#yeeting myself out of a breakdown by laying in bed in a dark room and infodumping to myself about blands

[daz4i]

thinking abt how borderlands uses greek mythology to name stuff in its universe and going insane

[bakugogobih]

DadMight Is Here

Am I sad posting?????? Mayhaps. Will this help with me being sad? We’ll find out in a few hours. Am I putting myself in this story because I wanna be okay? mmmmmmmmmyeAH, am i coping in an unhealthy way??? mmmmmmmmmmyeaH.And you bet your biscuts this is another song one because gOD i love this song. Anyways here. 

Reader is upset about anything and everything, and All Might shows up and helps them. 

Warnings- mentions of suicide, suicidal thoughts, self hate, overthinking, just a bunch of the sad stuff really. 

How is it possible for one person to feel so many different emotions? How is it possible to feel so in love with life one moment and the next wishing you were flying without wings. 

Why is this a normal routine? You have a great day, talk to some friends, pet a dog or two, and then when you get home, once the sun goes down and dims your room, you feel dimmed as well. How is it you feel so upset over literally nothing. You had a good day, and amazing day! You got to pet a huge ass dog named scooby, why the fuck are you crying? 

There is no reason for you to be in your room with the lights off, twilight soundtrack on and covered in month old blankets in that one corner of your bed. Why are you so bent on making yourself sad every. Damn. Night. 

                    Usually, you would be down stairs with your friends, watching Katsuki and his little squad try to beat Izukus at guitar hero. Were you even in any of their friend groups though? Do any of them actually like you or do they talk about you when you leave the room? Do they say the same cruel things you say to yourself when you’re in the shower, or when you’re in class not grasping onto the subject your /really/ thought you would understand. Do they talk as badly as you do when you look in the mirror and don’t like the image that’s shown on the glass. 

Usually you’d be with them, but you weren’t too sure if you should be. You’re not in the best mindset to hear Katsuki call everyone useless. And usually, you would hear gentle knocking on your door. 

You whip your head up from your comfortabl position that would make you uncomfortable tomorrow, whipping your eyes and cheeks so hard that if it didn’t look like you were crying from before it’ll certainly look like you’re crying now. You were just so frustrated. You sniffle one last time and take a small breath before pausing said twilight soundtrack, letting out a small cough. 

“Come in!” 

You watched the skinny shadow walk into your room obviously tired from a busy day and having to deal with everyone’s shit.

“You said you were going to bed, and its only six, I wanted to check on you to make sure you’re okay.” All Might expplained while taking some more steps into your bedroom, closing the door so the others wouldn’t hear, keeping your room dark. You nodded and smiled at the kind hero. 

“Ya, I’m just a little drained.” You muttered, trying to keep your voice steady, praying to whatever was out there so you could go back to your self pity tantrum. 

“Are you sure? You okay?” He presses, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

      That was the last draw. 

You didn’t have any time to react before feeling you eyes warm up and swell with tears again. You clenched your fists and began to hit your comforter.  “Why can’t I be like them and like myself, why can’t I be okay for once, for one damn night! Why do I have to be the one fucker who cries themselves to sleep every. Damn. Night.” You continued to pound before stopping, dropping your head and letting yourself cry. 

You could feel All Might moving closer to you, wrapping his arms around you and smoothing down your hair while you continued your tangent. 

“Why do I have to be so stupid that I have to hesitate to answer anything? Why am I the one who has to panic before talking to their friends or messaging them, why am I the one who always has to make plans and then everyone fucking bails on me. I want to be asked to go somewhere for once, I want to be the one who gets a text message first, I want to be the person who people actually sit with when their alone.” You continued, gasping slightly between small breaths while he pat your back. 

“I ate my lunches in the bathroom for my ninth year of school. I would go into the bathroom and close a stall, sit on the cold, disgusting ground and cry while stuffing my fat mouth with a shitty peanut butter sandwich because I didn’t deserve anything better than that. I didn’t deserve an actual place to eat, I didn’t deserve a lunch that would still make me hungry for the rest of the day. Because I wanted to fucking die.” All might felt his heart clench at your cried confessions, not knowing how such a young person could already be ready and wanting to die so early when life hasn’t even begun for them. He held you tighter, giving you a small squeeze of reassurance while you continued your crying. 

