#yes this post is about li lianhua

[nutcasewithaknife]

Shoutout to the blorbos who are absolutely infuriating. The ones who keep making you want to shake them by their shoulders. The ones who repress and self-sabotage so hard they doom themselves. The ones who think they're saving everyone but doom them in a whole other way instead.

[where-the-water-flows]

hey no wait. hang on, wait. wenjing is like, explicitly the secret sword, right, the one basically no one knew about, it's part of the reason the court is like 'mmk seems legit' when fang doubing is like ~I am totally for real his disciple~ because he knows about the sword at all

but li xiangyi/lianhua is clearly like. practiced at using the sword, which does not move like basically...any other weapon. that man has spent a fuck lot of time training to and straight up developing how to use a sword that is basically the most unswordlike sword to ever sword. that sword is like a slap bracelet with bladed edges that can also cut through....anything? nearly anything?? it does not move or react like your standard mostly rigid bar of folded metal sword, is the gist here.

which brings me to two, semi-related, points:

when saintess rocks up to steal di feisheng from the zombie cave and also is like 'I'm going to kill you uh actually lol nope fuck that I'm outtie peace bitches', is that literally the first time she's even got a hint that li xiangyi/lianhua has a sword that is basically nigh impossible to block because it can straight up bend around obstacles? (obstacles such as, say, anyone else's sword) if yes, no fucking wonder she's like mmmm I see no thank you I need to go wash my di feisheng's hair, so busy, catch you later because like. how the fuck do you even deal with that. a guy who should have been horribly and messily dead literally a decade ago rocks up and is like 'I lived bitch! also surprise, I have a sword made of glowing Go-Fuck-Yourself metal', like, I too would fucking split! you would only be able to find me by the cartoon dust cloud left in my wake. RIP to everyone else in the jianghu but saintess is making the objectively correct choice here, which is wild because, like. saintess.

how many people's last fucking moment was seeing throat cutter, probably glowing and covered in their blood? because like. Li xiangyi clearly used it! enough to be good at using it. enough to know that it glows blue when there's blood on it, even if he apparently was just like sometimes swords just glow for reasons I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. so. if no one outside of sigu sect high command knows that wenjing exists*, that means everyone else who ever saw that sword -- which there has to have been people, given that li xiangyi was out there uhhh using it -- those people who saw it presumably also uh. died. in a pretty confirmed kinda way. likely via....that sword. throat cutter** indeed

*and not even all of the inner sigu sect command folks knew about li xiangyi having it! they're pretty explicit that five people total know about the sword, which is the four court heads, and then presumably either qiao wanmian or xiao zijin, but not both of them (which, lmao, what the hell were sigu sect internal politics for real), and even that's if we assume shan gudao is not being included in the count because he's "dead"

**yes I know it's a reference to a friendship/relationship you'd cut your throat for per @murderedbyhomework's recent great meta, but also, like. it's still a cut throat, y'know? words can have multiple meanings, and also this is mostly a pun on the name. the rest of the post stands as is tho.

[kingsandbastardz]

MLC's prop department has been having fun

Tinfoil hat time. I've been tracking the movement of Li Lianhua's pillows at the Lotus Tower (yes I know, crazy)

Anyway, here are my findings that I think will be interesting to know:

(Episode 1) We are given 1 shot of a pillow. It's rust colored with a white center - he uses it in his own bed.

(Episode 8) We now see 2 pillows. One white one on the bed (llh's) and a grey-bluish colored one on the side dresser. Being that Fang Duobing has been staying there, I have assigned this color to him.

(Episode 13) We still see the grey-blue pillow that I assume is FDB's. He was using the white one here because LLH's put him in his own bed after he was injected with gangchi

(Episode 19) This looks similar to the grey-blue pillow, but I've dubbed it blue-grey because it's more blue and it's darker. Which means this is not FDB's bedding, but who is it for?

(Episode 20, images A and B) Ah here we go. It's Di Feisheng's. In the second image, you can see that he is a messy blanket folder.

(Episode 27) Post A-Fei getting taken away, and post-fdb breakup, LLH passes out and wakes up several days later. Su Xiaoyong has found him and has apparently been nursing him. I assume she helped herself to his prettiest pillowcase while she made herself at home. At first I thoguht she gave him his own white pillowcase, but on closer inspection, it looks grey. So I can't tell if it's a lighting/color-filter situation or if Su Xiaoyong actually grabbed fdb's pillow when dragging LLH to bed.

(Episode 28) The upstairs room - This is while they're traveling to the city and Su Xiaoyong is still with him. As she's a young unmarried woman, I assume for propriety's sake, he moved himself temporarily to the upstairs bedroom while he's still feeling ok, so you see his white pillow, fdb's grey-blue, and dfs' blue-grey. Yes, they look like the same shade under different lighting - but they're actually under the same strength shadow. So one is a full shade darker than the other.

(thanks @difeisheng I completely missed this one)

(Episode 40) No spare bedding on the side counter. FDB was sleeping in the chair against the table. LLH has been alone.

Conclusion:

LLH color codes his pillows for people who stay over

So in the previous episode 19 DFS had told LLH that he would come find him later. Apparently, that was enough for LLH to get out some extra bedding. Just in case. And then DFS shows up with amnesia immediately in the next episode.

Clearing out his loose bits and bobs wasn't just about people or situations, but included packing away all the extra bedding

FDB and DFS (With and without amnesia) totally shared the upstairs bed without murdering each other at night. Somehow. despite the bed being tight enough they would probably end up cuddling at some point. And then never spoke about it during the day. LMAO.

[bbcphile]

Thoughts on character and costume?

I really love how the respective characters have different colour palettes, silhouettes but in particular material/textures to their costuming. Fang Duobing is a little princess so he gets pale pastels, fancy ornamentation and transparent gauzy fabrics which I find so cute, he’s not just rich he’s *expensive* and *pretty* it’s pretty funny that he matches the actual princess in the red leaves mountain case

DFS gets your wide shoulder bad guy rich deep colours with thick layers and lots of metal detailing but it veers towards grand instead of pretty. Hot topic young DFS is leather and studs lmao. Brocade and fur & shit.

LLH is a linen boi and he almost never has any metal on him, we all know his natural material hair ornament meta etc. Interestingly, he does share some colour palette and fabric overlap with FDB, we se him with his tits out transparent outer layer sometimes. No structure all flowy silhouette

someone on here made a post abt their differing sleeve styles but I can’t find it!

