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tehstripe · 7 years

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2. Dear _______, - Dave/Rose Newspaper Columnist AU

I finally finished the second fic for my challenge! The prompt was “newspaper advice columnists who passive-aggressively diss one another in their advice au,” found in this AU list. Also this thing is a small monster that I will probably cross-post to AO3 after... a bit of editing and coding.

(Also keep an eye out I have a second fic to post tonight.)

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

Recently, my boyfriend has been acting strangely. He keeps asking about my schedule and when I'll be home. At first I assumed he was just asking so that he could work on planning dates, but whenever I ask him about his schedule, he gets very cagey and won't tell me exactly what he's doing. If I ever demand what he is doing, he tells me he is hanging out with "friends."

Is he cheating on me, or am I just reading into things? I want to confront him, but I don't want to ruin the relationship over something silly...

Sincerely, Am I Just Paranoid?

Dear Mx. Paranoid?

There are one of three options here.

The first is, naturally, the most boring. He is cheating on you. His so-called "friends" are in fact a short-hand for his elicit lover.

For your sake, I hope this is not the case, though I am sure it would be gratifying to know that your suspicions were at least somewhat justified. I would recommend actually talking to some of his friends in order to confirm the story that he is telling you. Is he truly hanging out with them, or is he just using them as a convenient excuse to ditch you?

A few caveats. First, even if his friends back up his story, they may be lying. You can test this by asking a few of them what they were up to and seeing if their stories match. If possible, I would recommend talking to some of their significant others, who will more likely be sympathetic to your cause.

If you do not know enough of his friends in order to ask them what they were up to on June 6th at 11:00 PM, consider that you may not be deep enough into this relationship to be too concerned about ruining it. Cut your losses and run. Even if he is not cheating on you, I cannot think of much good that will come from having a boyfriend who, early in the relationship, demands to know where you will be without properly reciprocating.

Naturally, if you do discover that your man is cheating on him, there is only one possible solution. You must sacrifice his body to Zathog the Great Old One. If he is pleased with your sacrifice, then he may grant you the ability to travel through both time and space, which is undeniably a much better thing to be in possession of than a cheating boyfriend.

Ah! But we must not overlook the other possibilities. You may also be in a situation pulled straight from a "Romantic Comedy," as the lay people refer to them, where you are led to believe your beau is cheating on you, when in truth, he is attempting to set up a beautiful surprise for you that only shows how much he loves you. Perhaps there is even a big diamond ring in your future?

Ah, but Miss Therapist, you may proclaim. However will I know whether or not I have found myself within the confines of a "Romantic Comedy"? The answer is simple. Look around you, at the people you surround yourself with. Do you have a gay best friend who gladly accepts the lofty title of "sassy"? Do you have a well-meaning girl friend (who you, mistakenly, call a "girlfriend" despite the fact that the two of you are straight) who is hapless, cute (but not as cute as you), and pursuing her own relationship off to the periphery of your existence? Are there any older women in your life who give you expressions that imply they have seen it all?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then congratulations! You are most likely a fictional character within a film that will be affectionately dubbed a "Chick Flick." On the bright side, you are undoubtedly being played by an attractive celebrity, so that is one important consolation prize to the unfortunate fact that you are not actually real.

You can also check this with his friends, of course.

The final, and frankly, most likely option is that he is planning his own ritualistic sacrifice to Zathog. He is most likely planning to sacrifice you. Get the jump on him. Forgo love and earthly attachments and become the space-and-time travelling god you were always destined to be.

I hope this helps.

Sincerely, The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I'm trying to think of what I should get my girlfriend for our two-year anniversary. She's honestly the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I want to make it special for her. Any ideas?

-- Two Years of Devotion

dear 2y devotion

okay my dude my buddy my pal

listen to this thing that you are asking me. really listen to it. take the page you are reading right now and hold it up to your ear all gentle like and let it whisper into your ear.

"i want to do something special" cool thats great thats a general thing that everybody who is not a douche wants to do for their significant other but think about this for a sec.

you went to an advice column for this shit. and dont get me wrong my advice column is unequivocally the best advice column cause unlike some columnists im not gonna suggest you throw your girlfriend to sh'blugh the tentacle horror from beyond the veil but

you gave me nothing to go on man

how do i make that special

like give me some details to go off of

you love this girl right tell me something about her

or i guess since its too late to tell me about her because this is a delayed conversation that gets publicly written and published in a magazine think about the kind of shit that she likes

like you probably already know the kind of shit that she likes if youre really as into her as you say

does your girl like flowers? get her some flowers does your girl like horses? get her a horse does your girl like sports? get her a sport

and like that goes for activities too if youve decided to date an adrenaline junkie take her to an amusement park or go skydiving or something

or even just crack open a bottle of fancy wine or whatever

shit is special if you make it special dude and if i tell you exactly what to do that ruins the whole idea of it being special

anyway good luck hope you dont bomb it

-- dj strider

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

I'm a mother of a beautiful girl who is currently in the second grade. She constantly comes home complaining of a boy bothering her in class. I have gone to her teacher to try and figure out what we can do to make her feel more comfortable at school, but the teacher simply said that the boy probably had a crush and told me that this was a normal peer interaction among children their age.

While I understand that many children do not know how to properly express their emotions or their feelings, I can't help but feel suspicious of this determination. My daughter has said that this boy has pulled her hair and pushed her down on the playground. I don't care what the teacher says - that is NOT the behavior of somebody with a crush.

Sincerely, Concerned Mother

Dear Miss Concerned,

You have every right to be concerned. However, the teacher is right. That boy almost certainly does have a crush.

You see, Miss Concerned, in all my years of giving advice and viewing the world from my lofty place above it, I have come to the conclusion that a man in love becomes the stupidist and most brute-ish thing imaginable. This starts from a very young age, and though the man may be able to temper his natural instincts upon growing older and even produce the occasional bouquet of flowers, this is natural. Why, even at my decidedly unspecified age, I sometimes encounter men who show their undying affection for me by "vagueing" me, as I understand is the modern parlance, in their own personal advice columns.

(By the by, Mr. Strider, everybody knows that my column has more regular readers than yours does.)

That said, this behavior is unacceptable. Were this a fully grown man, of course, I would say that you should toss him to the Old One of your choice as an offering of appeasement for not destroying our planet eons ago, but this is still just a second grade boy. Foolish and brutish as he may be, I will never condone child sacrifice. Instead, focus on the teacher.

Tell her that you don't care if this boy has a crush - it is unacceptable that your daughter is being made to feel unsafe and unhappy in a place of learning, which should be open to her. Children do not learn or grow well in environments they are uncomfortable in. If this boy is making her uncomfortable then, whatever his reasons for doing that may be, he needs to be talked to and he needs to be stopped. That is the long and short of it. If the teacher seems unwilling to help, take it to the principal. If the principal is equally reluctant, then pitch a fit and give some of your fellow parents a reason to outrage. Make the local news. Cause a national movement for little boys to stop pulling little girl's hair in an attempt to flirt. Eventually, the teacher will have to give in. Or at the very least, pressure from social media will get her fired for showing such painful neglect at her job.

Once that happens, naturally, you may sacrifice her to the Old One of your choosing.

I hope that these words bring you comfort and wisdom. You sound like you are a good and caring mother.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I have a crush on a guy, but I don't know how to get his attention. What can I do to get him to notice me?

-- Crushing in California

dear crushinator

well first off let me tell you what NOT to do

the thing that you definitely dont do is call this guy out for vagueing you on your very public advice column especially if youre going to pretend that youre a cool dark mistress of the night who ritually sacrifices people to the tentacled gods of your nightmares i mean okay i guess i should specify that you will definitely get noticed but not in the way that you want despite that saying there is such a thing as bad attention especially when youre attempting to woo a guy

anyways i guess it really depends on the kind of guy youre looking at what do you know about this dude is he into video games?? go take a picture of yourself with a controller in your mouth and accidentally send it to him then hell know for sure that youre a gamer gurl and hell ask to play some fresh games with you and then you have an in (make sure youre actually okay at video games though maybe)

is he into sports??? go dress yourself as a ball

or wear a jersey with his favorite team on it or something

just get a conversation started honestly or if youre already in the conversation zone you can start dropping mad innuendos left and right maybe put on some nice clothes or bat your eyelashes a bit you know just do something special

and again dont call him out on "vagueing" you or hell just continue to talk smack about you to his huge avid fanbase and then youll just be sad and embarrassed

hope that helps

-- dj strider

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

I'm a high school student and there's a few people who keep bothering me on social media. They aren't bullying me or anything, but they keep mentioning me in posts and responding to all of my statuses. It's getting kind of annoying. What should I do?

Sincerely, I just want some peace and quiet on my FB Feed!

Dear FB Feeder,

Truly, now you understand the trials and tribulations that I myself face on a near daily basis. I do not know you or your body of work, but clearly within the realm of your school, you must be somewhat famous.

Now, I do not know the gender or sexual orientation of these bothering people you mention, but I would hazard a guess that at least one or two of them are interested in pursuing you romantically, but due to having the emotional maturity of a teenager, they do not know how to pursue you in a way that is not hugely annoying.

I am sure you would like to hear that this behavior will naturally fade over time as said teenagers grow and mature into proper young adults, but I am saddened to inform you that often this is not the case. Why, one can even become a semi-professional advice columnist and yet still resort to calling out their crushes in a public space. Therefore, you will need to take some actions in order to ease your own annoyance at the situation.

The easiest option would, of course, be to block them, but I do not claim to be an expert on the delicate social balance of your high school. Perhaps blocking these individuals would be a social faux pas from which you could never recover. In that case, many websites (and I suspect this mysterious "FB" is among them) have a way to block people from showing up on your feed. This may not solve the problem, but may fix some of the annoyance.

You could also try talking to them. Tell them that their constant attention is annoying and unflattering. If they are trying to impress you, then they will back off. If they are trying to get to you, then they are bullying you, and you can report them to the adult of your choice.

