#xiphiawrites

[xiphiawrites]

LMAO imagine moving into a house you didn't know was haunted by two extremely unfriendly ghosts.

Neither sprit wants you there, and they agreed that they scare you away or kill you trying, being fine with either outcome.

Little do they know that you yourself are some supernatural being.

The first time they manage to get a knife in your stomach you just, kind of, pull it out, and put it in the kitchen sink, as if it was hardly an inconvenience.

This thought amuses me

[xiphiathepeacefullsword]

Alright that was an aggressive yes, so here are a few doodles of some of the minecraft bois from dis blog

[ask-lxv]

"you never told me, why they kicked you out in the first place."

The human looks over at the skeleton, dressed in his teal and red, his eyes not meeting hers as he fiddles with his hands and swings his feet over the edge of a cliff.

Her gaze drifts back to her lap, back to the overlook of the empty city that she would soon fill to the brim. A solemn smile on her face as she twirls her necklace around.

"hm..are you asking?"

She sees him nod from her peripheral, and she lets out a deep breath, dropping her necklace and tipping her face to the greyed sky.

"I got too attached."

She shakes her head, shoving a hand into her hair and staring down at her knees.

"No, no that's not it."

She takes another breath, a smile on her face but her expression blank as she stares off into some distant place.

"I got too involved with a place in which I didn't belong. I wanted too much to be tied to it forever."

She lets out a dry, hollow laugh, unwilling to cry, unwilling to be angry, not in front of him. Of anyone.

"I crossed some unspoken lines. And for that they got rid of me."

[xiphiawrites]

Stretch, on the verge of tears: brother pl e a s e

Blue: You Are A Grown Man I Am Not Scheduling Your Doctors Appointment For You.

[xiphiawrites]

A/N: I might write another part to this one, iunno, it got way longer than it was supposed to be.

ok but Imagine trekking through a snowy forest. it's the first time you've ever been out there, just exploring the land, amazed at how many biomes are shoved into this strange place.

You've yet to encounter other humans like yourself, but judging by some of the abandoned structures you've come across someone lives on this land,

Or at least they did.

So you explored, Half looking for other humans, half trying to get a lay of the massive amounts of unknown land around you.

Of course it's freezing, hardly anything is growing besides the towering spruce trees, and the only living things you've seen on your trip have been fluffy White rabbits and hopefully docile wolves.

Your best bet is to keep moving, bundled up in yer giant coat until you decide to turn back, but a splotch of orange against the white snow catches your attention.

So you make a detour, carefully making your way down the snowy hill until you reach what you can now see is a pumpkin sticking out of the snow.

That has you scratching your head, you didn’t know pumpkins could grow in weather like this, learn something new everyday huh.

its turned over in the ice, and you can see that it has two eyeholes and a mouth cut out of one side of it, like a jack-o-lantern, something so very familiar to life before you showed up here. 

Further proof that there were other humans somewhere here, and a small semblance of comfort, a symbol of hope that there was civilization out here afterall.

you couldn’t not take it.

You rub your hands as you bend down to grab the pumpkin, expecting it to be an easy enough lift. Its a surprise when the pumpkin barely budges from its spot on the ground.

You tug at it, huffing in confusion when it doesn't come out of the snow. Perhaps it's frozen to the ground, or maybe there’s ice and snow inside of weighing it down.

so you get down on all fours, putting your hands into the holes of the jack-o-lantern and shoveling the snow out of the pumpkin, instantly stopping when the pumpkin moves on its own accord.

You curse under your breath, standing up straight and backing up from what you thought was an innocent reminder of your life back home.

last time you checked, pumpkins are mostly stationary, so either you’re hallucinating, or this is not a pumpkin. 

It shifts again, slowly but surely lifting itself out of the snow with all the swiftness of a cold wet sock.

It stands on its feet, and you have to crane your neck to look at the thing, it's pitch black eyes not focusing on you as it sways back and forth on its limbs of ice and snow.

One of it's dark eyes brighten slightly, a dim red light slowly coming more and more into view, and at first it's staring somewhere into space, before it lands on you.

"ah. Shit"

You immediately turn and bolt back up the hill, your speed heavily hindered by the ice and snow under your hands and feet.

