fond of needy, but she tolerates her because of Jennifer.

As y/n and Jennifer got to highschool you guys were the hottest girls in school. every guy in school wanted the both of you which was flattering, but y/n and Jennifer thought guys were a waste of time.. they come and they go. Y/n and Jennifer were both flag girls on the cheerleading team. Most girls in school didn't want to be on the cheerleading team but when y/n and Jennifer got into the team, the team was more popular than ever even guys came. But only to watch the hottest girls in school. Needy would be sitting in the bleachers cheering both of you on. Needy waved at Jennifer as Jennifer smiled and wave back making y/n roll her eyes. "I can't believe you're friends with her.. why do even talk to her?" Y/n says getting irritated but jealous, y/n has a little crush on Jennifer... but who doesn't Jennifer is literally a goddess.

"Cmon y/n, give her a chance... it sounds like someone sounds jealous." Jennifer teases as she smiles. "I'm not jealous." Y/n says defensively as she smiles back at jennifer. "There's this band called Low shoulder and their performing at this bar you wanna join me and needy?" Jennifer's says to you, you roll your eyes at the name of needy but you didn't want to stay home all day doing nothing so y/n agreed. "Sure I'll be down, pick me up at 8?" Y/n says.

Y/n was getting ready wearing her low rise jeans and a white crop top and her last finished touch a Strawberry scented lip gloss. As Y/n heard the door ring she opened it to see jennifer and needy. "Wow, you look hot." Jennifer said looking at y/n up and down making your heart tingle. "Aww thanks Jen, you look hot too." Y/n says as they both smile at each other but y/n averted her eyes over to needy making y/n drop her mood. "Oh hey, needy." Y/n deadpanned. "HI, y/n you look great." Needy smiles at y/n. ,"I know.. maybe you should take some pointe-" y/n says but jennifer cuts you off before you say anything.

"Alright let's go don't wanna keep the band waiting. " Jennifer says grabbing needy's hand leading to the car, y/n saw them holding hands making you wanna put your hands on needy, holding hands with Jennifer was our thing. "Please God give me the strength too not put my hands on this white girl." Y/n thought to herself as she walked behind Jennifer and needy making inside the car.

As they all made it to the bar, y/n and Jennifer walked in the bar grabbing some attention as they enter the bar as needy trailed behind them. "God, I can't wait till I'm older to get wasted, have you ever heard of peach schnapps?" Jennifer asked walking towards the bar. "Nah, I've never heard of that" y/n says.

"they're so good y/n, they even taste good when they come out of your nose midpuke." Jen says.

"Hey Jen and y/n, you ladies look nice." Craig a classmate says as they walk by y/n and Jennifer. "Thank you." Y/n says looking at her hello kitty acrylic nails. "Oh hey Craig didn't see you there." Jennifer says without enthusiasm, making y/n snicker a little laugh as she elbows Jennifer. "Aww he thinks he's cute enough for us." Jennifer says teasingly In fake disbelief. Y/n laughs as Jennifer pulls out out a pack of Camel wides giving one to y/n as they were about to light it, Roman duda snatches the pack if cigarettes out if Jennifer's hand. "You're smoking dicks now, you two?" Roman asks. "What? we like the Wides." Y/n says as they both stick the fat cigarette between their lips and inhales. "I just bet you do. I should arrest the both of you for possession under the legal age." Roman says making y/n and Jennifer burst out laughing. "Arrest us, pfft! You're not even a real cop." Jennifer shouts amused.

" two more months and I'm on the force for real. Then I'll be able to cuff the both of you whenever the hell I want." He says suggestively as he grips her wrist and twists behind her back Making y/n roll her eyes. "Roman keep it in the bedroom." Y/n scolds as Roman looks at needy.

"Oh, Hey needy I didn't see you there. Would like too-" "No thanks." Needy says fake smiling.

" Oh my God, Jen the band. You can tell they're from the city all of that stylish expensive shit . I wish he had more guys like that in Devils kettle." Y/n says as Jen grabs y/n and needy's hand dragging them towards the stage. " HI, uhm we wanted to meet you these are my two friends y/n and needy." Jen introduces. "I'm Nikolai wolf, and this is my band." He reaches down shaking Jennifer's hand and y/n's. "Yeah! Soft shoulder, right? I've heard you guys are super good at playing instruments." Jennifer awkwardly says.

"Soft shoulder that's a dumb name." Needy mutters under her breath making y/n roll her eyes. "What was that?" Nikolai ask. "Nothing." Needy says fake smiling. "Can I buy you a drink? I mean, I'll see you if I can get a drink. They make this 9/11 tribute shooter. It's red, white, and blue, but you have to drink it fast before it gets all brownish." Jennifer says as she grabs y/n hands walking away pulling y/n towards her. " I don't trust that band, you guys." Needy says making y/n roll her eyes. " this bitch is no fun I don't know why Jennifer brings her around." Y/n thought to herself.

" Why? I think the lead singer wants me and y/n." Jen says looking at needy.

" you may not believe me but I heard them wanting to bad things to you guys it sounds sinister. And the only reason he wants you and y/n because he thinks you both are virgins, I swear I heard them talking." Needy says panicky.

"Yeah right! Me and y/n aren't even virgins anymore, thanks to roman." Jennifer winks at y/n making them both smile at each other.

"Gross." Needy says. "Well if Nikolai wants innocent, we both can be innocent. We'll be innocent fucking sunshine just like you." Jennifer says angrily.

"Hey, I'm not little miss sunshine." Needy says.

"Sure." Y/n says trying to break the awkward silence and tension but the tension broke away when Nikolai decided to speak.

"Good evening, Devils lake." Nikolai said.

"It's Devils kettle." Someone shouted in the back.

"Sorry. Anyway, we're Soft shoulder and we just wanna make you happy." He winks at Y/n and Jennifer. The band starts their song as Jennifer's eyes never leaves Nikolai, y/n was to busy staring and admiring Jennifer her blue eyes, her jet black hair, and her pink glossy plum lips. Suddenly out of nowhere flames appear on the wood paneling next to the stage. Needy was the first to notice. The flames quickly climb up to the ceiling and began to blaze uncontrollably. People screamed and scattered. Nikolai turns and sees the fire spreading, but he exchange glances with his band mates. Nikolai seems cool and composed as he watched from the stage.

"We need to go!" Needy shouts as he grabs y/n's and Jennifer's hand pulling them into a tiny bathroom. Y/n started choking on the smoke, they climbed on the toilet boost each other out of the bathroom window. Hundreds are still trapped inside. Jennifer collapses in y/n's arms.

"It's hot y/n, I think I'm on fire. Oh God. I'm burning." Jen says dazed.

"You're okay I promise, we're gonna be fine." Y/n says looking at needy a bit scared. But all three girls jump. It's Nikolai.

"Are you girls alright?" He asks with fake concern.

"were fine maybe you should go find the rest of your band." Needy says.

"God it feels like hell out here, come hang with us in the van for a while, just until they hose the place down." Nikolai says.

"Okay-okay. I want to see your van, cmon guys let's go to the van." Jennifer says as she grabs y/n's hands but needy stands there not wanting to go to the van.

"Why? I don't trust him." Needy says.

"Fuck! Stop it. Just stop it, needy!." Jennifer shouts as she drags y/n towards Nikolai white van. Needy watches y/n and Jennifer getting into the van. Nikolai gives needy a vicious smile as he gets inside the van driving off.

Needy stumbles into her bedroom overwhelmed. Her clothes are damaged. Needy grabs her phone and quickly dials her boyfriend chip.

"Hey, Needy how the show with Jennifer and Y/n." Chips answers tiredly.

"Thank God your there." Needy says worriedly.

"Jennifer and y/n are gone. They both ran off with that stupid rock band."

"Jennier and y/n are gone? Are they both okay?" Chip said worriedly and tiredly.

"I don't know Jennifer and y/n are still with those creeps! They had one of those white vans with no windows. The back was all blacked out."

"Also the bar burned down." Needy adds on.

Needy heard her doorbell chimes.

"I gotta go." Needy says hanging up the phone.

Needy hangs up the phone and rushes downstairs. She opens the door. Nobodys there. Needy slams the door turns around and screams. Jennifer and y/n are both standing in the dark hallway, looking ghostly pale and smiling. Both of their clothes are tattered and stained in blood. Both of their makeup is smeared and their eyes are sunken like a zombies.

"Uhm, Jen, y/n." Needy asks. Y/n and Jennifer didn't say anything and continue smiling with bloody teeth.

"What happened to you both?" Needy asks in the silence. Unilt she heard a dripping sound. Needy looks down to see large drops of blood splattering the floor. Jennifer continues to smile staring directly at y/n.

"Jen, Y/n." Needy says her voice shaking. Y/n and Jennifer let out a horrifying banshee scream making needy scared. Wailing at the top of their lungs. Y/n and Jennifer vomits black bile all over themselves and on the floor. Y/n and Jennifer fall onto their knees as they scream turn to insane laughter. Needy tries to run but, y/n and Jennifer grabs her and throws her against a wall, pinning her. Jennifer slowly brushes her face against needy's earlobe. Needy was so terrified she didn't move a muscle. Y/n smiles at needy's terrified facial expression.

"Are you scared, needy?" Y/n says whispering into needy's ear. Needy nods her heard as Jennifer parts her lips. Then suddenly, Jen and y/n stops and pushes needy on the floor. Y/n and Jennifer grabbed hand in hand bolting out the door and take off running down the street. Needy is motionless as she stumbles her way to the doorway.

"Y/n, Jennifer!!!" Needy yells, searching for her two friends but they were nowhere to be found. Needy falls down to the ground crying holding herself in a hug form trying to calm herself down. "Please let this be a bad dream." Needy says to herself trying to comfort herself.

[mins-fins]

a motherfuckin' trainwreck — yeon sieun

yeon sieun x gender neutral!reader

requested : !

warnings : might be a little ooc (?)

sieun is literally the awkwardest of awkward people

he doesn't even know how he actually got into a relationship is he’s being honest

he's weird about affection too

not like in a "oh i'll kill you if you touch me" kinda way but in a "oh my god your hugging me what do i do?" kinda way

whenever you give him hugs he kinda just stands there, confused

but he loves holding hands

and linking arms probably

your basically the only one who can distract him from studying too much and he pretends to hate it but can't hide how grateful he is

sieun struggles to voice his feelings and he's grateful with how patient you are with him

he probably sometimes still uses platonic words to address you and you just go "wow, friendzoning me after all we've been through?" he would roll his eyes, but he still loves you

your probably on his mind all day

while he's in class he's probably wondering "oh how's [name] doing?", "is [name] alright?", "is [name] happy?"

will literally always sleep on you if he's tired

laying on your shoulder or lap

he's SOOO clingy but then he'll deny it???

"sieun you know your super clingy right?" "stop lying, [name]".

your love language is physical touch and sieun's is probably words of affirmation

oh he LOOVES complimenting you

he just finds everything about you admiring and can't resist the urge to compliment you whenever he gets

"you have nice eyes, [name]", "you know your super pretty right?", "i can't believe how i'm dating such an amazing person".

sometimes he does it without even realizing

and you go so red which he laughs at

despite that sieun isn't the greatest at taking compliments himself

whenever you compliment him he freezes and goes red, not being able to respond

"sieun, your so smart, i can't even begin to rant about how great you are".

