#yknow. im really lonely. i like. refuse to get new friends but i sorta really am. i just. dont rly wanna try.
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What the everything fuck.
#diary#personal#i stumbled across the fact that nvidia rtx 3090 ti is like. 1000 dollars cheaper now apperently????? like. wtf?#maybe i should get a computer sooner rather than later.#suicidal ideation#also i just woke up from a dream. it was close to a nightmare really....#it was nice bc i had friends. but i think they were ones i used to have now its making me more sad.#i... sorta didnt notice when i woke up bc i was so focused on the last thing that happened and the pain.#yknow. im really lonely. i like. refuse to get new friends but i sorta really am. i just. dont rly wanna try.#haha. it sucks. i was excited for today but now i kinda wanna die?#idk. i was just reading something to distract me from the nightmare but it was something distressing.#im really tired. i really dont want to go to work this week. haha. not that i get a choice.#...in the end isnt this really all my fault. it really always has be.#im tired. i dont want to do anything today. but i have to. so lets have a bet for how badly today will go.#do ya think that ill have a harder and harder time and eventually shut down inside.#or do you think im overreacting and once i do it it wont be so bad.#hm. i hope today isnt too bad. i have to work tomorrow afterall.#self harm#hah. i want to hurt myself.
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