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kingdom-by-the-sea · 2 years

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The Not Valentine’s Date

Summary- Mutual pining, an office bet, and baby sitting make for an interesting Valentine’s Day between Spencer and Hotch’s daughter.

Warnings- fluffy fluff

Pairing- Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader Hotch’s daughter

Word Count- 2.7k

A/N- This is something I randomly wrote last year after Valentine’s Day but didn’t post cause I felt like I had missed my window. Who knows maybe I’ll write something later this week that I’ll post in a year.

—————-

“Eww,” Emily complained, scrunching up her face in disgust, “Please tell me that none of those lines actually work on real life girls. I don’t understand why guys had to start going around saying stuff like that and ruin Valentine’s day for the rest of us.”

”Woah,” Prentiss stopped Reid mid-explaining, “You are not actually referring to that,” she gestured vaguely in Morgan’s direction, “as poetry.”

Spencer scrunched his face in consideration, “Not in the traditional sense, I suppose. However, in my opinion, some of the best lines of poetry about love have nothing to do with Valentine’s day so using it as the standard might not properly reflect what you’re looking for.”

“Oh really,” Morgan questioned, “And what exactly would you use to woo the ladies on the fourteenth?”

Reid considered the question seriously his fingers tapping to some indiscernible beat as he thought, “‘We loved with a love that was more than love.’”

“What?” Morgan’s reaction was quick and it seemed that everyone else in the group mirrored his sentiment, “Hate to break it to you, pretty boy, but no girl you mention that to is going to have a clue-”

“You quote a man who married his thirteen year-old cousin on love?” Y/N asked suddenly, drawing everyone’s attention.

“They really are a match made in heaven…” Prentiss muttered only loud enough for Morgan to hear, who responded with a chuckle.

Reid’s face darkened several shades of red, “I just mean-”

“It’s fine,” Y/N let out a small laugh, “I’m just teasing. Annabel Lee’s probably my favorite poem. Just sucks that most of the romanticism poets were… just really weird.”

Spencer regained his composure and released an unexpected laugh, “Yeah.”

“Anyone want more coffee, I’m going to get another cup,” Y/N stood and left for the kitchenette after finding there weren’t any takers.

“So close and yet… so far,” Prentiss said once Y/N was out of earshot.

“Seriously, man,” Morgan started, “Just ask her to go to dinner or something already.”

Reid rolled his eyes, “Is this about your bet pool thing again?”

“Not anymore,” Morgan said, “I’ve been out since last month. Somehow I thought New Years would do the trick.”

Prentiss laughed, “You’re doing way better than me. I really thought the hormones would outweigh this nerdy stupidity,” she gestured at Reid’s face, “and said Halloween.”

“Halloween?!” Reid squeaked out before lowering his voice significantly, “There is no way you thought Y/N and I would get together by Halloween of last year.”

The two agents dutifully ignored him and Morgan continued, “Who’s even left at this point? I know Rossi chose St. Patrick’s day for whatever reason.”

“And Hotch said Valentine’s,” Prentiss finished and any air of concern left Reid’s face.

“Well now I know you’re making this up,” he turned back to his work, “There is no way Hotch would bet on his daughter’s love life.”

Prentiss tsked, “Your future father-in-law is going to be very disappointed if you miss this benchmark.”

“Seriously though,” Morgan started again, “Just ask her to hang out. Don’t even call it a date.”

“We hang out all the time though…” Spencer whispered, fiddling with his tie.

“Then it shouldn’t be that big of a deal,” Morgan patted him on the shoulder, “Go get her, lover boy.”

Reluctantly, Reid rose from his seat and made his way to the kitchenette. Y/N was busy filling up her mug with the right amount of sugar- that is as much as can fit in the cup- but smiled when she noticed him.

“Did you change your mind? I can grab another mug.”

“What? Oh- no, I’m good,” he glanced over at her searching for the right words, “I was just wondering if you maybe wanted to hang out on Monday…?”

Y/N’s face lit up at the thought before she scrunched up her nose, “I’d love to but I can’t. I’m actually watching Jack so my dad can go out but maybe this weekend?”

She returned to stirring her coffee not noticing the third person entering the vicinity.

“Or Reid could come over and help you with Jack?” Hotch said, forcing them both to turn suddenly in his direction.

“Oh no,” Y/N began, “You don’t have to do that. I wouldn’t want you to waste your Valentine’s Day.”

“No, no. That sounds great,” Spencer smiled at her and her heart seemed to warm as she mirrored his reaction, “Send me the times over the weekend.”

With that Reid walked back to his desk in semi-victory.

“Did Reid just ask you to hangout with him on Valentine’s Day?” Hotch asked with a mock accusatory glance.

“Yeah,” Y/N said absentmindedly, “I mean no- I mean he did but it's not like that. We are just two single adults who enjoy each other’s company and not having to feel lonely on a day devoted to love.”

“Y/N, what exactly do you call it when two single adults meet up on Valentine’s Day to ‘enjoy each other’s company?’” he could barely manage to suppress the smile growing on his face at the teasing.

Her face turned pink, “I’m not sure- but apparently you call it babysitting.”

~~~

As the evening waned on, Y/N was more and more glad for Spencer’s company. Outside of simply enjoying his presence, it helped to have a second person there to reign in some of Jack’s more energetic behavior. However, her appreciation wasn’t enough to keep her from noticing how her heartstrings tugged seeing the way Jack and Spencer both lit each other up with excitement. Spencer was beyond engaging and Y/N finally understood why Henry always seemed to immediately latch onto Spencer at BAU gatherings. It was intoxicating to watch them together and Y/N easily could have lost herself in the moment if it weren’t for the screaming six-year-old running around the house constantly threatening to knock things over. Luckily for Reid, Y/N, and their respective sanities, this level of energy wasn’t sustainable and an eventual crash was inevitable.

He nodded lazily in response, “Can we watch Encanto?” for a brief moment the sparks returned behind his eyes as he mentioned what was quickly becoming his new favorite movie.

“Sure,” Y/N said with a small laugh. This would have to be close to the twentieth time she had seen the movie but for Jack’s sake, it was all worth it.

Jack headed for the stairs and Spencer was quick to follow after him.

“I’ll help him get ready for bed,” he explained, noticing what was apparently a rather obvious expression of confusion and the slight tilt of her head, “You could set up the movie?”

Having your heart flutter this much had to be medically concerning, but there was nothing Y/N could do to stop it as she watched her best friend take her brother’s small hand.

“Okay,” she whispered and was met with a smile that sent her straight back into heart-fluttering territory. No matter how long she knew Spencer, he never stopped surprising her. Considering the effort and detail he put into every other aspect of his life, it shouldn’t have been a surprise that he would be so attentive with her brother. And yet he still managed to strengthen his hold on her heart with every little action that came as some unexpected surprise to her. In truth, she suspected it was a precautionary measure, if she truly let herself recognize how kind and wonderful Spencer was, she’d be done for in an instant.

All the precautions in the world couldn’t have stopped the back of her mind from spinning stories about him though. Spencer was too gentle and pure to keep the less hardened parts of her soul from imagining what it all could be like if she could indulge if she could step over the line she had drawn in the sand for herself.

Upstairs, it seemed Jack had stumbled upon a small reservoir of energy, taking the time to show Spencer his favorite toys and stuffed animals while Spencer attempted to offer him various pajama set options. Eventually, Jack settled on the set covered with small dogs.

Spencer didn’t mind the push and pull Jack, or other children gave him. There was something so strangely fascinating to him about a mind so free from insecurity and a child’s willingness to simply say what was on their mind. Despite his extensive memory, he couldn’t remember a time he truly felt like that and hoped it was merely a result of the fog around his earliest memories. Every decision he made was coated in consideration and accounted for every possible result. He couldn’t help but wish that his hypervigilance would let up from time to time and leave him free to explore the thoughts, and emotions, that remained.

“You work with my sister,” Jack offered up less as a question and more as a statement.

“Yes, I do,” Spencer responded to the not question.

The boy’s head bobbed in as much seriousness as a six-year-old could muster, “Can you still be friends with someone if you work with them?”

Spencer watched as he stepped away from him and began absentmindedly examining the toys around his room.

“Of course,” Spencer answered, not sure where this line of question was headed, “Your sister and I are very good friends then.”

Jack’s attention swiftly returned to Spencer, “So you like her then?”

“I do like her. She’s smart and cool,” Spencer narrowed his eyes slightly on the boy, “Just like you.”

Jack came closer to him and in what he seemed to think was a hushed voice said, “Did you know that sometimes when people really like they get married…?”

“And then….” he scrunched up his face and whispered, “They make a baby.”

Spencer’s mouth fell open and his eyes widened in what Jack considered to be genuine surprise.

“I know, right?” Jack stepped away and began picking up a blanket and stuffed animal to take downstairs with him, without looking up he added, “Do you think you and Y/N will get married?”

Spencer’s mind went completely blank. None of the dozens of courses he had taken over the years would provide him with any sort of answer that would satisfy Jack. Part of him wanted to say yes and not give any of it another thought but reason quickly squashed that idea. And yet…

And yet he couldn’t bring himself to say no either. It was far too permanent and left no room for the small bead of hope he hid away in the back of his mind.

“Maybe…” he answered finally, “I don’t really know though…”

Jack pulled the blanket and toy behind him and giggled, “I hope you do!”

Spencer’s stomach did a somersault and he scooped the small boy and his blanket up into his arms before he could notice the strange smile emerging on his face. I do too.

~~~

“I swear that kid is pure energy,” Y/N said, shutting the door behind them and stepping out into the cool night with Spencer.

Y/N pointed a somewhat accusatory finger at him, “And don’t say something like ‘technically we are all energy since we’re made of mass.’’

He rolled his eyes at her with a smile, “I was going to say that while he may have been more energetic than I expected- I had fun hanging out with you guys.”

She couldn’t help the smile that immediately bubbled up to the surface of her lips, “I had fun too. I’m glad I didn’t completely waste your Valentine’s day.”

“Never,” he whispered just loud enough for her to hear.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you on Monday,” Y/N said when they reached the end of the driveway where Spencer’s car was parked.

His eyes narrowed slightly on her, “What are you doing? How are you getting back to your apartment?”

“Oh I have an uber coming in a little bit. I”m just going to wait here until they get here.”

“You want me to leave you here on the side of the road and drive away?” he questioned.

“No,” Y/N corrected, “I want you to leave me at the end of my dad’s driveway.”

“I’m not leaving you here,” Spencer said definitively, “I’ll drive you or we could go back to my apartment and watch awful romcoms and start working on the mound of candy Rossi and Garcia got us.”

She blinked at him, “Really?”

“Yeah,” his movement suddenly became awkward and choppy, “I mean you obviously don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“No, no,” Y/N smiled, “I’m just surprised. You spent the past five hours with me and my hyperactive brother and you want to hang out more?”

“I always want to spend time with you,” he said shyly.

“Sometimes I just forget that you’re you, Spence,” Y/N shook her head slightly and took a step closer to him.

“I hope that’s not a bad thing,” his eyes were slightly wider than usual.

“No, not at all. It’s the best thing actually,” Y/N smiled up at him, “And just so you know, I’d gladly spend every moment of every day with you.”

He looked down at her, not able to suppress the smile growing on his face.

“You know,” Spencer said, clearing his throat slightly, “Jack said something to me earlier and I didn’t know how to respond to him.”

“Oh gosh…” her voice faded into a slight chuckle.

“He was asking me all these questions about you. Like if we were friends and if I thought you were nice,” Spencer watched as Y/N glanced up at him, “I said yes to both of those… but then- then he asked if we were going to get married.”

Y/N’s lips let out a silent “oh.”

She blinked and glanced down at the ground momentarily, “What did you tell him?”

He scratched absently at the side of his head, “Well I wasn’t sure what to say so I told him maybe?”

Y/N’s face broke into a smile and near laugh, “You told him ‘maybe?’”

“I’m sorry I just didn’t know what to say. You’re not mad, are you?”

“No, no,” she let out the rest of the laugh, “I just think we should go on a date before you start promising these kinds of things to my brother.”

Spencer blinked and swallowed before looking down at the ground, “Would you have said yes if I asked you out?”

“Yeah,” a soft smile settled on her lips, “I mean of course. Don’t tell Jack but you’re kind of my favorite person in the world.”

“Really?” his eyes settled on hers.

“What? Did you think I’d say no?” Y/N asked with genuine concern.

“I don’t know I just thought that it would make things difficult since we work together and-”

“Spence, hey, hey, stop it!” she said with a slight laugh.

A beat passed where she just looked at him.

“What are you doing?” he whispered.

Y/N smiled, “I just want to remember the moment right before I kiss you.”

Spencer’s eyes widened slightly.

“Is that okay?”

He nodded not sure if she was referring to the moment or the kiss but it didn’t matter either way. She smiled up at him again, looking into his eyes and her hands moved up till they met behind his neck. After inhaling slightly, Y/N perched on her toes and gently pulled Spencer’s face down until their lips met each other.

#spencer reid smut #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid request #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #comfort fic #criminal minds smut #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid imagines

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cloudlessly-light · 6 months

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i need a hotchniss proposal fic if you will ever write one with or without smut! you write so well im sure it will be great whatever it is <3

A/N: Thank you Anon, that is so sweet of you! I hope you enjoy this little fluff!

Title: Darling, this is more than everything Summary: In the end, it’s nothing short of a miracle that Emily doesn’t figure out earlier that he’s carried the ring around for months. Word count: 3,6k Rating: General Warnings: None, it's all fluff

Aaron knew he wanted to marry Emily after only a few weeks of dating. It was strange, being so sure about another person. He had never been very trusting, and after Haley he never imagined falling in love again, let alone loving someone like he loved Emily.

It hit him out of nowhere one morning. She had gotten up earlier than him and he found her in the kitchen with Jack, talking to him with a smile so comforting that Aaron felt his heart ache with adoration for her. And that’s when he knew.

Of course, he didn’t say anything about it, they were just starting out, both of them still had walls and issues of their own to deal with, even as they built a life together.

“I’ve never loved anybody like I love you.”

The words make him stop, because they come out of nowhere and he looks at Emily who’s sitting on the couch with a book in her lap. She was usually never the one to be so straight forward with her feelings, still had trouble expressing them sometimes even after almost a year of dating.

She’s blushing, her teeth digging into her bottom lip, like she hadn’t expected the words herself. But he’s smiling, smiling so big she’s sure it must hurt his cheeks.

“I’ve never loved anybody like I love you either, sweetheart.” He tells her as he takes the book from her lap and places it on the coffee table. When he kisses her it’s with all the promises he still hasn’t told her out loud.

As they lay in bed later that night he finds himself wondering what kind of ring she’d want.

He doesn’t mention his plans to anyone, and yet he’s unsurprised that JJ figures it out first. She was more perceptive than people thought and she knew him well, probably better than most.

“Are you proposing to Emily?” She asks when they’re alone and packing up after a case and he catches the smile on her face.

“Why would you ask that?” He continues to stack pipers into piles to be put into boxes and JJ chuckles.

“Because when you look at her I swear you look like your hearts stops beating and because it’s been more than a year, and you already live together.” She stops when he looks at her with a heavy brow and a knowing look and she faulters for a second. “And maybe because I saw when you stole one of her rings from her dresser last week when we had dinner.”

There it was, he thought. He looks at her for another couple of seconds and then relaxes.

“Don’t tell anyone.” He can’t help the way he laughs at the way JJ’s whole face lights up in excitement.

“I won’t.” She looks back to where she sees Derek and Emily walk towards them and she hurriedly asks. “When?”

“I haven’t decided yet.” He says quietly and finishes up putting the last few stacks of papers into boxes when Emily walks into the small conference room they had been working in, Derek right behind her.

“You’re awfully slow today.” She teases and comes to stand next to him, her hand finding his. They were done with the case, could finally let go of Hotch and Prentiss for a moment to simply be themselves.

“If you had helped it would have gone faster.” He quips and she fakes annoyance, her eyebrows furrowing even as she’s biting the inside of her cheek to keep her smirk at bay.

“I’ll have you know we were doing very important things.”

“Mhm sure, like what?” JJ asks and when Emily looks at her best friend she’s sure she can see happiness on her face that she hasn’t seen in a while.

“Coffee breaks are important for the soul.” Derek answers for her and she throws a crumbled up piece of paper at him.

“Good job ‘not letting the boss know we’re slacking off’, Morgan.” When she’s met with Derek’s laugh and Aaron’s heavy browed frown she shrugs and bats her eyelashes.

“It’s a good thing I love you.” He mutters she grins winningly.

He finds the ring he wants a couple of months later. It’s simple, a white gold band with a diamond that he knows Emily won’t find to be too much but is still a decent carat. He’s walking out of the jewelry store, the box still in his hand when he collides with somebody out of nowhere.

“Oh, excuse me- Hotch?” Derek looks at him in surprise. “Sorry I didn’t see you. What are you doing here?”

“I had some errands-” He starts but he can already see the other man look at the store he just walked out of, eyes soon finding the box in his hand, and he stops trying to explain as Derek grins.

“So it’s finally time huh?” He beams, his warm hand landing on his shoulder as he squeezes it. “Your secret is safe with me.”

“Thank you.” He smiles at him and puts the box in his inside pocket.

“Come on, let me buy you a drink to celebrate.”

Even if Aaron had wanted to object, he knew there wasn’t a point.

He wants to propose the moment he has the ring, but he also wants to make it special. So he waits, and in that time Spencer figures it out. Aaron knew he’d never really understand the youngest man of their team’s brain, how he notices patterns and changes so easily.

But one night he knocks on his office door, a look of uncertainty on his face and Aaron immediately stops writing.

“Are you alright Reid?” He asks as Spencer closes the door carefully behind him.

“Yes. I just, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

He motions for him to sit down and he straightens in his chair but he stays quiet and waits for whatever Spencer needs to say.

“JJ is my best friend.” He starts and it only makes Aaron confused. “But before Doyle, before Paris, Emily was the one I trusted more than anyone. She never judged me.”

“If this is about us not telling you about faking her death-” He starts but is quickly cut off by the younger man.

“No. No it’s not that.” Spencer straightens slightly in his chair, his eyes meeting Aaron’s darker ones. “I trust her with everything, and I know she trusts you with everything, including her heart.”

“Reid-” He starts again but he’s interrupted again.

“When you propose, you have to be sure. About her, about your relationship.” He says and he sees the way Aaron looks at him in surprise, eyebrows knitted together.

“Have I done something that makes you think I’m not?” He finally asks and Spencer shakes his head.

“No, and I know you make each other happy, probably happier than I’ve ever seen either of you. But just… be sure.” He sits for another few seconds before nodding and then stands.

“I am.” Aaron stands too and walks around the desk. To Spencer’s surprise, Aaron pulls him into a hug. “Thank you for looking out for her.” He says before letting go and he sees the other man relax, a small smile on his face.

Spencer starts to walk toward the door but he’s stopped by the sound of Aaron voice.

“How did you know?” He asks a mix of disbelief and amusement on his face.

“I just did.”

The night he had planned to propose the first time, they’re called away on a case last minute and the disappointment he feels is close to overbearing. Emily notices the moment his face drops after the phone call.

“Are you alright, honey?” She takes his hand over the table they’re sitting at, not even halfway through their main course yet.

“Yeah, but we gotta go, we have a case and it can’t wait until the morning.” He squeezes her hand and musters a smile that he hopes seems genuine.

“You know that’s not why I’m asking.” She stands up and lets him help her with her jacket.

“I just wanted a night with you.” He kisses her softly and then grabs his own coat. “We have to go.”

Dave knows something is wrong almost as quickly as Emily did. Not that he should be surprised, the older man had always been exceptional at reading him. He doesn’t say anything until they’re flying back three days later. It had been three excruciating days, barely any sleep and they were still too late to save a family from the torment of losing a child. So the moment they take off they’re all resting, getting some much-needed sleep. Everyone except Dave and Aaron.

“Want to tell me what’s been bothering you?” Dave sets two glasses of scotch down at the table and then sits across from him at the two-person table in the corner.

“We lost a child and the unsub committed suicide.” He mutters dryly and Dave tilts his head slightly to the side.

“Yeah, it’s a huge loss. But that isn’t what’s been on your mind.” He takes a sip of the amber liquid in his glass, his ice clinking slightly as he does. When Aaron just shakes his head, the older man sighs, but he won’t give up. Then he catches how dark eyes move through the cabin, no doubt seeking out Emily who’s sleeping next to JJ at the four-person table. “So it’s about Emily?”

“Dave, not now.” He tries arguing but he knows the other man well and when all he’s met with is a look of exasperation he sighs heavily. When Dave had a feeling something was wrong, he never could let it go, a trait of his that was annoying as well as comforting. With that thought in mind, Aaron looked around to see if everyone was still asleep and realized that everyone on the plane already knew, except Dave and Emily. “I was going to propose, but we got called in.”

“Oh.” Is all he says and the close to nonchalant attitude makes Aaron slightly irritated. “Then you’ll just try again.”

“How long have you known?” He asks and when Dave leans forward over the table, a kind smile on his face, Aaron takes a sip of his drink.

“That you’ve bought the ring already? Just found that out. That you’ll marry her someday? Since long before you got together.” He raises his glass in a cheers and then drinks the rest of his scotch.

Aaron realizes that since the whole team already knows, that he should tell Penelope as well, it was only fair. The only problem was, the bubbly blonde couldn’t keep a secret to save her life. So he doesn’t tell her for another few weeks, not until he’s planned the proposal in every detail.

“I’m going to propose to Emily tomorrow night.” He tells her in her office and he’s never been happier that the room was close to soundproof when Penelope screams in excitement.

“Oh my gosh! This is so freaking exciting! Where? How? Tell me everything! Do you have the ring? Oh oh can I see it?” She rambles and Aaron can’t help but to laugh because her enthusiasm was always contagious, but especially today.

“I’m taking her out to dinner at her favorite restaurant, and then after dinner we’ll walk over to the Watergate hotel and have a drink on their rooftop bar, and there with a view of the Potomac I’ll ask her.” He pulls out the ring and while Penelope had been clapping and gasping, she goes silent when she sees the ring.

“This is beautiful. She will love it.” She smiles, tears in her eyes and Aaron finds himself wondering how she’s capable of such genuine joy for the people around her.

“Thank you.” He has barely put the ring back in his pocket before she pulls him into a tight hug.

“I’m so happy for you.”

Emily knows something is up the moment she wakes up. It was a Saturday and they had the weekend off, and yet, Aaron was already out of bed. She hears him in the kitchen, and as she walks towards the clattering of plates she smells coffee and French toast.

“What’s this?” She asks with a smile as she watches the spread of fresh fruit and jams on the table.

“We made you breakfast.” Jack smiles, carrying glasses to the table.

