#yes we’re ignoring all the jacks backstory that happened in this new series

[chryzure-archive]

wait i might have an idea for a) where jacks got his cursed kiss, and b) the reason why chrysi’s immune to it. remind me to tell you guys abt it in the morning

[ampwich-blog]

In depth review of Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

There will be lots of spoilers. You have been warned. Where do I even begin with this movie? Well first off, where is the episode number? (Review gets better, stick around!) Might be confusing for some, but I suppose everyone knows by now what number it is. Anyway, let’s start at, well the start. First, we see no 20th Century Fox intro....which took some getting used to at first but it’s fine, it’s to be expected. As you know, Disney is now the parent company of Lucasfilm, so the Fox logo is not gonna be in there, obviously. I am really glad that Disney didn’t put THEIR logo in. I was a bit worried going in at what it would be like. I mean, I want Disney to keep off of Star Wars as much as possible, if that makes sense. I don’t wanna be reminded of the situation, ya know, lol.

So, the title crawl. The theme is a bit.....off. Bad quality....it sounds....hollow, in a way. Compare it to that of the prequel title crawls, and you’ll see what I mean. That version (Prequel crawl) remains the best in my opinion. Legit quality score, while this one, all due respect to the mastermind that is John Williams, is more of a sad attempt.....a parody, if you will. “Luke has vanished!” Interesting....thought not quite in his character, but I’ll get to that later. Capital letters for the factions involved.....which only happened with every even number movie (2, 4, 6) up to now. Kinda breaking tradition a little, but it’s forgivable since it does mention the Empire in the crawl, and they gotta make a distinction as to what factions are actually in the movie. “With the support of the REPUBLIC, Leia leads a brave RESISTANCE.” Well, would have preferred to see the actual Republic in the conflict itself, but I’ll get to that later.

The opening shot, despite it being the only one of the saga (At this time) that has nothing to do with the last sentence of the title crawl, is pretty freaking epic. The big ship looming over the planet below, and deploying troop transports is just awe to the some! It’s ominous, visually astounding, and just tell you right off the bat that this First Order does not mess around. They are like the Empire as far as the ideals; the evil, sort of wanting to control and get their way, but the way they go about things is like the Republic of old, where they aren’t afraid to get down and dirty, so to speak. (Despite them looking new and shiny, ha) They are willing get things done, no matter the cost, (As we see what they did to that village) and that makes them terrifying. Speaking of which, the troops being deployed and the fight that ensues is pretty awesome. Let me just say that over all, this movie is stunning. It sure does THAT right. You got practical effects everywhere as far as the on-ground scenes go, and beautiful cgi as far as everything else goes. Except for some scenes here and there, like the starfighters when they are dogfighting, and especially when Poe and Finn escape the Finalizer, the cgi is a bit animated there but I honestly never minded that kinda thing. I mean, even in the prequel trilogy, I don’t mind the cgi. I’m there for the story and the action, and I can suspend any “belief” as far as visuals go to have a good time viewing, but hey, that’s just me. Anyway, let’s move on to the more nitpicky things.

