#yeah the ramblings of a madperson

[hippielittlemetalhead]

So... I lied about getting a full fix-it to This → Part 1. Y'all get parts focusing on different characters for now as Hop traverses his guilt trip. I won't say it gets worse before it gets better but... kinda in places? I promise it's a happy ending though!!

What do you want from me I'm stressed and depressed and I like making my blorbos suffer (a.k.a projecting my trauma instead of doing the healthy shit my shrink tells me to)

You've been warned... But I do hope you like it.

So here we have Part 2 (Pride and Prejudices: Joyce Edition)

He goes to Joyce about it first. Thinks about her gentle herding of the trio that has become the Hopper-Byers brood. Thinks about how she put everything he was feeling about Mike and El and their giggling and the fucking door into words that kept him from looking like an imbecile (if he'd have ever used them instead of fucking it up 'winging it'). Thinks about the way her voice stays soft and kind of quiet even when she's spitting in his face about listening to her (and every time she's been right) and how that's translated to talking down government goons and wrangling the army of children that seems to get bigger each time they have to fight interdimensional terrors. So he goes to Joyce about what Murray said, the noise Steve made with That Look in his eyes and his bandages peeking out from under a shirt that looks like one of the Henleys he's been missing since coming 'back from the dead' and they dug out his clothes from storage. (El wouldn't let her throw anything out, not until she was ready to say goodbye. Thank whatever god[s] there may be she never needed to)

He doesn't expect Joyce to make a face like he suggested inviting Owens to family dinner. He doesn't expect the scoff and eye roll as her shoulders tense and her hands flex at her sides like she's about to let loose her (honestly really attractive) righteous fury. About the Harrington kid.

Maybe he should have asked when the kids weren't home. Before El quietly told them the bullying wasn't as bad as it was in California but some people still made fun of how she spoke and how all of her friends were boys (and just as quietly asked they not do anything. Asked that they let her and The Party handle it until they couldn't). Before Will came home sulking about something idiotic Mike said or did or something the kid missed (though lately the latest Wheeler mistake is followed by bashful mention of the Emerson kid doing something specifically to make Will feel better in the moment). Before Jonathan came home from 'job hunting' or 'volunteering at the school's relief center' reeking of weed and his long-haired friend in tow (less than usual but still enough to make Joyce feel guilty for missing it for so long, for making the boy grow up so fast that he spends his days out of his mind instead of the weekend bender like when they were kids). Before The Party had come by with what homework the school was still giving out and talking over each other about all the latest small-town gossip a teenager can get their hands on (Eddie's name has been cleared but he's still laid up at the hospital. Susan Mayfield has been noticeably absent according to every nosy housewife in Hawkins considering her daughter is in a coma. The Hagans, Carvers, Perkins and a handful of other 'well to do' families have skipped town taking most of the sports population with them. Steve has been letting people displaced by the damage crash at the Harrington mansion. Steve has kept up hours at Family Video somehow and is a regular volunteer at the various relief centers in town. Steve has been giving all of them rides and may have told Dustin he's thinking of trading in the Beemer for a bigger vehicle for all the kids and people he chauffeurs about. Steve keeps a room empty and waiting for when Max wakes up before her mother makes an appearance. Steve. Steve. Steve.)

He doesn't expect the way she spits his name like she's talking about Dick and Margaret under the bleachers over a smoke before the yard teacher catches them. The rant about bullies and broken cameras and trashed kitchens and dead monsters in her fridge. The crack in her voice when she crosses her arms to stop their shaking as she lays sin upon sin at this boy's feet.

And maybe before that would have been enough.

He doesn't expect the stone in his stomach or the burning in his chest as he looks the woman he loves in the eye and says "So I guess we should tell Nancy to break up with Jonathan before he pulls a Lonnie, huh?" It's a low blow. He knows from the hurt anger on her face and on the purse of her lips. He knows that's why he said it. "That kid is lucky to be alive let alone walking and have we ever even thanked him for keeping the fucking kids alive each time they pull their dumb shit when the world goes to hell? Does that sound like anything his folks would have ever done for us? Hell for their own fucking kid they practically signed over to ME of all people?"

