#yeah william is smart. in fucking robots

[unnerving-presence]

i actually hate that one video of trapper vs springtrap because it diminishes trapper to a mindless brute who suddenly can’t kill for shit and springtrap is heightened to be this super cool nonchalant guy who doesn’t even have to try to win a fight

[puhpandas]

Sorry rant incoming-

Cassie and Gregory’s characters being ruined by a book. A BOOK. Actually sucks dude. I guess you could argue GGY already put Gregory’s character down the path of no return but at least that book was well-written so I could excuse it then.

I had a funny feeling that Cassie was gonna be dumbed down in order for the plot to work I just knew it. I like Gregory but dare I say Gregory feels slightly overpowered? As in, he’s not allowed to fuck up like a realistic human being should. As a villain, he never has screw ups, like even William had major screw ups that costed him in the end. This is like a huge reason why people hate Gregory and it’s because he never shows vulnerability or moments of weakness, even as GGY.

Gregory can be used as a plot device and still be narratively well-written and feel like a kid and have other traits than just “dark humor DARK HUMOR LOL!!!” like GOD Scott. This story has become a huge guessing game and my god is it frustrating and making it hell to follow.

I don't think ggy feels overpowered bc already by him being the 2nd follower of glitchtrap he has a higher power than him controlling him too. also the very fact that Gregory is free in security breach tells us that he obviously screwed up and got killed at some point, we just havent seen that yet. ggy has a lot of traits that could lead to his downfall like arrogance, because sure he had control over the situation from the start when tony started investigating him and uncovering the truth, but he also purposefully allowed him to get further in his investigation because he thought it was amusing, and he knew hed kill him later anyway

ggy is super smart but hes also still a kid and his choices are calculated but sometimes risky, like letting tony live for so long and get closer to the truth. but the very fact that hes in control of situations most of the time tells us that if he ever LOST control, he probably wouldnt know what to do, which is what had to have happened to him for Gregory to get freed. we just havent seen that play out yet, but I dont think ggy is overpowered at all. hes a cog in the machine that overall mimic oversees, things were still able to move without him in security breach with just vanny, and he has a visible role too with him being the person to put the virus into the animatronics and keep it there. he isnt rlly meant to be a killer he just killed therapists to keep VANNY in line (along w his own when they pried too much) bc shes supposed to be the one that does the dirty work. but even then he canonically used freddy/a different robot to do it

and since he pretty much at this point canonically has amnesia in security breach, he wouldn't remember ggy so that's plenty of room for Gregory to have his half of his story where hes just himself and deals with problems without ggy being associated as just gregory (which I want so bad. I've been a Gregory fan since sb an entire year before ggy released, I love ggy but Gregory takes priority to me), and the other half which is obviously ggy, and in my best case scenario we could get to see HIM react to his past which would still be about Gregory and not ggy at the end of the day from a character writing standpoint. I cant choose what will happen but those are really our only two major questions left about how Gregory and ggy combine so. looking forward to it, especially bc steel wool seems to understand how to handle the mimic lore in sotm from what I've seen by making new content weve never seen before expanding upon book lore. sotm is to answer questions, and a game about ggy getting freed would add more questions along with solving them bc of who would have to be freeing him, and it would still leave a giant hole in how the current present day Gregory feels about all of this. they could knock both of them out if it takes place present-gregory pov looking back on it

sorry for hijacking the ask to be just about ggy, but yeah cassie was done so dirty in this book like its unbelievable, I knew from the very beginning when etp got announced (& from the original synopsis, which is like absolutely nothing like what we got) that itd fuck with her character and mess it up, but I was relieved when I found out it would be mostly about ggy but then it wasnt even and it was just a big pile of nothing while still ruining everything. I genuinely think the reception on this book as a whole from a quality standpoint was SO bad that this book will probably not even be canon anymore if it was ever supposed to be. it just fucks with so many things & theres no way steel wool was involved in any of it, when it's their entire era. I feel like theyll just let the storm pass and then continue as normal as if it never existed, continuing to write the games with only the games content in mind and I truly hope I'm right about this

[reblog-house]

Springtrap is William Afton, yeah, but no he isn't he's mindless have you seen that robot. He's got one thing in his mind and that's murder. And even then it's just creacher. Mindless dumb animal creacher.

Scraptrap, though. Now THAT is Afton. Goddamn FUCKING Afton. He's got one thing in his mind and that's murder (derogatorily). He's smart and a FUCKING IDIOT (derogatorily). He thinks he's a genius and he'll let you know every chance he gets. He'll gloat and call you a slur. Springtrap would never — he forgot how to speak.

[recoveringdreamer]

TIMING: current LOCATION: felix's boiler room PARTIES: @zombiebabysitter, @gossipsnake, @ariadnewhitlock, @notstinky, & @recoveringdreamer SUMMARY: a group of rhyming allies come together to break a curse. CONTENT WARNINGS: descriptions and discussion of snakes eating

The rhyming had become… almost fun, if Felix was being entirely honest with themself. There was something kind of entertaining about it, even if it was technically a curse. It didn’t seem to be hurting anything and, as a bonus, it seemed to annoy Leo enough that he’d been avoiding conversation with them. If it were only Felix cursed, they might have just… let it continue for a while. But they were pretty sure some of their friends were getting tired of it, and it didn’t seem fair to subject all of them to a life of rhyming just because Felix didn’t mind it. 

So, they’d called together a strategy session. A few of the people who were cursed — and no one who wasn’t. The last thing they wanted was to spread this thing even further, so it seemed way safer to only include people already involved. It wasn’t like someone could be cursed twice, right? 

The boiler room was a little cramped, not really meant to house this many people at once, but that was okay. They wouldn’t be in here long, hopefully. Felix had set the glass orange in the center of the room, like they all might need a reminder about why they were gathered here today. He squinted at it suspiciously from where he sat on the single office chair, elbows on his knees and hands folded and propping up their chin. 

“We need a plan of action,” Felix announced. “So far, nothing we’ve tried has had any real reaction. It can’t be broken. And once you’ve touched it, rhymes must be spoken. But every curse has to have an out. I think we all know that without a doubt. So, what should we do? I want to hear from all of you.”

—

As far as Charlie was concerned, rhyming kinda fucking rocked. He had been a lyric-writing machine as of late, speaking the words aloud and then writing them on paper if they sounded good. Yeah, Finn was annoyed any time Charlie opened his mouth to speak to him, seeing as how everything that came out of his mouth was a fucking rhyme, but that wasn’t his fault. How was he supposed to know that ugly as sin Faberge egg was cursed with a rhyme scheme curse?

So that’s how he’d ended up in Felix’s boiler room apartment after a shift at the pit, tired and a little out of sorts. Charlie looked around at the others in the room, then let out a sigh. “Well as far as I’m concerned, there’s nothing that we’ve learned. We’re stuck in a rhyme which is, as far as I’m concerned? A total fucking crime. But also, I’ve been writing a lot and I feel kinda like a robot. So I can go either way, I write music by day.” He shrugged his shoulders.

As far as Charlie was concerned, this was a gift. He was able to write his music and not have to wrack his brain for rhyme schemes when he was cursed to do it automatically. It was great! He’d written so many songs in such a short amount of time that he was allotting himself a break after all this was cleared up. 

__

Thea had found a nice patch of damp for herself, tucked against the wall of Felix’s possibly still rat-infested boiler room. For hundreds of years, humans had been rhyming (probably, Thea had done no real research regarding the topic). But the couplet itself dates back to like, the medieval era, right? (She really should’ve googled) Regardless, Thea felt connected to her poetry slinging ancestors in that she was certain she had poetry slinging ancestors. Really, could anyone confirm that she wasn’t related to William Shakespeare? The rhymes said otherwise. There was a history of art she was connected to; a history of verse and meter and kids teasing each other on the playground rhyming ‘fart’ with ‘smart’. It was all really normal, when she thought about it. 

Still, her ability to hold conversations was severely impaired and that ability was struggling before the rhyming. “What if the answer is a visual enhancer? Perhaps the answer is…more advancer than basic thinking?” Thea had been testing the bounds of the rhymes; as long as they existed—slant, couplet, alternate, ballade, enclosed, triplet, limerick, villanelle—the form didn’t matter. ‘Hickory Dickory Dock’ was as valid to her tongue as ‘I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead; I lift my lids and all is born again (I think I made you up inside my head)’. She wasn’t surprised that this had led to creativity for Charlie. “I’m pinking.” Thea brought her cold hands to her hot face; it was hard to say what she was about to but the truth was clear to her. 

“I-It might be that state of head clear, so-called.” Thea gestured to her hair (which was growing in nicely!). “That state of bald to which I was once appalled; in case any here recalled. That is to say, to our problem enthralled, perhaps we all must go bald?” 

—

The English language was complex and often confusing as a non-native speaker; and that was without being cursed to rhyme anytime one opened their mouth. Of course, as Anita had learned, the rhyming wasn’t limited to speaking in English. Spanish was a much more beautiful language and lent itself better to forced rhyming in her opinion. But in this strange grouping of Felix’s friends, Spanish was not a realistic option. Despite her usual propensity to yap she had resigned to being slightly more silent to try and avoid having to rhyme. Being forced to do anything, even something as simple as rhyming, was not something she had interest in. It had grown old and at least in silence Anita felt like she was in control. 

Both people who had spoken so far seemed strange and Anita didn’t know them much at all. When the one sitting against the wall suggested they all go bald, Anita’s face scrunched into a disgusted frown as her eyes rolled to the side in the direction of the woman. “No, we are not entertaining that for one moment; and I surely hope I am not that suggestion’s only opponent.” 

Moving somewhat suddenly from where she was standing near Felix, Anita picked up the orange egg from the table and threw it against a wall on the other side of the small boiler room with all her strength. It, of course, didn’t break. They’d tried that many times before. She sighed, walked over to pick it up in defeat and then placed it back in the center of the room where it had been. “It doesn’t break. And nothing happens when you feed it to a very large snake. I don’t know much about curses and I’m sure there are some exceptions, but the ones I do know of can last for generations.” 

—

Rhyming wasn’t the worst, but Ariadne had never been a big fan of Dr. Seuss. That was too much, and she preferred an occasional rhyme rather than constant ones. Which was probably rude to say and think, but she couldn’t help it. At least rhyming didn’t seen to cause her or anybody around her any actual harm. That would’ve been too much, and wouldn’t have been something that she could so easily deal with. Some of the nightmares she’d had to cause even wound up rhyming, which was a bit of a headache and had made for some less effective nightmares – something she’d have normally been thrilled about, because less effective meant less harm, but it also meant she wasn’t as quickly satiated, which meant she had to do more, which ended up meaning more harm.