I wanted to gush but also do u have any extra costume thoughts + how they relate to one another? You have a great knack for finding good photos of the show too 😅

Thanks for the ask, @lei-llustrations , and I love your analysis of the outfits! I'm so sorry it took me forever to respond! I had grand plans for a full essay analyzing DFS's costumes, and then I ran out of spoons for doing that. (The short version of the point I was going to prove is that his a-Fei outfits have elements of what seem to be his favorite details from his fancier alliance leader outfits, so it seemed like evidence of LLH trying to make up for making him be in disguise and without his power. I'm thinking of the maroon-red one with studs in the sleeves in particular, but there are echoes of his preferences in the other ones, too.)

Since I'll never actually respond if I wait to put that meta together, here's a shorter one, with my thoughts on DFS's official Alliance Leader robes (screenshot taken from ep 40, when delivering the wangchuan flower).

LLH and FDB both call him Di mengzhu in the wangchuan flower scene, because he's clearly dressed in a way that makes this an Official Visit. I find it fascinating that he wears his alliance leader outfit instead of his grey, maroon, and gold outfit that he wears for non-alliance matters (aka. the wedding room outfit, which he also wears for such Xiangyi-related purposes as the reunion duel that doesn't happen and grieving for him in the middle of the night). After all, he's giving LLH a gift to save his life and issuing him a friendly anniversary honeymoon challenge, so you'd think that would call for his dating outfit, not his official garb.

BUT! What if he's using his official Alliance Leader regalia as a way of saying that not only a-Fei/Lao Di, but also Di Mengzhu and the Jinyuan Alliance want him to live? It's more than just essentially creating Peace Treaty version 2.0, and trying to get life back to what could have been if SGD and JLQ hadn't ruined everything: their people at peace, and the two of them meeting for friendly duels rather than death matches. Yes, only LLH and FDB are there to witness it, but by showing up in his Official Capacity, he's also correcting all the narratives about the enmity between himself and Li Xiangyi, and in giving him the flower, he's officially declaring that Di Mengzhu wants Li Lianhua to heal and have his strength and power back more than he wants to gain martial arts power himself.

This is a HUGE deal. DFS formed the Jinyuan Alliance as a way of climbing the ranks of the jianghu, because his goal was to gain strength so he'd never be helpless or forced to do someone's bidding again. And yet, he wears the outfit that symbolizes that striving and his place at the top of it to GIVE AWAY THE FLOWER THAT WOULD CEMENT HIS PLACE AT THE TOP OF THE JIANGHU. He wants Li Lianhua to not just live but also to regain the strength SGD and JLQ stole from him, which would mean that Li Xiangyi would quite possibly defeat him, and he would welcome that, because it's not about self-protection anymore: now, what he wants more than anything else, is for Li Xiangyi/Lianhua to live.

If that's not enough of an emotional gut punch, try this: Di Feisheng told Li Xiangyi at the start of the show that swordsmen shouldn't have weaknesses. Di Feisheng has only really had two "weaknesses" (vulnerabilities might be more accurate): his desiring the wangchuan flower (which led to SGD and JLQ incapacitating him) and Li Lianhua. It feels like a monumental shift to me that, at the end of the show, Di Feisheng hands one weakness to the man who is the other: essentially, he is announcing to the world that nothing is more important to him than Li Lianhua's recovery, and he doesn't care who knows it.

It also feels very pertinent that his official outfit is wedding red, and he's essentially showing up in his fanciest remaining outfit to offer Li Lianhua his heart on a platter priceless magical flower in a box the way someone might show up at the house of their beloved with boxes and boxes of betrothal gifts. Not that DFS explained that or LLH picked up on it, because that would involve better communication skills than either of them had.

[eirenical]

WiP Wednesday

I made it by an hour! A nod to @bbcphile who helped me figure out which scene to post and for always being super supportive. ^_^

This bit takes place after Li Lianhua has had a bad Bicha flare-up. He wakes up in Di Feisheng's arms and instincts overrides common sense for a little while before Di Feisheng puts a stop to the proceedings. This little tete-a-tete happens as part of a much longer discussion after that disaster.

[Other snippets posted, not necessarily in order.]

*

Silence returned, slipping between the cracks in the Lotus Tower's walls and stealing Li Lianhua's breath along with his will to fight one more fight.

"…I'm sorry."

Li Lianhua looked up, finally meeting Di Feisheng's gaze across the disheveled covers.  Flatly, he said, "…you're sorry."

Di Feisheng sat back, all of his limbs properly in their own space again, a wince dancing about his features as his hands found each other in his lap, an uncharacteristic burst of fidgeting capturing Li Lianhua's attention as completely as his words did a moment later.

"I shouldn't have—"

Li Lianhua overrode him, a bite in his words joining the flush in his cheeks.  "You shouldn't have what, Di-mengzhu?"

Abruptly, Di Feisheng was still once more, his undivided attention narrowing in on Li Lianhua's words.  "I thought we were past that."

Li Lianhua crossed his arms over his chest, turning to look out the window.  There was frost on the ground.  He'd have to get the rest of the harvest in and prepare to leave, to seek out warmer climates that wouldn't tempt the Bicha out of hiding so easily.

If Di-mengzhu would let him.

A soft growl laced through Di Feisheng's next words.  "Li Xiangyi…"

A snort.  "It seems neither of us is past that, then."

Li Lianhua could tell the exact moment when Di Feisheng considered reaching for him with injuring intent… and decided against it.  Li Lianhua can't handle rough treatment, after all.  Li Lianhua can't handle the simplest of chores on his own without help.  Li Lianhua can't do any of the things Li Xiangyi could do with such ease.  Li Xiangyi was an object of worship of admiration of desire and Li Lianhua was only to be pitied.  Li Lianhua couldn't bear that look one moment longer and turned away.  Quietly he said, "I'm going to ask you one last time, Di-mengzhu.  What do you want of me?"

"I've told you that already."

"To stay by my side."

"Yes."

"Just that and nothing more."

"Yes."

"That will be enough for you, will it?"

"Yes."

Li Lianhua shivered at the finality in that tone, arms raising to wrap around his own torso as he shook—from the cold or from something else, he could no longer say.  "What if that isn't enough for me?"

Li Lianhua startled at a sudden movement beside him, only settling when the fallen blanket was draped over his shoulders once more.  He pulled it tight, crossing the fabric over itself at his neck and tucking the ends underneath the blanket on his lap.  It helped, but not nearly as much as the furnace of Di Feisheng's body under the covers with him had.

Di Feisheng met his gaze and held it.  Like a moth to a flame, Li Lianhua couldn't look away.  "Then what, Li Lianhua, do you want of me?"

For a moment, their gazes locked, frozen in place as each held their breath.  The easy lie was right there, sitting on the tip of his tongue, ready to lash forth like a whip against this fragile moment.  Safe.  Protective.  Li Lianhua could cut his losses and run.  Right now.  He just had to say the words.

He couldn't say the words.

