#you actually get to see Stanley grow and progress | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

moonieandi · 10 months ago

Text

snapshots pt. 4 | stanley pines x f!reader

summary: you and stanley unknowingly go on a date

warnings (TW): swearing, illusions of past abuse, alcohol consumption

tags: fluff, early relationship described, pining, slight angst, affection

notes: thank you all for the engagement! hope you enjoy <3

edit 8/27/24: hello! below i have linked an up to date masterlist of all the parts of this continuing series- hope you enjoy <3

word count: 3.9k

| masterlist | part v |

He had somehow managed to drag her out of the basement that day.

Of course, he had been down there assisting her in any way he could. A high school dropout only knows so much about mechanical engineering and quantum physics. Still, she seemed happy enough to dance around the chalkboard she (he) had dragged downstairs, bouncing off ideas with him contently listening, trying to piece back together complex wiring to get the ominous inverted triangle on the basement wall to whirl back to life.

She was even more spurred on when he actually engaged, not that he raised his hand like he was back in class (not that he ever remembered doing so when he was in class). She simply seemed grateful that he was attempting to learn anything to help her. To learn how to move this whole fucking thing along.

She dragged him to the basement quite often now that the shack was half shut down for the winter. He had managed to see a few rounds of locals and tourists through the Murder Hut from early October until Thanksgiving when snow began to fall. Then tourists dried up, and only the locals frequented now, so Stan reduced his hours and gave some more of his time to helping her downstairs during the day.

Every night was spent downstairs in the basement though, there hadn’t come a day since she stepped through that front door that they both didn’t wander down to the portal. Of course, this was usually then followed by convening upstairs in front of the T.V., Stanford’s journal passed between the two of them.

She had grown more frustrated as of late, raving about alien material and compatibility with human electronics. He did his best to understand, and he followed along very aptly. Always wanting to be an attentive sounding board, and even bouncing his own, albeit stupid, ideas.

Not that she ever made any indication of them being stupid, and not that she would ever stop him from voicing them.

Educationally, he felt it was the closest he’d ever gotten to an actual education. Said education being advanced quantum mechanics, but everyone had to start somewhere.

But now they were out for dinner because, after yesterday’s long night of pacing and chalkboard rants, he thought they deserved to go out on the meager earnings of yesterday’s Murder Hut tour.

That and it had been exactly a year since he first laid eyes on her. Not that he was gonna tell her that.

He could acknowledge that she may have noticed the amount of time that had past, hence her growing irritation with the lack of progress in getting Stanford back, and her growing hours spent in the dark of the basement. But she more than likely didn’t know of the significance of the exact date, or care, which he figured may be more likely. Especially with the anniversary of Ford’s disappearance having come and gone.

December had been hard for the both of them really, and some things had settled somewhat awkwardly between them from the previous week.

They both handled the anniversary slightly differently, her with general avoidance, head somehow buried deeper in that god-forsaken journal. He found some semblance of self-soothing in diving head first into holding a conversation with any customer that walked through the front door of the Murder Hut that day.

Sitting across from each other at the dinner table was hard that night, and for the first time ever, she poured copious amounts of wine into their mugs on a weeknight. The kitchen had been eerily quiet that night, the silence only broken by scrapes of plates and mumbled conversation.

He remembers being disgusted with his hands that evening. Remembers thinking about how he had shoved his brother away that day, how Ford had stumbled from one end of the room into the other just to disappear before his eyes. How his hands had reached for Stanford, calling for him. How the journal made its way back to his hands, but his brother hadn’t. His hand had been constantly grazing his shoulder that day, running along the raised scar, a sickening feeling sinking further into him throughout the day.

They had both shuffled around each other that night, and she had not said so much as good morning and goodnight in her mounting grief, it felt like. She had felt bad about how she handled that day but had felt even worse about failing Stan and Ford. She knew of the hope in Stan’s eyes that day when she had trampled in through the door of the shack, knew the relief he felt in her knowledge and presence. But a year had passed, and she could feel nothing but shame when she looked at him. She saw both twins that night while looking over at his hunched figure across the dinner table. She had said goodnight to Stan and Ford that night and had wandered upstairs wondering if she could wash the image from her eyes in the bathroom sink.

They had both returned to normal by Thursday but had grown more determined than ever before. So yeah, Stan figured a night out may be deserved.

She seemed happier now, sitting crisscross from him in the Greasy’s diner booth, elbows on the table as she reached over to draw along the corners of his paper placemat with the crayons she had swiped from some kid on the way in.

Something that made him chuckle for a little too long. He must be a bad influence. He had sticky fingers and she knew it. It now seemed to be a competition between the two of them, who could steal the most random of objects.

Her hand was out, shielding the drawing on his placemat as she switched between the meager 4 colors the shitty diner crayon pack supplied. He nudged her hand aside as she giggled.

“No! My masterpiece! Give me a second you grump.”

“It better be good, Picasso, you’re hoggin all the crayons.”

She handed over the red one, and he elected to reach across to her own paper placemat, beginning to draw his usual comic-book-style figures. One of the figures, oddly enough, began to look like her.

Her face was so close to her drawing she might as well have been kissing the table, when she shot up, smiling at Stan and looking for approval.

“Ta-Da!” She moved her hand, showing a mish-mash of red, blue, green, and purple.

He stared contemplatively, sitting back in his seat humming. In truth, he had no idea what he was looking at, but he would entertain giving an “expert” review.

“Hmmmmm, now the color selection may be controversial to some but I think the blue and the purple over here are just lovely. Truly an emotional piece mhm.” He nodded his head, pointing at the corner of colors.

“You have no idea what it is, do ya?”

“Not a clue Doc.”

She laughed, pointing to the blue and purple figures. “Okay so these are two llamas and they are totally in love. You can tell by the cool rainbow and shooting star I put by them.” She pointed at what he figured was the “rainbow and shooting star” between said “llamas”.

“And they are here in Gravity Falls because I drew a bunch of pine trees behind them!” She pointed to what he supposed was the foreground and the mess of green sprigs she had tried to draw.

He hummed again. “Very moving, very touching Doc.” He moved to wipe a fake tear, sniffling along with his act.

“I ain't much of an artist, am I Stan?” She laughed, finding humor in her lack of skill.

He gasped, fake clutching his pearls, an even faker mean expression on his face. “Don’t say that Doc! This is a masterpiece!”

She smirked. “Okay, then that will be 50 bucks for said masterpiece, pay up!” Hand held out to him she made to grab his placemat.

“Pretty steep price there kid, don’t get ahead of yourself now.” He conceded.

She smiled again. “I knew you thought it was shit.” Shaking her head at him she moved to look at his own drawing. “Now what's this?”

He smacked his hand palm side down on the corner image, a blush on his face. “Nothin’!”

She nudged his hand now, trying to lift his hand finger by finger. “No! I had to show you mine now fess up! What ya drawing?”

His hand clenched the corner of the paper placemat, ripping the picture of her from the corner of it and crumpling it up into his hand.

“Nope!”

“Yup!” She had risen up with her hands on the table, reaching for the corner paper now clutched above him in his fist. “Lemme see! Don’t do this Stan!” She giggled the entire time.

He panicked at her determination, fisting the paper into his mouth.

“Gross Stan!” She laughed. “What the fuck!”

He swallowed the paper, not thinking much of it. Saving himself the embarrassment of having to explain himself. He smiled across from her though, as she cracked up at his over exaggeration.

She looked just right, under the shitty diner lights. Car headlights flashing as they went by from time to time, he began to wonder how long she would stay. If she would linger around, once Ford had returned. Wondered what it was that note said, that she brought in with her that very first day she burst through their front door. She had put it away after that day, and he never really did get to see his brother’s usual cursive gracing the paper. What was it he had said, to get her of all people out here?

She was too good to linger, he figured, and Gravity Falls felt far too small for someone like her anyway. Even if the unknown waited past their doorstep, they both hadn’t made the move to wander into the woods in search of the creatures Ford had spoken about. Something they had both voiced before over dinner, their shared hesitation to walk too far from their doorstep. If it was just himself he reasoned he would have wandered into the woods looking for signs his brother had been there, he wasn’t fearful of the unknown, he had done plenty of other things that were far scarier than what waited in their backyard. But she was here, and he felt some semblance of duty to watch her back in particular. So they had made a pact to not wander off too far from the other, and they had stuck to that deal even when coming into town.

The townsfolk hadn’t seen Stan without her by his side since he trampled into the gas station in search of food that very first week. Surprisingly, not too many townsfolk approached her at all when they were out. If it was because he tended to glare at unknown men, she didn’t comment.

“Order up!”

Susan made her way back over to their booth, her hands full with two separate plates of short-stacks.

“For you Mr. Pines.” Settling one plate in front of Stan, Susan moved to place the other in front of her. “And the other for you Mrs. Pines!”

Brain short-circuiting, he freezes in his motion to grab his fork for his meal. His mouth began to move to correct Susan.

“Thanks!” She said across from him, a panicked look in her eyes. Face creeping up into a flush as she thanked the waitress.

Susan made her way away from the table after exchanging common pleasantries, all the while he sat in suspense.

Only after he could swear Susan was out of earshot did he lean into the table, chest close to his plate to whisper across at her.

“What the fuck was that?”

She looked beyond guilty, ringing her table napkin in her hands as her eyes flickered to every corner of the diner that didn’t contain him.

“I-I may have… accidentally… at some point, perhaps…” She sighs, knowing the drive home will be silent, absent of the usual radio. At least it would be if they couldn’t make it through the mistake she had made all those months ago. “Accidentally, sorta, maybe, kinda, let Susan think that we were married?” Her voice rising in octave, her hands running along the rim of the diner table now.

He sits back, disbelief struck him. How the fuck had she managed that?

She answers his question unknowingly. “Okay, so for your birthday in June, remember how I begged you to come to town?” A nod. “Well, you know how I snuck off to Greasy's to get you some birthday pie?” Another nod, remembering how she had been so happy to have correctly guessed his favorite kind that night. He hadn’t even chastised her about the money she had spent on him.

She continues, hands now flying around, trying to flick the memory away. “Okay well, when I got the pie from Susan she had called my order and she called me Mrs. Pines. And I just…. froze up… and I didn’t know how to explain- well everything.” Her voice picks up speed. “I’m not good at lying, like I can do it, but she just caught me off guard. And we hadn’t discussed what we were gonna tell people- like what we were gonna tell people about us living together? And I thought of Ford and all that bullshit-“ she slumps further into the booth seat.

“And well, ya I just…I just didn’t correct her.”

Staring at him, expectantly now. Perhaps waiting for him to explode on her. But all he can manage to do is unravel his fork from his napkin and dig into his pancakes to finally take a bite. Chewing around it, he finally can ask something. He’s less likely to yell with his mouth full.

But the question dies on his lips. He feels more confused by the second, and then more frustrated also. The silence she figured would follow in the car seems to have raced ahead and sits between them at the table now. Her appetite diminishes by the second, and she no longer waits for some sign from Stan, some indication of acceptance. She didn’t figure there would be, she knew she had fucked up. Or at least, fucked up by not telling him about all this sooner, but she had more or less forgotten in between work and well… enjoying living alongside him. But perhaps the arrangement she had unknowingly shoved him into wasn’t something he was comfortable with, which was understandable. She hadn’t ever really believed herself marriage material, and more or less figured she was even less so in Stan’s eyes.

