#yes i made their ship name gopher

[0deploy0]

I want them to meet

[merryfortune]

Day 10 / Electric

Clover and Violets 2021

Ship: not applicable | Kyoko/Hayami

Universe: Vrains

Word Count: 1,580

Rating: T

Tags: Post Canon, Meet Cute, Fluff, Implied Redemption Arc

   Hayami wasn’t good at meeting new co-workers. Not for lack of trying though, more like because of trying too much. She wanted to make a good impression. Even if it was a good impression on people who really got into the nitty-gritty of Sol Tech’s shadier dealings.

   So, she put on a big smile and she did what she did best: played the gopher.

   Not to brag or anything but she had gotten really good at making coffee these days. She made a mean dirty chai, in her opinion. She brought out five throwaway cups on a cluttered, wooden tray into the office chambers where they were having their meeting, as well as milk, cream, sugar, any topping they could really want: Hayami was doing her best to make their guests feel at home. Maybe even so much at home that they would drop the facade and use their real names. Akira told her not to be so hopeful but Hayami thought that a little bit of hospitality would go a long way.

   Regardless, she was the last one to walk into the room and Akira closed the door behind her, completing the soundproofing of the room. She smiled, big and gawky, as she set down the tray. And as she did so, she did a head count: their boss wasn’t here but the main entourage of this upper echelon on were, the only one missing aside from Revolver was his little assistant who had duelled Blue Angel.

   “Help yourselves.” Hayami said.

   “Don’t mind if I do.” nattered the man closed to her, he was about mid-thirties to early forties, glasses, and green hair.

   Hayami smiled. She then flicked her gaze to the other two, the other man and the only other woman aside from her,  made sure they were welcome to have some coffee as well. In the meantime, she took her own drink and sugared it to oblivion and beyond. The woman - with sharp cheekbones and devilish red hair - hid a giggle as she did that.

   “Are we all comfortable yet?” Akira asked.

   He sounded a little testy so Hayami made sure that he got his coffee promptly as well: he took it almost black, one sugar and a teaspoon of milk. He thanked Hayami with just his eyebrows before he took stock of the rest of the situation. It seemed so and thus, Akira began the meeting.

   And what a dull meeting it was, Hayami thought. It was dark inside the room and Akira’s voice droned; Hayami could have gone straight to sleep in her chair. Thank goodness she had the coffee. She wouldn’t have been able to keep her eyes open through it, and her mouth closed, too. It was all hypotheticals on top of hypotheticals; action plans for future action plans. Very ambiguous and open ended, she mostly just nodded and hummed in agreement whenever Akira said something she thought made sense or sounded good or if he just needed someone in his corner to back him up. 

   So yes, the meeting couldn’t end quick enough but when it did, there was time to linger. To get up, stand around, stretch their legs. The Knights of Hanoi mostly kept to themselves so Hayami took the chance to clean afterwards. She collected up the mostly empty throwaway cups and all the foodstuffs she had brought over in the first place but that Baira woman couldn’t let fine enough be. 

   Hayami was perfectly capable of doing it all by herself but she insisted. She glared, with pursed lips, and she tried to help Hayami when she did not want the help. The outcome was about what was expected. Hayami attempted to trod off with all of it in her arms; Baira tried to cut in and take some of her burden but Hayami refused with a smile and a mildly annoyed, furrowed brow.

   The two ladies engaged in an exceedingly polite warfare of push and pull and it ended with milk and cream going everywhere. Though, mostly it went all over Baira and that nice white jacket of hers.

   Hayami was stunned with her error and it was, mostly, her error. “I am so sorry.” she said. “I can pay for dry cleaning for you, if you like.”

   Baira laughed. “It's fine, I’ve been covered in worse.” Her laughter was coarse, barky, but jolly and good natured. “How about you just show me to the nearest restroom, huh, sweetie?”

   “Oh, yeah, totally.” Hayami chirped, stiffening up, she loved pet names and didn’t mind if they were used by near or virtual strangers.

   Hayami gathered up what was dropped and with Baira, they dawdled off. The nearest restroom was on the corner of the floor and they got cleaned up there. Hayami helped dab off stains on Baira’s coat, both thankful that it hadn’t been actual coffee that they had dropped on her.

   It felt odd for Hayami to pick up and bundle Baira’s coat but she seemed content to watch, observing Hayami with a sharp eye. Hayami blushed. She didn’t actually think she was that interesting but maybe she was.

   “There we go,” Hayami said, “all done.”

   “You’re good at this.” Baira said and she shrugged. “I’ll be the first to admit, cleaning, housekeeping, cooking: never been my forte, you?”

   “Love all of the above.” Hayami admitted, a little bit embarrassed.

   “You’d be a cute housewife, feeding the OL to wife pipeline, it's an important job.” Baira teased her.

   “Oh shut up.” Hayami playfully replied with a giggle but she toyed with her hair. “Its always been my dream to be a June bride, a bit old fashioned nowadays but I can’t help it.”

   “Better than my dream.” Baira shrugged. “But, like, no, really, if you go and get hitched, I think I’d miss you. Gets so dull being around men all the time. Like they just go on and on, like get to the point, mister or you're as bad as us misses.” 

   “I was thinking the same thing the entire time - and I like Akira.” Hayami laughed.

   Baira smirked. She was really taking a liking to this little lady - and not just because it felt good to be tall around one someone shorter than her.

   The two ladies finished up shortly after. And Hayami had to admit, she had really taken a liking to Baira as well. As mean as a woman Queen was, Hayami did miss having another woman about the office, especially one with sharp wit and the like. She was so socially awkward, having someone more extraverted and graceful about, whilst anxiety inducing, was the good sort.

   And the connection didn’t just stop there, oh no, it started and Hayami was having a hard time puzzling out Baira’s intentions. They seemed a little bit more than just friendly. She was a gift giver, it seemed. Only small things here and there and Hayami was making the point to return the tiny favours but some of the things Baira couldn’t help but unload were a bit odd. And none of them were her actual, literal name and whilst that information was out there on the big, bad internet, Hayami wanted to be entrusted with it on Baira’s terms and consent so she would wait.

   Wait whilst holding onto all those bits and bobs that Baira told Hayami reminded her of Hayami.

   Like hand sanitiser in a pink bottle. Cute, cleanly, and convenient. Hayami liked it but she thought it was a little strange. But not as strange as the extravagantly handled coffee mug that Baira had gotten her. The squirrel motif was a bit too on the nose for Hayami, she thought and the pun wasn’t all that great either. And then when Baira handed her the electric toothbrush, Hayami thought she had gotten the picture. 

   Hayami stared at the offending implement rather than the beautiful cityscape view in front of them, “You know,” she said, “if I didn’t know any better, I would say this was an invitation to move in with you. Or at the very least come over.”

   “I was wondering when you would get the picture.” Baira said with a laugh, happily gazing out to said cityscape in front of them but her eyes kept wandering back to Hayami. She was too cute and a lot more fun than the soiree they were both ignoring.

   “Oh.” Hayami murmured.

   “Oh, indeed.” Baira said. “But, well?”

   “Well, what?” Hayami said.

   “I have a key to an apartment I used to own, would you be interested in visiting?” Baira asked.

   “A little, yeah…” Hayami replied, a bit embarrassed and trying to play it coy.

   “Here, another gift then.” Baira said.

   Hayami looked up at Baira, still holding that darn electric toothbrush with one hand and extending out the other, and Baira dropped something in her palm. Her fingers swirled against the skin of Hayami’s palm flirtatiously and Baira gifted her a key complete with a keyring: one of those cow tag-like keyrings and it had writing on it.

   “Thank you.” Hayami mumbled.

   Baira smirked and Hayami had a closer look at the keyring. She blinked. Taki Kyoko. 103, 3F. Hayami’s heart fluttered.

   “I should give you directions there, yeah?” Kyoko asked. “So you don’t get lost, I mean, this party’s pretty boring and I was the bookworm in uni who never went anywhere but even this shindig’s boring me.”

   “I’d like that, thank you.” Hayami replied with a blush in her cheeks.

[pidayforpi]

122,640 Days

How many days were there in 336 years?

A quick tap on the calculator, and our hero found out.

122,640 days. Neglecting leap years.

122,640 days. Would anything still remain after 122,640 days?