He's shaking now too and Joyce has her hands fluttering between them like she wants to reach out. To touch, comfort. Pull him close and tell him to take a breath.

"He called me 'His Hop', Joyce" He barely has enough breath on him to squeeze the words past his tight throat. "Called me His Hop and watched Ellie and the kids when I just couldn't and you were at work. I don't think I've seen his folks in town since the mall was opened and all the donors had that big party. Don't think I've spoken to them since '83 and they made me the kid's guardian when they aren't around cause they didn't want to fly down for a government sized concussion."

By now he knows El and Will are peeking around the corner, their eyes wide and worried. Jonathan has his door cracked and Angus (is that the hippie's name? He can't remember) is whispering something about heavy auras. Joyce is staring somewhere off in the distance, wringing her hands and biting her lips like she's facing an interdimensional portal shaped problem.

"The kids are planning to have one of their games in a few days." Her voice is brittle in a way he's not used to anymore. Not since she pulled her youngest out of hell and faced down a demon clawing through her walls. "He always drives them over and- and disappears until they need to head home. I can make sure he stays for dinner. Like the rest of the kids. I know Claudia has been having him over so I- I can get some recipes from her that he likes."

Something in his shoulders shakes loose and he reaches out to pull her practically shaking from into his chest.

"I don't know what to say to him Hop. He's not Mike and he's not like either of my boys. In my head he's just always been..."

"Dick and Margaret's brat." He sighs out and rests his cheek on the top of her head as she nods and presses herself in closer.

He's aware of eyes on them. Confused and worried and judgemental and he'll pay that piper next. These kids taught him how to be a dad again once, they can do it again, right?

Part 3

@thelittleclare @jackiemonroe5512 @0body0disphoria0 @strangersteddierthings @lingeringmirth

If I missed you in the tag list I'm sorry I tried 🙃🫡 Tell me what you think? 🫣🥲

[hippielittlemetalhead]

So I've seen a lot of 'Hop actively dislikes and distrusts Steve', 'Hop tolerates Steve because he's useful during UD shenanigans but doesn't like him', and the big swing to 'Hop has adopted Steve as his own and treats him the same/almost the same as he does El'

BUT, I present:

Hop pseudo adopts Steve because when he and Owens were trying to get the Harringtons to make any decisions about their teenager who saw some sketchy shit and may need government testing they legally gave Hop the rights to act in loco parentis and he takes that seriously because he doesn't want another Will Byers and he's pretty sure the Harrington kid has a concussion.

Hop who stays involved just enough in Steve's life season 1-3 that we the audience see Steve is getting attached. But Hop just sees an annoying kid who won't leave him alone when he's trying to deal with a rebellious psychic and her insane little friends and keeps asking stupid questions about highschool romance and teenage rivalry drama. Knows Joyce Byers doesn't like the kid but won't give a lot of reason why but he's mostly learned to trust that woman's judgement about people. Still gets him the job at Scoops when the kid's dad makes a stink about college and tells him if he survives a few months there he'll consider bringing him on the force, makes sense to keep him close and in a position to help should shit hit the fan again.

Hop who doesn't get it when Steve is one of the most relieved when he 'comes back to life' after Joyce and Murray bring him back from Russia. When Steve introduces him as "My Hop," (something he'd taken to calling him just before season 2 shenanigans) to his sarcastic, fidgety little friend like it means something. The girl, Robin, looks between the two of them and gets this sad look on her face for a second before smiling and shaking his hand and saying something about "Dingus has told me all about you".

Hop who complains to Murray one of the times The Party and assorted teens and adults are over at his renovated and expanded cabin (courtesy of Owens and shady government organizations recognizing these people are worth investing in, heavily if omens are to be believed) when the bald annoyance asks about what's up on there. Complains about having annoying teenagers who have nothing better to do but pester him legally put under his supervision cause their parents can't be assed to care and are spoiled little shits who are slightly more bearable versions of said parents cause he can stand toe to toe with one of those monsters they faced and the kids kind of listen to him. Complains about barely being able to breathe cause of regular visits and check-ins like Hop was still responsible for him. Says at least the extra hands are useful around the cabin what with the still healing up and El pacing herself after the showdown with Creel and still trying to find Max and the Byers not quite moved back to Hawkins yet.

