#yellowgreenblood

[fantroll-purgatory]

@buttercup-n-stuff

Hey, I’m back with this boy!

Hey! This is mod TR. I like your new sprite! We’re a little bit confused because while it’s true that you waited the month before resubmitted the boy it…doesn’t look like you’ve changed too much about the bio? You’ve even stepped back a few of the things you seemed sure about in the last one. So instead of CD reviewing this again, I’m stepping in to see if I can provide new ideas for you to bounce off the character. Let’s jump in!

World: Beforus

Name: Ablanc Canois

Age: 6.5 or so sweeps

Theme/Story: Weird albino lad that somehow didn’t get murdered as a baby. Lives in caves.

Hmmmm. The thing is, Beforus’s culling system isn’t about killing! It’s about being put forcibly under the care of your “betters” (which is to say, higher blooded trolls). As with CD’s review, I’d also suggest that he’s depigmented instead of albino; this way you can still let him live in the caves and explain away his appearance!

Review Goals: Story, mostly. Really got no idea what to do.

Strife Specibus: Scissors was my last idea, but I may reconsider to something like shovel? idk

I still really like scissorkind from your last one, and since you haven’t explained why you wanted to change it to shovelkind I kinda wanna keep the scissors!

Fetch Modus: uuuuhhhhhhh

When you last submitted Ablanc you said that you wanted something memory-based since you yourself are forgetful, and Ablanc is your trollsona, yes? We could just use Jade’s MEMORY MODUS for that!

Blood Color: Lime! Albino lime, duh.

Lunar Sway: Derse

Title: I think it was page of heart? It’s been a while.

You’re correct! For what it’s worth, I find that it helps to keep a word doc of details for fantrolls I plan to show people repeatedly so that I can remember details like this.

Symbol and Meaning: Cano

Handle: pastelProgramming

Cute! You sure you don’t want to go with pastelProgrammateur, a la CD’s prior suggestion?

Quirk: Absolutely no clue! Hooray!

CD suggested last time that you use **** for “fluff” to reference the fact that he liked fluffy things, but I see that that has since been removed from your bio.

How about;

He ends all his phrases with a semicolon;

Since he’s just learning how to program;

Special Abilities: Can see in the dark, but can’t see very well in light. Squints a lot as a result.

Lusus/Guardian: Last idea was a jadeblood, but that might change if I have a good reason for him to live.

Like I said before, he’s probably alive because Beforus isn’t Alternia! A Jade Custodian would be a very likely assigned guardian for a limeblooded mutant troll.

Interests: Programming, writing, trying to make friends online.

Appearance: See image

Personality: Generally grumpy, tries not to be but always fails. Hard to be around, has an unpleasant personality. Is actually quite soft and likes fluffy things.

Let’s sink our teeth into this part a little deeper. Why is he grumpy? Given that you’ve made him a mutant on Alternia, he’s most likely not given a lot of autonomy! You should think a little bit about how he reacts to that level of control.

Land: Uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh

Once again, I’m going to double down on CD’s rec of Land of Honey and Drops!

I hope this helped with your character, but remember: if you feel like any of our suggestions are missing the point or don’t fit your character, you can feel free to message us about why that is! We’d be happy to work with you to refine him further.

-TR

[limemall]

--Welcome--

▲i’m your local lime daraya jonjet kinnie but you can call me darien or froggy if you want, i use he/him and gator/gatorself along with other pronouns, im a minor so dont be creepy ight▼

▲main is: @thefroggymagician ▼

▲basically this is like a selfcare blog for limeblood/yellowgreenblood hiveswap and homestuck kinnies. so youll find me reblogging selfcare stuff along with aesthetics and other lime/yellow-green related stuff. i might also reblog stuff for my cloistermates here and there. enjoy your stay and dont be afraid to drop by the inbox ▼

▲if you don’t kin a limeblood/yellow-greenblood and/or dont kin you can interact too if you want it’s not like exclusive dw ▼

[hskinhome]

An aesthetic for a noncanon yellowgreenblood (between gold and lime) who worked as a gardener for a highblood and had a little treehouse by a pond for hanging out in when they needed time alone or with their violetblood moirail who would embroider flowers onto their overalls

[void-gnostalgia]

i’ve seen a lot of speculation on what the Zodiac of Earth C might look like, but i’ve not found any of them especially compelling - so, i worked on my own, using evidence from Earth B’s zodiac (i’ll put my reasoning for the order and dates below the cut), and represented the two side by side visually, like this. This wheel should let you work out what your hypothetical sign on Earth C would be!