Daffy Duck stood inside his space ship, looking at the planet he called “home”. Were the stars too bright, or was his heart feeling sour?

Planet Earth in front of him seemed a bit cloudy through the wide windows. The reinforced glass was sparkly clean. Eager Young Space Cadet was always so diligent.

But what was cloudy was something the young pig would never imagine being cloudy.

Duck Dodgers, the national - no, universal - hero, always wore a boastful smile or a disappointed frown.

But the black-feathered duck in front of the panel of buttons was wearing an unreadable expression.

———————————————————————————————

“The breeze gently passes through the air, blowing towards the heart that should have been broken.

Enveloping those crossed, held hands in the everyday dusk, slowly disappearing.”

Somewhere on the blue-green planet, Daffy Duck could see a two-storey house. In that house, he could see a grey rabbit sitting on the sofa, caressing a brown “dog” on his lap. A brown mouse wearing a sombrero pushed opened the front door much taller than him, tired from a day’s work. The rabbit would greet him, and vice versa, before the mouse went inside his mouse hole.

Daffy knew there was a fourth occupant in the house: A black duck fast asleep in a messy bedroom. After all, the tenant always went to sleep strictly at 10:00 pm, only to wake up at 10:00 am the next day. The tenant was a heavy sleeper. No matter how noisy his housemates downstairs were, he would never wake up. No matter how noisy he snored, and how hard his housemates slapped him to wake him just to tell him to shut up, he would never wake up. 10:00 pm, and he’s a dead man for the next 12 hours. Even on New Year’s Eve, he would not give an exception. In fact, he would even sleep earlier at 8:30 pm, because he strongly believed that New Year was “a holiday invented by the media”, whatever that meant.

But if he was now given the chance to relive any New Year’s Eve, Daffy believed the black duck would be willing to stay up all night.

“Strange, isn’t it? Our smile never looked the same.

But now, it seems like I am looking at my own reflection.”

Daffy knew the duck was a moocher. He never worked to pay his rents, or anything for the house. Even the “dog” would win prize money from dog shows, and the mouse would use his hard-earned money to repay the house-owner: The rabbit. Not to mention the duck being a big spender, an irresponsible customer, often buying useless items at high prices. Heck, he even once used the rabbit’s money to buy and decorate his parade float, and a dozen of lobsters to fill the swimming pool for a barbecue. He even once stole the rabbit’s inventions, bought the house with the money earned, only to have the house destroyed when his (version of the rabbit’s) invention malfunctioned. Yet, the rabbit never kicked him out. Never sold the parade float, never got rid of all the lobsters. Instead, he built a time machine to save the house. Not only because it was his house in the first place, but it was also the abode of his best friend: The duck.

But if he was now given the chance to live in that house again, Daffy believed the black duck would take any job to repay the rabbit for his generosity.

“I won’t be sad. Because it’s nothing.

Hidden under those nonchalant greetings is my “thank you”.”

Daffy knew the duck was a terrible friend. He never kept his promises. He just took his friends for granted. Whenever he wanted something, he would ask his friends to pay for him. He wouldn’t even pay for a soda on the Grand Canyon himself. He stole the rabbit’s gloves when he needed to fix his parade float. He took his polite, innocent pig friend’s wallet to buy a ship, lying to his empathetic swine buddy that he needed a kidney transplant. The duck even forced him to be his butler to impress his girlfriend on a date, in the pig’s house no less! Not to mention the verbal and physical abuse the duck had inflicted on him during the dinner. He messed up his rooster friend’s film project for fun, his only excuse being that he wasn’t a professional actor. He was a terrible host at his own diner party, and a pathetic MC for a mystery game. Yet, they all attended his birthday party. Friendship and love were the only reasons they needed to forgive their duck-billed looney friend, not to mention him being fun to be with. The duck’s stupid grin and funny lisp were all they need to feel the power of friendship. Love really did defy common sense.

But if he was now given the chance to be at that birthday party again, Daffy believed the black duck would burst into tears of joy right then and there. Words couldn’t describe how grateful the duck was to his friends.

“Farewell. Bye bye. Please do take care.

Because this is a request I proposed first, please firmly catch it.”

He missed those days lounging around Pizzarriba with the rabbit and the pig, engaging in small talks when the mouse delivered two fresh, hot pizzas to their table with a wide smile.

He missed those days filling himself up with helium at the fun fair, just to win the title of “Mr Weiner” in front of his friends.

He missed those days playing bowling with the pig, a Martian and a puma, and helping them make overly long nicknames to insert into the leaderboard.

He missed those days at the Copy Place, where he made his first impression to his girlfriend as a weirdo ordering business cards stating himself as a wizard.

He missed those days being an outlaw chained to his rabbit friend, disguising themselves as yellow versions of themselves and somehow getting away with it.

He missed those days streaking (yes, streaking) with his pig friend in a remote village in Mexico, only to be put behind bars by the local sheriff.

He missed those days disguising as a university professor, and actually changing his name to “Professor”.

He missed those days sharing his house with his rude red-haired neighbour, and trying to scare him away with the rabbit when his misbehaviour were just too much.

He missed those days destroying an antique store owned by a pair of gophers in his fight with the rooster (and the fight between the rabbit and the red-haired neighbour). The shame when he cried for his mother in front of his friends!

He missed those days teaching his witch neighbour’s son how to defend himself against bullies. Even now, he didn’t think he had the power to push the red monster a mere centimetre away.

He missed those days ruining a whole dog show, nearly getting his rabbit friend arrested and his “dog” killed.

He missed those days training with the mouse, only to have the pig carry him throughout the marathon. The pig really was the local hero, as the papers said.

Yes, Daffy Duck really did miss those days. Those days, 122,640 days ago.

“Not long ago, we never talked about the future.

Although I am getting gentler, as wishes that cannot be granted accumulate.”

When he awoke from his 3.5 century slumber, just a glance around, and Daffy knew those days weren’t coming back.

He would rather be frozen forever, oblivious to the cruel reality.

In 122,640 days, everything changed.

No one remained, at least not as themselves.

Bugs Bunny, Speedy Gonzales, Tina Russo, Foghorn Leghorn, Pete Puma and Gossamer were nowhere to be found.

Porky Pig, “Poochie” the Tasmanian Devil, Marvin, Yosemite Sam, Mac and Tosh were there, technically. But they weren’t who they had been 122,640 days ago.

Especially good old Porky, the second best friend Daffy never admitted that he had. Without Bugs, Porky was the only one Daffy could count on.

But when the “Eager Young Space Cadet” looked at him with a confused, ignorant smile, Daffy knew that was not Porky. Not anymore.

The smile was the same, but not the owner of the smile.

Daffy was still surprised how he didn’t collapse and cry at that very moment.

“But now, for only a bit, please let me throw a little tantrum.”

And it didn’t help that Marvin, his high-school exchange classmate and friend, pointed his gun at him when they first met. Daffy really hoped Marvin had pulled the trigger at that time.

Poochie transformed into a real killing machine, Mac and Tosh reduced to vegetable-stealing mutants, while Yosemite Sam evolved from the local neighbourhood jerk to a galactic evil mastermind.

“I won’t be sad. It’s time for you to go.

Contradicting my cold salutations, I turned around.”

Yes. Porky would no longer jump at him for wasting his money for a ship. Marvin would no longer deliver pizzas with him via a tank. Sam would no longer be stupid enough to cut his own electricity supply, and ask for refuge at Daffy’s house.

He couldn’t tell Bugs how sorry and thankful he was for being his bestie. Couldn’t tell Speedy how delicious his frozen pizzas and 62 hot dogs were. Couldn’t tell Tina how good the name “Zachary” was. Couldn’t tell Gossamer how beautiful his voice was.

“Farewell. Bye bye. Please do take care.

If you write me a postcard or two every year, I will surely catch it tightly.”

Those meaningless, joyful, carefree days were never coming back.

———————————————————————————————

“Someday, we are going to meet again.

(It’s alright if you keep it. Whether it is the CD, or the harmonica...)”

If the buttons weren’t waterproof, the space ship would have crashed already.

Tears flowed out of Daffy’s eyes, dripping onto the metallic panel. He fell onto the cold, lifeless ground, wiping away tear after tear. The planet in front of him was no longer visible, leaving only a smear of blue and green.