First of all, Finn. I really like the concept of his character, his backstory. This bad guy turned good. Especially what we’ve seen up until now as faceless troopers. (As far as the movies go, since The Clone Wars series showed the clones in great depth) Which I like the idea of, but the way they go about it is super lame to me. They introduce the idea that faceless, nameless bad guys can turn good, that they are people too, and have morals and a conscience. They have their own lives and struggles. Sort of “lifting the mask,” so to speak. But they forget about that pretty quickly, as they go right back to shooting away baddies like they are points in a game. Even Finn is all, “WWOOOO!” as he shoots away his friends, his comrades, the only family he’s ever known. These are people he knew personally, who, he should know better than anyone, are people too, who can become good. Not only that, but the way he turns good is just....rushed. He switches on a dime. From the very get go, he is already questioning his ways with no development whatsoever. “It’s the right thing to do,” he says, despite never having had a conversation with a good guy saying that.....NOTHING. Just.....BAM, bad guy being horrified by his factions actions (Hey, that rhymed) and turning good right away. And another shame, to add insult to injury so to speak, is Finn is just another stereotypical black character. Like seemingly every black guy Hollywood depicts, he is the comic relief, the hyper guy, always on edge and shouting, exaggerating things, etc. And what is it with Hollywood and black characters always speaking in an American-ish.....I guess sort of “urban” way? I mean, they could have just had the actor use his real life, natural English accent. I mean, it’s a cool accent! And he is apart of the First Order, so it would make sense. “Oh, but the original trilogy had stormtroopers always speaking in an American accent.” Well, that doesn’t mean this trilogy has to do the same thing! Not EVERYONE is from the same dang planet! Chances are, not ALL of them would have the same accents. (The clone troopers didn’t have an American accent, by the way) And as far as these stormtroopers go, they were kidnapped from the First Order at a very young, impressionable age, being raised and trained. So it only makes sense they, too, might have an “English“ accent. (I say the nationality terms for accents here for lack of a better way to put it. Obviously, these aren’t Earthlings, lol) They said they went with an “American” accent for Finn, due to the pacing and comical tone. But 1. WHY does he need to be comical? This dude has a tragic story, he shouldn’t be the comic relief. I mean, you could have done that with Poe, if anyone. But do we REALLY need anyone to be comical? Do we really need a “Jar Jar” or “C-3PO” of this trilogy? (C-3PO is already in it, anyway) 2. He kind of pronounces words weird. Could be the planet he is from? If so, could someone tell me what planet? Like for example, Jakku. “JockUUE.” No, no, Finn, it’s “Jack-koo.” “JocKUUE.” No, no, “Jack.....koo.....” “JockUUE.” Ya know what, nevermind. Just....don’t worry about it.

Anyway....you also have Rey, who is, granted, not PERFECT at everything, but she is a little....too good....There’s really no development for her, I mean she has the same basic attitude and, well, fighting skills the whole time. Sure, it can be explained away by her being a scavenger all her life, growing up in a “rough part of town,” so to say. But it just makes her parts in the movie more boring, really. Not that much room to grow as a character. She’s just good from the get go. Similar to Anakin in Episode 1. Is she a Chosen One, too?! I’m getting those vibes with her...And doesn’t help that all the characters seem to know who she is, but never say anything. It’s like some big mystery, some big reveal to come in the next movie. Please tell me we’re not gonna get another “I am your family member” moment. That aside, there is no real attributes to her, aside from her not wanting to leave Jakku, because her family might come back at any time. She has to learn to accept that she has to move on. She has to live her own life. These new friends of hers ARE her family now, and she has a cause to fight for, a real difference to make for the greater good. But aside from that, there really isn’t that much going for her, character wise. She’s just kinda the same throughout the whole movie, already having good sound morals, being a good fighter and pilot. (How the heck does she know the Millennium Falcon better than Han Solo?!) Being able to use the Force and know how to mind trick, etc. (HOW??) all seemingly without flaw. Granted, her fight with Kylo later is pretty much defensive, and she was losing up until the point she remembers to trust in the Force, and only then does the tide turn in her favor. (Much like Luke in the Battle of Yavin) And heck, Kylo was injured by a freaking bowcaster for crying out loud! (By the way, how the heck does he stay still as a statue, when others hit by the bowcaster are FLUNG like a sonic frisbee?....) Kylo was not only facing her, but Finn as well. AND he just murdered his father, so that’s probably going through his mind. That is pretty impressive on his part. So I will give Rey’s character that much, that there was AN attribute and that she did struggle....(For as little as she did) But hey, it’s something. Though escaping from Kylo Ren’s clutches all by herself was a bit much.

The other new guy, Poe Dameron. He was alright. He was WAY too good of a pilot, though, I mean, geez. (Now this is podracing?) And that part where he is flung elsewhere when he and Finn crash, and later turns out he survived and is right back to fighting. Not a whole lot of sound explanation is given for that, at least in the realm of believability. Now that is called bad writing, I’m just being honest.