       “I’m the cause of all my problems. I’m too clingy but not clingy enough. If I don’t message any of them first I won’t ever get one, not like they talk to me much anyway. If any of us argue it’s always my fault because I;m the one who brought it up, I’m the one who’s upset so I bring up how I feel and they turn it on me, it’s my fault because I’m the one who’s upset. I’m always the last option, no even the second option.” You spoke, leaning your head into the mans chest, finding comfort in his hold. 

“I just want to be someones first option, maybe even second. I want to feel happy. I don’t want to be so desperate. I don’t want to be so dependent on others.” You told, each word getting harder and harder for you to say. You just wanted to lay down. 

“I don’t even know if I want to even be alive.” 

All might was about to interject but you were able to beat him. 

“Like I want to be, I know I do. But, I don’t want to be alive as me. I want to someone better. I want to be better.” 

       All might felt like he heard enough. 

“Listen, I know this is a hard time in your life, but you have to stick through it, for everyone.” He said while rubbing your arm, trying to find his next words. “Life is crazy, I won’t deny that. And it’s depressing when you think about it. It’s especially depressing for someone your age. You don;t know exactly what you want. All you know is from the movies, your parents and others around you. I know sometimes it may seem like your friends don’t care too much about you, but they do. You have to stop putting yourself in competitions that don’t exist.” 

The older man pulled away from you, moving his position to sit in front of you, both your knees touching while he looked at you. 

“I understand that it sucks not being someones first option, but you have to make yourself /your/ first option. Ya friends are important, but are they really important if you cry this much? Are you really happy with them if when they leave you feel totally useless?” All might tried to tell you, wanting you to understand that you have to help yourself first. He tucked your few stray hairs away from your face.

“It’s no big surprise you turned out this way. We forget you’re still children sometimes. I know I do. It’s okay to cry, and it’s okay to feel useless sometimes too. But it’s not okay for you to do this on your own, so I propose, a sleepover.” You watched the skinny man jump of the bed and walk out of the room, coming back with his own pillows and blankets. He set his things on the floor into a make shift bed before walking back to you, pulling your covers over you and tucking you in gently. He moved down to his ‘bed’ and laid in, putting his hand his hand on your bed. 

“This can be your life line, you can hold it, hit it, pull it, whatever you think can help oyu or if need be, wake me.” All might explained. All of this was just some small gestures, but you felt cared for. Loved for. You reached for his hand before placing your head in it, staring at the wall while you took everything in. While you did so, the man next to you closed his eyes, attempting to sleep. 

You felt your lips turn up slightly. Finally feeling like a first option. You took one last deep breath before closing your eyes, a small attempt of going to sleep. For once you were okay with the thought of morning, because this time you wont be alone. 

------------------------------------------

Well thats it. So basically all might was a parental figure and just let them have their breakdown because sometimes thats what the person needs. And he felt like leaving them alone wouldnt be a good option. And the song is one of my favorites by the front bottoms called twin size mattress. 

I just wanna explain it cause im lowkey highkey a shitty writer and its hard to understand what im writing or what i mean so yeet. I hope you guys enjoyed it. And some of this was actaully true for me, freshman year i would eat my lunch in the bathroom because i had no friends and the friends i did have would ditch me. B ut ya this was just a sad one, I just needed to write some sad stuff to help me. Ya know rant a little. But thats all so I hope you all enjoyed <3

[ghostwinchesters]

Can you do Sam + Support pls??

you mean sam who just left home for stanford and finds a dog, aka bones ???? you betcha.

he wants to stay on the bathroom floor forever. he still feels nauseous but you can’t vomit emotions and he doesn’t have anything else to throw up. he feels so fucking alone. maybe this was a mistake.

there’s a knock on the bathroom door. “hey, man. you’ve been in there forever.” sam freezes. maybe going to the men’s bathroom at two in the morning in a middle of nowhere gas station was a mistake too.