“I see that, what’s the occasion?” She ruffles his hair as he walks by and then goes to stand next to Aaron who’s putting the toast up on plates.

“No occasion, we just thought we’d show you some appreciation today.” He kisses her temple and then she pulls him into a kiss that makes Jack look away in embarrassment.

“You’re planning something.” She smiles against his lips but he shakes his head no. “Liar.”

The morning is spent together as a family and as the day goes on, Aaron finds himself getting more excited, as well as nervous. After breakfast, Jack headed over to his friend’s house, where he would be spending the night, and Aaron took the opportunity to show Emily just how much he loved her.

They spent the day together, just enjoying each other and relaxing until Emily needed to start getting ready to go out. While she was showering, he placed the bouquet of flowers he had bought her on the bed and then cleaned up around the apartment until he too, needed to get ready.

She had tried to get it out of him all day, had even bribed Jack with comic books but the 9-year-old had refused with a toothy grin. When she gets out of the shower she sees the flowers, huge red roses with a small card attached that she’s careful to pick up.

I love you, now and forever.

As she reads the words she feels her stomach knotting in excitement. They hadn’t talked much about marriage, not in any detail at least, because it was unspoken between them that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. She didn’t need the ring or a wedding, but as she reread the note, she realized that she wanted it. Suddenly this day made sense. She smells the roses, a smile on her face that she can’t seem to control.

The smile doesn’t leave her face even as she gets dressed, choosing a dark blue dress she knows Aaron loves and then does her make up. When she comes out of their bedroom he’s already waiting for her.

“These are beautiful.” She tells him and holds the flowers up before moving to the kitchen to put them in water.

“Not as beautiful as you. But nothing is.” He hugs her from behind, his lips lingering against her neck and she shivers from his proximity.

“You’re so cheesy.” She turns her head enough to kiss him and he hums into it.

“Only sometimes.” He lets go of her and takes her hand. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah.”

The food is amazing, it always was and Emily enjoyed every second of it. They talked easily, they always had and in between bites of steak and sips of wine they enjoyed spending time together. It had been a while since they had a whole day to just be together, to enjoy each other.

“It was so good.” She sighs happily as they walk hand in hand after dinner. The streets were busy, a Saturday night never dull in DC and Aaron keeps her close as they make their way toward the hotel.

“It really was.” He smiled and let go of her hand, only to wrap his arm around her shoulders. “Are you cold?”

“No, I’m perfect.” She smiled and let him lead the way. Once they were in the elevator she pulled him into a kiss. “This whole day has been incredible.”

“Good.” He stamped another kiss to her lips just as the elevator doors opened and they were led to a table. They ordered their drinks and as Emily looked out at the view, he couldn’t help but to marvel at just of beautiful she was, how happy she made him.

And then it hit him.

Emily wouldn’t want something grand, she hated being the center of attention and saying yes with a bunch of people around them didn’t feel right. He had been so focused on getting the day perfect, that he forgot to think about what suited them. It’s a split-second decision, but as the glasses of champagne are placed in front of them, he knows he doesn’t want to propose like this. It didn’t feel right.

But it wouldn’t stop him from enjoying this night with her.

“Cheers, sweetheart.” He picks up his flute and waits until she has too. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She feels her cheek flush from excitement, she knew that any moment he would pull out a ring. But then it didn’t happen and as Aaron paid the bill a couple of hours later she was feeling embarrassed that she had even thought that he would propose.

She didn’t want to show her disappointment, didn’t want him to think that she hadn’t enjoyed their day or that she didn’t appreciate the effort he had put into it, because she did. Still, she was painfully reminded that her ring finger was empty when he took her hand as they waited for a cab.

“Are you okay sweetheart?” Aaron asked, she had gotten quieter, her smile seeming a little less bright as they were heading home.

“I’m alright, just a little tired I guess.” She leaned her head on his shoulder for a couple of seconds before a car rolled up and they got in.

“Are you sure?” He asked as they started to drive off and she nodded, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“I’m sure honey.”

But her mood doesn’t go back to how happy she had been, in fact she seemed sad. It doesn’t take Aaron long to figure out why, he realized that she had probably figured out his plan sometime during the day and he refused to have their day end on anything else but a high.

“How about some tea?” He asked as they walk through the door and she nods.

“Yeah that sounds good, just let me get changed.” She quickly goes to change and remove her makeup and while she does, Aaron gets changed too and puts the kettle on. He pours the water once it’s done and grabs the tea bags. He sets the mugs down on the coffee table, then grabs a rose from the bouquet and places that and the ring box next to her mug. She comes out just as he sits down, face free of makeup, her hair in a messy ponytail and of his shirts on her body.

“Thank you.” She mumbles and takes the mug as she sits close to him, her hand resting on his thigh.

“You’re welcome sweetheart.” He smiles at how she doesn’t see it at first, is actually surprised at just how long it takes her to notice the box on the table in front of her. But when she does, her whole body tenses.

“Is that…?” She looks from the box to him and back and slowly reaches for it. When she opens the box it still takes her a couple of seconds before she gasps. “Aaron are you kidding me?!” She starts to laugh, unable to control it in the midst of everything she’s feeling. “I waited all night and you chose now to ask me?!”

“Yes,” He takes the box from her and takes the ring out as he faces her. “I had today planned out, but I realized that having this moment with you, alone, would be even more special than anything else.” When he looks into her eyes they’re shining with tears and he can feel his own emotions starting to get the best of him.

“Emily, will you marry me?” His voice shakes slightly, thick with emotions and she’s nodding before he’s even finished his sentence.

“Yes, of course I will.” She swallows down a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh and when he places the ring on her finger she barely waits until it’s on before she lunges herself at him, kissing him deeply.

“How do you think it’s going? Should we call them?” Penelope asks, close to vibrating in place as she sits next to Spencer on JJ’s couch.

“No, we are not calling them.” Dave stares the blonde down who pouts.

“What if she said no?” Derek teases and JJ immediately hits him on the shoulder hard enough for him to wince. “I was kidding, easy!

“They might not even tell us until Monday.” Spencer shrugs and then avoids the pillow Penelope throws at him.

“I made him promise to text-”

The sudden ding of five phones going off at the same time interrupts her and all of them quickly looks at their phones. The cheers around the room are almost loud enough to wake up Henry when they see the text message with the attached photo of Emily holding her hand up, showing off the ring.

Aaron: She said yes!

#hotchniss #hotchniss fanfiction #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #hotch x emily #aaron x emily #criminal minds fanfiction

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hotchs-bitch · 2 years

Text

Autograph

Summary: Aaron loves you in a way you've never been loved before, and you never want it to end

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x blank slate Fem!Reader (no use of y/n)

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: fluff, case study brain because I'm ill, mentions of sex but nothing explicit, allusion to proposal, possessive!hotch

A/N: big big shoutout to @honeybrowne for 1) inspiring me to write this and 2) betaing (see: validating) it. You are the best <33 Find it on ao3 here, or under the cut!

Happy reading <3

I'd change your autograph

I'd put my name on you

And I'd put big gold ring on your left hand

So everybody knew

That I'm the lucky one

At work, you know that your partner deals with all kinds of psychopaths. Abusive boyfriends, men who have scratched their initials into their victims, and more scenarios that he certainly keeps to himself.

You prefer it that way; Aaron is a possessive man sometimes, and you don’t want to draw any sort of association between him and the criminals he hunts. He’s a good man in both intention and action, and he always has been.

When he’s possessive, it’s in a good way. It’s an arm around your waist at company parties when some FBI hotshot eyes the swell of your breasts in a dress. It’s a hand holding yours in public, or an arm offered before you walk up a flight of stairs together.

It’s in your sex life, the way Aaron groans louder than ever whenever you say, “I’m yours,” and the way he fills you up with grunts of “Mine,” spilling from his lips into yours.

You’re your own person, and you both know that. You and Aaron are mature, developed adults who are well past your years of thinking that partnership is needed to complete you.

The fact that he does complete you, makes you another person- a better person- beyond yourself is really just a bonus, at this stage in your life. His possession just proves it.

He worships you, calls you late at night from hotel rooms strewn across the country, showers you with attention whenever he’s home. He respects you, supports your career, and makes every decision with you instead of for you. The two of you look at houses together, discuss the future together, and you know that your opinion is just as valued as his- if not more.

So when he gets possessive, you don’t mind. You’ve encouraged it once or twice, flirting at the bar with a stranger before Aaron returns back from the bathroom just so you can feel arms encircling your waist and a kiss to your ear, followed by “Who’s your new friend, sweetheart?”

He doesn’t possess you like he wants everyone to know that you belong to him. He possesses you as though you already do, and that anyone else in the world is at fault for not seeing how head over heels the two of you are for each other.

It’s protective, in a way. Sure, you could always stand up for yourself when you get catcalled walking down the street. But the sight of Aaron striding towards a parked car, knocking on the cracked-open window, and saying “Want to try that again?” with his badge clipped to his suit isn’t an image you’ll grow tired of anything soon.

Aaron possesses you like something more cherished and loved than a trophy, like something he can’t believe is his. He doesn’t hide you away from the world, plastered in ‘for your eyes only’ signs. He shows you off, kisses you in public, and he’ll smirk at everyone in the place- especially anyone who’s tried to flirt with either of you, women and men alike on occasion- when you inevitably pull him towards the door with both hands in his towards the end of the night. It doesn’t matter what moves they try, or how flirty they are. He goes home with you, and it’ll never be any other way.

You’re his, in every way except legally. The two of you belong together, you belong to each other. It’s an intertwinement of souls, if you’re trying to get poetic about it; you make each other better, celebrating on the good days and uplifting on the bad. You’re two whole people, combining to form some deity of love beyond what you could ever be alone. Two hearts forming one massive one, instead of two halves of the same heart.

You know how lucky you are to have him, to have this side of him. When you’d first started dating and met his team, you heard joke after joke about what a hardass he could be, and Derek had even wished you luck in drawing a smile out of him.

It’s hard for you to picture Aaron’s face painted with anything less than a broad grin.

He’s told you time and time again that you make him better; a better man, a better person, a better partner than he thought he could be. The crumbling of his first marriage, months after he joined the FBI, has certainly played into those insecurities.

You’ve always been up for the task of reminding him that you’re the lucky one; particularly because to you, it isn’t a task at all. You’ll do any work, say anything he needs to hear, in order to break down those walls of fear and resentment he’d built up over the years before meeting you.

The progress that the two of you have made has been astounding, to say the least. Still, sometimes during a late dinner or while watching TV you’ll ask him what he’s thinking about, and he’ll mumble, “Not sure how I got so lucky.”

No matter how many times you echo the sentiment for yourself, he’s never stopped saying it.

————

You’ve talked about the future before. You’ve discussed houses, career changes, and even whether you want to have kids, but you’ve never broached the subject of marriage.

It’s Aaron who brings it up first, of course. It’s nice to think that you’ve added to his confidence, but the truth is that he just feels comfortable approaching you about anything; there’s no credit to take, and you wouldn’t take it even if he tried to give it to you.

“What are you doing?” He asks as a greeting when he gets home, pressing a kiss to your temple as he passes by the kitchen table. His gun is set in the safe, and his briefcase is stowed out of sight; work is left at the office.

“That new car I’m buying,” you answer, half-distracted. You’re not focused enough to keep your attention on signing the stack of papers in front of you, and you catch him by the tie and pull him down for a proper kiss when he moves to pass you again. “Mm. They’ve got me signing away my life, here. My hand is going to cramp up soon. How was your day?”

Aaron grabs you a glass of water, setting it down in front of you. “Poor girl. You should invest in a new pen,” he suggests, watching the inkflow falter when you sign yet another page. “It was alright. Dave has Morgan and I going over to watch the game. I’d rather stay home, but he’s got a flatscreen.”

“At this point, I might just invest in a stamp with my autograph on it.” You sigh dramatically for comedic effect, and he chuckles. “It might not be as legal, but it would be easier. When are you leaving?”

“Right away. I’ve been called on to pick up pizza and beer.” Aaron pulls his suit jacket off, replacing it with a brown fleece quarter-zip overtop of his dress shirt. The white collar peeks out of the top, teasing you until he tucks it back under the fleece. “I wouldn’t go for a stamp, by the way. That’s a waste of an investment.”

“Because it’s illegal? Ugh, I knew it,” you groan, and Aaron laughs again while he digs for his car keys in the pocket of his suit jacket.

“I’m not going to speak on the legality. That’s between you and the car dealership,” he advises. “But I’m going to change your autograph, and I’ll do it long before that stamp runs out of ink.”

Your eyes widen a fraction; that’s not what you were expecting to hear, but it’s not unwelcome. “Oh. So, uh, I’ll stick to pens, then.” Your voice is hopefully more level to his ears than it is to yours, but he doesn’t seem to notice the twitch of your lips fighting a smile.

“I’ll bring you some of the good pens from work, if you remind me tomorrow. I’ll see you later, sweetheart. I love you.” He leans down to kiss you again, soft and sweet and smiling into it.

“Love you too,” you murmur when he breaks away. “Drive safe, root hard, whatever you men do at games. Call me if you need a ride, okay?”

Aaron promises to do so and leaves with another little smile in your direction. The door shuts behind him, and your own face breaks into a grin. It feels like another door has been opened, and you can’t wait to see what’s behind it.

—————

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the-guilty-writer · 2 years

Text

How Do You Seal A Deal?

Agent Rossi-Reid

Anthology Masterlist

David Rossi x daughter!reader, Spencer Reid x reader, Criminal minds x BAU!reader

Summary: Spencer and RR go on their first date.

A/N: I have very little experience writing romance and this was my first time writing a first date fic. I'm excited to see what you all think of it!

CW: Spencer wears glasses, fluff

---

You had to admit that you were shocked when Spencer asked you on a date.

Not because you didn’t like him (you did), or because you thought he didn’t have the guts to do it (this one was questionable), but because you truly weren’t expecting him to ask you.

You’d honestly thought that if Spencer was going to ask anyone out it would have been JJ, because… well… JJ was everything you weren’t; great with everyone she met, gentle but firm, and she had a solid place on the team. All of you relied on JJ for case reports and communication with people outside of the bureau.

But the team could survive without you.

You pushed the thought to the back of your mind, slipping on a casual dress before grabbing your bag and heading out the door. You were meeting Spencer at a local park, in between where the both of you lived. This wouldn’t be your first time going out with Spencer, but it would be your first time going out with Spencer alone and outside of any work-related function.

There was usually a buffer between the two of you- Morgan or Hotch when you were out with the team, or the stacks and stacks of paper and files from cases. You wondered what it would be like without the buffer, with just the two of you and no safety net to catch you if you happened to fall.

You spotted Spencer, sitting on a bench under a tree. He had a pocket-sized book in his hands. He looked less tense than he usually did at work. Maybe it was the cardigan that fit him nicer than his oversized button downs and sweaters, or how he sat back against the bench instead of hunched like he did at his desk. But the thing that caught your eye was the glasses.

“I didn’t know you wore glasses,” you said as you approached him.

Spencer quickly looked up, putting his book away and standing, his posture becoming a bit taut. “Oh, yeah,” he said. “I don’t technically need them, but if I’m going to be reading a lot-”

“So we’re going to be reading a lot?” You couldn’t help but let the profiler in you come out.

“Is-is that okay?” Spencer sputtered, his eyes wide and puppy-like. “I have a back up plan if you-”

“Spencer,” you stopped him from rambling and smiled at him gently. “I’m sure whatever you have planned is great.”

Spencer seemed to relax a little at that, grinning rather sheepishly. “You wanna get going then?”

You smiled. “Absolutely.”

---

“We’re almost there,” Spencer said as the two of you turned the corner. Somewhere along the way, you began to guess where he was taking you out-loud. Having lived in the DC area your entire life, you’d been to every museum, art gallery, monument, and store that the nations capital had to offer, but even as you got closer and closer to the location, you couldn’t narrow it down.

“The Daily Coffee Archive?” you guessed. All you knew was that the place involved reading, so a cafe that used newspapers for their wallpaper should count… right?

“Nope.”

“I give up,” you admitted.

“You never give up,” Spencer said. The comment was casual, but your breath still caught in your throat when he said it. For years your extreme determination had been something people often looked down on you for, but when Spencer said it, it was as if he wanted you to continue to push forward. “I think we have time for one more guess.”

You shook your head. “I really don’t know.”

Spencer stopped before the next turn and looked down at you. There was an excitement behind his eyes, but it was covered by a slight concern. “Will you try?”

You couldn’t say no to him. You looked around at the location- you’d walked down the street here many times before, but not nearly as often as other parts of town. It wasn’t nearly as busy as the main ways, but busy enough that it felt safe. You looked up and down at the signs on the buildings, but none of them stuck out to you as somewhere Spencer would be attracted to.

“A bookstore?” you threw out a general answer.

Spencer grinned. “Yeah, a bookstore.”

You smiled back. He wanted you to succeed. He didn’t let up until you did.

“It’s this way,” he said.

You let him guide you down a side-street full of small shops- most of them had signs in languages you recognized, but couldn’t read- and you wondered how Spencer had ever found this place at all. It looked like a little slice of Europe in the middle of DC.

He stopped at the entrance to a store called INGRID’S LIBRARY and opened the door for you. Carefully, you stepped through the doorway, looking around. The store was cozy, all floor to ceiling shelves and heavy furniture. The bookshelves were heavily packed, each of them labeled with a different European language.

“Doctor Reid!” an older woman called from behind the counter as Spencer stepped into the shop behind you. “You’ve brought a friend.”

“Hello, Mrs. Holt,” Spencer greeted her. “This is my friend, (Y/N) Rossi. And (Y/N), this is Ms. Ingrid Holt.”

“Oh please,” the lady started. You couldn’t quite pinpoint her accent… was it Dutch or Swedish? “Just call me Ingrid.”

“Your shop is beautiful,” you told her, still looking around in slight awe. “Are these all in the original language?”

“They are,” she said proudly. A bell went off. “Oh! My delivery just came in. The Italian section is in the second room. Help yourself to some tea upstairs.” She winked and gestured to the open doorway which led to the second part of the store before disappearing into a back room.

You turned to Spencer. “Do you mind if I take a look?”

“Go ahead!” You could tell he was trying to contain his own excitement.

He followed you to the second room of the store where you quickly found the bookshelf designated for Italian works of literature. There were all sorts of titles- everything from Pinoccio to The Silent Duchess. You ran your hands carefully over the spines, entranced by the works of literature in your family’s language.

“This is incredible,” you nearly whispered the words, too amazed to say them louder. “How did you find this place?”

“When I first moved here I was trying to find a book. This was the only store in DC that had it.”

“Well, I’m glad they did.”

Spencer nodded a bit and looked down in response, his hands stuffed in his pockets. You looked at the shelves, eyes scanning the store, when Spencer cleared his throat. It was something you noticed he did often, particularly when he was nervous, but you still turned to look at him.

His tawny eyes were wide. “I- um,” he stuttered, then cleared his throat again. “Will you read to me?”

Your heart paused in your chest and heat rose in your cheeks. “Oh-of course.” You wished you could cover the shock in your words and on your face, but you couldn’t. Not when someone like Spencer Reid asked you for something like that. “But, haven’t you already read the translations?”

“I have, but there’s something different about listening to it... and it's even better in the original language,” he said shyly.

“Then… which one?” You wanted to look at the books, but you were too busy admiring the man in front of you. He looked like the muse for a piece of art, with the books in the background and the glasses that perched on his button nose. The shape of his features were too soft to be properly portrayed by carving them in marble, but too sharp to be captured by oil paint. Truly, you didn’t even think a photograph would do him justice.

“I want you to pick,” he said. “I think what book a person picks can tell you a lot about them.”

You nodded and pulled your gaze away to scan the shelves, looking for something suitable. When your eyes landed on Orlando innamorato, it was an easy choice. Not because you liked the epic, but because poetry was the only art form you thought could capture Spencer’s beauty.

“Are you trying to impress me?” he asked as you pulled the book from the shelf.

You shook your head. “No. Why?” It was only half a lie.

“My… my mom was a professor of 15th century literature,” he said it like a confession, causing you to tighten in a slight panic.

“I can pick something else-”

“No.” He shook his head. “I never bothered to pick that one up. I don’t know much about the story to be completely honest.”

You paused. He could have been lying, but none of his tells showed through. “I guess it doesn’t tell you much about me, then. To you at least.”

“I guess not,” Spencer chuckled.

“I don’t know anything about Russian,” your boldness was beginning to show through just a little, “so will you read me something that won’t tell me much about you?”

You’d noticed early on that asking Spencer to do things that only he could do brought out his confidence, but you were still a little surprised at how he didn’t stutter or sound hesitant as he said “Yes.”

---

“You know that you’re supposed to buy books at a bookstore, right?” you asked Spencer as he walked you towards your apartment building.

Ingrid had been so kind as to let the two of you stay far past the normal hours; by the time you left the angle of the sun was causing shadows to become longer and leaner with every passing second. You hadn’t even realized how long the two of you had spent in the cozy attic space of the store- with plush couches and chairs, herbal tea, and the sound of Spencer’s voice as he read The Master and Margarita out loud it was all too easy to lose track of time.

“I know,” Spencer said. “Since I read so much and my apartment can only hold so many books, Ingrid and I have a deal.”

“A deal?” You raised your eyebrows in suspicion as you got to the door of your building.

“A deal,” Spencer repeated.

“You know what they say about deals.”

“What do they say about deals?” he asked.

You turned to face him and quickly noticed how close the two of you were. Spencer was known to like his space. He didn’t shake hands, or share food, and he had a tendency to stand a bit farther away from people. Throughout your date, you and Spencer didn’t touch- not even the innocent brush of fingertips or shoulders. You sat in separate chairs in the attic. It was something you were prepared for and something you were okay with, so the sudden close proximity surprised you.

Spencer looked at you with a slight fear in his eyes, but the hope in them was stronger. Blood rushed to your face. Your lips parted slightly in surprise and you thought the sound of your heartbeat must have been audible to the entire DC area. The feeling rushed to your head, causing you to lose your train of thought almost entirely.

“You tell me.” The words came out as less than a whisper and more as a breath.

Spencer swallowed. “S-some people seal them with a handshake.”

“By the estimated number of pathogens passed between hand-to-hand contact,” you recited the words exactly as he had said them to you before, “it’s actually considered safer to kiss.”

The next few seconds happened in a blur of emotions. You weren’t sure who was the first to initiate contact- whether your hands found his sides first, or he gently cupped your face before that. You didn’t know if he pulled you against him, or if you had leaned closer. You had no idea if you were kissing Spencer, or if Spencer was kissing you.

But it didn't really matter, because on either end the favor was returned- and that you were sure of.

His lips were soft against yours, slightly unsure at first, but steady by the end. There was nothing about the physical action that was consuming, and yet you felt like you were being devoured by the moment. The kiss wasn't bruising, but it left a mark- a singular spot in your heart that longed to grow.

