#you are either god's gift to your team or you're god's punching bag of the day

[strange-big-earner]

>be me

>had the best spy moment, top scoring

>trickstabbing god

>"can't wait to put that in a video"

>checks obs

>forgot to start recording

>mental anguish

[static-errorcode]

part two

featuring

@the-random-creechur, me, @darkleafblack, @toffeechad, @bobateablue, @sleepypillowynight, @demondevilevil, @smoken-bagel, @phobiiii, @coolkiwiyummy, @woodrocko

Pillowy: HELP! I TOLD DEMON I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!

Phobiii, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Static: Get in, loser, we’re committing vehicular manslaughter!

Beanie: You've been given a new job to do, but I'm worried it might make you angry.

Phobiii: Just say it quick, like ripping off a band-aid.

Beanie: You have to teach Bagel how to drive.

Phobiii: ...put the band-aid back on.

Demon: Happy birthday Pillowy! I'm your gift!

Pillowy, whispering to Slimebottle : Did you get the receipt, or do I have to keep them?

Pillowy: Help! I’m drowning!

Phobiii: Calm down. We’re only in six feet of water!

Pillowy: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

*While the Squad is in a battle*

Slimebottle , trying to warn about the location of an enemy: To the left!

Static: Take it back now y'all!

Pillowy: What's two plus two?

Slimebottle : Math.

Pillowy: ...I will accept that answer.

Demon: What kinds of sounds annoy you?

Bagel: Are we talking real sounds or imaginary ones?

Demon, now interested: Lets say imaginary.

Bagel: Spiders wearing flip flops.

Static: You're pathetic!

Nightmare berry: You're pathetic-er!

Kiwi : You're both losers.

Bagel: Good morning!

Bobatea, checking their watch: Correct.

Bobatea: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Pillowy's birthday invitations.

Static: Well, what are they supposed to say?

Bobatea: "Pillowy's birthday".

Static: So, what do they say instead?

Bobatea: "Pillowy’s bi".

Static:

Static: Works out either way.

Bobatea, texting Static: Static! Help I'm being kidnapped!

Static: Where are you?

Bobatea: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Static: I'll call Demon. Demon, answering their cell: Y'ello?

Static: Where's Bobatea? They texted me that they were being kidnapped.

Demon: Demon? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me-

Demon: Demon: I'll call you back. *Hangs up*

Demon: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD!

Bobatea: WHO ARE YOU!?

Bagel: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong?

Slimebottle : Strong.

Beanie: Weak.

Phobiii: An idiot, is what your are.

Static: Can we go out to get icecream?

Phobiii: Did you ask Slimebottle ?

Static: They said no.

Phobiii: Then why did you ask me?

Static: They're not the boss of you.

Phobiii, internally: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap.

Phobiii: *is visibly upset*

Pillowy: Phobiii, what happened? I haven't seen you like this since you found out candyland wasn't an actual country.

Pillowy: Did you wash the dishes?

Demon: I thought you wanted to do that...

Pillowy: *chuckles* You were WRONG.

Phobiii, handing out popsicles: Which flavor do you want?

Pillowy: Blue flavor!

Phobiii: Uh, you mean Blue Raspberry?

Pillowy: Blue flavor! Blue flavor!

Phobiii: Blue is not a flavor!

Pillowy: BLUE FLAVOR!

Bobatea to Slimebottle : Turn that frown upside-down!

*a little while later*

Bobatea: What are you doing?

Slimebottle , trying to do a handstand: You told me to “turn that frown upside-down” but it’s not working .

Bagel: Why does my arm shake and turn bright red when I’m eating dirt?

Beanie:

Beanie: Why are you eating dirt?

Bagel: Did I ask you if I should eat dirt? No, so answer my question.

Mp: Oh my Static.

Nightmare berry: Don't you mean 'oh my god'?

Mp: You worship your god, I'll worship mine.

Static: Beanie is so...

Kiwi : Annoying?

Slimebottle : Cute? Bagel: Funny?

Demon: Weird?

Static: I don't know, maybe if y'all let me FINISH for ONCE IN MY LIFE, I'd tell you!

Slimebottle : Pose as a team because SHIT JUST GOT REAL!

Pillowy: When I see initials carved into a tree with a heart I think it’s so romantic. Two lovers on a date... one of them carrying a knife for some reason.

Mp: What is wrong with you?

Pillowy: Many, many things...

Pillowy: And most of them are your fucking fault.

Demon: Phobiii doesn’t look very happy.

Beanie: That's their happy. They're just a bitch.

Pillowy: But that place is haunted.

Nightmare berry: Ghosts prey on fear. Just be confident!

Pillowy, marching into the haunted house I AM NOT SCARED! I AM NOT A PUSSY!

The end

[marvelxwinchester]

B is for Baby

B is for Baby Booties

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader, Avengers x Reader

Summary: You and Steve have been trying to have a baby for a year when finally those two little pink lines make an appearance.

Word Count: 1,526

Warnings: Fluff, Tears of Happiness, and some swearing

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It had been a few days since you had found out you were indeed pregnant and since then Peter had not stopped hovering around you. Everywhere you went there he was, the only time he wasn't with you was when you went to the restroom or when you went to bed.

Natasha and Wanda were more stubble about it, making sure when you all went down to train the only things you were doing were the punching bags and treadmill to an extent. And of course when they all spared to make sure no one cheated.

That was until of course Steve and Bucky had gotten back from their mission and the three of them then began to set up the plan.

It was a cold March morning when the two arrived back at the tower, their mission was a success without any casualties.

Of course, when the jet had landed you were the first one to greet the two men. Pulling your husband into a hug and then your friend glad both were safe.