He knew she wasn’t the best liar, their old conversation concerning his name had rushed back to him. He hadn’t wanted there to be any lies between them, because he knew it would be difficult for her to upkeep them on top of everything else. That and he believed that their arrangement and reliance on one another wouldn’t work in the slightest if they were just spilling bold-faced lies back and forth to each other. But this arrangement she had stumbled headfirst into came as a surprise. Perhaps they should have rehearsed something to say to everyone who asked about them, but then again Susan didn’t really ask, she had just assumed that they were together, were married. He understood her stumbling into something like that, but he was struggling to find a way back out of it. Because he couldn’t allow her to live attached to him like this, didn’t want her to have to lie for their own comfort.

A lingering worry in the back of his mind, concerning his past. What if it all came rushing back? What if someone was out there looking for him? What if they hurt her?

He was far past frustrated, not at her though. At all the scrapping and clawing he had to do just to get here, to wind back up in the comfort of lies to survive. But he didn’t want her scraping by with him through this, he wanted her to live. At least before today, he believed she could leave him behind if it all fell apart under him. Always an escape plan somewhere in the back of his head, a way out, a door to reach in the dead of night. But she had shut it, and he didn’t know how he was gonna get her out of it now.

They finished dinner in silence, something that also rubbed him the wrong way. He was frustrated, and taking it out on her. She folded into an odd shape across from him, now looking dim in the diner light. It only served to frustrate him more.

Susan didn’t comment or come by to further disturb them through dinner, which was odd for the waitress. She liked to talk, and Stan knew that the south half of town would know about their silent dinner by Friday night.

Bill paid, they made their way back to Stan’s car. His coat caught up in her arms, he opened her door and shut it again after she entered the car without so much as a prompt.

He didn’t voice a single word until he made it to his seat, he had been too wound up concerning what she had said. That and he hadn’t wanted anyone else to hear their conversation. To know about the lie she had sown, tying them unknowingly together.

“So you’re tellin’ me that this town has thought that we’ve been a couple, no married, for about six months?” His hands tight against the steering wheel.

“Well no, because it was just Susan. Like, maybe just a few people know?” She reasoned.

He shakes his head, chuckling. That’s not how small towns like Gravity Falls worked. “Nah, she told everyone. People in this town are nosey Doc. Everyone’s gotta know by now.”

He adjusts himself in his seat again, reaching his hand out to the back of her seat, like he always does. She’s swallowed by his red coat, her hand meticulously passing the patch he had put across his right shoulder. Humming to fill the silence. He sighs.

“This is gonna be hard, Doc. I get why ya shrugged off the assumption Susan made, really I do, but that doesn’t change the fact ya didn’t tell me.” His hand rubs his eyes, frustration seeping off of him. How the fuck was he gonna pull this off?

“What do you mean?” She interrupts. “It won’t be that hard Stan, we can manage this, it won’t be too hard.” She shakes her head, trying to smooth over his frustration.

“How am I supposed to convince this whole fucking town you married some sorry-sap like me doll?” He points between them, an intensity to his eyes. “Now this will be the hardest con. Because why the fuck would you have married me, huh?” He shrugs, throwing his hands up.

Looking over his scarred shoulder, feeling regret seep through his bones when he sees her now. Sitting there, his winter coat hung off her shoulders, a look of disbelief on her face. An apology on her tongue, he could almost hear it now.

“Don’t.” He shakes his head. “What’d I tell ya Doc, don’t apologize to me.” He turns back to face her now, still shaking his head.

“No.” Anger blooming on her face. “No, why the fuck would you say that Stan. Why the fuck would you even think that.”

She was fuming, a look crossing her face he had never seen before. He had never seen her this thrown before, and he hadn’t the smallest inkling as to why her anger grew tenfold in the face of his statement.

“Because I ain’t no good and you damn well know it!” Voice raising, hackles rising.

“No!” She shakes her head, fingers fisted into his coat sleeves. “You are good, Stan! I don’t wanna hear that utter bullshit from you, don’t say that to me. I don’t believe it, not for a second.” Shaking her head, refusing to leave his gaze. "You're kind to me, you're considerate to me. You're good to me." She reasoned. But he was only ever really good to her if anything. Only kind in the face of her everything.

He thinks of his parents then, their image mirroring their own, but only for a moment. Arguments in front seats of cars and in front of televisions. How they would bend and snap back to each other, how he figured his father would snap and his mother would lie, to soothe him. She would lie, to see the end of the argument, to soothe frustration and heal hurt. But he figured it had more to do with his father's temper more than anything, more to do with raised voices and raised fists. But she was a terrible liar, his Doc, and he would swear to be less of a terrible grump.

He slumps in his seat, turning glassy eyes ahead of him.

“I just didn’t want you to have to lie for me, hun.” He hadn’t called her that in weeks, a flickering memory of that dream always made him flush at the enderment. But he enjoyed how she melted when he did call her that, so he’d concede his embarrassment for her.

“Stan, we can do this.” She slides closer, into the middle spot of the long bench, reaching her hand to his chin and pulling him into an earnest gaze. “Stan we can do anything, we will do anything, to get your brother home. And if it means lying like this then I'm prepared to do it.” She chuckles, humourlessly. “Especially because I’m the one who got us into this mess.”

She’s beautiful, he thinks, this close. Diner light seeping in through the dashboard window, her eyes looking deeper than he'd ever been allowed to notice. She's even more beautiful, as she giggles across from him, slipping a stolen diner spoon into his hand. Slipping her fingers around the stolen object and his fingers. He chuckles finally, he's a terrible influence. His heart settled into that familiar aching sickness, something he doesn't dismiss as much now. Now that it felt as familiar as her. There was a certain comfort he fell into when it came to the feeling and her now, one that made his heart race.

It wasn’t a mess though, what she had done, but it did solidify what he had to do next.

He had been thinking about it for a while, thinking about what sitting in one spot would bring to his, their, doorstep. Thought of the crimes he had left behind, skipping from state to state. It's what had kept him up late at night during those early summer months. What had made him linger around the door late some of those nights also, what if it all caught up to him? Would she be safe?

No, he figured now. Now that she had intrinsically tied herself to him, she was safest next to him. That she hadn't shut any door, that there was a way out, but only for the old him. So she wouldn’t be leaving, but that old part of him would have to. Protect her, them.

He sighs, ready for the conversation they would have to have. He would have to be more honest about himself, he warmed, kinda like her. But really only with her.

“There's something I gotta do then, hun.” He shuffles, leaning into her warm palm along his cheek. “I gotta die.”

She pales next to him.

#gravity falls #gravity falls fanfiction #gravity falls imagine #stanley pines #stan pines #grunkle stan #stanley pines x reader #stan pines x reader

441 notes · View notes

defectivevillain · 8 months ago

Text

snap out of it

pairing: The Narrator/Reader (can be platonic or romantic)

reader's race & gender are ambiguous; no pronouns or physical descriptors are used.

summary: The Narrator's voice buzzes in your ears, but the words he utters are meaningless. You’re too overwhelmed and fatigued to pretend to understand his mind games. You settle for burying your head in your hands and closing your eyes, attempting to distance yourself from everything.

word count: 1.3k | ao3 version

warnings: canon-typical derealization, panic attacks, hyperventilation

author’s notes: This is not my best work. There, I admit it. It’s a bit rushed. But I wanted to post this, sue me.

You’ve explored the office countless times. You’ve gone left, right, down, up… You’ve followed and ignored the strange man’s directions… You’ve searched every nook and cranny of the building. But you still haven’t found a way out of this nightmarish cycle. It doesn’t matter where you go or how you get there, because you’ll always end up back at your desk, staring at a blank computer screen. Lately, it's been growing harder and harder to make sense of your spiraling thoughts. After all, doing the same things over and over again while expecting different results… is just insanity.

Throughout the time you’ve spent here, a man’s voice has been following your progress and narrating your decisions. At first, you thought he was imaginary; you quickly learned that wasn’t the case. Somehow, he has control over the physical environment: he's able to manipulate the building at will, creating doors and corners and endless hallways out of nowhere. You would only be able to escape if he wanted to, and it soon becomes clear to you that he doesn't ever want you to walk free.

You sigh and tap your fingers restlessly on the keyboard in front of you. Above the comforting hum of your computer, The Narrator’s darkly amused voice reverberates in your ears. “Oh, come on. Did you actually think that someone would love you?” You shudder at the memory of his cruelty, of the way he commandeered your existence with such ease. After all, you’re in his story, aren’t you?

Speaking of The Narrator, he must be growing impatient with your stationary position, because he soon launches into his typical introduction. Yet you remain frozen at your desk, unable to get yourself to move.

“Stanley has to do something,” he reminds you in a few seconds. Ah, that’s right. Your name isn’t Stanley. It was never Stanley. But The Narrator seems insistent on it, for reasons you can’t quite elucidate. The nickname is the least of your concerns, at this point. You still have no idea how to get out of this place. Taking a shuddering breath, you rub your hands over your face and stare at your computer. You’re not sure how long you’re sitting there, but the time seems to drag on nonetheless.

“Stanley is unaware that a refusal to act will accomplish nothing,” The Narrator remarks smartly. If you had more energy, you’d roll your eyes. All you can manage is weakly bringing your hands up to plug your ears, desperate for some solace. You just want to be alone in your thoughts.

But The Narrator is persistent, as always. “Stanley also thinks that my voice can be blocked out, somehow.” You can almost see the smile he must be wearing on his lips. Something unsettling prickles along your skin. “But no. Stanley can still hear me.”

You take another breath, discovering the effort is a bit more difficult than normal. You close your eyes and focus on your breaths, attempting to calm your racing heart. But it doesn’t still.

“Come on, Stanley,” The Narrator implores, a hint of desperation leaking into his voice. It’s the first time he’s shown genuine emotion in a while. He’s quick to resort to dry wit or sarcasm, disguising his real feelings. But it sounds as if he’s frustrated. “Get to your feet. Explore the building. Jump out the window. I don’t care! Just do something!”

The Narrator has shown unwavering persistence before, but now, he almost seems to crumble in the face of your silence. “It appears Stanley isn’t listening to me,” he sighs defeatedly. You feel a headache growing in your temple, especially when he just refuses to stop talking. If there’s one thing you’ve learned about this omniscient man, it’s that he likes the sound of his own voice. “Whether it’s out of spite or a lapse in attention, I can’t be sure. Although… I must say, I’m rather curious. Stanley has never been so still before.”

Admittedly, his detached observations never fail to unnerve you. It’s as if he sees you as some sort of specimen under his microscope; a plaything manipulated for his entertainment. You are nothing more than a character written into his story. You have no agenda of your own, instead falling prey to whatever plot devices he creates. You feel nausea climbing up your throat at the recognition.

“We’re at an impasse here, Stanley.” The Narrator says gravely. There is no humor or condescension in his voice. “The story cannot advance unless you will it to. As much creative direction as I have, I am utterly powerless when it comes to initiating the story.” His voice buzzes in your ears, but the words he utters are meaningless. You’re too overwhelmed and fatigued to pretend to understand his mind games. You settle for burying your head in your hands and closing your eyes, attempting to distance yourself from all of this.

You sit there for a long time—long enough to realize that The Narrator doesn’t have any dialogue left. Finally, you’re greeted by silence… but it’s weighed down by the pressure on your shoulders, and the unshakeable knowledge that there is no escape from this building or this dreary existence. Your breaths are growing choked and hurried now. You clutch at your chest—as if that will do something—and gasp. Suddenly you’re on the ground, against the wall of your office as you stare at—no, past—the door.

“…Stanley?” You’ve never heard The Narrator sound so uncertain before. Now there are hysterical laughs crawling from your chest, interspersed with far too quick breaths. The lights above flicker and you laugh disbelievingly to yourself, putting your shaking hands over your ears again.