Earth B: Ram — Bull — Twins — Crab — Lion — Maiden — Scales — Scorpion — Archer — Sea-goat — Water-bearer — Fish — Ram

Earth C: Disc — Hat — Dog — Terror — Beast — Ghost — Horror — Cat — Disc

Both: Snake-Bearer

Short version:

the signs of the last players in the Client-Server player sequences that created Universe B and then C align with the entry dates for their respective sessions: the Twins (Sollux Captor) for the SGRUB Beta (Earth B), the Dog (Jade) for the SBURB Beta (Earth C), and the Cat (roxy (moi)) for the SBURB Alpha (Earth C), and both Zodiacs are organised according to their players’ colour spectrum.

Long version:

The Zodiac of Earth B, our Earth, was created by the Beta SGRUB session, who entered from Alternia on Alternian calender 06/12.

The equivalent date for Earth B is June 12, whose Sun Sign is Gemini, the Twins — the sign of Sollux Captor. Why is Sollux Captor special? Because he is the last player in the SGRUB Beta’s client-server player order.

The Zodiac of Earth B is significant for another reason: it is arranged by the colour spectrum of the SGRUB beta’s players— if you treat Karkat as a yellowgreenblood, that is (which there is a fair bit of evidence for).

It has been remarked upon before, but if you arrange the human kids alphabetically, we form a rainbow (though Jade and John swapped shirt colours bc they’re sweet like that), Dave-Dirk-Jade-Jake-Jane-John-Rose-roxy. Logical conclusion: the Zodiac of Earth C should be arranged by spectrum in the same way as Earth B’s! But we can take this one step further.

The entry dates for the SBURB Beta and Alpha sessions are 04/13 and 11/11, respectively, which are 212 days apart - or, 58.1% of a year.

The last players in the SBURB Beta and Alpha sessions’ Client-Server player sequences are Jade and myself (roxy), respectively. If Earth C’s zodiac really were to match the pattern of Earth B’s zodiac, then our respective signs — the Dog and the Cat — should be the Sun signs for the entry dates in Earth C the same way Sollux’ is for Earth B.

By spectrum order, the Dog and the Cat should be five signs apart, and so, because there are eight signs on Earth C, each taking up 12.5% of the year, the possible range of time that any two dates within the Sun Signs of the Dog and the Cat are permitted to be apart is 50% to 75% (2x6.25% either side of 5/8ths, or 62.5%) of an Earth C-year. Obviously, 58.1% lies within this range.

This means that is it is possible for the Earth C date 04/13 to lie in Jade’s Sun Sign, the Dog at the same time as 11/11 lies in my (roxy’s) Sun Sign, the Cat, so if we take this to be true, then the above wall of text can be summarised thusly:

The Sun Sign of Sollux Captor, the last in the SGRUB Beta’s Client-Server Player sequence, the Twins, contains Earth B’s equivalent entry date for said session, 06/12.

The Sun Sign of Jade, the last in the SBURB Beta’s Client-Server Player sequence, the Dog, contains Earth C’s equivalent entry date for said session, 04/13.

The Sun Sign of roxy, the last in the SBURB Alpha’s Client-Server Player sequence, the Cat, contains Earth C’s equivalent entry date for said session, 11/11

And as far as i’m concerned? the fact that this works AT ALL in such a serendipitous fashion means it’s almost certainly true. Also Dave gets Earth C northern-midwinter so tl;dr: Dave: shit lets be santa

[fantroll-purgatory]

I’ve been a little afraid to submit this one since it’s my sona and I’m a terribly flawed person but here we go, don’t hold back.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Albino Isn’t A Personality.

You shouldn’t be so self-depreciating! Don’t talk like this about yourself or about your creations. It’s not a good habit for your mental health (or to spout to strangers), as temporarily relieving as it can be. As for your characters- if you know that you’re having a problem with them, try to work on that problem instead of just throwing your hands up like this. You have creative concepts, so I know you can let your character development fly with a little more elbow grease! 

