Misery under cut
I had like, a four month break from this overwhelming depression. And here we are again.
The yearning is back. I'm so sad. Like I'm grieving. Just sad all the time. I'm trying to accept that I have no control over the future. That I have survived 30+ years alone, and I can do it again. Though it's only been the last seven years, moreso the last two, that I've actually wanted someone in my life.
And my friends are in new or established relationships, or getting engaged or married or having babies. Many are in wonderful places in their lives, it's lovely to see as they've struggled and deserve so much happiness. I can't talk to them about this, and I don't want damn pity.
I'm trying to understand that I'll never have those things. I'll never have romantic love. I'll never feel precious or considered to someone. No one will ever hold my had when I'm sad or afraid. No one will hold me close at night or call me soft, sweet petnames. No one will dance with me in the living room just because, or think of my comfort above their own.
And nor will I have the opportunity to offer those things to someone I love. I am so full of love to give, and have no one to give it to.
And all of this is so sad.
I know it's unrealistic. I'm sub-clin autistic, I just miss things in people, I don't know when men are flirting with me, I don't notice when they're looking. I'm tired and overstimulated and engage in largely solitary hobbies. And yes, I have dated, and speed-dated, and app-dated, and blind-dated, and I haven't enjoyed any of those experiences. Some were awful, some were fine. When my friends describe their first dates with their partners, they talk about butterflies and banter and excitement. I've never had that. I want it. It sucks being ace/demi. I want to have a romantic relationship, but I could be depriving another person of something they need, and in the early days, they bolt.
That's why I have to learn to accept it. It's not going to happen.
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Nigerian Singers, Olamide, Wizkid, and Adekunle Gold have won individual awards at the ongoing 2022 Headies in Atlanta, United States of America.
See the full list of winners below.
Buju BNXN, won the 2022 Headies Next Rated award.
Best Rap Album – Olamide (Carpe Diem)
Best Collaboration – Wizkid feat. Tems (Essence)
Best R ‘n’ B Single – Wizkid feat. Tems (Essence)
Album of the Year – Wizkid (Made in Lagos (Deluxe Edition)
Best Afrobeat Album – Wizkid (Made in Lagos)
Songwriter of the Year – Adekunle Gold (Sinner).
Best Music Video – TG Omori (Champion – Fireboy DML feat. D Smoke)
Artiste of the Year – Burna Boy (Nigeria)
Best Male Artiste – Burna Boy
Digital Artiste of the Year – Davido
Humanitarian Award of the Year – Davido
Best Recording of the Year – Patoranking (Celebrate Me)
Producer of the Year – SARZ (Monalisa – Lojay and SARZ)
Best Alternative Album – Ibeji (Intermission)
Headies’ Viewer’s Choice – Arya Starr (Bloody Samaritan)
Best Afrobeat Single – Fireboy DML (Peru)
Related News
Headies 2022: Olamide, Wizkid, Adekunle Gold win big
Artistes whose careers flourished with Olamide’s support
Singers, BNXN, Ruger trade words on Twitter
Best Reggae and Dancehall Album – Patoranking (Three)
Best Vocal Performance (female) – Waje (Last Time)
Best Vocal Performance (Male) – Oxlade (Ojuju)
Lyricist on The Roll – A-Q (The Last Cypher)
Best Streethop Artiste – Goya Menor & Nektunez (Amenor Amapiano remix)
Best Rap Single – Ladipoe feat BNXN (Feeling)
Best Alternative Single – Flavour (Doings)
Rookie of the Year – Fave
Best Inspirational Single – Kcee & Okwesili Eze group (Cultural Praise)
Special Recognition -Dbanj (Talent)
Hall of fame – Angelique Kidjo
International Artiste Special Recognition – Akon & Wycle Jean
Best Central African Artiste of the Year – Innoss’B
Best East African Artiste of the Year – Diamond Platinumz
Best North Africas Artiste of the Year – Latifa (Tunisia)
Best South African Artiste of the Year – Focalistic (South Africa)
Best West African Artiste of the Year – Gyakie
Special Recognition – Efe Omorogbe, Sunday Are, and Bose Ogbulu
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I also really liked this short film its very simplistic all black and white. The movements and the camera angles showed a story of the model deep in thoughts and allowed the audience think more in depth what this short film is about.
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Brainfood from the Heartland
I’ll be on the Louie B. Free show from The Vindicator Newsroom (WYCL-AM Cleveland OH)!
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A false report that Haitian-American hip hop star Wyclef Jean, who backs Martelly, had been shot in the hand on the eve of the vote generated a U.S. media frenzy.
But Vanel Lacroix, police chief in Petionville where Jean is staying, said police had confirmed that he had suffered only a minor cut to his hand from glass in an apparent accident.
"We met with the doctor who saw him and he confirmed Wyclef was cut by glass," Lacroix told Reuters.
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