“Try to breathe.” The Narrator’s infuriatingly calm voice only irritates you further. Right, because I hadn’t tried that already, you think to yourself wryly. But then he starts to count, guiding you through inhaling and exhaling, and your breathing slowly returns to normal. Suddenly, you’re able to notice the slight strain to his voice—as if he’s concerned about you. It’s a misguided thought. A foolish one. But you’ve been alone in this office for so long now—you need someone to latch onto, even if they only pretend to tolerate you.

“It’s okay.” The Narrator’s voice cuts through the renewed silence. “We can take a moment. We’ll get you to the employee lounge, where you can just rest. How does that sound, Stanley?”

My name isn’t Stanley, you think to yourself. Then you frown at the suggestion. The Narrator is many things—merciful is not one of them. You’re not given much time to ponder that thought, as you blink and suddenly find yourself standing in the employee lounge. Another blink and you’re reclined on the couch. You’re too tired to attempt to puzzle out just how that happens. Hardly anything that occurs within these walls makes any sense to you.

Before you can lean back into the couch, you feel a phantom weight on the crook of your arm, as if someone is placing a reassuring hand on you. Then there’s a scratchy blanket thrown over you, and the comforting warmth of a hand cradling your jaw.

…Is The Narrator attempting to comfort you? If that's really the case, then you’re not sure if his efforts are working. But you’re exhausted, so you’ll take the momentary reprieve—regardless of the danger it may pose. After all, falling asleep in front of The Narrator would mean you’d be showing him complete vulnerability—something you’ve fought to hide from him thus far.

But your fatigue has grown overwhelming, and you find yourself succumbing to the darkness in spite of these fears. The Narrator’s voice grows farther and farther away, until it’s imperceptible. Although, you don’t think you need to hear what he’s saying: the brush of a thumb against your cheek, wiping your tears away, tells you all you need to know.

thanks for reading! <3

check out my other works, sorted by fandom.

general taglist: @its-ares @excusemeasibangmyheadonawall @kingkoku @the-ultimate-librarian @gayaristocrat

friendly reminder that i don't give permission for my writing to be shared to other sites, stolen, copied, translated, or used in any way. thanks!

#defectivevillain #spooktober #sobs #I knew I'd get here I just didn't know when #stanley parable #the narrator #narrator x reader #narrator x gn reader #narrator x male reader #transmasc reader #gn reader #male reader

67 notes · View notes

foundnthestars · 6 months ago

Note

For the things we lost au, has there ever been times where Stan tells stories to Dipper to calm him down after a traumatic experience or just before bed or just in general?

I know currently Dipper’s and Stan’s relationship hasn’t gotten to that point yet but I’m curious!

Also what other tricks besides teaching Dipper how to use a gun and stealing does Stan ingrain in Dipper? Does he teach him all the tricks he knew from his days of the street?

And since Dipper’s still growing does Stan teach Dipper how to conserve their money, how to shave, how to barter with people/ being okay with talking with crowds or how to do certain math problems (because Stan has worked on the portal for a long time you can’t tell me that he didn’t pick up some things even if begrudgingly)

Does Stan teach Dipper all of his best Uncle Jokes/funny stories, and despite saying he (Dipper) hates all of them does Dipper secretly appreciate them ever once in a while?

Does Dipper help Stan with stuff too? Like does Dipper learn to read different Alien languages just so he can help Stan read stuff or does he steal a little bit of extra food because he knows if Stan doesn’t get enough for the both of them, all that food will be put towards him sl Dipper gets more to help Stan?

I know that Dipper had helped Stan with his hearing aids but what other things does he do for Stan?

DO DIPPER AND STANLEY EVENTUALLY GET A PIRATE ADVENTURE?! Please say they get a space pirate adventure!!!

Also do both Stan and Dipper pick on some alien languages because with Stanley picking up Spanish and Dipper’s interest in learning new languages I don’t think it would be too much of a stretch for them to learn

wow, HELLO! :) you literally made my entire morning when i had to peel myself out of bed at 5am to make it to my shift, and i've been thinking about these asks like all day. thank you anon!!! thank you for giving me an opportunity to rant about this wonderful, beautiful, tragic au. i'm so glad you're enjoying it!!

first off, yes, 100%. there's actually quite a bit of that in the next chapter. as dipper's walls begin to come down and his anger toward stan slowly but surely ebbs away, so too will stan's walls. in canon, stan doesn't share really any of his childhood (at least from what we see) with the kids until atots. in ttwl, it's implied that stan tells dipper more or less the same story we got in that episode (just minus ford's perspective/part of the story), but he will be sharing a lot more of his backstory, life advice, and stories with dipper as the fic progresses. this will help dipper understand stan's motives and will help move the healing process along for them. a lot, if not most, of dipper's anger toward stan is just resentment for being left in the dark (dipper famously hates not knowing stuff). and stan wants so badly to regain dipper's trust. he also wants to protect him from the things he feels he's failed him on this summer already (read: bill). 100% we will see stan rambling about this or that or this to a traumatized and or terrified dipper just to keep him out of his own head and to reinforce in the kid's head that he has someone beside him that he can trust.

side note: stan (and ford's) struggle will be in trying to maintain the kids' childhood and trying not too force them to grow up too fast. but they aren't perfect people and the circumstances are obviously awful and not conducive to helping maintain the kids' innocence. they'll fail and fuck up and they'll get some things right, too. but i can definitely see stan trying to lighten the mood/share stories as i can see ford taking mabel on light-hearted, low stakes adventures when things with the portal become too intense and her mental health begins to fall by the wayside.

SECOND, there's so many things stan will teach dipper! but, i'm willing to bet that stan didn't exactly take the best care of himself during those years he spent on the road. so there will be a lot of things he will have to learn himself! like, where stan spent weeks and weeks skipping meals because he had to, he can't stand seeing dipper do the same. he won't allow it. he'll have to push himself even harder to make ends meet than he did during those years. he wants better for dipper.

as for the things he teaches dip, i'll just list some of them out. you'll definitely see these things play out in ttwl but this question is fun and it's a fun sneak-peak:

stealing (pickpocketing and petty theft both)

how to put on a half-way decent con (in journal 3, ford mentions having to talk his way into food and shelter, and stan and dipper will 100% have to do the same. i imagine he'll actually catch on pretty quick but he'll absolutely hate doing it.)

how to read a face (i.e. is this person full of shit. everyone knows a good con man can spot a con right back)

how to drive (later)

how to shave DEFINITELY. dipper will start growing a little stache or goatee and stan will practically shove a razor in his direction the second it starts coming in.

how to be a ladies man (they'd have their roadside attraction arc and dip would learn basically that confidence is in himself and not in stan's fake womanizing "skills")

things dipper should be learning in school. stan clearly wasn't at the top of his class but you're right in saying that he learned a lot of things when he was building the portal. and dipper's a curious kid, they'll both seek out ways to help him keep on his education in some shape or form.

life experience/advice/etc. stan has 58 some years of life under his belt and he'll share whatever wisdom he has. can't promise all of it will be good lol

there's definitely more that's slipping my mind at the moment, but yes to all of these. and yes to the horrible uncle jokes. none of that stops. and once dipper starts being able to bear him a bit more, he'll secretly love hearing them. he'll love them for the normalcy they help him feel and because if stan is able to laugh and make jokes then maybe everything will be okay. maybe it's okay for him to laugh too, even if everything is so shitty.

as for reading alien languages, there's actually some plot explanations regarding translators that will be explored next chapter. as a resident guardians of the galaxy fic writer, i know all about writing about sci-fi translators and the like. i'm keeping the same explanation for how translators work in this fic too. meaning, dipper and stan will be able to read most alien languages really soon. though, because i like the idea of stan and dipper being able to speak some of the languages they learned during their time across the portal when they get home, they'll probably still try learning some alien languages without the need for translators. i imagine they'll get home and just start speaking, i don't know, like Galactic Standard with each other and ford will pop in and chime into the conversation without missing a beat and mabel will just be standing there wide-eyed and entirely lost for words.

AND YEAH. dipper will do lots of things for stan! besides the unintentional things that dipper does that he doesn't know about — like giving stan a reason to get up in the morning and filling him with happiness and purpose — he'll do his best to reciprocate favors! like, 100% if dipper noticed stan was skipping meals so he could eat more he'd steal something on the side for stan or lie and say he isn't hungry. they'd also both do little things for each other like steal or buy little trinkets or items the other person might like. stan'll buy dipper a notebook to chronicle their adventures and dipper will steal these chocolates he knows stan likes or a funny little doodad or whatever. maybe a gun or a knife if he's feeling crazy.

dipper will also sacrifice his own sleep a lot in order to take watch. the kid's an insomniac already, and stan is older and needs more sleep to recover from brawls with giant alien creatures or running from the law, so dip will do a lot of selfless things like that for stan. both of these guys tend not to think of themselves much so they'll probably both try to sacrifice stuff equally as much. of course, stan wont really let dipper most of the time.

and, i'm not opposed to a space pirate adventure. inquiring minds want to know more.

#gravity falls #the things we lost #reverse drifting stars au #dipper pines #stan pines #mabel pines #ford pines #answering asks #asks open #anon you are amazing thank you #this is entirely stream of thought so sorry for the ramble

25 notes · View notes

techforevil · 5 months ago

Text

January 2025 | monthnote

Is it even a new year if I don't make some doomed attempt at weeknotes?

Random notes inc work stuff

Vicky dying still does not feel real. I feel privileged I got to spend some siginifcant time with her when she came along to Conferencia Agile Spain (like most people I primarily knew her from her writing and online presence, altho we met briefly a few times when we overlapped at GDS) and was hoping to follow up on a few things we talked about at GovCamp but equally it means I can't just indulge in my full-on denial mode...

Worked through xmas-ny break like usual. It's usually a chill time unless I am in this department, where apart from the ongoing time-sensitive work lots of random emergencies happened. So glad I'm off for a couple of weeks now, I've not had a proper break since Japan in March/April and I'm shattered.

Overall so much random and weird shit was going down at the end of Dec / start of Jan (including both me and my flatmate having very strange dreams) I was beginning to suspect a gas leak... 🙃

Got extended till Feb 2026 in my current contract. 🎉 It should make getting a mortgage easier, now just fingers crossed that the property does not get down valued like the last one and my sellers find something they want to purchase soon.

Quite a lot of change at work, lots of it quite neatly coinciding with my leave. The migration from GOV.UK PaaS my team was prepping for for the last year got delayed last minute and now I'll be missing it but I'm sure it will all go fine.

Booked in with Keemee for a tatoo just after the holiday. 🌺

Govcamp happened and I was mostly helping our rather than going to sessions. :o Good times as usual, felt particularly busy this year for a 'normal edition'. I really like that we finally have a bit of a Teacamp return with TransformGov Talks and also sort of DataBites! \o/

Spanish classes are back. I've not signed up for Korean yet, there's probably a fair bit I can do to brush up close to my former level by myself if I just find the motivation. :s

Watched

Lots of Taskmaster, the perfect crocheting accompaniment (see below)

Nosferatu - the scene in castle 100% played like something from What We Do in the Shadows, I'm not even sorry for giggling throughout. 😔 Needed more Dafoe hamming it up. I was shocked the cat was not named in the credits - breaking a sacred tradition of cinema. 4 stars.

Presence - not a horror, not my kinda thing otherwise (family drama). The central gimmick could be fun in an actual horror movie tho. Another one they kind of employ ('not being bound by time') is sort of redundant because the progression is linear (I suppose otherwise the twist would be ruined). The marketing vs movie kind of fell in place for me when I realised it's the same distributor as Longlegs which was also underwhelming.