The thing stares at you blankly as it watches your form try to scramble up the hill, blinking slowly before approaching you with a lazed pace.

The ground crunches beneath it's weight, and it has no issues reaching you, you can see the shadow of it's hand cast over you before it snatches you up by the hood of your coat.

It turns you to face him, despite the flailing of your limbs as you try to get yourself loose from his impossible grip.

He doesn't seem bothered by it, just staring at you with that one lazy light for an uncomfortable amount of time. So long in fact that you believed him to fall asleep with his eye open.

But he proves you wrong when he grumbles something, trekking up the hill with you still clutched in his hand, dragging you on the ground as he turns and takes you farther in the opposite direction of your house.

You plead with him to release you, unsure of wherever it was he was taking you and what awaited you there. Better safe than sorry though.

He hardly looks at you, just grumbles at you in that strange warped language all the other skeletons spoke, wispy and clippy words that seemed to jump around and travel with the wind.

You give up after about ten minutes of struggling, his grip never budging, his demeanor never changing.

You've resigned to your fate, though there's some part of you that knows you'd be fine, even if you were thrown into some vat of lava or some pit, for whatever reason you'd be fine.

His steps slow, and you can hear the faint sound of laughter, of conversation over the sound of his footsteps in your ears.

You perk up, trying to twist to look behind you enough to see where it's coming from, to see the people you've been looking for since you got here.

Thankfully for you he took you straight to them, dropping you on your ass before making a low sound, like that of a foghorn, but not quite as deafening.

You stand, patting yourself down as you look around yourself with wide eyes.

The snowy plain is covered with little ice covered homes, strangers wandering around the small village, talking amongst themselves. A fire rages in the center of town, snow evading that particular spot, and you can see people gathered there. There are animals meandering around, tamed and trained, and for the first time since you've been here you feel the familiarity of civilization.

You hear the pitter patter of little feet and the high pitched sound of child like laughter, and you look over to see children running towards you, some of them pulling a massive form behind them who's barely managing to keep up with them.

There are kids all up and down it, on its shoulders, hanging from it's arms, on its legs, and yet it stills seems to be smiling as if they are no hindrance.

They stop in front of you, the children in the lead running around you and pulling at your clothes, speaking a language you unfortunately dont understand.

They circle the pumpkin head behind you as well, and you can hear him chuckle lowly, but your brain barely registers it due to your preoccupation with the giant skeleton made out of metal towering above you.

it looks down at you with welcoming eyes, a wide smile, vines are growing up and down its body, but not in a way that makes it feel ancient. It almost looks like a style choice. 

It says something to you, something you cant decipher, and judging by the bewildered look on your face you can guess that he assumes youre not from around here. 

He looks at the creature behind you and asks him something, and all the pumpkin does is grunt. The iron giant utters something again, and you turn to see the snowman walking away from you, back into the forest from which it came.

That leaves you alone with a bunch of kids and some giant metal monster, who lifts you like a toddler, and carts you off to the center of town.

[xiphiawrites]

Russ unironically sends you this picture as a method of asking you out.

You take it as a joke.

He is not joking.

[xiphiawrites]

The skeletons with a feisty reader who doesn't take kindly to being a pet, refuses to wear the ridiculous little outfits they try to put you in, the collars, the weird hairdos.

Some of the skeletons trying to be sweet enough to you to get you to obey, to like them enough to behave.

Others not being nearly as kind, understanding or patient

[xiphiawrites]

Imagine getting dropped in the middle of nowhere with no memory of how you got there, a half drawn map of the land, and a stick. 

Imagine it's basically minecraft. 

But most of the violent mobs have skeletal subspecies, few of the passive ones also getting bony cousins, The subspecies more intelligent than their predecessors 

You see what I'm getting at here.

Imagine waking up in the middle of the woods covered in dirt, nothing but a branch in your hand and the undying desire to punch a tree. Imagine building some semblance of a shelter over the course of a few weeks, all the while wondering how you got here in the first place, where here is. 

And after those first weeks you get well acquainted with some of the….wildlife…. That lives in the strange place, wildlife that doesn't seem to want you to, uhm, breathe.