Instead, Li Lianhua gave in to the shivering, small thing in his chest that just wanted to feel warm, even if only for a moment, to the sheer unadulterated need that had fluttered through his stomach more times than he could count since Di Feisheng had walked back into his life.  And he said those words instead.

"I want you to want me the same way you wanted him."

"Him?"

"Li Xiangyi." 

[kseniyagreen]

To avoid making this long post even longer, I'll just quote the end and continue:

@kingsandbastardz "He's just not translating it very well and I wonder if, in the end, llh ever fully gets the message?"

Yes, this question has been bothering me since I finished watching the drama.

I think Li Lianhua fully realized Di Feisheng's love for Li Xiangyi, not just for fighting, at least after the scene in the wedding chambers - this one looks like Li Lianhua understands and accepts Di Feisheng's feelings. But.. Big but...

It seems to me that until the very end, he was inclined to believe that Di Feisheng loved Li Xiangyi and wanted to bring Li Xiangyi back. And if Li Lianghua doesn’t want to be Li Xiagnyi anymore, then he can’t be with Di Feisheng.

Therefore, his farewell to Li Xiangyi’s sword was also his farewell to Di.

What he doesn't fully understand is that for Di Feisheng, there is no dilemma for Li Xiangyi or Li Lianhua at all. For him there is only a living spirit, which he sees in him now as well as ten years ago.

And Di Feisheng tried to express this in words about the sword, that the owner of the sword is alive as long as his sword is alive.

But did Li Lianhua understand the symbolism of these words correctly? Or again he fell into the trap of an internal traumatic delusion that if he does not want to be Li Xianyi, he cannot have anything that Li Xiangyi had.

And the saddest part of this misunderstanding is that I think Di Feisheng in the finale makes the same mistake he made ten years ago, which is, in general, an inevitable mistake for him.

He relies entirely on fighting as a way to establish contact.

Ten years ago, during the Battle of the Eastern Sea, he also saw that Li Xiangyi was confused - but put off the conversation until after the battle. Because fighting is the most reliable and complete way for Di Feisheng to communicate, convey his feelings and perceive the feelings of others.

But then a lot of things happened, and instead of understanding, they both almost killed each other.

And I think in the finale he makes the same mistake - he expects to make things clear about their relationship through a fight. And, as is generally typical of autistic people, he relies too much on the agreement between them. That Li Lianhua will fulfill his promise and come, no matter what is going on in his head.

[mx-myth]

Post-canon difang amnesia au where someone decides that di feisheng needs to die once and for all. They don't exactly succeed but once again dfs loses his memory. When he wakes up on the bank of a river all he has is three words written on his palm: find fang duobing.

He picks himself up and finds that when he asks around everyone is all too happy to tell him about fdb. Oh yes! That gongzi, they tell him, he's a hero! He's going to kill the number one villain in the jianghu!

Dfs doesn't know it yet but whoever made that attempt on his life threw fdb under the bus. It's meant to be another donghai-sized misunderstanding except that he's lost his memories.

He continues onward and eventually finds himself at Tianji Manor. The servant who lets him in is wide-eyed but when he asks for fdb their face turns downright scared. He's timidly informed that their shaoye is out right now.

That's fine, dfs says. He plops down right there to wait.

Master He, who has perhaps not seen her son since li lianhua was supposed to be at the beach, is told of this situation. She's heard the rumors that her son is looking to kill dfs and, half-believing this, storms out to give him a piece of her mind.

Dfs is wildly confused about why this woman is yelling at him. He's vaguely scared of her but it's not because he finds her intimidating. He doesn't know why.

Luckily this is the moment that fdb arrives home. He's tired and exhausted and forcing himself to take a break from his search for llh. "Niang!" He calls.

And then he stops. Dfs stares at him around his mother. "Lao-Di?" He says. His voice is wavering and cracks in the middle.

He stands and stumbles towards him. They meet in the middle of the yard and fdb looks like he wants to hug him but he thrusts his palm out at him before he can. "Fang Duobing?"

Fdb stares at it before taking it and cradling his hand in his own. His eyes are as huge as the moon when he looks at him. "A-Fei?"

Dfs may not know the difference but he can feel it. Whoever he was before was this boy's Lao-Di but right now he's his A-Fei. The name knocks a single memory loose - knowing nothing, like he does now, and a warm and familiar voice calling him A-Fei. He looks at him and clutches at his hands. "Who am I?"

So on top of the search for llh fdb and a-fei have to hunt down whoever tried to kill dfs. Fdb knows how to exist with dfs; without the barrier of llh, he's lost on what to do with a-fei. But they relearn how to work together, how to coexist, and step by step a-fei regains his memories.

[zishuge]

Today I gave myself feels thinking about Fang Duobing, Di Feisheng, and Hulijing moving on and aging in a world without Li Lianhua. A world where Li Lianhua isn't there — but then again, he is there, in Lianhualou, and in the townspeople who flock to it, bearing gifts for the miracle doctor who once saved a life, fixed a roof, exposed a conman, comforted a child. Young Fang Duobing used to want to know every little detail about his hero, Li Xiangyi. Now Fang Duobing wants to know every detail about his beloved friend, Li Lianhua. The years pass and fewer people come. But if they remember him, Li Lianhua lives on.

(long post, half meta, half fic, bittersweet)

They travel together, with Hulijing, in Lianhualou. Fang Duobing has nothing better to do, so he takes up detective work again. Di Feisheng has nothing better to do, so he comes along. Everywhere they go, they look for Li Lianhua. And in their journeys, it seems like everywhere they go, someone is talking about Li Xiangyi. Li Xiangyi, who had always been something of a legend, but ever since his reappearance and subsequent (re)disappearance, has seemingly been elevated into something approaching godhood.

you should've seen him, people say, floating across the rooftops in red, cold and beautiful, like an avenging hero out of some novel. wasn't he dead? no — of course he wasn't, li xiangyi would never have been so easily killed. but it was bicha poison, i heard nobody could survive bicha poison. yes, he was definitely dead, and came back to life through dark magic. no, he'd been alive the whole time, just held captive by di feisheng. he tried to kill his shixiong ten years ago and failed, and came back to finish the job. no, his shixiong tried to kill the emperor and li xiangyi came to stop him. the emperor? impossible. yes — don't you know, li xiangyi is the emperor's long-lost son?

All of it only amuses Di Feisheng, but it irks Fang Duobing. The same Fang Duobing, who, when he was younger, would've hungered for every little detail about Li Xiangyi and begged to hear more, now finds it maddening to listen to these strangers talk about him as if they knew him. The world might have known Li Xiangyi, but it had never known Li Lianhua.

Li Lianhua, who could wield Shaoshi like it was a natural extension of his arm, but regularly cut his fingers clumsily slicing radishes and onions. Li Lianhua, who would invariably try to shrug off an attack of bicha poison, but yelped and jumped back from hot oil splatters in the kitchen like a child. Li Lianhua, who frowned when a passing carriage splashed mud onto his robes, but knelt carelessly into the dirt and grass to play with Hulijing.

