ampwich-blog

[ampwich-blog]

Working with aspergers

So I felt like writing this to give you a peek into our lives. What it entails, and what goes on behind the scenes. This is NOT intended for sympathy, but merely, for education. I feel it is important for a little mental health awareness. Anyway, here we go....

Every day is a challenge. I am practically a child in a grown mans body in a few different ways. While still mature in the sense of morality and responsibility, etc. (Where it counts), I still have growing in other areas. Knowing certain things, finding the adult world boring or, even worse, SCARY. My mental comprehension and “speed” and accuracy of things. My lack of being able to sleep properly at night....My thoughts wandering without my controlling them, daydreaming and drifting who knows where. Fidgeting, etc.

My brain is always on. Even at night laying in bed trying to sleep, I can’t seem to sleep. (Unless I took sleeping pills and got off electronics for an hour prior, but even then it’s hard and takes a while) Which results in me being real tired the next day, and “out of it.” Especially if I have to get up real early the next day. Brain is always talking to itself, reassuring me, and thinking about weird stuff.

I have horrible social skills. I CANNOT make eye contact to save my life. It feels as though laser beams are piercing into me, or drilling into my soul. It puts more pressure that I must physically react a certain way, or do this and that....and while I’m thinking THAT, I can’t actually LISTEN to what the person is saying....

Making conversation...small talk. It’s SUPER hard for me. I wish so badly we could just go back to how when we were kids, we could just start PLAYING together, or talking about stupid stuff, or having a weird philosophical conversation, deep things needing no introduction process. Now as an adult, I cannot get passed “Hey how are you” and something stupid about the weather. I just can’t relate...and I don’t know what to say, so there are a lot of awkward silences and pauses. But I wish so bad I could have more to say to you, and we could talk openly and deeply about stuff that mattered, or played as kids...but none of that is socially acceptable...so here we are.

Needless to say, making friends is near impossible. (Unless I’m doing a task WITH them, and there are things to talk about)

I talk to myself a lot. Mainly mumbling to avoid the awkward silence around others. At work, I want them to know I am focused on what I am doing, and don’t want to leave the “door open” for some weird comment or question they may have that I can’t answer. Everywhere else, I’m just simply trying to avoid the awkward silence and let them know I’m not ignoring them on purpose, or something....I don’t know how to explain it.

My social anxiety. People can mistake me for rude, or perhaps even creepy, though I try not to be either. If I come across as either, however, I certainly don’t mean to be. And if I seem a little unapologetic, that’s because I am. I don’t want to have to constantly be on eggshells and deal with even MORE stress and anxiety than I already am. I want to be as comfortable in my own shoes as possible. I want to ease the burden, and live as normal a life as I can, happily. (Which I’ve gotten a lot better at. I’m finally at a place where I am happy and confident) If I felt the need to constantly apologize for the way I was born, I would not only feel worthless and like a burden, but I’d be exhausted, and not want to go to work, much less LIVE life....I just want to be me. I just want to live life.....I just want to do my job.

I’ve been through a lot of verbal abuse before. I don’t want to have to go through it again at work too.

On top of that, I deal with depression. Thinking a lot, “What is the point? Is all there is to life just....working, and maybe going to church on Sunday? Is that...IT?” It’s taken me a long time to get to the point where I am now; being OKAY. Okay with living life in the first place. Okay with getting a job and working with those high expectations over my head. OKAY with driving a car. OKAY with actually talking to people. (For the most part) Okay with potentially being in everyone’s way (And now that’s practically part of the job! Who knew THAT was going to be my life...) despite that being my worst fear ever. For the longest time, I wanted nothing to do with getting a job, as my anxiety wouldn’t allow it. “WHAT IF WHAT IF WHAT IF” was all I had going on in my head. Life seemed like a fast moving train that I had to JUMP ONTO, fully prepared to ride along, or STAY OFF. And the motivation wasn’t there.  Now that it is, it’s like people want to knock me down a lot. At least, it sometimes seems like that. (I’ve had to take a couple minutes to cry a few times) People can be mean....But I know they’re just having a bad day and need someone to take it out on....Customers and coworkers for example. (Most certainly not all, but a few here and there) They seem to be concerned about their experience or something. They expect me to know EVERYTHING about the store, even though I actually need time to learn it all....They expect me to have a quick response time, and be charismatic, to know what, when, and how to say things, and have a plan. I’m not superhuman, I’m not a computer....I’m just a person, like you. With his own struggles.

The point of this is to not gain attention or sympathy. (In fact, I really don’t want it....aawwkwardd)  I do not want you to feel sorry for me, or to put myself out there. The point; perspective. We need to remember that EVERYONE has their own life and experiences, and things they deal with behind the scenes. We need to keep an open mind. Perhaps there’s a reason this person is acting like this or doing that. Perhaps....they have aspergers. Perhaps....they are depressed. Or whatever else, you get the idea. “Perhaps....they have x, y, or z....or are going through x, y, or z.” You never know, and that’s the point. I encourage you, (and myself, to be honest) to live and act in such a way that EVERYONE you meet might have some handicapped something or other, or have something you don’t know about. Because people like me are TRYING. We are doing our best. We are not inconveniencing you or being rude on purpose. We are simply just trying to live life and get by. That’s why I, in turn, try my hardest to not let the rude people get to me. Because who knows what THEY are going through?

If not the classic WWJD....at least think to yourself; “Am I really in such a rush? What am I angry about? Am I in THAT much of a hurry? Are my expectations...my time, my feelings, my hopes for the outcome....all really more valuable than this human life in front of me?

[ampwich-blog]

Dealing with depression & anxiety

I’ve been dealing with a couple of horrible mental issues in recent years. It has made it hard to have a job, and tend to it. The feeling of hopelessness, how life is pointless....and will never get better. The fear of what others will think, how I might let them down, how I am unprepared and a failure. ETC. The deadline of having to be at work at a specific time, no exceptions is probably the most strenious aspect. Otherwise, once you’re there, it’s USUALLY generally smooth sailing. But then, if you work retail, there’s the CUSTOMERS. They can be a bit picky and needy, and have way too high expectations. If I don’t know where something is they are looking for, they question my intelligence or assume I’m not doing my best. Or, especially since the store is very small and gets crowded, the fact I’m always in peoples way, and they demand to be let through RIGHT THIS SECOND, impatient brats....Ahem, anyway....

This is me writing down my feelings, and letting it out. So I don’t have to bug my friends.....and make them think I’m whining or being needy. I want to come across as independent and strong, “normal.” I don’t want girls on my Facebook friends list to see my temporary despair and go “yikes, not him no thanks,” and there goes my chances with them forever.

The amount of overthinking I’ve done is overwhelming. What if, what if, what if....Recently I’ve been way happier and learned to just not give a rip what ANYONE, including girls, thinks of me. It’s worked wonders. But there are still those times where I fear that my anxiety attacks will ruin my future. What if I need to call in “sick” because I’m panicking or feeling near suicidal (Without actually being suicidal, since that may be an exception) and they see that as an excuse, like I am not giving it my all. Then future businesses see that history of mine and don’t want to hire me, thus my future is down the crapper? Again, overthinking, but it’s a fear of mine. How do I go about listing my work history and not making it look bad? How do I go about having a job and retaining my sanity? Seems like I’m trapped. Because without a job, I have nothing to do and I go crazy because of how my life is going nowhere and I don’t get out the house very much. But when I do have a job, I go crazy because of the expectations and fast pace...ness of it. Feels like there’s no escape from this capitalist society. No escape from money. It’s like an oxygen supply or something, you have to worry about it running out for survival....I wish there was a place of peace that I can go (Here on Earth), where I can just LIVE and RELAX, no fear of money or crazy expectations or anything running out. Just...live for a while, and just...breathe....

Life feels like a fast moving train and if I don’t jump on board and am not 101% on and moving along with it, then I’m not on it at all and am screwed. Seems like everything is a rush, everyone is busy and in a hurry, and if I’m gonna have a life, I need to be in their way or move quickly with the traffic somehow....

[ampwich-blog]

Avengers: Infinity War review!

I finally watched the movie last night, and boy, (Or girl. EQUAL OPPORTUNITY!) was it a crazy ride. Let’s start off with non spoilers. Keep in mind during this review, I have never read the comics. This is JUST me as a geeky movie goer, so keep that in mind.

Lots and lots of action! A bit too much cgi everywhere, but I honestly don’t care about that sort of thing, personally. I found it awesome! (The action, I mean)  Lots of humor. Especially since the Guardians of the Galaxy come along....oh, man....insufferable quipping, lol. But it worked. The funny moments were hilarious. Basically, it was a typical Marvel movie in that regard.

However, it was quite dark! Aside from the humor and action, etc. this isn’t your regular MCU movie. Oh, no! This movie actually has stakes....and consequences. No tropes of “oh he/she died....but SURPRISE (not) THEY ARE BACK!” Nope! When it’s over, it’s over! At least, as far as we know....But yeah, I’ll just leave it at that. 

Thanos, the villain, isn’t your typical one off villain. He is LEGIT, and dangerous! He is also not black-and-white evil, either. He actually has a sort of “good side” to him. There’s a reason he does what he does, and he has some humanity (Well....whatever species he is, lol) in him. He believes what he is doing is for the greater good, and that makes him terrifying, and a good villain.

The heroes....lots of them! Not EVERYONE we’ve been introduced to, however....sadly....1 or 2 perhaps aren’t involved, but most of them are there. The way it cuts to what those guys are doing over there, and what these guys are doing over here, etc. is pretty well done, in my opinion. 

We also get to see some things with our own eyes, things we only heard about in previous movies, which I thought was pretty neat. Ruined the mystery a little, but hey, who cares, it’s cool to see and put a “face to the name,” so to speak.

Lots of emotional moments. Brace yourself! If you’re a geeky crier, you may be shedding some tears. I mean, I can’t promise anything. I didn’t cry at all, but that’s because I’m stone cold on the outside, unintentionally so, lol. Also I must mention, I don’t want to over sell it and raise your expectations more than they should be. So just know....may be emotional for you. Don’t hype that up, just know that....lol.

Some observations I had, things here or there I found odd...but I’ll leave that for the spoiler section.

Quite an ending, I must say. Definitely sort of a cliff hanger. There better be a part 2, I tell you what! lol. You may leave the theater going “WHAT THE HECK?” But also “Say whaaaa??” Maybe a little “I....er....well....um....I....hmmm...” It’s quite intense, and leaves you with loads of questions that we’ll only have to wait and see to find out the answers. Unless, of course, you read the comics, I guess.... :p

So, what to rate....I guess I’ll give it a 9/10 Infinity Stones. (There were 4 more of them?? Nah, just a rating, go with it....) Best Marvel movie ever? I’m not sure yet, for myself. Probably yeah, simply for the fact we get mostly everyone in 1 movie, and get a lot of cool action. This is what we’ve been waiting 6 years to see! Some, 10 years....So to finally get it is....oddly underwhelming. It’s over....the thing we were waiting for....it’s done, passed....The movie is made....odd feeling. But hey, it was awe to the some, yo dawg homie. Okay, I’ll stop. But yeah, not sure I would call it the BEST. But in my opinion, I think it’s definitely, at the very least, in my top 5, for sure. I’ll let you decide for yourself where it falls. So...why you reading this review, then? :p

Nah, you’re alright....please don’t leave....

So yeah, I recommend seeing it. Especially if you are a comic fan, or geek in general like me.

Okay, now for *SPOILERS!* YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

(Weird, btw, how everyone is trying so hard to avoid spoilers, and they are all like “Wow, they are keeping everything so under wraps.” Etc. IT’S A COMIC BOOK MOVIE, not Star Wars! lol. That’s like avoiding spoilers for The Hobbit, or a Bible movie, or something. Idk, at any given rate, don’t be a butthead and spoil it, regardless!)

EVERYONE DIES!!! Nah, jk...

Dang, the Asgardians didn’t even get to make it to Earth! How sad. It totally robbed us of seeing how that would play out! I wanted to know how all the Asgardians would react to the people and culture of our society, ha. Oh well! 

Thanos and his minions can be quite savage. We later learn that he sees it as “liberating” them, but why does he feel the need to slaughter needlessly? I guess he’s just crushing whoever puts up a fight, ridding these races/worlds of the bad apples, and trying to “cure them?” IDK. As for the Asgardians, I guess they kind of fought back to keep him away from the space stone, so that would be why the genocide happened with them....