But right now she was here to help Felix. Not to make things about herself and have some sort of a pity party about all of it.

“You’ve all got good thoughts.” Ariadne began. “I guess we’ve just gotta figure out how to connect the dots.” She winched. “I’d rather not go bald, if it’s all the same to you. I bet there’s something else that we can do!”

—

Okay, so some of the suggestions so far weren’t the best. Felix wasn’t really sure how going bald would help anything, and they rubbed a hand absently over their hair at the thought. Their mother used to shave their hair in the summers, but it had never looked quite right. Their brother always insisted it was because they had a lumpy head. Felix wasn’t sure if that was true. They hoped it wasn’t. “I’m not sure going bald is the best solution,” they said hesitantly, flashing Thea an apologetic smile. “I’m sure, between all of us, we can find another resolution!”

But, of course, throwing the orange wasn’t helping much, either. Felix winced as it hit the wall uselessly, falling back onto the ground without breaking the same way it always did. They weren’t even sure if breaking it would actually lift the curse. For all any of them knew, that would make things permanent. “We can’t afford to be pessimistic! How many of those generational curses are linguistic? I know we can find a good way out. There are some really smart people here, so I have no doubt. We know trying to break it won’t work. If we keep trying the same thing, we’ll all end up going beserk. Let’s try to think of things we haven’t done yet! I’ll start up a list so we don’t forget.” They pulled out their phone, typing in the notes app. Breaking the orange was at the top of the does not work list. They added a last resort list and typed bald beneath the heading. “Has anyone tried anything on their own? Let me know so I can put it into my phone!”

—

There was a brief moment that Charlie considered the bald thing, a hand shooting up to his hair, and then thought better of it. “I’d rather rhyme forever than be bald.” He decided, pulling a face. He fell silent for a long moment, wracking his brain for ideas of how to be free of the curse. Sure, it was useful to get songwriting done, but it was a nightmare when trying to have a serious conversation with someone and you’re acting like fucking Dr. Seuss. 

He frowned at the mention of generational curses and large snakes, looking at Anita a little funny before shaking his head and going back to the task at hand. Breaking the curse. “What happens if we dull its shine?” He asked, staring at the tacky object. “Surely if we find a way to tarnish it, we’ll all be fine.” Charlie scratched at his head, unsure if that was a solution to anything or just a way to take his frustrations out on the orange.

Had he tried something on his own to break the curse? He thought about it for a minute, looking over to Felix’s phone. “I tried rhyming all the words I could think of that would rhyme with red. Took a while, but… it didn’t work and I was filled with dread.”

__

Having an idea rejected was not a good feeling; having it rejected in rhyme was somehow worse. Thea slumped against her moldy pitch of wall. Yes, she’d also rather rhyme forever than be bald and yet, she couldn’t stop thinking that ever since her hair started coming back, her life was weird. Mostly that was because of the strange hair serum she insisted on but what if it was because she angered some baldness god by not respecting the bald? What if this curse was yet another warning from the bald man above? Thea sighed; probably not. Wait… Thea shot up, waving her arm in the air as though this were a classroom, but spoke despite anyone calling on her. She pointed to the older, very attractive woman. “Snickity snackity make, what’s this about a snake?” Thea leaned back again. “We’ve gone through it, if a snake can’t do it, maybe we quit?” But Felix was trying so hard, and no one wanted to rhyme, or be bald. 

“Yes.” Thea shrugged at Charlie’s red rhyming plight. “What a mess. Technically everything rhymes. I don’t have lactose digesting enzymes.” Thea shook her head. “No, what I mean to say—not to play—is that rhymes slant, are still rhymes you can grant. Words imaginary are not a rhyming scary. It is true, though it makes me blue, that the English language has…” She paused. “Words known as…” She paused again. “Unrhymable.” She sighed. “I thought I was able…to break rhyme with these words fabled…instead I became unstable.” Thea lifted a finger up. “Listen: purple. What rhymes with purple? Purple rhymes with purple. Circle is not a perfect rhyme for purple. Jimminy jemminy nurple, I still rhyme with purple.” Thea hugged herself, trying to soothe the pain of purple rhyming. “My point is that rhymes imperfect, are still rhymes you can perfect. And so what does it matter? What’s the point of all this chatter? For a curse that will never shatter?” 

—

Anita didn’t care for being pointed at, but she did grin softly at the suggestion that if a snake couldn’t solve this that it was perhaps unsolvable. A sentiment she, as the snake in question, wanted to agree with but also one she knew had to be untrue - because she knew that there had to be a way to stop this awful rhyming even if she wasn’t the one who was able to figure it out. “Why are you both trying to rhyme colors? Red, purple … and all the others. You seem to be making this harder on yourselves than this all needs to be. Don’t you see? You don’t need to be Shakeperian with the words that you say. They just need to rhyme at the end of the day. It is harder in English that is no doubt, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a solution we can’t scout out.”

It wasn’t something that she would admit aloud, but there was part of Anita that wondered if this was a permanent curse. Her ability to transform into a snake, the gift of the lamia, was technically a curse. An unbreakable one that traveled through a family for generations. She didn’t really want to have a second curse upon her forcing her to rhyme until the end of time. “Maybe if we source this orange back to its origin we’ll find a solution before we become permanent jesters. Preferably before the start of the new semester. It’s one thing to have to rhyme, but I don’t wish to feel like the lorax trying to find words that rhyme with antenna, glands, and thorax.” 

_ 

Ariadne did her best to stay mostly silent. All the rhyming was giving her more than a bit of a headache, and she wasn’t always great with words to start, so suddenly rhyming perfectly was a bit unsettling. Which, again, was maybe a rude way of looking at things, but she couldn’t quite help herself. It was important to try and think of ideas though, and she scrunched her face up, trying to think of more ideas – Thea and Felix and Anita and the dude called Charlie were all having really interesting ideas, and she wanted to do her best to at least try and contribute something.

“Maybe if we ask it to stop? I don’t know if that idea’s a flop.” But it couldn’t hurt to suggest. Ariadne was always down to ask people, animals, or – objects, in this case, to do their very best. Give them the choice, even though she wasn’t sure if this orange had a thought process – conscious – but if she could come back from the dead then maybe decorative oranges could think for themselves.

“Thankfully if I have to rhyme when I do ballet – I shouldn’t have to think all day.” Ariadne nodded, “Plié rhymes at least mostly with chassé, and so on.” So that much was a relief, that she wouldn’t sound too weird during class. Though she was sure that some way would come about to make things sound weirder than they should’ve. “Uh, we could also leave it be? Go away and come back and maybe offer another plea?”

—

This really was a mess, wasn’t it? Everyone was going back and forth about their experiences, and Felix’s feelings towards the curse were souring the more they realized that their friends were probably having less fun than they were. Charlie was full of dread, Thea was rambling about unrhymable words and baldness, Anita had classes to teach, Ariadne had ballet… but that was why they were all here, weren’t they? If they banded together, they’d surely find a way to break the curse. 

Glancing up at Ariadne, they offered a small smile. “Talking to it was one of the first things I tried,” they admitted. “I asked it to let us stop rhyming, but it never replied.” They’d tried that tactic for longer than they’d like to admit, in various different ways. Begging, pleading, making empty promises to the reflective glass… nothing had really done what they were hoping for. “I’m not sure making it dirty would do much, either. It’d probably work as well as breaking it, and we tried that for so long that I had to stop to take a breather!” Breaking it seemed mean, anyway, and Felix didn’t want to be mean. They squinted at the egg, inspecting it carefully.

“Maybe it wants us to make a specific kind of rhyme,” they suggested. “Something to do with the thing itself this time? There could be some kind of secret password. Or maybe something we need to try to say backwards? Or it could just have to do with the egg. Or maybe we have to take it to the leg!” Could the leg be related? Leg did rhyme with egg, didn’t it? Except… “I guess it doesn’t look much like an egg, when you really look at it. The shape isn’t quite right, so the word doesn’t really fit.” They turned it over in their hands with a sigh. “I guess… it’s really more of an orange. I didn’t even know they sold glass oranges, but apparently they do. Isn’t that weird to think about?” They were rambling now… and unaware that those rambles no longer rhymed. Still turning the egg over, still perplexed, and just as clueless as always.

—

There were a lot of ideas being thrown around, and Charlie wasn’t sure which one would make sense. Well, the orange egg thing wasn’t lonely, so appeasing it seemed to be out. Rhyming words with difficult words to rhyme made sense. He was so lost in thought that he tuned out most of what was going on, only coming to when Felix began speaking again, going on and on about different rhymes.

Charlie stared at Felix as he rambled on, noticing that his words slipped from rhyme to just regular speech. “Wait.” Charlie pointed at Felix, shaking his head. “Nothing rhymes with Orange! Which means…” He paused a moment. “Felix, you fucking genius!” Charlie surged forward and shook his friend by the shoulders, grinning brightly. “That’s it, nothing rhymes with orange! We’re fucking free!” He placed his hands on either side of Felix’s face and nodding his head excitedly before letting go and doing a little dance now that he wasn’t stuck rhyming everything. Now Finn wouldn’t be reduced to murdering him for his rhymes! Amazing!

__

“No, technically things do rhyme with orange.” Thea said quickly, ignoring the more celebratory aspect of Charlie’s words. “There just aren’t perfect rhymes. But what’s a perfect rhyme even mean? What does it—I mean—what I was saying was…” Thea paused, staring at the group. She wasn’t rhyming. Felix wasn’t rhyming. Charlie wasn’t rhyming. Their problem was solved! And yet, watching Charlie celebrate made her feel decidedly empty. “I guess we’re free?” Her words were back to being bland; her cadence was clumsy again. She was Thea. She frowned. What rhymed with free? “Uh, I guess we have knees? Uh, tree?” It wasn’t the same—she had to think about her words, she had to bear the ugly sound of her voice echoing in her ears. She was Thea, as she had been before all this. Rhyming wasn’t so bad, when the alternative was this. Thea forced herself to perk up. “Hey! Good job, Felix!” 

Pushing herself off the ground, she swiped dirt off her legs. “Now, what do we do about the orange?” Thea pointed at it. “It is really nice, and I think it matches with the Garfield posters, but maybe we should, like, break it or something? Or put it in a case that says ‘don’t touch unless you want to rhyme’? Or, uh, something?” Thea winced at herself; she’d gotten used to the more eloquent rhyming. 

