#writing it has brought e the greatest joy though

[sugarpasteltmnt]

Hi! Sorry if it's a little bit late, I just wanted to say: Happy Anniversary!!! 🥳

WAAAAAAA THANK YOU

[paniwarhamauser]

I just realized I never finished posting Grot crusade write-ups here! Last was week 3! And that Crusade has ended back in May, and new one starts in a month😅

Guess I'll just dump weeks 4-10 here all at once.

And also end-of-crusade art for my guy 😁

Week 4

Me and ladz 'ere rollin' around lookin' for da good scrap. And dere it was. Da shiny fishboy Devilfish, dem curves glistenin' in da sun!

Nachurally we WAAAAGH'd!

Fishboyz are ded shooty, but you know wot? Stompa is ded STOMPY! 

Afta Bigtoof turned deir kommander into da kanned fishpaste dey 'ere done for!

Only one fishboy on da floaty fingie flew off. Looked so smug too. As if 'e was not running away, but akchually won. Weird...

Speakin' of winnin'. Zippy better deliver on 'is promise to build anuvva Gargant!

Da ladz collected enuff scrap today ta finish da job!

WIN FOR DA GROT WAAAAAGH!

Week 5

Gorksome is da beatiful little Gargant.

Zippy did da mighty gud job. Not dat I'd ever tell it to 'is face. Not givin 'im any ideas of bein betta at sum fings den da greatest Grotboss in 'istory!

And Gork was pleased by it too. We did not even had to look for da fight dis time! Bugboyz came to us!

Dis was a glorius day! Fighting everywhere! Gorksome got to shoot its first targetz! Even Zippy remembered 'e can fight too!

Too bad bugboyz 'ave nuffin' ta scrap. No matter, dey go SQUISH funny! Ladz larfed deir rumps off! And 'e got bugboyz snaks for dayz too!

WIN FOR DA GROT WAAAAGH!

Week 6

'E made it, ladz! Da 'umie Empra's shiny boyz (mega nobz beakies or whateva dese Kustardes are?) came ta fight us! And everywun knows dey fight only da most dangeros foez!

Of course I ALWAYZ knew I am da most dangeros! But 'tis nice ta be aknowleged.

And da best fing? Da stompa went BOOM. Dis was glorius! I almost kried of joy - ta witness da wrath of Gork and Mork wiff me own eyez!

'E even got enuff of goldy scrap ta fix stompa right up.

WIN FOR DA GROT WAAAAAGH!

Week 7

Da fightin' is da most fun, but 'e gotta make anuvva Gargant. And dis means 'e need more scrap.

Mork smiled upon us today. 'E 'eard 'BLOOD FOR DA BLOOD GOD' warcry, and I knew my ladz 'ere sent anuvva gud fight! 

Red and spikey beakies are ded fighty. And dey charge like da best of orkz too. Gotta respect dat! Also dey brought tanks! Wich mean dere was plenty of spikey scrap to collect afta da battle.

Da ladz even charged da spiky rhino and stole deir icon! Scrap and trophiez, da best life all around!

WIN FOR DA GROT WAAAGH!

Week 8

Would you look at dat! Stuntiez again! And dey have a new trukk too! Time to scrap it! WAAAAGH!

'Tis was fun! DAKKA-DAKKA-DAKKA! Dead stuntiez everywhere! 

And den weirdgurl and hammergurl 'ere at it again. Is Gork'n'Mork trying to tell me somefing by sendin' dem at me again? That I should I get a weirdboy and a hammer too? Interestin'...

Either way, a message from Gork and Mork is always a WIN FOR DA GROT WAAAGH!

Week 9

I was an idiot! Surprised at me sayin' dat? Da greatest grotboss is not afraid to admit mistakes!

I thought Devilfish were shiny! But Empra's goldie boyz showed me how wrong I was! Deir gravy-tank is proppa shiny! I 'ave never seen such a beauty in me life before!

Nachurally I called WAAAGH and sent ladz ta get me dat gravy-tank at all costs!

'Tis was a good fight. We krumped deir boss and deir nob too! Gargants are da best! Not as best as me, but close! Though I only cared for gravy-tank, if I'm honest. Nuffin else mattered.

Always keep da eyez on da prize, as dey say!

And wot a prize it is! Now I has da Goldy Throne of me own!

WIN FOR DA GROT WAAAGH!

Week 10

I was sittin' on Da Goldy Throne, surrounded by me trophies, pettin' me squig and thinkin' of changin' me title from Grot Boss to Grot Empra. No uvver boss has Da Goldy Throne, after all!

Me thinkin' was interrupted by watchlad screaming 'SCRAWNIES ON DA HORIZON'

Scrawnies are sure need to be krumped. Let me finish my shroom brew and den we WAAAGH!

W-wot is happenin'? Why I can no move? Wot is dis green glow? Did Gork and Mork came to see me and name me deir new profeet? Now dat's a REAL WIN FOR DA GROT WAAAAGH!

***

Trazyn closed the tessaract and chuckled to himself, - 'Don't you just love when a specimen arranges itself into a nice display, saving me the trouble!'

[inkandpen22]

Fate in Narnia

Pairing: Prince Caspian x Female!Reader

Warnings: none 

Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: A year after the Narnian Revolution, Y/N, Edmund, and Lucy Pevensie are sent back to Narnia. This means the three have a chance to be King and Queens, but most importantly, it means Y/N and Caspian can see each other again. 

Masterlist

I return home from my classes at the university with groceries for dinner. After a long day like today, I’m reminded that it’s just me left to take care of Edmund and Lucy. Peter and Susan joined Mother and Father in America six months ago. They write to us often, promising they’ll send for us too when it’s safer. Honestly, I’m not sure how much longer I can balance classes, work, and picking up the slack for Aunt Beatrice. Her son Eustace and her husband don’t do anything to help around the house. Sometimes it feels like I’m taking care of five people. 

“Edmund! Lucy!” I holler up the stairs after I set the groceries down in the kitchen. 

When I don’t hear a response, I jog up the steps. They should be back from school by now, it’s nearly time for dinner. I hear a commotion coming from my and Lucy’s room. If it’s Edmund and Eustace going at it again I might just scream and I’m supposed to be the more patient older sibling! 

I swing open the door to find Eustace and Edmund fighting. However, my attention is stolen by Lucy standing in front of a picture frame spewing water. 

“What have you three done?!” I rush into the room. 

“It wasn’t us!” Lucy explains, grinning brightly. 

I glance between my sister and the ocean painting frantically. “You mean-” 

Narnia. Caspian. 

Eustace and Edmund finally notice the water swallowing up the room. Edmund hurries over to us. Based on his grin, he’s thinking what we are too. Eustace screams and goes to rip the frame off the wall. 

“I’m just going to smash it!” He threatens. 

“No!” My siblings and I struggle with our cousin for the frame. 

The ice-cold water fills the room in a matter of seconds. We each struggle to kick ourselves to the surface as the furniture of the room starts to float. I close my eyes, afraid of what may happen. I keep kicking to the surface, in the need of air. When I finally reach the top after what feels like an eternity, I take in a deep breath. 

“Swim!” Lucy shouts. “Eustace swim!” 

I snap open my eyes and a massive wooden ship is sailing toward us. I scream and Edmund grabs my arm to get me to start swimming. My brother and I swim like Olympians to get away from the path of the ship. 

“It’s Caspian!” Lucy yells enthused. “Guys, It’s Caspian!” 

Edmund and I halt immediately. Two men swim up and take each of us safely. 

“Caspian,” I repeat breathlessly, searching the surface for him. 

“You’re alright now,” the sailor assures me as he starts guiding me toward the ship. 

“Are we in Narnia?” Edmund asks one of the sailors helping us. 

“Yes, you’re in Narnia,” the man chuckles happily. 

After Edmund and I are brought up on the side of the ship, one of the sailors offers me his hand to help me on. I step onto the deck and immediately start scanning the many faces for the one I want to see most. 

“Y/N!” 

I spin around on my heels and am met with the raven-haired prince I’ve been longing to see. A bright smile appears across my lips as I run across the short distance. He opens his arms to me and I leap into them. He laughs deeply, twirling me around playfully. His embrace is warm and strong, just as I remember. Oh, how I’ve missed him. He lowers me to the deck, but his hands remain on my waist. 

“How long has it been for you?” He checks instantly. 

“A year and you?!”

I can’t hide my worry that it’s been forever. Granted, he looks far too good for it to have been too long. He looks practically the same except for the facial hair. 

“Three years,” he smiles and relief rushes over me. 

“Thank heavens it wasn’t over a thousand again,” I sigh, laughing lightly. 

“You still are older though...” he sucks in air sharply between his teeth. 

“Oh stop it!” I swat his arm playfully. 

“Beautiful as ever I might add,” he compliments and leans in to plant a kiss on my forehead. 

“Caspian!” Ed interrupts joyfully. 

“Edmund!” 

Caspian and Edmund embrace and Lucy comes to join us. Our attention is stolen when Eustace lands on deck failing. 

“Get this rat off of me!” He screams. 

A mouse comes leaping off Eustace and bouncing over to us. 

“Reepicheep!” Lucy gleams. 

“Good to see you again, Rep,” Ed greets. 

The mouse bows to the three of us. “Your Majesties, always a pleasure.” 

Caspian comes up behind me and drapes a blanket over my shoulders. I thank him quietly and wrap the fabric around myself. His hands remain on my shoulders as we watch my cousin go mad. 

“Where in the blazes am I?!” Eustace fusses. 

“You’re on the Dawn Treader! The greatest ship in all of Narnia!” A minotaur announces to Eustace. 

The boy faints instantly, making everyone on the crew laugh, including Caspian and Edmund. Lucy ridicules them. 

“Was it something I said?” The minotaur asks us. 

“No, don’t take it personally. He’s just never been to Narnia,” I explain kindly. “In our world, there aren’t any minotaur.” 

“Oh, interesting,” the creature replies with a shrug. 

Caspian slips his arm around my waist and appears at my side. “See to him will you?” He asks of the sailor. 

“Right away, Your Majesty,” the minotaur bows. 

Caspian then jogs off to the stairs leading up to the helm of the ship. 

“Gentlemen!” Caspian gathers everyone’s attention. “Behold our castaways! Edmund the Just, Lucy the Valiant, and Y/N the Gracious! High King and Queens of Narnia!” 

Each of the sailors gets down on one knee and bow their heads. My brother, sister, and I can’t help but smile. 

Caspian hurries back down and takes my hand to guide all of us inside. “Come! Let’s get you changed and I can show around!” _________________________________________ As the sun starts to set on the horizon, I watch over the side of the ship as the waves hit against the wood. Dolphins play in them, dancing along with the white foam. It reminds me of when I would watch them at sunrise when we lived in Cair Paravel. 

A pair of arms snake around my torso and bring me into their chest. I rest my head back against Caspian and slip my arms over his. He plants a kiss to my temple gently. For a year I’ve missed this. The last time we were in Narnia, Caspian and I hardly had any time after the revolution to settle. It came as a shock when Peter announced we would be returning home. I wasn’t ready to go and Caspian wasn’t ready to say goodbye. It took every ounce of willpower to leave. 

“I have a surprise for you,” Caspian whispers in my ear. 

“Oh do you?” I snicker. 

“Close your eyes,” he instructs with a nod.

Reluctantly, I close my eyes and hold out my hands. I feel a familiar leather sheath and strap brush against my palm as Caspian lowers the object into my hands slowly. 

“Okay, open!” Caspian gleams. 

My eyes flicker open and sure enough, it’s my old weapon gear. “My dual-swords!” 

“I’ve kept them safe since you’ve been gone!” Caspian tells me. 

Over the moon, I spin on my heels and pull him into a hug. I can’t believe he’s kept them with him after all this time and even took the liberty of taking them on the voyage. His arms linger around me and I ponder the feeling. 

“I’ve missed you,” he whispers against my shoulder. 

“Me too,” I mutter solely, resting my cheek against his chest. 

Caspian tightens his embrace upon hearing my words. Three years have gone by for him. A year was long enough to feel like a lifetime to me. 

“So Caspian-” Edmund voices, making Caspian and I part. I place my weapons down on a barrel and lean against the rail behind me. Edmund doesn’t notice my glaring at him for interrupting. “-have you managed to find yourself a queen in the three years we’ve been away?” Edmund asks, amused. 

“Oh uh...” Caspian stammers nervously. 

My lips part as I stare at my brother dumbfounded. “Ed-” 

“No, none to compare to your sister,” Caspian answers to my surprise. 

“Ew,” Edmund grimaces in disgust and cowers off somewhere. 

I turn to Caspian in awe. “Do you really mean that?”

“Every word,” he whispers, reaching up and caressing my cheek. 

I lean into his touch as my eyes fall shut with immense peace. A sense of peace I haven’t felt in over a year. 

“I’ve counted the days, waiting for your return. I knew there was a chance it may never happen, but I couldn’t give up hope. I still love you, Y/N,” he confesses and I open my eyes. “If not more than I did when you left.” 

I step forward, leaning into my press my lips to his softly. The sensation is exactly as I remember, if not better than before. I part from him for a second, resting my forehead against his. Our eyes meet, my Y/E/C ones, and his jet black ones that I adore so much. The eyes I’ve dreamt about each night for the past year. 

“I love you too, Caspian,” I whisper. 

He smiles, releasing a breathless laugh of joy and takes a step back. His hands take both of mine and he rubs them with his thumbs softly. “I... I know you’ve never had a choice and I know I’m asking a lot of you but... will you stay here in Narnia... with me?” 

My eyes search his face at a rapid rate. Is he truly asking me this? I take a moment to consider what he’s really asking me. I would be leaving behind my world forever. I may never see my family again. After all, this could be the last time we ever come back to Narnia. 

“And I know that would mean asking you another question,” he continues. “I have something else for you.” He steps back and lowers himself to one knee. 

My lips part as I start to comprehend what’s happening. The crew takes notices and starts to gather, along with Edmund and Lucy. 

Caspian reaches into his pocket and a reveals a gold floral engraved ring in his palm. “It was my mother’s. I’ve kept it with me, waiting for you to return. I don’t wish to bombard you. I know I’m asking you to make an impossible decision and-”  

“Yes,” I answer. 

“Yes?!” He repeats, rising from his position. 

I laugh, “Yes! Yes, Caspian I will marry you!” 

He wraps his arms around me and lifts me off the deck. “Oh, I love you so much, Y/N!” Above him, I lower my head and bring my lips to his. 

Instantly in my heart, I can feel that my fate was always meant to be forever with Caspian in Narnia.

Masterlist

[darthkruge]

hey could you do a jess mariano x reader where the reader has dyslexia but loves to read. someone at school makes a comment about her being dumb and she gets insecure but jess is super reassuring to the reader about how intelligent she is. also they can either be already dating or have mutual crushes. whatever you think fits better. <3

Jess Mariano x Dyslexic!Reader ~ All of You

Summary: Someone at school insults the dyslexic reader and their boyfriend, Jess, provides reassurance. 

Warnings: Bullying, language, insecurities, I think that’s it? 

Words: 2.1k

A/N: Hey!! I’m so, so sorry this took me so long to get to! I hope you don’t mind, I didn’t mean to keep you in the ask box void. I really enjoyed writing this, so thank you for requesting! I decided to make them already be dating because that’s where my brain went hehe. I hope you like it :)

You walked to school hand-in-hand with your boyfriend, as always. Even though it took him about 15-20 minutes out of the way, Jess never missed walking with you. He hated the thought of you starting your day by yourself and never wanted you to feel forgotten about or lonely. Thus, the tradition began and it has stayed the way you start your day, everyday, for the last few months that you’ve been dating. 

Jess pulled you behind the science building, pressing his lips to yours. Your hands instinctively wove into his hair and his arms wound around your waist, pulling your bodies together. He smiled into the kiss before pulling away from your lips and gently moving his kisses down the side of your neck. You hummed in content before moving to meet his face again, once again pressing your lips to his. 

These stolen moments were what you lived for. You’d never felt too confident in yourself, at least as far as relationships went, and you weren’t used to this kind of affection. Even so, you loved every moment of it. Everything with Jess felt so natural. No matter what, you came first to him and he never failed to show it. 

You both pulled away and he softly kissed your forehead.

“See you after second period?”

“Of course” 

“Okay, love. Text me if you need me. Or if you’re bored. Or if you miss me”

“Oh, yes! That Jess Mariano charm. I’m not sure how I’ll endure two classes without it!”

“I’m sure it’ll prove quite e difficult,” Jess said, laughing. The bell rang and he gave you one last smile before you parted. 

You walked into your English class with a smile on your face, giddy after the experience with him. He made you feel alive. It was the kind of feeling you didn’t know you needed, but once you felt it you couldn’t imagine losing it. 

You sat down in your seat, waiting for the teacher to start class. 

“Okay, everyone. Today we’re just going to be doing some silent reading for the first half of class and then I’ll put you in small groups to work on a new project”

Fuck. Group projects were the fucking worst. Unless you got one of your friends, people were normally assholes and impossible to work with. 

Even though you were upset with the new development, you were excited to have time to read. You pulled out your copy of The Great Gatsby that Jess had lent you and picked up where you last left off. Because you read so much and generally did well or at least half-decent in school, people never assumed you had dyslexia. Lots of people had this false narrative that if you have dyslexia, you must hate reading. It was something you were used to, the stupid comments and assumptions. You tried to not let it get to you but you sometimes felt frustrated. You’d run into loads of ignorant people in your life and while you weren’t ashamed to have dyslexia, you hated having to explain it to every new teacher, every new friend in your life. You never knew how’d they’d react.

Even so, reading was one of your greatest joys in life. Losing yourself in the work, in the story, it was enthralling. You loved to find characters that you connected with. Their emotions were palpable and made you feel validated and less alone. Reading was one of the main things that brought you and Jess together. He knew you had dyslexia and, thankfully, never treated you like you were any less. You were afraid he would break up with you once you told him, but, of course, he didn’t. You were still you, and that’s all he cared about. 