Hop who doesn't realize that Steve hears every word cause he had gone looking for the older man when he disappeared for more than a few minutes, when he couldn't see him to make sure he was here and safe and alive. Steve who thought Hop actually had come to care for him in his own gruff way and had confessed to Robin that in a lot of ways the way Hop has taken care of him makes him the closest thing to the father figure he's always wanted but never thought he'd get to have. Steve who hears Murray hum and recollect a visit from Nancy and Jonathan where their romance officially started (he vaguely knows about the visit, didn't realize that's what happened, didn't realize she couldn't be bothered to even do the decent/considerate thing before moving on to something better) because it seemed it was a pattern he was seeing 'people liked Steve, but people didn't love Steve'.

Hop who hears a choked sound like someone taking a claw to the gut and turns to see Harrington. Steve Harrington his bandages just peeking out from the collar of his shirt and the opening of his sleeves. (He never did get the stories behind those, too busy being fussed over and being told about the kids and how they were doing as Harrington played babysitter) Steve Harrington a kid who went through hell and still managed to smile and laugh and stand tall and unyielding looking at him with a blank face his eyes misty and his shoulders starting to curl in on himself before he clears his throat, chokes out that he just wanted to make sure Hop was alright but looks like Murray had everything under control. He'd go now, get out of his hair, let him rest, let him breathe. Steve Harrington who walks away with purpose like a man on a mission and doesn't acknowledge the kids calling out asking if he's alright, make sure he has his walkie talkie on him.

Hop, who realizes maybe he left behind two kids who missed (needed) him. Who wonders who took care of Harrington's paperwork when he was concussed and sedated because he was bleeding out and feverish from infection and Hop was busy at the cabin reveling in the comfort and warmth of his daughter and the woman he loved and her two sons who were fast becoming like his own. Hop, who realizes too late that maybe if he'd given the kid half a chance he could have had 3 sons to sit with him and his daughter and the woman he loved as they basked in surviving another end-of-the-world. Hop who has spent years barely giving a damn about Steve Harrington and realizes that he's no better than the kid's own parents.

Part 2

Part 3

[hippielittlemetalhead]

TEST

I am testing the tagging function cause some of y'all aren't showing as actively/successfully tagged till after I post and some others have asked multiple times to be tagged but for some reason Tumblr won't let me see you when I'm tagging? So if you were successfully tagged just leave like a 👍or🤙 or something to let me know it worked for you?

Ones that should be successful:

@thelittleclare @jackiemonroe5512 @0body0disphoria0 @strangersteddierthings @lingeringmirth @dead-cherry-bitch @irethsune @ink777 @the-daydreamer-in-the-corner @ledleaf @pansexuality-activated @paintsplatteredandimperfect @kinryuuki @katdeerly @yikes-a-bee @altocumulustranslucidus @samsoble @sensationalsunburst @xxbottlecapx @y4r3luv @swimmingbirdrunningrock @flustratedcas @rootbeerandmusic @vinteraltus @wonderland-girl143-blog @failedstarsandgoldenclouds @steddie-as-they-go @youdrewstarsxaroundmyscars @lawrencebshoggoth @i-amthepizzaman @croatoan-like-its-hot @anaibis @maya-custodios-dionach @ineffable-monster-romancer @asquareinverona @iheartjennaaa @ellietheasexylibrarian @pukner @bookworm0690 @nightmareglitter

Ones that I definitely cannot get to work:

@steveshairspray @rocochen20 @ohimamarigold @child-of-cthulhu

[hippielittlemetalhead]

Random less-angst-than-normal (might work this into NTTTF):

What if in season one of Stranger Things when they say Steve's mom follows his dad on business trips cause she doesn't trust him and Tommy laughs that that's a valid reason. It's not about cheating? What if he's just one of those 'good business man poor socializer' types and she doesn't trust him to not put his foot in his mouth and fuck up business deals? Mr. Harrington is a new-money business man and Mrs. Harrington is old-money and using what he's built and her dowry they've begun to build an empire against all expectations.