—

For as much as Anita cared for Felix, she did not much care for this group of their friends and she cared even less for their ramblings and ideas regarding fixing this curse. Clearly there were no solutions down in this boiler room. Mentally planning a swift exit before things devolved into listening to the girl suggesting they go bald, Anita had not even noticed that people stopped rhyming until the excitable one burst across the room (not that it took much to burst across a room that size) and was exclaiming that they were free. She frowned, a bit annoyed that everyone was still talking about rhyming with colors. Hadn’t they gotten past this. 

“Tons of words rhyme with orange in Spanish,” Anita muttered, mostly to herself and whomever else in the room spoke Spanish. “Naranja. Toronja. Corrija. Esponja. Puta.”  As she listed of Spanish orange rhymes the realization of what the others were talking about settled in. Had the ridiculousness of the English language just saved them from this rhyming hell? Gross. She’d cogradulate Felix on the success later, maybe, it was their fault everyone was rhyming to begin with anyone. She certainly wasn’t going to do it in front of these strangers, though. “Did you not see what happened earlier? How do you expect to break this thing? No, no. This thing must be locked away in a box of some kind, taken to a remote location, and buried a minimum of 12 feet underground. And then the key must be destroyed.” 

_ 

“Aw, well…” but it did make Ariadne smile that Felix had already tried her idea. They were really great, and the fact that they didn’t just immediately brush her idea off. Because there were plenty of people who might’ve done that. She wouldn’t judge any of them for brushing it off, because that was just how things worked, sometimes, and there wasn’t a reason to be judgmental about it right back to them. That wasn’t kind, and she wanted to be kind whenever she could.

“That’s – we’ll think of something, I know it. We’ll figure stuff out.” Except she did a double-take, listening to everyone else. They weren’t rhyming anymore. “I sort of like blue. It’s a nice color.” Ariadne shook her head. “Sorry, was – I just wanted to try it out, to see if I’d –” she smiled. “If there was still rhyming going on. “That’s true, orange is a tricky thing – word – to rhyme with.” She signed, but nodded to Thea’s idea, and Anita’s. “We could lock it up. Just to be safe?”

—

The rhyming curse was broken, it seemed, as easily as it had been cast in the first place. Touch an orange and rhyme. Speak the word ‘orange’ at the end of your sentence and free yourself. It didn’t make a lot of sense but, then, curses rarely did, did they? Felix felt a rush of… pride, maybe, as Charlie called them a genius, even though they’d had no idea what they were doing when they broke the curse. They hadn’t meant to free anyone any more than they’d meant to curse them in the first place, but maybe intentions didn’t mean much here. Maybe it was enough that they’d broken the curse at all.

There were other matters to attend to, anyway. Felix looked to the orange skeptically, shifting their weight uncertainly between their feet. If Anita wanted to bury it, maybe they could bury it. But… “I’m not sure I can dig a hole that’s 12 feet deep. Maybe we should just, um, chuck it into the ocean or something?” Did it still have its power? If they touched it again now, would the curse start anew? It was hard to say. “I can take care of it. Um, one way or another. I can make sure no one else gets cursed.”

—

Staring at the orange with a look of hesitation, Charlie frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. “Maybe you should handle it with a pair of tongs, yeah?” He suggested, looking over to Felix with a raised brow. “I mean, can’t risk touching it again, you know?” He looked to Anita, nodding his head. “I definitely think the deeper the hole the better off we are, bury that shit away and hope no one digs it back up. The ocean is an idea too, throw it off the side of a boat Titanic style.” Charlie wiggled his brows, remembering the scene where she threw the necklace into the ocean. 

“Just don’t get yourself cursed in the process of getting rid of it. Because if you curse yourself and then throw it into the ocean, you’re fucking screwed, you know?” Charlie decided it was important enough to point that out, god forbid that poor Felix be stuck rhyming for the rest of his life.

__

“What if the fish start rhyming?” Thea asked with complete and honest seriousness. “When you throw it into the ocean? I mean, and, you gotta think about—like…” She hated not rhyming. Everything sounded harsh and wrong. “…like, pollution. There’s a lot of garbage in the ocean already, it’s not nice to dump things in it.” She frowned; maybe none of them really cared about the environment. And yes the ocean was vast, but that thing totally looked like it would just float and then what? “It’s like, you know in Oops, I did it again? They have that whole part in the music video. Which, um, yeah—“ Thea gestured to Charlie. “Yeah, like Titanic. I know that’s not your point but people find things in the ocean eventually. Someone could find it.” The attractive woman was sure that it couldn’t be broken—even if Thea thought they just needed to try harder—and Thea couldn’t argue with an attractive person. It wasn’t much better to bury it either; there would be rhyming worms. 

Thea shrugged; rhyming wasn’t the worst thing to her. “I trust you, Felix. Whatever you want to do with it, that’d be good.” She agreed more with Ariadne, and the idea of locking it up. “Even if it slightly contributes to the declining environmental state of our planet.” Felix was allowed a little climate crime, she thought. They were owed that. 

—

“Oh my god!” Anita finally exclaimed, astonished and exhausted by all of the talking and discussion about what to do and how it might make the fish start rhyming. It was like the curse was lingering, trapping them into a cycle of hypotheticals and hesitations on how to destroy the stupid orange thing. She had given a perfect solution but its feasibility was questioned. Fine. But she was not going to sit around in this room any longer and have a philosophical discussion about how throwing the orange in the ocean may impact the environmental state of the planet. 

Walking up to the egg again, Anita allowed her neck, jaw, and inner digestive tract to shift into the mojave rattlesnake. She did not know these people, and typically would not have exposed herself so obviously, but none of the questioned an orange figurine making the rhyme and they were all friends of Felix’s, in the boiler room of the Grit Pit - if there were ever a space safe from hunters this was it. Opening her mouth wide, she inhaled the orange and allowed it to travel through her body where it would hopefully, finally, meet its end. 

Anita whipped her mouth after shifting back to her human appearance, scanned the room, making eye contact with each of the individuals present. “Now that that is settled, let us never speak of this again.” She paused, waiting to see if the orange in her stomach was going to make her rhyme again, “And look at that, no compulsion for poetry.” She grabbed her bag and made her way to the exit, seeing no need for her to stick around for even a second longer. 

_ 

Ariadne found herself distracted by her relief, up until a lady partially turned into a snake? Or snake-like? Which caused her to do a fairly significant double take. “Or… that. That works too.” It did work, so long as it didn’t hurt the woman who’d eaten the orange and didn’t hurt the orange, either. Even if it had caused all of them to just keep rhyming non-stop. Wynne had found it cute, maybe even charming, but it had been a bit dizzying.

“I won’t say anything about that, I promise.” Ariadne held up her hand, Girl Scout salute and all.

“I know I could use a rootbeer float, if anybody wants to come along?” She turned to leave. “Felix, if you want, we can go shopping for decor together sometime.” Ariadne nervously shifted from the ball of one foot to the other, wishing she had on shoes that were more flexible, desperately wishing to go by her dance studio. “But we did it. That – good job, everyone!” She winced at herself.

—

Thea made a very good point. What about the environmental impact of a cursed glass orange sitting on the bottom of the ocean floor? Felix grappled with the lack of a perfect solution, heart stuttering uncertainly as they tried to come up with some magical answer that might resolve the issue with no kind of negative impact. Burying it in the dirt might find someone else digging it up, keeping it locked away always ran the risk of it being found. What options were available to them? How could they get rid of a thing that didn’t seem to be able to be destroyed without risking someone, somewhere finding it and using it for some kind of poetic evil? 

Their heart was pounding with the pressure, panic threatening to suffocate them, when Anita stepped forward. She made a quick beeline for the orange, and — she ate it. Felix blinked, watching it disappear down her throat. She spoke, not in rhyme, and Felix blinked again. The orange was gone. No one was cursed. This was the closest thing to a best-case scenario they’d gotten in a while, wasn’t it?

Their eyes scanned the group, wide and maybe a little confused, but no longer quite as stressed. Ariadne spoke up with offers of root beer floats and shopping, and Felix nodded. “Yeah,” they agreed. “Yeah! Okay! Root beer floats. I’ll pay for everyone. Um, as an apology. For the curse.” Wow, it still felt weird to not speak in rhymes. A slow smile spread over Felix’s face, in spite of everything. They sighed, content, and walked towards the door. “Next time,” they mused, leading everyone out into the hall and closing the door behind them, “I think I’ll buy a glass apple.”

[daandyli0n]

How would you do MXES if you were to rewrite it? Would it still be unable to communicate? Would it be antagonistic, or friendly?

Would it act differently around Cassie or whoever than normal?

(I have a bit of a MXES obsession right now... help... so I'm asking about it in the rewrite. I use it/its because I don't know what the fuck else to use and he/him or she/her seem to gendered.)

(i'm gonna combine this with your other ask about the Mimic if that's fine)

well...the thing is that the Pizzaplex doesn't really exist in the Rewrite. and thus MXES and the Mimic don't really exist either. RUIN instead takes place in the abandoned FNAF 2 location. there's a few plot points to explain here so that this'll make any sense:

- instead of the Pizzaplex, there is a building that is closer in size and layout (kinda) to the FNAF 2 location. it's basically the old Fredbear's Family Diner, but renovated a bit to have a few extra rooms. due to changes to SB in the Rewrite (which is a whole other post), it doesn't get destroyed at the end. hence why RUIN takes place in a different building entirely.

- you wanna know who the current CEOs of the company are? Michael and Sammy. look, after everything was said and done, the company kinda got immediately handed down to them since they were the eldest kids of the founders. they're trying their best to fix everything...including safety and reputation. people kinda trust them to hopefully do better. which, to be fair, they're doing pretty well at!

- before you ask about Mike, no he's not dead. or scooped. it's a long story, but just know things are very different on that front.

- Cassie is actually Sammy's daughter. her full name is Cassia Charlotte Emily.

- Cassie is seven around the time SB/RUIN takes place. "why is she running around a building all by herself" listen. Sammy wishes he knew. she's a curious kid, and Sammy figured out rather quickly that she was not above sneaking out at night, either. she has a smart watch that Sammy can call her from, and also so he knows where she is.

- Charlie and Cassidy (who is both CC and the Vengeful Spirit) are still around at this point. Charlie's around because she's not moving on until Cass does (and so she can protect people from William), and Cassidy is still around for Obvious Reasons.