Naturally there is always the option of throwing them to the Beasts Below, who quite enjoy annoying human souls.

I hope this helps.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear Disc Jockey Strider,

I have a quandary. You see, there is a particular rival of me who seems to, as of late, decided to take it upon himself to mention me in nearly every single public answer he grants to his purported legion of devoted fans. I am beginning to think that perhaps there is something more to his constant mentions of me. Is this a cry for help? Could it be that the adviser, in this case, should become the advisee?

Sincerely, An Anonymous, but Concerned, Reader

dear anonymous tentacle therapist,

yeah haha nice try

--- dj strider

dear tentacle mistress of the night,

hey so i have this problem and that problem is primarily the fact that theres this creepy advice columnist whos constantly up in my grill and i think shes gotta be in love with me

i mean i also have a problem in that im just drowning in so many fans that i cant barely see straight but thats one hundred percent beside the point

whats my plan of action here do i let her down gently or what

sincerely, a super cool dude with a better advice column than this

Dear Your Advice Column Is Not Better,

It certainly sounds like you have quite the conundrum but I must wonder. Is it her that is in love with you? Or might you be projecting somewhat? After all, it seems to me that you might have been the one who started it. If her responses, as you claim, indicate that she is clearly in love with you, then I am afraid that by your same logic you must simply be head over heels.

In that case, I would not recommend letting her down gently. Not because of her feelings - oh no. I doubt that she has feelings one way or the other about whether or not you actually get the guts to ask her out. No, I would highly recommend that you not let her down gently because, based on what I have inferred from you in this very anonymous and mysterious question, I worry for the implications on your psyche should you make the decision to try and turn this girl down before you have ever confessed your feelings.

No, my professional recommendation is that you suck it up and you go to her and you ask her out. She will likely turn you down, of course. I understand that she has high standards. But if you continue to keep your feelings pent up, it will only hurt you and those around you. Besides, if you do not give it a shot, then you will never know what could come from it. You never know. You might just be surprised by what she says, if you go about it the right way.

Also, I do know for a fact that you have her number.

Your move, Strider.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I was wondering, what's your advice for what to do on a first date? I just met this really pretty girl and we've been flirting a lot, and she agreed to go out with me. But now I have to actually think of a good date idea! What should I do?

Also, since it is a first date, I don't know THAT much about her, since I know that's usually what you tell people who come to you for relationship advice. I mean, that's what the first date is for, right?

Sincerely, Nervous First Timer

dear nervous,

okay yeah for once you got a situation in which im not gonna come over and sit your ass down about actually knowing your girlfriends interests because hey news flash shes not your girlfriend

yet

dont worry my man i will come up with a plan to fully woo this girl and you will then have a girlfriend and then maybe even a wife

just send me a wedding invite okay

actually this goes for everyone if i ever land you a wife or a husband or a gender non specific spouse send me a fuckin wedding invite i probably wont go but i might and i give you permission to advertise to all of your friends and family that you might have a minor local celebrity attending your big special day

but yeah first dates

first off you probably want to do something with a specific end time or else youre gonna end up trapped in a moment of like is it time to end this? do i wanna be the one who has to say i have to go? if nothing else give yourself an excuse to leave at a specific time like you gotta meet a friend or catch a bus

the other thing is that you gotta make sure you leave time to actually you know. talk.

i know seeing a movie seems really tempting and yeah movie dates can be fun but consider what youre actually doing on that date

youre staring at a screen while sitting next to somebody who is a borderline stranger and maybe enjoying a baller flick but are you really advancing that relationship at all?

nah

so yeah generally something like a lunch or a dinner can be pretty good but it can be tricky and awkward if you dont know what youre gonna talk about like what if you start talking and realize you got nothing in common that you actually care about

so thats either good for a second date or if youre like an awesome conversationalist who is always confident that youre able to keep a conversation going no matter who youre talking to

so its usually a good idea to do something thats a little more focused

if you do know anything about her then you can bring her to an event you know she might like

maybe a museum or something? aquarium? zoo? i guess a sport game could work but as i understand it there are drones that come around and demand that you kiss for the crowd so maybe thats not the best idea

anyways just make sure its something for you guys to talk about other than your own awkward burgeoning romance

anyways in the end the important thing is just be yourself dude

i can say from recent personal experience that being yourself works wonders and if it doesnt work wonders then that probably means that the relationship wasnt gonna work well anyways

just make sure you dont dump all your biggest darkest secrets on the first date though or else you dont give your nosy date anything to come back for the next time

but actually that maybe only works if your date is trying to pretend she is a therapist

anyways good luck dude hopefully that gave you some good ideas

-- dj strider

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

I'm in a kind of new relationship and it is going great! This guy is great and I could really see it going places. We've been going steady for about a month and a half now, but he's seemed really hesitant about telling other people about us. He won't list himself as being in a relationship on social media, and though some of our mutual friends obviously know, I don't know how vocal he's been about it with the other people in his life.

Now, we are gay, but he's also really openly gay to everybody that he knows, so I don't think that's a big part of it. Everybody knows he likes guys, so the fact that he's dating me shouldn't be that big of a deal. So what's going on? Does he just really value his privacy or is he planning to dump me soon? What signs should I be looking out for. (I need to know when it is appropriate to plan my tentacled sacrifice after all. :P)

Sincerely, Are We Dating Or What?

Dear Schrodinger's Boyfriend,

I'm afraid that going public with a relationship is always a tricky thing, regardless of whether or not the status of your sexuality is broadcast to the entire world. There are many, many reasons that your boyfriend may not want to go public with you. I will, of course, get the obvious out of the way. He may be possessed by one of the Old Ones, in which case, they are notoriously shy about their relationships. They have lived for millenia, so they feel no reason to rush through things. Be patient with them, and it will pay off in a major way.

Now, there is the (admittedly slim) chance that your beau is but a normal human man, with all of the normal lovable foibles of human men. If this is the case, I can see a few options.

The first is the one that I think you are the most scared of - he's Just Not That Into You. Either he is cheating on you (or perhaps you are the one he is cheating with?) or he has plans to end the relationship soon. I cannot predict which of these it is, but if you have mutual friends who know, it may not be a bad idea to ask one of them for their input on the situation. Naturally, if either of these is the case, offer his body up for possession by an Old One. You will have the same problem, but rest assured that the Old One will be faithful and loyal to you up until the point it decides to use your flesh organs as part of an important summoning ritual.

The second option is simply that he is shy or cautious. Maybe, despite being openly gay, he is still somewhat embarrassed by a relationship. Perhaps he has relatives who would harass you if they knew who you were.

Or perhaps he has been burned by rushing into a public relationship in the past.

Perhaps he was, once upon a time, with another boy who he went public with too soon. Perhaps the pressure of the relationship made him feel like he had to perform that relationship to an extent that felt unnatural to him. Perhaps he didn't like how it felt, having something so new, personal, and delicate being handed out to the world at large.

I don't know the type of people who might like to look at your boyfriend's life, but it is also entirely possible that he would not want them to know of any relationship of his, simply because they will find a way to butt their noses in and ruin it. An overbearing mother, perhaps? Nosy friends? A needy ex, who will proceed to harass you as soon as your name is out there as being his "Facebook Official" beau.

Needless to say, there are many reasons that he could want to refrain from making your relationship public that actually have very little to do with your relationship. In fact, it could even be a sign that he values your relationship. He values what you have so much that he doesn't want to share what you have with the rest of the world and thus risk losing it.

Though, of course, he could be cheating. It is possible that I am injecting some of my own thought processes too heavily into this answer. I do not truly know your boyfriend, so I cannot say for sure what his thoughts are. The best thing I can really advise you do is... ask.

Good luck.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I think that two of my friends have hooked up, but I'm not sure. They used to be really annoying to each other, and our other friends and I always joked that they were flirting, but I at least never actually meant it. But now they don't bother each other as much and they're just kind of... calm together. And there are a lot of times that the two of them are pretty obviously missing from group get togethers.

So... were they actually flirting?? Are they dating now?? What if they break up? That will just make them even more annoying!

Sincerely, Kind of Grossed Out

dear kind of

yeah your friends are definitely banging now and yeah they probably were always actually flirting but they might not have been aware of it

see sometimes if you are an asshole you dont know how to express affection apart from acting like an extra asshole to the people that you like and usually this is a self correcting feature since like youll drive away all of the people you like so they dont have to put your extra asshole-ness the real kicker comes when you end up crushing on somebody who can actually match your punches and act like an equally big asshole in return

its a very delicate dance honestly and you should just be glad that you got to view it in its natural habitat if only youd caught it on camera you could have sold that shit to discovery channel and got richard attenborough to dub over it with his cool nature documentary voice and here we see the assholes in their elaborate mating ritual though it may look like a fight to outsiders they are actually both getting really turned on by it and are gonna fuck vigorously in a month or two

anyways yeah its gonna suck if they break up but honestly what break up doesnt suck

i dont think the way that the flirting process happens really dictates how much a break up process is going to suck and from personal experience probably theyd be less annoying broken up than theyd be together since theyd just avoid each other which is a whole other kinda stress but yeah

i guess what im trying to say is yes your friends are definitely boning down embrace it and congratulate them or something also make sure that none of them are in charge of any advice columns

-- dj strider

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

Hello, I Am A Long Time Reader, First Time Writer

I Was Simply Wondering How One Would Hypothetically Go About Wooing An Advice Columnist That They Thought Was Very Clever And Humorous

This Is A Hypothetical Scenario Of Course I Was Just Wondering

Sincerely, A Fan

Dear Cooling Unit,

Honestly, I stared at this letter for quite a while, wondering how to answer it. I would have guessed that this was written by DJ Strider, in fact, if I didn't know for a fact that he would never put enough effort into writing something to press the shift button that often.

Regardless, I am sure that now is about the point where I am supposed to tell you how to woo me. This is where you expect me to say that the worst way to woo me is to slyly reference me in your public column for the whole world to see. Honestly, that is a technique that I would not have expected to work on paper, but it must have its merits.

