#yes I did take a completely normal 4 sentence exchange and blow it completely out of proportions and add tons of unnecessary depth

[canarydarity]

at another place in time, II

(Or, I wrote that one small limited life session 1 ficlet from Tango's pov and went "what if I just write a whole series of vignettes from Tangos pov as the season comes out, one for each session," and now have to do that by law. so. welcome to session 2's chosen tango reminiscing vignette)

[part I]

____________________________________________

He stood on the outskirts and watched everyone gather around, and Tango thought, well this is different; maybe it was the rule changes—their timers all counted down, but 19 hours was still more promising than not. It felt wrong to quantify their lives this way, hard to connect that number to the idea of the amount of time he had left to live; right now, it felt arbitrary. Tango was sure that would change as the numbers got lower. Their actions were still dictated by color, but yellow could now attack green and—

Yeah, that was probably it. The first free-to-fight was beginning to act, and this bloodthirsty crew wanted to watch it happen. That didn’t mean Tango wasn’t a little thrown off by the sight of everyone gathered around, a crude ring marked out on the ground. They all cursed the games when they ended, took time to recover from the violence they witnessed—but they forgot that it was violence they cheered for whilst they were playing; or, maybe they didn’t, and that was the problem; the part they struggled to absolve. 

Maybe it was why they all signed up again and again. 

He tuned out Bdubs explaining his rules, focused instead on searching who had shown up. He wasn’t looking for anyone in particular, he just thought he should take the opportunity to get a closer look at the teams that had formed while he had the chance. 

Tango had somehow ended up directly across the ring from the rest of TIES, Etho finishing up flattening out a somewhat-decent circular border, Impulse standing behind Skizz, acting every bit in his corner, patting him on the back and giving all the encouragement a good coach would. 

Scar was whispering to Cleo who had a hand to her forehead as if she were warding off a headache; Martyn and Scott looked properly judgemental and above all that was going on—surely they were too dignified for a fight so unrefined. He couldn’t see Pearl or Bigb, but last he’d heard they’d been taking their role as nosy neighbors far too seriously—if they were here, he was sure they were out of sight, giggling and whispering back and forth. 

He wasn’t looking for anyone in particular, but that just left—

“We’re all standing so close?”

He couldn't help the speed at which he turned his head, he really couldn’t. Tango logically knew Jimmy’s landing on this side of the circle was due to the direction of Bad Boy Mansion, but he’d take what he could get. Joel was further away, picking fights where he could and riling up Bdubs from behind and Martyn from the side. Tango hadn’t spotted Grian yet. Speaking of taking chances…

“Well, if anyone gets too close we’ll just punch ‘em.” He held his breath, but it didn’t take longer than a second for Jimmy to turn his head in Tango’s direction. He was already smiling by the time they made eye contact; Jimmy had a lotta smiles—this was the kind that predated his laugh. Tango decided to take that as a challenge. 

“Yeah, we’ll punch ‘em back in!” Jimmy said. “Just like in the movies.”

Tango nodded, “that’s right!”

“Keep fighting!” Jimmy added in a false voice he probably thought was gruff.

“Get in there and die!” Tango threw back; cruelty that was funny because it wasn’t real, the joke being that this was unlike their true temperament—settings-and-death-game be damned. 

Jimmy got it, he tilted his head back and—what success, because there it was—he laughed. Tango smiled wider and stared maybe just a little; he hadn’t realized how much he’d missed the sound. 

Such as with all things bright and lovely, there was a moment where that feeling—that light and feathered thing—threatened to break out of the cage in Tango’s chest, and he had to look down to wrestle it back under control. When looked back up, across the circle Etho’s eyes were heavy on his. He calmly slid his gaze to Jimmy and then back to Tango. 

Tango cleared his throat. Yup, that did the trick. He shuffled his feet, leaned his weight more to the right, and the distance it put between himself and that laugh was quantifiable in a way Tango felt much more than the numbers in his peripheral. 

Grain had shown up anyway, and the bad boys gravitated towards each other with an ease Tango reminded himself he wasn’t jealous of. He tried to tune back into the event, but the excitement had kind of dulled. 

“BDUBS! It’s you and me brother,” Skizz said, axe leveled in Bdubs’ direction. In a blink, Tango saw a different Skizz standing before him, weaponless and bare, my brothers left me to die. He didn’t dwell. Like he said, it was in a blink—one second there, the next gone; literally—he had the timer to prove it. 

“Yeah right It’s you and me, you want revenge? Here I am, on a silver platter!” Bdubs held his arms out wide, sword in one hand and shield in the other—the cockiest come at me that he could offer. He never knew when to quit, did he? Tango hoped Skizz put him on his ass. 

If not yet a harsh reminder of the time that he has left, the timer served the annoying purpose of counting the kind of seconds that ticked by in boredom. Every painstaking block in a build, every step he took on a long journey, every taunt Bdubs and Skizz sent back and forth that couldn’t be called anything but stalling; all of it cataloged and kept track of—it was the worst reminder that time doesn’t fly in the world (yet).

Tango was sure he’d change his mind about that later, but for now, he suppressed a groan and snuck another glance to the left. 

Grian was offering weak cheers and ripping a loaf of bread to shreds then tossing the pieces around like confetti—or rice at a wedding. The area surrounding their little group was littered with crumbs and chunks of the stuff, and Tango watched as it attracted a chicken, pecking at the ground near Jimmy's feet. When it ran out of readily available food, it started picking at his shoelaces, and Jimmy tried shooing it away with little success; every step back he took, the chicken followed. Tango laughed under his breath as he watched Jimmy wave his hands at the bird again and then look around frantically hoping no one had noticed. 

The crowd suddenly shouted in unison, calls of disappointment and boos radiating all over; the group mentality was also new—Tango knew that wouldn’t last either; once the fight ended, so would their new-found camaraderie. He turned back, but he’d missed whatever it was that had caused the outburst. 

In the quick moment of silence that had followed, Scott said, “Skizz, did you eat an apple?” 

Skizz was the only yellow name amongst them—the only one licensed to kill—and yet, Scott's question charged the crowd and made them every bit the audience above the colosseum, a thumbs down all that was needed to determine his friend's fate.  

Skizz gulped, “maybe…”

The booing began again in earnest, and Tango had never before been so glad for the rules that Grian set. 

“That’s nearly a cheat there!” Jimmy called out. He was an easy target, which Tango knew meant he was always fine-tuned to the things that might warrant being teased—cheating was one of them. A chance to put attention on someone else was always welcome. 

Skizz spun in the bad boy's direction, “how is that a cheat?” Grian raised an eyebrow at the display, but he said nothing; he only liked to play admin when he chose to, not when others thought he should—especially if it was solely for their own benefit. “There’s no rule about not eating golden apples!” 

Tango saw Jimmy’s eyes alight with it at the same time as he felt his own; accidentally or not, they made eye contact. Skizz was technically right, there were no rules about not eating golden apples—at least, not anymore. But he hadn’t been in double life. 

Tango remembered when there were. He remembered waking up in the middle of the night to a knock on their door, answering Jimmy’s worried Tango… by telling him to stay where he was. There’d been no one there, but there had been a golden apple sitting on their porch—someone's idea of some kind of joke that neither of them had found funny. 

He’d been so mad…it wasn’t until halfway through shoving his feet into his boots that he’d heard Jimmy call his name for what he was later told was the third time. 

What are you gonna walk around in the dark ‘til you find who put that there?

He had been willing to if that’s what it took. Somewhere deep down logically he’d known—just like Jimmy did—that he wasn’t going to find whoever had left it, but it wasn’t really about that. He thinks he gets it, now, that it’d been about proving something. 

Maybe if he’d done it then Jimmy wouldn’t have flushed and looked away today. 

Tango was vaguely aware that the rest of the group had moved on around him, that he and Jimmy were really the only ones who’d hesitated at the mention of the apple at all. 

He should’ve gone out anyway, walked around until the sun started coming up—hell, he should’ve started knocking on doors; at least that way, he wouldn’t have had to lay back down and have the conversation he hadn’t stopped thinking about since. 

He’d known there was something coming, and he’d waited Jimmy out patiently to hear the slow drawl of;

If it weren’t against the rules, would you…

It is against the rules, Tango had replied. The wrong answer, he thinks now. But he hadn’t known why they’d been having such a conversation; it was against the rules. Tango would tell Jimmy he was sure as many times as he needed, but he wasn’t going to allow for the kind of negative feedback loop that Jimmy used to punish himself.

But if it weren’t—

No. He hadn’t needed to see Jimmy’s eyes to know that he didn’t believe him. 

He wished he could tell Jimmy that believe it or not his answer still hasn’t changed. 

“Fights over.”

“Hmm?” Tango turned toward Etho—now apparently standing in front of him—but he didn’t quite make it all the way. The scene had changed around them; sometime in his musings, people had started clearing out. The once rowdy crowd had begun to disperse, blood spilled and attention span exhausted. 

“Fights over,” Etho repeated. 

Tango blinked. “Who won?”

But his friend just let out a small huff and started in the direction of home. Tango looked down and kicked a pebble with the toe of his boot. He spared only a glance to the left where the bad boys were heading back towards their own base, donning leather jackets that must be sweltering in the day's heat. He couldn’t hear them, but he could tell Joel was arguing with Jimmy over something from here, watched as Joel reached around and smacked Jimmy on the back of the head, Grian moseying along beside them not caring to intervene. He sighed. 

Tango turned after Etho.

[ghostking1]

I don’t really know what you’re into but I asked some of my other percico shipper friends and we made a list of some of our favs :)

•|| Five Times Percy Broke His Phone and The One Time It Wasn't His Fault ||•

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29524128

• Percy/Nico

• Rated G

• one-shot

• Words: 5,726

Summary:

As punishment for blowing up the Legions armory Leo is sentenced to work in phone repair for the camps. Normally this wouldn't be too bad, phones these days are pretty bulletproof. Unfortunately, he hasn't thought of the extraordinary circumstances Poseidon’s favored son tends to regularly find himself in. This is one battle the Son of Hephaestus is determined to win. Olympus helped him.

•|| Breaking the Ice ||•

https://www.deviantart.com/leukanthes/art/Breaking-the-Ice-Slash-287857101

• Percy/Nico

• no rating, but I guess G bordering T (?)

• one-shot

• Words: 2,574

[No Summary]

•|| Could Never Imagine ||•

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10703658/1/Could-Never-Imagine

• Nico/Percy

• Rating: T

• 46 chapters

• Words: 103k+

Summary: The war is over Annabeth chose to leave camp to allow her soul to heal, leaving a distraught Percy behind. Soon enough though the girls at camp are coming-on to the twice savior of Olympus. Percy however has no intention of finding a new girlfriend. So how will he get them to leave him be? It's a good thing Nico is around.

•|| Family Dinner ||•

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5439187/1/Family-Dinner

• Nico/Percy

• Rating: T

• one-shot/1 chapter

• Words: 6k+

Summary: The fancy invite card read: Welcome to our new home! Please join Percy Jackson and Nico di Angelo's housewarming dinner. Please do not feel the need to bring anything. Dinner begins at 6:00pm. The address is 38501 Sunshine Lane, Long Island.

•|| Can I Clear My Conscience? ||•

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1250188

• Nico/Percy

• Rating: T

• one shot/1 chapter

• Words: 12,222

Summary:

Death Touch: Nico’s powers have gone out of control and he’s killing living beings with a single touch. The only one who can save him is Percy.

•|| Revival ||•

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19287157/chapters/45872164

• Nico/Percy

• Rating: Explicit

• 4 chapters (complete)

• Words: 28,903

Summary:

After the events of The Titan's Curse Nico finds himself struggling to live on the streets. Exhausted, he recklessly uses his powers to take him somewhere safe. He ends up in an unfamiliar cabin and too weak to do anything else he decides to spend the night.

Percy still feels guilty about Bianca's death. He searched and searched for Nico but was unable to find him. Something is sending him visions of the boy though as if to tell him to go find him. At last Nico ends up in a familiar looking place and Percy seeks him out. What follows is something neither of them expected.

•|| on top of the world ||•

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1184790

• Nico/Percy

• Rating: T

• one-shot/1 chapter

• Words: 16,175

Summary:

In which Gaea wins and Percy breaks another promise to Nico, and surprisingly, Nico doesn't mind.

•|| The world will never take my heart ||•

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1712186/chapters/3646085#workskin

Summary:

where Percy and Annabeth break up, and Percy convinces Nico to move in with him and attend Goode

•|| Sensory Love ||•

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12454985/1/Hitome-Chan-s-Sensory-Love

•Rating: M

•words: 237+

Summary:

Mortal AU where Percy and Nico are best friends, but Nico’s feelings run deeper than that.

•|| Coding and Codeine ||•

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12457018/1/Hitome-Chan-s-Coding-And-Codeine

Summary:

post apocalypse mortal AU where Nico meets Percy in a near dead world, and the two travel the US and fall in love

•|| Seasons Change ||•

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/7838989/1/

Summary:

Mortal AU where in Nico and Percy were friends since they were little, but they had a falling out. Nico never recovered from Percy's rejection and neither did Percy. Through a twist of fate, they get a second chance

•|| The love we miss ||•

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1087406

Summary:

Canon divergent fic where Annabeth is killed during the days following the second war

•|| World Traverls ||•

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1649647

Summary:

a series of amazing fics by awanderingmuse which follow an older Percy and Nico

•|| Kiss a boy in Tokyo town ||•

https://archiveofourown.org/works/337259

Summary:

Japan becomes the new location for camp half blood after the fall of the United States.Nico comes to visit percy in Japan

while annabeth is still in the US and things transpire

•|| Tribulations ||•

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2061345

Summary:

Percy and Nico are caught in an argument between two goddesses and are put to the test. They must prove the strength of their bond to survive or lose their freedom forever.

•ll When the river meets the sea ll•

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1171134

Summary:

Nico di Angelo should be his best friend. He looks over, meeting Nico’s eyes; Nico, who looks patient and a little embarrassed for some reason, and he thinks, why isn’t he?

Or: Wherein Nico has an incurable case of being a martyr, Percy grows to hate The Muppets, and Poseidon surprises the both of them with a bouncing baby demigod.

•|| Fire escapes and friendships ||•

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17810015/chapters/42019895

Summary:

“So it’s safe to assume you’re the reason she’s stalking around like she’s just sucked a bag of lemons.”

“She called me today.”

“And?”

“She just wanted to chew my ear off. You know, for ruining all her hard work and design for your cabin. And then for suggesting to Chiron that she shouldn’t be allowed to help with the refurbishment.”

Or where Percy and Nico burn the injustice that is the Hades cabin and Percy takes the blame.

Christmas parties, confessions and cozy death traps

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27748753/chapters/67921453

Summary:

Ah, Christmas! That magical time of year where goodwill permeates the air, gifts are exchanged, and demigods question if they'll be smote down for singing the less secular Christmas carols! But as Nico will soon find out there are far more nefarious threats than carols this joyous time of year, a threat, in the form of an ugly Christmas sweater.

||• percico authors to support ||•

Likegallows

https://archiveofourown.org/users/likegallows/pseuds/likegallows

Bobinthecomments

https://archiveofourown.org/users/BobInTheComments/pseuds/BobInTheComments

Awanderingmuse

https://archiveofourown.org/users/awanderingmuse/pseuds/awanderingmuse

Midnightinjapan

https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightinJapan

anitstar_e(Kailamahine)

https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaikamahine/pseuds/antistar_e

Let me know if you need more~ :)

First of all, thank you so much for these pics. All of these were disgustingly good, like extremely disgustingly good, and I enjoyed them all immensely. But, I figured you'd want to hear my thoughts on them, and because I wanted to share my thoughts on them, so here they are :D

•|| Five Times Percy Broke His Phone and The One Time It Wasn't His Fault ||• -Amazing, a 10/10, one of my favorites, short enough that my attention span never got me distracted, great writing

•|| Breaking the Ice ||• -Another great one, this one blew me away

•|| Could Never Imagine ||• -I loved this one because it showed all of Nico's insecurities

•|| Family Dinner ||• -sooooo cute

•|| Can I Clear My Conscience? ||• -this one was kind of sad but a great healing fic

•|| Revival ||• -showed the Nico living on the streets that we never saw, very well done

•|| on top of the world ||• -dangerous situation where all hope is lost and they can only lean on one another? sign me up

•|| The world will never take my heart ||• -this was a fun fic to read

•|| Sensory Love ||• -this was pretty good, but it had cheating themes which made it hard for me to absolutely adore

•|| Coding and Codeine ||• -loved this au

•|| Seasons Change ||• -this one was a little harder to swallow, it had mature themes in it and there was cheating involved, and I always have a harder time with that

•|| The love we miss ||• -*chef's kiss*

•|| World Traverls ||• -so cute, i love this au, it’s like that could actually happen in the canon book series

•|| Kiss a boy in Tokyo town ||• -percy jackson + japan? yes please

•|| Tribulations ||• -love, love, love, love, loved it

•ll When the river meets the sea ll• -a work of art

•|| Fire escapes and friendships ||• -I really like the change in pov, this fic was really well done

•|| Christmas parties, confessions and cozy death traps ||• -loved embarrassed Nico and the creepy ending

And all the authors you recommended are great! :D

Thank you so much for all your recommendations, they were really fun to read!

[cleverwolfpoetry]

Psycho-pass Movie Novel Chapter 4, part 1

Finally the first part of chapter 4 is done. At the first lines, I had looked at it as a little boring but I was proved wrong. These are the main subjects:

Section 1: A conversation between Gino and Shimotsuki, showing an unexpected side of her. (I liked it a lot!)

Section 2: Akane’s trip on the plane. THIS PART IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM THE MOVIE.

 An interesting fact: As I didn’t remember well how the scene set on the plane was displayed in the movie, I watched it again.

In the movie, while Akane is on the plane, some scenes belonging to chapter 3 of the book appear as flashback images in her mind.

The first image is the conversation with Saiga about the power of will and actions that forge a person’s destiny, set at the prison.

The second image is the conversation Akane holds with Chief Kasei about Shambala float knowing or not Sibyls true identity, set when Akane ask for her the permission to go to SEAUn.

  So…what happens on the plane in the book version? Read it after the stop…  

Note before reading: sentences in italics represent the character’s thoughts.

1

 Tsunemori Akane had left Japan on a jet plane of the Ministry of Defense.

— to track down Kougami Shinya.

— to find out if he had something to do with the crime*.

Ginoza Nobuchika, the enforcer who hadn’t been allowed to accompany her, was on a panoramic terrace at the Public Safety Bureau. He was looking at the city view absentmindedly, somehow sadly.

As the weather was good, the ambience holos were fully operating. An information hologram praising the Sibyl System was fluttering restlessly on the wall of a building. When not showing news, it promoted goods to keep a good hue. Tons of advertisement — newly developed supplements, newly developed diagnostic apps*, the most advanced design accessories to take care of the hues around. To make your colour clear. Well, I also desperately tried to keep my hue in the past…Ginoza mocked himself.

“She’s left, eh? Inspector Tsunemori”

Reached him in that place, Inspector Shimotsuki started to talk to him.

How rare for her to approach Ginoza.                

“Inspector Shimotsuki, are you happy that you didn’t accompany her in the investigation abroad?”

“What? I couldn’t do anything the same”

Shimotsuki made an annoyed face.

“Besides, there are things I will have to do in the future"

“…is that so?”

“The chief allowed Inspector Tsunemori’s arbitrary actions. It’s quite clear that there’s something behind. Our chance will come soon”

“…hee”

Ginoza was secretly impressed. As expected, that’s what people call an elite inspector. She acts in her own way predicting the future.  

“I’ve talked too much with you enforcer…”

Shimotsuki clack her tongue.

“You really hate the enforcers”

Once become a latent criminal, Ginoza had been ready to such a treatment. For this reason, even if Shimotsuki treated him HARSHLY*, it wasn’t a big deal.

“Not the enforcers, I can’t forgive latent criminals”                        

Shimotsuki’s look became stern.

“If we completely destroyed latent criminals, some people wouldn’t die”

“Can’t you forgive Kunizuka too?”

Today’s Ginoza somewhat felt like making bitchy remarks.

Just as expected, Shimotsuki turned pale.

“Why does Kunizuka-san’s name come out now?”

“Oh, I don’t know why…”

“Kunizuka-san…why a latent criminal…”

Shimotsuki heaved a sigh.

“If she was free, what kind of crime would she do?” *

Those words dag into Ginoza too.

If I went free, what kind of crime would I do?

(No, not only me)

Father? Kougami? Shūsei Kagari?              

— Everybody, why were they latent criminals?

Shimotsuki went on.

“Kunizuka-san, she has a high regard for Inspector Tsunemori”

“…yes, she has”

“I failed”

Shimotsuki said biting her lips.

“Becoming an amazing inspector, handling the enforcers well, arresting the criminals who go out of Sibyl System’s framework one after the other…even though that was my only goal…”

“…”

“I wonder why it ended up like this…I do nothing but go wrong…” 

Then she dropped her gaze.

The current Shimotsuki was different from her usual self, just because of a slight blow, she looked like a balloon on the verge of bursting.

She resembles me, Ginoza thought.

(I was always annoyed too)

‘Why can’t I do like him?’ I used to think.*

However, in spite of the similarities, there was a crucial difference between the Ginoza from his inspector days and Inspector Shimotsuki.

Experience. Having or not having experience.

Ginoza and Kougami had the experience of having known each other from the university days. For this reason, even if the antagonism inside the Public Safety Bureau had gotten deeper, there was barely enough sense of trust (maybe the Ginoza of those days would have never admitted). Whereas in Shimotsuki’s case, Tsunemori Akane was close to a ‘wall appeared out of nowhere’*.

“During my studies, my best friend was killed. It seems that somehow the perpetrator disappeared at the hands of the mastermind who worked out the plan…”

“I know. We were in charge of the case”

“The ‘Makishima case’ …the Public Safety Bureau’s most secret affair. When I became an inspector, I could finally get close to that case, if only a little. However, I can’t say that I’ve grasped everything yet”

“There’s something you’d like to say?”

“Kougami Shinya, what kind of person is he?”

“…”

“Both Inspector Tsunemori and Ginoza-san seem to be affected by that man even now”

“We are not affected”

“Though she flew overseas in great haste? Ginoza-san also applied instantly for the permission to accompany her. Only, the permission was rejected. That’s what I’d call ‘be affected’ ”

“Kougami, uh…?”

After some thought, Ginoza answered.

“He is a ‘Citizen Kane’*”

“…yes?”

“In my dead father’s belongings, there was a database with a great number of movies. Only old, not hologram-supported movies. In idle moments, I check them. The last time, I saw that one called ‘Citizen Kane’ ”

“I know it. Orson Wells”

“…”

“Despite appearances, I had the best grades in the prestigious Ousou Academy. Don’t make little of me” Shimotsuki frowned at him.

“…I see”

“Nowadays, they uncommonly study classics there. The masterpieces among literature and movies based on literary works.  From Shakespeare to Tanizaki Junichirou*. Within the limits allowed by Sibyl System” 

Shimotsuki went on.

 “The newspaper magnate Kane dies in his mansion. With his last breath, Kane leaves a word with a hidden meaning, ‘Rosebud’. To solve the mystery of this word, the protagonist goes round visiting the people who were close to Kane”

Ginoza nodded.

“It’s that Citizen Kane”

“How is Kougami Shinya related to that?”

“Citizen Kane is the central figure of the movie. However, he dies just after the beginning. Despite his death, Citizen Kane keeps on being the main character for all the movie”

“Aha…”

“Now, everything about Kougami Shinya is a ‘rosebud’ *”

“Anyway, the mystery around that word was revealed* in the movie”

“What did you get from it?”

Ginoza asked.

“It was a sad ending” Shimotsuki said. “Common at the times when Sibyl System still didn’t exist, the vacuity of human life”

“Tsunemori may  be struggling with such a vacuity just right now”

“Are you saying that the mystery about ‘Rosebud’ may be solved overseas?”

“Yes, just like that”

Shimotsuki breathed out deeply and shrugged her shoulders.