“i’ll be–” sam coughs and rips off some toilet paper to wipe his mouth. he tries to lower his voice. “i’ll be out in a second.” he forces himself to his feet, shaking his aching head to try to get rid of his tunnel vision. he turns the water on cold and splashes it on his face. some of it drips uncomfortably down his neck and under his sleeves but he’s already disgustingly damp from the drizzle outside. he pulls his hoodie low over his eyes and slings his duffel bag over his shoulder again.

he takes a deep breath and pulls the door open, moving past the guy standing there as quickly as he can, head ducked.

he grabs a few granola bars and a bag of chips and dumps them on the cracked counter. he avoids looking the cashier in the eye while he digs around for a few dollar bills and leaves as quickly as he can.

he turns the corner into the dark parking area next to the gas station, trying to stay close to the small awning and out of the rain. something brushes against his leg as he drops the change into his bag and he jumps, his hand going for the knife tucked into his belt.

there’s a soft whine and sam exhales in relief as he looks down. “oh my g-d. don’t–! what are you still doing here?” he bends down to pet the golden retriever’s tangled fur. “you have to stop following me, boy. i can barely take care of myself, okay?”

the dog licks his face and sam huffs out a tired laugh.

“do you really not have anyone looking out for you? did someone just fucking leave you at the bus stop?” he rubs his ear gently. “are you just as alone as me?”

he stands up, shaking his head. “fine, dammit. i’ll try to sneak you into my motel room if i find one.” he pats his leg and makes a kissing sound. “come on. let’s get out of this shitty fucking rain.”

sam looks over his shoulder before unlocking the door to his room and letting the retriever slip in before him. he bolts it behind him and pulls out his canister of salt and pours it onto the floor along the bottom of the frame. the dog sits next to him, waiting patiently.

sam stares down at him and wrinkles his nose. “you need a bath. i need one too, but i think you really need one first.” he walks to the bathroom and turns the water on, dropping his duffle bag on the closed toilet lid. “i hope you don’t mind wat–” the dog jumps into the tub, splashing onto sam’s legs. he sighs. “okay, we got that covered. you better not use all the hot water though.”

he kneels down and runs his fingers through the dog’s fur, trying to get some of the matted, muddy parts of his fur clean first. they end up having to use an extremely unfortunate amount of sam’s shampoo before sam shuts off the water and grabs a towel off the counter. he groans in discomfort as he leans over the dog and dries him off.

his ribcage hurts and he’s been wearing his binder for way too long. the dog pushes his nose against sam’s chest gently and whines. “what?” the dog does it again, more insistently, and sam winces. “okay, okay. i’m taking it off in a second, boy. i’ll be fine.” he dries him off enough that he’s not dripping anymore and drops the towel on the floor. “come on, get out of the tub. my turn.”

the retriever leaps off the bed excitedly when sam comes out of the bathroom and sam can’t help but smile again as he runs his fingers through the dog’s much cleaner fur. he checks the door and the salt before falling onto the bed, completely exhausted.

“maybe i should name you, huh?” sam scratches behind the dog’s ears. “not to sound attached, but you need a name.” they lay quietly for a few minutes. “ugh, i don’t know. everything i keep thinking of just makes me think of dad and hunting.” his breath catches in a suppressed sob. he doesn’t need another breakdown right now. “and dean.”

the dog licks his face, replacing the tear that slipped down his cheek with slobber. sam laughs shakily. “gross, but thanks. i appreciate it.” he wipes his face with the sleeve of his sweater. “you know what? bones. i’m going with it, i don’t care.”

bones licks his nose this time and sam smiles tiredly, turning the bedside lamp off. he’s still so far from okay but maybe he’ll get there.

hhhhh this is so messy and,, not great but i’m fuckin tired so yeet

send me a character/pairing + a phrase !