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#yoongi x daughter reader
2hightocare · 4 months
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SNOW IMPRINTS ✷
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“I’m grown, I’m not dipping my dick in the snow to compare dick sizes.”
Synopsis: What was supposed to be a family reunion, ends in comparing dick sizes.
Genre: established relationship! married au!
Pairings: DILF!Jungkook x fem!reader
Warnings: Jungkook being whipped as fuck, Jungkook being a girl dad! (Cute.) a lot of cussing, mentions of sex, mentions of consumption of alcohol, found family.. Jungkook is just such a cutesy dramatic baby!
a/n: hai… I disappeared for a bit but happy new year!! I read “unravel me” and it inspired me to write this super short blurb so enjoy Jungkook being a golden retriever husband. (Ignore all mistakes, wrote this while high) 🤍 Word count: 1.4k
“I’m literally the biggest DILF,” your husband starts again. Jungkook points to himself while Iseul giggles in his arms.
“If you don’t shut the fuc—“ Yoongi irks.
“No cussing!” You and all the wives jump in. A heavy sigh leaves your mouth because this is like the hundredth time you have told all the boys not to cuss when the kids are around. Not since what happened when you decided to babysit Ye joon.
“Jeon, get your ass in here!” You shout from the kitchen, hoping your husband can hear you from upstairs. You stare at the empty cookie jar you had refilled yesterday, and there was only one reason why they were gone.
“What, baby?! What’s wrong?” Jungkook runs down the stairs with Iseul in one hand and Ye joon in the other. The two babies laugh at the bouncing. “Did you eat all the cookies!?” You glare at Jungkook, your hands on your hips as your husband looks everywhere but your eyes.
“Actually… Taehyung stole some when he left Ye joon.” He explains as if that would change anything. Knowing Jungkook for ten years, you know damn well Taehyung maybe took three cookies and the other fifty Jungkook ate them.
“No more cookies.” You announce with a shrug not wasting any time and move closer to your daughter who’s in your husband's arms, who stands there with mouth agape.
“No mowe cookies dada!” Iseul giggles as she makes grabby hands for you to pick her up, wiggling out of Jungkook's arms as you grab her.
“Now what do you mean no more cookies?” Jungkook switches Ye joon to his other arm, mouth hanging open dramatically. “There were like three packs in there, and you ate them in a few hours, so no more cookies.” You dance around the kitchen with Iseul in your arms, her chubby arms wrap around your neck as she laughs non-stop. Contrast from Jungkook on the other side of the white counter.
“What the fuck, baby?” Jungkook literally whines as Ye joon giggles, his little hands in his mouth, drool dripping down his chubby cheeks. “Come here, baby, come with your aunt.” You make your way to Ye joon only to stop in your tracks.
“Fuck!” Ye joon beams, clapping his hands, smiling up at you with all his baby teeth showing, as you stare at him dumbfounded.
“No, no, no, don’t say that.” You quickly interfere as Jungkook is staring at you with wide eyes. “Fuck! Fuck!” Ye joon laughs as Iseul joins in.
“Fuck!” Another giggle.
“This is so your fault!” You point to your husband who is trying so hard not to laugh. “Don’t laugh!” You put a hand over your mouth, trying to hide your amusement.
“I’m not— fuck!” Jungkook slaps a hand over his mouth.
“How the fuck are we going to explain this to Taehyung and Ari?” you sigh with a slight laughter in your tone.
“Fuck!”
“We couldn’t get Ye joon to stop saying the f word for like two weeks straight; daycare was seriously about to kick him out,” Taehyung sighs dramatically as Yoongi stares at Eunbi, his wife who stares down at her tiny belly. Wondering if that’s going to be his case in the future.
“Let’s pray for the new baby to not come out like this little beast,” Jimin squeezes Ye joon’s cheeks, making him squirm in Taehyung’s arms.
Ye joon, three years old, Taehyung and Ari’s child, the second-born from the group and the most mischievous, he really doesn’t listen to anyone but his parents, besides Jungkook and you. His godparents. Jiho, first-born, Seokjin’s and Lora’s child. He’s about to turn ten in January. Iseul, third-born, Jungkook's and your child, two years old and the only girl at the moment.
Besides Eunbi, who’s three months pregnant, no one else is going to have kids anytime soon, well, that’s what they say.
“It’s cold; let's go inside, girls.” You suggest as you pick up Iseul from her dad's arms, as the girls stand up following your movements inside the house through the glass door.
“Give Ye joon to Ari!” Hoseok hushes as he swats Taehyung on the shoulder. “Babe! Take Ye joon!” Taehyung shouts. Ari laughs at how her husband has Ye joon up in the air like the Lion King waiting to be taken.
“Come with mama.” Ari picks up the boy in a puffer jacket, making him look like a big marshmallow before skipping inside, joining all the girls inside.
“So sad Seokjin and Namjoon couldn’t come... they really decided on that cabin instead of us, crazy.” Jimin whines as he takes a sip of his beer before placing it in the hole he made in the snow before snuggling into his sweater.
“Honestly, I would take being in a cabin with my wife a hundred times more than being here,” Jungkook playfully jokes, “imagine the bomb-ass sex in the woods,” He smirks with the rim of his bottle on his lips, making the rest of the boys roll their eyes.
“Crazy how y/n has you wrapped around her finger,” Yoongi chimes in, blowing into his hands as if it would make them non-cold.
“Not even.” Jungkook playfully rolls his eyes.
“Dude, you’re so whipped, like it’s so fucking crazy,” Taehyung joins in, as he laughs when the boys hum in agreement.
“Dude, you tried to wrap her in bubble wrap when she was pregnant because you swore she would fall and hurt herself,” Hoseok recalls two years ago. “She could’ve fallen down the stairs; I needed to take precautions,” Jungkook tries to defend himself but fails miserably.
“What the fuck is that for?” You question your husband who enters the main door with a giant bubble wrap roll.
“This is for your safety, baby, can’t have you falling and hurting yourself, so I’m wrapping the whole house like it’s a Christmas present.”
You stare at your husband who is speaking literally, “Jeon, you are not wrapping anything,” you warn him.
“It’s either wrapping this house up or I’m wrapping you in bubble wrap for nine months... your choice baby,” Jungkook shrugs, looking down at your laying body on the couch, hands rubbing down your two-month pregnant belly.
“Be extremely for real.” Your mouth drops open dramatically.
“Even Iseul in her two years of life has you pining after her; imagine when she gets a boyfriend.” Jimin brings up, almost sending Jungkook into a cardiac attack right there and there.
“Fuck no! No boys till she’s forty!” Jungkook points his finger to Jimin. “Or girls either!” He finishes with a pout, making the boys howl in laughter.
“Excuse the fuck outta me!” Jungkook shoots up from his chair.
Somehow the conversation steered with a lighthearted joke about who was the biggest, and suddenly everyone ganged up on Jungkook, talking about he had the smallest dick of all of them.
“We all know that Taehyung has the biggest dick here, let's be honest,” Jimin shrugs, which only makes Jungkook's jaw drop lower.
“Say less, only one way to find out.” Jungkook reaches for his zipper.
“Ayo, what the fuck! There are children here,” Hoseok rushes out, “we are not about to whip our dicks out to compare sizes,” he finishes.
“Of course not.” Jungkook makes his way to the snow, his back facing the boys as his zipper gets pulled down, and before everyone knows it, he spreads his arms wide, face planting in the white snow.
“Shit, fuck, cold!” He scrambles to his feet, tucking himself in as he shivers from the cold. Then, he chuckles with a grin plastered on his face as he points to the snow angel on the snow… and a perfectly shaped imprint of his cock.
“So who’s next?” Jungkook asks.
“I’m grown, I’m not dipping my dick in the snow to compare dick sizes.” Yoongi shakes his head, crossing his arms.
They all dipped their dicks in the snow to compare dick sizes.
“What the fuck! I swear it shrunk cause it’s cold, I swear,” Taehyung begs to the boys who stare at all the lined imprints.
“Motherfuckers, I told y'all I was the biggest,” Jungkook smiles proudly as he sees he is the biggest out of all of them.
“I can’t believe this, we just boosted his ego more,” Jimin sighs as he stares at his own imprint and then to Jungkook's.
The glass door slides open, making the five men abruptly turn around. Five women come marching towards them, “what are you guys doing?” Ari asks, with a big smile on her face.
“Nothing,” Taehyung answers a little too fast.
You stare at your husband, raising your eyebrow at him, and that makes him fold like a lawn chair. “We were comparing dick sizes in the snow,” Jungkook blurts out, “I won though!” He cheers, pointing to his snow angel happily.
“Fucking shit, y/n how are you upright?” Eunbi gasps as she stares at Jungkook's imprint. “Now we know why you are always so damn happy,” Yoongi chimes in with a grin.
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back2bluesidex · 5 months
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One of Your Girls - MYG (18+)
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Pairing: Gangster!Yoongi X Chaebol!Reader
Theme: PWP, SMUT
Wordcount: 1.2k
Summary: Min Yoongi has been threatening your father. But that's not the problem. The problem is that you wanna get fucked by him.
Warnings: Explicit sex, doggy style, unprotected sex (wrap it up), creampie, spanking, domish-yoongi, overstimulation, one night stand, mentions of smoking and drinking. NSFW!!
Minors are not allowed in this blog!!
A/N: Another smut, because why not.
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“Are you sure this is a good idea?” No Eul nudges you with her elbow, reminding you how questionable are the things you are doing right now. 
“Yes. The best idea I have ever come up with.” your pride spills through your voice as you reply without shifting your eyes from him. 
“But girl! He is a gangster! Do you know what that means?” your friend is now starting to be annoying. 
You shut your eyes, resisting yourself from lashing out on her. 
“Do I look like a seven year old to you? Of course I know what a gangster is, Eul!” You emphasize your point as much as you can. But you know your ‘idea’ would sound absurd to anyone. 
“Then why are you even doing this? What if he gets offended and he just… he just kills you?” No eul’s eyes are full of fear but you know it’s pointless. Rumors have it that Min Yoongi doesn’t kill women and children unless there is a very good reason. 
And killing you just because you asked him to fuck you? Seems like a far fetched thought. But you are not going to explain that to your friend, not right now, standing in the middle of a dingy nightclub. 
When you place your eyes on Yoongi again, his meeting has already ended and he is walking towards the bar island. 
“Omg omg! He is finally free. I am gonna go. Eul, just take a cab home and make sure Mr. Go doesn’t see you.” you speak hastily, already trying to beeline to Yoongi. 
“But Y/N..”
“Eul.. Go! Don’t just stand here. This is not the place for people like us. Just go home.. I will call you as soon as I am free.”  waving Eul off, you start walking towards Yoongi. 
He looks karismatic as he sips on his drink, eyes focusing on nothing in particular. His dark long hair reaches to his nape, his pale skin glistening under the dim light of the bar counter, veins pop out on his arms and you wonder how those hands would feel on your body. 
Your heels click on the floor as you walk towards the man but you can’t hear the sound because of the loud music in the background. 
What you can hear is the loud beating of your heart, which gradually increases as you reach close to him. 
“Is that seat taken?” you voice, making sure you sound confident enough. 
And then he looks at you with those dark eyes, you feel your soul leaving your body slowly. Yoongi doesn’t say anything. He only regards you for a few moments and you wait patiently for his answer. 
“What are you doing here?” His voice is sharp but you don’t understand if he is upset with you for being at this place. 
“You know me?” placing your question, you take a step towards him. 
Yoongi scoffs at your dumb question. 
“Do you think I went to threaten your father without doing any research on your familyline?” he cocks one of his eyebrows. 
You don’t say anything, rather you sit down on the empty seat beside him. There is no point in waiting for his answer anymore. 
But your mind briefly goes back to the day when he broke into your mansion, injuring all of the guards on duty and threatening your father by taking him aside. You were enamored by this mysterious, scary man and all you wanted was to be under his authority for once. 
“Did your daddy send his little daughter to deal with me? So that a bigshot businessman like him doesn’t have to be seen with a thug like me, huh?”  Man! Yoongi really hates your dad for whatever reason you are not aware of. 
“No. I came here alone, all by myself” you reply, sucking in a deep breath. 
“Alone?” Yoongi mocks you, as if he knows you are lying. 
“I mean alone with Mr. Go, my driver.” you answer and Yoongi scoffs. 
“And why did you do that? Why did you come here?” the fine hairs of your neck stand up at the low, husky voice of the man. Especially because he has scooted closer to your body without your knowledge. 
“I came here to see you.” 
“The reason?” 
“I want you to fuck me.” 
Yoongi’s eyes turn darker at your proposal. And your heart starts beating even faster. 
“Do you know what you are asking for?” 
“I do. We don’t have to be in love or something. Just make me one of your girls for the night.” 
Yoongi’s tongue darts out of his mouth and wets his lips but he doesn’t say a thing. 
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Your cries get muffled on the pillow, your wrists sting due to the tight hold of Yoongi’s rough calloused hand. But you feel euphoric. 
Yoongi’s fat cock hits your g-spot each time he thrusts into you. The lewd sound of wet squelching and skin slapping fill your ears. 
“Your rich cock-hungry whore! You really got the nerves of asking me for a fuck huh? You brat!” Yoongi’s voice is breathless and you want to admire it but before you could, a sharp slap lands on your bare ass. You scream on the pillow. 
“Fuck! So tight! Your pretty little rich boyfriends never really fucked you this good, huh?” he pulls his dick out of your entrance, leaves on the tip inside and then enters you again with full force. Your world starts swinging because of the sensession. 
“N-no- Nobody ever fucked me this good, yoo-Yonngi.”
Nother slap lands on your ass. 
“Did I give you the permission to call me by my name?” Yoongi pinches your clit with his free hand. 
“No-fuck- I am so-ahhh” before you could apologize, he starts rubbing rough circles on your sensitive bundle of nerves. 
“G-gonna cum.” you inform him while drooling messily on the pillow. 
“Cum.” Yoongi commands. And you let yourself go. 
Honestly you thought he was going to deny your orgasm and you were a little shocked when he permitted you. 
But your confusions soon go away, when he flips you, lays you on your back all while still being inside you and starts thrusting into you again. 
Your mind goes numb due to overstimulation. You barely can make out what’s happening. 
Your senses finally start coming out of the clouds when you feel hotness flood in your hole. 
Fuck! Yoongi just came inside you! 
“Get your clothes and leave.” he says as he pulls out his dick. 
Even though his harshness hurts you a bit, you know he is right. You should leave as soon as possible. 
So you sit up, grab your panty from the floor, slip into it and walk towards Yoongi for one last time. 
Yoongi has lit up a cigarette and the smoke makes it tough to make out his expression under the fluorescent lights of the motel. But you know he is staring at you.  
Reaching on your tiptoes, you place a kiss on his cheek and maybe that catches him off guard. 
“It was nice knowing you, Yoongi.” you say in his ears before taking your heels and walking out of the door. 
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Taglist:
@phenomenalgirl9 @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @sukunabitch @chimchimmarie @coffeedepressionsoup @meowstake @vonvi-blog @nochuel @chimmisbae @i-have-no-life-charlie
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casuallyimagining · 3 months
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Family. Duty. Self. || myg
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Less of Them - One: Family. Duty. Self.
NSFW. minors dni Pairing: Min Yoongi x reader Genre: arranged marriage au, established relationship, star-crossed lovers, angst, smut, fluff Word Count: 9,968
Summary: As the daughter of one of the oldest families in the kingdom, when the king decides that it's you he wishes to marry, you're forced to make a decision and fulfill your duty, leaving behind everything you've ever known--and the only man you've ever loved.
Warnings: weaponry (swords), language; nsfw: awkward first-time, hand-job, fingering, unprotected sex
Notes: Thanks to @oddinary4bts for really coming in clutch and helping with the smut and to both her and @daechwitatamic for encouraging me to make it more sad.
The book mc is reading at the beginning is Wurthering Heights.
"I do know there are all kinds of barriers to love. I do believe the world needs less of them." - Lang Leav
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The snow began to drive thickly. I seized the handle to essay another trial; when a young man without coat, and shouldering a pitchfork, appeared in the yard behind.
The clank of metal against metal grates against your ears and jolts you out of your book. It’s a nice day, and you had some free time; you thought that maybe it would be nice to read outside for a change. But now, you aren’t sure that was the greatest idea you’d ever had.
…shouldering a pitchfork, appeared in the yard behind. He hailed me to follow him, and, after marching through a wash-house, and a paved area containing a coal-shed, pump, and pigeon-cot, we at length arrived in the huge, warm, cheerful apartment where I was formerly received. It glowed delightfully-
The soft thump of a dulled blade hitting the softness of a body and an exasperated curse again draws you away.
“Again,” a gruff voice commands, and there’s the clink of metal clashing briefly.
Another voice groans. “This is pointless.”
“Your father told me to teach you how to fight,” the first voice says. “Again.”
You roll your eyes. They’d been at this for a week now. You were starting to believe that maybe it was pointless.
It glowed delightfully in the radiance of an immense fire, compounded of coal, peat, and wood; and near the table, laid for a plentiful evening meal, I was pleased to observe the “missis,” an individual whose existence I had never previously-
Metal against metal once again, and then the clatter of a sword falling into the dirt. A frustrated sigh.
I bowed and waited, thinking she would bid me-
A soft thud, then, “Shit.”
I bowed and waited, thinking-
The shriek of metal on metal, then the clatter of a sword hitting the dirt. “Shit!”
I bowed and-
“Take a break,” the gruff voice says, and the second voice grumbles something in response. “Don’t go far. We have more work to do.”
You try to go back to your book, you really do. But then a body plops down under the tree beside you. Ever so gently, the book is taken from your hands. He keeps a finger in the pages to mark where you’d left off, but he turns the book to inspect the cover and the spine. He hums. It’s his book.
“You shouldn’t torture him like that,” you chide once he’s returned the book to your hands. “You know he isn’t suited for it.”
“Your father wants him trained.”
“You and I both know Namjoon has no business on a battlefield.”
At that, he laughs. “His form is really terrible.”
“Even I’m better than he is.”
“Is that right?”
“Oh come on, Yoon.” You roll your eyes and nudge him slightly. You both know you’re right. His father had trained you beside Yoongi, and while you hadn’t been as quick to the blade as the young knight, you could defend yourself well enough.
He stands, plucks the book from your hand once again, and leans in so that his face is mere centimeters from your own. “Come, then, my lady. Prove yourself.”
You roll your eyes. “You can’t be serious.”
“Deadly.” 
He closes the gap, lips connecting to yours ever so briefly. Even though the kiss is short, it sets your veins alight all the same.
“Fine,” you say when he pulls back. “To battle, then, Min Yoongi.”
He smirks, and you steal a kiss when he helps you stand. For a moment, he has the audacity to look offended, but you push him out of the way.
“Come on,” you say. “You wanted to spar. Let’s get it over with.”
“We’ll see how smug you are when you’ve been defeated.”
You shrug and follow him to the training yard. It’s only a few feet from the tree you had been reading under, but your back had been to it, and you’d been unable to see Namjoon before he left. Now, though, you can see that your younger brother had gone in a huff, his practice sword tossed carelessly to the side. You pick it up. It’s a bastard sword, longer than you’d like and a little on the heavy side, but it’ll do. You roll your wrist, testing the balance as you wait for Yoongi to ready himself.
As he turns to face you, you widen your stance. You know you look ridiculous, legs and arms wide, positioned better to climb a tree than for sword fighting. It has its intended effect, though, because Yoongi erupts into a fit of near-silent giggles, shoulders shaking and eyes crinkled at the corners.
“What are you doing?” he asks gleefully.
“Are we not fighting?” you question, deepening your voice to match Namjoon’s lower timbre. “Is this not how you do it?”
He almost drops his sword, he laughs so hard. “Okay, fine,” he says, body still shaking from giggles. “You can go back to your book.”
You smile. That hadn’t really been your goal, but you aren’t one to turn down an opportunity. You hand him the practice sword as you pass and open your mouth to leave him with one last quip about trying to be patient with Namjoon, but he catches your waist as soon as he can and pulls you flush against him. Immediately, your hands come up to rest on his chest, playing with the loose collar of his cream colored shirt.
“Can I help you, sir?” you ask coyly, tugging a little at the fabric over his collarbone.
“I don’t know,” he whispers, lips mere centimeters from your ear. “Can you?”
He kisses you then, properly this time, firm hands on the small of your back, holding you against his body. He’s warm and soft and solid, and you can smell a hint of the cologne you’d bought him for his last birthday. His kiss is slow, almost lazy, but there’s a greed in it, like he could keep at this forever if you’d let him.
You’re tempted to let him.
You slide your hand up his chest to tangle in the short strands of hair at the nape of his neck. You give a gentle tug, and he lets out a low whine.
“Don’t tease, my lady,” he mumbles darkly, pulling away just far enough to kiss up your jaw. “I’m afraid you’ll start something you aren’t prepared to finish.”
You never get the chance to respond. Namjoon calls your name, his voice floating down from the walkway that overlooks the courtyard. Immediately, Yoongi jumps away from you. Your relationship is no secret, but he’s always been shy, and you’ve long grown used to his fleeing any time anyone sneaks up on you.
Namjoon calls for you again, this time, his voice is closer, and when you turn, you can see he’s running down the stairs. He pauses momentarily, catching his breath for just a second before blurting out, “Father is looking for you. He’s received some official-looking letter and asked me to come fetch you.”
You hum and nod. “Alright. Tell him I’ll be along soon.”
Namjoon shakes his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You’d better come now.”
Your eyes drift to Yoongi, who stands now just off to the side. His cheeks and ears are tinged ever so slightly pink, and he busies himself with inspecting one of the practice blades. He must feel you looking at him, because his dark eyes connect with yours. You shoot him a look that you hope conveys an apology. He nods toward the keep silently before picking up the discarded sword and wandering off in the direction of the armory.
“Lead the way,” you tell your brother, gesturing in the direction he’d come from.
You follow him out of the yard, up the stairs onto the walkway and into the keep. Evening is starting to fall, and the attendants already have the sconces lit in the halls to stave off the darkness. You pass some of them as you go, and they nod respectfully–more to you than to Namjoon, but he’s younger and has never really cared about being deferred to in the way that you are. 
He leads you to your father’s study, and when you enter, you’re shocked at how full it is. You’ve always loved this room, filled to the brim with the finely crafted furniture made by the people of the forest town. Blackwood trees are known to have a delicate, earthy aroma long after they’ve been felled, so the study has always smelled as warm and inviting as it felt. Now, though, with the number of eyes that dart in your direction when the door opens, you’re uncomfortable.
The five of them sit at the heavy, ebony round table in the center of the room. Your father sits with his back to the window, his fingers steepled and his brow furrowed, papers strewn about in front of him. To his left sits your step-mother, a rare good day for her. She looks grim, but you get the sense that the pain she’s feeling may not be just her own. Namjoon takes a seat to her right. To your father’s left sits Jaesung, your father’s advisor and head of the armory for as long as you can remember. The look on his face is neutral, but you can see an anger behind his eyes. In nearly 30 years, you’ve never seen Jaesung angry. Beside him sits Seokjin, your elder step-brother, a fidgeting ball of nerves. 
“Come,” your father says gently, gesturing to the empty chair across from him. “Sit. We have much to discuss.”
You can feel a chill as you pass them all. Your step-mother, paralyzed by an unknown pain. Jaesung, poised for a war you don’t yet understand. And Seokjin, who refuses to look at you, even as you sit down beside him. 
It all makes you nervous.
Your father stands, the chair pushing out behind him as he leans forward, passing you the papers in front of him. It’s a letter, the wax seal on the envelope indicating it was sent from the Ironhold.
A letter from the king, you muse. What could he possibly want?
It’s no secret that there’s little love between your family–the Lins of Castle Blackwood–and the Chois in the Crownlands. The Chois have sat on the throne of Cotaria for hundreds of years, and the seat of the Crownlands for hundreds of years before that, and their customs have been around for just as long. They don’t like how your father rules the Westerlands, but there isn’t much they can do about it. The Lin family is far older and has had far longer to build ties, and you contribute more to the Crown’s stores than the Chois would care to admit. 
Your gaze falls to the letter in your hands, reading but not comprehending what it says. You fixate on certain words. Duty. King. Auspicious. Marriage. But no matter how many times you read it, no matter how long you stare at the neatly printed words in front of you, they don’t make sense.
The room is quiet. Too quiet. You don’t like how long it’s been since someone’s said something, don’t like how they watch you. Your mouth is dry, and it feels like you’ve tried to swallow a rock.
“This is real?” you manage, swallowing hard. When did your hands start shaking?
“I’m afraid so,” your father responds. His voice is soft, measured.
“And?”
“We did not ask for this.”
“And yet here we are.”
He sighs. “And yet here we are.”
You close your fist around the paper, crumpling it. Beside you, Seokjin jumps, startled. For the briefest of moments, you close your eyes.
Marriage to the king. A man you’d met once three years ago at his father’s funeral. He’d been miserable then, a spoiled brat too accustomed to getting his own way. You’d dreaded the funeral, dreaded being forced to interact with the young king, dreaded having to be pleasant to him. But you’d plastered on a smile and endured the funeral and feast. And now he wanted to take you away from your home, your family.
Your Yoongi.
You shake your head, forcing your thoughts back to your father’s study. You can’t think of him right now. “This,” you lift your fist, the letter still clutched tightly within. “I don’t really have a choice, do I?”
“There’s always a choice,” Namjoon blurts, immediately shrinking back into his chair. 
Your father hums. “You can decline. Your brother is right.”
“Jaesung?” The man’s eyes snap to yours, and you’re struck by how similar they are to his son’s–dark, cat-like, ever-observant. “If I say no…?”
He takes a moment, his head bobbing back and forth as he weighs the options. “Chances of retaliation are high, yes.”
“We would weather it,” your father says. “Our family has endured far worse.”
“And if they strip us of our titles? Take away our home?” You toss the letter into the center of the table. “Either way, we lose.”
“So just tell him to fuck off,” Namjoon says. Your step-mother frowns, and immediately, he wilts under her gaze. “Sorry, mother. But you understand what I mean. If both options are bad, pick the best worst choice.”
You glance up, above your father, above the window behind him. The family crest hangs there, centered on the wall. A sea of blue with green chevron, golden thistle in the foreground. The Lin family words are engraved into the bottom: Loyalty does not yield. 
Loyalty. It’s been ingrained in you since birth. To family, duty, self. All three in tandem. Now, though, they’re pitted against each other. Your family against your own desires. Your desires against your duty. An impossible choice.
You make eye contact with your father across the table. He nods almost imperceptibly and sighs.
“The steward arrives tomorrow?” you ask softly.
Jaesung nods. “Letter said they would arrive the day after it did.”
“Okay.”
There’s precious little to discuss after that. Jaesung is the first to go, the war in his eyes more fierce than when you’d entered. He doesn’t look at you as he goes. Your stepmother leaves shortly after, walking around the table to you. Her hands find your shoulders, skin cold against yours. She gives a gentle squeeze and kisses the top of your head.
When she’s gone and the door is closed behind her, Namjoon erupts. “You realize how ridiculous this is, right?” he asks. It’s directed toward your father. “They would never dream of doing this to any of the other old families.” 
Seokjin sighs. “They couldn’t.” His voice is soft, but holds all the authority of older brother.
Ever insightful, your step-brother is right. The Lin family is the only one of the old families that allows for a female heir, and even then, your father had only married Seokjin and Namjoon’s mother after his first wife–your mother–had died. You’d been here first. In your father’s mind, you were the clear heir. It helps that Seokjin, older than you by one year, has never shown much interest in leading, and between you and Namjoon, you have always been more eager to learn everything. But because all of the other heirs of the old families are male, they will never be put in this position.
You stand. Your head hurts, and so does your heart. You don’t look at your father as you leave the study, too afraid of what you might see.
You’d intended to go to your chambers, but when you get to the staircase, instead of going up, you go down. Yoongi’s chamber is at the end of this wing of the castle, closest to the outer wall and the library tower. Over the years, you’ve probably spent just as much time there as you have in your own chambers. But this is the first time you’ve felt nervous standing at his door.
You knock. You almost never knock, but it feels weird barging in right now, when you’re standing on the precipice of a future so far in the opposite direction of what you’d been imagining. The door opens, and there he is, leaning casually against the heavy, blackwood door. You must be some sort of sight, because almost immediately, he frowns, a small crease appearing between his eyebrows.
“Jagi?” he asks, concern evident in his voice.
It’s all it takes. You surge forward, hands coming up to cup his face gently. It’s easy to fall into him, easy to lose yourself in his kiss. He lets you push him back into his room, shutting and locking the door behind you in one easy motion. 
He laughs a little as you kiss up his jaw. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
You don’t answer. Right now, you just want to lose yourself in him. The room is not large, and you’re able to push him toward the bed in only a few steps. He pauses when his legs hit the edge of the goose feather mattress. Gently, you push and he falls backward, his hands on your waist pulling you down with him.
You hover over him for a moment, just holding his gaze, losing yourself in the dark eyes you’ve come to love so much. You wonder if he’s able to read the distress in your eyes–maybe he is, because he pulls you down in a kiss that leaves your mind spinning, as his hands tighten on your waist ever so slightly.
His tongue hesitantly darts out to meet your lips, and surprised, you pull away to meet his gaze again. His cheeks are slightly flushed pink, and his lips glisten prettily in the light of the sconce on the wall. 
You survey his features carefully, feeling your own cheeks turning red as you realize that you don’t want to stop. Not tonight. You want to be able to feel him at least once before you have to go. You bend down again to capture his lips in a languid kiss, welcoming his tongue against your own the moment he does it again.
You gently move your hands up his frame, burying them in his soft hair as he wraps his arms around you to pull you flush against him. You have half a thought that you’ll crush him, but you can’t bring yourself to care as his tongue awkwardly swipes at yours again, earning a breathy sound from you that you’ve never made before.
It startles both you and him, and you pull away from the kiss once more, meeting his gaze.
“What was that?” he asks, the flush on his cheeks having deepened from the prolonged kiss.
You find you can’t look at his eyes anymore, your own gaze sliding away. You laugh awkwardly. “I don’t know.”
He kisses your jaw to gain your attention again, but your eyes stubbornly stay away. That is, until he says, “It was cute.”
Your gaze shoots back to his. “Yeah?”
“Kiss me again,” he asks, and there’s something new in his tone. A desire you’ve never really seen, or maybe it’s just manifesting differently this time around.
Maybe he can feel the sense of urgency in the moment. But he doesn’t question you, just welcomes your lips against his the moment you kiss him again, unable to resist the pull of his gravity.
His hands move down your back, and hesitantly, he grazes his fingers over the curve of your ass, barely even touching. You feel electrified, like lightning is coursing through your bloodstream, and you bite on his bottom lip.
He grunts. He grunts and you know that there is no way you’ll stop now. Not when you sit back on his lap, hands resting on his chest to hold you up. Even through his linen shirt, you feel his heart beating wildly, echoing your own. 
And right where you’re perched, you feel the hint of his arousal, matching the arousal that’s slowly warming up your core.
You’ve touched each other before. It was awkward, neither of you really knew what you were doing, and you’d stopped, too afraid to get caught, too afraid of the consequences. 
Tonight though? You want to feel his skin on yours, want his warm breath to mingle with your own while you lay with him. So you grab his tunic, pushing it up until it reveals a small sliver of pale skin on his lower stomach. You look at it, admire it as if it’s art, and then you meet Yoongi’s gaze again.
“Can you take this off?” you ask, fingers shaking even though your voice holds firm.
He nods, sitting up so that he can remove the shirt. It brings him close to your face, and you can’t resist but kiss him again, molding your lips to his like it was always meant to be.
But not anymore. 
You push the thought away, wanting to focus on Yoongi, on this moment with him. You want to commit it to memory, to remember every plane of his body as he finally, slowly takes his shirt off, revealing more of his sculpted frame.
Being a knight has its advantages. And they show in the powerful build of Yoongi’s body, even though he’s a little more on the lean side. You gently rest on your hands on his chest, before gently caressing down, reveling in the feel of his warm skin under your fingers and palms.
He watches you, lips slightly parted, until your fingers graze the hem of his pants. But then he stops you, grabbing your hands in his.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs when your eyes meet his. “You really want to do this?”
You nod, breathing out a soft, “Yes.” You nod again, though your cheeks burn. “Yes, I want it. All of it.”
He gulps, eyes darting to your lips before going back to your gaze. “Can I take your corset off?”
The question sends your heart into overdrive, yet you agree, guiding his hands to the knot at the top of the corset. You notice his fingers shaking as he slowly starts untying it, much like your own fingers are trembling, and you let out a small chuckle.
It’s unexpected, and a little awkward, yet it feels right in this moment with him. He laughs lightly as he struggles, a sound that makes you feel like you could soar in the sky beside the ravens and falcons of the Blackwood. 
Maybe, if you could fly, you’d never have to go to the Ironhold.
Again, you push the thought away to focus on Yoongi’s fingers as they struggle with the laces. He curses under his breath, which makes you chuckle again.
“Let me help,” you tell him, and he begrudgingly lets you take the lead, the tip of his ears red.
You’re much more efficient, and soon enough, you’re able to undo the lacing and take off the stupid garmetn, leaving you in just your linen tunic. Yoongi runs his hands up your sides, dragging the fabric of your shirt up, and your breath hitches in your throat when he slides his hands under the fabric.
His fingers leave a trail of goosebumps on your skin, and he brings his hands up until he’s able to grab your breasts, squeezing lightly. He grunts softly again, and you feel something twitch under your lap.
“Yoongi,” you breathe out.
He doesn’t look at you, just keeps staring at the spot where his hands cover your breasts, hidden beneath your shirt. You take that as a cue to pull the fabric off, and you throw it to the side, to meet his own shirt where it fell to the floor.
Yoongi stares at your chest, eyes slightly widened, cheeks flushed, and his breathing is quicker than usual, as if he’s been sparring for a while. It makes you feel powerful to know that you’re the one with this effect on him, and you smile down at him when he finally meets your gaze again.
“You really are so beautiful,” he says again, as if in awe. 
You blush at the compliment, leaning down so that you can kiss him again. To your surprise, his hands leave your breasts to rest flat on your back, and you almost screech when he spins you around, until he’s lying on top of you. 
As he’s hovering over you, Yoongi stares down at you, chest moving fast from his quick inhales and exhales. 
“Sorry, my lady,” he apologizes at the look on your face.
You chuckle shyly. “Wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.”
He pecks your cheek, smiling against your skin. “I like taking you by surprise. Doesn’t happen often.”
You melt for him. Like the last snow under the spring sun, you melt for him. Your hand grip his biceps as he looks down at your perked nipples, and you feel like molten ore as he then traces his lips along your neck, down down down until he reaches the top of your breast.
He kisses there, once, before going lower, flicking your nipple with his tongue. When your hands wrap around his shoulders, he does it again, a little harder.
“Yoongi…”
His lips close around your nipple, and he sucks hard. You squirm at the foreign sensation, and Yoongi quickly meets your gaze, apologies written in his gaze.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” you immediately reassure him. “It just feels… strange.”
He nods once, and then looks at your nipple, now shimmering with his saliva. “Do you want me to do it again?”
You grab his face, pulling him up to kiss you instead. He doesn’t resist, and he sighs against your mouth as you run your hands through his hair. 
Yoongi is gentle. He always has been, but tonight he’s even more so, taking his time to take off your pants once you part from the kiss. He realizes that you’re still wearing your boots when your pants are around your calves, and he curses under his breath as he unties them and slides them off, while you laugh awkwardly, hiding your face behind your hands.
When he finally manages to take all of your clothes off, you look at him from behind your fingers, admiring how his eyes darken as he looks down at your pussy. You instinctively want to hide, to close your thighs together, and he quickly says, “Don’t… it’s…” he clears his throat. “You’re so pretty.”
Your hands fall away from your face, and you hold his gaze longingly, hoping that tonight will never end. That somewhere along the line, you’ll be able to stop time, so that you can dwell in an eternity of lying here with him.