NO, LOKI!!!! Eh, okay, I’m over it now. Wait, 1 more....NO HEIMDALL! WHYYYYYYYYY! Alright, I’m good.

Speaking of the devil, why doesn’t Heimdall teleport Thor, as well? Or can he only do that with 1 person? Also, what even WAS that, that he did? Anyway, there goes the possibility of him housing the soul stone....would’ve made a lot of sense, too.

So, back on Earth...I must say, that all escalated rather quickly. Also, why did Hulk happen to land at Doctor Strange’s place? Seems awfully convenient. Though then again, so does Peter Parker happening to take a field trip and seeing the chaos from the window. Btw, his friend is not helpful, lol.

So anyway, I was disappointed to see no “No s***, Sherlock” line between Robert Downey Jr.’s character, and Benedict Cumberbatch’s, lol.

Is that....small, portable Halo ring?? (No but really, what was it?)

Nano tech? What....how....IDK, seems like magic at this point, lol. Cool, but odd.

So, we finally get to see the Iron Spider suit, cool!

Doctor Strange was right, why did they just deliver the stone to Thanos? (For all they knew) BRUH! 

Groot is a teenager now. Priceless!

Scarlet Witch has an American accent now, apparently. Anyone else notice that? Kind of weird....and she changed back to her original accent later on, sort of. Reminds me of Princess Leia, lol. And her having a relationship with Tony Stark’s created android...SO ODD. I know it’s comic accurate, but the comics having that to begin with is what’s weird! lol. Oh well, just goes to show how lonely she must have been, especially in light of her losing her other half...(R.I.P. Quicksilver. We hardly knew ya....) 

Not what I thought they meant when they said Thor’s hammer was forged in the heart of a dying star....but alrighty, ha. That works....pretty epic to see, anyway. Which goes with what I mentioned earlier in the spoiler free section, how things we only heard about before we get to see with our own eyes. Mystery ruined, but again, cool, anyway! (Same can be said for these Star Wars story movies, am I right? xD)

So THAT’S where the Infinity Gauntlet came from!

Why didn’t Thor just use his Avatar-spirit-state lightning, like he did last time? Just shoot it from your hands, dude.....since apparently that’s a thing....

Also, that dwarf dude, though....

WHY, Doctor Strange, would you give up the Time Stone just because this dude who you JUST met that day, and you even said yourself you wouldn’t hesitate in letting die, was maybe being killed? BRUH! Also, where WAS the Time Stone, anyway? If his necklace was a fake, then where was it? He just randomly summons it out of the blue....WHAT EVEN.

Wait, Xandar is destroyed?? Does that mean the Nova Corps along with it? NOOVVAAAA!! My favorite Marvel superhero, don’t give up on me now!!

Seeing Bruce Banner in the Hulkbuster because he couldn’t Hulk out....I lost it! So funny, but so cool at the same time. Just like the movie in general.

I find it odd how Gamora just gave up the location of the Soul Stone. I thought for a second, “Wait, she isn’t THAT stupid....She’s pulling a Leia and telling him the wrong location....right?” Nope, real location! Gg Gamora,....gg....

RED SKULL! I knew we would be seeing him again! Since he was just transported to the other end of space, after all. But how did he live so long? And why is he floating and...having all this knowledge about the Soul Stone, and etc.?

Also, the Soul Stone wasn’t in Heimdall, OR Adam Warlock after all....bummer. I STILL don’t understand where it came from, by the way. Why didn’t Red Skull just do what Thanos did to obtain it, anyway? I guess no one was around for him to love? IDK.

STAR-LORD, YOU IDIOT! Yall were RIGHT THERE! lol.

We were JUST introduced to Wakanda, too. IT WAS SO COOL! :(

Marvel’s take on Left Behind?? What even was that all about? Thanos just snapped his fingers (Wherever the heck he is now) and people disappear at random? WHAT?

Bye bye everyone!....? But Spidey....and Black Panther....COME ON, we JUST got them! lol. Also Groot, WHYYYY?

CAPTAIN MARVEL! But where the heck is Ant-Man during this whole shebang?....

Alright, so a little more about Thanos. I was looking forward to seeing his powers with the Infinity Stones and the different things he can do, how it would all work. But seems like he mostly just shot a bunch of lasers from his hand....(Which stone does that, btw?? Just....that’s what they can all kinda do on the side?) Kind of disappointing, but the way he used the Reality Stone and Time Stones was pretty neat. Would have been interesting to see what the Soul Stone does. Space Stone just teleports wherever, right? Well how was his minions able to just do that all on their own? Do they have Strange’s powers too, or something? I mean, Squidward seemed to.....

So yeah, like I said earlier.... 9/10 Infinity Stones. (THERE ARE 10 NOW, just go with it!) GO SEE IT!

[ampwich-blog]

My thoughts on gun control

Okay, so this is a little more controversial than I normally do, but I figured hey, why not? I feel like I have a little something to say on this topic that I want to get out there, so might as well. So in light of all these shootings lately, a big debate has risen up: What should we do to prevent more of this from happening? On one side, they say the solution is to ban all assault style weapons. On the other, they say the solution is to arm the teachers, and help the mentally ill, or whatever. (That is way over simplifying it, but my description in a nutshell, let’s keep this moving along) 

Now to my opinion. I’m very bipartisan on most topics, and this one is no exception. I think the solution is somewhere in the middle. I agree, and disagree, with both on most things, and yet again, I find it is the same here. I think banning things isn’t the solution. Call me conservative all you want (Despite it not being true) but I think we have the right to bear arms. (Just keep reading until the end, it’s not another conservative post, trust me) The counter argument is you don’t need something crazy like an AR-15 to go hunting. But the thing is, it’s NOT ABOUT HUNTING. It’s about keeping the government in check. “Well, the government never has done anything before.” Yeah, BECAUSE the people had guns! Not to mention, people have the right to defend themselves and their families. 

However, that being said, I do agree with the left in that it is not that common to have bad guys break into your home and want to kill people. However, doesn’t hurt to be safe rather than sorry, for the rare occasion that does happen.

Now, for the conservative argument against gun control. They say that bad guys don’t follow gun laws. Which is....well, true, but it goes deeper than that. Not everyone we need to take guns away from is some evil terrorist gang person already owning one, and looking up and down the streets for who their next victim will be. This fantasy bad guy just isn’t at the forefront of the problem here. The main issue, the biggest threat, isn’t that. Just look at all these shootings. What “kind” of person (I hate referring to people in groups, but for lack of a better way to put it) are all these recent shooters? Mentally ill people. (Not to say all mentally ill people are murderous crazy people by any means. I myself am mentally ill, in fact, with aspergers) They tend to be young adults, living with their parent(s), whom are gun owners. They know where the family gun(s) is, and get their hands on it. THAT is the big “baddie” threat here. And how do we prevent those mentally ill people from getting a gun to kill? Stopping that family from getting a gun to begin with! I’m JUST saying! A little devils advocate on the part of the left. However, not sure I entirely agree with that, necessarily. 

I think better backround checks are definitely needed, and better laws. Heck, a lot of them already exist, so what is the problem? Clearly SOMETHING isn’t working here. So either be more strict on already existing laws, or make new ones. That being said, laws aren’t the only thing that will stop these shootings from happening. The right does have a point in regards to that. Those who ALREADY have guns before said law is written and enforced will have them, so.....yeah....Also, guns may be merely a tool of a wider problem (Human decisions and morals) but they are tools for the sole purpose of KILLING, as the left says. Now, I agree with the right that they are merely tools, used for good OR evil, as with anything. However, just think about it....No murderer is gonna want to use a knife, and be able to pull that off. Just picture yourself as a murderer....you want to go into a place and kill as many people as possible. What will you use? A knife? Well, with a knife, you’re only gonna get so far. They can see you from a ways away, and flee and get help right there, as a knife is a melee weapon. Or, let’s say, MAYBE you seriously injure or even kill 1 or 2 people....but then you get pinned to the ground quickly, or counter attacked and overwhelmed. Let’s face it, a knife won’t do squat! So no one is going to commit these murders with a knife!! They’re going to want something they can use from afar, something they can hide behind, and not have to worry about getting too close, and being in danger of being taken down, and take out many people in a matter of seconds. So obviously, guns ARE partially an issue here. 

They also say arm the teachers. I would have to MAJORLY disagree here. It would only add to the chaos! Do you remember being in school? How upset or even crazy some teachers can get? They are under a lot of pressure, and I imagine stress comes into play. Imagine how much you HATED being in their class, how strict they were, how angry or full of hate they could be, how much they disliked you, etc. And even if YOU didn’t have that experience, doesn’t mean others don’t. Now, imagine those teachers WITH A GUN! Yeah....not so great sounding, is it? Easy for us adults to say, not having to be in school anymore, and only talking about kids going from afar, in the comfort of our jobs and homes. Just put yourself in their shoes, and REMEMBER your experience, if it is at all relatable to the situation I am describing. Yeah....not good. Not to mention, in the situation there IS a shooting, it cause a few issues. The H3H3 podcast on YouTube had a few good points on the subject. 1. The police/swat/whoever is showing up to deal with it has to be at full alert. They are checking room to room, and WILL SHOOT if they see someone with a gun. They have to be careful, and prepared, and they don’t know the shooter from Adam, so they see a gun, they shoot. Everyone in the school is told to stay low, keep their hands down, and definitely don’t hold anything like even a phone, as it may be mistaken for a gun. Well, I don’t know what’s what in regard to that, correct me all day for I care, but whatever, DETAILS! YOU GET THE FREAKING POINT, RIGHT?? Not to mention, it would put an unbelieveable weight upon the shoulders of those teachers. People all over the world would criticize them for not having done MORE. They had a gun, and instead they “hid in the classroom like a bunch of COWARDS and did nothing!” See what I mean? I mean, heck, people right now are ranting and absolutely tearing at some cop dude who stood outside, and didn’t go in, as it is. Now imagine if teachers had guns! People would bite their heads off for not doing more! They could lose their jobs, their reputation, ETC. all because they just HAD to have a gun “just in case!” Not a good idea! 

Now what I do think could be a potentially good idea is having security there. People who are trained, and ready, and dressed in a way that tells incoming officers these guys are friendlies. Obviously, people they would know, perhaps cops in the local area themselves, guarding the school. And they’d be in communication with each other, so they would know they aren’t the shooter. Regardless of what you think needs to be done, SOMETHING needs to be done, that’s for sure! Children shouldn’t have to go to a place (They don’t wanna go in the first place and are forced to, mind you!!) where the fear of someone busting in and going on a gun rampage is justified. That just isn’t right!!

Now for the liberal argument in favor of gun control. They say guns themselves are the problem. And, while my whole rant just now SORT OF proves this, I guess, there is way more to the problem than merely guns. And that....is mental illness. You got to think to yourself, what is the cause of wanting to murder in the first place? What drives someone to want to take peoples’ lives? There’s usually a motive of some sort, on top of the mental illness. 

I think the MAIN solution here is to help those with mental illnesses. Better healthcare, for sure. Instead of saying, “Oh, you don’t have enough money, or good insurance? Screw off and die.” We need to take care of the mentally ill! Not only medical wise, but also as a society, we should seek to be their friend. Perhaps they have trouble making friends, or are shut out from the world. They need people they can lean on, trust, do things with, talk to! And they need more hope, and opportunity as well. I think, if I’m not mistaken, the shooter of the recent tragedy in Florida was upset that the high school wouldn’t accept him since he was older than 18. And I can totally relate to that. Because I never went to public high school. (Homeschooled and GED, long story) I never got to experience ANYTHING that comes with being a high schooler. No prom, no dating, no clubs, no direction for upcoming adult life, NOTHING. And just thinking about that really stings......Knowing all my friends, and everyone else get to have this once in a lifetime experience, and lots of opportunities, and I won’t.....Simply because I am too old, and already “graduated.” (GED) It depresses me to no end, and it creates a sense of hopelessness. I only have one life, and it’s forever been ruined because of a few dumb decisions by me, and my parents. (And the education systems stupid rules) Now, I’m not going to go on some murder rampage, of course. I would never dream of such a thing. All I’m saying is I can relate to the guy, and what he might have been feeling. I think that is crap! We need to not be so “SCREW YOU, your life is already over and we won’t do anything to help, snooze you lose, sucks to suck.” It is so unnecessary too, the amount of hopelessness we have made as a society.