For only a moment, you let yourself be brave and it was rewarded. The taste of tea lingered on the tip of tongues, just enough to remind you of where you had been and intriguing you to want to know more… but that was the thing about Spencer, wasn’t it? Something about him always made you want to know more.

The kiss ended just as gently as it began, but this time you were determined to slow down the blur so you could remember every part of it- the serenity of sharing breath, if only for a few moments, and the glimpse of Spencer’s softly lidded eyes as you both studied one another. Goosebumps rose on your skin as he pulled his hands away from your face, cold air hitting the place where his palms had rested. The shock was just enough for you to loose focus for a milisecond and once you gained it back there was space between the two of you again- physically closer than normal, but feeling farther away than before.

“We never made a deal,” Spencer broke the silence between the two of you. You felt the gentle brush of his hand against yours- fingertips resting on fingertips.

You looked from where your hands were touching, up to his face. The hope and fear was gone- all of it replaced by a factual look, but not one you had seen before. Usually when Spencer looked factual it was about statistics or proven theories. Right then it looked like a sureness in the existence of God.

You smiled slowly- just letting the corners of your mouth come up at the corners, lips still parted in a slight wonder. “Well,” you said. “How do you feel about the deal to go on another date?”

Spencer smiled at this too. “It’s a deal,” he said. You followed his gaze down to where your hands were still touching. “We could take it a step further and seal it with a handshake.”

You let out a breathy giggle. “Or you could kiss me again.”

Spencer didn’t waste any time pressing his smiling lips to yours for only a second. The ease of it made it feel like the two of you had known one another- been with one another- for years. It was comforting.

“There,” he said. “The deal is sealed.”

---

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emberfrostlovesloki · 8 months

Text

Space-Time Continuum [Hotch x Reader]

Photo credits: Left (@everydayschristmas) Center (@masterwords) Right (@happyheidi)

Prompt: Aaron and the reader take down the last of the Christmas decorations. As they work and spend a relaxing afternoon together, Aaron realizes he wants to ask the reader to move in with him and Jack.

Pairing: [established relationship] Aaron x fem!Non-BAU!reader. The reader uses she her pronouns

Category: fluff/comfort

Word Count: 4.4K

Content Warnings: mention of Haley’s passing, implied intimacy. If I missed any, please let me know.

A/N: Hi loves! Here is another fic based on the amazing @imagining-in-the-margins January/February Writing Challenge about New Beginnings. This story is inspired by the dialog prompt: “The time will pass anyway.” This is pure domestic fluff. I can just imagine Aaron looking forward to asking you to move in with him. I hope this story warms you up as winter keeps wintering. If you like this story, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated. If you’re starting school (uni) next week, or you're already back, just know I’m proud of you! Love Levi - ❤️

List with all stories

_y/n_ = your name

_y/f/c/b_ = your favorite caffeinated beverage

_y/f/c_ -= your favorite color

_y/f/s_ = your favorite scent

_t/c_ = tea or coffee

_y/f/c/b_ = your favorite caffeinated beverage

_y/f/p/b/s_= your favorite perfume or body spray

_u/sf/d_= up, straight forward, or down (depending on your height)

_f/b/c/m/m_ = your favorite book, coming, manga, magazine

_y/n_ woke up warm. Aaron had his arms wrapped around her and he was already half awake. He murmured, “Moring.” _y/n_ smiled into his chest and replied, “Good morning. Have you looked out the window yet? The weather said it might snow overnight.” Hotch shifted in the bed and sort of repositioned _y/n_ to his left side while he used his long muscled arm to pull the curtain on the window to the side. _y/n_ could have done this herself, but she wanted to bask in the warmth of Aaron’s broad chest just a moment longer. After a second Aaron said, “Well the weatherman was finally right. It snowed. Still is actually.” _y/n_ hummed to see for herself. Outside small flurries gently fell from the side and to the frozen pavement three floors down from Hotch’s apartment. It looked like about five inches had fallen overnight. _y/n_ was very grateful that it was the weekend and that she and Hotch could sleep in for a bit longer. They could also let Jack sleep in too. When _y/n_ and Aaron had gotten serious, Hotch’s son had taken to _y/n_ quickly. Over time when she started staying over more often, not just on the weekends, she’d started getting Jack ready for school if Hotch was rushed to get to the office for a case. Then _y/n_ dropped Jack off at school for the first time and they’d sung songs in the car on the way there. Aaron was so relieved that Jack and his partner had bonded. It warmed his heart that _y/n_ loved his son so much. Even though _y/n_ was younger than him, _y/n_ had great parental instincts and often spoke to Jack when he threw a fit or got into trouble as well as he would. _y/n_ was very good at putting difficult concepts into understandable, neat packages. It was one of the things Hotch loved about her. If they had a fight, or needed to talk, he always had her full attention, and if she didn’t understand where he was coming from, she tried to see it from his shoes. That was something he’d never been great at in his personal life. After a moment of quiet, _y/n_ sat up and asked, “So, what are the plans for today? I hope they don’t involve a lot of going outside.” Hotch chuckled, knowing that _y/n_ didn’t love dealing with the cold and snow. Aaron stretched giving _y/n_ a small peak of his stomach and elastic of his briefs for a second. Aaron cleared his throat and said, “Well I need to shower first. But one thing that’s been on the list forever is taking down the Christmas tree and decorations. It feels overdue.” _y/n_ nodded. The tree had been up for some time after the holidays. Neither of them had had time with the return to work bustle. Then Hotch had been sent to cases back to back and had been too exhausted to think about it last week. But not that he was rested it felt like as good a time as any. _y/n_ nodded and said, “Sounds good. We can figure the rest out as we go. I’ll change, start breakfast, and get Jack up while you shower, okay?” Aaron smiled and replied, “Sounds great, _y/n_.”

Under the hot water, Hotch lathered his body with soap. As the foamy lather rinsed off his body and down the drain, he contemplated how relaxed _y/n_ could be. He appreciated that she didn’t have to have every second planned. He’d had to do that more at work recently. There had been a threat to national safety and the team had made it in time, but Strauss was still slightly unimpressed with how long it had taken the BAU to take down the threat. He had started seeing things in timed chunks and thinking about efficiency, even in his personal life. He didn’t enjoy the feeling. But _y/n_ was a reminder that it didn’t have to be that way at home. It was doubly admirable because _y/n_ had stress in her life too. Stress with family, and work, and friend, and her crappy apartment that was literally falling apart. It wasn’t the same kind of stress he faced, but it was still stressful, and Aaron admired her ability to put those things aside and still see life with optimism and happiness. After a few more minutes under the flow of water, Hotch turned off the tap and stepped out of the shower. He dried off and wrapped a towel around his waist. He moved over to the sink to wash his face and brush his teeth.

_y/n_ heard the shower start running as she quickly made the bed. She made sure the sheets and comforter were neat and tucked in at the corners. She then moved to Aaron’s closet and grabbed a comfy outfit for the day. She settled for some soft leggings and a _y/f/c_ shirt that she layered under a knit cardigan. As _y/n_ pulled through her clothes in the walk-in closet, she realized how much of her stuff had migrated to Aaron’s. At least half of her wardrobe now resided in Hotch’s space. It had been a slow transition, but once Aaron had bought her favorite _y/f/s_ed body wash, hairspray, and sanctuary products, it was pretty much an invitation for her to start getting more comfortable in his space. And boy was his space more comfortable than her leaky, small, cold, old apartment much farther from her job than Aaron’s. _y/n_ smiled knowing she was so welcome here. Even if she didn’t get to spend as much time with Aaron and Jack as she liked, when she was here, it felt just like home. With her outfit on, _y/n_ moved to the kitchen and started making the batter for some pancakes, eggs, and bacon. She woke Jack, and then Aaron joined them and they had a relaxed morning. Jack watched some cartoons, and _y/n_ and Hotch worked on a puzzle from Rossi from Christmas. In the early afternoon, they all started to work on taking down the tree. Aaron got the boxes from the closet and they all set to work.

After an hour of work, Jack gave Aaron his biggest puppy dog eyes possible, and after a minute, Hotch said, “Alright Jack, what do you want?” Jack’s face burst into a smile, and the little boy replied, “Hot chocolate!” Hotch sighed. It was still cold enough out for a sweet cup of cocoa and it wasn’t too late for his son to have one more small sugar rush before naptime. With a fake look of defeat, Aaron said, “Well alright, but just a small cup. I can’t have you bouncing off the walls while we’re all trying to take down the Christmas decorations. Isn’t that right, _y/n?_"_y/n_ nodded with mock seriousness saying, “Of course. Dad’s right. Remember when you ate all of your Halloween candy two months ago? You couldn’t sleep and then you couldn’t wake up for school the next day?” Jack’s face took on a little frown, as he nodded yes. Aaron’s eyes moved over to _y/n_’s, and he gave her a smile that was just meant for her. Hotch got up from his seated position and said, “Let me see if we have the stuff to make it here.” Hearing this, _y/n_’s ears perked up, and she said, “Oh. We do. Or we did, but I used the last of the milk in my afternoon _t/c_. Sorry, Aaron. I forgot to put it on the list. I was going to run to the store later tonight to get stuff for dinner. Hotch didn’t mind and said, “You don’t have to apologize, _y/n_. I’ll just run to the coffee shop on the corner. Do you want anything?” _y/n_ grinned at his consideration and said, “No. I think drinking _y/f/c/b_ right now would have more than just Jack bouncing off the walls.” Aaron chuckled and said, “Alright. Well if you change your mind, you can text me.” _y/n_ nodded and tipped her head up and back, as he stood behind her and leaned down to kiss her on the forehead. He then moved to his son, ruffled his short dirty blond hair that always reminded him of Haley’s. When Hotch was at the door, _y/n_ called out in a clear voice, “Be safe on the roads. I’m not sure they’re all done thawing, even with the sun coming out.” Hotch replied, “You got it,” and then slipped out of the door.

_y/n_ listened as Aaron grabbed his keys from the stand on the kitchen counter, then as the door swung open and clicked closed. Now that Hotch was gone, _y/n_ moved to the space where he’d been next to Jack. She could feel his residual body heat on the carpet, and it comforted _y/n_ to no end. Jack was reaching for an ornament above a level that his arms could grasp. Without saying anything, _y/n_ got up and picked the boy, so he could reach the ornament. It took a moment for _y/n_ to realize that Jack was crying now fully. _y/n_ set him down, got on her knees in front of him, and wiped away one of the tears coming from his eyes. _y/n_ hadn’t expected this and asked, “What’s the matter, Jack? Why are you crying, sweetheart?” Jack sniffled and said, “I don’t want Christmas to end. I don’t want to go back to school. I don’t want you to leave.” As _y/n_ processed the emotions Jack was feeling, Jack continued in a voice obscured by a small hiccupy cry, “Why can’t everything just stay the same? Why can’t it be Christmas all the time?” _y/n_ didn’t fully understand where the core of these feelings were coming from, but she could agree with the sentiment. The week of Christmas had been so nice because they’d all just got to hang out and be together. The stress of work and the often boring tasks of cleaning the dishes or taking out the trash seemed so much less terrible when they were happening with Aaron and Jack. Sure, part of that was that she and Hotch shared the tasks and split things between them, but it was more than that. Just being with Aaron made life better. The small things felt alright when she was near him. It wasn't that she tried to hide anymore. In the early days of their relationship, _y/n_ had feared that the simple joy of being near Aaron would scare him away. After all, he was an intense man, but as it turned out, under all the suits and his tough exterior, he needed someone who cared for him as much as _y/n_ needed him back. Now, in front of Jack, _y/n_ tried to think about the right thing to say. She thought about her own experience first. The feeling of being jerked around sometimes with Aaron’s inconsistent schedule, and the constant danger he was in didn’t help either. _y/n_ didn’t talk about that often. What good would it do? She had slowly become content with praying or wishing him a safe return when Hotch told her he was heading on on a case. If it was hard for her, then it must be much harder for Jack, who couldn’t fully understand exactly what his dad really did. Not yet at least. Add onto that the fact that Jack had been in the house while Haley died. One hour his mom had been alive, and another, she was gone. _y/n_’s heart ached for Jack, as she said in a soft, reassuring voice, “That seems nice, Jack. I think I’d like that too. But that’s not how life works.” Jack sniffled and said in an angry voice, “Why can’t it? Why can’t it be nice all the time?” _y/n_ took the ornament from Jack’s small hands and quickly put it away before taking his hands in hers. She replied, “Because time, as mean as it can seem, knows what’s best for us.” Jack had such big eyes as he asked, “How? How is it good that we can’t have it be nice all the time?” _y/n_ bit the inside of her cheek and tried to think of an appropriate and understandable way to talk about the need for balance in life.

With a small breath, _y/n_ realized that she could use his candy incident as an example. _y/n_ cleared her throat and said, “Well, think about Halloween. Did you think you were going to like having all of your candy in one night?” Hesitantly, Jack nodded yes. _y/n_ replied, “Good. Do you think you’ll do that again next year?” The little boy shook his head, no, and _y/n_ smiled at how hard he nodded. _y/n_ ran her sleeve under his nose that was dripping and said, “Sometimes life is like that too. It sounds fun to have Christmas, Thanksgiving, and your birthday all back to back. It might even seem nice to have that happen forever. But once we have it a lot, or too much, the thing doesn’t taste or feel very good anymore. It just turned into another day or toy or sweet. But, if you just let time pass, then you get these really special pockets that mean a lot. Not that every day isn’t special, just that it’s good to have some normal ones too. Does that make sense buddy?” Jack stood still for a moment while he processed what _y/n_ had said. After a few seconds, he said, “I guess so. I just wish it didn’t take so long.” _y/n_ waited to say anything because she felt that Jack would say something more, and he did in a voice just above a whisper, “Mommy really loved Christmas too.” _y/n_ nodded and blinked back tears. She didn’t want to seem sad in front of him and make him cry again. _y/n_ leaned forward, taking him in her arms, and said softly in his ear, “I bet she did. I bet they were the best Christmases ever, but just because we’re taking the decorations down doesn’t mean you have to forget her. We can remember your mom every single day. Just like your mom loved you every single day.” _y/n_ could feel Jack nod against her shoulder. When _y/n_ pulled back, she asked Jack, “How about I pick you up and we get the last of these ornaments? Maybe you could tell me about some of the happy memories you have with your mom during Christmas?” Jack agreed, and _y/n_ helped him onto her shoulders and let him talk and remember. By the time Aaron got back, Jack was happy and animated again. Hotch walked into the room and smiled at the scene before him. The sight of _y/n_ and his son in the light of the Christmas lights still on the tree. Jack ran over to him and hugged his legs like he’d missed him a lot. Hotch smiled and said, “Your hot chocolates on the table Jack. Why don’t you drink it in the kitchen?” Jack smiled and said, “Sure Daddy.” The child let go of his father and moved into the kitchen on excited legs. _y/n_ who was still standing stepped toward him and kissed him softly. His mouth was still cold from being outside. His lips were slightly chapped, but _y/n_ didn’t care as she warmed them with her mouth. When they pulled away, Aaron reveled in the scent of _y/f/p/b/s_. He said, “Sorry I was so long. The light was out on the corner and there was a line almost out the door at the shop. _y/n_ smiled and said, “It’s alright. Jack and I had a good conversation.” Aaron raised an eyebrow and set his arm around _y/n_’s lower back. He noticed that all of the ornaments were off the tree and said, “How about we tackle the lights? I can take the bottom strand and you take the middle?” _y/n_ agreed and they set to work.

Hotch sat down with a small grunt. They could hear Jack from the other room pull out his chair and sit at the table. _y/n_ and Aaron would go to check in with him in a minute, but Aaron wanted to take just a minute alone with _y/n_. These moments were rare these days with their busy schedules. Aaron started unspooling the lights around the bottom of the tree. He looked over at _y/n_ and asked, “So? What did you and Jack talk about while I was gone?” _y/n_ gave him a little grin and said, “Oh you know, just the inevitable, unstoppable march of time. I don’t think you’d understand it. It’s adult stuff.” Hotch, chuckled, the sound came deep from his core and reverberated up his chest. He shifted around _y/n_ to continue removing the lights and said, “Well I’m willing to learn, _y/n_. If you’ll teach me?” _y/n_ smile grew. She loved it when Aaron played the bit. Hotch being more than a few years older than her had worried _y/n_ for a while. They wondered if the differences in culture and knowledge would make them an unequal couple. A couple set up from scrutiny. But, as it turned out, age was just a number when you were both that in love with each other. Out in public, they did get a few stares, but Aaron’s practiced glare worked well on everybody, so _y/n_ didn’t worry. Over time, _y/n_ had started joking about their age gap much to Hotch’s amusement, like they were doing right now. _y/n_ cleared her throat and said in a mock educational tone, “Well, I told Jack that you can’t have all the nice things at once. You kind of have to spread them out so they become more enjoyable. Life gives us lots of nice things, but an equal amount of mundane things. So the highs and the lows feel big, and we need to enjoy them and understand them as much as we can.” Aaron let out a breath. He loved the way _y/n_ spoke about everything. Condensing ideas into little ways of understanding like he did with information in a case. Even if it was just silly banter, Aaron loved it. He loved all of _y/n_ and a realization he’d been contemplating for some time now, clicked.

Gently he said, “Well that was quite an analysis. Thank you. I think I understand the space-time continuum much more clearly now.” _y/n_’s clear laugh washed over him like a shooting star. He stopped with the light strand and said, “Mind if I add to your lecture?” _y/n_’s eyes glistened as she nodded yes. Without overthinking it like he did most things in his life, Aaron said, “Yes, it’s important to highlight the big things. The weddings, birthdays and holidays. But there’s pleasure in the small things too. Seconds make up minutes, which make up days that go on and on forever. We only have so much time in those moments. So who you spend them with becomes pretty important if you think about it in that context. Who do you share that time with.” _y/n_ looked at Aaron with wide eyes. They wondered if this was happening right now, in early January. _y/n_ wanted to be at eye level with Aaron and sat next to him. _y/n_ asked, “What are you saying, Hotch?” _y/n_ needed to hear it from him, to know they weren't making this up. It was important because as relaxed as _y/n_ was on time, she did value knowing where their relationship was going. And Aaron had agreed that they should move in together before progressing to a thing like a proposal. But moving in was the next big step for them. Aaron took in her beautiful curious face. He pondered how _y/n_ never could keep her emotions at bay. How honest _y/n_ was without even having to try. He smiled and said, “I want you to move in with me, _y/n_. When the time is right and you're comfortable with it, I’d like you to live with Jack and me. I want to spend all my time when I’m not working with both of you. Does that sound good to you?” _y/n_’s face lit up and she had to stop herself from laughing because Aaron looked so serious, and _y/n_ felt like she was swimming in a tub of serotonin. _y/n_ pulled Hotch to his knees and into a tight hug. _y/n_ looked _u/sf/d_ at the love of her life and said, “Of course, I’ll move in with you both, Aaron. When I’m here, I’m home. I’ve felt that way for about a year, but this makes it official. Aaron Hotchner, I feel more at home here than I’ve ever felt in my whole life.” All Aaron could do at hearing _y/n_ say something so special was to kiss her forehead and say, “You make this house a home, _y/n_. You have no idea how much joy you bring here.” _y/n_ traced a hand down his shoulder and to where Aaron’s heart was steadily beating in his chest. The rhythm of the muscle kept track of each second they stood in each other's presence. The idea of being home, made _y/n_ think about Jack’s comment about her leaving, and _y/n_ said, “Speaking of Jack, he was afraid that I might go away. I think maybe we should tell him about this. I think he’ll be happy.” Aaron’s brow furrowed slightly and he repeated, “Jack thought you were going to leave.” _y/n_ brushed a hand over Aaron’s knuckles and replied, “Something like that. But I think that’s more of a long conversation we can have later. Once he’s in bed.” Aaron nodded just a tiny bit. Jack’s happy behavior and _y/n_ saying they would talk about it later allowed him to relax and believe _y/n_ was right. This conversation, whatever it was, could wait. He did want to let his son know that _y/n_ was going to be a more permanent fixture in their lives going forward.

Jack was ecstatic at hearing the news and _y/n_ pulled him into her arms and said, “I’m not going anywhere, Jack. I’ll be here for you and your dad for a long time to come. Aaron moved behind his son and embraced both of his greatest loves. That evening, after a lengthy conversation about Jack and making sure Jack felt the most secure as possible, Hotch and _y/n_ moved to bed. As Aaron stroked a hand over her naked back, her body was pressed to his under the covers. He kissed down her jaw and the ghost of stubble rubbed against _y/n_ skin. She made small contented noises, and his hand traced lazy circles over her back. Hotch asked in a bit of a husky voice, his thoughts more on the feel of _y/n_’s skin under his fingers than his statement, “Would you send me a copy of your lease tomorrow? Maybe I can find some loophole to get you over here more quickly. I want all of you here.” _y/n_ shifted up onto her elbows, giving Aaron a better look at her bare body. _y/n_ smiled and said, “Sure love. But I think even your JD is going to have a difficult time getting me out of this lease. My landlord was such a pain when I renewed for half a year instead of the full twelve months.” Aaron smiled and said, “We’ll see about that, but I think there are more pleasant things to think about right now, don’t you think.” _y/n_’s eyes gleamed with desire in the dark space as she said, “Say less.”

It wasn’t until the next weekend on Saturday that Aaron had the time to look over _y/n_’s lease. They were sitting in his office in the field office. Aaron’s long sigh had _y/n_ look up from her _f/b/c/m/m_ and say, “Is there no way out of it?” Hotch ran a hand through his hair frustratedly and said, “Apparently not. That is unless you want to pay the last two months' rent plus interest without a chance of you getting your deposit back.” _y.n_ cringed at the idea of how much money that was.” Aaron looked up at _y/n_ and she seemed disappointed, but not crushed. He said, “I was hoping to get you out of there sooner.” _y/n_ leaned closer to the desk and took his hands in hers saying, “The time will pass anyway. It’s just two months and the important thing is I have you. I couldn’t ask for anything more than that.” A smile tugged at Hotch’s lips. He appreciated how differently _y/n_ interacted with time. Aaron was used to tight timelines and all-nighters on cases. Aaron reflected again about how _y/n_ saw life. Even though she had her moments of stress or insomnia, just saw time as a thing that happened. She saw the good and the bad but chose to focus on the good when she could. Like the fact that she was moving in with him at all. She didn’t complain that she would have to wait to have that dream come true, because the dream was in front of her at all. Aaron hoped that with _y/n_ living with him, some of _y/n_’s view of life would rub off on him. He hoped to just see things as they were. To accept the good and let go of the bad, even in cases. With _y/n_ and Jack by his side, that didn’t seem so impossible after all. He’d take it a day at a time. As _y/n_ had said, “‘The time will pass anyway,’” and it was going to be wonderful to pass it with her.