But fantasies like that are works of fiction, and you can’t alter time. So when he stands to take off his own clothes, you quickly sit on the edge of the bed, helping him with his belt even though your hands feel clumsier than they usually are. Maybe because of the nerves wracking through you–it’s hard to tell, and you frankly don’t care.
Because this is Yoongi. Your Yoongi. You want this to be with him, a memory to treasure forever once you’re gone.
A few seconds later, Yoongi is out of his clothes too, and you think your heart stops in your chest at the sight of him.
You’ve never seen him fully naked like this. You’ve touched him, hands sliding in his pants to wrap around his length while you kissed. But you’ve never seen him, standing proud and tall and leaking precum just inches from your face.
It’s sinful, and you look up to meet his gaze as you hesitantly wrap your fingers around his cock, pumping quickly.
He winces, grabbing your wrist to stop you. “Not so fast,” he tells you gently.
You slow down, biting your lower lip, and then your eyes fall down the pretty expanse of his body until you’re watching what you’re doing so that you can do it properly.
Or at least, what you assume is proper.
Yoongi grunts softly as you jerk him off, hips thrusting forward instinctively once in a while. Something wet is pooling between your legs, and all you can do is look at him, at the tip leaking with precum. He’s rock hard under your fingers, rigid veins and velvety soft skin, and it makes your heart race in your chest with every swift motion of your wrist.
“Stop,” Yoongi lets out, sounding out of breath. “Or I… I won’t be able to do more.”
You let go of him, hand sheepishly falling in your lap. Yoongi sits next to you, and he gently pulls you closer. This kiss is softer, slowly, born of the love between you and him.
He pushes you down until you’re lying on the bed again and climbs on top of you. You spread your legs for him, wrapping them around his waist, which leads to the head of his cock rubbing against your entrance.
You let out a soft moan that has him pull away. 
“Does it hurt?” he asks.
You laugh. “No, you’ve barely touched me yet.”
He seems conflicted for a while, brows furrowing. “Should I touch you first?”
“I don’t… know,” you admit.
You both exchange a look, and Yoongi quirks an eyebrow before finally deciding for the two of you, kneeling between your legs. His eyes drop to your pussy once more, and he hesitantly brings a hand to the apex of your thighs. You stiffen, waiting for his touch, and the moment one of his fingers slides between your folds, a volcano erupts inside of you.
He slowly pushes in, stopping at the first knuckle to gauge your reaction. When you don’t give any sign of discomfort, he finishes pushing in, until most of his finger is swallowed by you.
“It’s so tight,” he says, but there’s barely any lust behind it. Just curiosity, which makes you laugh. He chuckles, eyes crinkling at the corners as he watches you. And then he starts moving his finger again. “How does it feel?”
“Strange,” you admit. “Good?”
Though you say it like a question, he nods. And he keeps at it for a while, slowly fingering you. The sensation is new but not unpleasant, the slow drag of his finger against your walls, the slight arch of it as he pushes in and out. It makes you want more, and you blindly grope for his cock, though your hand falls short and lands on his thigh instead.
“Is something wrong?” he asks.
“I think I want you.”
He stops moving his finger, before pulling it out to return to his previous position. Suddenly bold, Yoongi holds the base of his cock so that he can rub it on your pussy, and his lips parted as he looks down at you.
You moan softly, and he watches you for a moment, never pushing in. Once again, he asks, “You’re sure?”
You nod. “Please.”
It doesn’t take him more to push in, slowly. It hurts, and your face contorts in pain, which makes him stop between your legs.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he says, about to pull out.
“No, it’s…” You wrap your legs so tight around him that he can’t move. “They say it’s supposed to hurt. At first.”
“Oh?”
You shrug. You’d heard the handmaids gossiping, and after a while, you’d just accepted it as fact.
He nods once, before gently caressing your thighs. “Let me know if it’s too much.”
“I promise,” you whisper.
And though it really does hurt, you don’t stop him as he finishes pushing all the way in, stilling when he’s fully sheathed within you. There, he stops, leaning down so that he can kiss you again, his tongue dancing languidly with yours. You hold him close, bask in the feel of the weight of him on you as his hand finds your hip, his thumb caressing circles into your skin.
It takes a moment, but the pain slowly lessens until it turns into a numb sensation that you can almost entirely ignore. You nod. “I’m ready.”
He moves from your mouth to your neck, and he says against your skin, “I don’t know what to do.”
You hold him tighter. “Just move. I want to feel you.”
He nods, and then he pulls almost all the way out, before pushing in again. It still hurts, but when he does it again the pain is less, and by the tenth time you barely feel it anymore. 
You kiss his shoulder, and Yoongi sighs, his lips ghosting on the side of your neck before he decides to suck on it, and the sensation makes you moan again, your arms tightening around you.
“Jagi…”
“Yoongi,” you breathe out like an echo.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to last long,” he admits. “You feel… like silk.”
You nod. “It’s okay.” You kiss his shoulder again, before adding, “Do you think you can go faster?”
He stops moving for a time, meeting your gaze. His dark eyes are filled with intensity, with lust, passion and love for you. He kisses you gently, thumb brushing against your cheek, and then he increases his rhythm. 
Your words seem to unleash him, because the second you let out a small moan again, Yoongi starts going even faster, and the sound of skin against skin fills the room. Even though it feels strange, you let him do it, keep holding him close, and soon enough, pleasure starts to vibrate in you, ignited by every deep thrust.
It’s a little rough, a little clumsy, but Yoongi’s pace doesn’t falter. He grunts in your ear, and you instinctively dig your nails in the skin of his back.
That’s when he loses it. He stills deep inside of you, moaning softly, and you feel his cock twitch as he releases. You hold him through his high, gently caressing his back even though he’s covered in a fine sheen of sweat–you don’t care about it. It’s him, and you think you love all of him. 
You breathe in and out, slowly, as he’s still deep inside of you. When he turns his head towards you, you kiss him deeply, trying to pour all the love in your heart into the act, trying to let him know that forever and always, he’s the one that you’ll love.
Eventually, the kiss ends, the need for breath overcomes it, and Yoongi lies next to you. When he pulls out of you, you feel his warm seed dripping out, and you blush at the feeling, at the dirtiness of it, though you don’t think there’s anything purer than what just happened between you and him. So you put your head on his chest, molding yourself into his side, content just to lay with him.
It’s quiet, your mingled breathing and the sound of his heart under your ear the only noises in the room. You try to concentrate on everything, to commit it to memory. The warmth of his body, the gentleness of his touch, the stillness of everything. It’s electric, the way his fingers slowly ghost up and down your bare arm. He presses the gentlest of kisses to the crown of your head, and you have to force yourself to stay here, in this moment.
You aren’t sure what prompts it, but his arm tightens around you. “What’s wrong?” he hums, tilting his head so that he can better see your face. “Are you okay?”
Until this moment, you’d been doing well, keeping yourself together as your world shatters around you. But the concern in Yoongi’s voice, it breaks you. You don’t respond to him, merely bury your face in the bare skin of his shoulder and try to stitch yourself back together somehow.
For the two years you’d been together, when you pictured your future, it was this–it was him. You’d loved Yoongi for as long as you’d known what love was. Probably longer. He’d been your best friend, your staunchest rival, your biggest supporter. You’d spent more nights than you’d care to admit sitting on one of the castle balconies and complaining to him about your brothers, and you’d listened as he’d lamented the rigidity of his father. Losing him, being forced to walk away, it feels a little like you’re losing a part of yourself. The part that feels safe, the part that feels loved, the part that could take on anything so long as he’s there with you.
He holds you close as you fall apart, the only thing keeping you from entirely shattering. He’s basically silent, and you can’t help but think that he must be so confused, which only serves to crush you more.
“I’m sorry,” you manage finally, wiping your tears.
“What’s wrong, jagi?” Yoongi asks softly. “You’re worrying me.”
You sigh. “I have been given an impossible choice.”
He hums sympathetically. “Whatever it is, we’ll get through it.” 
His confidence almost spirals you back off the edge you’ve barely clawed yourself away from. But instead of breaking again, you reach up to cup his face. In the silence, you study him, trying to memorize all of him–soft, round cheeks; button nose; dark, feline eyes. He’s handsome in a gentle sort of way. Skilled in swordplay, with a mind to match.
“Not this time, I don’t think.” Where to start? Because you should start. You owe him that, at least, after appearing at his door, bedding him, and then dissolving into tears almost immediately after. “That letter father got earlier? It came from the Ironhold. As it happens, our darling king is looking to find himself a wife.”
He blanches, a frown immediately replacing the concern on his face. “When?”
“Tomorrow.”
For the briefest of moments, he deflates, his head sinking deep into his silk and feather pillow. But then his arms snake firmly around you and he pulls you impossibly closer. He kisses the top of your head before nuzzling into your hair. You feel him breathe in deeply and hold it for a moment before he slowly exhales.
“I wish there was a way to get out of this,” you mumble into his chest. “But even your father said-”
“You don’t have to explain.”
“I love you,” you say desperately. You know he knows, but you need to say it. 
“We’ll get through it,” he says again. “Somehow.”
You don’t sleep. You’re pretty sure that Yoongi doesn’t either. You can’t bring yourself to miss a minute, so you lay there, skin on skin, listening to his breathing and watching the moon out the window. The night is slow, but not nearly slow enough, and eventually, the sky begins to lighten.
“I should go pack,” you mumble softly, snuggling into him more.
His arm tightens around you as he hums. “Want help?”
“You don’t have to.”
“No,” he agrees. “But I’m not ready to let you go just yet. And if that means I have to help you pack, then I help you pack.”
You sigh, resting your chin on his chest so that you can look at him. “I don’t even know how much I’m allowed to bring.”
“We’ll figure it out.” He sounds so confident, but looking at him, you can tell it’s a front. His eyes have lost the sparkle they normally have, and the smile he’s wearing doesn’t go beyond his lips.
You stall for a few more moments, but force yourself to get up. He helps you find your clothes and you dress quickly before sneaking out into the hall. It’s still early, almost no one should be up yet, but you have to pass both Seokjin and Namjoon’s rooms to get to your own, and Namjoon is known for keeping strange hours.
Thankfully, this is not the first time you’ve made this journey, and you know just how to move to avoid making noise. You manage to unlatch the door to your chambers with only the slightest of sounds, and you and Yoongi sneak in. He helps you light the wall sconces and a few candles, and as your room lights up, you sigh.
You suppose you should pack on the lighter side. The king’s letter hadn’t said… anything, really, about what awaits you in the Ironhold, but you suspect that whatever you bring won’t be good enough. 
Yoongi helps you fill a trunk with clothes. Or rather, he handles everything, barely letting you do any of it. He folds each garment carefully, like it’s made of glass, choosing his favorite garments like a sommelier chooses wine. You can’t read his expression, can’t tell what he’s thinking, but there’s a cloud over his eyes, and you know he’s lost in thought. 
You leave him to it, figure that maybe this is something he needs to do, and busy yourself with gathering other things you want to take. A few books. A figurine of a duck your father had bought for you for your birthday as a child. Your favorite blanket. A drawing that one of the artists in town had done of your family–your father, your step-mother, Seokjin, Namjoon, and you. There’s one of you and Yoongi, too, that you tuck into one of your more boring books.
You aren’t quite sure when it happens, but you look up, and suddenly, it’s light out. A knock at your door pulls you out of the trance of going through your belongings. Yoongi’s closer, and he reaches out to open it before you can even say anything.
It’s Seokjin.
He stands there, looking a little sheepish, clutching a burlap bag. You aren’t sure if he’s nervous because Yoongi opened the door, or if he’s nervous just being there in general. 
“Hey,” he says softly. “Do you–am I interrupting something?”
You exchange a quick look with Yoongi, and he shakes his head. “I’ll be back soon, yeah?” he says to you. And when you nod, he leaves you and Seokjin alone.
For a few brief moments, it’s quiet. Seokjin wanders silently and mindlessly around your room, looking at your desk, a shelf, your bedside table. But then he sighs, and a pained look crosses his face.
“What have we done to get here?” His voice is quiet, tentative, like he doesn’t want to talk too loudly.
You shrug helplessly. “I wish I knew.”
“There’s one good thing to come of it, I suppose.” He sighs once again, and this time, it’s dramatic. “Now you’ll finally have a reason to be a royal pain in the ass.”
In any other situation, you may have laughed. The two of you aren’t strangers by any means, but you’ve always been closer with Namjoon. Seokjin has always been far more interested in the artisans in the forest town than what goes on in the castle. You wouldn’t begrudge him anything, but you also annoy the everloving hell out of each other. 
True siblings, your father had once proudly declared. You hadn’t always been quite as confident as he was, but the fact that Seokjin is here now… well, maybe you’re closer than you’d thought.
“I uh…” he starts awkwardly, sweeping his bangs out of his eyes before rubbing his neck. “Got you something to take with you.” He lifts up the bag, gesturing with it slightly before handing it to you.
Confused, you take it. The handle of the bag is rough, the burlap tightly woven for strength even though the contents aren’t particularly heavy. Looking in the bag, you pull out a box that’s about the width and length of a book. It’s made of blackwood, the inky black surface polished into glass. There’s a seam that splits it in half, and two golden hinges on the left side. The front of the box is engraved, a gilded thistle stands resolute against the darkness. You slide open the latch on the side and open it. The box is empty, but there’s enough room to store things.
“It’s very pretty,” you tell him, closing the box gently and slipping the latch back into place.
Gently, Seokjin takes the box out of your hands, and with both thumbs, pushes the leaves on either side of the thistle stem. There’s a quiet sound of sliding wood, and when he opens the box again, a panel inside has been moved, and suddenly, there’s more room. He closes the lid, presses the flower of the thistle, and the sliding happens again.
He pushes the box back into your hands, his eyes not leaving yours. You have questions, but the intensity of his gaze says enough.
“How?” you ask finally. You doubt he just had this lying around.
He shrugs, shoving his hands into the pockets of his trousers. “I asked Haejeon to put a rush on it.”
You nod. Haejeon is one of the artisans in the forest town outside the castle walls. He makes games and trinkets. Your father has hired him many times to carve and build small ornaments out of blackwood, and he’s old enough to be your uncle, but when you were kids, he’d given Seokjin a puzzle box to play with, and ever since, your step-brother has been practically stuck to the man’s hip. Over the years, as Seokjin has gotten more and more interested in the creators and builders and artists, Haejeon has taken him under his wing in a way, offering guidance and friendship outside of the castle. 
“Thank him for me. Tell him it’s beautiful.” You hope to God you won’t have reason to use the secret compartment.
A noise outside the door draws your attention, and for a brief moment, Seokjin stares at the dark wood. But then he nods. “Probably Yoongi,” he says lightly. But when he smiles, it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll let you kids get back to it.”
But when he opens the door, it’s Namjoon that’s standing there. He’s still in his nightshirt, and a pair of warm, woolen pants hang a little crooked on his muscular legs.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d be up,” he says from the doorway, looking completely past Seokjin. You motion for him to enter, but he shakes his head. “I don’t want to stay long, I’m sure you still have plenty to do.”
“Namjoon,” you scold, barely any bite in your tone. Easily, he gives in, taking a few tentative steps into the room.
“I brought you this.” He holds out a book in your direction.
It’s bound in plain leather, and is neither particularly large nor particularly small. The pages are old and yellowed. The front cover is entirely non-descript, the only real identifying feature to the outside simply the word ‘Lin’ stamped on the spine.
You open it, and immediately you recognize it as one of the handful of tomes from Castle Blackwood’s library that details your family history. Its handwritten pages go back thousands of years, back to when Seinal Lin first settled the Westerlands.
“I thought that maybe you’d want it. To tell them about us.”
He doesn’t have to say who he means. If this turns out the way most royal weddings do, you aren’t sure when you’ll see your family again. These people who have been your life and your heart for over two decades will more than likely be strangers to any children you may have. This history that Namjoon has given you is more than just a book. It’s a reminder of who you are. It’s a lifeline.
Suddenly, you feel like you’re breaking apart again, but you fight it off, pulling Namjoon into a tight hug. He makes a noise of surprise but after a second, his arms tighten around you. You stand there for a moment, unwilling to pull away, and soon, you feel another body press against your side. Seokjin’s arms wrap around you both, and now you couldn’t pull away, even if you wanted to. 
As quick as it came, the moment passes.
“We should let you get back to it,” Namjoon says softly, a hand still on your arm.
They both nod solemnly, and then, just like that, you’re alone.
The silence is unbearable, the soft crackling of the wall sconces deafening as you’re left alone with your thoughts. Thanks to Yoongi’s earlier efforts, your things are packed, so there isn’t much left to do. You pull out your desk chair and sit, picking up your quill and twirling it between your thumb and forefinger. Thoughts swirl in your mind, and you pick up a piece of parchment.
Once you start writing, you can’t stop, and the words flow out of you as quick as you can write them down. You’re mid-word when there’s a knock at your door, and you hurry to finish and sand the ink.
“Come in,” you call, blowing across the page to get rid of the sand and excess ink.
You have the parchment folded by the time the door opens. Your suspicions are confirmed when a dark head of hair pokes in. Yoongi. He enters slowly, almost silently, and sits on the edge of your bed, watching curiously as you hold a dark green wax stick, melting it with the flame of a candle. You press your seal into the warm wax, removing it quickly before it can stick. The thistle stamp glistens in the candlelight, the wax still soft. You leave it to dry and turn your attention to Yoongi.
His gaze follows your every move, dark eyes soft with fondness. You pretend not to see the redness and puffiness that accompanies it. Silently, he reaches out, catching your hand in his own to tug you toward him. His arms hook around your legs, keeping you close.
“Father asked me to tell you they’re close,” he says softly, a pained look crossing his face briefly. “Word was sent from the first guard post.”
You hum and nod, running your hands through his hair. He’s changed his clothes, but his hair’s still a little tousled from your earlier romp. There’s still some time–the first guard post is at the bottom of the mountain, where the forest is still a thin stand of trees–but suddenly, your heart is in your throat. It hadn’t felt real, not really, but now… You push his hair back off his forehead once again and swallow thickly in an attempt to hold yourself together.
“I love you.” It just kind of bubbles to the surface, quiet but necessary. 
He squeezes the back of your thigh, a soft, “I love you more,” on his lips. After another moment, he releases you. “You should change,” he says quietly, standing.
He’s almost to the door when you stop him. “Stay.” You aren’t sure why you say it, but he freezes in place. “Please,” you add. And, after a brief moment of consideration, he nods.
You dress quickly, pulling on a pair of trousers and a new tunic, barely checking to make sure they match. Yoongi helps you with your corset, his deft fingers having no trouble with the laces this time round. When he’s done, you pull him close, wrap your arms around him tightly.
You are determined to not let go of him until you have to.
“Hey,” he says softly, leaning back away from you ever so slightly. Your hands stay around his waist, but he brings his hands between you to tug at the ring on his littlest finger. Carefully, he pulls your hand away and places the ring in your palm, closing your fingers around it.
“What-?”
“Take this,” he says, squeezing your fist.
You inspect the ring. It’s funny, you’ve seen it before–you’ve played with his hands countless times, looked at it while it was on his finger–but it’s like this is the first time you’re actually seeing it. It’s silver, the flat face of it etched with a shield, a sword standing at attention in its center. On either side of the ring’s face, thistle flowers bloom along the band. 
“Yoongi,” you protest. You don’t want to take his signet ring. It’s the crest of the Min family, the ring serves as a seal to press into wax. He needs it.
He insists. “Keep it. Don’t wear it if you don’t want to, but I want you to have it. To remember.”
“As if I could forget.”
Yoongi smiles at that, a soft, somber smile that curves his lips but doesn’t meet his eyes. 
The quiet that settles is interrupted rather rudely by the door opening. A head of dark hair and Yoongi’s sharp eyes peer in at you. It’s Jaesung.
“Lord John asked me to fetch you both,” he says, and you can sense the anger barely concealed in his voice. “They’ll be here soon.”
Yoongi nods, but you can feel him let out a sigh. 
“Shall I grab your trunk?” Jaesung asks, gesturing to the now full case behind you. It’s probably heavy, but you nod anyway. You’ve seen him lift heavier before, and you trust him to know his limits. You pick up Seokjin’s box and press the leaves, slipping Yoongi’s ring into the compartment before shutting it back up and stashing the whole thing in your trunk.
Yoongi trails behind you, his fingers grasped loosely in your own as you slowly and begrudgingly make your way through the castle. The wall sconces have been extinguished and the shutters have been thrown open, bathing the stone hallways in morning light. Instead of taking the back stairs you did last night–the ones which go past Namjoon’s and Seokjin’s chambers down to Yoongi’s–you follow the plush carpet down the hall to the grand stairs. They curve around the main hall, criss-crossing from front to back.
You pause at the first landing, just above the grand entrance. Yoongi stops almost immediately, his head falling to one side in confusion.
“Take this,” you say softly, handing him the letter from earlier. 
“But-”
“Take it,” you insist, pressing it into his chest. “Don’t read it now. Give it a day or two. Please.”
Your eyes meet his, and silently, you plead with him. For a moment, he stands firm, his grip on your wrist tight. But then he relents, shoulders sagging, and nods. “Fine,” he says, taking the letter from your grasp and stuffing it into his pocket.
The heavy blackwood main doors of the castle are at least double your height, and they stand wide-open now. Your father and step-mother are in the courtyard, you can see them out by the centuries-old blackwood tree that stands sentinel in front of the castle. You’d spent many days of your childhood climbing its thick boughs, throwing seeds down to pelt Namjoon as he sat in the shade and read. Usually, the courtyard is bustling with people–from the castle, from the forest town, visitors–but now, aside from your father and step-mother, it’s completely empty.
“Stop pacing, love,” your step-mother says. She sits in a chair just to the left of the sentinel tree. She must not be feeling as well today. “You’ll make yourself sick.”
“I fear it’s too late for that, Sara, my dear” your father mumbles. And when he looks up, he sees you and Yoongi approaching. “Ah.” He outstretches an arm, beckoning you forward.
When you’re close enough, your step-mother grabs your free hand, enveloping it in her own. Her hands are cold, and there’s no real strength to her grip. Yoongi stands close behind you, his chest practically touching your back as you hold the gaze of your step-mother. 
“Brave girl,” she says softly. 
“The towers sent word ahead of time. The envoy is in a hurry to get back to the Ironhold,” your father tells you. He’s stopped his pacing and now stands beside your step-mother’s chair. “We wanted to have time to say goodbye.”
You frown. Already, the king is not making a good impression on you. Between the sudden letter and the incoming envoy that feels more like an abduction than a transport, you’re certain that this is the worst decision you’ve ever made in your life. And yet, as you look back and forth between your father and step-mother, as you hold Yoongi’s hand, you know it’s probably also–unfortunately–the right one. 
Your father comes forward, his big hands cupping your cheeks. “You are smart,” he tells you, voice low. “You are strong. You are kind. Give ‘em hell.” He kisses your forehead and lets you go, turning almost immediately and walking toward the castle entrance to watch the road. You don’t miss the glisten in his eyes.
Your step-mother pats your hand. “I don’t think he will ever let this go. The Ironhold may say they’re doing this for the good of our two families, but…” She sighs. “I fear they’ve made an enemy out of the west.” She meets your gaze again, honeyed dark eyes big and sad. “Don’t let them dull you.” 
Carefully, she reaches up and unpins a brooch from the front of her dress. It’s beautiful–you’ve admired it since you were a kid. A mother-of-pearl thistle blossom inset into an oval of ebony blackwood. She stands, a little unsteadily at first, and you reach out to help her gain her balance. Without looking up, she pins the brooch to your tunic, right over your heart.
You hear the hoofbeats before you see the envoy, the clattering of a carriage and several horses enough to draw anyone’s attention. Jaesung arrives just in time; he and Namjoon place your trunk just under the tree beside your step-mother’s chair. Like a spectre, Seokjin appears to your left. They all huddle closer when the first horse appears at the gates.
It’s not really that large of a traveling party–two men on horseback, a carriage with its driver, and a supply wagon–but the sight of it has your stomach churning all the same. You’re glad you didn’t take time for breakfast, or you might actually be sick. Yoongi presses closer, your entwined hands hidden behind your back.
One of the riders dismounts–you assume the steward–and approaches your father. They shake hands, and you can see the man’s gaze flick to you as they talk. Yoongi squeezes your hand. After a moment, they come closer. Your father’s face is grave, almost ashen, as he gestures for you.
The whole exchange is silent. You dare not look at Yoongi, too afraid that if you do, you’ll falter or worse. But as you step forward, he refuses to let go of your hand. Only until you’re physically too far away does he loosen his grip, and as soon as his fingers are out of your grasp, you miss him. 
Your trunk gets moved to the carriage. The steward shakes your father’s hand again. Namjoon hugs you. Seokjin kisses your forehead. You’re passed around your father and step-mother and Jaesung. You refuse to look at Yoongi. And then it’s over. And you have nothing left to do but get in the carriage.   
The inside of the carriage looks lavish, with soft velvet covering the bench and luxurious curtains covering the windows. But when you actually get in, the bench is hard, and the fabric over the windows leaves the carriage dark and confining. It’s impossible to see out, but you do your best, pulling the fabric away from the window and shoving your face against the wood of  the wall. 
They stand there, everyone you hold close, clumped together. The carriage jolts forward, and even though they can’t see you, you wave. Yoongi is the only one that lifts his hand, and you hold his gaze until the carriage enters the forest town and you can no longer see him. 
Your heart hurts, and somewhere, deep inside your soul, you feel something breaking.
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your support means a whole lot, especially now when I'm low on energy and time. grad school is hell, but I wanted to post this to give us both some joy. please let me know your thoughts. I hope to finish this sometime this century, so please look forward to the next two parts!
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citrustan · 5 months
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slipping through my fingers [prologue] (myg)
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pairing: min yoongi x reader genre: dilf!yoongi, exes and co-parents au, angst, fluff, smut summary: you've always thought you had it way too easy. all of a sudden, your life seems to be taking a few unexpected turns. it's time your luck ran out. word count: 1.4k warnings: none, you're all good > : )
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The soft whirring sound of the radiator echoed through your cozy apartment.
It’s homey and comforting to hear the constant hum in the background. Sometimes, you’d leave the window open for the cold air to enter your space just so you had an excuse to use your radiator.
Still, you ought to get that fixed up before your ex-boyfriend lectures you about getting a new one already.
It was one of those days when time seemed to have slowed down. As you folded your daughter’s fresh laundry, you went over your tasks for the day.
You were in no hurry because for once, you had everything together.
The living room bathed in the sun’s golden hue.
Your daughter sat on her favourite spongy floor mat, completely absorbed in creating her new art piece. Her fingers were covered in pink, purple and white paint.
Momentarily pausing, you take note of what type of paint she used.
Acrylic.
You sigh. That would be a pain to clean off.
After putting away the laundered clothes, you remind your daughter to get into the bath.  
You stood in front of her with your hand on your hips, “Nao, do you want mommy to run you a warm bath or would you rather shower?”
She simply hums.
“Mommy needs to shower too. You better get in there…” You walk away after adding, “Before I do.”
At that, Naomi instantaneously stops and rushes into the bath.
Naomi was a lot like you. She hated using wet bathrooms, as do you. But motherhood had changed you. Now, you’d do just about anything for your daughter.
As if you just remembered, you yelp, “Hold on! Let me clean the paint off of you first.”
You didn’t want your pristine white bathroom tiles to stain.
After bathing and dressing your daughter in a sage green cotton dress that you stitched yourself, you decide to let her watch TV even though it isn’t time for that just yet.
“Is daddy coming to get me today?” Naomi’s enthusiastic voice stopped you. It’s a bittersweet moment for you. On one hand, you’re happy that your daughter’s happy, on the other, you’re reminded that Yoongi and you aren’t together anymore.
“Of course, he is. It’s Friday!” You match her tone. She perks up and resumes watching the Barbie movie you put on for her.
Naomi would be distracted for a good thirty minutes now.
That does not leave you a lot of time for your ‘everything’ shower, but you were aiming high either way.
While in the shower, you let your thoughts wander to Yoongi.
He suggested you have dinner together because he had a few things to discuss with you.
You don’t think too much of it. It’s probably something about his upcoming business trip. You’ve got everything covered either way.
Your breakup was… inevitable. It wasn’t mutual at first, but you knew it’s where you were headed to.
After five years of dating, while simultaneously parenting Naomi, you wanted to get married. Yoongi didn’t.
You yearned for the validation and commitment of marriage, while Yoongi held steadfast to his belief against it. He refused to confine himself to a traditional marriage.
When you opened up to him about your insecurities about him leaving you for someone else, he grappled to reassure and console you. It worked for about a month.
Your differences, once manageable, had now grown into impossible divides, creating a rift that stretched beyond mere disagreement.
Self-doubt and a lack of validation destroyed your relationship.
The water had almost run cold by the time you finished your shower routine.
You pick out a sage green dress for yourself, similar to Naomi’s, just longer.
In no hurry, you moisturize and blow-dry your hair.
Even though you’re broken up, you still try to dress up for him. You don’t know why.
Apart from some lingering stares, there hasn’t been any sign of a reconciliation since you broke up. Yet, you always try to look good for him.
Although, that’s just who you are. You’d dress up for anyone. But, it’s still different with Yoongi. You especially enjoy his compliments.
The doorbell rang, forcing you to hurry and spritz on the first perfume bottle you touch.
“Don’t open the door! You don’t know who it is!” You warn Naomi, but to no avail.
He’s early today.
Naomi races you to the door, “It’s daddy!” You let her win. You rush to tidy up the living room as you walk to the door.
“You’re so early!” Your daughter clings to his leg. Yoongi laughs and drags his foot in.
“How are my girls feeling?” He smirks at you. “A little troubled now that you’re here.” You bicker.
Yoongi vocalizes a groan, “Why’s mommy so mean to daddy?” He directs it to Naomi.
You smile and wait by the coat hanger stand to receive his jacket.
The apartment feels a little livelier every time he stops by.
“Why are you here so soon? I haven’t even begun cooking yet.” You walk into your kitchen to quickly gather ingredients to prepare a fresh pasta dough.
“No reason.” Yoongi cleared his throat, “Let me help you cook.” You gladly accept his help.
You assign both Nao and Yoongi to make the sauce and the salad.
Soon, your kitchen was filled with the clatter of pots and pans and laughter.
₊˚ ‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵ ˚₊
After dinner, Naomi spends time watching TV and working on her masterpiece.
In the serene quiet of your kitchen, the clinking of dishes echoed softly as you and Yoongi worked in unison, a familiar rhythm of cleaning up after a shared meal.
The warmth of the evening meal lingered; the comforting ambiance contrasted with the weight of the impending conversation.
Yoongi sighed for the fifth time that evening before you finally asked him, “What is it you wanted to talk about? Is everything okay?”
As you wiped a bowl dry, you stole a glance at Yoongi, noticing the hint of unease in his demeanour. Your heart fluttered with a sense of foreboding, sensing something amiss.
Yoongi paused for a moment; his hands still submerged in soapy water. "I... I have something I need to tell you."
You laughed uneasily, “I know. Spit it out already. You’re worrying me.”
The air around you felt heavier.
You set down the dishcloth, turning to face him, a sense of apprehension settling in.
Yoongi stared back into your eyes.
"I... I'm getting engaged," Yoongi finally uttered, his words hanging heavily in the air.
WHAT?
The world seemed to pause for a moment as you tried to process his words.
Your chest tightened, emotions swirling within you—a mix of surprise, disbelief, and an (un)expected pang of sorrow.
You searched his eyes for reassurance, for any sign of hesitation or doubt.
"Engaged?" Your voice was barely a whisper.
You’re hoping he misspoke. Maybe he’s getting engraved or encased or embraced.
Yoongi nodded, his expression a blend of remorse and an unspoken plea for understanding. "It's been on my mind for a while."
“Has it, now?” You scoffed.
WOW, really?
You didn’t even know he was seeing someone like that.
Even though you’re broken up, you feel cheated on in some way.
“I don’t know what to say.” You deadpan.
Your conversation was interrupted by the distant sound of Naomi's laughter, a stark reminder of the delicate balance you maintained for your daughter's sake.
"I wanted you to know first," Yoongi added softly, his eyes a mosaic of regret and an unspoken apology. One that you don’t want to acknowledge or accept.
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you look down at your floral dishcloth.
You have a lot of questions but you don’t really want answers to all of them.
Yoongi feels ashamed of himself. But he knew he’d have to have this conversation with you someday. The sooner the better. He thoroughly beat himself up for this too.
You excused yourself promptly, “I’ll check on Nao.” Yoongi simply nodded.
Alone in the quiet of the short hallway that connects the kitchen to your living room, you leaned against the wall. A mix of emotions threatened to overwhelm you. You took a deep breath, bracing yourself against the ache in your chest.
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₊˚.🎧 ✩。 in my dreams by red velvet ₊˚.🎧 ✩。
note: this is a self-indulgent drabble series i'm writing, nothing is planned and i'll just write as i go
i hope u guys enjoy it!
find the series masterlist here.
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dreamescapeswriting · 4 months
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The Baby Blues ~ MYG
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WORD COUNT: 2.8K
GENRE: established relationships, husband and wife, first time parents, worrying about not being good enough, Yoongi comforting reader with her postpartum depression, helping each other
PAIRING: Yoongi x Fem!Reader
⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - January 2024
⤜MASTERLIST
A/N: I hope that I did this justice for you! Please let me know if I did anything wrong, I’ve never been a parent so i tried to do as much research on this as I could! <3 I love you and I bet you’re the best parent a kid could ever ask for!
TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of postpartum depression, depression, parenting anxiety, feelings of not being good enough, not connecting
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Water slushed around in the tub as Yoongi picked up some more bubbles and blew them into the air, a gummy smile plastered itself all over your daughter's face and he couldn't help but smile. God, he was so lucky to have you in his life as well as the little angel the two of you had created together. It was hard to believe that she was already three weeks old, it felt like just yesterday that the two of you took the test and found out you were going to be expecting.
"Who's the cutest little baby in the world?" He cooed, his voice slightly higher which was something he'd always teased Namjoon for but now couldn't help but do whenever it came to his own child.
"You are! Yes, you are, yes you are," He cooed as he blew some more bubbles off his hand and watched as they rained down all over your child. All of the worries that Yoongi had experienced before your daughter was born had melted away the second he held her tiny body in his hands. Sure, he was still scared of everything that came with being a parent but some part of him knew that he had this all under control. That no matter what happened he was doing a good job and he was going to be a good dad. 
As soon as you'd heard him in the bathroom you'd slipped out of bed, wrapping yourself up in the warmest dressing gown that you owned and you stood in the door watching him. How was this so easy for him to do?
From the moment that your daughter was born, it was like something had clicked inside of Yoongi and he was the most terrific father you'd met. There was nothing that worried him, he and your daughter clicked with one another and all it seemed to petrify you. While everyone around you seemed to be bonding well with your daughter you couldn't feel it, did that make you a terrible person?
Before your daughter was born you felt ready, you'd studied all there was on babies, you'd been to every single mum class that the hospital offered - sometimes even twice - but as soon as you gave birth all of that went away.
It was replaced with doubts, were you good enough to be a mum? Why weren't you able to connect with your little girl when everyone else seemed to manage it fine. The more you thought about it the worse it got, you found it hard to get out of bed every day, but you did it. Every day you forced yourself out of bed and tried to connect with your little girl, you did everything the books and internet told you but nothing worked.
Whenever she was with you it felt as though she was someone else, that she didn't want to be near you only Yoongi.
"Hey look, it's mummy." Yoongi cooed, interrupting you from your thoughts, as soon as he noticed that you were watching them together. He took hold of your daughter's tiny hand and gently moved it in a waving motion, the small action made your eyes burn and your throat dry up as you stared at them together. The vision of the bathroom began to blur thanks to the tears that were welling up in your eyes and you tried to swallow the lump in your throat but all of a sudden it was as though your throat was the size of a straw.