None of them knew any of that.

But as Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng continue their travels, they begin to encounter other people as well. People who come running when they see Lianhualou in the distance tottering their way. People who come bearing gifts — a woman looking for the shenyi who had helped her with her back pain and also exposed the con artist who had tried to trick her daughter into marriage. A young man coming to thank the doctor who had given his father herbs for stress while uncovering the corrupt official who had falsely accused him of theft. An elderly couple looking for the young man who had helped them thatch their roof before a rainstorm and had given them some medicinal cream before he left. (One middle-aged man with a club, looking for the wangba quack doctor who had exposed his infidelity to his wife — he had left after one look at Di Feisheng, standing silently in the doorway with his arms folded across his chest and dao strapped across his back.) People who greet Hulijing like an old friend.

Fang Duobing listens eagerly to every story they tell him, and in return, he tells them about his brilliant, kind, exasperating friend. Di Feisheng rolls his eyes every time, but Fang Duobing notices he never walks away either. They don't talk about it. But it’s as if Li Lianhua returns, however briefly, during those visits; in those moments, Fang Duobing can almost see him standing there, bending down to pet Hulijing alongside these old friends as she grins her little doggy grin and wags her tail. She escorts their guests to the door, and sits in the doorway after they leave, looking out at the world as though waiting. He doesn't ask if Di Feisheng can see him too. They sit and share wine after these visits, and eat the fruit that the visitors bring, until Di Feisheng can stand the heavy silence no longer and pushes Fang Duobing outside to spar. Hulijing follows faithfully, as always.

(fang duobing had brought home a puppy, once. he can't remember where he found it, but he remembers that he had held it in his lap in his wheelchair, eager to show it to his uncle before taking it home to his mother. his uncle had glared, and told him that dogs were only useful to guard the house, and tianji manor already had guards, human ones, and that fang duobing would do better to focus on his swordplay rather than waste time on such useless and frivolous things. he had taken the puppy away and fang duobing had never seen it again. it wasn't until those blurry months as he rode across the countryside looking for li lianhua, hulijing trotting along ever so loyally at his side, that he realized this was just another way that shan gudao and li xiangyi were opposites.)

The years pass, and there are fewer and fewer people who come. One day Fang Duobing wakes up with the unbearable realization that he is now older than Li Lianhua had ever been, would ever be, and is unable to get out of bed for a good half a shichen. Di Feisheng leaves him be.

The years pass, and Di Feisheng grows older too. There are lines on his face, snowy white beginning to thread through his jet-black hair. Fang Duobing wants very much to tease him about it, but the words catch in his throat when he looks too closely at the signs of time on Di Feisheng's face. What a precious and altogether rare thing it is, to age.

The years pass, and Hulijing grows older too. Fang Duobing finds that more and more often, Hulijing can no longer keep up with him when he goes riding. He stops going riding. She gets cold more easily now too, and more and more often Fang Duobing wakes in the morning with Hulijing curled up under the covers next to him, her wet nose shoved into his armpit. He holds her close and thinks about Li Lianhua shivering in his arms.

--------------------

It's been nearly a year since their last visitor, but today there is an old man. He comes in the morning, bringing a basket of plums. A long time ago, he says, a young man who lived here saved my life. I had been poisoned, he says, by my son who wanted my money and my lands. The doctors said there was no cure. But then the young man came and performed a miracle. He saved my life. He saved my life.

Fang Duobing knows it was no miracle that saved him. He asks for the old man's hand and it is given readily, albeit bemusedly. He presses his fingers to the inside of the man's wrist, and is greeted with a whisper-faint, gentle thrum of yangzhouman — a soft hello from a much-beloved friend. You fool, he thinks dazedly, caught somewhere between overwhelmed that here is someone, inside whom a piece of Li Lianhua lives on, and so bitterly angry. What had it cost? Some hours, days, weeks? He doesn't let himself think of what another week might have afforded them in those wild final days, in their desperate search for a cure. Fang Duobing gives the old man back his hand and blinks back the sting of tears. He cannot talk about Li Lianhua today. He apologizes and tells him that the man he is looking for is traveling and won't be back for a few days, but that Fang-mou will pass on the message. Before he leaves, the man leans down to rub at Hulijing's ear. My old friend, he says, like me, you, too, are truly old now.

After the man leaves, Fang Duobing folds himself into a sit on the floor of Lianhualou and gathers Hulijing into his arms. Gently — her joints are stiff now, and he can't haul her around, can't roughhouse with her the way he used to. Di Feisheng comes down the stairs from where he had been listening; he stands behind Fang Duobing and places a warm, steady hand on his shoulder. At the edge of his vision, near the door, Fang Duobing can see the hazy hem of green robes. If he looks up, he wonders brokenly, what would he see? The face of a man forever frozen in youth? Or a face lined with age, snowy white beginning to thread through jet-black hair? He suddenly finds that he cannot bear to find out.

Fang Duobing knows. He knows that the myth and the outlandish rumors about proud, arrogant, beautiful Li Xiangyi will never die. But he also knows that one day, there will be no one else who comes to Lianhualou; no one left who remembers gentle, sly, infuriating Li Lianhua. One day, the old man will pass on and the piece of Li Lianhua that he carries with him will fade as well. And one day… Fang Duobing presses his forehead against the soft fur of Hulijing's neck where it has gone white and thin with age. He closes his eyes and breathes.

--------------------

Years and years and years later, Fang Duobing is awakened from where he has fallen into a light doze reading in his chair by a soft knock on the door. There is a woman standing outside, holding a small basket of pears. I think I remember this building, she says. I must've only been six years old, but I had run off and lost my parents. I fell down in the street and skinned my knees. A kind gege helped me and gave me a piece of candy. He said he would walk me home but I said I didn't know whether I should tell him where I lived. He laughed and asked if it would help if I knew where he lived. He pointed to the most fantastical and wild house I had ever seen. I think it was this place. Xiansheng, does he live here? Who was he? Do you know him?

Fang Duobing smiles and invites her inside. On the bed, the small white dog that Di Feisheng has named, ridiculously, Baigujing, raises her head and thumps her tail a few times in hello. Di Feisheng looks up from where he is writing a letter at the table. Fang Duobing leads the woman over and waves at her to sit down. He sits across from her, ignoring Di Feisheng's eyeroll, and offers her a piece of candy. He always keeps candy around. Fang Duobing smiles once more and says, if you'd like to know — there is so much I would like to tell you.