“I won’t be sad. Please don’t be sad as well.

Don’t let me see that devastated expression, and cheer up.”

He told himself to keep quiet, to hold himself together. He was now Duck Dodgers, of the 24.5th century! Lest Space Cadet noticed his dear captain crying uncontrollably. But Daffy didn’t care. Right now, he was Daffy Duck, not some fictional hero in the future. Right now, he was back in the 21st century. He could cry all he wanted. He could be the pathetic loser he used to be.

No need for fame.

No need for power.

No need for disintegrating pistols or ultimatum dispatchers.

All he wanted were those 122,640 days back. Those scenes reflected on the photo frame on the control panel.

“Farewell. Bye bye. Please do take care.

I hope that when we congratulate each other, we can meet again.”

The photo frame he received on his birthday, made from pictures of himself. Many have dismissed it as a spoof of narcissism. But little did they know that photo frame meant the world to Daffy.

“I won’t be sad. Because it’s nothing.

Hidden under those nonchalant greetings is my “thank you”.”

Daffy took the old photo frame, and embraced it tightly. He couldn’t look at the pictures clearly anyway. But he could see his friends planning his birthday party at Pizzarriba, making his birthday presents, and decorating both the house and the restaurant...

“Farewell. Bye bye. Please do take care.

Because this is a request I proposed first, please firmly catch it.”

A pair of trembling arms hugged Daffy from behind. The creator of the photo frame. Eager Young Space Cadet must be so confused seeing his captain crying his eyes out with his self-portrait so late at night. He didn’t even know who made the photo frame, let alone what was making his brave captain so, so sad.

“Farewell. Bye bye. Please do take care.

If you write me a postcard or two every year, I will surely catch it tightly.”

Daffy didn’t have to look to see Porky’s puzzled expression. And yes, that was Porky. Not some random “Space Cadet”. That was his second best friend, the one who made him that old, dusty, rusty photo frame. He might not remember it, but Daffy would never forget.

“Farewell. Bye bye. Please do take care.

Because this is a request I proposed first, please firmly catch it.”

———————————————————————————————

Somewhere in the reflection of his overflowing tears, Daffy could see a pizza parlour in a busy city. The bell jingled when he opened the front door, people’s laughter filled his ears. Mouthwatering aroma of pizzas filled his nostrils as soon as he stepped into the restaurant. He didn’t request for a table - He was always the late one.

He sat down besides a grey rabbit and a pink pig at their usual seats, right before a brown mouse with a sombrero dashed towards them with a pencil, a notebook and a bright, friendly smile. Daffy didn’t need the menu. He always ordered the same dish. Every year. Every day.

“Two cheese pepperoni pizzas. The usual.”

(16-4-2020 ~ 20-4-2020)

——————————————————————————————

-(I originally wanted to post this story along with another Ducktales long story, but since it’s a long story, I still haven’t finished it, so...)

-(This is also the first fan-fic I have finished in my life.)

-This story is the result of my new found interest in The Looney Tunes Show and Duck Dodgers in April 2020. The background is a possible AU (?) in which (1) Duck Dodgers is Daffy Duck (is this canon?), and (2) is the Daffy Duck from the Looney Tunes Show, making The Looney Tunes Show a prequel and Duck Dodgers a sequel.

-The number of year “336” is the difference between year 2350 and 2014. Since the Duck Dodgers show doesn’t mention which year it is set specifically in, or how many years is Duck Dodgers frozen for, I am improvising here. Year 2350 is exactly 24.5th Century, while year 2014 is the end of The Looney Tunes Show (2011-2014). I picked 2014 (instead of 2011) because I presume the events in the show happen between 2011-2014, such that after the end of the show, Daffy Duck is frozen until year 2350.

-The song lyrics (in Italic and Bold) are from “Sayonara Byebye” (さよならbyebye) performed by Mawatari Matsuko (馬渡松子). It is best known (and is actually composed) for the anime version of Yu ☆ Yu ☆ Hakusho (幽☆遊☆白書) by the (in)famous Togashi Yoshihiro (冨樫義博) as the second ending theme. The translations are by me. The song is about parting ways, and is actually an inspiration for this story, as well as one of my personal favourite anime theme songs.

(It is a bit off to be in an action anime, especially when it’s played during an intense battle tournament arc (you know which one I mean if you watched the anime before), but the song is great nonetheless. In fact, the song fits the ending of the series. I would say it may be planned?)

-Most (if not all) of the flashback scenes (or references) in the story appear in various episodes of The Looney Tunes Show. The photo frame is the one given to Daffy by Porky as a birthday present in the episode “Muh-Muh-Muh-Murder” (S01E25), for instance.

-By chance, I wrote this story across Daffy’s birthday (screen debut), which is on April 17.

-And I also wrote this during my public exam preparation period. Yes I am pathetic.

-Also the Japanese dub is good in both DD and TLTS. (・∀・)

Duck Dodgers, The Looney Tunes Show and any character involved belong to Warner Bros.

“さよならbyebye” is written by リーシャウロン, composed and performed by 馬渡松子.

“幽☆遊☆白書” is created by the wonderful 冨樫義博-sensei.

[thebibliomancer]

50 More Days of Comics! 46/50: The Wedding of Popeye & Olive #1 (1999)

This is weird beyond words.

Popeye has a full head of hair??

What other weird oddities are hiding beneath the poorly understood surface, what Deepest Lore does the sailor man hide, not know to the wider public?

A lot! Popeye lore is a little bonkers!

Lets get into it!

Here’s one. Popeye wasn’t Olive’s first boyfriend. There was a guy called Ham Gravy or Harold Hamgravy who was the main character of the Thimble Theater comic strip (which eventually became Thimble Theater starring Popeye and then just Popeye).

He was Olive’s fiancee but also a slacker who often had eyes for other women if they were rich because he wanted to get rich quick and easy without working for it.

But apparently during his absence from Olive’s life, he has hit it rich and now dresses like a Texan millionaire.

Ham: “Honest, Olive... I never understood what you saw in him... He’s not as good-looking as me, or as rich as me, or as successful as me, or as well-dressed as me-”

Olive, pausing from upending an entire box of chocolates into her mouth: “Wait! -- Back up! Did you say... ‘rich’? You’re... rich?”

Ham: “Oh, yeah! I made huge investments in the stock market!”

Olive, with $ for eyes: “They all paid off?”

Ham: “Well... no... They all crashed! But, my dad got so mad, that when he was yelling at me about ‘em, his brain exploded and I inherited his millions!

“So whattaya say, Olive? Let me do right by you. Marry me! It’s more than that one-eyed sailor ever did for you!”

Olive, still $ for eyes: “Ham, Ham! -- Thi$ i$ $o sudden! What el$e can I $ay but, of cour$e!”

-sees picture of Popeye- “Of... of course... -- NOTTT! I’m... I’m sorry, Ham... I can’t...”

Aww. She loves her sailor man.

Ham accepts this gracefully.

Because he preemptively hired a goon to kidnap her, expecting her to say no.

That’s gracefully, right?

Also, I didn’t really have many thoughts about Olive Oyl prior to this. I had this sense that she’s one of the archetypal gets-kidnapped-so-she-can-be-rescued characters. But she is a delight in this scene.

And yes, she does immediately get kidnapped. But she has a lot of character in this conversation.

Elsewhere, Popeye accidentally saves a Just Married couple when the brake in their car fails. Which he does by standing on the dock, not paying attention, because he found a Jeep (a weird magic creature) stopping to smell the dock flowers and was worried it would get into an ‘askidenk’ not paying attention.

Also:

Popeye: “Ya may be a Jeep, but ya ain’t no car!”

Hah.

The married couple thank Popeye for saving them, by standing on the dock not paying attention so that their runaway car crashed into him, which he didn’t notice, sending them flying safely through the air into the ocean. The bride tells him that he’ll make a wonderful husband for some lucky girl someday.

And this puts him in an introspective mood about marriage.

Popeye: “Marich! A man takin’ a wife... T’sa big step Eugene! Marich... Me an’ Olive, we kin be good t’gedder! -- But I dunno... she can be so... so Olive! Sometimes I wonder.. will Olive ‘n me ever gets t’be hitched?”