Late Feb / March seems staked with releases I want to see: The Monkey, The Last Showgirl, Mickey 17, Death of Unicorn... probably more. Those are just the trailers I saw before Presence lol.

Played

This is probably between Dec-Jan rather than strictly Jan.

Fledgling Manor - Stefan's route only, basically not sure how the other ones can top it so I lost interest but it seems all need to be played to resolve some plot points so maybe in the future...

Sorry We're Closed - I thought this would be a VN but it's a survival horror and I find the shooting stressful haha. You can say I hould have read the description before buying but I was blinded by the art. -_-

bits of Arco (love the mechanics and the story is good but I got stuck at an encounter I can't pass but I'm too stubborn to back out and return at higher level), Animal Well, Stanley Parable (at very long last - yes, it's as good as I thought it would be), I Was a Teenage Exocolonist (tbh the mechanics were more interesting to me in a more down to earth setting of Growing Up), Cryptmaster (Steamdeck does not work well for this).

Waiting for Yakuza in Hawaii, more Hades 2 patches, next Deltarune chapters, and Ghost of Tsushima sequel + Assassins Creed Japan (open world map marker slop > therapy, don't @ me).

Makes

Decima is still closed so no pottery. I've probably forgotten 100% of what little I could do. I'll probably do a course at Mudgang when I'm back to return to some working level and then get either a studio space subscription from them or Turning Earth near Haggerston, depending on how the flat buying is coming along.

In the meantime I have finally sort of learned how to crochet. I got a kit from TOFT to make a black and white cat, resembling Bella a bit. I tried crocheting before a few times (I learned very basic knitting during lockdown and have half a pride blanket from Wool & the Gang somewhere) but it always ended up with me crying, once in public. 🥲 The kit said it's level 2 so I got another level 1 one (labrador)

TBF they are not that different, cat requires changing colours which is actually not hard if you get over the initial barrier to entry of crocheting anything at all. 😬 The cat is also bigger which makes the process much less fiddly.

TOFT instructions are quite barebones and don't have any interim 'this is what it should look like by now' pics which as a complete beginner is quite rough, but I think I managed to make decent approximations of the cover images. I made some changes to the cat on purpose.

Belly disagrees.

The biggest issue I have with TOFT kits so far is that the amount of yarn provided leaves no room for errors or even leaving longer tails. With both patterns I made mistakes (crocheting with dark yarn is particularly hard going if you don't know wtf you're doing) and the yarn started fraying real bad so I had to chop it. I actually had to buy more yarn (which doesn't exactly match...) to finish the cat at all. :(

I got yarn and patterns for two sheep (Seth and Tobias) from them to keep busy on the upcoming flights so we'll see how consistent this minimalism is. 😬

Anyway then I went crazy at John Lewis sales so I have lots of materials now, just need patterns and ideas. The first one is not going particularly well and I'm losing my patience sligtly, might swap to something else.

またね! ✌️😗

#weeknotes

5 notes · View notes

snow-in-space · 9 months ago

Text

(Posting this again for all the tags.)

Love the “Stanford is a different entity from both Stanley and Ford” take. “Stanford” is a genius turned odd conman after the death of his twin, who has 12phds, tried to steal his brother’s grandkids, and may or may not’ve had six fingers at some point. It’s the natural progression of the twins literally both being called “Stan” growing up, which also makes Stanley going by “Stan” more weighted. He doesn’t want to replace his brother, but they were already interchangeable.

And yeah. Stan forgiving Ford and Ford forgiving Stan IS THE BEST OUTCOME. They needed each other all their lives and that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that they only had each other, and both felt like half a person. As a result, Stan never planned for anything outside of their childhood dream, and Ford felt compelled to run from it to get his own space (both aided in their desires, of course, by the golden child and black sheep treatment). And that wasn’t either of their faults, even if it set them up for failure when things went wrong!

I love the idea of exploring their residual issues further on the boat. Like, Stan’s love for Ford is overbearing to him, because Stan hopes Ford would be willing (though not actually needing) to give up just as much for him as he would give for Ford— but Stan would give up a lot. Ford is often unhappy with Stan’s uninformed and potentially catastrophic decisions, because while they agree that where they go they’ll go together, that means Stan’s messes become his messes. But some of Stan’s decisions are sacrifices, and not wanting those means being seen as ungrateful— which is a complicated subject, because Stan can’t expect Ford to support everything he does and all it’s consequences, but often Ford— by his own admission— is taking him fore granted. While he doesn’t want to need it, Ford expects sacrifice/support from Stan at a moments notice as well as cooperation that he isn’t always willing to reciprocate. His upbringing makes it difficult to consider that Stan could be right or he could be wrong— and Stan is stubborn, so sometimes he fights the losing fight because he’s tired of always being wrong, even when he is. They can both be incredibly spiteful and petty, but where Ford can be dismissive, cold, and even demeaning for long periods of time in his normal stream of consciousness, Stan has a habit of blowing up at the worst possible moments when tensions are at their highest and his feelings matter the least. Ford doesn’t understand the need to balance personal needs and the greater good when getting people to listen to him, but Stan takes everything way too personally. Ford looks at the big picture (and sometimes the even bigger picture, where he gets lost), and Stan has only ever thought in terms of his family and his personal survival. Ford lives in a world that’s bigger than Stan’s, and that causes a lot of friction.

And all that’s just the stuff you got glean from their past conflicts. That’s not even mentioning Ford now being more physically powerful (or at least combatively skilled) than Stan which could change their dynamic, Stan practicing more complicated arithmetic, their combined criminal histories, how they feel about each other’s old enemies + victims (because these men are ruthless and they have them, lol), or the identity theft (I love those funny comics where Stan responds to Ford’s name, but let’s see the existential dread).

There’s so much that can be covered, but these two LOVE each other like GOOD BROTHERS, and at the end of the day I’m sure there’d be just as much defensiveness and stubbornness as guilt and reassurance on both sides. They were each the last person the other wanted to hurt, but they were so intertwined from the get go that they each completely reshaped each other’s lives. For worse, but also for the better. Especially on that kickass boat that I hope we can finally see some time.

The thing I can't get over is how Ford just fails to grapple with the enormity of Stan's thirty year lie. He's angry at Stan for taking over his life, which is fair, but also means that he can't see all the ways in which Stan made it his own. Like him or not, everyone in town is familiar with Stan Pines. He's fully established himself as a part of the community, and on top of that he's been running a successful business and teaching himself interdimensional physics. Ford writes in Journal 3 that "it's hard to believe the parents would trust these kids with Stanley; they clearly thought he was ME!" because he can't grasp the fact that, to Mr. and Mrs. Pines, there's only ever been one "Uncle Stanford," and he's the wacky old conman who fought off his brother to hold the newborn Dipper and Mabel just a little longer.

I'm saying this because I love Stan and thinks he deserves credit for all the ways he's pulled his life together, but also because I love Ford and need to talk about the existential horror of having your whole ass identity literally taken from you. He can't accept that Stan could be seen as a responsible guardian, but what's even worse is that "Stanford Pines" is beloved not through Ford's merits but Stan's. He left so little impact on his town and on his family that Stan could completely take over without anyone noticing. Shermie is his fucking brother, and he couldn't tell the difference because both twins were equally absent from his life.

On the flip side, Stan finally got to settle down and succeed at life, to do all the things his dad said he couldn't; but he only escaped his role of "the screwup twin" by literally taking over the identity of "the successful twin." No matter what Stan did, how reconnected with his family, it was always as someone else. Stanford could do it all, but first Stanley had to die.

I feel like this got a little depressing, but what I love about the Stans is that their story is fundamentally about hope and possibility. They may have both spent their twenties fucking around and finding out, but the story didn't end with the darkest hour. They've got time to be a family, to get to know the Pines' and the town of Gravity Falls as themselves. I adore the little detail at the end of Weirdmageddon, when Shandra Jimenez says "local hero, Stanley Pines" in her broadcast, because it proves that they're both finally getting the credit they deserve under their own names. Stanley and Stanford, distinct yet united.

#I always feel like I repeat myself with these two #but there’s always another little layer #Stanford and Stanley have my entire heart #and head #and everything

8K notes · View notes

thelivewireoracle · 1 year ago

Text

Weekly Tarot 1/22/24 - 1/28/24

2 of Swords, 6 of Pentacles, 5 of Pentacles + Broccoli Dragon (Place)

Hello everyone! This week’s message is about finding your place and making the right decisions. Lately, for many of you, there have been changes and transitions within your home and work spaces. This has almost created a sense of dissonance between what you’ve been working towards internally, versus what is actually being shown to you externally. As a similar message to last week’s reading - Sustain the energy you wish to embody.

The 2 of Swords appears this week for you as a reminder that sometimes the only way to find the clarity you seek is to go within. Honor your need for privacy and silence. Give yourself a chance to really settle into your current experience and see what your mind, body, and spirit are trying to communicate to you. You might find that perhaps big change may not be the answer you seek and that all you really needed was a peaceful break from the world. The Full Moon this week also offers you an opportunity to reflect on any progress you’ve made and any adjustments you might need to make ahead.

With the 6 of Pentacles, this requires you to really be mindful about where and how you are using your resources and energy. Amidst the current changes that are occurring, ask yourself:

Am I still getting what I want and need out of this situation?

How have I changed as a result of making progress toward my goals?

Am I comfortable with the direction that I am heading? And if not, could it be because this is something that is unfamiliar?

Am I still moving in alignment with my values? Or have my values shifted as a result of going beyond what I know?

As you’ve taken the time to consider your answers to those questions, the 5 of Pentacles offers another piece of information to contemplate. Traditionally this card represents losses. That’s enough to make anyone a bit nervous. As you move forward this week though, take into account that not everything you lose is truly a loss. Making space in your life for new situations can be difficult, but it can create an open road for so many blessings to enter. Some of you may be overanalyzing the risks that can happen between changes instead of simply making a decision with a healthy sense of detachment. It’s okay to feel a bit nervous. And there is nothing wrong with having to “start over” or work yourself up from the ground again. At the end of the day, you will find a way to make it work.

Lastly our friendly Broccoli Dragon leaves you with a message of support in the sense that you will find your place. Whether that is within a community or a sacred space that you create solely for yourself. Growth may not always come as easily as we would hope and oftentimes it leaves us feeling lonely. Sometimes the best connection you can make is the one with yourself. Cultivate a sense of safety from within and see where your connections eventually grow.