So to recap: 1. We need stricter gun laws, and better attention to WHO is buying a gun, and what their history is in regards to mental health. Everything else is regulated, so why not guns? I think Trevor Noah, as much as I disagree with the dude on most topics, had a point in saying, “If you are old enough to get shot at, you are old enough to have an opinion about it.” BANNING isn’t really the solution, I don’t think. But definitely better attention and laws regarding who is getting them. 2. Better care for the mentally ill. Providing them with medicine and proper medical help to treat them, as well as teaching them how to cope. Also, we should take the time to be their friend, as everyone needs a social life, and people to talk to, lean on, and connect with. As someone who has struggled with aspergers, and not having a social life available to me, it can get pretty hectic in my brain. The depression is real! The loneliness....the despair....the emptiness.....the feeling of worthlessness, and being in limbo. I find it is far too easy to be shut out and lose your mind. It is not good! Also, more opportunity and hope. We should say “Yes, you CAN come back to school!” or even have some schooling available for adults, and have them mingle with others their age to make a good social setting as well. Have people to give them direction for their adult lives, show them what the heck to do, where to go, etc. Just everything one needs to know to “adult.” Give them what they so desperately crave! A high school experience, or whatever PutThingHere they need/want so badly that is within the realm of moral reason.

If you can, I would encourage you to reach out to your neighbors, and those around you. Especially if you know someone is mentally ill, be there for them, and take the time to be their friend. You might find it will help them....and the world, in turn. Now, I don’t mean to put a weight on your shoulders at all. I understand how that can be overwhelming. I myself struggle with social anxiety, and just have little to no charisma, or the know how to talk to people. Also, if you are young, you got to be careful, as you never know with some people. So, no worries if you are socially awkward or anxious, or whatever, But if you CAN, if you ARE one of those people with no problems of talking to people, then do so! And if you aren’t, try and think of ways you can help, and see what you can do. Even the smallest acts of kindness can go a long way!

Anyway, that is just my two sense. Agree or disagree, I still love you (In a non creepy way) as a fellow human being, and wish all the best. Let’s pray that WHATEVER will end up being done, that it will be enough to change for the better.

[ampwich-blog]

Why does God allow bad things to happen?

Question of the ages. The only answer I’ve ever really gotten is “free will.” God wants you to want to follow his will, but he won’t force you. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t seem like a satisfactory answer to me. FREE WILL? What about things that happen AGAINST our will? Like, for example, (This may get graphic) if someone is raped, or even murdered. They didn’t CHOOSE to get raped or murdered, right? And if God has a plan for each of our lives, does that mean it can be so easily tampered with by other humans? God’s plan for you is dependant on the mercy of others, how they are feeling that day? “Well, I did have a lot of plans for you, you were gonna go on to do wonderful things and lead a great life, but that person decided to kill you, sorry, who am I to interfere with his desires?” What kind of crap is that?! So the world is just a free for all, survival of the fittest, and God is watching from his throne, enjoying a bag of popcorn? I don’t think so! There has to be something more to it than that. Another common answer involves good vs bad. “If bad things never happened, then we wouldn’t know what good was, and if pain was never felt, then we would never know what pleasure was.” So basically, we would take things for granted? I guess that makes SOME sense, but that is still a pretty weak answer. What about the original perfect world God had initially planned, before the “fall of man?” Or what about the kingdom of Heaven, when we get to go there forever and experience greatness without the presence of anything bad? Certainly those didn’t/don’t involve taking things for granted. I have a theory, and granted, it has a few potential holes in it as well. But hey, it’s SOMETHING. At least, it’s better than the “free will” argument.

So, without further a due, let’s get into my theory. You recall seeing those movies and tv shows involving time travel? Where, theoretically, if you were to go back in time and mess with ANYTHING at all, even move a pebble a few inches, or WHATEVER, it could jeaportize the entire future. If this doesn’t happen, then that and that can never happen, so everything will be different. I think it’s probably similar to that. God, being the creator and master of time itself, I imagine, has a birds eye view of the timeline. He sees the past, present, and future, what did happen, what is currently happening, and what will happen. (So I imagine) Perhaps he allows bad things to happen so to ultimately get the better outcome. For example, in Back to the Future, when Marty went back in time and met his young father, he was going to get hit by a car, but Marty pushed him out of the way, and got hit himself, thus, in his mind at least, “saving him.” However, the dude who ran into him turned out to be his grandfather. (If I recall correctly?) He took an unconscience Marty, who was taken care of by his, wait for it, YOUNG MOTHER. Turns out, that was (supposed to be) how his mom and dad met! But because he had robbed his father of being in that bad accident, he (His father) didn’t get to meet the love of his life, and thus, his future kids would never be born. Of course, Marty ends up saving the day and fixing that problem he had caused, and joining them together in another way later on. But that just goes to show that sometimes bad things can be used for good ultimately. I think that is the reason God allows bad things to happen. He, the one true Timelord, sees the future and all the possible outcomes, and makes sure the best one comes to pass. So back to my original, horrible example. If said person was never raped, then they would never have their son, whom God uses in a tremendous way and turns out to be a great leader someday. Or perhaps the person who was raped now has that experience, and as horrible as it is, can now touch the lives of others through their testimony, and help other people. Granted, if God never let ANYONE be raped, then said person would never need to help them. I get that....However, you also have to wonder....if they never had been raped, and don’t have this shared experience to bond through and grow friendships and overcome trials with, what would have become of their lives? Not saying they would be nobodys by any means, don’t get my words wrong. But I’m just saying, maybe it was the better outcome that they would get together and make new friends, and ultimately have a unique, fulfilling life.....Since, you know, a LOT of good can be done when people unite as one, and have a common goal in mind. If something ticks you off, or saddens you, especially something you relate to on a personal level, and you join with other alike individuals, you can knock down a lot of barriers in your path! Just like someone drowning, even if they aren’t that physically fit, has a LOT of strength as they panic, and can easily drag someone twice their size under the water, so too can people effected by something and motivated for a cause achieve a lot of good. (Hopefully that made sense, I tend to suck at explaining things) Using a bad experience brought by evil, and turning that into something good. The ultimate slap in the face to the devil! Or if someone gets murdered, (As bad as that is, and God is surely majorly against such an action) then their life they had is heard by millions, and they learn their story and it reaches them and touches their lives. Or perhaps, the grieving loved ones (Just a random scenario) meet mutual friends at the funeral or whatever, and they make new lifelong friends/partners, and they go on to do great things. I don’t know, [PutThingHere], but you get the point. Without a bad thing that happens, a good, and potentially better outcome could never come to pass. Thus, the timeline remains in tact. God is the master of this big puzzle, and knows how to fit everything together very neatly. It’s a huge, complicated thing. A big ball of wibbley wobbly timey wimey stuff. The way things can randomly connect in a big spiderweb-like fashion is crazy amazing. Just think about it....maybe that’s why YOU exist to begin with; because bad things had happened in the lives of your predecessors that ultimately led to you being born. And now, God can use you to do great things that otherwise wouldn’t have been achieved, and bettered humanity. 

Now, to address the big hole in my theory. Does that mean God doesn’t have a plan for everyone? Like, if someone gets murdered at a young age, for example, did God not have anything big planned for them? Their life was unnecessary in the grand scheme of things? Since God allowed them to die before really achieving much, then obviously God didn’t have much use of them. So that would mean, essentially, that they were created just to die tragically. But on the other hand, if this theory isn’t true, then that would mean mere mortal men/women can alter God’s plans.....That he had something for you, but DARN IT, someone decided to murder you....so OH WELL, looks like God’s plan for you was foiled! So I guess pick which philosophy makes the most sense, I don’t know. But anyway, that was just my two sense. I just choose to believe God has everything under control, and I put my trust in that. Because otherwise, I would go crazy and be fearful, overthinking everything. But fear is not a way to live, now is it. God, this life and all the meanings, all the happenings....it’s all too much to grasp and really put in a box of simple explanation. So I just throw my hands in the air, and say, “Well, God, let your will be done. Because I have no dang clue what is what, and why this or that.”

The Bible even confirms this. Apparently, it is a SIN to NOT put your trust in God, and give him all your worries. (Noteable verses include 1 Peter 5:7, Phillipians 4:6, and Proverbs 3:5) I mean, it only makes sense; why worry about what you can’t control? And why be unhappy because of it? Do you ever have a plan, or surprise, and someone keeps questioning you about it, and it becomes harder to keep that surprise or plan in tact because of it? You have someone’s best interest at mind but they keep fighting you on it so it becomes harder to do the....thing or whatever? Probably similar to that. God’s like, “Just let me work and quit fighting me.” I don’t know, I think I may have just gone a bit off topic and rambled.....I tend to do that a lot.....

So in conclusion; God is the irl Doctor. Only a lot less clumsy..... (Dodges incoming tomatoes from angry Whovians)

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The First Order didn’t destroy the Hosnian System, they were just capturing it! #StarWars

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SPOILER review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Alright, I’m just gonna dive into spoilers and go all out. So if you haven’t seen this movie, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

My thoughts coming out of the theater: WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED? By far, the WEIRDEST Star Wars movie ever! It made me feel like I was on an acid trip or some crap. All psychedelic and what not.....It didn’t help that I hadn’t gotten much good sleep prior, either. I had kept putting off seeing the movie until a day I was more AWAKE. But I decided to get it over with and just go see it already. And boy, is it a weird experience.....I had to actually pinch myself once to make sure it was all real and wasn’t some crazy dream. It is real....WHAT THE HECK. Rian Johnson, Lucasfilm,.....yall need Jesus, lol.

Anyway, let us actually begin.....

The title crawl......The main theme is better this time around. Correct me if I’m wrong, but it’s actually the theme used in the prequels. (At least, that’s what I could have swore my ears heard) Or at least, an updated version of that same tune, if that makes sense. The scenario the crawl introduces us to is absolutely horrible, in my opinion. The First Order are now in total control?? The Resistance are seriously just another rebellion? REALLY? They legit say it straight up in the crawl, and like a dozen times in a movie....THEY ARE REBELS. UGH.....so much for that good New Republic action.....

The way the movie starts off is pretty neat. I don’t quite remember it, but I do know it showed a bunch of Resistance ships, and panned down to D’Qar. Pretty cool, and I am glad they didn’t just do another star destroyer opening. I was a bit nervous it was just gonna rehash the original trilogy in that aspect.

The bombers leave the planet just as their base is blown away. (Well, I guess destroying a Death Star to save their base in the nick of time AGAIN was pretty pointless) While the ships are cool, they don’t do a whole lot as they just get destroyed all on the spot.....We only see 1 do ANYTHING, and all it does is destroy a frigate (Which has super lasers.....ugh, more super weapons?) before it, too, is blown away. (A lot of luck and chance involved in that whole scene, too) Well alrighty then.....

“This is Poe Dameron of the Republic fleet.” I got chills! I was like, “YEAH!!” “The Republic is gone, Rebel scum,” says Hux. (Something along those lines) I was like “AW, COME ON!” The conversation between Poe and Hux over the intercom was alright, but a little too comedic for a Star Wars movie. But that aside, it was pretty neat and funny. Poe makes a remark about Hux’s mom or something....kind of odd for Star Wars, but still legit, I suppose. Pretty funny moment, anyway. “Can...you hear me?” (Hux would have done a good job working for Verizon) Again, a little too silly, but oh well, fun moment. Hux is tossed around by Snoke (Who had a huge face hologram) from who knows how far away, which felt very rehashy of the Empire days. It took Vader, being the one who communicated with directly and commanded the officers.....and the Emperor, who is a scar faced dark sider who is the leader.....and basically combines those aspects to make Snoke. The First Order really IS another Empire. (And the Resistance really is another Rebellion) They totally act like it in the movie. UGH!!! More on all that stuff later.

They then go on this space chase with loads of First Order capital ships after this 1 Resistance ship and it’s support ships. (Man, the Resistance is WAY smaller than we imagined! And the First Order, likewise, is way bigger!) The whole movie basically revolves around the First Order ships going after the Resistance ships, since apparently the First Order has this new technology that allows them to track ships through hyperspace. (Getting some JJ Abrams’ Star Trek reboot vibes over here.....) So they basically just chase them until they will run out of fuel.....that was more or less the entire movie. Disappointing, yet alright at the same time. I don’t know how to feel about all this......

