#you are not morally superior for not owning a fucking razor.

[voidimp]

really not loving this trend lately of acting like shaving makes you a disgrace to the whole fucking queer community

like we really went from "not shaving is totally fine and good, body hair is completely natural & not gross" (correct) to "shaving is disgusting and unnatural, why would you do that to you body" (hmmm sounds kinda familiar) & even "its literally impossible to have dysphoria or sensory issues due to body hair/want to shave for any reason other than to appeal to patriarchal beauty standards & anyone who says they do is lying" (real, actual things i have seen people say, what in the god damn)

you can shave your face you can shave your head but as soon as its below the neck suddenly shaving is some sort of unforgivable crime. god forbid someone doesnt like the way it feels when their clothes rub against every little fucking hair. god forbid they dont like how it holds in sweat. god forbid they dont like how it holds in heat. god forbid they dont fucking like how it looks on them.

like. is the word "choice" not in peoples fucking vocabulary or something

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #271

“some of those who work forces are the same that burn crosses.”

Do you cook on the stove at all, or just microwave? I just use the microwave. I'm scared of the stove lmao. Do you ever debate religion with your friends? Bruuuh no. I am so disinterested in debating about something that to me ultimately doesn't matter yet humanity has made so serious. Whatever happens after we die, happens, there's that. Just be a decent human being and go out knowing you did your best to make the world better than when you entered it. Do you keep your shampoo in the shower or someplace else? In the shower. Something your mother said or did that shocked you: Like... recently? Or in my entire life? I dunno about recently, but I guess the most shocking to me was when she vehemently called my sister something I won't repeat. Did your mom go to college? She was before the cancer. Ready to graduate, too, but that didn't go as planned thanks to, y'know, cancer. Which food do you think you have the most cans of in your cupboard? Good question, no clue. I don't really pay attention to the canned foods. Maybe fruits? Do you save fortunes from fortune cookies? No. Are you offended when Christmas is spelled Xmas? Nah. Where do you put your keys when you come home? In my purse. Describe your favorite mug or glass to drink from? I don't have one. That I use, anyway. Sara gave me a Markiplier quote one that's a Holy Item on my shelf and instead of holding a beverage holds All My Love. Your bad habit that you love the most: UGH I hate how much I love soda. Invent a pop tart flavor: STORY TIME!!!! As a kid, there was this contest to design a type and you won like... a fucking huge supply of the newest flavor, which was at the time that wild berry whatever thing. My sister and I made one that I think I recall being pink with heart sprinkles and strawberry flavored, and we won. Guess who fucking hates the wild berry flavor now lmao. Okay but anyway if I was to invent one now... is there a BLUE raspberry flavor? Cuz a bitch loves blue raspberry flavored everything. Do you name your pets after tv/movie/book characters: Sometimes. I don't currently have a pet that is, though. Are you proud of yourself for what you've accomplished? The few things I actually have, sure? I'm more ashamed of what I haven't. Do you own any sexy lingerie? Nooooo no one would want to see me in that, least of all myself lmao. Have you ever caught a bouquet of flowers at a wedding before? No. Has a horse ever neighed at you before? Uhhh I don't think so? Do you prefer ice cream or sorbet? Ice cream. Have you gotten your pets spayed? My cat is. That's like... the only pet we ever have fixed, sadly. My parents/Mom (depending on time period) could just never afford it. The only real reason we managed to get Roman neutered was because our sister directed us to a cheap on-the-go business where it was like... only $45, and Roman was marking the house badly so it was pretty urgent. Would you ever take in a stray animal? HA, that is the STORY of my family with cats. At this current time, most likely not. We don't need another pet right now, nevermind one of a mysterious background with my mom being sick. When is payday? N/A Have you ever walked on a runway before? No. How long is your workday? N/A Is there a walkway or a pathway to your front door? No. What is your favorite color? What is your least favorite color? Pink is superior to all