For this reason, I’m going to cut out all your additional self-depreciating jokes! No self-disparaging on this blog! 

World: Honestly? No clue. My memory of Beforus is a little iffy, so I can’t remember if it has/had limebloods.

Beforus does have limebloods! Though they’re called yellowgreens over there. I think we might lean into the beforus thing here just to give you some more wiggle room than being stuck with another Lime Rescued By Jade story. 

Name: Ablanc Canois  Age: 7 Sweeps

Theme/Story: So I kinda just made him albino for fun, because my sign is lime and regular old mutants are boring. I was thinking maybe some overly soft jadeblood hid him until he was old enough to survive deeper underground?

Like I said, I want to shift this more towards a Beforus Story than an Alternian one. I might keep the cave thing, though, and maybe consider the low-light adaptation angle? I Think instead of just being an albino troll, you could go with a Depigmented troll, like the condition arachnids get when they live in caves for extended periods of time but in fast forward. Maybe he was accidentally left in the caverns for longer than intended/got lost and had to survive on his own until eventually being rescued and culled into the hands of a jade when he was a toddler troll? Feral Wolf Child type of troll but with a cave crawler bug instead.  Goals: I’d say the sprite is pretty good for my standards, but I might be completely wrong so you can take a look if you really want. Mostly I just need help with [reworking the personality to make it stronger].

I think your sprite is definitely pretty good! My only recommendation might be changing the outline on the sweater to a lighter gray instead of black, since that makes the sweater detail hard to see. And maybe in inverse of that, turning the hair’s outline black so that it stands out better against the skin. 

Strife Specibus: Scissorkind, don’t ask me why because I have no clue.

Baby Ablanc: [running around the house with scissors]

Their Custodian: no! no!! get back here!! Fetch Modus: Probably something with memory since I’m really forgetful and irony am I right kids

It could be something the jade custodian gave him to try to force him to practice! Or you could do something even more blatant in that regard, like a Manners Modus where the jade custodian tries to get him to Practice Etiquette With His Modus.  Blood Color: Albino Lime, or just lime if you want. Symbol and Meaning: Cano Handle: concernedConfusion (My most common mood)

Relatable! But I think we should tug in the interests you have a little more. Maybe confusedProgrammateur? The latter part is a mashup of Programmer and Amateur, to reflect that he’s very new to the skill but still working on it!  Quirk: Er… I’m not very good at quirks.

You can probably just base what he does around your own habits or quirks! If there’s a particular piece of media you like or something, you could try to theme it around that? Since you like fluffy things, you could also consider adding *** around his sentences to create some Pompoms, For Fluffiness. **his sentences are soft and fluffy just like him*** Special Abilities: Since we don’t really know what limes could do, I’ll skip over that. He can see without any light though.

Limes are said to either have soothing abilities or have powers that let them manipulate the natural world! Like, firebending. Those are just theories, though, and not everyone of every caste has powers, so I think it can definitely slide. The low light conditions are accounted for in the backstory I gave! He can see well in darkvision hours. The tradeoff is that he probably can’t see AS well in the light. Still adjusting even after all these sweeps.  Lusus/Guardian: uuuuuuuuuuuh

Like I said above, Jade Custodian is probably the way to go.  Interests: Oh boy. Writing, drawing, programming, none of which he’s actually very good at. Also likes fluffy things.

Being “good” doesn’t matter as long as you’re enjoying it, that’s what hobbies are for. No Commodification Of Pleasures On This Humble Blog. You should try writing up a Homestuck Intro style introduction for yourself so you can see if you can remember more particular interests to add to the list. What kind of programming do you like in particular? What sort of stories do you like to write/read? Having an interest in writing usually comes from a place of liking a particular genre, right? 

Personality: Acts confused and annoyed by people to make them go away, wants friends but doesn’t think the ones he has actually like him. Very self-deprecating. Is this based too much on me?

It’s a trollsona, that’s what trollsonas are for! But you do gotta remember to try to integrate to the environment. What would you feel like or be like under these new circumstances we’ve imposed?  Lunar Sway: Derse

You need to put more emphasis on dissatisfaction if you want to play up the derse side. What do you want to fight against? What aspects of yourself do you hide or struggle to hide? Remember that the fight can be silly if you want. Is your rebellion against society or against your Troll Mom for not letting you run with scissors? Either one can a dersite make.  Title: Rogue/Page of Heart.