Finn and Rose go on this weird side quest to do.....THINGS. I honestly forgot what they went to do.....but it had something to do with this key or whatever to Snoke’s ship. They go to Canto Bight, this casino city. Which I thought was gonna be the Cloud City/Kamino of this movie, but apparently not too much, as there isn’t a bunch of landing platforms. The whole city is sort of a big circle-ish platform, SORT OF....so I guess it rhymes in that a little....The horse-thing riding was a bit lame. SO MUCH CGI! SO MUCH SILLY GEORGE LUCAS HUMOR! AAAHHHHH!!!! They had, in the process of running away from the police, freed a bunch of animals. (Basically, mirroring those horse races in real life. The track, the animals in stalls, the rich people betting.....the whole 9 yards) I am told (I was going to the bathroom at this point in the film, as I didn’t care too much about what was going on, and had to pee, lol) that Rose removes a saddle off of one of the creatures and says something like, “NOW our mission is complete.” THAT’S why SHE wanted to go? To save a bunch of “abused” animals? WHAT ABOUT THE SLAVE CHILDREN?! Screw them, I guess.....they’re not animals able to be ridden to escape. So basically, they just USED a bunch of animals for their own needs sake, and called THAT heroic. LOL, what......

Now, about the characters...

Speaking of Finn, he is much more chill in this movie. He was the in-your-face comic relief (Despite his tragic backstory) in the last movie, which I really disliked about his character. But I was pleasantly surprised to see how they treated his character in this movie. He blended in nicely, and was on the same “level” as the other characters. Toward the end, he decides to sacrifice himself to save his friends in the big hanger....place....on Crait. He is flying a ski speeder and going to ram into the big cannon.....I was like “NOO, FINN, NOOOO!” (I actually cared about his character! I’m shocked, too!) But here comes his new lover, Rose, to crash into him and save the day. Kind of ruined the moment, sort of, but oh well, at least he lives!.....? Rose just compromised the Resistance forces to save her crush.....interesting.....and in turn, they will be CRUSHED....ha. But I guess it ultimately all worked out in the end....sort of.....Finn’s sacrifice would have saved more lives though, and been a meaningful, heroic death. But you know.....this movie just isn’t about that life.....heroic, perfect opportunity deaths, what’s that, right? More on that later.

Rose is OKAY, I guess.....though a little crazy. I thought that was her in that bomber in the beginning, but apparently that was her sister. What up with those necklaces, though? Looked like 2 halves of the Rebel emblem, but it didn’t have the middle thing sticking up....basically a big U.....lol, I don’t know. Whatever it was, it looked pretty cool. Reminded me of the real life fan necklaces of the Rebel emblem in half, one side saying “I love you,” the other, “I know.” (AAWWEEE how romantic) This one in the movie, though, of course wasn’t a romantic thing, more like a sibling....bond....thing. By the way, I like how DJ later takes it, in this seemingly desperate situation of barter, but later gives it back, because turns out he just needed it as a conductor for a second, ha.

That new dude, DJ or whatever, is an interesting character. He’s this alcoholic (??) guy who somehow manages to escape jail (Along with Finn and Rose) and make a very not-so-clean getaway. (I mean, seriously....those horses went through walls like 3 times.....Which, by the way, the physics in this movie just defy logic, but more on that later) He turns out to be a traitor and sell them out to the First Order for them good credits....which was a bit odd and not done that well, but it is what it is, I guess. So long, DJ, we hardly knew ya. 

Poe and BB8 are alright in the movie. Poe seems to be this hot head who can’t seem to take orders well, and BB8 seems to show off more of his tools he’s got hidden inside that little sphere body of his. How is all that even possible, anyway? ALL those “fingers” and crap, on top of what was already in there, like that lighter he uses for thumbs up, etc.....How can all that fit in him? Eh, whatever. Poe also meets Rey for the first time (”OH YEAH, they haven’t met yet!” we all realize) which is pretty cool. Yeah.....that’s about it as far as he is concerned.

That new commander lady.....what’s-her-face.....I forgot her name. But anyway.....her character is alright, but kinda lame. She has this whole weird plan that is for the good of the Resistance, yet she acts like it’s this big secret and keeps Poe and everyone else in the dark, making us think she is this traitor person. (Kinda like that Jedi dude in The Clone Wars series) Which, honestly, would have made a way more interesting story. But nope, just a “good guy” with communication problems......The way she goes out, though, is AMAZING! We never seen anything like it. The ship crashing into the bad guys ships by light speed.....slicing through it all like a butter knife....making science question itself as the First Order’s fleet is pretty much obliterated in a weird, stunning, Fruit Ninja fashion. THAT is probably my favorite scene.....However, it should have been Leia who sacrificed herself. It would have been a perfect send away to her character. 

Leia.....She is quite underwhelming in this movie. She does little to nothing....which is a real shame, considering the actress, Carrie Fisher, has now passed away. :( Her last time on the big screen, she didn’t get to do much.....which is very sad and unfortunate. She does not die in this movie, when there was a few opportunities to do so that would have ended the character and done it justice! She could have gone out in a blaze of glory! That should have been her on the Raddius....Whatever-It’s-Called ship! And knowing her character, she would have stubbornly refused to let someone else sacrifice themselves, when she full well could have done so herself. But no.....she’s just like, “Yeah, alright, sure. Good knowing you,” after being convinced way too easily, and she just kinda escapes with everyone else. Before that, (Sorry, this is a bit out of order) she drifted off into space after the bridge was blown up. (Which, by the way, how is it just in tact later in the movie as if that explosion never happened? Am I missing something here? Did I see that right?) That was ALSO a good opportunity to kill her off. (But NO, she’s just still alive and they will have to explain her absence in Episode IX now, seeing as how Carrie Fisher is no longer with us) And what the heck happened there? She just floats in space, (Reminded me of that moment from the Guardians of the Galaxy movie) for a good few seconds, her skin glowing or whatever, and then she manages to use the Force, being all Superman-like, to get back to the ship. ??? WHAT?? Apparently, you can do that with the Force; attract yourself like a magnet to a location.....I shook my head in utter disbelief at that part. I was like “WHAT THE FRICK? BULLCRAP!” To quote Han: “That’s not how the Force works!” I’m sure many of you felt the same way. Did she pull the ship closer to herself, perhaps? No momentum to push herself forward, like all the characters in this universe had to do previously. Just.....WWOOOOOOSSSHHH, steps inside. WELL AIN’T THAT CONVENIENT?

Luke is AWFUL in this movie. He just went to that island to DIE?? He turned his back on the whole galaxy out of self pity, as I suspected. The Luke we knew from the original trilogy would never do that! As I said in my review of The Force Awakens, this is the same dude who stubbornly and stupidly put everything on the line twice just to save the ones he cared about. And now, he just gives up because his nephew went rogue? (For whatever reason...just....SNOKE....?) WHAT?! Unbelievable. Luke became a total coward! What was the deal with the map that led to him in the last movie? They never explain that! It was just kinda there.....for no reason.....He wanted to be left alone and wither away on that island planet. Who the heck created that map and why?? He also went a little crazy. Much like Yoda back in the day, he’s this insane old hermit. I swear, he’s just Mark Hamill wearing a Jedi robe now, the way the character speaks and acts. (Not intended as a diss on Mark Hamill, he’s awesome) And apparently you can just melt away brick buildings? To be fair, the buildings are probably centuries old and he is a powerful Jedi.....(More of a “what the?” moment, really).....The way he dies at the end, while great and cinematic....I guess.....is also a missed opportunity. At first, we are led to believe he somehow went to Crait, and now is walking out to face all those walkers. They fire everything at him, and he doesn’t die! Then, after his fake duel with Kylo, (Do they ever even touch lightsabers? Man, that is a weird sentence.....) it turns out he was never there in person. It was just him.....doing....whatever THAT was. (Astral projection? Making everyone think they saw him there through the Force? I DON’T KNOW) I guess he never did reunite with Leia after all. I mean, sort of, but not really. Were those dice he gave her in memory of Han fake, then? Or can one actually manipulate physical objects while Force projecting or whatever? Honestly, the whole thing was just so confusing and unneeded. He could have actually gone there and went out in a grand way. (Perhaps via his underwater X-Wing, lifting it out like Yoda had in the past. Flying in and surprising those walkers from behind, maybe crashing down into the hanger to join them on foot) But no...he just falls over and dies because he was too exhausted.....or something....It is in his genes to tragically die for no real reason, I guess. After all, his mother died of a broken heart or whatever. I was happy they remembered the lore about disappearing when one dies, though. However, that is only for people who learned that trick of retaining your identity after death. (For those who saw The Clone Wars series) Qui-Gon taught Yoda, Yoda taught Obi-Wan. I guess they taught Luke? Who knows. By the way, milking that weird cgi creature, and drinking it on the spot, was just gross.....A bit.....much......ha.

Speaking of Yoda, he is actually in this movie, it turns out. He looks SO WEIRD. I don’t know what effects they used for him, but it is painfully obvious that it ain’t practical. He looks so different.....less like all those movie versions (Fair enough he would look different here too, I guess, since his look changes a lot) and more like the version of him from the Rebels tv series. Just....WEIRD looking. Apparently, a Force ghost can materialize and physically effect things? Because he was able to hit Luke over the head with his cane, and even send fire to rain upon the old Jedi books or whatever. (Which, by the way, I guess he has since changed his outlet on all that stuff? Being dead now and all, I’m sure he’s had time to reflect and see the true nature of the Force? I don’t know......) If Force ghosts are so powerful, why don’t they ever help out? They can only give advice, I guess? But yeah, he is also pretty solid looking, (Not as in “good,” as in literally, SOLID) and only has a subtle blue glow around him, as opposed to what Force ghosts are SUPPOSED to look like. Weird......Disappointed that we never get to see Anakin, though. Or Obi-Wan for that matter. (Well, that reason is obvious, since the actor is long gone.....but they still could have done Anakin! Since in canon now, thanks to the special editions of the originals, he appears as his young, Hayden Christensen self. I wanna see his reaction to everything that happened......) 

Rey is pretty great in this movie. Especially her whole arc with Kylo Ren. She tries to convince Luke to come back and help the Resistance. (Which I totally predicted would happen....Luke walking away, saying he can’t/doesn’t want to, and Rey walking after him, trying to convince him) Though, surprisingly enough, she never did convince him. However, there also wasn’t any training going on, really. He trained her in “step 1″ or whatever for a couple minutes, but that was IT. All of a sudden, she is now a Jedi, I guess? She is just SO good at everything without any training. We all thought they would at least explain what made her powerful in the first movie. All THAT (What she did in The Force Awakens) could be excused and explained away, I suppose, but this movie definitely hits the nail in the....coffin? (Whatever that saying is)....and makes her even more of a Mary Sue. As for the questions about her origins, like who are her parents, what is her last name, where is she originally from, etc.....KIND OF answered, but not really. Apparently she is a nobody who was sold by her parents for drinking money......Well, there goes all those theories flushed down the toilet, lol. SHE IS A NOBODY? Then why was her family ties kept so mysterious in the last movie, as if she is special? Her last name is never mentioned, (Still not....) we never see what her parents even looked like, nothing. To add to that, everyone seemed to know who she was in the last movie. “If what you say about this girl is true....bring her to me,” Snoke said. Kylo Ren, at least in the book, from what I hear, is like “It IS you.....” Han seems to have a sort of idea who she is, and the way Luke looked at her at the end made it seem like he, too, knew who she was. Wasn’t it confirmed as such, by Lucasfilm themselves, that Luke knew when he saw her, who she was? Guess they changed their mind on all of that. I mean, she can still be someone special. Perhaps Kylo lied to her? 

I mean, anything is possible at this point. Which brings me to another point....Everything that happens in this movie isn’t predictable at all. EVERYTHING you thought you knew going forward was all a lie. Not saying that is good or bad, just saying you’re in for a surprise either way. I do like THAT, at least. How unpredictable this movie is, as opposed to the last movie, where everything was PAINFULLY obvious what the result would be. As soon as you think this movie will go left, BAM, it goes right. Now that aspect I can get behind! (They even mentioned the prequels a bit, regarding how the ignorance and hypocrisy of the Jedi allowed for someone like Darth Sidius to change the fate of the galaxy. I thought they were ignoring the prequels now, but I am relieved to know they aren’t, fully)

Kylo Ren is great in this movie. He is still conflicted, and still a main character, just like Rey is, despite him being a villain. He nearly kills his mom, but decides not to, since the light still has a hold of his soul. I imagine after killing his father, he is more conflicted than ever before. He definitely has some struggle going on. The way he goes about everything, especially as far as Hux and Snoke are concerned, is just intense. He makes them his....b words....and just moves on. It’s insane! Apparently he is the supreme leader of the First Order now.....interesting. We shall see how all THAT plays out. Mother’s army vs son’s army.....Despite him never amounting to his grandfather in terms of being a total boss of a villain, he is still ahead of him in terms of rank and progression. Vader was a slave his whole life....legally one in the hands of slavers during his childhood.....then a “slave” to the Jedi’s strict ways.....and later a slave to the Sith and Empire. He was never the full on LEADER of anything, really, in the grand scheme of things. Kylo, however, is now legit LEADING the bad guy faction. How crazy is that! He just easily kills his master, and full on DESTROYS his rivalry with Hux, basically slapping him in the face and making him bow to his wishes. WHAT A TWIST! Good or bad....I don’t know quite yet. But I can say I am curious what becomes of him in this next movie.....