As you continue to fully embrace this energy of change, you’ll see how the Universe meets you in the middle with each step that you take. Be open to what comes and show up genuinely as yourself each and every day. As always, take what resonates and be blessed :) - Lilith Jane

Decks Used

Traditional Manga Tarot, Lo Scarabeo, Illustrated by Shou Xueting

Field Guide to Garden Dragons by Arwen Lynch, Illustrated by Stanley Morrison

#weekly tarot #tarot #thelivewireoracle #manga tarot #dragon oracle

0 notes

grunklefidds · 4 years ago

Text

an unfinished stanley-centered same coin fic that has been sitting in my phone since around new year's (i'm happy with what's there of it, it just cuts off abruptly and i don't think i'll be adding to it any time soon). enjoy

1.2k words, only significant warnings are for recurring discussion of self-loathing, some unreality/depersonalization as relevant to the theory, not particularly detailed mentions of violence, and a good sprinkling of cursing

stanley dreams of burning. flames hot enough to burn blue licking around him until theres none of him left.

he thinks the first time he told ford he really was a bad kid they were seven or eight. ford told him that he was wrong. stan gave him a noogie and they laughed it off.

he doesn't remember most of his dreams. still he often wakes up feeling like he's just got away with murder.

lying on his brother's bed with snow eddying outside the window, stanley was distantly aware that if he shifted to lie on his side, the fresh burn on his shoulder would hurt less. he didn't move. a fuck-up like him didn't deserve small comforts.

he burns up into nothing that night.

the phrase 'self-esteem' wasn't really present in stan's vocabulary until well after he'd got settled in to life as mr. mystery. talking about that sort of things with kids was not in style when he and ford were young, and for the first decade or so of adulthood he was too busy surviving to really give it any thought.

dreams are strange things, anyway. sometimes you do awful, awful things in them, as if watching yourself do it, any sense of horror completely absent. surely you'd never really do that! if all the people in your dreams are really you, if the you in your dreams is really you, then you must be some sort of monster, right?

stan tried to get in on the self help game back in '78: it seemed like an easy grift. when he found some junk workbook called SHAME 'N' YOU at a garage sale the first year he was in gravity falls, he dismissed it as more of the same. he still slipped it into his jacket. good for spare toilet paper if nothing else.

dreams of fire mix with dreams of him trapped in a colorless motionless place. it feels like home.

stan didn't like sleeping much in that first year or two working on the portal. at night he would sit in the kitchen desperately trying to understand the physics books he got at the library, alternating coffee and vodka, rather than sleep. he certainly didn't deserve to rest, not until he could clean up his mess. it only seemed fair.

occasionally among the dreams of fire and stifled screams there's feelings of comfort. some are memories of old hijinks with sixer but out of order with the colors brighter and warmer, and some are pink flashes of a sense of being protected. stan remembers these as little as he remembers the flames.

he found the phrase 'negative self-talk' not in the first book from the garage sale, but a similar one a few years later. stan scoffed at the concept. how could thinking that shit be a problem if it was all true?

his dreams are a bit less remarkable once the little guy starts working around the shack. it's nothing stan notices at the time, nothing abrupt, but dreams about ice cream goats and missing deadlines for high school english papers begin to slip in among the flames. some he even remembers. they leave him less exhausted in the morning.

at some point, despite the years of headache and frustration, it started to feel like stan was making good progress on the portal. it was satisfying, mastering all the nerd junk he picked up from books well enough to get the damned thing rumbling again. he wouldn't let himself feel proud of it, but 'accomplished' might be in reach once his brother was back.

his dreams are all over the place while the little ones are there. vivid memories of glass shard beach, flames a brighter blue than theyve been all his life, and horrifying sequences of him hurting the children in impossible ways. the traces of them leave his heart racing in the first moments after waking up.

having the young twins around the house made things a hell of a lot livelier. between getting general weird feelings from them reminding him of his brother and going out of his mind with worry when they didn't manage to hide whatever magical death trap they'd found that day, stan hadn't worked this hard at keeping a poker face since the 80s, at least.

dreams of happy days on the beach mix with ford looking at him with fear and shoving him onto a scorching stovetop. during the day, watching the kids smack each other with empty paper towel tubes, he recognizes the feeling in his gut as jealousy.

soos got on fantastically with the twins. stan was thrilled to see the three joking together, and tried to quash any fuzzy feelings over it. surely he was glad to have a load off while another adult (the big goober being over twenty still felt strange) could watch out for them. ...he could think more about who exactly he could call his family once he allowed himself to rest.

his dream the afternoon that gideon broke in is strange even for him. his memory of it fades as quickly as most of them do, but during it he's distinctly aware of someones other than him in his mind. some of them feel comfortably familiar- the kid he'd watched grow up and the kids he'd like to- and one feels terrifyingly familiar. he desperately tries to reach them, manages to pat dipper on the back, and is awake in what feels like seconds.

the day that the shack's deed was stolen, stan felt like he hit rock bottom yet again. of course he put on a strong face (out of courtesy) for the kids, and for soos (who probably knew better by now), and for soos' grandmother (who still intimidated him a little), but it was damned hard. thirty years of blood, sweat and tears over that machine, and a flimsy piece of paper with his brother's signature was still all there was keeping him off the street. all that work, added up to nothing. he couldn't help but see it as some kind of confirmation.

his dreams about jail are never pleasant. they're never true to life (though his memories of it are bad enough): something always twists partway through into some vast structure or impossibly tight space. they make him wake up nervous and ashamed.

he wouldn't say it to anyone, but stan loved cooking for other people. part of it was that he only ever ate enough to keep him moving when he was living alone (even well after things had settled in the shack). if it was for someone else, he actually thought about what the food would taste like, and, shockingly, he usually enjoyed it more. stan discovered this a while after soos started working there, but having the kids actually living at the house (not just there after school or whenever soos wanted to come over before his shift started), he was getting a lot more practice. it was nice.

stan dreams of being small and exhausted. he's giddy, he hasn't had an opportunity like this in decades- no, centuries! he runs around banging into every sharp object he can find, gleeful to have a new sucker to discard. the glee barely fades as the blue flames burn him out to wakefulness.

he makes bacon and eggs for breakfast.

later that day, he saw mabel stitching a sock puppet with her own face. he raised an eyebrow, but when she grinned at him he smiled back.

#stanley pines #same coin theory #gravity falls fic #dont @ me abt the changes in tense it is on purpose #i think i originally wanted this to go a little beyond what the finale covers but i forgot abt it -_____- sorry #p #stanley

48 notes · View notes

captainallthingspurpleme · 4 years ago

Note

35 & 46!

35. Who are your top 5 TV characters right now?

Oh Gosh! This is hard! I actually don't watch a whole lot of conventional TV (I'm more of a streaming TV watcher). Also, I have been HEAVY into Korean Dramas and Anime recently, so some of these may not ring a bell to most people. Let's see....

1. Hinata Kawamoto, "March Comes in Like a Lion" - I watched this show almost religiously on Netflix while processing my dad's death. The series itself is really amazing, and the manga is even better, but I love Hinata because no matter how hard life gets and how frustrated or angry she is, she never loses herself. She knows who she is, is proud of it, and has a family that loves and supports her. She also has this ability to care and empathize with others that makes me just want to hug her endlessly.

2. Choi Seung-kwon, "Itaewon Class" - He's a side character in this series, but he's one of my favorites because he meets the main character when they're both in prison. He is a former Korean gangster turned restaurant worker, and while he does struggle with leaving behind his old habits, he also genuinely cares about DanBam (the name of the restaurant) and the people he works with. He evolves over time and I just love how his arc progresses, even as a supporting character.

3. Stanley Hill, "Good Girls" - I had to go with someone outside of the girls, because all of them are my favorites for different reasons. Stanley, though, portrays a father and husband in a realistic, loving way. He and Ruby are SOLID, and even when things get insanely rough, he's with her 100%. Plus, he brings out a side that I don't feel is generally displayed with the men in Good Girls (with the exception, potentially, of Rio in later seasons with Beth) where even when he vehemently disagrees with Ruby's choices he still supports her. I have not yet seen all of Season 4, though, so PLEASE NO SPOILERS if this changes.

4. Kang Dan-i, "Romance is a Bonus Book" - another K-drama, and one I absolutely LOVE both for the premise of the show (it's on Netflix, highly recommend) and for the main character. Dan-i has gone through a really hard time recently in her life, and the series documents her efforts to a) find a job after being a stay-at-home mom for over a decade, b) find her own sense of agency after her marriage and financial situation has imploded, and c) growing in her relationship with a childhood best friend and the other people she works with. Dan-i is diligent, hard-working, and also not afraid to call people on their shit when she's had enough. As a character, I love that she portrays a working woman and mother so realistically, while also showing she has her own passions and desires. Sometimes I want to shake her and tell her to ask for help, but that's part of what makes her real to me.

5. Devi Vishwakumar, "Never Have I Ever" - Devi is, quite honestly, a mess. However, especially given the premise of NHIE, I relate to her A LOT throughout the first season, even when I shake my head at her attempts to burn down her entire life rather than confront her emotions surrounding her mother, as well as her father's death. She is in no way perfect, but that's part of what I love about her. Some of the stuff in Season 2 made me want to scream, but at the same time I can see how it fits with Devi's MO and I love the fact that she grows across both seasons. Plus, how can I NOT love someone who says their life decisions are based on Megan Thee Stallion?

------

46. Do you prefer to watch TV alone or with friends?

This really depends on the show and who I'm watching it with. My husband is not a fan of TV, period, so if I want to watch a show it's with my friends. Certain shows I watch by myself because their either a guilty pleasure (True Blood) or because they make me feel all of the things (Violet Evergarden or It's Okay to Not Be Okay come to mind). However, especially for comedic shows or dramedies, I typically watch with friends. One of my best friends and I watched our first episode of Good Girls together, and we were both hooked!

#OMG this is SO LONG #I did not mean to write a book #it just happened lol #tv show asks #I really need recommendations for new shows to watch #especially in the US #I don't have cable though #so if it can be streamed that would be great

2 notes · View notes

theres-a-goldensky · 5 years ago

Text

16 + 2 Reddie Fic Recs pt. 2

I’m back and still on my Bill Hader bullshit, so here’s another round of Reddie fic recs, because I can’t stop reading and sometimes sifting through the insane amounts of fic is a nightmare. So if you feel my pain and need some (at least in my opinion) fun stories, then come along with me on a magical journey filled with men crying during sex, hypochondria, and your mom jokes.

As ever, feel free to reblog and check out my other rec lists for the following fandoms:

IT chapter 2 list part one - Reddie

Good Omens fic

The Untamed list one and two - various pairings, mostly Wangxian

Various BL Series fic (fandoms: Love By Chance, TharnType, 2Moons series, My Engineer, Until We Meet Again, 2gether, History3: Trapped)

Or just head over to my bookmarks on AO3.

All my recs are completed, almost all of them are post-It chapter 2. * - denotes a favorite

1. I killed a clown. AMA! by liesmyth - ~10,000 words, teen - The history of Eddie and Myra’s marriage shown through their posts on reddit. The voices here are great, and it really feels like reading the reddit forums, down to the people sleuthing through their past posts and comments to try and figure out if what they’re saying is real or an elaborate troll.

r/relationships

Posted by u/martymcfly6xo 7 months ago

My (39F) husband (39M) likes horrible stand-up comedy. How can I stop him from bringing this up in front of our mutual friends?

For the last year or so my husband has been watching a lot of stand-up comedy on youtube. I want him to have something relaxing to do (he works a lot and gets really invested in his ‘hands-on’ hobbies in a way I’m not sure is good for him) but I was very puzzled by this discovery as he likes very crass acts and that is certainly not the kind of humor hubby usually enjoys...

2. all of the kids back home believing much more than you do by eatcheeseliveforever - ~11,000 words, explicit - This is a fix-it fic, which is becoming more and more rare in this fandom as we collectively started deciding that Eddie Kaspbrak doesn’t need to be brought back to live, because he never died in the first place, dammit. It has some great pining by Richie. You can really feel his grief and desperation as he searches for a way to get Eddie back. The other Losers are great in this too, especially Mike with his whales.

"A boat, actually," murmured Mike. "I'm on a whale-watching cruise."

Richie mouthed the words "whale watching cruise" to himself. Empirically he knew such things existed, that they happened not far away from the coast where he lived, but it felt like several fucking galaxies away from where he was, surrounded by the ghosts of takeouts and blackouts past and the actual ghost-ghosts, who he couldn't step in or stub his toe on at three in the morning, but hurt so much worse.

"He said you've been googling resurrection rituals."

Richie scrounged through his pile of empties, hoping one wasn't. "Bill talks too much."

"Richie." A sigh, or a wave, or a really quiet whale. "You're not going to find a resurrection ritual on Google."