The entire time you had a giant smile on your face excited about the news you were going to give, it took everything in you not to scream it from the rooftops as it is.

After the two were showered and changed they joined the rest of you in the common room to chill for a bit.

You had cuddled into Steve's side on the loveseat while the others had thrown on a movie deciding to have a lazy day which you totally were up too.

Halfway through the movie, you were hit with the sudden craving of pickles and pizza. The thing with that was you didn't just want regular old pickles you wanted pickles covered in peanut butter.

You ignored it for a few more minutes until you stood up making Steve look up at you as you did.

" Where are you going doll?" He asked as you began to walk.

" To get some grub, " You replied before stepping over Tony's outstretched legs.

Tony jerked his leg up a bit trying to make you stumble but Natasha's glare made him put it back down.

" Come on Female Rogers just because you're married to an old man doesn't mean you get a free pass to be slow, " Tony said as you blocked his view from watching the action movie he had seen hundreds of times.

Your head snapped up and in his direction narrowing your eyes to the point they were slits.

" What did you just say?" You asked glaring at the Billionaire.

Tony rolled his eyes and mumbled under his breath, " You've lost your hearing too, next thing you know we'll have to get you a walker. "

" What the fuck did you just say to me Stark? No need to mumble were all open-minded and friendly. Go on, " You said fuming at this point.

" Y/n sit down I'll get whatever you need, " Peter said standing from his own chair.

" No, I can get it myself, Peter, " You snapped at him turning your glare to him as well.

He sat back down with a nod, " Alright."

With that, you walked out of the theatre room into the kitchen getting into the cheese pizza on the island, then moved to the refrigerator where the big pickles were, and then finally to the cabinets where the peanut butter was.

You let out a happy sigh as you gathered all of the items before walking back into the room. The movie was at a very tense scene so, like any pissed off female you knew would you slowly walked in front of Tony purposely.

As soon as Tony's eyes landed on what you were carrying in your hands he let out a gag, " What the hell are you eating and why those items together?"

You turned towards the man with narrowed eyes as he paused the movie allowing everyone to look at what you had concocted.

Everyone's eyes widened and some wore faces of either amusement or disgust or even both.

" Lady Y/n, " Thor called cautiously looking at the items, " Is that even edible?"

You turned your gaze to the Norse God before giving him a sweet smile, " Yes Thor it is, don't worry."

"Yeah right, you're going to end up with food poisoning Y/n! Just eat the pizza and have the spiderling take the pickles and peanut butter back."

You turned towards Clint and narrowed your eyes as you had at Tony, " Watch it Bird Shit or I will not hesitate to snap your arrows, before shoving them up your ass so far up you'll be sneezing pieces of them for the rest of your God damn life."

The group of Avengers looked at you in shock. You weren't a violent person unless you were seriously ticked off or if someone was threatening your family.

This was completely out of character for you and no one had ever seen you this pissed off.

You let out a sigh before looking back at the archer, " I'm sorry for snapping at you Clint."

He gave a nod, " It's fine Y/n."

You gave a nod and continued back to the couch where you were sitting and opened everything as the movie began again.

Snuggling back up into Steve you let out a sigh and began to eat your "snack" and before long you were out like a light.

Once the movie was over Steve gently lifted you up and walked out of the theatre room to the elevator then exited on your floor. As he stepped out he headed towards your bedroom and gently laid you on the bed, as he started to move away you grabbed his hand gently.

Sleepily you raised your head and looked at him, " I have a present for you."

He was confused for a second because it wasn't his birthday or your anniversary but decided not to question it and sat down.

" And my I acquire as to why I am being given a gift?" He asked with a smile moving a piece of hair out of your face.

" Nope, " You said popping the 'p' before getting up and moving towards your closet, grabbing the yellow bag that held his gift.

Sitting back down you handed him the little baggie that had a small sun on it that was smiling. Steve smiled at you then at the little bag before looking back up at you.

" Well, what are you waiting for?" You asked him with an excited grin, " Open it!"

That was all he needed before he gently removed the purple tissue paper setting it aside so it could be dealt with afterward.

Looking into the bag he let out a small gasp before his head shot up and his eyes met yours.

" No." He said his eyes wide as he looked from inside the bag to you then to your stomach.

" Yes, pull them out." You said nodding.

Still, in shock, Steve reached inside the bag and pulled out two sets of hand knitted baby booties one pink pair and one blue pair that had a note attached to it.

" Read it!"

Steve nodded and gently pulled it from the booties before reading it out loud.

"You're already a superhero and a good one at that but every superhero needs a sidekick no matter how small! Lucky for you in nine months yours will be arriving!"

His voice cracked at the end and he looked up at you his blue eyes shining with tears.

" How far are you...?" He asked putting a hand on your stomach.

" Banner says about two months, " You replied watching as the tears finally began to fall from his lashes making you tear up as well.

" I'm going to be a dad?" He asked his voice wavering.

" Yes Steve, " You said finally letting your tears loose as well, "You're going to be a Dad finally."

He let out a laugh and pulled you into a hug grinning ear to ear, " I'm going to be a Dad!"

" Shh!" You said looking at him, " Only you, Banner, Nat, Peter, and Wanda know the rest don't."

" Wait how do Peter, Natasha, and Wanda know?" He asked.

" They were there when I found out, " You explained watching as he nodded.

" When are we going to tell the others?" Steve asked as he set the booties back into the bag and laid back with you.

" Soon, I had a few ideas I think would be good..."

And so with that, you began to plan on how you were going to tell the rest of the team that you were having a baby.

Soon though you fell into a peaceful sleep dreaming about the little human you and Steve had created, and how excited you were about finally being a Mother.