Interesting choices for sure. It’s always hard to classpect for trollsonas since I don’t know you or your Life Arc personally, but I think from this character writeup I might be leaning Page of Heart. You’re in that Potentiality Phase, now, where you’ve got to build up and strength your sense of identity before you can put it to proper work.  Land: You might know by now I suck at land.

How about… the Land of Honey and Drops, a cavernous planet that smells of honey, fragrant and floral and sweet, it is easy to lose yourself here, to walk among the caves forever and to forget who you are. The inhabitants of this planet are kept wandering husks by the perfumed honey and need your help to rally them and help them take back their identities. 

Anyway I’m going to go rethink my life choices. Thanks for tolerating all my requests. You guys are the best.

Don’t rethink your life choices, be excited you sent in a neat character. That’s what we’re here for after all! Thank you for sharing and I hope this all helped!

-CD

[fantroll-purgatory]

Technically these trolls fled from alternia to get away from the violence, when Condy was ruling.

mostly notes about this planet !

CD: Don’t worry, I like having a lot of info to work with. *Cracks knuckles* Mostly, when you’re building a new planet, you want to ask yourself- What makes this so different from Alternia that it’s worth writing a story on a different planet instead of a different region? I think you’ve got a lot of interesting stuff to work with in that regard, but it still needs a little work.

(SA Incoming! Plant biology (with a focus in Mycology and Fungal Like Organisms) is literally my bachelor’s. Coming in for the science references.)

“Comantem- blooming in Latin. Represents a new peaceful age for the Trolls species.”

-planet is covered in plant life !!

CD: Plant life is a really vague term. You talk later about the moss and fungus(not plants but bear with me), but that’s about as specific as you get. What kind of plant life? Is it aggressive and hostile? Is it why the planet is so dangerous at night? Or do other creatures cause that? Is it plant life the trolls can EAT and thrive with, or does it represent an agricultural problem for them? Do trolls have to try to beat back the natural plant life on the planet to farm their own food to survive? (Actually, do trolls even eat plants or are they carnivorous?) (I know not all planets that exist aren’t covered in plant life but… liveable planets are. Earth is. Alternia isn’t exactly liveable and it does. Check out where Terezi and Aradia live. You don’t really have terrestrial life without terrestrial plants. Who’s making the oxygen otherwise?)

-Rainbow drinkers are seen as great soldiers for the fleet and other things. RD can live off the blood of their enemies so its good on the planet’s economy.

CD: Jades are rare and Rainbow Drinkers are RARE. Relying on the possibility that a small subset of your already uncommon population for your military is a good way to get blasted to hell immediately. A more likely approach is to rely on golds and bluebloods. Golds tend to have psionic abilities and using them for fighting forces instead of living batteries could be a major advantage. Have them act as long range fighters while the naturally strong bluebloods take the forefront. Jades can still be considered an important part of a team/good to have on a team, but they shouldn’t be central. (I will admit that weaponizing Rainbowdrinkers in a “secret monastery of elite battle ladies” way does appeal to me, though. Given that they don’t need to do AS much of the work given that they don’t need to tame lusii or anything, maybe they can retire to military service?)

- adults stay on planet.

CD: This leads to my next question- how is the planet sustaining its population? Did they steal a mother grub? Mother GRUBS, multiple? Who takes care of these mother grubs and how does the grub-raising system differ? Do they still do the cave thing or does the gov’t regulate grub care to prevent massive death and help the population thrive?

Also, re: stealing grubs and running away: How’d they slip that one under the radar? Does Condy know where they are and is she a threat or are they hiding for now? If they’re hiding, the Sky Hives might be a little riskier. Hell, if they’re KNOWN about the sky hives might be risky. Think of the motivation for this. If they want hives off the ground, then that must mean the risk on the ground is worse than the risk of getting caught. Work with that. What threat on planet is worse than getting caught by Condy? Must be pretty scary.

-there is a government. Government still believes in blood color discrimination. If a lowbloods is elected to be in said so gov, they are respected but risk assassination attempts.