colors. I'm really not a puke-green fan, but I mean... is anyone? What color dominates your wardrobe? Everything is B L A C K. What color are your eyes? Grayish blue. Are you colorblind, or do you know anyone who is? I'm not, but Jason's brother is colorblind to I think red and blue? Do you prefer color photos or black-and white? It greatly depends on the composition and subject matter of the photograph. I find great beauty in both. If I had to pick though, color usually appeals to me more. Are you one of those people who can taste, feel, or smell colors? No. Have you ever seen a double rainbow before? Yes. Do you enjoy coloring? It tends to be my least-favorite part of the art process because that's where I always fuck shit up. Do you know anyone who is racist? Oh my, PLENTY. Welcome to the South. Are your nails painted any color(s) right now? They never are. Can you lift more than 100lbs? I probably CAN, but it would be very hard. What's your opinion on incest? It's fucking repulsive. Morally and negative from a scientific standpoint, anyway. Do you have a favorite color for cats? Orange. What video games did you play when you were younger? I was a massive gamer as a kid, teenager too, so I could put a hell of a lot here. But, I'll just imagine you're referring to when I was quite young. The Spyro games (save for Skylanders) were my LIFE, I loved Nintendogs, the Crash Bandicoot trilogy, lots of games that were based on movies (like Madagascar and Finding Nemo are two I really enjoyed), uhhh... OH! And absolutely weird, but I loved hunting games. Like, I had a whooole lot, despite hating real life hunting even as a child. I think it was because I got to see wild animals, plus it could be calming to wander and scary, too, when things like wolves found you. Oh, and then there were fishing games, too. LOOK I just love(d) games. Would you ever get a tramp stamp? I hate that nickname. Having a tattoo literally anywhere does not equate you to a stereotype. Yes, because I want to be heavily tattooed anyway. Did you cry when Michael Jackson died? No. Not that I didn't care at all, I just wasn't a giant fan. What's the ugliest species of animal? Lmao how mean. The blobfish immediately comes to mind, though. Looks like a ball of mucus shaped into an old man's face. Are you embarrassed about any songs on your iPod? I used to be, now it's just like whatever. I like what I like. What do you use to listen to music on the computer? YouTube. Do people know a lot about you? Places on the Internet sure do lmao. I try to be much more private now online to a degree, depending on where. Irl, no. I'm too easily embarrassed/afraid of being judged for what makes me, me. Who was the last person you slept beside? Sara. Do you like Metallica? They're one of my all-time favorites and I trust NOBODY who claims to hate them. What's your favorite kind of soup? I'm not a fan of soup. What’s your best friend's favorite band? Her all-time favorite is Pink Floyd. Who was the last person you took a picture with? Ummm idr. Do you play Guitar Hero? Not really anymore, but I fuckin slayed that shit back in the day. Whose house did you last visit? My older sister's. Who was the last person to come to your house? My younger sister. What time do you usually eat dinner? Anywhere between 5:30 to like... 7:00 or so. Have you ever searched your own house on Google Earth? Not this current one, no. Does it bother you when people have a loose grip on hugs? No? Some people don't like hugs. Are you looking forward to next year? I don't know. Is covid gonna be history by then? It depends on a lot of things. What have you done so far this summer? *blink blink blink* What's your favorite punk band? Honestly, I don't even really separate bands by genres now because I don't know. There's so so many, plenty overlap, etc. etc, and people - especially those who enjoy rock/metal stuff, I've found - get all snobbish and "WELL ACTUALLY" when you "misgenre" or whatever. Which is better: cold or hot weather? COLD. FUCK hot weather. Anything above ~75*F is disgusting. Is photography something you enjoy? I'm an aspiring photographer so like- What’s the best flavor snow cone? I haven't had a legit snow cone in years... but we have a place called Pelican's Snowballs, which is really just like... snow cones in a cup? They are A M A Z I N G and strawberry is to die for. When driving, are you a speed demon or do you drive like your grandmother? I don't drive because I'm terrified to. Have you ever met someone who just had you at hello? No. Bet you were expecting "Jason," but no, I was weirded out that a stranger just comes up to me