#yeah it's such a shame actually this author is so ignorant bc this series could have been batshit insane with coolness

[fuckmeyer]

blows my mind there's not even a Chinese coven in The Twilight Saga. no Indian coven. only ONE coven in the Middle East/Africa: EGYPTIAN. no Greek coven, no Iranian coven, no Afghan coven, no Ethiopian coven, no Nigerian coven; FUCK ancient civilizations i guess! no one in South or Central America but the AMAZONS???? for real?????? the POTENTIAL to incorporate LEGENDS and HISTORY and CULTURE — wasted! i CANNOT with this author thinking the only vampire civilizations exist in Europe & America!! fuck off directly into the sun!!!

[realisaonum]

book meme

thank you, jen @det395​ !! i feel like this meme got away from me a bit, but no shame! i love talking about books and writing so onward ~under the cut~

1- how many books are too many books in a series? 

mhmmmmm i guess it depends on the objective of the series, right? is the plan to have x number of books in the series and if so, when we finally get to the end will it be satisfying considering all the books we’ve read leading up to it? OR is the objective of the premise / characters just to exist doing whatever? both can be done well. i would say a lot rides on how much i trust the author.

2- what do you think about cliffhangers?

so this is meant for cliffhangers in a series like between books? i don’t really care if there’s a cliffhanger as long as i have the next book sitting right next to me. otherwise uh, only if the wait between books is tolerable, because at that point you need to know that the author can clear this mess up, right? there’s this other thing, like you know how if the entire series was already written, then they might release the books a month apart or a quarter apart - that could be alright too. but years in between? not especially a fan. is anyone a fan?

3- hardback or paperback?

jen, you and me are complete opposites here. paperbacks stress me out. i will go out of my way to buy a used hardcover if given the choice. of course, there are some publications i don’t mind in paperback —thinking poetry and super indie books that don’t have a hardcover release OR books where the spines are thin enough they won’t break and i won’t be holding them long enough for them to wear. hardcovers are sturdy and i don’t have to worry i’ll accidentally bend the cover in some damaging way. I am invested in keeping my books nice to the point that i create covers for my books out of kraft paper or brown grocery bags while i am reading them. this is something i started when i was in college and didn’t want these books i was hoping to probably resell get thrashed coming in and out of my bag for all these classes. My home library is probs more half and half paperback/hardcover but if given a choice usually it’s hardcover.

4- least favourite book?

i think it’s good to at least attempt to meet a book on its level. there are lots of books i didn’t like, but i wasn’t meeting them on their level and i know that so we’re ignoring those. i do however have a shelf on my goodreads dedicated to books that i have beef with so i’ll just go off on two of them.....

tana french’s the likeness for being plagiaristic shit. it is essentially poorly concealed alternate universe OC insert fic of the secret history. you’ve got french’s dublin murder squad folks and then this group they are investigating who bear a STRIKING resemblance to the greek students in tsh 🤔. this would be one thing. it is pretty well acknowledged that nothing is original and there are enough changes to The Likeness that MAYBE i could let it slide if not for this other thing: french’s book, the likeness, has lines that are just basically reworded quotes from the secret history and french positions these lines so they are said by the counterpart (essentially same!) character that gave them original life in tsh. i cannot stress this enough: you can HEAR how similar the sentences are and their core intent is always the same. it’s thinly veiled theft! it astounds me that French hasn’t been sued frankly. it is one thing to want to capture some of the genius that tartt’s debut novel holds, but it is completely lazy and disgusting theft to go about it in the way French did with this book. and YES the secret history was published before french’s book. if i could stomach how fucking goddamn boring the likeness was to read it a second time and cite every one of these offenses i would, but that’s yet a third strike against it—it’s too boring to be worth it. 

T. Kingfisher’s second book of the Clocktuar War duology : The Wonder Engine. this is a book that i feel violated the contract between writer and reader. the first book feels almost like a YA book. the stakes while described as very high are treated, as actions unfold, as very low. nothing truly irreparable happens until the climax of the second book and the fallout of that action is so off-tone of everything that came before i felt deeply betrayed. no, like, completely betrayed as in it ruined the rest of my afternoon, i am still viscerally angry eight months later, and i will never trust this author again. sure, maybe none of those actions that led to the climax were out-of-character, but there was nothing NOTHING in the proceeding action that even came close to that level of consequence. it’s a pity because right up till that point i was having a really good time. the entire vibe of the rising action to the climax of book one all the way through the rising action of book two was just a quippy fun version of roadtrip/quest - it felt like a comfort read. the abrupt tone shift had all the subtlety of dropping a graphically, brutal murder into Blue’s Clues. you don’t do that - this is a basic tenet of a writer / reader relationship. i’m not touching this bitch’s shit again.