"I've found hundreds," said Richie. "Funny thing, though, they all seem to call for orgies. Or virgin sacrifices. Or sacrificing someone's virginity in an orgy. I'm hoping Ben will volunteer as tribute."

3. * - you’ve got the answers to my confessions by QueerOnTilMorning - ~17,000 words, explicit - This is the good stuff right here. Richie accidentally sexts Eddie and Eddie is IN. TO. IT. This fic starts with excellent phone sex, there’s misunderstandings and confessions in the middle, and then it ends with super hot sex. There’s a brief part with karaoke that was a bit of a lull in the story, but doesn’t take away from how great the rest is.

suck on ur tongue

show u how much I missd that mouth

when u start getting weak in the knees

thats when ill get on mine

He set the phone aside to unzip his pants, palming himself through his boxers, already half-hard.

Then he froze.

The text he had just replied to--it was what he'd expected Travis to say, but it wasn't how Travis would say it. That text began with a capital letter and contained punctuation. That text was from--

"Oh, fuck, no," Richie whispered, and his phone rang.

Incoming call: Eds

4. * - L'Appel du Vide by Mackem - ~92,000 words, teen - I know, I know, almost 100k and no sex, but hear me out! The pining in this fic is so exquisitely beautiful and wrenching. Eddie’s POV is excellent and feels really spot on. The other Losers are well represented, especially Ben and Bev. In fact, the group dynamics here are almost as good as the relationship stuff. The later chapters bring in a subplot about the deadlights that I wasn’t that interested in, but it’s still done really, really well, and that’s only a side plot that doesn’t impact that exceptional story of Eddie and Richie figuring out how to stop being dummies.

Two messages, however, are from Stanley, sent to him privately. He opens them, and is met with a picture of Richie, apparently taken without him realising.

It shows him laughing, his eyes crinkled at the corners behind his glasses, and his smile bright and broad as a hand gestures wildly in the air. The other hand is in his hair, pushing it out of his eyes as he tilts his head back, displaying the line of his throat beneath his stubble.

The breath is punched from Eddie at the sight of it.

He stares at it for a long moment, surprised by the depth of his reaction. His stomach is swirling happily, a bubble of excitement growing at the pit, and he cannot help but feel a heated flush build at his cheeks.

It’s probably just because Richie looks like he’s enjoying himself. It’s good to see his friend having fun. That has to be it.

Then he reads Stan’s message.

Stan: He was talking about you. He does that a lot.

5. my love a beacon in the night - by zach_stone - ~4500 words, explicit - Richie is on the road doing shows through Christmas. His friends have a surprise for him. I know it’s almost Valentine’s Day, but it’s never the wrong time for a fluffy Christmas story imo.

“Yep, just got to my hotel,” Richie says. “Now I’m getting ready for my big Christmas Eve plans.”

Eddie snorts. “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“Well according to my TV guide, they’re doing a rerun of The Mistletoe Promise, so I’m all fuckin’ set,” Richie says, grinning when Eddie laughs. On Eddie’s end of the line, he hears the sound of cars passing by, the muffled chatter of people, and says, “Are you outside?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” Eddie says.

Richie glances at the clock on the nightstand. It’s after ten; Eddie’s not one to be wandering around Times Square after dark. He frowns slightly. Eddie’s been unusually vague about his holiday plans, so Richie has no clue what he’s up to this evening. Not that it’s any of his business. Maybe he’s started seeing someone and is spending the holidays with them. Richie has a sudden image of Eddie, arm-in-arm with some generically pretty woman, taking in the lights and decorations around the city. It opens a pit in his stomach.

6. Coming Back and Coming Out: Richie Tozier's 2019 by Lunatical - ~2000 words, teen - I genuinely adore the mixed media fics that this fandom has spawned. This one is an excerpt from a magazine interview with Richie as he restarts his career.

Slouched on his couch in a cheesy Hawaiian shirt and torn-up jeans, Richie Tozier looks exactly like the manchild he is describing himself to be. Next to him, sitting up straight and dressed in a lovely suit that most people would consider appropriate for an interview, his husband rolls his eyes.

When we scheduled this interview, Tozier insisted we hold it at their house, citing a desire for the interview to be “as chill as possible”—in his own words, of course. He argued that seeing the two of them in their usual environment would help me get a better idea of the kind of relationship they have. After walking into their apartment and seeing the way they’ve decorated the place, I have to admit that I can understand why.

7. baby, there’s no other superstar by kaspbrakziers - ~7000 words, mature - Another mixed media fic that shows the progression of Richie and Eddie’s relationship and Richie’s career through tweets, texts, and interviews. Eddie not knowing how to turn off the capslock on his phone absolutely sent me.

Search history

Today Sunday, 13 November 2016

should i get a divorce? - Google Search

Unhappily Married: Should I get a divorce? - Yahoo Answers

10 Signs Your Marriage Is Over - Buzzfeed

how to divorce? - Google Search

How To File For Divorce (With Pictures) - wikiHow

how to divorce someone without them getting angry? – Google Search

can you divorce someone without telling them? - Google Search

8. Goes on Trips for the Scenery by InkandOwl - ~4500 words, teen - Eddie dies and then comes back to life and tries to get some perspective. I liked the conversations between Eddie and Richie and then way that Eddie starts to take care of himself. The end is really sweet.

If cosmic power and a literal alien space clown’s death wasn’t going to bring him back to life, Eddie was certain that the terrible pain of hearing Richie beg, his tears dropping onto Eddie’s face, probably would’ve done it. He feels sick just thinking about it. About what it all means. “Yeah, Rich, I will.” He could throw a jab at him, tell him something about eating like an adult for once, but he wants to be easy with him right now. Richie deserves it. “You’ll text, right?”

Richie looks down at the prepaid cricket phone in Eddie’s hand and laughs, “There’s no fucking way that thing gets texts.”

“It does.” Eddie grins, “You could call too.”

The fight drains from Richie, his shoulder slumping and he sighs, “Yeah, Eds, I’ll call.”

9. cause i'm about to blow that back out by thotgreeves - ~5000 words, explicit - Here, have some porn. Eddie wears lingerie and Richie loses his goddamn mind. Features submissive top Richie and his unending boner for Eddie.

Richie really should have learnt to never underestimate Eddie Kaspbrak by now. It had come close to killing Richie once, but Eddie might actually be trying to finish him off.

Because the other perk of always letting Eddie go ahead of him was that it gave Richie a prime view of Eddie's ass. Eddie knew about this part and was okay with it. He was wearing a high-waisted pair of slacks that Richie was pretty sure came from the women's section, slightly loose in the legs but nicely filled out by his ass. Richie had been very vocal in the past about how hot they got him, which signaled that Eddie definitely wanted to have sex tonight, and that was already enough to make Richie's dick twitch in excitement. He hadn't been prepared for the finishing blow.

Richie's eyes were fixed, pendulum-like, on how Eddie's slacks were hugging his butt perfectly with every step he took, tight enough to show off the outline of his underwear. Only the folds didn't sit where Richie had expected them to. Instead, Richie realized, his mouth going dry, that in the absence of boxers, there was only a V-shaped crease running from Eddie's hips to between his asscheeks, which could only mean-

Eddie was wearing a thong.

10. * - I’ll Be Homo For Christmas by Amuly - ~15,000 words, explicit - Bill and Audra get a divorce, so Bill moves into Richie’s house with him. Eddie, watching all of this from New York, where he’s still married to Myra, is super, super ok and fine with it in every way.

Except then Richie started posting.

Just stupid shit, mostly with Bill. It wasn’t even real. Eddie knew Bill wasn’t gay and him and Richie were just fucking around ‘for the ‘gram!’ But the more posts Eddie scrolled past on Richie’s Instagram—

Bill in the kitchen swatting at Richie with a spatula.

Richie and Bill at the pound, Richie rating dogs on adoptability, Richie begging Bill to adopt a dog with him.

Richie in the morning with bedhead, smiling blearily into the camera as Bill…

Well. Eddie couldn’t even remember what stupid thing Bill was supposed to be doing in the background of that photo because his eyes couldn’t get past Richie’s bedhead and shirtless torso, chest hairs creeping up towards his collarbones and the little dip at the base of his throat.

Eddie hadn’t thought he was homophobic. But he must have some unresolved issues with it, because he got a stomachache every time he looked at that photo of Richie. Eddie popped a Tums and resolved to talk about it with his therapist.

11. A High-Five is a Hug You Can Hit by Amuly - ~26,000 words, explicit - This fic shows us times throughout their friendship when Eddie and Richie would invent reasons to touch each other without even knowing why. This author feels the same bone deep conviction about Richie crying during sex that I do, and I greatly appreciate that. Plus, all of their stories are fantastic, including this one.

“You know, one of the symptoms of hypothermia is feeling like you’re warm. So like, your body gets so cold that it gets hot, and then you start taking off your clothes-”

“Bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you, Eddie?” Richie shot back at him without turning around.

“Why don’t you ask your sister how much she liked it last week!” Eddie hollered up at him. Richie just flipped him off without looking. That kinda… bugged Eddie. What the fuck did Richie think he was doing leading up the group with Bill? Why was he stuck back here with Stan? Eddie glanced over at Stan, who was trudging tiredly through the woods alongside him, breath puffing out in little clouds of smoke.

“Okay, Stan?”

Stan glanced over at him, confused. Then he shrugged. “Yeah, fine. Cold.”

“Well that’s better than feeling warm.” And now Eddie was back on track. “Because, if anyone starts feeling warm, they should tell the others immediately. That’s a sign of hypothermia. And we have to warm you up. But you have to do it gradually, you can’t just jump in like, a pot of boiling water-”

12. * - fall apart of stay intact by kaspbrak_kid - ~19,000 words, teen - A more melancholy take on the Christmas fic. This story takes Richie’s self-esteem issues and mental problems and amps them up in a way that feels entirely realistic. The gang comes together to celebrate Christmas, and everyone is walking on eggshells because last Christmas was a bad one for Richie. Also, Eddie moves into the house literally right next to Richie’s, and I find that detail endlessly charming.

“Five minutes ago. I called you, and you didn’t answer. Because you were outside, apparently, fucking...stargazing in December! With no hat on!”

“It’s about the Vitamin D!” Richie says. Now that he’s moved a little, he can really feel the cold—his ears are aching, and his face is numb. “Reflecting off the moon, or something. I have seasonal depression, you know!”

“You have seasonal stupidity,” Eddie mutters, audibly rubbing his hands together. “Just get inside.”

“Yours or mine?” Richie jokes.

Eddie doesn’t get the memo. “Mine, obviously. I’ll make you hot chocolate.”

“Oh,” Richie says, and sits up. “Um. Okay, be right there.”

“Oh, thank god,” Eddie says, and hightails it to his back door, cursing about the cold.

13. evidence of a happier future by lagaudiere - 23,000 words, mature - I am here, leading the Jealous!Eddie revolution. Why aren’t there more fics about this. Have you SEEN Eddie Kaspbrak, can you IMAGINE him jealous? Make this happen, fandom. Anyway, in this one, Richie has a boyfriend back in LA. Eddie has trouble dealing with that as he tries to figure himself out and pick up the pieces of his life post-Derry.

“It’s not gonna be like Mike’s announcement, don’t worry,” Richie says hastily. “And it’s not like, a huge thing, so don’t make it a huge thing. But you guys are like, my best friends, and I just wanted you to know that I’m, uh. Gay.”

He turns up his palms and raises his eyebrows in a gesture that suggests a magician presenting his audience with an empty hat after making the rabbit disappear, and Eddie says, “Are you joking?”