Kylo Ren.....I don’t quite understand the hate toward him. I mean, he’s a developing character. He’s conflicted....and yes, he’s quite whiny. But he is related to Anakin and Luke, he’s got that Skywalker blood in him, so it’s kind of to be expected. He isn’t another Vader; Meaning, he isn’t already matured and developed, and is an all out boss to face later. This high and mighty villain that is a lurking threat and you must come to face at some point. No, he is basically a main character in his own right. He is the other side of the coin from Rey. I am excited to see where they take his character. The idea of Han and Leia’s son being a villain is pulled straight from Legends, which I personally appreciate. As much as they ignore the old EU, (Correct me if I’m wrong, never really read it) they do have SOME things from it, so I at least like that. Though what is up with his Force powers? Apparently in Star Wars, you can stop blaster fire mid air? And you can freeze a person in place, and even knock them out? Why didn’t anyone ever do any of that before, then? I’m sure it would have come in handy.

Snoke.....I like the mystery behind his character, and his ominous presence. (But dat voice though) So many questions. Who is this guy? WHAT is he? Why is he leading the First Order? (I will address that part later) I just hope he doesn’t end up being some random evil Force user. Some new character, another villain they have to defeat, blah blah blah. I want him to be of some great significance. Perhaps he is someone we know of already, and is getting his revenge, or is on the rise. Perhaps he is the dark side itself personified, and defeating him would finally bring true balance to the Force and end all this madness. SOMETHING that when he and the First Order are defeated, it can be a nice finish to the saga, bringing all 3 trilogies together in a grand way. Whatever happens, I just hope it’s awesome, mind blowing, and significant. I don’t want this trilogy to just be “what happens later.” Or a one off thing. I want it to be legit THE SEQUEL TRILOGY.

Captain Phasma SUCKS in this movie. They made her out to be a fierce warrior or some crap in marketing, only for her to have nothing to do in the film, and to be a total coward. The ease at which she succumbs to the good guys demands is just pathetic. All they had to do is threaten her life and she is willing to compromise her entire faction. Just a WEAK villain. And Han suggests to throw her in a trash compactor. I mean, that’s pretty dark for his character, don’t you think? I thought he was a good guy! What gives?

General Hux is, well....alright I guess. He does have some cringey dialogue at times. Like when he is talking to Snoke and is all, “We should destroy the government that supports the Resistance.....” and there’s a pause in there, as if we don’t know what he is referring to. OH, what could it possibly be, I wonder?? “the Republic.” *GASP!* NOOOOOO! (That whole situation with the First Order, Resistance, and Republic is pretty confusing, but I will get to that in a bit) His speech was pretty epic, though, I gotta admit. I couldn’t help but listen to it and apply it to my imagination in some way. It definitely has a Nazi vibe to it. Really gives you the sense that these guys are this small, extremist group rallying together and hellbent on destroying the Republic and all that is good. We get to see their craziness at play here. They come across as a cult, almost. You can tell by the way the troops respond, too, that they are pretty much brainwashed and willing to die for a cause that is evil. These guys are quite the threat, despite their small size. (They do make up for that with their big ships and advanced tech. They have to use quality over quantity)

Now that the Republic capital has been Alderaaned all up in here, the good guys have definitely been brought down to the First Orders level, and now it’s more of an even fight. Since before, it was the galactic government, the Republic. With its big military (WAY smaller than any before it, but still the biggest of its era, so I’ve read) and Leia leading a Resistance. But now, a good chunk of the Republics fleet is gone and they probably will have to band with the Resistance if they have any hope of fighting off the First Order. (So I hope is the case) Though they make it seem like the Republic as a whole is destroyed, and if that is the case, then that is soooo stupid! The Rebels, turns out, did restore the Republic. But now it’s as if it was all for nothing, as now, it seemingly gets destroyed. Now we are stuck with ANOTHER ragtag group of Rebels. REALLY.