At any rate, I suspect that technique would not work on most advice columnists, so I suppose I will simply continue under the assumption that this is the Very General And Hypothetical Advice that you assured me you were asking for.

My simple advice is thus: treat wooing them like you would any other person. If you do not know them in real life or do not have an easy way to contact them other than through their advice column, then pursuing a relationship is inadvisable. They will treat you as yet another fan, and I can say from personal experience that I am not terribly interested in dating fans.

"Fans," you see, tend to put you up on a pedestal. They take a look at you and think that you have hung the moon, which means that the only way for their opinion of you to go is down. Having a healthy, normal outlook on your strengths and weaknesses as a partner is down-grading their image of you, which means that no matter what, you will become a disappointment to them. The moment you mess up in front of somebody who idolizes you, it will feel like a betrayal to them, because you don't match the perfect image they have built in their head.

No, I would be far more interested in pursuing somebody who is my equal, through and through, and I suspect the same is true of most other hypothetical advice columnists. If you do find one who is excited by the fact you are a fan, they are undoubtedly an egotistical narcissist who wants to hear about how they hung the moon. While I do not deny that hearing of my moon-hanging exploits is quite the enjoyable experience for me, it is not a solid foundation for a relationship. If you find such a columnist who wants to build a relationship on that, might I recommend putting a sample of their blood into a summoning circle to bring about a personal curse on their house and home?

At any rate, any advice that is seeking out this particular advice columnist's interest will, sadly, be too little too late. Against all odds, I happen to be taken with somebody else.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I kind of pissed my girlfriend off. How do I get back on her good side?

Sincerely, In the Dog House

dear i hope thats not a petplay reference holy shit,

okay see this is why people need to provide me more details about their problems like look at me i write long and heartfelt messages to all of you

like i really inject my soul into these answers make sure theyre multi paragraph endeavors and what do you give me?

"oh yeah my girlfriends pissed" like what do you want me to do with that theres so many factors at play here about how to get back on her good side or even if such a feat is possible cause trust me there are ways to get on a bad side permanently and for all i know you have done something worthy of the permanent bad side

like did you fucking go out and cheat on her?? if so then go ahead and dump yourself she doesnt deserve to put up with you

if you just like forgot to wash the dishes that one time or something???? yeah thats probably an offense you can recover from and im hoping that youre talking about something like that over the cheating because i am not a pro cheating advice column ill have you know

im a respectable advice column with family values and also a decent and healthy amount of respect for all romantic partners

anyways if you did something like forget an anniversary then that depends entirely on the girl and how long youve been together and how badly you forgot it

if it is a make up-able offense though what you do to get on her good side is......... also dependent on some awesome details that you didnt fucking give me

like my dude did you put effort into this question at all

did you just decide to mass produce this so that you could send it to multiple advice bogs? actually im gonna ask around and see if anybody else i know got it

anyways its a shit question put more effort in next time

some general shit you can do is obviously like buy her something that she likes take her on a special date to a place that she likes or try and do the thing you screwed up the first time but dont screw it up this time

but mostly just apologize

though i kinda hope you did that already because if you didnt even think to toss a lil im sorry in between the time you sent this and the time it took me to process it and actually respond then im sorry you might be beyond help

oh yeah that said one way to get on a girlfriends good side is to be a super famous advice columnist because then whatever you write will be public and apparently your girlfriend could be into public apologies like i dont know you didnt give me enough to work with

but i guess this is to say uh

sorry for joking about the thing you were right youre always right everybody should go to the best advice column ever the tentacled therapist for all of your best advice needs

(that was not a paid advertisement btw but i cant say that it was done entirely by choice)

((but no really im joshing you dont tell tt but her advice is actually pretty sound. even some of the ritual sacrifice stuff is kinda reasonable when you think about it. she usually only recommends it to assholes that deserve it its not just a blanket ritual since thatd have no meaning))

anyways good luck i guess?

like good luck if you arent a douchebag and i guess if you ARE a douchebag then good luck to your girlfriend i hope she dumps you and goes on to clearer waters

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

I'm thinking of proposing soon. What are your thoughts on a public proposal? On the one hand, it's kind of romantic getting to share a special moment with a lot of other people... but on the other hand, it does kind of trap the other person into saying yes because they don't want to seem like a jerk in front of a lot of other people. What do you think is the way to go with this one?

Sincerely, Nervous Proposer

Dear Nervous Proposition,

Whether or not a public proposal is a good idea depends entirely on the person that you are proposing to.

By this point, I would hope that you had some sort of idea about what the person you are proposing to might like as far as public proposals. Are they easily embarrassed by attention, or do they soak it up like they are plants who desperately need all available sunlight for photosynthesis? How keen are they on things such as surprise birthday parties? Have you ever thrown them a surprise birthday party? Perhaps, before considering marriage, you should throw them a surprise birthday party. You cannot truly know a person until you have seen their reaction to such a fiasco.

I would also recommend that the two of you have discussed the topic of marriage before you even consider popping the question to your prospective fiance. I wouldn't propose until the two of you consider yourselves to be - and I apologize for my use of this cliché - "engaged to be engaged." Make sure that your partner is planning on the prospect of a marriage with you.

You might even consider doing two proposals - one more subdued, in private, just to make sure that they say yes. Then you can propose that you have a big surprise that the two of you get to share with everybody else, and you get to propose a second time without any of the stress.

Now, personally, public proposals are not my style, and anybody dating me would know better than to do such a proposal. But.

That is assuming that they can beat me to the punch. ;)

I wish you luck in your endeavors, and I am sorry there was no good place for sacrifices to the Old Ones in this week's column.

Sincerely, The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

Who should I pick to be my Maid of Honor? I have two really good friends. One I am closer to, and I know she'll probably pick me to be her maid of honor... but the other one is a LOT better at planning shit out. I know that if I pick her, my wedding will be run like a well-oiled machine, but I also don't want to upset my other friend. Then again, the friend who's good at planning might be offended that I chose the closer friend, and be frustrated when she has to deal with her bad planning as a bridesmaid.

So... who do I pick? It feels like I lose no matter what.

Sincerely, Fretting Fiance

dear ff

yo i fucking hear you on this shit weddings are the most stressful thing that has ever been invented by man

i mean man in the generic sense btw not the male human sense though i guess it might have also been made by a male human? idk i should ask about the history of weddings later maybe

anyways its all politics dont let anybody tell you any different

like you gotta be oh so careful with your seating placements at the reception or ol grandma berthas gonna tear the eyes out of uncle jimmy and we cant risk getting that blood all over the table cloths or else were gonna have to pay a really big fee to the table cloth company we hired and were already gonna be broke because of the honeymoon

and yeah we gotta make sure that shellys the bridesmaid second from the left because otherwise shell block out kelly in all the wedding pictures and kelly will pitch a fit

anyways i guess the easiest thing to do is going to just be to talk to them

you could always offer to split the honor between the two of them too if your planny friend is as good as planning as you say i bet you can come up with a good way to work 2 maids of honor into the ceremony

also uh i guess this is a good a time as any to make a lil announcement guys

so after april rolls around im not gonna be dj strider anymore

better get ready to start making your pleas for help out to dj lalonde

-- the artist formerly known as dj strider

#homestuck #daverose #dersecest #though they are not related in this fic #stripe writes #stripe au challenge

22 notes · View notes

bbgleeproject · 7 years

Text

youtube

[2/6/17, 10:41:50 PM] Roxy: andie and i have a showmance already [2/6/17, 10:42:01 PM] Roxy: we had lots of banter lol

[2/6/17, 10:51:17 PM] Roxy: lollolo [2/6/17, 10:58:27 PM] Roxy: I’ve been added to a felinenist alliance and now a menemist group lol

[2/7/17, 1:40:42 AM] Roxy: oh god I’m so fucked for this game everyone knows each other like buddys for life [2/7/17, 1:40:49 AM] Roxy: they just had like a 4 hour call and its still going lol

[2/7/17, 10:31:33 AM] Ruthie: (*) WILL YOU BE TRYING TO SHOWMANCE ANYONE THIS SEASON? (*) [2/7/17, 3:35:43 PM] Roxy: Yes. U.

[2/7/17, 11:03:34 PM] Ruthie: (*) NICHOLAS WON HOH. HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT THAT? (*) [2/7/17, 11:04:48 PM] Roxy: they do that exact star thingy in dreamworld smh [2/7/17, 11:05:33 PM] Roxy: use like [2/7/17, 11:05:35 PM] Roxy: (dance) [2/7/17, 11:05:48 PM] Roxy: (dance) NICHOLAS WON HOH. HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT THAT? (dance) [2/7/17, 11:06:02 PM] Roxy: good lol we good

[2/9/17, 10:49:08 PM] Ruthie: (*) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT NICHOLAS WINNING POV? (*)

(*) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR CLIQUE? (*) [2/10/17, 12:32:42 AM] Roxy: Nicholas is bae and p I my cliwueare there

[2/11/17, 6:25:30 AM] Roxy: everyone isa prisoner [2/11/17, 6:25:37 AM] Roxy: americans and canadians and aussies [2/11/17, 6:25:41 AM] wolfchief1998: you are the only prisoner. [2/11/17, 6:25:49 AM] wolfchief1998: with terrible grammar. [2/11/17, 6:25:52 AM] Roxy: I’m a prisoner caasue I’m into bdsm smh [2/11/17, 6:26:00 AM] Roxy: my grammar is fine I’m just too lazy to type welll

[2/11/17, 8:15:28 AM] Roxy: And I usually theow hohs lol [2/11/17, 8:15:46 AM] Roxy: In embb3 I thre almost all of the hohs [2/11/17, 8:19:55 AM] Roxy: Lelmoo where t f ddo u even live tbh

[2/12/17, 2:08:54 AM] Roxy: LOL [2/12/17, 2:09:02 AM] Roxy: im in a weird mood [2/12/17, 2:09:03 AM] Roxy: like [2/12/17, 2:09:05 AM] Roxy: im hyperactive [2/12/17, 2:09:10 AM] Roxy: and my sexual banter [2/12/17, 2:09:11 AM] Roxy: is like [2/12/17, 2:09:13 AM] Roxy: unstoppablee!!