CD: If the government believes in blood color discrimination, why did it leave Alternia? Highbloods certainly don’t suffer as much oppression under Condy’s rule and get more cushy positions even in the Space War than the lowbloods who get treated like cannon fodder. This is like imagining an alternate version of history where rich nobles and religious majorities fled Europe for no reason. Give us a motive. Who is in charge? Is it seadwellers still, who are on the highest end? If so, why did they leave? Or are we playing Landdweller Government. We know that landdwellers and seadwellers are at odds and their nobility has a contentious relationship, so while purples (who are seemingly decently loyal to the crown, even if chaotically) might not be as tempted to leave, blues certainly would have some motive. That can change up the scheme of the hemospectrum, creating a shape that peaks at blue and descends on either side.

Like that.

- the sun is not harmful. But at night it is more dangerous.

CD: What makes it dangerous? I kind of went into this above, but elaborate. Where’s the danger? Is it local fauna? Local flora? Something even more insidious?

- FLARP games are uncommon to play, but still exist.

-gov puts sopor slime mix into consumables. They use this to keep the violence rate in check and low.

CD: Okay, this leads to the question of what you believe sopor is made of. Is it squashed limes, because how’re they flying THAT under the radar?

- The trolls aren’t that much physically violent and their government psychologically messes with them

- lusii are much more aggressive than the ones on Alternia. This resorted to Com trolls to using troll caretakers. Caretakers are often seen as bodyguards than just parents.

CD: What makes the lusii more aggressive? Is there something about the planet that makes them behave that way? This also raises the question of why they would even keep breeding them in that case? Why would they want these aggressive useless animals around? Have they transitioned lusii to a food source? Why don’t they just try to rely on local fauna instead? Are the high ranking officials just being old fashioned and clinging to traditionalism despite it being futile? Or is it an idea you can scrap because it has no actual useful basis?

You also need to think about the implications of trolls who have never had parents before trying to take on a caretaking role. What does this mean for the new generations of trolls? How might their behavior differ? (Lusii are also just aggressive in general. In Friendsim, there’s an entire “battling a lusus” sequence in one of the routes. They’re not like “fun peaceful animal friends”.)

-lusii have naturally growing plants and patches of moss on them. Cordyceps fungus usually affects the lusii and rarely trolls.

(But why tho.) (No. “Aesthetic” is not a reasoning. Nor is “it’s my entire world concept!” Those don’t explain this. Like… how? Why? You make a comment about trolls also getting plant patches? (also nitpick- Moss are plants, they just aren’t vascular plants. They’re not fungus) Why? What has altered troll-lusus biology SO HEAVILY that they are gestalt organisms now? That’s not a thing that just happens.) (I don’t want to be that guy, but: do you know what Cordyceps does? I literally have a degree in this subject so I most assuredly do.)

(Given what we know about troll biology -that they’re insectoid- Cordyceps species would be much more likely to affect them and not the lusii, and would be a bane to wrigglers, who would be the primary hosts of O. sinensis. Even species that are still technically within Cordyceps (like Beauveria) affect insects almost exclusively. O. sinensis killed caterpillars are even eaten as folk medicine!)

(There’s a 99% chance you’re referring to O. unilateralis, the “zombie ant” fungus. Which, as I’ve stated before, would affect your trolls LONG before it would turn Lusii into zombies. O. unilateralis would cause your wrigglers to wander into high humidity environments at a specific height, lock themselves down, and then be mummified as the fungus works its way through their bodies, and then explode into a cloud of spores that could affect other wrigglers. Given how the troll life cycle works (and the fact that you have centralized government and caretaking) this would likely never affect older trolls, and Cordyceps species don’t affect non-insects, and would struggle to burst through in larger bodies, hence why it’s evolved to parasitize ants and not like, monkeys.) (Another point is that even in Ants, the ants can tell when something’s parasitized and will literally move infected members of the community away so they don’t wreck the colony. A thing that your trolls would be able to do with medicine.)

-sky hives !! the government is always focused on moving forward so they have advanced tech powered by plants.

CD: Again like I said, consider the ramifications of Sky Hives more closely. If they’re floating up in space, they’re more likely to be noticed. What’s down there that makes being noticed the preferred option?

-mutants stay underground or in the sky most of the time.