“Or rather, Tsunemori senpai can’t really read the situation…”

“Is it so?”

“Sometimes, it’s her demeanor. There are times when she compares the old Division 1 with the present one”

“…!” Ginoza gasped unconsciously.

“Don’t you think so? I feel like my senior neglects the current Division 1. For this reason, she flies away without even consulting with us all. Whoosh*”

“…”

I guess that’s not Tsunemori’s intention, Ginoza thought.

However — Shimotsuki is sharp, I can’t but admit it.

There’s no meaning in evading the matter this way.

Even if it was unconscious, there may have been such an intention in Tsunemori.

For me, for her — at the end he’s still such a big presence.

Kougami Shinya.

To cut him off, should we meet him one more time?

“Well, it’s all right the same…”

“In the end, I feel like I’ve understood you a little more, Inspector Shimotsuki”

“Ah?”

She openly showed an unpleased face.

“An enforcer who says he understands me. You’re kidding me, stupid” 

 2

 On board the transport jet airplane, the crew space was bare.

As it wasn’t a civilian airplane, the design of both seatbelts and seats was quite rough, taking into account the practical use. In a cabin where there was no one else than her, Tsunemori was sitting alone with a firm look. After some time, the loadmaster Tanohata approached her.

“Well, the reason is that, even if we call it Air Force, it’s essentially an unmanned armed force. It’s been a while since we normally took living guests on board”

Tanohata checked the amount of loaded fuel, the weight of the cargo and the flight plan with his own portable terminal.

“Nothing anomalous” he informed the pilot.

At the driving seats of the transport jet plane there were one human pilot and one drone. The drone pilot dealt entirely with the complex operations. On the front seat, Tanohata also fastened his seatbelt. A loadmaster on a government plane also serves as a flight attendant. The transport plane started to move. From the apron, it headed for the airstrip at low speed. The pilots and the unmanned air traffic control system exchanged information, the road was clear. Moving on the strip, it picked up speed. After a sudden sensation like the internal organs had been forcefully pulled, she understood that the airplane was floating in the air*.  After the takeoff, the speed quickly increased again. At almost the same timing, two unmanned fighters took off to escort the transport plane carrying Tsunemori.

Shortly after, the signal to keep the seatbelts fastened was turned off.

“It’s already ok” Leaving his seat, Tanohata stood up.  

“…” Tsunemori also unfastened her seatbelt.

Freed his body, Tanohata opened the upper luggage rack and pulled out an alloy case. He carried it close to Tsunemori.

“Here you are, the case opens with your biometric authentication, Inspector Tsunemori”

“…?”

Tsunemori received the case in her hands. Just as Tanohata had said, the case was unlocked through the vein pattern and the voiceprint. Inside of that, a gun.

A custom Government* —  an original Colt Government. A weapon developed more than 200 years ago. In addition, a box of 45-caliber ammunition and four spare magazines* were included in the case.

At the Public Safety Bureau, firearms besides the dominator are rarely  used. As for the territory inside Japan, 90% of the gunpowder weapons have been disposed of. The world’s period of chaos and the development of electromagnetic weaponry  — piling up the two main causes, the gunpowder weapons design and performance have been stagnating for a period close to 70 years. I heard that for this reason a weapon whose production started 100 years ago is normally being used overseas even now.  

“Are you uneasy in using a gun different from a dominator?” Tanohata asked.

Surely a dominator is, by far, more performant than a regular weapon. The ‘effective range’ of the lethal electromagnetic waves is wide. The effective range of a bullet tends, by all means, to be ‘a point’ but a dominator is different. It overpowers the opponents with the width of its ‘field of action’.

“It’s an old gun indeed, don’t you think?”

“However, a 45 caliber has its stability. It’s hard to break down in whatever harsh circumstance. Sure is that it’s been entirely restored with contemporary part and it can also operate together with a  holographic aiming device”

“Huh…”

Tsunemori took the custom Government in her hand and pushed the magazine catch*. After checking that the magazine was not inserted, she pulled the slide* and peeked in the chamber*. The chamber was empty too. She pushed the slide stop, a blank shot. To test the feel of the trigger. She had prepared herself in handling a gun before leaving Japan.

“Could it be that you have already used it at the Ministry of Defense? The dominator…”

“It’s not for portable use. It’s provided on the drones. Look, talk of the devil…” Tanohata pointed at the window of the transport plane.

When Tsunemori pressed a finger on the touch panel near the window, a holographic screen appeared and she could check the situation outside. The transport plane was already flying over the sea. In the sea below, some things like black spots were moving, tracing white wakes in the waves.

Tsunemori enlarged the camera view through the touch panel and made sure of the real nature of those things.

The black spots were ships.

“Those…”

“They are the naval forces constituting the national borders defense system of the Ministry of Defense”

“Are they fighting?”

“The opponents are refugees. They head for Japan…the one and only normal country in the world”

On the sea, six smuggling ships modified from large-sized fishing boats. However, the way to their destination had been barred by the unmanned frigates of Japan’s government naval forces. The unmanned frigates kept saying in the language of several countries ‘Japan’s coastline is blocked. The people who wish to enter the country are required to get past customs through the regular procedure’.  

And yet, the refugees’ boats were trying to violate the territorial waters threading their way through the gaps.

The frigates sniped at the illegal immigrants with special dominators mounted on gun turrets*. They detected the people with a high crime coefficient and blew them up showering them with lethal electromagnetic waves. Blown up through a lethal ‘warning’, the common refugees lost their fighting spirit. Panicked, they turned the bow and backtracked. The frigates shot the refugees’ ships which didn’t change course at all with machine guns, as it couldn’t be helped. Going up in flames straightaway, the refugees ships blew up and sank.

“Our home waters are always like this. Even if they get through by good luck, the coastline defense forces are much more unrelenting”

“It’s horrible…”

“They measure the crime coefficient precisely. There also are people with a low crime coefficient among the refugees. In that case they aid them for sure”

“But…”

“If they didn’t act this way, it would be dangerous. Even the peaceful life you have lived is all thanks to this sort of severe activity”   

 NOTES TO TRANSLATION:

 *the crime: the terrorists sent to Japan.

*diagnostic apps: applications (on electronic devices) for diagnostic purpose, probably hue diagnostic.

*HARSHLY: I wrote it in capital letters because in the book this sentence is written with dots above the kanjis to underline it.

* If she was free, what kind of crime would she do? : Shimotsuki is wondering how Kunizuka could be of some harm to anyone if she was freed, she doesn’t understand why she’s a latent criminal.

*’Why can’t I do like him?’ I used to think: In this part, Ginoza sees himself in Shimotsuki, he remembers how he always looked at Kougami, wondering why he couldn’t do things well like Kougami did.

*a wall appeared out of nowhere: it seems the author likes to stress Akane’s self-isolation. It’s stated in the former chapters that Akane scarcely meets with friends because she doesn’t want them to get involved in something bad; Gino says her ‘you’re a mistery as always’ and now this thing of the wall. It really seems like she doesn’t let anyone get close anymore, Ginoza included. I have always wondered what kind of interaction Gino and Akane have. He surely trusts and admires her and she knows how he always worries for the others, but it seems that Akane has a wall that keeps her far from the others and from Gino too. JUST A PERSONAL THOUGHT ANYWAY. That’s what I feel when I read parts like this.

*Citizen Kane: it’s a 1941 American mystery drama film by Orson Welles, its producer, co-screenwriter, director and star.

Plot: In a rich mansion, the elderly Charles Foster Kane is on his deathbed. Holding a snow globe, he utters a word, “Rosebud”, and dies; the globe slips from his hand and smashes on the floor. A newsreel obituary tells the life story of Kane, an enormously wealthy newspaper publisher. Kane’s death becomes sensational news around the world, and the newsreel’s producer tasks a reporter with discovering the meaning of “Rosebud”. The reporter sets out to interview Kane’s friends and associates. Kane’s life is narrated through these interviews, but nothing about ‘rosebud’ comes out. At the end of the movie, back at the mansion, Kane’s belongings are being cataloged or discarded. The reporter concludes that he is unable to solve the mystery and that the meaning of Kane’s last word will forever remain an enigma. In the last scene, the camera reveals that “Rosebud” is the trade name of the sled on which the eight-year-old Kane was playing on the day that he was taken from his home in Colorado. Thought to be junk by the mansion’s staff, the sled is burned in a furnace.

*Tanizaki Junichirou: (谷崎 潤一郎, Tanizaki Jun'ichiro, 24 July 1886 – 30 July 1965) was one of the major writers of modern Japanese literature, and perhaps the most popular Japanese novelist after Natsume Sōseki. Some of his works present a shocking world of sexuality and destructive erotic obsessions. (  (O_O) is this the kind of things taught in Ousou Academy???) Others, less sensational, subtly portray the dynamics of family life in the context of the rapid changes in 20th-century Japanese society. Frequently his stories are narrated in the context of a search for cultural identity in which constructions of “the West” and “Japanese tradition” are juxtaposed.

He was one of six authors on the final shortlist for the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1964, but his death the following year meant he was not considered the following years.

*everything related to Kougami Shinya is a rosebud: in this sentence, Gino means that everything related to Kougami Shinya is a mistery.

*the mystery around that word was revealed: I translated as the mystery was revealed and not solved, because in that movie, the journalist who was in charge of discovering the truth about Rosebud didn’t reach the truth. The camera finally revealed what Rosebud was in the last scene.

* Whoosh: this is an onomatopoeia for the sound of fast motion, running very fast. It’s Mika who imitates the plane flying away.

*After a sudden sensation like the internal organs had been forcefully pulled, she understood that the airplane was floating in the air: this is cute. It seems the description of a child flying on a plane for the first time. Well, this may really be the first flight for Akane.    

*custom Government: it’s a model of Colt gun. 

  *magazine: A magazine is an ammunition storage and feeding device within or attached to a repeating firearm. Magazines can be removable (detachable) or integral to the firearm. The magazine functions by moving the cartridges stored in the magazine into a position where they may be loaded into the chamber by the action of the firearm. The detachable magazine is often referred to as a clip, although this is technically inaccurate. (from Wikipedia)

*magazine catch: it’s a mechanism installed on guns and automatic rifles that serves to remove the cartridge from the weapon.

*slide: see picture below.

*chamber:

In firearms, the chamber is the portion of the barrel or firing cylinder in which the cartridge is inserted before being fired. Rifles and pistols generally have a single chamber in their barrels, while revolvers have multiple chambers in their cylinders and no chamber in their barrel. Thus rifles and pistols can usually be fired even with a detached magazine, while a revolver cannot be fired with its cylinder swung out. The act of chambering a cartridge means the insertion of a round into the chamber, either manually or through the action of the weapon.

*gun turrets: A gun turret is a location from which weapons can be fired that affords protection, visibility, and some cone of fire. A modern gun turret is generally a weapon mount that houses the crew or mechanism of a projectile-firing weapon and at the same time lets the weapon be aimed and fired in some degree of azimuth and elevation (cone of fire).

God, how long is this post? Creating such posts is energy-draining!!! Why am I not good at all at it???

[omicuddler]

Letters of Love (Words of Love Pt. 2)

You asked and you shall receive!! This is probably going to be a series so stay tuned for part 3!

AN: Thank you so much for the overwhelming support and compliments omg! Warnings: more fluff. Did you really expect no fluff from me? I also didn’t have much time to edit because I have to go to work in 30 minutes!

WC: 1720

AU: Hamiltime

1 3 4 5 Masterlist

My dearest (Y/N),

Though it has only been a few days since we have met, you have never left my mind's eye. The way that your eyes light up when we touch on your favorite books leaves me breathless. The way you smile leaves me helpless. And when we touch, I feel electricity flowing through my veins. My heart longs to see you again.

While we have exchanged numerous letters to one another, would you be so kind as to allow me to see you again? I will be in town today with my mother as we need to acquire writing materials as well as food. My wish is that we could possibly meet, even if it is in secret.

Forgive me if that is too forward and rash.

I patiently await your reply.

Yrs.

P. Ham.

As you read Phillip's reply, you can't help but smile and giggle.

You hear your mother calling you, and you quickly tuck the letter underneath your mattress for safekeeping, and to hide it from your parents.

It was lucky enough that they even let you out into town in the first place a few weeks ago. You could tell that they were trying to relax a bit. You saw your mother and father go out on a stroll a few days ago! While it isn't a big achievement, it's progress!

Ever since you met Phillip at the bookstore, the both of you have been writing non-stop to each other. Every few days you would receive a letter, each grander in romantic gestures than the last. You weren't going to lie: you were starting to develop feelings for him.

As you make your way down the stairs, you see your mother waiting for you with a small smile on her face.

"Good afternoon, Mother. You summoned me?", you asked slightly confused.

"Yes, darling. I was wondering if you would like to go town with me. Your father is busy and I believed that you would like another chance to...explore... again.", she said.

You were a bit surprised by your mother's actions, as she normally was the person who preferred to stay home. But you didn't object to this change of character, "Of course, mother! Just let me go and freshen up!"

As you quickly climbed up the stairs to your room, you came to a revelation: Phillip might be in town today! You quickly scribble a response to his letter:

My darling Phillip,

I pray this letter find you in good time and health.

I long to see you again. My heart skips a beat each time I think of you, and your poetic writing and romantic gestures bring a blush to my cheeks.

I will be in town with my mother today, as well. I wish only to met you once more, but I cannot risk my mother finding out about what we have.

If this letter finds you before you leave, meet me in the bookstore where we first met.

Forever Yrs.

(Y/F/I) (L/N)

You quickly run down the steps and to the front door. You open the door and look out into the street, and you see the letter carrier riding past your home. You run up to him, "Good morning sir!"

He sees you and he flashes a warm smile, "Good morning, Miss (L/N). What brings you outside your home this morning? If you are expecting another letter, alas I do not have one.", he says with a sparkle in his eye.

You chuckle quietly and blush softly, "No sir, I was not expecting a letter. But I do, in fact, have one for Mr. Phillip Hamilton. It is of the most urgent matter. If you could please..."

"Of course, Miss (L/N).", he stops you before you finished. You hand him the letter and he places it inside his jacket. He blows slightly to you before galloping away and delivering your letter to the freckled boy.

You run inside and you finally begin to get dressed. You decide to go for something simple but elegant. Emma has fallen ill, so she was not there to help you today. You were beginning to worry about her. You put on your corset and hoop, but you then put on a nice white skirt with your favorite (Y/F/C) blouse.

You then brush your hair and put it in a delicate up-do, with a few strands hanging to frame your face. After you look at yourself in the mirror, you finally put on your shoes and make your way down the stairs to meet your mother.

She looks at you with a small smile and knowing eyes. You tilt your head in slight confusion, "Is everything alright, mother?"

"Yes, my dear. Everything is fine. Shall we be on our way?", she asks while gesturing to the door.

You nod and smile, stepping out into the warm sunlight with her by your side.

As the carriage pulls up to the house, you let your mother get in first and you follow suit. The carriage pulls away and begins its journey into town. Your heart beats faster and faster at the thought of being one step closer to the one and only Phillip Hamilton.

The carriage pulls up to the town square and you thank the driver as he helps both you and your mother step down. You take your mother's hand and you begin walking around, with no particular destination in mind, at least not yet.

As you're walking, you tr to gaze around the square, your eyes longing to met a familiar pair of sparkling hazel ones. You thought that your actions went unnoticed, they didn't.

While you and your mother were walking, you didn't realize that you had somehow made your way to the bookstore. The very same bookstore where you and Phillip met all those weeks ago. You gesture to the store, silently pleading with your eyes to let you go inside. She gives you a small nod, and that was all you needed before opening the door and walking inside.

Once you were inside, you were overcome with the scent of books and the peaceful quietness. You let out a soft smile before you went exploring inside. You turn to your mother and ask, "May I go and find one of the books that I've been waiting for?".

Her eyebrows furrow for a second before she hesitantly answers, "Yes, but if anyone asks, you are to tell them that the books are for your father."

Your mood drops a little, as you remembered that you were special and that not everybody believed that women should be reading the same level of books as men. You nod solemnly before heading off.

As you wander through the aisles, your heart begins to race and your stomach does flips. You decide to falter a little, and let your hands graze the worn spines the many books that were aligned on the shelf.

You would be lying to yourself if you said that you weren't worried. There was always the chance that Phillip wouldn't show up, or maybe he found someone else or...

You were getting lost in your thoughts, just wandering the aisles aimlessly and waiting.

You then heard some footsteps behind you and a voice asking, "Excuse me miss, do you know where the books by Voltaire are?"

You let out a small sigh, "They're in the next aisle on your...", you say while turning around. You didn't get to finish your sentence, as you were pleasantly shocked as to who was behind you: Philip Hamilton.

You smile widely before curtsying, "Pleasure to meet you again, Philip", you say with a blush.

"The pleasure is all mine.", he says while gently kissing your hand with a small smirk on his face.

It took your breath away.

"May I?", he asks while offering his arm to you

"You may", you reply while you take his arm and he leads you through the different aisles.

You both were talking quietly before you hear someone quietly clear their throat behind you. You quickly let go of his arm and you turn around to see one of the most beautiful women you've seen other than your mother.

"Is this her?", you see her ask Philip. Philip then proceeds to nod and smile at you.

Confused you smile at the woman before you, "Forgive me but who...?"

"Eliza Hamilton... Philip's mother.", she says with a smile before hugging you gently. She looks at Philip with a knowing smile and then leaves to browse other books.

You two continue to walk throughout the small store, keeping an eye out for your mother. Philip then stops you and turns to look at you, you immediately fear the worst.

"(Y/N)... I have something to ask you...", he says quietly.

You nervously nod and let out a shaky sigh, "Yes, Philip?"

"(Y/N) (L/N), would you please allow me to court you?", he asks with wide eyes filled with hope.

Your stomach was not doing flips and turns while your heart felt like it was going to beat straight out of your chest. You were in such a state of shock that you didn't reply right away.

"I know it sounds rash, but forgive me. I cannot wait any longer...", he begins

"You may, Philip. You may court me", you say sheepishly with a blush growing on your face.

Philip flashes the happiest and excited smile before you hear two content sighs in the background.

You turn to see Eliza and your mother standing there, and you panicked, "Mother I can explain...", you begin.

"It's completely fine... Philip wrote to me asking for my permission to court you... I know about the letters and what you two have. It's something special...", she says with a kind smile.

"Oh mother...", you sigh happily as you walk over to hug her, "thank you", you whisper into her ear.

You turn back to Philip, who has a small smirk plastered on his face and you let out a giggle. He offers his arm to you once more and you take it. The both of you walk out of the store with your mothers following behind.

You two split off, your mothers talking and you and Philip next to each other exploring what other surprises the town holds.

@love-doesnt-discriminate @hamilton-canyouimagine @wrotemywayoutimagines @fightmeatweedhawken @manuelmiranduh @secretschuylersister

[bad-draft-stuff]

fate goes (on recon)