He loved trading books with you and hearing your thoughts on them. In doing so, he felt the two of you were brought closer together. Discussing literature was an almost intimate experience in your relationship. Learning which characters and themes resonated with a person was truly illuminating about their personality and mind. Right now, as you read Gatsby, Jess was reading Pride and Prejudice. You loved Jane Austen, as did Jess, and you completely enjoyed discussing her work. 

After a few moments lost in thought, your teacher’s voice pulled you back to the present. “Alright! Okay so for the group project you will be analyzing the short story “The Lottery” by Shirley Jackson. Please read it together today and discuss what you think the most pertinent theme is. I’ve already assigned the groups and I’ll display them on the board right now.”

Your teacher stepped back and turned on the projector so you could see the groups. Scanning for your name, you internally groaned when you saw who you were with. Sarah, Justin, and Alex. They were all close and their friend group didn’t exactly have the best reputation. You grabbed your bag, walked over to them, and sat down.

“So, y’all just wanna read it? Then just talk about it, I guess. We’re looking for themes, right?” Sarah asked.

Everyone nodded, opening up the copies of the short story placed on your desks. You jumped in and immediately felt yourself pulled into the writing. After a few minutes, your eyes glued to the story, you heard the rest of your group closing their packets. 

“Alright, everyone done?” Justin asked.

“Yeah, you?” Alex said

Sarah nodded in agreement.

You, on the other hand, felt your cheeks flush. You were only about 70% through the story. “Sorry, I just need a bit more time, is that okay?”

“Ugh, fine, whatever. Just hurry up,” Sarah groaned. 

Your face burning, you went back to the reading. It wasn’t like you weren’t trying, you were! They just wouldn’t understand it. You couldn’t count the amount of times people had told you to just “focus more”. It made your blood boil, honestly. It was so dismissive and you couldn't believe people still thought that way. You always focused and it wasn’t your fault, and, yet, morons like these three persisted. After a few more minutes, you heard Alex again.

“Come on! You can’t possibly still be reading?”

“I’m sorry, just-” You sighed, running your hands through your hair. “Please, just a few more minutes?”

“God, you’re so fucking stupid. No wonder no one wants to work with you. All you do is hold people up, you’re a goddamn idiot” Alex said.

Your eyes burned and unshed tears started to push their way up but you fought them down. You wouldn’t let yourself cry in front of them. They didn’t deserve to see how they’d affected you. 

Finally, the bell went off and you were able to leave. Your group glared at you and you realized you  hadn’t discussed the themes. 

“It’s, um, the story’s about the juxtaposition of peace and violence. Even though the people are in a calm, controlled setting, they resort to violence every year. It’s an outdated tradition they keep up and, thus, it highlights the difference between their actions and how they want to be perceived.” You said quickly, voice wavering. 

Your group scoffed before walking off. That didn’t bother you too much. You knew your analysis was accurate and probably far better than anything they could have come up with, even if they’d spent the last 15 minutes of class discussing it. Despite this, you still felt deflated. The shit they’d said, the way they’d treated you? You couldn’t deny it, it got to you. 

You walked over to your locker and put your stuff away. After that, you decided you were just going to go home. You could call the school later and say you were feeling sick or something. Honestly, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You were just so drained, you needed to get away from this place and the people in it.

However, you didn’t want Jess to worry. You sent him a quick text saying you weren’t feeling well and put on your headphones before walking out of the school.

What you didn’t expect was Jess to come flying out of nowhere, appearing by your side as if you’d summoned him.

“Jess! What are you doing? Don’t you have class!”

He shrugged. “You weren’t feeling well. Did you honestly expect I’d leave you by yourself? And, seriously, Y/N, you know I hate this place. You’re the only thing that makes it bearable so if you  wouldn’t be here, why should I?”

You nodded and kept walking forward. Jess looked at you quizzically, trying to decode your dejected state. He kept quiet, knowing not to push you to talk. He trusted you’d come to him when you were ready. Therefore, he simply followed you until you made it off campus, where you turned into a random alley and suddenly stopped walking.

Jess caught himself, almost running right into you. You suddenly turned around, dropped your bag, and bolted right into his chest. He was caught off guard but instinctively brought his arms around you, trying to comfort you. He noticed you were crying, your broken sobs getting muffled in his shirt. He soothingly rubbed his arms up and down your back, desperately trying to give you solace. After you finally quieted down, Jess gently and slowly pulled you back.

His hands gripped your shoulders as he studied your face, your sad gaze meeting his. “What happened?”

“Stupid English, that’s all”

“Come on, Y/N, don’t shut me out. What happened?” He said, his tone kind.

“I-” You trailed off, trying to keep your composure. “Some kids just said some shit. I was just reading slower than them and they said some shit. It’s not a big deal, I just- it got to me, okay?”

“Who?” Jess said, firmly this time.

“Jess-”

“Who, Y/N?”

“Alex, Justin, and Sarah.” 

Jess groaned, rubbing the heels of his hands over his eyes. “Fuck them, Y/N. They’re fucking ridiculous and they don’t know anything about you”

“I know, I know. That’s why I’m so goddamn frustrated! Because, like, it did get to me. Jess- Jess, they’re right. I felt like an idiot today, I felt stupid. And I hate feeling that way!” Hot tears smarmed in your eyes, the frustration and anger bringing them out. 

Jess’s gaze softened. As livid as he felt toward the three of them, he knew that’s not what you needed right now. 

“Hey, hey, hey. Love, take a breath. I’ve got you, okay?” 

You nodded, your breathing shaky from the stress of the day. 

“I’m sorry that happened today. Listen to me, Y/N. You’re so smart. You’re smarter than I am, hell, you’re smarter than anyone at that school! They’ve got nothing on you!”

You looked at him and smiled at his words but shook your head. “You don’t need to do that, Jess”

“Yes, I do. We promised we’d be honest in our relationship, right? Well, that’s all I’m doing. Seriously, Y/N, who else at that school could debate the themes in literature with me like you? Who could discuss the importance of accurate representation in books with me? Who could talk to me about just how influential YA books are and why they should be taken seriously-?”

“They are and they should!” You cut in.

Jess laughs, nodding in agreement. “Exactly!! You’re amazing, Y/N. And I swear those fuckheads are gonna get what’s coming to them”

“Jess-” You warn.

“Okay, okay!” He laughed, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “They just- they messed with you and made you upset and I fucking hate that”

“I hated it too. I hate doubting myself because of my dyslexia. I feel so shit about myself when I get in that headspace and I start spiraling and it gets out of control so fast.” 

“I know. It’s not your fault when those spirals happen. And I know you know this, but I’m just gonna remind you: you’re not any less because you’re dyslexic. It doesn’t make you stupid or anything. It’s a part of you and I love you, all of you”

Your heart swelled at his words. Everyone thought Jess wasn’t good expressing his emotions but you knew the truth. He was quite eloquent when he wanted to be, he just sometimes had trouble with vulnerability. You didn’t blame him for it, with his past it made perfect sense. But when you needed that reassurement, that compassion, you could always count on him for it. 

He moved to place a kiss on your forehead before slinging his arm around your shoulder. “Let’s go home, okay?”

“Okay” You smiled up at him and kissed him once more before tucking your head into his shoulder. He pulled you closer and you grabbed his free hand with yours as you continued to walk through the Stars Hollow streets together.

[ask-iamnotanalicorn]

Previous: The Flim Flam Timeline

The Wasteland Timeline:

This is the story of when Equestria fell.

And this it the story of when Equestria rose again.

The trials began as they always do: with the return of Nightmare Moon. The celestial sisters clashed, and Celestia fell. Heedless of the struggle it would be to keep the Sun set with its alicorn princess banished inside it, Nightmare Moon did just that, determined that her traitorous sister experience Nightmare’s punishment.

Nightmare’s reign of Equestria was strained, but Equestria could have borne it. But within a year, the capital was attacked by the Changelings, desperate to replenish their stores of pony love that had been stymied by the nation’s state of fear and uncertainty. Nightmare Moon was barely managing to repel the threat when the Crystal Empire returned, and King Sombra began to march on her northern borders. With attacks from within and attacks from without, a distrusted leader on the throne, and economic failure rippling across the country as readily as the shifting front lines, the ponies of Equestria were more torn than ever.

So of course that’s when Discord escaped.

The upside of Discord’s release was that it temporarily stopped the fighting. Even King Sombra was smart enough to withdraw in the face of the mad draconequus on a quest of vengeance against all ponies. Queen Chrysalis and Queen Nightmare Moon (who had absconded herself at first sign of Discord’s escape, using every possible trick to keep him from finding her) formed a temporary peace treaty in order to seek a solution - for a world ruled by Discord was useless to all of them. (Granted, the Changelings could withdraw to their protected realm, but Chrysalis had tasted power and wasn’t about to let Discord have it all. She was quite looking forward to stabbing Nightmare Moon in the back afterwards.)

Their solution: a magical contract with the long-imprisoned centaur, Tirek. Tirek was more than happy to oblige. He single-handedly decimated Sombra’s troops, gorging himself on the magic of Crystal Empire and Equestrian ponies alike. It is possible that, if Discord hadn’t come to see what all the fuss was about himself, Tirek would have kept right on gorging to the very limit of the contract that bound him.

When the two titans clashed, the battle that ensued sundered hundreds of miles of landscape. Canterlot bore the greatest brunt; the castle collapsed completely from its cliffside home, the city little more than ruins. Discord’s attacks spread wildly unpredictable waves of chaos magic across much of Equestria. And when at long last Tirek had defeated him and sucked him dry, the lingering effects of that chaos magic stayed rooted in the ground like weeds.

It seemed, for the briefest moment, as if the worst problem was over. But of course, a power-maddened Tirek is a worse threat - because at least Discord doesn’t go out of his way to destroy everything in sight. Drunk on chaos magic, Tirek easily broke the tenuous contract with the queens and set across the landscape, draining ponies by the thousands and carving swaths through the countryside for the sheer wicked joy of destruction. His power was even mighty enough to destroy the changeling hive, overpowering its magical protections.

There was no choice - the two remaining rulers of any species in the land had to either defeat their own creation or face the loss of all they held dear. Nightmare Moon called upon the power of the Moon itself, drawing it nearer to Equestria in a desperate gambit. Tidal waves rocked Equestria’s coastlines, submerging Manehattan and other coastal cities entirely, and the alicorn of the night shone with deadly moonlit radiance as she bombarded Tirek with the full brunt of her power. But even Nightmare Moon at the height of her power was not strong enough to stop Tirek at the height of his, and he struck her down against the surface of the Moon itself. Some of the dislodged chunks rained down on the world, damaging more of not only Equestria, but many other countries on that side of the planet.

Tirek seemed to have won; all he had left to deal with was one small, angry changeling queen. An assured victory, no doubt.

He could not have known how wrong he was. For a changeling might give its magic willingly to a spell like Tirek’s with no ill effects, but an unwilling changeling queen will not be robbed of her power easily. As Tirek’s powers drain magic, so changeling powers drain love - and no one in all the world had such self-love as Tirek. The cycle of Tirek draining her magic and Chrysalis draining his became a self-consuming spell spiral that ultimately imploded upon itself, taking both creatures with it.

The resulting explosion could be heard across the celestial sea. For a few moments, there was something like an artificial sun on the horizon - a sun that had set directly on Equestria.

Then came the silence. After three years of war, devastation, and disasters unlike any the world had ever seen, there was silence.

And as the silence stretched, the survivors stirred.

Earth ponies, pegasi, unicorns, crystal ponies, and zebras; yaks, cows, goats, donkeys, and buffalo; gryphons, dragons, hippogryphs, minotaurs, and changelings: in spite of everything, many had survived. They rose from their hiding places to find an Equestria and Crystal Empire in ruins. No major cities still stood; borders and coastlines were unrecognizable. Large swaths of land once green and lush were barren and blasted, and spots of chaos magic lay in wait for creatures unwise enough to enter them unprotected. The moon hung wrecked in a dark sky, shining in shattered glory down on the devastation that had been the once-rich land of Equestria.

But the great destroyers were gone. None of the titans and tyrants who had brought this destruction down on the country remained. The usual monsters hardly seemed a threat anymore; those who had survived thus far had learned to cope with far worse. They could build new settlements, make new ways of life, come together or fall apart on their own merits.

And the most hopeful sign of all came the next day. The first actual day since Nightmare Moon returned and the Thousand Days of Woe began:

The Sun - weak and red in the dust-filled sky - slowly rose over the horizon.

The Princess of the Sun had not returned yet; perhaps she is still trapped by her sister’s spell. Perhaps another way of escape is being laid. But the light fills the ponies’ hearts with hope.

The Equestria they knew is gone. But the New Equestria has a future.

____

Sunday, Aug.10, 4 A.C.

Dear Journal,

It’s really strange dating things this way; but with everything that’s happened, most folks agree it’ll be easier to date our calendars starting with the fall of Princess Celestia. ‘After Celestia’ sounds so grim, though; kinda hope we change it. Maybe when the Princess returns... we’re praying she does.

Anyway, I still can’t believe we found a whole stock of blank paper in the storerooms! We’re saving most of it for bartering, but Mom thinks it’s smart for one of us to make notes for posterity, so it looks like I get to keep you. I’ll try to be short to save space, but it just feels so good to write again!

The move into the Canterlot ruins ruins is going pretty well. A few other families joined us after our last trip to Apple Fort, and we’ve shored up our defenses in case the air pirates make another flyby. Pop and I negotiated a deal with the Apples - food in exchange for books. A few of the unicorns know replication spells and are using some of the paper to make copies of really important texts so we don’t lose valuable knowledge to an accident. It still blows my mind how much we’ve lost in... was life really normal only a few years ago? It feels like another lifetime that I was in this very city, talking to the Princess, sitting at a normal cafe... eating lunch with Cam and Press...

I don’t want to forget them. Camera Shy and Pressing Matters, my best friends. Maybe they’re still out there somewhere. We run into old friends every now and then - my old traveling salespony gig has come in handy, actually! I’ve found a bunch of people who used to be clients, it really helps with forming trade and peace treaties with other groups. So it could happen. Please, Prince, keep them safe wherever they are.

I’m really blessed, though. I have to remember that. I have Mom and Pop and Black and Per and Chewie - although I’m still not used to Chewie flying and talking now. She’s such a character. Lots of ponies are missing family - so are we, we haven’t been able to find most of the extended family, but Pop got word from Aunt Pitter that she and my cousin Light Drizzle are out west somewhere, and Pitch Apple is down at Apple Fort, thank the King.

And we could be worse! We made friends with a tinkerer named Steam Punk, he made me a new wing that works as good as my old one! (Not a HUGE bar to cross, but it’s still really impressive!) I’m talking him into working with me to start a production house that can make and sell them affordably to other handicapped pegasi. And Mom got her flight back thanks to a gem Black and some other mages crafted. I think she still misses her diving mark, but she’s so brave and optimistic, it really inspires everyone. I wish we could do something for Pop’s horn, but he’s finding other ways to help out. Per is... well, I guess if you’re going to get turned into a pony-dragon, you’d want to be as cheerful about it as Per. Who knows, maybe she’ll still get a cutie mark someday! And Black is fully aware that he looks pretty boss with an eyepatch, the dork. 

There’s rumors that Princess Cadance might be alive and organizing the crystal ponies up North; lots of ponies are heading that way, but I think our group will stay here. There’s a lot of resources in the Canterlot ruins and in the castle, although Black leads the expeditions into the castle because of safety issues. I never knew he was so good at exploration and such; guess there were a few skills he was holding out on us over the years, but turns out he was working for the Princess before! What in Equus, I gave him such an earful for being all secretive about being my bodyguard or whatever. 

I’m running out of page, so I’ll wrap up today. We’re holding a worship service later, Pop and Parson Brown are setting it up. We want to keep focusing on what we have to be thankful for. We are GOING to get through this. The King, the Prince, and the Advocate have not abandoned us, and we have each other. 

~Salespitch

----

Fun Facts About The Wasteland Timeline:

- This was my favorite timeline to draw =D I HAD to get some steampunk stuff in there, although there are definitely Mad Max vibes. The convenient thing about this timeline is that it was a literal blank slate, so I could really get creative with it! I feel like this would make a neat bookmark, what do ya’ll think?

- I tried to reference all the major villains in the picture. Extra shoutout to ReversalMushroom, the patron who sponsored this Alternate Timeline Special, for giving me the ideas for the changeling goo and Tirek’s hoofprints, which were added in during the coloring phase. I think they round it out quite nicely!

- The random bit of Candy Forest over the crevice there is one of the pockets left behind by Discord’s chaos magic going wild. Most ponies avoid it because here’s WEIRD stuff in there, and ponies who go in there usually come out a little weirder themselves. 

- Black lost his eye and half his sunglasses in a fight with some Changelings. He gets on quite well with only one eye, though, and he insists his sunglass-lens eyepatch is going to be the height of eyepatch fashion. (He DOES have a sense of humor in case anyone doubted it. ;) ) Black taught everyone basic survival techniques and does most of the more dangerous tasks.

- Sales lost his wing during Tirek’s rampage; he tried to distract Tirek, but they didn’t have time to make the plan from the Tirek timeline, so he got swatted pretty quickly. On the upside, Tirek lost sight of him and didn’t get his magic. Sales can fly about as well now with his new steampunk wing, which combines technology and magic to mimic low-level pegasus flight (which was where he was at anyway, so he made a great first test subject!) Sales’ main job is  negotiating peaceful trades with other groups.

- Sales Patter (Dad) lost his horn while pushing his wife out of the way of some falling rubble. He insists he was only mediocre at magic anyway, and he doesn’t need a horn to do business! He does miss it, though. He helps their new community with allocating resources.

- Pitch Forward (Mom) lost her magic and cutie mark to Tirek’s onslaught. The gem in her coat simulates flight for her, although not quite at the level she was before. She and Sales joke about how he can almost beat her in a race now. She helps with the kids in their small community and teaches flying techniques to pegasi.