This “Resistance” (Oh, yes, sounds soooo different, uh huh) looks JUST like the Rebel Alliance! X-Wings, the pilot outfits, a hidden base on a forest planet, the whole 9 yards. Heck, even their emblem is the EXACT same as the Rebel firebird! They aren’t even trying here! This is just Rebellion 2.0! Even the situation they find themselves in, from trying to get info in a droid before their enemy does, to having to blow up a planet killing ball seconds before it destroys their base....IS THE SAME THING! Those aspects were basically just Episode 4 all over again. I mean, holy crap, I know you have to do the whole “rhyme” thing, but can you at least be a little more subtle about it? Yes, Episode 1 repeated some stuff, but they weren’t so blatant about it. There’s even a dang trench run! COME ON, LUCASFILM! Have SOME originality here!

The bad guys, while more original, isn’t excused either. The First Order (What does that name even mean? Like....what??) is also a missed opportunity. I mean, first learning about them, they seemed like this organized terrorist group, essentially an evil rebellion. A group founded by fleeing Imperials years before, hellbent on revenge, yata yata. (NONE of which is explained in the movie) Much like the real life theory of Nazis fleeing elsewhere and rebuilding in secret to become a threat once more. Which more or less is exactly what they are. But to me, they had initially seemed like a cult, a secret society, some extremist group. Which I definitely got that feel during Hux’s speech. (Again, which is awesome) But as time goes on, I’m starting to see them more like Empire 2.0. Still TIE Fighters for some reason, still calling their troops stormtroopers (More of a minor nitpick, really) another Death Star, (I will address that in a bit) another scarred dark sider leading it, etc. (And from the looks of The Last Jedi, more walkers....probably gonna be a weakness that needs exploited) Even another dark side enforcer dude with a mask on. Well that last part, again, is kind of a minor nitpick, but thought I’d mention the parallel at least. (I personally like Kylo Ren, as I said before. Though the son of the Resistance leader being in the First Order is kind of a bit too coincidental, huh?)

What I think would have made a more compelling setting is the New Republic vs the Resistance. (The Resistance being what we ultimately got as the First Order) Instead of being a closed off organization being led by yet another dark sider, (Which doesn’t even make sense here. Like what the heck does Snoke have to do with them??) it would be a movement actively recruiting members who are loyalists to the old Empire, and want to take down the Republic. Led by Hux, they would actively make speeches, protests, terrorist attacks, etc. Which I suppose we kind of got, but if all that was in the movie itself with some more added, I mean. It would feel more like a reverse rebellion of sorts. They could be more vocal, since the government here is more democratic and friendly.....Of course, my idea of a Resistance would have a military in secret and be doing shady things like the First Order does. That would be the political side of things. On the Force side of things, we would have the new Jedi Order struggling against the Knights of Ren, led by Snoke. And Snoke would be, I don’t know, the source of the dark side itself or something. Perhaps Snoke IS that in canon, or something similar, who knows. This dark side entity from the unknown regions. But him leading the First Order just doesn’t make sense to me and is just too similar to the situation with the Empire.

The new Jedi Order is kinda dumb, turns out. In the EU, they were legit. But here, we never get to see them in action. We’re just told they were all slaughtered. So now we’re back to square one, with Luke being the last of the Jedi....AGAIN. And Luke just....left? When the galaxy needed him most, he vanished.....Some time has passed and my new best friend and I discovered a new Jedi-to-be. A Force user named Rey. And although her Force powers are great, she has a lot to learn before she’s ready to save anyone. Hehe, just kidding. Get the reference? Eh? Moving on. Seems out of Lukes character to just abandon the galaxy like that out of self pity. I mean, this is the same guy who disobeyed his Jedi masters to go save his friends on Bespin, despite all the red flags. The same dude who put his own life and morals on the line just for a slight chance to bring his father back to the light side. This guy is pretty dang stubborn when it comes to saving people. So for him to just throw his hands in the air and say “I quit” and leave everything to die just doesn’t make sense to me. Though to be fair, he was pretty whiny and did give up rather easily.....But still, you would think he’d have learned his lesson by now, 30 years later and being a Jedi master and crap.....(Also he gets no dialogue! WHAT THE HECK. No reunion with the others, nothing. Minor nitpick, really. I honestly don’t mind, to be honest, but thought I’d mention it) Not only Luke, but everyone is back to square one. Han and Chewy are back to their lives of crime. (Don’t tell Leia  or anyone in the Republic?) Leia is back to having a big role in a resistance movement. The galaxy is now back to Empire vs Rebels crap again, (Now that the Republic is presumably gone) and so on and so forth. Just seems like all that was accomplished in the original trilogy was for nothing.