They love Steve but they are building a legacy to hand him and expect him to live up to the precedent they're setting. So yeah. They're pushy and kind of assholes in that well meaning but poorly executed way that people who have poor emotional development but the 'right intentions' are. All "We love you and believe in you and know you can do it so why aren't you?" hence why his dad gets so mad about Steve not going to college. He has all the resources and opportunities that his father (from a poor immigrant family) and his mother (from a mysoginistic old-money family with very trad. wife expectations for her) were never given.

They love Steve and they're setting up everything to give him the life and chances they never had. But they don't even realize they're not giving him the only thing he wants: a real family.

[hippielittlemetalhead]

Is no one going to talk about the fact that Floyd from Trolls 3 is pink?

He's pink and named Floyd... So he's... Pink Floyd. =D

Don't worry, I'll see myself out after that one. Lol

[hippielittlemetalhead]

Okay but hear me out!

Punk King Steve 'The Hair' Harrington! He starts to go Punk even before season 1!

Just! Hear me out!?!

What about pre season 1 Steve goes on one last business trip with his parents to like New York or Boston or something cause he still had hope that maybe if he went with them after a victorious sophomore year making Varsity and actually having decent grades and a reputation at school built on charm and being a good little Harrington heir his parents would actually act like they care. What happens is he ends up being dragged along to and shown off at boring dinner parties but is otherwise left alone and unsupervised. He stumbles across a music store where he is obviously out of place but the music playing is loud and angry and matches the knot filling up his chest. So he spends most of the trip exploring the city with this group of people who recognize the anger in him and aren't the type to gatekeep cause what's more punk than finding your own path? Even if it's not the same as theirs he still deserves the space to find out.

And yeah he seems more the 'infiltrate and dismantle' type than the 'throw a flaming brick' type but the spirit is there.

So he learns to coiff his hair and make it big but not so much his mom would kill him. He learns to wear pants and style his shirts so they accentuate his form not make him look soft and respectable and to accessorize in small ways that are obvious to those who are observant enough to look and to those who know what to look for but still not be so showy his parents will get on him for anything. He gets a bunch of tapes and spends time making mixtapes of his favorites and buys a walkman so he can listen to his music without his parents hearing. He learns how to discreetly add a bit of blush and natural tinted mascara and tinted chapstick cause he learns he likes makeup but that sort of thing would cause problems in a place like Hawkins. He builds a greater tolerance with these people he's come to trust and learns you can actually enjoy getting drunk when it's just being stupid with some friends and not meant to make a statement. And before he has to go home he's gifted a bottle of sheer pink nail polish that makes his nails look healthy and taken care of and natural but he'll know and that's all that matters.

Steve goes back to Hawkins a little different, a little meaner, a little looser and more self-assured. Steve goes back to Hawkins and notices Nancy Wheeler. The perfect prissy princess with an edge that intrigued him even if he saw it by accident. And he spends the entire time he woos and subsequently dates her trying to bring that out, that bit of steel and fire that still really worked with her soft hyper femme aesthetic. And he falls head over heels for this girl who is soft but resilient and polite but opinionated and who obviously wants MORE and he wants to give it to her.

But then Will Byers goes missing, followed by Barb and Nancy is showing her steel but at the side of Jonathan Byers as his parents leave messages extending their trip and leaving forwarding numbers that he knows won't work when he really needs them. And he breaks the camera and that makes him feel like he's falling back into who he was before the music and the summer away from this small town. They fight in an alley after he says things he doesn't believe but knows would hurt because he couldn't get the clawing in his chest to just go away. And he takes the beating because he knows he was wrong and he remembers the scared looks people gave him that one time he got into a bar fight he doesn't actually remember but knows he won with a guy who wouldn't take a no from one of the girls in the group Steve was drinking with.