- Malhare (our glitchy boy over here) is significantly weaker, due to only being around 2% of Afton's soul. he can't outright mind control anyone or really possess any robots, but he can use electronics to his advantage (he can appear on screens, talk, use cameras and animatronics for spying, etc.). he basically manipulated Vanessa into trying to commit child murder.

so!! onto RUIN!!

long story short:

- Cassie decides to go exploring in an abandoned Freddy’s location. Charlie decides to keep an eye on her.

- Malhare decides to give Vanny another shot at murder (after their attempt with Greg failed). he'll even make it easy and lure the kid right to her!

- You'll Never Guess Who Starts Speaking To Cassie Through Her Smart Watch

- cue a couple of hours of Malhare luring her further into the building while Charlie tries to get her to leave and go home. for obvious reasons.

- Cassie gets lured into the old Parts And Service room. She Also Gets Stabbed By Vanny.

- Charlie, now Thoroughly panicked, briefly possesses an animatronic (Mangle) to basically scare Vanny and give Cassie a chance to run.

- Cassie makes it outside and calls her dad, telling him where she is. someone who was out jogging finds her and goes Oh Fuck, You Need To Go To The Hospital.

- that's RUIN in a nutshell

so yeah...sorry, there's no Mimic or MXES in the Rewrite 😔 (the way that the plot is different in the Rewrite means that neither would make a whole lot of sense to be here)

[treezxu]

Your employee trio au is INFECTING MY BRAIN/POS SO SONCE YOUR ASKING TAKE MY QUESTIONS/lh

OKAY SO What is everybody’s dynamics? Like between Vanessa, Henry, and Will how do they all interact with each other n stuff???

Also just tell me anything abt Henry he is my bbg always <3

ALSO ALSO MIMIC??? MIMIC!! I NEED TO HEAR ABOUT THIS ANYTHING ABT THE MIMIC IN THIS (if that’s okay ofc!!)

Also also also are the afton Kids important at all? Are they just minding their own business meanwhile everything else is going to shit

Sorry for the mini-onslaught of questions your au’s all infect my brain!!! If I didn’t get more information I would explode!!!/j Anyway yeah have a good day!!!!!!!!

RAAAAAAAH IM SO HAPPY U LIKE IT!!!! GRAAAAHHH

William killed kids first and Henry made the mimic and the mimic started killing ppl (more on that in a sec) so William managed to rope him into the killing and got him to build the funtimes and Henry became interested in remnant (tho he'd never admit it) and when he threatened to kill william himself william told him shed jsut have vanessa kill charlie and ofc if william died ness would be OUT OF THERE but henry doesnt know that so he lets william go. (also vaneassa does NOT trust henry so she doesnt want william to die. shes convinced henry is jsut as bad as william but doesn't need her the way william does

they all hate each other but william and henry also used to kiss sometimes. they are horrible for each other. vanessa just wants them to kiss again so she doesnt have to constantly pry them apart.

basically after henry makes the funtimes and theres a lil accident (cough elizabeth cough) william starts hating him more because he didnt implement things the way william asked. the claw was not supposed to kill the kid, but rather stuff em in the robots stomach hatch so william could kill them and put them somewhere else (he didnt want the funtimes to be possessed bc that causes problems. he knew how possession worked by now and he did not want it happening to the murder bots) but the claw was fucked up and killed elizabeth in the stomach hatch

but now cbby is possessed, cassidy is finally coming around, michael is suspicious of william, and luis is dead. rip luis ig.

sammy charlie and michael are th emost important kids in this! they investigate the murders and stuff because michael "finds it interesting" (knows his dad is doing it and wants to get him caught) which ends... badly. for charlie specifically.

so henrys PISSED AS FUCK because williams STUPID FUCKING DOG (vanny) jsut FUCKING KILLED HIS DAUGHTER and he is SOOOO PISSED but he cant kill william bc again this trio is incredibly dependent on one another to stay out of jail

ALSO MIMIC MIMIC MIMIC OAKY SO! Henry built the mimic. the mimic saw william kill a kid and then followed him adn saw vanessa kill her dad and was like OH! NEAT! and then ofc william put it to use as an endo ripper and it ended up way more violent than it was supposed to be and also way smarter. whoops.

so now they have WAAAY MORE DEATHS THAN INTENDED, WILLIAMS RESEARCH IS FUCKED, AND MICHAEL KNOWS 100% THAT WILLIAM IS BEHIND IT AND TECHNICALLY HAS PROOF TO INCARCERATE HIM. but william is a smart guy. michael is close with sammy and evan (he became kind of paranoid after liz and charlie died and didnt want evan to die too bc then hes all alone with his dad and for michael that is fucking terrifying so hes not NICE per se but he wont hurt evan or put him in danger and is protective of both of them)

so basically the timeline goes

william kills kids -> sees vanessa kill her dad -> the mimic starts going batshit -> henry gets roped into this shit and makes the funtimes -> liz dies -> charlie dies -> mimic is free and causing horrible mayhem -> everything is on fire -> the end (except not its a work in progress)

[sholangagaga]

Gregory is Michael Afton Theory

Bonus (4/4)

Gregory being Michael allows Mike to have a better dad.

The save stations have Helpy on them, and Michael knows Helpy from Pizza Sim.

If Gregory is C.C, shouldn’t it show the Fredbear plush?

Michael has a chance to beat PeePaw up with a crowbar.

After working to stop his father for so long, Michael deserves this.

Gregory doesn’t have to be an animatronic for this theory!

Michael could have been reincarnated or something similar.

If not an animatronic, Michael gets his organs back. He could eat again.

Link to Google Doc with entire theory in once place & Game Theory's Gregory theories: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1c2jvwePYHwvmc1DoaqY9qPpczOL9njJL9jiH1tN0qtw/edit?usp=sharing

I didn't reply to the first pieces since you linked the doc here BUT full analysis under the cut

So I'm gonna start by saying this is one of the strangest (in a good way) and most interesting SBB theories I've ever been prosed. Honestly if I was someone who wasn't so ingrained in the lore due to my AUs, I would probably believe this as near infallible. It's THAT well thought out (And this is coming from someone who doesn't really Like Game Theory cause they've been known to kinda pull rabbits from hats, if you know what I mean)

Now I will be overly analytical and pick this apart as my neurons fire a mile a minute

Physical Appearance

While I can see the resemblance, half of the FNAF canon roster is either brown haired or hinted to have dark hair (excluding some of the blonde Aftons and also William, depending on who you ask)

Most of the canon characters are also big fans of Foxy (See Phone Guy for example; I'm pretty sure Foxy is/was Scott's favorite back in the original games. He was also terrified of Bonnie funny enough)

Personality

The Gregory being agitated thing is true, but also, can you REALLY blame him? His entire situation is pretty stressful, I think I'd be a real asshole in that premise as well. Michael's sarcasm has been a known point for sure, the dude canonically loves soap operas he's probably the snarkiest dude around (and I love him for it)

All of this tick marks tbh are just sorta occupational. Gregory not trusting anyone makes sense because he's an orphan who apparently was treated poorly in the streets. OF COURSE he doesn't really like adults, least of all adults in uniform. Michael is paranoid at work because he works in a setting where the robots are trying to kill him

The destroying the bots thing is, again, very understandable. Gregory spent the night trying to survive, he could care LESS how the robots feel. He wants them to stop trying to kill him! Same with Michael, they've fucked him over and its not like theyre living things. Getting rid of them wouldnt be much of a moral dilemma

Storyline

Gregory knows that Freddy has a stomach hatch because its common knowledge. His stomach hatch is for birthday cakes, which means it's perfectly logical for him to know it exists. In the same vein, he would know hiding inside it would be dangerous. Its meant for cake, not kids! Gregory was bold to even attempt it imo but he's a very reckless kid

The family one is SO GOOD but also, unfortunately, can easily be debunked as a basic voiceline for lost children. It's a super mall, children probably get lost all the time. The best way to lure a child (according to William) is to mention their family/things they like. It worked for him, it would work for fan favorite robots

I think thee reason why Gregory seems so adult is because, well, it IS a scripted game. But everything Gregory does is basically spoonfed to him by Freddy, so I don't think it's more so that he's overly smart or working on prior knowledge, its just hes good at context clues and following instructions

I have my own gripes about the Parts and Service system, but for game sake Gregory only succeeds cause failing means death. But yeah all my homies hate P&S

In universe, it would make sense that Gregory hates the Franchis cause....Fazbear Ent fucked up ALOT for a VERY LONG TIME. Most people still hate them, as evident from when HandUnit/Dread Unit just sorta always mentions "forget the past us" and shit like that. It's like being in our universe and hating Amazon for Bezos. Same concept, totally understandable.

The van thing is just funny, I love that one. Little baby driving heehee

My biggest problem with the theory is the gaps. While we don't know FOR SURE when everything takes place, the general consensus is FNAF 3 takes place in 2020 (and if you're one of the Michael is the Fnaf 3 protag believers, that's pretty significant) and SUPPOSEDLY, Pizzeria Simulator most likely takes place between 2023-onward, with Security Breach really close on the heels of it since It's built over the Pizza Place where Henry, William, and Michael all initially die. If Gregory is as old as most fans assume/agree (11-9) then there's no way he can be a reincarnation of Michael cause Michael didn't actually die/lost his remnant until Pizzeria Simulator, and then SB takes place less than 5 or so years after that (According to most theories)

I think its way more plausible that Gregory is a reincarnation of Evan/Crying Child and FREDDY is Michael, because not only does that give us a way better theory premise but it also closes out the Afton family storyline, with the two sons teaming up against their father. Gregory being different personality wise to Evan/the Crying child could easily be explained by Evan getting corrupted by Cassidy's negative remnant before she forced him out during the events of UCN/FNAF3. Could also just be the Afton sass if you wanted to be really dig into it. I could probably go on forever about that theory since I've been thinking about it for a while now

BUT in conclusion while I really like this theory, there's too many holes to really convince me to latch to it like I do other theories. Then again, it IS just a theory. A game theory

[helluva-hurricanes-blog]

I don’t really talk about my fnaf au much so I wanna talk about my canons in it that are vastly different from actual canon. This one is specifically about William (ofc, I don’t have an obsession with him). I think you’ll find it interesting because he’s a lot different from canon William, the cold and heartless bastard that he is.