______________________________________________________________

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hotchgirlsummer · 2 years

Text

love made me crazy ⤷ aaron hotchner x reader

summary ⤷ aaron hotchner is shocked upon receiving the notification that his credit card has been used for a purchase. it was a surprise considering a) he was on a case and did not use his it and b) his previous sugar baby was the one who used it, and he ends up confronting her about it.

pairing ⤷ sugardaddy!aaron hotchner x sugarbaby!female bodied!reader ; mentions of jack, haley, and beth too

warnings ⤷ SMUT. unprotected penetrative sex. oral sex(giving and receiving). sugardaddy-baby relationship. angst. fluff.

word count ⤷ 8.9k words

a/n ⤷ hello! this is my first hotch/criminal minds fic 🙈 i would love some feedback from you guys if you have the time! this took me nearly the whole month to write as life kept getting in the way.

✪

“Can you try running it again?” At this point, she wasn’t trying to hide the desperation in her voice, not when her life hangs in the balance. Well that might have been an exaggeration but that was how she felt at the moment.

This would not be an issue if you stayed with him, the nagging voice in her head continued to taunt her as she nervously tapped her foot. The teller, a man who had so much gel on his hair that it looked like it could trap a rat, sighed annoyingly as he slid her debit card once more — only to hear the shrilling sound of her card being rejected.

“This is the third time I’ve tried this card, mam. So either you pay up with a different method besides this,” He raised the card before sliding it across to return the card, “Or you let my other paying customers take a turn in line.” With his arms resting on his hips to emphasize his annoyance, she looked behind her to see that all the other customers had already been helped by the store associates.

With a slight scoff, she faced the teller who was now a bit taken aback when she realized his bluff. “Just give me a minute,” she told him as she rummaged for her wallet in her purse. Pulling out her wallet, she debated if what she was doing was right. With shaky fingers, she fished out a credit card she hasn’t used in nearly three months now. It’s fine, she convinces herself, you’ll pay him back by writing a check.

Upon seeing the black card with gold font, the teller she was dealing with bulged his eyes out — apparently in his five years of customer service this was only the second time he’s seen that card and he knew right away that only the elite, prestigious had that credit card. And it was almost like a switch had been flipped inside him as his frown was quickly replaced with a fake saccharine smile, “Is that all I can do for you today mam?”

She snapped out of her uncertainty as the cheery voice creeped her out a little; she looked down on the card and exhaled sharply as she handed over the card for him, “Yeah, let’s do that.”

As he was punching in her card details he was putting his best foot forward — afraid that his earlier poor treatment of heer might circulate her circle and bring about negative remarks about their establishment. Once the debit machine made a noise which signified that the transaction was successful, the associate slid her card back now with more grace and care as he put her items on a paper bag with the same delicacy.

“Thank you so much for shopping with us today, mam,” He said with a smile as he slid a 50% off coupon in the paper bag before handing it over to her, “We hope to see you next time.” Amused, and scorned by his switch of emotions, she just shot him a fake smile and carried her things and went out of the store. Every step she took away from the cashier, the voices of doubt and ridicule grew louder in her head. She quickly fished out her phone that by the looks of it was one more accidental fall away from being useless and sent a texted her boss:

To: le boss 🙄 If you need more shifts to be covered, i can take ‘em. Same goes for any possible on call/double shifts.

And almost as if her superior was expecting this text from her, she immediately got a revised schedule for the next month, showing her that given those hours it was extremely possible for her to repay her debt in two weeks.

Despite it being selfish — and possibly cruel, bordering inhuman — she almost wished that Aaron was out for two weeks on a case so he would not notice the money that was taken off his credit card.

✪

Aaron was unsure of how to coherently think out how he was feeling — but the best way to put it was thankfully, luck was on their side and a case that they estimated would take them at least a week was solved in three days with all victims of the UnSub located safe.

“I don’t know about you but I think we’re all overdue for a drink,” Morgan exclaimed as he flopped on one of the seats and sighed as he felt the cushion somehow do wonders and ease the tension in his back.

Scattered chuckles were what his remarks were met with; “According to Harvard Health, the three best ways to relax after a stress-filled day at work would be to either do a relaxation exercise, stretch your muscles, or do a mindfulness break.”

Though Rossi and JJ would nod in agreement at Spencer’s input, Morgan just looked at the doctor as if he spoke a foreign language. “Well luckily I wasn’t basing my choices off of Harvard but instead I base my choices off of Morgan Health.”

At that, the bomb expert was met with boos and had a crumpled up tissue paper thrown at him. But the light chuckles were quickly replaced with hushed gasps as Hotch spoke up, “There’s a bar off of 25th and Lanark if you guys are up for it.”

From their past attempts of luring their unit chief in to enjoy a night out with them has been futile; but now to hear him including himself in his agents’ post-work plans, and to organize it, sounds as if he was speaking another language.

Upon failing to hear their responses on whether they were up for it or not, he looked up from his phone with a questioning look on his features, “Are we going or not? We can always go to another place.”

“No we’re all going,” Rossi clarified as he looked around the team, bulging his eyes out to let them know that whatever their original plan was to discard it and instead to go with what their unit chief has suggested as it was rare for him to include them in his plans for the night, “Just took a while for everyone else to recall if they’ve been to that bar.”

“That settles it then,” Hotch concludes as he set his folders containing his already completed reports aside as he picked his phone up once more, eyes trained on the unexpected notification that prompted him suggest the said bar, “Once we land back in Quantico, we all can freshen up in 20 minutes before going there.”

“That gives you enough time to shine that head, Morgan,” As Prentiss teased him, the chuckles and banter of the rest of the team died down as Hotch focused on the screen stating how his credit card had been used for a purchase.

Surprise initially coloured his features — all of his recent purchases were billed to the company credit card as usual since they were out on the field — but upon further investigating the date, time, and type of purchase made, he concluded that it was his sweetheart who did so. It was around the six month mark of their little arrangement when the man made the executive decision of gifting her with a credit card that had no limits in terms of how much she can spend in a day and on how much access she had to his account.

He remembered that day clearly — as soon as she was gifted with the little plastic card, she spent the rest of her morning and afternoon shopping for outfits she knew he would appreciate. Unconsciously, the unit chief licked his lips upon remembering how they both spent the remaining of the evening, her writhing in pleasure as her body donned every single pristine garments and his enthusiasm and appreciation being displayed by every moment of his mouth, hands, and cock.

Besides the bliss the two felt whenever their bodies were intertwined, they had a harmonious and sweet relationship. What started off as a means to physically keep each other company evolved into something more intimate.

✪

For some reason his mind wandered off to her in the middle of a dreary paperwork day. Despite the fact that they were currently not looking at danger right in the eye, there was something mentally draining about the day that was slowly passing by.

Likewise she was finding that her day was brutal with her boss seemingly catching her on her worst performing day, her colleagues being of no help, and all her clothes in the laundry never drying off properly.

In a moment of frustration and need, she typed out text to the one man who seemed to provide her with the warmth and comfort she never knew she needed.

To: hotch damn 🔥 Can I see you tonight?

Thrilled at the text, he immediately replied with a quick yes.

From: hotch damn 🔥 Yes. My place at 6.

Admittedly, neither of them were in the mood for sex. “Would it be weird if I said I wasn’t in the mood for sex tonight?” She meekly spoke up after setting down their favorite takeout that she was kind enough to bring — all she really did was place the order and pick it up as she used his card to pay for it.

“Not if it’s weirder for me to agree,” He agreed as he slid a glass of wine her way. She smiles appreciatively and takes a sip of the drink, “Would it violate our agreement if I suggested that we just talk? I know we’ve been in this for over 6 months but there are still some things that we don’t know about each other.”

Downing the rest of his whiskey in one gulp he raised an eyebrow teasingly as he sat in the barstool next to her and placed one of his hands on her thigh, gently stroking the skin, “And what exactly is my sweetheart wondering about?”

That led the two of them in drunk-like haze as they laughed about their memories. “There is no way you were a dork in high school, Aar.” Whether it was the stereotypical dork that had glasses on that were falling off the bridge off their noses as they buried themselves in a book, or the kind that would find a piece of entertainment which would lead to them obsessively fixating on it and trying to introduce it to others, she concluded that he would be the type of dork that had women falling head over heels in love with him.

“I’m not lying, I promise,” He reaffirmed as he wiped his mouth off of the crumbs of the leftovers, “I was a dork who joined theater because I was trying to impress some girl, and ended up being, as my drama teacher called it, the embarrassment of the production.”

“But now look at you,” She mused as her hand found his and gently stroked his rough knuckles, “Not an embarrassment anymore. Instead you’re a hotshot profiler and occasionally a lawyer.”

“I’m a unit chief, sweetheart,” He corrects her softly as he pressed a gentle kiss on her knuckles, “But there is a title I favor the most.” Pausing for a couple of seconds to rack her brain of what the possible position he was referring to; coming up blank she shot a confused look that had a slight pout in her lips as she voiced out the only possibility that made sense to her, “Jack’s dad?”

Hotch had to bite his lip to prevent the toothy grin that was threatening to break free upon seeing her adorable, confused expression. Squeezing her hand gently with all the care and affection he can muster for her, he shook his head gently, “Yours, sweetheart. Your ‘Hotch Damn’ as you put it.”

A chuckle vibrated throughout her body as he referenced the contact name and reasoning behind it, “It’s not my fault you’re such a hot and one of a kind sugar daddy!”

“Have you been with enough to come to that conclusion?” It was bizarre that in the entirety of their arrangement not once has this come up. But it was also in the back of Aaron’s head how she might have been with others and occasionally compare his treatment of her and come to the conclusion that she wasn’t satisfied.

“No,” She was quick to interject as she removed herself from the comfortable seat she was in, instead settling herself in the even more comfortable lap of his, her lips pressing quick, sweet kisses to both his cheeks, “I’ve only been with one to know that there won’t be any other man out there who can treat me the way he can.”

That bold statement of hers, coupled with the affectionate pecks, soothed his soul in ways neither of them could have imagined. “That’s what I like to hear,” Hotch huskily approved of as she manuevred her legs so they wrapped around his torso, planting a deep, searing kiss on her lips.

Despite tangling one of her hands in the nape of his neck, Aaron could feel that she wasn’t reciprocating the kiss with the same vigor, “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” He inquired, pulling away to stroke her cheek lovingly to coax out what was running around in her head.

That seemed to do the trick as she exhaled shakily, “Do you miss it?” She was hoping that even though she gave him a vague question he’d be able to piece together what she meant. But that was unfortunately not how it was understood by the unit chief and instead just confused him even more, “Miss what, sweetheart?”

“Miss being Haley’s, I guess?”

Likewise, Y/N had some doubts lingering around about whether or not the older man still preferred the company of his ex-wife, or at the very least the company of a mature, older woman. She knew about their divorce but never really knew about how he felt about it.

Hoping to ease her insecurity and doubt, Aaron lifted her chin up with his fingers to look at him; her breath was taken away with the look of seriousness and adoration his alluring eyes had. “I know we may not have talked about it a lot, but Haley is a part of my past. Whatever affection and respect I have for her has more to do with her being the mother of my son, not because she’s the love of my life.”

Seeing how she was still biting her lip — he figured that this was her tell-tale sign of how she was still thinking, possibly overthinking, about the information he just shared with her — that left him to try one more trick up his sleeve to convince her that he really loved being with her. Placing a gentle kiss on her lips he confessed, “Whereas all the love and affection that I have for you has to do with you being my present and my future.”

Delighted at that, she lunged forward for a passionate kiss that became the gateway for an evening where they reaffirmed each other’s vow of commitment and affection, all while being tangled up in each other’s limbs.

✪

“Didn’t realize that the bar is in a hotel,” Rossi observed out loud once the rest of the team, Penelope included as she was excited for this chance to catch up with the rest of them, got out of the cars and found a comfortable, non-greasy looking booth.

“They have great signature drinks here,” Hotch defended almost instantly, earning a couple of raised eyebrows as if to question why he was being so defensive, “I’ve drank here once or twice.”

The rest of the team looked through the menu and upon deciding which drinks they were getting, “I’ll go grab the drinks, everyone stay put.” As Hotch slid out of the booth, the team huddled up as they shared their own theories as to why this particular place was chosen for their post-case destresser.

“Maybe he has a girlfriend here.”

“Does he get discounts here?”

“What’s up with him?”

After placing the order, Hotch looked back and noticed that the rest of the team was busy. He set up the trap as he nodded to the bartender, “I know that the drinks are too much, if you could just send it over that’d be great.” Sliding a fifty to ensure that his orders were followed, the unit chief just took one last peek, ensuring that they were all too preoccupied to notice his absences, and moved away from the bar and was heading towards the hotel’s reception.

Refusing to admit it to himself, there was a slight tremble in his hands each step he took closer to the front desk. Unsure whether or not she was there, and if she was, how would she react to his sudden presence, and most of all whether or not she would welcome him.

Given that her back was facing him, it gave him some time to admire and observe her features. The wrinkles in her uniform gave the indication that she either did not have time to properly iron it — his best guess was due to the fact that she was working longer hours; another thing he noticed too was the she seemed to be doing multiple tasks at once could be attributed to her trying to work more to earn more. All those things just caused worry to brew inside Aaron.

“I thought I told you to take it easy.”

At the sound of that deep, hypnotic voice that she loved hearing she turned her head and gasped out loud, “You’re here?” To be honest she was unsure as to why she was startled — the fact that he was in her workplace this late in the day, that he might have known about her use of his credit card, and if he did know about it there was a high chance that she was going to be confronted about it.

“I’m a paying patron if that’s what you’re worried about,” Hotch pointed towards the bar that was conjoined with the restaurant, “And I am here.” The words that left his lips left a bitter taste on his tongue as he was still puzzled in deciphering how she feels with their current situation.

“Case ended early?” She had an inkling that was the only way he seemed this calm from work; he nodded confirming her suspicion as he spoke, “Yes, and I suggested we all come down here for a drink.”

“That’s the only reason?” The eagerness in her voice at asking that question was that she was holding out hope that she wasn’t going to have a confrontation with him today — seeing as she was way too exhausted for one today considering how she essentially pulled a double shift.

“No,” He spoke too with the same eagerness, “I received a notification earlier that caught my eye.”

The way her mouth hung agape in shock let him know that she knew what this was about, “I believe it was about a purchase using my credit card?” Now closing her mouth, she then avoided his gaze as she could feel the embarrassment spread throughout the rest of her body. Aaron didn’t stop there as he continued to press on as he leaned towards the counter, a small smirk gracing his features, “I believe that card was something I gifted to you when we were exclusive, no?”

Having mistaken his little inquiry as one filled with displeasure, “I’m sorry, Mr. Hotchner. The store rejected my card thrice and I was just in a bind and had no other options,” Her calling him by his surname made it feel like there was a wedge in between them and that they had no previous connection or relationship; which what she was trying to do as it has just completely dawned on her how unsuitable it was for her to use his money without his consent, “That’s why I picked up more shifts so that I can pay you right back quickly.”

Frowning at her explanation, Aaron moved around the counter and hugged her tightly, forcing her to rest her weary head against his chest, “I’m not mad, sweetheart.”

The rumble in his chest as he spoke was oddly comforting to her as she looked up at him with glossy eyes, “You’re not?”

“What’s mine is yours, remember?”

“But that was when we were together,” She reminded him gently as she lightly removed herself from his chest to emphasize her point that they cannot find comfort and warmth in each other the same way they used to, “And we’re not anymore.”

“Why did we even have to end it, sweetheart?” That was the one question that never left his brilliant mind, going over the possibilities of things he neglected her on or issues that caused her to be upset, “We never really talked about it and it’s been killing me ever since.”

Looking up at him she could see that his furrowed eyebrows were not as deep — signalling that he wasn’t frustrated at her but at their situation. She was about to give in and explain her side but she snapped back into reality and was reminded that she was technically on duty, “I can’t,” She shrugged her shoulders, looking defeatedly, “I’m working.”

Sighing lowly, he respected her reason and was about to bid her adieu before his saving grace came in the form of Y/N’s closest colleague — who was also technically her supervisor for her shift given that they had been working for the company longer, “Hey, good news. I just got word that Tiffany’s good to work in the morning so there’s really no need for you tonight, and I mean that in the best way possible.” She joked and Y/N was unsure if she were to be pleased with the fact that she can rest her aching feet or nervous for it meant that she would be able to explain her side to Aaron after all.

“That’s great then,” Aaron spoke softly, not wanting to startle the two ladies, “If you’re free, would I be able to speak to you?”

Nodding dumbly she then nodded, “I’ll just finish off some things. If you could wait for me on the couch then I’ll come grab you once I’ve clocked out.”

Following her orders and sitting down on the plush couch gave Y/N the moment to let out a shaky exhale as she was cleaning up her things; Sam, the colleague who came in bearing the news, stood beside her with an excited grin as she gossiped, “Who’s the hottie?”

“The one I’ve been telling you about.”

“That’s him?” She shrieked excitedly, taking one good look at Aaron, “Well damn were you an idiot for letting him go!” Elbowing her side softly, “Keep your voice down and panties in your pants.”

Amused with her defense Sam just taunted her even more, “Possessive are we?”

“We’re not together, in any way, anymore,” She stood firm on her ground as she slung her bag, “But I just don’t wanna embarrass him.”

“I’ll get off your hair then,” Sam mused as she sat down on the chair in the front desk area; but before they could part the senior slid her a hotel room key, “Something tells me you two will need this.” Flabbergasted at what she was being given, she vehemently shook her head as she slid the card back, “No way am I taking that!”

“Come on, something tells me you both had a rough few weeks and nothing our soft mattresses can’t help with,” She winked, “Worst comes to worst one of you return the key to me.”

“Fine,” She gave up, intent on coming back down here once more to prove to her friend that there was no need for a room since all they were going to do was to talk, “I’ll show you!”

With her coat hanging tightly on her arm and bag strapped on to her opposite shoulder, she raised the key card to Aaron’s line of sight, “Would it be fine if we talked in a room? That way we both don’t pass out in exhaustion then we can part our own way.”

Chuckling to disguise the way his heart wrenched at the thought of parting ways with her too soon, Hotch nodded and signalled for her to lead the way. The quick walk to the elevator was quiet as the two tried to collect their thoughts.

“Would be nice to see what your hotel has to offer,” Hotch broke the silence as he sent a smile her way, one that would have definitely brought her to her knees had she not been holding on firmly to the railing, “Hopefully after tonight you’ll leave us a good review.”

Another smart retort was on the tip of his tongue but he held back as the elevator bell dinged softly; stepping forward to lead the way, she tapped the key against the reader and opened the door for him.

“Thank you,” Hotch said as he locked the door behind them as she busied herself with draping her coat in the office chair and her bag by the desk, “Feel free to hang your suit wherever.”

After following her he found himself sitting down on the king-sized bed as he smiled softly, “Would you mind if I started to ask you something?”

Admiring his conscious efforts to gain her consent while ensuring that she was comfortable, she nodded as she sat in the office chair and slid a bit closer so both their knees were touching, “What’s on your mind?”

“Why did you end things so suddenly?”

Bizarrely, that was the expected question he’d bring up; despite her expectation of this, however, she was unsure of how to answer it. She closed her eyes as her hands trembled nervously as she tried to find the right words to express herself.

Sensing that she was sending herself to a spiral of overthinking, he slid forward until their knees were touching and his large hands enveloped her relatively smaller ones as his thumbs soothed over knuckles, reassuring her to take her time.

This gave her the comfort she had been longing for several months now — which fueled her to speak her mind, “I got scared.”

She opened her eyes in time to see his eyes furrowed in confusion and worry, “Scared of what, sweetheart?”

“You met Beth,” She recalled the painful memory of watching them interact with smiles in their lips and eyes; she also took note of how at ease they both looked as they shared a short conversation in the middle of their little dates, “You met her and it just seemed like everything fell into place, like it made sense why we had what we had.”

“And what reasoning did you come up with, sweetie?” There were two things that confused her immensely — the first being as to why he continuously used that pet name he used on her when they were together when it could not have been more clear, on her side at least, that they had to have this sort of boundary in between them. While the second was that why was he acting like her damn therapist when she already gave him the answer he was looking for.

For Aaron it was important for him to know every little thought that was running around in her pretty mind in order for him to know how to soothe her anxieties. “I knew that after your divorce, and subsequently the news of Haley dating after the divorce took a bit of a toll on you,” A small smile played along her lips as she recalled the night when the two sat down to talk about what their little affair would entail, “And you explicitly cleared it out that this was more for companionship, more in the physical sense than the emotional.”

But it was more than that, Hotch argued in his mind but remained silent to let her continue. “For a while that arrangement worked for me, you know the money, the little dates we’d go on was more than enough for me.”

“Until it wasn’t,” He inferred at the way her tone changed and the way she was hesitant to go on as she bit her lip, as if to ponder whether she said enough and if it would be best to not continue.

“Until it wasn’t,” She confirmed with a small nod of her head and releasing her hands in his warm grasp as she opted to rest them on her thighs, kind of reminiscent as how she decided to cut ties with him, “It might have been delusional of me to think that maybe you liked me beyond the whole sugar baby thing. But there still was that little spark of hope in me that that was the case.”

He reached out to wipe the tears that unwillingly stayed out of her eyes, “But something made you think otherwise, what was it?”

Staring into his focused eyes let her know that there was no way for them to end this conversation so she might as well let it all out right? “When I saw you with Beth, it was like seeing a version of you that you were hiding,” She began as she leaned into his touch, “Like you were waiting for her to come along in your life. And when she did, she completed you,” She pulled away to wipe her own tears and sniffle slightly, “It dawned on me that perhaps the reason why you were so serene with her is that maybe, just maybe, the um, relationship that we had was like a trial run for you. To practice for when the real, better thing comes along.”

“Is that why you ended things?” He had a feeling that that still wasn’t the full reason and wanted to coax her gently about it; and his skepticism was confirmed as she shook her head and revealed, “I was in love with you and could not handle the thought of you loving someone else while you were, in a way, tied to me. So I ended things so you can be truly happy, with Beth,” She sobbed hard at the reminder of the night when she had packed her things out of his place, “As much as I wanted to selfishly have you all to myself, I could not live with myself if I knew I was keeping you miserable.”

No matter how many times he tried to refute her theory he could not even deny it in himself that yes, what she thought did make sense. Because what the hell else would be the reason as to why a divorcee would invest that much in a wonderful person? She never bothered asking about Beth and as to the nature of their relationship. She didn’t ask because she thought that it wasn’t her place, he argued with himself, because she felt like you did not care about her enough. Aaron had to shake away logic as he wanted to reassure her, “But you were wrong, sweetheart. About Beth, the reason we got together — just, about everything.”