So he takes the beating and doesn't press charges and goes to apologize after dumping Tommy and Carol and comes face to face with something from his worst nightmares. He goes back after running away because he can't leave them there. He picks up a bat with nails run through it and lets loose the thing clawing in his chest. He keeps himself between the monster and the others and he keeps them safe. Will comes home. Barb doesn't.

He goes to Indianapolis for a new camera for Jonathan and comes back with more angry music. He keeps making trips and comes back with the sides of his hair shaved in not quite a Mohawk but close and a tattoo or two in places he can hide easily and a heavy leather jacket. The changes make the pacing thing in his chest quiet some and he wears a smile around Nancy and the Hollands and he walks tall through the hallways of Hawkins High his senior year.

Tommy Hagan tries to say he went bitch for Nancy Wheeler since he doesn't sleep around anymore or take his frustrations out on those weaker and less fortunate than him and he tries to say Steve is joining the freaks like Munson and his nerds but even they won't have him. Tommy Hagan and some others try to jump Steve in an empty hallway after school and before practice to "teach the dethroned King a lesson", because if Byers could leave him a bloody mess then he was never that tough. The others sport bruises and split lips and bruised egos. Tommy Hagan had a broken nose and bruised ribs and a look of fear when he's within 10 feet of his former best friend.

Steve Harrington has no throne and no court but he still undeniably wears the crown.

(part 2) (part3.1)

[hippielittlemetalhead]

OKAY! I'm buckling down for some writing today. If people in my everyday life leave me the fuck alone for once I hope to get the punk 'King' Steve and Hop adopts Steve but make it sad fix-it up by the end of the day. Feel free to scream at/with me in the comments or my ask box as I get the thoughts from my head onto a screen. 😁🤙

[hippielittlemetalhead]

Venting rant. Don't mind me.

Today is shitty. Everywhere I've applied and interviewed at this past month decided to send me 'thanks but no thanks' emails at the same time right as I walked into my current job I hate. Customers were shitty, management was absent and my estranged mother kept trying to catch my eye as she walked around the store like she thought I'd say hi at some point. I couldn't clock out until 40 minutes after my scheduled time cause I needed a manager to verify my till before I could fucking leave. And I haven't seen my person in 2 weeks and I miss him.

[hippielittlemetalhead]

Some name ideas. FYI!! Each title corresponds to lines I plan to use but which one wins will determine the impact of and emphasis on those lines!

EDIT: Due to work stuff that literally just happened the lowest ranking option(s) will most likely be removed depending on how things play out cause this is going to be a hectic next couple of weeks.

1 week timer on this to give me time to write around life shit that keeps happening. 🙃

ALSO!! I have most of the next piece of 'Hop Adopts Steve But Make It Sad' but am worried about it being too melodramatic in places so I'm looking for a beta reader or two? If anyone is interested in me occasionally knocking on their proverbial door and having them review my sad bois word vomit.

[hippielittlemetalhead]

If it’s still open, may I be added to the tag list for Never Took the Time?

Of course! Though to be fair I'm not sure when I'll update next. 😅 Everything is kind of on fire and I'm the only one doing anything and all I have is a garden hose. So fic writing is on the back burner for me for a bit. I'm sorry!

[hippielittlemetalhead]

Random idea I might play with when my other works are done, born from being on Tumblr while negotiating music with my partner while we drive about:

So a take on that soulmate AU where you hear whatever music they're listening to/is stuck in their head. But it only starts after you meet them and you only hear what they're listening to if it like moves them. It only works if it's something that can be classified as a 'favorite' of theirs.

Now the main story premise here is Character A (main pov) keeps hearing music but 'met' so many people the day it started they can't break down who it was. They have a crush on Character B and are conflicted cause they only recently started hearing music and they met Character B awhile ago so it can't be them. And it's music that is the exact opposite of Character B's whole personality so that's a factor too.

So depending on your ship so much room for misunderstandings and angst and mutual pining. Especially when it turns out due to extenuating circumstances they never really had favorites of much anything, let alone music.

Idk, this was just rattling about in the brainpan and I had to get it out. Someone feel free to use this.

[hippielittlemetalhead]

If you saw that Fic update. No you fucking didn't. Pressed post instead of save so now it's private while I finish it. Will take it off private when I'm actually done.

