#yay i'm done!

[spaceorphan18]

Five Times Kurt Talks About Sex and One Time He Doesn't (Part Six -- FINAL)

A/N: So, this was inspired the other day by a Nonny who was asking about how Kurt interacts with others on the topic of sex and this little idea popped in my head.

It’s a little mini-series, and I’ll post one part a day, then I’ll get it up on Ao3 after it’s complete.

It’s set in a post-canon-ish world when they’re all living in New York. The whole thing takes place over the course of a day.

YES I'M POSTING TWICE IN ONE DAY - GO BACK AND CHECK OUT PART FIVE IF YOU MISSED IT!!

****

Non-Conversation One: Blaine

Kurt sits on the edge of the bed swaying back and forth, attempting to keep his balance, as he holds a glass of water.  He’s supposed to be drinking the glass of water, but his stomach feels a little full, and not like it wants anything additional in it.  Still, he tries to sip anyway as he watches his husband -- his beautiful, sexy husband - come into the bedroom.  

“Santana went out like a light,” Blaine says.  He undoes his watch and puts it on the dresser.  “She’s on the couch and snoring.  I think she’ll be fine for the night.  Just how much did you guys drink?” 

Kurt hums happily.  “Ten shots.” 

“Jesus, Kurt, how are you still functioning?” 

“She had ten, I had nine, I won.” He snorts into his water, attempting another sip.  

“You both are ridiculous,” Blaine says, coming up to him. “Drink the water - I don’t want you vomiting on me in the middle of the night.”  

Kurt pulls at Blaine’s hand, catching him off guard, and draws him in for a kiss.  It’s sloppy and Kurt, admittedly, is probably using too much tongue, but he really doesn’t care.  He wants his husband.  

“You taste like raspberries…” Kurt coos as Blaine pulls away.  

“You taste like vodka,” Blaine laughs.  

“I want vanilla ice cream,” Kurt’s eyes are wide with desire.  

Blaine gives him an odd look, though, not getting it.  “How about we try the water first, and save the ice cream for when you’re sober.” 

“Noooo,” Kurt cries.  He reaches out to grope at Blaine’s dick through his pants.  “Ice cream,” he says quietly.  His own dick twitches with interest but with that much alcohol in his system, he doubts he’s going to get anywhere.  Stupid Santana.  Stupid shots.  He could have ended his night by fucking his husband.  And now he’ll have to settle for falling asleep.  

His bed does seem nice.  

Blaine laughs it off, and kisses his forehead.  “Maybe if you drink the water and make it through the night, you can have ice cream in the morning.” 

Kurt lets out a quiet, delighted ‘yay’ as he takes another sip.  

“We can take a trip up to the grocery store tomorrow,” Blaine says.  Kurt eyes him suspiciously - but there’s a twinkle in Blaine’s eyes that tells him Blaine’s being obtuse on purpose.  “You guys finished all my Cheetos.” 

“No Cheetos!” Kurt vehemently protests.  “No, no, no!”

Blaine’s eyes grow wide.  “Well we’re definitely going to come back around to that tomorrow.”  

“I’m not ever going to have Cheetos again!” His brain is indignant about it - but at the moment, he can’t figure out why.  

Blaine just smiles sweetly as he takes a step back to change.  He’s out of his shirt first, revealing a layer of glistening sweat on his skin.  Blaine always works so hard during his performances -- leaving his muscles firm and toned.  He then undoes his belt buckle and the pants go.  Followed by the underpants.  He’s not making a show of it, even if he is aware of Kurt’s eyes on him.  Not helping it, Kurt bites his bottom lip as he watches… Even flaccid, Blaine’s dick is the best dick of all the dicks.  He laughs at the thought, wishing his brain wasn’t so fuzzy so that he could play with that dick.

In the mirror, Kurt can see Blaine’s ass - so round and scrumptious.  See, Santana! He calls out in his head.  The mirror was a good call!  He could bite that ass if he wanted to.  Blaine would let him.  He has bitten it before.  

“No!” Blaine playfully scolds.  

“But…” 

“Kurt, no.  You need to sleep first.”  

Kurt scrunches his nose, letting out a protesting little grunt, as he attempts more water.  

Blaine puts on a clean pair of boxers, then heads back towards the bed.  “Okay, let’s get you ready for bed.  Sleep first.  Then I’ll wake you up with whatever you want.” 

Kurt grows excited.  “Even vanilla and caramel?” 

Blaine gives him a strange look, not quite following.  “Even vanilla and caramel,” he gives anyway.  

“Okay!”   

Blaine takes the glass and puts it on the nightstand.  Then gets him to stand, helping him out of his own pants, followed by the sweater (which takes longer than normal because it has a bunch of buckles on it).  Blaine’s hands are warm and soft and he doesn’t seem to mind when Kurt falls against him as they get him out of his clothes.  

