#yeah i'm angry in this one lol

[valentjin]

charm point: his nose scrunches :)

[darubyprincx]

I WON'T ANNOUNCE MY SHEER DESCENT BUT HOLY FUCK THERE WILL BE SIGNS

[crownedwille]

I've come to the conclusion that loving young royals doesn't mean I can't be critical about it, maybe especially bc I love the show so much I have such strong feelings about it, good and bad and I can love parts of canon and agree with it and appreciate it but I don't have to love it all. I have accepted that it's okay if I don't accept the ending and I don't have to force myself to support it. It's okay to not agree with all of canon and it's okay to not side with all of the creators' intentions/views. Loving a show doesn't mean you have to take everything the writers say on face value and that's the only version that is allowed to exist. Canon isn't everything and fandom is about curating your own experience that makes you happy and not miserable. You don't have to dismiss canon in every aspect and ignore it entirely, that's certainly not what I want but there is a fine line between being canon respectful, allowing some parts to exist and sometimes, yes, you just have to say "fuck canon" and move on for your own sanity and wellbeing

[da-proti-toku-grem]

i was having a midnight talk with my brother yesterday and i told him that when i went out with my friend the other day i didn't have any anxiety attack (like it usually happens to me every time i go out of my house), and you know i wasn't expecting him to say anything about it, people would usually go "...okay? 🤨" like, that's what it's supposed to be like, why would you have anxiety because of that? but he went: "Good! 😁" and high-five'd me

and i- i didn't know what to say but it warmed my heart :(

[wandaxpietro]

relapsed thinking about eriklorna again. fucked up fucked up fucked up

[cryolyst]

-

[unproduciblesmackdown]

that moment when: everyone's lives are restricted and constricted and these imposed consequences are attributed to anyone's continual individual failures to seek, find, and follow the Correct Path through Life, and so everyone is left on their own to only be seeking & finding these failures as well as the only answer to how their lives can be better....versus Not seeing the world as the free marketplace meritocracy of everyone's personal failures/successes, nor everything in your own life, and thus not forever having to scrutinize Where You Must Be Bringing It Upon Yourself by fucking up or at least failing to do the correct thing, and exist only in perpetual punishment for your ongoing failure and occasional temporary reprieves from it. recognizing everything that wasn't & isn't & wouldn't be [this is because you're bringing it upon yourself] and thus having more capacity & capability to look at the realm of your personal individual self, reality, experiences, life through the perpetual instances of seeking, finding, and following your own needs/wants through one's inherent personhood and exercises of autonomy and recognition of where & when & how one recognizes moments of their existing freely & in more resonant genuine alignment with themself, you know? endless examples to be found in endless fractals of [where & how are people's lives made smaller]. and that of course this doesn't preclude the ability/option at any time to question one's choices, since you'll be able to find more Actual choices available to you (and, also crucially, find more actual choices made by others that are in the pursuit of limiting Yours) to look at, and people getting to exercise their autonomy isn't the same as "everyone doing anything they want regardless of how it affects others" since that [how does it affect others?] element instead being Regarded would be able to lead to recognizing that, in fact, an effect might be the infringement on others' autonomy, hence: There's A Problem....like the ability to just go ham with [questioning???] anything in existence, certainly including oneself, b/c the "norm" is such that rather you're only supposed to be able to question yourself for your failings (or those positioned as less than, thus, beneath you) and not even have the language to express a questioning of aspects of life beyond that b/c stop calling anyone "cis" they're just Normal, Just Be Normal and it would all be fine

[daz4i]

if i may complain for a bit about something that doesn't actually matter and can be easily avoided. god i hate fics that baby-fy chuuya

[bearfeathers]

what kind of ted lasso ass horoscope is this lol

i want the ones who wronged me to suffer 😠

[simptasia]

it is 4 degrees and i am suffering, i fucking hate the cold so fucking much

[deepspaceclawstation]

I'm just..very sad and pathetic today. Sad and pathetic hours.

[elytrafemme]

i have a really weird relationship with relationships too, huh. i guess if we’re gonna just talk about shit tonight. like not even that i’m a bad person to be in love with, though i guess that too, but like. in the past i have a history of being really self destructive in relationships, and also (albeit to give myself credit, this would be more reactionary to a feeling of entrapment rather than just straight up) pretty unstable around my partners. which is maybe weird to admit but i feel like relationships are such a core part of my life since i have had like. so many issues with them and related subjects since a really young age. 

but also like, more recently it’s less destructive behaviors because i am actively trying not to do that shit again. but more like. i get really insecure about things when i think about the person i’m in love with, which is odd because i’m not a very insecure person at all. one of my biggest annoyances actually is when people assume i hate myself more than i do, because if i ever do hate myself it’s a very strange fluke of a day and in general i love myself debatably to an unhealthy degree. like my friend the other day said that my ego was too low and i was too shocked to even laugh because she was like so deeply off about that. it really bothers me.

anyway. being in love makes me insecure and has historically made me do weird things. which would be fine if i wasn’t such a fucking hopeless romantic.

[hopefulobjectmiracle]

that klaine anon is seriously getting on my nerves...please shut the fuck up and stop harassing people who aren’t interested in the ship or even *gasp* people who like them but prefer other characters/ships 😩

[trash-nerd]

oh oh i hattte calling people ik are gonna be mad abt what i have to say yeesh

[baltears]

being told to do anything i don’t want to do for the sake of pleasing family is an immediate off switch for me. brain shutdown only hostility and refusal i literally don’t even care what it is

[master-k0hga]

| X E N A |

[ Category: The Promised Land ]

| Finally got around to finishing her like just over a week ago if I remember correctly.. To which I DON'T!!... But yeah, this is Xena, of course the concept of Karmen having some involvement in her creation/repairs is still there and ofc why wouldn't I do that and why wouldn't I make that one of the main reasons why both her and Karmen WOULD get together jhjhhjhjhjh,,,,

But yeah- Most about Xena is still roughly the same, she's created completely of machinations, Karmen's heavy involvement with her that does become like an 8 or so year project which takes Karmen to at least the age of 25 or so once Xena is officially done. But the difference is that she was actually, although a "incomplete waste of metal", she was an official assassin bot created by the Deceitful before they found someone "better" to take that position.. So Xena was disassembled, dumped and left to rot before Karmen found her one day and decided to take her in and fix her up!