William ISNT a bad dad. Everybody makes him out to be super abusive and it’s canon, but I like it better this way obvs. In my au, he made the fun times originally in the image of his family. Baby for Elizabeth, Ballora for his wife, Funtime Freddy for the crying child, and Funtime foxy for Michael. In my au, his wife, who I’ve named Isabelle, died from a sickness and he was very distraught about it, so that’s why he changed what they were about and started to murder- to try and find out how to bring people back to life. And then, well, his other 2 kids died so that’s why kids died... Anyway! Back to my point- he’s a good dad, just a super workaholic. He gets consumed in it and also has a hard time with empathy so it’s harder to relate to his kids, but he tries. In my au, he’s only a murderer to bring his family back (Michael still ended up hating him because why would William tell him what he’s doing?)

In canon, especially from the books, it looks like he’s super poor? In referencing Silver Eyes. Like why? He makes robots and had a company! He should be at least decently wealthy? Well, in my au he had a huge company, kinda like Apple or something. Just really profitable. He Invented robots, and makes several other things, like household appliances, cars, etc. it’s actually Henry who was poor and William helped him financially with his idea. (Also William handles most of the finances for fredbears and freddys but I think that’s actually canon? Idk)

William didn’t graduate Highschool. Yanno those famous people, who just weren’t cut out for school but still ended up famous? Yeah, I feel like William was kinda too smart for school and dropped out to become an entrepreneur. He seems like the guy to like high risk high reward plans.

William had a terrible family life, which is why he ended up the way he did. This is no means a “sob story to explain away everything he did” head canon, just a “this is why he is the way he is”. His father was terrible and didn’t love him, abused him emotionally and physically. That’s another reason he dropped out- to get away from THAT asshole, who in my story is named Abraham. Abraham Afton

Henry and William are both really good artists, just Henry’s more creative with crazy ideas and William is just good at it.

William had naturally curly hair, which in turn means Michael has naturally curly hair. So something people never really talk about is that the robots thought Michael was William, which made me think that they look almost exactly alike. Michael’s silhouette has curly or poofy hair, so Williams does. He just tries to straighten it out (yes this man straightens his hair) and Michael doesn’t give a fuck. It’s why I draw Williams hair wavy, because he can’t fight it. Also Michael had purple eyes in sister location, even tho ennard has blue, which makes me think his natural eye colour is purple, which means Williams eye colour must also be purple. I feel like the other 3 had green eyes.

William is kinda seriously a prissy boi. He straightens his hair, shaves his legs (and other parts) and has a kinda feminine demeanor. Feminine hands, very smol, sits either super feminine or man spreads like there’s no tomorrow.

William had a really good stage performance with Henry. Henry was good, but William took it to the next level. He actually used springbonnie the way it was meant to be used before he killed people, and he did it well.

So that’s all, I can’t really give anymore away about it without spoiling my lore. Speaking of which, I’m gonna make comics of my au. I actually wrote it in a story like form but it kinda sucks ass like really bad cuz it was from a while ago, but I still like my concepts and not my actual writing. It might take a super long time because I wrote like 5 books (yes, I was super dedicated) and 3 of them were like 30 chapters long. I didn’t finish the other 2. So if you like look forward to it I guess? I would love it if you asked questions because I really wanna share my au with you guys since I’ve been working on it since 2015, when like fnaf 2 or fnaf 3 came out 😳 it’s been a long ass time 😅

[cherrytdatt]

what a shame we're fucked in the head (au)

Pairing: peter parker x reader

Word count: ~1.7k

Summary: peter and y/n always find it easier to be fwb than assuming their feeling for each other 

A/N: this was in my drafts for the longest time and i'm just getting rid of it. this is an au but they are still superheroes.

Warnings: drug use and mention of sex

"What up, loser?" you heard a familiar voice say behind you. You turned your head, recognizing his silhouette. "Abandoning the party?" Peter chuckled, sitting by your side on the edge of the building.

"Making my own party," you said with a weak smile, raising your hand that held a joint you lazily made a few minutes ago.

"Oh! And didn't call me?" he asked with an offended look.

"Sorry. I thought you were having fun inside," you said, passing the cigar to him.

"Sure. Cause seeing Banner and Rogers fighting over some mysterious hallucinogen that Banner's dad accidentally made on the lab is so much more fun than relaxing and talking to you," he took a pull of the cigar, without looking at you. You stared at his side profile, admiring every inch of his face. His eyes that were shining with the city lights, the small smirk that never left his face, the sharp angle his jaw made even when he was relaxed, and the curls that fell plainly on his forehead.

You and Peter had a lot in common, you were Stephen Stranger's daughter, and Peter was adopted by Tony Stark at the age of three. As everyone knows, those two were the most rich and arrogant superheroes to walk on this earth or any other planet. So you two understood how hard your life was growing up. Don't get me wrong, both were great parents, but they didn't think twice before pressuring you two to be the best amongst all the other superheroes' kids. Besides that, there were the absent parents, and all the ego fights that you two had to deal with daily.

"That thing's dangerous," you said, shaking your head. "Banner and Rhodes took that last week, and they blacked out for forty eight hours after almost jumping from the top of the Stark Tower!" Peter handed you the cigar.

"That would make my dad so happy," Peter said sarcastically, making you laugh, just thinking about the bad press that two superheroes' kids jumping from the most expensive building in New York would cause for Tony Stark. "These kids are crazy," he finished when your laugh faded out.

All the Avengers kids formed some type of clan that was known for excessive partying, drugs, and doing crazy shit around town that usually caused some sort of damage physical or financial. After all, be raised by babysitters while your parents fought against aliens and robots wasn't easy. You, Peter, Shuri, and Magni, Thor's son, were the only ones that tried to follow your parents' steps and become superheroes, but that didn't keep you from partying and doing crazy things sometimes. The difference was, You, Peter, and Shuri usually do it without drawing attention, and Magni did it on other planets.

"Cause you and I are not damaged by our dads 'jobs', right?" you looked at him.

"I rather not talk about it," Peter joked, and you laughed. "So, how is your life?" he asked, staring at the city view from Will Maximoff's penthouse, where the party was happening.

"Same old. Studying and being in the lab for hours, drinking, and smoking weed the rest of the time, sometimes studying and smoking at the same time. I don't even know anymore," you took a pull from the joint. Even though your dad's power was like some type of magic, he always made you study very hard and you two worked on your lab developing nanotechnology and other things to help the Avengers. Sometimes you worked with Mr. Bruce, Shuri, or even Tony although he wasn't your dad's favorite. "And you?"

"I'm spending my days at the lab, improving my suit," he shrugged. "And waiting for you to call me," he finished, looking at you, and you chocked a little.

"Waiting for me to call you?" you coughed. "You have my number. You can call me," you said, looking at him.

"I'm always the one that calls you," he said nonchalantly.

"And?" you asked, holding a smile.

"A man gets tired..." he scratched the back of his head, shrugging and looking away from you.

"You know I don't mind you calling me," you stated. "And you also know I'm not gonna get in the middle of your commitment issues," your voice was lower.

"I didn't have a commitment issue with you," Peter defended himself.

You two were more than friends, and that was clear to everyone that had eyes. Everything started on the night of your nineteenth birthday. Your parents were out of town, and you decided it was a good idea to close an entire club in New York to have the biggest party you could think of. After using almost every drug in the building, you still felt alone, and the only person you could think about was Peter. He was at the party, but you barely saw him. At 2 a.m. you called him, and you finally hooked up. But, unlike what everyone was thinking, your 'relationship' didn't go further than occasionally making out, sleeping together and then you two wouldn't talk for two or three weeks after that. You, obviously, liked him, but Peter never dated any girl for more than two weeks, so you came to the conclusion that, even with your feelings, this 'friends with benefits' relationship was the best you could do.

"Yeah, right!" you laughed. "And that bullshit you pulled out last year was your way of committing," you joked, remembering the day he showed up in your father's cabin, knowing you would be there alone, and left the next morning without saying a word.

"You know why I did that," he sighed.

"I honestly don't," you chuckled, looking at him, waiting for his excuse.

"You told me you wanted to be alone! I was there just to make sure you were okay and then did what you want," he explained, his hands moving around anxiously.

"Are you stupid or what?" you got up, not believing how someone so smart could be so oblivious.

"What?" he asked, confused with your reaction.

"I wanted to be alone with you, dumbass. That's why I texted you my exact location," you said, pointing at him.

"Oh!" he was honestly surprised, his eyes widened in realization.

"You are dumb..." you concluded, the corners of your lips going up, forming a smile.

"I'm not dumb! I'm just..." Peter got up.

"Hard to commit," you said, knowingly.

"Oh, shut up!" he held a laugh. "You are not that great either. I lost count of how many times you ghosted me or avoided me," he accused you, and your eyes avoided his because you knew you the times you ran away from him.

"Do you...uh..." you gulped, afraid of the damage that your next words could cause. Peter studied your expression, knowing you were struggling with your thoughts. You took one more pull from the joint, trying to gather all your courage. "Do you think we will work..." you glanced at him for a split second. "I mean... in the future... you think we could work... if we tried?" you stuttered, regret already filling your chest.

"I don't like parties, you know?" Peter said, and you looked at him. Half confused and half cursing yourself for asking anything. Was he changing the subject just to avoid the question? "I mean... I like them sometimes but not every weekend," he said, looking at the buildings around.

"It's not what it looks like since I only bump into you at parties," you said with a weak smile.

"That's because I go to all the parties you go," he confessed. "When you're out of town or just at your house, I spend my night working in the lab or fighting small crimes in town," he glanced at you. You looked at him, not fully understanding what he was saying. "What I meant is..." he stared at you, and you felt the air being pulled out of your lungs by his intense eyes. "I really like you... and I hope we can work things out when you're ready," he smiled.

"Hey, Parker!" William Maximoff called, and both of you looked at him. "It's your turn on the beer pong," he yelled.

"I'm coming," Peter laughed at him, and the boy walked back inside, laughing, with some girl you didn't know, pulling him by his hand. "I'm going in..." he told you in a low voice, and you looked at him again.

"Yeah... okay," you muttered, the things he said still being processed in your head.

He stared at you, and you felt in his eyes that he was pondering on doing something. Peter took a step towards you, his face a few inches from yours, and you looked at him, feeling his hot breath in your mouth. You parted your lips, already anticipating what was coming. Peter's hand came to your face, touching gently your cheek, his eyes staring deeply into yours. You moved your face up, finally ending the distance between you two. You moved your hands to his neck, tugging at his hair, feeling his soft lips against yours, and he held your waist with his free arm. The kiss started slow but soon became needy and eager, your tongues colliding and moving in synch, traveling through every inch of each other's mouth. You captured his bottom lip between your teeth, causing him to moan softly, his hand going down to squeeze your butt. 