[difeisheng]

right then, i know i've already discussed this with several people in bits and pieces, but i'm going to attempt to organize my thoughts about the intersection of di feisheng and li lianhua's endings in one post.

i've already touched before on how i think li lianhua moves through the story as a restless ghost. his aim is to tie up the loose ends of the life li xiangyi exited, before his time runs out, and that's why so many interactions with characters from his old life are about either mending relationships or ensuring they've both moved on with finality. by the end of the show, there's just one person who knew li xiangyi who hasn't gotten either of those, and that's di feisheng, waiting by the sea. he's still fixated on the duel, fixated on the competition between himself and li xiangyi, whether it's as foes or friends.

di feisheng's arc throughout the show sees him as someone who goes back and breaks cycles of his past. but li xiangyi is the part he can't shake off, the part he's still obsessed with. he's still insistent on defining himself and his worth by where he stands in relation to a man li lianhua has told him is dead.

the point where we don't see him do this is when his memory is lost, and that's why di feisheng's time as a-fei is so important to the story. we see him begin to define himself as a person in a world where the name of li xiangyi means nothing to him. we watch him start to figure out who he is free of ten years of agonizing over winning/losing to this man, and all the baggage of the past carried with him. it's something di feisheng didn't get a chance at before, and as it stands, maybe it's not too late for him to continue on that path. li lianhua, at least, doesn't think it's too late.

and so this is what li lianhua has to do to attain this last bit of closure, end this last relationship: he has to force di feisheng to let him go.

this is why it stands out so much to me that the goodbye letter li lianhua signs as li xiangyi is addressed to di feisheng. li lianhua is concerned with resolving li xiangyi's troubles, and so with the goodbye to di feisheng, his work is done. the fact that we watch di feisheng accept li xiangyi's death in the epilogue with "the bright moon has already sunk into the western sea, to where does the grieving wind urge the eight directions" is an important follow-up to this last action, because it means that it worked. di feisheng is mourning, yes, but with more certainty than he was at the beginning of the show, frozen in place emotionally for a full decade. his explicit acknowledgment that li xiangyi is dead now must push him forward in some direction to search for meaning in this world, and his life, outside of li xiangyi, rather than standing still. this way, their story truly comes to a close.

all this is also why it makes sense in my opinion that whatever image of li xiangyi is standing by the sea in the end isn't really there. he might be a ghost, or imagined by di feisheng and/or fang duobing, but that's not the real, living li xiangyi. because if he hasn't died or fully, completely exited the narrative, then it means that none of this effort succeeded. "it's hard to be a dead person", li lianhua said. for him to settle everything between li xiangyi and di feisheng— the conflict this story begins and ends with— and to free these two people of each other, li xiangyi must be dead to di feisheng. in the story this show chose to tell, when it came these characters, this is how it had to end.

[ultimateshixiongfuckertournament]

Noncanonicals Tournament Semifinal 1

Semifinal 1 is between Fang Duobing from Mysterious Lotus Casebook (shizun/mentor: Li Xiangyi / Li Lianhua) and Chen Pi Ah Si from DMBJ / The Mystic Nine (shizun/mentor: Er Yuehong)

Propaganda under the cut! (Warning: Propaganda may include spoilers about the characters and their media)

Fang Duobing:

Fang Duobing has most definitely had several fantasies of being dommed by his shifu Li Xiangyi! He is also equally invested in marrying Li Lianhua - travelling the jianghu, going on rooftop moonlit dates, incorporating looking after him forever and ever into his general future plans. This is even before he knows that Li Lianhua and Li Xiangyi are the same person. Oh there are Layers to the shizunfucking. Where's that post about being so devoted to someone that it breaks the pedestal they're put on and comes full circle to loving them for the person they are? (its here: https://www.tumblr.com/difeisheng/733133489565745152/the-core-of-fanghua-is-built-around-fang-duobings) When they finally do get to know each other 10 years later, after Li Xiangyi's identity is found out, Fang Duobing insists on being equals rather than master-and-disciple! Li lianhua is Fang Duobing’s guide in the Jianghu! He leaves his house, dog and the only records of his unique martial arts to Fang Duobing before running away!! Fang Duobing’s most important agenda is to save Li Lianhua from slow death by poison!!! He doesn't care if Li Lianhua keeps leaving him behind and lying to him and is 'at peace' with dying!! They live together. They'll never be equals. They've been equals all along. They're zhiji. They're master and disciple. they're married. They're everything.

#this man wanted to fuck his shizun under two whole ass different identities#this man was given one million choices between his shizun and his entire cushy rich boi life and did not sweat the decision even once#this man was engaged to a princess - who was COOL - and went “no thanks i’d rather follow shizun around in a fantasy china airstream’

#this cannot not be fang duobing let's be serious#polls#he's been drawing hearts around his shizun's name since age 8

#Fang Duobing going through it for what he thinks is two different people but is just one guy#so he gets my vote easy

Chen Pi Ah Si:

Listen. We know canonically Chen Pi is unhinged over his shifu's wife, but he's just as unhinged and Normal(tm) about Er Ye as he is about Ya Tou. He ripped a dude's face off for saying that Chen Pi might overtake Er Ye one day. He is the yandere flavour of a shizunfucker and you know it, and they deserve representation in this tournament as well

[acequinz]

Listen most of my thoughts on the lotus trio emerge when I am making silly ot3 comparisons or seeing someone else's post about one character that gets my mind reeling about the other two as well.

And once again I am thinking about how the lotus trio had a different relationship with love and how it affects them in their growth and the way they would/do deal with it when it comes to ot3.

Di Feisheng - barely got any love, actually make it none. He was raised as a soldier, assassin, or whatever just meant to kill others and was trained as such. He did not get any affection while he lived.

Then when he finally ran away, he attracted people due to his talent and strength but never once did he fall for the sweet words and was very good at seeing it for what it was. They were loyal to his strength and not just him that's why despite having a lot of people in the jingyuan alliance he only has like 2-3 people he truly trusts and it's likely that they go the longest together. (I don't remember exactly but you get me) He's not blinded by the fake love people throw at him and is good at discerning genuine affection.

Li Lianhua/ Li Xiangyi - my beloved.... Now heeee, he got some love. It wasn't all the love but it wasn't no love at all. He went from losing everything and starving to finding someone who was kind to him and appreciated him.

To me he also is someone with almost the worst relationship with love out of the three. Not just because he always ends up betrayed or dumped. But because he has the toughest time with discerning genuine love from the fake one.

When he lived as Li Xiangyi, he thought he was genuinely loved by all and it wasn't that they loved his strength because there is a difference and he didn't see that difference, (which is why the break up happened) but also he was hungry for love, he needed it.

You know how they say that if you are starving and you take one bite of something your hunger only gets worse.

That was his scene. Of course he had people who genuinely loved him but by the time he realised the difference between Li Xiangyi's strength and Li Xiangyi himself, he was too far gone and had even lost himself.