“What? Jesus, no, Eddie.” Richie’s face falls, and Eddie instantly feels guilty. “I’m trying to be sincere here.”

“Sorry,” Eddie says immediately, feeling all of their friends looking at him with reproach. “I was just — if you weren’t, I wouldn’t think you should… joke about it.”

“Well, I am,” Richie says. He sounds slightly put out — and who wouldn’t be, Eddie scolds himself, by that ridiculous response. “I have all the gay credientials. I have a boyfriend, partner, whatever people say. I don’t really tell people because of the whole, stage persona, thing. But yeah.”

“Richie!” Bev’s voice breaks through the awkwardness, and she reaches across the table to squeeze his hand. “Thank you for telling us. Really.”

And the others all join in, a chorus of voices telling Richie they love him and they’re proud of him, and Ben is saying, “I wanna see a picture of the guy!” and Eddie’s throat feels like it’s closing up.

14. The ‘Do Not Fucking Touch Me’ Tour by MellytheHun - ~23,000 words, explicit - It’s Richie’s comeback special, and he makes it a big one. This...isn’t really a comedy show, but the author lampshades that. It’s an excuse to have Richie talk about how much he loves each of his friends individually, and it’s extremely entertaining. Richie doesn’t know that Eddie is in the audience watching it all.

“Hey, uhm… Eddie… he couldn’t reschedule his thing? He - I mean... it… it was really that important?”

She feels awful for him immediately, but not wanting to spoil what would ultimately be a lovely surprise, she tells him, “I’m sorry, Rich. He said it was urgent. He was really sorry about it.”

Her phone buzzes with a text from Eddie right as Richie curses under his breath, missing the noise. She clutches her phone more tightly in her fist, knowing Eddie is wondering where his seat is going to be; she bought him a separate ticket, elsewhere in the theatre, so Richie wouldn’t catch him sitting among them, as he will absolutely, inevitably look over to the Losers for most of the show.

“Okay,” Richie surrenders sadly, “Uh - I guess he’ll see it eventually, right?”

Smiling forlornly at him, she pats his arm, and tells him, “don’t worry, Richie. Your genius will inevitably be forced upon us all.”

He smiles at her, gives her a kiss on the cheek, and when Bill jokingly asks why he didn’t get one, Richie flips him off, and reminds them to treat themselves to the bar in the lobby.

Once he’s backstage, Beverly takes her phone out, and emails Eddie his ticket, explains that she’s already convinced Richie he’s not coming, and to make sure he doesn’t show up too early, or Richie will notice.

15. The List by cissues - ~7000 words, teen - Eddie finds a list he wrote as a teenager. Richie tries his best to fulfill them all. This is very sweet.

‘ All the things I want. Everything I’m not allowed to have. A perfect summer. ”

The words hit gentler than he thought they would, but they still hit and he finds himself blinking away at a wetness at the corner of his eye. He wipes at it and sniffles and Richie peers sidelong at him to make sure he’s okay. He is, he’s fine, and Richie never dotes on him when things are, generally, okay. Only when he needs it, which is one of the many things he loves about what they have now.

“This is… this is like a fucking bucket list for the most repressed child in the world.” Richie says, breathless.

Eddie rolls his eyes to hide the sting. “You’re looking at him,” he says, bitter. Richie frowns at him but turns back to the paper. Another thing Eddie loves, Richie never takes his trauma-induced bait. His knee-jerk reactions developed over years of what he’s now comfortable enough to call abuse.

16. Richie Tozier Answers the Web's Most Searched Questions by DeadpanMage - ~2000 words, teen - This is a short one, but the transcript of this popular YT video format with Richie felt spot on in terms of characterization and Richie’s voice.

[Back to the text screen: “So WIRED asked Richie Tozier some of the internet’s burning questions.” Cut back to Richie, now holding a poster board with several Google autocomplete searches half covered.]

Richie: I’ve undergone something of a rebranding in the past year, so I wonder how many of these questions are going to be super irrelevant-slash-embarrassing. Probably all of them. Let’s get started! [He tears the covering off of the first question.] Alright, that’s not bad. “How to pronounce Richie Tozier?” Well, we’re only on question one and I’ve already said it like a hundred times so there you go. And that’s “Richie Tozier” spelled J-O-H-N M-U-L-A-N-E-Y, so if you’ve got any complaints be sure to send them that way. Next question!

You can check out a larger list of stories I’ve enjoyed in my AO3 bookmarks. And finally, if you’re interested, here are the two fics I’ve written:

1. Waiting For a Sign - ~6000 words, explicit - Eddie meets Richie again and comes to the startling realization that he totally wants to hit that.

Maybe if Richie wasn’t famous, Eddie could have found a way to let it go. A couple furtive jerk off sessions in the shower after he got back to New York and the image of Richie’s big hands and wide smile and improbably flattering stubble would fade from his mind.

But Richie was famous, and the internet never forgot.

Eddie lasted three days before giving in and typing ‘Richie Tozier’ into the YouTube search bar. Just seeing Richie in the thumbnails was enough to make Eddie’s heart thud, what the fuck. He had to scroll past a bunch of news videos about Richie's supposed mental breakdown, but after that he landed on some old stand-up.

Before he clicked on the first video, he got up and made sure that the door of his study was locked. Then he turned off the lights and put on a pair of earbuds.

Fake It ‘Til You Make It - ~21,000 words, explicit - It’s that totally relatable situation where the man you’re secretly in love with is a celebrity who just came out and now needs a fake boyfriend to keep himself in the spotlight. Eddie offers to help out of the goodness of his heart and not because he’s insanely fucking jealous.

Eddie froze, breath catching in his throat.

Richie looked...really good.

Bev’s influence was obvious. His hair, which had been unkempt and shaggy, a perfect match for his stoner permakid schtick, was cut much shorter and neater. His formerly unruly stubble somehow now emphasized the sharp cut of his jaw instead of obscuring it.

He wore new glasses, Eddie noticed. Slim silver metal frames instead of his giant, clunky plastic ones. The fitted black sweater and dark blue jeans were simple, but made his shoulders look impossibly broad and his legs miles long.

Fuck everything and Beverly Marsh in particular.

LINK TO MY FIRST SET OF REDDIE RECS 30+ FICS

#reddie fic #reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #fic recs #it chapter 2 #ao3 #rec list #reddie fic recs

92 notes · View notes

insanityclause · 5 years ago

Link

The Broadway League and the American Theatre Wing have announced that they will present the 2020 Tony Awards this year after all, in a digital format. Details are scarce, but here's what we know: The newly determined cutoff date will be February 19, and therefore, the last two shows to open before the shutdown, West Side Story and Girl From the North Country, will not be eligible (the reason being they didn't invite enough voters to see them), nor will Six, which was supposed to open the night theaters closed.

Still, there are 18 productions and dozens of worthy actors and designers left to get nominated in 26 categories. Here, we look at the performers from the season, and explain the various Tonys rules for categories that may not seem particularly full. For a look at the eligible shows, click here.

Best Actor in a Musical

Eligible Artists:

Chris McCarrell, The Lightning Thief Aaron Tveit, Moulin Rouge!

Yup, there are the only two eligible nominees, which is, as far as I can tell, a first for this category. The closest similarity I could find was in 1970, when three actors were nominated. There's more of a precedence in the Best Actress category — back in 1995, Glenn Close and Rebecca Luker were the only two nominees, with Close winning for Sunset Boulevard (it looks like they deliberately chose not to nominate Megan Mullally that year for How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying), and before that, Gwen Verdon and Miyoshi Umeki went head to head in 1959, with Verdon winning for Redhead.

There are a few options here. They could eliminate the category, which doesn't seem too fair. They could combine it with Best Actress in a Musical and create a nongendered category, which would look admirable and progressive, two qualities that are the complete antithesis of what the Tonys have proved themselves to be year after year, so this probably won't happen.

Or, they could add two more performers who had previously been ruled as featured: Daniel J. Watts, Ike in Tina: The Tina Turner Musical, and Sean Allan Krill, Steve in Jagged Little Pill. But are these leading roles? You can make more of a case for Watts than Krill, and that's where problems may arise.

So unless they revise this previous determinations, combine acting categories, or do away with the whole thing altogether, it looks like either McCarrell or Tveit, both first-time nominees, are taking home their first Tony.

Best Actress in a Musical

Eligible Artists:

Karen Olivo, Moulin Rouge! Elizabeth Stanley, Jagged Little Pill Kristin Stokes, The Lightning Thief Adrienne Warren, Tina: The Tina Turner Musical

There are a variety of Tonys rules when it comes to the number of slots in a category. If there are nine eligible nominees, there will be five slots. If there are fewer than nine, there will be four slots. But I can find nothing about four or fewer eligible nominees (see above), which leads me to believe that if the Tonys keep everything traditional, this will likely be the lineup.

But even if they do combine the Best Actor and Best Actress category, we all know who's probably going to win.

Best Actor in a Play

Eligible Artists:

Ian Barford, Linda Vista Andrew Burnap, The Inheritance Brian Cox, The Great Society Charlie Cox, Betrayal Jake Gyllenhaal, Sea Wall/A Life Tom Hiddleston, Betrayal Samuel H. Levine, The Inheritance Jonathan Pryce, The Height of the Storm Campbell Scott, A Christmas Carol Michael Shannon, Frankie and Johnny in the Clair De Lune Kyle Soller, The Inheritance Tom Sturridge, Sea Wall/A Life

With more than nine potential nominees, this category will have five slots. It's interesting to note that there are three men from The Inheritance here. Back when that was announced, everyone looked at the ruling askance: in a full season, they would probably cancel each other out. But now, all three actors from The Inheritance actually have a great chance of getting nominated.

Still, determinations for Grand Horizons and A Soldier's Play have not yet been made, and we can assume that James Cromwell (Grand Horizons) and Blair Underwood (A Soldier's Play) will land in the leading category, with David Alan Grier, who was also above the title in the latter, being placed in the featured category.

Best Actress in a Play

Eligible Artists:

Zawe Ashton, Betrayal Eileen Atkins, The Height of the Storm Joaquina Kalukango, Slave Play Audra McDonald, Frankie and Johnny in the Clair De Lune Mary-Louise Parker, The Sound Inside Marisa Tomei, The Rose Tattoo

Determinations have not been made for Grand Horizons and My Name Is Lucy Barton, but we can assume that Jane Alexander (Grand Horizons) will be placed in this category, as will Lucy Barton's sole performer, Laura Linney. Even with those two additions, this category only has eight eligible nominees, so there will only be four available slots.

The featured acting categories are where it gets dicey every year, since anyone who's not ruled as a lead can be featured. Therefore, all four featured acting categories have more than 9 potential nominees, so they will each have at least five slots (more if there are ties). Here are many of the options.

Best Featured Actor in a Musical

Eligible Artists:

Danny Burstein, Moulin Rouge! Antonio Cipriano, Jagged Little Pill Jorrel Javier, The Lightning Thief Derek Klena, Jagged Little Pill Ryan Knowles, The Lightning Thief Sean Allan Krill, Jagged Little Pill Tam Mutu, Moulin Rouge! Sahr Ngaujah, Moulin Rouge! James Hayden Rodriguez, The Lightning Thief Ricky Rojas, Moulin Rouge! Daniel J. Watts, Tina: The Tina Turner Musical

As mentioned above, Krill and Watts landed in this category automatically because they're listed below the title. Their respective producers can repetition to have them considered as lead. Without them, it's going to be a Moulin Rouge!-heavy category.