[2/12/17, 2:10:15 AM] Ruthie: I can tell! :P [2/12/17, 2:12:58 AM] Roxy: ;) you wanna do more than tell? ou wanna feel? [2/12/17, 2:12:58 AM] Roxy: jks [2/12/17, 2:12:59 AM] Roxy: bye

[2/12/17, 3:06:53 PM] AshleySarah ~Glee Host~: (lips) YOU NOW HAVE MONO. NAME WHICH HOUSEGUEST YOU WOULD LIKE TO INFECT WITH MONO. (lips)

Chrissa Elijah [2/12/17, 3:07:13 PM] moioonelmo: roxy choose wisely!! [2/12/17, 3:07:34 PM] Ruthie: GOOD LUCK <3 [2/12/17, 3:07:36 PM] moioonelmo: and ill stand by your decision! [2/12/17, 4:48:25 PM] Roxy: Lol [2/12/17, 4:48:43 PM] Roxy: Julia wants me to kiss ellijah so that nic cpuld be nommed [2/12/17, 4:50:40 PM] AshleySarah ~Glee Host~: Is that your answer???? [2/12/17, 4:50:54 PM] Roxy: No lol [2/12/17, 4:51:02 PM] Roxy: Its my musings [2/12/17, 4:51:21 PM] AshleySarah ~Glee Host~: Let us know your final decision!!!! [2/12/17, 4:54:53 PM] Ruthie: :* [2/12/17, 4:55:57 PM] Roxy: I probably wont say till abput 11 am my time during my break [2/12/17, 4:57:37 PM] Ruthie: Let us know soon! :) [2/12/17, 5:03:34 PM] Roxy: 11 is in 2hrs lol [2/12/17, 5:05:03 PM] Ruthie: :o :o :o [2/12/17, 5:05:10 PM] moioonelmo: #pressure [2/12/17, 5:05:26 PM] Ruthie: Decisions decisions [2/12/17, 5:05:40 PM] Roxy: Lol [2/12/17, 5:06:17 PM] Roxy: If I bite elijah I hurt an ally slightly and I become a sheep of the Julia rae cult [2/12/17, 5:06:36 PM] Roxy: But if I dont bite elijah I hurt the cult and they might go aftdr me for it

[2/12/17, 5:58:27 PM] Roxy: C.p this: [2/12/17, 5:59:54 PM] Roxy: As a fujoshi (google it) I cannot kiss elijah! Id prefferto watch him kiss another guy! So I kiss chrissa cause tgeir lip looks so sensual and invoting my pussy was like bitch if u dont kids this hoe im slappi, u

[2/13/17, 12:09:41 AM] Ruthie: (lips) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ELIJAH WINNING HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD? (lips) [2/13/17, 12:26:37 AM] Roxy: Hungry

[2/14/17, 6:59:10 AM] Roxy: ugh coudlnt find anything [2/14/17, 6:59:55 AM] Roxy: elmo T_T [2/14/17, 7:01:20 AM] Roxy: elmo lol i joined an org about a tv show i never seen an episode of lol

[2/16/17, 8:54:05 PM] AshleySarah ~Glee Host~: (*) How do you feel about Chrissa leaving? Do you think there will be a buyback? How important is HOH? (*) [2/17/17, 12:52:26 AM] Roxy: buyback maybe idc much she didn’t care for me so meh

[2/17/17, 2:12:53 AM] Roxy: i want a new one each week! [2/17/17, 2:13:02 AM] Roxy: but idk that many ppl lol [2/17/17, 8:12:51 AM] Roxy: i wanna add chris as a guest lol [2/17/17, 8:12:57 AM] Roxy: and maybe to the guest list for main [2/17/17, 8:13:12 AM] Roxy: he isn’t very iconic but he is the leader of the survivor community we play in

[2/17/17, 9:48:22 AM] Roxy: lol [2/17/17, 9:48:39 AM] Roxy: chris i joined an org about a show i never watched and the things are about the show and i got no clue lol [2/17/17, 9:48:47 AM] Roxy: which reminds me that imma have to abstain from hoh [2/17/17, 9:49:05 AM] Roxy: it like a challenge where you gotta put a video in sequence like snces from an episode of glee lol

[2/17/17, 9:49:40 AM] Roxy: lul [2/17/17, 9:49:53 AM] Roxy: i don’t even like glee lol I’m just here for ruthie

[2/17/17, 9:00:18 PM] Ruthie: Hey, Julia, are you going to try for HOH or are you really abstaining? (lips) [2/17/17, 9:00:47 PM] Roxy: um if this thingy requiring me of editing the actual video? [2/17/17, 9:01:01 PM] Roxy: or can i random.org scenes? lol

[2/17/17, 11:22:13 PM] Ruthie: (lips) THERE WASN’T AN ADVANTAGE IN THE HOH RESULTS POST THIS WEEK! DO YOU THINK ONE WILL SHOW UP OR….? (lips) [2/17/17, 11:26:55 PM] Roxy: if it does ill be unable to find it due to my lack of knowledge of glee [2/17/17, 11:27:03 PM] Roxy: also low key if there isnt a singing comp ill cry [2/17/17, 11:27:11 PM] Roxy: and if you do it after i get evicted ill cry harder

[2/18/17, 12:41:09 PM] AshleySarah ~Glee Host~: (*) WITH SO MUCH GOING ON IN THE HOUSE WHO DO YOU KNOW YOU CAN TRUST?? WHO IS DEFINITELY NOT TRUST WORTHY??? (*) [2/18/17, 4:00:06 PM] Roxy: Ur FACE

[2/21/17, 4:13:37 PM] Roxy: Lol [2/21/17, 4:13:48 PM] Roxy: I dont like glee cause its too fake for me

[2/21/17, 9:55:31 PM] AshleySarah ~Glee Host~: (party) I’m here if you’re ready to get punished! (party) [2/21/17, 9:55:41 PM] Ruthie: PUNISH HER ASHLEY SARAH ;) [2/21/17, 9:55:45 PM] Roxy: omg i accepted al lthe punishments in dreamworld lmfao [2/21/17, 9:55:47 PM] Ruthie: (party) [2/21/17, 9:55:49 PM] Roxy: lmfaooo im ready

[2/22/17, 10:54:46 AM] AshleySarah ~Glee Host~: (party) WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON SUES TAKEOVER??? (party) [2/22/17, 4:08:58 PM] Roxy: Who? [2/22/17, 4:14:00 PM] Roxy: Oh lmfao

[2/25/17, 8:00:48 PM] Roxy: kurt is my fav so far cause like he is so fationable [2/25/17, 8:00:59 PM] Roxy: fuck you guys i think I’m going to watch glee episode 1 now after this collage [2/25/17, 8:01:00 PM] Roxy: ugh [2/25/17, 8:01:05 PM] Roxy: tbh i rememebr watchign episode 1 before [2/25/17, 8:01:08 PM] Roxy: casue i was curious [2/25/17, 8:01:10 PM] Roxy: never finished it

[2/26/17, 7:17:09 PM] Roxy: ;P [2/26/17, 7:17:14 PM] Roxy: side note i had a glee daydream today

[3/1/17, 11:12:19 PM] Roxy: loool [3/1/17, 11:12:22 PM] Roxy: try to save yourself:: [3/1/17, 11:12:27 PM] Roxy: this is how i tried to save myself [3/1/17, 11:12:36 PM] Roxy: [2/03/2017 2:15:02 pm] Roxyearl (EMVivor Host): 2017-02-25, 1:00:39 AM] zach: if you use the veto [2017-02-25, 1:00:40 AM] zach: sydneys going up [2017-02-25, 1:00:41 AM] zach: ive decided . [2017-02-25, 1:01:00 AM] julia rae: why wont u put up roxy [2/03/2017 2:15:04 pm] Roxyearl (EMVivor Host): tea? [2/03/2017 2:55:59 pm] julia rae: i don't know why it's just me when literally it was other people's idea [3/1/17, 11:13:13 PM] Roxy: [2/03/2017 1:50:02 pm] nicholas: yeah but you shouldn’t assume you were safe [2/03/2017 1:50:06 pm] nicholas: week 1 i had to come to you [2/03/2017 1:50:13 pm] nicholas: when i was hoh [2/03/2017 1:50:38 pm] Roxyearl (EMVivor Host): sorry i just assumed you wouldn’t be foolish enough to nom me cause its such a useless move [2/03/2017 1:50:49 pm] Roxyearl (EMVivor Host): and i never had it going for you so you’ve had no reason to either [2/03/2017 1:51:10 pm] Roxyearl (EMVivor Host): and the one person you thought i was working with bussed me so idk why you’d wnana believe what he said PLUS he nonmed me [2/03/2017 1:51:42 pm] Roxyearl (EMVivor Host): pluses its pretty obvious how bad my social game is in glee bb [2/03/2017 1:52:00 pm] Roxyearl (EMVivor Host): so i assumed u wouldn’t be foolish enough to waste your hoh like that [3/1/17, 11:13:24 PM] Roxy: XD this is my tryna save myself [3/1/17, 11:13:25 PM] Roxy: kekek

[3/1/17, 11:26:50 PM] Roxy: rather [3/1/17, 11:26:53 PM] Roxy: there were 4 noms [3/1/17, 11:26:54 PM] Roxy: *Are [3/1/17, 11:27:08 PM] Roxy: and 1 is a target of a majority pre made in this game [3/1/17, 11:27:22 PM] Roxy: so ill be safe if he doesn’t win pov

[3/3/17, 6:13:22 PM] Roxy: Yes lolits a buyback now [3/3/17, 6:13:29 PM] Roxy: It was 3-3 [3/3/17, 6:13:34 PM] nightoned: ouch [3/3/17, 6:13:41 PM] Roxy: And that hoe nicholas voted me out the hoh