(By the way, that whole meme...picture....whatever....thing....of him being shirtless, and having this over sized bulgy body was REAL! I thought that was just some random, silly meme someone made. But no, that’s his actual body! WHAT THE HECK? That HAS to be fake! NO WAY! Well, I mean, I think the meme picture thing exaggerated the proportion a bit, but it’s still bulgy and weird in the movie......Wow, listen to me....going on about a man’s shirtless body. This is weird......MOVING ON!)

Kylo and Rey have this weird connection through the Force, being able to not only talk to each other, but also SEE one another in real time. (Force Skype?) That is only one of the few “new” abilities of the Force that apparently exists. (Would have been helpful earlier in the saga, eh?) Turned out, though, it was all Snoke doing that....

Speaking of the devil, SNOKE......WHAT THE FRICK, LUCASFILM? So this butthead of a villain is apparently also nobody significant. I thought he was gonna make it to the end of the trilogy, and be the ultimate bad guy to face later. The ultimate end villain of the saga. Perhaps the dark side itself personified....this....ancient entity of pure evil. NOPE! SLICE! He is dead now, in this crazy twist. As awesome as that twist is in a way, I would still like to know.....WHO THE HECK WAS HE?? Why is yet another dark side Force user leading the bad guys once again? What the HECK does this guy have to do with the extremist remnant faction that is the First Order? From my current knowledge, (That the movies never even talk about) the First Order was formed by Imperials who had fled into the unknown regions, after having been defeated by the now restored Republic, at the end of the Galactic Civil War. They had now sought revenge against the “Rebel scum,” and formed a new organization. This time, they would remove all weaknesses the Empire had, and stop at NOTHING to destroy the Jedi and Republic once and for all. Where the heck does SNOKE fit into all that?! He didn’t even need to be a character at ALL! Take him out of the equation, and the story is still pretty much the same. (I guess, apart from seducing Ben Solo to the dark side, but you could explain that otherwise) You could have had, instead of yet another pale, scarred dark sider.....(Rehashing the Emperor, much? Where did Snoke even GET all those scars and crap?) he could have been some leading general or something, who wanted Kylo Ren as an asset. (Him being from the bloodline of the mighty Vader, after all, as Snoke said) The way he dies, while an awesome twist, is just kinda lame in regard to his character. Here is this, apparently, omnipresent and unstoppable being, brought down by an object that he just kinda ignored, that was turning RIGHT NEXT TO HIM and about to ignite. He could sense EVERYTHING, but apparently not THAT? He can pretty much read peoples thoughts, and control the gravity around them, even from across the galaxy! He can sense EVERYTHING, so it seemed. Then they went all Darth Maul with his death....unbelievable. I’m sure he’ll be back in one way or another. Whether his ghost, or some contingency plan like the Emperor had, or WHATEVER. They can’t just introduce an insane character like him and NOT do something significant and major. We’ll see what happens, I suppose.....If nothing else, at LEAST explain who he was, and why he was leading the First Order to begin with. Please tell me we won’t have to pay for the “DLC” (Books, etc.) to unlock the full story of the movies......

General Hux.....he was alright in the movie. Just kind of a stereotypical “Imperial” officer guy, though, but still the Hux we knew from The Force Awakens. Really nothing much to his character other than that.....I found it hilarious how Kylo Ren just shot down their rivalry and made him lesser than in rank. Pretty funny.....

Captain Phasma SUCKS in this movie, too! She apparently survived being thrown into a trash compacter on a base that got completely destroyed a short while later, 0 explanation given. She just....kinda shows up out of nowhere, “REMEMBER ME?” and has a last stand against Finn. The fight between them was pretty epic, don’t get me wrong, but was very out of place. Then she dies just as stupidly as she was used in this trilogy. Granted, at least it was more of an honorable and epic looking death than being TOLD she was thrown somewhere.....Still, a VERY disappointing character. We never even get to see her face.....really. I mean, part of her mask is ruined and we see her eye....but never her face with her helmet removed, like the promo pictures showed. All around, just an unneeded and awful character. What a crappy villain.

The First Order in general is treated like the Empire in this movie. I guess the people who worked on this movie didn’t see The Force Awakens or get the memo about the era? Even still, I like how toward the end of the Battle of Crait, both sides seem to be rusty and toward their end. I thought they could easily both stop fighting and shake hands any second, realizing the greater good. (You know, one of THOSE cliches) Similar to how in real life back in World War I (Was it?) two sides just started singing Christmas songs, and they both stopped fighting and came together for that 1 day. That didn’t happen in the movie, however. The First Order kept trying to kill the Resistance off, but still, I got the vibe it could end right there at any moment, is what I mean....when they seize fire, and it’s Kylo Ren vs Luke having that stare down conversation. The First Order actually seemed SMALL again, in that moment, as opposed to this mighty reestablished empire the movie presented it as in the beginning. However, they are sort of more like the Separatists at times, seeing all these dang super weapons they got. The big cannons on the Dreadnaught....frigate....pizza slice ship......thing.....The crazy artillery of the Supremacy.....just to name a couple. There was also that battering ram, miniature Starkiller cannon at the Battle of Crait.....All that just reminded me of the Separatists in The Clone Wars series, ha. I guess make the Separatists this smaller, human faction, and give them the ideals and attitude of the Empire, and you get the First Order. Interesting...

So by the end of the movie, the Resistance is apparently a new rebellion now, and ALL OF THEM can fit inside the Millennium Falcon.....I don’t know HOW they are ever going to defeat the First Order, but knowing how plot armor works, I’m sure it’ll be done somehow. I almost think they won’t win in the end, and the First Order will reign supreme in the galaxy. A weird sort of dark, yet oddly hopeful, potential ending to the Skywalker saga. I don’t know how to feel about it, really. The movie broke me!

The movie ends showing these slave boys on Canto Bight, one having the Rebel ring Rose had given him. He looks up to the stars as the distant Millennium Falcon (Which apparently can sort of be seen at that distance?? Geez, I can’t even see Mars when I look up.....lol) speeds away into hyperspace. A neat ending, but a little crappy. I guess we’re just stuck with the Rebellion again......There goes our chances of EVER seeing the New Republic military in action on the big screen. But even still, oddly enough, I found myself kind of LIKING the movie by the end. I found myself being oddly okay with the choice to go back to Rebels vs Empire again. The way they went about it and appear to be heading with the last movie, I get it now. I can finally see what they are going for, and I think I can get behind it. It’s like the END all be all. The end of our rope....Everything has been pretty much destroyed, and here we are in a hopeless yet hopeful situation. Wars can definitely change things for the worse in the long run. 

I am a bit dumbfounded about the whole scenario all over again. (I know, I know, I keep mentioning it. Just bear with me!) It makes the original trilogy and all that happened prior POINTLESS. Jyn Erso and the Rogue One team sacrificing themselves, getting the plans to the Death Star....and Luke later destroying it despite all the odds.....The Rebels having a major struggle against the mighty Empire that is pushing back.....Luke going to save his friends, and putting everything on the line.......The many Bothans that died to bring the Rebels the information that would ultimately lead to a final showdown, with all the Rebels got vs the Empire.....Luke finally managing to bring his father back to the light, and with COUNTLESS losses, to destroy yet another Death Star....and finally bring an end to the Empire once and for all..........EVERYTHING was all for nothing. I mean, first of all, in the last movie, an even BIGGER Death Star comes along, so that’s pointlessness number 1. The Republic was destroyed, so there goes what the Rebels worked hard to restore, pointlessness number 2. NOW, it’s just another rebellion vs the new empire, this mighty First Order, and it’s not looking good for them.....WHAT WAS THE POINT OF IT ALL? That one lady even says in this movie that the Resistance (New rebellion? WHATEVER) is fighting to restore the Republic. AGAIN??? The Rebel Alliance already did that years before! WHAT THE HECK EVEN MATTERS ANYMORE? Same goes for the new Jedi Order, and everything else.

The “rhyming.”.....It doesn’t really do that great of a job. And no, I am NOT complaining that it was “too different.” (More on that after this) As far as the middle movie of a trilogy, it didn’t really do things WELL, as far as fitting like a puzzle and poetry....crap. First of all, the title. The last 2 middle movies are 4 words long, and have something to do with the offense of the stormtrooper faction. This title is just about the last Jedi person.....Granted, if it was something like, “The First Orders Retaliation,” or something along those lines, it would definitely be a rip off of The Empire Strikes Back. So, I guess there wasn’t too many good options for the title. Now for the events in the movie. There is no space chase through an asteroid field, (There is a chase, but no asteroids, according to my memory) no place surrounded by landing platforms, (I guess Canto Bight sort of was 1 giant circle?.....) no Fett flying the Slave 1, (Or at the very least, a bounty hunter showing up to assist the bad guys. I guess, “law breaker dude?” DJ? I don’t know) etc. There IS, however, a battle in a wasteland, with walkers involved. I was afraid that the Battle of Crait was going to rehash the Battle of Hoth, but much to my surprise, it didn’t. I thought they were going to have to find a weakness in the walkers to exploit again, but nope. I am glad! As for the traditions that comes with every movie....I don’t remember anyone saying, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.....” I heard it was BB8 at the beginning? But does that really count, though? We can’t understand him! No subtitles, even! I also don’t recall hearing a Willhelm scream anywhere. Granted, I did go to the restroom once, (While Finn and Rose were running from the police on those horse things) so maybe those things happened during that time? Or perhaps I overlooked it, one ear and out the other, so to speak. Aside from the Battle of Crait and the space chase, (Not involving asteroids, I don’t think) it didn’t really rhyme with The Empire Strikes Back and Attack of the Clones. I may have to see it again. Perhaps I missed a lot of aspects. But yeah, the whole “rhyme” thing is more of a minor nitpick. Believe me, I am NOT complaining that we get something completely new and different. That was exactly what I was hoping for, after the last movie left a bad taste in my mouth. Though, I mean....does it really HAVE to be all the way left or all the way right? Either total blatant rehash or no “rhyming” at all? Can’t we just be somewhere in between, where it’s new and different, but still carries those traditions? That is all I ask. Again, not complaining. If modern Disney-fied Lucasfilm can only pull off one or the other, all the way left or right, I will choose the one that doesn’t rehash any day. So for that, at least, I breathe a sigh of relief.

By the way, just a side note; there is some curse words and a little bit of potentially crude humor in this movie. I was a bit shocked. Instead of being for kids and something in there for adults, or for both in general, it seemed more like it was for adults, with some things for kids sprinkled in. Though as far as I, myself, am concerned, I don’t care. I mean, I’m an adult for one thing, so yay for me, lol. But I never really minded that stuff. You get that sort of thing with comic book movies, as well. A lot of people still take their kids to see those superhero films, so why not this? It isn’t even as bad as I am probably making it seem, really. Just an observation I had. Do with that info what you will.

All in all, this movie sucked, yet it was alright for what it was, ultimately. I don’t know, it all felt like a dream. From the weird visuals and humor, to the outright crazy twists in the plot, this whole movie was just a WEIRD experience. I am glad they did things differently, though. However, different doesn’t always automatically mean the movie itself is good. I hate that argument that fanboys make against other fanboys. (”The haters”) “You complained it was too different, (Prequels) now you’re complaining it’s too similar. (The Force Awakens) And NOW you’re complaining it’s too different again! You guys can never be happy, can you?” WRONG! I wish this argument would just DIE already. It’s flawed, it’s way too simplistic, and makes no sense. Nobody is complaining that this movie is different. (At least, I’m not) If you even tried to pay attention and hear people out, you would know that. The complaints (At least, from me) are about the plot, the visuals, the characters, etc. I LIKE how it is different! THAT, I applaud. It was actually one of the highlights of this experience for me. I like how it didn’t rehash. But again, just because it is DIFFERENT does not automatically mean it is a GOOD movie. WAY too black and white of a view to hold. Rehashing is BAD, always, in my opinion. But different, while the very fact it is different is good, can still end up as a bad movie. Depends how it’s made, and what happens in the movie. I think this movie is just one BIG miss. SO much missed opportunities, so many plot holes, CGI overload of visuals, out of place humor, and crappy treatment of beloved characters. That’s not to say this movie was a TOTAL disappointment, however. There definitely was some enjoyable parts. The more I made myself feel like I was watching a parody and whatever happened didn’t effect my “fandom....ness,”...the more I actually found enjoyment. When the humor and weird visuals came along, I laughed AT it as opposed to with it. So, looking at it as a silly parody of a movie, or I guess, as an “outsider,” I actually enjoyed it more. Because when I care TOO MUCH and am too invested in this fictional universe, I end up hating it and saying “SCREW YOU DISNEY! YOU RUINED STAR WARS! AAHHHH.” Which is kind of true, lol, but still. We have to remember this is all fiction and does not matter in reality. It’s JUST a movie. Looking at it that way, I find myself to enjoy this new generation of Star Wars just a little more. Anyway, excuse my rambling, I probably lost you.