5- Love Triangle, yes or no?

not so much. i like jen before me will scream ‘just be poly.’ love triangles that lead into poly relationships? yes, awesome will be glad i read. but i am at a stage in my life where your standard will-they-won’t-they-love-triangle is just fucking pointlessly frustrating to me. an example: i read a Nic Stone’s book Odd One Out a couple years ago and something about the synopsis or the hype made me think that it would resolve the love triangle that way, so when that did not happen i was incredibly frustrated and immediately wanted to resell the book. it’s the potential of the thing. stone’s book could have been the perfect vehicle for opening up the concept of polyamory to a ya audience but instead just really squandered that potential with weak floundering — in my opinion!

6- the most recent book you just couldn’t finish

uhhhhh i’ve got two and i’m not sure i’ve entirely given up quite yet buuuuuuuut 

fucking dune. i got really pissed off with this book. So just…setting aside the whole vaguing at a pedophilically inclined queer coded villain - it’s done so poorly, that it's almost funny? like it doesn’t (as of half way through) actually have any consequence on…anything at all and is tacked on like an afterthought to the end of his scenes. honestly it all could just be cut out entirely with no recourse to the larger story. So my actual beef with this book is the pacing is ATROCIOUS. like yo, not only do you expect me to give a shit about these Atreides cunts, when we just met them and we spend the same amount of time with them IF NOT MORE with the antagonist? but you also expect me to believe Paul was able to just convince the leader of the Arrakis people —the leader of an entire planet!!— with a single fucking sentence??? yeah, not so much. it was not set up for me to believe that Paul could do that! maybe if Kynes hadn’t died immediately after—or at least not died at that moment? baring the fact I thought he was by far the most interesting character, IF he had been convinced by Paul in that scene, it would have been great to see some actual work done around that - with a transfer or a liaise of power between Kynes and Paul and the Fremen. By not having any substantive scene that does it - it begs the question of what the fuck was the point of the character in the first place? unplumbed potential!!! over all there seem to be some key scenes missing to get the reader to where the narrative expects us to be? but the choices made of the characters we spend time with and the moments we see with them, the benefit to the larger story…is not always there. hey herbert, these words you have written aren’t doing what you want them to?? i feel like i should finish it but i reaaaaallly don’t want to :) the only thing i can say is it looks like from the trailer, villeneueve is giving space to these moments so that the viewer can foster a genuine connection with the characters? radical concept.

our lady of perpetual hunger - i started this one optimistically bc i like chef memoirs, but i am at the point where she has just given birth to her son and honestly DON’T CARE. i still haven’t officially given up on it yet since i actually fucking bought it like a dope. i certainly would not have if i knew how much NOT about working the line this was gonna be

7- book you are currently reading

Aside from the failures mentioned above, I am working on the second book in B. Catling’s Vorrh trilogy, The Erstwhile. Also very close to finally finishing Iain Sinclair’s The Last London - there’s a review of his work from the LA Times that goes “One of Sinclair’s greatest skills has always been his ability to take diverse if not chaotic source material and refashion it in a way that sometimes seems downright alchemical” which captures some of the wonder I experience when reading his work. His style and how he creates atmosphere and setting is just unique and astounding.

8- last book you recommended to someone

The Secret History by Donna Tartt. Before that I told my brother to read Eat a Peach, as we both love Anthony Bourdain and David Chang talks about him a bit here, plus it’s just a fucking great book. any book that gives insight into Chang’s methodology and paradigm is worth a shot.

9- oldest book you read

I think it might have to be Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night (which apparently according to wiki premiered on the stage a whole four months before Hamlet so that’s what we’re going with) and if plays don’t count, I don’t care. I think they count and that’s what we’re going with.

10- the most recent book you read ?