"I really missed you," he whispered against your lips.

"Peter..." you started you a hesitant voice.

"I have to go," he said before you could say anything else. Peter took a step back, glancing between the party and you. His arms left your body, and you felt cold without his touch. He gave you a small smile, putting his hands in his pockets, walking away from you. You turned slowly to look at the buildings, not ready to go back to the party yet.

"Y/n," you heard Peter call, and you turned to look at him. "Call me when you decide to go home." he smiled and grabbed the doorknob. You nodded at him, and he ran his hand through his hair. "I'm gonna kick your ass, Will," he yelled when the noise from the party invaded your ears, and then everything was silent again.

You stared at the buildings, feeling the fear from loving Peter more than you loved anyone else in your life invade you.

[notquitechaotic]

so I’m back online, never thought I would be blogging again but here I am after having to deal with man children and their audacity. and y’know, what better way to deal with yet another misadventure with the male species other than bitching about them?

given that this happened like a day ago, I feel like I’ve cooled down enough to try and talk about it. 

screenshots will be included but I would have to blur out the guy’s face (sadly) because of POHA

for some context, I matched with this guy named William (”Will”) on Bumble. I want to say that things kind of went well at first and we exchanged telegram usernames and started talking there instead.

(edit: he has “changed” his alias and is now “Wilford”)

first red flag was the reason he gave after he unmatched with me.

and if anything, I’ve learnt that most of the time when guys like him say that a girl is crazy or “batshit crazy” without elaborating, it’s mostly the guy who is the problematic one and because the girl isn’t reacting the way they want the girl to, the girl would then be “crazy” to fit their “I’m a nice guy” narrative.

I let the matter slide, and I moved on with my day because it was none of my business too. and everything was kind of fine until he accepted my follow request on Instagram.

I’m not that great when it comes to remembering faces but it’s not that bad to the point where I would forget a person’s face completely. So when I realised that he looked different, I asked him.

“my hair diff only” were the exact words he sent so I asked him to sent the photos that were posted on the app. 

this was the part where he fucked up lol

I asked him who the person was because when I tapped into the photo of the guy who is in a sauna, it was a screenshot of someone else’s Instagram account.

he said that it was his good friend and they “agreed to exchange photos” (honestly I don’t believe that for a second, the photo he sent is of his friend, blurred it all out in case someone recognises it)

all the while being pushy to meet irl.

if anything, I absolutely hate it when a person lies to me (because I find things out eventually) and I hate it when they are pushy (in this scenario, this guy just flat out reeks of desperation)

at this very point of time, my impression of him hasn’t been all that great, I was starting to feel really uncomfortable, I just didn’t think it would get worse (but I was wrong)

screenshots from here on out have the top cut off because it shows his phone number and again for privacy issues *cough* POHA *cough*, it has to be cropped out.

on hindsight I should have just set the record straight and say that I wasn’t comfortable meeting him instead of trying to imply it because I wasn’t explaining myself right and it just flew right past him.

“don’t you realise texting can be deceiving” and “some is my friend some is mine, I told you honestly already” are two very contradicting sentences. and again, he was being pushy about meeting.

I probably shouldn’t have used “weird” should have outright say that it was sus, but I would say that I was okay/ somewhat comfortable with the idea of meeting him until I realised that he wasn’t being honest. if he can’t even be honest about his own identity, then whose to say that he wouldn’t have ill intentions? so yeah I would say that me being uncomfortable meeting him is justified.

but this is the part where shit hit the fan because he started showing his true colours when he was being met with rejection:

“there’s nothing to be scared about” again, he wasn’t being truthful of his own identity, I think it is fair for me to overthink and be afraid that he has ill intentions and I’m just trying to protect myself. I don’t think I’m wrong for that lol

you can say “go google and stop ignoring the facts” but he can’t even try to link his sources. errr, when Dr Inna Kanevsky roasts people who use psychology to back to talk about things, she includes sources to support what she says.

again, made the mistake of not telling him outright that I wasn’t comfortable but if you scroll up a little bit to the screenshot where he made the contradictory sentence, I did try to imply that I was no longer comfortable meeting him.

he is trying to act all smart and shit but he can’t imply or at the very least, try to infer

“because it’s wrong (referring to him invalidating how I feel)”“how you feel is plain false” hello? I’m not a robot. and I’m pretty sure that there are paid and experienced psychologists and therapists, not just in Singapore but around the world, who would beg to differ with your statement. no one is wrong to feel the way they feel.

yes I did say that I would be more comfortable texting, but I did make it clear that I’m not comfortable meeting him.

“doesn’t change how you were wrong” “you are completely wrong” ok so feeling uncomfortable meeting a guy who was displaying signs that he may potentially be dangerous is wrong. noted with thanks.

(don’t ask me about the copy cat thing though cause I deadass have no clue why that was being sent to me also lol)

I rejected his call, and by then I’ve blocked him because I was too tired to deal with his shit. And I thought it would be the last I heard of him until I swiped down on my notifications  and saw that this crazy (he deserves this label by now) called me 5 times 

and iMessaged me instead because he couldn’t reach me on Telegram anymore

(what was in the screenshot he sent to me)

“no wonder take so long to graduate”

“lowlife vermin”

“pathetic”

“retard”

“bitch”

“pathetic piece of shit”

(this guy was an NUS student btw)

but I just want to rebut the thing where he said that “it’s a fact you can’t get to know someone by text”

because just based on his outburst and the way he acted and reacted to things, I can kind of tell what kind of a person he is and what his attitude and personality is like:

- he is egoistical (obviously)  “I’m a nice guy” type person, can’t handle rejection

- most likely toxic (based on how verbally abusive he was, I wouldn’t be surprised if he verbally abuses a person to bring down their self-esteem before making it seem like the person can not live without him, and thereby trapping the person in a toxic relationship)

- disrespectful (especially towards women)

- and based on everything, he is most likely insecure 

update: found out who he is, and this isn’t the first time he’s done this shit and it pains me that I can’t expose his identity

[life-is-no-sugarlicking]

OC Interview

because i got told that this totally counts at practice.

So it’s Mikeys turn. :>

What is your name?

“I’m the most badass dude you will ever meet - the legendary big Mike! But you can call me however ya want, hon’”

How old are you?

* Mike tries to start counting his fingers under the table but stops after he run out of fingers* “... eeeerm age is just a shitty number. I’m in the best years of my life. I always be.”

What do you look like?

“ What do you mean? Can’t see it? I’m fucking handsome, man. Open you shittey eyes before you gonna lose them. I look so good, people start crying when they look at me man. Yeah, I would cry too if I would ever cry. But i never cry because i’m not such a loser. Better believe it before i make you believe.”

Where are you from? Where do you live now?

“Shit on the past. I live in Nuka World now and damn, the Raiders there should be happy about it. They would be totally lost without me.” 

What was your childhood like?

“Wanna unlock my dramatic past? Time for some caps, dude.”

What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions?

“Hah! Everyone loves me!”

Tell me about your best friend.

“Fritsch is a loser, but he is the best loser that i ever met. He is really okay, when he isn’t busy with it to complain about everything I do. Being jealous at me must be a horrible feel.”

Do you have a family? Tell me about them!

*for a moment he bites on his lip - he has a hurt look, but waves off quickly* “Fuck off with your fucking family talk okay? Nobody gives a shit about it.”

What about a partner or partners?

“Right now? I’m with the best damn woman i have ever met. She is smart, dangerous and has the best ass in the whole commonweath. Ilya is.. ..... .okay. Okay? OKay-- --- what do ya mean? My cheeks are red? Say such bullshit again, and your nose bleeds red. Mike Williams never blush, asshole.”

Who are your enemies, and why?

“I call them hater. Of course people are jealous of me. But after time you learn to deal with it.”

Have you ever heard of The Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them?

“They think they look badass with their shiny power armors but they will never look as badass as i do, so they spent their freetime with crying and playing army.”

What about The Enclave?

“....what’s that? something to eat? I’m hungry.”

How do you feel about Super Mutants?

“I heard RedEyes mom is one but i never saw a female Super Mutant. Do you think their tiddies are....?” *Mike forms big breats with his hands and looks thoughtful to the side* “.. i should ask him later.”

What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in?

“Okay, imagine this - all my friends are on the ground, I’m the only Raider who is still on his feet and hundreds of Gunners surrounded us. Some of them were riding Deathclaws and Mirelurksqueens The Overboss was like “oh no, Mike you are our only hope.” but i stayed cool, even after i noticed that i was out of ammo. So i fought them all with my bare fists. Like BAM and BOOM--” *Mike starts to wave around wildy with his fists and gets lost for the next ten minutes into his totally true story - the only sound he makes are pretty bad fighting sound effects*

Have you ever fought a Deathclaw?

*he starts to laugh - first horrible played but it turns quickly into a panic hysterical laugher* “D-Deathclaws... fear me, o-okay?”

Do you like fighting?

“Nobody has a chance against me! Reminding these losers is the best part.”

What’s your weapon of choice?

“My Junk-Jet. Or my Minigun. Big weapons are fun and scare the losers. Sometimes my enemies shit theirself before the fight had even started.

How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?)

“Nothing can kill me. Not even the death himself, man.”

Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them?

“Hiding under the ground is for cowards.”

How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you?

“Don’t tell me Fritsch sent you to tell me I shouldn’t go out shirtless when a radstorm started. I do what ever i want, he should give it up.”

What’s your favorite wasteland critter?

“My Rat. His name is Cu---Trash.”

What’s your least favorite wasteland critter?

“Deathclaws. Not... that i don’t like Cupcake or something. Just don’t tell Roy from it, ‘kay?”

How do you feel about robots?

“Are great for Spare parts.”

How many caps do you have on you right now?

“Depends how much you have in your pockets --- what? Don’t look so suprised i thought it’s clear that i gonna steal them.”

Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla?

“I drink pretty much everything, duh.”

Do you do chems?

“Mostly Jet, sometimes what ever i got into my hands..”

Do you ever think about the Pre-War world?

“I heard they had a zoo with beasts, bigger than Deathclaws. Is that true?”

What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently?

“F-Fuck off!”

What’s your biggest achievement? Or what do you hope to achieve?