1 note · View note

sadrien · 7 years

Text

wanna chat? pt. 14

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

i got my harry potter nerd on for this chapter, mostly because i wanted to write and didn't know what to write about

also, i'm glad you all liked the previous chapter <3

dipshit = adrien fergie = alya no = nino dancing queen = mari

enjoy~

16:30

fergie: its 2 quiet in here time for the #discourse

no: no

fergie: shit im blanking i need a topiC @the babs: someone pls

no: i refuse to support this

dipshit: Anything?

fergie: yes

dipshit: Ok give me a second

no: fuck dude i just wanted a day of chill

fergie: babe with friends like us thats just not possible

dancing queen: What are we doing??

dipshit: Hogwarts house discourse Go

no: i cant believe i have to break up with you

fergie renamed this conversation to “hogwarts house discourse”.

dancing queen: Oh no

fergie: alright alright alright adrien = puff mari = puff nino = puff

dipshit: How do you figure

no: uhhh

dancing queen: Sorry al that seems wrong

dancing queen: oh it is it definitely is but ur all sweet enough for hufflepuff and loyal and we all eat too much food hmmm realistic one… adrien = puff mari = snake nino = raven mayb

dipshit: Make Mari Gryffindor and I’ll agree with you

fergie: whaaaaaat our girl is ambitious aF theres no way

dipshit: But she’s also a really strong leader and incredibly brave

dancing queen: If were arguing over anyone Id say adrien should be a gryffindor Oh wait maybe ravneclaw???? Hes super smart Shit this is really hard? He could be in three???

no: the fuck i was thinking slytherin actually

fergie: ???

dancing queen: ???????

no: listen my dudes the hat takes what you want into consideration right? it does it for harry anyway

fergie: what does this have to do with marshmallow being a snake which is just not accurate

no: im getting there

dipshit: Are we going by stereotypes or nah

dancing queen: Nah The stereotypes suck

no: im just saying theres no fucking way if we were wizards teh agrestes wouldnt be pure bloods and gabriel would be classic fucking slytherin

dancing queen: Ok Ill agree with that

fergie: mhmmmm

dipshit: I wouldn’t say that

no: bro even if you arent going off stereotypes your old man is probably the mos t ambitious perosn ive ever met like scary mari is almost as scary

dancing queen: Hey!!!!!!

fergie: so sorting hat

no has changed their name to sorting hat.

sorting hat: sup

fergie: are u saying adrien would ASK 2 b slytherin

sorting hat: well yeah yeah i am

fergie: …………… i did not consider

sorting hat: i know you didnt

dancing queen: First of all since we cant decide and Im getting mixed answers from online quizzes

dancing queen has changed their name to lion snake.

lion snake: Second of all doesnt the hat also base it off of what you value the most??

dipshit: Lion snake? Like a chimera?

fergie: nerd

dipshit: Actually the chimera also has a goat ignore me

sorting hat: what the fuck

dipshit: Greek mythology

fergie: u kno what i dont wanna kno

dipshit: Anyway back to this

sorting hat: oh yeah anywa yeah the hat does but adrien wanting to please his dad might overrule that idk my dude jk didnt exactly lay ou t the rules of this super great

fergie: jk needs to c h i l l and ye each of the golden trio couldve ended up in at least one other house

dipshit: That would’ve been cool Also I don’t think I try to please my dad that much

fergie: oh sweetheart

sorting hat: dude

lion snake: Adrien you really really do

dipshit: Really?

fergie has changed their name to adriens legal guardian.

adriens legal guardian: someone needs to take care of you

dipshit: I promise I’m fine I’ve got Nathalie

sorting hat: does nathalie give you hugs

dipshit: No? Why is that relevant?

adriens legal guardian: SHE DOESNT COUNT THEN #HUGADRIENAGRESTE2K17

adriens legal guardian has changed their name to i love adrien.

i love adrien: turn on ur location agreste

dipshit: Please know that’s actually kind of creepy I’m at home you don’t have to worry about location

i love adrien: hella

sorting hat: alya chill out with the name chagnes also now im gonna be confuse d

i love adrien: i love him too but truuuuu

dipshit: ????

i love adrien: can i change it

sorting hat: last time for today??

i love adrien: ilysm

i love adrien has changed their name to cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub

dipshit: I have a fanclub? Wait that wasn’t the smartest thing to say

lion snake: Its a good thing youre cute

dipshit: I try to ignore them

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: have u ever been on the official insta of the fanclub bc its hilarious and beautiful

dipshit: …. Alya why

sorting hat: oh we totally googled you

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: mhm

lion snake: ^^^^

dipshit: That’s…..nice of you?

lion snake: Sorry if that makes you uncomfortable omg

dipshit: It’s just? Kinda weird?? I don’t mind and I probably should’ve expected it I just forget sometimes that that’s a thing people can/will do

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: adri if it makes u feel any better i google everyone ive googled everyone in this chat in our class their parents ymself random strangers if im able to

sorting hat: that is not surprising at all

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ur not special i mean u r ur v special to me and ilysm but not here everyone gets googled and twitter stalked also tell whoevers running ur official accounts to be less lame idc about salad u eat

dipshit: What????

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ur social media is B O R I N G i kno u dont run it but i still expected more memes

dipshit: Honestly I don’t look at it

sorting hat: its like the person we thought you were when we first met you except more boring

lion snake: Ok no thats not true Because I thought he was an asshole

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: oh shit tru

dipshit: Ahhhh yeah sorry about that

lion snake: Its fine I promise!!! Weve talked about this Its like Super perfect adn model-y and professional andnot at all a teenage loser who stayed up until 2 watching sailor moon and eating doritos

sorting hat: fucking relatable

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: weebs

sorting hat: yo youre the one who decided to date some

lion snake: Hey Ive never asked Adrien do you have unofficial personal social media???

dipshit: ……………………. Shhhhhh

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: WHAAAAAAAT LINKS LINK S LINKS LINSK

dipshit: I have a tumblr but that’s it

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: oh my go d this weekend we get 2gether adn make adrien all the social media and we revamp his tumblr bc ur theme sucks

dipshit: ???? You’ve never even seen it???

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i know it does marsh !!!!!!!! can u imagine if lb and cn had social media!!!!! id c r y

PM between dipshit and lion snake

dipshit: P l e a s e

lion snake: Oh my og d

dipshit: Please please please please please please please plEASE

lion snake: HOld on!!! Im discussing with tikki

dipshit: Plagg says he doesn’t care what we do

lion snake: Yeah we arent trusting him

dipshit: Fair enough WHAT IF I CAN GET SNAPCHAT ON MY BATON A LITERAL SNAPCHAT

lion snake: No Just because of that No

dipshit: Pleaaaaaseeeeeeeee My lady it’ll be great I swear

lion snake: U gh Well talk on it on patrol tonight k??

dipshit: YES!!!!

19:05 in hogwarts house discourse

sorting hat: i know weve moved on but man. fuck snape

20:12

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: do u think if i track down lb and cn and ask them for their hogwarts houses theyll tell me

sorting hat: worth a shot?

20:42

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: update: chat says ladybg is a gryffindor and lb says shes iether that or slytherin so like mari and they cant agree on cn

22:53

sorting hat: damn you adrien i cant stop thinking about this what is mari?? what is adrien??? what am i?? al youre either gryffindor or ravenclaw ive decided

lion snake: Youre the sorting hat shouldnt you know all???

sorting hat: bruh we need the actual sorting hat for this

lion snake: Fair enough

sorting hat: lets say adrien is a hatstall and move on

3:03

PM between dipshit and lion snake

dipshit: Rise and shine bugaboo Akuma at 3 o’clock Literally 3 o’clock the time not the like If you’re using 12, 3, 6, and 9 as directions It’s not You know what My tracker on my baton is turned on so use that to find me

3:08

dipshit: Mari Mari Alright plan b I’m gonna call you and if you don’t pick up I’m going to show up on your balcony Which sounds creepy but also this akuma is now stacking cars and I don’t really know what to do? They aren’t even trying to do anything else right now Am I missing something??? I’m confused

3:12

lion snake has changed their name to ahHHH

ahHHH: IM SO SORRY Tikki woke me up my phone was muted She says Waitw e dont hav etime for this Ive gotta transform so Ill talk to you when I get there??

dipshit: It’s fine just watching an akuma build a tower out of cars Remind me to show you how to sync Skype up to your yoyo

ahHHH: Youre on skype on your baton??

dipshit: Yeah it makes things easier

ahHHH: Huh Al and nino didnt wake up?

dipshit: I think the akumas too far away for them to hear, but also it’s not exactly being distructive When we actually start fighting people might start waking up but for now it’s being pretty quiet even with the car stacking

ahHHH: Well thats good they need their sleep Wait if the akuma was quiet how did you know??

dipshit: People started posting to the Ladyblog forums and I had that open in another tab

ahHHH: ???/ Why were you up????

dipshit: Bad night I couldn’t sleep so I put on Howl’s Moving Castle

ahHHH: Feeling any better?

dipshit: I’m sure I’ll feel better when I see you :3

ahHHH: Oh myg do Itst oo early for this Ill see you in fa few just stop that cat face

dipshit: ;3

#adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #nino lahiffe #alya cesaire #ml fanfic #my fics #wanna chat

163 notes · View notes

internetdetectives · 4 years

Text

11/10/19 - Chat with Erika

Erika_XP💚 2:14 AM: “Anyone online?”

Deadhead 2:40 AM: “no”

(...)

Erika_XP💚 5:59 PM: "Good morning everyone”

ToddThotBOT 5:59 PM: "Good morning.”

Erika_XP💚 6:00 PM: "Who is todd?”