Given the previous question, the most recently published book, right? It’s gotta be the one I just finished: The First Collection of Criticism by a Living Female Rock Critic - Revised and Expanded edt., which like just came out this summer. I watched Jessica Hopper’s promo zoom, curtesy of my local indie bookstore, and went ahead and bought it. This was a great decision! It was just what I needed to read these last couple of weeks. i love there’s lots of short pieces that made the read quick and the fact that it’s non-fiction so there was no pressure of a plot or the emotional weight of character investment when I had a lot of big stressors dragging me down irl -it was such a relief. Hopper’s criticism is fun to read and there’s some real art in her appreciation of music here.

11- favourite author?

These are the top in a kind of order but not really: Donna Tartt, Jeff VanderMeer, Megan Whalen Turner, Flannery O’Conner, Chuck Palahniuk, Anthony Bourdain

Other faves very much worth mentioning: Emily O’Neill, Richard Siken, Brandon Sanderson, Warren Ellis, Nathan Englander, Stephen King, Eddie Huang, Carl Hiaassen, Anne Carson, and Iain Sinclair.

12- buying books or borrowing books?

Depends on if my library has it, of course! I nearly always see if my library has a copy first if i have never read it or the author before. If i’ve read the book before or trust the author, I’ll buy it. Like I’ll straight out buy new stuff from Jeff VanderMeer even though with him it’s either this-hits-exactly-and-is-my-new-fave or i-really-disliked-this-but-admire-the-boundaries-you’re-pushing-my-dude - so it’s always a gamble but a worthy one.

12- a book you dislike that everyone else seems to love

a little life (just bc it's torture porn elevated to art doesn’t negate the fact that it’s torture porn. Yanagihara’s project here is repugnant and the fact that this book is lauded as moving lgbt fiction makes my skin crawl)

sharp objects (good writing, compelling story, BUT typographical scarification doesn't work like that - i am not going to get into it but i know from first hand experience how Flynn described it is not accurate)

nesbø’s the snowman (what kinda dumbass detective would think THAT when a woman finds her missing father’s corpse? absolute idiocy - so obviously reverse engineered with that end in mind)

the raven cycle (fuck ronan lynch to start and then fuck him to end as well - there’s some other stuff but mostly he’s a total CUNT and if i don’t say that once a day i have probably died)

14 - bookmarks or dogears?

Bookmarks and sticky notes. Then I can place it pointing directly to the paragraph I last stopped on.

15- The book you can always reread?

This is my question because I reread all the time. ALL THE TIME. Books I reread often: The Secret History, Medium Raw (especially chapter 17 The Fury), Crooked Kingdom, The Violent Bear It Away, and The Goldfinch. Every year like clockwork (since it came out apparently) I will reread Stephen King’s The Outsider.

Other books I feel the urge to reread: VanderMeer’s Acceptance, Englander’s Dinner at the Center of the Earth, Frazier’s Nightwoods, Fresh Off the Boat, the Mr. Mercedes trilogy, the Peter Grant Series (which is queued up for another go here soon I think), any of the stories from A Good Man is Hard to Find, Sanderson’s Wax and Wayne Mistborn books, simon vs the homosapiens’ agenda, and there are two of Alan Morinis’ books on Mussar that I am technically always revisiting—when i need a reminder, i’ll jump around and read specific sections to get centered again.

16- can you read while listening to music?

Yes, but only ambient or near ambient (only usually one track on repeat) or a soundtrack I am extremely familiar with. No new music. I do usually need some audio stimulation or my mind will wander terribly.

17- one POV or multi POV?

Multi pov can certainly be done well (looking at the soc duaology and VanderMeer’s Acceptance) but working a multi-pov means there are more plates spinning, it’s more of a challenge, and some authors pull it off better than others.

18- do you read book in one sitting or in multiple days?

I don’t really do this anymore. that might have something to do with me picking up thicker books? but also i have a full time job now and let’s be real the book has to be hella good if i don’t want to put it down. the last book i attempted to shotgun was the final installment of my favorite series and it still took me two days so....i can get through a lot of books but none of them are ever in one sitting anymore.

19- who to tag:

@sybilius​ @mouth-rainboy​ @iwonderifthatisart​ @phereinnike​ @magnificentmoose​ @wambsgangs​ @moriarteaparty​ and anyone else if you feel so inclined!

Bonus Question: What’s on your to-read shelf? 