CD: Why is there still mutant oppression? If this is a planet that ran explicitly to flee Condy’s oppression, some more weight might be given to the lives of the mutant folks. Especially because the government doesn’t want to cull them if they wanna keep their numbers up and their people invigorated. Maybe instead of them having to hide, mutants could be the ones the highbloods elevate as political symbols? It can create a unique new sort of oppressive environment for them that isn’t exactly the same as on Alternia.

- conmantemrians have glowing neon teeth in the dark, and their bones are the same as well as their eyes! (but the glow in their eyes are faint.) (Can be any color, depending on the blood caste!) Mostly due to them having adapted to the planet’s environment.

CD: How long have they been on this planet? Because if it hasn’t been a looong time, they probably haven’t biologically adapted this much. And if the planet is dangerous at night, what is the benefit to glowing? Wouldn’t that make them stand out more and be more likely to be hurt? Does the threat hate light and avoid it at all costs or something? If so, why?

-occasionally some trolls have small patches of glowing moss with either fungi or flowers. Usually the lower and mid castes get these. The high castes (Purple to Fuchsia) get stinging anemones (which feel like pinches, used for defense against wild lusii)

CD: My question here is Why. The aesthetic of this is cool and all, but think functionally. How does this happen? Where does it come from? Trolls are bugs, not beds of soil. How will they grow plants on them?

-there are barely any actual teals on the planet. Instead, there’s jade-leaning or olive-leaning. The government believes the teals would attempt to overthrow and take control.

CD: Teals are known for being relatively law-abiding folk thanks to their association with the legislacerators, so you need to establish where this idea would come from. During the original foundation did a group of crown-loyal teals attempt to rat them out? Is that still a story that gets told aroud the planet, causing teals to be associated with betrayal? Also: blood color isn’t a spectrum quite like that in the homestuck canon. Are you doing an AU where the blood colors can blend like that? If you’re trying to use canon hemospectrum rules, there are only 12 colors. There can’t be “jade-leaning” or “olive-leaning” anything. (Also, Mothergrubs don’t choose what color blood trolls have. If so, we’d never had mutantbloods. We don’t really know exactly how troll blood color is passed on, but it’d be strange to assume that this planet just doesn’t have the ability to make tealbloods. If it was 1-to-1 trolls, we’d never get any Fuschias ever, given that Condy geeks them all when they come of age, and a new one doesn’t like… immediately replace them, else there’d be overlap.)

-olives are the face of society. They’re somewhat favourable to the government. They’re treated nicely, given clothes that resembles the Greek gods, and such. They’re usually considered snooty to the other midbloods and lowbloods.

CD: You should probably take more inspo from Old Alternians than Greek Gods. Trolls aren’t going to know what Greek Gods are, after all. And I once again have gotta ask, why olives? What gets them revered? Give a backstory for why besides randomly saying it. Were olives goodluck charms for the original establishing trolls? Is it a Folk Belief that if you don’t revere your olives your shit will get fucked? If not, then it’s probably better to just transition this entirely over to the Objectifying Worship Of Mutant Folks.

-They have caste appreciation holidays but Olive and a couple others are the only ones that are actually celebrated by society

-Olive/Jade-leaning peeps are not well liked but are redeemed bc both olive and jade have good purposes in society

CD: What are the olive’s purposes? You call them revered, but you don’t say what they actually do? Given the history of the olive legacy w/ the Disciple, you cooould probably make them religious figures?

-Fucking freaky weather yo (except it’s good for the plants so w/e) (What does this mean though. Good for what plants? Plants aren’t a monolith. Is it a jungle planet? A grassland planet? A planet of entirely cacti?)

CD: Weather Starts in the sky, usually, so how does this impact the sky hives?

Pro/anti-plant people for the plants on the trolls (arguments on whether growth should be allowed bc not everyone gets them) (I discuss earlier how this concept makes little to no sense, but having political debates about them checks out, given that it’s like… very bizarre and strange for trolls.)