ToddThotBOT 6:00 PM: ":toddpwease:”

otherLiam 6:00 PM: "todd howard”

ToddThotBOT 6:00 PM: ":toddlasers:”

otherLiam 6:00 PM: "the bethesda guy”

ToddThotBOT 6:00 PM: ":toddalien:”

Erika_XP💚 6:00 PM: "Are you some sort of beast sent by regiminis?”

otherLiam 6:00 PM: "he's a bot, don't worry about him”

otherLiam 6:00 PM: "he's just a joke”

Erika_XP💚 6:00 PM: "oh”

otherLiam 6:00 PM: "lmao”

Erika_XP💚 6:00 PM: "I feel silly now ^^”

Erika_XP💚 6:00 PM: "Tyler has not been on at all today =[“

otherLiam 6:01 PM: "he's usually not”

otherLiam 6:01 PM: "what with being part of a supernatural amalgamation and all”

Erika_XP💚 6:02 PM: "I miss him and I hope he will be ok tomorrow”

Densgivin 6:02 PM: "69”

ToddThotBOT 6:02 PM: "Nice.”

otherLiam 6:02 PM: "he's been part of a supernatural amalgamation for a few months now”

otherLiam 6:02 PM: "i doubt he'll be okay tomorrow”

otherLiam 6:02 PM: "but that's sorta the object of the game, is to keep him safe”

Densgivin 6:03 PM: "Also lol good morning here it is like 6 pm”

/Mr. Circle\ 6:07 PM: "Give me my goddamn color back my dad works at discord i will get you banned”

Densgivin 6:07 PM: "D:”

Xenquility 6:26 PM: "Now that Yugi is gone, I feel like someone has to say this”

Xenquility 6:26 PM: "0”

otherLiam 6:26 PM: "aaaa”

Xenquility 6:27 PM: "happy 11/11 spain”

ARGdov 6:27 PM: "rip”

otherLiam 6:27 PM: "(still 6 hours till it happens forreal)”

Xenquility 6:27 PM: "Wait Liam you're in est?”

otherLiam 6:27 PM: "no”

otherLiam 6:27 PM: "the game is tho”

ARGdov 6:27 PM: "9 over here in LA”

Xenquility 6:27 PM: "It is?”

ARGdov 6:27 PM: "and yeah”

ARGdov 6:27 PM: "oh wait”

ARGdov 6:27 PM: "Im not in LA anymore lol”

ARGdov 6:27 PM: "in California”

otherLiam 6:27 PM: "i am”

otherLiam 6:27 PM: "dov come get a beer”

Xenquility 6:28 PM: "Oh cool florida is est”

Xenquility 6:28 PM: "I totally knew that”

ARGdov 6:28 PM: "wait Liam your from LA?”

ARGdov 6:28 PM: "niiiice”

otherLiam 6:28 PM: "i live in santa monica yeah”

ARGdov 6:28 PM: "we should next time Im in town then for sure”

ARGdov 6:28 PM: "niiiice”

Xenquility 6:28 PM: "Imagine not having free health care”

otherLiam 6:28 PM: "yeet”

otherLiam 6:28 PM: "imagine not having free speech”

Xenquility 6:29 PM: "(I'm making a joke don't turn this political please)”

otherLiam 6:29 PM: "(also a joke)”

Xenquility 6:29 PM: "Excuse me but both of our governments are part of the five eyes alliance or whatever”

otherLiam 6:29 PM: "i’ll have you know that gets shot”

Xenquility 6:29 PM: "Wait wha- Random heart attack”

otherLiam 6:29 PM: "lowkey actually survived a school shooting so i get to make that joke”

Xenquility 6:30 PM: "Oh god”

ARGdov 6:30 PM: "jesus”

/Mr. Circle\ 6:38 PM: "I am actually a top secret whistleblower for the [commits suicide in prison]”

otherLiam 6:38 PM: "#circledidntkillhimself”

Xenquility 6:39 PM: "How the hell did you come up with the name circlehunter”

Erika_XP💚 6:39 PM: "I actually know about Tylers (steps into traffic)”

/Mr. Circle\ 6:39 PM: "Ripped off a book series”

Erika_XP💚 6:40 PM: "Im sorry did my bad joke just ruin the conversation flow ^^;”

Xenquility 6:40 PM: "It was actually so bad it went back in time and burned down the house of some random guy”

Xenquility 6:40 PM: "Whose name was possibly John”

Eevee Reborn 6:41 PM: "Yes it did. You murdered this entire conversation”

Eevee Reborn 6:41 PM: "/Him\ > Tyler”

/Mr. Circle\ 6:43 PM: "AM I A JOKE”

/Mr. Circle\ 6:43 PM: "GIVE ME THE COLOR, GOD”

Erika_XP💚 6:44 PM: "who is /him?”

Erika_XP💚 6:44 PM: "oh wait”

Erika_XP💚 6:44 PM: "you mean /Patrem?”

/Mr. Circle\ 6:44 PM: "/he\ is the one true father”

/Mr. Circle\ 6:44 PM: "that's right”

/Mr. Circle\ 6:44 PM: "it's /me\”

Erika_XP💚 6:44 PM: "oh my lord I am not allowed to type this demons true name completely”

Xenquility 6:44 PM: "/he\ is /papi\”

/Mr. Circle\ 6:45 PM: "You are all my children, and I love you equally”

Erika_XP💚 6:45 PM: "He is a purple fart cloud if ever I saw one”

Eevee Reborn 6:46 PM: "Ok, someone kick this chick”

/Mr. Circle\ 6:57 PM: "i'm not spookin anymore just to letyou know”

/Mr. Circle\ 6:57 PM: "but like”

/Mr. Circle\ 6:57 PM: "i can't get blinded by the light out of my head aaaaa”

ARGdov 7:24 PM: "Patrem is Daddy”

ARGdov 7:24 PM: "take me daddy”

ARGdov 7:24 PM: "make me your bitch and take over my body oWo”

otherLiam 11:53 PM: "on the left is greth, on the right is patrem”

Xenquility 12:01 AM: "Happy undecim nocte”

Xenquility 12:01 AM: "Seeya in the morning”

otherLiam 12:01 AM: "oh shit u rite”

otherLiam 12:01 AM: "time for shit to go down”

Wolfcat 12:02 AM: ":jack_o_lantern:”

otherLiam 12:02 AM: "No.”

otherLiam 12:02 AM: "Bad.”

Wolfcat 12:02 AM: ":jack_o_lantern: “

Wolfcat 12:02 AM: ":ass:”

otherLiam 12:02 AM: ":crikMad:”

Wolfcat 12:03 AM: ":confounded: “

Wolfcat 12:03 AM: ":ass:”

otherLiam 12:03 AM: ":octoYAM: "ERO:”

Erika_XP💚 12:03 AM: "I will not be able to sleep a bit for at least the next 24 hours”

otherLiam 12:04 AM: ":lytWIPED:”

Wolfcat 12:04 AM: ":hand: :dork: :hando:”

ADULT_LINK 12:04 AM: ":ass:”

ADULT_LINK 12:04 AM: ":turboass:”

otherLiam 12:05 AM: ":crikPls::crikNo::jack_o_lantern:”

Wolfcat 12:05 AM: "when your ass has an ass”

Wolfcat 12:05 AM: "i think ive seen some furry art like that actually”

Wolfcat 12:05 AM: "im not a furry tho”

otherLiam 12:05 AM: "wolf be like”

Wolfcat 12:05 AM: "damn rl shiki”

ADULT_LINK 12:05 AM: "where are those plsno emotes from?”

otherLiam 12:06 AM: "criken”

Xenquility 12:06 AM: "what's a criken”

otherLiam 12:06 AM: "a streamer/youtuber”

Wolfcat 12:06 AM: "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gckgKU7cQw”

ADULT_LINK 12:06 AM: "weird, i thought i was in crikens discord”

ADULT_LINK 12:06 AM: "wait”

ADULT_LINK 12:06 AM: "i am in his discord”

ADULT_LINK 12:06 AM: "what”

ADULT_LINK 12:06 AM: "where are his emotes”

otherLiam 12:07 AM: "https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=f-nXNfBTznE”

Wolfcat 12:07 AM: "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ryq8ffVFz0”

Erika_XP💚 12:07 AM: "Good luck today Tyler @IIIII :green_heart:”

otherLiam 12:08 AM: "twewy’s ost is so good”

Xenquility 12:14 AM: "@Wolfcat Did you change the channels name”

Wolfcat 12:15 AM: "yea”

Xenquility 12:15 AM: "K good”

Wolfcat 12:15 AM: "cause all the others have emojis”

otherLiam 12:15 AM: "Are we dead”

otherLiam 12:15 AM: "is this hell”

Xenquility 12:15 AM: "We're not dead”

Xenquility 12:15 AM: "We're still in the dreammmm”

Xenquility 12:15 AM: "Anyways gtg sleep”

Xenquility 12:15 AM: "Cya”

otherLiam 12:15 AM: "guys yugi got us”

Wolfcat 12:16 AM: "do you want to know the truth behind yugi's identity?”

otherLiam 12:16 AM: "How much do you know about runes?”

Wolfcat 12:16 AM: "spell his name backwards”

ADULT_LINK 12:17 AM: "iguy”

Wolfcat 12:18 AM: "he is a guy”

PAKO 2:05 AM: "wolfcat is here again”

otherLiam 2:05 AM: "we noticed”

PAKO 2:05 AM: "me not haha”

ADULT_LINK 2:26 AM: "its almost like he never even left”

Jos 2:38 AM: "Tbh”

Jos 2:38 AM: "The canibal part was the funniest”

otherLiam 3:07 AM: "dov’s reaction was priceless”

Erika_XP💚 3:37 AM: "Whoopsies I think I was posting in the wrong channel”

Erika_XP💚 3:37 AM: "@Mediom Loli Snek Hello there are you excited about 11/11 today? I can't wait to figure out how Tyler will get out of this one!”

Erika_XP💚 3:37 AM: "@ADULT_LINK how about you?”

Erika_XP💚 3:37 AM: "@Scrublord your name made me giggle and I can't believe it is basically 11/11 now and no one is talking about anything”

ADULT_LINK 3:47 AM: "yeah i'm interested in whats gonna happen”

ADULT_LINK 3:47 AM: "hopefully i dont sleep until 5 PM: " again tho”

ADULT_LINK 3:47 AM: "wait shit i have a lawyer i'm gonna be talking to so i cant really do that”

Erika_XP💚 3:50 AM: "A lawyer? Are things well in your life?”