"I was just giving her a bath and I was going to come and wake you up. We figured mummy needed her rest," He told you but with his back to you, tears began to roll down your cheeks silently as he gently washed your daughter's body making her smile even more. You'd never been able to make her do that, you'd only ever made her cry when you spent time with her.
"Babe?" Yoongi called out, glancing over his shoulder at you to see you sobbing into your hands and he sat there stunned for a second.
"Baby? What's wrong? Did I use the wrong shampoo? I thought I got the right stuff?" He looked down at the bottle and then at your daughter, everything was right or at least he thought it was.
"The temperature was perfect-"
"E-Everything is for you, you do all of this right." You cut him off with a sob and he let out a sigh instantly knowing what this was. A few nights ago he'd heard you get up for the night feed and heard you crying and begging for your daughter to take her food but she wouldn't until he came in and your tears only grew harder that night. Things were finally clicking into place and he let a small smile onto his face,
"You're doing everything so well and I...I-I can't even feed her without you there," Sobs were erupting out of you, everything you'd been holding back all this time was now erupting out of you like a volcano.
Yoongi instantly rinsed off your child, wrapped her up in her small bath dressing gown and made his way over to you. 
"Let's go and sit down." He whispered as he walked with you and your daughter into your shared room, making you sit down on the edge of the bed as you continued to cry.
"I'm such a bad mum-"
"Don't you even finish that sentence," Yoongi grumbled as he gently swayed your daughter in his arms while standing in front of you. He knew that there was not going to be much he could say or do but he was going to be there for you no matter what. And he was also going to knock all of those feelings of doubt straight out of your head.
"I'm a failure as a mother, I can't even hold her without crying...I-I can't connect with her," You whimpered, sniffling a little as Yoongi stopped swaying and stared at you. How could you ever think something like that?
The whole time you'd been pregnant you'd been a rock for a very unsure and nervous Yoongi and now it was his turn to return the favour. Whenever he would get scared you'd remind him how ready the two of you were for this, that no matter what his head was telling you the two of you were going to be great parents.
"Baby, you're an incredible mother," He started but it was quickly met with a scoff from you. How could you be an incredible mother when you couldn't even hold your daughter without feeling nothing but guilt? Or Nothing at all. There was no in-between, there was only guilt or no feelings whatsoever. All you wanted was to hold your daughter and love her because you did, you loved her but there was just nothing there.
It was even getting to the point where you didn't want to hold her because you were so scared that you were going to break her. Everything made you panic, no matter what you did, or how you researched it. Everything was made worse.
"I'm serious, you birthed and created an entire human inside of you, don't you dare say that." He kneeled down in front of you, your eyes landed on your child who was staring up at you with her big eyes and you swallowed the lump in your throat. Your daughter was staring at you, you were supposed to feel something, anything, but once again there was nothing there.
"I-I don't feel anything, there's something wrong with me," You whimpered before the tears started to roll all over again and Yoongi looked at you. All he wanted to do was shake you and tell you how amazing you were but he knew it wasn't going to work, he needed to be there for you, emotionally and physically.
"There's nothing wrong with you, this is normal. Plenty of women go through this," It was true, you'd done your research on it but it didn't make it any easier to accept.
"Look out our baby, she's here with us and she's incredible because of you," He gently poked your arm making you smile weakly, 
"You gave her such a good home inside of your body and now here too. You're already an incredible mother for growing her inside of your body, for being able to create such a beautiful person." You nodded a little, doing your best to listen to him,
"Why don't you try talking to her? She loves it when we talk to her...She understands you," He tilted himself a little so you could see your daughter's face more,
"She loves it when you talk about everything. She listened to me talk about work the other morning," He chuckled weakly and you nodded a little, sitting up straight and nervously playing with the sleeves of your shirt. 
Why did this feel so hard for you when everyone else seemed to be a master at it? Talking to kids seemed so easy but when it came down to it, you had no idea what to do or what to say.
"Hey baby," You whispered a little, running your thumb gently over her chubby cheeks as she showed off her gums with a smile.
"S-She's smiling!" You whisper yelled excitedly to your husband who couldn't fight the tears in his eyes from seeing you so excited,
"You know, your dad used to run me baths like that," As soon as you started talking to her the words were flowing out of you. All doubts of not being able to talk to her were being melted away the more you spoke and Yoongi couldn't have been happier.
"I have to pee, can you hold her?" Yoongi questioned, he didn't actually need to go but he needed an excuse to get you to hold your child - at least for a minute or two,
"What? N-No. What if I do it wrong? We should put her in her crib," You rushed out, doubt creeping its way back into you as though it was a grey cloud on a bright day,
"Then we'll get her dressed together," Yoongi stated as he stood up, you quickly followed him toward the nursery with your eyes tracked onto your daughter.
"What if I hurt her?" Your voice began shaking as he gently laid your daughter down on the changing table and you looked down at her, she looked so happy and peaceful. Like a little doll, you almost didn't want to touch her in case she broke from a small touch.
"You won't," Yoongi reassured you, gently rubbing your back softly as he watched you anxiously staring at your daughter. 
You hadn't gotten your daughter dressed since the first day in the hospital, you'd always asked Yoongi to do it - or one of the boys if they were around because you'd been so scared to touch her but he was going to help you.
"But, all of the forums are different on how to change your baby. They all say you should do it in different ways, which is the right one?" Your eyes shot over to Yoongi as he took some clothes out of the wardrobe and laid them down next to your girl. It was a pyjama set you'd picked out when you first found out you were pregnant, there were little Shooky's all over them and you knew you'd needed them for her,
"T-Then your mum said something different than mine, what if they're both wrong?" Yoongi smiled weakly, it didn't matter what people online said, what doctors or trained professionals said there was always going to be someone with a differentiating opinion on the matter and no person was ever right or wrong about it.
"Everyone tells us what to do...W-What not to do, what if I'm doing it all wrong?" Without realising it you were already drying off your little girl and applying some baby powder to her, it was like your body was working automatically without your mind catching up.
"Baby, even if you got it all perfect there's going to be people who don't agree with the way you do it." Yoongi rubbed your arms gently as you stared down at the clothes in your hand, you nodded a little and took in a deep breath.
This was nothing, you used to change your cousin's clothes all of the time with no problems so this was going to be a walk in the park,
"You're a great mother, the best I know. Remember all that research we did. All of those classes and you were always on top of it all," Yoongi spoke as you carefully - very carefully - changed your daughter for the second time in her life. 
"There's no one better for this job than you baby," As soon as your angel was dressed you stared down at her,
"Pick her up,"
"I can't," Yoongi nodded his head, he wasn't going to push you too far tonight,
"I'm proud of you," He whispered, kissing your cheek softly before gently scooping up his little girl and walking her over to her crib, while he laid her down you gently wound up the mobile that the boys had made for her. All of the toys that were hanging from it were all BT21 members - the mini versions - and your daughter was the only girl in the world to have one of these.
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"I text the boys, they're going to watch her tomorrow for us," Yoongi stated as he gently used the sponge to rub body wash into your back. The two of you were sitting inside your huge bathtub, candles surrounding you with soft music playing in the background. The baby monitor was pointed so that the two of you could easily see your daughter and it was relaxing. Watching her sleep was helping your body relax and it wasn't just you that was noticing it,
"What? Why?" You shifted in place, craning your neck to look at your husband who smiled at you. It was like he was looking at a different person than he was an hour ago, your bags were still there but there was a sparkle in your eyes that wasn't there before,
"Because you need a little time and I'm going to help you," He smiled, rinsing off the soap suds from your body and then putting the sponge away, leaning you back so that you were laid against his chest and he could feel you close to him.
"But-"
"She will be fine, and when she's back I'm going to try something with you both." You arched an eyebrow at what he had in store for you and he gently ran his fingers up and down your skin,
"We're going to go back to basics, hospital basics, skin to skin with her." You remembered having to do that for the first few days of being in the hospital, she was laid against your bare chest and it was one of the times you'd felt closest to her.
"We'll keep talking to her, spending more time with her together and then when you're ready, you'll do it alone." The thought of doing it with Yoongi was calming but alone? Dread was already worming its way inside of your chest,
"How will I know if I'm ready?" Your voice cracked a little but Yoongi smiled rubbing your cheek with his thumb. You were ready, you just didn't know it or see it yet.
"You already are, we just need to remind you of it." He whispered before gently kissing the top of your head.
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"Yn," Yoongi groaned as he rolled over in the bed, feeling around in the sheets to try and find you but you weren't there. In a second he sat up in the bed looking around for you and then to the bedside crib for his daughter but it was empty.
"YN?!" He called out louder, getting up and running into the bathroom but there was no sign of you in there and he sprinted across the hall to the nursery. The door slowly crept open and he let out a breath finding you on the rocking chair gently rocking your daughter back to sleep,
"She started fussing so I took her away so we wouldn't wake you," You told him as he made his way toward you. It had almost been a week since the two of you started working on your relationship with your daughter, having her sleep in a crib beside you had been a massive help.
"You did it alone." He whispered proudly of you as you glanced up at him with a giant grin on your face, you knew that there would have been no way you could have done this without Yoongi by your side and everyday you were grateful to have him.
"I had a great teacher," He blushed, leaning down and kissing you softly. He couldn't have been any prouder than he was right now.
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@chiisaiblog @sw33tnight @kaitieskidmore97 @laylasbunbunny @tinyoonsblog @whitefoxgirl @katnisspeetaprim @acciocriativity @choisoorin @heyjiminnie @btsiguess-kpop @halesandy @gothic4under4lord @soulphoenix1618 @aerastus @jin-from-the-block @lenfilms @elizaschuyler18 @piratequeen-impact @namgiswife @delulu18 @xyahrinx @katsukis1wife @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan @blairscott @4-chan-inpadella @swga-ficrecs @kpopmenace143 @loveforred @b1nn1e-1s-cut3 @niktwazny303 @armystay89 @myyouthdonut @kittymaryam-thebrowniefairy
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your innocence is mine
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pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Female Reader word count: 1444 warnings: smut, vaginal fingering, unexperienced & virgin reader, virginity kink AO3 A/N: request - Hello! I love your work, could I ask you a request about Jungkook strong/intimidating aura but soft towards the reader who is shy, inexperienced and shy?🥺it turns him on but at the same time he feel protective towards her innocence. I would love to read a smut interactions between this two 🥺✨ Hope you like it and that you have a wonderful day wherever you are💜
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Everyone in town had either met or heard of Jeon Jungkook at some point in their lives.
His reputation was one that was followed by whispers, one could never speak too loud, you'd never know who might be listening and one can never be too cautious.
He wasn't as bad as the dreaded Min Yoongi, whose name one was actually forbidden to speak if they what was good for them, but it was still wise to not mess with either of them.
But, much like the saying goes, every man has his weakness. His was you.
In everyone's eyes, you were just the quiet girl who kept to herself and never missed Sunday's sermon.
But to Jungkook you were the light at the end of the tunnel, the one capable of silencing his thoughts and worries by simply smiling at him.
Oh that smile of yours, the things it would do to him.
The two of you had met on a summer afternoon, Jungkook was walking around town after finishing his day job when he first saw you walking out of a candy store. It had been love at first sight. He stroke up a conversation immediately, going as far as walking you home without even noticing.
Ever since then the days had been filled with spending time together, from pleasant conversations about everything and nothing, to just enjoying each other's company, especially when he would show up unannounced at your doorstep.
So much so that Jungkook ended up losing his job, not that he cared much about it since he would had it to keep himself entertained until nighttime came around.
What astonished him the most however, was that, you knew of everything he had done - the good, the bad, and the ugly - and yet, you weren't afraid of him like everyone else. In fact, you actively encouraged him to tell you everything, your backyard was the confession booth, you were the priest, and he was the penitent.
Your parents didn't approve, that wasn't surprising, but while your mother was too afraid of him to ever say anything, your father had not. Many were the times Jungkook had been kicked out of the house, but the young man would always come back, all for you. It was your innocence that kept drawing him back to you.
Despite listening to his every word, you could never hide the shock, and sometimes even excitement, in your eyes. It was almost like you lived in a sheltered world of your own.
The first time you had kissed, the touch of lips couldn't have lasted a minute, slow and sweet, but the reaction you had afterward - wide eyes in shock, biting your bottom lip trying to hide your smile, hiding your face in your hands so that he couldn't see it - all of it had stirred something in him, something he hadn't felt before.
Your innocence made things hard for him, both figuratively and literally, every day afterward he was haunted by never-ending thoughts of making you such a slut for him that no other man could ever compare. It would be the death of him.
But not for long.
Your parents had to leave on a business trip for the weekend and, despite objecting, they knew that you'd be safe with Jungkook by your side. If only they knew what he was thinking about doing to their precious daughter, they would've taken you with them in a heartbeat.
Jungkook was in your house as soon as your parents had left, knocking on your door not even five minutes later. You were surprised to see him but invited him in anyway, both of you taking a seat on the couch.
It wasn't long before your idea of watching tv and spending time together turned into something else.
It started with Jungkook softly spreading pecks from your shoulder to your neck before biting the flesh, due to the unexpected pain you turned to face him, only to have Jungkook crash your lips together.
The kiss started out slow but it got bolder once you felt his hand starting to rise up, going from your knee to the inside of your thighs.
"W-wait, wait," your hands found purchase on his chest as you pushed him slightly off of you. "J-jungkook wait."
"What's wrong? Is everything okay?" the way you avoided looking at him said more than words could ever. "Do you want me to stop?" you shook your head, eyes remaining on the floor. "Then what's wrong baby?"
"It's just that -" you finally looked at him, feeling yourself blush once again. "I-I don't, I don't know what I'm doing."
Jungkook let out a groan at your confession, suddenly feeling like his jeans had become tighter.
Unfortunately, that seemed to have the opposite effect on you as you curled up, hugging your legs close to your chest, and avoided looking at him.
Muttering curses to himself, Jungkook quickly composed himself before talking. "It's okay baby," he spoke in a soft tone, taking hold of your chin so you would face him. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to."
He let go of you and stood up to take care of his problem in the bathroom, but before he could even take a step Jungkook felt your hand grab his. He turned to face you but you still refused to do the same.
"I-I don't want you to stop," your hand gripped his tightly. "I-I'm just nervous."
He crouched down until he was at eye level with you, took your chin in his fingers, and forced you to look at him. "It's okay baby, we can stop whenever you want," he ran his fingers through your hair. "The important thing is that you're comfortable."
You nodded before speaking in a soft voice. "Okay, I trust you,"
As carefully as he could, Jungkook made you lay down on the couch, climbing on top of you just as carefully. "Remember," he said, spreading kisses down your neck. "If you ever want to stop-"
"I-I'll tell you," you interrupted, leaning your head against the arm of the couch and giving him better access to your neck.
As Jungkook spread bite marks on your neck and collarbones, his left hand groped your breast for a while before slowly descending down your body until it reached the hem of your skirt, which he pulled up. Your panties were pure white, a fitting color he thought to himself.
He kept on you as his fingers started rubbing you through your underwear, your soft quiet moans were music to his ears.
While looking at your face, Jungkook decided that he would take your first time while fully clothed, not wanting to overwhelm you too much. He would have the rest of the weekend to make you comfortable enough with him.
He pushed your panties to the side, rubbing your wetness around your slit before inserting a finger inside, making you gasp at the foreign feeling.
"How does it feel baby?" he thrusted into you slowly, wanting you to get used to the feeling. "You good?"
"I-It's d-different," you moaned out. "B-but g-good."
He gave you one of his bunny smiles. "I'm gonna put a second finger in, okay?"
You nodded and let out a loud moan when he inserted a second finger in you, switching between curling his fingers and thrusting into you.
"J-jungkook," you kept moaning his name like a mantra.
Your walls clenching around his fingers, telling him that you were close, making him speed up his thrusts, becoming rougher and faster.
With one last loud moan of his name, you broke apart for him, releasing all over his hand as your legs started to feel like jello.
Jungkook pulled his fingers slowly from you, making you whimper at the sudden feeling. He kept his eyes on your breathless figure as he sucked your juices from his fingers.
Afterward, he left to pick up a towel to clean you up, and as he did he noticed your confused look, of which he reached to leave a kiss on your forehead. "You did good baby,"
"I-Is that all?" you asked softly.
"It's enough for now," he gave you another peck. "We'll take baby steps until you feel comfortable," he ran his fingers through your hair once more. "I'll wait for as long as I have until you fully give yourself to me, no matter how long."
You whined and reached to kiss his lips and then wrapped your arms around him, feeling loved by the one everyone seemed to fear.
You knew you'd be alright with Jungkook by your side, come rain or shine.
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7ndipity · 5 months
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“I Missed This”
Yoongi x Reader
Summary: You and Yoongi catch up on some alone time together after the arrival of your baby.
Word Count: 1.7k
Warnings: +18 mdni, soft smut, protected sex(wrap it up, folks!), Yoongi’s a lil sensitive, not proofread
A/N: Thanks to @vicky-chaos for this request! Love you!
Masterlist
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You don’t know why you were so fluttery as you straightened up the bedroom for what felt like the tenth time that evening, biding your time till Yoongi got home from the studio.
Everything was set, the bed was made, you’d done your hair and put on a touch of makeup, you were wearing one of your simple pajama sets that you knew Yoongi liked, you’d even lit a few vanilla scented candles to set the mood, now all that was missing was your sweet husband.
As you waited, you tip-toed across the hall to check on your daughter, Soyeon, who was still sound asleep in her crib. You leaned against the railing, feeling your heart swell as you watched her little chest rise and fall with each breath.
When you married Yoongi, you didn’t think it was possible to love anything else as much as you loved him, but you’d both found out it was very much possible when those two little lines had appeared on the pregnancy test. Somehow, your heart had managed to expand, growing to hold your love for both of them, your perfect little family, your universe.
Your heart skipped a beat as you heard the front door open and close, quietly slipping out of Soyeon’s room and back across the hall, situating yourself on the bed just before Yoongi walked in.
“Hi.” You smiled at him.
“Hey.” He returned your smile tiredly, coming over to kiss you gently before settling beside you on the edge of bed with a sigh. “How was your day?”
“Mine was good,” You said, moving to rub his shoulders. “What about yours?”
“Long, rehearsals took forever.” He hummed, leaning back into your touch. “Is Soyeon asleep already?”
“Yep, I managed to get her to sleep a bit early tonight.” You pressed a kiss to the side of his neck, making him release another soft sigh. “Thought we could use some time alone together tonight, just us.” You mused, trailing a hand down across his stomach.
He stilled, turning to look at you wide-eyed, searching your face to make sure he was understanding correctly.
“Are-, are you sure? I mean, it’s not too soon or-?”
“I had my six week checkup yesterday.” You assured him, pressing a soft kiss to his mouth to calm him. “Everythings okay, we’re good to go.”
That was all the conformation he needed, falling on you with fervor, kissing you with so much intensity it took your breath away. He swiped his tongue across your bottom lip, begging for entrance into your mouth, which you readily granted. His hands were everywhere, seeming unable to decide on what part of you to focus on first, finally settling on your waist as he pushed you to lie back on the bed so he could hover over you, settling between your legs.
“Fuck.” He breathed, eyes roving over your form, taking in every little detail of your appearance.
He always thought you were beautiful, but something about you like this, kiss bitten lips and flushed skin, made you look positively divine.
Yoongi had always handled you with a certain level of gentle reverence, and ever since you’d gotten pregnant, it had increased tenfold. Watching you navigate pregnancy and delivery with such strength and grace had left him in complete awe, and seeing you with Soyeon had made him fall even more in love with you, if that was even possible.
He suddenly understood why women were so frequently depicted as divine beings. You were the closest thing to a goddess that he’d ever seen; so caring, resilient, beautiful. And you were his, a fact that continued to leave him in disbelief.
“Yoongi.” You whined, tugging at his shirt in an attempt to get him to do something.
“Alright, Baby, I’m sorry.” He chuckled, shaking out of his trance, leaning down to kiss you again, much slower this time, savoring your taste as he delved back into your mouth, tangling his tongue with yours.
You used your grip on his shirt to push it up over his abs and chest, Yoongi breaking away from you just long enough to get it over his head, throwing it somewhere in the room before diving on you again, fumbling slightly with the buttons on your pajama top in his eagerness. Once he got it open though, he couldn’t hold back the low groan that rumbled in his throat at the sight of the lacy black bra you were wearing underneath, one of his favorites.
“You’re trying to kill me.” He groaned, making you giggle as his eyes fell closed for a moment, trying to compose himself but immediately failing as he moved to tug your shorts down revealing nothing underneath but your glistening cunt, already wet and needy for him.
Yoongi prided himself on always being so controlled in bed, so seeing him so close to falling apart already over just the sight of you, chest heaving and eyes blown wide as he spread your legs further apart, was a massive ego boost for you.
Slowly, he brought a hand down to your core, swiping two fingers through your slick folds before bringing them up to his mouth, another low noise leaving him as he tasted you.
Pushing yourself up into a sitting position, you pulled his hand away so you could claim his lips again.
“We have to be quiet.” You reminded him shakily.
“You have to be quiet.” He growled against your lips. “I’m not the screamer in this relationship.”
He pressed you back down against the mattress, kissing down your neck and chest slowly, pausing suck a spot on your collarbone as he let his hand creep back down between you to circle your clit gently, making you arch up into his hold.
Just as you felt the first hints of your release beginning to course through your body, he pulled away, causing you to let out soft whine.
“I’m sorry baby, hang on.” He said, digging around in the bedside drawer for a moment before pulling out a condom and quickly putting it on. “Wanna go with you, okay?”
You nodded, letting out a small shudder as his length rubbed against your wet heat.
His eyes shot back up to yours at the movement.
“Are you sure about this?” He asked, searching your eyes intently for any sign of discomfort. “It’s okay if you wanna wait, I can just use my fingers if it’s too much-”
“Yoongi, If you don’t get inside me right now, I’m going to fucking combust.” You giggled, bringing your hands up to cradle his face, stroking his flushed cheek with your thumb.
“I’ll be okay, please.” You whispered, pulling him for a soft kiss, lips ghosting over his as you spoke, making him shudder. “Yoongi, please.”
“Fuck, don’t beg.” He groaned, dropping his head against your shoulder. “I won’t last.”
“Then don’t make me wait.” You replied, combing your fingers through his hair.
He lifted his head to meet your eyes again, a ghost of a grin pulling at the corners of his mouth at your words. “Okay.”
He lined up with your entrance, hesitating for only a second as he glanced up at you one last time before pressing his hips forward slowly, sucking in a sharp breath at the feeling of your warm walls wrapping around him tightly, threatening to push him over the edge before he was even fully inside.
He inched his way into you at a torturously slow pace, pausing every time your face scrunched even slightly at the stretch, shuddering as he finally bottomed out, pressing his forehead to yours.
“Shit,” He hissed, arms shaking as he held himself up. “Are you okay?”
“Mhm,” You nodded, eyes closed as you adjusted to the feel of him. “Move, please.”
“Just a second.” He grunted, trying to compose himself. “If I move right now, it’s over.���
“Are you serious?” You giggled, looking up at him surprise.
“Don’t laugh.” Yoongi whined, burying his face in your neck. “This is serious.”
“Okay, I’m sorry.” You cooed, stroking his arm soothingly. “Take your time, Sweetie.”
Collecting himself, he rolled his hips against yours experimentally a few times before pulling part way out and thrusting back in gently, causing you both to moan in unison.
Slowly, he built up a steady pace, angling his hips to find the spot that made your eyes roll back in your head.
“Y-Yoongi.” You whined.
“You okay? You feeling good?” He panted.
“Mhm,” You nodded. “Faster, please.”
He did as you asked, bracing himself up on his elbows to stay as close to you as possible as he rocked his hips into yours. “I’ve missed this.” He breathed.
He made the mistake of looking down at where your bodies connected, watching his cock slide in and out of you smoothly, shining with your slick.
“Fuck, I can’t-, I’m close again.” He huffed, almost frustrated with himself.
“ ‘m close too.” You whined, holding onto his arms tightly.
“Cum for me, please.” He said desperately, fingers seeking out your clit to push you over the edge with him.
Your whole body twitched as if he touched you with a live wire. “Fuck, Yoongi!” You whimpered as your orgasm hit.
As soon as he felt your walls beginning to spasm around him, he lost it, a choked moan leaving his mouth as he found his release, hips stuttering as he tried to push you both though your highs.
He stilled as you both fought to catch your breath, a few tears escaping from your eyes as you came down, immediately raising Yoongi’s anxieties again.
“Are you okay? Does something hurt?” He asked softly, hands fluttering over you, trying to find somewhere to touch without causing further harm. You caught them in your own grip, intertwining your fingers with his.
“I’m okay, It’s just a lot.” You assured him, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. “I missed you.”
He looked at you confused. “I’ve been here.”
“I meant like this.” You gestured to the way he was still half laying on top of you, still connected.
“Oh,” He flushed, suddenly shy. “Yeah, I missed you too.”
You chuckled, but didn’t comment further, laying together quietly, basking in the peace of the moment, before you eventually sighed.
“We need to get cleaned up before Soyeon wakes up.” You said softly.
“Yeah, you’re right.” Yoongi nodded, pulling out gently and helping you up.
You quickly cleaned up, just finishing up when, right on cue, you heard Soyeon beginning to stir.
“I’ll get her, you rest.” Yoongi said, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead before heading for the door.
“Hey.” Your voice made him stop, turning back to look at you.
“I love you.” You smiled.
“I love you too.” He grinned.
Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz
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ggukkieland · 1 year
Text
📕BTS Fic Reads - 2022 July - Oct
I’ve been getting messages about my reading lists (because I haven’t been posting monthly and I really don’t have any excuse for not posting for four months lol). Though most of these have been reblogged, commented on, mentioned, etc. and that anybody can just check my archive and tags for the fics, I compiled them all in this list for easy reference (I refer to these lists too 😊). I also notice that it is easier to find fics when they are logged/documented somewhere and when described or properly tagged in the post. I hope this will help readers and potential readers find the fics they like.
💌 Again, these are not mine and we have all these authors to thank -  I really appreciate all of you. I may not get to reach all of you but I hope this can serve as a multiplier and reach other readers to discover your gift of stories and for them to find their favorites  💌
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Note: if link doesn’t work, click on author link and go to their masterlist
🥕 Ongoing - most recent chapter [as of date this list was posted]
🥕 Completed - drabbles | one shots | series
🥕 S - smut | F - fluff | A - angst
Mostly Mature, 18+ only please
I read different members, different genres so please take note of the tags, description per fic
Don’t forget to reblog/comment on author’s work, too 😊
No AO3 Fic Recs because I have a more organized system on ao3 and putting it here will take time 😭 sorry.
[around 120 fics] I should really go back to posting per month to avoid this buildup
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🥕 [Ongoing Series]
↬ Namjoon
And They Were Roommates @joonsrack​ - two shot [1/2] | 8.4k+ | roommate!taehyung who suddenly left for the summer and had his room rented by Namjoon, strangers to lovers, temporary roommate!Namjoon, unrequited love (OC to Taehyung), unrequited (namjoon to OC), namjoon is so endearing (but destructive lol), humor | f, a
↬ Seokjin
The A-Listers @httpknjoon - drabble series [3/?] | 4.3k+ | actor!seokjin x famous!reader, crack/humor, actors au, rumored relationship but kind of a mystery/guessing game if they are together or not (fun!) | f
To Kill a King @foxymoxynoona - series [7/?] | 100k+ |  historical fantasy, political themes, royalty au, Prince!Seokjin | a, s, f
↬ Yoongi
Control @hxseok-honee - series [00/09] | teaser/background | demon king!yoongi, blind!reader, twin brother!hoseok, royalty au, supernatural | a, f In which a hidden princess, much to her twin brother’s dismay, concocts the most unimaginable of plots for the sake of escaping her world of pain and suffering. OR a demon king meets his maker and learns that the one person who can see right through him is a girl who can’t see at all. | a
Match Made in Hell @ughcore - series [7/?] | 23k+ | enemies to lovers (rivals), arranged marriage, doctor!yoongi, unrequited? (it begins as a mystery what their past was) | a, f
Twirl for Me @gimmethatagustd - series [3/?] | 19k | stripper au, single dad!yoongi, a bit of Jungkook, ballet instructor!reader (yoongi’s daughter takes ballet classes), secret identity (i guess?), strangers to lovers | s, a
↬ Jimin
Doctor Dreamy @jungblue - series [2/?] | 15.7k+ |  exes au, ex!jimin becomes sperm donor, expecting parents | s, f, a
Rumor Has It @jananakookie - series [5/?] | 29k+ | college au, fake dating, “infamous” OC due to bad rumors, Jimin recently broke up and proposed the fake dating | a, f, s
↬ Taehyung
All of our Lifetimes @bangtan-madi​ - series [9/15] + interludes | 34k+ | boyfriend!Taehyung, husband!Taehyung reincarnation au, lovers to strangers and to lovers again, established relationship, implied soulmate au, kind of crime au, “After all these eons, all these lifetimes, is it possible to find each other again—even when neither of you awakens with your memories?” | f, a
Magic Shop @seokjiniwithluv - series [2/?] | 3.4k+ | club singer!taehyung, daughter of rich CEO arranged to marry CEO!Jimin, enemies to lovers | a, f
Stars Above @crystaljins - drabble series [4/?] | 9.4k | Alien!Taehyung, roommate au (intergalactic exchange program 😁)
Temptation @j-ungkooky - series? [1/?] | 3.1k | CEO!Taehyung, Office AU, Secretary/Assistant!Reader, sexy + humor, intimidating taehyung but he’s actually sweet, he crouched under her desk to hide from someone but this made everything so darn hot 🥵 (no smut yet) | s, future a
Toxic @jeonsjiddies - series [4/?] | 7k+ | stalker!taehyung, hacker!taehyung (using it to stalk and manipulate OC), coworker au | a
↬ Jungkook
All I Want @sxtaep - series [5/?] | 36.9k+ | bestfriend au, fuckboy!jungkook, nerd!reader, FWB au | s, a, f
Bedeviled @writemywaytoyourheart - series [2/?] | 9.1k+ | enemies to lovers, demon!jungkook, human!reader making deals with the devil - gets accompanied by jungkook to the underworld | a, f
Carved @haliiimede - series [3/?] | 39k+ | demon!jungkook x angel!reader, urban fantasy, dystopian au, enemies to lovers | s, a with Taehyung drabble Dominus
Colour Me In @taegularities - series [5/?] | 71.4k+ |  fwb au, fake dating au, artist!jungkook, college au, rich au (oc/reader) | s, f, a
Free Use @littlemisskookie - series [6/?] | 13.6k | fwb au, unrequited crush (oc to taehyung), bdsm, childhood friends/neighbor, college au, “Your long time crush agrees to be your dom.” | s, f
Hurtin Me @lookingforluna - drabble series [1/?] | 570 words | ex-FWB, fuckboy!jungkook, roommate au, friends to lovers? | a, s
Idol Jungkook Headcanon @magicshopaholic - series (of one shots but can be read standalone) [4/?] | 42k+ | idol!jungkook, staff!OC (named Lia), strangers to lovers, bad dates, idiots to lovers, eventual dating | f, s  The Fifth / Part 2 The Sixth Honey
In Your Eyes @prodgguk - series [00/?] | 1.3k+ (teaser) | widow!reader, detective!jungkook x doctor!reader, past: yoongi x reader (but he passed away) | a, f
Little Baby Bear 2.0 @xddaengx - two shot [1/2] | 5.4k | hybrid!jungkook (he’s a bear hybrid and he’s so cute 🥺), , ex-boyfriend!hoseok who originally owns jungkook but dumped him onto OC, hybrid!taehyung (tiger), hurt/comfort, beginning might be confusing so I read the original version too | a, f
Long Way Home @sparklingchim - drabble series [24/?] | 40k+ |  single dad!jungkook, bestfriend!reader, unrequited love, idiots to lovers, feat. Jimin as OC’s fwb | a, f, s
Maniac @strawbearytae - two shot [1/2] | 3.3k+ | exes au, mutual pining, mutual break up, but not kind of ignoring each other, got assigned for a project/Music Festival | a (so far)
Milestones @valorkook - series [00/?] | 900+ | hospital au, doctor!jungkook, nurse!reader, tsundere!jungkook, enemies to lovers | f, a
↬ OT7/Multi
Double Trouble @bangtanstanst​ & @jooneos - Jungkook x Reader | Christian Yu x Reader
series [3/?] | 59k+ | tattoo artist!jungkook, tattoo artist!christian yu, flower shop staff!reader, roommate au (jk x oc), friends to lovers, bet/dare au (JK bet he’d be better than CY), some jealousy involved | s, a, f  
🌷So I read this years ago and I wasn’t that aware of Christian Yu but then this fic blew my mind and I’m so into this pairing/love triangle/poly relationship even though I still don’t follow CY that much at present time. This is just crazy hot. It doesn’t help that there’s this post years ago predicting that Jungkook’s future state is Christian Yu (tattooed, hot but cool).