(By the way, “The Force Awakens.......The Last Jedi.......From Slumber?” HA, I don’t know. Just an idea)

I will give this movie, I guess......a 5/10. It failed, and it succeeded, simultaneously. All around, it is a wacky, just....WEIRD Star Wars experience. You will have to see it to decide for yourself. (If you’re reading a spoiler review without having seen it, I mean.......??) You will, for sure, leave the theater, wondering what it all means.....wondering what the heck your eyes and ears just beheld. You may question what this galaxy far, far away really is all about. At the very least, crappy or great, we have to admit that this movie sparks discussion. Some crazy good fan conversations are on the horizon, that’s for sure. There has been an awakening.....have you felt it?

[ampwich-blog]

Spoiler free review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi

........What......just...........WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED...............

Let me just say this movie is the WEIRDEST Star Wars there is! Holy crap....it feels like I was on a drug trip watching it. From weird flashback scenes, to weird new aspects of the Force that apparently exists....etc. This movie just messes with your head, and makes you wonder if this is really happening. I had to actually pinch myself in the arm to make sure I was really there watching the real movie in the theater. Didn’t help that I hadn’t gotten much sleep in the past few days, and I was tired. All psychedelic and what not....definitely takes a leap into the realm of WEIRDNESS. MAJOR jump from what Episode VII was.

So let’s start off without spoilers, shall we? 

The music in the title crawl is better this time around. At least, to my ears in the theater, it sounded like the prequel opening theme. I could be wrong, but with what I thought I heard, I was happy. The last movies main theme sounded a bit hollow and sort of like a bad parody.....Anyway.....the crawl itself was pretty lame, but I’m sure that matters not.

Let me address the main concern; Is this movie a rehash? Surprisingly, no it is not. I mean, it is as far as the war that goes on is concerned, sort of. Meaning, more Empire vs Rebels crap. (Which I was very disappointed by) As we suspected, the Republic basically is non existent now. So much for that possibility.....But as far as the plot and everything that goes down, it is definitely doing things different. Even the Battle of Crait, which we thought might be the Battle of Hoth all over again, is COMPLETELY different. Really, the only thing similar is that there are walkers vs speeder vehicle.....things.....and the enemy is attacking the good guy base.....sort of. That’s basically it right there. Heck, it doesn’t even do the “rhyme” thing! Which is a bit disappointing in my book. While I like how it is different, it should at least do the subtle rhyming, just to keep tradition. I don’t even remember anyone saying “I’ve got a bad feeling about this....” or a willhelm scream, or any of that stuff. At least, not that I recall.....I imagine it’s probably somewhere sprinkled in there, but I didn’t catch it. (Could have happened during my bathroom break, lol) A lot of people say that fans are never happy. “You said it was too different with the prequels, then you said it was too similar with The Force Awakens, and now you’re complaining again that it’s different!” Actually, no....not at all. That argument needs to die already, because it just doesn’t make sense and is so flawed. Nobody, (At least, me anyway) is complaining about it being different. Different is a GOOD thing. But just because it’s not a rehash doesn’t automatically mean it’s a GOOD movie all of a sudden. NO! Stop it with the black and white bullcrap that just isn’t true. A movie, despite how different it is, can still have crap in it that is unlikable. Does that mean the next movie should be similar and rehashy again? Absolutely not!! I applaud this movie for the difference it had. I LIKE how it took risks. That is actually one of the more enjoyable aspects of the movie. However, a lot of it still fell short of greatness. And that WASN’T BECAUSE IT WAS DIFFERENT!

The visuals.....LOTS of cgi where it is unnecessary. If you were one of those people who despised the prequels for its overuse of cgi and weird kiddy humor, and you found Episode VII had brought you back on board.....well good luck to you with this, sir/mam. This movie brings all that crap people didn’t like from the prequels back. (As far as the visuals are concerned) The movie looked unrealistic....felt like I was watching an animated film half the time. It was pretty awful. Though like I say, I never really minded that, personally. I can suspend my “belief” as far as the visuals go to have a good time. I am there for the action and story, not to see what the effects are like. I am just warning you, if you are one to care about that sort of thing.

The humor......There is way too much of it. Granted, it doesn’t do it as bad as I personally thought. (Though many others would disagree with me) but it’s still pretty bad. Whereas the last movies humor felt like it was made by Marvel Studios or something, (You know that weird quippy humor thrown in every 10 seconds?) this movie feels more like the prequels in that regard. Felt like George was at the helm again. That sort of slapstick, kiddy style humor, where cgi a creature does something silly....or someone steps in poodoo.....or makes a remark about someones mother......that sort of thing. It was very out of place and just didn’t fit right with the over all dark tone of the movie. You would be drawn in this very cool, serious scene....then BAM a silly remark comes in and just crushes the moment. So if you can look past all that....(Or even like it) then you should be fine. To me, it was all in one ear and out the other, really. Kinda lame, but I mostly made sure it didn’t bother me too much. I found myself chuckling, not because the humor itself, but because I was laughing AT the movie and the decisions they were making. A silly moment would come, and I laughed like, “WHAT? Really?? LOL!” You know,.....the wrong kind of laugh, ha.

The action....a lot of it. YAY....I guess? Definitely more action in space then probably ever before. Which is cool, in my book. Though it does kinda slap the rhyme aspect in the face of the previous middle movies. No “platform place,” like Kamino and Cloud City. No space chase. (At least, not like Obi-Wan going after Jano Fett, or the Millenium Falcon fleeing from Imperials, and no asteroid fields, I don’t think)

The characters.....Kylo Ren, Rey, and I guess Poe, were alright. 

Finn was a little more chill and not too in-your-face silly this time around, which I appreciated. The last movie made him out to be the comic relief, and he was always hyper and on edge, and it was just irritating. This time around, he blended in quite nicely. Though the plot regarding him and this new character, Rose, was a bit off. (Btw, Rose was kinda crazy.....) Their adventure they go on is really not needed, and could easily be cut from the movie, for the most part. 

DJ, that new alcoholic type character, is pretty much meh, in my opinion. He did fine for what he was, but what he was was pretty underwhelming. A sort of scumbag guy with a weird lisp....I mean, sure, but why, lol. 

That new captain character with the blue-ish hair...(I forget names pretty easily)....she was also quite underwhelming. How she goes about what she does is quite unnecessary, I’ll just leave it at that. 

Snoke is AWFUL in this movie. He doesn’t really do much of anything that I consider to be really significant. He’s pretty much on his butt the whole time, being all cocky or angry, nothing more, really. How they treat his character is very poor, as well. So much missed opportunity! They never even explain who the heck he is, and why he is leading the First Order! (Perhaps they will in Episode IX? Here’s to hoping!) Also, he’s very cgi.....it’s horrendous. He could have easily been practical, but again, I never minded that too much....but it does sort of take you out of the immersion and is pretty lame, when it comes to characters interacting with one another and one has to be all cgi......

Rey is one of the better characters in this movie. Especially her interactions with Kylo Ren was pure awesomeness. However, if you were one of those people who thought she was a bit of a Mary Sue in the last movie, you will be even more disappointed in this one. I’m just gonna leave it at that. As far as her lineage goes, who her parents are and all that......do they explain it? Well, SORT OF.....but at the same time, not really. That’s all I can say in this spoiler free section. But let me just say her backround is a bit lame.

Kylo Ren is GOLD in this movie. Is he still a bit of a whiny brat? Well, yes and no. He is still conflicted, and is still that same dude from The Force Awakens. However, he is a bit more matured as time goes on. Instead of just some fanboy of his grand daddy, he is more of a legit character this time in his own right. And he is still definitely the other side of the coin from Rey, a main character. They definitely do his character justice, in my opinion. 

Captain Phasma.....Yes, she returns.....and still sucks. That is all I will say about that. But I will say at least she did more this time. (I guess?) 

General Hux.....Uh.....meh. I mean, same guy, and okay for what he is.....but like most of the characters in this movie, he’s kinda underwhelming. Though granted, for a character like him, there isn’t a whole lot to do anyway. So for what he is, I’d say he is quite alright. 

Now the original characters.....Leia is pretty underwhelming as well. She really doesn’t do that much, either. He’s just kinda.....there.....And there is one instance regarding her that makes 0 sense, but I’ll save that for the spoiler review.

Luke is HORRIBLE. They treat his character so poorly, I was just shaking my head. The way he acts, what he did before and does now in the lore, etc. it’s all just wrong......This isn’t the Luke we have come to known watching the original trilogy. This is just.....Mark Hamill in a robe, really lol. (If he did drugs or something) He is a but crazy, like Yoda was in Empire Strikes Back.....though not THAT overboard, ha. He’s still Luke, I guess.....but one that doesn’t carry the same attitude and morals as the younger Luke. It’s as if his whole story in the last trilogy never even happened.....it was weird.

One aspect of the movie I found a bit odd and interesting was there was more cuss words and crude humor. Felt more like a movie for adults that pandered to kids a little, as opposed to the other way around. It was a bit weird for a Star Wars movie.....but honestly, didn’t bother me too much. I mean, it wasn’t THAT crude, to the point of “Cover your ears and eyes, children!” Basically, how Marvel (MCU) movies are. Take your kids to see them, but they sort of have that adult-ishness to it, if that makes sense.

All in all, this movie definitely makes you question what it means to be a Star Wars movie. It did things out of the oridinary, and crapped on expectations. (Good or bad? I’ll leave that up to you to decide) It was honestly a Disney movie, but with the theme of “Star Wars.” It is a little crappy, but still manages to be quite alright for what it is by the end. The first half or so was brutal to my fandom....geekiness....I HATED IT. I was actually thinking about walking out.....however I told myself to stick through it until the end, and boy, was I glad I did. It does get better. (At least, it did for me) It’s still ultimately Empire vs Rebels crap, which was quite disappointing.....However, the way they go about it all and conclude the movie with it makes me see it as not so bad. It definitely feels like this saga is about to be concluded....the way everything is now. The galaxy feels like it’s at the end of its rope, in the grand scheme of things. I have no idea what Episode IX will be like now, but I am super curious to see how they conclude this trilogy, and possibly, this saga as a whole. I will give this movie.....maybe a 5/10.

Should YOU see this movie?......Eh, I’d say to wait until you can rent it on dvd or blue ray. Yeah, RENT IT.....I’m not sure we should support this crap. Though oddly enough, it is okay crap....who could have thought crap could be edible? IDK, weird analogy. But ANYWAY, I recommend just waiting it out. Let Lucasfilm and Disney know they need to stop with the bullcrap aspects and hopefully make things better for the next movie. I mean, by the time you’re reading this, it’s probably too late, since as I’m writing this, I think it’s actually the last day it’s gonna be shown in theaters, lol. So maybe take this all with a grain of salt, I don’t know.

[ampwich-blog]

In depth review of Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

There will be lots of spoilers. You have been warned. Where do I even begin with this movie? Well first off, where is the episode number? (Review gets better, stick around!) Might be confusing for some, but I suppose everyone knows by now what number it is. Anyway, let’s start at, well the start. First, we see no 20th Century Fox intro....which took some getting used to at first but it’s fine, it’s to be expected. As you know, Disney is now the parent company of Lucasfilm, so the Fox logo is not gonna be in there, obviously. I am really glad that Disney didn’t put THEIR logo in. I was a bit worried going in at what it would be like. I mean, I want Disney to keep off of Star Wars as much as possible, if that makes sense. I don’t wanna be reminded of the situation, ya know, lol.