"uh huh" sieun.exe.has stopped working

sieun is so confident about the relationship despite how quiet he is??

like he'll hear someone talking bad about you in front of him and he'll say something like "that's my partner, watch your mouth".

he probably gets jealous so easily too

like he just loves your attention and when it's on someone else whose so random

he'll glare from afar

and then you'll ask him later like- "why were you glaring earlier?"

he would probably lie but then say, "fine i was jealous".

then you'd laugh and tease him about it as long as possible

sieun probably helps you study too

he gets so annoyed by you doing everything but listening to him so he literally has to force you to

"[name] can you pay attention?", "no, i'm too busy staring at your pretty face", "shut up".

your literally always at his house

his parents are barely home so you basically live there at this point

"sieun, your beds so comfy", "don't mess up my pillows, [name]".

you probably sleep on him too

like- you'll be laying on his shoulder as he finishes his math work for the night

and you'll have to force him to stop so he could get at least 5 hours of sleep

your probably one of the only people whose made sieun smile more than once in a day (sorry suho)

he hates your stupid jokes but smiles anyway because he loves you so much it's hard not to

he has a habit of running his finger up and down your arm, it's basically become a routine for him

HIS EYES OH MY GOD HIS EYES- he always stares at you with this majestic look

they're always on you if not on that damn paper all the time

he could simply go on and on about you and your interests and how amazing you are and how much he loves you

AND he's such an AMAZING LISTENER too like he remembers all of your interests, pet peeves, what you like, what you hate, your icks, everything

you guys probably listen to music together <333

your the only person who knows the music in his playlist

you read together too

whenever you guys read dramatic books you always give an over-the-top reaction whilst he just stares at you like your insane

"OH MY GOD SHE KILLED HIM!?", "yeah.. that's what it says, [name]".

he's probably just super calm and your super overdramatic

you guys are like the jumpy extrovert x calm introvert trope

you'll be jumping around and full of energy whilst he holds onto you so you don't get lost

he lets you clean his scars and treat his wounds since he likes when you do it

on rare occasions he likes to ramble about just random things and he's so cute when he does it too

like- he'll be going on about his interests and you just sit there staring at him lovingly

you guys are literally opposites attract

sieun being the "grumpy" and reserved introvert whilst your the jumpy and energetic extrovert

i love grumpy x sunshine tropes can you tell??

you always buy him food

making sure to feed him too

you always struggle with that though

"sieun you have to eat", "no i have to study [name]".

he still will eat for you though

sometimes he just likes to lean on his hand and admire you

just stare at you

probably thinking about how pretty you are in his head

he sometimes unconsciously smiles while thinking about you

he just loves you very very much

[glitteringsunshine]

Pairing: Leroy Jethro Gibbs x Reader Wife.

Jethro's POV :

“ Ouch Ouch Ouch” I hear Y/N ‘s voice from the kitchen as I enter home.

“ What’s up” I ask, hurrying to the kitchen. “ Why on Earth did you touch those pans with your bare hands?” I ask as I took her hand put it under the cold water from the top.

“ Hey I didn’t realise that the pans were so hot. Not my fault. Well OK partly my fault” she scowled as I rolled my eyes.

“ Go sit down , I am cooking” I say.

“ No. I will cook.” She said stubbornly. “ The steak is done. Just making the mac and cheese to go with it.”

“ I will do it.” I said.

“ But”

“ Y/N” I said sternly.

“ Alright Alright” she pouted.

I chuckled gently kissing her fingers.

After freshening up , I came down to see that she already set the table. I took a couple of candles , lighting them on the table before turning off the lights.

“ ohh wow” she gasped. “ pretty romantic”.

“ Well the Kids are away for the chess tournament in Baltimore. I thought I can make fill use of this time” I chuckled.

“ So while our kids are getting pampered by my parents, you thought of a candlelight dinner. Nice” she laughed. “ Ohh Jackson drove to Baltimore to today to watch our kids play. Mum and Dad convinced him to stay in for the night.” She said warmly. “ Well it’s not much , steak,mac and cheese , bear and ice-cream .I hope you like it.” She blushed.

“ Yeah”. I said. “ But I think I love the company more.”

“ Jethro” she giggled. “ Okay truth be told , I actually cooked your favourite steak to make it up to you. I know you have been angry with me.”

“ I have been” I confessed. “ But everytime you looked at me with your puppy dog eyes, it melted away.” I sighed.

“ Jethro, I am sorry for stonewalling your case. You were investigating a missing navy captain for embezzlement and arms robbery. But the embezzlement was a deep cover created by state to get hold of foreign arms dealer. When you came too close to the case , we could not have his cover blown, hence the stonewalling and the wild goose chase. I was doing my Job Jethro. I am not really happy about the stonewalling I did, but a navy captain’s life was at risk. I did what you would have done , and I am not apologising for that Jethro. But I wanted to cook for you to say I love you.”

“ I love you too Mrs. Gibbs “ I smile kissing her forehead. “ I won’t deny I was angry with you, but that’s different. I was angry with you as a professional, not as my wife.”

“ Good” she giggles.

“ You know darling, if you look at me and giggle like that , we won’t complete dinner. You have no idea how much I have wanted to bend you down and fuck you this entire week” I chuckle.

“ Why don’t you” she says innocently. “ Take out your anger on me. Punish me . Fuck me into submission.” She said blushing.

“ I would love to take you up on your offer , but let’s have dinner now.” I said gently smacking her ass.

…..

Reader’s POV:

Jethro led me up the stairs to our bedroom . He sat on the chair.

“ Strip” he commanded me.

“ Now kneel”

“ You have been a bad girl sweetheart. Tell me what should I do?” he asked.

“ Punish me”

“ Punish me what Y/N”

“ Sir” I replied.

“ Aah you would love that won’t you , my good girl “ he chuckled.

“ You remember your safeword darling “ he asked and I nodded.

“ Now crawl” he said calling me with his fingers. “ Show me how much of a slut you are to me “

I leaned forward before unzipping his pants licking the tip of his cock. I then took him in my mouth. “ Remember Y/N you have a safeword, and a gesture too. Use either of them I will stop, okay?”

I nodded taking his cock deeper in my mouth. He held my head fucking my face shooting his load into me which I swallowed eagerly.

“ On your fours” he commanded.

As I bend on the bed he came up behind be , fingering my slit.

“ Ahh so wet. Who are you so wet for?”

“ You sir only you”.

He fingered my ass and spanked me .

“ Where do you want my cock bitch?” he chuckled.

“ Pussy ,Ass ,both” I gasped as he lingered me to an organization.

He put on a condom before entering my ass. As he moved inside me he lingered my clit and kneaded my breast.

“ Ahh fuck fuck fuck Y/N. Ohh wow,ahh”

I arched my hips to meet him. As I climaxed again he withdrew and taking out his condom he entered my pussy , hitting me at my sweet spot.

“ Aah yes Jethro yes just like that “ I screamed in pleasure. “ Jethro I am gonna cum again. “

“ Shh Babe take it like a good girl” he chuckled . “ You will cum only when I tell you to”

“ Jethro ohh fuck ohh please. Please” I begged.

“ Okay Y/N, let go now . Cum on my cock baby.”

I let go at the command squealing in pleasure as he held my hips to steady myself.

“ Y/N “ he said hoarsely. “ I want to look into your eyes when I finish.”

He then withdrew to lay me on my back before entering me.

“ Come on Y/N, wrap your legs around me”

“ Ohh fuck you are so tight. Wow . Ohh fuck yeah yes. Baby yes. “ I could hear his moans . It reflected mine .

He looked into my eyes before claiming my moans with a deep kiss. “ Jethro ,Oh Jethro. I can’t hold it anymore. Please. I am gonna cum”

He bit my neck and breasts, expert’s sucking my nipples and intensifying every pleasurable sensation in my body. P

“ Yes baby. Cum for me”.

As I climaxed clenching his cock and shuddering with pleasure, he went over the edge shooting his load into mine. He panted touching his forehead against mine.

“ Oh Y/N” I love you so much” he said gently kissing my forehead and brushing his lips against mine. As I ran my fingers through his hair he patted my head before lixking and kissing all the hickeys he had left. He went further down massaging my stomach and gently leaving a trail of kisses. He cupped my pussy before eating me out lapping up every bit of cum that was leaking up from me. As I climaxed on his tongue , he pulled me up for a kiss so that I can taste us.

He poured me a glass of water. “ Hydrate” he said as I sipped from the glass. He then put it on the bedside table before cupping my face and kissing my eyelids and nose.

“ You know maybe I should be a real bitch sometimes. I would love to be punished like this” I giggled.

“ Ahh love , you are my bitch. My sweet little bitch. You are all mine and I am all yours love.”

he whispers. “ I love you my dear. I love you so much “ he said pulling me closer cuddling me.

“ I love you too Jethro,my love” I said resting my heart against his chest feeling his heart beat with the rhythm of love for me.”

[iridescent-petrichor]

she’s something like a miracle

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Warnings: none !!

Words: 1K

A/N: no spoilers for obx3!!! i did finish it though, so it’s definitely helping my love for jj

You faced yourself in the mirror, twisting and turning to make sure every piece of your outfit was perfectly in place. You were wearing a longer dress, one that always flew in the wind in a way that made you feel magical.

JJ had planned a whole date with you, not giving many details other than what time he was picking you up. Normally you would’ve been on the nervous side, not knowing about the plans of the night, but you knew JJ very well and you trusted him with your entire heart.

The knock at the door made you look up from the view of the mirror, grabbing a bag, and making your way out to open the front door.

JJ stood before you, holding out a bouquet of flowers. He grinned upon seeing you, taking in your outfit with a deep breath.

“Wow,” He muttered, his voice low.

You did a halfhearted curtsy, laughing lightly at JJ’s awed reaction.

“Are these for me?” You couldn’t help but ask, nodding towards the flowers in his hand.

JJ brings himself out of his daze, gaze refocusing on you. “Oh! Yeah, these, uh- hey did you realize how fucking expensive flowers are?”

With a laugh, you gently grab the bouquet from him, moving further into your house to find a vase. “I was vaguely aware, yes.”

JJ stood at the door, shifting his weight on his feet while he waited for you to return. When you did, he extended his hand, leading you down your steps to the car outside.

You hesitated, almost stopping in your tracks when you saw the truck parked in your driveway. Part of you thought he would’ve borrowed the Twinkie from John B, or he would’ve taken his bike.

“Is this Heyward’s?”

“Yeah, he let me borrow it for the date.” JJ was so casual about it, giving you a lazy grin.

“So, you’re doing deliveries for him for the rest of the week then, aren’t you?” You asked, JJ’s smile not faltering.

“Two weeks, actually. Hop in.” He opened the door, only releasing your hand once you’d climbed into the car.

He drove through Outer Banks, still refusing to tell you where you were being taken to.

If there was one thing JJ was good at, it was distracting you. He managed to keep up the conversation just enough that you were starting to forget that you didn’t know the plan until he was pulling into the parking lot.

When you looked up, leaning forward to see out the window, you noticed the ice cream shop you’d been wanting to try.

It made sense to you instantly, remembering how you’d been talking JJ’s ear off about trying this place ever since you saw it one afternoon.

The second he parked, he rushed out of the car, jogging around to your door so he could open it before you got the chance.

“Very gentlemanly.” You take his hand and walk with him into the ice cream shop.

It was less crowded than you expected for a warm summer day, but neither of you was complaining. You ordered quickly and JJ grabbed the two ice creams, handing one to you with an exaggerated bow.

“For you, princess.”

You giggled, taking the ice cream from him. “Thank you, kind sir.”

Unbeknownst to you, a young girl in line was staring at you with wide eyes while her mother stepped up to order for her. With her mom’s back turned, she snuck off and approached you, tugging on the end of your dress.

You look down, surprised when you saw the child before you. Still, you gave her a smile, glancing around to see if she had a parent nearby. JJ looked between the two of you, fighting back the smile on his face.

“Are you really a princess?” She asked, her voice so small and full of wonder that you could feel your heart swell.

Behind you, you could hear JJ’s surprised laugh, now grinning ear to ear. Without a word, he took the ice cream from your hand, letting you focus on the child’s important question.

You crouched down to meet the girl’s eye level, plastering on your sweetest smile.

“Yeah, I am.”

Her eyes lit up, staring up at you with awe. There was a spark in her eyes you were hoping would never die.

At that point, her mother had finished ordering, now noticing her child was no longer waiting beside her. She rushed up to you, gently pulling her daughter away from you.

“I am so sorry!” She apologized profusely as you straightened back up. “She’s been very keen on wandering lately, and I can hardly keep track of her. I hope she wasn’t too much trouble for you two?”

You shook your head, taking a half step closer to JJ. “Not at all.” 

“She’s a real princess, mom!” The girl insisted, pointing at you.

Her mom laughed, putting a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “Is that so?”

The girl nodded, dropping her hand to her side.