A stocky red creep with an explosive temper, who seems to enjoy causing you problems,  waiting for you to finish a structure before blowing it up and running off. You found a way to ward it off though, the thing hates cats

An archer with the most op aim you've ever seen, well aware of its skills, thinks it's hilarious to watch you try and dodge its arrows. You think it's been in a good few tussles, considering the scars going through one of its eye sockets.

A particular spider jockey that seems to be a singular organism rather than two separate beings, an absolute motherfucker with purple eyes who won't stay off of your ceiling. And you always know when it's up there because it always oozing smoke, and it always gets in your windows and fogs up the house. 

There's a lanky fella who’s only ever attacked you once, the time you made the mistake of looking em in the eye, since then you keep your head down whenever it shows up, and it hasn't bothered you since. Sometimes it hangs around your house, just being nosy, sometimes it takes stuff, but as long as you keep your eyes down it leaves you alone.

The other two intelligent ones haven't attacked you at all surprisingly, in fact they were very friendly-

The bioluminescent orange squid that wades in the water of a lake you frequent, lazing on the surface of the water and waving at you lazily as you grab whatever you need from the waterbodies bank.

And a dolphin, who you’d met when something unexpectedly started pushing a makeshift boat you made, an awfully helpful thing, with a wide gap toothed smile that never failed to brighten your day.  

Imagine that, living in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of strange creatures as you spend every day simply not dying trying to figure out where you are and how to get back home. Unaware of the other skeletal monsters that exist in literal other worlds that you may or may not wander into.

Wouldn't that be crazy

[xiphiawrites]

So, for the Minecraft AU, Guardians being Gaster Blasters? And what would happen with both boi if mc sang instead of a jukebox?

I like that idea of Guardians being giant, bored looking blasters perhaps the elder guardian could be one of the many Gaster's 👀

I'm not sure who you're referring to when you say both boi, but for some reason I think you're talking about red, and in that case well

He'll probably pester you about it from then on, not with words, but he'll destroy the other jukeboxes you give em and blow up your house until you sing for em again

[xiphiawrites]

Creeper red outside your window threatening to blow up your house again if you don't sing him a song.

You don't get a break until he falls asleep.

He considers not trying to murder you every second of every day.

[xiphiawrites]

An alien invasion but it's, you guessed it, skeletons. But skeletons of the giant variety, doing their best to blend in with the humans.

Skeletons who are scouting for the rest of their race back home, getting a lay of the land before calling the fleets, either to wipe out humanity, or reduce them to exotic pets.

[xiphiawrites]

Imagine being in a meeting, or a lecture hall, whete you're supposed to be paying attention to the person at the front, and one of the skeletons is purposely making you laugh because they love how you laugh, love how it sounds

You laugh so loud, so hard and they love that they have th capability to make you lose your serious, work facade and laugh, just for them

[xiphiawrites]

Having to keep the windows closed because spiderjockey!cash takes every opportunity to sneak into your house and scare you because he thinks it is fucking hilarious

Waking up to find that your entire house has been covered from ground to ceiling in webbing so you have to take several hours cutting all away

Not being able to sleep at night because he won't get off of your roof

Him trying to feed you questionable things with unknown origin

Him lurking in the trees watching you whenever you take a trip through the woods

Just spiderjockey!cash things

[xiphiawrites]

The skeletons but they're all giant snails

[xiphiawrites]

Tangled up in cash's webs, high off your ass because his magic is fogging up the house again. That's it, that's the post.

[xiphiawrites]

In my opinion, the most troublesome mob out there is probably Edge, the menace with the bow.

Sure cash won't stay off of your house, and sure red likes to sneak up behind you and blow you sky high, but there's just something about edge that's so frustrating.

Perhaps it's the way he actively seeks you out at night, showing up at the most unexpected times to inconvenience you.

Perhaps its because you don't ever see his red eyes glowing in the dark until it's too late and you've already got an arrow in your ass.

Perhaps it's the way he seems to find humor in the way you try to dodge around his expertly aimed projectiles, the way he still manages to peg his arrows on you even as you try to zig zag around them.

Maybe it's because he's the most normal looking skeleton of them all, sure he has red eyes and sharp teeth, but he's got the most normal structure out of all the other skeletons you've met.

So when he points and laughs at you, that raspy high pitched cackle, it's almost like any other human doing it.

You're not sure, But he's always picking on you for some reason, and it's annoying.