“Everything I do is great. One day i gonna be rich and i have my own harem or something. Not that i couldn’t have it now, i just wanna take everything slow.”

What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world?

“Right now i wanna have something to eat and i want that my friends give me something. That counts right?”

[elizadoolittlethings]

MG - The Man Behind The Genius

(via Get Ready to Love Mark Gatiss)

“Can we just sit here and watch this Spider-Man cartoon?” Mark Gatiss smiles slyly but it’s not clear if he’s completely kidding. We’re sitting on a couch in The Museum of the Moving Image in Queens, New York where a small retro-TV is playing an appropriately retro episode of Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends. “I love cartoons,” Gatiss tells me. “Did you ever see the old Star Trek cartoon? It’s brilliant. It’s basically like season four.”

The guy sitting next to me might look like Mycroft Holmes, but he barely sounds like him at all. This guy is softer, more childlike, more down to talk about whatever, so long as those things are James Bond, Sherlock Holmes, Doctor Who, superheroes, Star Trek… In short, if you meet Mark Gatiss, you want to be best friends with him instantly.

For the uninitiated: Mark Gatiss is the co-creator (with Steven Moffat) of Sherlock. He’s also an actor IN Sherlock as Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock’s  snippy, brilliant older brother. He’s written for Doctor Who numerous times, including last season’s “Robots of Sherwood,” as well as the classic Dickens 2005 episode “The Unquiet Dead.” He’s got a recurring role on Game of Thrones as Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank, but has roots in the famous British comedy The League of Gentlemen. In short: he’s done some things that are beyond impressive.

Our chat is talking place two hours ahead of The Museum of the Moving Image’s special screening of the Doctor Who episode “Sleep No More,” which is the one Mark wrote for this season. And yes, I can call him Mark, because he told me to. Glancing over at my open-notebook, full of my chicken-scratch  questions, he spies the word “Gatiss,” at the top of the page complete with a frantic double underline. “Don’t say ‘Moffat’ or ‘Gatiss,’” he coos. “Say ‘Mark.’”

To say Mark Gatiss is disarming would be an understatement similar to saying Sherlock Holmes is smart. It’s not that Mark is disarming, it’s like you and he have been exchanging dog-eared paperbacks for years and this conversation about the animated Star Trek from the 70s is old hat. After we talk about how great the writing is on that cartoon Trek, I ask him if he’d ever want to write for Star Trek.

“The new series?!!“I love Star Trek, so yeah, I wouldn’t say no. Simon Pegg’s writing the new one [Star Trek Beyond]. So yeah. You never know!”

Is there anything else—any other established universe—Mark Gatiss would like to write for other than Star Trek?

“Nooo…No. I want to do something new. But it’s so hard to get it off the ground. I’ve said this many times, and it’s absolutely true. That there is a reason why people revisit brands that are so familiar; it’s because they’re so familiar! And it’s getting harder and harder to try and convince people to take a punt at something new. So, that is absolutely vital. Otherwise, there’s no blood in it—and I say this knowing that I’m associated with two of the biggest reboots in history—and people will always revisit Sherlock Holmes. And I think that now that Doctor Who has really returned after its absence, Doctor Who is imperishable. It will probably stop again one day and then come back again, because that’s what it does. Like anything. But, I would love to do something that people look back on fondly, because it was a brand new thing. But it’s terribly difficult—A. to think of it! B. To get it off the ground. What is the new thing! Sherlock Holmes himself said there is nothing new under the sun!”

What if Steven Moffat left Doctor Who? Would Mark still write for Doctor Who?

“Of course I’d still write for Doctor Who! If they’d have me! It’s a continuing honor and thrill! I would say that unlike Russell [Davies] saying ‘that’s me, done,’ I think that if Steven were to leave, he’d still come back after a few years and do another one. Because he loves it. I mean, Russell loves it too! But, I think Russell saw it as his take on it and that was it. Which is a very grown-up way of moving on. But I can’t resist the urge.”

When you’re hanging with Mark Gatiss, who wants to be a grown up anyway?

Would Mark want to be the showrunner of Doctor Who if Steven Moffat left?

“The truth is I know how incredibly demanding it is. And one of things that makes it very difficult to see is the sort of casual attacks Steven has had to put up with over the past few years. It’s incredibly hard work and they care so much. It’s a 24 hour job. And when people say ‘why can’t you make more episodes!?’ I mean, the episode we’re watching tonight: I was sent the final effect shot the day before I left for New York. That episode is just complete and it’s on this Saturday. There are so many things to consider. But to answer your question, I know how hugely demanding [showrunning] is, but also how hugely rewarding it would be. It’s a huge, life-changing decision. I’m an actor and a writer. I couldn’t act if I did it. Because I wouldn’t have time. The only thing I could act in would possibly be Doctor Who. WAIT A MINUTE! I’ll DO IT!”

At this, Mark begins giggling like a madman, throwing his head back and repeating “I’ll do it! This will effect my whole life? HA HA HA HA! I’LL DO IT!!”

The comedian, the sketch-comedy writer version of Mark Gatiss has emerged! Fittingly, we switch our conversation to the importance of humor in his writing. How and why is he just so damn funny? Is Doctor Who and Sherlock nothing without humor?

“Humor is fundamental. I couldn’t agree with you more. There’s a fundamental misunderstanding of why we love these shows. Essentially from slightly humorless people who thinks it needs to be po-faced all the time. The man who created the Daleks—Terry Nation—was Tony Hancok’s writer. He was a very, very funny man who could also write great science fiction. That’s what Russell is. That’s what Steven is. What I am. Lots of people. Humor is bound-up in the DNA of [Doctor Who]. ‘Robots of Sherwood,’ for instance, is a straightforward romp. But, you should no more criticize a show for being too funny—what’s wrong with too funny, anyway? You hear that a lot. Someone says ‘it’s too funny.’ WHAT? Too funny? Would your prefer it was moderately funny? I’d go for much too funny any day. That doesn’t mean you’re messing with the format, that you’re spoiling it. And if you look back at the history of the show, that’s what it’s always been at its best. It doesn’t get much grimmer than “Genesis of the Daleks.” But of course there’s humor. Of course there is. It might be pitch black, but it’s there. And sometimes the level is pitched one way and sometimes the other. But to me, it’s absolutely quintessential to Doctor Who, it’s a fun show.”

Though I would have loved to talk to Mark for hours only about Sherlock Holmes and his favorite stories and which movies are his personally, secret preferences, I decide that since we’re already best friends, we’ve had that conversation in some alternate world. Instead, I’m interested in continuity. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle flippantly didn’t care about continuity. Does Mark Gatiss care about continuity?

“Because we live in such an overly-examined age, in which everything is easily consumed and spat-out, everything has taken on a ludicrous level of importance. If Conan Doyle hadn’t had his famously lax attitude toward continuity, we wouldn’t be able to have the fun we have. From speculating on the strange fact that Professor Moriarty and his brother have the same Christian name, that Watson’s war-wound moves about, that Mary calls John “James”! I’m sure people did write to [Doyle] and complain, because there were always fans! But the thing is, it’s fine. My attitude is this: get it right if you can because if you’re perversely getting it wrong, it looks careless. But. Absolutely frankly: if someone came up with an idea for Doctor Who that flatly contradicted something that happened in 1967, fuck it. Of course fuck it! Someone once said to me ‘six months ago is ancient history,’ in terms of television. That’s true, because you’re talking about the general audience and not the fan audience. AND if you flatly contradicted something that happened in 1967, the fans would find a way of explaining it. I remember—in talking about Star Trek—someone telling me that reason William Shatner has so much eye shadow on in “Journey to Babel”—more than ever—is because Star Fleet officers are allowed to wear a certain amount of make-up during formal ceremonies! WHAT?!! I mean you don’t have to explain it! The Master was a snake at one point!”

Looking smooth, and talking smooth are something Mark Gatiss knows how to do, and that’s partially because he’s a big Bond fan. Could secret government mastermind Mycroft exist in the Bond universe?

“He does exist in the Bond universe! We made an explicit reference. In ‘His Last Vow,’ I say ‘As my esteemed colleague is fond of pointing out, what the country needs sometimes is a blunt instrument. Which is M! From the books! And of course I’d love to write a Bond film. It’s the one that’s eluded me. Me and Steven we both wanted to do Bond. I did From Russian With Love on radio!”

As our time comes creeping up on us, and the Spider-Man cartoon winds down, I ask Mark if there’s a world for a gay Bond? What about a straight Sherlock? The last one gets a guttural laugh from him, and we launch into the territory of diversity among established characters and fandoms.

“The point is to me, none of these things should be done because anyone feels pressure to tick a box. A show like Doctor Who has brilliantly celebrated gay people, incidentally, which to me is proper progress. But I think personally, there should absolutely be a female Doctor, a black Doctor, an Asian Doctor, but it’s because someone comes along who is absolutely indisputably the person for the job. With James Bond, it’s a literary antecedent. If you were for reasons of box-ticking made James Bond gay, that’s not James Bond. By all means have a gay spy! I’ve written about one myself! [Mark’s Lucifer Box novels] If you want to do a gay British Spy, adapt my books! That’s my advice. Do a franchise based on my books!”

Will Mark Gatiss fulfill his dreams of creating the next “new” thing that we will all love and obsess over? What is the future for our beloved Doctor Who/Sherlock writer? In addition to a film, more Doctor Who and the three new Sherlocks, that is. What is Mark’s secret project he hasn’t talked about yet?

At this he narrows his eyes, pats my leg and says with a Mycroft twinkle and almost a sneer:

“Can’t talk about it.”

Mark’s Doctor Who episode “Sleep No More” airs this Saturday.

[nukaworldnerd]

OC INTERVIEW - Mike

I forgot that my read mores aren’t working anymore and i liked my interviews too much to lose them so here again.

What is your name?

“I’m the most badass dude you will ever meet - the legendary big Mike! But you can call me however ya want, hon’”

How old are you?

* Mike tries to start counting his fingers under the table but stops after he run out of fingers* “… eeeerm age is just a shitty number. I’m in the best years of my life. I always be.”

What do you look like?

“ What do you mean? Can’t see it? I’m fucking handsome, man. Open you shittey eyes before you gonna lose them. I look so good, people start crying when they look at me man. Yeah, I would cry too if I would ever cry. But i never cry because i’m not such a loser. Better believe it before i make you believe.”

Where are you from? Where do you live now?

“Shit on the past. I live in Nuka World now and damn, the Raiders there should be happy about it. They would be totally lost without me.”  