“Well, thank you…” The mother stopped, looking at you expectantly.

“Y/N.” You supplied, shaking her hand.

“Thank you, Y/N.” She gave you a warm smile, walking her daughter off to grab her ice cream.

“Thank you, princess Y/N!” The child called after you, waving excitedly before turning back to her mom, having a conversation you could no longer hear.

JJ handed back your ice cream, the wide smile on his face becoming more contagious by the second.

“Well, princess, are you ready to go?”

You nodded, licking the ice cream that had started to drip down the cone, leaning into JJ when he put his free hand around your waist.

“If I’m a princess, does that make you a prince, J?” You asked, a faux serious expression on your face.

“Of course, look at me!” He gestured to himself, his navy blue t-shirt and black pants clearly not the epitome of wealth. “I’m the most prince-like dude here!”

You threw your head back in laughter, JJ’s grip on your waist tightening ever so slightly. “You really are, J. You really are.”

[l8rs-gat0rs]

Okay I literally just found your account with your post talking about Billie in SWARM I WEN ABSOLUTELY FERAL YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SHE IS ETHREAL

…okay anyways I have a request

So what if you end at the group’s house and you get the counseling cause like you have bad anxiety and social anxiety and you just push everyone away and run from your problems so that’s essentially how you end up at the house. And then you end up wanting to leave like Dre did but it’s because you don’t think that they can help you. BUT Eva convinces you to stay and like you slowly fall in love…or something..maybe add some smut. Literally add anything you want I am just so excited to read it♥️

Save Me From Myself

Pairing: Eva x Female reader

Wow thank you so so much for this request! I actually have social anxiety so I am excited to write about it. Also trust me, I went feral too. She is definitely ethereal. The sexual tension she had with Dre was crazyyyy and she's such a good actress, the micro expressions and everything really got me. I didn't put smut into it only because it feels more like a soft fluff story that doesn't really need any smut, so I hope you're okay with that :)

Warning(s): angst, social anxiety, general anxiety, slow burn, y/n use

summary: You have social anxiety and Eva has been helping you with it. After messing up a game of Twister, you feel like you can't be helped so you decide to leave. Eva stops you from leaving, which leads to a confession...

Word count: 2k

Disclaimer: I have never talked to a therapist abt my anxiety or social anxiety at all, so If some things aren't accurate I apologize, but I'm just writing down what I have experienced and how I interpret it.