Best Featured Actress in a Musical

Eligible Artists:

Kathryn Gallagher, Jagged Little Pill Celia Rose Gooding, Jagged Little Pill Robyn Hurder, Moulin Rouge! Dawnn Lewis, Tina: The Tina Turner Musical Lauren Patten, Jagged Little Pill Sarah Beth Pfeifer, The Lightning Thief Jalynn Steele, The Lightning Thief Myra Lucretia Taylor, Tina: The Tina Turner Musical Skye Turner, Tina: The Tina Turner Musical

We can see three Jagged nominees and two from Tina to round out the category. Tough call.

Best Featured Actor in a Play

Eligible Artists:

Eddie Arnold, Betrayal Ato Blankson-Wood, Slave Play Grantham Colman, The Great Society James Cusati-Moyer, Slave Play' Emun Elliott, The Rose Tattoo Sullivan Jones, Slave Play John Benjamin Hickey, The Inheritance Paul Hilton, The Inheritance Paul Alexander Nolan, Slave Play Jim True-Frost, Linda Vista Troy West, Linda Vista

This list will exponentially grow when they make determinations for A Soldier's Play and Grand Horizons. We can expect that actors like David Alan Grier, Jerry O'Connell, Nnamdi Asomugha, Billy Eugene Jones, and McKinley Belcher III (A Soldier's Play) and Michael Urie, Maulik Pancholy, and Ben McKenzie (Grand Horizons) will fit in here. Not to mention the remaining male ensemble members of The Inheritance, The Rose Tattoo, and The Great Society.

Best Featured Actress in a Play

Eligible Artists:

LaChanze, A Christmas Carol Chalia La Tour, Slave Play Irene Sofia Lucio, Slave Play Andrea Martin, A Christmas Carol Annie McNamara, Slave Play Sally Murphy, Linda Vista Caroline Neff, Linda Vista Lois Smith, The Inheritance Chantal Thuy, Linda Vista Cora Vander Broek, Linda Vista

This category will also probably include Priscilla Lopez and Ashley Park from Grand Horizons. The nominees can go in any direction, but I'm fully expecting the legendary Lois Smith, who could very well turn 90 before these awards are actually presented (her birthday is November 3), to take home her first-ever, long-overdue Tony.

7 notes · View notes

duncanwrites · 4 years ago

Text

All the books I read in 2020, reviewed in two sentences or less

My 2020 in reading was, naturally, a little strange. I had lots of long pauses, did a bad job of keeping track of everything I read, used an e-reader for the first time, and read more for work than I usually do.

So these may not be in strict chronological order as they usually are, and there may be a few missing, but here’s the list, as per tradition:

Rising Tide - John M. Barry: This history of the Mississippi floods of 1927 and the resulting changes in how the US deals with natural disasters is one of those stories about how politics and personality can become a part of the concrete world, and essential for understanding the racial dynamics of disaster response. Well-told, and worth reading.

The Consultant's Calling - Geoffrey M. Bellman: A very useful recommendation from a trusted friend that now has a long-term spot in my office shelf. This book isn't only about consulting, it also offers great thoughts about finding your place and impact in organizations in general.

Range - John Epstein: I think Range is the nonfiction book that had the second- greatest impact on my thinking about myself this year (stay tuned for number 1!): I've always approached my professional and political work as a generalist, and for a long time I felt like that approach was leading me to a dead end. Reading this convinced me that I could be effective and even more useful with my fingers in a lot of different pies, and nudged me to keep searching for my most effective place in the movement.

The Accusation - Bandi: A harrowing work of realist fiction from North Korea that shows the toll authoritarian hero-worship takes on the soul.

The Underground Railroad - Colson Whitehead: I found that the quality of The Underground Railroad did not quite match its notoriety. It felt like two books awkwardly joined, where the more grounded approach to the emotional and interpersonal stakes of slavery and freedom was attached to a poorly-explored fantasy device.

Maus - Art Spiegelman: So much more than a book about the Holocaust, Maus is about parents and how pain is handed down between generations.

I Love Dick - Chris Kraus: After a long enough time, it becomes hard to evaluate books that are meant as a provocation as well as storytelling, but even 20 years on, it's not hard to see why I Love Dick brought us so much of the style and voice of feminist writing on the internet. A unique, itchy, sticky piece of work.

Bloodchild - Octavia Butler: Whenever I see an Octavia Butler book in a used book store, I buy it. This collection of short stories is a fantastic example for what transgressive, visionary speculative fiction should aspire to.

King Leopold's Ghost - Adam Hochschild: What I love about this book and the other I've read by Hochschild (Bury the Chains_ is that he very carefully merges deep explorations of systems of violence with the way that they can be undone by the people who participate in them. King Leopold's Ghost is as much about Belgium's murderous plunder of the Congo as it is about the successful global movement against it.

Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon: Priory of the Orange Tree is built on a strong foundation, melding Eastern and Western dragon stories into one universe, but couldn't seem to tie all of its threads together in a compelling way by the end.

Desiring the Kingdom - James K. A. Smith: Smith's point about meaning and desire being embedded in every day practices is a valuable one, but I think I may be just too far outside of his target audience of religious teachers and thinkers to get the most out of his explorations here.

City of Brass, Kingdom of Copper, Empire of Gold (The Daevabad Trilogy) - S. A. Chakraborty: This series is exceptional, and some of my favorite books of any kind that I read this year; I certainly think I recommended them more often than anything else I read in 2020. A high fantasy built on Islamic and Arab cultural iconography, the characters are insightfully developed, the world building grows with precise pacing, and the themes of intergenerational trauma, and sectarianism are handled with expert delicacy.

Leadership and the New Science - Meg Wheatley: While I appreciate the effort to apply metaphors developed from scientific paradigm shifts to provoke paradigm shifts of thinking in other areas of work, I think this book strains its chosen metaphors a bit too far to be useful.

The American Civil War: A Military History - John Keegan: I appreciate that there's a value to these kinds of military analyses of conflicts, but I found this book's neutral tone - and sometimes admiring takes - towards the Confederacy off-putting. Two things I did take from it: the outcome of the war was not certain at the beginning, and speed is truly a critical part of winning conflicts.

To Purge This Land with Blood - Stephen Oates: This was the first substantial reading I had ever done about John Brown, and Oates' book made it very clear why he is still one of the American historical figures most worth talking about today. The contradictions, complexities, and unimpeachable truths caught up in his raids are almost too many to name, but I think he is one of the people most worth thinking about when considering what actually changes the world.

Normal People - Sally Rooney: Anyone who denies that this book is anything less than a truly great novel is not telling the truth, or does not actually care about the feelings people feel. It is a work of keen emotional observation, and perfect, tender language, as well as a pleasingly dirty book -- and there is nothing I would change about it.

Conversations With Friends - Sally Rooney: Still a banger, I think Conversations with Friends struggles somewhat to get to its point, and has less of the pleasing depth and ambiguity of Normal People. Still worth your time and attention, I think.

The Glass Hotel - Emily St. John Mandel: I loved Station Eleven, and I can't imagine having to follow it up, and I unfortunately think The Glass Hotel doesn't quite accomplish all it set out to do. It wandered, hung up on a few strong images, but never progressed towards a point that needed to be made, and I finished it feeling underwhelmed.

The Water Dancer - Ta-Nehisi Coates: Coates is an essential nonfiction writer who can turn a phrase to make devastating, memorable points - but I thought his novel failed to do very many of the things that make his nonfiction great.

A Visit From The Goon Squad - Jennifer Egan: Someone once recommended this book to me as a way to study voice in character development - it is certainly that, as well as a brutally efficient window into hope, fame, and aging.

Trick Mirror - Jia Tolentino: The best parts of Trick Mirror show why Jia Tolentino is one of the writers most worth reading today: she knows how to find the experiences and people that wormhole you into dimensions of American culture that you might not otherwise think carefully about. While I think some of the essays in the book are weaker than her usual work, overall it is still terrific, and her essay on Houston rap, evangelical culture, and drugs is one of the best anythings I read all year.

My Dark Vanessa - Kate Elizabeth Russell: I feel like I'm on very shaky ground making any definitive takes about a book like this that is so fundamentally about gendered violence and what it means to be a victim of that violence. But I will say that I think it's important to recognize how power and charisma can be used to make you want something that actually hollows out your soul.

Prozac Nation - Elizabeth Wurtzel: Without a doubt, this is the nonfiction book that had the greatest personal impact on my life in 2020, and I have much longer things I've written about it that I will probably never share. While I've not ever been to the extremes she describes here, Wurtzel describes so many things that I clearly remember feeling that the shock of recognition still hasn't worn off.

The New Jim Crow - Michelle Alexander: In truth, we should all be shaking with rage at the American justice system every single day. This is certainly not the only book to explain why, but it does a particularly good job of explaining both the deep roots, and rapid expansion of the system we need to dismantle.

The Martians - Kim Stanley Robinson: Getting another little taste of the world Robinson built in the Mars Trilogy only made me want to drop everything and read them again. Well-made, but not stand-alone short stories that are worth reading if you've finished the novels and aren't ready to leave the formally-Red yet.

The Wind’s Twelve Quarters - Ursula K. Le Guin: One of the things that makes Le Guin so special is the sparseness of her prose and world building, and her genius is very much evident in her short stories.

Matter - Iain M. Banks: This is the second Culture series book I've read by Banks, and once again I thought it was inventive, satisfyingly plotted, but not so heady to be imposing. A very solid read.

Ogilvy On Advertising - David Ogilvy and Ogilvy On Advertising in the Digital Age - Miles Young: The original Ogilvy on Advertising is frustratingly smug but at least delivers plain and persuasive versions of advertising first principles. Ogilvy on Advertising in the Digital Age is also frustratingly smug, but is mainly useful as an example of the hubris and narcissism of contemporary advertising executives.

Goodbye to the Low Profile - Herb Schmertz: Schmertz was the longtime public affairs director for Mobil Oil, and in this book he talks about how they worked to manage public debate about the oil industry, without realizing that he's writing a confession. Reading this it is abundantly clear how the oil industry's commitment to making deception respectable led to the collapse of the American public sphere.

The Lean Startup - Eric Ries: I was surprised by how much I liked this book, and wish more people who wanted to start political projects would read it. The Lean method is a way of building organizations that are ruthlessly focused on serving their base of supporters, and evaluate their work against real results - and I think we all could use more of those.

Zero To One - Peter Thiel: Another book that reads like a confession when perhaps not intended to, Zero To One's main point is that the point of building businesses should be to build monopolies, and that competition is actually bad. A great starting point for understanding what's gone wrong in America's tech economy.

The Mother of All Questions - Rebecca Solnit: Of the many things to cherish about Solnit as a writer, the one I needed most when I re-read this book is her ability to gently but doggedly show other ways of imagining the world, and ourselves in it.

Native Speaker - Chang-Rae Lee: I think this is the third time I've read this novel, and the time I've enjoyed it the least: somehow on re-re-reading, the core metaphors became overbearing and over-used, and the plot and characters thinner.

Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller: There are several excellent entries in the sub-genre of classic tales re-told from the perspective of silent women characters, but this is the first I've read re-told from a man's perspective - in this case, the likely-lover of Achilles in the Iliad, Patroclus. While not necessarily a groundbreaking work of literature, it is a very well-executed one that tells a compelling story about how violence can destroy men who carry it out.

Uprooted - Naomi Novik: What makes Uprooted so engrossing is that its magical world feels grounded, and political: magic has consequences for the individuals who use it, and further consequences based on their place in the world. What makes it frustrating is the overwhelming number of things the author has happening in the story, and the difficulty they have bringing them to a conclusion.

#books #reading #booklist

3 notes · View notes