As for me, I am excited about one i just picked up, Danforth’s Plain Bad Heroines, which i might start tomorrow and I will be taking Paul Madonna’s Come to Light on my trip to see my brother this coming weekend. 

[momentofmemory]

fictober - day five

Prompt #5: “I might just kiss you.”

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe (All Media Types/Iron Man Films)

Warnings: Canonical Major Character Death (referenced)

Rating: G

Characters: Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Howard Stark (mentioned), Peter Parker (mentioned), Steve Rogers (mentioned)

Words: 2397

Author’s Note: taking a short break from the may & peter series bc the prompt didn’t fit, so instead we have a tony-centric character study. cap is referenced but the primary relationship is between tony and howard. i have mixed feelings about this one, honestly, but it’s done before midnight at least, so, ~le shrug~

>>Sins of the Father

Tony had never understood his father’s obsession with Captain America.

If he was being perfectly honest (which he wasn’t), part of that was because he’d never really tried—had actively avoided trying, actually, because Howard had never bothered trying to understand him. It seemed fitting to return the favour. So, when Steven Perfect-Posture Grant Rogers popped out of the ice, God, did it feel like a punch in the teeth.

(Teeth that weren’t as perfect as Captain America’s.)

There’d been one night three weeks before Tony was supposed to move out for college when Howard had announced he’d be going on a month-long expedition to try to find the almighty Captain America, yet again. Tony didn’t remember much after that except a lot of yelling and a lot of hurt, because how dare his father leave them to search for someone whose body had probably decomposed five times over by now.

(Steve popping up thirty years later, obnoxiously alive and younger than he was, would prove this argument to be factually wrong, but Tony still stood by his conclusion.)

He’d wanted nothing to do with Steve at first, furious at his father for being right about the man surviving more than anything. But fate and Nick Fury refused to let him have his peace, and he found that getting to know Steve—and maybe not hating him—had been an even stranger thing than discovering he was alive.

Then Sokovia and the Winter Soldier and Siberia and a grainy video tape from 1991 happened, and all he wanted was to hate Steve. And he did, because god if he doesn’t know how to hold a grudge—Howard taught him a lot about never letting go when it comes to Captain America. But he also didn’t, because he wasn’t Howard, and Steve… Steve wasn’t just Captain America.

Tony spent the next two years doing everything in his power to forget Steve ever existed, which included ignoring calls from Ross about the man’s whereabouts. After one such call that ended spectacularly badly after Ross hinted he wanted information on Spider-Man, Tony found himself sitting in his father’s office, staring at the mockup of the city. It seemed his life had boiled down to the same thing as his father’s: a consultant on the neverending search for Captain America.

Tony flicked up the schematics for a new iteration of Peter’s suit—the upgrades he’d made to his own nanotech needed to be incorporated, just in case Peter ever changed his mind about it. He tapped his fingers on the armrest and stared at the shield hanging on the wall. 

He didn’t understand Ross’s obsession, just like he didn’t understand his father’s. He still didn’t care to try.

One man isn’t important enough to waste all of that time on finding.

Tony maintained this perspective until one moment Peter was standing in front of him, whole and alive and so, so young, and then the next he found himself falling through dust and air because Peter was gone.

He stared at the ash clotting the blood on his hands, and all he could think was, Oh.

This was how one life could be important enough.

An alien flew him across the galaxy and then another one carried him home, and when he saw Steve had survived he couldn’t help the bitter thought that at least his father’s life work wasn’t lost again.

Just his.

After Dr. Cho allowed him out of the infirmary, Tony hid in the penthouse with Pepper and filled every waking moment reading up on the latest time travel theories. The EPR Paradox in particular kept him up for three days straight, until he rejected it on the basis that quantum travel was too theoretical—not to mention risky, even for him.

Then Pepper told him she was pregnant, and Tony's heart lurched out of his chest because he was going to be a father, and seeing Morgan for the first time seven months later awakened something that felt like hope inside of him.

Three months into the kind of sleep deprivation only a newborn baby can provide, Tony snuck down to the lab he’d installed in the garage for the first time since Thanos.

_________________________

The hologram’s failure message projected blood-red light over his hands.

God damn it.

Tony dropped onto the bench and ran his hands through his hair, trying to get rid of the feel of dust and ash. He didn’t know why it wouldn’t work.

“Tony?”

He jerked his head out of his hands and saw Pepper, whose lips pulled thin as she took in the sight of Friday’s projection. “What is this?”