Special thanks to @hereforthepoet for helping me with this fic :)

~~~~Happy Reading!~~~~

You lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, replaying the story of how you ended up here over and over again in your head.

Eva had found you when you were a blushing, stuttering mess trying to speak to the waitress in a restaurant.

Were you blushing out of embarrassment? Yeah.

Anxiety? Yeah.

Because she was hot? Absolutely.

Eva smiled at you when you looked up from your head in your hands and made eye contact with her while she was sitting at a table facing you.

You groaned and shoved your face back into your hands because yet another hot woman had seen you embarrass yourself.

When you looked back up you jumped a little, seeing as Eva was now right in front of you.

The two of you had food together, Eva noticing your stuttering, rambling and fidgeting with your rings. The tell-tale signs of your anxiety.

You told her about how you managed to push everyone in your family away after your parents died, you were an only child so there weren't many people to push away, but still.

You lived by yourself in a tiny apartment, you were thinking about getting a cat, but then, Eva invited you back here with promises to help with your anxiety.

But here you were, in the bed, Eva had lent to you.

You felt like a lost cause, all the other girls in the group had shown major signs of progress over the course of a few weeks, but you were still here, holed up in your room because you could barely even talk to the girls, despite the fact it had been almost a month already and you have had numerous sessions with Eva.

You heard a knock on the door and you mustered a small "Come in."

You looked up and saw Eva walking through the door, causing your heart to race.

Come on y/n, don't embarrass yourself in front of her for the 10,000th time, please.

"Hey y/n, why aren't you out there with the rest of the girls, we're playing twister right now."

Don't stutter.

"Oh- uh, I don't know, I'm don't-

wait. I mean I don't-

I- I'm NOT feeling that great, I guess."

Jesus Christ.

She looked at you for a moment before walking closer to your bed and sitting down on the corner of it, by your thighs.

"Remember what I told you during our last session y/n?" Eva started, as she leaned over you, bracing herself up with one hand on the other side of your thighs, and using the other to check your temperature.

Your brain short-circuited as soon as you felt her skin against yours.

"I told you, the reason you stutter is that you either rehearse what you are going to say over and over in your head before saying it, or you think so fast that the words mess up when you try to say them out loud. Either way, you need to focus on what you want to say rather than thinking of all the ways you could say what you want to say."

"Yeah, I know..." Uou muttered.

"Well how can you be working on it when you don't even hang out with the rest of the girls?" Eva smiled patiently.

"I'm working on it, I just..." You trailed off, looking anywhere but Eva's eyes.

"Hey, eyes," Eva said, causing your eyes to immediately shoot to hers.

"Good girl. Now, why don't you come out of your room and join us." Eva got up from the bed and held her hand out for you to take it.

Your stomach turned at the Praise but you ignored it.

You took Eva's hand and picked yourself out of bed.

Eva didn't let go of your hand as she led you out to the living room. You willed your hand not to get sweaty.

"Hey guys, look who's here!" Eva announced to the group.

"Woooo y/n!" Cricket cheered while holding the spinner.

"Come, join us!" Isis urged, smiling at you from under Salem's arm.

You looked at Eva uncertainty, but she just gave you a patient smile and nodded, urging you to join them.

"Uhh, yeah, sure." You nodded, looking back at the pile of girls twisted around the mat.

Your heart started to beat rapidly.

Come on y/n, you cant be the one to fuck up the whole game.

Don't lose, don't lose, don't lose....

"Okay y/n, let's spin for you."

"Right leg green!"

You moved your right leg to the open green dot.

"Eva, want to join?" Cricket asked as she spun the spinner.

"Nah, I'm good. I like to watch" Eva said with a smirk.

You shivered at her words even though it was a normal comment.

Jesus Christ y/n get a grip. She's your mentor.

But she had also been the one holding your hand through the entire process of trying to get over your anxieties.

Did you have feelings for her?

"Left foot red" Cricket called out to Grace.

"Don't fuck it up!" Audrey laughed, balancing on one hand.

"Shut up!" Grace responded playfully, before carefully placing her foot down.

"Bam!" She cheered, causing the other girls to giggle.

You smiled a little but the tension would not leave your chest as the game continued.

The girls keep playing as normal, each taking their sweet time moving to their respective places while the others urge them to hurry up. You're trying to focus, to stay present, to participate...but all you can think of is the loud beating of your heart. How the girls' laughter fades and your consciousness seems to trade places with your subconscious; "They're only letting you play out of pity." "You need to leave before you embarrass yourself." "You look ridiculous standing like this and they know it, they're all thinking it." You vaguely hear directions for someone's turn being called but there's a water-like roaring in your ears and your palms are sweaty and-and-and-

"Y/n!? Right hand yellow?"

"What?"

You can't think slow enough, you can't move fast enough, your body is shaking and- 

Everyone's falling. A twisted mess of loud laughing bodies and you can't breathe.

"Y/n? Are you okay? Breathe!" You hear Eva say.

You shoot up from the pile of girls and suddenly the laughter has died and they're all looking at you with concerned expressions.

Staring.

They think you're pathetic.

You're so embarrassing.

"I can't do this anymore!" You suddenly shout through your heavy breathing.

"Woah, it's okay y/n-" Cricket starts, putting the twister spinner down.

"No, it's not! Look at all of you! You're getting better every day. But me? I'm hopeless. I can't even play a game of twister without fucking it up! I can't stay here any longer. I've overstayed my welcome and I can't be helped. I'm too broken." You said before turning away from them.

You heard the girls start to protest and get up but out of the corner of your eye you saw Eva shush them and make them sit back down. Tears started spilling from your eyes and you ran to your room.

When you got to your room, you took your suitcase out of your closet and opened it on your bed.

You started to pack when you heard Eva's hurried footsteps approach your door.

"Y/n, what are you doing?" She said sadly.

"I'm leaving. I can't stay here anymore" you were unable to look at her so you continued quickly packing.

"Hey. Stop." Eva said as she gently stopped you from going over to your suitcase with the clothes in your hand.

You stopped and looked down at the floor, still unable to look at her.

"Look at me. I wanna see those gorgeous eyes." She gently grabbed your chin and turned your face to look at her.

"Here, give me those," she took the clothes from your hands and put them on the other bed that was next to yours.

"Sit." She guided you to sit down next to where she left your clothes.

You sat down and took a shuddering breath in as tears continued to fall and your lip quivered as you silently cried.

"You're even gorgeous when you cry." Eva smiled, causing you to let out a choked laugh as you tried to halt your tears.

"You're just saying that" You felt your face heating up.

"No, I'm not. don't degrade yourself like that. You are truly beautiful, and I'll keep saying it till it gets through your pretty little head." She got on her knees in front of you and put her hands on your thighs.

You looked down at her hands on your thighs, hyper-aware of her touch.

"Y/n please don't leave." Eva spoke up somberly.

You looked back to her eyes before responding.

"I- I can't Eva. My thoughts are so confused a-and I can't be helped. I don't deserve to stay here." You sniffed as your tears subsided.

"That's not true! Everyone is able to be helped, some people just have a longer process than others. Also, even with all the facts considered, you're here because I want you to be, not because you're a patient or something." Eva explained.

"Yeah, I guess...but I'm still...c-confused." You internally cursed yourself for stuttering and you looked down back to her hands that were still on your thighs.

"About what?" She smiled softly.

You sighed heavily trying not to stutter.

But of course, you did.

"Y-" You sighed in annoyance as Eva looked at you expectantly.

"Y- You!" You managed to get out, causing Eva to let out a laugh.

"You're confused about me?" She asked with a smirk.

"Yes! Why is that funny!?" You huffed.

She laughed a little again before responding.

"It's not, it's not, Why are you confused about me?" She asked you curiously.

"Well, I- I don't know. Just...my feelings towards you..." You said more quietly.

Eva's hands rode a little higher on your thighs causing your eyes to widen for a second before you steeled your expression.

"And what are you currently feeling towards me?" Eva asked, staring down at your lips.

"Attraction" You breathed out, getting lost in the way she looked at your lips.

"And, that's a bad thing?" She smirked, her eyes looking back up to yours.

"I- I mean no! But like, you're my mentor or whatever. I shouldn't be feeling attracted to you. Right?" You backtracked.

"Who said that?" She laughed.

Wait, that's true...

"Uhhh, no one I guess. It just- I don't know I thought it might be wrong or something. You never dated anyone else here." You gestured to the door.

"Who says I didn't?" Eva smirked once again.

"O-Oh! I'm sorry I didn't mean to assume!" Your eyes widened.

"It's okay, don't worry about it." Eva smiled.

"S-so, who was it?" You said quietly after nodding.

"Isis, it wasn't very long though. We both decided we were better as friends" Eva shrugged.

"Oh, I see." You said, mulling over all the interaction you've seen Eva had with Isis.

"But back to your feelings?" Eva urged you to continue with her brows raised and a questioning tone.

"I guess, over my time here I've been slowly falling for you and...I've tried to suppress it, but I guess, the feelings have always been there, bubbling up,"

You sighed once again before continuing.

"I mean, I don't know... You're just so...." You started, before looking at Eva and feeling your face heat up.

"Go onnnn." Eva urged.

"Hot." You ended quietly.

"What was that? I couldn't hear you!" Eva said loudly.

"Oh shut u-"

Before you could finish your reflexive response, or even have time to be anxious about it, Eva pushed up off her knees and kissed you.

You were shocked at first but you quickly closed your eyes and melted into her lips.

You couldn't lie and say you hadn't thought of kissing her multiple times.

Once Eva pulled away she sat back onto her knees.

"I can't lie, I've thought about kissing you so many times." She let out a breathy laugh.

"Woah did you just read my mind?" You pulled back shocked.

"What?" She looked confused.

"Nevermind,"

You shook your head before continuing,

"Okay, back to kissing."

"I think..." You added shyly.

[ladylooch]

hi babe!!!! could you possibly do one where the readers being really towards nico? maybe while they’re out with friends or in public or something? she’s just trying to love on him 🥹 or nicos being clingy towards her!!! 🥹💗 thank you sooo much!!! your fics are the most adorable things ever

A/N: Okay, I went back and read your request after I wrote this and was like…  TBH, I read this a little different than you wrote. Mostly just the publicness of it. But I think it’s sweet and fluffy and hits the notes you were going for. Thank you for the request!

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: smut if you squint LOL. I actually think I wrote something without swearing. WHERE IS MY GOLD STAR!?

It’s late when you return to Newark from your Devils girl’s trip out to the West Coast. You were supposed to be back, in Nico’s arms, hours ago. You can’t help but feel grumpy about that while saying goodbye to the pack of WAGs. Everyone is splitting off in different directions whether catching a ride from their significant others, heading to the bathroom, or grabbing a cab together to the same neighborhood. Nico is waiting for you. He already texted you that he was by the Dunkin’ just outside of baggage claim.

When you come down the escalator, you grin at him slumped forward on a bench, arms resting on his large thighs, hat hanging low. The airport is pretty much closed for the night so he stands out. Honestly, he’s so gorgeous he would even if it was bustling. His AirPods are in and you can see his mouth moving. A quick check of your Apple Watch makes you gather he’s likely talking to his parents. No one else is awake right now if they don’t have to be.

“Ich muss gehen. Dich lieben.” He says, standing as you approach. His lips pull into an excited grin. “Baby!” He greets, leaning down to press a long, welcoming kiss against your mouth. His hands wind around your waist, lifting you off your feet and into his chest. “Mmm, I missed you.”

“Hi Neeks.” You muse, placing loving kisses on his lips, soaking up his warmth. His brown eyes glitter, only caring to focus on your face.

“You look good. Relaxed.” He notes, setting you back down.

“I feel relaxed.. minus all the travel trouble.” It all seems like minor inconveniences now that you can feel Nico’s hand slipping into yours. He takes the handle on your rolling suitcase so your only job is to walk next to him to the car.

“Yeah that sucked. I was getting frustrated for you.” He shakes his head. “I mean six extra hours at the airport? Woof.” 

“Yeah I had a nice buzz going by the time we got on the plane. I even slept for a couple hours.”

“Wow! Practicing for Switzerland this off season, yeah?” You laugh, nodding. You are so looking forward to that with him.

Nico places your suitcase in his car and soon you are on your way back to your apartment. Nico’s fingers slide into yours, bringing your hand to his mouth. 

“I missed you so much, babe.” He whispers against your skin.

“Missed you too.” You murmur back to him, turning to watch him while he drives. His face has a bit of stubble and his hair is hidden by a black baseball cap. He chews on his bottom lip, watching the traffic in front of you. He sneaks a few peeks of you every so often, grinning each time your eyes meet.

“Tell me everything. What is the hot goss? Is there pipping hot tea?” You know he is making fun of you. But you missed him so much, you’ll let it slide.

The rest of the ride home is spent chatting about the trip and the various activities and events we participated in. Most of them included indulgence on food and wine. The Airbnb was incredible with so many rooms and spaces to hang out. Plus, a really beautiful, secluded pool and hot tub area. 

“So basically, you missed me when you were sleeping?” He jokes, placing a hand on your lower back as he unlocks the door to your apartment.

“Yes, and when I was super, wine drunk.” 

His laugh electrifies your body.

“Yeah I remember that FaceTime call.” He wiggles his eyebrows at you. You cringe, red filling your cheeks at the awful strip tease you gave him.

“I’m hungry. Do we have any food here?” You ask as he wheels your suitcase down to your room.

“Uh… No.” His airy laughter flows down the hall. Nico is not the grocery shopper in this relationship. 

“Okay.” You take a peek in the fridge and then the pantry, finding enough ingredients to make Kraft Mac and Cheese. You put water in the pot, letting it come to a boil.

“You gonna share that with me?” He asks, gliding his hands around your body to rest against your stomach. His back warms you through your shirt as he kisses all along your covered shoulders. His hands begin to travel. First to your hips, then down your thighs and back up. His touch has electricity buzzing in your body. 

“Babe, I need a little space.” You mutter after testing a noodle and finding it ready.