Office Hours @softiegguk​ - OT7 x Reader
series [2/7] | 12.2k+ | office bangtan, office au, bts x finance manager!reader, pwp, coworkers au, staff accountant!jungkook, admin assistant!taehyung, project manager yoongi (coming soon), business analyst jimin (coming soon), sales representative hoseok (soon), executive assistant!seokjin (soon), CEO!Namjoon (soon) | s
↬ Themed Series
The Nanny Diaries @btsgotjams27​ - OT7 (individual drabble series)  bts themed series, single mom!reader, accidental nanny!bangtan, humor | f
namjoon | au: neighbors ➥ the reluctant nanny (tba)
jin | au: friends ➥ the accidental nanny
yoongi | au: housemates➥ the i-had-no-choice nanny
hoseok ~ ?
jimin | au: co-workers
taehyung ~ ?
jungkook | au: strangers to friends➥ the unexpected nanny➥ the blind date➥ the weekend trip
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🥕 [Completed Fics/Series]
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I Love You @ughseoks - drabble } 1.8k | slice of life, strangers to lovers, established relationship, boyfriend to husband, expecting parents au, tooth-rotting fluff, snippets of important moments with Namjoon | f (i love this! I still cry thinking about this drabble)
The Interpretation of Dreams @ppersonna - one shot | 13.8k | PhD Mentor Namjoon, Post-grad, OC/Reader crushing on Namjoon | s, f
Fool Me Once, Fool Me Twice @dalamjisung​ - series [3/3] | 11.9k | unrequited au (oc to namjoon), best friend jisoo went after namjoon too, self-discovery fic (for OC), more on OC and her relationship with Jisoo and discovering her true friends/true self | a, f
Lost in the Funhouse @dovechim - one shot | 9.7k | thriller, prisoner!namjoon, asylum, psych patient, psychological, criminal au, psychiatrist!reader | s
Mission @dreamscript - one shot | 3.2k | spy au, team leader!namjoon, established relationship, coworker, action (slight),  hurt/comfort (oc comforts him when he felt he messed up leading a mission and OC got hurt) | f
Sail @sunshinejoon​ - drabble | 1.6k | strangers to lovers, idol!namjoon, staff!reader, eventual established relationship, boyfriend au, tattooed!reader (which Namjoon got curious of), hurt and comfort too | f
Show me How @imaginationofacrazyfangirl​ - one shot | 3.9k | virgin!reader who decided to hook up through tinder, dating app, strangers to lovers, not sure if this is ongoing but it ended with a vibe that it has a continuation(?) | s
Straps & Chokers @joonsrack - drabble | 2.1k | CEO!Namjoon x Assistant!reader, boss-employee relationship (reader finds him stressful at work), BDSM Club, Meeting your boss in a BDSM club is probably the last thing you were expecting coming here. | s (nothing graphic but very mature themes)
The Body Through Time @yeoldontknow​ - one shot | 10.9k | exes au, falling out/break up, post-grad, professor!namjoon, OC offered graduate assistant position (Art History Dept) and needs Namjoon’s signature but he’s still hurt 🥺| a, s, f
The Wedding Arrangement @sugaurora​ - one shot | 44k | enemies to lovers, turned FWB, neighbor au, medical/health professional (physician’s associate!reader), construction contractor!namjoon, wedding au (seokjin’s), unrequited love (oc to seokjin) | a, f, s
Til Death Do Us Part @justimajin​ - series [11/11] | 49.2k | arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, assassin au/agent au, heirs, action, themes of revenge, some minor ☠️| a, f, s
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All an Act @tteokggukk​ - one shot | 10.6k | acting major seokjin and oc/reader, enemies to lovers, college au, humor | f, implied s
Timelines @doyouknowbts - series [8/8] | 27.1k | soulmate au, time travel au/teleporting, time slip, doctor!seokjin, journalist!reader | a, f
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Amour Propre  Blind Spot @randombtsprincessa​ - two shot [2/2] | 8.9k | idol!yoongi, break up au | a, f
Bubbles @dreamcatcherjiah​ - SMAU | neighbor au, mutual pining, producer!yoongi x writer!reader, parenting au (they are the usual babysitters of their neighbor’s baby Yoonji), something happened to to Yoonji’s Dad and they got appointed to be the guardians | f, a
The Couples Package @pars-ley​ - one shot | 2k | friends to lovers, fake dating au, vacation au, asked yoongi to join for the couples trip but there is couples therapy in the package (that ended up being too real) | a, f
Dawning Revelation @artaefact​ - drabble | 522 words | police au, supernatural, detective!yoongi, devil!reader | a
Fixer Upper @gukyi - drabble 1.5k | established relationship, slice of life, humor, tooth-rotting fluff, yoongi keeps asking you to fix things in your new apartment, and it’s getting ridiculous.| f
Post-prank Smutty Drabble @btsqualityy​ - drabble | 500 words | pwp, husband!yoongi, just filthy, based on a request “...continuation of a smut drabble of YG and mama min of that bad prank that she pulled on Yoongi” | s
Recompense @vminity21​ - drabble | 2.9k | college au, used to be childhood friends but grew apart after OC moved away, kind of enemies to lovers (just bickering), tsundere!yoongi, themes of grief, hurt/comfort | a, f
The Art Critic @mooniyooni​ - drabble | >1k | established relationship, husband!yoongi, dad!yoongi, parenting (yoongi babysitting the babies)  Idolverse, tooth-rotting fluff | f
The Devil Skates on Thin Ice @vankoya - series [3/3] | 60.3k | slow burn, exes, figure skater!reader, hockey player!tyoongi, enemies to lovers, college au, sports au, falling out +  mutual pining (so I guess this makes it idiots to lovers too), we discover their history and I love the slow burn, a fandom classic really | a, f
Vows aka 10 ways to win your husband's heart @hamsterclaw​ - two shot + drabbles | 28k+ | arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, sort of fwb too, rich au, heartwarming really I just like this Yoongi, bratty!reader (and oh I wanna tag him as the doting husband), Yoongi was dating someone when he was “forced” to marry OC, OC tried to atone for the times she embarrassed Yoongi, seriously one of my favorite OTPs | f, s
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Catch Your Death @dovechim - one shot | 5.1k | hybrid au, arranged marriage, proof of consummation, snow leopard!hoseok, general!hoseok, princess!reader, royalty | s
Checkmate @sunshinejoon - drabble | 743 words | fuckboy!hoseok, unaffected OC (in the beginning), I guess playing with hearts, this was supposed to have a continuation (but this is the last) | a
Feral @lovesickjoon - one shot | 4.1k | best friend au, unrequited love, werewolf!hoseok, supernatural, pwp | s
Head Over Heels to Hell @jimlingss - one shot | 27.5k | soulmate au, reincarnation au, enemies to lovers, college (in the present time) to post-college, childhood friends/acquaintance (present time), star-crossed lovers (past lives), past lives themes of: war, historical, thievery, pregnancy, an amazing PLOT TWIST, humor #holygrailfics | a, f
Make a Move @alpacaparkaseok​ - one shot | 4.6k | humor, tooth-rotting fluff, roommate au, strangers to lovers, mistaken identity (OC thought roommate Hobi is a girl) | f
Simmer @gimmeyoon​ - one shot | 17.1k | exes au, falling out, mutual pining, OC came back to town, summer au, coworker au, summer job at a restaurant, eventual angst (why we broke up moment), kind of star-crossed (person with a future vs someone who will hold her back) | a, s, f
Ubiquitous @sunshinejoon - drabble | 1.9k | some parts epistolary, exes au, break up au, OC/Reader discovered a stash of letters by Hoseok when they were still together | a, f
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Adonis @xjoonchildx​ - one shot | 3.4k | humor/crack (this is super funny), paramedic!jimin, nosy meddling lady/neighbor who decided to play matchmaker lol, meet cute, strangers to lovers | f
Best of Me @xotoosweet​ - two shot [2/2] | 21.6k | slow burn, slice of life, hurt/comfort (themes of depression), fratboy!jimin, college au, strangers to friends to lovers, meet cute (basically saw her diving into a river), one night stand, adulting themes | f, a, implied s
Cathexis @jkeuphoriadreamland​ - series [3/3] | 27k | thriller, supernatural, firestarter!jimin, OC/Reader used to defend Jimin when he was getting bullied, Jimin comes back to town, a bit mystery (jimin’s powers), slight yandere behavior | f, s
Falling @jvngkook97​ - drabble | 990 words | exes au, reunion -  catching up over coffee, idol!jimin, mutual pining | a, f
Hooked @parkdatjimin​ - series [7/7] + drabbles | 56k | nerd!jimin, college au, fwb au, mutual pining | s, f, a
Insatiable + Illusion @artaefact - drabble | >1k | fantasy, angel!jimin x demon!reader, star-crossed forbidden romance, “when he still comes back to you” | a, bittersweet f
Midnight Munchies @yoongihime - one shot | 2.2k | humor, strangers to lovers, college au, delivery boy!jimin, customer!reader, from the prompt: “i made my special request for my pizza for them to send their cutest delivery person and you showed up and apologized that you were the only one delivering tonight and i blurted out that they still got my request right”  | tooth-rotting fluff
Rhythmic @darlingwoes - drabble | 2.2k | established relationship, boyfriend au, dancer!jimin, practice room setting, oc/reader hates the song and Jimin danced with OC to make a new memory (uWu) | f, s
The Girl Next Door @alpacaparkaseok - drabble | >3k | strangers to lovers, amusement park, mascot!jimin (he’s chimmy T_T) | f
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Jimin Birthday Reblogs
a reblog of my favorite Jimin fics with this hashtag #Happy Jimin Day Fave Fics 2022
about 40+ fics 🙀
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5 Times He Said I Love You @n3onguts - one shot | 5k | different versions of ‘i love you’ told throughout the course of a relationship, established relationship, break up or dissolution of a relationship, angsty | a
Armful @ughseoks - drabble | 1.2k | werewolf!taehyung, hairy arm taehyung (something I didn’t know I’d find hot but thank you dear writer), established relationship, boyfriend!taehyung, pwp | s
Broken Rings & Queens and Things @gukyi - one shot | 24k | arranged marriage, kind of fuckboy!taehyung, royalty au, enemies to lovers, prince!taehyung x princess!reader | f, slight a, slight s
Cipher @alpacaparkaseok - one shot | 14.1k | supernatural-ish, mystery, humor too (the two characters have funny exchanges in the beginning), so kind of enemies to lovers vibes too,  some plot twist, fairy tale/folk tale reference (Peter Pan & Pied Piper), fortune teller!taehyung, it’s also thrilling though it’s not the usual thriller | f, a
Cold Husband!Taehyung + Kissing each other breathless drabble @leefics​ - drabble | 1.3k | CEO!Taehyung, arranged marriage au, first kiss prompt, taehyung picking up drunk wife who got emotional thinking taehyung doesn’t like her | f (super cute)
Dickless @monimonimoon - one shot | 11.1k | OC with a boyfriend who can’t satisfy her in some ways, fwb taehyung, cheating OC (unapologetically) | s
The End of Us @angelseokjinnie - drabble | 3.4k | sugar daddy au, four years as sugar baby (by contract) - starts to develop feelings for Taehyung, just  graduated!reader  | a, s
Good Girls Go Bad @jkstompers​ - series [3/3] + drabbles | 46k+ | slow burn, hurt/comfort too for Don’t Watch Me Cry drabble, mutual pining, strangers to lovers, then friends to lovers, bad boy au, college au, intimidating taehyung x chirpy cute!oc who asked taehyung to teach her how to be bad, makeover au? | a, f, s
Higher @ppersonna - one shot | 3.8k | strangers to lovers, mile high club, airplane setting, pwp | s, slight f
Locked & Loaded @justimajin​ - one shot | 10k | action, secret agent au, coworkers, unrequited (for OC), oblivious taehyung (jungkook had to spell it out for him ugh), humor/comedy, boss!yoongi | f
Lost @salvejoon​ - one shot | 4.7k | enemies to lovers, fuckboy!taehyung, only one bed trope, getting lost, vacation au, stranded au, their best friends are dating (Jimin x OC)  but Taehung x Reader don’t like each other (or don’t they? 😉) | a, f, s
Moneyball @oshbluepacific - drabble | 2k | mafia!taehyung, husband!taehyung, arranged marriage, casino setting, some girls thirsting over taehyung and being rude to OC (not knowing she’s the wife), gambling | f
Only One Bed E2L Taehyung drabble @taestefully-in-luv​ - drabble | 3.3k | humor, e2l, only one bed trope, coworkers, rivalry since college | s
The Only One @jjungkookislife​ - one shot | 8.7k | best friend au, fuckboy!taehyung, fwb, Taehyung is from the You Up? universe (JK’s story) | s, f
Picture It @dalamjisung - one shot | 4.9k | strangers to lovers, coffee shop setting, photographer Taehyung who job hops, hurt/comfort (adulting & surviving despite parental expectations), mutual pining (they are each other’s muses and OC would write about this Taehyung she just sees at the cafe) | f (really cute and heartwarming too)
Poison Apple @jooniyah - series [3/3] | 82.36k | thriller, mafia au, yandere and psychotic behavior from Taehyung (he’s just…insane), happy ending for OC (or, for now), OC originally married to Yoongi, MIND THE TAGS!!! (not for the faint of heart) | a, s
Restart @yuudetama - drabble | 740 | break up, divorce au, taehyung and soon-to-be-ex-wife talking about turning back the clock over coffee | a (angsty but beautifully written)
Sea Star + Beside You @koyamuses​ - two shot [2/2] | 6.4k | pirate king!!taehyung, established relationship, LDR (he’s away at sea), kind of historical, childhood friends, fantasy, sex on a ship 👀, eventual proposal au, husband au | f, s
Trace the Colours of Our Skin @youmistme​ - drabble | 2.5k | artist au, blind date where they go naked and paint each other while interviewing/getting to know each other (like one of those Youtube, hurt/comfort fic | f
Under the Cloak @jungblue - one shot | 7.7k | Hogwarts AU, enemies to lovers (one-sided from OC), quidditch player!taehyung *gryffindor, tutor!reader, bet/dare themes (if he gets an A, agree on a date), use of the invisibility cloak for smutty purposes 😉 | s, slight f
Verboten @97erstan - one shot | 3.6k | cop!taehyung, best friend's boyfriend, twisted characters, themes of manipulation, plot twist | s
Your New Boss @dreamescapeswriting - one shot | 5k | CEO AU, Exes au, VP!Reader (but she doesn’t know about the new CEO which is really rare in reality but let’s assume Taehyung didn’t want the VPs to know about organization changes first), stuck in the elevator, kind of bad break up (accusations of cheating on her) | s, f
Waterloo @kinktae​ - one shot | 13k | slow burn, meet cute, strangers to lovers, artist!taehyung, art student!oc/reader, college au, vacation au, Paris setting, kind of tsundere-ish taehyung in the beginning, tourist au (oc toured him around so he can find inspiration) | f, a, implied s
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(Un)welcomed Addition @joonscypher​ - one shot | 9k | neighbor au, one night stand, noona!reader, some form of bet/dare themes, college au, fuckboy!jungkook, OC/Reader already working, humor, really cute | f
A Night and a Year @dulce-jpm - one shot | 3.6k | briefly ex!yoongi x reader, arranged marriage au, past business scandal that led to cutting ties with Min family, Yoongi also broke up with her, arranged marriage with Jungkook to save “family” rep, ex-girlfriend!Sana, accused Jungkook of cheating, talks about this business/marriage | a, slight f (I still think these two deserve a drabble to see if they end up falling for each other 👀)
A Nugget of Comfort @madbutgloriouspond​ - drabble | 2.1k | established relationship, hurt/comfort fic, OC grieving over their pet hamster | f, a
Aftermath @whatifyoulivelikethat - one shot | 12.2k | exes au, stages of post-break up, accidental stalking from jungkook while OC is on a date, sub!jungkook | s
Anti-Romantic @chemicalpink​ - one shot | 4.7k | childhood friends, unrequited love (jk to oc), but his bestfriend *Sungho) ended up with oc, sungho actually cheating, oc revenge sex (with jungkook), bad decisions (like why OC why did you go through the wedding T_T) | s
Azaleas @randombtsprincessa - one shot | 9k | enemies to lovers (rivals), coworker au, lawyer au, hot intense lawyer!jungkook | f, s
The Bad Guy @ggukachuwu​ - drabble | 671 words | tattoo artist!jungkook x CEO!reader, bad boy!jungkook, secret identity (though we never know his work or why he is the bad guy) | a
Bittersweet @citrustan​ - one shot | 2.8k | ex-fwb, unrequited (oc to jungkook), falling out (oc didn’t know jk started to have serious relationship w someone else) | a
Castaway @hamsterclaw - one shot | 8.3k |  enemies to lovers in the beginning, stranded au, beach au, survival au (plane crashed on a deserted island), strangers to lovers, humor, super cute ending | s, mild a, f
CEO Junior @mooniyooni - drabble | >3k | humor, strangers, son of CEO!Jungkook, office au, meet cute, music/artist but got stuck in office work, boss-employee | f
Comfortable, Bare, and Hungry @jinkookspencil​ - drabble | 2.6k | established relationship, boyfriend au, hurt/comfort fic, they ate pizza while naked | f, suggestive s
Denial = Desperation @adonis-koo - drabble | 3k | drabble from the series Wicked where Jungkook is just fantasizing about OC, series tags/genres ➡️arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, historical, royalty au | s
Drive @sunshinejoon - drabble | >1k | FWBs who are pining for each other, idiots to lovers, angsty beginning | a, f
Duty Before Love + Part 2 @blue-jade - two shot [2/2] | 10.4k | royalty au, agreed infidelity (jungkook’s wife chose OC/reader to be the child bearer), pregnancy au, historical, forbidden/star-crossed (royalty x servant!reader), unrequited love | a, s, f
Echoes of Love @moonlightchildz - one shot | 2.5k | exes au, break up au,  jungkook broke up with OC and we don’t know why T_T, feat. best friend!taehyung | a, s, f
Exposed @getitinbusan - drabble | 2.1k | photographer!reader, dispatch photoshoot, idol!jungkook, tattooed!jungkook, pwp and really filthy | s
The Hardest Part @kimnjss - one shot | 2.5k | bestfriend au, unrequited (for OC), jungkook is getting married, extra angsty, something I probably read 3x now T_T | a
Heat Rises @dreamyjoons - drabble | 1.1k | boyfriend au, established relationship, pwp, hair pull + shower sex, that curly Jungkook from 5th Muster | s
Kinktober 2022: October 1 corruption kink with jeon jeongguk @seokgism - drabble | 3k | corruption kink, virgin!jungkook, experienced!oc, happens during the family dinner lol | s, pwp
Late Night Assignment @writeformesinpie - one shot | 2.7k | CEO!Jungkook, boss-employee, office au, OC/Reader has a date and Jungkook couldn’t function a bit at the thought lol, very funny banter and JK with wild exaggerated imagines about OC and her date, humor | s
Like Stars in a Constellation @taegills​ - one shot | 20.9k | sci-fi, star-crossed love, time travel au of sorts only they are meeting in reverse (one timeline is forward while the other is backward), strangers to lovers at one point, established relationship at one point, kind of bittersweet | a, f, s (implied)
The Love Bug @jungkxook - one shot | 20.6k | neighbor au, childhood friends (more on acquaintance), college, secret identity (duh, he’s spiderman), adaptation: spiderman au, superpower/superhero au, spiderman!jungkook | f, s
Lover Boy @ughseoks - drabble | <1k | humor, heartwarming, established relationship, lots of dick jokes lol, boyfriend!jungkook x oc in a romantic bath together (tub scenario) | f
Nanny @jjungkookislife - drabble | 700+ words | nanny!reader, single dad!jungkook, pwp| implied s
On Camera @agustdiv1ne - one shot | 3.1k | established relationship, boyfriend!jungkook, gamer au, youtuber!jungkook, pwp about jungkook recording their smutty moments | s
Ours @v-hope - drabble | 2.3k |  best friend au, also childhood friends, now roommates in college, tooth-rotting fluff, domestic vibes, living with your best friend turned longing for exclusivity (just read my reaction I poured my entire giddy heart into it) | f
Pardon the Interruption @strawbkoo - one shot | 4.4k | established relationship, coworker seoyeon keeps interrupting their sexy time/moments, pwp | s
Perfect Coincidence @smilingleoo - one shot | 4.7k | DJ!reader, football team captain!jungkook, popular jungkook who was having an affair with the Math Teacher (uhm police alert 👀), party au (they did it on Hoseok’s couch), Hoseok is OC/Reader’s best friend and it’s his party | s, pwp
Picture Perfect @upinthestarsx3 - one shot | 879 words | best friend au, photographer!jungkook, needs to take photos of her nude for a magazine but turned smutty | s, pwp
Risk it All @httpjeon - series [5/5] | 14.1k | hybrid au, wolf!jungkook, I included this in the werewolf fic rec list though he’s not really a werewolf lol (he doesn’t shift), alpha!jungkook, a/b/o dynamics, predator-prey dynamics in this au, OC got thrown in a warehouse filled with predators and there’s also jungkook | f, a, s
Save You @mimikookie​ - drabble | 4k | supernatural, fantasy, post-apocalyptic, a bit of action, star-crossed vibes, archangel!jungkook x human!reader, it’s just intense and feels like some epic scene, war? (the angels were fighting and some creatures attacking humans), badass OC | a, f
SPF 50 @gimmeyoon - one shot | 10.6k | coworker au, strangers to friends to lovers, summer au, lifeguard!jungkook, slow burn, kind of bittersweet (because summer love stories usually are) | a, f, s
Strangers to Lovers @kissmetae​ - one shot | 3.2k | uhm strangers to lovers, gym crush!jungkook, gym setting, role playing | s, f
Symmetry @adriftmoonchild​ - one shot | 10k | enemies to lovers, fwb au, hogwarts au, mutual pining, secret relationship, rich!OC/reader, magic, kind of forbidden relationship (pure blood!oc x half-blood jungkook) and OC arranged to marry someone else | s, a, f
Vampire’s Kiss @immabiteyou - one shot | 4k | bartender!reader, bar au, vampire!jungkook, jk in all black | s
When We Were Sixteen @seokjiniwithluv - one shot | 10.3k | moments with jungkook told per year, best friend au, parts namjoon x reader & jungkook x hana, a bit taehyung x reader, high school to college to working, unrequited, falling out of some sort,jungkook leaving the country and friends jimin/taehyung checking on OC, angst with happy ending for OC | a, f
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posted: 2022 Nov 5
link to other reading lists
other fic rec lists (by theme)
feel free to message me about fics! (leads to @ggukkiereads 🌷)
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4K notes · View notes
helenazbmrskai · 22 days
Text
Guide on how to not marry the Northern Duke. [1/2]
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Title [Guide on how to not marry the Northern Duke.] ⇢ sub title: R like Reincarnation.
Pairing [Northen Duke! Yoongi x Reincarnated! Reader]
Genre [Fantasy Romance, Reincarnation, World in a novel AU, future smut and angst]
Summary []
Words [11,5k ; part 1 out of 2]
Warnings [mistreatment and negligence, period drama, slow burn, mention of blood and drugs, tiny sexual tension]
Rating [+18 overall but this part is a tame +14]
A/N: Guess who’s back again? ME. I’ve been working on this for a lot and I know I already have a similar story on going but I just couldn’t get over this idea in my head. So enjoy! And as always excuse me for the typos.
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Every story needs a good start, and this one starts now with an old tale, much older than you.
There’s an ancient fairytale that tells you about the funding of the Empire and it all starts when God left.
Tired of human foolishness and deeply rooted malice he left the world he created to turn around its axis and burn down on its own; famine started to scavenge the continent as war broke out in every corner of the human world. Each kingdom perished one by one until only one was left.
It seemed like humanity would be wiped out permanently in no time but then just when they all thought there was no turning back, a saintess appeared among the rest and divided the continent into four regions with the help of the received divine power. That’s the birth of the empire’s central city where the empress Hyeri ruled over the four divided territories.
To prevent war from breaking out again the saintess turned to the heavens and pleaded while crying out to their maker and hearing her prayers the God who left decided to give them one last chance at redemption seeing the pure heart in front of him.
That’s when the holy prophecy was made.
Each chosen duke was granted unique powers to rule over their territories. However great powers come with great responsibilities. In the end, there’s always a price to pay but that’s the tale of another story.
This is how peace finally settled over the world once more. In exchange for the powers, the dukes wrote a blood oath that prevented them from stealing each other’s powers or waging unnecessary war. However just like every pact it wasn’t perfect. Loopholes could be taken advantage of but momentarily peace was forged.
This is the short version of the founding tale of the originated Kingdom that was taught to the people of the empire throughout generations. You particularly remember these starting lines from the novel you read in your previous life. The introduction is something you often skip through but thankfully you didn’t do that with this one.
The four families who inherited great power were Kim, Jung, Min and Jeon. When you first read the story introduction you thought that it’s quite lame and generic to base the family's attributes on the four seasons. However, seeing one of the duke’s illustrations you decided to read it all.
When choosing a book to read you only pay attention to the hotties. In this case, it wasn’t any different either.
A mysterious and cold duke of the north is something that a girl cannot ignore to save her life.
Each duke possesses an artefact which comes in the form of a ring and different precious gemstones that fit into the depression are named after the four seasons using a dead language.
Nix - means snow, which makes the wearer the lord of winter. The most handsome guy throughout the entire book in your opinion. Next, Saltus - translates to forest which is the symbol of spring. Umbra is shade and Calor is heat. The last remaining ones are autumn and summer. Each duke is the epitome of beauty, and their descendants are no exception.
This is a fantasy romance novel you read before you died in a sudden hit and run accident.
The original story is about an orphan girl Hyo who is the lost daughter of the king. After she’s found – the plot starts as she meets the four archdukes at the annual imperial ball and falls in love with the lord of Spring. Kim Taehyung. A handsome man with good manners and unmatched beauty as he’s described in the book. She’s captured by one look of the male lead’s brown eyes and shiny blond curly hair. Despite their fairytale-like first meeting, their love is not exempt from hardships. Their first obstacle is the villainess Kim Y/N who falls in love with Taehyung at first sight at the same ball and sets her eyes on marrying him but in the end, she fails to murder Hyo and gets beheaded by the second male lead Min Yoongi as an imperial order.
Hyo and Taehyung then live happily ever after and the novel ‘Flowers bloom in the heart of the Lost Princess’ ends there.
You see, dying a second time is not an option even if the one you possessed is Y/N.
You need to make an elaborate plan so you can avoid your impending death by the hands of your favourite character so you can’t just sit around and wait for something to happen – no matter how distraught you wake up one day in an unfamiliar bed.
Even though there’s no chance you will fall in love with the Duke of Spring like in the original novel – things can still go wrong if you make changes in the natural flow of the story, so you need to think this through carefully. You need to think about the plot holes and that the characters you see can be different from what you read in the book as that only tells you one side of the story.
The first thing you need to change gradually is the way the servants and the Duke see you.
The first week when you reincarnated as Y/N you spent your days with a high fever bedridden, you’re not sure if the pain came from the strain of absorbing the real Y/N’s memories or if something else is behind it. Your health is very poor as your medical history suggested, but you get accustomed to the villainess' body step by step. After another week your probation ended so you were able to leave the estate freely again. There were days when sudden headaches interrupted your day and, in the morning, you often coughed up blood.
You ignored it at first because the symptoms seemed to get better with time, and you had no way of knowing if it was normal. You didn’t ask in case someone found it suspicious. The most important thing right now is that you need to focus on staying alive and avoiding your death at the end of this novel – this is what you thought without knowing anything at that time.
As the plot thickens when you least expect it.
It’s not just your weird health conditions your head hurts just from thinking about the actions of the real owner of this body.
You just can’t grasp why a beautiful woman like Y/N would do those cruel things when she has everything she could’ve asked for. She’s a rich girl born with a golden spoon in her mouth, and she gets crazy just because she can’t have a man. It feels unnatural. If someone asks you to choose between life and a man you would choose life without hesitation.
You can have another man but not another life. Er, well – in your case, you do get another one thought but that’s beside the point.
Even before that incident happened with the female lead, she had a terrible reputation among the nobles.
Well – you can’t do anything if you’re not well rested so you will just think about this a bit later. You can’t possibly pull another all-nighter to study how this novel works. You close your eyes to finally get some shut eye when some woman barges into your room without knocking forcefully parting your curtains to let the early rays of sunshine in. The sound of her voice makes you freeze. This uncomfortable feeling suddenly ripped through your body as if a pile of rocks were sitting on your chest not letting you breathe. While you gained some of Y/N’s memories there are still holes in those fragments that you’re unsure of. However, her feelings are so intense sometimes that your body reacts like clockwork.
What you feel after hearing her voice is sheer terror. Who is this woman that even a villainess like Y/N is even afraid of? You can’t open your eyes as if your body is doing it unconsciously, unmoving like a doll to protect itself. Someone is coming closer.
You feel a prick on your forearm and your eyes fly open due to the pain. Her name appears in your mind as soon as you see her face and some of Y/N’s memories flood your head regarding that nasty woman. She triggers something dark in your eyes to appear.
Your nanny, Biwon.
“Wake up. Are you planning to sleep till the afternoon?” Biwon lets out a fake troubled sigh and her eyes are full of arrogance when you meet them you freeze completely at the sight.
“I’m sorry nanny.” Your mouth moves on its own like a broken record. It feels like this is not the first time she wakes Y/N up with a prick of a needle and the apology comes to her like second nature. Y/N’s attitude shows all kinds of trauma of being abused. How is it that this was never mentioned in the novel? While not much was mentioned about how she grew up you would think this is a piece of important information to have.
“Wash your face the duke requested to have breakfast with you for some reason.” She left without giving you any kind of assistance like a maid should do. At last, the water in the basin is ice cold to the touch and murky it manages to wake you up completely from shock.
You’re not just imagining it. Biwon has complete power over Y/N even though she’s the lady of the house.
You knew that the other maids avoided Y/N because of her temperament but to think that she’s been through manipulation and abuse by someone so close to her. Because Biwon is the one who spent the most time next to Y/N ever since she was a child everyone buys her lies. No one pays attention to Y/N, not her father or her brother.
She has no one to rely on in this household.
Biwon deliberately made her isolated in her own home so she could control and exploit her. Her malicious plan is clear to you after observing the situation objectively. What else is there that was not mentioned in the novel? Things might be more complicated than you thought.
However, this is not the time to ponder over this. You need to get ready alone. It didn’t take you long to realise Biwon forbids the maids from helping you so you can embarrass yourself in front of your family. While the real Y/N would have problems with getting dressed and being presentable without help as she’s a noble – there’s one tiny fault in your nanny’s plan – that she has no idea that you’re a modern woman who can wear her own fucking dress and get ready all by herself. She has a lot of extravagant dresses, so you had a hard time choosing but then something caught your eye. This dress has been buried deep in your wardrobe, a solid light cream-coloured dress with an elegant bow in the front. This is the perfect dress.
You do light makeup to match the dress and leave your long hair down after brushing it. While you were getting dressed you saw the countless bruises on your skin and your right arm was full of holes from the needle your nanny used to stab you with to wake you up. It’s good that the dress is long-sleeved. There’s no way the maids don’t know about your abuse since they bathe you. So, your guess is they are either the nanny’s people or they just simply don’t care enough to tell the duke. It’s clear the duke doesn’t care about Y/N so it wouldn’t benefit them to tell him when they could face the wrath of your nanny if she finds out. They think he wouldn’t do anything about it, and you think so too.
You feel compassion for Y/N. She was made to be a villain even if it doesn’t excuse her actions in the end. It’s only been two weeks for you, but she had to endure this for a lifetime.
You’re determined to change her future even more now that you know the truth. You’re going to live for her as well.
Opening the door to your room you find a maid waiting for you to lead you to the dining room as per the duke’s request. She looks taken aback by your neat appearance but doesn’t say anything and just shows you the way.
She dares to walk ahead of you. Even if you want to give her a piece of your mind you hold yourself back, you can’t afford to create a ruckus and be sent back to probation. It’s not that you care about who walks in front of you it’s the meaning of this action that angers you.
You hold back by creating a fist the pain of your nails digging into your palms in half-moon shapes keeps your head clear and controls your bubbling rage. You’re going to show everyone how Y/N won’t bow down anymore. You’re not a doormat that everyone can just walk over.
You’re not going to let everyone disrespect you ever again but to achieve that you need to make a plan and be more patient.
First thing first you need to make the duke care about you to an extent so he will listen to you. Good thing that you know the novel. You might be able to use that information to get what you want. You’re not going to make him like you, you just need to be useful for him to look at you. You’re not sure he would be even capable of liking you in the first place – not that you would want that after he neglected Y/N like that. Talk about loving family, this is just another example of being blood-related sometimes does not matter.
It's not like he’s your real dad anyway.
The dining room is just as fancy as the rest of the mansion. By the time you arrive the duke and your brother are already seated and chatting. The duke is sitting at the head of the table and Seokjin is sitting on his right.
Your tableware is set away from them probably a scheme made by your nanny to keep you isolated.
She must be afraid of why the duke suddenly wanted to dine with you when he usually never bothers to see you. You can’t let this golden opportunity pass like that. You’re going to make the most of it.
“Good morning, Father, Brother. Sorry for being late.” You give them a little courtesy. You’re careful to get your posture nice and graceful like you read in the etiquette book. The nanny purposefully discouraged the young Y/N to skip classes and remain a dumb doll for her to exploit but you’re not going to let her continue to do that.
While your posture is not perfect this will at least show that you’re trying to be as polite as possible.
You stayed up all night for an entire week to study about this new world’s etiquette and history to play your part more convincingly who knew that your knowledge would come in handy in a situation like this? You’re thankful that you decided to study even before you realised the nanny’s schemes.
You school your features to remain passive as you look at the grand duke’s and your brother’s dumb expressive faces. It looks like they are seeing a ghost. Even though you’re annoyed to be bent like that you keep the position until you receive the acknowledgement like a lady should. How annoying that you must bow like that until you are recognised by a man.
“It’s alright. Sit down, Y/N.” The duke gives you a curt nod seemingly flustered that he stared at you for so long. You remind him of his late wife a lot dressed like that. To everyone’s biggest surprise, you take a seat directly on his left side facing your brother.
You remain silent in your seat knowing that the duke’s pride will take a hit if he doesn’t correct the mistake that he didn’t even notice until you sat down. Usually, they wouldn’t care if you sit far away, they would probably think that you were the one who wanted the seat away from them in the first place as a sign of defiance but they can’t deny that you’re the lady of the house so to assume you would sit far away is an arrogant mistake on the servants part.
“What are you waiting for give my daughter a set and bring the food.” Thankfully the duke is just like you expected. He looks annoyed at the servants. His authority is absolute so the maids scurry to bring you some new tableware and bring out the food. The lonely set is forgotten at the rear end of the table. This is the first time you see something so mouthwatering in a while since you were forced to eat in your room and the food, they brought you was not even close to this. Now that you think about it, it was probably some leftover from the kitchen. No wonder Y/N is this thin.
It probably wasn’t even part of her punishment so someone must be stealing the food that is made for Y/N.
It’s hard to control your expression or your body language that is burned into your body by nature. You’re feeling uncomfortable all over that you can’t enjoy the food at all. It’s sad to see how rigid you are in the presence of your supposed family members. You don’t have any appetite even though you feel like you’re starving.
“How are things with Gold Wing? Did you manage to get them to agree with our terms?”
The Gold Wing is under the jurisdiction of the House of Summer. The old man Jung Jeyhun is a greedy man who keeps delaying his son’s succession because he wants to keep his title as an archduke. He’s the hidden boss of this novel. Y/N can’t compare with an evil villain like him. There’s probably no one else who knows he’s backing that trading company. You’re an exception only because you read the novel and know everything about how he wants to be the sole ruler of the Empire. He’s behind many unfortunate events that happen in the novel that no one finds out about until it’s too late.
“No. They’re trying to sell their stones for double the price. Knowing that none of the other companies have that much supply since they bought the rights to the mines.” Your brother looks irritated as if he recalls the meeting with the head of the company vividly.
No wonder they are cocky, they have the backing of House Summer, and they cheated the other rival companies out of the right to produce this type of stone that’s particularly high priced in the first section of the book. This stone is called Stelar which is steel but it’s a novel, so they had to give it a fancy name. Swords here are mainly made from two important ingredients iron or steel, but steel has a longer durability and is easy to craft to different shapes, so they tend to use that instead of iron which is way cheaper because of this fact. The knights used swords made with Stelar but because of the high price, it was hard to come by after the Gold Wing trading company monopolized the rights.
Their goal is to weaken the other three houses’ military power by selling the stones at a high price and getting funds for their territory but it’s not the only reason. The swords they sell are not simply made of Stelar. Steel is an alloy of iron. Iron needs to be mixed with carbon to make steel. They use some steel and put more iron to degrade the quality of the sword which breaks more easily than it should. You remember learning of it in school in your previous life, but these people don’t know of it because the novel has plot holes here and there. Since the novel focuses on the main characters things that are not related to them too much have more freedom to change, and things may differ as the author cannot mention every little thing. This could be what you need to make changes.
The truth that they tempered with the swords that got imported only comes to light when Yoongi investigates the company when he almost loses the battle with the barbarians but that battle only happens when you reach nearly half of the novel. He could tell that there was a difference in quality when he saw the sword break too easily. He made an assumption just by that and the fact that the new sword became heavier due to the added mass of iron.
Even if you feel bad for taking credit for his discovery you need to use that information, he finds out later so you can survive in this household.
“May I speak up, father?” You heard enough to grasp the current situation. You need to speak up before you lose your courage.
“What can you even contribute to this conversation?” Your brother looks angry that he got interrupted. In your eyes he’s not scary he’s just a big child throwing a tantrum when things don’t go his way. You decide to calmly face him even if you have to hide your nervousness by clasping your hands together under the table for comfort. Still can’t control the original Y/N’s physical reactions.
“I don’t think I asked brother.”
The duke raises his hand to silence Jin before he can spit out angrier remarks. The moment you appeared and gracefully bowed wearing your mother’s dress the duke could tell that something about you just became different. The air around you is filled with determination.
He got reports of you acting unusually tame so he asked you to dine together and see it for himself.
Your eyes that only reflected the world around it suddenly became full of will to live.
He’s curious to hear what you have to say. Usually, you wouldn’t speak unless you were spoken to. “Do you perhaps have a good idea of how to deal with them?” He proposes fully giving you his attention.
“The problem is that we don’t have Stelar to make swords for the knights, right? I suggest we find a mine suitable to harvest the stones we need that way we don’t have to depend on the trading company.”