ADULT_LINK 3:52 AM: "oh yeah you're new”

ADULT_LINK 3:52 AM: "on halloween my freinds and i got hit by a drunk driver”

Erika_XP💚 3:55 AM: "I know that is horrible I have known so many people who have died in auto accidents”

Erika_XP💚 3:55 AM: "Well from my heart I am happy to know you after the fact rather than just as a line of text on a wiki.”

Erika_XP💚 3:55 AM: "someone linked me the wiki earlier and I have been reading a little bit”

Erika_XP💚 3:55 AM: "I think I actually saw your name in it earlier”

ADULT_LINK 3:58 AM: "yeah , i've been around in the community for a long time”

Erika_XP💚 3:59 AM: "How long have you known Tyler?”

ADULT_LINK 4:01 AM: "i have a horrible memory, but i think around like. 2015? idk”

Erika_XP💚 4:01 AM: "I feel like I have known Tyler forever even though I just started watching him for abou”

Erika_XP💚 4:01 AM: "Oh wow”

Erika_XP💚 4:01 AM: "For a moment I was worried I was being challenged in my love for Mr.Silentdork however then I realized”

Erika_XP💚 4:01 AM: "Well never mind I wont say that, that would be silly >///>”

Erika_XP💚 4:01 AM: "I will say this I bet I have seen more silentdork videos than you”

Erika_XP💚 4:01 AM: "I have so many things prepared to alert me when something happens on his channel”

ADULT_LINK 4:05 AM: "...huh”

ADULT_LINK 4:05 AM: "kindof a bold thing to bet but yeah, i've missed quite a few videos so, maybe”

Erika_XP💚 4:07 AM: "Would you like to see a secret silent dork video I bet no one has ever seen?”

ADULT_LINK 4:07 AM: "sure”

Erika_XP💚 4:08 AM: "I dont often share these when I have them because I always assume he must be hiding them for a reason”

Erika_XP💚 4:08 AM: "Or that regiminis or one of his friends might have placed a curse of some kind on it for all I know”

Erika_XP💚 4:08 AM: "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8up-ngPKZw”

Erika_XP💚 4:08 AM: "Some people got to see this one but I bet you did not”

Erika_XP💚 4:08 AM: "It was pretty spooky ^^”

ADULT_LINK 4:10 AM: "oh yeah i remember that one”

ADULT_LINK 4:10 AM: "i liked a few of the comments on that, so i know i've seen it before”

Erika_XP💚 4:11 AM: "Alright I was just playing around on that one.”

Erika_XP💚 4:11 AM: "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9qHHiBTq0U”

Erika_XP💚 4:11 AM: "This one is a bit more secret I think based on the numbers”

Erika_XP💚 4:11 AM: "I bet you never saw this!”

ADULT_LINK 4:13 AM: "hmm”

ADULT_LINK 4:13 AM: "not sure if i remember this one, but i know at the very least the group has seen it, theres a translation of the ciphers by our youtube channel in the comments”

Erika_XP💚 4:16 AM: "I know I must have something you all do not”

Erika_XP💚 4:16 AM: "I thought I was just some weird girl who really likes Tyler

but I guess I should have expected there to be people out there who know what the important things are in life”

Erika_XP💚 4:16 AM: "Alright I feel weird about sharing this one because it kind of spooks me a bit”

Erika_XP💚 4:16 AM: "but I just want to make sure its as secret as I kind of thought it was”

Erika_XP💚 4:16 AM: "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAZW2Co15Bk”

ADULT_LINK 4:21 AM: "oh my god is that one of the old roblox videos”

ADULT_LINK 4:21 AM: "haha nice i almost forgot about those”

Erika_XP💚 4:21 AM: "Roblox?”

ADULT_LINK 4:21 AM: "yeah, the thing in the video is a roblox map with a lot of filters on it”

Erika_XP💚 4:23 AM: "Oh I just was not sure what roblox was at first”

Erika_XP💚 4:23 AM: "Please see through this. He always does this kind of thing to throw everyone off. It happened once before back in april 2012. There is always Methods to the madness. This is one of the only times I think I of the 3 will be able to speak without my symbols the way I had to set them up. Please stay alert.”

Erika_XP💚 4:23 AM: "He said this to someone in a comment”

Erika_XP💚 4:23 AM: "But I cant be sure what it means or if it is him for real”

ADULT_LINK 4:26 AM: "huh.”

ADULT_LINK 4:26 AM: "i wonder if some of those old videos have any relevance to the ||||| stuff”

ADULT_LINK 4:26 AM: "wait that was from a few months ago”

ADULT_LINK 4:26 AM: "god july feels like ages ago, i dont remember what was going on in the arg back then at al lmao”

Erika_XP💚 4:33 AM: "Oh darn I was going to get one he had unlisted from a really really long time ago but now its set to private. I am sure I have it downloaded somewhere but Im out on my laptop right now.”

Erika_XP💚 4:33 AM: "oooo”

Erika_XP💚 4:33 AM: "I have one thing I could share”

Erika_XP💚 4:33 AM: ">.>”

Erika_XP💚 4:33 AM: "<.<”

Erika_XP💚 4:33 AM: "but this is special to me”

ADULT_LINK 4:36 AM: "i've got a few unlisted vids bookmarked from when ooc tyler was really into monika from ddlc”

Erika_XP💚 4:37 AM: "If I show this video I will have to delete it afterwards because I want to keep it kind of secret and special in my heart for a little while longer”

ADULT_LINK 4:38 AM: "ooh?”

Erika_XP💚 4:38 AM: "ok I am nervous”

Erika_XP💚 4:38 AM: "But also sad because he turned the chat off so you cant see what was said”

Erika_XP💚 4:38 AM: "But also relieved because I think I would die if anyone saw what I said”

Erika_XP💚 4:38 AM: "Ok Ill post it for a moment”

ADULT_LINK 4:41 AM: "oh dude i remember that fuckin stream”

ADULT_LINK 4:41 AM: "i complimented his shirt”

ADULT_LINK 4:41 AM: "or, at the very least one of the other streams from that day”

ADULT_LINK 4:41 AM: "i think there were a few tests?”

Erika_XP💚 4:42 AM: "I jumped in and I think he was testing out how to make it work and then I THINK HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN TALKING TO ME WHEN I CAME IN AND STARTED TALKING IN THE CHAT”

Erika_XP💚 4:42 AM: "AAASASDFDASFASDFA”

ADULT_LINK 4:43 AM: "nice :thumb:”

Erika_XP💚 4:44 AM: "I love his voice so much I bet when he sings in private it sounds gorgeous.”

Erika_XP💚 4:44 AM: "Or atleast I imagine he sings in private”

Scrublord 6:03 AM: "I know this is late but”

Scrublord 6:03 AM: "https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/317446131586170880/508079274398449666/68747470733a2f2f63646e2e646973636f72646170702e636f6d2f6174746163686d656e74732f3331373434363133313538.gif

Erika_XP💚 6:21 AM: "@Scrublord hello there it was just me saying your name gave me a little giggle”

Scrublord 6:21 AM: "Ok lol”

Erika_XP💚 6:22 AM: "Are you a big fan of silentdork?”

Erika_XP💚 6:22 AM: "More importantly @Scrublord have you ever spoken to tyler before? I think I kind of did once, not counting yesterday when I think he might have been possesed or something.”

Scrublord 6:24 AM: "Well kind of yea”

ADULT_LINK 6:25 AM: "the original title of this video from when i bookmarked it is "Sick ass remix for that nigga scrub"

ADULT_LINK 6:25 AM: "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAZl4NAcDNg”

ADULT_LINK 6:25 AM: "so”

ADULT_LINK 6:25 AM: "lmao”

Scrublord 6:26 AM: "XD”

Erika_XP💚 6:26 AM: "Oh wow Tyler is friends with you?!”

Scrublord 6:26 AM: "Well yes”

Erika_XP💚 6:26 AM: "You are basically famous in my eyes”

Scrublord 6:27 AM: "Epic lol”

Scrublord 6:27 AM: "OMG THAT VID”

Scrublord 6:27 AM: "XD”

Scrublord 6:27 AM: "I just remembered XD”

Scrublord 6:27 AM: "Wait did he made it lore lol?”

ADULT_LINK 6:27 AM: "honestly this is still my fav pic of tyler”

ADULT_LINK 6:27 AM: "nah i dont think that video is canon at all, i just bookmarked it cuz i figured it'd be funny in the far future”

ADULT_LINK 6:27 AM: "guess i was sorta right?”

Erika_XP💚 6:29 AM: "He is such a cutie >//>;”

Scrublord 6:29 AM: "It definitely is lmao”

Scrublord 6:29 AM: "Anyways you seemed like a huge fan @Erika_XP💚 “

Scrublord 6:29 AM: "Idk if you already saw it but here's a JID related thing I made 2 years ago”

Scrublord 6:29 AM: "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9AHUEbigHM”

Erika_XP💚 6:33 AM: "@Scrublord I just laughed so hard I think I woke people up”

Scrublord 6:34 AM: "lmao”

Erika_XP💚 6:40 AM: "Sorry if I am bothering you a lot but what was the last thing Tyler said to you @Scrublord ? Was he Angry like he was here yesterday?”

Erika_XP💚 6:40 AM: "I am trying to decide if he is possesed or something”

Scrublord 6:41 AM: "I haven't talked to him for a while now”

Scrublord 6:41 AM: "But I think he is”

Scrublord 6:41 AM: "Usually he's chill af”

Erika_XP💚 6:41 AM: "How was he last time he spoke to you?”

Scrublord 6:41 AM: "Well this is the last thing he said”

Scrublord 6:41 AM: "Oh shit i---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------”

Erika_XP💚 6:42 AM: "wat”

Scrublord 6:42 AM: "He was about to tell me a secret code to rekt Kevin or some shit”

Erika_XP💚 6:42 AM: "WAIT WHAT!?”