“No.” He sighs into your back, nuzzling his nose there.

“You’re going to get a monster if you don’t let me eat.” You warn lightly. Nico knows you’re a completely different person when you’re hungry and steps aside so you can separate the noodles and boiling water. His hands are back on you when you return to the stove top. Nico helps by putting in the butter while you measure the milk out. He cringes as you shake the cheese pack in. 

“It’s a disgrace to call that cheese.” 

“Probably, but it gets the job done.” You stir it all together, mouth watering at the sight and smell of the cheesy, nostalgic goodness. You dish yourself up a bowl and Nico who says he wants to at least try it before calling it trash to your face.

“Okay, this kinda slaps tho?” He says it questioningly, thick eyebrows drawing together in confusion, slowly chewing his first bite.

“It’s the best. I don’t know how it works, but it hits different as an adult.” Nico devours his bowl, then slides you across the couch to finish your bowl resting against his chest. He flicks the TV on, putting on The Kardashians. You look over your shoulder at him. 

“Wow….” You trail off, pausing to take another bite of mac and cheese. You run your tongue along the front of your teeth. “It’s almost like you want something from me tonight.” 

“Dying for it. Literally.”

“I’d say your chances are about 90%.” 

“Okay… I like those odds. But, how do I get to 100%?”

“Hm.” You contemplate, pushing some more noodles around your bowl. “I think I need a massage.” Nico sits up, eager to please. His hands come to your shoulders, immediately rubbing the tense muscles. “And maybe let your hands wander a bit.”  You shrug as you delicately chew another bite of food. “And I think I need ice cream after this.”

“So many things.” Nico groans. “You know I can bring my chances to 100% by myself, right?”

“How so?” You ask, scooping up another bite. It pauses right before your mouth when he pulls you back flush with his body and begins to bite gently all along your collar bone. You look down at the remaining golden noodles and say goodbye.

Suddenly, you have better things to put in your mouth.

[starsandgutters]

WIP GAME BOO & BOWSER!! 👀

HEHEHE !!

This is also just an outline, but it’s an idea I have had in my head for YEARS, from around the same period as the initial conception of Kinda Love, so I am very soft and fond of this verse even if I’ve never written a word from it.

Kevin and Aaron become close in college after Neil and Andrew get together cause they’re on the sidelines more often. And after Riko especially they get really close, and they think they’re just dudes being bros, but they do have such exchanges as Aaron teasingly referring to Kevin as Paracelsus.

“Why?”

“Because he also always wanted to be right. He actually burned medical textbooks because he was so strongly of the belief his ways were correct and tradition was wrong. And this is 15th and 16th century, books were not easy to come by.”

“Wow. Thanks. I won’t insist I’m right if I’m wrong-”

“That’s not- I just mean he had that much belief in himself. He didn’t want incorrect medical practice happening. He also taught in German instead of Latin. Cause he believed everyone should have access to knowledge, not just the upper classes.”

“…oh.”

“He just reminds me of you.”

And Kevin is all flustered because not only is Aaron being NICE to him but he’s being nice USING HISTORY which is a super effective seduction method for Kevin, and every time Aaron calls him Paracelsus after he remembers that and feels all warm and … wow they must be such good friends right 😃

But then Kevin leaves and being Kevin gets hyper focused in on his new team and training and it’s usually Aaron messaging him, but the replies get sparser and more infrequent, and after a few months Aaron starts to think Kevin only was friendly with him because of close contact / has moved on and now that Aaron isn’t going to be continuing exy he isn’t important to him anymore.

Like Kevin’s just a single minded dumbass but Aaron has attachment issues due to parental abuse so. Y’know. It hurts and it sucks but he has Katelyn and he’s got med school to be working towards and so he tries not to think about Kevin.

(Hard to avoid thoughts of your ex best friend when he’s constantly on TV and you’re still on his dad’s team but whatever)

When Kevin comes back to see Wymack for holidays he acts the same as they always did, but Aaron’s more distant towards him, so then HE thinks Similar Things™️ to Aaron because they’re BOTH emotionally stilted idiots. So the distance between them just grows.

Kevin is separated from Thea at this point because Kevin Day deserves to love himself thanks 😤

They cross paths sometimes over the years (usually from things involving Andrew) but it’s more like cold acquaintances than the way they used to be.

Aaron and Katelyn break up in his last year of med school. Just growing apart, changing as people, but Aaron definitely feels his depression had a big impact in it and it sends him into a bit of a spiral and he has to take some time off from school - which he hates- He shifts to part time studying and splitting his time between that and working at a doctors office but now he’s suddenly faced with the fact that he’s got a void in his life cause, hey! Most of his med school friends were mutual friends with Katelyn and all their hanging out was as a couple and sure he’s got some acquaintances and work acquaintances but like… trust issues mean he doesn’t wanna spend time with people he’s not super close to. Andrew’s busy playing pro, Nicky’s in Germany, so Aaron adopts a dog.

HE’S A ROTTWEILER AND HE CALLS HIM BOWSER AND GETS HIM A SPIKED COLLAR 😌😌😌

(The timeline of this kind of messy but I’ll work it out better if I ever write it hahaha)

Kevin is also a Lonely Boi but he throws himself into playing to distract himself. Except his hand gets worse every winter and no matter how many tapes or supports or massages or pain meds he tries, it’s getting harder to keep up the level of use he has with it.

And then he gets the news he has post traumatic arthritis and he’ll only have so many years left to play before it gets worse. And sure, yeah, he taught himself to play right handed, and that was FINE for the Foxes, but it’s not up to standard with the pros.

Cue mental breakdown.

Cue importing a super expensive pure breed dog as a distraction (she’s a Shiba Inu called Boudicca).

(I considered a Japanese name because it’s JUST LIKE KEVIN to name her ✨authentically✨ and teach her all her commands in Japanese, but also, I think it’s just so tied to Riko and painful memories for him that in the end he wouldn’t, but felt he would find it funny to call her after a queen, and a Celtic warrior queen felt appropriate 😌)

Oh he also drunk called Aaron at some stage despite not having had a full conversation with him in years and Aaron is just like “wat” like why would you not talk to Andrew or Neil about this???

But he can’t.

Because they still get to play.

Andrew doesn’t even care about this stupid sport that is Kevin’s whole world and he STILL gets to PLAY and how can Kevin look him in the face and say he’s on limited time and Andrew’s career will outlast him?

And Aaron’s kind of annoyed. But it’s also nice in a sad way that someone seems to be doing worse than him (can you say schadenfreude?) And also he discovers his soft spot for Kevin never left and fuck that.

So they stay in contact a little more frequently. Kevin sends pupdates. Aaron sends advice because as smart as Kevin is he’s also a soft touch and keeps spoiling her before he’s even got her trained and also “you picked one of the most stubborn temperamental dog breeds as your first- No, why am I surprised? You fit perfectly”

More messy time line stuff I haven’t thought about and Kevin having to leave her for the first time to tour and he’s like “S O S I THOUGHT I COULD LEAVE HER AT A KENNEL BUT I DONT TRUST THEM WITH MY BABY WILL YOU PLEASE BABYSIT HER”

“You know im busy I have work and school.”

“She’ll keep Bowser company.”

“Bowser is a grown dog because I didn’t contribute to breeding for profit while good dogs get put down in shelters because they have no homes.”

(5 photos attached of Boudicca)

“Fuck sake fine”

And Kevin’s like she’s kind of moody and it might take her a while to warm up to you and-

Dog whisperer Aaron Minyard crouches down and she immediately is getting belly rubs and giving him kisses. (Aaron Minyard who is good with animals & who animals always take to because they can sense the soft core of him that people don’t see past his spiky exterior you will ALWAYS be real to ME)

Kevin: 👁👄👁

Boo is Aaron’s nickname for Boudicca. Which he calls her all the time even though Kevin protests greatly, because she HAS a name and it is a GREAT name it is a POWERFUL and HISTORICAL name and-

And Aaron’s like hehe let me edit them so it looks like they’re sitting in little Mario Kart racing karts - Bowser and Boo 🤭💖

Kevin has never been a better communicator. Messages Aaron every free minute like hello is my baby the light of my life ok???

Gets flustered when Aaron replies “im fine thanks how are you” wHAT IS THAT ABOUT??? WHAT IS THIS FEELING SO SUDDEN AND NEW—

Aaron and Katelyn have also moved past their break up heartache at this stage and reconnected as friends, so some of the updates Aaron sends Kevin of the dogs out on walks, or him doing stuff with them, Katelyn is in the background of. And Kevin does not like this. It makes him feel all complicated and prickly and uncomfortable. Like, why is she near HIS dog and why is that FUZZY LITTLE TRAITOR sitting on her lap and WHY is she pressed against HIS AARON’S side and- wait, no, not his Aaron, hahaha what a silly thought-

Ends up impulse buying a house in Aaron’s city (idk if Aaron canonically went to Chicago or if that’s just fanon but I’ve absorbed it into my consciousness as a fact) so it’s easier for dog sitting and Aaron doesn’t need to stay crammed in a cheap apartment and Kevin can just travel between that and wherever his team is based. (Aaron is furious because he is not a kept man. He refused Andrew’s help and how dare Kevin think he can just buy a house and-

He does move in anyway though cause his window has had a draft for months that makes chilly Chicago winters a NIGHTMARE and the sink in the bathroom drips constantly and it would be nice to have a garden for Bowser-)

So then- OMG THEY WERE ROOMMATES!

Anyway dog dads falling in love

Kevin manages to make it to the Olympics before he retires and has, essentially, a huge nervous breakdown despite the fact he had years to mentally prepare himself. Aaron helping piece him back together and finding new ways for him to focus his love of the game while also being a kickass doctor because Aaron Minyard? Multitasker pro

Grumpy boys out walking their dogs together in big coats and scarves 😌💖 their little family already pre-made by the time they get their dumbass acts together and realise they want to smooch 😤 Kevin being at home more so that Aaron can put more hours into HIS career now without worrying about the dogs, and Kevin having time to explore and learn about himself and his interests outside of exy. Aaron making sure he takes it easy and helping him with exercises for his arthritis and ways to tend to his chronic pain 🥹 and they just get to be domestic and stupidly in love and happy with their pups!!

(Bonus concept: Bed Spreader Extraordinaire Kevin Day who usually takes up the ENTIRE bed with his STUPID LONG LIMBS is actually the one that sometimes can’t get into bed in this verse, because Aaron sleeps curled up into a little ball, but the dogs sprawl out on either side of him as his protectors. Kevin standing shivering in his briefs like 🥺 Boudicca please move and let me into the bed 🥺 but this is what you get for impulse buying one of the sassiest and most stubborn dog breeds, Kevin-)

[changingplumbob]

Woods Household: Chapter 1, Part 3

In this part Reece finally becomes a YA (it would have happened sooner but clearly wheelofnames.com wanted to torture me) the house gets power, and Fosters descend for a belated birthday celebration.

Part 3 is mainly my sims being in love so if you're only here to find out who killed Samir's parents feel free to skip this spicier part.

Low level content warning: Some sim spice and mentions of death

Samir: Happy Birthday blondie. I love you

Reece: *smiles* I love you to. Is it morning already?

Samir: And here was me thinking you were desperate to get started. You were *kisses* practically *kisses* begging *kisses* yesterday

Reece: I am *sighs* and can beg more *giggles* if you tell me to. But I also *kisses* really love cuddling with you

Samir: We can cuddle later. For now *kisses* get your butt *kisses* in the shower

Reece: The shower boss?

Samir: *sternly* Don't ask questions, just do it. Clearly in our down time you've forgotten your manners, that'll have consequences *switches to whisper* bad boys get punished

…

Reece: *panting* Wow, that... was definitely.... worth... waiting for

Samir: What do you say needy boy

Reece: Thank you boss *kisses* may I have some more

Samir: *chuckles* hmmm, not just now, you also said you wanted more cuddle time

Samir: You sure you want to be the big spoon

Reece: Just because you’re bigger than me doesn’t mean I don’t like getting my arms around you boss. Plus, I really love kissing your neck

Samir: *chuckles* Oh I'm aware. It’s your birthday I suppose, better let you have some say

Reece: So I'm a good boy again

Samir: Hell yeah you are

The couple are quiet for a few minutes as they come down from the woohoo high. Samir almost falls back to sleep but something's bothering Reece.

Reece: Samir... my lover...

Samir: *groggily* yep, I'm awake

Reece: About... about what happened to you…

Samir: *sleepily* hmm

Reece: Do you want me to not make such a fuss of your scars when we’re woohooing? I always thought they were hot but I don’t want to upset you if they bring up bad memories

Samir: *sighs* blondie, you know I tell you if I don’t like something you’re doing. I tell you quite sternly do I not?

Reece: Yes you do. But... maybe you’re trying not to make me feel bad when-

Samir: I do actually enjoy making you feel bad from time to time, you're more eager to please then

Reece: Lover be serious. I want to know I'm not upsetting you

Samir: *sighs* Are you listening properly blondie

Reece: I can stop talking if that’s what you mean

Samir: Never stop talking, but for now, cuddle and listen *kisses* My scars, they used to be a reminder that I had nearly died, that Grim could have appeared and taken me with him, right after my parents. But now, they remind me that I survived. Whatever tried to kill me failed *kisses* I love that you think they’re hot, it makes me feel even better about them *kisses* that I'm strong enough to look after you

Reece: How did I get lucky enough to score a man who’s just as strong on the inside as he appears on the outside

Samir: If I remember right you proposed we skip prom together, and kept going on about your feelings until I caved

The couple reflect for a while, recalling their past.  Of course all the reminiscing of their romance together means they have to take another pit stop in the shower before we can get to cake…

Reece: Where did you get a confetti cannon

Samir: From my pants, where else

Reece: And where did you get a cake, we don’t even have an oven

Samir: Welcome to the future blondie, you can get most things on the internet. Now be a good boy and make a wish

Reece thinks, blows out the candles, and is officially a young adult.

Samir: How do you feel

Reece: Geekier… I’m just going to go get changed

Samir: *kisses* Don’t cut your hair too short, I like being able to grab on to it

Reece blushes and heads for the bathroom.

Reece: There, will I do?

Samir runs his hands through Reece's new haircut, shorter but still fine for gripping. His hands move over Reece's torso, dancing softly across the ticklish parts, getting joy from hearing Reece try to contain his giggles. After running his fingers around the edge of the new pyjama pants he backs up and sweeps Reece's hand into a kiss.