Starkiller Base. Let me just get this out of the way: REHASH!! I mean, seriously, it’s Death Star 3, can we please call it Death Star 3 and be honest with ourselves? (Not really, I’m trying to be in denial here) Take out the Starkiller, and this movie is alright. Every time I see it on screen, (As cool as it looks and is to watch it fire) I cringe. Especially during the attack on it by the Resistance. That whole battle just feels like Battle of Yavin 2.0. “Battle of D’qar?” I don’t know....The whole thing was SO painfully predictable, it hurts to watch. I mean, really....how many times are we gonna get this dang scenario? Just 1 movie before this, we already had a 2nd one, do we really need a 3rd? It’s getting numb at this point. Even the characters in the movie are tired of it! “It’s another Death Star!” “I wish that was the case....” NO, it is! That person was right! And even Han is like again, really? The way he speaks about it. “So....it’s big.....Now how do we blow it up? There’s always a way to do that.” UNBELIEVABLE. If it’s such a tiring thing, and been done too much already, WHY PUT IT IN THE MOVIE?! I think I know why.....”Rhyming.” UUGGHH. You could rhyme, that’s fine. Make another ball to destroy, okay. But does it have to be another planet killer? Can’t it be something a little more subtle? I’m just saying! And the way they go about it all is so painful to watch. Oh, we gotta lower the shields from the inside, and blah blah blah. Aside from it being a planet on the outside, the inside is just another Death Star, while D’qar is just another Yavin 4. They look just like those! IS THERE NO CREATIVITY LEFT AT LUCASFILM? And how the heck does it even work? There’s no logic here. I mean, I know it’s in a fictional universe where the Force and hyperdrives exist, but still, you should at least explain it a LITTLE so it makes SOME sense. It sucks in a sun? Odd, but okay. (By the way, I had that same idea for a story I was gonna write, granted a little different. But now I can’t do that, ha) I mean, how does it not melt all the snow and heat everything up? I don’t know, but I can sort of get behind the idea, I GUESS. But isn’t it kind of pointless to suck in THE star of your solar system? So....what then? They just drift off into space, and can never fire? And didn’t they already have to suck in a sun before, when they fired at the Hosnian System? (And notice how it was day light when they fired, as opposed to later when they suck in the sun to prepare to fire, it gets dark) So are there twin suns in their system, too? Or is their sun an unlimited energy source, where they suck in a lot of energy, but the sun “recharges” after a while? If that makes any sense. Though sources say it is a mobile base. Perhaps when it’s done with their sun(s), (Hehe, I like rhyming) it drifts off into space until it comes into contact and starts to orbit another star? Then it can fire that? Though Wookiepedia says Starkiller has rocket ports or something to make it mobile. (Of course, take Wookiepedia with a grain of salt?) But how the heck do you take a whole planet out of its orbit like that? And wouldn’t everyone freeze to death? I don’t care how many heaters you have, yall are gonna be like Pluto all up in here. By the way, the cannon has got to be the size of a freaking continent! And are you telling me the ENTIRE planet is a base? That is a LOT of freaking people. Imagine Earth’s population all working under one military faction. Well, I imagine the planet didn’t house intelligent life before, and now there’s a bunch of First Order people there, but not like a planet sized population? I don’t know, okay, the whole thing is confusing. But needless to say, Starkiller Base wasn’t really needed. It was cool the first time (The Death Star, I mean) kinda lame the second time.....became a trope the third time. (Episode 1, with the droid control ship) and was just beating the dead horse the fourth time in The Clone Wars with the Malevolence. NOW, it’s just becoming BRUTAL. So predictable. I knew as soon as I saw it on the poster that it was gonna go bye bye by the end of the movie. I mean, at least let it stick around for the trilogy, perhaps. Make the destruction of it be a milestone, a cheerful, crucial moment that was hard for the good guys to finally overcome. But what we ultimately got was a “Here we go again” sort of thing, and here comes like, what? 12 fighters to defeat an entire militarized planet! Okay then.....