So, the title crawl. The theme is a bit.....off. Bad quality....it sounds....hollow, in a way. Compare it to that of the prequel title crawls, and you’ll see what I mean. That version (Prequel crawl) remains the best in my opinion. Legit quality score, while this one, all due respect to the mastermind that is John Williams, is more of a sad attempt.....a parody, if you will. “Luke has vanished!” Interesting....thought not quite in his character, but I’ll get to that later. Capital letters for the factions involved.....which only happened with every even number movie (2, 4, 6) up to now. Kinda breaking tradition a little, but it’s forgivable since it does mention the Empire in the crawl, and they gotta make a distinction as to what factions are actually in the movie. “With the support of the REPUBLIC, Leia leads a brave RESISTANCE.” Well, would have preferred to see the actual Republic in the conflict itself, but I’ll get to that later.

The opening shot, despite it being the only one of the saga (At this time) that has nothing to do with the last sentence of the title crawl, is pretty freaking epic. The big ship looming over the planet below, and deploying troop transports is just awe to the some! It’s ominous, visually astounding, and just tell you right off the bat that this First Order does not mess around. They are like the Empire as far as the ideals; the evil, sort of wanting to control and get their way, but the way they go about things is like the Republic of old, where they aren’t afraid to get down and dirty, so to speak. (Despite them looking new and shiny, ha) They are willing get things done, no matter the cost, (As we see what they did to that village) and that makes them terrifying. Speaking of which, the troops being deployed and the fight that ensues is pretty awesome. Let me just say that over all, this movie is stunning. It sure does THAT right. You got practical effects everywhere as far as the on-ground scenes go, and beautiful cgi as far as everything else goes. Except for some scenes here and there, like the starfighters when they are dogfighting, and especially when Poe and Finn escape the Finalizer, the cgi is a bit animated there but I honestly never minded that kinda thing. I mean, even in the prequel trilogy, I don’t mind the cgi. I’m there for the story and the action, and I can suspend any “belief” as far as visuals go to have a good time viewing, but hey, that’s just me. Anyway, let’s move on to the more nitpicky things.

First of all, Finn. I really like the concept of his character, his backstory. This bad guy turned good. Especially what we’ve seen up until now as faceless troopers. (As far as the movies go, since The Clone Wars series showed the clones in great depth) Which I like the idea of, but the way they go about it is super lame to me. They introduce the idea that faceless, nameless bad guys can turn good, that they are people too, and have morals and a conscience. They have their own lives and struggles. Sort of “lifting the mask,” so to speak. But they forget about that pretty quickly, as they go right back to shooting away baddies like they are points in a game. Even Finn is all, “WWOOOO!” as he shoots away his friends, his comrades, the only family he’s ever known. These are people he knew personally, who, he should know better than anyone, are people too, who can become good. Not only that, but the way he turns good is just....rushed. He switches on a dime. From the very get go, he is already questioning his ways with no development whatsoever. “It’s the right thing to do,” he says, despite never having had a conversation with a good guy saying that.....NOTHING. Just.....BAM, bad guy being horrified by his factions actions (Hey, that rhymed) and turning good right away. And another shame, to add insult to injury so to speak, is Finn is just another stereotypical black character. Like seemingly every black guy Hollywood depicts, he is the comic relief, the hyper guy, always on edge and shouting, exaggerating things, etc. And what is it with Hollywood and black characters always speaking in an American-ish.....I guess sort of “urban” way? I mean, they could have just had the actor use his real life, natural English accent. I mean, it’s a cool accent! And he is apart of the First Order, so it would make sense. “Oh, but the original trilogy had stormtroopers always speaking in an American accent.” Well, that doesn’t mean this trilogy has to do the same thing! Not EVERYONE is from the same dang planet! Chances are, not ALL of them would have the same accents. (The clone troopers didn’t have an American accent, by the way) And as far as these stormtroopers go, they were kidnapped from the First Order at a very young, impressionable age, being raised and trained. So it only makes sense they, too, might have an “English“ accent. (I say the nationality terms for accents here for lack of a better way to put it. Obviously, these aren’t Earthlings, lol) They said they went with an “American” accent for Finn, due to the pacing and comical tone. But 1. WHY does he need to be comical? This dude has a tragic story, he shouldn’t be the comic relief. I mean, you could have done that with Poe, if anyone. But do we REALLY need anyone to be comical? Do we really need a “Jar Jar” or “C-3PO” of this trilogy? (C-3PO is already in it, anyway) 2. He kind of pronounces words weird. Could be the planet he is from? If so, could someone tell me what planet? Like for example, Jakku. “JockUUE.” No, no, Finn, it’s “Jack-koo.” “JocKUUE.” No, no, “Jack.....koo.....” “JockUUE.” Ya know what, nevermind. Just....don’t worry about it.

Anyway....you also have Rey, who is, granted, not PERFECT at everything, but she is a little....too good....There’s really no development for her, I mean she has the same basic attitude and, well, fighting skills the whole time. Sure, it can be explained away by her being a scavenger all her life, growing up in a “rough part of town,” so to say. But it just makes her parts in the movie more boring, really. Not that much room to grow as a character. She’s just good from the get go. Similar to Anakin in Episode 1. Is she a Chosen One, too?! I’m getting those vibes with her...And doesn’t help that all the characters seem to know who she is, but never say anything. It’s like some big mystery, some big reveal to come in the next movie. Please tell me we’re not gonna get another “I am your family member” moment. That aside, there is no real attributes to her, aside from her not wanting to leave Jakku, because her family might come back at any time. She has to learn to accept that she has to move on. She has to live her own life. These new friends of hers ARE her family now, and she has a cause to fight for, a real difference to make for the greater good. But aside from that, there really isn’t that much going for her, character wise. She’s just kinda the same throughout the whole movie, already having good sound morals, being a good fighter and pilot. (How the heck does she know the Millennium Falcon better than Han Solo?!) Being able to use the Force and know how to mind trick, etc. (HOW??) all seemingly without flaw. Granted, her fight with Kylo later is pretty much defensive, and she was losing up until the point she remembers to trust in the Force, and only then does the tide turn in her favor. (Much like Luke in the Battle of Yavin) And heck, Kylo was injured by a freaking bowcaster for crying out loud! (By the way, how the heck does he stay still as a statue, when others hit by the bowcaster are FLUNG like a sonic frisbee?....) Kylo was not only facing her, but Finn as well. AND he just murdered his father, so that’s probably going through his mind. That is pretty impressive on his part. So I will give Rey’s character that much, that there was AN attribute and that she did struggle....(For as little as she did) But hey, it’s something. Though escaping from Kylo Ren’s clutches all by herself was a bit much.

The other new guy, Poe Dameron. He was alright. He was WAY too good of a pilot, though, I mean, geez. (Now this is podracing?) And that part where he is flung elsewhere when he and Finn crash, and later turns out he survived and is right back to fighting. Not a whole lot of sound explanation is given for that, at least in the realm of believability. Now that is called bad writing, I’m just being honest.

Kylo Ren.....I don’t quite understand the hate toward him. I mean, he’s a developing character. He’s conflicted....and yes, he’s quite whiny. But he is related to Anakin and Luke, he’s got that Skywalker blood in him, so it’s kind of to be expected. He isn’t another Vader; Meaning, he isn’t already matured and developed, and is an all out boss to face later. This high and mighty villain that is a lurking threat and you must come to face at some point. No, he is basically a main character in his own right. He is the other side of the coin from Rey. I am excited to see where they take his character. The idea of Han and Leia’s son being a villain is pulled straight from Legends, which I personally appreciate. As much as they ignore the old EU, (Correct me if I’m wrong, never really read it) they do have SOME things from it, so I at least like that. Though what is up with his Force powers? Apparently in Star Wars, you can stop blaster fire mid air? And you can freeze a person in place, and even knock them out? Why didn’t anyone ever do any of that before, then? I’m sure it would have come in handy.

Snoke.....I like the mystery behind his character, and his ominous presence. (But dat voice though) So many questions. Who is this guy? WHAT is he? Why is he leading the First Order? (I will address that part later) I just hope he doesn’t end up being some random evil Force user. Some new character, another villain they have to defeat, blah blah blah. I want him to be of some great significance. Perhaps he is someone we know of already, and is getting his revenge, or is on the rise. Perhaps he is the dark side itself personified, and defeating him would finally bring true balance to the Force and end all this madness. SOMETHING that when he and the First Order are defeated, it can be a nice finish to the saga, bringing all 3 trilogies together in a grand way. Whatever happens, I just hope it’s awesome, mind blowing, and significant. I don’t want this trilogy to just be “what happens later.” Or a one off thing. I want it to be legit THE SEQUEL TRILOGY.

Captain Phasma SUCKS in this movie. They made her out to be a fierce warrior or some crap in marketing, only for her to have nothing to do in the film, and to be a total coward. The ease at which she succumbs to the good guys demands is just pathetic. All they had to do is threaten her life and she is willing to compromise her entire faction. Just a WEAK villain. And Han suggests to throw her in a trash compactor. I mean, that’s pretty dark for his character, don’t you think? I thought he was a good guy! What gives?

General Hux is, well....alright I guess. He does have some cringey dialogue at times. Like when he is talking to Snoke and is all, “We should destroy the government that supports the Resistance.....” and there’s a pause in there, as if we don’t know what he is referring to. OH, what could it possibly be, I wonder?? “the Republic.” *GASP!* NOOOOOO! (That whole situation with the First Order, Resistance, and Republic is pretty confusing, but I will get to that in a bit) His speech was pretty epic, though, I gotta admit. I couldn’t help but listen to it and apply it to my imagination in some way. It definitely has a Nazi vibe to it. Really gives you the sense that these guys are this small, extremist group rallying together and hellbent on destroying the Republic and all that is good. We get to see their craziness at play here. They come across as a cult, almost. You can tell by the way the troops respond, too, that they are pretty much brainwashed and willing to die for a cause that is evil. These guys are quite the threat, despite their small size. (They do make up for that with their big ships and advanced tech. They have to use quality over quantity)

Now that the Republic capital has been Alderaaned all up in here, the good guys have definitely been brought down to the First Orders level, and now it’s more of an even fight. Since before, it was the galactic government, the Republic. With its big military (WAY smaller than any before it, but still the biggest of its era, so I’ve read) and Leia leading a Resistance. But now, a good chunk of the Republics fleet is gone and they probably will have to band with the Resistance if they have any hope of fighting off the First Order. (So I hope is the case) Though they make it seem like the Republic as a whole is destroyed, and if that is the case, then that is soooo stupid! The Rebels, turns out, did restore the Republic. But now it’s as if it was all for nothing, as now, it seemingly gets destroyed. Now we are stuck with ANOTHER ragtag group of Rebels. REALLY.

This “Resistance” (Oh, yes, sounds soooo different, uh huh) looks JUST like the Rebel Alliance! X-Wings, the pilot outfits, a hidden base on a forest planet, the whole 9 yards. Heck, even their emblem is the EXACT same as the Rebel firebird! They aren’t even trying here! This is just Rebellion 2.0! Even the situation they find themselves in, from trying to get info in a droid before their enemy does, to having to blow up a planet killing ball seconds before it destroys their base....IS THE SAME THING! Those aspects were basically just Episode 4 all over again. I mean, holy crap, I know you have to do the whole “rhyme” thing, but can you at least be a little more subtle about it? Yes, Episode 1 repeated some stuff, but they weren’t so blatant about it. There’s even a dang trench run! COME ON, LUCASFILM! Have SOME originality here!

The bad guys, while more original, isn’t excused either. The First Order (What does that name even mean? Like....what??) is also a missed opportunity. I mean, first learning about them, they seemed like this organized terrorist group, essentially an evil rebellion. A group founded by fleeing Imperials years before, hellbent on revenge, yata yata. (NONE of which is explained in the movie) Much like the real life theory of Nazis fleeing elsewhere and rebuilding in secret to become a threat once more. Which more or less is exactly what they are. But to me, they had initially seemed like a cult, a secret society, some extremist group. Which I definitely got that feel during Hux’s speech. (Again, which is awesome) But as time goes on, I’m starting to see them more like Empire 2.0. Still TIE Fighters for some reason, still calling their troops stormtroopers (More of a minor nitpick, really) another Death Star, (I will address that in a bit) another scarred dark sider leading it, etc. (And from the looks of The Last Jedi, more walkers....probably gonna be a weakness that needs exploited) Even another dark side enforcer dude with a mask on. Well that last part, again, is kind of a minor nitpick, but thought I’d mention the parallel at least. (I personally like Kylo Ren, as I said before. Though the son of the Resistance leader being in the First Order is kind of a bit too coincidental, huh?)