Samir: You’ll do… very well. Come on gorgeous, the sun is up and we should enjoy it

By enjoy it Samir of course means head out to enjoy the near dead daylife of Moonwood Mill. That’s why he likes it here, there never seems to be any crowds. The two find a picnic table near the bar to enjoy the chocolate cake.

Samir: Your arms look so good in that shirt *smirks* Really makes me want to rip it off

Reece: *chuckles* I know, why do you think I picked it. Now tell me, what’s next for our secret mission

Samir: *sighs* It’s your birthday, we should be focusing on happy things. Like seeing if we can set a new woohoos in a day record

Reece: First off, yes. Secondly, solving puzzles makes me happy. Please tell me *pouts*

Samir: Alright, you win. I did notice this weird door that seemed to lead underground on my run yesterday. I figured I might take a look, perhaps there’s some signs of “bears” down there

Reece: My lover is so brave *blows kiss*

Reece: but, flirting aside, be careful Samir

Samir: Aww, you worried about me gorgeous

Reece: With you trying to find what killed your parents? Nope. Not worried at all that it'll get you killed. That I'll be left with even less answers than we have now. That I'll be... alone

Samir: Hey, hey. Come here

Samir pulls Reece in for a passionate embrace that takes his breath away. Like normal Reece is sure he's going to run out of air before Samir lets him go.

Samir: I promised I would keep you safe. I also promise, no matter what happens, I’m always going to come back to you alive. Remember that

Reece’s reply is swiftly silenced by Samir’s kisses returning furiously.

Samir: Now, do you want your birthday present

Reece: I thought you already gave me my present, twice

Samir: *chuckles* So you don’t want what’s in this box

Reece: I mean, I’m not going to turn down a gift. Wait, is this… really?

Samir: I know you’ve been wanting to try some for ages but I had to do some research first, ways to use them without you breaking a wrist. Plus I couldn’t very well be locking you in handcuffs that are going to break mid woohoo now could I

Reece: *blushes* Thank you. For getting them, and… getting me

Samir: You're welcome. Somehow... you understand me. Apart from that time you thought I was closeted

Reece: Yeah... I did kind of read that wrong. But I think I've got better at figuring you out

Samir: I'd say so. I’m always going to try and understand you, I promise

Back at home...

Samir: Gorgeous, I’m only going to the tunnels, I’m not leaving for say Peru or anything *kisses* We can play when I get back

Reece: I know lover. I just want you to know I’ll miss you while you’re gone, and I love you, and I love your neck, and I love your-

Samir: Remember blondie, the people should be coming with the wind turbines for installation

Reece: Stay here with me *nuzzles neck* I can show you electricity *kisses neck* and we can give them a show

Samir: OMW, I’m leaving *whispers* don't even think of getting off without me though

So Samir heads out to explore the tunnels for the first time while Reece tends to the garden. If his family are coming over tomorrow he wants to show his dad he didn’t forget everything he was taught about plants.

Reece makes sure to plant his chrysanthemum and Samir’s rose in the same planter box. It makes him happy to think the flowers can grow side by side, just like him and his boyfriend. Maybe if he gets good enough at gardening he can make a bush where they intertwine.

Samir’s first trip in the tunnels ends with a small scrape, but, determined to find some kind of lead, he brushes it off, and heads back in. Sure enough the wind turbines turn up right on schedule, the house will now have power! No more relying on lanterns.

*wolf whistles*

Reece: That better be you

Samir: Or what

Reece: Or I’ll have to tell the prowler I have possessive lover who will kick his ass for checking me out. Wait, are you possessive?

Samir: I mean… I don’t like to think of you with other guys but I’m pretty sure that’s just not wanting to be in an open relationship. Why? You want me to be possessive

Reece: Hmm, sometimes…

Samir: *nods* I shall try to be more of a possessive jerk in future then

Reece: Find anything in the tunnels

Samir: Nope. Now give me a hug so the neighbourhood knows you’re mine

Reece: *laughs* smooth, that’s not quite what I meant

Samir: I know what you- ahh

Reece: Crap! Are you okay

Samir: Yeah, yeah I’m fine

Reece: So that was just a not in pain screech then was it

Samir: I may have… fallen down a hole in the tunnels

Reece: You did what?

Samir: I’m fine, didn’t even break a bone

Reece: We’re having dinner, then a bath to get the cobwebs off you, then bed. I'm not having spiders invade our bed

Samir: *smirks* I thought I was the boss

Reece: Then you shouldn’t have fallen down a hole

Samir: I like falling in your holes... often, hard

Reece: *blushes* Oh watcher that was a terrible line. You might have a concussion, we should-

Samir: I’m fine gorgeous, and I’m cooking

Reece: Samir-

Samir: It’s your birthday. I’m not letting you cook on your birthday

Reece: This tastes good

Samir: Told you I should cook

Reece: Can you even taste it when you eat that fast

Samir: *through mouthfuls* absolutely

Reece: It’s got to be pretty healthy right? Char grilled food without oil? Maybe it’ll let me get muscles as big as yours

Samir: *smirks* Keep on dreaming blondie

Samir: You’re not going to make me have a bath alone are you

Reece: And you call me needy

Samir: You are. I’m purely thinking about how a man with a possible concussion shouldn’t be left alone around water

Reece looks skeptically at Samir who manages to keep his composure for a few seconds before breaking in to a smile, making Reece laugh. Sure enough both of them end up in the tub, and Reece helps Samir clean up before he wants to have cuddles again.

Samir: Did you have a good birthday then blondie

Reece: *smiling* Yeah I did, thanks to you. Do you think we could... take the handcuffs for a test run

Samir: *smirks* who’s the needy one now

Reece: *laughs* Definitely me boss *kisses* I always need your touch

Samir: You know the rules. Ask me nicely

Another sunny day dawns in Moonwood Mill and Reece and Samir kick things off with some woohoo and breakfast.

Samir: Any plans today before your family descend

Reece: You invited them so they’ll only be descending because of you

Samir: One day I’m sure I shall love them all… individually… alone

The couple head out for a morning run, oh how I wish there was a "go for a run together" option. Today Samir comes across an abandoned house on the outskirts of the woods. The place is filthy but he tries to take note of its location in case Reece feels like collecting frogs now that he’s a geek. It's here he realises he's an active kind of sim.

Eventually the Fosters (plus their plus ones) rocked up to pay Reece a belated happy birthday. He and Carson still don’t get on. Yes I reused the pose of Samir and Reece for an individual picture for their wall because they just look sweet.

Harvey: I know it’s Reece’s birthday but Kayleigh and I wanted to give you a little something

Samir: Oh… thanks!

...

Kayleigh: Happy birthday darling! Oh look at you, all grown up

Reece: Can I open my gift now

Kayleigh: Of course

Reece: A guitar?

Kayleigh: I know you have the music and dance hobby, we should have got you one sooner but-

Reece: I love it mum

Reece: So here I planted the fruit you gave me, and some stuff from the romance festival

Charlie: I’m just glad you remembered to plant the dragon fruit instead of eat it

Harvey: Let me know if you want any clippings from our garden, I’ve plenty to spare

Charlie: You checked out universities yet

Reece: That’s an in-progress thing. I mean, what would be the point in starting a degree before I know what I want to do

Harvey: If you want to be a forest hippie, you be a forest hippie

Reece: It’s kind of weird that you let us do whatever we want dad

Harvey: Is it? I thought I was being a cool dad

Charlie: Most parents have like, rules and stuff

Reece: *deviously* You know it’s not too late to implement rules for Carson

Reece: You should like… take away his cellphone, and ground him

Charlie: Aren’t you meant to be a mature young adult now?

Reece: Show me where it says mature sis

...

Keira: What are you working on

Samir: Umm... Horse

Kaori: With a knife? Is that safe?

...

Harvey: You sure you’re all right here

Reece: Yes dad, I’m good. Better than good-

Samir: Blondie... tunnels. Back later

Harvey watches his son say goodbye. It’s clear to him that Reece and Samir love each other, he just hopes Samir deserves his son. But how is he meant to learn who Samir is when he barely speaks?

Previous Part ... Next Part

[bookloover35]

Legolas Greenleaf X Fem reader- Skinchanger.

Legolas Pov:

War, with a very unhappy ending.

That's the only thing that will happen if we don't get more help.

But who?

Gandalf: I know one person who can help us win this war once and for all.

King Theoden: Who.

Gandalf began to tell us that seven years ago he met a young girl and a skinchanger and that they are still best friends to this day and apparently she saved his life and a very famous dwarf king Thorin Okenshield and his company.

He also told us that she managed to wrestle away 10 goblins who tried to chain her.

Legolas: I remember her.

King Theoden: But I thought all skinchangers were dead.

Gandalf: Not all there are some left out there but very few and she is one of them.

Aragon: Is she strong?

Gandalf: In her wolf form she is stronger than an entire army and in her normal human form she is stronger than a thousand men.

Also more he talked about her also more I remembered her, I never got the chance to talk to her but I definitely remember her strength.

I remember when she fought the white orc by herself.

Gandalf: And believe me when I say this she is also very good at hand on hand comebat, it also includes swords, archery and throwing knives.

Gimli: Gandalf, can you get her here?

Gandalf: of course i can.

TS.

Yns pov:

Run faster I have to save Gandalf that was all I could think of while in my wolf form, how lucky I am so much faster like this.

I'm not going to lose my oldest friend and someone who is a very dear family member.

I have known Gandalf ever since I was little he knew both my parents my mother was a very beautiful wood elf and my father was a Skinchanger.

Legolas Pov:

Yn: Gandalf in your message you said it was easy to find here luck that when I'm a Wolf my sense of smell becomes a thousand times stronger than normal.

We all turned towards the young woman's voice and as soon as I saw her all the memories came back her long red hair and her eyes which were two different colors.

(If the hair doesn't match you, you can think that she has the same hair color and length as you).

Her left eye was Silver and her right eye was purple wow she is beautiful.

The wizard and the wolf girl hugged each other and then Gandalf said.

Gandalf: Yn, thank you for being able to come and help us, I had actually planned to come and see you but this happened instead.

Yn: You are family, of course I would come and help.

They both then turned around and we all got a good look at her and she was dressed like she was ready to go into battle, she had black and blue armor.

Gandalf: King Theoden, let me introduce my dearest friend Yn Stormheart.

And Yn this is King Theoden, and the others are Aragon, Gimli and Legolas.

She waved slightly at us and said hello.

Then the questions started to be asked and then I mean there were a lot of questions and then we asked if she could show what she looks like as a Wolf.

She smiled at us and asked us to back off and before you could even blink she had transformed from being a young woman to a wolf the size of a full grown horse.

I have to admit that I am very impressed but one thing is for sure that I did not want to make her angry in this form, she looked at me and I could hear her voice in my head.

Yn: Are you impressed?

Legolas: Very, and I have a very good feeling that we will win this with your help.

The end.

[crazyunsexycool]

The love we gave away.

Chapter 3

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Reader

Word count: 4.9k

Warnings: angst, mentions of character death, bit of soft Ransom, talks of teenage pregnancy

A/N: we find out the truth that the twins have been hiding! I know this has been kind of a slow start but I’m changing it up a bit next chapter and I’m excited for it! I also love writing a soft-ish version of Ransom first because I want to show that he is capable of it but there still is that asshole version that we might see soon!

Series Masterlist

“Who are you texting?” Teddy had poked his head into Abigail’s room to ask her something. Lately every time he looked over she was on her phone.

“Y/N.”

“Again? Don’t you get tired of talking to either of them?” Teddy asked as he walked in and sat down on Abby’s bed.

Abigail rolled her eyes as she finished typing out her message.

“No, because I want to get to know them. Y/N is really nice, you should give her a chance.”

“I already have a mom, thank you very much.”

“You’re so dramatic and for what?” Abby sat up to look at her brother. “Seriously, why are you so angry at them? Why are you angry all the time?”

“You know what? It doesn’t matter. Just don’t come crying to me when they want nothing to do with you. Again. Because that’s what’s going to happen, they’re going to realize they don’t want us around and tell us to leave them alone.”

Teddy got up and walked out, slamming the door in the process. Abby was left dumbfounded.

Their mom, Annie, knocked on her door and opened it only when she heard Abby’s faint ‘come in’.

“What was that about?” Annie sat down next to her daughter, who immediately laid her head on her mother’s lap.

“I don’t know. He’s being an ass.”

“Oh come on now honey, cut your brother some slack. These last few months have been hard for all of us.”

“I know but we just-“ Abby cut herself off before she mentioned you and Ransom. She was going to tell her mom but she wanted to find the right way to say it. Maybe even figure out if both her biological parents were going to stick around.

“Just what?”

“Just moved here. We only have each other and I want to be there for him but he just hates everyone and everything.”

“We’ll figure it out honey.” Annie kisses Abby’s forehead. “We always do.”

You had just gotten off the phone with another stylist to who knows which celebrity about a custom outfit for some red carpet event when Wanda sat down across from you. Before she would even say a word your cell phone dinged and you smiled as you replied.

“Ok, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Wanda asks. Her eyes narrowed in your direction.

“What do you mean?”

“Are you dating someone? From the way you smile at your phone I would think that someone has finally gotten your attention. Maybe that Drysdale guy?”

“No.”

“Then what is it?” She asked again. If there was one thing that Wanda was, it was persistent.

“Fine, I’ll tell you. But you have to promise me this will not leave the office. It’s a very serious matter.”

“Nothing leaves this office. I promise.”

“No one in my life now knows about this. But Ransom and I have known each other since high school. We actually dated from when we were 15 until we graduated.”

“Is that the big secret, you dated a guy? Thought it’d be more interesting like you got pregnant or something.”

You only stare at her and wait for the light bulb to go off.

“Oh my god. You got pregnant when you were a teenager.” She whisper yelled.

“Yup.” You nod before you go into the details of the pregnancy and the subsequent issues. Wanda was glued to her seat, eyes wide and mouth slightly parted from all the gasping and comments she made and questions she asked.

“Wow, Y/N I’m so sorry you went through that. So what does that have to do with the texts and you being so happy?”

“You remember the kids that showed up about two weeks ago?”

“Yeah.” She gasped again as she covered her mouth with her hand. “They're your twins?”

“Yeah. Their mom gave them the letters I had written to them. Then they found a partial address and they found their way here.”