gggggggggg

Arsé-kun: *The previous conversation pauses for food. It then Very Quickly resumes, as if it had never stopped.* Sheepy: Sherlock: Except I was always a Ruler since Minako accepted me. Sheepy: Sherlock: Before that, I was faking injury. I grew bored of the charade. Sheepy: Eiji: S-so then, do you th...think the culprits.... could, uh... y-you know.... Sheepy: Sherlock: What? Sheepy: Eiji: Fix what they did? Sheepy: Sherlock: Not to be the bearer of bad news, but once circuits are damaged, there's no fixing them. Arsé-kun: Mephisto: *he's floating behind Minako, almost curled around her chair* That's a damn shame! Can we kill em for it? Sheepy: Sherlock: Certainly. Arsé-kun: Mephisto: You're allowing that?! I mean, I've always got bombs ready! Sheepy: Sherlock: Ah, it's not as though I'm allowing it. I'm a detective, after all. Sheepy: Sherlock: Rather, I'm... hmm. Sheepy: Sherlock: Overlooking it. Arsé-kun: Mephisto: I dunno, you might not wanna! What if there's important evidence that I decide to blow up? Arsé-kun: Mephisto: I hope you like ashes and fragments of remains! Sheepy: Sherlock: Oh, of course I wouldn't allow it before I'm done investigating. Sheepy: Sherlock: Although, I guess killing them is a waste of information. Arsé-kun: Mori: And I suppose we do need that information. Sheepy: Sherlock: You see, I've spent quite a few days visiting Chaldea. Sheepy: Sherlock: You probably haven't heard of him, but Yan Qing is capable of disguising himself as just about anyone, including imitating their class. Sheepy: Sherlock: So he could easily spy on the group. Arsé-kun: Mori: Have you gone senile? That man visited here months ago. Sheepy: Sherlock: I wasn't here. Sheepy: Sherlock: You really overestimate me. Arsé-kun: Mori: He pretended to be you. You were both speaking to me. It was awful. Either you've gone completely senile, you're that damn tired, or you're an idiot. Sheepy: Sherlock: It's not senility. Arsé-kun: Mori: And you're no fool. Sheepy: Sherlock: I understand, you want me to sleep. I'll do it when I feel like I need to. Sheepy: Lobo: *he is eyeing Sherlock closely* Arsé-kun: Liz: *she arrives and joins Lobo in this activity. Nothing is said* Sheepy: Sherlock: ... What? Sheepy: Rider: "I want his head." Sheepy: Sherlock: Wh-what are you planning...? Arsé-kun: Liz: I call dibs before you, just because! *she skips over to Sherlock, gets uncomfortably close, and puts her head to his chest* Mmmm, it's a wonder your heart hasn't given out yet~ Sheepy: Sherlock: ..... Sheepy: *Lobo's tail is wagging, despite his growling...* Arsé-kun: Liz: How long do you think it can go when it's out of your chest? It'd be a great metronome at this volume! Sheepy: Sherlock: Would you mind giving me some space? Arsé-kun: Mephisto: That implies she has a mind to begin wit-Ack! Arsé-kun: *Liz backed off Only to grab and tug Mephisto's cape. eat shit. win/win* Sheepy: Lobo: *he stands up and joins Liz * Arsé-kun: Mori: With that, we've learned that if you were a mortal human, Sherlock, you'd certainly be dead right now Sheepy: *Lobo slowly inches towards Sherlock, only to be stopped by Kintaro. The two exchange body language and barks, growls, and whines. Seems like they may be arguing?* Arsé-kun: *Liz and Mephisto are also bantering, pulling on each others' tails and generally complaining. "You can't have his heart to ascend," Liz says. "I don't need it and are you saying he's a demon?" Mephisto shoots back, grabbing her horns and pulling* Arsé-kun: Mori: This is almost a death sentence. Fantastic. I don't have to do it. Sheepy: *Rider silently strides over, Sherlock not even paying him any mind. His focus is on the two bickering parties. They're loud. He's tired. What's that crunching noise. Not important. What's Moriarty saying? Death sentence? More important.* Arsé-kun: Minako: uh, sherlock, Sheepy: Sherlock: What is it? Sheepy: Sherlock: Moriarty, take your hand off of my shoulder. That hurts. Arsé-kun: Mori: *he raises his hands* It's not me. Sheepy: Sherlock: ... ... ... Arsé-kun: *Both Liz and Mephisto shut up* Sheepy: Sherlock: *He looks behind him. You know how Rider actually has more than 4 limbs? Yeah. His six extra limbs are out, and they're twitching unnaturally. Ready. Waiting. His once gloved hands are now claws with thorn-like growths coming from his arms. Sherlock screams. Much like the women in the King Kong and Godzilla movies, he faints.* Sheepy: *...And Rider imitates laughter as best as one without a head can, reverting back to normal with unnatural, grotesque noises to accompany the transformation.* Arsé-kun: Mephisto: Beautiful! A wonderful performance, dear Rider! Five stars! Sheepy: Satoru: Don't you think Rider is cool? Sheepy: Rider: *he puffs his chest out in pride from the compliments* Arsé-kun: Mozart: Thanks, I hate it! Sheepy: Kintaro: ... Ah... That's not golden at all.... Arsé-kun: Mozart: I not only heard it, but felt it resonate within my soul, and let me tell you: It was awful. If it were a silent film, i'd have given it a 7/10. Sheepy: Rider: "What do you give its horror factor with noise?" Arsé-kun: Mozart: If not for my own faults, eight. Crunch, crunch, scream. I did not need to be present to know what occurred. Sheepy: Rider: "That's too bad." Sheepy: Rider: "It seems he's dead, despite his breathing. Can I have his head?" Arsé-kun: Minako: No! And Liz, get off of him. Arsé-kun: Liz: *she grumbles a particuarly colorful complaint but does so.* His bloodstreams are full of caffeine! It tastes like the coffee Hyde mades! Bad! Sheepy: Rider: "Nobody lets me have fun." Sheepy: Rider: "Lobo and I have been growing bored recently." Arsé-kun: Minako: Oh, maybe we can bring you guys after we do.. Uh. Whatever Sherlock was gonna suggest. Sheepy: Lobo: *His tail is wagging verrrrrry fast now!* Arsé-kun: Mori: But is it a good idea? We only have what Sherlock knows to go off of. While that should be enough to get inside, I feel we should have a few recon visits first. Get some assassins in there. Arsé-kun: Mori: .. But I suppose it will have to wait. Sheepy: Rider: "He shouldn't have tempted me." Arsé-kun: Mori: Don't you be that way. You made that decision on your own. Sheepy: Rider: "He needed sleep and I got the job done, didn't I?" Arsé-kun: Mori: It's not the same... Sheepy: Rider: "How different is it?" Sheepy: Rider: "It is not as though I decapitated him." Arsé-kun: Mori: Very. .... I suppose it'll do the job anyways. Sheepy: Rider: "Lobo was going to eat him." Sheepy: Rider: "I think what I did was an improvement." Sheepy: Kintaro: Lobo brought up the agreement I first made with him that he can only go after servants who are endangering Chief and Rulers, but I didn't even know Ruler was a class... this isn't golden at all... Arsé-kun: Minako: Yeah, it's a rare one. It's only got like, three members? Four? Tiny group. Sheepy: Eiji: B-but Lobo is a dog. Sheepy: *Lobo snarls angrily.* Sheepy: Eiji: *SCARY* Arsé-kun: Mori: Lobo, no. Sheepy: Kintaro: He said that he's not a dog and not to have such closeminded assumptions that he wouldn't understand things such as deal making and compromjses. Sheepy: Kintaro: Furthermore, he said that he's had much more experience with people than you've had with wolves, so he has more of a right to make baseless assumptions about you than you do about him. Sheepy: Kintaro: On that note, he says that you advocate hunting, which is his baseless assumption of you. Arsé-kun: Mephisto: Baseless like calling someone a can of tuna? Sheepy: Kintaro:? Sheepy: Eiji: S-sorry, Lobo. Sheepy: *Lobo huffs and sits down.* Arsé-kun: Mori: ... Now that I think about this... Rider, you may be good for doing recon as well. If you'll agree to do so, I suppose I can bring you and Lobo to the scrapyard to decapitate a demon or two. Sheepy: Rider: "How?" Arsé-kun: Mori: How what? Would you be good at it? Sheepy: Rider: "Yes." Arsé-kun: Mori: You can walk through walls and disappear from any guards' sight, you make no sound most of the time, and you would certainly make short work of anyone who tries to catch you. Sheepy: Rider:.... Sheepy: Rider: "Yes." Arsé-kun: Mori: I'm glad you understand. Sheepy: Rider: "Yes." Arsé-kun: Mori: Who would be able to assist you...? Not myself, as much as I'd love to. I'll come for a secondary recon. Sheepy: Rider: "Why?" Arsé-kun: Mori: Why do you think? Sheepy: Rider: "You're the brains and I'm the brawn?" Arsé-kun: Mori: I don't trust my body enough to hold up the entire time. Sheepy: Rider: "Ah, right." Arsé-kun: Mori: .... We don't have much choice in the way of Assassins. Arsé-kun: Mori: ... Convincing one of the two shouldn't be very hard. The other is a risk. Sheepy: Rider: "Other?" Arsé-kun: Mori: The other assassin in question. Sheepy: Rider: "Whom?" Arsé-kun: Mori: Dr. Jekyll, of course. Sheepy: Rider: "I didn't know..." Arsé-kun: Mori: And that's fine. Arsé-kun: Mori: Carmilla can be easily enticed with cat toys and a fish or two from the Lancers' catch. Jekyll comes with Hyde.. Sheepy: Satoru: Hyde sounds like something a serial killer would call themselves in a cheesy slasher movie. Especially with the y. Arsé-kun: Mephisto: Probably because of him! Sheepy: Satoru: Uhuh Sheepy: Satoru: I'm worried about this but I think you'll be okay. Sheepy: Satoru: Grandpa isn't going so it's okay. Sheepy: Satoru: Grandpa is old and old people are prone to joint pain. He'd be in danger of hurting his hip if he went. Eiji isn't old and he's prone to joint pain already, so when he grows old his pain will go away. That's how it works. Arsé-kun: Hyde: Can't survive this either! *he goes to jump onto Eiji, but Mephisto catches him first* Motherfucker! Why the fuck am I bein' namedropped?? What's the fuck in this thread? Sheepy: Eiji:?! Sheepy: Satoru: *gasp* Arsé-kun: Mori: This is the exact thing I was worrying about. Sheepy: Satoru: You said a bad word! Arsé-kun: Hyde: Who cares?? It's fun! Sheepy: Satoru: No! Sheepy: Satoru: Guin will wash your mouth out with soap! She threatened it one day so I've never said a bad word. Ever! Arsé-kun: Hyde: Bah! She won't do shit! Sheepy: Satoru: She's never, ever lied. Sheepy: Satoru: She's not like Sakura. Arsé-kun: Hyde: Like I'll let her catch me! The only way she would is if I wann-*mephisto throws him at the floor and goes Up out of his reach* You stupid floating homo! Sheepy: Satoru: She's strong and fast. Sheepy: Satoru: She has a sword. Sheepy: Satoru: I won't tell her you said a bad word. Sheepy: Satoru: Your secret is safe with me. Arsé-kun: Mori: Do me a favor, Hyde, and put Jekyll on the line. Arsé-kun: Hyde: Fuck off! Do you think we just do this when we want??? I'm here to goddamn party! I'm gonna fucking fu-*he is very promptly cut off by a coffin gun materializing directly above him. Gravity does it's job.* Arsé-kun: Mori: Awful. Downright awful. Don't ever take after him, Satoru. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. I'm going to take after you instead. Arsé-kun: Mori: Fantastic. Sheepy: Tristan: *funeral music* Sheepy: Tristan: We are all gathered here today to laugh at Hyde in his dying moments. Arsé-kun: Mozart: Finally. Sheepy: Tristan: There's nothing positive about him so this eulogy will be short. Arsé-kun: Minako: We could probably think of something. Sheepy: Tristan: Tolerating him is as far as any of us got. It's fortunate we barely knew him, because we'd probably not even be capable of toleration if we knew him better. Sheepy: Tristan: That concludes the funeral service. Arsé-kun: Mozart: I call first chance to piss on his grave. Sheepy: Tristan: Excellent. Sheepy: *Lobo comes over and sniffs Hyde* Arsé-kun: Jekyll: ...?? Uhm..! Hello, Lobo..! Sheepy: Lobo: *Boof* Arsé-kun: Jekyll: What did Hyde do this time..? Sheepy: *Lobo nudges the gun off of Jekyll and licks his face. You have been healed, Jekyll.* Sheepy: Tristan: Ah, be a public embarrassment. The usual. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: I'm so sorry.... He said we were needed for something? Sheepy: Lobo: *boof* Sheepy: Rider: "You're coming with me." Sheepy: Rider: "We're infiltrating an enemy base." Sheepy: Rider: "Carmilla, you, and me." Arsé-kun: Jekyll: Me..? You must be mistaken. I may be Assassin class, but only because I'm difficult to identify as a servant.. Sheepy: Rider: "I'm not mistaken. I never said you had a choice in the matter." Arsé-kun: Jekyll: *he looks to Minako for some kind of escape or mercy* Arsé-kun: Mephisto: *he pops around her chair again* That's the point, Doktor! They won't think you're a threat! Sheepy: Rider: "No harm will come to you." Sheepy: Rider: "Those who even threaten you will lose their heads." Sheepy: Rider: "So, you're at no risk and you get to be a hero." Arsé-kun: Jekyll: ... ..... And if Hyde comes out again? Sheepy: Rider: "Technically, he is a threat to you." Sheepy: Rider: "As I stated, I will decapitate any threats." Arsé-kun: Minako: Rider, that'd kill Jekyll AND Hyde. Sheepy: Rider: "Hopefully that'll convince him to stay dormant until you're done." Arsé-kun: Jekyll: He's trying to claim that he'd... Er... Defeat you in combat. Sheepy: Rider:... ... ... Arsé-kun: Jekyll: I know he'd certainly lose, but I'd like to live! Sheepy: Rider: *He writhes some, and his extra limbs come out once more, accompanied by the noises of bones shifting and crunching.* Sheepy: Rider: "I hope this is enough to convince him otherwise." Arsé-kun: Jekyll: I am not repeating the things he is saying. *he shudders* Sheepy: Rider: "I would like you to live, too. He would endanger you." Arsé-kun: Jekyll: He already does that! Sheepy: Rider: "Your participation is necessary. His participation is banned." Arsé-kun: Jekyll: I understand that. I'll do my best to assist. Sheepy: Rider: "Excellent. And Hyde?" Arsé-kun: Jekyll: ...... I am absolutely not repeating his demands. Sheepy: Rider:.... Sheepy: Rider: "I would say I'd consider them if it meant him not showing up during the mission, but..." Sheepy: Rider: "I have a feeling there's a reason why you're withholding it from me." Arsé-kun: Jekyll: There's no guarantees that he'll keep his word, for one. As for the other... Uh. Sheepy: Rider:.... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maaaster, is there a reason you'r- .. .. *he spots Rider* That's certainly a moodkiller. Sheepy: Eiji: Wh....what.... Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's just a form of hollow magic, Master! He's able to do it due to his class and circumstance. Sheepy: Eiji: But...but... Arsé-kun: Minako: *to Rider* Can I touch your arm?? Sheepy: Rider: *He hold out his arm* Sheepy: Rider: "Did you mean this or the others?" Arsé-kun: Minako: The other ones! Sheepy: Eiji: Th-the noise...it hurts... Sheepy: Rider: "Sure." Arsé-kun: Mozart: That's what I said. I do hope he can remove them elsewhere. Arsé-kun: Minako: *she reaches up to poke one of the extra arms. poke* Sheepy: *It twitches as a response. Gross.* Sheepy: Rider: "Lobo can do something similar." Arsé-kun: Minako: Hehe. It feels like cold jello- Ooh? Arsé-kun: Mozart: Do not! Sheepy: Rider: "It's not extra limbs." Sheepy: Rider: "Just fire." Sheepy: Rider: "It shouldn't bother you, Mozart." Sheepy: Rider: "He doesn't want to show you, though. He's shy." Arsé-kun: Mozart: It's the sound that does, not the contents. Sheepy: Rider: "It's not any of his body parts shifting either." Sheepy: Rider: "There's no noise other than his usual noises." Arsé-kun: Mori: Not inside. Fire can easily ruin the room. Sheepy: Rider: "He's shy so he won't show anyone." Arsé-kun: Mori: Back on topic. We still need Carmilla. ... And to know where, exactly, this is. Which means we're going to have to wait. Sheepy: Rider: "Yes." Arsé-kun: Mori: This in mind, we should meet up again tomorrow to discuss this. Arsé-kun: Mori: That being said, meeting adjourned. Sheepy: Rider: "Yes." Sheepy: Eiji: I w-want to help... but I can't.... Sheepy: Lobo: *he playbows towards Jekyll. Hello!!! I like you!!! Let's play!!* Arsé-kun: Mori: You can, hoping you recall details. Sheepy: Eiji: ...Ah, like a testimony... Arsé-kun: Mori: Perhaps? Sheepy: Eiji: .......... Sheepy: Eiji: I'd...uh...rather... not try to remember it. Arsé-kun: Mori: Fair enough. Arsé-kun: *Lets skip ahead to the following morning* Arsé-kun: Liz: Good morning♪, good morning♪, get the hell out of my roooom♫ Sheepy: Sherlock: ... *he grunts and sits up* What am I doing in here? Arsé-kun: Liz: I couldn't just leave you on the floor! Lobo was looking at you with those big, hungry eyes! Sheepy: Sherlock: But I have a place to sleep. Arsé-kun: Liz: Gil's old couch? Sheepy: Sherlock: Yes. Arsé-kun: Liz: How do you stand it?? It smells like old wine and rust! Sheepy: Sherlock: I have nowhere better to sleep. Sheepy: Sherlock: Which doesn't bother me, since I'm technically taking advantage of everyone by staying here. Sheepy: *Sherlock stands* Sheepy: Sherlock: Let me get out of your way, now. Arsé-kun: Liz: Well then, shoo! I've been waiting to sing all night! Sheepy: *Sherlock quickly leaves.* Arsé-kun: *and Liz breaks into song. She wasn't kidding* Sheepy: Sherlock: *EW* Sheepy: *Sherlock creates as much distance between himself and her singing as he can.* Arsé-kun: *He is quickly joined by others who are also escaping the noise* Arsé-kun: Jekyll: Oh, uh, good morning, Sherlock..! Sheepy: Sherlock: Ugh... Sheepy: Sherlock: Good morning. Sheepy: *Lobo is howling.... is it to block out Liz's singing, or does he think she's howling to talk to him?* Arsé-kun: *or she actually is just howling at this point. it all sounds the same* Sheepy: Satoru: You're such a good singer, Lobo. Arsé-kun: *there is the briefest moment of silence before all hell breaks loose. lobo howling, at least two berserkers screaming, liz also screaming. Mozart found dead in Miami* Sheepy: Satoru: Oh, that's not good. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: Not again. Sheepy: *You know who else is going to join in? Kintaro.* Arsé-kun: *Proto may as well.* Sheepy: *Cu is silently judging.* Arsé-kun: *Cu is, then, judging himself. think about that one asshole* Sheepy: *Cu doesn't care.* Sheepy: *Cu clears his throat and puts his coffee down. He stands.* Arsé-kun: Jekyll: please save us, Cu. Sheepy: Cu: SHUT UP!!! Arsé-kun: *dead silent.* Sheepy: Cu: *he sits down and goes back to enjoying his coffee.* Arsé-kun: Jekyll: Our hero.. Sheepy: Cu: Well, I certainly do like the ego-fluffing, but it was nothing really. Sheepy: Cu: That's just how I feel when I hear that obnoxious idol girl sing. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: And the rest of it...? Sheepy: Cu: It was annoying me. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: Mozart will probably thank you for that service. Sheepy: Cu: Or kill me for being the loudest of them all. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: You did end it.. Sheepy: Cu: That's true. Sheepy: Cu: Just consider it me working from experience. Sheepy: Satoru: I once tried to learn music because Uncle Mozzy was teaching me it. I wonder if my music sounded like that... ... I tried really hard but never got better. Sheepy: Bedi:...What was that...? *Bedi has come downstairs, looking tired. He probably just woke up.* Arsé-kun: Jekyll: A disaster. Sheepy: Satoru: Who's that? Arsé-kun: Jekyll: Huh? It's just Bedivere.. Sheepy: Satoru: No, Uncle Bedi has pigtails. Sheepy: Satoru: He has hair all over his face and it's long. That's not Uncle Bedi. Arsé-kun: *Bedi has been followed by a giant shaggy carpet with legs, which reaches up to Bedi's hair and pulls it back. The only reason we can identify this as Merlin is the flowers on the ground.* Sheepy: Satoru:?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: we didn't do our hair yet. morning, boys. Sheepy: Satoru: It's alive!!! Arsé-kun: Merlin: i sure hope so. Sheepy: Bedi: Of course, this is Merlin. Why wouldn't he be? Sheepy: Satoru: But...! Merlin has a face! Sheepy: Satoru: He doesn't have a face.... Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... *he sighs and pushes some hair out of the way* Sheepy: Satoru: !!!! Sheepy: Satoru: Merlin was eaten by hair! Arsé-kun: Merlin: ...... Satoru.... It's my hair.. Sheepy: Satoru:.... Sheepy: Satoru: *he looks down, visibly embarrassed* Sheepy: Satoru:...Okay. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: ....... Should someone go cook..? Sheepy: Bedi: I- Sheepy: Tristan: No. Sheepy: Bedi: I've gotten better since back then! Sheepy: Tristan: The only thing you can make presently that actually tastes like something is coffee. Sheepy: Bedi: I can make other things! Like...! Merlin, back me up here! Arsé-kun: Merlin: You can make.... Uh... *he's silent for a moment* .... I just remembered a thing. I need to iron my hair. *Merlin exits scene* Sheepy: Bedi: Wh-what is that supposed to mean?! Sheepy: Tristan: It means he admits that you’re talentless in that field. Sheepy: Bedi: Talent means nothing if you’re passionate enough! Sheepy: Tristan: And as do you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he returns, holding an actual iron* What? He can make pancakes and waffles pretty well. Sheepy: Bedi: See! Arsé-kun: Liz: No, he doesn't! Also, that was some nice self esteem teaming right there! Sheepy: Tristan: ...Hmm. Arsé-kun: Merlin: .. Go ahead, Bedi. Show em what you've got. I'm gonna finish with my hair. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... .... Don't look so nervous! Do you want me to help you? Sheepy: Bedi: ...Is that okay? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Of course! Arsé-kun: *and so, Bedi and Merlin take over a kitchen. One of the three in this convoluted house mess. Probably the one in the middle house. It's not Emiya's territory and it doesn't have a giant dog in the way* Sheepy: Lobo: -*Whiiiiiiine* Sheepy: Rider: ... Sheepy: Lobo: *Whiiiiine...* Arsé-kun: *something is thrown at the basement's ceiling. that's vlad telling you to shut up* Sheepy: Lobo: *This annoys him because it shows Vlad is listening to him but ignoring his cries. He lets out a loud howl after dropping the leash on the floor* Sheepy: Rider: *he flips to the next page of his book* Arsé-kun: Proto: Okay, okay!! *enter scene.* I'll walk you, okay?! Sheepy: Lobo: *he stops and picks up the leash, tail wagging. Rider stands up and joins Lobo's side* Sheepy: *Lobo trots over to Proto and drops the leash on him* Sheepy: Lobo: *boof* Sheepy: Rider: *he claps his hands to grab Proto's attention (and probably to annoy Vlad)* "Good luck." Arsé-kun: Proto: For what..? Lobo not running over a car? Sheepy: Rider: "Lobo not dragging you under a car." Arsé-kun: Proto: He better not do that either! *he picks up the leash* Sheepy: Rider: "He might." Arsé-kun: Proto: Please don't! Sheepy: Lobo: *Bawuuu?* Arsé-kun: Proto: I'd like to survive the morning! Sheepy: Lobo: *he huffs* Arsé-kun: Proto: At least let me live until noon? Sheepy: Lobo: *he grunts and tugs at the leash* Arsé-kun: Proto: Okay, okay! Why do I even hold this?? You don't wear a collar! Sheepy: Lobo: *He starts dragging Proto along by using the leash* Arsé-kun: *so you mean he just grabbed the end in his mouth and pulled?* Sheepy: *Yes* Arsé-kun: *fantastic* Sheepy: Rider: "You're not walking him. He's walking you." Sheepy: Rider: "Lobo is the alpha and considers the concept of a collar a sign of ..." Arsé-kun: Proto: ... Being a little bitch? Sheepy: Rider: "Yes." Sheepy: Rider: "I'll be nearby. Dogs aren't allowed to roam without a leash, hence his insistence on you holding one." Sheepy: Rider: "He's a wolf so the laws don't apply to him, but he states that humans are idiots who'll make any incorrect assumptions intentionally if it'll support their general view." Sheepy: Lobo: Bawuu? Sheepy: Rider: "...Ah, that's mostly me, actually..." Arsé-kun: Proto: Well, you're not totally wrong.. But what's a leash gonna do with a giant wolf anyway..? Sheepy: Rider: "He wants to keep his friends healthy by giving them walks." Arsé-kun: Proto: Thanks, Lobo! Sheepy: Lobo: *he scoops the end of the leash up again and puffs his chest out some. He's a good alpha.