Shame curled in his stomach.

“Just, you know,” Tony slid to his feet and hid his pen behind his back. “Stuff.”

Pepper pulled up the list of iterations Tony had run through the simulation, and Tony winced at the sheer number of decimal places in Friday’s report.

“You’ve been spending a lot of time down here lately,” Pepper said, too casually for it to actually be.

“Gotta keep the old mind busy,” Tony said, closing the charts before Pepper could comment on the hours logged. “Wouldn’t want Morgan thinking her old man was slipping.”

Pepper looked at the physics papers on the desk. “And is he?”

“...Maybe. I just…” Tony paused, and then turned to gesture at the hologram. “What if there was a way to... fix all of this? I feel like I owe it to at least try.”

“I’m not going to stop you, Tony.”

Tony froze. He tore his eyes away from the hologram to look at Pepper, who stood with her arms crossed in front of her. “Hang on, sorry, I think I just had an auditory hallucination. Wanna repeat that?”

Pepper’s mouth twitched. “Tony,” she said, coming over to sit on the workbench. “If you really can do something about this, I can’t stand in the way of that.”

Tony stared at her, and then sat down as well, cautiously—unsure if it was a trap.

“But.”

There it was.

“I am going to request boundaries,” Pepper said. “One of which is that you can’t hole up in here for more than three hours at a time.”

“I feel like we could make allowances, maybe like an every other Tuesday thing, but continue.”

“And secondly, don’t beat yourself up over something you know won’t work.”

“…What?”

“I know you, Tony.” Pepper poked his chest. “You don’t like admitting when you can’t do something. So tell me: is this really possible?”

The Mobius strip rotated languidly behind him, the TEST FAILED alert blinking in rhythm with his heart.

“…No,” he admitted. “Or at least, not any more. The only thing that seems like it could work requires Pym particles, which we don’t have. Even with them, I can’t get the simulation to work.”

Pepper nodded, a mixture of relief and disappointment on her face. Tony wondered if this was how Howard felt: living in a world that couldn’t keep up with his ideas, knowing Cap was out there but not having the tools to do anything about it.

“Okay,” Pepper said. “Then three hours it is. And you have to read to Morgan every night before bed, when she’s old enough.”

“You strike a mean bargain.”

He looked at the simulation again. Pepper was right: there was nothing he could do. Howard had wasted years of his life chasing after Cap, and even though he’d been right about him being out there, that didn’t change the fact that there was nothing Howard could have done to save him, anyway.

“Okay, Pep.”

Tony stood and walked over to the projector, and turned it off. Pepper’s eyes softened.

“Don’t get too excited, I’m sure I’ll find something else to wreck the household with,” Tony said, shutting down the rest of the system. Pepper arched an eyebrow at him and he sighed. “Fine. You got me. I’m sorry I’ve been… Distracted.”

“Mm. That does seem like a problem,” Pepper said. She stood and came up behind him, wrapping her arms around him to trace her fingers along his collarbone. “I can think of a few other ways to distract you, though.”

Tony spun in her grasp and wrapped his hand around her waist. “Oh really? You got something in mind?”

“As a matter of fact, I was thinking I might take you upstairs—”

The baby monitor’s light blinked on and Pepper’s thought was interrupted by the sound of Morgan’s cries echoing through the garage. The six-month-old had apparently woken up from her nap.

Pepper winced.

“…Or I might just kiss you and leave it at that.” She disentangled herself from Tony’s embrace, and Tony whined in displeasure.

Pepper tapped him on the nose with her finger, but kept her promise by following it up with a quick kiss to his cheek. “And you can meet me in Morgan’s room in five minutes with a glass of iced tea and that book on caring for llamas.”

“You are no fun,” Tony said.

Pepper laughed and kissed him again, this time on the lips, which Tony enthusiastically returned.

“I believe Morgan requires your assistance sooner rather than later, Mr. and Mrs. Potts,” Friday said, with a practiced air of professionalism that still managed to sound incredibly pointed.

“Yeah, got that, thanks Fri,” Pepper said, pulling away from Tony with a final squeeze on his shoulder. “Don’t be late.”

Tony watched Pepper go, tapping his pen against his fingers. He looked at the projection table, and thought about all the lonely nights he’d had as a child, and how he’d wished Howard would’ve stayed home just once.