“Are you a fool? Do you think if we could produce it, we would continue to make this ridiculous deal work?” You’re getting tired of your brother always cutting in. You can’t get angry though. The first thing you need to change is how people see you and you can’t get angry because the people around you will call you a temperamental child even if your anger is justified. They wouldn’t care either way they just want to belittle you. You just need to not allow them to do so.
“We have a place like that in our territory that could be suitable. I can mark it on a map if you’d like.” Even though the duke might be suspicious of how you know of a place like that he will investigate either way. This deal is too good to pass up on.
In hopes of discovering a new mine, he will even accept the flimsy lie of you just discovered it by reading some book and looking at maps.
“Alright. I will instruct the knights to check it out. If what you said is true, I will reward you.” You nod your head pleased with the outcome of this uncomfortable breakfast.
In the novel the imperial prince comes across the mine in your territory when he’s running away from assassins and due to his discovery, he gets praised by the king for solving a big problem. However, if you find the mine first that puts you in a favourable position with the other houses and even the king if you give the stones at a lower price making the Gold Wing trading company lose its base customers by making better deals.
Thankfully that painful breakfast comes to an end soon as father’s aid whispers something into his ear. He leaves in a hurry which makes you think it’s about something important and work-related.
Your brother leaves without saying a word so you can finally enjoy your food alone.
Ever since you came to this place you’ve never been this full before, it puts you in a fairly good mood. You even managed to grab the duke’s attention and for once got something more filling than stale bread.
All you need to do is wait until the mine is discovered and now that one thing is out of the way you need to start with disciplining your maids and get your nanny kicked out. Biwon had a good life here up to this point because now that you’re here you will make it a living hell for her, and that’s a promise.
“What did you talk about with the duke?” You’re not surprised to find your nanny in your room when you get back. She looks anxious you can see how her nails are bitten and she slightly thumps her foot. You got back early so if you tell her some half-truths, she won’t suspect you that much.
“He didn’t talk to me at all. He only talked with my brother about work that I don’t understand. I don’t know why they keep ignoring me. You’re the only one who cares about me, nanny.” Good thing that the maids left after serving the meal, you would be in trouble if someone overheard you and you were caught lying. You bury your head in her apron to conceal your disgusted expression when she caresses your head.
You need to act like usual, so she won’t suspect a thing. If her guard is down, it will be easier for you to make your move.
You can easily produce some fake tears for the greater good.
“That’s right, only I care about you. Who else would love a useless child like you.” You bite your tongue to hold back when Biwon hugs you. You agree with her even if you want to break her arms that hugs you like a shameless person.
Biwon doesn’t use needles on you again to erase her marks since you started to dine with the duke. Thankfully she doesn’t realise what you’re planning.
The mine you talked about last time turned out to be true and the duke was very happy to get back at the Gold Wing trading company. He started to make a profit thanks to you, and he even listened to your suggestion of lowering the price to sell it to the other houses. Developing the mining ground consumes a lot of money at the moment but the profit will be greater than ever if it’s finished. You asked to have dinner with them every day as a reward which made him look surprised. He reluctantly agreed when you asked to make your contribution a secret for now you can’t let your nanny hear about it just yet. The duke probably thought he would buy you some clothes and accessories and you will be all set. Unfortunately for them, you don’t care about luxuries especially if it comes from them.
While you would prefer to not eat with them you need to show the staff that you’re indeed the lady of the house. Now they are giving you the bare minimum of respect after the maid got scolded by your father after the tableware incident.
You didn’t think Jin would come after you excused yourself from the meal. Right when you leave the dining room your brother appears halting you in your step and grabbing your hand forcefully to stop you in your tracks.
“Where are you going in a hurry so dressed up?” Your wrist throbs in his hold. That bastard how could he grab the hand of his sister so hard? Compared to him your body is so small you look like a child next to him. You’re not surprised since you were malnourished before. You’re sure it will bruise badly but you refuse to show him that he’s hurting you.
“I believe it’s none of my brother’s business where I go in my free time.” You look into his eyes with confidence. Y/N was always longing for her brother’s love but you’re not the real Y/N and you will never consider him your brother, so his attitude doesn’t bother you at all emotionally. He simply became a person you’re forced to live with and tolerate for now.
If everything is over you will cut ties with them for good.
“You’ve been acting weird ever since your probation. If this is your way of seeking attention from father or I, that will never happen no matter what you’re scheming.”
Using the moment of his surprise you get out of his hold and get farther away from him. Your smile says it all. ‘I don’t consider you a brother so go to hell’. You’re getting angry but you refuse to show him any reaction even if you can’t exactly control the fire in your eyes.
“You don’t have to be afraid of that. I don’t consider people who neglect and belittle me my family at all. I don’t need your love or attention anymore.” You show him your back confidently as you walk away from his frozen form.
“Gaon prepare some indigestion medicine for me. Is the carriage ready?” Jin catches your voice talking to your maid still frozen on the spot you left him.
Your eyes looked different. When you were young you used to beg for his affection always clinging to him but now. Why does it look like you despise him and why does it bother him?
He never felt anything for you for a very long time.
“Yes, my lady everything is like you instructed.” You nod satisfied by the way things progress.
Now there’s only one thing left to do.
You’re on your way to meet with the head of the blacks information guild. The only one who could top the Gold Wing trading company by power would be them. The blacks is one of the largest information-selling guilds – trading only to deceive people and hide the fact that they know everything that can be known throughout the empire.
They have men everywhere. The head is conveniently the second young master of house Autumn who currently stays in House Summer territory. Jeon Jungkook is clever enough to know that information is the most important thing to have the upper hand this is how he was able to survive the battle for succession.
It will be probably dangerous to meet him but you will have to take this gamble on if you want things to work out you need the backing of the most powerful guild in the empire.
Convenient that the duke doesn’t care about Y/N’s safety so you don’t need to play hide and seek with the guards you can do your business without getting interrupted. If you say you don’t need an escort, they back off immediately and let you leave.
Following the novel’s description, you look for a house with a red chimney and a black door away from the main streets. Once you find it you have to knock two then three times until someone asks, “Are you lost?” and you have to reply with “Yes can you tell me where can I find black paint?” - and you’re in.
It’s only a select few that know about this code so Jungkook will be suspicious of how a lady with a bad reputation knows about it, but you came to make a deal that he can’t refuse. You can talk around the fact of how you know about their secret entrance.
As you expected Jungkook came himself to greet you, you could recognise that brown hair and emerald eyes anywhere.
“Please have a seat. I prepared some tea.” His smile is pleasant but calculating. His intentions are clear unlike when you talk to your blood relatives, so you’re surprisingly relaxed in his presence. Jungkook is intrigued by your body language. Usually, people are distrustful of him because of his mask. Your eyes tell him that you know more than you look.
“I have a request to make. I would like to know what this liquid is and any information that you can get on it or the bottle.” Jungkook is said to like straightforward people, so you try to be confident.
Jungkook laughs seeing your confidence. You exceed his expectations he heard that you’re stupid and extravagant with a bad temper, but it seems like his information is outdated. That needs to change he smirks.
He gives you credit for realising he wields information. Usually, people come to his guild to do business. Not many know that the purpose of the blacks is different.
“How much will you pay me for the information?”
“I heard I can pay with information for information. I have something important to tell you anyway.”
“Oh.” People rarely have any information that he doesn’t already know but you look so confident that he has to humour you. “Please enlighten me.” Taking a relaxed laid-back pose he awaits your answer.
“The head of the Gold Wing trading company is the current Duke of House Summer and he has a spy in your guild.” The only reason the blacks are not at the top is because of the upper hand they gain from the spy. No one would suspect that Jungkook’s right-hand man is a spy. He causes the guild’s destruction near the end of the novel. Heartbroken from the betrayal Jungkook is stabbed by him in the end.
Jungkook grips the side of the sofa after hearing your daring words until the wood slightly splits. He doesn’t usually trust people so to think that someone betrayed him feels impossible.
“I’m not saying that without evidence. There’s a tree in the back looking directly at the alleyway if you dig the dirt near the roots, you will find a letter with a coded message it was placed there this afternoon so you have to look for it before sunrise. I swear on my life that if I lie to you, you have the right to kill me.” The only way he will believe you is if you match the sacrifice for your accusation. Your life is on the line, but you know you’re right.
Or that you hope it’s the same as in the novel.
Jungkook instructs one of his men to look for the tree. He visibly pales when he sees the man come back with a dirty envelope. He reads the letter with a face of indifference, but you know he is furious deep inside and somewhat sad. Trust is not easily given away by him.
“Who— ” Jungkook closes his eyes to compose himself. “Who is the spy?” He appears distraught which is normal considering the fact you just dumped on him suddenly.
You hesitate for a moment. You know this information will hurt him, but he is entitled to the truth – and you do this to save his life in the end. “It’s Sam.”
You can tell it hit him hard but you don’t think he doesn’t believe you. He might get angry and it’s really not your place to intervene. However, you know this feeling very well. Being betrayed by someone you trusted. If nothing else you can sympathise with that feeling.
“Please excuse my rudeness.” You tell before you impulsively side-hug him. He’s so surprised by your embrace that he doesn’t try to push you away immediately. You’re so warm and your hand is comforting on his back. He doesn’t know you, but it feels like you understand him to some extent.
He closes his eyes and lets this moment pass by. Hidden from prying eyes it’s just – you and him for this moment.
At last, he composes himself and accepts your request. He even gives you a pendant that’s only given to the highest-ranking customers saying that your information is worth that much.
It’s a pretty pendant with a black snake on it. Looks like a masterpiece.
Thankfully nothing out of the ordinary happened while you were out. You were able to enjoy some snacks when you got back in peace as your nanny was on vacation.
You need to make your move while Biwon is away your plan needs to be done by the time she gets back. Thanks to the blacks information guild – you were able to identify the liquid your nanny made you drink every day — you only had to wait two days to hear from them.
Your discovery is enraging and liberating at the same time.
It helped you put the pieces together and even gave you an advantage to work with. To finally know the full truth of what happened to Kim Y/N. This could be a good explanation for why you couldn’t access all her memories or why some things become hazy the longer you thought about it.
Life was way too cruel for a girl like Y/N.
Now that you’ve set up the stage you just need to wait for the protagonists to arrive.
Biwon seems relaxed after her vacation; she probably enjoyed a luxurious life out of the jewellery she stole from you. You’re getting sick just from seeing her smile. It must have felt good to be able to look down on a noble lady and make Y/N cater to her all this time, exploiting a poor young lady. To think that all those rumours come from her to isolate and degrade her. She should smile while she can you think smirking through the rim of your cup.
Now’s showtime.
The taste of tea is familiar in your mouth. Due to double the dose of the liquid she made you drink each morning the symptoms came earlier than you anticipated. Suddenly getting on the drug after you stopped taking it is a huge risk, but you need to prove her involvement in the crime.
You didn’t think it would hurt this much though. Your head clouded over soon, and your body collapsed on the floor in tremor.
Gaon called the doctor immediately as you instructed and while you were getting examined your other trusted maid planted the evidence in your nanny’s room. It didn’t take long to see Biwon try to escape your trap, but it was too late when the knights found the medicine bottle.
She had nowhere to run to.
You regained consciousness but it was hard for you to open your eyes yet. The pain you felt in your abdomen felt unbearable, but you need to see this through till the end.
“I can’t believe I didn’t notice this. To tell the truth, the lady came to me often to ask for headache medicine.” You could feel the worry in the doctor’s voice. You feel bad for suspecting him at first. He might be the only one to actually care for Y/N in this forsaken house.
“This drug is called blackroot it’s made from a rare flower that was used in a war experiment in the past. The characteristic of the flower is that it can manipulate the mind – it makes the user unable to control their temper and creates hazy thoughts. While it works as a brainwashing technique it has all kinds of side effects such as explosive temper, haziness, headaches, loss of appetite and memory loss. The longer someone takes it the more fragile that person will become.”
No wonder Y/N is this thin. When you first heard about this drug you felt incredibly furious to make her take such a dangerous drug just because Biwon was greedy for things she couldn’t have.
Once the dizziness subsided you were able to open your eyes it seemed like the medicine the doctor gave you had some effect. The pain is still there but your head is clearer.
“I- didn’t do this! I was framed!” Biwon begs on her knees in front of the duke and young master but seeing their reactions no one actually buys that half-hearted accusation. Serves her right.
You made sure to get solid evidence of her crime.
You’re able to sit up thanks to Gaon’s help and you look down upon your nanny with a hard expression.
You cannot believe this is finally over.
Now no one will dare to take advantage of you after this incident comes to light. It won’t make your reputation restored to how it was before but at least it will provide you with a good opportunity to show the people around you that you’re different without having to fear someone figuring out you’re not the real Y/N.
“Have the witnesses come forward.” The maid who is questioned is shaking like a leaf in front of the duke.
“Who served Y/N tea?” Jin comes forward to interrogate the maids. For some reason, he looks livid. It’s probably because of their pride. How dare they manipulate the duke’s daughter a mere maid. – they probably think like that.
“The nanny always prepares the tea for the lady in the morning. No one was allowed to touch it I swear I didn’t know that the lady’s tea had blackroot in it.”
“That’s right, we were never allowed to serve her tea or be present when she made it we would be only called when the lady was about to get dressed.” If they were present at all you think for yourself as you roll your eyes.
“N- No! That…” Biwon looks around like a cornered animal. It’s nothing compared to what you’ve been through. No, you promised the real Y/N that you would not let her go so easily.
“I’ve heard enough. Drag her to the underground dungeon.” After hearing the duke’s command, the knights drag Biwon out of the room. Finally, some quiet. Your head is killing you.
“Everyone leave, now. My daughter needs to rest.” As if seeing it on you that you’re nearly at your limits the grand duke instructs everyone to let you be.
Everyone leaves except for one person. Jin looks torn as he contemplates what to say to his sister.
You know the reason why Jin treated Y/N with contempt is because of that incident in the past. Y/N mad because of withdrawal symptoms from the drug called him a monster. She told him that because of him their mother died, and she even threw a teacup in his face that made him bleed. In reality, she partially blamed him for being forgotten and emotionally abused. After that Jin ignored her altogether. While saying those things are hash and not justified because of the drugs the behaviour of her brother is not something that you can overlook either. There’s no clear line to determine what’s right or wrong. You can’t simply judge if someone deserves forgiveness as it entirely depends on the person who’s granting it.
There are no right or wrong answers.
Their relationship was probably a bad fate. You’re not his sister so you have no intention of making up with him even though he’s wearing that pitiful expression. You feel bad for Y/N but you’re not going to live as her shadow forever. Once this story ends you will leave this kingdom and live as yourself. To make that happen you need to keep your relationship with Y/N’s family distant just like before so you could leave without problems in the future.
“How are you feeling?” Y/N has memories of when her brother spoke to her softly like this. Too bad it’s too late for Y/N to see this. You pull your hand away when he tries to hold it.
“This doesn’t change a thing between you and me. I would appreciate it if you could ignore me like before.” You turn away not inclined to see that pitiful expression on his face anymore.
Thankfully he leaves without a fuss this time.
Things are only growing more awkward as time passes. You made the suggestion of dining with them every day to avoid being punished by Biwon, but it comes back to bite you in the ass now that she’s gone, and no one dares to bother you anymore. You ignore the looks of pity you receive from the staff. They were the ones who ignored and badmouthed you. They have no right to take pity on you at all.
Those who did not try to see the truth don’t deserve to feel regretful.
It's annoying to see the duke and your brother try to get closer to you. They have no idea what Y/N had to go through while they were living in their blissful ignorance.
You wonder if things would have been different if she had been born as a boy in this period. Women are often ill-fated. How tragic.
“Your birthday is coming up in a few months. Do you have something in mind about how you want the celebration banquette?” Your fork freezes in the air when the duke calls you.
While you don’t want a party it would be good to build your reputation. You have no choice but to have one.
“I’ll prepare for it. Thank you for your concern.” You keep your eyes on the food. After taking that double dose your appetite seems to be worse than before. You need to gain some weight, you’re too thin as it is.
“Don’t worry about the budget just prepare how you like.” You’re getting dizzy this is getting bad you overestimated and thought some rest was all you needed. You need to take better care of yourself if you want to beat the final boss of the story. This is about time you meet with your favourite character as well. You need to look your best even if he only glances at you for a second. You’re getting excited just thinking about him.
“Alright. Excuse me I’m full.” You step away from the table to leave and prepare for the upcoming events when you lose your sight for a moment. Thankfully the head butler catches you in time that you’re not faceplanting the floor this moment.
“I’m fine. Thank you.” You push the old man away with reddened ears. This is so embarrassing.
“I’ll carry you to your room.” Your hand automatically holds onto your brother when he suddenly picks you up, to keep your balance. Now you’re really getting tired of their sudden act of affection.
“I said. I’m fine.” You pursue your lips in a frown when he keeps ignoring you to let you down.
“You can hate me all you want. I deserve it but I’m not letting you down.” You’re speechless. At least he knows. It doesn’t matter if he has regrets now that you solved everything.
If it weren’t for your effort and sacrifice things would have been left alone and you would be still suffering without anyone to rely on at the hands of your greedy nanny.
They can feel guilty all they want; it doesn’t change a thing. If anything, you’re feeling angrier about how they think they have the right to make things right after everything that has happened.
It’s bothersome.
“It won’t change anything. No matter how hard you try I’ll never consider you as family again. Not after you and father abandoned me. You don’t know anything about me or how much I suffered. If you didn’t care then don’t care now.” It’s probably hard to hear and somewhat you feel guilty for saying that since you don’t know what Y/N would have wanted but this is how you feel.
You’re torn about what you should do.
This is supposed to be your home when you feel the safest.
However, you can’t remember a single good memory or a time when you felt relaxed in this place. It just makes you sad.
“I understand.” His hand around you tightens just a tiny bit before he relaxes his posture and the hands that hold you gently. At least he’s not trying to come up with excuses. He knows fully well that what you told him was the truth. They have no idea how much you had to suffer since they kept ignoring you. His heart is getting heavy when he realises how light his sister feels in his arms. A woman in her twenties should weight a lot more than this. He’s carrying you with care and gently places you on top of your bed. You have no intention of getting closer to him, but it’s been bothering you for a while ever since you saw that memory. You feel like they don’t deserve your kindness. You wonder if Y/N would be forgiving. If she would be able to embrace them and trust them again. You know you can’t.
“You’re not a monster and I’m sorry for saying that so stop thinking about useless things.” You impulsively grab his hand before he can leave. This is all you can give him as an apology – you know Y/N probably would have wanted him to hear that at least. Something wavers in his eyes. You didn’t think such a small gesture would make him cry. Now that you think about it probably no one said such words to him before. His biggest fear. From an early age, he always heard that his mother died because of him. It shouldn’t be a small child’s fault. It makes you feel like this whole family is just unfortunate.
“I’m sorry Y/N.” Jin holds your hand with shaking fingers. You can clearly feel his tears fall as he pushes his face into your palm seeking some comfort. You don’t know how but you can feel that this apology is sincere. You don’t have the heart to push him away this time.
Just this once you will allow it.
“The captain of the imperial guards shouldn’t cry like this.” You pat his head while he cries. Seeing such a powerful figure crying into your skirt on his knees feels weird.
He hadn’t left for a while and even when he did, he looked reluctant. You could tell what he was thinking without having to hear him say it. He’s afraid that the next time you see him you will push him away and avoid him. Your hand on his head and your words comforted him. He’s the one who did wrong but, in the end, you helped him instead deal with his biggest fear a little better.
He realises that he doesn’t deserve such a good sister as you.
His sudden resolve and earnest eyes make you bite your lips in worry. You know it won’t be good when he suddenly turns around with fiery passion. “I, Kim Seokjin give my oath to Kim Y/N that I will protect you for as long as I live. If I break my promise, I’m willing to die a miserable death.” This is your first time seeing someone give their knight’s oath. His hands are elegantly placed over his heart in a kneeling position and his eyes are fierce and honest. Stupid brother, you’re not the one he should give his oath to!
That was not your intention to make him so motivated. You should really learn how to ignore things in the future if you want to avoid bothersome situations like this. It’s not like you can reject him now either.
After he finally left because of work called you collapsed on your bed.
You can’t believe he gives you the knight’s oath instead of the female lead. He’s supposed to fall in love with her and be the miserable second male lead. You expect that things will be different if you change your destiny, but such drastic changes make you anxious for the future development of the plot.
Thankfully your favourite character was not caught up in the love triangle since his territory is the farthest away from the capital. He doesn’t frequent gatherings because of his inability to fully control his powers, and he has a bad reputation overall because of his war achievements and fearful power. Throughout the novel, he is described as someone who doesn’t care about women and is only fixed to find a way to control his abilities.
Min Yoongi you can’t wait to see him at the upcoming hunting festival.
Everything becomes normal and quiet.
Your daily life is better except for the torturous dinners with your family. Thankfully Jin is busy with imperial work and your father manages his new business and duties as a duke, so you don’t have to run into them too much inside the house.
In two or three days you make a trip to see Jungkook and get useful information and sometimes chat over some tea.
What’s next on your list is to gather personal intel on people who will attend the hunting festival. The fact that this is organised by the Duke of Summer is making you anxious. You remember some crazy shit happen around that time and his main target will be your favourite character. Min Yoongi.
Trying not to look too obsessed with a man you’ve never met before you decided to look over his information last.
There’s not much that could be gathered on him (even by a professional information broker as the North keeps their gates locked skin-tight) in the first place the info that your eyes skim through is less than you expected even with the additional stuff that you know because of the novel is limited mostly to his childhood and main events which is not much at all.
He wasn’t present in all the episodes but when he’s involved – well, things were never good.
You don’t know all the archduke’s special abilities which is a concern. You know Min Yoongi can read minds. The limitation to his power is that he has to touch the person to hear all the thoughts but with malicious intent, it doesn’t even need that.
It makes him the second most powerful ability user since he can detect lies and see one’s true self. Someone has to be well aware of his ability to hide something from him.
His special skill is to tell what the other person is thinking good or bad but that means that he could hardly hear his own thoughts. The world is never silent for his ears and that has its consequences. What little is known of them in the outside world is that all the Min descendants had gone mad at some point in their lives and chose to kill themselves when there was another person that could take over the Ducey or their son became of age if they were lucky to hold on until then. Min Yoongi’s tragic childhood is summarised in a few sad lines in the novel it was not overly detailed, but you remember feeling sad.
Whilst your survival is the priority you want to change Yoongi’s fate as well if it’s possible. Even if he’s not going to madly fall in love with you. You want him to have a happy life and not end as tragically as in the novel. You liked his character a lot. Even when he was faced with such hardships, he never gave up he would never succumb to the same fate as his father, and he held on until the last moment of his life.
You admired his determination to live.
You want to do the same with your second chance and hold on until the last moment trying to change your fate.
Who knows maybe you could overcome it together.
So many scenarios run through your head imagining how you will greet him when you finally meet him, what you will say to him. All of those restless nights couldn’t have been wrong when you’re finally faced with him. None of them could get you ready for that hard cold stare that he shows you.
You practically burst open the carriage door after the chaperone states that you’ve arrived.
Being in the same space as your brother and father acting all cute and considerate for almost four full hours made you want to let the ground swallow you whole and never want to see the sun again.
This is when you first make eye contact with him – or so you think. His eyes visibly slip over your face as if he’s not even seeing you just looking through you like you’re one tree of the dozens curving the landscape. It hurts your pride a lot to be invisible to your favourite character, but you gulp it down and hold your head high when you exit the carriage.
You knew it well that he was that type of person, but it didn’t mean it still did not hurt you to see it with your own eyes. There’s one thing to say he’s not interested in women but in reality, it felt like he’s not into humans – not just women. Hearing everyone’s thoughts might be a reason why he would be so over humans that he doesn’t even want to acknowledge them but damn.
Now that you see him and not just read about him you can tell two things already. One, he’s crazy handsome. The lines that describe how good-looking he is does not give him justice. Two, the lines in the novel are too tame to describe how much he loathes to see and interact with anyone. It’s almost comical how disgust is written all over his face when he has to shake hands with nobles or greet the young ladies.
That face still has many admirers even when his expression is a permanent frown all the time. Most likely to his greatest disapproval, he’s very popular with the ladies despite his bad reputation.
You can imagine how annoying it must be for him. Forgetting how you felt hurt before you even started to feel bad for him. His circumstances are unique and, in fact, no one knows what he has to deal with every single day. Even though you know you don’t really know what it feels like.
You’re contemplating how to approach him to not get immediately shut down or seem too suspicious when some of the ladies have you locked in a circle. Seeing their arrogant expressions, you could already tell what would happen when they finally opened their mouths.
“What a surprise to see you attend this year. Are you even allowed to be outside yet?”
You grit your teeth and smile at them.
It’s a waste to argue with them and you’re not here to let them bully you. You came here to see your favourite character and they are already dampening your mood.
“The ladies might need to check their eyesight soon. I arrived here with my brother and father so if you have complaints about me being here you could always go to them.” You speak with a permanent smile but there’s nothing friendly in your expression as you cross them leaving the circle of hyenas behind you.
They’re lesser nobles of course they wouldn’t dare complain to them. Your family is powerful after all one of the four most powerful people in the kingdom is your father. They targeted you specifically because you were an easy target so far too dumb to attack them with words like they do, and Y/N's violent temper just served the right purpose to belittle her and make her the most hated woman in high society. You’re not going to give them the chance to humiliate you anymore. They are just extras in a novel.
The thought alone makes you smile. Right. You’re the main villain in this novel but you’re going to turn it into your story so that you can be the main character in your life.
Something that you always wanted to try.
The first day goes by without incident. After the second day of the hunting festival starts the hunting begins and activities for both the ladies and men begin slowly but surely following the original plot of the novel.
Until there’s a big error occurring in the middle. You don’t remember any banquet happening to welcome the most influential families. This could mean that it wasn’t relevant to the main plot to mention, or things changed somehow and now there’s a sudden dinner plan made by someone.
There’s a banquet held for the four archdukes and their families and while you’re thrilled that you’re seated right across from your favourite character you were not expecting him to death glare you right in front of your salad.   
To your best knowledge you haven’t even greeted him yet so why does he look like he wants to murder your entire family? You’re unsure.
At some point, you stop avoiding him and look him in the eye but still, you can’t read his expression at all.  
You feel like you don’t have to emphasise that you couldn’t eat a single thing at that dinner in peace.
You jump when a man approaches you in the empty hallway and when you look at him something clicks in your mind, now that you think about it you can recognise this man from anywhere. He’s Namjoon his right-hand man the only person that he tolerates.
“You scared the living shit out of me.” You’re so surprised that you don’t check your language before it’s already out in the open. Your eyes are wide as you look at the man probably thinking that you’re a weird person. Shit. Now you’ve done it. You tried so hard until now to remain in character and not use slang words or bad language.
Which is hard on their own as you breathe and live with words that end in fuck most likely than not.
The struggles of a modern woman. Haah.
“I mean you should not hide in the shadows like an assassin ready to strike Mr. You scared me.” You try to put the blame on him entirely so he would forget your previous words and it seems to work as he’s quick to apologise and state his business.
“Duke Min would like to speak with you. If you could please follow me, I will lead you to him.” You narrow your eyes after Namjoon finishes his sentence. Him wanting to see you is very weird.
Why?
“Does this have to do with him glaring at me throughout dinner?” You take a step back narrowing your eyes suspiciously at the man. Even though he’s just the messenger you can’t help but ask. You and him being alone after you witnessed his personality might not be the best idea even if he’s still your favourite character. You don’t want to die by his hands either.
“He.. the duke has a difficult personality but he’s not a bad person. I’m sure he’s just interested in the lady.” You can tell that Namjoon really believes that but for some reason you can’t picture him being interested in you. Y/N might be pretty but the duke is not that kind of person to be captivated by something so shallow as that. That has to be a different reason why he wants to talk with you in private and while you’re anxious.
You decide its best to see what he wants.
Also, he’s not someone that anyone can just say no to. He will most likely force you to meet him. It might be your best option to get this over with and see where this conversation goes. If it even goes anywhere. He’s a practical person like that.
You’re anxious and excited at the same time as you follow Namjoon just a step behind.
“Who are you?” You’re perplexed to meet with this type of question. He cornered you without warning, both his hands were caging your hip, your backside digging into the edge of the table.
You’re scared and strangely excited to be this close. Your heart is beating heavily trying to break out from your ribcage.
“Kim Y/N.” You reply dumbly while still trying to process this sudden change in his behaviour and his closeness to you.
You were greeting him first and suddenly you’re completely caged in.
“Kim? Is Duke Kim your father?” You would find his furrowing brows adorable if you weren’t so close to witnessing it. His scent is overpowering your senses, and your faces are just a hair's breadth away from touching – your favourite character makes it hard for you to think straight. Air is caught in your lungs when he holds you by your chin tilting your head up to meet with his eyes.
“Y-Yes.” You’re unsure what he wants to hear from you. From the moment you stepped into his office, he kept questioning you without answering any of yours in return.
“Am I interrupting something?” Both of your gazes turn to face a surprised Kim Namjoon standing by the door. He looks exactly like he just got here and witnessed something weird happening. You can’t blame him for it, you’re surprised as well. Min Yoongi keeps acting weird. He looks somewhat bewitched as he keeps looking between you and Namjoon almost bordering to look crazy in your eyes for a moment.
As if he’s in a deep thought about something mind breaking discovery.
Yoongi didn’t hear his right hand man coming at all but what’s even weirder than that is he can’t hear his thoughts at all.
It all started when he tried to read this woman’s mind throughout the dinner celebration but failed while everyone’s else mind spoke to him clearly. He found it strange for her to be the only exception. As if she has a shield around her mind that doesn’t allow his power to penetrate. The Kim family’s power is to neutralize other powers (everyone is aware of it as the family never tried to hide it) but that can’t be the answer since he could hear their thoughts all the same as you have to be aware of the power you’re trying to block but no one knows that he can read minds.
But now upon making contact with her, he can’t even hear what others are thinking. Which could mean her power is even more rare compared to her family. Everything is quite like it was never before. It’s unsettling but on the other hand, it’s quiet and peaceful.
A realisation draws on him that Kim Y/N might be the key to finally learning to control this power of his that has been plaguing his generation of heirs and forcing them to live a miserable life until they either take their lives or become insane. Her power acts like a tranquillizer almost. Tasting this peaceful silence Yoongi’s hand curves around her waist more protectively. Protective of this silence he’s experiencing for the first time in his life.
He will do anything to keep this woman by his side from now on. He comes to a firm resolution on the spot.
“Be my wife.” To say you feel shocked after hearing that would be an understatement. This is not your usual love confession, and you know it. There’s nothing tender in his words or expression if anything it feels like a business transaction to you.
It’s clear he’s proposing an arranged marriage kind of deal where you both get something out of it but you’re not fond of the idea. In your previous life, you never had a real boyfriend whilst you dated here and there. Someone you could say is the love of your life you never once experienced that feeling, and you don’t want a marriage in your second life without love. You decided to do anything you wanted from now on.
“I’m sorry but I have to refuse your proposal. I won’t marry a man I know is not in love with me and I don’t love him either. This is not something I want.” Too shocked to reply you use that time to get out of his hold and get away before he regains his senses after getting rejected. He probably didn’t think anyone would dare to say no to him as he was aware to be popular with the ladies. This just makes you even more unique as it was anyone else, they would have said yes immediately to an offer like that. Namjoon gets out of your way as you leave, his mouth hanging open still trying to process that the man who notoriously hates women suddenly asked for a lady’s hand in marriage and getting brutally rejected by one at the same time.
The door shuts behind you abruptly and Yoongi massages his temple with his hands trying to figure out what he did wrong for you to storm out like that. Was his proposal not to your liking? What does it even mean to marry the person you love is beyond his comprehension.
End of part 1.
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bbsantc · 10 months
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my favorite bts fics so far (hyung!line)
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hello lovely readers, i hope all of you are doing great. i've been wanting to make this post for a while now. i really want to share the amazing work and talent that many authors have on this app. as a literature fan and hopeless romantic myself, i made sure to pick out all the fics that i think are beautiful and amazing :)
disclaimers!!!!:
some of these fics contain nsfw content (minors dni), or some heavy themes, i am yoongi biased so excuse me if the fic ratio compared to the other members is waaayy bigger (like by a lot i am so so sorry), also this post is insanely long heh (once again, i am so so sorry :p), all pictures are from pinterest!
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fluff- ♾️
angst- Ω
smut- ☻
crack/humor- ☼
i would sell my liver to read this again for the first time- ¶
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Kim Seokjin
Turn Back Time- @raplinesmoon ♾️☼Ω☻
''pairing: baseball player!Seokjin x doctor!reader (based on the movie 13 Going On 30) genres/au/rating: fluff, humour, angst, smut, time travel au, 18+ summary: After total humiliation at his middle school baseball try outs, Kim Seokjin wants nothing more than for his awkward years to fade away until he’s thirty. Cue a magic baseball glove, and his wish is finally granted. Seokjin suddenly wakes up seventeen years later, now the star pitcher of the team he’d always dreamed of playing for. Confused and overwhelmed at the prospect of the new life waiting for him, he turns to the only person who seems to understand him — you. Will Seokjin learn what it truly means to be thirty, flirty, and thriving? Or will he find himself wishing he could turn back time?''
Every Year- @another-army-spot ♾️Ω☻
''Pairing: Jin x Reader, some implied Yoongi x reader and Namjoon x reader
Word: 15.6K
Genre: friends-to-lovers!au, richkids!au, chef!Jin, bookworm!oc, hard fluff, smut angst?
Summary:  As the daughter of the Kim’s closest friends, you’ve attended their extravagant annual New Year’s party since the year you were born.  No matter what you always spend time with your favorite childhood friend, Jin, who has always been there for you.  Here are the highlights of you and Jin realizing just how important you two are to each other.''
Let's get married as a joke- @burningupp Ω♾️
''Genre: angst, fluff
Pairing: Kim Seokjin x reader
Wordcount: 8210 (I’m so sorry)
Summary: Your best friend Jin has always had a talent of getting you into trouble. Maybe that’s why you’re not surprised that he asks you to marry him as a joke - or that you agree.''
friends get married all the time- @hobipost♾️
''The silly promise you made ten years ago comes back to bite your asses, and you’re both too weak to pretend it never happened
pairing: seokjin x f. reader
genres/tropes: friends to lovers, fluff
words: 2k+''
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Min Yoongi
series:
The Truth Between Us- @jimlingss @gukyi ♾️Ω ☼ ¶
“⇒ summary: a book deal should be the most exciting time of your life, but there seems to be a constant and omnipresent damper on your mood in the form of a certain min yoongi, who you would just cut out from your life, if he weren’t your editor. but then, the world shifts beneath your feet, and you begin to wonder if maybe you’ve always been looking at life from the wrong angle.
⇒ enemies to lovers au with various other au’s thrown in there
⇒ word count: 14k (first chapter)
⇒ genre: fluff, angst, drama”
Dating advice- @taleasnewastime ♾️Ω☻
''Summary: It’s been months – ok, it’s been years – since you last went on a date. And you’re sick of it. Sick of seeing couples kissing and holding hands in the street. Sick of your friends settling down. Sick of everyone buying houses and having families. You’re going to do something about it. You’re going to snap up a man, you’re going to tie someone down, you’re going to finally commit, you’re going to – you’re going to need a bit of advice.
Pairing: Yoongi x reader
Genre: fluff; angst; smut
Word count: 54k
Status: Complete''
unexpected lovers- @jjkeverlast ♾️Ω☻
''-> pairing artist!yoongi x female reader
-> genre fake dating!au, romantic comedy
-> summary what happens when you meet min yoongi at the club, or well accidentally use him as your pawn to not get hit on. not knowing your cousins friend overhears and suddenly your whole family knows.
-> word count 19.8k''
Only Yesterday- @borathae ♾️☻Ω ¶
'' “Your life in a small countryside village was nothing of the extraordinary, you owned a quaint little teashop, enjoyed warm evenings in your garden and liked taking walks by the river. One day a handsome stranger moves in the abandoned cottage opposite side of the river and it is not long that he becomes a source of comfort in your life.”