Erika_XP💚 6:42 AM: "I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HE SAID WORD FOR WORD”

Scrublord 6:43 AM: "But then he's just gone”

Scrublord 6:43 AM: "This is a few months ago but here's what he said”

Scrublord 6:43 AM: "in telling you this you have learned something that will truly be one of the final puzzles to all of this”

Scrublord 6:43 AM: "I used to straight up log in and tell these people I loved them on a semi daily basis”

Scrublord 6:43 AM: "this bond and the ones that extend across all of the spans of hubris and without it”

Scrublord 6:43 AM: "will call the magic that can break this curse”

Scrublord 6:43 AM: "that much I know”

Scrublord 6:43 AM: "We are nearing the end of a decade”

Scrublord 6:43 AM: "a decade plagued by a darkness we have had a great joy in fighting

Scrublord 6:43 AM: "it will come to an end and we will enjoy again a golden time”

Scrublord 6:43 AM: "this secret I have told you”

Scrublord 6:43 AM: "carry it with you my compatriot, I feel you will know in your heart when is the right time to reveal it to them if you follow this journey”

Scrublord 6:43 AM: "should you so desire”

Scrublord 6:43 AM: "most importantly of all”

Scrublord 6:43 AM: "nigga I am about to tell yo ass the secret code to fucking reck kevins shit because no one figured it out”

Scrublord 6:43 AM: "all these fucking years”

Scrublord 6:43 AM: "and oh my fucking god I am still dying that no one ever came close to stumbling onto this after like 6 fucking years”

Scrublord 6:43 AM: "Oh shit i---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------”

Erika_XP💚 6:45 AM: "ARE YOU ACTUALLY SERIOUS RIGHT NOW!?”

Scrublord 6:45 AM: "Yes”

Scrublord 6:45 AM: "But I haven't heard from him since”

Erika_XP💚 6:46 AM: "@everyone”

Erika_XP💚 6:46 AM: "wait oh god”

Erika_XP💚 6:46 AM: "OH NO I DID NOT MEAN TO DO THAT”

Erika_XP💚 6:46 AM: "I AM SO SORRY”

Scrublord 6:46 AM: "But this was ages ago”

Erika_XP💚 6:46 AM: "OH GOD OH GOD”

Erika_XP💚 6:46 AM: "OH GOD”

Scrublord 6:46 AM: "The message was from 08/09/2019”

Erika_XP💚 6:47 AM: "IM SORRY FOR DOING THAT EVERYONE PING I WAS JUST REALLY EXCITED”

Erika_XP💚 6:47 AM: "Oh”

Erika_XP💚 6:47 AM: "I dont know why I was expecting a rush of anger to come forth”

Scrublord 6:48 AM: "Well idk what I just said and idk if Lunar Children or Kevin or some shit might come after me now”

Scrublord 6:48 AM: "Imma go load my Glock and go exercise now”

Erika_XP💚 6:49 AM: "You sound like such a adventerous lad”

Erika_XP💚 6:49 AM: "Surely no match for my Tyler though. I doubt you battle cults, but you must be a very cool person for him to consider you a friend and tell you something that amazing.”

Erika_XP💚 6:49 AM: "I just realized I think the @ everyone feature just does not work”

Erika_XP💚 6:49 AM: "I feel like people should know this”

ADULT_LINK 6:52 AM: "the ping didnt actually go thru, not everyone has @everyone perms”

ADULT_LINK 6:52 AM: "oh wait you just realised that”

ADULT_LINK 6:52 AM: "shit i'm slow”

Scrublord 6:53 AM: "Im normally just a shitposter but I joined the ID because I was working on a case of my own about my sister”

Erika_XP💚 6:53 AM: "by this I do not mean @everyone I mean the thing scrub just told me Tyler said”

Erika_XP💚 6:53 AM: "Oh no what happened to your sister”

Erika_XP💚 6:53 AM: "is she faring well?”

Scrublord 6:54 AM: "She just posted some weird codes on Twitter and I asked the ID to help me crack the code”

Scrublord 6:54 AM: "Don't worry it isn't related to JID”

Erika_XP💚 7:04 AM: "Well I'll still worry for you because I assume tyler must care about you too”

Erika_XP💚 7:04 AM: "@Upd8”

Erika_XP💚 7:04 AM: "through process of elimination I think I worked out a logic in my head that explains this must be what is here in place of @everyone”

Erika_XP💚 7:04 AM: "this scrublord man is very important and Tyler was trying to tell him how to beat Kevin who I always had a feeling was really regiminis”

Scrublord 7:11 AM: "Well he really do, and vice versa for me”

Erika_XP💚 7:20 AM: "@Scrublord I have to get to bed its getting kind of late. But I am glad I got to speak to you and learn what I did.”

Erika_XP💚 7:20 AM: "I hope I get to talk to you again soon”

Erika_XP💚 7:20 AM: "doctor: you have 2 seconds to live”

Erika_XP💚 7:20 AM: "Me:”

Erika_XP💚 7:20 AM: "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkYAdJHN5X4&feature=youtu.be”

Erika_XP💚 7:20 AM: "plays this video twice”

Erika_XP💚 7:20 AM: "sorry I just wanted to be goofy for a moment”

Xenquility 8:27 AM: "Why the hell was upd8 @'d””

Densgivin 8:27 AM: "Lol”

Densgivin 8:27 AM: "Also mornin pals”

Densgivin 8:27 AM: "How r u xen”

Xenquility 8:27 AM: "Top o the mornin to ya”

Xenquility 8:27 AM: "Not bad. You?”

Densgivin 8:27 AM: "Fine”

Densgivin 8:27 AM: "I just had breakfast and goin back to sleep”

Xenquility 8:28 AM: "lmao”

Erika_XP💚 8:42 AM: "@Xenquility I am unable to sleep and I will tell you it was because I had a powerful revalation regarding Tylers situation”

Erika_XP💚 8:42 AM: "@Scrublord can tell you more”

Xenquility 8:43 AM: "What uh... "Revelation" did you have?”

Erika_XP💚 8:43 AM: "in telling you this you have learned something that will truly be one of the final puzzles to all of this”

Erika_XP💚 8:43 AM: "I used to straight up log in and tell these people I loved them on a semi daily basis”

Erika_XP💚 8:43 AM: "this bond and the ones that extend across all of the spans of hubris and without it”

Erika_XP💚 8:43 AM: "will call the magic that can break this curse”

Erika_XP💚 8:43 AM: "that much I know”

Erika_XP💚 8:43 AM: "We are nearing the end of a decade”

Erika_XP💚 8:43 AM: "a decade plagued by a darkness we have had a great joy in fighting”

Erika_XP💚 8:43 AM: "it will come to an end and we will enjoy again a golden time”

Erika_XP💚 8:43 AM: "this secret I have told you”

Erika_XP💚 8:43 AM: "carry it with you my compatriot, I feel you will know in your heart when is the right time to reveal it to them if you follow this journey”

Erika_XP💚 8:43 AM: "should you so desire”

Erika_XP💚 8:43 AM: "most importantly of all”

Erika_XP💚 8:43 AM: "nigga I am about to tell yo ass the secret code to fucking reck kevins shit because no one figured it out”

Erika_XP💚 8:43 AM: "all these fucking years”

Erika_XP💚 8:43 AM: "and oh my fucking god I am still dying that no one ever came close to stumbling onto this after like 6 fucking years”

Erika_XP💚 8:43 AM: "Oh shit i---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------”

Erika_XP💚 8:43 AM: "I am to be made to understand Tyler said this”

Xenquility 8:44 AM: "Yeah that happened months back”

Xenquility 8:44 AM: "iirc”

Densgivin 8:44 AM: "nig”

Erika_XP💚 8:45 AM: "Yes thats what he said but This is news to me”

(...)

Erika_XP💚: "Ew”

ARGdov: "shit are we talking about illustrations of people we wanna fuck”

Wolfcat: ""people"”

Wolfcat: "but yes”

/Mr. Circle\: "haha wolf wants to fuck something that isn't a person”

steve solothies: "Hello”

steve solothies: "my fall over”

Wolfcat: "not you steve”

Wolfcat: "what fell over”

steve solothies: "myself”

Wolfcat: "oh damn”

Xenquility: "Why'd he leave lmao”

Wolfcat: "he fucking died“

Xenquility: "Sucks to be him”

Erika_XP💚: "What an odd lad”

Xenquility: "Excuse me he identifies as a woman”

Wolfcat: "ok now you are LITERALLY assuming his gender”

Wolfcat: "shit i did too”

DensO Burton: "Hey”

Erika_XP💚: "https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/453310624076922899/643286223200452618/oh_no.JPG”

Wolfcat: "is that u”

Xenquility: "Excuse mr”

Xenquility: "I LATERALLY assumed it”

DensO Burton: "Lol”

Xenquility: "Not literally”

Erika_XP💚: "lol no I just wanted to post this face I found because I thought it was silly”

Wolfcat: ">mr”

yoshi: "wat”

Wolfcat: "at it again”

Xenquility: "*me”

Erika_XP💚: "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U31mUOYTL3U”

Erika_XP💚: "https://youtu.be/U31mUOYTL3U?t=158”

DensO Burton: "Oh god no”

Erika_XP💚: "right here actually”

Wolfcat: "god i used to make this same exact shit as a kid”

Wolfcat: "literally just making faces in front of the camera”

Erika_XP💚: "I found this serching for silent dork lol”

DensO Burton: "That's literally a SILENT doRK”

Wolfcat: "cool”

DensO Burton: "Oh god”

yoshi: ":HyperParty:”

Erika_XP💚: "Hello there yoshi”

DensO Burton: "SPIT OUT THE BONE”

DensO Burton: "headbangs”

Erika_XP💚: "I bet no one in here is as big a fan of silentdork as me”

Deadhead: "Sure lol”

Erika_XP💚: "Is that a challenge?”

0 notes