- Pitch Perfect got hit with a random blast of Discord magic that turned her half dragon. It took a little getting used to, but she honestly thinks it is super neat. She’s pretty good at sniffing out gems now, which (when she isn’t eating them) helps with family finances. Her friends Codebreak and Castle Crasher are part of their little community, and the three are constantly getting into trouble (which most everyone silently thinks of as a nice bit of familiarity.)

- Chewie ALSO got Discord’d; she has fairy wings now and she can talk. Chewie still likes Sales the best and hovers around him chattering like Navi half the time. The other half of the time she forgets she has wings and just hops around exploring. At this point she’s become less like a pet and more like another tiny sister, to Per’s delight and everyone else’s raised anxiety levels. She is VERY aware of her surroundings and alerts the group to intruders and strangers. She really misses computer games.

- Princess Celestia will eventually return, although by that time I feel that the various groups gathering together will have formed something like a decent society again. It remains to be seen if they’ll go back to a monarchy, create a government of connected micronations, or turn into something like the United States.

- And yes, Camera Shy, Pressing Matters, and Press’s husband Curler are all alive. They’ll meet up someday!

---

A/N: Thank you all for joining me on this journey through time and space to explore the seven MLP timelines and where Sales & Co might have ended up in them! I hope you enjoyed it; I had a good bit of fun coming up with the different scenarios, it was a great brain exercise. =D Thank you again to all my Patrons, and to ReversalMushroom for sponsoring this particular special! There will be a final post next week of all the pictures together, with links back to their storyline posts.

I also want to thank you for bearing with me as the regular updates continue to be on hiatus. This has been a rough and strange year for all of us, and I hope you all are safe and healthy and know that you are loved. Jesus has really been with me through this year, and even tonight as I write this; there are things I struggle with, but I know that they do not define my value, HE does. =) And I, like Sales, want to count my blessings, the biggest one (aside from my faith in God) being that I have family around me who love me and care for me. I’m very much looking forward to Christmas! =D  

Merry Christmas! May your Christmas and New Year contain joy and peace, and may Christ Jesus rest His hands on you and draw your heart to His. In Jesus’ Name, amen.

~River Babble

[lia-jones]

Growing Pains - Chapter Nine - The King and the Thief

Needless to say, I spent my weekend thinking about Victor and that particular event in my kitchen. My heart lingered in the memory of his warmth like a guilty pleasure, while my mind kept telling me what a bad idea it was to fall in love, especially with my boss. But my greatest flaw and virtue came to this one thing: no matter the dispute between my head and my heart, my heart always had the upper hand. That was something that gave me both great joy and great grief.

I wondered if something meaningful would’ve happened if his phone didn’t ring, and my heart beat yes. My mind though, warned me of the danger of misreading signs, particularly in this case. A wrong step could break both my heart and my career, but the humiliation would be even worse.

I arrived at the office promising myself I would only focus on work and nothing else. I was probably seeing things, anyway. That guy probably had all the women he could have, attractive tall women with beautiful hair and eyes of exotic colors, supermodel material. What would he want to do with a plain brown haired and brown eyed short girl?

I walked quickly to my old desk, expecting to see all my stuff there again. I imagined he wanted the privacy of his office back again, and since I did a good job in Creekwood, my punishment would be over. But my old desk was stubbornly empty. Goldman saw me and came to me.

“What are you doing here? Victor wants you in his office. Now.” Goldman’s voice was way too serious for my liking.

“Is he mad at me? Did I do something wrong?” I asked, feeling a little nervous.

“How the hell should I know?!?” Goldman was clearly irritated. “Do you think he writes me a memo every time he gets pissed?”

I raised my hands, urging him to calm down.

“Ok, ok, I’m going. Jeez.”

I knocked before coming in. Victor raised his eyebrows at me.

“Why did you knock? You work here. You don’t have to knock.” His voice had a touch of anger, but it didn’t seem directed at me. I relaxed.

“I was just trying to be polite.” I answered, concealing the fact that I was not wanting to aggravate him even more.

“Don’t think I didn’t see you speaking to Goldman just now. Glass doors.” He pointed at the doors, and then looked me straight in the eyes, calling my bluff. “How long will it take you to figure out you don’t have to be afraid of me?”

“I’m not. I’m not afraid.” I didn’t lie, I wasn’t. Sure, Victor could be harsh, and I surely didn’t want to feel the effects of his anger, but it wasn’t fear. Respect, maybe? I couldn’t put my finger on it. “It came from respect, not fear.” I added. Victor kept his gaze on me, like he was confirming if I was being truthful.

“I need you to take a look at these.” He said, handing me a folder.

“They’re Ted’s partners.” I said, recognizing the companies names in the documents. “Is something wrong?”

“The accounting department noticed some inconsistencies on money transfers to these companies. Probably some data was lost when the servers went down. You worked with Ted, perhaps you can fill in the gaps.” He tried to keep a nonchalant tone, but his almost unperceptively furrowed brow spoke volumes. This was troubling him.

“Where is Ted? These are his clients, after all.” I asked, starting to feel a bit tense. I didn’t want to be the one causing Ted trouble.

“He’s not answering his phone.” Victor almost whispered. “I need you to do it.” He ended the conversation right there, turning to his laptop.

I turned to my own laptop and opened the server files for those companies, comparing them with the transfer receipts in the folder. After some time, I could see why Victor was so upset. The transfers were each over a hundred thousand dollars, all of them combined indicating a loss of millions. After checking with the company files, I found nothing that could indicate why he had transferred those amounts. I started rubbing my forehead in distress. Victor quickly picked up on that.

“Something’s wrong?” He came closer, eyeing my screen.

“I can’t really find why these transfers were made. You should really ask Ted, before making any assumptions.” I could feel Victor’s warmth irradiating from his body. And he smelled so good. Why the hell does he have to smell so good? “Or maybe…” I said, trying not to get lost in his scent. ”Maybe I could just email the partners, tell them we had a server problem, ask them to confirm the transfers? I know it’s a bit of exposure, but we would find out.”

Victor rested his elbow on my desk, supporting his chin with his hand.

“Yes, send an e-mail to the partners. Let’s hear from them.”

We both resumed our work, and after I had sent emails to pretty much every one of Ted’s partners, I heard Victor answer a phone call.

“Ted?” It was visible Victor was trying to control his anger. “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to reach you since last night!” He paused, hearing from the other line. “The server went down, we are missing some information about some money transfers you made.” Another pause. “Send them to Andrea as soon as possible. She’ll update the files for you. Feel better.”

I was hanging on the edge of my seat.

“So?” I asked.

“This is why I insist you backup all your work outside the servers! Information gets lost and then it’s all on you!” He spoke loudly than usual, but I could see he was just venting. He noticed his tone, and softened it a bit. “He caught the flu, he’ll stay home for a few days. He is going to email you the receipts. Do you have the reports from our business trip?” He said, leaning on his seat and exhaling, seemingly relieved.

“I have the drafts, I was going to finish them this morning. If you have nothing else, I’ll finish them right now.”

“Yes, do that. Take your time, I just need them for the afternoon.” He got up and was about to leave, but then turned to me. “I’m going to get myself some coffee, would you like some?”

“I can get it for both of us. I need to peel my eyes off the screen for a few minutes.” I said, getting up.

“Come along, then. I need the same.” Victor said, opening the door for me and following close behind. We headed for the coffee room.

He grabbed the pot before I could and filled two cups with coffee.

“Sugar?” He asked, holding a sugar packet.

“Just black, thank you.” I said, absent mindedly. I was leaning against the table, watching a different scene unfold. Victor came to my side, handing me the coffee cup. We stood silent for a while.

“What are we looking at?” He asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Goldman and Diane.” I had been watching Goldman bring Diane coffee from a known coffee house we usually frequented. They were chatting and smiling at each other.

“They’re just talking.” Victor said, furrowing his brow.

“No, no. You see, he brought her coffee.” I said, giving Victor a meaningful look. “And not just any coffee. By the way she reacted, he knows how she likes her coffee.”

“And? It’s just coffee.” He wasn’t really getting it. Of course he wasn’t. Some men.

“No, it’s not just coffee. It’s a thoughtful act. You guys think we need grand gestures, serenades in the moonlight, and large bouquets of roses. Sometimes all it takes is a cup of coffee.”

“Is that so?” Victor smiled and I could see he was mocking me. “I bet if someone did the same to you, you wouldn’t even notice.”

“If someone was that thoughtful to me, I would.”

“Idiot.” Victor shook his head, chuckling. He grabbed his cup of coffee and walked towards the office.

I was left by myself fuming. What the hell did he mean with that? And what the hell did he know anyway? He wouldn’t know love even if it hit him in his nose.

I took my time to finish my coffee, hoping the heat in my face would eventually fade away.

When I got to the office, Victor was focused on his laptop. I opened mine and noticed my inbox was full of unread messages.

“Your computer has been beeping non-stop.” Victor said, not taking his eyes from his computer.

I read the first message and my heart nearly stopped. Praying to be wrong, I read five more. They all said the same.

“What the hell, Ted...” I said, under my breath.

“What’s the matter?” Victor asked, as he got up and stood behind my chair, bending to look at my screen. I took a deep breath and started opening the emails for Victor to see.

“The partners answered me. None of them recognizes the transfers, or the account numbers, for that matter. I’m sorry, I should have checked the account numbers, it totally slipped my mind…” I rubbed my forehead, overwhelmed with the situation. Ted, one of the closest coworkers I had at LFG, was embezzling? If this was hitting me hard, I could only imagine how Victor must have felt. They seemed friends.

Victor stood up and just kept looking at the screen, lost in his inner turmoil. His expression turned from one of disappointment to anger. He lightly squeezed my shoulder and spoke softly, even though he couldn’t completely hide the heat in his voice.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t think of it either. We both wanted to believe in his innocence.” He went to his laptop and closed it, taking his cellphone and jacket. He walked to the door, turning before leaving.

“Finish the reports and go home. I will be away all afternoon. I will call you later if I need anything.”

And with that, he closed the door behind him.

I finished my reports, not caring for lunch, and went home early. I took a shower and put on my slacks and a cotton sweater, deciding to make a tea for myself. Even after the steaming shower, it was hard for me to relax. I knew Ted had his flaws, but it was hard to believe he would do that. Specially to Victor, who he seemed to respect so much. I was startled from my thoughts by my ringtone. It was Victor.

“Are you home yet?” He asked, his voice was tense.

“For about an hour now. Do you need anything?”

“No, just… Calling to see if you got home safely.” I could hear exhaustion in his voice, but most of all, I could hear sadness. His voice was of someone who carried the entire world on his shoulders.

“So he did do it?” I asked shortly. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the answer. Victor sighed loudly, but didn’t say a word. After a moment, he spoke again.

“I’ll need you to come to work tomorrow at 7 am. I’ll have someone pick you up.”

“You don’t need to send anyone to pick me up. My car is working, I can drive myself.” I wasn’t seeing the point of being driven when I could perfectly do it on my own.

“Ted’s clients have been calling and emailing me since this morning.” Victor quickly changed the subject. “He seriously compromised the company with his inefficient work and we need to deal with it fast. Since you worked closely with his accounts, you’re the best choice to help me fix it.”

“I already said I would go, I was just pointing out you don’t need to send anyone for me, I’ll go by myself like I have been since ever.”

I heard Victor sigh once again.

“We’ll talk tomorrow, ok? Just do as you’re asked. When the car arrives, just get in and come to LFG.”

And with this he hung up. I went to the cabinet and grabbed the bottle of tequila. If I wanted to relax, I’d need something stronger than tea.

[freemeditationclasss-blog]

Meditation - The Gateway to the Soul

Meditation is the gateway to the soul. It provides the illuminated path of shifting from the ego self of the soul into spiritual oneness. It is the key to unlocking the ego self of the soul, shifting the energy of the ego self of the soul being one with our soul thereby bring spiritual oneness within us, within our soul. It is within meditation that we shift vibrationally to connect with Spirit. Meditation assists us with our spiritual journey to realize our life's purpose within this life experience. Benefits of meditation, though free from being sought in meditation, are indeed derived from meditation praxis. Some of them include being focused, centered, and grounded - especially amidst the appearance of the illusion called distractions, soul balance and harmony, a deep genuine feeling of calm and relaxation, a continuous state of absoulute love and well-being, a remembering of our connection with all, of all, for all, and in all that is, and an awareness of the one infinite moment.

Meditation is the key to continuously sustaining an inner peace and calm within. Moment to moment meditation enables us to remain connected to the infinite love, infinite knowledge, infinite wisdom, infinite understanding, infinite connection with all, infinite light, even when the perceived craziness of life and of circumstances in life that may occur.

Meditation is simple the act of going within, shifting the energy, and being within. Free from placing any thoughtenergy on the illusion of linear time or space. Free from the perceptions of what we call here on this earth dimension as rules, regulations, or judgments. It is simply being with what is in the present moment and recycling or shifting the energy, our thoughtenergy to reflect that.

Meditation is the tool we utilize to be centered and focused in our life. To enable us to feel the natural joy, peace, absoulute love, and balance flow. Thus, when the perceived storms or hurricanes of life come our way, we will be an observer to the chaos, rather than a participant in it. We are the center of calm and serenity within the eye of the storm. What a marvelous shift from the perception of somehow being separate from life, from everything, and every soul within it! We are free from the perceived need to wear the victim or martyred robes that we were once in axiom with when in a meditative state. When are grounded and centered in the physical body and within the soul in each moment within the one infinite moment, we simply watch the illusionary storm of the ego self of the soul's e-motions (or energy-in-motion to assist us with the re-membering or memory of the soul rememberings through life experience) such as pain or anger, pass through us as it is free from staying in or with us when in a meditative resonance.

We may discover that those souls who are seemingly illusionally stuck in the paradigm we once were, will ask us for a helping hand. This will be our opportunity to help all souls to shift the axioms of they believe they are into spiritual oneness as well. At that moment, we are the presenter or the present er or gifter of this gift, as well as, the receiver of one of the greatest gifts on this earth dimension and of the celestial cosmos... the gift of absoulute love. As this gift of absoulute love and compassion pours from within us, we will be spreading the healing seeds of the soul onto and into this earth dimensions and out into the universal cosmos to illuminate all souls. The beautiful buds and fruits of this gift will then blossom all around us and the shifting of energy will occur through the universal cosmos. We will notice the energy shift in us and our consciousness and in this earth dimension around us as we will to take on an enlightened state of wonderous, awe-inspiring life.

Earth Dimension Duality Ways of Meditation

Spirit shares that in earth dimensional meditation, we are asked to be in axiom with a duality form of meditation. This form of meditation says that there is some sort of steps we are to do, a certain state we are to reach, and a certain way we are to be. Earth dimensional meditation techniques include repetition of an affirmation such as chanting a mantra, or perhaps following our breath, gazing into a candle flame, listening to another souls guided words to us etc. These are done for the sole purpose of training the physical body brain to remain in the present moment and to allow our spirit, our soul to be then guided into being free from the physical body brain being at the forefront. These techniques use a fixed experience outside the physical body to center and attempt to still, quiet, turn off, or somehow push aside the physical body brain and its programs that it runs.

Spirit explains that it is like that of a computer. That the physical body is like a computer and that this computer machine continues to run until just like that computer, we choose to run another program within it. The computer or the physical body machine is free from knowing anything other until we show it another way of perceiving life. What the infinitely spiritual light being reveals with the traditional form of meditation is we are attempting still the physical body brain, something of which is free from being stilled. They bring forth the wisdom that the physical body and the brain which is included within the physical body, is a machine, and that it is programmed to continue to run until we shut it down by sleep. Even during sleep, the physical body maintains an existence so as to keep the heart beating, the breath within it to sustain itself. Thus, we are free from ever stilling the physical body brain.

What in essence occurs within what we call here on this earth dimension as the traditional mediation form, is that we create a vicious cycle of attempting to still something that is free from being meant to still. Through continuous praxis within this way of being, what we call here on this earth dimension as results can and may be felt. However, Spirit says that usually when we meditate in this fashion, we tend to be what is known as distracted either by the machine of physical brain processing thoughtenergies such as "Oh I forgot to do the dishes from dinner" and "I have that report due tomorrow for the boss" and "Oh what will I wear to work tomorrow? Let's see maybe that blouse or this shirt, or maybe... " When these distractions occur, we come into the illusion of the ego self of the soul as "Oh this meditation stuff is for the birds" and we refrain from continuing to develop any form of praxis within meditation at all. Meditation then is seen as a dreaded 'have to if I want to be enlightened' way of life, of which we avoid.

Multi-Dimensional Meditation is All

The infinitely spiritual light being knows that there have been many what we call here on this earth dimension as spiritual masters and mentors whom have brought forth this message of this form of meditation. We thank them for within them bringing this wisdom to us, as it has enabled us to now remember and treasure the spiritual wisdom of multi-dimensional meditation as well.

There were moments for many earth dimension years that I would be within the ego self of the soul with my former husband as he would spend (in this earth dimension concept known as time) hours just what I call 'vegging' in front of the television, even falling asleep with it on. Or he would spend what I called then as "too much time" on the computer playing computer games and such. I used to have huge ego fits about this.

It was when I received the channeled information through the infinitely spiritual light being that I came to shift the axiom that I had held for so long within the ego self of the soul believing that I was somehow separate from him. His computer playing and his television watching immediately placed me back into that little six year old girl who chose a choice to make a 'decision' to cut off her daddy because she believed her did not love her and that she was unworthy of absoulute love which I write of within The soul remembering through life experience in absoulute love. This illusion created yet another illusion that Aaron was doing this to somehow "be separate from me" to mean that I was separate from him, separate from life, and unworthy of absoulute love.

The soul remembering that came forth once I remembered this was astounding to me. Spirit shared with me the wisdom that my former husband was merely meditating. That television watching and computer games were his form of meditation! Wow! It was as if someone had turned on the light inside my soul!! This revelation brought me back to my dad in realizing that what occurred when I was six was just an event that occurred simply for me to has this soul remembering that had just occurred with him, that it was just that I chose to be forget and continue on with my ego fit inside about my dad and about my former husband in reaction to who they were choosing to be.