The duvet is pulled back, and Blaine helps Kurt onto the bed.  “You are really, really pretty,” Kurt says, not able to help gazing into those honeyed eyes.  

“You are really; really drunk,” Blaine says amused in response.  

Kurt pulls him down into another kiss - this time a little smoother.  Blaine indulges, allowing for a little, light making out.  Kurt closes his eyes and relaxes into the bed, feeling warm and buzzed and loved and cared for.  He feels so good that he doesn’t quite mind when Blaine pulls away.  

“I’m going to finish up in the bathroom - are you going to be alright?” 

“MMmm-hmmm,” Kurt murmurs.  

Blaine pulls the covers over him, then kisses his nose and his cheek and his forehead.  “I’ll be back in a little bit, then we can snuggle, okay?”  

Kurt’s eyes remain firmly shut, but he grins as he thinks about Blaine getting into the bed next to him, moving in close so his arms will be firmly around him, and he’ll feel Blaine’s dick snug against his ass.  That’s just as good as sex anyway… 

“Love you,” Kurt says softly.  

Blaine gently kisses his lips.  “Love you, too.” 

Sleep is taking him quickly, but there’s one last lingering thing…

“Hey, Blaine?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I have a message for you?” 

“What’s that?” 

“Tomorrow - after ice cream and Cheetos you need to call Tina and let her know how to properly suck a penis.”

Kurt drifts off to sleep before Blaine is able to respond. 

[lilybug-02]

Bribed with Chocolate. The way it should be.

Part 22 || First || Previous || Next

--Full Series--

More to come as this is a two-parter. But you know how I am with schedules.

Bonus:

I think this was an equally possible reaction from Chara.

[demaparbat-hp]

Almost

[vasira96]

so i finally did a thing

[loccorocco]

Happy 1 year hrt + full recovery from top surgery

[sysig]

You're still standing off to the side. Somehow, center stage has shifted from under your feet without you realizing, and you're standing in the wings, performing to no one.

Starring Role (Patreon)

[thursdaymorningchild]

Uh Old Maniel I hate to break it to you...

[probably-not-a-rutabaga]

i offer one of my favorite frames from aberration short so far,, just to show that i am indeed making progress :]

[fluentisonus]

St Cuthbert and the Angel

"For while a neophyte, he [Cuthbert] was at once elected by the community to minister to guests on their arrival. Among these, on the morning of a certain day when the weather was wintry and snowy, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in the form of a well-built man in the flower of his age, just as angels appeared to the patriarch Abraham in the valley of Mamre in the form of men. Then having received him kindly in accordance with his wont, still thinking him to be a man and not an angel, he washed his hands and feet and wiped them with towels, and ... in his humility rubbed his guest's feet with his own hands to warm them on account of the cold"

-- Anonymous Life of St Cuthbert, c. 698-705 AD, trans. Colgrave

"Cuthbert, the servant of the Lord, was appointed guestmaster and is said to have entertained in his guesthouse an angel of the Lord who was sent to test his devotion. Going out in the early morning from the inner buildings of the monastery to the guests' chamber, he found a certain youth sitting within, and, thinking that he was of the race of men, he speedily welcomed him with his accustomed kindness. He gave him water to wash his hands; he washed his feet and wiped them with a towel and placed them in his bosom so as to chafe them humbly with his hands"

-- Bede, Life of St Cuthbert, c. 721 AD, trans. Colgrave

[Based loosely off of this illustration in the Bede version]

[crystallizabethine]

I saw this post and had to make my own version 'cause it made me laugh.

(She's saying this into a mirror btw)

[wave-nine]

when you turn around expecting a bracken but it's just your eyesore of a teammate

[yepthatsacowalright]

Been wanting to try to digitally paint sunset clouds for a while now, remembered this shot in FOTR exists, and sort of blacked out the past few days working on it.

[0046incognito]

can hibiki make the ^_^ face

ABSOLUTELY he can. his cuteness

[weaponizedmoth]

Hello I hope it's not too much to ask but is it okay if I request some Al and Shore Leave hanging out? Thank you

I hope that by "hanging out" you meant "lovingly embracing." If not, you're welcome.

(thanks for the request, it was lovely!)

[spaciebabie]

aight so it's that time of year again. funny post announcing me temporarily being offline (including discord) for ~a week maybe more so I can focus on my finals. this is mostly just an announcement for my friends so that you don't think I'm ignoring you or that something has happened 2 me :] (that happened last time and I felt bad). I thought it would be easier 2 do it on my blog than. message multiple ppl and tell them I'm leaving dkdndndndn

I will not be on tumblr or discord from april 27th-may7th most likely. so dont be alarmed if im not around!

I'll rb this post around the time I will be absent :] wish me luck when the time comes!

[swati-art]