What I think would have made a more compelling setting is the New Republic vs the Resistance. (The Resistance being what we ultimately got as the First Order) Instead of being a closed off organization being led by yet another dark sider, (Which doesn’t even make sense here. Like what the heck does Snoke have to do with them??) it would be a movement actively recruiting members who are loyalists to the old Empire, and want to take down the Republic. Led by Hux, they would actively make speeches, protests, terrorist attacks, etc. Which I suppose we kind of got, but if all that was in the movie itself with some more added, I mean. It would feel more like a reverse rebellion of sorts. They could be more vocal, since the government here is more democratic and friendly.....Of course, my idea of a Resistance would have a military in secret and be doing shady things like the First Order does. That would be the political side of things. On the Force side of things, we would have the new Jedi Order struggling against the Knights of Ren, led by Snoke. And Snoke would be, I don’t know, the source of the dark side itself or something. Perhaps Snoke IS that in canon, or something similar, who knows. This dark side entity from the unknown regions. But him leading the First Order just doesn’t make sense to me and is just too similar to the situation with the Empire.

The new Jedi Order is kinda dumb, turns out. In the EU, they were legit. But here, we never get to see them in action. We’re just told they were all slaughtered. So now we’re back to square one, with Luke being the last of the Jedi....AGAIN. And Luke just....left? When the galaxy needed him most, he vanished.....Some time has passed and my new best friend and I discovered a new Jedi-to-be. A Force user named Rey. And although her Force powers are great, she has a lot to learn before she’s ready to save anyone. Hehe, just kidding. Get the reference? Eh? Moving on. Seems out of Lukes character to just abandon the galaxy like that out of self pity. I mean, this is the same guy who disobeyed his Jedi masters to go save his friends on Bespin, despite all the red flags. The same dude who put his own life and morals on the line just for a slight chance to bring his father back to the light side. This guy is pretty dang stubborn when it comes to saving people. So for him to just throw his hands in the air and say “I quit” and leave everything to die just doesn’t make sense to me. Though to be fair, he was pretty whiny and did give up rather easily.....But still, you would think he’d have learned his lesson by now, 30 years later and being a Jedi master and crap.....(Also he gets no dialogue! WHAT THE HECK. No reunion with the others, nothing. Minor nitpick, really. I honestly don’t mind, to be honest, but thought I’d mention it) Not only Luke, but everyone is back to square one. Han and Chewy are back to their lives of crime. (Don’t tell Leia  or anyone in the Republic?) Leia is back to having a big role in a resistance movement. The galaxy is now back to Empire vs Rebels crap again, (Now that the Republic is presumably gone) and so on and so forth. Just seems like all that was accomplished in the original trilogy was for nothing.

Starkiller Base. Let me just get this out of the way: REHASH!! I mean, seriously, it’s Death Star 3, can we please call it Death Star 3 and be honest with ourselves? (Not really, I’m trying to be in denial here) Take out the Starkiller, and this movie is alright. Every time I see it on screen, (As cool as it looks and is to watch it fire) I cringe. Especially during the attack on it by the Resistance. That whole battle just feels like Battle of Yavin 2.0. “Battle of D’qar?” I don’t know....The whole thing was SO painfully predictable, it hurts to watch. I mean, really....how many times are we gonna get this dang scenario? Just 1 movie before this, we already had a 2nd one, do we really need a 3rd? It’s getting numb at this point. Even the characters in the movie are tired of it! “It’s another Death Star!” “I wish that was the case....” NO, it is! That person was right! And even Han is like again, really? The way he speaks about it. “So....it’s big.....Now how do we blow it up? There’s always a way to do that.” UNBELIEVABLE. If it’s such a tiring thing, and been done too much already, WHY PUT IT IN THE MOVIE?! I think I know why.....”Rhyming.” UUGGHH. You could rhyme, that’s fine. Make another ball to destroy, okay. But does it have to be another planet killer? Can’t it be something a little more subtle? I’m just saying! And the way they go about it all is so painful to watch. Oh, we gotta lower the shields from the inside, and blah blah blah. Aside from it being a planet on the outside, the inside is just another Death Star, while D’qar is just another Yavin 4. They look just like those! IS THERE NO CREATIVITY LEFT AT LUCASFILM? And how the heck does it even work? There’s no logic here. I mean, I know it’s in a fictional universe where the Force and hyperdrives exist, but still, you should at least explain it a LITTLE so it makes SOME sense. It sucks in a sun? Odd, but okay. (By the way, I had that same idea for a story I was gonna write, granted a little different. But now I can’t do that, ha) I mean, how does it not melt all the snow and heat everything up? I don’t know, but I can sort of get behind the idea, I GUESS. But isn’t it kind of pointless to suck in THE star of your solar system? So....what then? They just drift off into space, and can never fire? And didn’t they already have to suck in a sun before, when they fired at the Hosnian System? (And notice how it was day light when they fired, as opposed to later when they suck in the sun to prepare to fire, it gets dark) So are there twin suns in their system, too? Or is their sun an unlimited energy source, where they suck in a lot of energy, but the sun “recharges” after a while? If that makes any sense. Though sources say it is a mobile base. Perhaps when it’s done with their sun(s), (Hehe, I like rhyming) it drifts off into space until it comes into contact and starts to orbit another star? Then it can fire that? Though Wookiepedia says Starkiller has rocket ports or something to make it mobile. (Of course, take Wookiepedia with a grain of salt?) But how the heck do you take a whole planet out of its orbit like that? And wouldn’t everyone freeze to death? I don’t care how many heaters you have, yall are gonna be like Pluto all up in here. By the way, the cannon has got to be the size of a freaking continent! And are you telling me the ENTIRE planet is a base? That is a LOT of freaking people. Imagine Earth’s population all working under one military faction. Well, I imagine the planet didn’t house intelligent life before, and now there’s a bunch of First Order people there, but not like a planet sized population? I don’t know, okay, the whole thing is confusing. But needless to say, Starkiller Base wasn’t really needed. It was cool the first time (The Death Star, I mean) kinda lame the second time.....became a trope the third time. (Episode 1, with the droid control ship) and was just beating the dead horse the fourth time in The Clone Wars with the Malevolence. NOW, it’s just becoming BRUTAL. So predictable. I knew as soon as I saw it on the poster that it was gonna go bye bye by the end of the movie. I mean, at least let it stick around for the trilogy, perhaps. Make the destruction of it be a milestone, a cheerful, crucial moment that was hard for the good guys to finally overcome. But what we ultimately got was a “Here we go again” sort of thing, and here comes like, what? 12 fighters to defeat an entire militarized planet! Okay then.....

Now on to seeing the glass more half full. The way I like to see things. Call it denial, but I like to see the Resistance as a New Republic military operation. Obviously, canon says it’s a private military under Leia, but it does say the Republic supports it. (By the way, the canon EU says the Republic sees Leia as a war mongerer and is not listening to her warning about the First Order, so she creates her own army. But then in the movie, it says they do support her? Well which is it??) So a group of Republic volunteers band together to spy on the First Order. (Whom are a somewhat small extremist organization, and NOT another Empire) Snoke is basically a dark sider who dwelled in the unknown regions, and made a bargain with the First Order. “I can help you guys. If you let me lead you right now, I will give you lots of resources, and help you bring the New Republic to its knees. In return, I want help destroying Luke Skywalker, and ending the Jedi once and for all.” So much like when the Sith made a deal to work with the Trade Federation in Episode 1, Snoke and the Knights of Ren made a deal to mingle with the First Order and help lead them to victory. When the Hosnian System gets destroyed, the Republic isn’t wiped out, but simply crippled. Now, my hope is to see the Republic and Resistance band together to fight the First Order. That is my way of making this new era bearable.

All in all, it’s an OKAY, sort of entertaining movie. Visually amazing, but plot and such is pretty lame. The first half is alright for what it is but the latter half is just horrendous. I think I rate this movie.....a 5/10 lightsabers. Basically, average. I know it’s HERESY to say, but I really didn’t care for this movie. Seems to me, and please don’t get offended by this, that a lot of people are hyped on the nostalgia provided. Seeing the original cast again, the Millennium Falcon being chased by TIE Fighters, (Which was pretty meh to me) etc. But for me, personally, I really don’t like nostalgia. At least when it’s used as an excuse to be lazy in story telling. Nostalgia should come natural, not be forced. I don’t know about you, but I get my nostalgia by taking part in the original thing that is the cause of my nostalgia, if that makes sense. Like, if I’m gonna get nostalgia from watching the Millennium Falcon fly away, and TIEs pursuing, etc. in this case, then I watch the original trilogy itself. THEN, all those memories come and I enjoy it. For me, a movie is tied to when I see it. So this movie brings on memories from 2015, if anything, ha. Nostalgia does NOT make a movie any good, in my opinion. Notice how a lot of movies these days relies on their predecessors a little....TOO much. I guess that just happens in Hollywood, when you wait 20+ years to make a sequel, you feel the need to “reel in” the fans, and remake the first one. It’s a shame, too. Movies could be so much better than this. A lot of people don’t like rehashing, and rightfully so. But for some reason, when Star Wars does it, it’s okay? I mean, I know there are a LLOOTT of people on board with me here. They, too, don’t like the rehash....iness....But there are arguably MORE who do. Either they are blinded by nostalgia, like it because “Well it’s great for what it is and I don’t care,” or they like ANYTHING Disney throws their way. (Ever notice that? Disney can never do any wrong?) Even if it’s a company that people know is under Disney, it makes the experience better for them somehow. I don’t know how true any of that is, it’s just my theory. An observation. It kinda scares me a little. Seems like Disney has almost brainwashed the population, in a way. And the rate at which they are expanding, buying everything in sight....I mean, kind of creepy. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate Disney or anything. I’m just creeped out by them, and don’t like some decisions they make in regards to my favorite franchises. (Mainly being Star Wars) But since Disney practically has the female population in their grasps, I’m gonna have to come to acceptance with them, other wise, will I ever get married, ha. Honestly, if you like Disney, then good for you, I don’t mind. Even I do to some extent. I just don’t like some of their decision making, and some of their partly shady history. Perhaps I’m overthinking things, but that is my take on it all. But anyway, that is my in depth review, lol. Holy crap, this was long. Well, kudos to you if you stuck around. And thank you for letting me waste like, 15+ minutes of your life. You’re welcome.

[ampwich-blog]

What Star Wars The Last Jedi should be like

What I want from this movie: 1. Don't be a rehash!! Seeing those AT-ATs in the distance as speeders charge toward them in the teaser trailer is kinda concerning. And judging by what the last movie was like, I'm a little concerned going forward....2. More explanation to things, and don't rely on the viewers to have to read the books & comics to get what is going on. Explain what the heck happened in the last movie, (What exactly the First Order IS, and their backround. What the Resistance is and why they exist, and why the New Republic was sitting on their butts, having the Resistance do all the work in the last movie, etc. 3. NEW REPUBLIC ACTION! I don't want to see Rebel Alliance 2.0 the entire time. I want to see what the Republic military is like! I want to see them fight! I want to know all the efforts of the Rebels in the Galactic Civil War hadn't been all for nothing. (Plus, in Legends at least, the New Republic is pretty epic! Bring some of that to canon!) 4. Sort of riding on the last one, REPUBLIC POLITICS! What is it like after the destruction of the Hosnian System? Are they finally gonna get involved instead of having this Resistance do all the work? What are the stances of everyone now? How do people see the First Order? How do people see the Resistance? What do all the remaining politicians think? ETC. maybe some senate hearings or some crap to give insight to that.   5. Show us the new Jedi Order. What were/are they like? How did they start again and what has/is becoming of them? I don't just want Luke and Rey the whole time...... 6. Make it an even sided war, similar to the Clone Wars. Now that the Republic has been majorly crippled, looks like they and the Resistance are at even odds with the First Order. Along with whoever both sides choose to bring to the fight, like planet governments, private militaries, etc. Maybe everyone must pick a side now. Do they join this evil Rebellion known as the First Order? Or do they side with the Republic and want to keep the democracy that was not so easily restored in the last war? 7. Last but not least, make it interesting! Give us a NEW and original story. BLOW our minds with some crazy stuff we have never seen before in Star Wars. Give us new physical things like starfighters, (Was a bit disappointed with the last movie that TIE Fighters and X-Wings are STILL around....but hey, at least they look kinda different lol) troops, etc. as well as story and what not.