-Secret sopor farms! Sopor factories! Lots of purple-blood overseers

-Sky hives = blood rain on the rare occasion someone dies

-Government made FLARP manuals to show peeps the ‘right’ way to do it and keep them from getting violent in their games

CD: I’m combining the Blood Rain and the Nonviolent FLARP thing because I have an idea. Now… FLARP stands for Fatal Live Action Roleplay. There is NO way to avoid being violent in FLARP. FLARP is, inherently, totally, and completely, a violent game. So if the gov’t wanted to regulate it, what if they did Gladiatorial FLARP instead. Arena Combat Hours. This can make the blood rain more of an EVENT. They blood of the slain players is rained down Intentionally.

A summary; Comantem: a planet filled with lots of plant life and a government that drugs their citizens so they cannot rebel but is generally a peaceful planet compared to Alternia.

Hope this is good enough? This is a new concept that I made like a day ago so yup

CD: It’s definitely a real interesting concept! You’ve got some work to do filling things out and making the world feel living and breathing, but you’re on your way! Thank you for sharing and I hope these comments have been helpful.

[fantroll-purgatory]

Meaning: Lorlei, from Lorelei, and I forget what zlaman comes from, something about dark I think

Lorlei is an interesting name because it comes with that Sorrow and Grief feeling you discuss below. Zlaman…. I think means bone fracture. Or at least Unbearable Pain. Definitely an interesting starting place. I think with a name like this, you’ve gotta have some Sad Backstory action going on… like, Lorlei Knew another limeblood earlier in her life but that limeblood was killed recently and she’s still grieving over it/distraught about it. 

Universe: regular, but some limes still exist

Age: Six sweeps

Lusus: Bear (kinda generic, but I made her a bear because she’s very protective over Lorlei like a bear)

I Do love the idea of a bear mum for her, but I do want to suggest just a minor edit. The Bear Has 8 Legs. as a reference to tardigrades (water bears), who are close relatives of arthropods. The bearmom isn’t a tardigrade I’m literally Just suggesting it’s an otherwise normal bearmom with 8 legs. 

Sign: Cano

Trollian Handle: esteemedOrchestrator

If she’s relatively isolated, I don’t think she could be called “esteemed”, and given her social position I don’t think she’s orchestrating much? Maybe like…. beguilingMourner. 

Weapon: an umbrella with a sharp pointed tip

Umbrellas are often associated with mourning, so I think this draws in well with the theme I’m suggesting.

Fetch modus: Sing what she wants to retrieve

How about like, an echo modus? So singing is an option, too, but she can only captchalogue something if someone else (or an echo) repeats the words back to her. And pushes and emphasizes the loneliness theme! Also the Lorelei myth was inspired by the myth of Echo.

Quirk: )) these things ((

God tier: Seer of Heart

I like the idea of that for sure. Understander of passion… trying to figure herself out w/ the trauma of being one of the last of her caste. 

Land: Land of Rain and Caves

Lunar sway: Derse

Ancestor: Itayam Zlaman, the Pacifist. A lime troll who escaped from the genocide of limes, only to be caught and added to the collection of the empress, staying there until she died.

Pacifist seems like an odd name for a character with this story. Maybe The Prisoner instead? 

Personality: Lorlei is a cut off troll, who doesn’t socially interact much in fear of being found out and killed. She believes she’s the last lime troll left, so drowns out her sorrows with music. Her sorrows aren’t really much of a big deal though, she complains about a lot of things that don’t really matter. She’s extremely caring to those who tolerate her, because the ones who do are rare. She knows exactly what to say to win you over.

I really like the idea of on top of all this, she has like… some Singing Abilities. You know how limes are often headcanoned to have pacifying abilities- she could be able to entice people with song. It could create an interesting situation for her to meet new people- if she wanders the woods singing her sorrowful songs and accidentally lures someone in.

And as I said above, I like the idea of her being just a lil’ paranoid and a lil’ mourning.  

Hope this is all ok! Love your reviews!

Thank you! And thank you for sharing this character! Now we go onto design: 

Lorelai is known for her long wavy hair, so I gave Lorlei some long wavy hair! I also made her eyelashes a little tearful and added the undereye bags. Other than that, I don’t have much to edit!

-CD

[fantroll-purgatory]

Xártit Maileō

This is her: http://cottonsyrup333.deviantart.com/art/Fantroll-619615785

Alright, you’ve given her a kind of bare bones structure, which I can understand. Sometimes plotting out a troll can be difficult. The most significant theme I see here, of course, is Independence. You want to give her a story about coming into herself and becoming more independent. That’s a really good potential narrative! I’m going to try to organize things to fit that theme a little more soundly.