Now on to seeing the glass more half full. The way I like to see things. Call it denial, but I like to see the Resistance as a New Republic military operation. Obviously, canon says it’s a private military under Leia, but it does say the Republic supports it. (By the way, the canon EU says the Republic sees Leia as a war mongerer and is not listening to her warning about the First Order, so she creates her own army. But then in the movie, it says they do support her? Well which is it??) So a group of Republic volunteers band together to spy on the First Order. (Whom are a somewhat small extremist organization, and NOT another Empire) Snoke is basically a dark sider who dwelled in the unknown regions, and made a bargain with the First Order. “I can help you guys. If you let me lead you right now, I will give you lots of resources, and help you bring the New Republic to its knees. In return, I want help destroying Luke Skywalker, and ending the Jedi once and for all.” So much like when the Sith made a deal to work with the Trade Federation in Episode 1, Snoke and the Knights of Ren made a deal to mingle with the First Order and help lead them to victory. When the Hosnian System gets destroyed, the Republic isn’t wiped out, but simply crippled. Now, my hope is to see the Republic and Resistance band together to fight the First Order. That is my way of making this new era bearable.

All in all, it’s an OKAY, sort of entertaining movie. Visually amazing, but plot and such is pretty lame. The first half is alright for what it is but the latter half is just horrendous. I think I rate this movie.....a 5/10 lightsabers. Basically, average. I know it’s HERESY to say, but I really didn’t care for this movie. Seems to me, and please don’t get offended by this, that a lot of people are hyped on the nostalgia provided. Seeing the original cast again, the Millennium Falcon being chased by TIE Fighters, (Which was pretty meh to me) etc. But for me, personally, I really don’t like nostalgia. At least when it’s used as an excuse to be lazy in story telling. Nostalgia should come natural, not be forced. I don’t know about you, but I get my nostalgia by taking part in the original thing that is the cause of my nostalgia, if that makes sense. Like, if I’m gonna get nostalgia from watching the Millennium Falcon fly away, and TIEs pursuing, etc. in this case, then I watch the original trilogy itself. THEN, all those memories come and I enjoy it. For me, a movie is tied to when I see it. So this movie brings on memories from 2015, if anything, ha. Nostalgia does NOT make a movie any good, in my opinion. Notice how a lot of movies these days relies on their predecessors a little....TOO much. I guess that just happens in Hollywood, when you wait 20+ years to make a sequel, you feel the need to “reel in” the fans, and remake the first one. It’s a shame, too. Movies could be so much better than this. A lot of people don’t like rehashing, and rightfully so. But for some reason, when Star Wars does it, it’s okay? I mean, I know there are a LLOOTT of people on board with me here. They, too, don’t like the rehash....iness....But there are arguably MORE who do. Either they are blinded by nostalgia, like it because “Well it’s great for what it is and I don’t care,” or they like ANYTHING Disney throws their way. (Ever notice that? Disney can never do any wrong?) Even if it’s a company that people know is under Disney, it makes the experience better for them somehow. I don’t know how true any of that is, it’s just my theory. An observation. It kinda scares me a little. Seems like Disney has almost brainwashed the population, in a way. And the rate at which they are expanding, buying everything in sight....I mean, kind of creepy. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate Disney or anything. I’m just creeped out by them, and don’t like some decisions they make in regards to my favorite franchises. (Mainly being Star Wars) But since Disney practically has the female population in their grasps, I’m gonna have to come to acceptance with them, other wise, will I ever get married, ha. Honestly, if you like Disney, then good for you, I don’t mind. Even I do to some extent. I just don’t like some of their decision making, and some of their partly shady history. Perhaps I’m overthinking things, but that is my take on it all. But anyway, that is my in depth review, lol. Holy crap, this was long. Well, kudos to you if you stuck around. And thank you for letting me waste like, 15+ minutes of your life. You’re welcome.