Sorrow filled his tone and heart at the thought of her overanalyzing his interactions with Beth, which just further confused Y/N as she believed there is no reason for him to be that way, “Because I don’t even remotely like Beth — not in the way you think at least.”

“Why not?” She cut him off impatiently, slightly angered at the thought that it was all in her head, “Why the hell not?”

“Because I’m in love with you.”

As much as he hated to admit it, Hotch could feel a weight load off of his chest at his admission. He came around that realization at the end of the second month of their arrangement. Following an arduous case, he called her to invite her into his home just to chat and unload. And the way she handled him in his worst with grace and care made him weak to his knees — realizing that she would go above and beyond for him. And somewhere after their eight months together, he had the slight glimmer of hope that it wasn’t unrequited.

“What?” Came her soft, astonished reply as her hands suddenly found his, lightly squeezing his calloused ones as if to remind her that this was not an image conjured by her mind, but indeed was her reality, “You love me?”

“How could I not?” His hands wrapped around her hips, gently lifting her so she was settled in her throne, his lap, “You are every bit of goodness this world has to offer — your optimism, beauty, and kindness is unparalleled. I never believed that I would love and be loved after everything that I have been through, yet you walked into my life with such ease that I knew that there was no way I’m letting you go,” The softness in his voice coupled with the way his hands were lovingly running through her skin made her weak in the knees as she was hypnotized by his eyes, “I knew that I loved you when I come home from South Carolina and you looked after me with such care. I loved you then and I love you now, sweetheart. I’m sorry for making you feel otherwise.”

She was panting slightly, overwhelmed at his admission as well as in disbelief with how the night went, “You’ve loved me for that long? Why didn’t you tell me?”

The playful chuckle that vibrated in his chest made her smile as well upon seeing him relaxed, “The same thing that prevented you from doing the same — the deep lingering fear that maybe you didn’t like me that way, or what we have was just purely for your financial gain, or worse I’m not your type and you were just waiting for someone else.”

“There was never anyone else,” She was quick to soothe him with a chaste kiss on his stubbly cheek, “From the moment I met you, I knew you were different than all the boys I was with,” She pecked his nose softly, “You look after me and make sure that I have whatever it is I have and need,” She kissed his other cheek, smiling widely upon seeing the faint blush that was beginning to form in his face, “And most of all, you provide me with the warmth and safety I’ve been trying to find for God knows how long now.” This time it was Aaron who slanted his lips on hers, desperate to feel every part of her that she’ll let him touch, his hands digged slightly deeper into her hips as she pressed her body harder against his, “I’m never letting you go again,” He declared with conviction as their lips remained pressed, “Not when I know you love me the same way I love you.”

“I won’t walk away,” She promised him back as she pressed a couple of quick kisses in his lips as her hands settled on his broad shoulders, “I love you too much to do that, Aaron.”

Sliding his hands down from her hips to her ass, as he moved the two of them so they were both settled further up in the bed, with his back pressed against the headboard, “Let me show you,” He huskily rasped out as he was leaving trails of his love in the expanse of her neck, “Let me show you how much I love you.”

She moaned out loud when he nipped her skin gently, the way she loved and wanted it, “Only if you let me prove my love to you.” Smirking at her competitiveness, he flipped them over so she had her back against the soft mattress; hovering over her allowed him to take in the magnificent view of her grabbing onto his shoulders to bring him closer to her, “Not until I’ve done my time, sweetheart.”

His fingers were quick to undo her blouse that prevented him from fully appreciating all of her; feeling his lips leave kisses on her breasts made her moan out loud in need, tears of pleasure starting to escape her eyes, “I missed this, I missed you so much.”

“Never gonna be without each other, sweetheart,” Aaron affirmed her as he undid her bra with ease, wrapping his mouth around her nipple and swirled his tongue until the bud hardened, “Won’t let one day pass without telling I love you,” Switching over to the other nipple as his fingers busied themselves with sliding her skirt and underwear off.

“I love you,” She mewled out upon feeling his lips ghosting kisses by her clit, teasing her as seeing her squirm around for his attention was one of his favorite things, “Do you know?” He smirked at her as his thumb pressed circles against her clit, his other hand caressing her thigh before wrapping her left leg by his shoulder, “Tell me you love me and I’ll give you what you need.”

“I love you!” She exclaimed loudly as she looked down and was graced with the sight of Aaron enthusiastically dipping his tongue in her pussy while he continued to rub her clit, “All I need is you, just you Aaron.” Both her legs were now on top of his shoulders, drawing the man in as if to prove her cry.

A long lick from her pussy to her clit made her grip onto his luscious hair as Aaron now scukled on her clit while two of his fingers dipped inside her tight cunt, groaning into her skin when her walls clenched almost immediately on his fingers, “Fuck I missed you so much, sweetie,” He confessed once more as he looked up at her, desire evident in her eyes, “Wanted you back as soon as you left.” A reply was on the tip of her tongue, but she was unable to let it out as she could feel her stomach tighten and twist in anticipation of her orgasm, “Aaron please, fuck,” Was all she could let out.

Displeased with her words, he pulled his fingers away and halted his mouth’s movements as he remained pressed against her now sensitive clit and reprimanded her, “Now sweetheart, just because I’m going soft on you doesn’t mean I’ll let that slide. You know I don’t like it when you swear.”

“I’m sorry, daddy,” She apologized almost instantly – as if it was reflex to do it — which amused and pleased Hotch, “I love you and wanted you too. Always wanna be yours.”

“Right now I need you to be my good sweetie, okay?” He cooed at her softly, a stark contrast with his rough tone from earlier, as his the tip of his fingers repeatedly prodded at her sweet spot and his tongue flicked her clit until her whole body shivered in pleasure, “That’s it sweetheart, just cum on my fingers.”

A smile creeped onto his lips when he felt her body spasm as she followed his commands, her body relaxing as she orgasmed and released her sweet juices; humming in delight as his tongue delicately swirled around her hole, swiping up every last drop of her juices that he greatly missed the taste of.

“Knew you could be good for me, sweetheart.”

“For you, daddy,” She panted as she threaded her fingers in his soft hair, gently getting him to look at her so she could take in this moment, “Always good for you.” Pleased with how he had her wrapped around his finger, he began leaving kisses on her clit, travelling upwards while still planting kisses on her thighs, pelvis, stomach, and breasts before planting a sloppy yet loving kiss on her lips.

“What else would my previous sweetie like to do?” He asked her as his thumb traced the outline of her lips; she smiled as she opened her mouth and wrapped his thumb around her mouth, bobbing her head on the thick digit as she gave him a preview of what she’d do if it were his cock that was on her mouth. Amused at the sight of her desperately licking and swallowing his thumb he raised an eyebrow at her, “Does my sweetheart want to suck on my cock?”

“Yes, daddy,” Was her muffled response as she refused to part with his thumb. Shimmying his thumb out of her mouth, he chuckled when her dainty hands pushed him so he laid on his back, as she unbuttoned his work blouse, he planted soft kisses on his cheek and down towards his neck, “I missed kissing every inch of you.”

“So did I, sweetie,” He revealed as he looked down and saw how she looked up at him with so much longing, which greatly contradicted the way she sultrily unbuckled his belt and removed off his slacks that greatly accentuated his thighs.

“Let me show you how much I missed you, daddy,” She said as she stroked his cock, delighted with how just a few strokes against her palm had him fully erect. Licking the tip slowly, she heard him groan as the ghost of his left hand found its way on the back of her head, “Don’t tease me, sweetie. Not tonight, please.”

The way his voice deepened emphasized just how badly he wanted and needed this, and deciding to take mercy on him, she took him in her throat until she could feel the tip gently nudge the back of her throat. As she hallowed her cheeks around his thick length, Aaron groaned louder and bunched up her hair as if to warn her, “As much as I love and miss that mouth of yours, I don’t want cum in there, sweetie.”

“But I missed the taste of you,” She whined as she pulled off from his cock, Aaron had to bite his lower lip to prevent the groan that threatened to slip past his lips upon seeing his precum, as well as some of her saliva, loiter by the outline of her lips, “I need more, daddy.”

Determined to have the taste of him in her mouth, she took him in her throat, bobbing her head up and down as she moaned around his cock. Enjoying the crazed look and state she was in, Hotch removed his hand from the back of her head and rested them on the nape of his neck, letting her think that she now has control. His hips would join her movements and would subtly thrust his hips up towards her mouth as he enjoyed the slight gurgling sound she let out.

Her hand found purchase of his balls, gently massaging them as if she were giving him a cue to release his cum on her. Aaron, however, knew that if she continued on doing that she would get what she wanted but he would not let her have her way. Not today, at least.

Both his hands gently held on to her cheeks as he pulled her off of his cock, “What did I tell you about me not cumming in your mouth, sweetheart?” He chastised as he carried her so she sat on his lap, her ass almost instinctively grinding down on his hard cock.

“But I want to taste you,” She whined as she circled her arms around his neck, her lips nuzzling against the skin of his cheek, hoping that her pleas for him would be more than enough to get him to change his mind; however he was firm in his statement as emphasized by the way his arms wrapped around her back as he laid her gently on his back, lips latching onto her lips as he groaned at their combined taste, “Maybe next time, sweetheart.”

Aligning his cock by her entrance, he teased the tip of his cock by rubbing it by her entrance, “I love you, sweetie,” He panted out as he slid inside her, lips gently kissing her temple. She groaned out in pleasure as her hands gently scratched by his shoulder blades, “Missed you so much, daddy. Love you.” Slightly lifting his head, he chuckled as he saw the drunk in lust and love look she was sporting; as if to test the waters, he gently pulled his hips off slightly before thrusting into her. Repeating his movements until he felt the tip of his dick gently press onto her sweet spot, he found himself engrossed and drinking in the sight of her in pleasure as he listened to her sweet mewls.

“You’re all mine, sweetie,” He promised her as his hands removed hers from where they were latching onto the skin of his shoulders, planting them by her head as he drilled into her hole. Her moans were directly ringing in his ear and sent him shivering in pleasure, his eyes were fighting to stay open as he wanted to watch her fall apart in his arms.

“Missed you so much,” Her prolonged moan was caused by his harsh thrusts that managed to penetrate her sweet spot while she loved the burn of her wrists with how tight he was gripping on to them. Wanting to feel more of him, she wrapped her legs around his waist, bringing the two of them so close that everytime he rutted into her they could feel the skin of their stomachs touch, driving her even more drunk in desire.

“Fuck, sweetie,” He moaned out when her lips were pressing needy kisses on his jaw and on the juncture of his neck; she was nipping on him, marking him as hers. And he would have worn her marks proudly, with more pride than when he carried his badge.

Once pleased with the amount of marks she left on him, she smirked slightly upon looking up to meet with his eyes, “I missed every inch of you, daddy.”

“Is that why you have me locked into you, sweetie?” Came his cocky reply as he slowed down his thrusts to further tease her. She nodded as she tried to lift her wrists from his firm grasp but he would not relent as he wanted to drag this out for as long as he could. “Want daddy all to yourself?”

“Want and need every inch of you, daddy,” She batted her eyelashes at him, hoping he’ll let go of her wrists so she can wrap them around his broad back, “Want to hold you close to me. Want to kiss and feel your stomach next time,” As if to prove her need for it, she pushed her heel further to his back, mewling upon feeling his stomach clench against hers, “Missed straddling and riding your thighs. Just want you so bad, daddy.”

The growl that ripped through his chest was animalistic and unlike anything she’s heard from him as he set her hands free so he could anchor onto her waist. A squeal came out from her she planted her hands by his shoulder blades to try and steady herself as he was slamming into her cunt at a rapid rate. Her words clearly brought Aaron to the brink of his climax; and he knew that she was nearing her peak given how she couldn’t prevent her lip from trembling too much, as well as how much tighter and wetter her sweet pussy was.

“Think you can cum for me, sweetie?” He rasped out as he watched her bobbed her up and down, “Want to hear you say it, sweetie. Be my good girl and say it.” “Gonna cum for you, daddy. Always your good girl,” She affirmed as one of her hands slid down from his neck and settled on his chest, feeling his heartbeat, “I love you, Aaron.”

Her genuine and sweet admission was enough to bring them both to their orgasm. He pressed his lips against hers as his thrusts had slowed down but still contained their power as he whispered back to her, “I love you so much, sweetie.”

As their lips were locked and tongues tangled in each other, they swallowed each other’s moans as they both felt themselves cum. His hands now left her hips and instead wrapped them around her back so she could press her close against him, reminding him that this was his present and that it wasn’t all in his head.

Feeling out of breath they pulled away from their kiss but their lips remained pressed against each other. Aaron moved to lay on his back, bringing her on top of him just so he could continue holding her while his cock remained nestled in her, something she wondered about, “Are you really just going to stay inside me?”

He shot her a teasingly offended look, “I thought I made it perfectly clear that I had no intentions of letting you go?” She just chuckled as she pressed a kiss to his chest as she responded, “I didn’t know you meant literally!”

They both laughed as they basked in the post-orgasm bliss that they were in, both their fingers finding themselves busy with tracing patterns and shapes on their skin. A few silent moments had passed before Aaron lifted her chin up so he could kiss her deeply. Once they parted, Hotch frowned slightly upon seeing her bite her bottom lip to prevent the grin that was threatening to break out. Clicking his tongue in disapproval, his steady thumb unhooking her bottom lip from the teeth’s constraint, “Never hide your gorgeous grin for me, sweetheart.”

“Only if you promise not to hide yours, Aaron?”

At that he chuckled once more and nodded as he lifted her hand that was resting on his chest and kissed the back of it, “I promise, sweetie.” Beaming up at him, she smiled and nuzzled herself against his chest, “I think I can get used to that,” Just as she found a comfortable position she lifted herself up from his chest and looked at her with a furrowed brow as she wondered, “Are we back together? Like how we were from before?”

One did not have to be a profiler to know that she was masking her upset as she clearly wanted to cherish where she was in but was still cautious about her place. Hotch then kissed her lips gently and held her face as he looked at her with all the love and affection he has for her, “We are together, sweetie. But not as sugar daddy and baby anymore.”

There was a slight flicker of hope brewing inside her as she looked up at him with glossy eyes, “So are we in a real relationship then?”

Nodding as he reciprocated the dazed in love look in his eyes that she had and pecked her lips softly once more and confirmed it for her, “If that is what you want and what you are ready for. I would be honoured to be called yours.”

“I want and need all of you, Aaron — if you’d let me, of course,” It was her turn to brush the hair that had fallen on the top of his head and kissed his nose gently before kissing his lips, “Ever since you came into my life, I could never going through another day without you.”

That sentiment caused Aaron to smile widely and usher in her body closer to his, his arms tightening around her as he found himself elated at the idea of spending a long time — forever really if it were up to him — with her.

“I guess that settles it then,” He relaxed once more, settling for pressing soft kisses all over her face as he relished in the giggles she let out everytime she was kissed by his plump lips. Once he had his fill of her and her sweet giggles he pulled back and stared at her with adoration while she looked at him the same way while she dreamily sighed, “And to think we wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t used your card.”

He shook his head at her silly analogy of what led them back together. As he kissed her nose and snuggled her even more into his chest, “Thank God for that then hm?” He swallowed her sweet giggles once more with a kiss and pulled back to tease her a little, reveling in her little mewls, “I’m only asking just because I’m curious — so you really don’t have to answer — but what is it even that you bought, sweetheart?”

Feeling bashful and shy all of a sudden as she buried her cheek in his chest as her hand rubbed on one of his pec as she shyly muttered, “A set of lingerie and a couple of sundresses,” She looked up at him and felt all the more timid upon seeing his cheeky smile, “I wanted to feel pretty, okay? That and I just wanted to treat myself a little. But it turns out I couldn’t even afford to do so.”

Kissing her pout away, he rubbed her bottom lip while he promised her sweetly, “Well not only will I prove to you everyday how beautiful you are, but I’m gonna spoil you rotten.” A beaming smile now graced her lips as she pressed another quick peck on his lips before nestling herself in his chest as her heart warmed at the idea of them being back together again and Aaron being more than willing to make her happy, the same way she was willing to bend backwards to keep the sweet smile on his face.

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner smut #thomas gibson #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #sugar daddy!hotch #sugar daddy!aaron hotchner #sugar daddy!aaron hotchner x reader

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headkiss · 9 months

Note

omg reader and jack making hotch a cute personal christmas present together would absolutely melt my heart 😭❤️ (and hotch's too)

hi lovely! thank u sm for ur request i hope u like it <333 | 0.8k of fluff with jack and hotch!

Aaron Hotchner breathes warmth into your life.

It’s in everything he does. The way he stocks his cupboards with your favorite snacks, the drawers in his dresser that are now yours, the extra hook by the door for your jacket. You never thought you’d find someone like him, someone who treats you so well.

It isn’t just with you, either.

There’s his team and how highly they speak of him, how highly he speaks of them, too. And, of course, there’s his son.

Jack looks up to his dad in a way that tugs at your heartstrings whenever you see it. He sits in his office with him whenever Hotch will let him, even highlights and writes over fake files Aaron gives him that are much more innocent than the ones the BAU actually deal with.

And because Aaron raised him, Jack has that same warmth his father does, only he doesn’t try to conceal it nearly as much.

You’d been worried at first, about what Jack would think of you, how he’d react to a new person in not only his life, but Aaron’s, too. Now, all you feel is lucky that you get to be a part of their life.

With Christmas coming up, you feel luckier than ever.

Jack had waited until Aaron was in the washroom the last time you were over to ask you if you’d help him make a gift for Hotch, and your answer of ‘of course’ was simple as breathing.

Now, you’re sitting with Jack at the kitchen table, Aaron still at the office. You picked him up from school—something you’re happy to do whenever Hotch needs the help, something that makes you feel lucky, too—and went to the craft store before coming back and setting up.

There are supplies spread across the table, markers and glue, stickers and printed pictures.

“Can you pass me the blue, please?” Jack asks you.

You smile, handing him the marker he asked for and smiling even bigger at his sweet ‘thank you.’ Then, you hear the jingle of keys turning in the door, and you and Jack look at each other surprised, his eyes wide.

“How about this,” you say, “I’ll distract your dad, you hide his present, yeah? We’ll finish it next time, promise.”

Jack nods, his face serious like you’ve just given him a real mission. He starts packing things up right away.

Aaron rarely comes home early, no matter how much he wants to. He’s focused, determined, always doing as much as he can while he’s in the office. So, whenever he gets the chance, he tries to get home sooner. To get home to Jack. To you.

His shoulders feel lighter as soon as he steps inside, as soon as he hears the muffled sound of your voice, the response of his son’s laughter.

You come out of the kitchen, the neckline of your t-shirt loose over your shoulder, a pair of Aaron’s socks bunched at your ankles. “Hey, Hotchner. You’re home early.”

“Hi, honey.” Aaron sets his things down, opting to get you in his arms, instead. He reaches for you at the same time you move towards him, like magnets. He trails his fingertips down your arms, holding your hands in his. “Where’s Jack?”

You squeeze Aaron’s hands once before letting go. “One second.”

You turn back to the kitchen, peeking your head in to find that Jack has, for the most part, cleared the table of any evidence. When you look at him, he gives you a thumbs up, “all clear.”

Hotch knows something’s going on with the way you’re acting. He is a profiler, after all. But he decides not to ask, because he trusts you, and he figures he’ll find out soon enough.

You’ve never been the best at keeping secrets from him.

He comes into the kitchen after you, tossing an arm around your shoulders and tugging you closer so he can press a kiss to the side of your head.

“Dad!” Jack cheers, rushing to hug Aaron’s legs.

“Hey, buddy.”

When Aaron looks at the table, he notices that Jack must’ve missed a spot when hiding any evidence, leaving behind two markers. Red and green.

He can feel his heartbeat do something funny in his chest, jumping, skipping, like the rhythm has shifted to beat in a different pattern. He thinks about what you must’ve been doing: making some sort of gift with Jack.

Aaron didn’t think he could love his family anymore, then you came into it and everything felt right, like you’d been the last puzzle piece to click into place.

He pats Jack on the shoulder and kisses your head again.

And on Christmas morning, when Aaron opens the scrapbook you and Jack made him, his smile is instant and wide. He swears he feels his heart swell in his chest.

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greg-montgomery · 2 years

Text

minors please do not interact with any of my nsfw posts! (my tag is #nsfw. ) icon

♡ if you wanna be tagged in something that's nsfw you have to have your age in you bio, or at least confirm you're an adult pls!

♡ also please don’t send me a request if you’ve already sent it to another blog!

♡ i won’t take requests about aaron as reader’s dad. i can’t write him as a platonic father figure bc i do not like him platonically!

my requests for Aaron Hotchner and Greg Montgomery are open <3

my nsfw blog: @hotchsprincess 🩷

my main blog: @myweepingangel 🪽

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

series

Ivy - complete (nsfw)

any other world (nsfw)

my fics

Saturday Night (nsfw)

Lonely

aaron comforting you after a long day

making up with aaron after a fight

young!aaron helping you deal with stress

aaron is your secret admirer - part 2

a fight with aaron

enemies to lovers

hotch has a wet dream about you (nsfw)

jealous (toxic) hotch

enemies to lovers - kiss in the rain

meet cute in a bookstore

aaron taking care of you while you're sick

being hotch's secret admirer - part 2

halloween blurb

riding hotch's thigh (nsfw)

aaron profiles you in bed (nsfw)

aaron spoils you on your birthday

a fight with aaron

jealous hotch while undercover

piggy back ride

aaron helps you through an anxiety attack

aaron helps you with a bad habit

more birthday spoiling

morgan catches you and hotch making out

getting back with ex bf!hotch

fluff after your first time with aaron

energetic!reader ranting to aaron

sex while watching a movie (nsfw)

aaron talks to jack about you

angry/jealousy sex (nsfw)

champagne problems

brat tamer hotch (nsfw)

hotch has a soft spot for you

soft and romantic sex

ex bf!hotch

hotch and jack trying to win you back

jealous dbf!hotch

aaron helps you after a family loss

touch starved!hotch

aaron takes care of you after a long day

cocky aaron

jealous aaron

falling asleep in hotch's hotel room

staying with hotch & jack

route 66

jack outs your relationship to the team

aaron comforts you

hotch is jealous of your celebrity crush (aka thomas gibson lol)

condescending aaron (nsfw)

studying with college!hotch

hotch & swiftie!reader

aaron braids your hair

going to hotch's room bc you're scared of a thunderstorm

shy!reader who's not so shy (nsfw)

hotch finds out you want to be called princess

showing off your bf to your friends

princess treatment for sick!reader

accidentally texting your boyfriend's dad while drunk - part 2 (nsfw)

spending the night at your dad's best friend's house - part 2 (nsfw)

mr. scratch

you're reid's best friend visiting him at work-love at first sight

fic recs

headcanons

jack calls you mom for the first time

aaron has heart eyes for you

stealing aaron’s snacks

first mother’s day with your hotchners

sitting in aaron's lap

sweet sex with aaron (nsfw)

social media aus

instagram povs: 1, 2, 3

bau group chat

texts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

twitter: 1, 2

moodboards

life with aaron

being young!hotch's gf

life with young!hotch - fall edition

life with aaron 2

princess treatment

Greg Montgomery x Reader Masterlist

#aaron hotchner #hotch #criminal minds #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #criminal minds fic #greg montgomery #greg montgomery x reader #dharma and greg #hotch 🪐#greg 🧸

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wilbur-rabbit · 2 years

Text

Feelings

Life Changes series fic

Summary: Hotch realizes he has feelings for you

Paring: Aaron Hotchner x BAU!reader

Word Count: 2655

Warnings: fluff, slight angst

Life Changes Masterlist

Main Masterlist

A/N: This one shot takes part before all of the other parts so far. I really wanted to write about Hotch realizing his feelings and I think he would realize this before the reader would and be self deprecating about it. also I can't seem to stop writing about coffee in this series. so if you don't like coffee my apologies.