You may now proceed with your day.

[hippielittlemetalhead]

Visiting my partner this weekend and when we were antique shopping today someone stopped me to tell me how pretty I was. Y'all this is gonna be the highlight of the next 2 weeks.

[hippielittlemetalhead]

Punk Steve fic Update

I sat down after work today to reread my Punk!Steve posts to refresh before FINALLY churning out part 3.2, hoping focusing on that would bear more fruit that my other running fic and I realized that I am just really unhappy with all of it. Not sure if I'll be taking down what I have up already in the name of restarting but I will definitely be rewriting the whole thing. I was trying to force myself to work on that during a time when A LOT was going on and I feel like it showed in the quality of what I was putting out.

It definitely showed how I basically dropped it when I had other fic ideas that were more popular and THAT should have been a sign I was nearing a spiral of some kind.

So I'm going to start fresh, give it an actual name (if you have title ideas feel free to share them) and focus on what intrigued me about the concept and the ideas it gave me in the first place. There's a lot more to that whole 'verse I want to play with beyond 'Punk!Steve does things' and I look forward to sharing that with ya'll.

We're looking at a Valentine's Day drop for this new and improved concept though I cannot promise a regular update schedule of any kind. So just hang tight and feel free to hit me up with ideas or questions and I'll get back to ya as I can.

Till Valentine's.

[hippielittlemetalhead]

So I'm binging ST again cause tbh I've only seen the whole show once and been keeping a finger to the pulse of the corners of fandom I enjoy and/or identify with. So gonna be writing 3.2 as I rewatch season 3 cause I'm bringing in the 'actual grownups' characters and want to get them and their timelines ✨right✨.

While I do that I have some questions/ideas. Just go crazy with answering however you want to respond, simple answers or essay form I'm spitballing/brainstorming in between my bustling about & some feedback helps.

1.) Murray has connections in all the local scenes including punk & actually knows Steve just by a nickname/alternative/chosen/gifted name & realizes it when all the groups convene at the mall. This may or may not affect his feelings on stoncy and stancy shenanigans.

2.) Gareth is Steve's cousin but the parents they're related through haven't spoken since they were baby/toddler respectively. Kinda thinking their moms are sisters, the family were immigrant transplants to town for business purposes & Gareth's mom married down while Steve's mom married a new money businessman. Gareth is fully aware Steve is oblivious till Gareth says something that connects the familial dots. Idk, kicking that one around.

3.) Because of some of the hand waviness and contradicting answers I've seen about ages and grades and the like... Billy/Gareth. Will/Gareth (jealous, missed his shot Mike but he's okay eventually). Or... Gareth/Chrissy 👀

4.) {Season 4 bits} Corroded Coffin are good just if they play a different style than metal. (I saw a ficlet that they had a Greta Van Fleet esque sound mixed with a touch of metal and tbh I liked that idea a lot or they could be grunge?) Otherwise they kinda suck. 🙃

5.) Steve as El's guardian per Hop's will vs. Joyce who fights for her cause she doesn't trust Steve still? 👀

I have even more I'm playing with but they'd definitely be spoilers. 😬 And just a heads up this is my secondary account so I'm not ignoring people in the comments I just can't respond as hippielittlemetalhead 🙃 but if you want to yell at me in the asks I will absolutely answer when I can! Assuming my inbox is on and working cause technology hates me. 😅

[hippielittlemetalhead]

It's way too late, I'm so done with the day and humanity but had a silly little thought.

If girls are like super into Will like we see throughout points of the show then wouldn't at least a couple of girls have had the bright idea to befriend El in order to get close to her cute brother who wasn't giving anyone the time of day in favor of spending time with his siblings and the pizza boy pothead? Like, I was close to an older boy in HS a bunch of girls were into and often had upperclassmen trying to befriend me to get into the group he and I hung out in. He put a stop to it when he realized but like I don't see Will noticing that?

Idk, had ST in the background while I was doing shit and the idea has been pinging about in my brainpan for hours now.

Someone take this idea away from me 🙃