In this moment of revelation, I chose to shift the axiom of the resonance that I chose to be within choosing to be in that moment and chose to be enlightened, which brought about a way for me to be within the soul remembering through life experience in compassion and in forgiveness of allowing my dad and Aaron to be just as they are free from me having to change or fix them. That they are whole and complete just as they are and how much absoulute love and bliss I feel for them that they are being the light of who they are within this form of meditation. I was then able to for give, give thanks for each of them bringing forth the wisdom of this soul remembering to me and to Spirit for their wisdom as well.

When we choose to view meditation though multi-dimensional spiritual oneness, anything and everything we are and choose to be, can be a meditation. Walking to the bus stop, making dinner, washing your clothes, eating. Reading this book right in this moment is a meditation. These everyday earth dimensional experiences are meditative when we bring a oneness of infinite possibilities and a fullness of our being into our experience.

How much consciousness and presence can we have while we are washing the dishes? What a present, what a gift, within this presence of washing the dishes! Spirit shares with us that in multi-dimensional meditation there are thoughtenergies that pass through the physical body brain, yet we are free from any electrical static clinging to them. We can allow the physical body brain to continue its machinery program, free from having to change or fix it, rather just simply allowing it to be while we continue on with our meditation. It is by simply including and merging the physical body brain within the meditative process that gifts birth to infinite possibilities within mediation. It creates meditation as a FUN (Feeling Universal kNowledge), blissful, joyous, absoulutely loving process. Even cleaning, making dinner, washing and folding a load of laundry can be seen as FUN, blissful, and joyous, as we are 'falling in love with' these very things for the meditative process and spiritual inspiration, being 'In Spirit', that it gifts us with!

Feeling the warm water run across our hands, the sound of scrubbing the pan, the smell of the soap as we clean - the beauty, the awe, and the wonder of this earth dimension looking out the window while we clean - this too is meditation. Meditation is an effortless awakening of the soul through universe multi-dimensional processes here on this earth dimension. Anytime we are concentrating on something even while the thoughtenergy of the machine that is constantly running, we are meditating. We can meditate while walking or moving, lying down, standing and sitting; while silent or speaking. We are free from the "have to's" of sitting in a certain meditative pose as we can be whatever is most comfortable for us in each moment. We are free from having to "quiet" the physical body brain, or reach a certain state. We can simply allow the physical body, the brain within the physical body, and the Soul or Spirit, to co-create together harmoniously as one. Free from being separate entities to be controlled or pushed aside. Free from having to "do" anything, as meditation is always, in all ways, with us and within us. Free to simply be as one.

[onlinemeditationlessons-blog]

Meditation - The Gateway to the Soul

Meditation is the gateway to the soul. It provides the illuminated path of shifting from the ego self of the soul into spiritual oneness. It is the key to unlocking the ego self of the soul, shifting the energy of the ego self of the soul being one with our soul thereby bring spiritual oneness within us, within our soul. It is within meditation that we shift vibrationally to connect with Spirit. Meditation assists us with our spiritual journey to realize our life's purpose within this life experience. Benefits of meditation, though free from being sought in meditation, are indeed derived from meditation praxis. Some of them include being focused, centered, and grounded - especially amidst the appearance of the illusion called distractions, soul balance and harmony, a deep genuine feeling of calm and relaxation, a continuous state of absoulute love and well-being, a remembering of our connection with all, of all, for all, and in all that is, and an awareness of the one infinite moment.

Meditation is the key to continuously sustaining an inner peace and calm within. Moment to moment meditation enables us to remain connected to the infinite love, infinite knowledge, infinite wisdom, infinite understanding, infinite connection with all, infinite light, even when the perceived craziness of life and of circumstances in life that may occur.

Meditation is simple the act of going within, shifting the energy, and being within. Free from placing any thoughtenergy on the illusion of linear time or space. Free from the perceptions of what we call here on this earth dimension as rules, regulations, or judgments. It is simply being with what is in the present moment and recycling or shifting the energy, our thoughtenergy to reflect that.

Meditation is the tool we utilize to be centered and focused in our life. To enable us to feel the natural joy, peace, absoulute love, and balance flow. Thus, when the perceived storms or hurricanes of life come our way, we will be an observer to the chaos, rather than a participant in it. We are the center of calm and serenity within the eye of the storm. What a marvelous shift from the perception of somehow being separate from life, from everything, and every soul within it! We are free from the perceived need to wear the victim or martyred robes that we were once in axiom with when in a meditative state. When are grounded and centered in the physical body and within the soul in each moment within the one infinite moment, we simply watch the illusionary storm of the ego self of the soul's e-motions (or energy-in-motion to assist us with the re-membering or memory of the soul rememberings through life experience) such as pain or anger, pass through us as it is free from staying in or with us when in a meditative resonance.

We may discover that those souls who are seemingly illusionally stuck in the paradigm we once were, will ask us for a helping hand. This will be our opportunity to help all souls to shift the axioms of they believe they are into spiritual oneness as well. At that moment, we are the presenter or the present er or gifter of this gift, as well as, the receiver of one of the greatest gifts on this earth dimension and of the celestial cosmos... the gift of absoulute love. As this gift of absoulute love and compassion pours from within us, we will be spreading the healing seeds of the soul onto and into this earth dimensions and out into the universal cosmos to illuminate all souls. The beautiful buds and fruits of this gift will then blossom all around us and the shifting of energy will occur through the universal cosmos. We will notice the energy shift in us and our consciousness and in this earth dimension around us as we will to take on an enlightened state of wonderous, awe-inspiring life.

Earth Dimension Duality Ways of Meditation

Spirit shares that in earth dimensional meditation, we are asked to be in axiom with a duality form of meditation. This form of meditation says that there is some sort of steps we are to do, a certain state we are to reach, and a certain way we are to be. Earth dimensional meditation techniques include repetition of an affirmation such as chanting a mantra, or perhaps following our breath, gazing into a candle flame, listening to another souls guided words to us etc. These are done for the sole purpose of training the physical body brain to remain in the present moment and to allow our spirit, our soul to be then guided into being free from the physical body brain being at the forefront. These techniques use a fixed experience outside the physical body to center and attempt to still, quiet, turn off, or somehow push aside the physical body brain and its programs that it runs.

Spirit explains that it is like that of a computer. That the physical body is like a computer and that this computer machine continues to run until just like that computer, we choose to run another program within it. The computer or the physical body machine is free from knowing anything other until we show it another way of perceiving life. What the infinitely spiritual light being reveals with the traditional form of meditation is we are attempting still the physical body brain, something of which is free from being stilled. They bring forth the wisdom that the physical body and the brain which is included within the physical body, is a machine, and that it is programmed to continue to run until we shut it down by sleep. Even during sleep, the physical body maintains an existence so as to keep the heart beating, the breath within it to sustain itself. Thus, we are free from ever stilling the physical body brain.

What in essence occurs within what we call here on this earth dimension as the traditional mediation form, is that we create a vicious cycle of attempting to still something that is free from being meant to still. Through continuous praxis within this way of being, what we call here on this earth dimension as results can and may be felt. However, Spirit says that usually when we meditate in this fashion, we tend to be what is known as distracted either by the machine of physical brain processing thoughtenergies such as "Oh I forgot to do the dishes from dinner" and "I have that report due tomorrow for the boss" and "Oh what will I wear to work tomorrow? Let's see maybe that blouse or this shirt, or maybe... " When these distractions occur, we come into the illusion of the ego self of the soul as "Oh this meditation stuff is for the birds" and we refrain from continuing to develop any form of praxis within meditation at all. Meditation then is seen as a dreaded 'have to if I want to be enlightened' way of life, of which we avoid.

Multi-Dimensional Meditation is All

The infinitely spiritual light being knows that there have been many what we call here on this earth dimension as spiritual masters and mentors whom have brought forth this message of this form of meditation. We thank them for within them bringing this wisdom to us, as it has enabled us to now remember and treasure the spiritual wisdom of multi-dimensional meditation as well.

There were moments for many earth dimension years that I would be within the ego self of the soul with my former husband as he would spend (in this earth dimension concept known as time) hours just what I call 'vegging' in front of the television, even falling asleep with it on. Or he would spend what I called then as "too much time" on the computer playing computer games and such. I used to have huge ego fits about this.

It was when I received the channeled information through the infinitely spiritual light being that I came to shift the axiom that I had held for so long within the ego self of the soul believing that I was somehow separate from him. His computer playing and his television watching immediately placed me back into that little six year old girl who chose a choice to make a 'decision' to cut off her daddy because she believed her did not love her and that she was unworthy of absoulute love which I write of within The soul remembering through life experience in absoulute love. This illusion created yet another illusion that Aaron was doing this to somehow "be separate from me" to mean that I was separate from him, separate from life, and unworthy of absoulute love.

The soul remembering that came forth once I remembered this was astounding to me. Spirit shared with me the wisdom that my former husband was merely meditating. That television watching and computer games were his form of meditation! Wow! It was as if someone had turned on the light inside my soul!! This revelation brought me back to my dad in realizing that what occurred when I was six was just an event that occurred simply for me to has this soul remembering that had just occurred with him, that it was just that I chose to be forget and continue on with my ego fit inside about my dad and about my former husband in reaction to who they were choosing to be.

In this moment of revelation, I chose to shift the axiom of the resonance that I chose to be within choosing to be in that moment and chose to be enlightened, which brought about a way for me to be within the soul remembering through life experience in compassion and in forgiveness of allowing my dad and Aaron to be just as they are free from me having to change or fix them. That they are whole and complete just as they are and how much absoulute love and bliss I feel for them that they are being the light of who they are within this form of meditation. I was then able to for give, give thanks for each of them bringing forth the wisdom of this soul remembering to me and to Spirit for their wisdom as well.

When we choose to view meditation though multi-dimensional spiritual oneness, anything and everything we are and choose to be, can be a meditation. Walking to the bus stop, making dinner, washing your clothes, eating. Reading this book right in this moment is a meditation. These everyday earth dimensional experiences are meditative when we bring a oneness of infinite possibilities and a fullness of our being into our experience.

How much consciousness and presence can we have while we are washing the dishes? What a present, what a gift, within this presence of washing the dishes! Spirit shares with us that in multi-dimensional meditation there are thoughtenergies that pass through the physical body brain, yet we are free from any electrical static clinging to them. We can allow the physical body brain to continue its machinery program, free from having to change or fix it, rather just simply allowing it to be while we continue on with our meditation. It is by simply including and merging the physical body brain within the meditative process that gifts birth to infinite possibilities within mediation. It creates meditation as a FUN (Feeling Universal kNowledge), blissful, joyous, absoulutely loving process. Even cleaning, making dinner, washing and folding a load of laundry can be seen as FUN, blissful, and joyous, as we are 'falling in love with' these very things for the meditative process and spiritual inspiration, being 'In Spirit', that it gifts us with!

[huahsu]

YEAR OF THE BUTTERFLY

previous years: A SONG THAT DEGRADES EACH TIME YOU PLAY IT :: 2018 A CHURCH AND JOHN LENNON’S “IMAGINE” :: 2017 SIKH DEVOTIONAL MUSIC :: 2016 SPOOKY BLACK :: 2015 this year: I’ve spent the past few months working on a book that I’ve always wanted to write but never figured I’d make the time for. At a really basic level, it’s about listening to music with friends. A couple weeks ago, I devoted a few days to reading a stack of books and articles about the emotional experience of music. They were written by philosophers, critics, cognitive scientists, historians. I took from them two overarching questions. First, what does it mean to assign a piece of music a feeling, like “happy” or “sad?” Is the song itself “sad,” or does it just model a kind of sadness proximate to how we feel? What elements of a song do this? The fraying of a voice? Minor keys? Tempo? Is it all a trick of memory? None of the answers really satisfied me, since music is such an intimate thing. A song makes us feel a way for reasons that are often either blindingly obvious or remote and mysterious. An expert can tell you that humans are wired to feel joy when a certain configuration of notes are struck in tandem, but maybe it just reminds you of looking at the front door.

The other question was whether music itself facilitates any unique emotional possibilities--a mode of feeling that we can’t get anywhere else. Music doesn’t mimic the real world, it doesn’t make arguments. One writer suggested that the thrill of music was its capacity to remind you, foremost, that music can thrill you. In essence, each time we hear something new and feel something, we are being reminded of all the times we’ve felt this way before. We’re living in the echo of a former enchantment. Maybe you’ll hear it again, process it, assign it a genre or context, and the mystique evaporates. But music is one of those things that doesn’t happen on our time. We don’t stand in front of it and train our gaze on this quadrant or that. We don’t flip back to make sure we didn’t miss something. You can’t slow it down as it is happening, you merely let it happen. 

In the spring, the Museum of Chinese in America in Manhattan showed “The Moon Represents My Heart,” an exhibition I worked on with MOCA’s curators, Herb and Andrew. The basic idea was to look at all the ways music had enriched immigrant life, from early opera troupes touring America’s Chinatowns to karaoke bars, church choirs, and after-school violin lessons, fifties doo-wop trios to garage punks and self-taught dance music producers. There’s no legible tradition of Chinese American music so we just wanted to present it as a textured and everyday thing--the experience of the fan could be as legitimate as that of a Mando-pop superstar. While working on the show, people would often ask me for a playlist, but I didn’t really have any to share. It wasn’t really about the music itself, which could sound derivative or amateur to some. It was about the fact that they sought to express themselves through music, in contexts that made them outliers and oddballs. I came to love all the music in our show because of that second-hand thrill--that sense that these moments had been deeply meaningful to everyone in the room. 

You can hear it in the voice of Stephen Cheng, who ended up being the show’s most memorable star. He put out a rocksteady gem in the sixties and then spent the next decade in New York trying to get the Dragon Seeds, his Chinese “folk-rock” band, off the ground. Cheng died years ago, but Andrew found his children, who brought some reels of unreleased music to the museum. I remember staring at them, wondering what was on them. It was a kind of anticipation and wonder that I often miss, when the operative feeling I associate with music-listening on the internet is the frenzy of opening and closing windows, clicking links, proving my humanity to a captcha.

Stephen’s singing wasn’t great, but it was perfect. His version of “Yesterday,” all warbly and over-the-top, has now supplanted the original for me. Somehow, we played some of Stephen’s songs on the radio, including one about butterflies and love. Somehow, one of the people listening was a butterfly expert, and he was about to marry another butterfly expert. Who knew such a song was possible, the groom-to-be told me. Stephen was too obscure to be properly forgotten. Or maybe his song was just dormant all these years. It awaited just the right listener, and now, over forty years later, he would get his propers, sandwiched somewhere between the vows and Kool and the Gang, a couple minutes of people scratching their heads, searching for the right smile, saying Can you believe this? to one another.

### TEENAGE DREAM

Warren Defever/His Name is Alive, All the Mirrors in the House

EXCELLENT USE OF “P.S.K.” Kindness feat. Robyn, “Warning” EXCELLENT USE OF A TELEPHONE Mavi, “Guernica” TECHNICALLY 2018, BUT TAIWAN’S ANSWER TO COIL, JOY DIVISION, ETC SEN, “The Cicada” SAME (2018) BUT TAIWANESE DREAMBOAT VIBES Linion, “Can’t Find” ANOTHER, KINDA BILLY BRAGG-Y Wayne’s So Sad, “Wanderer’s Guide to Taipei” SUMMER IN TAIWAN, AND SO I BOUGHT A LOT OF CDs, INCLUDING THE LIMITED EDITION SIGNED 9M88 DEBUT 9m88, “Love Rain” THEY ARE VERY INTO THE “FUTURE SOUL” THING Andrea, “You Better Kiss Me” THIS GUY HAS THE SAME NAME AS MY COUSIN Yo Lee demos LOTS OF BACKPACKS Hsien, Lately AMAZED TO SEE LIM GIONG REISSUES THERE, THIS IS THE DANCE ALBUM HE RECORDED IN 1994 IN THE UK BEFORE BRINGING RAVE CULTURE BACK TO TAIWAN Lim Giong, Entertainment World (IF YOU ARE UNFAMILIAR WITH LIM GIONG, THIS IS THE GREATEST SONG EVER Lim Giong, “A Pure Person) AND HERE’S 9m88 COVERING “PLASTIC LOVE” 9m88, “Plastic Love” AIR SUPPLYERS Oso Leone, Gallery Love Sunset Rollercoaster, Vanilla Villa I ENJOYED THIS WHEN IT CAME OUT BUT HONESTLY FORGOT IT CAME OUT THIS YEAR, OR THAT I ENJOYED, BUT FOR THE LONGEST TIME MY “2019″ EMAIL DRAFT JUST READ “CHIEF KEEF HNIA KAIL MALONE (sic)” Chief Keef and Zaytoven, GloToven

ANOTHER DEVASTATING DUO Pink Siifu and Akai Solo, Black Sand

MYSTIC CHORDS OF MEMORY Kali Malone, The Sacrificial Code Clarice Jensen, Drone Studies I AM A SLOW WALKER, BUT I NEVER WALK BACKWARDS Michael Vincent Waller, Moments ana roxane - ~~~ A THOUSAND POINTS OF LIGHT Caleb Giles, Under the Shade Medhane, Own Pace WE ARE THE ONES WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR Angel Bat Dawid, The Oracle Art Ensemble of Chicago, We are on the Edge READ JOSEPH JARMAN Joseph Jarman, Black Case I and II RESPECT YOURSELF Helado Negro, This is How You Smile Deb Never, “Swimming” LET’S DO IT AGAIN Tommy Holohan & Casper Hastings- RVE001 Eris Drew, Raving Disco Breaks LET’S DO IT AGAIN AGAIN, BUT SMEARED Burial, Tunes 2011-2019 OR PERHAPS YOU WERE THERE Callisto, Guidance is Eternal, Part I PERHAPS YOU WERE THERE FOR MICROHOUSE AND PEAK MEGO AND BLOGS Barker, Debiasing AT A WAREHOUSE PARTY, ABLE TO HEAR TOO MANY FLOORS, ROOMS, SOUNDS AT ONCE, IN A GOOD WAY Dies Smely, “Neptune Rises” AT A WAREHOUSE PARTY, BUT THINKING ABOUT PLUNDER, THE TRAIL OF TEARS, THE SANCTITY OF EARTH Kelman Duran, 13 Month A KIND OF BLUE Steve Hiett, Down on the Road by the Beach POSSIBLY MY MOST PLAYED ALBUM, 2019 Galcher Lustwerk, Information R.I.P. PRINCE, FOREVER AND ALWAYS Serpente, Parada Moodymann, Sinner Nelson Bandela, Purprain THE OPPOSITE OF “I AM A GOD” Nelson Bandela - “i'm mortal” YOU GOT ME Shane Eagle feat. Santi and Bas, “Vanya” HARD TO BELIEVE JAZMINE SULLIVAN REMAINS SO OVERLOOKED Kindness feat Jazmine Sullivan, “Hard to Believe” WATCH FOR THE HOOK Quando Rondo, “Gun Powder”