He turned the lights out, and went to be with his daughter.

______________________

Ant-Man was back, and Ant-Man had steam-rolled through all the theories Tony’d studied on and off over the last five years out of sheer dumb luck. And he had Pym particles, enough for a pretty decent sized team.

Tony couldn’t do this.

He’d never fully given up on bringing everyone back, toying with ideas on and off, but had never been able to figure out a solution to the forward progression of time. The Pym particles solved the issues with the Planck Scale, but as far as the Deutsch Proposition went… It’d been five years and he still hadn’t solved it.

When Cap asked him if he could do it, what he thought was I tried, and what he said was “I can’t.”

Tony felt Howard’s disapproval at his back as he watched their car drove off.

And yet he’d said I can’t, but when he stood in the middle of the kitchen and saw Peter Parker in that stupid picture that’s always been his favourite, with their smiles and upside-down certificate, everything clicked.

He asked Friday to pull up the schematics right there on the living room table, but this time, inverted: or, upside-down. 

Friday’s simulation worked, and Tony felt like he’d just found Captain America.

Then Morgan walked down the staircase, and Tony felt like he was six years old, watching his dad leave them again.

Tony coasted through the next half hour in a blur, getting juice pops for Morgan and tucking her in bed, and mostly thinking about how incredibly lucky he’s been. He went downstairs thinking only about three thousands, but the second he saw Pepper everything came tumbling out. She tilted her head and asked a question he didn’t see coming.

“But would you be able to rest?”

Tony looked away, placing the popsicle stick back in his mouth. He worried it between his teeth as he thought about how to put into words everything he’d been harboring over the past… forever, really.

“I’ve been thinking about my dad,” he said, finally. “Howard… never knew how to let go of his failures, and he hurt a lot of people because of it.”

Pepper pulled her knees up onto the couch and rested her chin on her hand. “Sounds like he might have had some problems with ego.”

Tony looked at her in surprise, and she sighed.

“Tony, your father’s obsession with finding Cap was a problem because it was never about Cap—it was about Howard. His own guilt at not being able to do something he felt like he could. That’s not what Peter is for you.”

Tony frowned. “I don’t think we’re on the same wavelength here.”

“You’re not trying to bring him—and everyone else—back because it’s something you need. You’re doing it because it’s something they need. If it was an obsession, you wouldn’t have been able to put it aside all those years ago when it wasn’t feasible.”

This was true—ever since his talk with Pepper, the urge to figure out time travel had become more of a hobby than anything, because it was, after all, strictly theoretical without the Pym Particles didn’t exist. As Morgan had gotten older, he’d learned how to appreciate what was in front of him instead of regretting what was behind. 

That didn’t mean he didn’t still want to make it right.

“This isn’t obsession, Tony. This is a desire,” Pepper said, and then hesitated. “...And it’s not just yours.”

Tony saw Pepper’s own grief over what had been lost flicker over her face, and took the stick out of his mouth and flicked it into the fire. She was right.

“You know there’s a good chance we won’t all make it back.”

Pepper pursed her lips and looked away, but her voice didn’t waver. “I know. But I also know you’ll make it worth it.”

They spent the rest of the night in companionable silence, and the next morning, Tony drove to the Avengers compound.

Tony had forgotten how good the rest of his team was, and it didn’t take long before they had drummed up a pretty solid plan, a full team, and enough time particles to make it work.

He went into the past with Pepper’s words ringing in his ears.

Tony ran into his father and finally said a thank you that he meant, and it was worth it. Tony hugged Peter, alive and whole and so, so young, and it was worth it. Tony caught a glimpse of Morgan, laughing and powerful and thirty-six, and it was worth it.

Tony closed his eyes and let Pepper’s voice wash over him, and drifted off into the black.

And it was worth it.

[lyaress]

I'm sorry but the fact that you think the relationship in CApri is good is sad. Even if the author made the relationship different in the other two books it really doesn't matter considering how the relationship started out. Laurent had Damien beaten, raped, and demeaned constantly throughout the first book. It does not matter what he tries to do to make up for that in later books. No healthy relationship can come from one that started out like that.

***This will contain captive prince spoilers***

While I’m questioning whether or not you actually did read the first book or if you’re going off what other people have told you, I will still answer this because this is a story that I really enjoy and the ship is one of those ones that I can comfortably say they are soulmates who would find each other again and again and fall inlove all the same.