I hope you enjoy! Please like and reblog!

Hotch was sitting in his office working on a seemingly endless amount of paperwork when there was a knock at his door.

“Come in,” he said, without looking up, his pen still scratching across the page.

When he heard the door open, he glanced up to see you walk in with two coffees in your hand. You smiled at him when the two of you locked eyes and Hotch’s chest warmed at your bright smile. He kept his face as neutral as he could even though a small smile pulled at his lips on their own accord. Your smiles had always been contagious.

“I tried out a new coffee shop this morning and they had your favorite coffee, so I thought I’d get you a cup,” you said as you stepped forward and set one of the coffees down on his desk.

Hotch stared at the cup for a second, his chest betraying him again and feeling fuzzy, before looking back up at you.

“How do you know my favorite coffee?” He asked you.

“Whenever we have Liberica beans in the office you always drink more of it, regardless of if you need the caffeine or not,” you said, with a shrug of a shoulder like you noticing something as little as that didn’t make his heart skip a beat.

“Thank you,” he said bringing the cup up to his lips and taking a sip. The nuttiness and slight bitterness swept over his tongue, and he hummed in satisfaction.

He saw the anticipation on your face when he looked back up at you and said, “It is very good,” your face lit up in another grin that he couldn’t help but return. “Thank you again. You didn’t have to do that.”

You waved him off like it wasn’t a big deal. “I wanted to. I’m glad you like it.” With another smile, you turned and walked out of his office.

He stared after you for a moment, wondering how lucky the team was to have you, how you seemed to light up the office ever since you started. Or maybe it just felt that way to him. He shook his head, cleared his thoughts, and got back to work, this time having a coffee to enjoy.

The next time Hotch went to a coffee shop, which ended up being later the same week, his first thought was you. He wanted to return the favor and get you a coffee you would like. He knew you favored espresso over regular coffee, he had heard you telling Prentiss about the espresso machine you used at home while on the jet coming back from a case. The conversation prompted Prentiss to go out and buy the exact one. She had raved to you about how much she liked it the next day in the office, and you had lit up when she told you. Hotch had quickly gone up the stairs to his office not wanting anyone to see him eavesdropping.

He stared at the menu in the shop, feeling slightly overwhelmed by all the options. The place had unique names for every drink, having specialty drinks as well as drinks you would find at other coffee shops. He only ever ordered black coffee so he was a little out of his element. As his eyes scanned over the menu his thoughts took him to a memory of a case not that long ago. The police station that the team was working in had a coffee machine that had been broken when the team arrived. Even though the team didn’t voice their disappointment when the police chief told them, he knew they would be grumbling about it soon. The team had a caffeine addiction that Hotch didn’t foresee going anywhere.

About a day into the case, you were put in charge of ordering food for the team. He should have known you would order coffee too. When the coffee arrived, you would have thought it was Christmas morning. As everyone grabbed their designated cup and the cream and sugar that was included, Hotch took a step over to you taking a sip of his coffee.

“I think you made their day,” he told you, leaning down slightly to your height.

You grinned up at him, “When I saw the coffee place downtown delivered, I knew I had to get us some. Our food budget might be surpassed on this case.”

He chuckled and took another sip of his drink, savoring the nuttiness. He watched you take a sip of your drink. You hummed and closed your eyes in satisfaction. He watched your eyelashes flutter softly against your cheeks and his grip tightened onto the coffee cup. He was having this reaction to you more and more. He tried not to think about what that could mean.

“What did you get?” he asked, needing to distract himself and curious as to what had brought that look onto your face.

You looked up at him, “It’s a caramel latte,” you replied, still smiling softly. “I got Prentiss one, too.”

“Next.”

Hotch was brought out of his thoughts and realized it was his turn to order. He decided on a caramel latte to go with his black coffee.

Once he got to the office he wondered if bringing you something was the right choice. What if you didn’t like it? He shook off the thought before he lost his nerves and remember the look on your face when you first sipped the coffee on the case. When he walked into the bullpen out of sheer luck, you were sitting at your desk and the rest of the team was nowhere to be found.

With a sigh of relief, he walked over to you and set the cup on your desk, where luckily you didn’t already have a coffee cup. You looked up at him with furrowed brows.

“I wanted to return the favor,” he said, rubbing his thumb over his index finger. “I saw that drink and thought you would like it.”

Your face brightened into a smile that warmed him through and he couldn’t help but smile back. You picked up the drink and took a sip. You let out a hum of pleasure and closed your eyes as you savored the drink. Hotch couldn’t help but admire the soft look on your face before you opened your eyes and looked up at him.

“This is delicious,” you took another sip. “And caramel is my favorite.” You said and he could hear the truth in your words. “I didn’t have time to make coffee this morning, so this was a pleasant surprise. Where did you get this? It is so good.”

He smiled and told you about the coffee shop and the drink he had gotten for you.

“I’m definitely going to have to start going there from now on,” you said. “Thank you for getting it for me. You really didn’t have to.”

Hotch was already shaking his head. “I wanted to,” he told you. “I’m glad you like it.” He paused for a moment and debated saying the words that were on the tip of his tongue. That the two of you should go together, so you could try all their flavors and he could see which ones you liked the most. He looked down away from your eyes, knowing he was less likely to blurt out his thoughts when he couldn’t see your open expression.

“How did you know caramel was my favorite?” You suddenly asked.

He looked back up at you, his heart thudding at the question.

“The case in San Francisco, when their coffee machine was broken, and you ordered coffee for the team. You got yourself a caramel latte, it was clear you really enjoyed it.” Hotch swore he saw your cheeks turning slightly pink but why would you blush at that? He was the one that felt slightly embarrassed for remembering the fact about you. He had to admit that he liked the pink tint to your cheeks though.

“Thank you,” you murmured again.

“You’re welcome,” he replied.

The two of you stared at each other for another moment. Hotch didn’t know what else to say, so he gave you a nod and went up to his office. With his back to you, he didn’t see how your eyes trailed after him until he made it into his office.

A couple of weeks later, Hotch decided to take a detour to work and head to the same coffee shop he had visited when he bought your drink. He has gotten up early enough to go for a run and coffee felt like the perfect addition to his morning.

When he walked through the door, he was surprised to see you, your back to the door looking up at the menu.

Hotch’s heart skipped a beat and he slowly walked up behind you, trying to think of something to say to you. Before he could come up with the words you turned slightly and looked behind your shoulder as if you could sense him behind you.

A smile crossed your face when you saw him and the happiness on your face warmed his chest.

“Great minds think alike,” you said in greeting.

A chuckle slipped through his lips, “It appears so. Are you going to try something new?”

“I will if you will,” you dared.

Hotch peered up at the menu feeling as lost as he did when trying to decide what to get you. You must have recognized the look on his face because a giggle slipped through your lips. His eyes shot back to yours and he swore his insides melted.

He knew the feelings had been experiencing towards you had a name, but he couldn’t let himself think it.

“Do you like lattes?” You asked, bringing out of his thoughts.

His eyebrows pulled together. “I don’t know if I have ever had one,” he said as the line moved slowly forward. The still had plenty of time to get to the office and he would take any time he could get with you outside of work.

You gasped in mock horror. “We have to get you one. Your life is about to change.”

Usually, he would argue and say that black coffee was fine but he was finding it hard to deny you. The thoughts of his feelings bubbled up to the surface again and he forcefully pushed them back down.

“What do you recommend?” He asked.

The line moved up again and you hummed, studying the menu, then turned to glance at Hotch as if the answer to his question was written across his face. He couldn’t help but smile as you turned back to the menu.

“Do you like cinnamon?” You asked.

“Yes.”

“Okay,” you said with an affirming nod. “You should get the cinnamon dolce latte. I haven’t had it here before, but I think you’ll like it.”

By this time the two of you had made it to the front of the time. The cashier greeted you both and asked for your orders. Hotch gestured for you to go ahead.

Once you had ordered, Hotch stepped forward, his arm almost brushing against yours, and ordered the latte you suggested. You gave him a curious look before the cashier gave the total and Hotch started handing over his card. Realization rushed through you, and you opened your mouth to protest your hand fishing for your wallet.

Hotch gave you a stern look, knowing what you were about to do, and murmured, “Don’t worry about it. I got it.”

You kept quiet as the cashier rung you two up and you stepped to the side.

“Thank you,” you said, Hotch’s eyes flashing to yours.

Hotch gave you a smile and a nod. “Of course.”

The two of you stood in comfortable silence while the barista made your drinks. Hotch kept stealing glances over at you as your eyes wandered around the coffee shop, taking in other people who needed a coffee fix for the morning. Hotch admired your profile, the fullness of your lips, the curve of your cheekbone, and the slope of your jaw. His heart again fluttered in his chest; the feelings that he tried so hard to control bubbling back towards the surface.

Hotch was pulled out of his thoughts when both of your names were called, and he turned to the counter. Once the two of you had your coffee in hand, you both headed towards the exit. Hotch held the door open for you letting you exit first before he followed behind you, a quiet “thank you” slipping past your lips.

Once you were both a few feet away, you turned and looked at him expectantly. For a moment he wasn’t sure why but then your eyes flickered towards his cup. His lips tugged into a smile; he couldn’t remember the last time he had smiled this much.

He took a sip from his cup, and you watched him closely as if you were looking for cues of his reaction. Your unwavering focus on him was something he wasn’t used to and even though he enjoyed having your attention, it also made his palms clammy.

The first sip of the coffee flooded his taste buds. A combination of creaminess from the milk, sweetness from the cinnamon, and slight bitterness from the espresso brought a satisfying hum to his lips. That seemed to be the right reaction because a bright smile stretched across your face.

“So, you like it?” you asked, still having not taken a drink of your coffee.

“Yes,” Hotch replied, he almost seemed surprised that he enjoyed it as much as he did. He took another sip. “It is delicious. Thank you for the recommendation.”

You a small fist pump in satisfaction. “I’m glad. Now we will have to try other ones to see what else you like.”

You finally took a sip of your drink and seemed satisfied with yours as well. Hotch could see your car parked along the street and the two of you started walking towards it. He was parked around the corner from you, and he was happy he could walk you to your car.

You turned to look up at him when you got to it, the sun creating a halo around your figure.

“Thank you again. You didn’t have to do that.”

“You’re welcome. And I wanted to,” Hotch responded.

Your eyes were soft as you gave him a small smile. “I’ll see you at work then.”

“I’ll see you there.”

Once you had taken off and Hotch had made it to his vehicle. He sat there for a second with his hands on the wheel, replaying the morning events. Before today he had known deep down what was brewing in his heart for you but after today, he didn’t know if he could ignore it any longer.

Throwing the car into drive, Hotch headed into work.

Once he arrived, coffee in hand, his eyes trailed to your desk on their own accord, and he found you looking at him. You smiled at him and lifted your cup in his direction. He mirrored your actions, giving you a smile in return before heading up to his office. He shut his door; his blinds already closed from a meeting he had with Strauss the day before and dropped heavily into his chair.

He placed his head in his hands, his elbows leaning against the desk, and sighed. He let the feelings he had been pushing down flood through him, realizing that he was too far gone. He had feelings for you, his subordinate who was significantly younger than himself. He couldn’t think of someone more off-limits to him, someone so unlikely to return his feelings even if the roadblocks weren’t in the way.

He had feelings for you, and he couldn’t, wouldn’t do anything about it.

If you would like to be tagged in any of my work, let me know!

tagged: @suhke3, @wanniiieeee, @kajjaka, @iwillmakeyoucraveme, @twilightlover2007, @alinasophie, @katieslotherford, @stiles-argent24, @myriaos, @nvttiara, @eternal-silvertongued-prince, @rousethemouse, @pandorasdreamings, @rosaliedepp, @jori21, @ssamorganhotchner, @hearteyesmotherclucker, @xoxo-mylove, @anxious-enby, @singhfae, @sunshinemunchkin, @hotchnerxo, @breadforhowl, @thenewnormalforensicator

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner fanficton #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotchner x bau!reader #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch x y/n #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x y/n #hotch x reader #hotch x y/n

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amazingmaeve · 3 years

Text

BREATH

spencer reid x fem!reader

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: Y/N’s had a rough life dealing with the fact that her father left her and her mother, leading her mom to drinking her life away. But she had her best friend, Spencer Reid a love able need who helped her along the way. That friendship turned into something more when they both turned 15. But one morning Y/N finds out the Spencer left to explore more opportunities and just left a note. Then at 29 the most traumatic thing happened to her which made time stop for her. Being kidnapped, raped and tortured for 3 weeks she thought she was going to die but Y/N escaped and reported it to the police but never eventually found anything. A few years later still having trauma Spencer Reid comes back into her life.

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: angst, major warning for mentions of rape and torture happens against reader DO NOT READ (not described) if you’re not comfortable, fluff (with spencer), swearing, use of drugs (prescribed), alcohol, abandonment

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 10,308

ɴᴀᴠɪɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ|ᴄ.ᴍ ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ|s.ʀ ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀs ɴᴏᴛᴇ: again please DO NOT READ if anything in the warnings (mentions of rape and torture against reader) triggers you, I want your mental health to be in line more than a like or reblog. The sexual assault ISN’T described the only description is when she escapes. also it’s my first time writing for spencer so please go easy on me. Also definitely inspired by that episode nanny dearest. Flashbacks are in italics. Also longest thing I’ve ever written.

Spencer entered the building and went straight for his desk, after saying hello to Emily and Derek and put his satchel and coffee down getting ready to get to work. As he picked up his pen he heard Hotchs door open and looked up to see his boss standing there with his usual stern face.

“Case,” Hotch said, his voice gravely as usual.

Spencer sighed and grabbed his stuff and headed straight for the debriefing room where all of his teammates were sitting. Garcia stood in front of all them with her bright attire and remote in hand. Even with her bubbly attitude Spencer could tell that this case was going to be a tough one with her body language.

“Hope you have a tough stomach for this one my beauties,” Garcia sighed as everyone looked at the iPads on their tables. “Every December 2 girls go missing in Las Vegas with mutilation all over their bodies and especially the genitals. They also have been extremely sexually assaulted and raped” She explained though Spencer had already read through the whole thing and saw the pictures.

“Sadist,” Emily guessed.

“Actually it seems more likely that this guy is more of a sexual sadist due to the extreme rape and assault to the genitals,” Spencer explained his eyes still on the IPad. Emily rolled her eyes playfully.

“Wait it looks like they had some of their hair ripped out,” J.J brought up looking more closely at the pictures.

“All of them from the looks of it. Maybe souvenirs,” Rossi explained, taking a guess.

“This guy seems really angry and impulsive but composed since he only kills one month out of the year for three years,” Derek says bewildered.

“It takes a lot of patience to do something you could be doing all year, maybe something is holding him back,” Emily suggested.

“Maybe that’s why the murders are so gruesome, he has something or someone holding him back for all the other 11 months,” Spencer quickly said putting down the IPad finally taking a look at the rest of his team members. “From the looks of this, this guy is extremely calculated,” He explained, wringing his hands together.

“Why do you say that,” J.J asked, confused. All these murders looked like someone impulsively did them.

“You can see on the girls arms that she has ligature marks which means these girls are being held somewhere, also they all have the same hair color, eye color, and even age he’s definitely projecting and using these women as surrogates as well,” Spencer quickly explained.

“It’s already half way through December 3 girls are already dead, one is missing . We need to crack this case. Wheels up in 30,” Hotch demanded, rising from his seat quickly followed by everyone in that same room.

Spencer couldn’t help but feel nervous as he was going to the place where he was born. They’ve all been there before but this time he felt like something in his gut that something bad was going to happen, he just brushed it off as nerves.

——-

“Dammit,” Y/N cursed as she started bleeding from the wound on her finger. She has been picking at the skin around her nail to help the nerves, at least that’s what her therapist told her at every session.

It was completely reasonable with what she has been through and even her therapist told her that people don’t just get over that. Y/N hated that about herself though, still having nightmares 3 years after the whole thing. In her mind she should be done with all of this, waking up in a sweat and having a panic attack every night. In those nightmares he came back for her and did everything over and over again. The rape, the torture.

Jill, her therapist, explained it was possible since the guy hadn’t been arrested she was afraid he could come back at any moment. Although, Y/N didn’t need a therapist to tell her that.

His face is implanted in her mind, every time she closes her eyes she sees him above her, but before she has a full blown panic attack she takes deep breaths and reminds herself he isn’t there.

In those three years she has gotten herself a German shepherd, a service dog, to help her with the panic attacks and it did help having him there. But she couldn’t take him to the bar where she worked, so she had to figure out trying to calm herself down during a panic attack.

In her first session of therapy, Jill immediately prescribed her to Xanax since she was hyperventilating for even coming out of her apartment. Y/N didn’t mind since it helped her during some of her rough times.

“So how are you today Y/N,” Jill asked with her notebook in her hand. Y/N sat across from her on the couch with her hands tightly squeezed together.

“Not much better but I took your advice and I talked to someone,” Y/N tried to explain, giving bad information and good information.

“That’s progress and it’s a good thing letting people in your life and letting them care for you,” Jill explained as her mouth formed into a smile.

“Well it’s easier said than done,” Y/N mumbled under her breath, her hand going to the scars on her arm and began to scratch the old wounds for comfort.

“That is also true but you never know unless you take a risk,” Jill suggested, putting one leg over the other, crossing them.

“The last time I took a risk is when I got kidnapped for 3 weeks and got repeatedly raped and torture soI don’t ever want to take a risk again,” Y/N snapped as tears came cascaded down her cheeks. Her breaths began to become more and more short.

“You’re right with your past you shouldn’t be taking a risk and I’m sorry for bringing that up,” Jill apologized with a monotone voice, not allowed to show any emotion.

Y/N took a deep breath wiping the tears away, reminding herself that Jill just wanted to help her get better. But is there any hope that she could get better? She was broken beyond belief, and she didn’t have any hope in herself. All those scars, inside and out, have prevented Y/N a life she should have had, but now she’s cold and doesn't talk to anyone. She can’t take that risk again.

“It’s fine,” Y/N quickly replied, bouncing her knees as her nerves began to calm down. Even though her heart was still pounding against her chest she was feeling better.

“For this week I want you to take a walk during the day and enjoy the fresh air and relax,” Jill told her as she noticed that the session between her and Y/N was about to end.

“I‘ll try my best,” Y/N murmured as got her stuff ready to leave.

Once she was in the car Y/N was free to cry and break down. Fist tight around the steering wheel and tears rolling down her cheeks she started to hyperventilate. She tried the breathing technique Jill told her to do and surprisingly it worked.

Resting her head against the seat she let out a long breath and a sniffle. Putting her hand on her chest she notes that her heart started to calm down as well.

Taking out a pack of cigarettes, she places the stick between her lips lighting the tub. Y/N sighed as she exhaled smoke and while doing, also subconsciously scratching at some old scars.

Before she noticed the pain she saw blood coming out of her arm.

“Fuck,” Y/N hissed dabbing the cigarette in the ash tray in her car.

Pulling out a napkin she held the wound to keep pressure. She took a breath and put a bandaid on the small wound and closed her eyes from being tired.

Looking at her phone she cursed as she realized she was late for work. She stepped on the gas and booked it to the bar.

——-

Spencer sat at a table with all the papers about the case surrounding them. His teammates are sprouting ideas or anything they could do to find this missing girl before she died.

Spencer narrowed his eyes as he looked at the papers in front of him. He quickly re-read the paper before coming up with a theory. It looked like he had one girl for 3 weeks and killed her then for the last week was spent with the other victim.

“I just don’t understand this guy. He has extreme impatience and aggression but is patient enough to wait another 11 months before killing another girl,” Emily frustratedly said as she ran her fingers through her hair.

“Maybe he’s on a time crunch,” Derek suggested, tapping his pen against the table.

“Yeah but would that be. What could be this important?,” J.J questioned, biting her lip.

“Maybe he’s filming it and keeping it,” Rossi suggested as a lightbulb went off in his head.

“That could be why this unsub is so frustrated when the month of December hits. The videos aren’t just doing it for him anymore,” Hotch explained as his eyes were furrowed.

“What’s going on in your head kid,” Derek asked worriedly, looking over at Spencer.

“Maybe he’s here on vacation,” Spencer said looking up at all of his teammates.

“That’s a possibility,” Emily agreed.

“If you think about approximately 40 million people visit Las Vegas each year for Christmas and New Years,” Spencer explained, playing with his hands.

“And that’s why he videotapes it, so when he goes back home he doesn’t have to do this, where he won’t be suspected,” Rossi explained as the realization dawned on everyone.

“If that is the case, we only have a week before this girl shows up dead and this guy leaves the city,” J.J explains.

“This started three years ago and I’m just confused by something,” Spencer says looking through the papers. Everyone turns to him as he tries to find something.

“There’s a first for everything pretty boy,” Derek teased, patting him on the back as he crossed the room to get more coffee. Spencer rolled his eyes.

“Two girls are taken every December but 3 years ago only one girl showed up dead at the end of the month,” Spencer explained as ideas raked through his mind.

“Maybe that’s when it started,” Hotch guessed.

“This guy is extremely planned out, he sticks to his plan he probably had victims picked out before he got her though,” Emily stood up standing next to the board where all the information laid out. The hunting ground, victim type, characteristics of the killer. Then it dawned on him.

“Get Garcia on the phone,” Spencer demanded.

Everyone looked at him confused but Emily dialed the phone number as Spencer paced nervously. If he was right they could figure out who this guy was and save this girl.

“Finally I’ve been sitting here all day waiting all day to talk and do something,” Garcia's voice came through the speaker, her usual pep in her tone.

“Garcia I need you to look up something for me,” Spencer began to say.

“That’s why I’m here,” Garcia smiled.