But he done introspected in the right location if he wanted answers for his rhetorical questions. Because Jeeps can tell the future! Just go with it! And when Popeye asks whether he and Olive will ever get married, Eugene the Jeep bends over and waves his tail three times which means “Signs point to yes.”

Being no dummy, Popeye asks follow up questions and learns that he and Olive are going to get married soon and not next year or next week but TOMORROW, THE JEEP IS NEVER WRONG!

Popeye: “Then I gots’ta propose, ‘cause if we gets married widdout me proposin’, it ain’t gonna be offiskal! I kin not waits t’tell Olive! I kin jusk hear her muksical voice sayin’ --”

Olive, being kidnapped: “NOOOOO!”

Popeye: “I wuz kinda hopin’ for a yes...”

Hah.

Before Popeye can respond to Olive being kidnapped, goon-napped, gravy-napped, Bluto bursts through the dock. Popeye tries to knock him out but even though he punches the guy many times, he can’t wipe the smile off his face.

Winded and having run “outta soks in me sok drawer” which is an amazing turn of phrase relying entirely on comic book sound effects, Popeye wonders whats going on here.

Bluto: “Things’ve changed, Popeye! Y’see... I found the Wiffle Hen.. and rubbed her head!”

Popeye: “No!”

Bluto: “YESSSS!”

Popeye Deepest Lore is so wild.

Anyway, Bluto punches Popeye across town and then swims out to Ham Gravy’s boat. Wherein he promptly takes over Ham Gravy’s evil plan.

Ham wanted to go to his hideaway in Malta but Bluto was only going along with the plan because Ham could get him the boat he needed. And instead they’re going to Spinachania, the Kingdom of King Blozo, where most of the world’s spinach apparently comes from.

Olive: “I thought his country was called Nazilia!”

Bluto: “Nah... they changed it ‘cause Nazis kept showin’ up!”

... Welp.

Anyway, Bluto is going to eat all the spinach he can, steal what he can’t eat, and then burn the kingdom down. And then he’s going to marry Olive.

Ham: “I’m... I’m sorry, Olive... This hasn’t gone at all as I had planned... I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me!”

Olive: -pounds him into the deck like a nail-

Ham: “-- I’ll take that as a maybe...”

Meanwhile, Wimpy tries to get free hamburgers by claiming that it would be a charitable act and thus tax deductible. Old Man Geezil has finally had enough of this nonsense and is about to stab Wimpy when Popeye falls out of the sky on top of him.

Popeye promptly tries to hire a crew to help him save Olive but since he has nineteen cents to his name, everybody turns him down. Everybody but Wimpy.

Wimpy: “In the interest of our long association, I will sail with you today for a hamburger on Tuesday!”

Awww, Wimpy!

So Popeye sends Wimpy to find a ship (who steals Geezil’s, geez no wonder the man hates him) while he rounds up the ‘fambly’ Olive’s brother Castor Oyl, Olive’s parents Nana and Cole Oyl, Popeye’s reprobate dad Poopdeck Pappy, Swee’ Pea, Alice the Goon, and of course Eugene the Jeep.

On the trip, Popeye explains some Deepest Lore to Wimpy and whoever in the audience. Spinach helps Popeye be strong but rubbing the head of the Wiffle Hen years ago is what made it so nothing can hurt him, apparently.

And he deduces that since Bluto is taking pages out of his book, that he’ll be headed to get all the spinach from Spinachania and then there might be no stopping him.

Meanwhile, Spinachania and the king is having an anxiety attack. He just knows something bad is going to happen. AND HE’S RIGHT, THE KINGDOM IS UNDER ATTACK.

King Blozo: “I knew it! How many attackers? A thousand? -- A million??!”

A general: “Two, sire... B-but they’re annihilating our army!! It’s kind of embarrassing, really--”

And Bluto and Ted the Goon are indeed just kind of stomping the entire army.

They arrive at the Royal Spinach Field but when Bluto goes to grab the spinach, it THWIP!s underground. Like in a cartoon when a mole or gopher or something yoinks a vegetable underground.

But its not mole or gopher or something, its Popeye and he’s eaten all the spinach he yoinked so he’s real roided out.

Popeye rips the bag off Bluto’s back, freeing Olive and the Wiffle Hen.

Bluto calls for Ted the Goon to assist him but Ted has gone and fallen in love with Alice the Goon off-panel and now they’re having a picnic.

So Popeye and Bluto punch each other in the same pose for hours. Yes, really.

And Olive has an idea how to break the stalemate.

Bluto, looking tired: “... I don’t get it... I’m bigger’n you! Tougher’n you! I ate the spinach... rubbed the Wiffle Hen’s head -- an’ as long as the magic of the Wiffle Hen exists, I’ll still be able to-”

Cue Wimpy wandering by with a drumstick remarking how delicious rare magical birds are.

And while Bluto is panicking about not being super-invulnerable anymore, Popeye socks him in the gut. And he tries to sock Popeye back but it makes a KLONG! like punching metal and hurts Bluto’s hand.

He panics that Popeye shouldn’t be super-invulnerable anymore either.

Popeye: “I don’t needs t’be!  ‘Cause I yam what I yam an’ thass all that I yam!”

And then he punches Bluto into the sky.

Popeye then finds out that the Wiffle Hen is fine and wonders what happened so that he was able to beat Bluto if they were both super-invulnerable.

Poopdeck Pappy suggests that confidence is the real super power and that Popeye always has confidence in all things.

Popeye: “Not all... not in th’ one t’ing I shudda had all these years! But I’m fixin’ that... right now!”

And then he proposes to Olive (with a cigar band in lieu of a ring) and she immediately accepts.

Awww!

For a comic titled the Wedding of Popeye and Olive, the actual wedding only takes up the last two pages.

King Blozo marries them. There’s a gag where after they kiss, Popeye’s pipe has wound up in Olive’s mouth. And then she throws the bouquet.

And the Sea Hag of all people catches it. And immediately starts chasing Wimpy to marry him.

The Sea Hag: “Wait! I caught the bouquet!”

Wimpy: “And I’m catching the next plane out of town! -- Happy honeymoon, Popeye and Olive! I’ll drop you a line from wherever I’m hiding!!”

So that was the Wedding of Popeye and Olive and it was funny and it was cute and it has given me a new appreciation for the characters.

Thank you, box of mystery. I never would have read this without you.

[deutschedori]

Little Lottie Let Her Mind Wander (StanxOC)

So I know I’m like two years too late to this fandom.... But I just recently fell in love with Gravity Falls, and Hunkle Stan! I don’t  like the x reader format so I just made an OC. Well here it goes. Enjoy!!!

CHAPTER ONE: Not What He Seems.

“Mabel! Hurry! Shut it down!” Screamed Dipper. Mabel nodded. She pulled herself along the wire towards the button. “No! Mabel, Mabel, wait! Stop! Aah!” Soos knocked Stan away from Mabel.