Pairing: Yoongi x f.Reader
Genre: s2l!AU, Neighbours!AU, Teashop!AU, Slice of Life!AU, Romance, Fluff, Smut
Warnings: This is a very feel good story, meant to comfort the soul and warm the heart. However it contains talks about car accidents and memory loss, as well as sexually explicit scenes. If you are sensitive to such topics I advise you read with care. 
Wordcount: 78.620''
Signed in Black- @yoon-kooks♾️☻
''Pairing: Yoongi x Reader
Genre: Soulmate!AU, BadBoy!AU, FLUFF, Smut [in future chapters]
Summary: Min Yoongi. That was the name magically tattooed to your skin. You were told he was your lover by fate. And as cute as it would be to have a soulmate, Yoongi was the last person you ever wanted to be bound to. But thankfully, there was a way to remove the tattoo. All you had to do was convince six Bulletproof Fairies that the two of you were in love.
Word Count: 3.3k'' (first chapter)
neon signs- @pantoneyoongi ♾️¶
''title ; neon signs [ drabble series ]  pairing ; campus crush!yoongi x campus crush!you 
description ; namjoon doesn’t think it can get any clearer outside of yoongi building a giant neon sign saying i have the absolute biggest crush on you but apparently, book smarts don’t exactly translate when it comes to you and your massive crush on min yoongi.
(alternatively: namjoon and hoseok try for three years straight to get you and yoongi together.)''
Reflection of You- @agustdakasuga ♾️Ω ¶
''Genre: Historical!AU, Timetraveller!AU/ Different Dimension, Romance
Pairing: SUGA x Reader, Yoongi x Reader
Characters: Normal!Reader, Idol!Suga, King!Yoongi, Guard!Seokjin, Guard!Jungkook, RoyalAdvisor!Namjoon, Servant!Jimin, Servant!Hoseok, Prince!Taehyung
Summary: Confirming you were dating the famous Min Suga of BTS, you knew you were bound to make some enemies. But what you didn’t expect was to be cursed, leading you to meet a cold-hearted, arrogant king that shares the same face as your rapper lover. ''
your universe- @muniimyg ♾️☻Ω ☼
''in which min yoongi refuses to lose you
regretting rejecting oc, min yoongi goes through a circus load of gestures and tasks in attempt to be loved again
pairings:
basketball captain // tsundere yoongi + sunshine // preschool edu major oc
au/genre:
friends to lovers 
uni au
one sided pining / rejection / redemption / a sad excuse of a slow burn
smut, crack, angst
social media au + written
warnings:
implied + actual smut
angst (oc is heartbroken and trying to move on from being initially rejected)
name calling, love/hate friendships, big egos, overprotective friends, childish social culture, and a burnt out era &lt;;3 
parts:
ongoing ( ongoing/25 )''
andante cantabile- @kkulfm-2 ♾️☻¶
''pairing: myg x f!reader
genre: historical / regency au, fluff, smut
wc: 30.6k + 3.8k smutty bonus
summary: You are convinced Mr. Min is nothing but a rude and gloomy man after he leaves a horrible first impression on you. His friends' attempts to convince you otherwise are met with mixed success.''
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oneshots:
Man of The Year- @raplinesmoon ♾️¶
''pairing: single dad!Yoongi x gn!reader genre(s): pure fluff, very minor angst au(s): graduation au word count: 2.7k warnings: some swearing, Yoongi is a little nervous, Yoongi is bad at flirting, this is so cute I could cry
rating: PG
summary: For the longest time, it’s always been Yoongi and his daughter, celebrating every milestone of life together. But today, that could change.''
Shut Eye- @alpacaparkaseok ♾️
''pairing/genre: idol!Yoongi x reader, fluff
premise: In a world where every night you meet your soulmate in your dreams only to forget their face and voice when you wake up, you’re now more desperate than ever to find them.
word count: 2.6k''
gold- @aquagustd Ω♾️☻
''↣ you’re in love with Min Yoongi, yes, you are, but why do you keep thinking of the boy who broke your heart into a million pieces when you should be focusing on the one who’s mending it.
pairing: yoongi x reader (past jungkook x reader)
genre: angst, fluff, smut, bff2l
word count: 17K''
stood up. -@parkdatjimin Ω☻♾️
''Three years after dumping your toxic boyfriend, you decide it's finally time to try the dating scene again. What you don't expect is for a handsome and confident CEO to come to your rescue after being stood up.
"Just play along. My name is Yoongi and whoever stood you up is a douche."
Pairings: CEO!yoongi x fem!reader
Genre: HEAVY angst, smut, lil fluff, slice of life, mutual pining, non-idol!au''
First-Date BAIT!- @jimlingss ♾️
''Words: 11.3k
Genre: Fluff
First dates are embarrassing. First dates are awkward. I’ve been through countless ones, sitting across from people who bored the living daylights out of me. It was less exciting than watching paint dry. Some dates were so utterly rude - I think you and I both know what it’s like to be on the receiving end on that. But now we both don’t have to waste our time anymore!
With First Date Bait they went out for me! Afterwards, they informed me if it was recommended to go out on a second date. It’s amazing with a 99.99% accuracy rate! That’s how I ended up meeting my husband!
First Date Bait. Why waste your time with awkward first dates?''
DreamCatcher- @jimlingss ♾️Ω
''Words: 13k (oops)
Genre: Fluff & Angst
Summary: When your dreams are more or less nightmares, monsters inside your head that eat you alive, it seems like the only person who can help you is Min Yoongi, professional dream chaser.''
Purr-haps I like you- @taleasnewastime ♾️
''Summary: You have a no pets policy where you live, but when you find a tiny kitten in a box on the side of the road, what can you do but bring it home with you? The only problem? The landlord who made the no pets rule, also happens to be your flatmate.
Pairing: Yoongi x reader
Genre: pure fluff; Flatmates au
Word count: 11.6k''
Wild Strawberries- @yoonia ♾️☻
''➤ Character / Genre: Min Yoongi x reader/female OC (told through Yoongi’s POV) | Lucid Dream!au, fluff, smut''
first love- @jungnoir Ω♾️
''⇢ summary:  yoongi meets you, seated next to him at a familiar brown piano, and he steals you away hours before your wedding day, seated next to him at a familiar brown piano + yoongi’s been in love with you since childhood and he only has the courage to tell you when you’re about to marry someone else.
⇢ relationship: min yoongi/reader.
⇢ genre: best friend!au, angst, romance. 
⇢ words: 5.6k''
strike a chord- @snackhobi ♾️☻¶
''pairing: yoongi x reader // word count: 15.8k // genre: smut
summary: your idea of a good night certainly doesn't involve being stood up by yet another blind date and finding yourself alone in a fancy bar; fortunately for you, there's an attractive man playing the piano to keep you busy, instead.''
Anyone But The Groom- @yoonjinkooked ♾️Ω☻
''❅ Summary: After a meet-cute that brings all the romcoms to shame, you realize that for once in your life, the stars have finally aligned and presented you a guy that might be able to make you believe in love at first sight. Only to find out that you’re in charge of planning his Christmas Eve Wedding.
❅ Pairing: Yoongi x female reader
❅ AU: Wedding Planner reader x Arranged Marriage groom Yoongi
❅ Genre: fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, will-they-won’t-they type of relationship
❅ Word Count: 36.5k (I AM SO SORRY)''
Not Even a Mouse- @softyoongiionly ♾️☻¶
''Summary:  The week before Christmas, you are tasked with delivering some paperwork to your father’s former business partner in order to secure your ownership of their legendary toy store. However, things don’t go as planned and a sudden blizzard keeps you cooped up inside the tiniest town you’ve ever seen, Snow Falls. You keep telling yourself that it’s the weather that’s keeping you here, but after a visit to Min’s Mini Mart, you aren’t so sure anymore…
Pairing: Single Dad! Yoongi x Reader
Genre: Romance, FLUFF, Smut (18+ only please)''
All I Want for Christmas (ft. Yoongi)- @hayjeon ♾️Ω
''→ singledad, CEO!yoongi x secretary!reader→ 13k words''
ceo!yoongi- @jungshookz ♾️☻☼ ¶
''→ pairing: min yoongi x reader 
→ genre: ceo!au, clumsy!y/n because that’s always nice, jimin is ur best friend, floofy fluff, a touch of nsfw aka office sex
→ wordcount: 21k+ so u should probably read this using ur laptop and not ur phone''
first love | myg- @lavienjin ☻Ω
''synopsis: After an incredibly long day, Yoongi found you crying in the copy room. Though he doesn’t talk much, you’ve always found his presence comforting, and it didn’t surprise you when he stayed and listen to you vent. However, while you sought comfort in his embrace, he proposed a special offer to reduce your stress with the magic of his hands. The only catch to your arrangement? You couldn’t fall in love.
But wouldn’t you know it, just as your friendship deepens into something more, you find an old notebook sitting on his bookshelf, and in it, a collection of poems. The last entry has you reeling because it’s addressed to you. And in that page, a single line is written: Without you, I am nothing
pairing: yoongi x reader
wc: 11.3k
genre/rating/au: 18+ | fwb, coworkers, f2l au | smut, angst
warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, semi public sex, multiple smut scenes, multiple orgasms, oral (m. & f. receiving), masturbation, exhibition, lots of feelings. like a lot of feelings :(''
A Boy Like You | Yoongi- @cinnaminsvga ♾️¶
''→ summary: for whenever you are feeling low, always remember that there is a boy you know who would lift the sky for you.
{or alternatively: Min Yoongi loves you, though he never says it. He’s always been a firm believer in that actions speak louder than any words ever could.}
→ genre: coworker!au, f2l, fluff''
when the stars align- @itskimtaehyung ♾️Ω
''Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader
Genre: FakeDating!AU with a hint of roommates (well actually more like apartment-mates but roommates is catchier), College!AU, fluff, angst
Word count: 10.5k
Content/Warnings: Mentions of heavy drinking, drug usage, strong language, but also cute things like adopting a dog together
Summary: With cuffing season approaching its end, you thought you had escaped the pressures of finding a boyfriend for the holidays. That is, until your friends set you up on a blind date that goes horribly wrong. This prompts you to enlist the help of your roommate, Yoongi, to fake a relationship so your friends will stop meddling in your love life. And it turns out Yoongi is a lot better at this romance thing than you originally thought…''
p.o.v | myg- @jtrbluv ♾️Ω
''summary: you were eight when you first met your soulmate. then you were eighteen when you realized that the boy who just got hired at the local record store next door, is also your soulmate. the issue at hand: you are the only one that knows.
pairing: yoongi x reader (fem)
genre: fluff, angst, soulmate!au, redstringoffate!au, college!au, high school!au
word count: 17.9k''
Yoongi is a Rock- @yoongsisbae ♾️Ω ¶
''rock!Yoongi x reader :D fluff a bit of angst a lot of silliness
Word Count 1.3k''
android!yoongi- @jungshookz♾️Ω☻☼ ¶
''→ pairing: min yoongi x reader
→ genre: android!au becauSe for some reason android aus are popping up everywhere, the usual heaping serving of fluff and comedy, N S F W like reALLY nsfw i poPPED OFF this time i don’t know even know what happened,,, forgive me god for i have sinned, a n g s t, i definitely teared up a little writing this because i was listening to kim bum soo’s i miss you and it made me 100x more emo
→ trigger warnings: this does get a little intense! beware!! 
→ wordcount: 24k like that bruno mars song''
you’re so concerned about the ending that you don’t even know the plot- @joonsgalaxy ♾️☼
''° yoongi x reader x taehyung
° 1.9 k words ° fluff/humour
🌟 you bring your broken laptop to Tae—the IT specialist—who you have a crush on. you drag your bff Yoongi along with you, who—you’re certain—has a crush on Tae too. what a mess, right? well, the thing is, you never even considered the possibility of your assumptions being totally wrong.''
better place- @cupofteaguk ♾️
''summary: you might be in love with childhood best friend Min Yoongi, and he might be in love with you—and everyone seems to know it. except for the two of you.
pairing: yoongi x fem!reader
genre: hogwarts au, friends to lovers au | fluff
warnings: slow burn, alcohol consumption, truly lowkey an idiots to lovers au word count: 14k''
something to hold on to- @fantasybangtan ♾️Ω ¶
''❦ word count. 17.7k ❦ genre. parent fic, fluff, angst, a bit of boob action ❦ warnings. illness, mention of hospitalisation, mention of minor character death, yoongi is kind of a dick sometimes, accidental(?) flashing ❦ summary. it’s not that you don’t like your job. on the contrary, reading bedtime stories to a certified little princess is something you still can’t believe you get paid to do. it’s just that between all the school runs, snow days and secret second hot chocolates before bed, you may fallen a little too hard for those dimpled cheeks and gummy smiles…. worse still, you’ve fallen for her father too.''
the proposal- @dreamescapeswriting ♾️Ω☻
''WORD COUNT: 35K (No its not missing a decimal point)
PAIRING: CEO!Yoongi x Assistant!Reader
GENRE: Smut, enemies to lovers, CEO x Assistant, fake marriage, angst, movie inspired, slow burn''
basketballcaptain!yoongi- @jungshookz ♾️☻☼ ¶
''→ pairing: min yoongi x reader
→ genre: basketball captain x water girl, cheesy cheesy stuff, the FLUFFIEST fluff, jungoo is an idiot, humour, nSFW = smut, cocky yoongi, spoiler alert yoongi does a body shot off of u it just be like that sometimes
→ wordcount: 18.4k this will definitely make the app crash as per usual don’t come for me''
Hug-o-gram- @cinnaminsvga ♾️☼ ¶
''→ summary: 
“This is probably the dumbest idea you’ve ever had,” Yoongi hisses, but it’s kind of hard for Seokjin to take him seriously when he’s wearing a cardboard sign around his neck that says ‘Huggie Wuggie Machine!’ in bubble font. 
“Like, even worse than when we DIY’d your car into a convertible by sawing the top off?” Seokjin asks, genuinely curious. 
“Worse,” Yoongi admits, trying his best to stay out of your line of sight. His cheeks redden, matching the gaudy pink kitten ears he was forced into wearing.
{or alternatively: Seokjin is a terrible wingman. He also runs a profitable business by sending hugs to people’s crushes for a fee. Mix them together and you have a recipe for Min Yoongi’s worst nightmare.}
→ genre: college!au, hugging booth!au,fluff, humor → warnings: yoongi is so smitten that he’s a walking disaster, so much shy!yoongi to the point where you’ll want to scream, seokjin just tryna get his homie some y/n love coochie bro ;o; → words: 13.3K''
I Wanna Hold Your Hand- @minisugakoobies ♾️
''Pairing: Yoongi x Reader (Gender Neutral)
Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, fluff, Roommates!AU
Rating: T
Warnings: pining, a lil’ smooching, Yoongi is very persuasive, reader is easily duped, it’s as fluffy as freshly fallen snow
Word Count: 1.4K
Disclaimers: None, other than obviously I don’t own BTS - they simply inspire me
Summary: It’s hand-holding season, according to your roommate.''
subtle- @joonary ♾️Ω
''↳ summary: just another memory added to the long list of drunk memories that you’ll forget but wish you’d remember, while yoongi will remember but wish he could forget. 
↳ genre: fluff; light angst; friends (?) to lovers (?); min yoongi x reader
↳ rating: pg-13
↳ warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, and yoongi’s soft spots being exposed to the light of day. yknow, just another joonary fic.
↳ word count: 3.5k''
Hobi's Girl- @jjungkookislife Ω☻
''↬ pairing: f. reader x Hoseok, f. reader x Yoongi
↬ genre: smut [18+], angst
↬ summary: Yoongi had a wonderful night with you… but you’re Hobi’s girl.
↬ wc: 4.8k''
The King Isn’t Dead- @another-army-spot ♾️Ω☻
''Pairing: Yoongi x oc (fem)
Rating:  M
Word: 19.7k~ (my finger slipped?)
Genre:  historical fic, smut, romance, fluff, angst, political upheaval shit
Summary:  After the invasion and the King’s miraculous survival, the nation aims to secure stability and his position of power through the prospect of marriage and continuing the Min line.  As a promise to your brother on the battlefield, the King promises to consider you as his potential wife - to love and to protect.  Or maybe it’ll be the other way around?''
the landlord- @ppersonna ☻
''↳ summary- your air conditioner breaks right at the height of a recordbreaking heat wave.  good thing your hot landlord, yoongi, knows how to attend to any needs you may have.
↳ rating- explicit / 18+
↳ word count- 4.3k
↳ pairing- yoongi x reader
↳ genre- smut, light crack, PWP''
CYBERSEX- @gimmethatagustd ♾️☻☼
''The whole point of being a phone sex hotline operator is that you’ll never have to meet your clients. So what are you supposed to do when you find out your favorite client is your brother’s best friend? 
» pairing: yoongi x fem!reader 
» wc/date: 14.6k | July 2022
» genre: BTS | 18+ | brother’s best friend | smut | fluff | humor
» warnings: alcohol | blowjob | car sex | creampie | dirty talk | fingering | masturbation | pet names | phone sex | pussy slapping | sex work | unprotected vaginal sex''
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Jung Hoseok
hot rod- @kinktae ♾️☻
''a 1950′s inspired fic where greaser Hoseok can’t keep his eyes, or hands, off the new waitress at his and his boys’ favorite diner.
pairing: greaser!hoseok x reader
word count: 10k
genre: 1950s au, smut, fluff''
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Kim Namjoon
The Bodyguard- @rmnamjoons ♾️☻Ω
''➳ summary: You’re the daughter of the ambassador to a small, peaceful, barely-on-the-map country in Western Europe, working as a diplomat to help your mother with her endless meetings and politics. After a kidnapping attempt gone wrong, you and your protective bodyguard Namjoon are on the run across Europe, jumping from trains, stealing cars, and pretending to be a couple on your honeymoon to stay hidden. As the would-be kidnappers close in, Namjoon promises you that he’s going to keep you safe, no matter the cost.
➳ pairing: bodyguard!Namjoon x reader
➳ genre: bodyguard au, romance, smut, fake dating/fake marriage, road trip (kinda), very slight angst
➳ word count: 62.9k – this is a complete, VERY long oneshot''
Show Me How- @imaginationofacrazyfangirl ☻ ¶
''Summary:You swiped right on a nerd, instead you got a Greek God. Or tired of your virginity, you decide to throw caution to the wind and find a hook up on tinder.
— PAIRING: Namjoon x f!reader
— GENRE: smut. 18+ minors dni.''
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I'll continue in a pt.2
(tumblr doesn't let me write more lmao)
975 notes · View notes
chimivx · 2 months
Text
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champagne confetti.
pairing: Idol!Yoongi x Female!Reader (ot7 minus two) (vegas addition)
summary: Jungkooks secret listening party is full of surprises.
word count: 7400
warnings: 18+, adults doing adults things and talking about adult things, no explicit sexual content, drinking, mentions of miscarriage/pregnancy talk, IF I MISSED ANYTHING PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!
a/n: I was supposed to post this in the beginning of January. Apologies for the delay, been goin thru some things. Love you all. xo. This feels like an ending... But, I dunno... It also feels incomplete...
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~ october 11th, 2023 ~
It took three rings for her to answer the phone.
Leaning over the bathroom counter, iPhone propped up against the mirror, your lips were pressed together firmly, an unreadable expression as Sunny’s bright smile popped up on the screen and fell within milliseconds, her pink glossy lips frowning. Behind her, palm trees and sunshine, a backdrop she’s become accustomed to, one she belongs in front of.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, squinting. Voices chattered in the background, a prominent one belonging to none other than Khloe Kardashian herself.
Taking a deep breath, you asked, “You’re filming?”
“No, having dinner with the girls,” she spoke fast, her eyes locked on you. “What’s going on? You okay? Dae okay? I can fly back.”
A small smile broke onto your lips. Nerves jittered in your veins, your heart beating a little faster than it should be. “We’re okay, just finished breakfast. She’s running around my room right now, she’s obsessed with Kook’s dirty ass song. We’ve had to listen to it everyday. Everyday, Sun. I hate it.”
“The Jack Harlow one?” she asked, and your grimace answered for you, making her cackle.
“First Seven, now this,” you said, teeth clenched. “What happened to sweet baby Jungkook?”
Sunny’s laugh sounded through your phone once more, triggering the pitter patter of little footsteps to come barreling into the bathroom door. “Honey, you’re funny, you know who changed that man.”
Your smile grew, shaking your head because you knew damn well who changed that man. Glancing to your right down at the floor, a two year old in pastel yellow footed pajamas was watching you, holding onto the doorframe with her little hands. There were messy pigtails in her hair, black as night, the skinny rubber bands slipping out after a good night's sleep. Eyes wide, the ghost of a smile on her face, she knew who you were talking to. 
“Hi,” you said to her, and she giggled, her cheeks squishing her eyes like her fathers would.
“Dae?!” Sunny called, lurching forward in her seat. She excused herself from the table and hurried into whoever’s house she was at, walking into a hallway grander than your own. Your daughter’s lips parted, curiosity written all over the face she stole from your husband. 
“Who is it?” you asked, keeping your eyes on the toddler as she walked toward you, wrapping her arms around one of your legs.
“Where’s my girl?” Sunny’s tone was eager, all she could see was the top of your head. Crouching down to pick Dae up, you propped her on your hip and grinned as Sunny gasped. “Hello, beautiful!”
Dae smiled, looking down at the phone, then looked at you, putting a finger between her little teeth.
“Say hi to Sunny,” you nodded, brushing leftover crumbs from breakfast off of her pajamas. “Tell her you haven’t brushed your hair yet today.” Another dramatic gasp came out of the phone, catching Dae’s attention.
“Baby, you tell your mother I blame her for that.” Sunny clicked her tongue. “You can’t even reach your hairbrush, it is not your fault.” She squinted at the screen. “She had those rubber bands yesterday, Honey, get them out!”
Dae was laughing, Sunny’s silly tone making her giggle in your arms, subsequently making you giggle along with her. “Dae,” you said softly after a breath, your daughter pointing her gaze at you. “Tell Sunny we’ve been really busy.” Your Californiacated best friend froze, her sculpted eyebrows furrowing a bit.
“Busy,” Dae said, copying you, her listening ears on full alert. Her little voice soft, smooth, the words broken as she tried to pronounce everything correctly.
“I’ve been gone for two weeks,” Sunny deadpanned. “How busy can you be?”
A laugh escaped you, Dae smiling back at you.
“Hey,” Sunny whined, “I’m over here, girl party, I want in on the secret,” she glanced around the room she was in, “I’m alone, promise.”
Your girl threw her arms around your shoulders, burying her head into your chest. Taking a look at Sunny, you laughed again at how smushed she looked on the screen, like she was trying to push her way through. Tapping your daughters back a few times where you held her, she perked up, still wearing a smile.
“Do you want to show Sunny?” you sighed, the nerves spiraling out of control.
“Show Sunny,” Dae said, drumming her hands on your shoulder.
“Show me what?!” Sunny cried from the phone.
A sudden deep breath shot through you. Dae, studying your form, placed a hand on your cheek, getting you to look over at her. You’ve seen the sparkle in her eyes elsewhere, in someone you’ve been without for a few weeks now. Someone you both had to say goodbye to, a day you wished to never have to relive.
She was half his, Dae was. Half Yoongi. A part of him you could still hold onto during these long months he’d be gone. It was never certain when you’d get to see him again throughout his service, but you held onto to hope that it was sometime soon. Especially now.
“I love you,” you whispered to your baby.
Dae, without missing a beat, whispered, “I love you.”
~ november 4th 2023 ~
Music played throughout the room soft enough to still be able to hear the person next to you speaking, yet loud enough to keep conversations private. Dressed in all black, flowing pants and a long sleeved bodysuit, you walked throughout the room with your chin held high, eyes searching the place for a familiar face. You’d come with Sunny, but she was stolen away from you the second you stepped in the door.
The night was alive, this venue buzzing with excitement and happy vibes as people who were both close friends or acquaintances of Jungkook came together to celebrate his brand new album, Golden. After listening to him, and watching him work on this project for ages, it meant so much to be able to be a part of this night. He was the last one to put out any solo music, meaning this was a celebration for the end of an era, and you were not ready for the start of the next one.
The one where you’d have to do life without any one of the seven boys around.
Greeting a few familiar faces, and a few new ones who just started to pay attention to you this year because of what went down in February, you moved throughout the room with a sprinkle of attention on you. During Yoongi’s tour that you were very much involved with, your daughter included, your entrance into the media world exploded. After February and the announcement, of course word of his family spread like wildfire, but the tour brought it all to life.
Now that he was gone the people who spoke to you tonight gave you the sympathetic half smile and nod, asking you how you and Dae were holding up without him. To each and everyone of them, you’d grin and shrug, letting them know this was no different than him being on tour, or him going away for work. Time spent a part was the story of your life. Especially after the last three years with your daughter.
Though, you weren’t going to lie, this go around the time a part was rough. You aren’t able to call him whenever you please, nor was he able to jump on a plane, or get in a car and come home to you whenever he felt like he needed just twenty minutes of your time. He truly was absent, and it sucked. Your two year old didn’t understand it, though she was used to her father being away. That much she got, but when it came down to not being able to see him through a phone screen as often as she pleased, she became a pouty mess.
Within the last month Dae has definitely become more clingy than you’d have wanted, but you knew that was just because she was having some big feelings that she didn’t understand yet. Both you and Yoongi prayed that this wouldn’t have a large impact on her and her development as she got older, her father being gone for such a chunk of time in her early years of life. You made it a point to talk about him every single day, play his videos, play voicemails he left you in preparation for this, listen to his music, and show her pictures of them together.
It wasn’t a worry she’d forget about him, it was a worry that she’d forget how he loved her.
The two of you had just watched a video of him talking to her before you left the house to come to the party, the clip leaving you in tears. He was in his office sitting in the leather chair at his desk, his hair messy over his forehead and his eyes tired. The weeks before he left were brutal for you both. He spoke to her with intention, repeating on and on how much he loved her, and how much he missed her, that he was proud of her and that she would see him very soon.
He tried his hardest to not shed a tear, but it happened anyway, and in true Yoongi fashion he laughed it off. After speaking to Dae he turned his words to you, knowing you’d be watching with her. He didn’t do this every time, he left other things just for you, so it was a complete surprise. As expected, your husband declaring his love for you, in front of your daughter, left you in tears.
But, the story of your life, right?
Smoothing your hands over your middle, smiling at a group of girls walking past you who had bowed their heads, you approached the bar, finding exactly who you were looking for. The boy dressed in all white towered over you, the view of his back from behind unbelievable. He stood next to Namjoon who was just as tall as him, but not nearly as wide. The maknae passed him a while ago.
Pushing between both of them, just below their shoulders, a smile pulled at your lips as they stepped away from you, then gasped once they realized it was you.
“Honey!” Namjoon cheered, slinging an arm around your back to give you a hug. Throwing both of your arms around his broad shoulders, you pulled him close and squeezed him, standing on your tiptoes.
“Hi,” you said quietly, pecking a quick kiss to his cheek. “Missed you guys,” you sighed, turning to Jungkook who waited patiently for his hug. “You’re all too busy now.” You barely had your arms around him before Jungkook was lifting you off the floor, burying his face in the crook of your neck. “Kook!” you giggled. “Put me down, I’m fragile!”
“Fragile,” he laughed, following directions, making sure you were balanced in your black boots before he let go of you. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he smiled at you, one that was all too big.
“Me too,” you returned the smile and snatched his hand, giving it a squeeze. 
“How’s the baby?” Namjoon asked, leaning against the bar with an elbow. Whirling around, you shot him a wide eyed look. “Dae?” His smile relieved almost every nerve that sparked in your heart.
“Dae,” you breathed. “She’s amazing.” The boys smiled, always happy to hear you speak of your daughter. “She’s… doing her best right now. We both are. She misses him.”
Namjoon pursed his lips and gave you the sympathetic nod so many other people have already given you. “Understandable,” he said. “It’s tough.”
“It is,” you shrugged. “But, we knew it was coming, so I’m… somewhat alright. It’s just hard to try to explain it to a two year old.”
A bartender sped by the back of the bar to refill glasses with Golden etched on them, placing down new ones for those who had just shown up, you included. Champagne bubbled in the glass that you were definitely heading home with. Jungkook grabbed two, holding one out for you to take.
“We’re not sad today,” he grinned. Glancing at the glass, you gulped and looked up at him.
“I’m not gonna drink, Kook,” you said quietly. Namjoon, already downing half his glass, perked a brow.
Jungkook nodded and turned toward the bar to place the glass down, but then froze, facing you without doing so. “Wait, hang on,” he said. “Where’s she at?” His eyes narrowed.
“Sunny?” you questioned. “Somewhere around here, I think-”
“No,” he cut you off, grilling you with his gaze. “Dae.”
A nervous laugh escaped you. “Kook, she’s not here.”
“Liar, where is she?” He did a once over of the room, his hardened gaze falling upon you again.
Rolling your eyes, you sighed, placing a hand on your hip. “She’s at home, probably begging Branson to play that god awful song you made about ejaculating on someone's face.” Behind you Namjoon lost his mind, nearly spitting out his drink. You shot him a look over your shoulder. “You’re not off the hook Mr. Smoke Sprite.”
Jungkook would have laughed if his jaw hadn’t fallen open in shock, a big ol’ smile behind it all. “She doesn’t like that song.” His whisper was laced with disappointment, eyebrows twisting into a knot in the center of his forehead.
Thinning out your lips, you nodded. “Loves it, Jungkook. She loves it.”
“Oh no,” he groaned, rolling his head back, taking a gulp of champagne. “Don’t let her listen to it, not my girl.”
“Now, whenever you feel like making a song like that ever again, you think about her,” you started to smile, knowing your words would make an impact. “You want someone to treat her like that when she’s all grown up?”
He scrunched his nose and pouted at you. “No,” he mumbled.
“Exactly,” you nodded once and took the champagne glass from him, taking a sip before stopping dead in your tracks. Processing your situation, Namjoon and Jungkook sandwiching you at the crowded bar, there really was no way for you to be sneaky about this. With the glass in your hand, you sideyed them both, a mouthful of champagne marinating on your tongue. Closing your eyes, you took a breath and accepted your fate, a stream of champagne falling from your lips back into the glass in your hands.
“I knew it,” Namjoon muttered. You could hear the smugness written all over his face. You gave him the quickest look without giving anything away, and turned to Jungkook whose face was screwed up, completely confused.
“Just drink it, Hon,” he laughed. “Dae’s home, you’re here to be you, you don’t have to worry about…” Voice trailing off, he paused and eyed you curiously. Then it all seemed to click at once. “Are you lying?” Testing the waters, he held in his jitters, but you could see it all building up beneath the surface. “You’re ly- Shit, no you wouldn’t do that… You’re… Honey, you swear?” 
Taking a long deep breath, you placed your glass on the bar and shrugged your shoulders. He exhaled heavily, a single laugh coming out with it. He held his arms out at his sides, putting his own glass down, trying to gauge how you were feeling by your body language. Namjoons eyes flickered between the two of you, allowing you your moment before he stepped in.
“It’s, like… brand new. Really brand new,” you said, raising your eyebrows. “Sunny knows, but that’s it. I’m not trying to… get anyones hopes up.” Speaking carefully, like you were warning them, Namjoon was the only one to nod in respect for what you had said. Jungkook understood of course, but his heart always got the best of him first. “I found out three weeks ago, I’m barely two months in.”
“Holy shit,” Jungkook whispered, pulling you into his arms. He shared a look with Namjoon, one you thankfully couldn’t see, a slightly worried one. Laying your head on his chest, the chains he wore cold against your cheek, you closed your eyes and let his hands on your back soothe some of the anxiety you’d been feeling since you saw the two little lines in your bathroom back in October. “I’m so happy for you, Honey.”
“Thanks, Kookie,” you said, painting a smile on your lips. “I haven’t been able to say the words yet,” you admitted, pulling back from him. Hugging Namjoon who congratulated you quietly, you couldn’t help but laugh. “Thirty years old and I can’t say the words.”
“That’s okay,” Namjoon said, embodying the word empathy.
Letting his calm, peaceful aura bleed into yours, you bobbed your head. “It is okay,” you repeated, not allowing you to gaslight yourself. Averting your gaze to the bar you shrugged your shoulders once more. “I just hope I have the courage to say them to him.” The boys were quiet, focused on you, listening intently. “It’s a shitty time for this to happen, I think, but not in the sense that… Well, you know what I mean?”
“Course,” Jungkook said, brows pointed.
“It’s just with Dae already having a hard time, Yoongi having a hard time, me, myself having a hard time,” you paused to collect your thoughts, squinting down at the wood. “What we just went through not even a year ago? I am just freaked the absolute fuck out that I’m going to go through it alone this time.”
“You can’t do that to yourself,” Namjoon spoke with ease. “Don’t add any more stress onto this. Timing may not be ideal, but it never was for you guys. If anything… this is right on point.”
“Shit, Joon.” The words tumbled from your lips in an exasperated burst. Throwing your arms back around him, you held him tight. All it took were two simple sentences to almost flip your mentality completely. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
“I was totally thinking the same thing, by the way,” Jungkook said, making you smile. Turning toward him, he had his arms open waiting for you to jump back into them. Falling right into the trap, you pulled him close and kissed him on the cheek.
“I love you guys,” you said, grabbing both of them by the arm, giving them a small shake. “Keep it a secret, yeah? No telling boyfriends.” You narrowed your eyes and pointed at them playfully. 
Namjoon lowered his head with a chuckle and raised his glass in promise. Jungkook rolled his eyes and took a large gulp from his glass. “What boyfriend?” 
“Oh, come on,” you sang, tilting your head to the side. Jungkook settled his gaze on the party, eyes scanning the room with, you now notice, anticipation. “Kookie, don't do that to yourself.”
After another swig of his drink he twisted around to face the bar and smirked. “Promise I’m not a masochist… Even though he’s already got a song.”
“Hon-naaay!” Jimin’s high pitched, full of energy, singsongy voice flooded the air. Jungkook shot you a look over his shoulder as you pouted your lips at the same time.
Shooting your best smile at a now blonde Jimin you opened your arms, ready for him to fall into them dramatically as he would, but he stopped short. His own smile faded on his lips, to something soft while he looked you over, and it was like you could see the gears turning in his head. He held a glass of champagne in a Golden glass in one hand and the other found sanctuary on his hip.
“Hi, pretty,” you said in a voice you would use while talking to Dae. Jimin didn’t crack, he was honed in on you. Dropping your arms, letting them fold over your chest, you tilted your head to the side in question, though you weren’t sure you wanted, or were ready, for him to respond. 
In touch with his femininity a thousand times more than the others, the way his eyes scanned over you flipped your stomach. Jimin, like a woman, moved through his day to day like he was in touch with the moon, being guided through life by the space being without even knowing so. He made it through his days subconsciously following the twenty-eight day cycle a woman's subconsciousness was wired to.
He figured you out with one look.
Taking you in his arms tight, his head laying on top of yours, he sucked in a breath and released it with his words. “Hi, pretty.” Leaning back a bit, your lips parted to say something, but Jimin took a finger to your jaw to shut it. Then, he tapped your closed lips once and shook his head gently. He didn’t need the words.
“Taehyung not attached to you?” Namjoon asked, sipping his glass with composure, his curious eyes flickering over to Jungkook a couple times.
Jimin pulled away from you and shrugged. “He was, he probably found something better.” 
You weren’t positive, but you’re certain Jungkook mumbled, “Impossible,” under his breath.
“Sunny came with me,” you spoke up quickly to muffle anything else that would come out of the boy's mouth whether or not he had intentions of anyone hearing him. “He might be with her.”