 As for the name, we should touch it up, since I can’t find any origin for it! 

I think Caluma Wollst is the way to go. Caluma is a shortening (Calumma) of a common name for Chameleons. I do want to keep the chameleon theme because the association with the change of color does kind of metaphorically fit with the literal change you want your character to go through. Mary Wollstone was a famous feminist, and her story of uprising and her public demands for independence and equal treatment make me think about the narrative you want for your fantroll! Caluma Wollst.  

Planet: Beforus Blood: Ivy Green(looks like Kanaya’s color)

Now… it’s not often that I shift from a common blood color to an uncommon one, but I think making her a limeblood might be a good bet. If only because they’re historically oppressed on Beforus and her being under the control and influence of others makes more sense if she’s filling this sort of role. Jadebloods are too well-respected for the narrative to work as well with that. 

Title: Maid of Light

I honestly think Page of Breath is probably the better role for her! Starting out very weak-willed and all the bonds and responsibilities and the weight of her blood all coming to her, but learning to become her own person with her own direction and goals, finding her independence. 

Sign: Chamaeleon trollTag: alternateColoration

I think that her tag should be something that more reflects her desire to be herself, but also her current reliance. Maybe transformingCharge? 

Quirk: - Writes a period between each letter “ l.i.k.e t.h.i.s ” to represent independence from others

- oo becomes oO to look like her lusus

I don’t think this is really a necessary addition when you already have the period thing, which works well enough for the theme you’re going for, especially considering I don’t think the “oO” will read particularly like the lusus (which I’m going to be changing anyways, sorry!).  

Dreamer: Prospit strifeKind: syringeKind

Wh… why? Alright- I think that she should perhaps actually have NO strife specibus. Now I know that’s kind of weird, but. Beforus is a far less violent planet and limebloods have a tricky history, especially considering the coddling nature of Feferi’s rule on Beforus. So maybe she has to rely on others to protect her at first and can adopt a weapon later!

Lusus: 5ft tall lion w/ scales and chameleon eyes

I think we should Just do a chameleon. The lion is an interesting addition, surely, but it really doesn’t themeatically fit in place or have any cohesive attachment to her nature! It also allows us to focus on the solitary nature of chameleons. They prefer to live alone and are very independent. Maybe the lusus prefers to keep to herself and didn’t do much for Caluma, and maybe Caluma was forced at a young age to rely on the Beforan government?

Age: 7.4 sweeps(16yrs) Land: Land of Watches and Color

I think she should have a land and a quest that requires her to kind of work on her own and become her own hero. Like once she crosses a particular threshold, no one can come with her. She has to become the hero of her land and defeat something all alone, all by her own will. Maybe she even has to overcome the will of another creature that is trying to control her? Maybe that creature’s will is even covering the whole land. Land of Will and Sovereignty. 

Consorts: Blue newts who like coins(change-oh the metaphors)

That’s a funny enough pun that I’ll allow it. And blue newts are good, because they also are solitary animals! 

Fetch Modus: Independence cards- must do something on her own to captchalouge the card 

Though this is a nice callback to the theme, it’s kind of confusing and not well-defined. Maybe it could be a Confidence Modus that requires her to perform something she’s usually afraid of doing in public- like singing? Or saying something she thinks out loud. In order to obtain her possessions. 

Personality: - very passive in the beginning , always follows what others say - becomes independent towards the end and doesn’t overly rely on others

On to the design!:

Because of her general nature, I wanted to give her a somewhat generic looking design, a sort of neutral limeblood look. I tried to keep the silhouette of the hair you gave her while also making the hair more troll-y. I gave her horns that resemble her symbol’s curled bits. I also gave her a fuchsia cape to represent the kind of dependence she has. As she develops as a character, you could probably give her a more complex design that stands out more!

-CD

[hskinhome]

could I get an aesthetic for a noncanon yellowgreenblood (between yellow and lime)? I had a violet moirail and worked as a gardener for a different highblood and my moirail would embroider little flowers on my overalls and I had a little treehouse by a pond for hanging out in when I needed some time alone or with just my moirail

I’m on it!

-Mod Nepeta