“Soos, what're you doing?!  I gave you an order!” Stan struggled in Sooses grip. Hitting his head. “Sorry, Mr. Pines - if that is your real name - but I have a new mission now! Protecting these kids!” Yelled Soos. He was going to protect the pines twins at all costs. The big lovable muffin kept his iron grip on Stan. Both were struggling against one another. “Soos, you idiot, let me go!” Yelled a desperate Stan. Dipper flung himself towards the two men, joining the fray. “Go! Mabel, press the red button! Shut it down!” Shouted Dipper. Stan shoved Dipper out of the way. “No, you can't! You gotta trust me!” Stan cried out reaching towards Mabel. Mabel was clinging to the button. Tears streaming up her face. “Grunkle Stan, I don't even know, if you're my grunkle! I wanna believe you, but--” Stan’s heart broke seeing Mabel like this. “Then listen to me. Remember this morning when I said I wanted to tell you guys something?” ‘T-minus twenty seconds.’ The computer counted down. All scream as the portal flashes and pushes Dipper, Stan, and Soos against the opposite wall. Mabel prepares to push the button. “I wanted to say that you're gonna hear some bad things about me, and some of them are true, but trust me. Everything I've worked for, everything I care about, it's all for this family!” Said Stan. “Mabel, what if he's lying? This thing could destroy the universe! Listen to your head!” Stammered out Dipper. “Look into my eyes, Mabel! You really think I'm a bad guy?” His eyes filled with sincerity. “He's lying! Shut it down NOW!” Yelled Dipper. “Mabel, please!” Cried Stan. ‘Ten. Nine.’ counted down the Computer. Mabel looked and away from them, lowering her hand towards the button. She looked at her Grunkle. “Grunkle Stan…” She whispered. ‘Six. Five.’ Steadily the computer counted down. Mabel lifted her hand. “I trust you.” Said Mabel. She let go of the button and began to float up in front of the portal. “MABEL, ARE YOU CRAZY?! WE'RE ALL GONNA-” Started Dipper. ‘One’ The computer finally finished counting down. Dipper, Stan, Soos and Mabel all disappear in an explosion of light as each of them screamed. Their screams filled the basement. A huge flash of blinding light engulfed all of Gravity Falls. Then, suddenly everything came crashing down to earth. The portal, was now a mess of tangled wires and metal. It was glowing a bright blue color. Two figures emerged from the portal. The blue light faded behind them. The smaller one walked forward,and  placed a six-fingered hand on the cover of the first journal. Then he picked it up and placed it into the inside pocket of a long, dark coat. “What...? Who are they?” Stammered dipper. “One of them is the author of the journals…” the mystery man pulled off goggles, revealing his face. He looked nearly identical to Stan, slightly younger though. ”...my brother.” finished Stan.The taller figure behind him pulled off their hood to reveal a fair faced young woman with three eyes. She had short white hair with two long braids at the back of her head. (imagine padawan braids) “Is this the part where one of us faints?” Whispered Mabel to Soos.

“Ohoho, I am so on it, dude.” Laughed Soos, them promptly fainted.

“Finally! After all these long years of waiting, you're actually here! Brother!” Exclaimed Stan as he walked towards Ford with his arms open. His face was swiftly punched by Ford. “Oh! Ow! What the heck was that for?!” yelled Stan, nursing his bruised cheek. “This was an insanely risky move: restarting the portal! Didn't you read my warnings?!” Yelled Ford. The woman held his arm back slightly with a worried expression on her face. “Warnings, schmarnings. How's about maybe a thanks for saving you from what appears to be, I don't know, some kind of sci-fi side burn dimension?” Smirked Stan. “Thank you? You really think I'm gonna thank you after what you DID THIRTY YEARS AGO?!” Ford blew up! He could not believe the risks that Stan took, all the lives he put at risk. “What I did? Why, you ungrateful...“ Stan tried to punch him but Ford ducked and grabbed him. “Don't expect me to go easy on you, just because you're... family.” Ford slammed him to the ground.  Ah!” Screamed Stan. “Hey, hi. Mabel here. Quick question: WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!” Yelled Mabel. “Stan, you didn't tell me there were children down here. And some sort of large, hairless gopher?” Ford eyed Soos with skepticism. “Heh heh. I get that a lot.” Said Soos nonchalantly with a shrug. “They're your family, Poindexter. Shermy's grandkids.” Stated Stan. “I-I have a niece and nephew?” Ford began to shake Mabel's hand. ”Greetings. Do kids still say greetings? I haven't been in this dimension for a really long time.” “Whoa, a six-fingered handshake? It's a full finger friendlier than normal!” Mabel’s eyes were filled with excitement. “Heha, I like this kid. She's weird. What do you think Lottie?” Ford said to the white haired lady.

“Hello Child,” her voice was very soft, soothing. She softly patted Mabel's hair. “My name is Lottie.” Mabel looked at the three eyed woman with star eyes. “I-I can't believe it. You're the author of the journals!” Dipper was star struck. “You've read my journals?” Questioned Ford. He wasn’t quite sure if he was comfortable with a child so young reading the horrors in his Journals. “I haven't just read them; I've lived them!” He began circling. “I've been waiting for so long to meet you, I-I don't know what to say I have so many question I” He began to hyperventilate. “Oooooohhh I think I'm gonna throw up.” Mabel came over to comfort him. “Hmmpf! No-no, false alarm. Hmmpf! Just gotta ride it out!” Both Ford and Lottie looked at the child with concern. Lottie quickly ran over to make sure he was okay. Examining every inch of him.   “Listen, there'll be time for introductions later. But first, tell me, Stan: are there any security breaches? Does anyone else know about this portal?” Questioned Ford. He jabbed Stan in the arm. “No, just us. Also maybe the entire U.S. government.” Shrugged Stan. “The what?!” Shouted Ford. Lottie and the kids looked over at the Stans. Lottie had Dipper’s mouth open inspecting his teeth. The Security camera showed Agent Power

“Fan out! We're not going anywhere till we find Stan Pines and those kids!” Ford pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay. It's all right. We've got a while before they find this room. We just need to lay low and think of a plan.” Sighed Ford. “ Lottie here.” He snapped his fingers

“Yes Master Pines.” Lottie let go of Dipper and shuffled over to Ford’s side. “Well, it looks like we're stuck down here for a while. Who wants to tell us their entire mysterious backstory?” Mabel gave the air side nudges. “Yes, I have some questions about this myself, Stanley.” Ford said pointedly at Stan. “Stanley?” Dipper said in disbelief. “But your name is Stanford.” Whined Mabel. “Wait, you took my name?! What have you been doing all these years, you knucklehead?!” Ford moved to grab Stan. Lottie held him back once again.

“Master Pines I don’t-” She was drowned out by Dipper. “Yeah, Grunkle Stan, no more lies! You owe us some answers: What's the deal with this portal? Why did you keep this a secret?” Dipper was seething. “And what happened between you and your brother?” Mabel looked concerned. She didn’t want the two brothers fighting. “I hope all this aligns exactly with my fanfic, Stan. If not, I will be very disappointed.” Stated Soos. He seemed very serious about this. “Okay okay okay, I have a lot of explaining to do. It all started... a lifetime ago... nineteen sixty something. Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey.” Stan began to tell his side of the story. The group had settled down on the ground. Mabel and Lottie we cuddled up together absolutely enthralled with Stan’s tale.

“I traveled the whole country, sometimes outside of it, always one step ahead of the law, looking for something that would be my big break.” Ended Stan.

“Whoa. So that explains all the fake IDs.” Breathed out Mabel.

“That is so sad.” Mumbled Lottie. She had some tears in her eyes. “But, wait, what about you? Did you end up going to your dream school?” Dipper asked Ford. “Not exactly….” Ford entered his own story. Lottie had heard it all before. Ford told her a little while after they came together. But now she had heard Stan’s side of the story too. She knew a lot of their problems could have been fixed if they had just communicated. Every so often Ford would be interrupted by Dipper screaming about the journals. Soon it got to the point where their stories converged. Each Brother telling his side of the story. Learning that Stan had faked his own death to help find Ford .

“So all this time you were just trying to save your brother. Grunkle Stan, I'm so sorry I didn't believe you.” Dipper sounded sincere. He really felt bad. This was his Grunkle. He should have trusted him. “That's okay, kid. I probably wouldn't have believed me either.” He patted Dipper’s head.

“But wait where do you come in Miss Lottie?” Asked Mabel, who was in her lap. Lottied moved to answer but Ford beat her too it.

“I found Lottie on one of my adventures. She was being held captive on a ship. Her species the Bubalini are very sought after for their life restoring properties.”

“HA! SO THAT'S WHY YOU LOOK SO YOUNG! You look exactly the same since you were sucked into the portal” Exclaimed Stan. Ford laughed slightly.

“Yes, Lottie has been kind enough to share her powers with me as a gift for saving her. But I do say it is weird to see you so old.” He turned to Lottie. “Lottie if you don’t mind?” She nodded.

“Yes Master Ford.” She scooched over to Stan.

“I’m sorry if this is a little invasive Master Stan.” Lottie apologized softly.

“What are you gonna-” Stan was cut off by Lottie who cupped his cheek with one hand while she placed her other over his. She guided his hand to the middle of her chest. Stan’s face grew red and hot. Soon she began to glow. The glow flowed through her into Stan. Soon his features began to soften, his hair began to get it’s color back. Even his wrinkles were gone. He felt his clothes get tight with his old muscles returning. Then the glowing stopped. Lottied slumped, her hands falling away from Stan. Ford began to clap.

“DO ME! DO ME!” Screamed Mabel as she danced around.