“This is crazy. So what now?”

“I don’t know.” You shrug. “We got together for lunch a week ago. Ransom came all the way from Boston to meet them. Abigail is more open to having a relationship with us. Theodore though, he seems so angry. I don’t know why but I can understand it must be hard for him to come to terms with everything. I’d like to officially meet their parents though and make sure they’re ok if we stay in contact. To have them in my life in any way would just be… wonderful.”

“I’m sure everything will be alright. And if you need anything I’m here for you.”

“Thank you Wanda.” You smile at her.

“Now I’m sorry to burst the bubble but we need you on the main floor.”

“I’ll be right out.” You say as your phone dings again.

Wanda smiles as she watches you type away happily on your phone. You’ve known each other for seven years now with her being your assistant for six of them. Never in her life had she guessed that you had to go through something like that. But you weren’t one to really talk about your past. This new revelation however made her understand why you tended to push people away, even when you were struggling with loneliness. Wanda steps out of your office giving you a few more minutes of privacy as she steps back into the main floor.

“This is a nice surprise. What’s the reason for the visit, Ransom?” Harlan asked as he looked up at his grandson.

Ransom plopped down on a chair across from his grandfather. A drink in his hand from the small bar cart that was in the corner of the office.

“Has your uncle been giving you trouble at the office again?”

Ransom scoffs. “That asshole knows better than to try shit at the office.”

Harlan gives Ransom a disapproving look as he sets down his pen. He sat back, his elbows sitting on the armrests and his fingers interlaced in front of him. Ransom normally came to visit on Sundays so Harlan was curious as to why his grandson was there on Thursday.

“So what’s going on?”

“I wanted to visit you today since I won’t be here Sunday.” Ransom shrugged.

“Oh? Where are you going to be?”

“New York.” Ransom sits up now, this situation with you and the twins had been weighing on him since the first meeting. He couldn’t go to his so-called friends because they weren’t those kinds of friends you could talk to.

“This is the second time you’re going to New York in a month and you don’t even like New York. You’re not going to go partying, are you Ransom?”

“No, I’m actually going to meet someone.”

“A potential new author?” Harlan’s interest piqued. While he was an author at heart and had many best sellers under his belt, he also had the publishing company. He loved finding authors that had as much passion as him and helped them get their stories out there.

“No, I’m meeting Y/N.”

Harlan wasn’t able to hide the surprise on his face. It had been years since he’d heard Ransom speak about you. Only when he got really drunk and the rest of the family wasn’t around would he allow himself to speak of you.

“It’s been years hasn’t it? How did this come about?” Harlan was eager to know more about this meeting. The older man had always been fond of you. He could see the apprehension on Ransom’s face. His mind was busy as he tried to find the right words.

“The twins…”

Harlan was at the edge of his seat now more than ever. You and the twins had brought something out in Ransom he had never seen before. It showed him that the Ransom that knew love when he was a child was still there. That Ransom could be a better man than his father and even himself. But that story had yet to have an ending and Harlan could only hope Ransom would write himself a happy one.

“They found Y/N. She met them and she contacted me.”

“And you’re going to meet them?”

“I already did. About a week ago but I am going back to see them again.”

“You met them already? The first time you went to New York.” Harlan was practically speechless. He thought of those kids, his great grandchildren daily.

“Yeah,” Ransom said with a small smile, one his grandfather hadn’t in a long time. “You’d like them, they seem like great kids. Abigail, she loves your books. I may have promised her a signed copy of your next one.” Ransom sat up more, started speaking more animatedly. “Theodore though, he seems angry. Like he doesn’t want anything to do with us. I can’t blame the kid, I don’t think it'd be easy to find out you're adopted. But they seem to have a really good relationship.”

“And you plan on being in their lives?”

“I don’t know.” Ransom admitted after a while. He didn’t dare look at his grandfather, he’d been at the receiving end of disappointing looks most of his life he didn’t need to see another one.

“I think you want to. You wouldn���t have come here and told me about them if you didn’t.”

“I wouldn’t be a good influence on them.”

“Maybe they’d be a good influence on you. Did you ever think of that? Hopefully they take after their mother in that sense.”

Ransom just narrowed his eyes at Harlan.

“Don’t look at me like that. When you and Y/N were together you were happier. She showed you that you were worth loving and it made you better. What you went through, having to give up your kids, changed you. You were so angry at the world then, still are some times. But you have a chance to answer your own question.”

“What question is that?”

“If you’d be a better father than Richard. Maybe even a better husband, if things worked out with Y/N. Maybe if you gave each other a second chance.” Harlan said hopefully.

Ransom just shook his head and scoffed. You’d never give him a chance, not after the way things ended. Harlan waved his hand dismissively.

“That doesn’t matter now. Meet with them again. Give yourself a chance to realize that you are doing the right thing by getting to know them.” Harlan smiles at his grandson. “If all goes well I’d like to meet them. And I’d like to see Y/N again too.”

“Yeah, I’ll let her know.”

“Now go. I have a book to finish if I want to give my great granddaughter a signed copy.”

Ransom smiled at that. He could already see Abigail’s excited face as she saw his signature on the first page. He gave Harlan a quick goodbye and went home to pack for his long weekend.

The cab you’d taken to meet Ransom, Abigail and Theodore stopped in front of the restaurant everyone had decided on. It was Ransom’s suggestion and although you thought it was too high end for your taste Theodore actually seemed excited about it.

You pay your fare and head in and to the back of the room where the three of them were waiting for you. Abigail was right in the middle of a story about learning how to ice skate when you walked in. It was a balm into the still open wound in your soul. To watch Ransom interact with them, he was listening and putting all of his attention on her. The question popped into your head again. Would this be your life if you hadn’t given them up for adoption?

“Hey guys, sorry to keep you waiting.”

“Hey.” Abigail got up and hugged you, Theodore just gave you a small nod.

You sat down next to Ransom and bumped your shoulders with his.

“It’s about time. Were you caught up with your sewing?”

“Shut up.” You rolled your eyes and turned your attention to the twins. “So how have you been?”

“We’re good.” Theodore answered.

“Have you done anything around the city?”

“Not really, mom has been working extra hours.” Abigail gives you a sad smile.

There’s something about that statement that makes you want to know more about their parents but Theodore catches you off guard by telling you about some new video game he just got. You ask a few questions and you see him come alive with excitement, especially when he’s describing the graphics and the real life locations that inspired the video game.

****

You’ve just finished your appetizers and are talking about how busy you’ll be with work when Abigail and Theodore go quiet. You and Ransom had your backs turned slightly toward the main room so you couldn’t see what they were looking at. Before you can even turn around Abigail speaks up.

“Mom, what are you doing here?” She asks, looking extremely guilty.

You look at Ransom before turning around and looking at another woman approaching the table. She’s obviously a few years older than you. Her hair is black and in a bob, there are a few grays starting to appear. Her eyes are green and bright, a knowing smile on her lips. A rosy tint on her cheeks but underneath that you could see how tired she was.

“I could ask you the same thing.” She raises an eyebrow at Abby.

“I told you this was a bad idea.”

“You didn’t have to come, Teddy.” Abby replies.

“It’s ok, no ones in trouble here.” Annie says before turning her attention to you and Ransom. It makes you feel like you’ve been caught doing something bad. Both of you stand up and you reach out to shake hands with her. “You must be their bio parents. I hope so at least or else I’m going to have to kick someone’s ass. I’m Annie.” She jokes and it puts you at ease.

“I’m Y/N and this is Ransom and yes, we are their biological parents. May I ask, did you not know they would be here today?”

“I didn’t. I thought they’d be out exploring, like they said they would be.”

“So you lied to us?” Ransom finally spoke up as he looked at the twins. “We asked you to invite your parents and you said they were busy.”

“Ransom.”

“You lied?”

Both you and Annie said at the same time.

“Let’s take a moment. I’d like to have a word with you if it’s not too much trouble.” Annie looks at both you and Ransom.

“Yes, we’d love to talk to you. Why don’t we go somewhere more private?”

“The hotel I’m staying at is just a block away. We could go there.”

“Ok.” Annie nods. So the five of you leave the restaurant after Ransom graciously paid the bill.

****

“Order whatever you want.” Ransom tells Theodore and Abigail as he hands them the menu for room service before walking out to the balcony.

You and Annie sat opposite each other on a wrought iron table. Both of you were waiting for Ransom, who sat down beside you.

“So, where to begin?” Annie murmurs. “I had this whole conversation in my head. What I would say if I met you but now everything just seems to have completely erased from my mind.” She chuckles a bit. “I guess I want to start out by saying thank you. For having them and giving me the chance to be a mother. I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for you.”

“One of the worst experiences in my life, having to give them up. Does it bother you? That they came looking for us?”

“Not at all. To be completely transparent with you, I knew that address was imprinted on the letter. I knew Abigail, being the curious child she is, would see it and want to know more. I’m glad she was actually able to find you and meet you.”

“Would you and your husband be ok with us being in their lives?” Ransom asked cautiously. That was the most important question and honestly he wouldn’t know what to do if she said no.

Annie gave you both a sad smile as you sat there hopeful that she’d say yes. There was no way either of you could go back to your lives knowing that they’re so close.

“I’d be more than ok with that. But there’s a few things you should know. The most important is about my husband. In a few weeks it will be a year since he passed away.” She reveals, a few tears escape her. You grab her hand gently in hopes of giving her some type of comfort. “It was a drunk driver, he blew right through the intersection and hit my husband on the driver's side. He was on his way to pick Theodore up from the skating rink. The weather had been bad and we told him he should stay home but he really wanted to go with his friends. He feels responsible for his dad’s death.”

“That’s why he’s so angry.”

It was more of a statement than a question. Annie nods as she takes a deep breath and you pull your hand back.

“He thinks that if he hadn’t insisted his dad would be alive. But the truth is my husband would have caved and taken him anyway. He couldn’t see those kids sad at all, spoiled them rotten.”

“We’re so sorry about your loss. This last year must have been difficult.”

“Yeah, losing my Danny, telling the kids the truth and then moving here. Away from all of their friends and family. It’s why I’m glad they found you. Although I wish you would have been in their lives sooner but I never got any sort of response from either of you so I was afraid of what could have happened.”

Her statement takes you by surprise. From your understanding it was a closed adoption. There was no way for you to have any type of contact with them. Annie sees the confusion on both your faces and clarifies.

“I had both of your addresses. After they turned one I started writing to both of you once a month and sending pictures of the kids. I wanted both of you to see that Teddy and Abby were being well taken care of and were loved. And maybe you would have wanted to be in their lives in some way, we could have said you were family friends or something. But when I didn’t receive a response to the birthday invitation for their fifth birthday I stopped.”

It felt like a sucker punch to the gut. All of these years when you wondered how they were doing and where they were you could have known. You looked away from Annie and focused on some building in the distance.

“We never received them.” Ransom says, the bitter tone in his voice sent a chill down your spine.

“Maybe the addresses were wrong.”

“They weren’t. You have to know,” you turn back to look at her. “That we didn’t want to give them up. We had no choice, our parents pressured us into putting them up for adoption. Now I am glad that they had you and your husband. You’ve done such a fantastic job with them.” It was your turn to give her a sad smile. “You should be very proud.”

“Thank you. I think this could be good for them. Getting to know you and all, now it’s out in the open. They were so bad at not saying anything it was kind of cute.” She smiles. “They’ve always been thick as thieves, those two.”

“We can see that. Even though Theodore seems like he doesn’t want to meet with us. He’d do anything for his sister.” Ransom adds.

The French doors that connect the balcony to the hotel room swing open. Theodore stands there with a scowl on his face.

“Will you stop talking about us as if we’re not right here?”

“Watch your tone.” Ransom snaps.

“Ransom.”

“Theodore.”

Both you and Annie called out respectively. It seems like Theodore gets his temper from Ransom. They’re both explosive and reactive when they feel like they’re backed up against a corner.

“What? It’s the truth. Why are you making decisions about us without asking us first?” Theodore defended as Abigail walked up behind him. She peeked over his shoulder and looked like she was ready to apologize for his antics.

“He doesn’t mean it.”

“You don’t have to apologize for him, Abigail. He has the right to feel the way he does.” You say softly, catching everyone off guard. Annie sends you a grateful smile. “Your mom was just asking if we were serious about staying in your lives. She’s just protecting you before we talk to you about it.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Then we’ll respect your decision.”

Ransom shot you a questioning look.

“We’ll give them what we wished we had, a choice.” You tell him and he looks away before nodding. “We leave it up to you. I would love to be in your life in whatever way you’d like. I don’t expect you to call me mom or anything like that. I just want to get to know you and for you to know that I’ll be here for whatever you need.”

“Me too.” Ransom adds.

“Well I already have parents so I don’t need you in my life.”

“Theodore, what has gotten into you. I’ve raised you better than that.”

“I have a dad, I don’t need another one.” Teddy is on the verge of tears. In an act that surprised everyone, especially you, Ransom reaches out and pulls Theodore into a hug causing him to start crying. “I don’t want to forget him.”

“You won’t kid. I could never fill his shoes and we aren’t trying to replace your parents. We just want to get to know you. We’ll be here for you no matter what.”