ANTE UP Polo G feat Lil Tjay, “Pop Out” “PANTS GON BE SAGGIN TIL I’M FORTY” Freddie Gibbs and Madlib, “Thuggin”

“WHY THEY LET THE TERMINATOR WIN THE ELECTION?” Sault, “Why Why Why Why Why”

HOLLOW BONES Showbiz and Milano, “Guillotine” LADI LUV, “GOOD TO THE LAST DUB” City Girls, “Act Up” MONEY BOSS PLAYERS Benny the Butcher feat 38 Spesh and Jadakiss, “Sunday School” Roc Marciano, “Richard Gear” WARP 30 (1989-2019) Droop-E, “The Droop-E Way” INTERSTELLAR SPACE, PROBABLY KILLER LIVE Blacks’ Myths, Blacks Myths II ALICE NEVER WENT ANYWHERE Sam Wilkes, “Sivaya” Alice Coltrane, Live at the Berkeley Community Theater 1972 RIYL: LYRICHORD, EFFECTS PEDALS Seungmin Cha, Nuunmuun RIYL: EFFICIENCY, INTERLUDES Solange, “Binz” “WHO HERE IS STILL LISTENING TO JOHNNY MAY CASH’S “DRUGS” IN 2019?” Playboi Carti, “Molly” “MOLLY” CZ Wang and Neo Image, “Just Off Wave”

YOU’VE SUBSCRIBED TO “UK STREETSOUL YOUTUBE PLAYLIST” Apiento feat Harriet Brown, “Down That Road” WHERE WERE U IN 2092? Jai Paul, “He”

LIL B, INNIT Voldy Moyo, Paper World SCREAMADELICA Vampire Weekend, “Harmony Hall” Humeysha, Nusrat on the Beach FOLKTRONICA Aldous Harding, “The Barrel” TOO PURE Springfields, Singles 1986-1991 MY AQUARIUM Rod Modell, Captagon ANOTHER WORLD IS POSSIBLE Vagabon, Vagabon 4-TRACK TWEE BEDROOM COVERS OF BLINK-182′S DUDE RANCH Colleen Green, Blink-182′s “Dude Ranch” as Played by Colleen Green

KINDA AS THOUGH A PART OF MY 2016-19 LP PURCHASES FORMED THEIR OWN BANDS Anunaku, Whities 024 75 Dollar Bill, I Was Real Joshua Abrams and Natural Information Society, Mandatory Reality

JUST 30 OR SO GECS Cool Fang, Sparring I’M A DEADHEAD BUT FOR STANDING ON THE CORNER SOTC Art Ensemble, SOTC Double Bass Ensemble * Merciful Allah Black Hole Theater * 4/24/19 SOTC Art Ensemble, Variation 9 * Merciful Allah Black Hole Theater * 4/27/19

SONG OF THE SPRING, SUMMER, WINTER, YEAR, STILL UNDEFEATED

[demisexual-deesaster]

I'm too gay for this

Hello one, Hello all! This fic is brought to you because @aphyllum was starved for Pyrruby content, and so, to quench their thirst, I've come up with a sort of crack!fic featuring Pyrruby! Enjoy!

~

You didn’t know what to expect when your scroll rang at 2:30 in the night, but if there was one thing you were good at doing, it was going with the flow. Blinking blearily, and in your sleep deprived state, you didn’t think to check the caller ID, instead, you picked up, put the scroll next to your ear, and yawned out a sleepy greeting.

“Hewwo?”

“Hey Ruby. Sorry I’m calling so late…”

You let out a squeak of “Pyrrha!” and tumble from the bed like the useless gay you are. Fuck, get on your feet and talk to her like the suave woman you are Ruby!!!

You clear your throat, and, in the most chivalrous way you can, you say “How can I help you, Pyrrha?” unfortunately for you, your voice comes out more of a crackly squeak than a sultry rumble, and you curse your puberty.

“What’s wrong with your voice Ruby? Do you have a cold? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called–“

“I’m okay!!” you yelp out, then clear your throat. “Ahem. I’m okay, Pyrrha. How can I help you?”

“Well…if you’re sure...I received a message asking for help from a contact in Mistral. Apparently, some Grimm are getting too close to comfort. None of the members of my team are available at the moment, and well, I was wondering…if you wanted to join–“

“YES!” Your gay screams out, while your ass lies on the floor, rolling around in excitement. “I mean…uh, sure, I’d love to Pyrrha.”

You’re hearing things, but you think you hear Pyrrha breath a sigh of joy.

Something occurs to you though, and even though it’s out of the top of your head, you ask with a chuckle “Wow, we must need to leave early tomorrow if you’re calling me at 2:30 in the morning.”

“What, no! We can leave by 12 Pm, my place.” Your mind screeches because Pyrrha Nikos just invited you to her place!!!!!!!

You tilt your head in confusion instead, and then ask “Huh? Then why didn’t you tell me about this later in the day? Or maybe earlier?”

Pyrrha laughs. Is that nervousness you hear? Nah. She’s Pyrrha Nikos! She doesn’t get nervous!

“Oh look at the time, ha ha! I really should be going, thank you for calling bye!” Pyrrha yelps out, and the line ends with a click. You stare at your scroll, baffled, and think, confused: Uhhh, she was the one who called?

You shook your head. It didn’t matter! You were going on a huntsman date with Pyrrha Nikos! And Oum, you were excited!!! Wait, was this a date? Or was this casual? What if you thought this was a date but this was only something casual? You’d freak her out! Okay, casual it is! But wait! What if this was actually a date and you acted too casual?? What if Pyrrha thought you didn’t like her like that and didn’t try again? Oh god, does Pyrrha even like you like that?!

If you could keyboard smash in your head in a way that would make sense, you would. For now, you settle for smashing your head on the wall instead, which is shortly followed by a high pitched squeal. Below you, Zwei rolls uncomfortably in his sleep.

You’re Ruby Rose! One of the greatest huntresses at Beacon! You’ve got this! Tomorrow was going to be okay! Right?

~

Wrong. This was so very wrong. What kinda motel has only one bed in one room when you’d clearly booked two rooms in advance!? Ohhh, Ruby is gonna think you’re some kinda creep! You throw a glance her way, to see she’s completely tuckered out on the bed. Your face softens. The mission was really hard, and you weren’t sure you’d have survived if Ruby wasn’t there with you. Guilt works your way, eating at your stomach as you remember the hit she took for you. Your heart had almost come out of your mouth. Fortunately, she’d escaped with a shallow gash, her aura having absorbed most of it, but she was knocked unconscious.

Now, as she rested at the motel room you’d rented, it was to your very flustered confusion and surprise to find out that there had been some kind of mix-up, and that you’d be sharing one single room, one single bed together. You didn’t know whether to yell at the staff or to thank them. Ruby suddenly chose that moment, and you took a deep breath, hoping you could tamper the gay that was rising within you. You cleared your throat nervously, and sat down next to Ruby's bed, making sure to hold her hand. “Hello again….”

“Pyrrha? What happened?” Ruby croaks out, and oh my god, you’re already blushing. Did her voice always sound this sexy when she talked?

“You passed out because you took a hit for me. I thought I had it handled but…”

“Its okay. Hey, at least you owe me now, heh.”

Your eyes sparkle with amusement. “Oh? And what does this Rose want in return for saving this knight from peril?”

“A kiss.” Ruby says simply, and you startle.

“W-what?”

“The chocolate? I hear those are really ni–ow!!”

“You jerk!” you laugh, punching her arm, and Ruby giggles.

“Seriously though. You don’t need to repay me for anything. That’s what friends do.”

You bit your lip. “What if I don’t want to be friends anymore?”

She startles this time

“W-What?” Oh Oum, here we go.

“Ruby, I–“

“YES I WILL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND!!” Ruby shouts, and her eyes go comically wide. This would be funny if your eyes weren’t mimicking hers right now. You’d continue, but you’re too busy gaping to say anything.

“This is so embarrassing I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything–”

“NO!”

“No?”

“I mean, I want us to be best friends, but I also want us to be…more…”

“You mean bestest of friends? Will Nora be okay with that?” Ruby says, scratching her bandage. Oh, Oum help you. How can someone looks so cute while doing that?!

“No Ruby.” You begin, taking her hands in yours. “I mean, I want us to be girlfriends.”

~

“What”. You squeak out, and Pyrrha winces.

“I said…”

“YES!”

“Huh?”

“Did I fucken stutter?”

Pyrrha blinks owlishly, and you blush, turning your gays…I mean…gaze away.

“Er…what I meant to gay…to say…was that I’d love to be your girlfriend Pyrrha Nikos.”

Pyrrha lets out a breath and laughs. She cups your face and oh my god you’re kissing Pyrrha Nikos. You’re kissing this amazing woman, this Amazonian goddess, who actually takes an interest in you, likes you enough to want to date you! Oh Oum, you were going to faint.

When the kiss breaks apart, you lean back in too fast, and accidentally bang your heads together. You yelp in pain, and Pyrrha blinks. After a minute her eyes go wide, and she mouths an 'Ooo' before placing her hand on her forehead, and dramatically saying “Oooohh, that hurt very bad!”

You giggle and throw a pillow at her.

~

“So…did you two shag then?”

"YANG!"

~

A/N: I want to apologise because this fic took a while to write. I lost my insp. Rip. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, lads.

P.S. There should be two spaces between each sentence but Tumblr is a shit site and I don't know how to use it. h...e...l...p...

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #165

“if you’re in danger, i’m here to save ya.”