“Now now my little one, If i were to do you you would be no more than a babe, We don't want that now do we?” Chuckled Lottie

“Good show Lottie it is always impressive to see you like that.”

“Thank you Master Ford,” She wiped the sweat from her brow. “You know I am to do your every bidding sir.

“Hot Belgian Waffles! I’m not fat an old anymore!” Stan began to dance in victory. Mabel had to join in.

“Yes, Lottie is very effective. She is one of the more powerful of her race. I sure did cause quite a stir when I rescued her. I mean the conditions she was in! It was the only rational thing to do. Unfortunately her race is enslaved so she had no home to go to, like me.” He patted her head. “She appointed herself as my serv- I mean assistant. Willed her life to help me. I have been grateful. Poor thing knowing nothing but servitude. Naturally we had to make her not stand out so we cut her hair. The Bubalini are known for their long white hair.”

“Lottie I am so sorry that all this happened to you!” Mabel threw herself into the woman with a huge hug. Lottie hugged the small child back.

“Now now my child, now that I am here with Master Ford there is nothing wrong. And now I have you wonderful children to look after. My race are all female and do not have the ability to have children, so I would be so honored to take care of you.” She grabbed Dipper also into the hug she and Mabel shared. Soos came from behind to join the hug as well.

“I heard talking! It was coming from downstairs!” A muffled voice said. Breaking the moment. “Oh no, it's too late, the agents are comin' for us!” Stan was almost in full panic mode. “What do we do?!” Asked Mabel as she clung to Lottie. “Aw, man. I was so spellbound by your dramatic tale I forgot all about those dudes.” Said Soos. That's when the light bulb went on in Dipper's head. “Wait, forget. That's it! I think I know a way we might be able to defeat those agents!” He took Fiddleford’s Memory Gun from his bag and handed it to ford. Ford took it gently horrified that a child was in possession of this weapon. Then the lightbulb dinged in his head too. “Of course! I don't know how you got a hold of one of these but, this is perfect! If I can just amplify the signal to a radio headset frequency…” He plugged some wires into the gun and looked through some viewing glasses to see the agents running into the shack.

“There. Now everyone PLUG YOUR EARS! GET DOWN! NOW!” Lottie grabbed the children and covered them and her ears. Everyone followed,plugging their ears. Two agents stood outside.

“Sir! Looks like there's a hidden door behind the vending machine!” “Excellent! Get me Washington on Line 1! I've been practicing sounds of excitement for this very occasion. Hey, do you hear that?” Said Agent Powers. A wave of sound suddenly passed over all the agents. The agents recovered. Feeling very disoriented. “What? Where am I? Why am I standing in front of some sort of goofy fun knick-knack house?” Asked Powers. Ford came out on the front porch. “Stand down, gentlemen! I've been sent with the latest intel from Washington.” He flipped through some of Mabel's drawings she had made for the mock report. “According to this very real report, the power surges in Gravity Falls were actually due to radiation from an unreported meteor shower. A total embarrassment for your whole department. Luckily I'm here to take this mess off your hands, but I'll need of all your... floppy disks, and 8-tracks...right?” The agents still looked confused but went along anyways. “Uh, everything about this case is contained on this drive.” Powers motioned to Trigger to give Ford the flash drive. “Well, what are you waiting for, a kiss on the cheek? Get out of here before I have your butts court-martialed!” Said Ford, in his best authoritative voice.

“Uhh, yes sir. Apologies, sir.” Powers gave a whistle. “False alarm, everyone!” He saluted Ford on his way out. Soon the government agents had all left. Ford gave the goat the flash drive, and the goat ran away with it in his mouth. Everyone joined Ford on the porch. Lottie falling at his side. “Great uncle Stanford, that was amazing!” exclaimed Mabel. “Let's not go crazy; it was serviceable.” Shrugged Stan. He wasn’t impressed, he could outwit any government agent. Ford chuckled.

“Thank you, kids, but please, call me Ford.” “Sure! Thanks, Great Uncle Ford. So, uh,” He held up a pen and notepad and clicked pen excitedly. “would you mind if I ask you a couple billion questions about Gravity Falls?” Ford rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. “Um, well I-uh…” He began. “Alright, kids, it's been a long day and me and my brother have a lot to talk about. Why don't you hit the hay, huh?” Stan interrupted. “But, it's the author!” Even more clicks erupted from the pen.” I've been waiting so long to ask questions about-” “I said. Hit. The hay!” Said Stan. It was final. Lottie touched the kids backs.

“Here children, How about I tuck you in and tell you a story before you go to bed.” Lottie smiled and guided the children into the house. “I'll just... let myself out.” Soos said awkwardly. He sidestepped away, and then when he was out of sight the he called wendy.

“ Wendy, I've got something amazing to tell you. Clear the next fourteen hours!”

The brothers went back inside. They spied their reflections in the mirror. “Look at us. When did we become old men?” Stan said softly. “You look like Dad.” Stated Ford.

“Ugh, uck, don't say that.” Stan said with mock disgust. They both erupted with laughter. Lottie just had come down the stairs to join the men. “Okay, Stanley, here's the deal. You can stay here the rest of the summer to watch the kids. I'll stay down in the basement and try to contain any remaining damage. But when the summer's over, you give me my house back, you give me my name back, and this Mystery Shack junk is over forever. You got it?” Said Ford with a sigh. “You really aren't gonna thank me, are you? Fine. On one condition: you stay away from the kids; I don't want them in danger. Cause as far as I'm concerned, they're the only family I have left.” He walked into the kitchen. Ford went to his room and slammed the door. Lottie wasn’t quite sure which to follow. She decided to follow Stan into the kitchen.

“Master Stan, the children are tucked in tight into bed. Um, since this is your home as of now may I ask where I can sleep.” Stan who was sitting on the kitchen chair. He wiped his hand over his head.

“Uh you can take my bed, I can sleep on the couch.” Said Stan.

“OH, No, no Master Stan I can’t take your sleeping spot! I shall sleep on this couch!” She quickly said. She would hate to take the man’s bed after he had opened up his home to her.

“Look Lottie, It’s just Stan. No need for all this master crap.” He got up to make some coffee. He knew he wasn’t going to sleep much tonight anyway.

“Maste- I mean Stan. I’ll make that for you, sit. I don’t mind doing all the work, trust me.” She smiled at him and took over making the coffee. Stan grumbled and returned to his seat. Soon Lottie had joined him. Two hot, steaming cups of coffee on the table.

“So, Poindexter saved you, huh.” Stan said trying to break the awkward silence between them.

“Yes. I remember like it was yesterday. I was being held on a federation ship. Being loaned to high-end clientele. As you saw my power can be quite intimate. Ford helped me to get it to where I don’t have to be physically intimate anymore. This one particularly rough client was…” She paused. Stan looked at her with concern. “Master Ford heard the noises and rushed to my aid… He saved my life…According to the laws of my people I am life bound to whoever frees me. So with Master Ford I stayed. He has been good to me, a little tough but good. So I stay.”

“You’ve definitely had it rough lady.” Stan said softly as he sipped his coffee. She made some damn good coffee.

“But Master Ford has delivered me to my wish. I have two beautiful children to care for now. He knows that was my greatest wish.” She smiled fondly into her coffee. Stirring it slowly.

“That must be really sad for you. But if you can’t have kids how does your race continue to exist?” Stan was just curious now. He gazed into her third eye. It was in the middle of her forehead. Her eyes were blue, but the middle one was a nice green color.  It was different, but Stan didn’t mind. It didn’t take away from her beauty.

“Well to put it as simply as possible, There is a hive of sorts. We are grown by a singular Queen. Even we don’t know how it works, since we are ripped and sold right after our ‘birth’.” She shrugged.

“Well Stan, Just Stan. I will be off to bed. I will see you in the morning.” She touched his shoulder before walking into the living room. Stan stayed there for a moment. He knew life was going to get very different here soon.

[tj-van-heerden]

Covenants

Gen 6:9, 14, 17, 18 Gen 9:9-13, 17 [WEB] 9 ...Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time. Noah walked with God.

14 Make a ship of gopher wood...

17 I, even I, will bring the flood of waters on this earth, to destroy all flesh having the breath of life from under the sky. Everything that is in the earth will die. 18 But I will establish my covenant with you. You shall come into the ship, you, your sons, your wife, and your sons’ wives with you...