Then he started living as Li Lianhua, completely detached because he now no longer needed love as if he was an addict giving up on an addiction but love isn't exactly an addiction not if you are surrounded by the right kind and manage it well.

And he knew himself to not be able to manage it so he gave up on it, maybe even began to fear it.

Then we have Fang Doubing- he got all of it! Every bit of it. But not always. He was a sickly child once, most likely to die, people didn't even think he would live and no one believed in him until he started showing promise after his meeting with Li Xiangyi.

So yeah he was spoiled in love but that love wasn't exactly unconditional at all times, but he had a safe environment to judge it.

Like yes Fang Duobing is open to love and trust but not always, he is smart about it and he knows that if he's wrong and falls he will have people who love him to catch him so he is more open to new people and can take the risk of being kind without knowing everything immediately.

Cause again, it's not like Fang Duobing just opens his heart for everyone and invites them in but he's definitely kinder to himself and others when things come down to it.

He is nice and kind to people he understands as deserving of his care and has an actual ranking of people he cares about.

And honestly all of this is only visible when you watch the three interact together.

At all moments Li Lianhua is the most uncomfortable, is it his hunger acting up? Is it the unraveling of the plot? Or resurgence of the emotions he tries his best to suppress?

He is very confident with resolving mysteries but his biggest fears are dealing with the people who genuinely loved him and it's so obvious with the way he hesitates and even stops in his tracks.

Like he knows the people who never actually loved him and has gotten over it but he still fears the people who did love him with all of their being and he fears having to face them the most.

Even with Fang Duobing we see him struggle to open up and bare himself, it's harder with Di Feisheng because he already sees through every cover up and Li Lianhua doesn't exactly get a choice there. ( Is it also because Li Lianhua doesn't consider himself to be someone loved by him? Probably)

Di Feisheng isn't exactly open to anyone except Li Xiangyi from the start but he doesn't really fear it and back away either and that's visible in the almost indulgent way he treats Fang Duobing.

Like sure initially it's cause he can't do anything about Fang Duobing but eventually they do begin to work together very well, there's an almost unspoken understanding between them. (Unspoken from dfs because we know fdb loves to yap) And Di Feisheng sees the promise in Fang Duobing as well, respects it but like- it's too early for you to be considered for my rival position, come back in another 10 years and I will THINK about it-.

And it's because he doesn't shy away and actually looks at Fang Duobing too, maybe it's because he knows Fang Duobing is looking at him or he just wants to see what Li Xiangyi sees in him but he does look at Fang Duobing and most definitely appreciates what he sees.

Maybe the view is that of a defenseless puppy at first who most likely won't survive but not only does the puppy continue to survive but he only gets stronger and he doesn't lose himself in the change.

Neither Li Xiangyi nor Di Feisheng accomplished that. And Di Feisheng wouldn't change himself even now but he will respect the grind of the protective puppy.

And very few people have his respect. (Also if I may add, respect and acknowledgement is the way Di Feisheng loves hence his constant screams of Li Xiangyi being his only rival and worthy of standing against him are practically love confessions that Li Lianhua/ Li Xiangyi never saw)

Then comes Fang Duobing, he clings to Li Lianhua very fast, open and trusting despite the trickery that befalls him.

He has subconsciously already made the decision that he trusts Li Lianhua and once his subconscious connects it to his main consciousness he takes it in a stride, like fuck yeah! I trust him.

He knows the other keeps his secrets but he also judges his actions and makes the choice to continue trusting Li Lianhua cause let's be honest there are many instances where Xiaobao is indignant and would/should walk away but he makes the active decision to stay because he trusts and loves Lianhua (platonic or romantic is your choice).

Then comes in Di Feisheng and he doesn't cling half as fast, he's on the edge and still judging until Li Lianhua reveals a 10 year long connection and even then he just relaxes a little, still considering a-fei and trying to decide which slot to put him in? But he has already accepted him by this point, he is one of the people under Fang Duobing's protection and he will care for him, even if he doesn't get him yet.

There's few reasons to trust either of them but he does anyway because that's just how loved and honestly he wasn't wrong with it.

Now I know I am using mainly Fang Duobing to explain my thoughts on others but it's because there's a lot of offscreen history between dihua and I have yet to form full ideas on how i think their relationship actually goes other than the simple unwavering trust they have in their own knowledge of their rival.

And we more or less meet dihua in their final arc while fang Duobing is in his first arc so I have more in show stuff to go off of. So my headcanons for difang and fanghua are a lot more detailed compared to my dihua headcanons. (I am still building around them).

[hils79]

Hils Watches Mysterious Lotus Casebook - Ep 24

His little pleased smile when he tells Fang Duobing to dig up the body and he just does it without question or complaint

Well, I knew the missing body parts were an important clue but I didn't have 'the guy who was chopped into pieces actually died from a snake bite' on my bingo card

It was framed!

Fashion isn't a crime, Fang Duobing (I mean in this case it was to conceal a crime but still)

Holy shit every time I think we're at the end of the case there's another twist!

"If you're going to dramatically throw yourself off a cliff please don't land on me." I love him

I think Fang Duobing is starting to love him too

I'm going to be sad when Di Feisheng gets his memories back and they stop calling him A-Fei. I've got used to it now.

Cool motive. Still murder.

Mood

Oh my god is anyone on this island not involved in shenanigans (or dead)

Someone always asks, and Li Lianhua is just waiting for it so he can show off how smart he is

Yes, roast him Fang Duobing

The irony that Di Feisheng removed a signal to his sect, because he doesn't know that's where he's from

This is the least black and white case of all the ones they've solved but okay

Someone mentioned this on one of my other posts and it's a good point. She's been in this place for two months. How has no one noticed she's missing? A princess getting kidnapped is a pretty big deal. The guy whose island it is seems pretty well informed on what's going on in the world, to know which interesting people to invite to his island each year. Surely he didn't want to risk people looking for a missing princess turning up at his door and ruining his slave mansion and opium business. It just doesn't make sense.

This is about to get awkward in multiple ways. "Hi, yes, I bailed on our engagement. Also, this is my boyfriend."

I love that whoever is voice dubbing her has changed her voice now that she's revealed herself as the princess. It's like when Prince Adam turns into He-Man and his voice suddenly becomes deeper.

He pretends he doesn't give a shit but look at him smiling at the happy ending

Right, I'm away fro the weekend to visit my sister so there will be no more liveblogs from me until Monday. I have the day off so I might be able to squeeze in a couple of extra episodes 👀

[omgpurplefattie]

These are the stories of some people, all more or less queer, that live their lives in the City, are all interconnected (either as friends or as rivals) and go through both fun and difficult times together.