* Sheepy: Rider: "We had to explain to him that Satoru's too little to be walked because for a while he kept dropping the leash in Satoru's lap and whining." Arsé-kun: Proto: That's a damn shame. Sheepy: Rider: "It's better to have a living Master than to let Lobo walk him. Guinevere and I have been trying to take Satoru out on walks but he refuses to leave the house..." Arsé-kun: Proto: If it weren't winter, I'd take him fishing. Sheepy: Rider: "...He'd probably refuse to go." Sheepy: Lobo: *he lowers his head and begins sniffing at the ground* Arsé-kun: Proto: Oh? What is it? Sheepy: *Lobo pauses and suddenly launches off towards the nearest mailman, snarling as he goes. What do you do, Proto?* Arsé-kun: *Proto digs his heels into the dirt and tries his damnest to stop Lobo. It's kind of a given that he'll fail, but When* Arsé-kun: *Realistically.. It'd either be ten seconds before he's pulled along, or seven seconds and the leash snaps* Arsé-kun: *He's absolutely not ready for this and ends up grabbing at Lobo's fur to hold on* Sheepy: *The mailman throws his mail and runs. Lobo goes after the mail.* Arsé-kun: Proto: *he just clings for dear life* Sheepy: *Lobo stops in front of the mail, drops the leash, nudges the mail some, picks it up, and trots over to Proto.* Sheepy: *...He then dumps the mail on him and sits* Arsé-kun: Proto: ... *he sits up and picks up the mail* Why've you gotta be this way? Arsé-kun: Proto: We don't even need this.. Sheepy: Lobo: *growl* Arsé-kun: Proto: Then why'd you decide to do all that?? *he gets up and drops the mail in the proper mailbox. merry mailmas* Sheepy: Lobo: *growl* Arsé-kun: Proto: Then be more clear next time! Sheepy: Lobo: *whine* Sheepy: Lobo: *he tries to stick his snout in the mailbox* Arsé-kun: Proto: No, Lobo. That's not ours. Sheepy: Lobo: ? *Not ours? But what if...is ours?* Arsé-kun: Proto: Don't you give me that! It's not! Sheepy: Lobo: *he huffs* Arsé-kun: Proto: This is a walk, not a steal! Sheepy: Lobo: *he huffs*Sheepy: Lobo: *he huffs once again and picks up the leash** Arsé-kun: Proto: Thank you! Sheepy: Lobo: *he whines and looks at the mailbox* Arsé-kun: Proto: Noooooo! Sheepy: Lobo: *he begins to trot off* Arsé-kun: *And Proto drags himself after Lobo* Sheepy: *Vroom Vroom! It's a motorcycle!* Arsé-kun: Proto: *he looks around and lightly tugs the leash* Outta the road, Lobo. Sheepy: *Lobo starts snarling at the motorcycle with no intent of leaving the road. Since Lobo's big, the rider (Kintaro) stops nearby because he can actually see Lobo.* Arsé-kun: Proto: Lobo, we gotta let traffic pass..! Sheepy: Lobo: *he huffs and begins scratching himself* Sheepy: Kintaro: Oi, Lobo! That's not Golden of you at all! Arsé-kun: Proto: You want to deal with him..? I still can't do it.. *he throws an arm in the air, tossing the leash with it* Have fun, I'm going home. Sheepy: Kintaro: Eh? You're leaving? Arsé-kun: Proto: I want to, but I know Lobo won't. Sheepy: Kintaro: Here's what to do. Sheepy: *Kintaro lifts up Lobo, who yelps with surprise, and moves him off of the road* Arsé-kun: Proto: I can't do that..! Sheepy: Kintaro: What? Why not? Arsé-kun: Proto: I'm strong, but not that strong! Arsé-kun: Proto: *he grabs onto his other shoulder, frowning* And I think Lobo pulled my shoulder again. Sheepy: Lobo: ? Arsé-kun: Proto: Don't give me that look! Sheepy: Lobo: *he looks at Proto's shoulder* ? Arsé-kun: Proto: *he attempts to get his arm back into his shoulder socket. it hurts, but he manages. Pop!* That! Sheepy: Lobo: *he licks Proto's face. You are cured now.* Arsé-kun: Proto: ... thanks Sheepy: Lobo: *boof* Sheepy: Kintaro: I'd walk him but I'm currently running errands. Arsé-kun: Proto: Darn. Sorry for getting in your way. Sheepy: Lobo: *growl* Sheepy: Kintaro: Well, how about this. Arsé-kun: Proto: :< Sheepy: Kintaro: I'll accompany you until we pass by the store. Sheepy: Kintaro: The Golden Bear and I will then part ways with you when we do. Sheepy: Kintaro: Is that okay? Arsé-kun: Proto: That works. Sheepy: Kintaro: OK. Golden Bear, let's go!! Sheepy: Bear: *bear* Sheepy: Lobo:?!?!?!?!?!?! Arsé-kun: Proto: .. What, Lobo? It's a bike.. Sheepy: *The bike shudders and shifts. It's now a bear.* Arsé-kun: Proto: Eh?! Sheepy: Kintaro: Golden Bear and I are joining you. Sheepy: Kintaro: She's amazing. She can turn into anything. Sheepy: Kintaro: She's Golden fast. Sheepy: Kintaro: She can go 2500 kilometers per hour. Arsé-kun: Proto: Fast... Sheepy: Kintaro: Mhm! Arsé-kun: Proto: Can I...? *he wants to Pet* Sheepy: Kintaro: Sure, she's golden cute. Arsé-kun: *Proto pats Golden Bear. Nice bear. Good bear. Not an asshole like Lobo bear* Sheepy: *Golden Bear is pleased by this. She sits.* Arsé-kun: *This is the highest point of Proto's day so far* Sheepy: *Lobo whines* Arsé-kun: *Lobo can goddamn wait* Sheepy: Lobo: *he stops whining and huffs* Sheepy: Kintaro: She can turn into a truck, but I like motorcycles more. Sheepy: Lobo: *Lobo yawns and begins scratching himself. I-it's not like he cares or anything, b-baka* Arsé-kun: Proto: Can she drive herself, too? Sheepy: Kintaro: Maybe? Sheepy: Kintaro: Probably! Arsé-kun: Proto: Gotta try that someday. Sheepy: Kintaro: Ooh! We should! Sheepy: Lobo: ... Sheepy: Kintaro: Where were you headed anyway? Arsé-kun: Proto: ... Wherever Lobo wants to go, I guess. Sheepy: Kintaro: Oh, the trick to walking Lobo is promising him food if he goes the way you want him to go. Arsé-kun: Proto: That... That would have been great to know Sheepy: Kintaro: Lobo's an avenger and while he's golden cute, he's really irritable unless he loves you. Sheepy: Kintaro: He's easily bribable though. Sheepy: Lobo: *he has his paw out? when will he get his reward?? he is using his technique: Shake. Where is his treat* Arsé-kun: Proto: *he looks up and reaches to try and shake* Sheepy: *Lobo shakes Proto's hand!* Arsé-kun: Proto: When we get home, I'll make sure to take a steak out, just for you. Sheepy: Lobo: ?! Sheepy: Lobo: *he licks Proto's face* Sheepy: Bear: *She's quietly watching. Bears are actually silent creatures who mostly talk in body language and smells.* Sheepy: Kintaro: Now you can go wherever you want. Arsé-kun: Proto: Thanks so much! Arsé-kun: *So Proto and Lobo return home. Lobo gets his steak.* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, you've returned... is your shoulder okay? Arsé-kun: Proto: Maybe? I had to shove it back into place again.. What'd I miss? It smells like pancakes in here. Sheepy: Bedi: I made pancakes. Arsé-kun: Proto: Is there any left?? Arsé-kun: *there won't be much left when the dog is done with it.* Sheepy: *Tristan mourns the pancakes.* Arsé-kun: *tristan, you had your pancakes, shut up* Sheepy: Tristan: *he's playing his harp..* Sheepy: Tristan: Perhaps it's the desperation that I feel, but the light fluffiness of the pancakes give me a strong sense of... ... melancholy? Sheepy: Tristan: Their innocence reminds me of the days back then when we were much like a family. Certainly, our battles always had the chance of leading us to our demises. But... back then, in those blissful days, that thought never occurred to me. Sheepy: Tristan: I guess once the impossibility happened, that layer of purity was stripped away, leaving "what has been and could be once more". Sheepy: Bedi: Sir Tristan, they're growing cold. Sheepy: Tristan: Considering that I am the one who began the downfall of our naively joyful little group, they're right to be cold towards me. Sheepy: Bedi: Your pancakes. Are growing cold. Sir Tristan. You asked me to make them. *There's a huge smile on his face.* Arsé-kun: Lance: *he joins the table crew, pulling up a seat* They appear more edible than anything Gawain had made. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh! Sir Lancelot! Sheepy: Bedi: I'm glad to hear that they're at least somewhat to your satisfaction. Sheepy: Tristan: *he's shut up and is eating his pancakes* Arsé-kun: *THANK GOD* Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin helped a lot. Arsé-kun: Lance: So I heard. I do apologize about the earlier screaming. Sheepy: Bedi: It's fine. Sheepy: Bedi: It's the howling that bothered me. Sheepy: *meanwhile as the knights eat pancakes, mori gets to laugh as sherlock is trapped watching sherlock hound with satoru* Arsé-kun: *and Mori did get his laughs. Now he's just watching because hey, it's material to make fun of Sherlock with* Sheepy: *Satoru's visibly enjoying it because a) Grandpa is here!! and b) Dog Grandpa is on the screen!!* Sheepy: *Sherlock has a small smile on his face. His pokerface. Is he enjoying it or grinning and bearing it?* Arsé-kun: *Only Sherlock knows. Maybe Andersen, but he's not here to state this to the world.* Arsé-kun: Mori: ... I still find it amusing they made you a corgi. Were they calling you short of stature? Sheepy: Sherlock: I'm not. Arsé-kun: Mori: But the insult remains. Sheepy: Satoru: I like corgis. Sheepy: Sherlock: So then, you like m- Sheepy: Satoru: No. Sheepy: Sherlock:...Ah... Arsé-kun: Mori: I didn't even tell him to say that. Sheepy: Sherlock: Are you sure? Arsé-kun: Mori: Quite sure. Arsé-kun: Mori: I think he's still sour over your removal of me from the stories, excuses nonwithstanding. Sheepy: Sherlock: It was necessary. Sheepy: Sherlock: Besides, you can tell him what he missed. Arsé-kun: Mori: I suppose I could. ... Though it would require bringing up the case with the cat and the window.. ... That was almost traumatizing. Almost. Sheepy: Satoru:? Sheepy: Sherlock: Ah? Sheepy: Sherlock: I don't recall this. Arsé-kun: Mori: Sure. Sheepy: Sherlock: I erase unimportant things from my mind. Sheepy: Satoru: That's just you taking credit for the cocaine's hard work of destroying your brain cells. Sheepy: Sherlock: I-... Arsé-kun: *Mori has to turn away and stifle laughter* Sheepy: Sherlock: *he wordlessly stares at Satoru* Arsé-kun: Mori: ... Did you think no one knew about that? Sheepy: Sherlock: Of course, it was in the books. Sheepy: Sherlock: So I didn't think it wasn't common knowledge. Arsé-kun: Mori: It was opium in the novels, you lingering crackhead. Sheepy: Satoru: Watson said he took both in the first book. Arsé-kun: Mori: Ah, my mistake. That's worse. Sheepy: Sherlock: Boredom is more destructive to my brain than drugs. Sheepy: Satoru: That's what drug addicts say. Sheepy: Sherlock: I'd rather you not console me on how to live my life. You're ten. Sheepy: Satoru: I'm almost eleven. Sheepy: Sherlock: Oh? Really? When's your birthday? Sheepy: Satoru: The day I was born. Sheepy: Sherlock: And when was that? Arsé-kun: Jekyll: ...? *he joins this discussion, leaning over the back of the sofa* What is happening here, exactly? Sheepy: Sherlock: Ah. Sheepy: Sherlock: Satoru's decided he's smarter than me because he's nine. Sheepy: Satoru: I'm almost 11. Sheepy: Satoru: And he's using my age as an excuse to ignore my warnings about drugs. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: ... I was under the impression you were already eleven. And he's stubborn. *he frowns* Sheepy: Satoru: Uhuh, I am. Sheepy: Satoru: But I'm almost eleven because I'm not exactly eleven. Sheepy: Satoru: I'm not near twelve either Sheepy: Satoru: So I'm only almost eleven. Sheepy: Sherlock: Tell me one good reason to stop. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: Secondhand smoke may affect others. Sheepy: Sherlock: Hmm. Sheepy: Sherlock: Perhaps. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: Do you want a clown getting high? I don't want a clown getting high. Sheepy: Sherlock: So then, I just don't do it around the young, the elderly, and Mephisto. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: That's most of this household in one fell swoop. Sheepy: Sherlock: Young constitutes anyone 11 or under. Sheepy: Sherlock: Elderly is Moriarty. Arsé-kun: Mori: I firmly dislike how I expected that. Sheepy: Satoru: Grandpa smokes. If you do drugs around him you may be a bad influence on him. Arsé-kun: Mori: I know better than that. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. I believe you. Sheepy: Sherlock: You're old, and apparently impressionable. Sheepy: Satoru: Jekyll, do you know Sherlock? Arsé-kun: Jekyll: I sure do, yes. Sheepy: Satoru: Why? Arsé-kun: Jekyll: Why do I know him? We worked together on the odd occasion when we were both alive. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: That's nice. Sheepy: Satoru: You missed my favorite show. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: Did I? My apologies. Sheepy: Satoru: Don't apologize. I should've invited you. Sheepy: Satoru: Grandpa's in it. He's a dog. Sheepy: Satoru: Sherlock and Watson are in it too, but I mostly watch it for Grandpa. I'm always let down when he loses in the end but that's okay. Sheepy: Satoru: Grandpa's too smart and if he used all of his brainpower against Sherlock, Sherlock would quickly give up from frustration. So Grandpa lets him win because he's a good sport. Sheepy: Sherlock:?! ... *he bursts out laughing* Arsé-kun: Mori: *he looks almost offended. wait, he is.* Arsé-kun: Jekyll: I don't think that was correct. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: So then Grandpa just loses to Sherlock even when he tries? Sheepy: Sherlock: Yes. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: I can't say Moriarty hasn't won at all, but Sherlock does tend to win. Unfortunately. Arsé-kun: *Mori, looking even more bitter,* Sheepy: Satoru: That's okay. Sheepy: Satoru: He'll win next time. Sheepy: Sherlock: What makes you so sure? Sheepy: Satoru: You're running on energy drinks and Grandpa gets beauty sleep, according to Big Bro, but he seemed sarcastic. Sheepy: Sherlock: Yeah, it definitely doesn't show. Sheepy: Satoru: That's what Big Bro said. Arsé-kun: Mori: It's still better than having travel bags under my eyes. Sheepy: Sherlock: I just haven't needed to sleep Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: Mori: Sure. Sheepy: Satoru: You'll sleep a lot when you've died from exhaustion so it's fine. Sheepy: Sherlock: ...How old did you say you were? Sheepy: Satoru: Almost 11. Sheepy: Sherlock: ... ... Arsé-kun: Mori: I had absolutely nothing to do with this. He was reading Dracula when he was seven. Sheepy: Sherlock: His hair's almost the same shade... ... Andersen, are you having a giggle? Sheepy: Satoru: I'm not Andersen, I'm Satoru. Arsé-kun: Andersen: You called? Sheepy: Sherlock: ...Oh, there goes one idea. Sheepy: Sherlock: You're being a bad influence. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Fantastic. Arsé-kun: Andersen: I didn't even do anything yet. On multiple other hands, because I am clearly an octopus in this scenario, you are being an A class idiot, I can almost hear Hyde screaming from here, and do I count as under 11? Arsé-kun: Jekyll: *quietly* good call. Sheepy: Sherlock: No. Sheepy: Sherlock: Only Satoru and Kid Gil do. Sheepy: Sherlock: Kintaro smokes so I'm not counting him. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Great. I'm going to borrow shit off of you. Sheepy: Sherlock: What? Arsé-kun: Andersen: What do you think? Arsé-kun: *And then Andersen ran off to Sherlock's room. Sherlock follows. His stuff is at risk. Again* Arsé-kun: Mori: ... Barring all that, now would be an opportune time to discuss yesterday's plan. Sheepy: Tristan: Ah, I'll bring everyone else in... by the way, why do I smell pancakes? Sheepy: Tristan (Who has eaten pancakes): The other knights are eating them. You should join them - I'm like a torrential downpour on their pancake parade. Sheepy: Tristan: Thank you, odd poet. Arsé-kun: Mori: Good morning, Shinjuku Assassin. Nice of you to join us. Sheepy: Tristan:...What? Arsé-kun: Mori: Who else could you be? Sheepy: Tristan: Tristan. Once I was Sir Tristan of the Round, but I no longer deserve such a title. Sheepy: Tristan(Pancake): It's unfortunate for me to admit, because I enjoyed my time with them, but my past crimes should ban me from being a knight. Sheepy: Tristan: I haven't a clue who this Shinjuku Assassin man is. ... Anyway, I'm going to ask to share pancakes. Sheepy: Tristan(Pancake): *he plops down on the sofa* Arsé-kun: Mori: All right, then. Which of you was it that encountered the great noise of earlier this morning? Sheepy: Tristan: Noise? Sheepy: Tristan(Pancake): Ah, it shook my very soul... Arsé-kun: Mori: Thank you for confirming it's you, Yan Qing. You missed it. It was awful. Sheepy: Tristan: I'm not Yan Qing. Sheepy: Tristan: I don't know who that is. Sheepy: Tristan: I just woke up. Sheepy: Tristan(Pancakes): ...*snrk* Sheepy: Tristan?(Pancakes): *he bursts out laughing* Arsé-kun: Mori: *calculating woman face* Sheepy: *Poof! Yan Qing's disguise is gone!* Arsé-kun: Mori: ... Ah, I see what happened here. You got me that time. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Ahahahahaha! I really fooled you that time, Old Man! Arsé-kun: Mori: You truly did. Don't you brag about it, now. Arsé-kun: *in the bg, merlin informs the knights that it was not tristan that was with them. there's a collective groan in reply.* Sheepy: Yan Qing: I won't, I won't~ Sheepy: Yan Qing: Ah! I nearly forgot! Old Man, Old Man! Arsé-kun: Mori: What? Sheepy: Yan Qing: There's a new ramen place opening up! Let's go soon! Arsé-kun: Mori: Uh. Thanks. Sheepy: Yan Qing:... Sheepy: Yan Qing: Eh, let me rephrase that. Arsé-kun: Mori: Please do. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Buy me ramen! Arsé-kun: Mori: Buy it yourself! Sheepy: Yan Qing: You're rich and I'm not getting paid. Arsé-kun: Mori: That'll be your payment if you help out on a recon mission. Sheepy: Yan Qing: ?! Arsé-kun: *Yan gets the situation explained to him. If Moriarty is lucky, Yan knows where this base is and they don't need Sherlock to find it* Sheepy: Yan Qing: Eh, just that? Arsé-kun: Mori: "Just"? Sheepy: Yan Qing: Just buying me dinner for a mission like that? Sheepy: Yan Qing: It doesn't sound difficult at all, but it does sound risky. Arsé-kun: Mori: The risks of being caught are unnaturally high. Grail mud is involved. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Alright, with that in mind... Sheepy: Yan Qing: Two. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Two seperate meals. Arsé-kun: Mori: Do I look like I'm made of money?! Sheepy: Yan Qing: Well.. Sheepy: Yan Qing:..... Sheepy: Yan Qing: You look like a guy who'd have his face on paper money... Arsé-kun: Mori: Good call. Fine, it's a deal. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Good. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: *he's remained quiet up to this point- Mostly because he started watching a rerun with Satoru. Nice priorities. Hyde approved.* Sheepy: Yan Qing: OK, I'm pretty sure that I know where that is. Arsé-kun: Mori: So we don't need Holmes at all. Thank goodness. Sheepy: Yan Qing: I don't like him. Arsé-kun: Mori: We've derailed. Sheepy: Yan Qing: We've switched trains. Arsé-kun: Mori: We're going to rob both trains. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Yes. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Do you know what I like? Arsé-kun: Mori: Tell me. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Disguising myself as the people I don't like and saying stupid things. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Also, Tepes's hamburgers on the rare occassion I can have one. Arsé-kun: Mori: We can entertain ourselves with such immaturity once you've been successful. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Awww~ Sheepy: Yan Qing: So I'm dragging Four Eyes with me, right? Sheepy: Yan Qing: Anyone else? Arsé-kun: Mori: I'd intended for other assassins to join you, but a smaller group would be better. So no. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Sounds good. Arsé-kun: Mori: Then be careful. Come back in one piece. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Thanks. I'll wait until he's done. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: I'm sorry, are you waiting for me? Sheepy: Yan Qing: Yup! Arsé-kun: Jekyll: Sorry! We can go. Sheepy: *Yan Qing drags Jekyll there, all the while babbling about ladies and nice food he's eaten.* Arsé-kun: *Jekyll pays some attention. You never know if any of it will be useful info* Sheepy: Yan Qing: A woman who loves you for buying her something is very different than a woman who loves you for the feelings you display to her through giving her gifts. Sheepy: Yan Qing: One is a user snd the other loves you for y...ah? Sheepy: Yan Qing: Sh, sshh. Sheepy: Yan Qing: We're here. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: *he nods* Sheepy: *Yan Qing disguises himself as one of the group members and strolls on in* Arsé-kun: Jekyll: ?! What am I supposed to do...? Sheepy: Yan Qing: You do you. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: I'll just follow you.. Sheepy: *Yan goes inside to investigate* Arsé-kun: *Jekyll follows him in* Sheepy: *People dont pay too much mind to them since they aren't suspicious ... yet* Arsé-kun: *This leaves them free to explore. It's very dark and dreary in here. There's nothing incriminating at the entrance.* Sheepy: *Of course not, they aren't stupid.* Sheepy: *Yan Qing does not give up though.* Arsé-kun: *Which means Jekyll must follow him. Let us descend these delightful stairs* Sheepy: *OK!* Sheepy: *Yan Qing descends the funtime stairs!* Arsé-kun: *It's even darker downstairs, only lit by magic lanterns. suffer* Sheepy: Yan Qing: *he squints. He isn't sure about this.* Sheepy: *he sniffs at the air* Sheepy: *As they approach, the once seemingly loud footsteps that accompanied them is muffled by the screaming and cursing of a man. The loud thrashing against metal almost covers up the pained coughing of his companion, but it still rings out among all of the chaos.* Sheepy: Yan Qing:...? Sheepy: *finally, a third man cries out, "AW, SHUT UP! THEY AREN'T GOING TO LISTEN TO YOU AND I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!"* Sheepy: *The two men begin shouting at each other as the coughing fit continues...* Arsé-kun: *A fourth man raises his voice over everyone else, announcing his desire to commit homicide if the others don't stop screaming* Sheepy: *The first man starts yelling at him instead, and the third one groans loudly* Arsé-kun: Jekyll: ..... I'm not entirely sure I wish to be here. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Ah, one of those sounds like the blue one. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: Blue one..? You mean Lancer..? Sheepy: Yan Qing: Yeah. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: They were both home, yes? Unless that is Caster. Sheepy: Yan Qing: ...? Sheepy: Yan Qing: Whom? Arsé-kun: Jekyll: *he starts to say "Lancer Caster" but realizes the issue before he finishes* Caster Cu? Sheepy: Yan Qing: Ah... Arsé-kun: Jekyll: The others I don't recognize.. Sheepy: Yan Qing: ... Sheepy: Yan Qing: What do we do... Arsé-kun: Jekyll: ... I'm not quite sure. It might be dangerous to approach.. Sheepy: Yan Qing: We won't know until we do so. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: ... I'll stay behind you. Sheepy: *Yan Qing strolls on in.* Arsé-kun: *He is immediately hissed at. Someone tries to claw at him from behind bars.* Sheepy: Yan Qing: *He looks around* Ah, ah, calm down. Arsé-kun: Alter Cu: I will not! Let me go before I filet you like a fish! Sheepy: Yan Qing: Sh, sh. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Calm down and listen to me Sheepy: Yan Qing: If you cooperate with me, you might just get out of here. Don't exclaim loudly, now, or someone may notice. Sheepy: Yan Qing: What do you know about the source of the mud? Sheepy: Yan Qing: And what capabilities do 'we' have? Sheepy: Caster Cu: You really are a forgetful kid, aren't you? Arsé-kun: Acu: You idiot. Who here wouldn't know something that stupidly simple? Go break your head on a wall, Caster. Sheepy: Caster Cu: In the end, we're the ones who got trapped in this jail? Now, if I were a Lancer, I'd be able to get out easily... Sheepy: Yan Qing: Ah, me, I don't. Arsé-kun: Acu: Go downstairs and you tell us, stupid. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Downstairs? Arsé-kun: Acu: Get your ass down that hallway. Maybe you'll fall down the stairs if I'm lucky. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Ah, do you want to be stuck here? You'll be lucky if I fall, then. Arsé-kun: Acu: Then I'll kill you myself afterwards. Sheepy: Caster Cu: Why did he have to be public relations...? Arsé-kun: Acu: I changed my mind. He goes first. Sheepy: Yan Qing: But for now, you need to wait. Sheepy: Yan Qing: *he turns towards the hallway* Good luck. Sheepy: Caster Cu: Why me...? Arsé-kun: Acu: Because I am tired of your damn voice! Sheepy: Caster Cu: We have the same voice, idiot! Arsé-kun: Acu: Bastard! Arsé-kun: Jekyll: Maybe we should move on.. Sheepy: Caster Cu: Testosterone-brained butthead! Sheepy: Yan Qing: Mhm. Arsé-kun: Acu: Spineless mangy mutt! Sheepy: Caster Cu: Muscle-brained buffoon! Arsé-kun: Acu: Armorless hippie-looking imbecile! Sheepy: Caster Cu: Spiky nature-defying beast! Arsé-kun: Acu: Stupid dog! You make me look bad! Sheepy: Caster Cu: You somehow took a handsome face like mine and made it ugly! You're a hard worker at ruining everything! Sheepy: Caster Cu: If only you had been anyone else! Arsé-kun: Acu: If only you'd shut the hell up! Sheepy: Caster Cu: You and that idiot berserker kept me from sleeping! Sheepy: Caster Cu: Reap what you sew and stop running from what you've created! Arsé-kun: Acu: Sow! It's sow, you idiot! Arsé-kun: Jekyll: ..... ... *he glances at another cell, but wisely decides to Not Ask* Sheepy: *Hijikata looks extremely angry. Found the Berserker. Okita is curled up in a ball, her breathing ragged. She has Hijikata's coat for a blanket...* Sheepy: *...Hijikata looks ready to kill Jekyll for even looking in his general direction.* Arsé-kun: *No explanation is needed here. Jekyll averts his gaze* Sheepy: *The two head further downstairs!* Arsé-kun: *it has stopped looking like a jail and more like a dark, iron underground hospital. Lots of hooded cultists are scuttling around.* Arsé-kun: *Jekyll shifts a bit closer to Yan. Discomfort* Sheepy: Yan Qing: Ah, it's fine if you cower beside me... you're a blond, so I suppose you're close enough...but you're the wrong gender, too bad. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: ...... ........... *he frowns* Sheepy: Yan Qing: Ah? You don't find it funny? Too bad. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: Just get going..! Sheepy: *Yan Qing does so* Arsé-kun: Jekyll: So what do we do..? Sheepy: Yan Qing: Figure out their weakness. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: Letting the Berserkers free is a significant weakness. Sheepy: Yan Qing: ...So hunt down the keys. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: Right. ... I wonder why they can't simply break the bars. Sheepy: Yan Qing: They're special bars maybe. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: Oh, most likely.. Sheepy: Yan Qing: I'll focus on finding keys. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: All right. I'll try to find useful data. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Thanks. Sheepy: *So Yan Qing hunts for the key* Arsé-kun: *He finds a single key! Just one. It is vaguely labeled as "Devil's Key"* Arsé-kun: *he isn't interrupted.* Sheepy: Yan Qing: *he pulls out the key* Which one of you is the devil? ...Hmm. Arsé-kun: Acu: !! *he rushes to the bars of his cell. he looks EXCITED* Arsé-kun: Acu: You were sincere in your statements! How impressive! Arsé-kun: Acu: I mean, hurry up! I'm going to destroy them! Arsé-kun: *In the background is Emiya Alter, the Lostman, Detroit Emiya, Demiya, etc. He appears to be extraordinarily confused* Sheepy: *Yan Qing unlocks the aCu's jail cell door.* Sheepy: Yan Qing: Have fun, now. I need to look for the other keys unless you know how to break them out. Sheepy: Caster Cu: *he's fast asleep...* Sheepy: Yan Qing: I'm assuming you can't break through the wall or something to get the others... Sheepy: Yan Qing:...Don't actually do that unless you've got a plan on how to deal with all of the people who would show up. Arsé-kun: Acu: I have a few ideas. Arsé-kun: Acu: Are you questioning me? *he heads to the first lock he sees, aka the one on Hijikata and Okita's cell. He then tries to use his spear to pick the lock.* Sheepy: Yan Qing: Oh, no. Sheepy: Yan Qing: I meant it more as "What is it?" as opposed to "Does it exist?". Arsé-kun: Acu: This. *his spear does the barbs thing. The lock doesn't stand a chance. No magic, just spikes. die, lock, die* Sheepy: Yan Qing: Ah. Good job. Arsé-kun: Acu: *he throws the door open* Give me your orders, Demon Commander. We'll make them regret being born. Sheepy: *Hijikata busts the door open upon the lock being removed* Sheepy: Hijikata: Kill anyone who tries to stop us. Arsé-kun: Acu: That is my favorite plan. Sheepy: Okita: Let me help. Arsé-kun: Acu: What are you going to do? Bleed on me? Sheepy: Hijikata: No you can’t, stay with the useless Caster. *he lifts up his gun and shoots the lock off of CasCu’s jail cell* Sheepy: Caster Cu: I’m up, I’m up! Arsé-kun: Acu: Better idea. Keep an eye on the senile lostman. *he rips the lock off of Demiya's cell.* Sheepy: Okita: I’ll keep an eye on both of them- *cough, cough* Sheepy: Hijikata: You, Lostman. You stay with Okita. She’s the only girl in the group. This one, over here. Arsé-kun: Demiya: ... *he looks down at his floor and compares this to what he has written. it matches up, so he nods* Sheepy: Hijikata: Okita. Don’t fight unless you need to. Sheepy: Hijikata: And you, mysterious man, don’t die. Arsé-kun: Acu: Or you can, it doesn't matter. Your buddy is probably dead. Sheepy: Yan Qing: ...! Sheepy: Yan Qing: I forgot all about him. Sheepy: Yan Qing: He’s a servant so he should be somewhat okay, but it’s true I haven’t seen him around. Arsé-kun: Acu: Then he probably wants to be dead. Go find him so we can commit homicide. Sheepy: Yan Qing: No problem. *he goes looking for Jekyll* Arsé-kun: *this takes longer than expected. to get him on the proper trail, there's a convenient blood path. no word on if it's jek's or not* Arsé-kun: *i mean there is probably a way to find out, but it'd take almost an hour. probably. idk.* Sheepy: *He follows the blood* Arsé-kun: *this eventually leads to Jekyll, who's tied down to a table. blood is most likely his* Sheepy: Yan Qing: !? Sheepy: *Yan Qing rushes over to untie him* Arsé-kun: Jekyll: You.. You took your time.. Sheepy: Yan Qing: I was breaking them out. Sheepy: Yan Qing: *he unties Jekyll* Arsé-kun: Jekyll: *he sits up* I guess that's a reason. "I" couldn't bear the wait. Sheepy: Yan Qing: OK, let's go before they kill everyone including us. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: Yes, I agree. I'm not in a condition to join them. Sheepy: Yan Qing: I'll protect you. We're going to stay with the weaker ones. Arsé-kun: Jekyll?: Oh, are we killing them too? Sheepy: Yan Qing: No, of course not. Now let's get going. Arsé-kun: Hyde: *he pulls on Yan's face* Didn't you pay attention at all?? Don't you know Jekyll's famous because of me?? Apologize for being stupid! Sheepy: Yan Qing: Who? Sheepy: Yan Qing: Oh, did you mean the little kid back at home? Arsé-kun: Hyde: I'm Hyde..! Oh, forget it! I'll cut up your prettyboy face later! *he lets go and starts to storm off* Where the hell are the stairs?? Sheepy: Yan Qing: Where? You're in plain sight. ... Well, whatever. Sheepy: Yan Qing: *he begins to lead Hyde to the stairs* Arsé-kun: Hyde: *he irritably grumbles* That's my NAME. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Well, thank you for telling me your True Name! Arsé-kun: Hyde: That's not all of it! No one uses the full thing, Mister Yan Qing! Eat shit. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Here's the stairs. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Old Man better pay me well for this. Arsé-kun: Hyde: We didn't get offered any sort of payment..! Sheepy: Yan Qing: That's because you don't work for Old Man. Sheepy: Yan Qing: So he can gst away with not paying you, you see? Arsé-kun: Hyde: I've got a few words for him, starting with "Fuck!" and ending with "You!" Sheepy: Yan Qing: Well, you never asked to be paid. Sheepy: Yan Qing: I demanded it up front. Arsé-kun: Hyde: I wasn't there, and the other "I" didn't think of it! Sheepy: Yan Qing: You really need to become assertive if you want Old Man to pay you. Arsé-kun: Hyde: Oh, I'll show you assertive..! Sheepy: Yan Qing: You will? Sheepy: Yan Qing: Or is that metaphorical? Arsé-kun: Hyde: Screw what the old man offered you! I'll pay for food tonight! Maybe I'll show you the best places in town to get a guy or gal, too, if you shut the hell up! Sheepy: Yan Qing: Sounds good to me! Arsé-kun: *so they head upstairs. hyde's using the railing like it's the only way he'll make it. he makes the offcomment that all the blood is kinda hot. thank you hyde for your unpopular opinion* Arsé-kun: *they eventually get back to the cells. somehow, mass murder hasn't taken place yet* Sheepy: Hijikata: Finally. Sheepy: Caster Cu: *yawn* Sheepy: Yan Qing: Let's get out of here Arsé-kun: Acu: *he sits up. naptime over* What, no battles? Sheepy: Yan Qing: Well, you can kill anyone we pass by so long as they work here. Sheepy: Yan Qing: You deserve it. Sheepy: Hijikata:...You certainly have an odd way of talking. Arsé-kun: Acu: Wonderful. Let the massacre begin, then. Sheepy: Hijikata: *he readies his guns* Sheepy: *...And rushes upstairs. Follow the leader!* Arsé-kun: *Acu hurries after him, grinning. There's that Happy Cu Face.* Sheepy: *CasCu and Okita (who is guiding Demiya by the hand) follow at a slower pace, with Yan Qing following behind the group* Arsé-kun: *Hyde takes the rear position, mumbling to himself and fidgeting with his knife. Watch your back, Yan.* Sheepy: *Screaming and yelling has erupted. Gunshots roar.* Arsé-kun: *alter cu also screams. a lot* Arsé-kun: *the following floor is bloody and gory. no one is fazed by this. Maybe Yan or CasCu, but no one on my end. Especially not Demiya, who just stares at it with a straight face. nbd* Sheepy: Caster Cu: ..Ugh. I just hope that I don't slip. Sheepy: Yan Qing: *he's grinning like always, but there's something off about it this time.* Sheepy: Okita: *she gently takes CasCu's hand. Now no one will fall! ... Or maybe she did it because she's feeling weak from her TB.* Arsé-kun: *in the background is Hyde taking anything that isn't nailed down- Which is not a lot, surprisingly.* Sheepy: *Yan Qing doesn't comment. That's actually useful.* Arsé-kun: *He's got so much stuff in his arms. Probably including an actual arm* Sheepy: Yan Qing: *Hm* Arsé-kun: *it could be useful for DNA and RNA and all that science shit that Hyde doesn't care about. He just thinks it's funny* Sheepy: *Yan Qing focuses on leaving* Arsé-kun: *this is a good decision* Sheepy: *The group leaves* Arsé-kun: *freedom at last.* Arsé-kun: *Demiya ends up shielding his eyes from the sun, while Acu shakes off the blood. like a dog* Sheepy: Yan Qing: *he sheds his disguise* Arsé-kun: Hyde: Waiting till the last minute to do that, huh? Sheepy: Yan Qing: Aha, with my good looks, all of the grunts would've had their eyes on me. Arsé-kun: Hyde: And weapons. Sheepy: Yan Qing:...Yes. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Could you come with me to Chaldea? Sheepy: Yan Qing: Not you, Seek, but the other ones. Arsé-kun: *Hyde makes an unhappy face.* Arsé-kun: Acu: For what reason..? Sheepy: Yan Qing: To help you. Arsé-kun: Acu: ... I don't care, but they need it. Sheepy: Yan Qing: We'll take them down. You can help. More importantly, Chaldea provides free resources. Arsé-kun: Acu: You've got the mutt's interest more than mine. Sheepy: Caster Cu: You aren't coming with me? Arsé-kun: Acu: Where in that sentence was the word "No," you unrestrained dog? Sheepy: Caster Cu: "I don't care". Arsé-kun: Acu: That was prior to "free things" Sheepy: Caster Cu: ...Uhuh. Arsé-kun: Acu: Are your listening skills worse than your lancing skills?? Sheepy: Caster Cu: It's not my fault that I'm a Caster! Arsé-kun: Acu: No, but you perform better as a caster than you ever did as a lancer! You are an awful lancer! Sheepy: Caster Cu: ?! Sheepy: *...That hit pretty hard.* Arsé-kun: Acu: Are you insulted? Think about it harder with that hamster-wheel brain of yours. Sheepy: Caster Cu: I'd rather be a Lancer...oh, or a Saber! Sheepy: Caster Cu: I haven't tried that out yet. Arsé-kun: Acu: Forget it. *he looks to Yan* I guess I'll come with. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Good. Arsé-kun: Acu: *he looks back to Hijikata* You wanna get her help or what? Sheepy: Hijikata: Take me there. Sheepy: Yan Qing: I will. Arsé-kun: *Acu shifts his gaze to Demiya, and right back to Yan. No words needed* Sheepy: *Yan Qibg leads them to Chaldea. Hijikata ends up carrying an unamused Okita. CasCu focuses his attention on aCu the entire trip.* Sheepy: Hijikata:.... Who are you? Sheepy: Yan Qing: I'm of the Assassin class! Sheepy: Hijikata: No. Your name. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Eeheheheh! That's a secret~! But don't worry, I'm sure you'll find out soon enough, my friend! Arsé-kun: Acu: .. The hell are you looking at, dog? Sheepy: Caster Cu: I don't know, I think a bird. Arsé-kun: Acu: Here, let me ask so you can understand it: WHY. Sheepy: Caster Cu: Oh, I don't know. Birds are good, I guess. Sheepy: Caster Cu: They're tasty when cooked and they look nice from a distance. Arsé-kun: Acu: Look at someone else, anyone else, before I take your eyes out. Sheepy: Caster Cu: What's up with you? Arsé-kun: Acu: ... Too much. Sheepy: Caster Cu: If you need anything, just tell me. Arsé-kun: Acu: You sound like a shop employee. Arsé-kun: Acu: Or a shitty therapist. Sheepy: Caster Cu: Not like a wise big brother? Arsé-kun: Acu: No, not really. Sheepy: CasCu: ...Really? Arsé-kun: Acu: Maybe one that's working forty hours a week to make ends meet Sheepy: CasCu: Oh? Sheepy: CasCu: ... Arsé-kun: Acu: ... Sheepy: CasCu: ...Wait a minute! Why would I want to do that!? Sheepy: CasCu: I don't exist to listen to people's problems for 40 hours a week! Arsé-kun: Acu: That sounds like your last month. Sheepy: CasCu: ....Right. I guess so. Arsé-kun: Acu: Except it was less that and more dealing with us in general. Sheepy: CasCu: Well, yes. But it all worked out well in the end. Arsé-kun: Acu: mhm. Sheepy: CasCu: My newfound freedom is making my head race with what I'm going to do next... Arsé-kun: Acu: Go the fuck to bed. Sheepy: CasCu: Fine, Mom. Sheepy: CasCu: You do that too. Arsé-kun: Acu: I'd love to. Sheepy: Yan Qing: We'll need to find you a room first but then you're free to sleep. Sheepy: Yan Qing: A room together or two separate ones? Sheepy: CasCu: Together, because I need ready access to babysit him so he doesn't break everything. Arsé-kun: Acu: I was going to say the same about you. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Good, that's simple. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Just so you know, don't try to flirt with the therapist...? Whatever she is, don't get the blind redhead drunk, and especially don't talk to the... therapist? with the thought of picking her up in mind. Sheepy: CasCu:...?! Arsé-kun: Acu: You can't say that and not explain. Sheepy: Yan Qing: She's technically single. Arsé-kun: Acu: That's oddly specific. Arsé-kun: *Meanwhile, NO ONE IS BABYSITTING EDWARD HYDE. More specifically, he ran off to do who-knows-what. This being Hyde, he's here to have fun and do stupid shit, so he decided to track down Chaldea's master and approach. "Hey, Ricecakes, I gotcha a weapon! You want it?" He was quickly met with interest from Rice-kun, who "Ooh"ed and "ahh"ed.* Arsé-kun: *This stopped when Hyde gifted them the human arm, grinning from ear to ear. "It's a bludgeoning weapon, you see? It inflicts fear!" Rice-kun stopped, slowly looking back to Hyde. "Is this real..?" they asked, visibly uncomfortable. "It's whatever you believe it is, pal!" Hyde cheerfully responded, dumping the rest of what he was carrying on the table. "Get someone to hand this in! It's got data and numbers and I don't care!" Seeing that Rice-kun didn't reply to this, Hyde started to leave, only stopping to lean on the doorframe. "Maybe now you can give someone a hand!"* Sheepy: Yan Qing: But her servant who's known for brutally murdering people considers her his wife. Sheepy: CasCu:....Oh. Sheepy: CasCu: That's rough. I feel bad for her. Sheepy: Haku: Are you badtalking Tepes? Sheepy: Yan Qing:?! ...Yo, Haku! What's up?! Sheepy: Yan Qing: We were just... uh... Sheepy: Haku: Can I join? Sheepy: Haku: Have you ever noticed that despite his scary outer appearance, there's a lot of little things about him that take away from the scariness factor.... like how fluffy his hair is, or the little ...eh, what's the word, bandana he wears on his head when he cooks? Or anything that pops out of his mouth... in the end, he's not threatening at all. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Are you badtalking him or just gushing about the things you like about him while acting like it's potentially negative?! Arsé-kun: *Demiya continues to add SO MUCH to the current scene. wowza* Arsé-kun: *Acu pulls on Yan's scarf. Impatient* Sheepy: Yan Qing:...Oh, right, the rooms. I'll be back. Don't flirt with Haku. Sheepy: *Yan Qing escapes to get a room for aCu and CasCu* Sheepy: Haku: ? Sheepy: CasCu:...So. Arsé-kun: Acu: Don't. Sheepy: CasCu: Are you here often? Sheepy: Haku: Considering I work here, yes. Arsé-kun: Acu: Are you deaf? Sheepy: CasCu: Oho! What do you do for a living? Sheepy: Haku: Work. Sheepy: CasCu: Oh, right, he mentioned you were a therapist! So if I need therapy, you'll be the one to go to, right? And I'll get to talk to a pretty lady about my problems... Arsé-kun: Acu: .... Do I have to apologize for you thinking with your second brain? Cut it out. Sheepy: CasCu: Hey, what's up with you? Sheepy: CasCu: Idiot. He's saying not to flirt with her so he can. Arsé-kun: Tepes: *he enters scene, forcing a grin and being loud. intentionally* Oh, this is where you went off to, dear wife! I'm glad you found it in you to leave the office, but can you please tell me when you do? Sheepy: Haku: Sorry about that. Sheepy: CasCu: Ehhh... Arsé-kun: Tepes: Oh, am I interrupting something? Do go on! Sheepy: CasCu:...You're into old guys?... Sheepy: Haku:?! Arsé-kun: Tepes: That's not something you ask a lady. Sheepy: Haku: What kind of out there question is that? Is it because you're old? Sheepy: CasCu: I'm not old and your aged appearance surprised me. Sheepy: Haku: Oh. Yeah. Tepes looks old. Sheepy: CasCu: Well, now I'm confused. Sheepy: CasCu: Yan Qing made it out to be that that guy is forcing you to be his wife. So then does that mean you're single or not? What does technically single mean..?! Arsé-kun: Tepes: He did say that? How rude. I'll have a chat with him after this. Arsé-kun: Tepes: And I am not. If she disliked it, she could say so. :< Sheepy: Yan Qing: Yo! I'm back! I've got your room number! Sheepy: Yan Qing: Hey, hey, what's with the upset look? Arsé-kun: Tepes: *he just looks at Yan. you know what you did.* Sheepy: Haku: It doesn't make enough of an emotional impact at this point for me to care. Arsé-kun: Acu: *he grabs CasCu's hood and pulls a little.* It's been three thousand years. We've all wasted away. Sheepy: Yan Qing:...Scary... Sheepy: Yan Qing: Here, have your key. *he gives two keycards to the Cus* Sheepy: Yan Qing: You probably should shoo before you get involved further. Arsé-kun: Acu: Appreciated. You've spared us another ten minutes of this dog barking. Sheepy: CasCu: I've in jail for so long with the only woman in sight not even being my type! Arsé-kun: Acu: See what I mean? Sheepy: CasCu: You're not even taking what I say seriously...?! This is why I need a hot therapist to talk to about my issues Sheepy: Haku: $200. Sheepy: CasCu: Eh? Sheepy: Haku: $200 an hour to talk to a therapist. Sheepy: CasCu:! Costly, but I can afford it! Sheepy: Haku: Okay. I'll call up Tristan later. Sheepy: CasCu:...Isn't that a man's name? Arsé-kun: Acu: Hey, wait. *he tugs on CasCu's hood. shattap for a sec* How much is it for the guy with Altzuh.. ... The senile lostman over here? Sheepy: Haku: Huh? Sheepy: Haku: It kinda depends on how obnoxious he is. Sheepy: Haku: Because Chaldea already pays me, servants don't need to unless they're obnoxious . Sheepy: Haku: In which case, I do to their wallet what Tepes probably wishes he could do directly to them. Arsé-kun: Acu: *snrk* That's understandable. He's clearly awful. Look how much he's definitely speaking. Sheepy: Haku: So in the case of the servant over there, it's free. For you it'd be free. For the caster... Sheepy: Haku:...$300 an hour. Sheepy: CasCu:?! Arsé-kun: Acu: Better make it worth a casino. Or something. Now are you gonna shut up, dog? Sheepy: CasCu:...*sigh* I'm exhausted Arsé-kun: Acu: Can't you answer a simple yes or no? *eyeroll* Let me free you of this burden, lady. *and he drags CasCu out of scene, exit left* Sheepy: Haku: Ah, the annoyance is gone. Arsé-kun: Tepes: *he drops the grin* I was going to initially leave you be, until I heard him harassing you. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Eheheh... Sheepy: Yan Qing: I forgot something! Sheepy: Haku: Thanks. Sheepy: Haku: Yan Qing, wait. We aren't done badtalking Tepes yet. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Your idea of badtalking him is gushing about what you like about him and then covering yourself by acting like it's negative! Arsé-kun: Tepes: You, unlike them, are fair game. You've got about five minutes to make yourself scarce, Assassin. Sheepy: Yan Qing: Why?! Arsé-kun: Tepes: Did you think I didn't hear you before? Shoo. Sheepy: Yan Qing:?!! Sheepy: *Yan Qing flees* Arsé-kun: Tepes: Now we're free of the annoyance. Sheepy: Haku: Too bad, we didn't finish badtalking you. Sheepy: Haku: *she gently takes Tepes's hand* I'm bored and on break, so let's do something fun. Arsé-kun: Tepes: Oh, certainly! What did you have in mind? Sheepy: Haku: I want to bug Dr. Roman. Arsé-kun: Tepes: Only if he isn't busy. Sheepy: Haku: Aw, fine. Arsé-kun: *Lets go bully the good doctor!* Sheepy: Haku: Dr. Roman!! Are you busy? Arsé-kun: Roman: *he VERY quickly switches tabs to an important looking document* Y-yes?? Sheepy: Haku: I saw that, don't worry about hiding it. Sheepy: Haku: People will find out you aren't working anyway once they find out no work is coming from you. Arsé-kun: Roman: *he sends off the important looking document* No, now I'm done working. Sheepy: Haku: Good, I've come to harass you because I'm bored and taking a break for once in a millennia. Arsé-kun: Roman: Then pull up a seat! Sheepy: *Haku pulls up a seat and joins Dr. Roman* Arsé-kun: *is everyone ready for about half an hour of an idol doing whatever she's doing this episode?* Sheepy: Bedivere: Dr. Roman, I have a - Ah, this is the one where I had to stand there and hold a light for him for two hours straight because he couldn't get his lines right. Arsé-kun: Roman: *instant pause and swivel, a maneuver he has mastered, before registering the rest of the sentence* I thought it being him was a big secret? Sheepy: Bedivere: Oh, I didn't notice these two. Sheepy: Bedivere: Well, it's fine, I suppose. Sheepy: Bedivere: Unless you mean I'm not supposed to know, and, well... Sheepy: Bedi: Unfortunately, it isn't exactly that much of a secret considering that the two names are almost exactly the same. Arsé-kun: Tepes: *he honestly doesn't give a damn, meanwhile* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Don't ruin the magic, Bedi!! Sheepy: Bedi: Oh. Sheepy: Bedi: Whoops, sorry. I'm so used to it that there isn't any magic to me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, is this the one I almost went off singing instead of my lines? Sheepy: Bedi: *There's a grin on his face. There's something ominous about it...* Sheepy: Bedi: Ah, I almost forgot about that. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You're cyberbullying me Sheepy: Bedi: How? Arsé-kun: Merlin: At this rate, everyone's gonna know it's me. Sheepy: Bedi: ...Oh, sorry. Sheepy: Bedi: Then, what should I do to make up for it? Sheepy: Bedi: Should I talk about embarrassing things you've done in the past to prove it isn't you because there's no way an idol like Magi Mari would do such things? Arsé-kun: *Roman decides this is far more entertaining, meanwhile* Arsé-kun: Merlin: No!! Or I'll do it to you! Sheepy: Bedi: I have embarrassing stories? Arsé-kun: *Merlin grins. Spoop* Sheepy: Bedi: I don't know what you're talking about. Sheepy: Bedi: You can't threaten me with that if I haven't a clue what you're referring to. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You walked into a glass door. More than once. I still have the tape. Sheepy: Bedi: ... Sheepy: Bedi: ...W-well, it'd be silly to waste my artillery to return that attack... Arsé-kun: Merlin: And so did I. Sheepy: Bedi: There's not much I can do to justify it other than being tired and it being new technology... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Multiple times. Despite knowing it was there. That's also on tape. Sheepy: Bedi: ?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: And what do you mean "new"?! It was glass! Sheepy: Bedi: !?!?!!? Sheepy: Bedi: But! Glass pane windows didn't exist back then! So...! Sheepy: Bedi: Why would I expect glass to block my path? Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's true. Who would? Sheepy: Bedi: You. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, yeah! *he looks back to the group, minus Tepes, who doesn't care* There's a new ep coming out tomorrow, then I gotta film some more. Sheepy: Haku: I don't really understand the appeal. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm cute and I think I'm funny. Sheepy: Bedi: So Magi Mari's only fan is Dr. Roman after all... Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's harsh. Sheepy: Bedi: It is? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I know there are more fans than that! By a long shot! Sheepy: Bedi: Name five people. Arsé-kun: Merlin: The subscription list begs to differ. Sheepy: Bedi: Name five people. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You, for starters. Sheepy: Bedi: I'm not a fan. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, because you help me on it. You're the set manager. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, exactly. Sheepy: Bedi: It'd be narcissistic if I was a fan. Sheepy: Bedi: It'd be like if you were a fan. Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... I feel lazy. You think I can get away with releasing all the blooper reels for a month or so? Sheepy: Bedi: No. Sheepy: Bedi: You've spoiled the content for your only fan. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I didn't say when! Sheepy: Bedi: It'll be easy to tell. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm gonna make it subtle to spite you. Sheepy: Bedi: Good luck! I believe in you! Sheepy: *Bedi is smiling enthusiastically! He knows you can do it, Merlin!!* Sheepy: Bedi: I have come to both bring Hyde back and comment about the situation with the hopes that you have ideas about where we should go next. Arsé-kun: Roman: I got a report earlier saying that he tried to pawn off an arm to Rice-kun.. Sheepy: Haku: Dr. Roman probably can't even decide on what he'll eat for breakfast each morning... Arsé-kun: Roman: Hey! I'm better than that! Sheepy: Bedi: Ah, that's not what I was referring to, but it's technically related. Sheepy: Bedi: Organizations like this are like ants, I suppose. Sheepy: Bedi: Have you ever noticed that no matter how many ants you kill there's always another one there to replace it? Arsé-kun: Tepes: Until you kill the entire mound. Sheepy: Bedi: While the mission was certainly a success in helping fellow Servants, it was a failure in finding the "Queen Ant". Sheepy: Bedi: Yan Qing mentioned that the berserkers went on a killing spree and he was unable to capture anyone who would have knowledge about the higher ups. Sheepy: Bedi: Furthermore, he saw no one who looked important... Sheepy: Bedi:..Meaning that we've lost a very valuable resource this day. Arsé-kun: Merlin: we could summon some ghosts if we need to! Sheepy: Bedi: You'd need names and a face to do that. Sheepy: Bedi: Finally, I've seen no pattern to the servants they've been targeting Arsé-kun: Hyde: This is the last place I'm visiting! *he enters, carrying all those papers and folders, and that arm. Seems Rice-kun didn't like it much* Sheepy: Haku: Finally, someone who does their job around here. Sheepy: Bedi:....Hyde? What's that arm for? Arsé-kun: Hyde: It's a blunt force weapon! Sheepy: Bedi:... Arsé-kun: Hyde: You wanna have a real arm instead of that oven? You can have it! Sheepy: Bedi: You didn't cut that off of someone yourself, right...? Arsé-kun: Hyde: You wanna have a real arm instead of that oven? You can have it! Sheepy: Bedi: And.. certainly, there are times where I feel phantom limb... or when I get fed up with the inherit clumsiness of the Airgetlam... Arsé-kun: Hyde: Sadly! I missed all the fun! I just looted. *he drops the stack of papers and folders (and it's probably not light) on roman's lap. ow* You want it? It's for the low price of free. Sheepy: Bedi: But I'd rather not have someone else's arm... Sheepy: Haku: Great, thanks. Arsé-kun: *Bedi receives Someone Else's Arm!* Sheepy: Bedi: *hrk* Sheepy: Haku: Don't throw up. Sheepy: Bedi: *his face is a mix of horror, fear, and nausea* Sheepy: Haku: Tepes, could you disarm him-.... Sheepy: Haku: I meant take it off of his hands. Arsé-kun: Tepes: Certainly. *he takes it, and exits stage right* Sheepy: Haku: He actually left... Arsé-kun: Tepes: I'll be right back! Sheepy: Haku: You are? Arsé-kun: *Tepes would reply, but he has actually exited the scene. What's he up to? fuck idk* Sheepy: *Hey, Tepes! Who's the brunette there? The one babbling about Christianity to Yan Qing, who looks like he wants to escape?* Arsé-kun: Tepes: *this is perfect, he decides. There's a guy he wanted to punch, and also his senpai. He considers smacking Yan with the arm.* Sheepy: Yan Qing: *he gives Tepes a desperate look* Arsé-kun: Tepes: It's almost like you deserved a talk about how you need Jesus. Arsé-kun: Tepes: No idea. Your horse is trying to eat the tablecloth again. Sheepy: Georgios: ?! Sheepy: *Georgios looks over to Bayard* Sheepy: Yan Qing: ...What're you even talking about... Arsé-kun: *And Tepes takes the opportunity to deck Yan while the horse chews a tablecloth* Sheepy: Yan Qing: Ow! Sheepy: Georgios: ?! Sheepy: *Georgios whirls around, dropping the table cloth* Sheepy: Georgios: Did something happen? Arsé-kun: Tepes: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." *that's all he'll give on the matter* Sheepy: Yan Qing: You punched me! Sheepy: Yan Qing: I didn't punch you! Sheepy: Georgios: Violence is not the answer. If you hurt others, you stoop to their level. Arsé-kun: Tepes: It is considered acceptable to a monster when their wife is insulted. Sheepy: Georgios: ...Well, I can understand you being upset. However. Sheepy: Georgios: If you see yourself a monster, you will become one. You are more than that. Arsé-kun: Tepes: ... You are correct. My apologies. Sheepy: Georgios: No need to apologize to me. Sheepy: Georgios: The one you are hurting is yourself. Arsé-kun: *and then it was Tepes' turn to get religion-blasted. He actually understands what Georgios is saying, so no big deal. also yan has the arm now. cursed arm. hahahaha* Sheepy: Yan Qing: ... *Ugh* Sheepy: Yan Qing: What do you expect me to do with this? Arsé-kun: *Tepes shrugs* Sheepy: Yan Qing: I don't want it! Arsé-kun: Tepes: No one wants it! Sheepy: Yan Qing: Then get rid of it yourself! Arsé-kun: Tepes: Do it for me! I have a wife to be with! Sheepy: Yan Qing: What will you pay me? Arsé-kun: Tepes: With lunch. Sheepy: Yan Qing: .. Fine. Arsé-kun: Tepes: Thank you. Sheepy: *Yan Qing scurries off...* Arsé-kun: Tepes: I apologize for you having to see that, Saint. Sheepy: Georgios: No, no, this is evidence that I must work harder. Arsé-kun: Tepes: ... I was referring to the limb. Sheepy: Georgios: Where did it come from? Arsé-kun: Tepes: I'm not quite sure. A berserker picked it up. Sheepy: Georgios: I see. Arsé-kun: Tepes: Again, my apologies. Sheepy: Georgios: There's no need. Sheepy: Georgios: You were going to return to your wife, correct? Then go do so. Arsé-kun: Tepes: Thank you. *he heads back* Sheepy: Haku: Aw, Tepes is back. Arsé-kun: Tepes: Is that a bad thing? Sheepy: Haku: Well, now we can't trashtalk you. Arsé-kun: Tepes: Not again! Sheepy: Haku: What will I do if I can't do that? Sheepy: Haku: You're always nagging me to take a break and now you won't give me any ideas on how to spend it. Arsé-kun: Tepes: This is what you wanted to do, dear. Sheepy: Haku: Huh? Arsé-kun: Tepes: You wanted to bother the doctor, so here we are. Sheepy: Haku: Ah! Arsé-kun: *and Romani's shit is woefully unflipped.* Sheepy: *Haku sticks a sticker on Dr. Roman while he isn't looking...* Arsé-kun: Roman: What was that..? Sheepy: Haku: Nothing. Arsé-kun: Roman: Hmm.. *he looks away* Sheepy: *Haku waits a bit and then sticks another on him* Arsé-kun: *roman doesn't seem to notice that one* Sheepy: *Haku continues doing it* Arsé-kun: *Haku has not been discovered yet* Sheepy: *So she will continue doing this until Dr. Roman notices her or she runs out of stickers* Arsé-kun: *Roman eventually notices..* Arsé-kun: Roman: H-hey, what's the big deal?? Again?? Sheepy: Haku: There was a bug. Arsé-kun: Roman: That's what you said last time!! Sheepy: Haku: It came back. Arsé-kun: Roman: I can see the stickers! Sheepy: Haku: ... Sheepy: *Haku peels one off of the sticker page and sticks it on Dr. Roman's forehead* Arsé-kun: Tepes: She got the bug. Sheepy: Haku: Uhuh. Arsé-kun: Roman: Are you calling me a bug??? Sheepy: Haku: No. Arsé-kun: Roman: Are you sure?? Sheepy: Haku: You're taller than me, so how can you be a bug? Arsé-kun: Roman: ..... I didn't think about that part. Sheepy: Haku: Exactly. Arsé-kun: Hyde: ---Let me go, dammit! Sheepy: Bedi: You've proven yourself unable to walk in the right direction, so I've come to help you find your way back. Sheepy: Bedi: It'd be worrisome if you got lost, so we'll go back together! Arsé-kun: Hyde: I can tell my left from right! Are you calling me dumb?? Sheepy: Bedi: No, you misunderstand. Sheepy: Bedi: It's neither left nor right. Sheepy: Bedi: It's forward, you see? Arsé-kun: Hyde: The only thing in FRONT of me is this fucking dick wizard! Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, just so you know, his name is Merlin. Sheepy: Bedi: M-e-r-l-i-n. Arsé-kun: Hyde: Cut the sass before I cut you! Sheepy: Bedi: I don't know what you're talking about. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nor do I! Sheepy: Bedi: You have difficulties with names so I was simply reinforcing the memory of his name. Arsé-kun: Hyde: I don't. Caaare. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah? Sheepy: Bedi: What was that? Sheepy: Bedi: You care? Sheepy: Bedi: Well, that's good. Arsé-kun: Hyde: Oh, shut up. Sheepy: Bedi: Talk more? Certainly. Sheepy: Bedi: Do you wish to know a very detailed account of the Hundred Year War? Arsé-kun: Hyde: Shut up, shut up, shut up! Sheepy: Bedi: You see, the Hundred Year War began in 1337. France and England fought the same war off-and-on until 1453. Arsé-kun: Hyde: SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP! Sheepy: Bedi: While the war technically was not a hundred years long, conflicts arose between France and Britain over that 116 year span. Arsé-kun: Hyde: SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP Sheepy: Bedi: The war started due to Charles the IV of France dying without a son. No one truly had a claim to the throne due to how the rules worked back then, so Britain decided that it had more of a right to France's throne than France did. Arsé-kun: *Hyde more or less belts out an agonized scream* Sheepy: Bedi: *...he goes on, ignoring Hyde's complaints.* Sheepy: *This includes a detailed explanation for many of the conflicts...* Arsé-kun: Hyde: ........ I do one good thing in my life, and this is how you repay me? Sheepy: Bedi: Don't you feel enlightened? Arsé-kun: Hyde: I want to die. I'd let Jekyll stab us right about now. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh? You liked it? Arsé-kun: Hyde: Jekyll's already doing badly enough, don't make this half want to die too. Sheepy: Bedi: What happened to Jekyll? Arsé-kun: Hyde: Oh, fun stuff! Got chained down and bloodied up a bit! Kinda kinky if you ask me, but hoo boy! He didn't like it! Sheepy: Bedi: ... Arsé-kun: Hyde: If I hadn't taken the drivers' seat, we'd be doin' a whole lot of nothing! Sheepy: Bedi: So... he's emotionally damaged? Arsé-kun: Hyde: And cowering! Now shut up! Sheepy: Bedi: I see. I will then. Arsé-kun: Hyde: Now can we go hooome?? Sheepy: Bedi: We'll be there when we're there. Arsé-kun: *and then Merlin catches up. Seems he had a few words to give before hopping in the teleporter* Arsé-kun: Merlin: What'd I miss?? Sheepy: Bedi: Apparently, Jekyll is hurt Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh. Sheepy: Bedi: Hyde wants to go home so we should get on top of that. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's rather out-of-character, isn't it? We'd better. Sheepy: *The three head home.* Arsé-kun: *They're greeted by Mozart, who definitely was not drawing a dick in the snow before hearing them approach. Nope. Ignore that.* Sheepy: Satoru: You're really good at making butterflies in the snow, Uncle Mozzy. Arsé-kun: Mozart: ... Ah, thank you. Here, this one will be for you. *and he starts an actual butterfly before looking up* Welcome back. Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you. Sheepy: *Bedi puts Hyde down* Arsé-kun: *This was a fatal mistake. Hyde just lies down in the snow.* Sheepy: Bedi:...Um, did you want me to carry you inside? Arsé-kun: Hyde: .... yeah. couldn't even go the full way, could you? Sheepy: *Bedi picks him up and heads inside* Arsé-kun: *and discovers the actual reason Mozart is Outside within ten seconds.* Sheepy: *Ozy and Gil are being obnoxious. Kogil is playing with Lobo... or trying to. Lobo couldn't care less about Kogil's presence* Sheepy: *By obnoxious, I mean that they're laughing a ton while playing chess. They're about even.* Sheepy: Kogil: You grab onto it and pull. Sheepy: Lobo: *he yawns* Sheepy: Kogil: Okay. Then we can go outside and then you'll chase this ball. Sheepy: Lobo: *he scratches an itch* Sheepy: Kogil: Enkidu! Why is he ignoring me? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: He doesn't like being told what to do. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: He just wants to nap, but these two won't stop howling. Sheepy: Kogil: That's fine. Sheepy: Kogil: They're really annoying Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I can understand why you would think that, young lord. Sheepy: Lobo: *he huffs and stands up* Sheepy: Kogil: There's no need to laugh during chess- Sheepy: *Lobo knocks the table over* Sheepy: Ozy: ?! Sheepy: Gil: What was that for, you oversized mutt? Sheepy: Kogil: Good boy! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Lobo has decided you are both of equal skill, and that this was not the proper way to determine the better of the two. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: That, and he wants to sleep. Sheepy: Gil: What skill does a dog have at judging such things? Sheepy: *Lobo plops down on the fallen chess board. Time to sleep* Sheepy: Ozy: He's like a sphinx almost... Sheepy: Kogil: Oh, I guess he won't want to play fetch for a while...Now what? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Wolf, my lord. He's far smarter than the average housepet. Sheepy: Gil: What's the difference? Sheepy: Gil: One's more barbaric than the other and apparently I should act like wolf is a compliment? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: It isn't a compliment? Wolves are wonderfully social creatures... Sheepy: Kogil: Well dogs act subservient, while wolves generally don't, right? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: That's right. Sheepy: Kogil: So wolves are more willing to be themselves instead of fitting into the social role they've been forced to take on. Sheepy: Gil: I doubt dogs or wolves think of that. Sheepy: Gil: Also, dogs are more social. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: My proper master is a wolf, my lords. I think I know what I am talking about. Sheepy: Gil: I've never cared for them Sheepy: Kogil: You treat Lobo like he's lower than you, but he's still technically a king... Sheepy: Kogil: According to the internet anyway. Sheepy: Gil: Dogs can't be king. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Wolf. Sheepy: Gil: Whatever. Sheepy: Gil: In the end, the only difference is domestication. Sheepy: Gil: He'll play fetch. He plays with dog toys. He snarls at strangers. Sheepy: Gil: He just doesn't bark that often. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: .. A dog could do that as well. Sheepy: Kogil: Really? Sheepy: Kogil: Aww~ I was hoping he would be special... Sheepy: Kogil: Not that he isn't, but I mean in that respect. Sheepy: Lobo: *yawn* Sheepy: Gil: My lions are much better. Sheepy: Lobo: *growl* Sheepy: Gil: Don't threaten me, mongrel! Sheepy: Lobo: *he places a paw on the back of Gil's head (while facing him) and sharply pulls fowards before letting go. Bye Gil. I hope you like the floor.* Sheepy: *And then to shove how he feels about Gil's words directly into his face, he licks Kogil's face and nuzzles Enkidu.* Sheepy: Gil: Ow! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Thank you, Lobo, but I do not think that helped much. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: We do not want unneeded violence between kings here.. Sheepy: Lobo: ? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I'm saying not to fight. Sheepy: Lobo: *whine* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Yes, that counted. Sheepy: Lobo: *he whines again and plops down on the ground* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Please do not. Sheepy: *Lobo yawns* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Am I keeping you up? So sorry. Sheepy: Lobo: *it's nap time* Arsé-kun: *And so, Enkidu returns to his #1 priority and picks Gil up off the ground* Sheepy: Gil: Who taught him to do that...? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Who said anyone had to teach him? Sheepy: Gil: What? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: He's smart. He can figure things out. But are you okay? Sheepy: Gil: Of course. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: That's good. Sheepy: Kogil: *he pops his head out of the door* They're done. Arsé-kun: Mozart: Thank goodness. We'll be coming in shortly. Sheepy: Kogil: Just be careful - Lobo is sleeping. Arsé-kun: Mozart: So keep performances to my territory. Got it. Sheepy: Kogil: Yes, exactly! Arsé-kun: Mozart: Good to know. Satoru, lets head on inside. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: *so they Do* Sheepy: Satoru: Doesn't Lobo need a blanket? He'll be cold... Sheepy: Kogil: Lobo is covered with fur, so he won't be cold. Sheepy: Satoru: Oh! But why does Lobo have fur but we don't? Sheepy: Kogil: Um... We're sort of covered in fur? We've got hair on our body. It just isn't a lot... Sheepy: Satoru: You're right.... you're smart. Sheepy: Gil: Of course! He's a concept of myself! Meaning, I'm smarter! Sheepy: Satoru: Sorry, I didn't mean you when I said that. Sheepy: Gil:?! Cursed Child, who taught you such barb-filled remarks? Sheepy: Satoru: There's no barbs. I don't see any barbs. Arsé-kun: *Enkidu decides not to get involved in this one. He's gonna watch* Sheepy: Gil:...Ugh! I meant it figuratively! Sheepy: Satoru:? Sheepy: Gil: ... Arsé-kun: *Enkidu joins Satoru in just staring at Gil uncomfortably. He's still not involved, he swears.* Sheepy: Gil: Figurative speech. How do you not know figurative speech? Sheepy: Satoru: Figurative speech is when you say something you don't mean and expect the other person to read your mind. Sheepy: Satoru: Metaphorical language is personal to each person, so one person's connotation of a word anf the values it holds may be different than another's. Sheepy: Satoru: Such as, one person may see "My love is like a rose" as a metaphor for its beautiful, romantic nature. However, another may view it as thorny and dying off quickly. Sheepy: Satoru: In the end, figurative language adds one more layer of complication to language that isn't needed and only serves to confuse and occasionally emphasize a point. I prefer to take things literally until the other catches on that I'm not sure what they've trying to say. Sheepy: Gil: You're overthinking things. Arsé-kun: *Background Andersen wipes away a single, manly tear. Kids learn so quickly. He's so proud.* Sheepy: *If Satoru knew Andersen was proud of him he'd beam of joy.* Sheepy: Satoru: So then, what did you mean? Sheepy: Gil: I meant... pointed... no, sharp... ... Just forget it! Arsé-kun: Andersen: It was a sharp retort, a particularly smartassy response. I approve wholeheartedly. Sheepy: Satoru: Oh, okay. Sheepy: Satoru: *he seems somewhat pleased by the last part...* Sheepy: Gil: You are an adult. Act it and be a good influence, not one who praises him when he insults others. Sheepy: Kogil: You're an adult and you don't act it. Arsé-kun: Andersen: At least sometimes. Sheepy: Gil: I do! Arsé-kun: Andersen: Sometimes. You do... Oh, forget it. I get the feeling that now is not the time for me to add insult to injury. Sheepy: Gil: ?! What is it? Sheepy: Kogil: He's being merciful and you're asking for it anyway. Sheepy: Gil: Excuse me? Sheepy: Kogil: Nooothing~ Arsé-kun: Andersen: If I say what I wanted, promise me you'll do no harm to anyone present. Sheepy: Gil: Fine. Arsé-kun: Andersen: While you make a fantastic king and rulemaker, you are downright awful at talking to children. I haven't seen you speak to a single one like they're a normal human being. Sheepy: Gil: That's because they aren't. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Everyone is a fucking child at some point. You idiot. At least everyone normal- Oh! Wait! You refuse to acknowledge your own childhood! Sheepy: Gil: Hah. Hah. Wahahahahaha! Arsé-kun: Andersen: We'll now have ten minutes of that and him pretending I'm wrong. Time for an intermission. I have to piss. Sheepy: Gil: Foolishness! Sheepy: Gil: Cursed Child! Tell me, what is your favorite animal? Sheepy: Satoru: Rhinos. Sheepy: Gil: Clearly, children are not normal human beings! Arsé-kun: Andersen: They're people before people figure out maturity and logic. Now shut up before I take a leak right here. *exit scene* Arsé-kun: *Andersen re-enters scene five minutes later* Sheepy: Satoru: Andersen, is there something wrong with rhinos? Sheepy: Gil: Obviously. They're ugly. Arsé-kun: Andersen: No? Now hippos are another story. We won't delve into that. Sheepy: Satoru: Hippos? Sheepy: Satoru: They're okay. Arsé-kun: Andersen: They're jerks, I've been told. Sheepy: Gil: Rhinos are worse. Sheepy: Satoru: But... I like rhinos... Sheepy: Gil: Rhinos just sit around with birds on them all day. Arsé-kun: Andersen: So what is the issue? They have enough problems as is. Sheepy: Satoru: You don't contribute anything all day too but unlike rhinos you don't even give birds a place to sit. Arsé-kun: Andersen: As much as I'd love to agree, it's inaccurate. Sheepy: Satoru: He gives birds a place to sit? Arsé-kun: Andersen: No, he contributes. Sheepy: Satoru: He contributes? Sheepy: Satoru: Really? Arsé-kun: Andersen: More than I do. Arsé-kun: Andersen: .. And while I like to make that sound like a very low bar, I... *he crouches down, and reaches under the sofa, pulling out two full tomes of writing* Do a lot of work. Arsé-kun: Andersen: This isn't even where I keep my actual publication drafts. This is all scrapped concepts and planning. *he drops them. loud thud* Arsé-kun: Andersen: You can look if you want. I don't care much. I have duplicate copies. Sheepy: Satoru: Huh? That's a lot, though. Sheepy: Satoru: You shouldn't understate your worth, because people might start to believe that's true. Sheepy: Gil: In terms of battling, he's capable of very little. Sheepy: Gil: Writing is his forte, so I technically do more when it comes to contributing as a ... Sheepy: Gil: ... Heroic Spirit. Sheepy: Kogil: You don't. Sheepy: Gil: Shut up, brat. Sheepy: Kogil: You may be strong but you couldn't care less about Minako, so you only use a fraction of your power. Sheepy: Kogil: Meaning, compared to others, you may contribute a lot, But based on your abilities, you don't. Sheepy: Gil: I'm not wasting my energy on fighting her battles more than I have to. Sheepy: Kogil: No, it's because you're still stuck on the Master you actually grew to like. The one you'd do anything for. If you keep comparing everyone you serve to her, you'll keep finding Masters who get fed up with you. Sheepy: Gil: Silence, maggot! Arsé-kun: Andersen: He's not wrong, idiot tyrant. Sheepy: Gil: What do you know? Sheepy: Gil: The only one who summoned you was that disgusting nun. Arsé-kun: Andersen: She was definitely disgusting, I agree. I lived in a box... But that is irrelevant! Arsé-kun: Andersen: But you stay withdrawn with people you don't care about. Arsé-kun: Andersen: And you may or may not be trying not to show if you really do care. Just maybe? Sheepy: Gil: My point is that you know no one better than Minako. Sheepy: Gil: I've had two Masters in my time who have intrigued me. Sheepy: Gil: There's nothing interesting about Minako. Sheepy: Gil: I've simply found no one better yet because they're a rare few in the world of Magus. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Have I said I never had other masters? And so you say. Sheepy: Gil: You've had others? Sheepy: Gil: And simply, all magi have the same types of wishes. Sheepy: Gil: Power. Wealth. To bring someone back. To be what they are not. Sheepy: Gil: These wishes are so dull that I see no reason to help anyone achieve them. Sheepy: Gil: Power should be earned. Wealth should be earned. Death should not be reversed. They should not achieve their career goals artificially. Sheepy: Gil: If thoughts of greed drive their wish, I've got no interest in it. Sheepy: Gil: I've already m- Arsé-kun: Andersen: Lets see: Minako doesn't care about that. Nor that. Or that. And especially that. Wow! She fits all of your standards! Sheepy: Gil: She's pathetic. Sheepy: Gil: In the respect of wishes, there's simply no reason for me to assist her. Sheepy: Gil: As far as I can see, she has none. Sheepy: Gil: Which in my eyes, is worse than a generic wish. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Did you ever consider for ten seconds that this isn't a Holy Grail War? Sheepy: Gil: Andersen. Arsé-kun: Andersen: That's not an insult. I'm already afraid. Sheepy: Gil: For one who acts as though he has brains, he doesn't seem to use it. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Oh, there it is. Sheepy: Gil: Have you ever concerned why humans exist? Sheepy: Gil: It is to achieve their goals and to impact the world, even in the tiniest of ways. Sheepy: Gil: It is to follow their dreams and wish for what cannot be. Arsé-kun: Andersen: And maybe not every single person does these great obvious things. Sheepy: Gil: What is a human without a wish? Arsé-kun: Andersen: Someone who maybe just didn't figure it out yet. Sheepy: Gil: Someone who has no drive if they don't even bother seeking it Sheepy: Gil: I've seen what it's like for a Master to question their reason for existence. Their wish. Their purpose for fighting. It is this question that should drive them if they haven't come up with rhe answer. Sheepy: Gil: One who doesn't even go so far as to ask this question is not worth my time. There are many others out rhere who lust for my power but I've decided to give her a chance. Sheepy: Gil: I could leave at any time as I please, so the question stands: Will she try to find her dream before I give up on her? Arsé-kun: Andersen: Fuck if I know. Why don't you get off your ass and ask her yourself? Sheepy: Gil: You're the one who can read others. Arsé-kun: Andersen: I can't do it from four rooms away. Sheepy: Gil: So you've only interacted with her from four rooms away? Arsé-kun: Andersen: I never read about that detail! I can't do it if I can't see her! You read with your eyes! Sheepy: Gil: Fine, fine. Sheepy: Gil: Then I will speak with her. Sheepy: *Gil goes to talk to Minako* Sheepy: Gil: Mongrel! Arsé-kun: *Mink is... Not eating, for once. She's sorting craft essence cards* Arsé-kun: Minako: Mongrel! Sheepy: Gil: It is time to put those down and speak to your king! Sheepy: Gil: For my message is much more important than my usual very important statements. Arsé-kun: Minako: We're already speaking! How important could it be? Sheepy: Gil: I have closely examined your progress as a human since I have allowed you to have the honor of my presence. Arsé-kun: Minako: Am I getting a report card? Sheepy: Gil: You've given me no choice but to propose a challenge. Arsé-kun: Minako: Don't make me write an essay Sheepy: Gil: If you do not try to find your wish - what you would fight a Holy Grail War for - I will abandon you. Sheepy: Gil: That is my final decision, Mutt! Do not try to argue for lenience! Arsé-kun: Minako: What I would fight for? Other than keeping you guys alive? Hmmm.. Arsé-kun: Minako: Do I need an answer now? Sheepy: Gil: Foolishness. Sheepy: Gil: We fight for what you believe in. Sheepy: Gil: For what you dream of. Sheepy: Gil: If you wish to keep us alive, you should have never summoned us in the first place. Sheepy: Gil: However. I do not expect an immediate answer. Arsé-kun: Minako: Great. I can't keep up with a royal's sudden ability to spout philosophy! Sheepy: Gil: Hah. You must understand. Sheepy: Gil: Much like a Holy Grail War, those you fight all have a reason for fighting. Sheepy: Gil: Perhaps it's to accomplish a goal or to protect what they already have. Sheepy: Gil: You, a woman with no reason past your view of justice, will be consumed by their greed and fear. Sheepy: Gil: Greed and fear are more powerful than an artificial state like justice. Sheepy: Gil: For this reason, it's a waste for me to assist you because without a dream you'll die no matter what I do. Sheepy: Gil: Furthermore, your fighting without a reason past justice is selfishly stealing away the chance those you fight have to grant their wish. Arsé-kun: Minako: *she's thinking. this might take a few minutes* Arsé-kun: Minako: I'd like to keep what I have. We magus don't tend to live long. Arsé-kun: Minako: I'd go for a great hero of justice route, but I know better than that. Emiya's explained enough to shoot that down. Arsé-kun: Minako: The world doesn't need any major changes, and neither do we. Arsé-kun: Minako: And of course, we're not going full on world conquering. Too much work when you're at the top! Sheepy: Gil:...Hm. Sheepy: Gil: So then, you've got nothing? Sheepy: Gil: I see. Sheepy: Gil: That's unfortunate. Sheepy: Gil: You, the Magus, have no wish. I, however, do: to have a different Master. Arsé-kun: Minako: When did I say I was done thinking about it? You said I didn't need an immediate answer! Arsé-kun: Minako: And you don't need to be such a bully! If you want someone else so bad, why'd you come to me, huh? Sheepy: Gil: Because the one I want I can't have. Sheepy: Gil: Everything else in this world I can snatch up with ease. Arsé-kun: Minako: You can't grab grail mud, though. *she picks the ce cards back up and starts shuffling through them* Sheepy: Gil: I don't want grail mud. Arsé-kun: Minako: You want a ce with a cute kid on it? I have a bunch of those. Sheepy: Gil: What's that supposed to mean? Arsé-kun: Minako: One of these is good for crits, so it might help you out a bit? Arsé-kun: *Gil is handed Victor of the Moon and Another Ending* Sheepy: Gil: ... Arsé-kun: Minako: ... These are the ones you wanted, right? Sheepy: Gil: How did you know? Arsé-kun: Minako: You're not very subtle. Sheepy: Gil: ... Sheepy: Gil: I see. I should fix this, then. Arsé-kun: Minako: If you want to? I thought it was cute. Sheepy: Gil: Thought what was cute? Arsé-kun: Minako: The face you make when you see something you like! You look so excited! It's cute! Sheepy: Gil: Foolishness! I do no such thing! Arsé-kun: Minako: Okaaaayyyyy~ Sheepy: Gil: Do not speak lies like this? Sheepy: Gil: Do not speak like you know me, mutt! Arsé-kun: Minako: Make me? Sheepy: Gil: You know nothing Sheepy: Gil: And yet, you act like an expert. Arsé-kun: Minako: Well, yeah. You'll trample on me otherwise..! Sheepy: Gil: Trample? Arsé-kun: Minako: *she deepens her voice, which does nothing to make her sound similar to Gil* "Shut up, peasant, you're clueless and a peasant! I'm the king, I have a bigger brain, I don't have to listen to you! Huuuuurr, I'm gonna bone the king of Camelot!" Sheepy: Gil:...Hm. Arsé-kun: Minako: Something like that, but worded more eloquently and with you laughing for three hours. Sheepy: Gil: Would you rather I not inform you of what you must learn, and allow you to flounder instead? Arsé-kun: Minako: Oh, you can! Can't I tease you a little? Sheepy: Gil: You'll have to do better than that. Sheepy: Gil: A king must be wise yet cruel. If his subjects do not know their places, he will be overthrown. Sheepy: Gil: Being sweet and lovable like that brat shows weakness. Sheepy: Gil: Furthermore! I have had everything I've wished for in my life! The King of Knights has evaded me again and again. Her not throwing herself into my arms, yet being cruel by leading me on and then leaving is her most attractive trait. Arsé-kun: Minako: Gil, uh... If you catch her, then what are you gonna do? Did you think this through? You gonna let her loose in the forest and hunt her down like prey for fun? Sheepy: Gil: Foolishness. She is uncatchable, meaning that I can't catch her. Arsé-kun: Minako: You sure caught her that one night. Sheepy: Gil: Yes, yes. Sheepy: Gil: That is to give me occasional reinforcement so I don't give up. Sheepy: Gil: A "chance", but a chance that will never come to be. Arsé-kun: Minako: So you don't have everything in the world. Sheepy: Gil: Exactly. Sheepy: Gil: There's very few things i don't have, but i don't have everything. Arsé-kun: Minako: That'd be something... Owning literally everything? That's almost world domination. Sheepy: Gil: There was a time where I thought that that was what I wanted. Sheepy: Gil: Things are worth something until you've got them. Arsé-kun: Minako: So the best thing to have is some stuff and people around you, huh? Arsé-kun: Minako: ... Some people don't even have that. It must be awful. Sheepy: Gil: ... Sheepy: Gil: Yes. Arsé-kun: Minako: That's not fair at all. Sheepy: Gil: Life isn't fair. Arsé-kun: Minako: And neither is the grail. You think the grail would let people have happy families without shitting all over it? Sheepy: Gil: Hm. Arsé-kun: Minako: That'd be cool. Arsé-kun: *Unfortunately, Gil is then dragged off by Cu and Emiya, followed by Proto and Liz. They're gonna overthrow Gil* Sheepy: Gil: Let go of me, you grubby mutts! Arsé-kun: Liz: Down with the patriarchy! Sheepy: Gil: Shut it, Liz-ard! Arsé-kun: Liz: I'll scream! Sheepy: Gil: I'll kill you! Arsé-kun: Liz: I'll just come back! Battle continuation! Sheepy: Gil: I'll kill you a second time, then! Arsé-kun: Liz: Enjoy mopping up all the blood! Sheepy: Gil: That is not my duty. Arsé-kun: Liz: You're gonna have to wear the apron of shame! Sheepy: Gil: Hah! I will not! Arsé-kun: Liz: Frilly pi--iink approoon! Sheepy: Gil: You cannot make me. Arsé-kun: Liz: House rules! You make the mess, you clean it up! Sheepy: Gil: Foolishness! I am above the rules! Arsé-kun: Mozart: Can you two yell outside of someone else's room?? Sheepy: Gil: Fine. Arsé-kun: Liz: Awahh, fiiinne! Sheepy: Tristan: I call this one... "The Hungover Tune." Sheepy: *Tristan begins to play a cheery tune on his harp, mostly consisting of higher notes. The type of song that's good until you're in a bad mood. And then you want to strangle them.* Arsé-kun: Mozart: *he nods and listens. he understands that feeling* Sheepy: Tristan: *Once he finishes...* I would play this to Sir Kay when he was hungover, hence the name. Sheepy: Tristan: The others, too, of course, with the exception of Sir Bedivere in the rare occasion the festivities tempted him into drinking. Mostly, however, Sir Kay was the target. Arsé-kun: Mozart: I understand. Did he rightfully deserve it? Sheepy: Tristan: Ah, he's obnoxious. Sheepy: Tristan: I feel like everyone dislikes him in some respect, and from that we grow closer. With the exception of Sir Bedivere, of course. I'm curious as to how they met, since Sir Bedivere somehow tolerates his behavior despite being strict... Arsé-kun: Mozart: Perhaps they've known each other long enough to t-*he flinches as Liz- and it's definitely liz- making some unholy noise* tolerate it. Sheepy: Tristan: Ah. So long enough to punish me for tormenting Sir Kay... Arsé-kun: Mozart: That seems possible.. Arsé-kun: Mozart: ... I'm relatively tired of hearing whatever it is that is happening. Could you step out for a moment? There's something I'd like to do. Sheepy: *Tristan leaves* Arsé-kun: Mozart: ... You, too, Satoru. Just for a minute or so. Sheepy: Satoru: ...OK. Sheepy: *Satoru follows Tristan* Arsé-kun: *Mozart closes the door. musical magic sounds. yippee motherfucker* Sheepy: Satoru: Ah, he's drowning his sorrows in music. Sheepy: Tristan: Like me... Arsé-kun: Mozart: *he cracks the door open* Incorrect. Have you seen a theater before, Satoru? Sheepy: Satoru: Nuh-uh. Arsé-kun: Mozart: You will now. Come on in. Sheepy: Satoru: Masato once tried to drag me to one and I played dead. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: *Satoru enters* Arsé-kun: *to an empty theater.* Arsé-kun: Mozart: I haven't shown you my proper territory, have I? Sheepy: Satoru: When did this get here? Arsé-kun: Mozart: When I will it to be here. It's an extension of my magecraft. Sheepy: Satoru: You're magical. Arsé-kun: Mozart: I am a caster, after all. Tristan, you may return as well. Sheepy: *Tristan joins them.* Arsé-kun: Mozart: This is much better for performing, is it not? Sheepy: Tristan: Yes, definitely. Arsé-kun: Mozart: Take a seat wherever you'd like. I don't mind. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: *he chooses a nearby seat* Arsé-kun: Mozart: *he pulls out a trumpet from under a nearby seat* Ah, so that's what I placed here. Sheepy: Satoru: It's my second favorite instrument. Arsé-kun: Mozart: My apologies. I haven't made a banana an instrument yet. Sheepy: Satoru: That's okay. I have a new favorite. Arsé-kun: Mozart: What this week? Sheepy: Satoru: The fridge. Sheepy: Tristan: I see, you have interesting tastes. Sheepy: Satoru: So did the weird food in the back of the fridge. Sheepy: Satoru: Cu Chu took it from me angrily and said it could make me sick. He threw it away. I was sad. Arsé-kun: Mozart: He's right, you know. Sheepy: Satoru: Why? Arsé-kun: Mozart: Stale food is bad for you, that's why. Sheepy: Satoru: But if nobody gives it a home it'll be sad. Arsé-kun: Mozart: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: You agree? Arsé-kun: Mozart: I didn't say that. Sheepy: Satoru: Huh? Sheepy: Satoru: But... Arsé-kun: Mozart: .... *hehehe. butt* Sheepy: Satoru: Why don't you? Sheepy: Satoru: If you were old and stinky I'd still love you. Arsé-kun: Mozart: Is that why Vlad is still here? *he grins. potshot TAKEN* Sheepy: Satoru: I love my dad. I hope he stays. Arsé-kun: Mozart: Why wouldn't he? Either way, this isn't what we're here for. Sheepy: Satoru: ? Arsé-kun: Mozart: *he toots the horn* Sheepy: Satoru:! Sheepy: Tristan: Ah. Yes. Sheepy: Tristan: Do you know how to play? Here, join us. Sheepy: Satoru: No. Uncle Mozzy tried to teach me but I got frustrated and gave up. Sheepy: Tristan: Why? Sheepy: Satoru: Because some things sound the same to me but they don't to everyone else, and other stuff just sounds like noise to me but to others it doesn't. Sheepy: Tristan: That is... ironic. Arsé-kun: Mozart: Isn't it? Sheepy: Tristan: Yes, considering that he is your master. Arsé-kun: Mozart: It's fine. I've learned to make sure my pitch changes are easily detectable when I play for him. Sheepy: Tristan: How kind of you. Sheepy: Tristan: I'll do my best to adapt. Arsé-kun: Mozart: You'll do fine. Let me get something with a wider range of tones, first. Sheepy: Tristan: Go ahead. Arsé-kun: *Mozart heads to the stage, and then goes offstage.* Sheepy: Satoru:? Arsé-kun: *Mozart returns a few minutes later, keyboard under his arm* Sheepy: Satoru: It's the flat piano. Arsé-kun: Mozart: It is. Sheepy: Satoru: I like the flat piano. Arsé-kun: Mozart: I'm glad to hear that. Arsé-kun: *The keyboard is turned on, and Mozart does a quick scale to warm up before beginning to play* Sheepy: *Satoru watches silently. Tristan is impressed by Mozart.* Sheepy: Tristan: *He isn't sure if it's Mozart's relaxing tune or what, but he's starting to feel exhausted... his head droops.* Arsé-kun: Mozart: *he stops playing rather abruptly, nearly dropping the keyboard* Sheepy: Satoru: ...? Sheepy: *Satoru is fidgeting uncomfortably...* Arsé-kun: *Everyone is unceremoniously dropped back into Mozart's room. His keyboard does not come with* Sheepy: Satoru:.....Something's not right... Sheepy: Tristan: *he lets out an exhausted sigh* Perhaps... this is death finally claiming me...to drag me down to the burning fires of pain and sin... for my adulterous acts and running from my responsibilities... Arsé-kun: Mozart: ... m-hm... *he struggles to sit up* ... Shut up, Tristan. Sheepy: Tristan: But I didn't expect death to feel quite like this...My body is going limp... Sheepy: Tristan: And...It feels so cold... I don't like the cold... Sheepy: Satoru: *he hesitantly stands* Should I get Grandpa? He might know what to do. Arsé-kun: Mozart: .... Yes. Sheepy: Satoru: *he turns and hunts down Moriarty* Arsé-kun: *Mori is sitting on the stairs. He, too, seems exhausted* Sheepy: Satoru: Grandpa? Arsé-kun: Mori: You. Basement. We're under attack..! Sheepy: Satoru: ...? *he nods, confused, and rushes to the basement* Arsé-kun: Vlad: *he picks up Satoru the moment he sees him* What is happening upstairs..? Sheepy: Satoru: But... why? Arsé-kun: Vlad: Don't know. Don't care. Sheepy: Satoru: What do we do? Arsé-kun: Vlad: Stay. Need to get through me if anyone wishes harm to you. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: Will Grandpa be okay? Arsé-kun: Vlad: Don't know. Sheepy: Satoru: Are you okay? Arsé-kun: Vlad: For now. Sheepy: Satoru:...Okay. Sheepy: *Satoru still seems scared but has at least stopped asking questions.* Arsé-kun: Vlad: *he's keeping his attention on the stairs. He hasn't put Satoru down yet* Arsé-kun: *No one tell Satoru about Apo* Sheepy: *like the part that vlad was scary?* Arsé-kun: *No, he'd like that. The part where vlad died* Sheepy: *OH* Arsé-kun: Vlad: .... There's a fight. I can hear it. Sheepy: Satoru: Something's wrong... Arsé-kun: Vlad: ... What was the first clue? Sheepy: Satoru: I started to feel strange and then Uncle Mozzy fell over. Arsé-kun: Vlad: ... I can't say you're wrong. Arsé-kun: Vlad: .... I think I may have to fight. Arsé-kun: Vlad: ... ... *he frowns* I will. It's suddenly quiet upstairs. Sheepy: Satoru: Where do I go, then...? Arsé-kun: Vlad: ... Coffin. I'll guard it. Sheepy: Satoru: OK. Arsé-kun: *Vlad closes the lid. Satoru is now Safe™* Arsé-kun: Vlad: ... All right in there? Sheepy: Satoru: Uhuh. Arsé-kun: Vlad: Good. Arsé-kun: *And so, some shmuck of a grunt managed to get into the basement. They survive for about fifteen seconds. Now Vlad is powered up, and there's a pile of dust.* Sheepy: *Rest in pieces.* Arsé-kun: *Very many microscopic pieces* Sheepy: *Satoru is going to try to forget the noises of that.* Arsé-kun: *Satoru will probably succeed* Sheepy: *Hopefully* Arsé-kun: *And so, the basement is quickly flooded by grunts, most of which who are Probably dying in increasingly gory ways. Satoru does not need to see any of it.* Sheepy: *That's good, because he doesn't want to* Arsé-kun: *Then all the noise stops.* Sheepy: Satoru: ... ? Sheepy: Satoru: *he pokes his head out* Arsé-kun: Masanori: Good afternoon, sire. I regret to inform you that you are no longer in safety. Sheepy: Satoru: ?! Sheepy: Satoru: G-go away! Arsé-kun: Masanori: I will be shortly. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay! Go, go! I never want to see you again! Arsé-kun: Masanori: You've grown brave. Who taught you? They have my commendations. Sheepy: Satoru: Y-you don't live here anymore! Arsé-kun: Masanori: Correct, and thank goodness. There's nothing stopping me anymore. Sheepy: Satoru: Stopping...you....? Sheepy: Satoru: If there's nothing stopping you from not living here, then go move! Far away! So I never have to think about you again! Arsé-kun: Masanori: I'm glad you can still echo my words like a parrot with dementia. I only came here for one thing, after which I will leave. Sheepy: Satoru: One thing? Arsé-kun: Masanori: Just one. You have my word. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay! Then go take it and leave me alone! Arsé-kun: Masanori: That's going to be a bit difficult, I will admit. Sheepy: Satoru: Difficult...? Arsé-kun: Masanori: I can't both take it, and leave you alone. It's very simple. *and he opens the coffin. Satoru, try to ignore the room's new paintjob.* Sheepy: Satoru: D...don't... come any closer... Sheepy: Satoru: I-I'll... Sheepy: Satoru: *he does a pretty bad imitation of Kintaro. Let him believe that he's threatening* I'll mess you up! Arsé-kun: Masanori: What will you do, welp? The only power you have comes from your "family". Sheepy: Satoru: Uh! No! Sheepy: Satoru: My family is really strong! But I can deal with you myself! Sheepy: Satoru: So! Don't come any closer! Or I'll do it! Arsé-kun: Masanori: Prove it. Sheepy: Satoru: *he holds out his right hand shakily* Y-you've got five seconds to run, you... you monster! Okay! One...! Arsé-kun: Masanori: This should prove to be entertaining. Go on. Sheepy: Satoru: No! You're supposed to leave! Arsé-kun: Masanori: I already told you. Not until I have what I want. Sheepy: Satoru: Thr-uh! Two! Arsé-kun: Masanori: Your first servant is a math professor and you messed that up? Sheepy: Satoru: Uh! Sheepy: Satoru: Th...three... Three means that you should go now! Arsé-kun: Masanori: I'm so terrified. Hoo-wee. Sheepy: Satoru: You should be! Arsé-kun: Masanori: I've never been afraid of you. Sheepy: Satoru: E...eh.... Sheepy: Satoru: But... Sheepy: Satoru: Th-the monster always dies in the end... so... Arsé-kun: Masanori: Who lied to you? Everyone dies in the end. Sheepy: Satoru: No! Sheepy: Satoru: Only you do! Arsé-kun: Masanori: We'll see about that. What happened to four? Sheepy: Satoru: That's the number of death so you should be dead now! Sheepy: Satoru:....Five! *he closes his eyes. nothing happens.* Arsé-kun: Masanori: Would you look at that. It's absolutely nothing. Sheepy: Satoru: Um..um... Sheepy: Satoru: I'm just sparing you! Sheepy: Satoru: Okay! Go away! Bye! Arsé-kun: Masanori: How cute. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay!!!! It's time for you to go!!!!!! Arsé-kun: Masanori: Sure thing, sire. *he goes to grab Satoru* Sheepy: Satoru: NO! Sheepy: Satoru: GO AWAY! Arsé-kun: Masanori: I already told you- I will once I have what I want. Sheepy: Satoru: LEAVE ME ALONE! Arsé-kun: Masanori: No can do. *grab successful* Sheepy: Satoru: LET GO! LET GO! Sheepy: Satoru: I HATE YOU! Arsé-kun: Masanori: That's wonderful. I don't care. Sheepy: Satoru: I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! LET GO! Arsé-kun: Masanori: Don't make me muzzle you. Sheepy: Satoru: *he grabs Masanori's cheek and tugs* Arsé-kun: Masanori: You little brat..! Sheepy: Satoru: LET GO! Arsé-kun: Masanori: Fine. I will. *and he drops Satoru. into a sack. he's doing this the old fashioned way* Sheepy: Satoru: N...no...! Arsé-kun: Masanori: Be glad I won't toss you into a river when I'm done with you. Sheepy: Satoru:... ... Arsé-kun: Masanori: I'm on strict orders not to harm you. That's the only reason I'm being so nice about this. Sheepy: Satoru:...*he lets out a soft whine* Arsé-kun: Masanori: What delightful conversation. We'll be going now. Sheepy: *Satoru doesn't respond* Arsé-kun: *and Masanori more or less walks out with him, unscathed.* Sheepy: *Satoru has since given up and is playing dead* Arsé-kun: *Masanori: 1. Satoru and friends: 0*