Gen 15:18-21 18 In that day Yahweh made a covenant with Abram, saying, “I have given this land to your offspring, from the river of Egypt to the great river, the river Euphrates: 19 the land of the Kenites, the Kenizzites, the Kadmonites, 20 the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Rephaim, 21 the Amorites, the Canaanites, the Girgashites, and the Jebusites.”

Gen 17:1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 8, 10-12, 14, 15, 16, 19 1 When Abram was ninety-nine years old, Yahweh appeared to Abram and said to him, “I am God Almighty. Walk before me and be blameless. 2 I will make my covenant between me and you, and will multiply you exceedingly.”

4 “As for me, behold, my covenant is with you. You will be the father of a multitude of nations. 5 Your name will no more be called Abram, but your name will be Abraham; for I have made you the father of a multitude of nations.

7 I will establish my covenant between me and you and your offspring after you throughout their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God to you and to your offspring after you. 8 I will give to you, and to your offspring after you, the land where you are traveling, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession. I will be their God.”

10 This is my covenant, which you shall keep, between me and you and your offspring after you. Every male among you shall be circumcised. 11 You shall be circumcised in the flesh of your foreskin. It will be a token of the covenant between me and you. 12 He who is eight days old will be circumcised among you, every male throughout your generations, he who is born in the house, or bought with money from any foreigner who is not of your offspring.

14 The uncircumcised male who is not circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin, that soul shall be cut off from his people. He has broken my covenant.”

15 God said to Abraham, “As for Sarai your wife, you shall not call her name Sarai, but her name will be Sarah. 16 I will bless her, and moreover I will give you a son by her. Yes, I will bless her, and she will be a mother of nations. Kings of peoples will come from her.”

19 God said, “No, but Sarah, your wife, will bear you a son. You shall call his name Isaac [Isaac means "he laughs"]. I will establish my covenant with him for an everlasting covenant for his offspring after him.

Exod 20:1-17 1 God spoke all these words, saying, 2 “I am Yahweh your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. 3 “You shall have no other gods before me. 4 “You shall not make for yourselves an idol, nor any image of anything that is in the heavens above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: 5 you shall not bow yourself down to them, nor serve them, for I, Yahweh your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and on the fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 and showing loving kindness to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments. 7 “You shall not misuse the name of Yahweh your God, for Yahweh will not hold him guiltless who misuses his name. 8 “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. 9 You shall labor six days, and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a Sabbath to Yahweh your God. You shall not do any work in it, you, nor your son, nor your daughter, your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your livestock, nor your stranger who is within your gates; 11 for in six days Yahweh made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day; therefore Yahweh blessed the Sabbath day, and made it holy. 12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which Yahweh your God gives you. 13 “You shall not murder. 14 “You shall not commit adultery. 15 “You shall not steal. 16 “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor. 17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.”

Exod 24:4-8 4 Moses wrote all Yahweh’s words, then rose up early in the morning and built an altar at the base of the mountain, with twelve pillars for the twelve tribes of Israel. 5 He sent young men of the children of Israel, who offered burnt offerings and sacrificed peace offerings of cattle to Yahweh. 6 Moses took half of the blood and put it in basins, and half of the blood he sprinkled on the altar. 7 He took the book of the covenant and read it in the hearing of the people, and they said, “We will do all that Yahweh has said, and be obedient.” 8 Moses took the blood, and sprinkled it on the people, and said, “Look, this is the blood of the covenant, which Yahweh has made with you concerning all these words.”

Exod 31:16 Therefore the children of Israel shall keep the Sabbath, to observe the Sabbath throughout their generations, for a perpetual covenant.

Exod 34:10-17 10 He said, “Behold, I make a covenant: before all your people I will do marvels, such as have not been worked in all the earth, nor in any nation; and all the people among whom you are shall see the work of Yahweh; for it is an awesome thing that I do with you. 11 Observe that which I command you today. Behold, I will drive out before you the Amorite, the Canaanite, the Hittite, the Perizzite, the Hivite, and the Jebusite. 12 Be careful, lest you make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land where you are going, lest it be for a snare among you; 13 but you shall break down their altars, and dash in pieces their pillars, and you shall cut down their Asherah poles; 14 for you shall worship no other god; for Yahweh, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God. 15 “Don’t make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land, lest they play the prostitute after their gods, and sacrifice to their gods, and one call you and you eat of his sacrifice; 16 and you take of their daughters to your sons, and their daughters play the prostitute after their gods, and make your sons play the prostitute after their gods. 17 “You shall make no cast idols for yourselves.

Exod 34:27, 28 27 Yahweh said to Moses, “Write these words; for in accordance with these words I have made a covenant with you and with Israel.” 28 He was there with Yahweh forty days and forty nights; he neither ate bread, nor drank water. He wrote on the tablets the words of the covenant, the ten commandments.

Lev 26:15, 16, 25, 41, 42, 44, 45 15 and if you shall reject my statutes, and if your soul abhors my ordinances, so that you will not do all my commandments, but break my covenant, 16 I also will do this to you: I will appoint terror over you, even consumption and fever, that shall consume the eyes, and make the soul to pine away. You will sow your seed in vain, for your enemies will eat it...

25 I will bring a sword upon you that will execute the vengeance of the covenant. You will be gathered together within your cities, and I will send the pestilence among you. You will be delivered into the hand of the enemy.

41 I also walked contrary to them, and brought them into the land of their enemies; if then their uncircumcised heart is humbled, and they then accept the punishment of their iniquity, 42 then I will remember my covenant with Jacob, my covenant with Isaac, and also my covenant with Abraham; and I will remember the land.

44 Yet for all that, when they are in the land of their enemies, I will not reject them, neither will I abhor them, to destroy them utterly and to break my covenant with them; for I am Yahweh their God. 45 But I will for their sake remember the covenant of their ancestors, whom I brought out of the land of Egypt in the sight of the nations, that I might be their God. I am Yahweh.’ ”

Num 10:33, 34 33 They set forward from the Mount of Yahweh three days’ journey. The ark of Yahweh’s covenant went before them three days’ journey, to seek out a resting place for them. 34 The cloud of Yahweh was over them by day, when they set forward from the camp.

Num 25:11-13 11 “Phinehas, the son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron the priest, has turned my wrath away from the children of Israel, in that he was jealous with my jealousy among them, so that I didn’t consume the children of Israel in my jealousy. 12 Therefore say, ‘Behold, I give to him my covenant of peace. 13 It shall be to him, and to his offspring after him, the covenant of an everlasting priesthood, because he was jealous for his God, and made atonement for the children of Israel.’ ”

Deut 4:13 He declared to you his covenant, which he commanded you to perform, even the ten commandments. He wrote them on two stone tablets.

Deut 7:9, 10 9 Know therefore that Yahweh your God himself is God, the faithful God, who keeps covenant and loving kindness with them who love him and keep his commandments to a thousand generations, 10 and repays those who hate him to their face, to destroy them. He will not be slack to him who hates him. He will repay him to his face.

Matt 26:26-28 26 As they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks for* it, and broke it. He gave to the disciples, and said, “Take, eat; this is my body.” 27 He took the cup, gave thanks, and gave to them, saying, “All of you drink it, 28  for this is my blood of the new covenant, which is poured out for many for the remission of sins.

Mark 14:22-24 22 As they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had blessed, he broke it, and gave to them, and said, “Take, eat. This is my body.” 23 He took the cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave to them. They all drank of it. 24 He said to them, “This is my blood of the new covenant, which is poured out for many.

Luke 22:19, 20 19 He took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body which is given for you. Do this in memory of me.” 20 Likewise, he took the cup after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.

1Cor 11:23-25 23 For I received from the Lord that which also I delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night in which he was betrayed took bread. 24 When he had given thanks, he broke it and said, “Take, eat. This is my body, which is broken for you. Do this in memory of me.” 25 In the same way he also took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink, in memory of me.”

[junker-town]

Predators fans throw catfish. What should fans of other NHL teams throw?

Cultural (and legal) ideas for the 30 other teams.

When a rogue Predators fan threw a disgusting dead catfish onto the Penguins’ ice in Game 1, fans tuning into the Stanley Cup Final might’ve been asking one question.

Why?

Yes, that. Thank you.