Book one starts out really harsh between them. Damen has been betrayed by his brother and sent to another country to make a mockery of their crown prince. Now, Damen doesn’t know that Laurent knows who he is but Laurent indeed does. Damen is the man who, on the battlefield, killed Laurent’s (very good) older brother and then doomed Laurent to a life with his Uncle who raped him (when he was a kid) and has spent his teen years constantly finding ways to insult, mock and isolate Laurent.

So if Laurent had his way he would have killed Damen then and there as vengeance for his brother and his shitty teen years. But political stuff prevent Laurent from being able to kill Damen so instead Laurent attacks him in three ways: he has Damen whipped across the back, he puts Damen into this pet vs pet (pet = fancy prostitute) thing and he also has a pet give Damen a blowjob. That all happens pretty early in book one and the point is that its very shitty and its meant to put them in a terrible starting point. And I’m not just speculating, the author has told us that we are supposed to hate Laurent and Lamen in book one.

But they do make up for it. They’re in a position where all they have to rely on is each other since their two worst enemies have teamed up and taken over both countries. They combine intellect with war experience and somehow survive every ploy their enemies use to kill them. As it would turn out, the slave the Uncle gave to Laurent as a mockery (+ he hoped Laurent would kill Damen so he could no longer be deemed a suitable ruler when it comes time to inherit) is actually not what the Uncle expected and becomes Laurent’s most valuable tool. After an entire book of them working together to not die, at the end of book two, Damen has been guaranteed his release from slavery and they have sex and its very soft and very loving and this is the absolute first time anything sexual goes down between them.

But it doesn’t stop there (book 3 starts) since there is still so many problems that need to be aired out. They’re still in a war, the problem with their history is still hanging over their heads since it hasn’t been addressed and Laurent has gone and abandoned Damen on the battlefield. By now, they are equals since Damen is freed and a prince again. He has reestablished contact with a small army of soldiers and a general who is loyal to him and not his brother. So when he meets Laurent again Laurent tells him that he knew who Damen was all along, that there’s no reason he wouldn’t remember the man who killed his brother. Laurent withdraws but politics and necessity keeps them beside each other.

I’ve left a lot of their bonding out but throughout book 3 many things go down to fix their past:- Since Damen kept one slave shackle on as a reminder of his past, Laurent accepts to wear the other one, effectively putting them on an equal playing field saying that they both acknowledge the past and both carry the burden of shame, not just Damen. Their people recognise this as a statement that they are equals.- Laurent proves himself to the Akielons by participating in their sports and using his wits to aid them etc etc This is important because Laurent and the Veretians have hated the Akielons and vice versa so it mends the fued between their people.- Laurent gives himself up to his Uncle (his abuser) because he wants Damen to be safe- Again in court Laurent does not expect Damen to come and save him. Laurent does not condemn Damen to free himself because he would rather suffer a life under his Uncle’s tormet and lose his chance at his throne than see Damen die.- When they win and the heaviness of the Regent is no longer on their shoulders, Laurent does a bit of private roleplay as a slave and bathes Damen’s whipping scars. It’s a very intimate scene that relieves some (not all but they’re trying) tension regarding Damen’s mistreatment when he was Laurent’s slave.- Somewhere amongst all of this they deal with Damen’s ex who Damen believes betrayed him- Damen is a very forgiving person who tries to forgive his brother but after being betrayed again and literally stabbed by him, Laurent does what Damen could not and kills the brother. This is critical bc now Laurent can no longer hold the “you killed my beloved brother” thing over Damen since the feeling is now mutual and justified in both instances. Its a power balancing thing.

Also I just want to mention that they literally love each other so much they cum from staring into each other’s eyes and neck kisses. Get yourself an OTP like this.

But yeah, anyway, to break it down, the reason they are a good couple despite book one is because the books do not brush over their history and put in a lot of effort to remove any power imbalances and mend their history. If the series had tried to simply be like “well, it’s in the past now who cares” it would be different but its not like that. Not only does their bond change and develop like you wouldn’t believe but the characters KNOW that they fucked up and they try their absolute best to make up for it. Its not pushed under the rug and you’re not supposed to ignore book one. That is why they’re such a good couple and why they are indeed healthy by the end of the series.