“Look up woman who were raped 3 years ago and reported it,” Spencer asked.

“What’s going on Reid,” Rossi asked, confusion swimming in his eyes.

“I’m thinking that the reason we never found this first victim is because she didn’t die,” Spencer exclaimed as everyone realized what he was saying.

“We might have a victim that can crack this case open for us,” Emily said aloud.

“I’ve got 59 women and that is way too high for my liking,” Garcia's voice came through the line.

“Of all sexual assaults and Rapes 63% aren’t reported so let’s just hope that she went to the police with this information,” Spencer nervously said.

“If not we’ll find a way to find her,” J.J explained, looking at him with soft eyes.

“Okay Garcia apply this, they had cigarette burns, rope burns around their wrist and were kidnapped. Also they have to have Y/HC, Y/E/C, and have to have high risk jobs since he thinks they won’t be missed,” Spencer explained, writing a victim under a faceless picture.

“Only one name came up and it’s Y/N Y/LN, she works at a bar and she came into the police station yelling and screaming that she was kidnapped and raped. Oh poor girl she was taken for 3 weeks and had to run for about 4 miles to the police station,” Garcia explained, sympathy dripping in her voice as she thought about the girl who went through that.

Spencer froze when he heard her name. A name he thought wouldn’t be heard for the rest of his life. He dropped the marker in his hand and ran his fingers through his hair. He missed her and always wondered what had happened to her after that night he left. But now he wished he never knew the pain she went through.

But he knew he had to help Y/N with this so he could help this girl survive as well. Spencer hoped she still lived in Las Vegas, in the apartment that they once shared. His heart pounded against his chest as memories ran through his head, tears pooled in the corner of his eyes as he thought about everything.

“Where does she live,” Hotch asked with a rushness in his voice.

“Already on your IPads,” Garcia smiled.

“Alright thanks baby girl,” Derek hung up the phone before he looked at Spencer who was still gaping at the information that he had just heard. “You okay kid,” He asked, grasping his shoulder.

“Do you know this girl Spence,” J.J asked looking at him with concern.

“When I lived here we used to date, but then I moved here and worked for the BAU. God I can’t believe it I just left in the middle of the night and looked at what happened,” Spencer frustratedly rubbed at his eyes trying to not let the tears fall.

“Reid this isn’t your fault, you couldn’t have known that this would have happened to her,” Emily soothed him as she ran her hand up and down his back. Spencer took a deep breath before nodding, hesitantly agreeing with her.

“If you know this girl Reid I want you, Prentiss and Morgan to go with you to interview her,” Hotch ordered them as Spencer looked at him with wide eyes.

“But-,” Spencer was about to disagree with not going to see his ex he caused pain to.

“Reid, she knows you, she’ll probably be more comfortable around and more willing to help,” Hotch explained, giving him a look.

“But I left without one word. She's going to be reasonably angry,” Spencer sighed.

“That’s why Morgan and Prentiss are going with you,” Hotch left the room with that as his last sentence.

“Reid don’t stress about this, Hotch is right even though she is mad at you she’ll be more comfortable around you,” Emily clarified a smile gracing her lips.

“I hope you’re right,” Spencer mumbled looking at his feet before leaving the building with Morgan and Prentiss.

——-

“Do you ever wonder where you’ll end up. Like will you ever do the thing you dreamed of,” Y/N asks as she lays next to Spencer in an open field where they were watching the sunset.

“No but statistically 43% of Americans are working at their dream jobs and I’m hoping I can be one of those people,” Spencer says as he plays with her hair with his hands.

“At least you have a goal,” Y/N muttered as she shoved her face into the crook of his neck.

“What’s going on Y/N,?” Spencer asked, half worried, half confused. Y/N sighed as she looked up into his beautiful eyes.

“Well you have something you are working towards but here I am still trying to figure out what I’m going to do,” Y/N rambled, playing with the tie he was wearing avoiding eye contact so she didn’t see the pity in his eyes.

Spencer sighed as he brought her closer and caressed his hand on her hip. He knew about the insecurities and worries she has had, especially with something like her career.

“There are a lot of facts I could say about this but all I know is that once you find that thing you want to do, you’ll love it and you’ll be the best you can at it,” Spencer whispered and kissed her forehead while caressing her cheek making her look up at him. She gave him one of her beautiful smiles that could light up a room and that’s all he would ever need. His thumb ran against her cheek bone and Y/N grabbed his hand and kissed the top of his hand.

“You’re always trying to make me feel happy and safe Spence,” Y/N smiles as tears brim her eyes, she wrings her hands with his and he begins to stroke the top of her hand. “But what about you, I want you to feel like that,” She whispers as her voice gets a little raspy.

“As long as I’m with you I will be happy no matter what,” Spencer kissed the back of her hand reassuring her.

“Let me ask you a question Dr. Reid,” Y/N teasingly says with a smirk on her face he nodded bringing her close to his chest. “How many people actually marry their high school sweetheart,” She asks, resting her head on his chest, listening to the calming beat of his heart.

“In 1940s 25% of people actually got married to their high school sweethearts and that number has gotten lower since then, now it’s only 2% of people who actually marry their high school sweetheart. That includes the people who aren’t actually happy or got divorced,” Spencer rambles as Y/N looks up at him with adoration. She’s always loved it whenever he went on one of his fact crusades, she found it adorable when his eyebrows furrowed and small smile graced his face when does it. It causes her heart to skip a beat with nervousness.

But that doesn’t help the uneasiness about what he had said. Only 2% of people get married to their high school lover and she’s hoping actually, prays that her and Spencer are a part of that. Something in stomach suggests something bad is about to happen that would end with her heart broken. But she shakes that feeling off trying to spend the time with the love of her life.

“Let’s just hope that we’re a part of that 2% right,” Y/N smiled and Spencer nodded, giving a little kiss on her lips.

“I know we are.”

——-

Spencer sighs as he shakes the memory out of his brain but his eidetic memory isn’t helping so much. He looked outside of the passenger window at the passing cars as butterflies kept flying around in his stomach. Seeing Y/N again was something he wished for but under these circumstances he wishes they weren’t. He wishes this hadn’t happened to her.

Sighing, he thinks about how he’s going to ask her to relive the worst things that had happened to her without sounding like a jerk. He’s hoping that she’ll be willing to help with the case so that this man could be held to the justice system.

“Since we’re alone what’s the story kid,” Derek asked hands planted around the steering wheel while taking a glance at Spencer.

“What story,” Spencer questioned, although he knew deep down what he was going to ask him.

“Come on Reid it’s just the three of us we won’t tell anyone,” Emily says, sitting in the back coming up between them. Her face was giving off sympathy as she looked at him.

“She was my girlfriend that’s all,” Spencer murdered sinking even further into the seat than he already was. Derek rolled his eyes while Emily sighed.

“Reid, you are one of the only things to get her to open up to us. Are you ready for that if you have too,” Derek questioned with a serious look on his face.

“It’s just, it’s been a while since I have seen her and I don’t think she’ll be willing to talk to me,” Spencer spoke, clearing his throat at the end.

“She’ll probably be angry but still if you guys knew each other for a long period of time, she’ll be more comfortable with you,” Emily reassured him, putting her hand on his shoulder giving it a tap.

“I hope you are right,” Spencer gave her a tight smile through the rear view mirror, trying to calm his heart and the deep feeling in his stomach. “You know I just left,” He whispered as he rubbed his eyes with his hand.

“What do you mean,” Derek asked, confused, looking over at him for just a second as he drove down the street. Emily , just the same as Derek, looked confused.

“I didn’t even break up with her, I just left in the middle of the night and I know it’s one of the worst things I’ve ever done,” Spencer explained through a whisper as tears brimmed in his eyes. Even though he left he still loved her like he did years ago. He couldn’t stop, he even thought about asking Penelope to look her up but stopped himself wanting her to live his life without him.

“It was a long time ago Reid, you can’t let yourself drown in the thoughts of what if,” Emily explained with a comforting tone in her voice.

“Okay you are all about that factual stuff so what’s the statistic for how long it takes for someone to get over a break up,” Derek asked, his eyes still leering on the road.

“Statistically it takes an average person about 3.5 months to heal from a break up, but if it’s a divorce it could take 1.5 years or even more for someone to get over something like that,” Spencer says as he moves his hands along with the words.

“See there you go,” Emily patted Spencer's shoulder.

“But grieving a relationship isn’t about statistics, it's different for every person, this is about how much love you had for the person,” Spencer told them as he looked down at his hands and began to bite his lip to stop crying.

“That is also true,” Emily sadly tells him. “But you can’t just hide in the dark, you have to face the light sometimes,” She explains as Derek parks in front of the bar that Y/N worked at.

“She’s right kid and I know you’re afraid of the dark so run towards that light,” Derek teases a little with a grin on his face. Spencer shakes his head as a tiny grin breaks out on his face. Emily ’s right he can’t just run away from his past because he’s scared of it.

“There’s that smile,” Emily grins. “Now let’s go in.”

——-

Y/N huffs out a breath as she wipes down the bar table. She knows it’s almost about the time where all the drunks come into the place and it’s the time where most customers are there as well.

Let’s just say that Y/N doesn’t like this time of her shift.

It doesn’t make it better that her boss is a dick that is always barking off orders even if she’s on her break which makes her always frustrated. Though it doesn’t seem like the best job, it gets her good money and tips that help pay for her rent.

Although she does get kinda nervous with all these men that might be like him. That he might grab her again and might finish off the job this time. That is what haunts her as she rushes to her car at night with pepper spray in one of her hands while a knife is in the other hand.

Precautions. It helps but it doesn’t help the thoughts that run through her brain.

Her boss doesn’t know about it, maybe if she told him, he would be a little more sympathetic to her situation. Y/N doesn’t want to do that, she doesn’t need the sympathy, she hates it when the spotlight is on her and people give her the look that says they feel bad for her. She just hates it.

As she sits in the back room of the bar on her break, Y/N takes out a letter from her back pocket. It’s a letter from Diana, and she knows it’s weird staying in contact with her ex-boyfriend's mother, but Diana was the only thing in her life that was comfortable.

Her parents weren’t the best of people, just drunks that didn’t give a damn about her, so when she met Spencer and his mother she became dependent on them. And when Spencer left Diana was all that she had left and she couldn’t leave that. It would break her heart even more.

In all reality she didn’t know why Spencer left, she knew he wanted to be in the FBI and she was willing to be by his side through all of that. But it seems like he didn’t want that so she just let him go not wanting to bother him like she already had.

A sudden knock on the door jolted her up as her heart raced wondering who it was.

“Someone’s here for you,” Her boss's voice came through the door and she released a sigh when she heard it. But then the annoyance came to her.

“I’m still on break,” Y/N snapped.

“Well it just ended,” Her boss snapped back.

Y/N sighed in frustration as she bit her lip and almost caused it to bleed. She ran her hands through her hair giving it a small tug. She didn’t have any friends and her family didn’t even want to know her so who is it even.

She takes a deep breath as she tries to think about who’s waiting for her outside that door and she has a bad feeling about it. Y/N prays he hadn’t found her, to come back and finish the job. Her hand touches the cold door knob which makes her get goosebumps.

As soon as she steps out of the door she immediately regrets it. She feels a bit of relief that it wasn’t him but it was also someone else that she didn’t want to see, ever in her life.

“Y/N this is the FBI they want to talk to you about something,” Her boss tells her as she stares at Spencer having all those feelings of sadness and anger coming back. All those feelings being resurfaced, and so long after being buried, it almost doesn’t feel real to Y/N.

It feels surreal almost. That’s the best she could describe it.

The people besides Spencer must be his co-workers but Y/N doesn’t care since all she can focus on is Spencer. Why does he need to talk to her? She hasn't done anything wrong. She knows it’s not about talking to her because he wouldn’t bring his co workers along for that. She controls her breathing before she can start to hyperventilate. Biting her tongue she tries to stop the tears from cascading down her cheeks or even brimming. Not wanting to show him any sort of weakness she crosses her arms over her chest and puts a hard look on her face.

“I thought I was supposed to get back to work,” Y/N looked back at her boss with a little anger in her eyes.

“Well you can’t say no to the FBI,” Her boss muttered. “And can it with the attitude sweetheart,” He says with annoyance coursing through his voice then he leaves without a word and she can’t contain the eye roll that comes out.

“So Spencer what do you need from me, I haven’t done anything illegal so you can’t arrest me,” Y/N asks with bitterness lacing her tone as he wipes down the bar counter with a towel.

“We need to ask you about what happened to you three years ago,” The man next to Spencer tells her. She looks and sees Spencer and the man and woman next to him giving her comforting looks.

Not wanting to talk about it, she comes up with the best solution.

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” Y/N muttered, her voice coming out in a rasp as she looks down at the counter trying to get the stain out even though she knows it will never come out.

She hears Spencer sigh and whisper to the two people beside him and they leave the two of them alone in the silence. Well except for the music and the people yelling and talking. Y/N doesn’t want to look up because all she’ll is sympathy swarming in his eyes and she doesn’t want it. She doesn’t want or need this sympathy, especially from him.

“Y/N please,” Spencer whispers his voice, she can hear the sadness seeping through the words and she doesn’t want to look into those beautiful eyes she loves so much because she’ll just break if she does.

“What Spencer,” Y/N questioned in a tiny voice, all the confidence already leaked from her body as soon as they mentioned what happened three years ago.

Spencer put his hand on top of hers, making her stop cleaning, and gave it a tiny squeeze. She released a shaky breath she didn’t know she was holding. Feeling his touch after years is almost dreamlike, closing her eyes she refuses to look him in the eyes as he caresses the back of her hand with his thumb.

“I know this is hard,” Spencer says softly in a comforting tone that makes Y/N feel safe, and she hadn’t felt that in a while.

“I don’t know what you are talking about Spence,” Y/N rushed out continuing with the lie.

“We need to know something about the man who took you,” Spencer questioned her gently, trying to make her as comfortable as possible.

“Why do you need to know,” Y/N asks with a trembling tone, that’s when the tears finally start to brim at her eyes. Her bottom lip wobbles as her eyes stay trained on her and Spencers joined hands, stubbornly not looking him in the eyes.

“Because he has taken another woman and we need to stop him,” Spencer explains with a tender tone coursing through his words.

When Y/N finally looks at his face she almost breaks down, the same face she used to wake up to every morning, the same face she saw everyday, the same face she saw before he left. Not only seeing him makes her break but seeing the saddened expression on his face makes everything worse.

Spencer almost gasps when Y/N finally looks him in the eyes. He regrets doing this almost immediately when he sees the tears in the corner of her eyes begging for an escape. He hates it. Even though this is what he expected, he hates seeing her cry or even sad. Sometimes he hates having an eidetic memory because he remembers everything he did with her, said to her, everytime he held her, she held him. She’s different, and why wouldn’t she be, she went through a horrific experience. Spencer's thumb never stopped it’s movements, his brain still wanting to comfort her.

“What would I be doing,” Y/N asks as a lone tear trails down the apple of her cheeks. Spencer restrains himself using his hand to wipe it away.

“We would be walking you through the experience—,” Spencer began to say and Y/N immediately cut him off, removing his gentle hand from hers.

“Nope, no way, no I will not relive that,” Y/N snaps anger now lacing her tone, venom seeping through the words and Spencer understands why she wouldn't want to do this.

“I will be there with you the whole time and we won’t ask about anything that happened during the rape just about his face and your escape,” Spencer explains his voice more firm now.

“I can’t go through that again,” Y/N whimpers, biting her lip as the tears that were begging to escape finally make their run down her cheeks.

Spencer grabs both of her hands as he looks her straight in the eyes, his eyes are comforting to her and reminds her of an easier time. His face shows sadness and reassurance at the same time. Y/N looks at him in awe.

“Y/N I swear on my life that I will be by your side throughout this, I will be there when we catch this guy and he finally goes to jail,” Spencer promises with a determined tone seeping through his words. Honesty leaks through his every pore and Y/N sees that.

“Are you really going to be by my side throughout it all,” Y/N whispers as the tears don’t stop descending down her cheeks.

“Not even to get something to drink,” Spencer gives her hands a gentle squeeze.

“Well that’ll be hard with your coffee addiction,” Y/N teases slightly as tears remain on her cheeks. Spencer gives her a little smile that makes her heart beat a little faster.

“Let’s go down to the station.”

——-

She can feel Spencer's cold hands on her neck as he puts the necklace around her neck. He wanted to surprise her by getting a necklace that she’s been looking at for a few months. She was elated when she opened the gift.

The look on her face he would never let go, she looked so happy.

As soon as Spencer's hands left the back of her neck she felt even colder without his touch for some weird reason. Whenever he touched her, it made her feel empty. She hated that feeling and she felt like she couldn’t live without it. She turned around and saw Spencer give her one of his awkward adorable grins she couldn’t get enough of.

Wrapping her arms around his waist, his scent engulfed her senses and felt safe. Spencer’s arms wrapped around her shoulders as he put his head in the crook of her neck taking a deep breath, breathing in her scent of lilacs and daisies.

“Thank you so much Spence you didn’t have to do that,” Y/N whispered, her words making shivers go down his spine as she breathed on his neck. Her head went to snuggle in his chest enjoying the warmth that came from that.

“I know you’ve been wanting that for months so I wanted to do something nice for you,” Spencer whispered as he caressed her back.

“But—,” She was about to protest until Spencer interrupted her.

“I will not take no for an answer, I want you to have this, it’s the least I can do,” Spencer firmly whispers in her ear making goosebumps appear on her skin.

“What have I done for you to receive something like this,” Y/N murmured, insecurity started to fill every part of her body, she didn’t know what she did to deserve something this good.

“Just you being you,” Spencer muttered, planting a kiss on her collarbone.

Sniffling she started to feel tears brim at her eyes, not out of sadness but happiness, knowing she meant so much to him made her chest fill up with joy and happiness.

“Please don’t cry,” Spencer whispered as he felt tears stain his shirt. The only thing in life he hated to see was her hurt or her crying. He hated that he couldn’t make her feel better and make the tears stop trailing down her cheeks and make their destination on his shirt.

“Isn’t there some sort of scientific thing about crying being helpful to stress,” Y/N teasingly asked as they stood against each other. A grin etched onto her face as soon as he began to talk. Y/N loved it when he talked, his face would light up with happiness about whatever fact he was spewing, she couldn’t get enough of it.

“There are three different types of tears: reflex tears, continuous tears, and emotional tears. Emotional tears are the tears that offer the most mental health benefits. Researchers have established that crying releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, also known as endorphins. These feel-good chemicals help ease both physical and emotional pain,” Spencer rambled making Y/N hum into his chest loving the way he gets so excited about something small as tears. The man in front of her she wanted to marry someday. She wanted to have kids, grandkids and his future with hers.

The two of them just stand there as they enjoy the warmth and presence of each other. Everything was so calm and silent you could hear a pin drop. During Spencer's ramble he moved his head to rest on hers as her head remained in his chest, taking deep breaths of his soothing scent.

“Please don’t ever leave,” Y/N asked with a whisper moving her head to the side so she could hear the consistent sound of his heart beat.

“Why would I leave you, I have everything I want here,” Spencer asked as his voice croaked a bit, feeling tears soar to the corner of his eyes.

“I hate it when you cry too, you know,” Y/N stated with a little smile traveling to the corners of her mouth.

She pulled back from his chest much to his protest and put her cold hands on his cheeks wiping the tears away. Y/N leaned on her tippy toes giving him a kiss on the corner of his mouth as her thumb drew circles on his cheek bone making him feel even more relaxed.

“Glad to know we’re on the same page length,” Spencer teased with a grin developing on his face. With the tears on his cheeks and eyes but a grin on his lips, his face looks like juxtaposition.

Y/N laughed wrapping her arms around his neck as Spencers travelled down to her waist. She leaned up and kissed him, immediately receiving a kiss back.

Spencer and Y/N stood there kissing for a minute before pulling away and just staring into each other’s eyes. His eyes sparkled as he looked deep into her soul and it felt like with one look he could just know what she was thinking. Instead of scaring her it makes her feel comforted. Like she had someone who knew her enough to know that. To have someone love her made her heart grow almost 3 sizes like the grinch.

“I’ll always love you Spence.”

“And I’ll always love you.”

——-

Y/N took a deep breath sitting in one of the conference rooms in the police station. Her knee jittering up and down was the only sound in the room. Finding the necklace around her neck she began to fiddle with the old piece of jewelry.

Even after these years she kept it. Kept it to remember him and all the good memories that he gave her. The smiles, the cuddles, the nights she just listened to him talk about random facts.

Smiling to herself she remembers when he gave the necklace to her. It wasn’t even her birthday, Christmas, or valentines. It was just a random day he decided to give it to her.

Letting shaky breaths out as she remembers those nights, those memories are the only thing that outrides the horrible memories with him. They’re the only thing keeping her safe and she felt like she was about to give that up.

Spencer stood outside the room waiting for Hotch to give him the go ahead to talk to her. He felt almost sick to his stomach with nerves. Even though he had to do this it felt like he was doing something horrible by asking her, the person he’s loved the longest, to relive the worst things that have ever happened to her.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to do it Spence, she might be more comfortable with a female,” J.J. asked as she put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Emily and Derek who were standing besides Spencer knew that Spencer was the only one who could talk to her about this, but J.J. didn’t see the conversation between Spencer and Y/N.

While Spencer and Y/N were talking, Derek and Emily were watching from afar hoping she would help them find this killer. They saw her relax with him, and they knew that she needed to be relaxed to do this.

“I don’t know J.J. you didn’t see her react with Spencer, she felt comfortable with him, when she released a sigh after you put your hand on hers,” Emily says with doubt that she could be like that with J.J. Derek nodded agreeing with Emily.

“Pretty boys our only way in,” Derek says, patting Spencer on the back.

Startled Spencer jumped not even listening to the conversation he was supposed to be involved in. He was too entranced by her, the way she grasped the necklace he gave her. He smiles at the memory, and at the fact that she kept the necklace he gave her. But he also saw the way her knee kept bouncing up and down and taking deep breaths.

She was anxious. Which was understandable.

“Okay Spencer you’ll be the one to do the EMDR with her, everything’s set up in there, if she wants to take a break she’s more than welcomed to take a breath,” Hotch told Spencer as he came up to him with Rossi by his side.

“You okay kid,” Rossi asked with concern, lacing his tone.

“Yes don’t worry about me,” Spencer firmly said as he rubbed his eyes.

Everyone watched him with worried glances as he entered the room Y/N was in.

Spencer gave her a tight Smile as he stood in front of her with his fingers wringed. She gave him a smile back and he could see the tears brimming her eyes. Years later he still hated that.

“It won’t take long will it,” Y/N whispered as she felt her throat tightened as an invisible hand came up to choke her. She swallowed a little, feeling her throat start to dry up. Spencer looked at her with worryness swarming those beautiful eyes she loves so much.