[mrb-neiu-102]

Week 4 - Marc Maron - The First Marriage

I guess we can start at the end but it’s really the middle. Let’s just call it the really bad part. My second wife, Mishna, brought it to my attention that I had an anger problem. She didn’t say it like that. What she said was, “I’m leaving.”

Then she took her vagina and left.

I had it coming, I guess. I knew from the start that all I was doing was trying to hold on to her because she gave my life purpose and she was fucking stunning. That’s a lot of pressure to put on a person. Maybe if I had just relaxed, trusted myself, trusted her, didn’t freak out, everything would have been okay, but I am not capable of doing any of those things. We were fighting the odds from the beginning. When I met her I was a miserable drunk and she was just a kid. I was also married.

***

My first wife, Kim, was a nice woman. I loved her. I shouldn’t have married her. I did it because I didn’t know how to break up with her. I was too scared. It was too comfortable. She was a bit naive. I was a bit out of my mind. I thought that’s what marriage was rooted in: fear, comfort, and lies. The triumvirate. I had grown to believe that I would never be happy but if I at least were married I could rest my chaos on a firm emotional mattress, that marriage would make things okay, normal-ish. They weren’t. I felt like I was drowning in my bed.

I understood exactly what I was getting into with my first marriage. It was 1995. I was a thirty-two-year-old comic. When I met her, six years before we got married, I was just starting out. Comedians in their infancy are generally selfish, irresponsible, emotionally retarded, morally dubious, substance-addicted animals who live out of boxes and milk crates. They are plagued with feelings of failure and fraudulence. They are prone to fleeting fits of manic grandiosity and are completely dependent on the acceptance and approval of rooms full of strangers, strangers the comedian resents until he feels sufficiently loved and embraced.

Perhaps I am only speaking for myself here.

I was looking for something that would make sense of things. I didn’t know what. It was vague to me. I had an itchy soul.

My brother was getting married. He asked me to be the best man. I was all fucked-up on drugs at the time. I go to the wedding and it’s a big Jewish event. We’re all under the chuppah. My brother’s marrying this woman. She’s got a hot Jewish maid of honor who is giving me some heat. I’m looking at the bride-to-be through the haze of a cocaine and booze hangover and thinking to myself, “If she’s going to take my brother, I’m going to take her friend.” That’s sort of like love at first sight.

So I charmed her friend, aggressively. Fortunately for me, she lived in the same city, Boston. So within a few weeks, I’d moved my boxes into her apartment and terrorized her into loving me, sweetly. I was the black sheep, the brother failing rehab who had hung his hopes on a dream of show business, and was nothing but fucking trouble. Somehow, she found all of that very appealing. I was her ticket out of middle-class Jeweyness. She was my ticket back in.

I was with her for about six years before I asked her to marry me, which only means one thing: I shouldn’t have done it! If you wait six years to get engaged, you are on the fence. I should have known that. I should have known when I bought her a ring and proposed to her in front of the Phoenix airport. She got off a plane, she got in the car, I took out the ring, I said, “So you wanna break up or do this?” I’m paraphrasing, but it was something like that. And she agreed to marry me.

From the minute I got engaged to that woman I knew I shouldn’t have done it. I was not stable, I loved her but was not really in love with her, I was not a good man. I was just looking for something that would make me normal; make everything make sense. I figured: bourgeois, middle class, Jews. That should do it. Her dad was a psychiatrist. In retrospect he must not have been a very good one. I mean, he let her marry me. How did he misread the signs so badly? Or maybe I’m that good an actor.

As soon as I put that ring on her finger a switch was thrown. Rooms were being rented, bakers called, invitations sent out; family members were bickering and I might as well have been standing on a dock waving goodbye to a boat sailing off without me. Or maybe my body was on board, dead-eyed and vacant, but my mind was still on the dock, waving.

At first I thought we were going to get married on a mountain at sunset. But there were Jews involved, so that wasn’t going to happen. Her mother put the kibosh on that plan with one sentence: “Esther can’t make it up the hill.” There’s always an Esther and she’s not going up the hill.

The other switch that got thrown the moment I got engaged was the one in my head that dropped the needle into this groove: How the fuck did I get into this? Why am I in this? How do I get out of this? Right up to the day of our wedding I was thinking, “I can’t do this.”

As I got closer, the fantasy started to take shape: “What if I just walk out on the altar?” That would’ve been amazing.

Can you imagine if you were up on the altar and the rabbi said, “Do you take this woman?” and you said, “You know what, I don’t! HA HA HA!!!” What a cathartic, profound moment that would be. At that moment everyone you know in your life would think you were a fuckin’ asshole and you would be truly free. How often do you get that opportunity? “Yeah, fuck all of you!” You could just step out from under the chuppah, walk slowly past a crowd of stunned faces, climb onto a horse, ride to Mexico, and become a cowboy. That’s how real cowboys are made. Show up at a bar in Juarez and say, “Hola, amigo. What can I get for this ring?” Clink.

I didn’t do that. I married her. I married her for the wrong reason—because it was safe. I believed at that time that people got married when they had that moment, when they’re looking at themselves in the mirror and say, “Holy shit. I’m going to compromise my dreams, get fat, sick, old, and die. I kind of want to have someone around for that.” You don’t want to be sixty, fat, sick, and alone saying to your reflection, “Look at me. I’m a fat failure.” No, you kind of want someone around to say, “It’s okay, baby. You look great. Let’s go get some Tasti D-Lite, cowboy.” You’re thinking, “I’m not a cowboy. I missed that window. Ah, Mexico.”

We were living in Manhattan but when we got married we moved out to Astoria, Queens, to be married people.

Right away I started to bust out. I had a barrel of monkeys on my back. I liked cocaine, I liked pot, I liked drinking. I was trying to keep it all under control. I was married to a woman who wouldn’t tolerate it but it started to sneak up on me. I was going on the road hanging out with gypsies and freaks and pirates and I’d come back all sweaty and broken saying, “I don’t know. I think I caught the flu on the plane.” It was nuts.

Yes, pirates. Real pirates. I don’t know what your experience is, but if you’re on a three-day blow bender, you’re going to meet a pirate. At some point after you’ve been up for about seventy-six hours in a strange apartment or hotel room you’re going to hear yourself say to someone else in the room, “Dude, why is there a pirate here?” and that person is going to say, “Be cool. He brought the coke.” And you’re gonna say, “Okay, he’s cool, but does the talking parrot have to stay? Because I’m fucked-up, man. It’s freaking me out.”

“Marc, there’s no parrot. You have a drug problem.”

“That’s what the fucking parrot said! Are you two working together? Why don’t you both get the fuck out of here and I’ll talk to the pirate for six hours.”

***

I was starting to bring the drugs home. I was not a weekend cocaine user. I’d say I was more like a half-a-week cocaine user. It’s amazing how much you can rationalize when you’re on drugs. I could actually say to myself, “Look, I’m only doing blow Wednesday through Saturday” I didn’t think I had a problem. I thought I was completely under control. I thought, “I have parameters here. I have a schedule. It’s Wednesday through Saturday.” It took me a long time to realize, “Wednesday through Saturday? You know what, Marc? Regular people never do coke! It doesn’t even cross their minds.” I would get to the drug dealer’s house early because I thought if I started early I could be done with it by nine or ten and get on with my day. Like that ever worked. Have you ever heard anyone say, “No, no, I’m good. I’ve had enough blow. Time to get on with my day”?

One day I got to the coke dealer’s house in the late afternoon, before it was dark. I was the Early Bird Special guy. When I got there he was pulling down the shades and then there was a knock on the door. A short old Colombian man with a ponytail walked in. He handed my dealer a wad of tinfoil in exchange for some cash. He was the source. I said, “Let me do some of that!” My dealer said, “Okay, just a line.”

He opened the foil to reveal what seemed to be a jewel of blow. He flaked some off the rock into two lines. I snorted them. I felt a tingling behind my eyes that spread up through my brain like a wildfire of joy coursing through my nervous system. Apparently I had never felt the effects of pure cocaine. I said, “Holy shit! Why don’t you just sell that?” He said, “Because people would never leave me alone.” Then he crushed the gemstone and dumped it into a Baggie of last night’s stepped-on crud. It was heartbreaking.

My comedy career was stalled. Dramatically stalled. I was all bloated and sweaty and fucked-up. I was hosting segments on a local TV program on the Metro Channel, which I don’t think even exists anymore. It was awful. I would interview people on the street at a desk we would haul around the city. It was a “talk show on the street” segment. It was cute but like being dead but accepting it. I was married to a woman who had just added prenatal vitamins to our kitchen vitamin lineup. I was thinking, “That can’t happen.”

I’d surrendered. I’d given up. I would lie in bed blasted on coke with my heart exploding out of my chest, next to somebody sleeping comfortably, and I wanted to wake her up to tell her I was dying but I would’ve rather just died.

***

I thought that was the only way to get out of my situation. I wanted my heart to explode. I didn’t have the guts to leave her. I didn’t have the guts to be honest. I was fucked. My career was done. I was bitter.

Then a miracle happened, I guess you can call it a miracle. I’m going to go ahead and call it that even though it ended up the disaster with which I opened this chapter. But at the time it seemed like a miracle, a silver lining. Maybe it was just foil.

I’m at the Comedy Cellar in New York. I’m hanging out. I’m sweating. I’m talking to a few young comics. I’m probably having one of these conversations: “Well, I think if you really want to talk about the history of it, Pryor was really the first....” You know the rap. Holding court. And this woman comes up to me. This woman like a spirit, an apparition. I didn’t know who she was. What she was. But this six-foot-tall, spectacular-looking being walks up to me and says, “Hey, you’re Marc Maron, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I am,” I say, defensive but as charming as possible.

“What happened to you? You look like you’re going to die.”

“Huh? Yeah, well . . . what? I’m cool, I’m good. What do you mean? What’s the deal?”

“I’m just a big fan, and I don’t know, you look like you’re in trouble. If you want to get sober I can help you get sober.”

“What? You mean like meetings, AA and that kind of shit? Like the God thing? Are you a God person?”

“I can just point you in that direction.”

“Uh, okay,” I say.

In my mind I had no desire to get sober or even live, but every part of my mind and body wanted to be as close to her as possible, so I said, “Yeah. Hell yeah, I want to get sober. I need to get sober.” But in my mind all I was thinking was, “I’ll do anything with you. I’ll go anywhere. I’m going to follow you home now even if you don’t want me to follow you home.” And I did.

We walked thirty-five blocks. I smoked. We talked about cigarettes and about addiction and about comedy and about everything else. We got to her apartment. It was a walk-up on Forty-sixth Street. I’m in her living room smoking a joint, holding a Foster’s, and saying, “So, get me sober! Come on. What do you got?”

I start going to meetings, to lunch, to dinner, to wherever this perfect woman wanted to go. I fell in love as much as a newly sober, insane, angry bastard who was miserable and married could be in love, but I was in love, which meant I was going to hang every one of my hopes on this twenty-three-year-old girl. I was thirty-five.

Of course, I was married to another woman. That put a crimp in things a little bit. Courting is difficult when it has to be shrouded in mystery and secret pager codes. There was no texting then, just pagers. So we had numbers that meant, “I love you,” “I miss you,” “What are you doing?” I was running around the city, sweating and beeping.

Love is love and being in love is being in love. Wherever your loyalty is, whatever rules you think you won’t break in your life, sometimes you just can’t fight being in love. Some of the best memories of my life are moments like following her up the stairs of that Forty-sixth Street fourth-floor walk-up apartment. Watching her move up the stairs in a plaid skirt, watching her smoking cigarettes, and then laughing on her old couch, lying in her bed after we had sex and listening to her piss, feeling impressed and ecstatic, like, “Holy shit! Listen to that! It’s so powerful!” I told my friend Sam about my fascination with the power of her stream and he said it sounded like I was talking about a Thoroughbred horse. I think I was. I thought, “Maybe this is my chance to disrupt my bipolar Jew gene line.”

I didn’t know what to do. I’m in love with this woman, I’m married to this other woman, and I’m in trouble, so I call my two friends. That’s all I need, two. I need the main guy and the guy I go to when I drain the main guy.

The guys at that time were Sam, a bitter and brilliant writer, who was married and had just had a kid, and Dave, a comic and borderline sexual predator. I call Sam first and I say, “Dude, I’m in love. This is crazy. Things have been over with Kim and me for years. What should I do, man? This woman is perfect. I’m getting sober. It’s everything I wanted.” He says, “Man, you’re married. Be responsible. You made a commitment. Try to honor it. This thing will pass.” I say, “You know what, man? Take a day off.” Then I call Dave. “Hey, Dave! What’s going on? Take a break from pursuing eighteen-year-olds online and talk to me. I’m in love with this woman. She’s twenty-three and I’m married but I’m getting sober and I think it’s the right thing.” And Dave, thank God, says, “Ah, dude . . . you gotta go for it! What the fuck, man?! You only live once. This is it! This might be it!” And I’m like, “You’re right, man, thanks. I knew I could count on you.”

We all have the right to cherry-pick the advice given us in order to do exactly what we wanted to do in the first place.

As I said, courting is a little difficult when you’re married and when you’re newly sober and when the woman’s only twenty-three and you’re a dozen years older. I just know that in traditional courting this is not a conversation you should have after sex:

Me [yelling]: So, are we doing this, or what? Because I’m going to fucking leave her. Are we doing this? Do you fucking love me? Do you fucking love me? Are you taking me? Are we doing this?

Her [crying]: I don’t know!

Me [still yelling]: What the fuck!? Yes or no? Are we doing this?

Her: I guess so.

Me: Good enough. I’m on it.

If you don’t believe in magic, if you don’t believe that there are phrases, incantations, mantras, that can change the universe completely, literally change the entire course and trajectory of your life, even the objects in your periphery, you are wrong. There are. This is one of them: “Honey, I’m in love with someone else, and I’m having an affair with her.” Abracadabra! Locks are changed. Objects are moved and missing. You are dispatched into exile to a sublet on the Lower East Side, where you will remain alone, isolated, broken off from the world you knew. You deserve it. You have cut yourself off from a wife, a family, a future, your money. Everything.

But I had that girl. Yes. I had that girl. And she was enough.

We embark on this crazy thing, this girl and I. I’m getting sober. I’m going to meetings all the time. I’m writing a book. I’m doing a one-man show. Things are okay. I know some of you are thinking, “What about that other woman, you heartless fuck?” Yeah, what about her? She was a good person, I know. I felt like shit, but I had to do what I had to do. And some of you may think, “Well, you didn’t have to do that.” Well, yeah, I did. I did have to do that. It saved my life. I divorced that woman and married that girl and she eventually left me. Karma? Sure. She got me sober, though. I am still sober. I have her to thank for that.

I actually use sobriety to try to frame the pain of my second divorce. I was at the Comedy Cellar one night, miserable and in the middle of it. I was talking to the late Greg Giraldo, who was always struggling with drugs and alcohol. A struggle he eventually lost. I asked him how much money he had spent over the years on rehabs. He said, “About two hundred and fifty grand.”

My divorce cost me less than that. And I am still sober.

***

In the middle of my second divorce, from this once-magical woman, I was a broken man. I was fucked-up on all levels. I was on my way to my mother’s in Florida, which means I was in real trouble because she is really the last person I ever want to lean on. Not that she’s a bad person; she’s just a bit boundaryless and draining. I’m at the airport in Los Angeles. I’m walking through the terminal to my gate, trying to catch a 6 A.M. flight. Shattered. My duffel bag was even sad as it bounced off my butt as I walked. I was about four months into my separation from Mishna. I looked up from my drudging and that’s when I saw her: Kim and her new husband, standing with their luggage at the gate I was passing.

I think, “I can’t handle this. There’s no way” So I do that thing where you put your hand up over your forehead, look the other way, and think, “There, I’m invisible.”

I know she knows everything. Her best friend is my brother’s wife. She has to know all about the disaster that my life’s become. I get past the gate and I think I’m out of the woods but then I hear, “Marc!”

I turn around and there’s nine years of history running toward me with a very familiar gait. She gets to me and asks, concern in her eyes, “How are you doing?”

I explode in tears and uncontrollable blubbering. I cannot stop it. And without missing a beat, my first wife says, “Not so good, huh?”

I was so happy she had that moment. I deserved it, she deserved it. And the sick thing about me is that right after we had that exchange there was a part of me that thought, “So, are we good? Can I go with you now?”

 Works Cited

Maron, Marc. Attempting Normal, Spiegel and Grau, 2013, pp.19-28.

[tommyboyproductions]

Story under cut, pt 4

"Uh, yes, we're here to see Sara Yamaguchi... I'm her husband." Hokuto and Ray walked up to the front desk at the hospital, requesting directions to whichever room his wife had been moved to that night. The nurse quickly responded and pointed down the hall. Ray and his father made their way, both of them silent. 

"Excuse me, Doctor? The boy? From last week? He's back again... he came in on his own this time... I suggest you come see this, we may need to call someone..." A nurse, who looked quite alarmed came up to a doctor standing in the hall, right as Ray and his father walked by. The doctor took his clip board and lay down the paper he was examining.

"Is he in Room B again?"

"He is. I told him I would get him some antibiotics... it's that bad this time..." The nurse looked down, almost as if she were about to tear up. Ray couldn't help but over hear the conversation and listen out of curiosity. Walking with his father down the hall, they passed Room B. Inside sat a small, blonde boy on the examining table. His clothes were torn and his body was dirty. It looked as if he had lacerations on his arms and legs and his face was bruised. He looked way too skinny for his age and Ray's stomach sank immediately. Hospitals were such dark and gloomy places. It made it even worse knowing his mother had to stay in a place like this. After they turned the corner, Hokuto stopped, reaching his hand out to grab his sons shoulder. Ray came to a hault as well looking up to his dad. 

"What's wrong...?" Ray asked. Hokuto pulled Ray to the side of the hall where there was a bench for the two of them to sit. 

"Ray... I need you to understand that... your mom doesn't look like herself right now... She's very weak and she'll talk slow. I want you to prepare for what we're about to walk into. This is something I was never expecting to face..." Hokuto was honest with his son, hoping his words were getting through.

"I know... I know mommy won't be here much longer." Ray looked down, his hands twiddling in his lap. "I don't care what she looks like, she's still Mommy. I want to be with her as long as possible. I can handle whatever she looks like. I don't care. I just want to be by her side." Ray stood, reaching for his father's hand. How was it possible for Hokuto's son to be even braver than he was. It wasn't his strength that would pull them through, it was Rays. Hokuto stood back to his feet, grasping his sons hand. The two of them walked alittle further down the hall until they came to the room. Hesitating a bit, Hokuto froze while Ray went ahead and pushed the door open.

"Mommy?" Ray looked foward, seeing a hospital bed where his frail mother lay hooked up to multiple beeping machines.

"...Ray... honey... come here..." Sara spoke quietly, her voice weak. She wasn't glowing like she always had. She wasn't chipper and bouncing around like Ray had always remembered her. But her voice was desperately happy the second she saw her son. Ray ran over to the side of the bed, his head immediately falling onto her chest. Sara grasp her sons arms, clinging to him for dear life. Hokuto made his way in slowly, sitting in a chair near the bed.

"Hi sweetie..." Hokuto smiled at his wife, his heart breaking at the sight. Sara looked up at her husband, her eyes speaking for her with the first grateful look Hokuto had gotten from her in a while. Bringing Ray here was definitely the right thing to do. 

"Mom... when can you come home?" Ray sat up and looked at his mother. Sara smiled, bringing her fingers up to Ray's forehead. She ran them through his hair, gently caressing his cheek.

"Ray... will you keep my home ready for me? With a big meal and everything? That’s the only welcome I want." Sara spoke softly, her eyes never leaving her sons. Ray nodded immediately.

"Of course... I'll always have it ready for you. You'll come home soon, right?" Ray asked questions he already knew the answers to. A part of him wanted to hear his mother lie and tell him that she'd be home the next morning and everything would go back to normal. But even at his young age, he knew that wouldn't be possible. He knew in his heart that his mother wouldn't be coming home, but he wasn't ready to fully accept that. "And I'll have you donuts waiting, okay? Your favorite!" Ray exclaimed, bringing a small giggle out of his mother.

"You always treat me so well... How did I get so lucky?" Sara let her hand fall to her side, sliding her fingers into Ray's hand in the process. Ray took a hold of his mother's hand, holding tight. Her palm was cold and it wasn't soft like Ray had remembered it. But it was still his mother's touch and it was comforting. "I wish I could give you the world..." Ray sighed, looking down.

"Hey... that's supposed to be my line..." Sara grinned, her spirits lifting a bit with each second she spent with Ray. "But don't worry... You've already given me the world. You're my world, Ray. You're everything I could have ever asked for." Sara's words slowed as a few coughs escaped her throat. Hokuto sat quietly in the background, taking in every word his wife and son exchanged. His heart was breaking, but he couldn't come apart yet, he had to keep it together.

"Are you going into work tonight...?" Sara grunted from a quick pain that went through her side as she looked up to her husband. 

"No Sara... I think we need to take a break from the restaurant right now. We have too much goin-"

"Hokuto! Don't let this get in the way of your cooking... You know this is the last thing I'd ever want to happen... you have to reopen it--" Sara begged, getting slightly worked up.

"Sweetie, I can't be expected to run it right now. I need to be here with you and when I'm not here with you, I need to be with Ray. The restaurant is too much right now. I have enough money saved up to be fine for years, you know that." "I know, but it's not about that! I don't want--" Sara began, losing it to coughs, forcing her to end her sentence there. Ray squeezed his mother's hand trying to comfort her until she stopped. Hokuto ran his hand across his forehead, his stomach forcing itself into even more knots.

"What don't you want Mommy...?" Ray finally asked after his mother caught her breath once more. Sara looked from her husband back to her son, her facial expression calming itself again.

"I don't want you to stop cooking... Please… never stop. Time won’t stop with me and I don’t want your dreams to either. And if you can’t cook for anyone else anymore, cook for yourself. Promise me you’ll always cook for yourself, because I know it’s when you’re the happiest. I always want you happy. If the restaurant isn't the answer right now, so be it. But don't forget the feeling you've always gotten from speaking through your food. You'll only grow stronger and your father can still teach you so many things... Don't let anyone /ever/ tell you that cooking shouldn't be the most exciting, most joyous experience in the entire world..." Sara began coughing again, her body throwing itself forward. 

"Honey, maybe you should get some rest..." Hokuto stood to his feet, resting his hand on Ray's shoulder. Sara nodded, resting back into her pillow once more. "I won't stop Mommy... I promise... I'll never stop cooking and I swear I'll have your favorite food ready for you when you come home! And donuts for sure! With sprinkles!" Ray grew more excited as he spoke, somewhat forcing himself into denial.

"I promise, I'll always be ready to taste your food, Ray. You make the most delicious things! I'm so proud of you..." Sara's eyes slowly closed from exhaustion, squeezing her sons hand one last time before letting go.

"We'll come check back later..." Hokuto began to leave, but Ray hadn't moved. "Wait... can I stay here with her?" Ray asked, turning to his father. Sara gave a nod, expressing her approval and Hokuto shrugged.

"Go ahead... both of you, get some sleep..." Hokuto instructed. "I'll come back in the morning Honey... I'll bring you two some breakfast."

"Thank you, Love." Sara smiled, blowing her husband a kiss. With that, Hokuto left his son to be along with his mother for the night. Ray carefully climbed up onto his mother's hospital bed, cuddling up to her side. He rested his head on her chest, reaching his hand to grab hers. Sara buried her nose in her sons hair, closing her eyes to get some rest. Within minutes, the two slipped into their dreams, where they could always meet with one another. In Ray's dreams his mother was healthy again, glowing just as she always had. And without warning, Sara's dream swept her away. Ray's world had completely changed within seconds and when he finally woke up, he was never the same again.