This modern AU for several historical and/or wuxia c-dramas is set in some large globalised city adjacent to the Sinosphere, or at least with a very sizeable Chinese diaspora. I don't know enough about Taipeh, and Singapore is out of the question for reasons, so I'm just calling it The City and shall leave it at that. It has everything a city needs -- a university, high-rises, an IKEA, internet cafés, a gay scene, corruption in the building sector, an airport, and young edgy artists. It's hot there in the summer, very rainy in autumn (think typhoons, the way they tend to interrupt life in Japan) and temperate in winter. In this place, characters from

Word of Honor

The Untamed

A League of Nobleman

Mysterious Lotus Casebook

Sleuth of Ming Dynasty

and some more that are a bit blink-and-you-miss it,

are living their modern, non-magical lives which I am following along in this series.

The main parts are "A Matter of Priorities" (Rong Changqing/Ye Baiyi from Word of Honor / Tian Ya Ke) and "Detoxify" (Li Lianhua/Di Feisheng/Fang Duobing from Mysterious Lotus Casebook), but everybody gets their moment in the limelight. Even Mo Xuanyu.-

Re-post of this self-promo inspired by @fealiniel's recent post. Thanks to @busarewski for cheering me on while writing, and helping me pick the banner.

[bbcphile]

WIP Wednesday (MLC longfic again!)

Now that my amnesia fic is posted, it's time for more of my MLC longfic! At long last, LLH is awake again . . . and not doing that well.

(You can find earlier excerpts here.)

CW/TW: Panic attack, bicha flare, suicidal ideation

Something was different. The pain was there as always, waiting to devour him whole once he acknowledged it, but there was something else, something blanketing it, muting it somehow.

Li Lianhua stretched out his senses like a limb and tried to make sense of it.

Ah. Warmth. That was the strange sensation. Warmth–heat, even–all around him–his back, his chest, his legs, even his fingers, which had been more like blocks of ice than flesh and blood these last few months.

He leaned back, pushing into the banked heat behind him. The solid core of warmth tucked against his front from navel to neck twitched, then pressed against him more securely, as though it could make a home for itself inside his sternum, ribs, and spine and heat him from within.

He felt warm everywhere.

Well, almost everywhere.

He rolled forward slightly, wiggled further down on the bed, and tugged the core of warmth up higher. He curled his arms and shoulders around it and nestled the bit in his hand between his face and the pillow until it cradled his cheek. 

Much better.

He smiled into his new, warmer pillow and let himself start to relax back into sleep.

“Xiangyi?”

The warmth against his face gradually took shape as his skin and mind began to wake. That was a finger–no, several fingers. A hand. A large hand. And those calluses–how could he not know them when they had clashed steel with him, choked him, clinked brimming cups of wedding wine with him, even been inside him, taking him apart with a gentleness he hadn’t known they could profess.

He let his awareness spread throughout his body, setting aside the pain, and yes, that was a-Fei’s chest he had pressed himself against, like Huli Jing requesting head scritches, and those were a-Fei’s legs, tangled with his, and that was a-Fei’s breath rustling his hair–less now than it had been a moment ago–and that was indeed a-Fei’s arm he was clutching like a child would a favorite toy. 

But a-Fei had been holding him first.

Why was a-Fei holding him? It was one thing to wake up in each others’ arms in the newly wed room, after their  . . . exertions. Before a-Fei knew that any real dream of a future was doomed to fail.

But to hold him now? After he’d given away the wangchuan flower and left a-Fei behind, left their promise behind? To hold him like he still mattered. Like he wasn’t a curse who killed everyone he’d ever cared about. Like he was some sort of treasure . . .

Treasure . . . 

Cabinets stained in blood, Xiaobao’s blood–

“Xiaobao,” he gasped, flinging himself free and to his feet. Where was Xiaobao? He had to find him, had to heal him, before it was too late–

“Xiangyi! Sit down!” A-Fei caught him as his legs buckled and lowered him back onto the bed. 

Why wasn’t Xiaobao here? Had he killed him, too, just like he killed everyone he cared about? 

“Duobing,” a-Fei roared. “Get in here. Now!” Callused fingers cupped both sides of his face, turning it gently but firmly toward him. “Xiangyi, look at me. He’s alright. He’s on his way.” 

“How could he be alright?” Li Lianhua gasped, clutching at his shoulders, the already blurry world turning more hazy. “I saw the blood!”

“I healed him. He’s safe,” a-Fei said, cradling his head as though he could hold the shattering pieces of his mind together. “Now breathe.” 

Li Lianhua choked on an inhale, his lungs spasming, only managing to draw in a desperate wheeze.

A-Fei cursed and dropped to his knees by the bed, pressing one hand to Li Lianhua’s back and the other to his chest, filling both with a familiar warmth that began to break apart the iron bands strangling his throat and lungs. “Try again. Feel my hands. Press against them when you inhale.”

The next breath shook and spluttered like a dying candle but some air squeaked through nonetheless.

“Good.” A-Fei gave his back a short supportive pat. “Again.”

Lotus Tower shook as footsteps pounded toward the bed. “What’s wrong?” panted a beautifully familiar, impossible voice. “Xiaohua’er?”

“Bicha,” a-Fei growled, rising from the floor to kneel on the bed at his side, his hands still bracketing him on either side. “He thinks you’re dead. Show him the scab.”

“Shit,” the Xiaobao-shaped hallucination cursed. It seemed especially cruel of hallucinations to now match the blurriness of their surroundings. It made them seem far too real.

The hallucination knelt at his feet and took his hands. “It’s me, Xiaohua’er,” it said, tears in its eyes and voice. “I’m alright. A-Fei healed me. See?” It brought his hand up to a spot on the back of his skull and pressed his fingers to a crusted, raised line on its scalp. “I’m right here and I’m alright. Do you believe me?”

He could feel it. Why could he feel it? His fingers had always passed through hallucinations before. And even when he’d dreamt of Xiaobao, or of a-Fei, of holding them again, it hadn’t felt as real as this. His fingers traced the ridges of the scab–a perfectly neat seam–then the silk curtain of hair that covered it. 

This was Xiaobao’s hair. The texture, the thickness, what he could see of the color–no hallucination could do justice to this. 

This was his Xiaobao.

He was alive.

“Xiaobao,” he cried, turning his head this way and that to make sure it was the only injury. “You’re alright!”

Xiaobao’s bright smile shone through despite the haze his eyes imposed on everything. “Told you. No harm done. So focus on taking care of yourself, ok, lao huli?”

Li Lianhua huffed out a wet attempt at a scoff and bopped the side of his head. “No harm? What do you call this?”

Xiaobao captured his hands with his and brought them down from his head to rest between them. “Less serious than a Bicha attack. How are you feeling?”