Do you own a water gun? No. What item most embarrasses you to purchase? I wouldn't really know, I haven't bought much for myself... but I suppose probably some kind of sex toy. Favorite thing you’ve ever painted? Two meerkats grooming. It's on a huge thing of burlap. Are there any songs that remind you of your mother? "Wherever I May Roam" by Metallica, because she aaaalways says she wants the lyrics "my body lies, but still I roam" on her urn. I'm making goddamn sure that happens when she passes. Have you ever picked wild flowers? Yes. Have you ever walked through a forest? Yeah. Have you ever seen a mountain in person? Yes. Do you prefer jam or butter on your biscuits? Jam. Have you ever explored somewhere abandoned? Yes, but I wanna do it morrreee! Take my camera with me! This is exactly why I'm getting into exploration channels on YouTube, finding shit like this. I'm addicted to Sam & Colby because of this. Where is the last place you went to as a tourist? Chicago. What country do you most want to travel to? Germany. Do you have a garden? No. Have you ever kept a physical, hand-written journal? Yeah. Have you ever caught a butterfly in your hands? I know I've picked up injured ones as a kid, dunno about otherwise. Are there any interesting landmarks where you live? Not that I can think of. Which fairytale is your favorite? I'mma throw hands if you say Shrek isn't one. Which mythological deity or creature is your favorite? Dragons. Which type of muffin is your favorite? Chocolate chip. What is your favorite shade of blue? Pastel. Do you prefer iced tea or hot tea? Iced coffee or hot coffee? Hate both. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? Nooo, not a fan. Honestly, have you ever crashed a party before? No. Do you know how to do the moon walk? No. What is one of your favorite comedy movies? White Chicks. Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Yeah. Onion rings or french fries? The latter. I am /picky/ with onion rings, but usually don't like them. Has anybody ever told you that you talk too fast? I've been told so when I'm hyper. Who is the best cook that you know? I don't know. I guess Jason was? His initial career path was chef, and he was in fact great at it. What’s the largest amount that you can juggle at one time? I can't juggle. What was your favorite thing to go on at the playground as a kid? Swing. Do you know how much you weighed at birth? How much? 7-something pounds? When you do a puzzle do you find all the edges first? Do some people not??? (If you sleep with the tv on) what’s usually on tv when you wake up? N/A Who was the last person to ask you to hang out? Did you agree to hang out with them? Colleen, and no. Have you ever had to take a stool or urine test? Why did you have to do this? I've had way too many UTIs because I used to drink literally zero water, so. Before my surgery, they needed a sample too to ensure I wasn't pregnant. Is there a food that you eat basically every day? What food is that? No. Do you have Oovoo? No. Do you know anyone who has ever been in a movie? Who and what movie were they in? What was their part? No. Do you know anyone who has had salmonella? Did you ever have it yourself? What about e coli? No. When was the last time you brought a pet to the vet? What was wrong with it? Last winter when we had to put Cali down. A tumor on her spleen ruptured and filled her body with so much blood that she almost couldn't breathe as her lungs were running out of room to expand. She also had some kind of mass on her liver that was probably causing more issues. Name something that you used to do with your family that you no longer do with them or at all: Trick-or-treating. Who was the last member of your extended family to visit? Where were they visiting from? Grammy and her husband. They were heading back down to Florida. Have you bought any new clothes in the past week? Nope. At what age do you think you’ll be ready to have children? Never. If I wanted kids, mid-20s/late-20s, probably. How many children would you like? Once more, if, two, or even just one. I'd really want my child to have a sibling at least somewhat near in age, but I don't know if I could handle two. Is there anyone in your friendship group that your parents don’t like? Not anymore. Have your grandparents ever asked you about your love/sex life? No. Have you ever been diagnosed with anything unexpected, mental or physical illness? How did you finally find out? Hm... I think everything I've had was at least somewhat expected. Like, I knew something was wrong. The most surprising though was I suppose inactive MRSA after my surgery and the incision re-opened to heal on its own for seven damn months. ACTUALLY, vertigo was random as hell. I started experiencing it and went to the doc. Where do you like to sit when you’re on the computer? In bed. What is the biggest decision you’ve made in the past year? Return back to school. Would you rather hike through the desert, the prairies, the forest, or the tundra? The prairies. If you could reconnect with someone from your past, who would it be and why? Megan. We were absolute best friends, and hopefully she's grown up by now. What movie/show "emotionally scarred" you as a kid? Courage The Cowardly Dog. Watched it anyway lmao. What’s your favorite flavor of jello? Strawberry, probably. Have you ever been thrown out of the movies? No. What would you do if you found out you were moving to Tennessee? I wouldn't complain, Tennessee is beautiful. My brother lives there anyway, and I haven't seen him in years. What does your favorite hair tie/accessory look like? I don't wear any. Do you have a favorite kind of milk? 2%, whole, etc? 2%, maybe. Do you have a favorite drummer? No. Are there any symbols that have personal meaning to you? i.e: dice, a necklace, etc. What are they? Not off the top of my head. What’s the biggest spider you’ve come across? Writing spiders. Have you ever been bitten by anything venomous? No. Do you know anyone who has been knighted? No. Which Mario game would you say is your favorite? That is, if you even like Mario? I've only really played Mario Kart. The others don't interest me. Do you have a deviantART account? Yes. Have you ever had acne? If not, you’re so lucky. I did through puberty, of course. Mine was rough then. It stopped when I was about 19. Now I just have the occasional blemish or two when I'm on my period. Ever walked into a facility of the opposite gender - like restrooms? I did once in elementary school on a work day (teachers come to get shit done; Mom was an assistant teacher) with my friends lol. Ever lost your car in the parking lot? If so, did you use your car alarm to find it again? Don't have my own car. I don't even know if Mom's ever had a car with an alarm. Has there ever been a Christmas where you had to do without gifts-wise? No. Do you type with capital letters and proper punctuation? So this is super weird: It's actually whatever I find aesthetically pleasing wherever it's being written, as well as what "voice" sounds more appropriate??? But I usually write properly. Honestly, do you think that you’re going to be an overprotective parent? Hypothetically once again, I know I would be. The world's evil. What was the last kind of chips you ate? Hot fries. What is one thing that you really wish you could understand, but don’t? Economics so I could actually know how the fuck to handle money. What brings out the worst in you? Treating me like a child that knows nothing. How many friends do you have that don’t smoke? Idk. There's only one friend I see even rarely, and he doesn't though. Doesn’t it drive you nuts when people think they ‘need’ to have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes. You need to learn that you're not an unfinished puzzle. You're complete on your own. Some people were really destructive as a child, were you? No. On average, how many songs do you listen to in a day? This greatly varies. Do you ever buy your pet(s) birthday or Christmas presents? Always. Do you think your current relationship will last forever? No exaggeration, no over-optimistic thinking, yes. One thing you promised yourself you’d never do and then did? Attempt suicide. Are you more scared of going to the doctors or dentists? Doctors. Have you ever rolled off your bed in your sleep? No. Who is the most overrated singer? Uhhh. I dunno. Maybe Ed Sheeran. What is your greatest weakness? I guess how insecure I am. Do you have any pets that you had since you were born? No. Favorite undersea creature? Seahorses. Favorite type of chocolate? Milk. What toys did you play with as a child? Plastic animals, Pokemon figures, Barbies or Bratz if Nicole wanted to, stuffed animals... What types of music do you listen to? Loads of different kinds of metal. I'm finding I'm really getting into indie as well. What, without fail, makes you cry? Mark crying for any reason be it sadness or joy I am pathetic. What makes a movie really enjoyable for you? Well thought-out, interesting plots and charismatic characters. Name a game you are really good at. Shadow of the Colossus. The most childish part of your personality? I can occasionally be a bit of a brat if something I'm serious about doesn't go my way oops. What did you last put on a piece of toast? Butter, cinnamon, and sugar. Have you ever witnessed a serious physical fight? No. Do you enjoy corn on the cob? YES, though my lip ring makes it a pain. Have you ever bought alcohol or cigarettes for someone underage? No. If you use Snapchat, have you ever had a screenshot taken of you? N/A When in a waiting room, how do you pass the time? Mess around on my phone. Usually wander through Pinterest. What was the last brutally honest comment you made about someone? I'm not sure. What is your favorite thing to do with just one friend? Go out to eat and talk. Have you ever been kissed under the mistletoe? By who? Jason may have, but I don't remember. Are you prone to paranoia? YUP. Has anyone ever bought you a ring? Mom and Jason. Accidentally dropped the one Mom gave me down the drain semi-recently, then Jason's broke within a few weeks. Kept the jewel for a while but eventually threw it out. What was the most stressful project you had so far while in school? Jesus, when I was still in a game design class and we had to read the most fucking boring book and then do some analysis shit of it. Who in your family are you closest to? Mom. In your opinion, what is the scariest natural disaster? Earthquakes, maybe. Or tornadoes. What time of the day is the best for you? I'm usually in my best mood in the morning. Do you have an electric toothbrush? No. Have you ever had to board up your windows because of a hurricane? No. What do you think about employers checking on personal sites before hiring employees? Sometimes I actually think it's a good idea, other times no??? Like you can get important details of someone by looking at what they post, but at the same time, social media doesn't always portray someone that well. You can get the wrong idea. Have you ever visited anyone in a rehab? No. Ice in your drink: yes or no? No. Do you prefer getting money, gift cards, or an actual gift on your birthday? Money. When was the last time you got a new bed? Is your bed comfy? Long time ago, and I guess. What was the last job you applied for? Ummm I'm not sure. Oh, I think for newborn photography. Do you have any mild food allergies? No. Who was the last person you were with that smelled REALLY good? My younger sis. Last person to make you seriously mad? Colleen. How is your mom? Stressed, always. Do you like going through old photos and recalling memories? Depends on the picture. And time. What movie coming out are you most excited to see? Why? The live-action The Lion King because it's my favorite movie. What song really gets to your heart and inspires you? "Life Won't Wait" by Ozzy. Do you see a lot of stray animals around your home? No. Do you have fireflies around where you live, or do you wish you did? In the area, yes, but we don't really see them in my yard much. Did you used to do Easter egg hunts when you were a child? Yes. Have you ever bought anybody a mug? Omg, I found one that said, "Be nice, I'm in control of your happy pills" in this random store once and I HAD to get it for my psychiatrist. He's not supposed to accept presents, so we just pretended it was from mom lol. He has it on his desk. Do you believe in divorce? In cases such as abuse, infidelity, or other pretty serious issues, yes, but I usually don't advise divorce. Communicate like mature adults and fix what you got married for. Who taught you the most valuable lesson in life and what was that lesson? "Deal with the past or the past deals with you," maybe. My Holly Hill teacher taught me a million lessons that greatly affected my outlook on many components to a healthy life. Have you ever fallen into a hole or crevice whilst hiking? While getting to fishing spots with Dad, my foot may have slipped through rocks or something. Have you ever had a serious conversation with your dad? One that I remember. He took me out to lunch one day when I was still struggling with Jason to just talk to me about relationship stuff. I cherish that memory dearly. In YOUR eyes, which of the three is the most dangerous, and which is the least: Marijuana, Alcohol, Cigarettes? Alcohol, then I'm not sure. Marijuana has a lot of dangers people like to ignore, but then again, it has some health benefits while cigs have none. What is the nerdiest thing that you own? Probably the big Illidan poster I have beside my bed lul. What is the preppiest thing that you own? *shrug* If you are popular, have you ever wondered what it would be like to have no friends? What do you think it might be like? I already just about have none, and it's lonely as fuck. If you are a loner, have you ever wondered what it would be like to be popular? What do you think it might be like? No. I don't seek popularity, just not such a lack of company. Every tattoo has a story behind it; if you have any, what are the stories behind yours? My semicolon butterfly is tribute to both the butterfly and semicolon projects. "Ohana" is obvious. "How rare and beautiful it is to even exists" just speaks deeply to me as someone who wanted to die for years. "Perfectly flawed" also means a lot to me and comes from an Otep song of the same name. "You're awful... I love you!" written in Sara's handwriting I adore because we pretty much call each other evil all the damn time all the while loving each other. :') Who do you know that has a particularly funny or annoying laugh? HA ME I HATE IT. Is there anything you do that is annoying to your friends or family? Oh, I'm sure. I'm told all the time by people to make myself at home when I'm at someone else's house standing like a statue, for one. I do this sooo much, even a bit at my sister's house when it comes to wanting a drink or something. My pacing makes people anxious, I'm told constantly. Sure there's more. What is the most number of sodas that you have drank in one day? I. DON'T WANT. TO KNOW. Until two-three months ago, I lived mostly off soda, and I do NOT know how I didn't gain weight from it. Now I absolutely refuse to go past two, but usually only get one. The idea of drinking as much as I did almost makes me nauseous. Have you ever gone through a period of mass weight-gain/weight-loss? What was that time like for you? Well first Paxil made me gain weight, but I quit it and did WiiFit all summer and lost 40 pounds. I was so proud of myself. Then, I was put on Abilify when I had no need to be, and let's not say how much it made me gain because my then-doctor was a fucking idiot that thought I was doing something terribly wrong and kept me on it, not knowing the side effects. :^) My current psychiatrist was lost entirely as to why I'd been prescribed it, and he immediately connected my weight gain to it because it *murders* metabolism. Was taken off it immediately, boom, started to melt weight with no change to my diet for quite a while. I'm still far from my normal weight. I could write a novel on how this was/is for me, but I'll just say I'm bitter as fuck and ~so~ confident in my shit body. (: If you have one, do you and your significant other have a similar taste in music? Yes. Longest plane ride you’ve ever been on? I'm sure to Michigan, but I don't remember how long it was. I was a kid. Favorite kind of bean? I absolutely loathe beans. I can't even swallow them. If you had to move to another country, where would you move? Canada, realistically. I'd love to live in Germany, but that would be much different from where I am now and would require learning an entire new language. I like Canada anyway. Does it bother you when people call you ‘ma'am’ or 'sir?’ No, it's polite...? Did you partake in senior skip days? Yup. Would you ever consider having an abortion? If my life was endangered, yes, and if - God forbid - I was raped, I possibly would because of how scarring that would be. I've said before I think pregnancy would legitimately be traumatic to me, and if it was because of that, I couldn't even begin to imagine. Have you ever lived in an apartment before? I've told the Jason & co. story before. I also stayed with Colleen for at least a month when I was technically homeless, and she was in an apartment then. Have you ever been questioned by the police? No. Have you ever been to an amusement park out of state? Yeah. Have you ever been responsible for someone’s death? Yeesh, no. Do you know a lot about serial killers? No. Have the police ever been looking for you? HAHAHAHA YES. When I went to the beach one time, my sister, a friend, and I went walking along the shore one night and apparently Mom didn't hear us mention it. Freaked the fuck out and called them to find us. Sorry, Mom. Where do you get most of your accessories from? *shrugs* Maybe HotTopic? Do you know how to shoot a gun and hit a target? No. Are you a good listener? It's complicated. I try very hard to be, but even with people I seriously care about, my mind can wander. But I really try. What was the last bad thing to happen to you? Serious, continuous loneliness. The last good thing to happen to you? I guess finding out I don't have hypoglycemia. Do you think today’s youth is being corrupted/messed up because of TV? It depends on what they watch. Some things they of course shouldn't see, but people tend to take it too far. Have your parents supported every decision you’ve made? I'm sure they haven't. Do you like to listen to rock music/screamo music when you’re angry/upset? Lol did you really just group rock and screamo up???? I'm pretty much always listening to metal or rock. I don't like purely screamo. Are you embarrassed to tell your parents you love them around your friends? Not at all. It bothers me immensely when it does bother people. What’s your favorite sappy/romantic song? Shit, I dunno. I'm a sucker for a lot. Do you know anyone who has changed their first name? Not legally, to my knowledge. Which one of your senses would you be the most devastated to lose? Sight. Hearing almost ties it. Have you ever dated someone who posted a ton of selfies on social media? No, but why does that matter??? Do you know anyone who has been on life support, and survived? I don't think so. Do your parents have a strong relationship together? They're divorced. Mom fucking hates Dad, while he's totally over it. When was the last time you attended a religious service of any sort? Well over a year ago. Do you ever feel like you're sharing too much about yourself online? Eh, nah. Are you on good or bad terms with your most recent ex? Good. What was the last necklace you wore? A spiked choker. Have you ever read any of Charles Darwin's works? No. If there was such a thing as a mental health first aid kit, what would you want to be in it? Oh boy. I'd say it'd be personal to each person. Do you think there are more dimensions than what we're able to perceive? Maybe. What was the last carbonated drink you had? I think Mtn. Dew. Does anyone in your family have schizophrenia? Yes, my half-sister. What light in your house was the last to have a bulb burn out? Living room. Have you ever been fired? If so, did you get unemployment benefits? No. Never really worked long enough to be. Do any of your neighbors have loud children? No. Have you ever been in an abandoned house? No, we were too scared to go past the doorway lol. What's your favorite YouTube channel? UM Markiplier????????????????????? Do you go to church? No. If so, what denomination is it?  N/A What is your favorite thing to make wishes on? Just birthday candles. Don't believe that does anything, but. C'mon, you gotta. What is your favorite phase of the moon? Full, duh!! What is your favorite way to get high, if applicable? N/A Which name do you like best: Cora, Flora, Dora, or Laura? Laura. If applicable, what is your favorite version of the Bible to read? N/A Are you contemplating/debating something right now? No. Have you ever had a book completely come unbound from its cover? Childhood books, probs. What design is on your shower curtain? Blue and white waves, I think?? I clearly pay attention to something I see every day. What’s the highest you can count in a different language? To like a million in German. Where would you like to be buried? Cremate me, please. Have you ever seen a ghost orb picture? Quiiite a lot in our old house. Do you think abortion should be illegal? No. Do you know how to double-dutch? I did as a kid. I couldn't jump into it, though.

[michelle-who-blog]

Halt Losing Time: seven Things Extremely Productive Men and women Do On a daily basis

Soon after spending the final various yrs coaching persons and businesses regarding how to make Results without difficulty, I’ve understood that amongst the greatest road blocks to achievements would be the hole involving perceived and real efficiency. Individuals frequently Consider they are increasingly being effective, yet they aren't truly transferring the needle while in the parts that make a difference most. As a substitute, Many people pick out to accomplish The straightforward responsibilities to “get credit rating” and sense we are increasingly being productive. Many people contact this procrastination by efficiency: putting off the tasks that actually need our notice in favor of anything at all that won't stress, annoy, or take a look at us. Here i will discuss 7 Patterns that hugely productive individuals have in prevalent. If you wish to function considerably less and earn additional, this is a good place to begin:[ Read -> Treinamento Negócio Mobile ]

Prioritize.

Be ruthless with the aim. Develop a To accomplish listing the night time in advance of and inquire on your own the next problem: “Exactly what is the SINGLE Most vital matter I really need to get performed tomorrow?” That item is #1 on the To carry out record. For those who entire that another thing, you’ve experienced a fantastic working day. Make this happen each and every evening even though arranging the subsequent workday and you will be astounded at the final results.

Be Selective.

Limit your To accomplish List to your Utmost of a few factors. Give attention to the a few things that will move your organization forward one of the most. Which is your To Do list. That is certainly ALL. Do not increase the rest. Lots of people have very extended To accomplish lists that they in no way complete within a presented working day, draining them equally emotionally and bodily. Highly productive people today learn how to concentrate.

Do a Data Dump.

When all of those unimportant To Dos are floating all around inside your head, consider expending ten-15 minutes writing down Every little thing you may perhaps possibly should do. It's not your To accomplish checklist. This can be a info dump to liberate your Mind. Seek advice from this checklist with a weekly foundation to view if the priority of any with the products qualifies it in your three product To complete checklist – normally the record lies dormant. :[ Read -> Treinamento Negócio Mobile ]

Limit E mail.

Look at e-mail in concentrated blocks no more than three times daily. 1 analyze showed the typical employee spends 13 hours a WEEK, or about 28% in their workweek, carrying out e-mail! And, when distracted it takes our brains up 23 minutes to Get well. That means that reading through a single e-mail can established you again by around thirty minutes! This is amongst the major time sucks. By examining electronic mail at distinct points of your respective day, you may optimize your ability to stay targeted and complete the responsibilities that actually subject (which you identified in #one and #two over). A person option suggested by very productive folks should be to manually download email. By managing when electronic mail comes, it gets a interaction Instrument as opposed to a distraction.

Halt Multi-Tasking.

Multi-tasking is scientifically proven to be ineffective. In currently’s tech significant environment, we don’t target and we do as well a lot of things without delay. Are you presently spinning your wheels on a lot of things and finishing nothing? Is your consideration dispersed? Try out specializing in only ONE job at any given time by carrying out a Power Hour. :[ Read -> Treinamento Negócio Mobile ]

A Electrical power Hour consists of concentrated twenty moment intervals where you center on only one process. Place away all interruptions. Silence your cellular phone, turn off electronic mail notifications, or near your laptop, after which devote 20 minutes Fully Centered on your most important undertaking. At the conclusion of twenty minutes, take a two minute split. Extend, shift, breathe. Then do A further twenty minute interval. Right after 3 of those 20 moment intervals take a ten to fifteen moment split. That’s just one electrical power hour (it’s a lot more like eighty 5 minutes full). In the event you entire your #one endeavor at any level in the Power Hour, proceed to the #2 task on the To complete list and the like. The point is always to target one particular process at any given time, with no other distractions.

Locate a Quiet House.

When accomplishing a Power Hour, it may be valuable to make a ritual or find a sacred Place where you can get the job done uninterrupted. You may want to go away your open Business office House and go to Starbucks or perform in the convention space for one hour. Discover a quiet position in which you gained’t be disturbed and give attention to completing your most important job for the day.

Begin Solid.

Do The key task on your To accomplish list FIRST THING in the morning, before anything – In particular ahead of responding to e-mail. This gives you a sense of accomplishment and Vitality that can gas you the rest of the working day. Every one of us procrastinate on some of the biggest initiatives, and that's what keeps us stuck. Thriving individuals tackle The most crucial assignments without delay when they are at their freshest in the morning.

In case you observe these 7 principals for just one week, you are going to detect that you’re finding additional accomplished in significantly less time. The next concern results in being – Exactly what are you about to do with all your newfound spare time? Many of us make the rookie error of losing that time in unproductive jobs, like incessantly checking email or Fb. I propose you devote that time within an activity that provides you pure joy. Permitting your self to get effective And also to celebrate that productivity is the key to Success without difficulty.

Vanessa Loder is undoubtedly an entrepreneur, inspirational speaker and writer whose organization, Akoya Power, supports Girls in stepping into their electricity unapologetically. She is also the Co-Founder of the Mindfulness Based mostly Achievement curriculum, a software that teaches substantial achievers how you can attain success without difficulty Vanessa gained her MBA from Stanford University and is qualified in hypnosis and earlier everyday living regression therapeutic. Her particular transformation, subsequent study and do the job has brought about Countless Ladies discovering far more passion, achievements and enjoy with ease.

:[ Read -> Treinamento Negócio Mobile ]

[waterlilyvioletfog]

Lyanna Was Fond of Flowers- A Meta on Lyanna, the Tourney of Harrenhal, Consent, the Tower of Joy, and Finally, Roses

[@nobodysuspectsthebutterfly um here? A gift? This is as good as I can write it right now. Please tell me if I did alright!] 

Lyanna Stark was sixteen years old when she died. I don’t think I can stress this enough: Lyanna Stark was not old enough to order a fucking pillow pet when she died. There, that’s as bluntly as I can put it. You got that? She was not old enough to dial a phone number and ask for an as-seen-on-TV stuffed animal. That’s how young she was. 

With this firmly in the front of our thoughts, let us proceed into the depths of the tangled woman-child best known as Lyanna Stark. Don’t worry, It’s better under the cut.

Rhaegar Targaryen, Crown Prince of the Seven Kingdoms rode up to Lyanna Stark, the daughter of a Great Lord, at the Tourney of Harrenhal, 281 AC. The greatest tourney of its time, with prizes several times what was offered by Tywin Lannister at the Lannisport tourney of 276, this was a Big Fucking Deal. Hundreds of people flocked to Harrenhal. Hundreds of people were in attendance to this moment, a moment that would go down in history like Paris gifting the apple to Aphrodite. This is the moment, Westerosi historians will all agree, that e v e r y t h i n g changed. Picture it if you would- a lovely April afternoon, bright banners in every color imaginable, hundreds of strangers packed into the stands to watch the jousting, like some medieval superbowl. Picture a man more beautiful than anything, with streaming silver hair, ride up on his white horse towards a pretty young girl. 

It looks like a song, doesn’t it? The prelude to a grand Opus, the prelude to a master gardener’s final work, his last best hope of making a ripple in history. You see that too? Good. That means that you understand some level of the context this story is in. 

It all looks like a song to Lyanna, too. The prologue to a love story. Her love story. She’s fourteen years old, and this is a man she met only a few days ago under the silent gaze of a tree and maybe a few men in white cloaks. The Crown Prince extends a crown of flowers in her direction, a crown of blue roses, winter roses, her very favorite sort of flower. We’ve drawn this moment half a hundred times before. There’s always someone just out of frame of the painting though, someone just out of sight. 