No one said anything for a few minutes. Abigail went to hug Annie and then she came to hug you. She had tears in her own eyes as she watched her brother breakdown. Theodore eventually pulls away and moves to give you a hug.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbles into your shoulder.

“It’s ok.” You move your hand up and down his back. “I just ask that you take your time and think about it. When you’re ready we’ll be here. We’ll accept whatever your choice is.”

Theodore pulls back and nods before stepping away from you.

“I think it’s best we get going.” Annie says.

“Yeah, ok. You can get our numbers from the kids. I’d like to stay in contact.”

“We’ll talk soon.”

Abigail hugs you both quickly before following Annie and Theodore out.

“That’s was a fucking rollercoaster.” Ransom says as soon as you’re alone.

“Yeah.”

“I’m getting a drink, do you want one?”

“I don’t drink.” You say as you follow him inside.

“You don’t?”

“No I don’t and you know why.”

Ransom looks over at you sitting on the couch as he pours himself some whiskey. Once he’s done he sits next to you and takes a big sip. You roll your eyes.

“You’re an ass, you know that.”

“I’ve been called worse by less important people.”

“And on that note, how are your parents?” You ask with fake interest.

“Just peachy. The spawn of satan just sold another property to some high and mighty piece of shit. And the spineless weasel is using her money to buy expensive gifts for his mistress.”

“You’re joking?” You look at him with disbelief written all over your face.

“Wish I was.”

“After that whole speech they gave us about being immoral and ruining the good name of the Thrombey family.”

“What can I say thimble? They’re not good at practicing what they preach. How are yours?”

“Alive I guess. I did my best to leave them in the past.” There is a beat of silence. “I bet he still has those letters.”

“Knowing Linda she probably burnt mine.”

“Let’s never be like our parents.” You mutter.

“If they’re the ones that set the bar on parenting we can only go up, thimble.”

“That’s the fucking truth.” You turn your head to look at him. “I’m proud of you by the way.”

It always caught Ransom off guard to hear that anyone was proud of him. In this instance he was unsure why.

“You handled the situation with Theodore better than I thought you would. Little rough start but you got there.”

You smile when you see his cheeks go pink. It was easy to make Ransom blush and it was your favorite thing to do. It reminded you of when you were younger and neither of you had really figured out what you meant to each other. Whenever you complimented him or said anything nice in general he would blush just like he is right now.

“I should get going. Fingers crossed they want to keep seeing us.” You say as you get up. Ransom follows you to the door and says his goodbyes.

“Fingers crossed.” He repeats.

This whole situation reminded Ransom why he didn’t do relationships. It was honestly killing him to have his heart exposed like that. He did his best to hold back and act as if it wasn’t that important but it was. One meeting. That’s all it took for him to be wrapped around their fingers. Waiting to find out what they wanted was going to be excruciating but he’d endure it. For them and for you. He’d do anything for you too.

“So what are you two thinking?” Annie asks as she closes the front door of their house.

Teddy just shrugs his shoulders as he looks anywhere but at her. Abby has her gaze averted and staring at the floor of the living room.

“You can tell me the truth. I promise I won’t feel bad about it.”

“I really like them. They’re nice.” Abby admits. “I’ve been texting with them a lot. Mostly Y/N. About her job, she’s a fashion designer and she gets to dress all of these celebrities.”

“Does she know you want to go into fashion too?” Annie asks as she takes a seat on the couch.

“I couldn’t tell her. I don’t want her to think I’m using her for something, but I guess it’s nice to know where I get it from.”

“You mean you don’t get your sense of fashion from me?”

Abby smiles and shakes her head.

“I’ve been begging you for a while to let me redo your wardrobe and you won’t do it.”

“And I never will because I happen to be a snappy dresser.”

“That’s the problem mom, you should be sleek and stylish not snappy.” Abby informs her.

“I’ll think about it. What about you?”

“I don’t know.” Teddy shrugged his shoulders again.

“How are you feeling after today?”

He just shrugs his shoulders. “I’m gonna go lay down for a while, I feel like I’m getting a headache.”

“Ok sweetheart. We’ll talk later.”

****

In his room Teddy pulls out his phone and dials Ransom’s number before he could change his mind.

“Hey kid. Everything ok?” Ransom asks cautiously.

“Yeah. I mean I don’t know… everything just feels messed up right now.”

“What can I do to help?”

“I don’t know.” Teddy sniffles. “I just feel responsible for them, you know. Like I have to be the man of the house. I don’t want mom to feel bad if I want to hang out with you and Y/N.”

“I don’t think she’ll feel bad, kid. She seemed happy that we got to meet. If it makes you feel better she’s more than welcome to join us any time we get together.”

“Mom is like that. She puts on a brave face and acts like everything’s alright. But when she thinks no one will know I hear her crying.” Teddy sniffles as he opens up to Ransom more. “She already lost dad. I don’t want her to think she’ll lose us too.”

“Never. We would never get in the way of your relationship with your mom. To be honest I wish I had a mom like her, she seems like one of the good ones.” Ransom confesses.

“She is. Can I ask you something?”

“You just did.” Ransom chuckles. “What is it?”

“Did you mean it? Everything you said earlier?”

“Absolutely, without a doubt.”

“Do you…” Theodore hesitates.

“Do I what?”

“Do you regret having us?”

“No.” Ransom says quickly. “Loving your mother, Y/N, and having you is the only good thing I’ve ever done. Never ever doubt that. The choice we made was in hopes of giving you something neither of us had which was a happy and loving family. And before you say anything, yes we loved each other and we love you. But we just couldn’t take care of you the way you deserved.”

“Ok.” Theodore says after a beat of silence. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Alright, call me for whatever you need.”

“Bye Ransom.”

“Bye Theodore.”

Theodore hangs up and places his phone on his bedside table and picks up the picture he has of him in his hockey uniform. His dad proudly stands beside him. He can only hope that his dad is proud of him now and that he’s making the right choice.

Ch. 4

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[biniminisblog]

Good Boy Gone Bad | Lee Felix SMAU

chapter seven

word count: 790

“Wow,”

taking in the view, you never realised how beautiful seoul looked until now. the bright lights of the buildings and cars perfectly illuminate the dark sky and the park you were currently in. the peacefulness of the area makes you feel at ease, like you had no problems at all.

next to you was felix, who was gazing at you the whole time while you were busy admiring the scenery. the more he looks at you, the clearer his feelings for you get, and it’s starting to scare him. he knows he shouldn’t feel this way, but he can’t help it when you just look so beautiful under the night sky. when you finally look back at him, the whole world stops and his only focus is you and you alone.

“this is beautiful, felix. i never thought to visit the park this late at night, but after this i might have to come by more often.” you remark, and felix breaks eye contact with you to finally look at the view he has been used to seeing. it seems that after your comment though, the scenery starts to bring sparks to him again, and he begins to realise how down bad he really is for you.

“mhm, i go here late at night whenever i have a rough time at home, you probably heard about my parents already so i’ll just spare you the details.” felix shrugs and you nod, thinking back to what somi had mentioned weeks ago about his parents. he must’ve been really pressured to not only be good at everything, but also be an angel to everyone, and you start to feel bad about the whole blackmailing situation.

“is that why you started smoking?”

“part of it, yes, but i also enjoy the feeling. i don’t smoke anymore if you're wondering, the last time was when you caught me.” at the mention of that, you lower your head and cover your face in shame.

“i’m really sorry about blackmailing you. if it makes you feel better, i deleted the photo even before you agreed to tutor me so you don’t have to worry about that anymore.”

suddenly remembering the predicament he had just weeks prior to this, he was shocked to find out you never intended to leak the photo in the first place. it made him resent the people who wronged you even more. seeing you feel remorse over what you’ve done urged him to reassure and comfort you.

“hey, it’s alright, don’t feel bad about it. if i were you i probably would’ve done the same, and to be honest i forgot the photo even existed in the first place,” you remove your hands from your face and look up at felix, only to see that his face is mere inches away from your own. you start to become flustered, however you don’t pull away.

“really? then have you been in love with me this whole time?” you tease, a smile grazing your features. felix’s eyes dart down to your pink lips, tempting him to kiss it.

“who knows? maybe it’s the other way around since you’ve blackmailed me just to hang out with me.” your faces get closer, and you both feel the ghost of your lips as it almost touches.

“are you flirting with me, felix?” his hands start touching your arms.

“you started it.” you dart your eyes towards his lips.

“well, did it work?” his eyes do the same.

“i think you know the answer to that.” when you were about to give in, your phone suddenly interrupts the moment.

in a split second, you both pull away as if you were burned. felix looks anywhere but you while awkwardly playing with his rings, and you check the caller to see it was somi, who probably called to congratulate you and ask where you were. you clear your throat awkwardly before glancing at felix who was still avoiding your gaze.

“uhm, so i have to go now. i actually still have a lot of stuff to do and somi just called so yeah…” you drag out the last word, fumbling with your phone, and felix nods his head.

“let me take you home,” felix starts to pick up your things but you hurriedly retract his hands. he finally looks at you, a flash of what seemed like hurt and confusion seen in his eyes, but you ignore it.

“oh no! it’s totally fine, somi will pick me up so don’t worry about it.” you lie, and and you think felix knows, but he doesn’t argue with you.

“ok, but be safe and message me when you get home!”

“i will!” you know you won’t but you still say so anyway.

synopsis: felix gets caught smoking by you, the school’s regina george, and gets blackmailed to help you pass chemistry in exchange for keeping his secret.

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a/n: this was supposed to be in chapter six but i felt like it was too long so i separated it. soo this is like the continuation of chapter six!

[deliciouskeys]

Butchlander are answering the Valentine’s 25 asks

* first date: describe your ideal first date.

BB: We meet at a racetrack, I stare at him across the way and drink a beverage with his face on it.

HL: … What? Oh, that. That wasn’t a date.

BB: it was to me.

HL: I prefer visiting his house and having a bitch session.

* first kiss: what’s the best way to be kissed?

BB: fast, hard and spontaneous

HL: what he said.

* preference: sexuality? what’s your ‘type’?

BB: I like cunts.

HL: I like people who have no fear. So, brave or stupid.

* blush: what could someone do this valentine’s to make you feel special?

BB: Give me head.

HL: Tell me I’m enough.

BB: That’s sad, mate.

HL: Does that mean you’re going to say it to me? *dares to hope*

BB: Nah.

* hand holding: do you like pda?

BB: fuck no

HL: fuck YES

* family: how important is your family’s approval of your s.o.?

BB: The Boys are my family and I don’t want to scare little Hughie. Plus I’d be setting a bad example. I’m not telling them.

HL: All my parental figures are gone. Except one. But he’s not going to approve of anyone, so idc.

* doves: what’s the most romantic thing someone’s done for you?

HL: Enthusiastically agreed to scorch the earth with me 🥰

BB: He keeps making all these over the top gestures, but honestly when he made me tea even though he doesn’t drink it.

* love hearts: where were you when you met your crush?

BB: A Vought Christmas party 💀

HL: I said I love that accent but I hated it

BB: do you still?

HL: occasionally. When I can’t make out what you’re saying.

BB: he speaks “perfect American”, of course.

HL: I do! They coached me to enunciate.

* candy: favourite thing to eat on a date?

HL: I have recently discovered the existence of dulce de leche

BB: anything with chopsticks because I love watching his xenophobic ass struggle

* 100th date: would you prefer to stay in or go out this valentine’s?

HL: Stay in, the restaurants are crowded and paps are looking for photo opps.

BB: Nothing to add to that.

* roses: do you like picnic dates?

HL: Have we had one? I thought you British people loved picnics.

BB: He knows so much about the UK 🙄

* giggle: what’s more important in an s.o.: intelligence or humour?

BB: Humor for me, obviously, because this guy dresses like a clown.

HL: Certainly not intelligence, as you can see from this guy’s jokes.

* lace: who looks best in your favourite colour?

BB: My favorite color is black and I don’t think he’s ever worn black in his life, so me.

HL: My favorite color is blue, and I doubt he’s ever worn navy blue in his life. So me.

* cupid: have you ever been set up? have you ever set anyone else up? how did it go?

HL: Yes, they made me date Maeve for the points. It was awesome.

BB: Nope.

* lovebirds: at what point in a relationship would you make it ‘public’?

HL and BB (in unison): Immediately / Never

HL: What was that?

BB: You heard me.

HL: Well it takes two to keep a secret, but only one person to go public.

* love knots: would you like to forget the person you shared your first kiss with?

BB: Some girl in elementary school. I don’t want to forget, but I don’t remember her name. Jenny?

HL: They made me practice with Vought employees around the time I turned 18. Yes, I’d like to forget.

BB: Uh, wow, me too. Forget what you just said, that is.

* promise ring: who do you see yourself being with in two years?

HL: I’ll either be with him, or he’ll be dead

BB: Care to elaborate?

HL: I’m just saying the most likely outcomes, nothing ominous.

* ballad: best love song?

BB: Wannabe

HL: The one that goes “not gonna write you a love song cause you asked…”

BB: You mean from that Bareilles bird?

HL: Probably. What. Why’re you laughing. Yours is a spice girl song.

BB: Cause you’re actually serious.

* aphrodite: how important are looks?

HL: Important.

BB: Important I guess. 😒

* angel: do you like ‘bad boys’ or sweethearts more?

BB: America’s sweetheart, bad boy behind closed doors and between the sheets.

HL: I am not a bad boy in any setting or capacity. But I’m apparently drawn to date them.

* harp: have you ever written a poem for a crush?

BB: *laughs shaking his head in disbelief at the question*

HL: Why would I? Pearls before swine.

* red: where will you be spending february 14th?

HL: Probably doing superhero duties, rescuing suicidal incels and the like.

BB: Watching him doing his bullshit work on the news.

* love notes: who was your last valentine? where are they now?

HL: My last valentine before him was an invalid. She… ended up dying.

BB: My last one was in 2011. *grim*

* flowers: what’s the best romantic gift to give someone?

BB: Sometimes a good old punch in the teeth. Or a spanking to set them straight.

HL: I gave him a dose of Compound V to use and he tried to return it to Vought for retail value cash.

* st. valentine: what are your hopes for love this year?

BB: For him to stop being a cunt.

HL: To have the person I’m dating still be alive at the end of the year.