#yes i also left out some of the questions entirely bc obviously i'm much better at deciding what's interesting

[tripably]

So I saw something like this on instagram and I wanted to participate, except I've psyched myself out of ever posting anything over there and also a month-long challenge is too much of a commitment plus I wanted to make edits to some of the questions so here we go!

~ A song with a colour in the title: Tummansininen seuralainen by J. Karjalainen ~ A song with a food in the title: Chop Suey! by System Of A Down ~ A song with a number in the title: 22 by Lily Allen ~ A song with a person's name in the title: Coraline by Måneskin ~ A song you remember from your childhood: Rööperiin by Jormas ~ A song from your teen years: She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5 ~ A song that you never get tired of: Lokin päällä lokki by Apulanta ~ A song to drive to: Kissavideoita by VilleGalle ~ A song you'd sing with someone on karaoke: Kukka by Uniklubi ~ A song that reminds you of summertime: Kesäyö by Pariisin Kevät ~ A song that needs to be played loud: Mary On A Cross by Ghost ~ A song that makes you want to dance: The Big Fellah by Black 47 ~ A cover song you like better than the original: Huuliharppu by ABREU ~ A song from the 70s: Starman by David Bowie ~ A classic favourite: Rebel Yell by Billy Idol ~ A song by a band you wish were still together: Pistoolisankari by Dingo ~ A song by an artist no longer living: Musta aurinko nousee by Juice Leskinen ~ A song you had/would love to be played at your wedding or such: Nothing Else Matters by Metallica ~ A song that reminds you of someone: Frida by BEHM ~ A song that makes you want to fall in love: In Joy And Sorrow by HIM ~ A song that has many meanings to you: Do I Wanna Know? by Arctic Monkeys ~ A song that makes you happy: Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas ~ A song that makes you sad: Vielä täällä by Jesse Kaikuranta ~ A song that breaks your heart: Te amo by Rihanna ~ A song that reminds you of yourself: The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel

I'm not tagging anyone, this time, but I'm strongly encouraging anyone who sees this to join me in obsessing over music choices, and also editing and/or removing and/or adding new questions to the list, whichever way strikes your fancy<3

[letstalkaboutfandomsbaby]

Hi sunshine! I'm sorry if this is too personal, please don't respond if you find it so, but i was just wondering... If you're a lesbian, how are you thirsting for guy characters? I'm legit just very interested in how sexualities work, thank you if you decide to answer ❤️❤️❤️

Hi hun! I don't find this topic too personal at all, but I will be talking my ass off so imma put a read more sksksk

Under the cut: my past experiences with my sexuality and how I came to the conclusion that I am, in fact, a lesbian (and am still lesbian even tho I simp for fictional men)

OKAY SO my entire life up until I left for college I was sure that I was only attracted to men. I think this had something to do with bullying that I experienced in middle school. I cut my hair super short and this guy hated me and started calling me a dyke and a lesbian behind my back and I guess my little petty brain was like "wtf I am so hetero wtf is he on about" and I internalized that shit and justified my "attraction" to women as just me thinking they were cool and shit. But! Obviously that wasn't how things actually were! But my brain was small and barely developed so i didn't know what tf I was doing sksksk

Then college comes around and since I'm away from the peer pressure I faced in high school, I start exploring my sexuality and realize hey! I actually find women attractive in a sexual and romantic way! And suddenly shit was making sense like how I used to look up "bouncing boobs" on youtube when I was like 8 sksksks. But I was living with my homophobic extended family at the time so I was never able to express my attraction to women so I always leaned on my attraction to men to make me feel more accepted by my family, so for three more years I was convinced I was bisexual.

Then the pandemic hit and I got home to my immediate family and felt so much better! I felt lighter and free, like I could actually be myself. That's when I started questioning "do I even like guys? Like what do I actually like about guys? Do I actually like guys or just the idea of guys?" So I muddled over these questions for months bc in my mind, if I was attracted to fictional men, then I must also be attracted to real men, right?

WELL, I stumbled upon a google doc called the lesbian manifesto and in that document it talked about a lot of lesbian experiences including lesbians finding men (real and fictional) attractive while still not wanting to be in any kind of relationship with a man. That, along with talking with friends and my therapist, made me realize that I don't actually like these characters for their gender; I like their personalities! Like I talked to my therapist about this and she asked if I would like these guys more if they were women and my answer was "yes obviously" and she was like ok well there's your answer sksksks

I think it boils down to the fact that I will never interact with these men irl and there's no possible way for them to interact with me. Since there's that huge separation, the thought of being with these men is much more comfortable to me, but if these men were real and were flirting with me I would be so freaked out sksksk

As for the penis thing, idk why but penises just really gross me out. I watch porn for fic research and I can never watch the guy cum on the girl bc seeing a penis ejaculate literally makes me gag sksksk like! not sure why but it's awful and so I avoid it as much as possible. Drawn penises that don't look hyper realistic are okay for the most part but some drawings just don't sit right in my gut and gross me out. It all depends ig.

I think the best way to describe it is like with fanfiction: you may want to read about dark topics in a fanfic (murder, rape, gore, etc), but you would never want those things to happen irl! You like exploring the topic and you gain some kind of satisfaction from it, but the thought of it happening in real life makes you sick to your stomach.

I hope that makes sense! Tbh idk how to explain my sexuality either sksksk I just feel comfortable with the lesbian label bc it deters some men from flirting with me (not all, but some)