A woman. Another woman. The first woman. Princess Elia Martell of Dorne. Now Princess Elia Targaryen of Dragonstone. Her daughter is at home, her son a bun in an oven, if even that. We can’t quite see her expression: is it rage, is it hurt, is it guilt, is it disappointment? Perhaps it is fear. I’ve heard people say that they could feel the weight of a moment, that they could feel the strings of fate tightening inextricably around them- perhaps Elia could feel them too, could see the eventual carnage and destruction, perhaps she could see her children’s blood upon the walls of her home, perhaps she could hear her own screams. We’ll never know, I suppose. The painter has blurred out the faces of everyone except for the prince and the maiden. Don’t be fooled: he wants you to forget about everything but the song for the moment. Don’t forget Elia Martell, who walked among vipers and was unbitten. 

There’s someone else in the painting, too. There, lurking in the shadows, is our future king. Lord Robert Baratheon of Storm’s End, a hulking blue-eyed brute. He’s nineteen and his betrothed has just been handed a flower crown by a gorgeous man. He’s nineteen and his future wife just received a declaration of love from a married man. Can you see him, our Menelaus? I know he can be hard to see; I didn’t see him either, in the beginning.  

Lyanna accepts the flowers. She can’t very well tell him to go away and give them to Elia, can she? 

The smiles have died. The party is at an end. Our players return, like birds, to their nests.

Fast forward another year. It is 282 AC. Aegon VI Targaryen has been born, and Princess Elia Martell, it is revealed, will not be able to give birth to any more children. Rhaegar is faced with a dilemma: he believes that in order to save the world, he must have a son and two daughters. He has two of the three children, but still he needs his Visenya. His wife cannot give him his Visenya, but she must still be born. Can you see it? Can you see the Silver Prince brood as he plays his high harp? Can you hear his self-absorbed sighs of torment? 

Lyanna Stark is in the Riverlands. Why, we can’t be sure. It most likely is because her brother Brandon is getting married in a few weeks, but who knows? Lyanna is further south than that, on the grounds of Harrenhal. Perhaps she and the Prince arranged this; how else could he have known where to find her? If so, who contacted whom? And why? Perhaps it started out as something innocent, a maintenance of a friendship formed under the gaze of a tree. Perhaps it turned into laughter, and teasing, and flirting. Perhaps it turned into something not-so-innocent as Lyanna confessed that she didn’t want to marry Robert. Perhaps there were murmurs of sympathy from a pretty prince, because he hadn’t particularly wanted to marry his wife either. 

Perhaps there was a promise to a fifteen year old girl that she didn’t have to marry a drunken man-whore if she came to meet him at Harrenhal in a month. He would protect her, squirrel her away not far from his family home of Summerhall. She could live there for the rest of her days, or at least until he could remarry again. And the fifteen year old believes him, because he’s the Crown Prince and she knows that he can make all these things happen. She believes him, because she has faith that she is in a love song. Lyanna believes him, because beautiful people never lie. 

And if, for an instant, she feels a moment of doubt, this is what she realizes: she has been carrying on an emotional affair with a married man for a year. Her reputation would be ruined if anyone found out. If she refuses him, he could ruin her, he could burn her alive, he could tell his father that SHE was the Knight of the Laughing Tree and watch as she gets dragged to the pyre. And perhaps- perhaps- she has already lost her maidenhead to this Silver Prince because no one really knows what happened at Harrenhal. 

Can you see it? Picture her, if you would, the painting of a fifteen year old girl, with a long face and infinite grey eyes full of songs. Picture her, biting her lip, agonizing over her decision: does she stay or go? 

She goes. She goes alone, without telling anyone where she’s going, because then they could find her, then they could stop her. Lyanna’s watched Downton Abbey, she knows better than to leave a note. 

(But maybe, ponders a butterfly, maybe she did write a note, and maybe it was sent and maybe a three-eyed crow in the far, untouchable North, stopped the letter from going where it was supposed to go. The saviors, after all, could never be born if that letter reached where it had been sent.) 

And so Lyanna Stark disappears for a year and a half to the Tower of Joy.  

Little is known about what went on in the Tower of Joy. We don’t know when they got there, we don’t know if Rhaegar raped Lyanna, we don’t know if she knew about Brandon and Rickard, we don’t know if she tried to escape, we don’t know whether she was happy there, we don’t know if Rhaegar genuinely cared about her. We do know that Rhaegar and Lyanna had sexual intercourse at least once. We do know that Rhaegar left at some point. We do know that the Kingsguard stopped Eddard Stark and his men from entering the tower as Lyanna screamed for them. We do know that she knew about Rhaegar’s death at the Trident and the Sack of King’s Landing and the fate of her son’s half-siblings. We do know that Rhaegar left her in hostile territory, 15-16 years old and pregnant, with only a wetnurse to help her through the birth itself. 

Lyanna Stark dies in a bed of her own blood, in her brother’s arms, begging him for the life of her child, clutching desperately to the dead petals of long withered winter roses. Lyanna Stark, sixteen years old, dies. Lyanna’s bones are brought back to Winterfell, and so is her son. And we know what happens next.  

Can’t you see her, lying there? Don’t you see the bed with its pale sheets, and a gaunt young woman sweating and bleeding her life out onto them? Can’t you smell the metal tang of blood and the salt of sweat and tears? Can’t you hear Ned Stark’s sobs, his terrified promises, the squalling of a newborn, the murmuring of a wetnurse by the name of Wylla? Can’t you feel the tension, as Wylla, Howland, and Ned decide upon what’s to be done? Can’t you hear the last strains of Lyanna Stark’s song:

Lyanna, your song is the song of girls everywhere. You did not do everything right, but you didn’t do anything wrong. You trusted a man you shouldn’t have trusted, and now you lie dead in your bed. Oh Lyanna, oh Lyanna, willful and beautiful and dead. 

Can’t you smell the roses? 

The gardener cackles as our hearts plummet into our stomachs and the orchestra falls silent. Lyanna, prelude to all, with a prologue of flower crowns and an epilogue of dead rose petals, it is fitting that you were fond of flowers.

[sage-nebula]

4, 7, 9 (Revolutionary), 25.

4.) What is your favorite genre to write for?

HURT/COMFORT, hands down and bar none. Hurt/comfort is absolutely my jam, because—listen. I am really good with angst. I am skilled at coming up with really dark, angsty scenarios, and I absolutely have a thing where I like to put my favorite characters through some degree of emotional (and sometimes physical) torment. Like, it really depends on the characters, but you know that one text post that’s like, “I want to see Character A get hurt, and Character B get really angsty about it”? That’s me, right there. I like to do that. I wrote a 100k fic of my Yu-Gi-Oh! OTP where that text post basically sums them up for the duration of the fic. (Though trust me, the one getting hurt was plenty angsty about the situation.) It’s a good (though dramatic) time. I tend to be pretty good at that.

But that said … I’m of the opinion that there needs to be some emotional payoff, and that’s where the comfort comes in. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not wholly averse to tragedies; I have a few in mind, and there are some stories that I feel truly do earn their unhappy endings. Animorphs is one of those, ultimately, though there is at least one character that makes it out all right. But with that said, when I write … if I’m going to have my readers watch characters they love suffer for a while, then I want to reward them, so to speak, with those characters getting the comfort that they also deserve at some point down the line. I might have—or rather, did write 100k of my YGO OTP suffering, but I also reunited and gave them a happy ending at the end of it all. There was a whole lot of hurt, but it was rewarded with comfort. I loooooove angst, and I’m skilled at writing it, but I also like writing that comfort as well.

(And on that note? One of my very best friends @severalbakuras helped get me through writing my masters thesis by co-writing Keitor hurt/comfort with me over Discord. Don’t get me wrong, I was steadily working on my thesis, but I’d write my thesis while I waited for her reply, take a small break to shoot a reply back at her, and then return to my thesis. Knowing that I’d have some delicious Keitor hurt/comfort to look forward to when I opened up the Discord window really spiked some joy into my heart and helped get me through the thesis writing progress, so honestly … I just really, really love hurt/comfort. It’s magnificent.)

7.) When is your preferred time to write?

That’s … a complicated question. Honestly, I would prefer to write during the hours in which I’m supposed to be awake, i.e., anywhere between 1pm and 10pm. Unfortunately, my brain only likes to be at its most creative and awake between the hours of 3am and 7am, when I should have already been asleep for hours due to the fact that I work a full time job during the day. It’s … a curse, honestly, and it all comes down to my delayed sleep phase disorder / probable ADD and just … I just want to be diurnal, man. I’d give anything to be diurnal. But I’m nocturnal, and as such my best writing happens when it’s an ungodly hour of the night / morning and I should be asleep. C u r s e d.

9.) In Revolutionary, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?

Ooh … this one is a bit hard, because honestly, there are a few different scenes (or parts of scenes, at least) that come to mind, and I don’t … I don’t think I can pick just one. So at the risk of sounding a bit arrogant, it’s a toss-up between:

During the scene when the canon reality Paladins are on the bridge, and they’ve confronted this reality’s Paladins, they get into an argument over what Lotor and his team have decided to do with Voltron. Specifically:

“You said you needed Voltron,” he said, and once again his eyes were narrowed in Keith’s direction. Keith returned the stare in kind. “What could you possibly need Voltron for? The Galra Empire has already dominated half the universe. Zarkon’s ships are powerful enough to destroy any fleet. Why do you need Voltron at all?”

“You really are good at missing the obvious, aren’t you?” Ezor asked. Shiro glared at her.

“It’s to neutralize the threat,” Allura said, ignoring Ezor. “Zarkon wanted control of Voltron so that it could not be used against him. Now that he has it—”

“But wait,” Pidge said. “Wasn’t Zarkon obsessed with the Black Lion? He wanted it for himself. So if that’s the case, why’s he letting Keith fly it?”

“Zarkon’s not letting me do anything,” Keith said, disgusted. “We don’t answer to him, and he doesn’t have anything he didn’t already have before we found the Castle.”

Shiro looked back at Keith. “Then what are you doing with it?”

“My father and his Empire have ruled this universe for ten thousand years too long,” Lotor said. He smirked a little as all eyes turned to him. “We seek to change that via revolution.”

“Uhh, nu-uh, no way,” Lance said, and he raised one hand in a stop gesture toward Lotor. “There’s no way you can stand there and try to tell us that you’re the good guys when we’re the good guys. That’s not how this works.”

Lotor gave him a disdainful look. “I was under the impression that we were discussing a war, not a children’s game of Police and Rebels. Please feel free to rejoin the conversation when you’ve matured enough to understand that.”

[…]

“Voltron is a powerful weapon,” Keith said, feeling it best to change the subject to something Allura and the others could hopefully understand. “There are few things in the universe that can rival it, and it’s vital to taking down Zarkon. But all Voltron can do is defend and destroy, and we need to do so much—”

“Voltron is more than just a weapon,” Allura interrupted, and she glared at Keith. “It is a symbol of hope, of victory and eventual peace, and it inspires all who see it. The fact that you do not recognize that is proof enough that you do not deserve to have it.”

“While Voltron may indeed be the symbol you speak of,” Lotor said, “the fact remains, Princess Allura, that symbols do not win wars. Soldiers do. Your words are beautiful, but in the face of an Empire that has ruled for ten thousand years, they are easily crushed. And if you arm the revolution with nothing more than ideals and empty promises, then so, too, are they.”

“The promise of Voltron is not empty,” Allura said fiercely. “And giving people hope when they’ve had none for ten thousand years—giving them something to believe in when they’ve had nothing, is not—!”

“We are giving them something to believe in,” Keith said, and though she turned her scowl back to him, he didn’t back down. “Themselves. Voltron is the most powerful weapon in the universe, but it’s also only one weapon, or five if you count each Lion separately. Voltron can’t be everywhere at once. It’s not possible. While none of the Empire’s fleets can match Voltron in terms of raw strength, that won’t stop them from going back to planets we’ve brought to our side and crushing them while we’re on the other side of the universe trying to help someone else. So we’re teaching them—we’re training them so that they can defend and protect themselves. We’re giving them the strength they need to hit back against the Empire when Zarkon’s commanders come knocking on their doors. We’ll help them when we can, but we won’t always be able to. Voltron won’t always be there. They need to be able to believe in and defend themselves when the time comes.”

“That’s just an excuse to get out of helping people,” Lance said.

Fire lashed through Keith’s veins. “No, it’s not!”

I loved writing the entire scene on the bridge for a lot of reasons, not the least of which because having the canon reality Paladins confront this alternate reality where Lotor, Keith, Acxa, Zethrid, Narti, and Ezor were the Paladins of Voltron instead was a really exciting concept for me. But I really loved writing the above dialogue in particular because it reflects a lot of my feelings about the show, and the situation the characters are all in now. The counter to the idea that the canon reality Paladins are Always Right and that what they do is Always Good, the point that the freed planets being reliant on Voltron is a huge problem and leaves them vulnerable to the Empire, the idea that everyone shouldn’t rally behind a symbol instead of seeing Voltron as the weapon it is (and that said symbol can’t protect them even if they do rally behind it) and so on—being able to point that out in a way that felt natural was something I really enjoyed doing. Also, not for nothing, but I had posted a snippet of this while writing, and a friend of mine who happened to come across that post said that he read this line:

“While Voltron may indeed be the symbol you speak of, the fact remains, Princess Allura, that symbols do not win wars. Soldiers do. Your words are beautiful, but in the face of an Empire that has ruled for ten thousand years, they are easily crushed. And if you arm the revolution with nothing more than ideals and empty promises, then so, too, are they.”

in AJ LoCascio’s voice, which is honestly one of the greatest compliments I have ever received in my entire life. So I mean, that was also a huge boost, haha.

Apart from that, though, I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t have a delightful time with both Keitor scenes. Again, more specifically:

The scene in the training room, both before and after Lotor shows up—I enjoyed the way I wove in both Keith’s physical actions in the present, and how he sparred with the training bot, and also how he reflected on his own thoughts and feelings with regards to the canon reality Paladins and what that said about the life he had led in this reality. (It’s also, going by post-date, the first mention we get of Revender, and oh … I can’t wait to get to that backstory fic, which might be in three-parts so that I can show Keith’s, Acxa’s, and Lotor’s perspectives on what happens on that planet.) I was proud of myself for how I managed to make that flow. But then, once Lotor does show up … I had a lot of fun with Lotor narrating Keith’s actions as a way to needle him into opening up, haha. It’s a bit flirty and ridiculous, but it’s flirty and ridiculous in a way that I feel suits them, and that was a lot of fun to write. (Oh, but also, the way their almost-kiss was interrupted? Ezor purposefully jumping between them? Keith and Acxa playing around on the sofa? Keith tossing “Fun Police Beat Cop” in Zethrid’s face when she calls them out? Yeah, I loved writing all of that, too.)

And then, of course, the scene at the very end. I’ve mentioned it in another post elsewhere, but including all the photos on the wall in Keith’s room was done because I both wanted to show that Keith feels at home in this castle, as well as highlight the fact that he has relationships with all of the other Paladins, not just Lotor—that this alternate reality wasn’t created just so that Keith could be with Lotor, but that Keith is close with each of the girls as well. Moreover, in that scene I also got to show not only that Keith has no problems telling Lotor to get out if he feels annoyed regardless of his feelings for Lotor (like, he’s in love with Lotor, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to sit there and take being lectured about safety from someone who flies into suns, all right), but also … well, the ending scene showcased my headcanon for how they confess feelings for each other, which is basically:

“You are invaluable to me, Keith, not because of what you can do, but because of who you are,” Lotor went on, and though he had raised his voice a little to speak over Keith, Keith’s own voice died in his throat. “Your presence by my side has been instrumental in my—in oursuccess. Yes, you have aided me in battle. Your piloting abilities have natural grace few could ever dream of achieving. But I’ve come to value your companionship more than any of your skillsets. I want you by my side not only for what we can accomplish in our revolution, but also for the time we spend together outside of it.” Lotor paused, and then added more quietly, “There may be others who are capable of training the auxiliary teams or piloting the Black Lion, Keith, but they could never mean to me what you do. For that, above all else, I do not wish to lose you.”

Every nerve in Keith’s body felt electrified. His heart was bashing itself so forcefully against his ribcage that he was not only acutely aware of every rapid beat, but it was actually a little painful. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard, but—Lotor had said it. He said it. Keith did hear every word. And there were no traces of humor in his tone, there was no light of laughter in his eyes. The stare that bore into Keith’s own eyes was not only serious, but sincere. Lotor meant every word. And Keith, his hands shaking—Keith, his out of control heartrate making it a little harder to breathe—Keith—

Keith cupped Lotor’s face between his hands and pulled him down into a fervent kiss.

Lotor confesses like he’s living in a Jane Austen novel. Keith throws words out of the equation altogether and goes straight for action.

So … yes, I loved writing all of those scenes, haha. For different reasons, maybe, but they’re all my favorites. Sorry to ramble on forever, but out of them all, I really could not choose just one. ^^

25.) Have you ever cried while writing a story?

Mmm, I don’t think so. This is going to sound horrible, but even when I’m writing very tragic things, the idea that it could evoke feelings of sadness or tears from my readers makes me feel more excited to do it right and get it posted than anything else, haha. It’s my job to evoke emotion in the reader, and the thought that I could succeed at that makes me really happy (and then I’m ecstatic if I do succeed). So even when I’m writing really tragic, horrible things happening to characters I love, I don’t shed tears because I’m too focused on making sure that I execute it well enough to make others shed tears. Which, again, I know sounds horrible, but … it’s true, nonetheless.

That said, I can still recognize when the things I write are brutal, and I may still feel some pain over it (such as with the hurt/comfort that SB and I wrote over Discord together—that one got me right in the feelings at several different points), but I still don’t shed tears over it. It gets me, but not enough to make me cry.

Thanks for sending these in!

[everydayisanotherstory]

02/15/2021

Dear Diary,

I’m not gonna be writing about my day today. Instead, this entry will be a rant about my sister. I know this seems really immature, but I really need to get everything off my chest and write it all down, even if nobody sees it.

Let’s start from the very beginning.

The furthest back I can remember is 11 years ago, back when I was a little four year old girl. I don’t have many memories from back then, and the few I do have are quite hazy. However, when I do think back on them, I can clearly remember there being a blonde two year old in the majority of them. My sister. In most of my memories of her, she was chasing me around in circles trying to bite me. 