Jimin’s eyes narrowed. “Mmm,” he hummed, shaking his head. “Don’t think so, she was hanging around Mingyu last time I passed her.” The name spewed confidently from his mouth, a subtle look of shock something you all shared, even Jungkook.
“Tell her she won’t have any luck,” Jungkook grumbled, having not turned away from the bar once. He hasn’t looked at Jimin since he arrived over here.
Swatting your hand at his shoulder with disappointment, Jimin gave him a somber look, the empath in him you knew was hurting too. Namjoon watched the scene ensue peacefully, waiting patiently for his moment to step in, if needed. They haven’t been a proper group for months, but that didn’t mean those dynamics were erased.
“Sunny is dating somebody, Kookie,” you said. “You know that. She wouldn’t ever hurt him.”
“Jin,” Jungkook said, finally turning around. “We can say his name. Jin. They may hate talking about it, but we can. Besides, he’s been away for so long now, bet she misses him. Not surprised she’d go for the biggest guy in the room.”
“Jungkook,” Namjoon chimed in, his glare one you never wanted to be on the receiving end of. The rest of the youngests second glass, that you’ve been around for, went down easy.
“I’m just saying,” he laughed to himself.
Both you and Jimin watched him in shock. Words like that, implying what he was implying, have never come out of Jungkook, nor has he ever thought them up before. The implication that Sunny would be untrue to Jin, that one’s partner being away for an extended period of time meant that everyone acquired, or wanted to act upon these thoughts.
“What does that say about me?” you asked, looking up at him, remembering the days of when he was a mere few inches taller than you.
“What are you talking about?” he shrugged sloppily. You could feel Jimin’s gaze watching you.
“I’ve spent more time away from Yoongi our entire relationship than Sunny has from Jin in the last year or so,” you said. “And I’m about to do it for another two-ish years.” Jungkook was silent. “In fact, until Jin comes back next summer, I’ll be without all of you. So, pick someone for me, Jungkook.” The boy didn’t move. “If we’re comparing sizes, who’ve you got?” A quick glance at Jimin. “Taemin?” A quick glance at Jungkook. “Jay?”
“From Enhypen?” Namjoon chimed in again. Cringing, you looked at him for a second.
“He’s a baby, nevermind,” you muttered.
“He’s also like, six feet tall,” Namjoon chuckled.
“Oh, I know,” you tapped Jungkook’s white jacket, “Your Seventeen boy can hook me up, it’s Jeonghan right? Always has longer hair? Think he’ll be into me?” Jimin held in a laugh, turning to keep it hidden. Jungkook sighed. “I’m married, I got one kid and another on the way, let’s see how well he plays daddy, huh?” 
“Okay, I get it,” Jungkook breathed.
“Jeonghan’s got that broodiness about him, right Joon?” Glancing over your shoulder, the eldest in the vicinity nodded without entertaining you with a smile. “He’ll fulfill the stereotype, it’s perfect! Dae might not even notice it’s-“
“Okay!” Jungkook turned up the volume, a couple party goers looking his way as they passed by. “I’m sorry! Jesus Christ, Honey.”
Pressing your lips together you smoothed a hand over his shoulder and gave it a squeeze, leaning in toward him. “I get you’re hurting,” you said just for him to hear. “But you keep bleeding onto everybody else, and that’s not fair. I love you, but saying stuff like that will only hurt others. Imagine if Jin heard that. He’s been in love almost as long as you, Kookie.”
The way he looked at you put a knife through your heart. “How do I fix it?”
“A lot has changed in the last year and a half. Really fast, too.” Wrapping your arm around his, you held him close. “We’re all adjusting in our own way, it’s a really weird place to be in. I mean… I have to go home with Jeonghan now.” He cracked a laugh, thankfully.
“You guys would pair up nicely.”
“Kookie, hush,” you laughed, shaking his arm. “You’re both about to go through a bigger change, together. Even if you can’t be… together, at least you can be together.” You squinted, hoping any of that made sense to the twenty-six year old.
He started to nod, easing some of the tension settling within your chest. “I get it.” He looked at Jimin briefly, who had taken a spot beside Namjoon, the two whispering about who knows what, and you wonder if it’s related to what you’re talking about now. “I’ll be with him most of the time too, until we get to Hobi, so…”
Your eyes widened as his did. “Hobi,” you both groaned together, falling into giggles shortly after.
“You’re really gonna need each other if you have to deal with him,” you said. “He’s a drill sergeant in rehearsals, good luck with him in the military!” Jungkook squeezed his eyes shut, throwing his head with a laugh. “I only wish you guys would get to see more of Yoongi,” you said after a breath.
Jungkook met your eyes, then his gaze traveled to the party behind you, a small smile pricking on his lips. “We’ll still get to see him, Honey.”
Toying with a zipper on his jacket you shrugged and took a deep breath. “I know, but I mean… I wish he got to be with you guys the whole time. He was worried about…” Looking up at him you paused, pressed your lips together with a smile, then shook your head. “Nevermind.”
Jungkook didn’t push on the matter, instead he bobbed his head in understanding and then ushered you to turn around in his arms. “Surprise.”
If your heart had the possibility to burst into flames, it would’ve. Swelling within your chest, your heart rate skyrocketing beyond belief, you didn’t even have the means to gasp in utter shock. Frozen where you stood, Jungkook's hands slipping off your shoulders, the three falling into quiet giggles, you couldn’t process any of it.
Dressed in all black, down to the thick knitted beanie on top of his head and the sneakers on his feet, Yoongi, with Taehyung's arm linked in his, had the tiniest smile on his lips as he came toward you.
“I come bearing gifts!” Taehyung cheered, giving Yoongi a small push closer to you.
Words escaped you, your mind unable to string any letters together to say something to him. Instead, you tipped your head backward and burst into tears.
A laugh slipped past his lips. He knew that was coming. Following your lead, he waited for you, and when you opened your arms he fell right in, scooping you off the floor, burying his face in your neck. 
“Hey! Careful, she’s frag-…” Jungkook’s voice tapered off quickly, his focus landing elsewhere, his lips pursed nonchalantly.
His words barely registered with either of you. There was very little anyone could say or do in this moment that would take away from the man you held in your arms.
Back on your feet you wasted little time, wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him close into a kiss, one long and entirely overdue.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” you whispered, pressing your forehead to his.
Yoongi’s gaze ate away at your face, his eyes studying you completely. “I wanted a drink,” he shrugged, and you smacked his chest with your hands, a smile corrupting you. He smirked. “Came to see my girl,” he cooed, pressing a kiss to your lips. “Don’t tell Jungkook.”
“He knows,” the youngest said from behind you. Yoongi laughed, and your heart was squeezed between your lungs, the beautiful sound warming your skin.
You couldn’t tear your eyes away from him, you couldn’t believe that he was standing here in front of you, holding you, kissing you, smiling at you. It’d been a month and twelve days since you last saw him, since he held your daughter, and that thought fueled the tears that fell.
A month and twelve days has happened before, unfortunately a couple more days longer than this, but it made that reunion all the more sweeter. Of course that was before Dae, before marriage, so it didn’t cut as deep, but it was still hard. Holding onto him now, knowing your daughter was snug at home in the house you built together, unsure if whether or not he was able to come see her, you felt the need to squeeze him tighter, like your grip around him would keep him stuck here forever, and they’d never be able to take him again. 
Wiping the tears off of your cheeks with his thumbs, he kissed the tip of your nose and tried to twist you in his arms so you could both face your friends, but you wouldn’t budge. Laying your head on his chest as he tried to move, you heard him huff a laugh toward you trying to occupy the same space as him.
Your subconscious was screaming at you. The inner workings of your natural biology, your primal instincts if you will, were firing off like crazy, keeping you latched onto him. You needed him. And not in the way one would assume.
You needed his attention. You needed his care. You needed his protection, his energy, his love, his support.
Most reunions looked something like this, you and Yoongi unable to take your hands off one another, but this one was different. You were clingy, nearly shutting off your brain entirely because he was in the room and you didn’t need to do any of the thinking. The party became a distant noise to you, something you weren’t even worried about anymore, same for your friends behind you.
You felt Yoongi looking down at you, and when you tipped your chin up to meet his knowing gaze, the way you bat your eyelashes had him whisking you away to someplace quiet, a different room vacant of all people. He found a couch in the dimly lit room, a sitting area formed in front of a smaller, empty bar. Sitting you beside him, he smiled as you tried to crawl into his lap.
“Hi,” he whispered in the quiet, brushing his fingers over your cheek. Your arms found their way around his neck again.
Your gaze danced about his face, taking in every inch, every little imperfection, memorizing more so than you already have. “Hi,” you whispered back. The two of you watched one another for a minute, the music from the main party room thumping against the walls, laughter and happy chatter ringing just below it. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too,” he said without missing a beat. “Dae’s not here, right?”
Gulping, you nodded. “She’s at home,” you mumbled. “Can you come see her?”
Yoongi flattened his lips. “I dunno.”
Your grip around him tightened. “S’okay,” you tried to smile. “She asks for you everyday.” Tears welled in his eyes, ones he blinked away. “When we’re not listening to 3D she asks for your songs.”
“3D,” Yoongi groaned, rolling his head back against your arms. “Still?”
“Still,” you deadpanned, and once he caught a look at you, you both broke into a laugh. “I gave him a talk, don’t worry.”
Yoongi sighed, shaking his head. “Nothing gets through his head now, Park scrambled it all up.”
“Yeah,” you agreed. “They’ll be okay, though. I hope.”
Yoongi’s nod was solemn before he drug a finger beneath your jaw. “How ‘bout you? You okay?” The bad electricity sparkled in your veins, enough of a twinge to make you shift on his lap.
“I’m okay,” you said without an ounce of confidence. His smile was slick, his fingers dragging down the side of your neck now.
“Why you gonna lie?”
“I’m not,” your half shrug didn’t convince him.
Narrowing his eyes, his gaze somehow softened at the same time. “Honey,” he crooned, his voice like velvet. “Talk to me.”
“I’m…” You were hesitant, cutting yourself short right when the words were about to tumble out of you full force. He waited patiently. Swallowing the lump that lodged in your throat, hoping to ease the nausea that started to fester within you, you nodded, small, and whispered, “I’m pregnant.”
His expression didn’t change, didn’t falter, didn’t exhibit any signs of any other emotion other than patience. He only managed to whisper, “Yes you are.”
Your brows plummeted. “Who opened their mouth?”
Yoongi massaged the back of your neck with his fingers, sighing. “No one, Honey, it’s just…” he glanced between you, gesturing to how close you were to him. “You only get like this when you’re carrying one of my kids.”
Blinking, you purse your lips. “Do not.”
He laughed, bobbing his head. “Do to, it’s happened twice before.”
The words turned your skin to ice, Yoongi taking note of the utter fear that washed over you. Sliding his hand over the back of your head, he laid you on his shoulder, pressing his cheek to your forehead, taking a long deep breath. For a few minutes you both relished in the quiet, admiring the party from afar, the touch of one another enough to clearly communicate what you were both feeling.
Nobody knew what had happened in detail aside from Sunny and the boys. Branson knew bits and pieces, he was around for that week, helping to take care of Dae and the house if nobody else was able to. Not one of them talked about it. Even if you were to bring it up somehow, they didn’t linger on the topic long. It was for you and Yoongi to discuss, to share, to have. He was your son, you were the only two to ever know him.
“You don’t wanna know what I’ve thought about already,” you said. Yoongi gave your head a gentle scratch.
“Probably the same things I’m thinking right now,” he whispered. Looking up at him, his face still radiated patience, a calmness that radiated to you, though you could see the worries spinning inside his head. Curious about it all, you know you might not need to hear it. The one thought that gutted you both… He wouldn’t be here this time. “Mother fucker,” he mumbled, shifting his focus to you.
“Let me hear it,” you said.
“No, it’s just…” He collected his thoughts for a second, a laugh escaping him. “How is it this possible that we’ve got such… exquisite timing?!” He started to make you laugh. “You’d think by thirty we’d have it figured out, right? What’s wrong with us, babe!” Giggles galore. “At twenty-seven, the proposal planned, did it happen? Nope! Global pandemic and major surgery. Twenty-eight, my third album almost done, your projects lined up waiting for you, did they happen? Nope! We had a baby instead. Twenty-nine… You somehow say yes to marrying me. I think, finally, we’ll plan the wedding of your dreams. Did it happen?”
“Yes,” you chimed in, watching him in awe. He shot you a small smile with a wink.
“Thanks for that,” he breathed. “But, then the hiatus came, and the lawyers for the restraining order, and Dae turned one, and you were pregnant again, and I knew the announcement was coming after the Busan show, and…”
“And then we got married,” you said, sitting up to hold his face between your hands, delicately dancing your thumbs over his cheeks. “Saturday, November fifth. The most perfect day that happened a year ago, tomorrow.” He smiled, his cheeks squishing in your grip. “The trees were yellow, and orange, and bright and beautiful. The breeze held off until we finally kissed, making sure our guests were warmed by the sun before Autumn made an appearance.”
“Dae pulled the bow out of her hair during our vows,” he said, and you both laughed. 
“She is her mothers daughter,” you raised your eyebrows with pride. “I warned Sunny, I really did.” His smile settled, eyes gleaming with a sappiness that tugged at your tears. “It was the most wonderful day, D. Everyone was there, even your little boy.” A sudden breath shot through you. “Then, yanno, Jin left, and we had a month or so to pull ourselves together before I was thrown to the wolves.”
“It wasn’t enough time,” he muttered, and you nodded.
“I agree,” you whispered. “But, we made it. And after Hobi left we went on tour, and fuck, D, talk about the most amazing three months.”
“That really was the best,” he grinned. “Having you both there with me, jeez.” A happy roll of his eyes made you smile back at him. 
“Dae had more fun than either of us,” you scoffed.
“She sure did,” Yoongi said. “Remember the show Hope and Jin came to?”
“Of course I do,” you said. “That was the last one.”
“Yeah,” he breathed, a longing look spreading to his eyes. Questioning him with a small sound, he smirked. “It’s just… that show, that night… I thought, this is it. Thirty years of my life and I’ve got everything I’ve always dreamed of, everything I’ve always wanted, everything I could possibly need. You, Dae, the boys, Army… You.”
The tears were falling now, you could feel them.
“After everything we’ve been through, all that life has thrown at us- no, catapulted at us,” you both shared a laugh, “Onstage, I couldn’t help but realize, and recognize… Holy shit, we made it.” He wiped your tears, kissing your cheek. “And, I don’t give a fuck, Honey, we’ll make it again. And again. And again, goddammit. Unbelievably bad, shitty, fucked up timing is who we are. Since the start. July sixteenth, twenty fifteen.”
“A New York curb,” you whispered.
Yoongi beamed. “A dangerous New York curb,” he snickered. “Making people fall in love and shit?” A laugh came out of you within a breath, only Yoongi able to make you laugh and cry at the same time.
“Namjoon said something earlier,” you sniffled, taking his hands within your own. “Like what you just said, how the timing isn’t ideal, but that’s who we are. That this is right on point.” 
Yoongi let your words sink in, let his leader's words sink in, comforting him the same way they did you. “He’s right. He’s always right.”
“Unfortunately,” you joked and he cackled. “The only thing that’s keeping me from going totally insane is knowing that by June Jin will be here. Regardless of what schedules he’ll be involved with, if any, he’ll be here. Accessible.”
“That makes me feel better, too,” he sighed, then licked his lips. “How… How far are you? Do you know? When did you find out?” The questions tumbled out of him at lightning speed, each answer you had for him getting lost between each one.
After a giggle, you said, “October eleventh, I found out. Dae was dancing around our room, she left me to do it all alone, the stinker. 3D is more important to her, I guess.” Yoongi scoffed. “I wasn’t feeling so good, thought it was just leftover nerves after you leaving, thought I was late for the same reasons, but when I checked I was really late, so I took the test just to be safe. There were no hopes up or anything, no nerves because I really didn’t think it’d be positive…”
Yoongi listened with intent. “Didn’t think it would be, or didn’t want it to be?” He asked you genuinely, no discomfort wrapped around the question at all.
“I kept thinking… if this is positive, then what the actual hell am I going to do?” He nodded, his hands holding you carefully. “We didn’t say what we’d do, because we didn’t think this would happen. D, we need to start putting together plans ‘cause at this point I’m starting to think you could sneeze on me and I’d get pregnant, and if timing isn’t our thing then we need to be prepared for it all.”
Swiping his thumb over your lips he smirked. “Where’s the fun in that?” Giving you the smallest kiss, he said, “We could plan out every last little detail, babe, and I can ensure you, somehow, someway, the universe would laugh in our faces. Loud.”
He was right. Even on the day of your wedding, the most planned out day of your life, things went askew. The birth of your daughter didn’t go to plan, that entire fiasco turned into a legitimate emergency. You could have every detail splayed out, even the fine writing between the lines, and life would find a way to toss the cue cards in the air, laughing as it did. 
“This is a blessing,” Yoongi said, his voice shifting to something soft. “And, entirely on time for us, as fucked as that may sound.”
“It does make sense, doesn’t it,” you agreed. Sitting here with him, reviewing your lives, this brand new little one seemed to fit right into the insanity. The tiniest spark of hope ignited inside of you, one that you were nervous to share with your husband, but you were certain that he could feel it too. 
You both wanted a second child, you wanted Dae to have a sibling, a sister or a brother. The two of you realized during your first pregnancy and throughout Dae’s first year of life that you wanted multiple, more than two. However, after the last year you were content with just one more. If there were anymore to follow, so be it, but this second one was a must.
Deep within both of you you knew that this child would be your third, and that would be something you held close to your heart for the rest of your lives, letting Dae and your future children know that they once had a brother who loved them too much that he had to find solace within the clouds, so he could watch over and protect his family.
Yoongi nodded, slowly, knowing exactly what was going through your mind. As a tear slipped down his cheek he threw his arms around you and rocked side to side, pressing a hundred kisses to your shoulder. His lips traveled up your neck, making you giggle, until they found your lips, kissing you slowly, drinking this moment up, the both of you wishing you could drown in it. 
“An August baby,” Yoongi whispered, pulling from you with a breath. You smiled.
“An August baby,” you repeated. “The end of summer’s gonna get real busy for us.” Yoongi’s smile grew, it grew so big he had to laugh.
“Oh my god,” he exhaled, his words barely audible. He kissed you, and then he kissed you again. “I love you so much.”
Letting your hand fall down to his left shoulder, you gave him the gentlest squeeze, and smiled. “I love you too, D.”
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hamsterclaw · 7 months
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Fic Library: Yoongi (Pt 1)
My ult bias, it makes sense that there were too many to fit into one list. All of these authors capture the essence of my favourite tsundere king, check these stories out and show them some love.
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Pause by @whatifyoulivelikethat. Music producer MYG x reader, domestic abuse. The first time I ever slid into an author's DMs was after I read this, to let them know how much I loved this story. It's unexpected, and profoundly beautiful, and re-reading it now takes me back to where I was when I first read it.
Like Butter by @bonvoyagenoona. Photographers MYG x reader, director KNJ x reader. Set in the setting of a magazine production team, and featuring a very sexy scene with our fave maknae and a scheming Park Jimin.
Countermelody by @bonvoyagenoona. Producer MYG x shopgirl/musician reader. A gorgeously rendered enemies to lovers story that's as much about life, love, new starts, self belief as it is about Min Yoongi and his beanie. IYKYK.
Moonlit throne by @hobidreams.Joseon king Yoongi x reader, historical AU. The seminal Joseon dynasty story told in a non-linear timeline with a perfectly characterised Yoongi and incredible attention to detail.
Three Tangerines by @kithtaehyung. Fuckboy Yoongi x f! reader, brother's best friend AU. 3tan makes it onto almost every fic rec list I've seen, and deservedly so - the dialogue slaps, the writing's sharp and this Yoongi's irresistible.
Bet on it by @minisugakoobies. Quizzers Yoongi x reader, featuring a super competitive reader and Yoongi with a blonde undercut. Hot, fun and hilarious.
Perpetual Datejust by @jiminrings. Model Yoongi x manager reader. A very sweet, romantic read, with a devoted reader and a healthy dose of angst.
Sodium Vapor by @miscelunaaa. Yoongi x f! reader. An atmospheric, wistful read about a chance meeting that also has Em's signature raw honesty.
Man of the year by @raplinesmoon. Single dad Yoongi x gn reader. A sweet, heartwarming read, and Yoongi's relationship with his daughter is adorable.
Look down on me like that by @here2bbtstrash. Co-workers Yoongi x reader, enemies to lovers. There's nothing better than Yoongi being an asshole, and he's written so perfectly here, as are reader and cute and endearing babystarcandy JK.
Teardrop by @hesperantha. Yoongi x reader, road trip AU. I read sometimes just for the pleasure of how a writer puts words to paper, and this is one of those stories - there are so many truths woven into the words, subtle and beautiful.
Moving day (Explicit) by @here2bbtstrash. Yoongi x reader, domestic AU. Sweet, sexy smut involving Yoongi tying up his hair. I repeat, Yoongi tying up his hair. The visual still gives me chills.
Proof by @illneverrecover. Yoongi x reader, strangers to lovers. A confident reader approaches an equally confident, sexy Yoongi with the added bonus of Joon and Jin as supportive besties.
Quiet Kitten by @thatlongspringnight. Professor Yoongi x college student reader - a smutty read with a fiercely sexy, stern Professor Min.
Straight Shooter MYG x reader, cyberpunk AU by @snackhobi. A perfectly characterised Yoongi, a dystopian futuristic setting and a subtle and gorgeous love story that I've read and re-read more times than I can say. The story that pulled me into BTS fanfic that I still have so much love for now.
Punch Drunk MYG x reader, boxer AU by @joonbird. From memory there's an open ending but that hasn't stopped me from re-reading. A troubled Yoongi's depicted so beautifully here.
Greedy MYG x reader, mafia AU by @xjoonchildx. Ana knows how much I love this - this Yoongi breaks my heart every time and I love how the relationship develops between him and reader.
Close Call by @xjoonchildx - a follow up to Greedy that's just as stunning as the OG story. I can't tell you how much I love this. Yoongi's a provider, and he takes care of his own, and there's nothing sexier.
All the wrong places by @mrworldwideshoulders. Yoongi x reader, strangers to lovers, in progress. An intriguingly irritable Yoongi covers the tab for reader at a bar.
Interlude: Sundown by @eoieopda. Part of the Darksided series, featuring Yoongi x reader in an established relationship. Hot, smutty, intimate goodness.
Angel by @sailoryooons. Mafia Yoongi x sex worker reader. I started reading this and couldn't stop - the writing's sharp and riveting and the pacing is perfect. A sexy, smutty, captivating read with a sexy, dangerous Yoongi.
Part 2
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casuallyimagining · 1 month
Text
Selfish. || myg.
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Less of Them - Two: Selfish.
NSFW. minors dni
Pairing: Min Yoongi x reader Genre: arranged marriage au, established relationship, star-crossed lovers, angst, smut, fluff Word Count: 5,461
Summary: As the daughter of one of the oldest families in the kingdom, when the king decides that it's you he wishes to marry, you're forced to make a decision and fulfill your duty, leaving behind everything you've ever known--and the only man you've ever loved.
Warnings: implied domestic abuse, controlling behavior, depression, arguing, a slap, blood, discovery of a dead body, murder
Notes: thank you to @oddinary4bts for beta-ing this
"I do know there are all kinds of barriers to love. I do believe the world needs less of them." - Lang Leav
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There’s a bustle in the castle that hasn’t been here for a year. It’s like the very stone–polished, whitewashed, ancient–is vibrating with excitement. After all, a royal wedding is an exciting time, and everyone must play their part. The cherry trees, hundreds of them across the property of the castle and in the castle town, are close to blossom. The merchants are busy building and sewing and crafting and baking. The stewards and keepers have cleaned the castle walls inside and out more times than can be counted.
You cannot find it in yourself to match their enthusiasm.
You stand on a pedestal facing a floor-length mirror, a seamstress on either side of you. They haven’t stopped touching you since they’d walked into the room. Slipping garments onto your body. Primping and adjusting the fabric so it lays just right. Measuring, pinning, tucking, tacking. The silk is heavy, like lead on your limbs, and they just keep layering it on. All of it is an elegant cream color–not white, despite tradition. Daniel had instructed the royal seamstresses. It was because of him, after all. White is too pure, too untouched.
Maybe, under different circumstances, worn by someone else, you would find the gown pretty. The silken fabric is soft and luxurious, a delicate floral pattern embroidered into the sleeves. The skirt is plain, but it flows well, and it’s a slightly richer color than the rest. There’s a small loop at the waist where a luck ornament will be attached. You haven’t seen it yet–the queen mother hasn’t yet presented it to you–but the handmaids have told you that it’s meant to bring many sons.
But honestly, you’ve avoided looking–really looking–at any of it, your focus solely on the leather toe of your shoe sticking out from under the fabric of your dress. You were never too mesmerized by your reflection, but now… It’s hard to reconcile what you see with what used to be there. Your hair is longer. You’ve lost weight. A bruise peeks out from under the collar of your dress. There’s a hollowness in your eyes, and worse, there’s a hollowness somewhere deeper. A meekness that you don’t recognize, but that’s been gnawing at the edges of you for nearly a year now. 
You don’t recognize yourself. You don’t want to recognize yourself.
“Have you seen him yet?” You hear one of the handmaidens ask as the seamstresses pin the fabric at your sleeve.
The other handmaiden groans softly. “I’ve been stuck inside all day. Kagha asked me to shine the silver.” Kagha is the stewardess of the castle, and she’s been running around like a crazy person of late trying to prepare for the wedding.
The first handmaiden leans closer to the other. You’ve seen her around, but you have no idea what her name is. “He’s gorgeous,” she whispers, so quiet you almost can’t hear.
“Shame he’s from the forest,” the second handmaiden laments, standing. Her arms are full of linen.
You hum. It’s been a long year. A lonely year. You’ve learned a lot, and you know you’ve done a lot of growing to meet the needs of the position you find yourself in. But that doesn’t mean that the path hadn’t been lonely. And you’d finally managed to convince Daniel to allow you to send a letter to your father, asking him to send you someone to serve in the castle.
Based on the handmaidens’ reactions, he’s sent Seokjin. 
It makes sense. Out of anyone your father could have sent, Seokjin is the most likely to fit in at the castle and in Castle Town. He’s charming and smart, and knows how to hold himself at court. And, more than anyone, Seokjin knows–or assumes–how careful one must be in this life, too. 
There’s an excitement bubbling in you that you haven’t felt in a while. Your step-brother. Here. Finally, a friend. You leave the seamstresses when they’re finished, an almost giddy bounce to your step. It leads you all the way to the King’s Council Chamber–if Seokjin is here, that’s where he’ll be. Daniel may not have greeted you on your arrival to the Ironhold, but he would certainly not risk snubbing the eldest son of one of the old families.
You stand outside of the council chamber, suddenly unsure. The excitement has faded, replaced with the roiling unease that comes with being anywhere near this room. You should wait. As excited as you may be to see Seokjin, you don’t want to risk Daniel’s ire at your interruption. So you stand there, outside the door, far enough away so that you aren’t in anyone’s way. 
After a moment, you can feel your heartbeat start to pound in your ears. Maybe waiting is a mistake. Maybe, if you’re lucky, you can make it back to your chambers. Maybe you can wait there. You nod to yourself. That’s a better idea. You’ll wait for them to come to you.
You’ve just turned to go when the door opens, the hinges creaking lowly with the motion. You can hear Daniel’s voice, but it’s Eden, Daniel’s younger brother, who walks out first. His eyes widen when he sees you standing there, half fleeing, and you can hear him make a little noise of surprise. It doesn’t last long, though, because as soon as Daniel spots you, Eden’s face schools into something neutral.
Daniel stops mid-word to question you. “What are you doing here?”
“I-” Your words stick in your throat. You shouldn’t be here, but you’re frozen in place. And then, just when you think things can’t get worse, a dark head of hair and curious, feline eyes poke out from around Daniel’s form.
You freeze, hoping the ground will open up and swallow you whole. You feel yourself wilt, and suddenly, you’re hyper-aware of how you’re standing, how awkward your arms feel at your side, how rigid your spine feels.  It’s not Seokjin. You could never be that lucky.
Daniel stalks toward you and roughly grabs your upper arm. His fingers dig in, pressing into your flesh. You wince ever so slightly–it hurts, the bruise already there is an angry deep purple–but quickly, you school your face into something more pleasant.
“We’ve talked about this,” Daniel says. His voice is even, but you can hear the undertones.
You should not be here.
You’re embarrassing me. Again.
We will discuss this again later.
“I’m sorry.” Your voice comes out softer than you’d like, and you wonder if he can hear the slight tremble, or if it’s just you. “I… I thought it was Seokjin and I…” You trail off, eyes falling to the stone floor.
The king jerks you closer, grip like a vise on your upper arm. “You what?”
“I got excited.”
He hums. “I see.”
Off to your left, Eden clears his throat. “Brother. You have a meeting with Mother and the High Priest in the garden soon. We shouldn’t keep them waiting.”
Daniel nods and squeezes your arm. “We’ll discuss this later.”
The brothers leave, and suddenly, the hall is quiet. The few guards that had been milling around follow Daniel and Eden out. You clear your throat, unable to meet the dark eyes that watch you curiously. He’s never been to the Crownlands, and your brain latches onto an idea. 
This doesn’t have to be awkward.
“Have you seen the grounds?” you question finally, shifting your weight.
Yoongi shakes his head. “Not yet.”
“Would you like to?”
You can feel him looking at you, can feel the questions hanging in the air. Thankfully–and surprisingly–he says nothing, simply motions for you to lead the way.
“The castle was built nearly 800 years ago by the Choi family. Because of tensions at the time between the royal family and the rest of the old families, the Ironhold was built to be nearly impregnable, with oil chutes built into every staircase and balistraria in every exterior wall.” You gesture to one of the arrow slits in the wall, where the sunlight from the mid-spring sun peeks through the thick stone. You know that he knows all this–he sat through almost as many of your father’s history lessons as you did–but it helps to keep talking.
And to his credit, Yoongi listens patiently. He follows dutifully at your side, pausing to look at things you point out and nodding along where appropriate. You can’t show him everything–that would almost be impossible as the castle grounds are so large. But you walk him through parts of the gardens (“There are over 1,000 cherry trees on the castle grounds.”), and show him the fish ponds (“The fish have been imported from the Eastern Coastlands. Some of the koi are descendants of the original fish brought in when the ponds were built 300 years ago!”). You walk past the Queen Mother’s private residence in the southern part of the castle grounds and show him the knight’s barracks and the training grounds. 
All of the buildings on the castle grounds look the same. It had taken you a few months to actually learn where everything was and what each building housed. Tall, sloping, whitewashed walls, deep blue tile roofs, sharp corners and rectangular windows. A far cry from the curved staircases and round windows and dark woods of Castle Blackwood. 
Re-entering the castle proper, you show him the Grand Hall, where important dinners are held, and the king’s dining room. And finally, finally, you end the tour of the castle grounds on the second floor of the western tower where your chambers–and the chambers of personal guards and hand servants–are. You’ve known for a while that there was a room designated for your own personal guard, so you end up in front of that door.
“This is yours,” you tell him, gesturing to the door. It’s not as thick or as dark as the ones back at Castle Blackwood, but you grew accustomed to those small differences long ago.
He stands there, his hand on the brass doorknob, gaze soft as he takes you in. You can see his eyes dart briefly to where the bruise peeks out from under your collar and feel yourself shrink away. You don’t want to know what he sees when he looks at you. 
“Come in.” His voice is gentle, almost as if he’s speaking to a wounded animal. “Let’s catch up.”
You shouldn’t. You know you shouldn’t. It’ll make it harder to move forward–to move on. But then he says, “Please,” and you’ve never been able to resist the softness of his eyes. So you let him lead you into his chambers and shut the door.
“It’s been years since I’ve seen you in a dress,” he says quietly. He stands in front of you, a little awkward. He keeps rubbing his hands together, patting down his trousers. It’s little comfort to know that he’s just as nervous as you are.
“Why are you here, Yoongi?” You don’t mean to snap, but it just kind of happens. You aren’t sure what this means–what it means for him, let alone what it means for you. There’s a pit in your stomach that feels almost like you swallowed a rock, and you do your best to steady yourself.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean why are you here? Why did it have to be you? Why couldn’t it have been Seokjin, or Namjoon, or any- anyone else?” 
He reaches into his doublet and pulls out a folded piece of parchment. It’s a little crumpled, the edges a little worn, like it’s been read many times. You catch a glimpse of a forest green wax seal still clinging to the top edge, and immediately you know what it is. 
“Maybe we’re both a little selfish.” The way he says it, you can feel your heart sink. 
Of course you know what the letter says. It haunts you, but at the time, you thought you were doing the right thing. You still do. 
I hope that, in time, you can move on. That eventually, you will find yourself in love. That you will find happiness again. It’s selfish, but I will only be able to live through this with the hope that you are happy and living a life that is worthy of the care you’ve shown me. 
Find someone who loves you as much as I do. For my sake, if nothing else. 
You want him to be able to move on and live his life. You want him to be happy. He deserves to be happy. And you would sacrifice your own happiness a hundred times over if it meant he could have the life he deserves. 
Yoongi reaches out, and your heart races. You tense, an automatic reaction, and his hand pauses mere centimeters from your cheek. A look of confusion crosses his dark eyes that quickly morphs to understanding and then sadness. His hand falls back to his side.
“How did you get that bruise?” His voice is casual, but you know him, can practically see the cogs turning in his mind.
You tug the collar of your gown so that it covers better. “I tripped.”
“And bruised your shoulder?”
“I’m still getting used to the gowns.”
He hums. You know he knows you’re lying. But you aren’t sure how much you want to allow him back in yet. You aren’t sure how much you want to drag him down with you. 
He sighs, but he doesn’t push it. Instead, he looks at the letter that’s still in his hands. “I tried,” he says softly. “For the first few months, I thought that if I could just convince myself that I was mad at you, it would be easier. I tried so hard to hate you, to blame you for leaving, make it your fault.” He looks up at you, then, and you can see a shine to his eyes. He reaches out again, but this time, the tips of his fingers brush against your hand. “But I couldn’t. It’s not fair, but it’s even less fair for you. And I want to be here. I know it won’t be easy, but I want to be here with you. You shouldn’t have to do this alone.”
Your eyes sting, and there’s a lump in your throat that you can’t quite swallow down. 
Hours later, you’re alone in your chambers. Dusk has fallen, the handmaidens have already been through to light the few candles on the tray near your bed. You sit on the chaise under the open window, a gentle spring breeze lightly caressing your skin. Silently, you stare down at the wooden box in your hands.
It’s dusty. You haven’t touched it since placing it on the shelf when you’d first arrived in the Ironhold. You can see the fingerprints from how you’ve held it over the past half-hour. Gently, you wipe the dust from the gilded leaves of the thistle and press them in. A soft ‘click’ echoes through the inside of the box. 
You take the contents out carefully. Sketches from one of the artists in the Forest Town–one of you, your father, your step-mother, and Namjoon and Seokjin; the other of you and Yoongi. You look much younger here, even though the drawings were only done a few years ago. It feels like an eternity. The real reason you’d pulled the box off the shelf, though, is still in your hand, wrapped delicately in a piece of cloth you’d ripped from a pair of your trousers.
Once it’s unwrapped, you hold it between your thumb and your forefinger and inspect it in the low light. 
Part of you feels guilty that this is the first time you’ve looked at it in almost a year, that you can’t wear it, even on a chain around your neck, or at the very least that you can’t display it in some way. You shouldn’t have accepted it. But there’s no way you could have known it would have spent a year hidden away in a secret compartment in a wooden box, wrapped in the fabric of the trousers you can no longer wear.
You suppose there are things about the world your father couldn’t have thought to teach you.