What was your childhood like?

“Wanna unlock my dramatic past? Time for some caps, dude.”

What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions?

“Hah! Everyone loves me!”

Tell me about your best friend.

“Fritsch is a loser, but he is the best loser that i ever met. He is really okay, when he isn’t busy with it to complain about everything I do. Being jealous at me must be a horrible feel.”

Do you have a family? Tell me about them!

*for a moment he bites on his lip - he has a hurt look, but waves off quickly* “Fuck off with your fucking family talk okay? Nobody gives a shit about it.”

What about a partner or partners?

“Right now? I’m with the best damn woman i have ever met. She is smart, dangerous and has the best ass in the whole commonweath. Ilya is.. ….. .okay. Okay? OKay– — what do ya mean? My cheeks are red? Say such bullshit again, and your nose bleeds red. Mike Williams never blush, asshole.”

Who are your enemies, and why?

“I call them hater. Of course people are jealous of me. But after time you learn to deal with it.”

Have you ever heard of The Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them?

“They think they look badass with their shiny power armors but they will never look as badass as i do, so they spent their freetime with crying and playing army.”

What about The Enclave?

“….what’s that? something to eat? I’m hungry.”

How do you feel about Super Mutants?

“I heard RedEyes mom is one but i never saw a female Super Mutant. Do you think their tiddies are….?” *Mike forms big breats with his hands and looks thoughtful to the side* “.. i should ask him later.”

What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in?

“Okay, imagine this - all my friends are on the ground, I’m the only Raider who is still on his feet and hundreds of Gunners surrounded us. Some of them were riding Deathclaws and Mirelurksqueens The Overboss was like “oh no, Mike you are our only hope.” but i stayed cool, even after i noticed that i was out of ammo. So i fought them all with my bare fists. Like BAM and BOOM–” *Mike starts to wave around wildy with his fists and gets lost for the next ten minutes into his totally true story - the only sound he makes are pretty bad fighting sound effects*

Have you ever fought a Deathclaw?

*he starts to laugh - first horrible played but it turns quickly into a panic hysterical laugher* “D-Deathclaws… fear me, o-okay?”

Do you like fighting?

“Nobody has a chance against me! Reminding these losers is the best part.”

What’s your weapon of choice?

“My Junk-Jet. Or my Minigun. Big weapons are fun and scare the losers. Sometimes my enemies shit theirself before the fight had even started.

How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?)

“Nothing can kill me. Not even the death himself, man.”

Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them?

“Hiding under the ground is for cowards.”

How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you?

“Don’t tell me Fritsch sent you to tell me I shouldn’t go out shirtless when a radstorm started. I do what ever i want, he should give it up.”

What’s your favorite wasteland critter?

“My Rat. His name is Cu—Trash.”

What’s your least favorite wasteland critter?

“Deathclaws. Not… that i don’t like Cupcake or something. Just don’t tell Roy from it, ‘kay?”

How do you feel about robots?

“Are great for Spare parts.”

How many caps do you have on you right now?

“Depends how much you have in your pockets — what? Don’t look so suprised i thought it’s clear that i gonna steal them.”

Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla?

“I drink pretty much everything, duh.”

Do you do chems?

“Mostly Jet, sometimes what ever i got into my hands..”

Do you ever think about the Pre-War world?

“I heard they had a zoo with beasts, bigger than Deathclaws. Is that true?”

What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently?

“F-Fuck off!”

What’s your biggest achievement? Or what do you hope to achieve?

“Everything I do is great. One day i gonna be rich and i have my own harem or something. Not that i couldn’t have it now, i just wanna take everything slow.”

What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world?

“Right now i wanna have something to eat and i want that my friends give me something. That counts right?”

[arodrwho]

critrole 2.81 lb

ohhhhkaY here we mcfuckin go y’all

somethin somethin i forgot to pay attention

oh sam has regular clothes

neat

anyways

does that say

y’all motherfuckers need sarenrae

of course it does oh FUCK my phone

phone is fine

this is skipping a lot so i’ve missed a bunch but caleb just. jumped off of fjord’s back??

oh thank u jester

oof down a spell then huh

dang

beep beep golem

this ain’t real great

they’ll be fiiiiiiine

the tag, as ever: oh nooooo they’re gonna get tpkaaaaaaaay’d

@the tag why don’t u eat a d20 & maybe u’ll calm down

in the cool au in my head where caleb uses sign language to replace some of his verbal spell components, he can cast Just Fine currently

or alternatively—the antimagic collar works differently

o that’s interesting taliesin!

he grinned i don’t trust like that

OHHHHHHH THAT WAS A G OOD GRIN!

GOOD JOB CADUCEUS

that was cool as shit

strength check of 9

“caleb grabs notts hand and pulls her through the door” well! that tracks

thank u caleb

o Dear the door is Gone

spose caleb didn’t rly think that through terribly much

eyyyyy cad saves the day again!

thank u nott! u are now the daysaver

o, of course caleb would keep it

lmao i forgot 2 keep doing th lb

also i’m very amused i JUST read someone on my dash say caleb hasn’t been doing support spells & he’s just cast slow

spoke a TAD too soon

that said though yeah he has been going right for fire a lot

hECK yeah beau

o cat’s paw, very nice

oh noooo cad, buddy,,,,,

ooooof that was a lot of ki points i’m sorry :(

oooooo nott figured it out i love the her

acidddd yeaaaaah

anyways

WIN

unlock it!!

ooooo sparkly

o dear don’t wear it

“after today, looks like caduceus could use it” “i’m fine, i’m as smart as i need to be” hey cad i love you,

“yeah i’m perfectly fine” hECk yeah cad

but yeah nah give it to beau though?? beau would be COOOOL

Let Beau Have Ninja Investigative Skills

yeaaaaa

nott doesn’t sound terribly excited abt it though :(

o, is it for jester now? okie

or

what are they gonna piiiiiick

ok it’s jesters

cooooooooooool

oh NO the TINKER GUY

i hope essek is ok

caleb do u follow notT

stop freeziiiiiiiiing you asshole

aw fjordo

i bet u were remembering the dragon huh

residuum golem?

oh not residuum

underground temple w/yasha?

what temple

adamantine

or whatever

okay cool

“nothing is better than frumpkin are u ridiculous?? i thought that thing made u smarter!!” god i love caleb “smart enough to know frumpkin suCKS” rUDE BEAU (also i lov eyou)

goddamN i rly thought cad was fucked there

but he was NOt

so i guess they have a robot now

well correction, caleb has a robot now

willy!!

huh

neat

“sit” it sits

it can’t speak

“he ain’t got no mouth”

caleb be nice to william

stop ordering him around

or say PLEASe

i don’t wanna end for tonight please don’t stop here :(

old, wet rot? chemicals?

strange

this place is WEIRD

beating sound!

is this! what we want!

is this the heart!!!!!!!

what’s happennnnnnnn

is this IT

chains dangle from the ceiling………..

we’re gonna end soon probably i am Sa  d

………...corps e

gross!

that’s gross!

That’s So Gross!!!

creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

“i don’t like this place you guys” well i LOVE this place

it’s very creepy & very good

i want more of it please

are they all like clones

is this an expirement chamber

hundreds of teeth protruding from!!

it’s the lauGHING HAND

that’s so fucking cree p  y

did halas become the laughing hand?

or

no

did he try to make himself like the laughing hand?

like

by experimenting on the heart

like

whaaaaat

this is so fuckin creepy

oh no did y’all summon another golem

oH ACTUALLY U DIDN’T

THA T’S SO GROSS!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!

I LOOOOVE IT

and we’re ending here and that is Just Fine With Me

holy shiiiiiiiit

that’s So Creeeepy

thank u for this matt what the fuck

is very good i’m Delighted

[perfectly-ultimate-great-shoofle]

If you feel comfortable, mind sharing your experience with black hole sun?

ok, lemme see if i can do this story proper…

the context you need here is that by the standards of high school shoofle, i am, now, an unsurpassable goddess of being social. i eschewed all matters other than intellectualism, basically - for a long time in my childhood i just thought i could be smart and that would be the best thing in any situation. i was careful not to judge other people for their choices or what interested them, and i respected emotion and like, “fun” and exhilaration, but they were soundly Not My Area. i just had Higher pursuits in mind! and it wasn’t until the last year or two of high school that i started to realize, wait, maybe having a social life would be fun? maybe doing things could be fun on its own? maybe there was more to life than just trying to be the smartest fucking asshole i could be?

the only extracurricular, and therefore consistent social activity, i engaged in was FIRST robotics. it was real fun and i did it all four years of high school. but one year, i think my senior year, there was a robotics mixer thing after a tournament at the science museum. and it was a big noisy party, of exactly the kind i would have always turned up my nose at; but this time i had some friends along, and we spied the rock band machine. they wanted to play, and i had obsessively played guitar hero on my brother’s ps2 when he was home for the summer, so i was like “yeah i’m hot shit i can play this on expert”

and. fuck. what was his name uh. matt? no, not thomas, thomas was his brother… WILLIAM! will. willus. will, who was transgressive and bisexual and stuff and i had a crush on him (encouraged by my first girlfriend), he was like “yeah let’s go play! we have four people! i’ll sing!” and he recommended the song black hole sun

and so we waded in through the crowd, and it was like, dense on the dance floor, all these sweaty robotics nerds halfasseedly dancing and cheering on the people playing rock band in front of this big screen

and i took up my crappy plastic guitar, and will said he knew black hole sun and so we should play it, and i had never played it but tried it on expert anyway, and eventually i failed in the solo but our drummer rescued me and we beat the song but like

in the middle of it, i was

perfectly

zoned

out

and the crowd was ROARING

for ME

and it was just this. mindblowing experience. i had never known i could feel that way. i never knew that it could feel that good to have attention on you. i knew what it felt like to be a rock star. it was INCREDIBLE and i knew that like.

i knew that like, “rock star” isn’t a life you can just decide you want and go have it, and i knew that what i just experienced was just a big robotics tournament afterparty, but i also suddenly… understood why people wanted to be on stage. and i wanted it too! it was just… it was so incredible to have everyone cheering for ME. for MY BAND. EVERYONE was grooving to black hole sun. there were like hundreds of people in that room, singing along with the song that I was playing. it was just… it was incredible. it was like being on a cloud, it was heaven, it was like… it was like every transformative first experience and it’s exploded your mind with the possibilities of what life could hold

it was really, really fucking cool.

anyway, that’s my story about black hole sun.