“It depends on your definition of long,” Spencer responded as he took a seat next to her. She saw the light they put up in front of her and she felt her heart in her throat as they were doing that.

“Like all night long, I kinda have a dog I need to feed,” Y/N says as she releases a shaky breath she’s been holding for too long.

“It shouldn’t take that long,” Spencer answered.

“Okay what is this EMDR therapy and how does it work,” Y/N asks, she just wanted to eat this done and over with. She stands up knowing she’ll have to be eye level with the light. Spencer followed in suit standing right next to her.

“EMDR therapy is a phased, focused approach to treating trauma and other symptoms by reconnecting the traumatized person, in this case you, in a safe and measured way to the images, self-thoughts, emotions, and body sensations associated with the trauma, and allowing the natural healing powers of the brain to move toward adaptive resolution. It is based on the idea that symptoms occur when trauma and other negative or challenging experiences overwhelm the brain’s natural ability to heal, and that the healing process can be facilitated and completed through bilateral stimulation while the client is re-experiencing the trauma in the context of the safe environment of the therapist’s office. Romas Buivydas, PhD, LMHC, vice president of clinical development for Spectrum Health Systems, says EMDR therapy is an eight-phase treatment. “It identifies and addresses traumatic experiences that have overwhelmed the brain’s natural coping capacity, and, as a result, have created traumatic symptoms, such as flashbacks or anxiety, or harmful coping strategies, such as isolating behavior and self-medication with alcohol or drugs,”” Spencer explains taking multiple breaths in between breaths. Y/N looks at him in shock at the huge pile of information she has just received from him.

“Okay what type of EMDR therapy am I doing, I know there are different types,” Y/N asks with a tiny voice.

“Since you probably already saw the light we were doing the eye movement one, you’ll stand right here,” Spencer put his hands on her shoulders and moved her a little to the left. “And you’ll keep your eye on the moving light, at first I’ll ask you to have a happy memory, then we’ll move into the other stuff at your pace,” He explains.

Y/N nods and takes a deep breath while closing her eyes for a minute. She can already feel the tears try to escape from her eyes, feeling like a prisoner. Opening her eyes, Spencer notices the shine from the tears and he tries to give her a comforting smile.

“Let’s get this over with,” Y/N mutters, balling her fist at her sides.

Spencer nods going to the light stand and turning it on and she stares into the green light going back and forth. She can already see herself getting hypnotized by it. Spencer returns to her side but also gives her some space.

“Okay Y/N tell me about a memory that makes you feel happy,” Spencer asks in a hushed tone. Y/N nods as her eyes continue to follow the light.

“The memory where we first met is still one of the happiest memories that I’ve ever had,” Y/N explains as the green light fades into that memory, seeing herself talk to Spencer when the two of you were just young.

“I remember that,” Spencer smiles at the memory, remembering every minute of that day. “Anyways explain to me how you felt, or even what you smelt that day,” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck, he can feel his nerves start to peak.

“I remember,” Y/N begans to say as she takes a deep breath trying to remember what it smelt like. “It smelt like spring, right after it rained and while the flowers are blooming,” She smiles as the smell of the flowers enters her nose. “Meeting you felt nervous because I’ve never had any friends and wanted to make an impression on you since you were a child prodigy,” She explains as he frowns, she’s never told him that. “But then I began to feel more happy with you when I figured out you wanted to be my friend as well,” She says as a tiny smile begins to form on her lips.

“Now tell me about what you saw and what did you feel,” Spencer asks, scratching his jaw as he looks at her, stilling following the light. He knows he’s gonna have to ask the hard hitting questions soon and he’s not looking forward to it.

“I saw the park filled with little kids who look like they’re having the times of their lives, I also see you talking to me and I feel nervous since I’ve always been a pretty shy kid,” Y/N mutters as she picks at the skin around her nails. She feels herself finally relaxed as she stands in the memory.

“Are you ready to move onto the other questions,” Spencer quietly asks, feeling his heart beat against his chest as he asks her. Y/N bites her lip, her eyes on the lights and is still deep in the memory. As much as she doesn’t want to do this she has to, she has to do this for other women who can get their lives saved.

“Yes,” Y/N answers quickly.

“Okay now go back to the night that you escaped, what did you feel against your skin, look around you what do you see,” Spencer questions trying to pressure her, to make her overwhelmed.

The memory changes right in front of her and now she’s lying on the bed with her arms tied around her back. She can feel cloth in her mouth as her body aches.

“I feel myself on a cot or bed thing with ropes that are tied behind my back and my feet are tied as well. There’s a cloth in my mouth to keep me from screaming,” Y/N explains with a quiver in her tone. She looks around and notices she’s in the middle of the room, the bed frame. Looking across the room, she notices the door that’s cracked a little and sees the light. “I’m in a room and there’s a door across from me and it’s open, and all I’m thinking is this is my chance,” She explains as tears stroll down her cheeks. “There’s a knife on a table across from the bed.”

“What do you do next Y/N,” Spencer cautiously asks, not trying to press any buttons.

“I get up and hop to get the knife, I turn around and pick up the knife and carefully start to cut up the rope,” Y/N quietly explains as Spencer watches her intently. “Usually rope is thick but this is thin and it’s tight,” She explains herself even though she didn’t have to. “Anyways it takes me about 5 minutes to get the dam rope off and once I’m free I take off the rope from around my feet and the cloth that was inside my mouth,” She rushes out as she feels anger course her body.

“Okay slow down and look around the room, do you see anything that stands out that might identify this guy,” Spencer asks in a comforting tone and she feels safe whenever he talks. She doesn’t understand it but maybe it’s because she knows him.

Y/N looks around the room and notices something on the dresser where the knife was at. “I see a picture frame and he’s in it,” Y/N says with panic in her voice as she hears something down stairs.

“Who else is in the picture Y/N,” Spencer asks as he starts to get somewhere.

“I don’t know I hear something down stairs,” Y/N explains harshly. “It takes my attention away from the picture.”

“What’d you hear,” Spencer quickly asks.

“Children laughing along with a woman telling them to calm down,” Y/N explains as tears continue to spill out of her eyes. “I hear his voice and I know it’s my only chance, I hear the door close and I carefully walk to the window and look outside of it and I see him and he’s looking straight at me,” Y/N whispered horsey as her throat tightens as he sees his hard stare. “I have to go, I have to get out of this house before he gets me again. I run down the stairs and head straight out the back door just in my tank top and shorts and run like hell not looking behind me because all I know is he’s right behind me to bring me back to that hellhole,” She she’s out as she looks away from the light and a sobs rakes through her body.

She puts her hand on her mouth to subdue the cries but she knows the escape right through her fingers.

“It’s okay you’re safe now,” Spencer coos her as he steps towards her. She turns around him with tears pouring through. “Don’t worry you’re not there with him anymore,” He whispers.

As she sobs she wraps her arms around his waist and cries into his chest. Immediately he wraps his arms around her shoulders as he whispers comforting words into her ear telling her she’s fine and she’s safe now. He caresses her back trying to comfort her more.

“Did I help,” Y/N shakily asks in between sobs as she looks up at him with tear stained cheeks, whilst tears are still pouring out.

“You did but you don’t have to worry about that now,” Spencer whispers as she nods. “Okay breath in and out copy my breathing,” He says. He takes a deep breath and she follows breathing. He breathes out and she follows again. He does this a few more times until she feels calmer than before.

Resting her head on his chest he rubs her arms up and down softly trying to soothe her. He kisses the top of her head as he brings them down to sit on the couch where she almost immediately curled up to his side.

Even though Spencer’s mind should be on the case, and should be going out of the room to debrief with his teammates, all he could think about was Y/N. She was the only thing on his mind as she let out tiny sobs into his chest, he couldn’t just leave her especially in this state. She needed him and he was going to be here to help her through this.

His hand was trailing down her back, doing a soothing technique and it worked. He could feel her breathing start to slow down and her sobs start to die down and she was now starting to feel a bit drowsy. Letting her rest her head on his chest, she dug her head even further into his shirt as she began to fall asleep.

Spencer didn’t care. She needed this. Some sleep after this stressful day.

As soon as she was asleep Spencer took this time to examine her, she was relaxed. It made him happy that she could get some restful sleep. He brought his hand to her forehead and brushed some of the hair away and leaned down to peck it. He froze as he felt her shuffle but then relaxed as she immediately fell asleep again.

The hand on her back never stopped caressing as he wanted to make sure she could get more sleep. He was going to have to move soon, his teams going to need help with the case but for the moment he could sit here and comfort her while she slept.

On the other side of the room the team looked in on them in shock about what they just heard.

“We never profiled that he had a family,” J.J whispered, still a little in shock. The team tore their gaze away from Spencer and Y/N and went to the whiteboard where the information was laid out.

“It might not be the family, just the father and the others oblivious,” Derek suggested sitting on the edge of one of the desks.

“I mean I get the kids not knowing that there's some woman upstairs in a room but the wife has to know something, any wife would be suspicious that her husband would be sneaking out of the room and into another. She can't be that naive,” Emily explained her theory.

“You’re right she’s either involved or just knows and doesn’t say anything to protect her family,” Hotch says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“It could be out of fear,” Rossi suggested.

“I don’t think so if it was out of fear it seems like she would’ve gotten out of his household a long time ago, at least to protect her kids from some rapist murder,” JJ interjected.

“We’ll figure this out later when we catch the guy for now let’s get Garcia on the phone.”

——-

Feeling someone shake her away Y/N shot up from Spencer’s chest as he looked at her with guilt. She stretched her arms looking at the clock, noticing it was late, 12:00 am late. Letting out a yawn she stands up trying to get her bones less stiff.

“Sorry for waking you but my team has just had a breakthrough and we might have found the guy,” Spencer says standing up right beside her. Y/N widened her eyes in shock and little happiness. Spencer can see it in her face, hope, hope for the man who did this to her is finally going to be caught and brought to justice. Her eyes lit up like the sun when he said those words.

“Really,” Y/N gasped out.

“Yes but I need you to look at some pictures to see if this is the right guy, if you don’t want to do this-,” Spencer began to say but was interrupted by Y/N.

“No let me see him so you can lock this bastard in jail where he’ll never ever see the light of day,” Y/N snapped as she felt fire coursing through her body. She could feel the heat crawling up her body and to her face as she became angrier and wanting to find this guy.

“Okay,” Spencer responded calmly, a little surprised by her outburst but he knows it’s understandable. He grabbed out a picture that Hotch printed out and gave it to her. “Is it him,” He asks as her eyes scanned the picture.

It was. He could see it in her eyes. The panic, the fear. Looking at her now suddenly stiff body he could definitely see it. Her fingers squeezed around the paper and it crumpled a bit, her breathing began to become more and more shallow. Feeling her heart in her throat while looking at the man of her nightmares, she tried to say it was him but her breathing couldn’t let her do it. She could feel his hands around her throat again as if he was really here choking the life out of her.

Spencer took the picture of the man out of her hand and wrapped his arms around her shoulder as she buried her head into the crook of his neck as she finally broke down crying. His hand returned to her back and began to caress again trying to soothe her. But all he could feel was her sobs coursing throughout her whole entire body. All Spencer could do now was hold her while she cried her heart out.

Looking up Spencer nodded to Hotch who was on the other side of the glass. Deciding to leave them alone Hotch went back to the team as they found the address of the guy and were preparing to go and arrest him, and possibly his wife.

While the team was out getting the guy Spencer stayed back with Y/N, trying to keep her calm. Eventually she dosed down the crying and removed herself from his chest and looked up with tear stained cheeks.

“Are they gonna go get him now,” Y/N asks while whispering it in a hoarse manner. Her throat was almost raw from the crying and it was starting to affect her.

“Yeah they just left 22 minutes ago, it shouldn’t be much time since the guy was staying in a cabin and it’s not a long drive unless there’s traffic and that’s a whole different story,” Spencer rambled which made Y/N crack a smile. She loves his little rambles.

“I’m so glad you came here,” Y/N whispered as she wrapped her arms around her body, starting to feel insecure. “If you hadn’t this guy might have killed more girls and haunted the life out of me for the rest of my life,” She murmured under her breath.

“I missed you,” Spencer mumbled, trying to avoid eye contact with her as he rubbed the back of his hand, a self soothing manner he’s learned.

“I missed you too,” Y/N whispered, her hand was going to one of her scars but Spencer caught it before it made contact with her skin. She looked at him confused.

“You don’t need to do that anymore, he’s going away for life,” Spencer whispered as he stepped closer to her. His voice was firm but soft and comforting at the same time.

Before Y/N could say anything she looked out the window that stood near the door and saw him. He was in handcuffs as he had a black eye. She gasped as she saw a woman who was right behind him, also handcuffed.

She turned around, letting a gasp out in relief.

“See he won't ever hurt you again and I will make sure of it myself that he gets the maximum penalty and he will never ever see anything besides a four by four cell,” Spencer says with a twinge of anger seeping into his veins and he hopes he hadn’t scared her with his angry rant.

Instead of being scared she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head into his shoulder and let out a few tears but instead of being sad and out of fear, this time it was happy. She was happy that this made could never ever hurt anyone including her. Although she knows his face will haunt her nightmares forever she can have the peace of knowing he can't hurt anyone.

“Thank you so much Spencer,” Y/N trembled against his frame as relief flooded her body. His arms immediately went to her waist hugging her back.

“We wouldn’t have been able to have done it without your help,” Spencer whispered in her ear.

#spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds x oc #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds oneshot #criminal minds smut #criminal minds #trigger warning rape

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cloudlessly-light · 2 years

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I have had this idea for a while, however I was waiting until you opened your request newly!

So, Hotch is still dealing with his ex wife's death, when after a drunken night, has sex with Emily and gets pregnant.

Hi Anon! When I got this ask I immediately knew I wanted to do it but I've been working on it for a while. I do hope you like it though, since this was new for me.

Title: The greatest thing that I have achieved Chapter one: I thought it’d feel different Summary: After Haley’s death, Aaron isn’t sure how to move on from the grief. Then one night, months later he finds himself falling into bed with Emily, his best friend and that changes everything. Word Count: 2,1k Rating: Explicit Warnings: Smut, consumption of alcohol, pregnancy, grief, fluff, angst, idiots in love

Haley, I don’t really know how to start this, started writing this letter almost ten times. I don’t know what to say except for that I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for your life ending because of choices I made, I’m sorry that Jack will grow up without you. I know I will never measure up to be the parent you were, but I promise you that I will try my hardest.

It’s been two weeks since we buried you and it’s been the hardest two weeks of my life. It was Emily who suggested that I’d write to you, to come here and read you this letter. She’s been a rock through all of this and I’m grateful. I know you always liked her, Jack likes her too.

I will spend forever missing you and I will try and make this up to Jack every day for the rest of my days. He’s so strong, our boy, so similar to you. He’s hurting but somehow he’s surviving, I know that’s something he inherited from you.

I miss you - Aaron.

When Haley died, Aaron isn’t really sure how to deal with it all, the guilt, the loss, the hurt and sadness, how to deal with Jack and being a single parent while still working the odd hours that he had to. It was like a part of him died with her and for months he felt like he was floating in between asleep and awake. He forced himself to put his all into Jack, tried to focus just enough at work for no one to notice just how much he was struggling. It wasn’t that he was still in love with Haley, he had grieved the loss of her and their marriage before George Foyet. But the guilt of knowing that Haley was dead because of him and the choices he had made, that Jack would grow up without his mother, that Jessica had to go on without her sister, it was all-consuming.

The first few weeks seem unbearable, not that no one thought it would be any different. Most of the team stayed away but sent something every few days, weather if was a text to let him know that he had them to lean on, or actual gifts sent to him and Jack, mostly from Penelope. Dave would show up with food and words of wisdom he wasn’t really interested in, and then there was Emily, walking through his door without permission and sitting on the couch, sometimes with a bottle of wine, sometimes with something stronger. But always a support.

They didn’t always talk, but she refused to leave him alone. He thinks it’s her own guilt for not showing up at his apartment sooner when he was stabbed, for not being there in time to save Haley. He didn’t really mind, it was nice having her around, even when she pushed his buttons. Being around her made him feel something besides at a loss and he welcomed the change with open arms. Somewhere deep down he knew that he let her in because he had felt something more than friendship towards her, but then George Foyet came crashing into their lives and everything, including them, was put on hold.

Then it’s been a few months and the grief is still there, the pain and guilt still seeping through every pore, filling him until it was all he could feel. He didn’t know if it would ever go away completely, if it would ever make sense that he would go on living in a world where Haley didn’t exist. He wished for it, and yet he dreaded it.

Emily is still there, he could feel her eyes on him, and it was a source of comfort knowing that she was there. They had gotten even closer, how could they not after the year they’d had. She didn’t treat him like he was broken, didn’t look at him like he would fall apart even though she’d seen him do exactly that many times by now. He let himself relax with her like he didn’t do with anybody else.

Six months go by and he can almost pretend like most days doesn’t hurt, like the smile that feels fake by now is genuine. It’s another case solved when they get back to Quantico, spirits heightened because for once they managed to get a child back to her family in time, they saved a young girl without too much emotional trauma and no physical injury. It was as good as it was ever going to get and the joy was infectious, even making him laugh as Derek joked around with Spencer and Emily in the elevator going up.

“We should go out, what do you say?” Dave asks just as the doors open and Penelope greets then like she normally does. “Tonight is a night to celebrate.”

“Drinks, are we going for drinks?” Penelope looks excited as she looks at Derek’s wide grin while Emily and JJ both nod, the blondes happiness always putting smiles on their faces.

“Sure, why not.” Aaron agrees, knowing that nothing but the silence of his apartment was waiting for him at home since Jessica had Jack until the morning.

It’s happy murmurs going around the team, it’s the first time since Haley’s death that he had agreed to come out with them, it felt like a good sign for the whole team. He catches Emily’s smile, warm and familiar and he can’t help but to smile back.

Not even an hour later they’re out at a jazz bar, a place Dave frequented often enough for them to all get a booth with a good view of the stage with a live band but far enough for them to be able to talk over the music.

Conversations flow easily, laughs and jokes being told in a way that felt almost distant to him now. It was good, it was fun and Aaron almost feels the way he used to feel. It was a foreign feeling, but a good one.

He had no idea when the glasses turned into bottles, didn’t realize how many drinks he’d actually had until he found himself on the dance floor with JJ, the blonde spinning around while laughing.

“Who knew you had moves Hotch?” She teases and he can’t help but to laugh as she spins around again.

“Hey I danced at cotillion.” He defends himself as JJ comes back to grasp at his shoulder. He can tell that she’s about to say something but she turns at the sound of the familiar voice of her best friend.

“Mind if I cut in?” Emily is suddenly there, tapping JJ on the shoulder and her hand falls from his.

“I’m getting Spencer and we’re having a dance off.” The blonde continues to laughs, not caring that this was not the time or place for any dance off. Emily laughs along with her and nods, her grin wide as she takes JJ’s place.

“Spencer stepped on my toes four times, wish her luck.” She’s still laughing as they start swaying to the music, her hand is warm in his, her other hand holding onto his shoulder while his arm wrap around her waist. His hand spread over the small of her back as he tries to memorize the feel of her against him.

“Is that why you cut in, wanted to save your feet from further damage?” He tries not to notice how he’s holding her closer than he had JJ, how the familiar scent of her perfume clouded his senses.

“Well that, and I can’t miss out on a dance with Aaron Hotchner now can I? Who knows when I’ll have this opportunity again.” Her red lips part as she smiles wide, her hand squeezing his a little tighter and he can feel the corners of his mouth lift in response.

Even through his alcohol fogged brain he can see her glassy eyes, can feel the slight stumble as they move, he’s pretty sure she’s had as much as him to drink and it made him feel a little better about his own state of inebriation.

“Just seizing the moment is that it, Prentiss?” He spins her around and she follows him, only for him to pull her back to him. She stumbles again and falls against his chest and his hand tightens on the small of her back, keeping her even tighter against him.

“That’s right.” She tries to ignore the way her body reacts to his proximity, swallows hard when his large hand spreads over her lower back. She knew that before Foyet, before everything went to hell, that they had been toeing the line of something more, but after Haley all of that had naturally been pushed aside. It wasn’t their time, but when his breath fell against her cheek and she moved closer to him, all of that seemed to disappear.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked with a small smirk and dark eyes and she knew that he had caught her staring at his lips. She looks up at him and even though she knows it’s stupid, the lust and alcohol made all the reasons of why she shouldn’t seem inconsequential. She wanted him, even if it was just for one night.

“I was thinking about what your lips would feel like.” She says instead and for a second everything seems to stop as they stop swaying and he stares down at her.

He can’t deny that the attraction he had felt for her before everything happened was still there, couldn’t deny the way his body was already reacting to her. For just one night, he wanted to let himself forget. He didn’t want to think about tomorrow, didn’t want to do anything except what his body was screaming at him to give in to. He breathes a sigh, pulls her close enough to whisper in her ear.

“You want to find out?”

So that’s how he finds himself in his apartment with Emily naked and moaning as she chases his lips with her own. He was pinning her down, kept her underneath him as he fucked into her with heavy thrusts of his hips.

“Don’t stop.” She whimpered through hazy eyes and breathless pants. He has her arms pinned above her head and her arms twitch in his hold, feeling her own need to touch him.

He wouldn’t have dreamt of stopping, not when she was trembling the way she was, her body slowly giving in to him.

“Let go.” He groaned against her neck before licking over sweaty skin, her pulse beating wildly against his tongue.

Emily came with a broken moan, raw and loud and he didn’t think he’d ever heard anything more beautiful. He kisses her once she’s come down, lets go of her wrists and lets her turn them around until she’s straddling his hips.

She smiles at him as she starts to roll her hips against his, his eyes moving over her curves and pale skin before landing on her face.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” He lets out before she kisses him. She moves above him until she’s coming again, his name a plea on her lips. He comes only moments after she does, her shaking body and breathless moaning enough to push him over the edge. When she collapses besides him she’s panting and laughing and he finds himself laughing as well. In between the blur of pleasure and alcohol and them, everything seemed a little easier.

He wakes up the next morning with one of the worst hangover’s he’s ever had in his entire life, the previous night coming back in bits and pieces. He turns to look at Emily, that part of the night more hazy than anything, but he could still taste her on his tongue, could still smell her on his sheets. But she isn’t there, the space beside him empty, only a note on the pillow left behind.

Hotch, I didn’t want to wake you but I know that Jessica is dropping off Jack today and I thought that it was best that I’d leave before he came. I’ll see you at the office on Monday.

He’s not really sure what to feel, doesn’t know if he’s relieved or not about her leaving before they had a chance to talk. They had made a stupid decision based of alcohol and lust, and now they’d have to deal with the consequences.

“Fuck.”

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