There were other memories of her, happier ones too, where the both of us were sitting on the kitchen floor eating leftover birthday cake, pretending to get married, and more. So, although we did have a few rough times, the majority of our time together was positive. 

As we got older, however, our relationship started worsening. I didn’t pay much mind to it, thinking that it was simply the start of sibling rivalry and non consequential bickering. I was dead wrong. Over the years, her OCD worsened and she became dangerously reactive when things didn’t go how she planned. If I ate one of her cupcakes, she would throw a fit and start screaming and crying, threatening to kill me if I did it again. If I put a decoration in the wrong spot, she would become violently abusive, and start hitting me. And if I ever went in her room, even if it were only for a mere second, she would lash out at me verbally and start hitting me and throwing objects at me. She became controlling and demanding, and I had to succumb to her whims, lest I wish to be harassed. Eventually, even my parents started to dance to her tune, not wishing to deal with the calamity that came when she was upset.

I believe that I was in grade 7 when things really started to take a turn for the worse, and I started to change. That was the year my sister started hanging out with all of my friends. At first, it was only a minor inconvenience. I was jealous, yeah, but I recognized that there was no harm in her expanding her friend group and hanging out with my friends as long as she let me have my alone time with them as well. But over the course of a few weeks, she started seeing them more frequently and I began to feel left out. By that point, my friends were hanging out with her more than they were with me. I tried to talk to my parents about it, but they only scorned me and said I was being “overly clingy”. A few months later, my sister has finally stolen my friends away for good; whenever I walked by them in the halls, they ignored me and all my attempts to reconcile with them were shut down. Due to this, I started to develop a grudge against my sister, as I resented her for stealing away the people I cared most about. I became clingy and controlling, and my friends often called me out on it. Subconsciously, I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I was so terrified of losing my friends to my sister, that I ignored the little voice in my head that told me what I was doing was unethical.

Afterwards, I was no longer the same person. I had become more shrewd, cunning, and calculation. I twisted my words around and manipulated people like puppets on strings. I wasn’t trying to harm anyone, I just wanted to secure myself a position of power so I could better defend myself from the monster I called my sister.

A year later, in grade 8, my depression and anxiety skyrocketed. I started fighting with my family more often, having more mental breakdowns, and taking more medication (none of which helped). My sister became even more abusive (both mentally and physically). I tried to call her out on what she was doing, but everyone (my friends, teachers, parents, etc) took her side and somehow managed to shift the blame to me. That year, I learned a hard lesson: the only difference between a hero and a villain is whether or not society believes him. I have seen many a misunderstood “villain” with the noblest intentions and purest heart, who was called a monster by society. And I’ve seen “heroes”, praised by society and loved by all, who were cruel and manipulative bastards.

Grade 9 was an unusual year. It was weird, in a sense, as there were so many positives and negatives that each had unexpected consequences. In some ways, it was one of the best years of my life, and in others, it was literal hell. Once I adjusted to high school life, the year was pretty chill for the first few months. In winter, though, it became chaotic. My friend’s boyfriend choked me which caused a whole lot of drama that really just made my life even more stressful. After that, I started avoiding my old friends, which made my school life really dull. My life at home was, unfortunately, not any better. My parents were constantly nagging me about homework, projects, and grades which was really stressful. And my sister kept taunting me, making fun of my grades and criticizing my appearance. At dinner time, she would try to aggravate me and start a fight. I would usually ignore her for the first few minutes, until she hit a sensitive topic, and then all hell would break loose. Afterwards, she’d play the victim and somehow manage to pin the blame on me. She’d do this over and over, time and time again, and somehow neither of my parents ever caught on. Eventually, she started provoking my parents as well and starting fights with them. She’d openly taunt them at the dinner table and start criticizing them until they eventually snapped. My parents would tell her that she was pushing buttons and being an attention seeker and get mad at her. But then, the next day, they’d forget all about it. If I tried to bring it to their attention, they’d deny it ever happened. It was infuriating... how could they excuse her horrible behaviour when it was starting to slowly rip our family apart? 

On the bright side of things, I made a lot of new friends and got to do some really fun activities!

And the best part of the year was in April, a few weeks after self quarantine began. I got my dream pony! I was soooo happy! Due to that, I was luckily able to continue riding, even during the shutdown, and spend lots of time outdoors. 

However, there were a few unfortunate drawbacks to this arrangement. I had to share my pony with my sister. Now, some of you might not think that’s a big deal, but to me it it. My pony is EXTREMELY important to me. I’d say she’s of equal importance to me as my parents are. She’s been my best friend for seven years, and I don’t know what I’d do without her. She has brought me joy when I was feeling down, taken care of me when I was hurt, and listened to me without judging. I am so, so thankful for her, and she means the world to me. So, as you can probably imagine, I was very hesitant to let my monstrous sister anywhere near her. I’m not gonna lie; there were a lot of fights caused by my unwillingness to share, in fear my sister would either harm or steal away the one person who had always been there for me. 

This year, I am in grade 10. It hasn’t been the greatest year so far. My sister has been especially abusive to me lately and she’s been reaching out to my friends, despite my attempts to stop her. So far, she’s managed to steal four of my friends away from me, which really sucks.

Right now, I’m really upset. I just had another big fight with my family. Lately, I have been doing really well in school, and as a reward, my mother decided to arrange a second weekly riding lesson for me. I was really happy about that because I have been riding for about seven years, and in all that time I’ve only gotten one lesson a week. I had tried, (without success, might I add) to convince my parents to let me have a second lesson, but they had always denied my requests. Until now. However, today I found out that they’re allowing my sister to also get a second lesson as well. And that made me really angry. For seven fucking years, I had been asking for a second lesson, and each time my parents had said no, until today. But my sister? She’s only been riding for a year and a few months and she’s given one on a silver platter without having to even lift a finger, whereas I had to work my ass off for months to improve my grades so my parents would think I was deserving of a reward. It’s not fair, everything that I have work hard for and/or wait a long time for, my sister is given immediately without having to do anything. It’s not just this, it’s literally everything! For my school ski trips, my dad would always bring my sister along, but for my sister’s ski trips, he’d leave me behind at home. And the same applies for pets! I had to write an entire essay and save up $300 to convince my parents to allow me to have a pet snake. A few months after I got my snake, my sister decided she wanted one and my parents bought her one the next day. IT’S NOT FUCKING FAIR!!! 

How do my parents not realize that they aren’t treating us equally? Do they seriously believe everything is fine? They are fools, blinded by their own stupidity, disgraces to humanity.

Today my mother accused me of being a sociopath.

And y’know what?

Maybe I am.

But it’s because of  h e r  that I became so broken that I had to turn into a monster to save myself. 

Yours truly,

Anonymous

[arlingtonhappymeditationclu-blog]

Meditation - The Gateway to the Soul

Meditation is the gateway to the soul. It provides the illuminated path of shifting from the ego self of the soul into spiritual oneness. It is the key to unlocking the ego self of the soul, shifting the energy of the ego self of the soul being one with our soul thereby bring spiritual oneness within us, within our soul. It is within meditation that we shift vibrationally to connect with Spirit. Meditation assists us with our spiritual journey to realize our life's purpose within this life experience. Benefits of meditation, though free from being sought in meditation, are indeed derived from meditation praxis. Some of them include being focused, centered, and grounded - especially amidst the appearance of the illusion called distractions, soul balance and harmony, a deep genuine feeling of calm and relaxation, a continuous state of absoulute love and well-being, a remembering of our connection with all, of all, for all, and in all that is, and an awareness of the one infinite moment.

Meditation is the key to continuously sustaining an inner peace and calm within. Moment to moment meditation enables us to remain connected to the infinite love, infinite knowledge, infinite wisdom, infinite understanding, infinite connection with all, infinite light, even when the perceived craziness of life and of circumstances in life that may occur.

Meditation is simple the act of going within, shifting the energy, and being within. Free from placing any thoughtenergy on the illusion of linear time or space. Free from the perceptions of what we call here on this earth dimension as rules, regulations, or judgments. It is simply being with what is in the present moment and recycling or shifting the energy, our thoughtenergy to reflect that.

Meditation is the tool we utilize to be centered and focused in our life. To enable us to feel the natural joy, peace, absoulute love, and balance flow. Thus, when the perceived storms or hurricanes of life come our way, we will be an observer to the chaos, rather than a participant in it. We are the center of calm and serenity within the eye of the storm. What a marvelous shift from the perception of somehow being separate from life, from everything, and every soul within it! We are free from the perceived need to wear the victim or martyred robes that we were once in axiom with when in a meditative state. When are grounded and centered in the physical body and within the soul in each moment within the one infinite moment, we simply watch the illusionary storm of the ego self of the soul's e-motions (or energy-in-motion to assist us with the re-membering or memory of the soul rememberings through life experience) such as pain or anger, pass through us as it is free from staying in or with us when in a meditative resonance.

We may discover that those souls who are seemingly illusionally stuck in the paradigm we once were, will ask us for a helping hand. This will be our opportunity to help all souls to shift the axioms of they believe they are into spiritual oneness as well. At that moment, we are the presenter or the present er or gifter of this gift, as well as, the receiver of one of the greatest gifts on this earth dimension and of the celestial cosmos... the gift of absoulute love. As this gift of absoulute love and compassion pours from within us, we will be spreading the healing seeds of the soul onto and into this earth dimensions and out into the universal cosmos to illuminate all souls. The beautiful buds and fruits of this gift will then blossom all around us and the shifting of energy will occur through the universal cosmos. We will notice the energy shift in us and our consciousness and in this earth dimension around us as we will to take on an enlightened state of wonderous, awe-inspiring life.

Earth Dimension Duality Ways of Meditation

Spirit shares that in earth dimensional meditation, we are asked to be in axiom with a duality form of meditation. This form of meditation says that there is some sort of steps we are to do, a certain state we are to reach, and a certain way we are to be. Earth dimensional meditation techniques include repetition of an affirmation such as chanting a mantra, or perhaps following our breath, gazing into a candle flame, listening to another souls guided words to us etc. These are done for the sole purpose of training the physical body brain to remain in the present moment and to allow our spirit, our soul to be then guided into being free from the physical body brain being at the forefront. These techniques use a fixed experience outside the physical body to center and attempt to still, quiet, turn off, or somehow push aside the physical body brain and its programs that it runs.

Spirit explains that it is like that of a computer. That the physical body is like a computer and that this computer machine continues to run until just like that computer, we choose to run another program within it. The computer or the physical body machine is free from knowing anything other until we show it another way of perceiving life. What the infinitely spiritual light being reveals with the traditional form of meditation is we are attempting still the physical body brain, something of which is free from being stilled. They bring forth the wisdom that the physical body and the brain which is included within the physical body, is a machine, and that it is programmed to continue to run until we shut it down by sleep. Even during sleep, the physical body maintains an existence so as to keep the heart beating, the breath within it to sustain itself. Thus, we are free from ever stilling the physical body brain.

What in essence occurs within what we call here on this earth dimension as the traditional mediation form, is that we create a vicious cycle of attempting to still something that is free from being meant to still. Through continuous praxis within this way of being, what we call here on this earth dimension as results can and may be felt. However, Spirit says that usually when we meditate in this fashion, we tend to be what is known as distracted either by the machine of physical brain processing thoughtenergies such as "Oh I forgot to do the dishes from dinner" and "I have that report due tomorrow for the boss" and "Oh what will I wear to work tomorrow? Let's see maybe that blouse or this shirt, or maybe... " When these distractions occur, we come into the illusion of the ego self of the soul as "Oh this meditation stuff is for the birds" and we refrain from continuing to develop any form of praxis within meditation at all. Meditation then is seen as a dreaded 'have to if I want to be enlightened' way of life, of which we avoid.

Multi-Dimensional Meditation is All

The infinitely spiritual light being knows that there have been many what we call here on this earth dimension as spiritual masters and mentors whom have brought forth this message of this form of meditation. We thank them for within them bringing this wisdom to us, as it has enabled us to now remember and treasure the spiritual wisdom of multi-dimensional meditation as well.

There were moments for many earth dimension years that I would be within the ego self of the soul with my former husband as he would spend (in this earth dimension concept known as time) hours just what I call 'vegging' in front of the television, even falling asleep with it on. Or he would spend what I called then as "too much time" on the computer playing computer games and such. I used to have huge ego fits about this.

It was when I received the channeled information through the infinitely spiritual light being that I came to shift the axiom that I had held for so long within the ego self of the soul believing that I was somehow separate from him. His computer playing and his television watching immediately placed me back into that little six year old girl who chose a choice to make a 'decision' to cut off her daddy because she believed her did not love her and that she was unworthy of absoulute love which I write of within The soul remembering through life experience in absoulute love. This illusion created yet another illusion that Aaron was doing this to somehow "be separate from me" to mean that I was separate from him, separate from life, and unworthy of absoulute love.

The soul remembering that came forth once I remembered this was astounding to me. Spirit shared with me the wisdom that my former husband was merely meditating. That television watching and computer games were his form of meditation! Wow! It was as if someone had turned on the light inside my soul!! This revelation brought me back to my dad in realizing that what occurred when I was six was just an event that occurred simply for me to has this soul remembering that had just occurred with him, that it was just that I chose to be forget and continue on with my ego fit inside about my dad and about my former husband in reaction to who they were choosing to be.

In this moment of revelation, I chose to shift the axiom of the resonance that I chose to be within choosing to be in that moment and chose to be enlightened, which brought about a way for me to be within the soul remembering through life experience in compassion and in forgiveness of allowing my dad and Aaron to be just as they are free from me having to change or fix them. That they are whole and complete just as they are and how much absoulute love and bliss I feel for them that they are being the light of who they are within this form of meditation. I was then able to for give, give thanks for each of them bringing forth the wisdom of this soul remembering to me and to Spirit for their wisdom as well.

When we choose to view meditation though multi-dimensional spiritual oneness, anything and everything we are and choose to be, can be a meditation. Walking to the bus stop, making dinner, washing your clothes, eating. Reading this book right in this moment is a meditation. These everyday earth dimensional experiences are meditative when we bring a oneness of infinite possibilities and a fullness of our being into our experience.

How much consciousness and presence can we have while we are washing the dishes? What a present, what a gift, within this presence of washing the dishes! Spirit shares with us that in multi-dimensional meditation there are thoughtenergies that pass through the physical body brain, yet we are free from any electrical static clinging to them. We can allow the physical body brain to continue its machinery program, free from having to change or fix it, rather just simply allowing it to be while we continue on with our meditation. It is by simply including and merging the physical body brain within the meditative process that gifts birth to infinite possibilities within mediation. It creates meditation as a FUN (Feeling Universal kNowledge), blissful, joyous, absoulutely loving process. Even cleaning, making dinner, washing and folding a load of laundry can be seen as FUN, blissful, and joyous, as we are 'falling in love with' these very things for the meditative process and spiritual inspiration, being 'In Spirit', that it gifts us with!

Feeling the warm water run across our hands, the sound of scrubbing the pan, the smell of the soap as we clean - the beauty, the awe, and the wonder of this earth dimension looking out the window while we clean - this too is meditation. Meditation is an effortless awakening of the soul through universe multi-dimensional processes here on this earth dimension. Anytime we are concentrating on something even while the thoughtenergy of the machine that is constantly running, we are meditating. We can meditate while walking or moving, lying down, standing and sitting; while silent or speaking. We are free from the "have to's" of sitting in a certain meditative pose as we can be whatever is most comfortable for us in each moment. We are free from having to "quiet" the physical body brain, or reach a certain state. We can simply allow the physical body, the brain within the physical body, and the Soul or Spirit, to co-create together harmoniously as one. Free from being separate entities to be controlled or pushed aside. Free from having to "do" anything, as meditation is always, in all ways, with us and within us. Free to simply be as one.

It is when we are in the continuous conscious awareness of 'what is' in the moment which gifts us with a fragrant feeling of bliss! All our attempts to strive, struggle, reach, and achieve as certain state of enlightenment now shift into a space of spiritual oneness within the meditative experience, within our soul, and within LIFE (Living Infinitely From Experience) and we are being a playful witness of our divine being. It is the simple experience of our very essence, our inner core that is so rich and full of life! This is what meditation is!

In earth dimensional meditation, on the physical body resonance, it is believed that one reaches a delta brain wave state. There are what is believed to be four states of brain wave activity. It is well known that the brain is an electrochemical organ. It is through this electrical connection in the physical body that gifts us with our connection of the soul. Electrical activity emanating from the brain is displayed in the form of brainwaves. When we reside within a multi-dimensional meditative state, we are then able to see and resonate deep within our soul that what are known here in this earth dimension as these four states are really as one, and occur instantaneously, simultaneously within the physical body brain during multi-dimensional meditation. They are free from being four separate and distinct states that one is to 'go through'. Rather they are the physical body and the physical body brains responses to multi-dimensional meditation.

Multi-dimensional meditation brings an awareness of how our soul essence simply just IS. Over this earth dimensional's concept of time, we are then being observers - able to just as in being the Observer to view ourselves in synchronicity of experiencing the Absoulute Love within and to observe our humanness, this machine from a perspective of the watcher or observing what event is occurring and our e-motions of this event, free from being wrapped up in the events and e-motions that are occurring. We gain the freedom to choose whether to act on our thoughtenergies and e-motions. We treasure the inner wisdom of being in the moment and of the e-motional dramas. All the wisdom, all the energy, and all of the ways of meditation is within us. Thus, we come to resonate with the wisdom from Spirit that our soul already knows that we simple have forgotten - that we are continually in the praxis of meditation in every moment. It is within multi-dimensional meditation then that we open the pathway of the soul to effortlessly glide into what are considered as earth dimensional forms of traditional meditation, as we are free from feeling that we somehow 'supposed to' meditation in a certain way, or reach, or achieve anything, as we already are being meditation in everything and anything. It is already there, and we are free from having to "do" anything, we can just be.