.. Anyways I'll re-type what I wrote in her ref sheet in case nobody can read it, my writing is well tiny and off when I do these and it sucks but oh well:

Info

Age is unknown; Not that the Deceit had any plans to consider her family or whatever

Created by the Deceit to assassinate their targets (or should I say Kira's targets who he p much has beef with)

Gets discarded by the Deceit after they found a replacement to act upon their deeds (of course with a price); After some time being disowned by them Karmen eventually comes into her life, takes her into the small tribe (with mixed opinions rightfully so for a time) and has her fixed up along with a couple other members of the tribe to help with the complete refix

Originally she was just a bot with no personality or anything unique about them before Karmen; Because of the girl's expertise in becoming a mechanic, with lots of different kinds of materials, metals and whatnot Xena was given a face of her own, a personality and eventually even her own freedom to think, speak and do what she can and wishes to do

After some time when she finally becomes her own person, she suddenly becomes both attached and overly protective of Karmen, as Asim is to Caligo; Safe to say Xena had scanned and downloaded data and emotion from the one she considers to be an "inspiration" for protecting loved ones

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

That's the basics of Xena and a bit extra also slight detail to what I've already established in her ref (and I will ignore the minor spelling error or "Assassin" in said bio til I eventually fix that, ofc that'll be done and dusted by the time I post this ref along with the art spam but this is just here in case I DON'T do that... Which is more likely than you think...)

There's not really all that much to say about her other than the usual, she was kinda how she was back in my now scrapped "Kohga Arc" AU where I introduced her to, just only difference is now she's part of her own thing at this point... So just having her here and have her purpose is sort of just there to aid and protect this small branch of Fae (and their mixing with other tribes in this branch, especially since after Asim and Caligo's story)... Anyways-

Extra(s):

Although having been completely refixed with the help of Karmen and her knowledge of technology for such a secluded tribe of magic bearers, Xena within her repaired state does still contain the "decor" of the Deceit, especially that mainly inspires from Kira's signature purples and golds

It was quite the scare for Caligo when Karmen brought this badly dismembered bot that was created by their oppressors, so in no surprise Caligo heavily detested, protested and so on to get that "killer machine" out of the safety of the tribe of the "Sights of the Future", seeing as this same bot (while also being a test run at the time before being discarded) was used in the events of the "Purge of the Defiance" where Caligo and Katsumi's father was killed along with others, friends and family alike of the secluded tribe before they narrowly escaped death. It did take some time persuading and calming them, but eventually Caligo accepts and embraces Xena into their family, especially some time after Karmen completely repurposes her and everything

Xena has no recollection of the previous murders and killings she had committed after her "reboot", so in a sense she's completely new and only has her eyes, wiring and new purpose on protecting Karmen's family, and the future of the Promised Land. However although she is no longer of use to the Deceit after they abandoned her, it seems she still has data imbedded deep in her coding that is still very vital for the Deceit to carry out their plans

Xena isn't just a bot who eventually falls for her saviour, she also has some pretty nifty mechanics and abilities that are built into her metal body; She's got rather super human strength which when it comes to physical tasks that involve heavy lifting are very beneficial, in the palms of her hands she has a mechanic where she is able to shoot from her hands, it's even better seeing as the projectiles she shoots (which are like beams of energy) adapt to whatever climate they're in, and her speed in immeasurable as she can outrun even the fastest

She has her own compendium; Able to take pictures of wildlife, discoveries and so on.. They mostly consists of Karmen, dragonflies and mushrooms however

Her original design she never had hair, it was thanks to Karmen for "spicing up her personality" for donating her own hair to the cause of "Project Xena". Perfectly dyed to match the "Sights of the Future" tribe

Asim appreciates Xena for volunteering to protect his daughter from threats, and especially knowing her presence is putting Caligo's mind at ease reassures Xena quite a lot; Karmen overall has a deep fascination with the "metallic protector" and is heavily implying she is crushing on her a LOT

💙 🤍 💙 🤍 💙 🤍 💙 🤍 💙 🤍 💙 🤍 💙

And that's all I have for Xena for now I suppose, there's not really much else to say or explain further so for now this is all there'll be for her til I either think of more to talk about or when I finally get on with trying to properly adapt this mystical realm.

Overall even though her past is unfortunate as she was built to kill on demand by the oppressing yet oppressed group to take down their enemies, her new purpose definitely redeems her and brings a form of hope to "Sights of the Future", and no doubt their little tribe is in very good hands with not only witch blood to cast magic and spells of protection around them, but also with a skilled dual blade who will some day take over the role as leader, and also a former assassin bot who is now re-purposed to protect them and their families at all costs!

.... It's kinda nice, now this is a found family trope I can get behind! lol..

... I have so many more to get on with and I don't know how I'm not only gonna try making sure so that they all fit rather well in place, but also trynna find ways to make it so it actually works in a way... World building is hard, I'm too exhausted for this....

Oh well, nobody else has any idea about this and this isn't something anybody has I suppose done yet.. Someone's gotta do it!.....

Even if it is just a waste of time in the end...

. Xena, Art © Me . DON’T RE-POST .