But I bet some were also wondering what their own fanbase throws on the ice. Surely all teams do this!

Nope. Only a few teams have caught onto this tradition. Which leaves us with the daunting task of coming up with ideas for all 31 NHL teams.

So far, as you’ll see, the three teams who do this regularly stick with animals. So for this thought exercise we’ll try to adhere to a few rules. We won’t nominate ideas:

If PETA is going to get pissed about it

If it’s illegal

If it’s offensive to a lot that goes on

Notice I didn’t say if it’s not possible. Anything is possible.

Let’s do this.

*Disclaimer: Don’t actually do any of these things. SB Nation does not condone the throwing of any of these items. I’m just idea-making here. Ideas are not endorsements. Wink.

Boston Bruins

If we were just going to stick with mascots here, we’d have to suggest a dead bear. But that doesn’t pass the PETA rule or the cost rule.

Simple googling tells me that wild turkeys are abundant in Massachussetts. You’re telling me a fan can’t smuggle a whole turkey into TD Garden?

Even if they couldn’t, you could totally hide a turkey breast or leg. This has potential.

Buffalo Sabres

One of two. Serious and non-serious.

Serious: buffalo wings. C’mon. Easy.

Non-serious: actual sabres. The players are basically wearing body armor. They’ll totally be fine.

Detroit Red Wings

Already figured out.

Florida Panthers

Also already solved in the Panthers’ third season and their 1996 playoffs run. From ThoughtCo.:

The story began during the franchise's third NHL season at the Miami Arena. Forward Scott Mellanby killed a rat with his hockey stick, which had tried scurrying across the team's locker room before the Panthers' home opener on October 8, 1995.

Mellanby went on to score two goals in the game with the same stick in which he killed the rat with. After the game, Florida's goaltender John Vanbiesbrouck then nicknamed Mellanby's feat the "Rat Trick."

Fans caught onto the story and started throwing rubber rats onto the ice after goals were scored. That led to this glorious scene:

So, yeah. No need for a new suggestion.

Montreal Canadiens

Canadians. Literally throw the Canadian next to you onto the ice.

Ottawa Senators

You can’t throw a senator unless you want to get arrested. Ignore the fact I just suggested you wouldn’t get arrested for throwing a Canadian. Just ignore that. Don’t worry about it.

You can, however, throw a gavel.

Tampa Bay Lightning

Unless you’re Zeus, you’re not going to throw lightning onto the ice.

Googling tells me that redfish are one of the more plentiful sporting fish in the Tampa area. So they could throw those.

But we all know that the Florida ecology is threatened. Why not help out by throwing these little buggers onto the ice?

That’s an Asian green mussel, an invasive species that wreaks havoc on intake pipes on ships, marinas and power plants. They also look ugly.

Okay, maybe just save those for when opponents score or something. Throw an alligator instead.

Toronto Maple Leafs

Imagine watching a fan trying to throw a leaf from his seat onto the ice. Hilarious.

But no. I also think that might be insulting to greater Canada. So fans should throw a maple tree onto the ice. Not branches. Entire trees.

theplantingtree.com

Don’t ask me how you’re supposed to sneak that into the arena. I provide the ideas, you provide the execution.

Carolina Hurricanes

If you really wanted to dig deep here you could throw tobacco. Maybe even barbecue.

But Krispy Kreme was started in North Carolina, and it would be absolutely wonderful if fans threw doughnuts onto the ice. Maybe even whole boxes! The fans get a fun sight and the players and refs get an in-game snack. Win-win.

Columbus Blue Jackets

Photo by Kirk Irwin/Getty Images

If you’re going to fire a cannon after every goal then you have to let fans throw cannonballs onto the ice every once and awhile. Them’s the rules.

New Jersey Devils

Devil-based idolatry might offend many people. Understandable. That’s why you throw traffic cones. I hear traffic in New Jersey is awful. A governor once told me that.

New York Islanders

Photo by Stephen Chernin/Getty Images

You have to celebrate Long Island’s seafood. Lots of options here. You could throw Blue Point oysters. You could throw clams.

But you could also get away with throwing Long Island ducks. Duck farming is apparently a big thing on Long Island, so nobody will get mad if you buy a duck and decide to launch it into a hockey game instead of dining on it.

New York Rangers

... blue shirts?

I’ve got nothing.

Philadelphia Flyers

My Philly coworkers tell me the food is good in Philly. Sure. I’ve never been, so I can’t disagree.

I almost put hoagie down for New Jersey because that’s where I thought it was from. Nope. It’s from Philly. So congrats, Flyers arena staff. You get to clean up after launched hoagies splatter all over the ice.

Pittsburgh Penguins

Awww. You can’t throw dead penguins onto the ice. That’s actually pretty disturbing.

But what do you associate most with Pittsburgh? That’s right. Bridges. Fans should throw a bridge onto the ice. Failing that, throw something made of steel. That’s safe enough. Probably safer than a bridge. Probably.

Washington Capitals

I’d say throw a swamp but that’s been drained, right? I was told that was drained.

I think it’d be a nice way to honor one of our greatest presidents by throwing top hats. Save your generic, normal hats for hat tricks. Top hats only come out for playoff runs.

Or throw a politician. Either one.

Vegas Golden Knights

Dice. Duh. Moving on.

Anaheim Ducks

Well. Ducks have already been taken by the Islanders. I know. This is confusing.

But fans can still honor the Mighty Ducks tradition by throwing Mighty Ducks action figures. Way better than real duck corpses.

Arizona Coyotes

Photo by Jared C. Tilton/Getty Images

Cacti. Are you kidding? Cacti. This was way too easy. Next team, please.

Calgary Flames

Throw fire.

Just kidding. No, throw lassos or cowboy hats or cowboy boots. Alberta (and Calgary, in particular) has a neat rural, ranching culture. And Calgary also hosts the Stampede, Canada’s largest annual rodeo festival. Embrace that and toss some rodeo items.

Like saddles! For the Saddledome! Perfect. Throw saddles.

Edmonton Oilers

Throw first round picks away. Wait, they’ve already done that a few times.

This is a deep cut, but stick with me.

Throw milkshakes to honor one of the best oil boom movies ever.

Los Angeles Kings

Crowns. Duh.

I guess if you wanted to throw something related to L.A. culture you could throw ... red carpets? Money? Flashing lights? Movies?

Wait. Yes. Movies.

Throw DVDs onto the ice. Boom. Forget the crowns. That was dumb.

San Jose Sharks

Too easy. I bet you could buy a shark at a market, right? A small shark, not a fully-grown one. Though if you can manage to smuggle in a whale shark then more power to you.

Vancouver Canucks

Another coastal town. So let’s go back to fish. And let’s go with a readily available Vancouver staple: salmon.

Or monkey puzzle trees. Because they sound and look funny.

123rf

Chicago Blackhawks

Lots of food-based options here. But I like the idea of smuggling a deep-dish pizza into United Center in your coat for two periods before frisbee-ing it onto the ice.

Colorado Avalanche

I have family members who’ve lived in Colorado and told me stories about being late to work because they had to wait for a herd of moose or elk to cross the road. Antlers can’t be too hard to acquire, right? You could totally toss antlers, as long as they weren’t all sharp and stuff.

Or mountains.

Dallas Stars

As a Dallas native, I feel uniquely prepared to answer this. Dallas fans should honor their city’s traditions by throwing corporate buildings onto the ice.

Kidding. Kind of. Dallas is way less “Texan” than you’d imagine. Cowboy stuff wouldn’t fit too well. But as the only Texas NHL team, they have to represent the whole state.

So, fine. Stars fans should throw cowboy stuff. Maybe hats. Maybe boots. Maybe horseshoes. Let’s go with horseshoes.

Minnesota Wild

Apparently there are a lot of lakes in Minnesota. And gophers. If you don’t mind offending some fellow fans by throwing a dead gopher on the ice, then go for it I guess. But if subtlety is more your game, go to your local Minnesota lake with an empty water bottle and fill it up. Toss it on the ice. Hope somebody gets the joke as you’re escorted out of the arena.

St. Louis Blues

What better way to celebrate the blues tradition than throwing saxophones?

Winnipeg Jets

Again, you could go moose antlers here. Or plane tickets.

But I like the idea of low-tech references to your team name. So make some really cool paper airplanes and toss those.