He couldn’t have prepared you for everything you’ve learned here. How to break yourself down, brick by brick, and rebuild from the ground up. How to change how you talk, how you think. To change your personality to be more likable, less loud, less prominent. To change how you walk, how you stand, how you take up space. A good queen knows when to enhance her king’s spotlight, but also how to fade into the background. She’s firm but quiet. She defers to her husband’s opinions, she doesn’t shape them. And certainly, she knows naught of how the king’s court functions.
He could never have taught you that there’s a special kind of loneliness reserved only for future queens, when you arrive in a new city and no one knows you and no one likes you and no one wants to know or like you. You’ll just be another fixture in the Crownlands, a figurehead with no power, a vessel with no thoughts. There for one thing–maybe two, if you’re lucky–and ignored the rest of the time.
You miss home, miss having things to fill your time with. You miss the activity of Blackwood Castle–there was always something going on, even if it was something minor. Now, you feel as though you spend most of your time daintily draping yourself across chaises and windowsills, watching the world pass you by. You’d tried to go to the library once and were barred entry (“The queen has no need for such knowledge!”). You’d been banned from the council chambers (“How dare you embarrass your king in front of the Eastern traders!”). You couldn’t watch the knights spar, couldn’t sit by as the dog trainers did their work, couldn’t stroll the streets of the Castle Town.
The sound of guard boots in the hall draw your attention, and you jump, hurriedly re-wrapping the ring in cloth and slotting it and the two drawings back into the secret compartment in the box. You press the thistle flower and manage to wipe the rest of the dust off the front just as the door to your chamber opens.
Daniel stands there, the Realm’s unshakeable king, smelling of wine and grinning like the dog that caught the hare. He doesn’t say anything, merely shuts the door behind him and yanks the bolt in place to lock it. You embrace him as he approaches, allowing him to push you back onto the bed.
After he leaves, you stare at the ceiling and hope that someday soon, you’ll start to feel less hollow again. 
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It takes mere days for Yoongi to fully integrate into life in the Ironhold. Or, perhaps, integrate is the wrong word. It takes mere days for him to disappear. Once it’s clear he’s there to stay, he’s no longer a novelty, overshadowed by the wedding looming over the next couple days. He goes with you to dress fittings, sits behind you out of the way when you meet with the clergy. He even accompanies you to meet with the Queen Mother. You’re shocked that she allows him to stand in on your conversation, but if you’re honest with yourself, you’re a little glad she does.
“My knights followed me everywhere over the years,” she says casually, pouring herself a cup of tea. “I expect you’d want yours to do the same, forest bumpkin though he is.”
The Queen Mother sits at a small table near the window. For a moment, she doesn’t say anything, simply stares out at the garden as if she’s inspecting the very plants for quality of growth. It’s uncanny how much her sons have inherited from her. Daniel has the same intense, calculating gaze, and both he and Eden have her high cheekbones and downturned lips. They’ve all got the same dark, glossy hair and downturned eyes.
You stand there, waiting for her to address you again. It’s awkward, but you dare not move. You can feel Yoongi’s presence behind you–he’s been quiet all morning, but you can tell that he has thoughts about life in the castle. You ignore him. Instead, you focus your attention on the table in front of you and the Queen Mother’s cup of tea.
Finally, the Queen Mother brings her attention back in your direction, leveling a gaze at you that reminds you just how scrutinized you’ve been since you arrived at the Ironhold nearly a year ago. She studies you for a moment before raising her teacup to her lips. “I suppose you’re expecting me to give you the norigae for tomorrow’s ceremony.”
That had been why you thought she’d called this meeting. The seamstresses who’d been working on your gown said the Queen Mother would give you a lucky decoration. They’d said it was a big honor, that it was tradition. Now, you’re unsure. Still, though, you nod quietly.
The Queen Mother hums. Her gaze burns into you, and when you fidget where you stand, she frowns. “Danny has said that your dress is to be cream.”
“It’s pretty.”
“It’s not white.” Her tone is as sharp as her glare. It’s an accusation.
You swallow. “I do as my king asks.”
“The traditional norigae has been passed down for generations in the Choi family,” the Queen Mother says. She does not look at you, merely glares down at her tea cup. “It’s supposed to bring great luck to the marriage and many sons. It’s meant to be given to a king’s bride to both welcome her into the Choi family and celebrate the pure gift she brings with her.”
It scares you a little, how she says it. It almost sounds like a threat, though you aren’t quite sure what she’s threatening you with. What you do know, though, is that you probably should be scared of whatever it is.
“Do you think you deserve that?” she questions.
“I…” 
You aren’t sure what to say. You aren’t sure there’s anything you can say. You’ve willingly allowed Daniel into your bed when he’s come calling. He’s the king and the man you are to marry. This is your life now.
Her question lingers as you wrack your brain for something–anything–to say. Thankfully, she puts you out of your misery.
“I suppose I must. Tradition is tradition, after all.” She sighs. “I will give it to the dressmakers tomorrow before the ceremony.”
“Thank you, your majesty.”
“You may go.” There is no room for argument. 
The trek back through the gardens and to your chambers is silent. Yoongi is quiet as he follows you, the only signs that he’s there are his shadow following yours and his footsteps echoing off the stone floors of the castle. He shuts the door behind you as you enter your room, sliding the steel bolt into place to lock it.
“That’s not necessary,” you tell him, collapsing onto the chaise at the foot of your bed. You’re exhausted, and there’s something heavy growing in your chest. “You can return to your own chambers. I’ll call for you if I need anything.”
He doesn’t move, and when you look up at him, you can see the conflict in his eyes. After a moment, he seems to decide on something, because he takes a cautious step forward.
“You know you don’t have to put up with any of this.”
“What?” You have no idea what he’s talking about. 
“We could run away.” He’s closer now, kneeling in front of you. Carefully, he takes your hand, holding it as though it were glass.
You shake your head. “You know that’s not possible.”
Yoongi squeezes your hand, dark eyes pleading. “We could go somewhere far away. Somewhere they couldn’t find you.”
“It’s not me I’m worried about.”
“You’re exactly who I’m worried about.” His tone is firm. “This place is poison, it’s… it’s-”
“It’s fine, Yoongi.” His touch is electric on your skin, and you jerk your hand away, burned by his proximity. “This is my duty. This is my life.”
“It’s not fine!” He stands, clearly frustrated. “You don’t deserve how these assholes treat you. No one does. The Westerlands can deal with whatever comes from-”
“Loyalty does not yield.”
“Fuck that! Have some sense!”
“Get out.” You say it as loud as you dare, not wanting to draw the guards but desperate, so, so desperate, for him to leave. When he doesn’t move, you pick up the closest thing to you—a soft-bound journal—and throw it at him. The book hits him in the chest with a dull thud and plops to the ground. 
A pillow follows. Then another. A blanket. Your hair brush. Anything you can get your hands on, you hurl in his direction. If he would just leave and let you rest. You’re exhausted. Dear God, why won’t he leave? Eventually, you’re out of ammunition, everything else around you being too heavy or too large to throw with any sort of accuracy. Yoongi, to his credit, has stayed stock-still throughout the ordeal, unflinching despite the onslaught.
You stalk over to him, blood pressure rising. There’s a headache stirring behind your eyes. The pit grows inside of you. “Go. Now.”
“No.” He says it so calmly.
“Stubborn fool. I will send you home.”
“Listen to yourself,” he pleads. “This isn’t you, you don’t-”
Your palm stings. 
Why does your palm sting? 
You look down, confused, and see your skin a shade of angry red. Movement in front of you draws your attention. For the first time since you’d thrown the journal, Yoongi moves. His hand comes up to cup his cheek; your gaze follows his arm as it moves. There, hidden by his hand, his skin begins to blossom pink.
It’s like you’re sucked out of your body. You can see yourself standing there, cradling your stinging hand, staring in bewilderment at the red that blooms across his skin. A silent moment passes. But then you feel something, deep within you. At first, it’s nothing more than a tremor, a slight tremble within you, but then it builds. Your heart races. Whatever was left of you—whatever you’d been able to claw and cobble together over the last year—implodes. You can feel it shatter within you, a thousand times more powerful than the initial destruction. And with it, you crumble.
Yoongi approaches you cautiously, like he’s coming up on a wounded animal. “What can I do?” he asks, his voice soft, kind. “Tell me how I can help.”
“Leave,” you beg.
You regret it. You regret contacting your father. You regret asking him to send someone. Why you thought having any of them here would be helpful–or why you’d never considered it would be him–you’ll never know. You can survive here–you were surviving here. But at what cost?
It hits you hard, blindsiding you like a sudden storm. The truth is, you’re scared. What if the old you–the you he fell in love with… What if she’s gone? What if she can’t come back? What if she died the day you climbed into that carriage, replaced by this hollow husk of a person you are now?
You suppose it doesn’t matter. You’re here. Yoongi is here. Tomorrow, you will marry Daniel. And from there, you will take things as you have. One day at a time.
Eventually, you manage to pull yourself together. Your face still feels stiff and puffy, but you refuse to remove the cloth you’ve draped over the mirror, so you don’t know if it really is. You’ve got a headache–all the pressure behind your eyes and in your cheeks is enough to make you feel like your head is splitting open. Part of you just wants to go to sleep. But it’s barely mid-afternoon, and you aren’t entirely sure what you’re supposed to be doing.
The wedding is tomorrow, but you’ve gotten almost no direction from anyone on what should be happening. You suspect that something should be happening, but you have no idea what it could possibly be. As a child, you spent more time climbing trees and tormenting Namjoon with Yoongi than dreaming of your wedding, but even still. This feels like a business transaction.
A knock at your door pulls you from your thoughts, and it takes a moment for you to gather yourself. Your mind is a little hazy as you slide the bolt unlocked and open the door, but when you see Eden standing there, you force yourself to come to your senses. The prince bows slightly with his head, inclining it forward ever so slightly. It’s respectful, but only so much–he’s still the one with royal blood.
“How are you holding up?” he asks, stepping into the room. You haven’t really invited him in, but you step aside anyway and close the door behind him. “I heard that mother may have accosted you over the norigae this morning.”
“She was within her right,” you tell him softly.
Eden hums. “Still. You’re to be part of this family. Mother is just disappointed that she won’t be the most important woman in Daniel’s life anymore.”
“I don’t think that’s remotely true.”
He snorts, a wry smile on his lips. In the year you’ve been at the Ironhold, Eden has become your favorite person here. You don’t particularly trust him, but of everyone that lives in the Crownlands, he seems the most normal.
Casually, Eden wanders over to a window, looking out over the courtyard several levels below. “It is my hope that things will get easier for you in time.”
From where you’re sitting, that seems almost impossible. But you don’t want to quash his optimism. So you smile politely and nod.
“I brought you something,” Eden tells you, and the way he says it, it sounds almost like a conspiracy. 
Carefully, he pulls a long strip of fabric out of his pocket. It’s a beautiful silk, red as blood–the chosen color of House Choi. He holds it out with both hands.
“Technically, my brother should be giving this to you,” he says as you take it. “But I don’t think he cares so much about keeping to every tradition. Just the ones that are convenient to him.”
You can feel something thin and hard inside the silk. Eden nods, and you gently unfold the fabric. Inside is a hairpin, shiny silver and around the length of your hand. The end is an intricate dragon head, expertly forged, and in its mouth, a bright red gem. The same dragon that stands resolutely on the Choi family crest. It’s pretty, but something about it makes your heart hurt.
“Tomorrow, you will become a dragon,” Eden says. “You should be able to dress like one.” 
“Th-thank you.” You can barely manage it, and you hope that he takes your struggle as emotion and not the war that’s starting to wage within you.
After Eden leaves, the hours pass slowly. You aren’t sure what time it is when Daniel stops by your chambers. He barely speaks to you, but you can tell something is different about tonight. He stays longer after, falls asleep in your bed, on top of the coverlet. You aren’t sure when you drift off, only that you do.
You aren’t quite sure what wakes you up. It’s late. Or maybe early. It’s pitch dark–you can’t even see candles in the windows across the courtyard. Mysteriously, Daniel is still beside you. You’ve awoken on your side, so you can’t see him, but you can feel the dip in the mattress and the pull of his body on the blankets.
But there’s something else. Your blankets almost feel damp, the linen heavy with an extra weight. You sit up, curious, and immediately notice a spot that pools around Daniel. It’s soaked down deep into the mattress, the spot dark, almost black, in the dark of night. You reach out and touch it, and though you aren’t sure what you’re expecting, it’s sticky.
“My king?” you ask softly, touching his arm. He hasn’t moved since you woke, and you have a sinking sense that something is horribly wrong. When he doesn’t rouse, you shake him. “Daniel?”
There’s no response. His arm is stiff. He does not move. Your skin is sticky. You shake him harder, so hard that he rolls over. For a moment, you believe he’s awake. But then you see the cloth sticking out of his parted lips. And the gaping hole in his neck.
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citrustan · 5 months
Text
slipping through my fingers [3] (myg)
title: the calm before the storm
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pairing: min yoongi x reader genre: dilf!yoongi, exes and co-parents au, angst!, fluff, smut summary: you're hit with some harsh facts that you aren't ready to entertain. warnings: [hi find the story masterlist here] insecurity, stubborn oc, ft. public enemy no. 2 (for now)
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The restaurant took twice the amount of time they usually do to deliver your orders. On top of that, they ended up charging you a convenience fee for taking too long.
Taehyung was now on the phone, negotiating a refund or a discount from the place.
Meanwhile, you had tucked yourself in bed. You still had a lot to ask him. Now that you saw Yoongi’s girlfriend on his phone, you’re wondering if Taehyung’s close to her. It’d be awkward if they were.
On the contrary, you do feel a tad better at the idea that your friend was no stranger to the woman. For Nao.
Even though Yoongi would never bring anyone he didn’t trust wholly around your daughter, it’s an extra layer of security for Taehyung to know or know of her.
Taehyung walks into your room with freshly picked peonies in his hand.
“I still can’t believe you’re letting Nao meet her before you do.” He voices.
Still, you skip over the statement, “What is that in your hand?” Taehyung didn’t have those with him when he came.
“They’re flowers.”
“Yeah, they’re peonies. Like the ones Katarina grows. In her garden.” You observed, realisation hitting you slowly.
“Ok, what’s your point?” He pauses and sniffs the petals, “WOW, these are fragrant.”
A little agitated, you prop yourself up on your elbows, “My point is that you stole my neighbour’s flowers?”
It’s hard enough maintaining a flower garden in an apartment complex. You did not want to participate in ruining it for her.
Taehyung took offence to your accusation, “I didn’t steal! I bought them.”
Confused, you ask, “Why?”
“They’re for you. For your room. I thought you liked flowers.” He looks around your room.
Oh.
“Where’s the crystal vase I gave you?” Taehyung walks into your closet in search of it.
“Next to the shoes,” you trail off, “I think…”
You were used to Yoongi bringing your flowers every other week. But because he stopped recently, you put all your flower vases away in storage not wanting to be reminded of Yoongi’s flowers, or rather, the absence thereof.
Reemerging from your closet, he sets up the flowers on your bedside table. And you fall back in bed with a ‘thud.’
“Tae…” You trail off, lazily patting the spot next to you.
He joins you in bed, “Yeah?”
“Are you close with her? Like, are you friends?”
He carefully watches you.
Your eyes were trained to your ceiling but you could tell that his were on you.
“I met her at the gallery a few times. We went clubbing together. That… Do you remember when I invited you that one time?”
With your brows scrunched, you rapidly turn your head to face him, startling him.
“YOU INTRODUCED THEM?” You couldn’t control the way that came out.
“I didn’t intend to! I- I wanted you to meet her, but when you said no…” His voice faded off.
He looked like a kicked puppy. However, you were too riled up to stop.
Suddenly, you jump off the bed, feeling a rush of emotions. This was one of those moments when you could feel the blood pumping through your veins and hear your own heartbeat in your ears, and you couldn’t just lie still.  
You run your hands through your hair, “I can’t believe you introduced my ex to his WIFE.”
By enunciating every word, you tried to process this new piece of information in your own way.
You couldn’t help but wonder; Had you not refused to go out with Taehyung because of Yoongi being there too, is it possible that you and Yoongi would’ve ended up together instead?
It wasn’t Taehyung you were angry with. It was yourself. But you were in too deep and couldn’t help the words coming out of your mouth.
Still, you continue, “And you didn’t even TELL me about them.”
“And how long have Yoongi’s ‘other girls’ lasted? And what even was this? Love at first sight or some bull?” You’re pacing around your room. “You could’ve warned me, Taehyung.”
“What? What just happened?” He asks, mostly to himself.
Sitting up, he explains, “_____, I didn’t know. I didn’t know they kept in touch! He didn’t seem that into her!” Taehyung was visibly forcing himself to keep his voice down. His tone of speech still leaned towards comforting.
Holding Taehyung’s full focus now, you almost whine, “I don’t deserve this.” You point a finger at him, “Just answer me.”
After a long pause, he sighs, “What do you want to know?”
“Why did nobody warn me?”
“_____, you’re putting me in a difficult position here.”
“No, I’m not.” You dismiss immediately, “Why did none of you lot tell me about this new girl? Why was I so out of the loop? It’s like you were trying to exclude me because you like Yoongi more or something-”
“_____, YOU told us not to. That’s why nobody ‘warned’ you. You can’t get mad at US for respecting YOUR wishes.”
Flabbergasted, you gasp, “WHAT are you talking about?”
“You don’t remember? YOU told us to never update you about Yoongi.”
You shook your head.
You don’t believe him. “That’s stupid.”  
“I agree.” He nods.
“No. I mean, you saying that. That’s not right.” – “_____. You might not remember it, but you weren’t the easiest person to be around after you broke up with Yoongi.”
“I know. I was there,” you spat, spitefully.
Taehyung frowned, “This is why I didn’t want to do this.”
That pauses your train of thought. You don’t understand why he’d bring this up now. You knew you were a mess.
After Yoongi moved out of the home you shared, your break up was actually finalized.
After that, all your time went to your daughter. You were hyper-fixated on her and might’ve neglected other aspects of your life, but you’ve come so far that you don’t understand why he’d remind you of that again.
Mayhaps you should take it down a few notches. But your head was too full of anger to acknowledge his stance.
“Forget about it. Let’s not do this now,” Taehyung kindly suggests. “Why don’t we go down to the bakery?”
Anxiously scratching your neck, you declined, “Taehyung, no. Just… I really don’t remember saying that,” you spoke somewhat apologetically.
You returned to bed, plopping yourself next to him.
Gracefully accepting, Taehyung coos, “I know, angel. But that really is all I can say.”
Yet another moment of silence takes over your space.
You cleared your throat, “Is she a good person?”
Taehyung looked at you awkwardly.
Before he could respond, you add, “She seems to know about me, I want to know her too.”
“She’s okay.” He shrugged, making your smile a little. “Don’t try to flatter me…”
That smile doesn’t last very long though. Taehyung caresses your back as you navigate your emotions. “I want to cry but I can’t and I don’t know why.”
Taehyung opens and shuts his mouth a few times, debating whether or not he should say anything.  
You change the topic before he could, “Where’s the food?”
“I traded it for the flowers.” – “That’s nice.”
Taehyung remained by your side, his presence a source of comfort amidst the chaos in your mind.
Wordlessly, he offered a supportive embrace that you eagerly accepted.
As you sat there, grappling with your emotions, your phone abruptly rang, startling both you and Taehyung.
The caller ID displayed Yoongi’s name, and for a moment, your heart stopped.
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₊˚.🎧 ✩。 die 4 you by dean ₊˚.🎧 ✩。
note: ok this was probably a little boring but its imp background
this was supposed to be a part of the previous chapter but it got too lengthy so i thought i'd cut it out for a flashback later. but i think it makes more sense now.
! and i hope it answered some of your questions kinda
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wildestdreamsblog · 2 months
Text
Latibule Spinoff: Elysian
Pairing: Doctor/Mafia!Kim Seokjin x Intern!Reader 
Warnings: Yandere behavior, Possessiveness, Manipulative behavior, If you’re not 18+ please, PLEASE, do not interact. Be mindful of the warnings. Let me know if I miss anything.
A/N: If you like this, kindly consider reblogging
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Masterlist, Part III of __
The drive back to the hospital was blurry to Seokjin. He reminded himself to give Yoongi a call, after all, he did break a lot of traffic rules and regulations just to arrive at the hospital to…why exactly? Why was he so adamant on driving back to the hospital in such a hurry? What was he to do once he saw the reason for his misery?
What exactly was he to do once he got to you? Once he saw you? And what if you didn’t want anything to do with him anymore?
He didn’t have to think long because there you were- smiling so sweetly at the hospital staff, your absence definitely felt not just by him. Everyone noted your absence. You were the sunshine of the hospital and when you left, he felt…unbelievably cold. Nothing was right in his world and he even found a pimple on his glorious forehead this morning! The audacity of such thing to grow on his otherwise lovely and godly face! All because he stayed up all night tossing and turning! It was all because of you that he wasn’t getting his beauty sleep!
He almost believed that he was really affected by your absence, and he wasn’t…was he??? 
“Oh, Doctor Kim! You’re back!”
He blinked when he heard his staff greeted him, her eyes holding confusion at his sudden appearance. Seokjin understood her, though. After all, he just left not more than an hour ago. He should be at home resting his beautiful face.
He watched as your back stiffened before slowly, and Gods, ever so slowly turned to him. For the life of him, he didn’t know why his breath hitched when you met his eyes. Or why his heart beat faster when he could finally see you. Or why his heart felt uncomfortable when you left.
Was he experiencing a minor myocardial infarction?!
And heavens, why did his cheeks feel a lot warmer when you smiled at him?! Did he now have to pay his dermatologist a visit?!
“Do you need anything, Doctor Kim?” his staff asked him to break the silence when enough moment had passed and yet, the hospital’s director was merely looking at you.
Kim Seokjin finally blinked, wrenching his eyes from your beautiful ones. Your eyes seemed so soulful. He didn’t know why there was a sudden fluttering in his heart, and he did not care to know why at the moment. Instead, he cleared his throat, his gaze briefly dropping on the table of his staff. “I…left my pen.”
“Your pen,” you repeated with a heavy tone of confusion and disbelief.
And there it was, your first words to him after your week-long absence. He was such an idiot, he thought. In his beautiful life, he never thought he would be reduced to calling himself an idiot when he was brilliant! He was always the top in his classes! He was always quoted in the medical research for his intelligence! He was so clever and for the life of him, he didn’t know why he blurted out that sorry excuse.
But there was no way to get himself out of the hole he dug. “Yup. And look, there it is!” he leaned in to grab the pink and glittery hello kitty pen from the staff’s table. “It has sentimental value,” he murmured as though it was all it took to explain the bizarreness of his presence. “I don’t feel comfortable being without it.”
His staff frowned, her mouth opening to protest. “Sir, that’s my daughter’s-”
“Anyway, now that my presence is perfectly explained,” he quipped up and effectively cutting of his staff, he clapped his hand once before turning his full attention on you, completely ignoring the other person. “Where have you been?”
“I’m sorry?” your head tilted at what you heard. Did you hear him right? Never once did he ask you anything, so why start now?
You looked up at his expressive eyes, his plump lips hanging agape as he grappled for words to explain his unusual question. “I-I mean, the hospital is so understaffed and as the chief, it is my responsibility to make sure that this institution runs smoothly. After all, lives depend on us.”
“Sir, my leave was approved by my direct superior,” you said, trying to reason calmly at him.
“But still, one week is still too long. Next time, don’t be gone for a whole week,” he replied back with an air of finality that you definitely did not appreciate. In your barely restrained annoyance, you walked ahead and pushed the elevator button a little too hard before turning to him. You took a deep breath as he only looked down at you, the ridiculous hello kitty pen still clutched in his hand.
“Doctor Kim,” you started with an emphasis to his title. “I’ve only ever been gone one week a year. One. I work even when I’m sick, I attend to my patients even when it’s holiday, even when it’s my birthday, even during the death anniversary of my parents, or even when I’m not scheduled to be at the hospital. Never once did I careless about any of my patients. So please, don’t make it seem like I don’t care.”
“That’s not what I meant-“
“But that’s what you’re implying, Sir,” you snapped back, locking eyes with him, a resolute expression on your face. He didn’t like it, he realized later on. He had grown accustomed to your soft gaze, accustomed to your face lighting up when you looked at him. And now that you were looking at him with the absence of what he was used to, it didn’t sit right with him.
Kim Seokjin would later on realized that he had always ever wanted you to look at him like that, with that undeniable focus and intensity, solely for him.
You averted your gaze away from his as soon as the elevator bell chimed. You were resolute on entering the elevator and getting away from his vicinity when it opened, revealing a patient along with several nurses and doctors bustling to exit and you were on the verge of being caught in the commotion. You were about to get hit when Seokjin encircled your wrist, swiftly pulling you away from the oncoming gurney pushed by the rushing nurses. His hold on your wrist was firm and your brows inevitably pulled together, a flash of pain passing through your face.
None of that went unnoticed by Seokjin.
Seokjin frowned, his eyes trained on your wrist covered by your white coat while you were watching as they hurried to the operating room. He knew he didn’t pull that hard, too aware of his own strength and too unaware of his desire to never hurt you. You didn’t even feel when he pulled up your sleeve. He did it so softly, a glaring proof how terrified he was of further bringing pain on you, regardless of how he never meant to.
And there they were.
Several bruises of varying intensity marked your beautiful skin. Scattered on your forearms were day-old scrapes that looked like they had started healing after causing you pain.
Seokjin's heart clenched with a mix of remorse and an anger that surged within him, fierce and unbridled.
You finally noticed him when the nurses passed, the gentle way he was holding you was too contrast on how hard his jaw was clenched, his face almost impassive as he glared down at your scrapes and bruises as though they offended him. Your eyes widened as your injuries were exposed to his eyes that you pulled your arm away from his grasp. A silent acknowledgment passed between you, recognizing that he had allowed the release only because his grip had been secure.
“I-I have to go, Doctor Kim,” you couldn’t even meet his eyes as you bade him goodbye. His intensity, a stark departure from his usual demeanor of avoidance, left you unsettled. The memory of his comical attempt to escape you in the hospital lobby flashed in your mind, highlighting the irony of the current situation.
Literally.
He ran away from you once in the hospital lobby and there were several witnesses as the Chief ran as though there was an emergency.
You were about to enter the elevator when he spoke, his voice emotionless, his eyes bore into you with an unsettling coldness. And you could have sworn right then and there that he was an entirely different person that day.
“Who did this to you?”
The question hung in the air, laden with an ominous weight. In that moment, the stark transformation in Seokjin left you grappling with the realization that beneath the goofy and childlike facade you had come to know, there existed a man capable of chilling intensity and a protective instinct that seemed poised to unravel a hidden side of him you had never witnessed before.
You averted your eyes before letting out an awkward chuckle, hyperaware of the eyes on the two of you. “Don’t worry about them.”
It was apparent that that was not good enough explanation for him and you found yourself gulping from the force of his eyes that you were left no choice but to supplement your explanation. The words tumbled out in a hurried confession, “I was cleaning my house, lifting those boxes when I missed my step and fell down the stairs, okay?”
For a moment, Seokjin blinked, and in that subtle shift, the cold intensity dissipated, replaced by a flicker of understanding. There it was—the familiar Seokjin, the one you knew. The tension in the air lifted, and as his features softened, you couldn't help but marvel at the duality that existed within him.
He let out a soft sigh, before taking your wrist in his hand. He looked down at the bruises with heaviness and a touch of sadness in his eyes, his thumb softly running back and forth on them as though he could sooth them.
As though he could take the pain away and make it his own. And in that very moment, Seokjin knew that that was what he wanted- and that strangely, he never wanted to see you in pain. Without a word and uncaring of anyone that was looking at the two of you, he pulled you to his office.
---
“This is really unnecessary, Doc,” you winced as he gently put cream on your healing wounds, his face that of concentration as he sat in front of you.
You found yourself in an uncharted territory. You had never been this close to him knowing full well hat your attraction to him was one-sided. While it was fun for you to chase him around the hospital, you knew there could be nothing more to it. The line between lighthearted pursuit and genuine emotion was a boundary you were careful not to cross. There could be nothing more to it, you reasoned, convinced that your damaged self wasn't fit to be with someone as seemingly perfect as he was.
You knew where you stood.
“Y/N,” he spoke with a kind voice, his eyes still trained on his task. “Can I ask a favor from you?”
“Of course!”
It took a moment for him to answer, and he only did once he deemed his task complete and flawless. Gently, he reached for your sleeves, pulling them down with a delicate touch. His beautiful eyes met yours, a sincerity in his gaze that tugged at the edges of your guarded heart. “Can you please not get hurt anymore?”
The simple plea hung in the air, laced with a genuine concern that touched the depths of your soul. In that moment, the walls you had carefully constructed around your emotions quivered. His earnest request left you grappling with the realization that, perhaps, the line you had drawn between you and Seokjin wasn't as rigid as you had thought.
You wanted to cry, you thought. No one had ever cared if you got hurt. Not once. And here stood the perfect angel you perceived him to be, asking you to not be hurt anymore.
And so, for the first time, you lied to him.
You flashed him a faux smile, fronting your, nodding your head as you said, “I promise, Doctor. Wouldn’t want to disappoint the most handsome man in this hospital.”
His blush was definitely worth it, though.
---
“What are you even doing here?!” Kim Seokjin finally had it here and shouted as he heard Jungkook sighed so loudly again for the twelfth time and he could no longer focused on the research paper he was reading! He was even sure that his secretary outside could hear him behind the wall.
This was such a waste of time, he thought. Their golden maknae was wasting his time when he should have been done with this an hour ago.
“I’m just existing here, hyung. Go back to your work,” he mumbled from his position faced-down on the couch.
“You’re existing so loudly!”
Jungkook suddenly sat up, turning to face his hyung with an indignant expression, “Ah, so when you were the one pestering me in my office, it’s okay? But when it’s me, it’s not?!”
Seokjin responded with a smirk, a touch of mischief in his eyes. "Exactly!"
“How does that make sense! That is hypocritical and I’m going to sue you!”
“Dibs on Namjoon as my lawyer!”
“You can’t just call dibs!”
“I just did!”
“Well, Namjoon hyung likes me more!”
“Are you sure?! Or it’s you that like him more?!”
“You-“
Their banter was abruptly interrupted by a knock on the door. Both heads turned towards the entrance, watching as the door slowly opened, revealing you. Your eyes shifted between the two handsome men, assessing the situation that seemed like a mid-battle exchange.
“Am I interrupting?”
Seokjin's demeanor shifted almost imperceptibly, a master at maintaining composure. He flashed you a reassuring smile, only to shoot Jungkook a discreet glare when your attention was diverted.
“No. Everything is good,” Seokjin affirmed, keeping his smile intact while subtly warning Jungkook with his eyes. The unspoken tension lingered in the air, leaving you to wonder if you had just stumbled into the aftermath of a friendly dispute or something more significant. “Do you need anything?”
You blinked before showing him the form you needed him to sign. He smiled as he gestured for you to come in. He was looking over the form as Jungkook observed you.
It was you, he noted. He was sure it was you that was making his hyung lose his mind little by little. His mischievous side won and he stood up, walking to you with his hand outstretched.
“Hi, I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Jeon Jungkook, his little brother,” he introduced himself. You shook his hand once, smiling at the polite and charming man.
“I’m Doctor Y/N, nice to meet you.”
And then out of nowhere, Jungkook said the most absurd lie Seokjin ever heard him say. “It’s my birthday today. Eat dinner with us?”
“Jeon Jungkook!”
---
You and Seokjin walked behind Jungkook as he skipped merrily to one of his favorite restaurants, the streetside stall that he passionately swore served the best grilled pork. The randomness of the situation left you questioning how you ended up here, but it was undeniable that saying no to Jungkook and his enchanting doe eyes was practically impossible.
“You don’t have to be here if you don’t want to,” Seokjin mentioned casually beside you. His hands were in his slacks, his eyes trained ahead. He was matching your steps, your surmised.
“Do you not want me to be here?” you asked in that small moment of courage. You looked on the other side, your heart skipping a beat from the anticipation of his answer as you watched the flow of traffic. Silence reigned for so long that you were sure he wasn’t going to answer, or if he was, you were sure that he was going to gently turn you down once again.
You were waiting for the blunt from his kind rejection, yet this time, it didn’t come. The air remained pregnant with unspoken words, and for a moment, you were suspended in the quiet tension until he said something that made you fall for him just a little bit deeper.
“I want you here.”
The shocked from his words left you reeling that you stopped walking altogether just to stare at his broad back. He hadn’t noticed yet that you stopped walking until he was few steps ahead of you. He frowned before turning back to look at you.
And that moment, a genuine smile spread across your face as you noticed telltale hint of red on his ears. The man couldn’t even meet your eyes, instead, his simple admission reduced him to blushing man that shuffled from foot to foot.
Uh oh.
You were in big trouble.
You were surely and slowly falling for Kim Seokjin. And this time, it was beyond a harmless crush.
You were, as the folks said, fucked.
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Part IV
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7ndipity · 5 months
Text
Their S/o Has Depression
Ot7 x Reader
Summary: How they would respond to their S/o having depression(or having had depression in the past)
Warnings: mentions of depressive episodes, not proofread
A/N: Thank you to the lovely anon who requested this! I’ve actually thought about writing something about this several times, as it’s something I’ve dealt with for many years, but wasn’t quite sure how to go about it.
Reminder to anyone who needs to hear it that you are loved, you will be okay eventually, but it’s okay to not be okay right now. If you need anyone to talk/vent to, I’m here for you💜
Masterlist
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Jin: He would probably be really quiet when you first tell him, just trying to understand and take everything in. Tries to pay closer attention to your moods, and handles you a little softer on the days when you need it. He does his absolute most to make you smile everyday, even if it’s just for a second. He knows it doesn’t make the darkness go away, but sometimes those little moments of light are enough to get you through.
Yoongi: He’s also had his share of struggles with this in the past, so I feel like he might have picked up on some cues, but waited for you to bring it up when you were ready. He tries to subtly look out for you without being overbearing, checking in throughout the day and helping out where he can. Understands that some days you just need to be quiet and ride out the storm, so he’ll just lay with you, keeping a hand out for you to grab if you need it.
Hobi: It would hurt his heart so much to know you’ve gone through/are going through that kind of pain, but he would be so grateful that you trusted him enough to share your struggles with him. If it’s ongoing, he would be super attentive to your moods, trying to help out and support you in little ways wherever he can, whether that’s doing the dishes, making sure you’re eating properly, or just showing you funny videos he found online to make you laugh.
Namjoon: He’s been rather open about his own struggles with depression, so I think he’d be very understanding and sympathetic when you tell him. Very proactive about talking through whatever it is you’re feeling, even if you think it’s stupid or unimportant. Tries to get you to go out or take walks with him on better days, just to make sure you get some fresh air and sunlight regularly, and help make sure you're looking after your physical health as well as your mental.
Jimin: It would break his heart to realize that you struggled/are struggling with this, but his sole focus would become how to help/comfort you. He’s really empathetic, so he would pick up on every little shift in your moods. He understands that sometimes you just need to be reminded that you’re not alone, so he’ll just wrap himself around you on days when you can’t do much, holding you together till you can put the pieces back yourself.
Taehyung: As sad as he is to find out about your struggles, I feel like he’s really good at normalizing things like this without being dismissive, checking in with a number system or smth so you don’t have to talk if you don’t wanna(10’s good, 1’s bad) Has a way of saying the most comforting things in the simplest way(like when he reminded that one fan that she was already a good daughter just by existing). Will lay in bed with you on low days, talking about whatever comes to mind just to help distract you.
Jungkook: As soon as you tell him, he goes into protector mode. He can struggle sometimes to find the right words, so he tends to express his care more through actions. If you can’t bring yourself to clean your apartment, he’ll do it for you(while commentating to you as if it’s a talk show). If you need to just sleep, he’ll curl up with you and keep you safe. The type you can call at 2am cause you don’t wanna be alone, and he’s got his shoes on and out the door before you’ve finished talking.
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