Li Lianhua blinked. A Bicha attack? He turned his attention inward to his qi, and–

Ah. There was a-Fei’s Beifeng Baiyang, somehow wrapped around his Yangzhouman and pushing the last of the poison back into the recesses where it would lie in wait, coiled and ready for the next attack. The black tinge was almost gone from his veins.

He had been so worried about Xiaobao that he hadn’t even realized.

A-Fei had probably saved his life. Again. 

He shouldn’t have bothered.

[eirenical]

Mysterious Lotus Casebook | Lian Hua Lou | 莲花楼 | Episode 5

Poor thing. None of the people she loved loved her. And none of them wanted to leave her alive.

[Do not repost. Do not remove caption. Thank you!]

Gif IDs and meta babble under the cut.

[ID: Three gifs of Li Lianhua from episode 5 of Mysterious Lotus Casebook. He is shown from mid-chest up in the first gif and from the shoulders up in the last two. He is speaking of the murder victim in the case they are investigated (text in the main post). He looks a little sad, also a bit resigned. There is a brief cut in the first gif to Fang Duobing looking equally sad.]

So this rewatch is going... SO WELL. I keep finding these ridiculous parallels in places I don't expect to find them and losing my entire damned mind about it. This episode struck me the first time as existing mostly to establish that LLH is, in fact, a good detective. He's wily as hell and has the knowledge to back it up. It's also the avenue by which we're introduced to the Jinyuan Alliance and some of the other side players that come back later on. But I didn't think much of the mystery itself. Of the parallels that are going to be drawn later on.

Yu Qiushang died twice, victim to the people who supposedly loved her most, because she was in the way. Because it was too dangerous to leave her alive with the things she knew.

...kind of like Li Xiangyi.

Only it wasn't about what he knew, it was about who he was. He was inconvenient, and too righteous to be left alive to interfere. And he, too, was killed multiple times over the course of the story:

Once by Jiao Liquiao and Yun Biqiu with teh Bicha Poison.

Twice by Di Feisheng over the Eastern Sea.

Thrice by Xiao Zijin and the rest of Sigu Sect when they disbanded the Sect rather than try to rebuild.

And one final time when Shan Gudao set out to destroy his legacy and reputation.

All people he loved (yes, I'm counting Di Feisheng in that category, fight me ^_^). All people who didn't (or at least who he thought didn't) love him back in the same way. All people who betrayed him.

And if you watch that last gif: there's a breath that gets punched out of him; that hitch before he says those final words; that twist to his features like he's just now seeing this parallel himself.

This one hit home.

And then to find Di Feisheng in the back mountain so soon after when he's helpless to confront him? The way his fist clenches because he's practically DRIVEN by the need to do SOMETHING... but he can't. He isn't strong enough. He's hurt. It would be suicide.

But this case has brought all of that roaring to the surface and he's not ready for it.

It's no wonder he passes out.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment to go cry in a corner about this man YET AGAIN. 😭🥺😭

[thesilversun]

WIP Wednesday

Not doing the screenshots this week, just pasting it in, as I'm using ancient laptop. Still part 7 of Before the Dawn, but this probably the last Wednesday for part 7. Hoping to actually post that part this weekend. Then it will be onto part 8. (Also been working an exchange fic - but can't share any of that)

For this bit, Di Feisheng meets up with Wuyan, and plans are put in place.

No specific warnings apply. DFS is tired, sore and concern about LLH, but otherwise managing (mostly by ingoring tired and sore parts.)

Decision made, Di Feisheng returns to the overgrown seats in the little pavilion to wait.  

He doesn’t have to wait long. Despite the security in the palace, which must be high right now, Wuyan lands lightly on the path seemingly unbothered by it all. His choice of approach giving Di Feisheng enough warning not to be startled by him.  

“Mengzhu.” A small bow as he appraises how his sect leader looks. “What do you need?” 

Any concern that Di Feisheng had about how Wuyan has been is dispelled. He looks as he always does. Calm and ready to take whatever action is required of him. The relief almost make him want to hug him. Not that they’ve ever had that kind of relationship, not that he thinks Wuyan would even welcome it.  Too much time spent around Fang Duobing, he thinks, with rather less annoyance than he used to. Li Lianhua’s would be disciple really was just so eager with touches and hugs and smiles that it was infectious.  

Di Feisheng stands, ankles protesting once more at being made to bear weight. He knows how not to let any of it show on his face.  

“Jiao Liqiao took the Styx flower from me. If she’d wanted to destroy it she would have done so in front of me. So it will be hidden.” He has to believe that is true. Because if it isn’t, if it’s gone, then so is Li Lianhua’s last hope of a cure. He will die.   

Closing his eyes, Di Feisheng fights the sudden wave of dizziness that breaks over him. Perhaps standing up had been an error.  

“Mengzhu?” Wuyan’s hand comes to rest lightly on Di Feisheng’s arm. “Are you injured?”  

Although the answer is yes and he trusts Wuyan absolutely, still the words catch in his throat. It’s to himself that he can’t admit any weakness. Because if he does, if he allows himself that, he doesn’t know how to come back from it. So he can‘t. Not yet. Maybe not ever.    

“Shall I inform Yao Mo?”  

Opening his eyes, Di Feisheng lifts Wuyan’s hand from his arm. “No need. Find the Styx flower and bring it to me. You have three days. If you haven’t found it by then report what you have found.”  

He doesn’t say ‘be careful.’ For Wuyan to have lived as long as he has there must be an element of caution to how he approaches the tasks he is given. All the same providing him with extra information is necessary. “Do not touch the box directly, it was poisoned. It was how she killed the King of Yama.” 

Wuyan nods, nothing showing on his face as to whether the news of the death of the last of the three kings has affected him. Most likely he’d already known. It had been more than a week and Jiao Liqiao would have hardly been secretive about it. 

“Will you remain here for three days?” Wuyan asks, looking around the gardens.  

It’s a good question and one to which Di Feisheng doesn’t have an answer. Perhaps he will remain at the palace. Or perhaps Li Lianhua will want to get back to his ridiculous moving house or his Shiniang will want him to go with her to her mountain retreat or maybe they’ll all go back with Fang Duobing to Tianji Hall. There is no way of knowing where he will be in a few days time apart from not willingly letting Li Lianhua out of his sight. “I will call for you three days.”  

“Rest well.” There is an unspoken look of concern in Wuyan’s eyes as he salutes, then turns to leave. “I will return.”  

Di Feisheng lets him go. Wuyan had done the impossible in finding the Styx flower in the first place. To locate it from wherever Jiao Liqiao’s had concealed would be simple task in comparison. He trusts him to accomplish it and to bring back it to him. 

Only once Wuyan is out of sight does he allow himself to sag against one of carved columns that hold up the pavilion roof, exhaustion and pain threatening to drop him to the ground once more.