in the hall on the way to class and starts talking to me. Have you ever written poetry? Yeah. Do you have any addictions? Technology, ugh. And soda, rip. When was the last time you just laid and looked at the stars? Laid, many years ago one summer when Jason and I were just lying on the trampoline while my dad was grilling. What song reminds you of an ex? A lot. What color eyeliner do you prefer? Black. What was the last thing that you made with your own two hands? Like, made from scratch? Hell if I know. What’s the deepest water you will wade into? Like, shoulder-deep in the ocean. How many blades does your razor have? Three, I think? Highest grade of education you’ve completed? Just one semester of college. Lowest grade you’ve received on a test? Yikes, Fs in college math. He taught in such an abstract way that I failed like... every test, or nearly did. I was too afraid to ask questions continuously. Do you enjoy sitting in the sun or the shade more? There is NO situation where I would rather be in the sun. Do you enjoy going to arcades? Hell yeah. What parades do you like to go to? None. When’s the last time you went on a tirade? I ranted to Mom about the fucking ridiculous anti-maskers that are a big reason this motherfucking pandemic is worsening in America. With my mom being immunocompromised, it is something I take VERY goddamn seriously. It's not a difference in opinion - it's a difference in morality. Do you like to play charades? I loved to as a kid. Now it'd feel weird. Would you ever lead a crusade? I wouldn't want to lead anything. Have your parents ever forbade you from doing something? Aha, so as a kid, I had a game demo disc that showed the preview to Parasite Eve, and my sisters and I would secretly watch it despite it scaring us to where Mom did forbid us to click on it. And all these years later, I've played it and love it... ha ha. Otherwise, my parents have always been pretty open to letting us do stuff, save for things the usual parent doesn't like, like swearing. When’s the last time someone said something degrading to you? A few days back when I got into an argument on Facebook about some asshole teasing their newly-hatched cobra to where it kept striking at the tongs, hood flared and all. Apparently I had no idea what I was talking about, pointing out the snake was clearly stressed out. What’s the last homemade dish you’ve made? I legit haven't cooked a thing since Sara was here and I made her eggs for breakfast. Which was like, a year ago. Do you like lemonade? What flavor(s)? Broooo YES. Pink lemonade is better, but I enjoy just the classic kind, too. Has anyone ever serenaded you before? Fuck this question. Would you like to visit the Everglades? Lemme see them motherfuckin GATORS. Have you ever attended a masquerade ball before? No. Would be dope, though. Have you lost anyone to AIDS? No, thank god. Have you ever been paid for sex? Hell no. Have you ever had a maid in your home before? HUNNY we are too poor for that shit. Do you know how to do different types of braids in hair? No. When’s the last time you wore a Band-aid? Where and why? I have no clue. When was the last time you were afraid? Of what? A family friend was over here a couple days ago and she had this weirdest muscle cramp in her leg that brought her to the floor gasping for like over a minute. I was super scared, and Mom was too, as we had no idea what to do. I almost had to call 911. Crazy woman hasn't gone to the doctor about it, to my knowledge. Would you ever consider growing your hair out to your waist, or longer? NOOOO NO NO. I am probably having short hair for the rest of my life. Is there anywhere in your house that you're scared to be alone in? No. What is your favorite shoe brand? I don't have one. What weird things did you do as a small child? I was just a weird kid in general. I did a lotta stuff that would make people raise a brow. Who puts the most pressure on you in your life? My goddamn self. Do you laugh off embarrassing moments? Hell no, I turn red as a cherry and probably cry once I'm in private. Do you have a favourite actor/actress? If so, who? No. Do you like little kids, or do they annoy you? I feel uncomfortable around them. They're too brutally honest, I feel like every move I make is wrong, and I just generally feel incapable of handling them properly. Do you want a small or a large family when you get older? Well, I don't want any kids, so... Are you a good dancer? If not, do you enjoy dancing anyways? No and no. I'd be embarrassed. Have you ever lied to avoid getting into trouble? Yeah. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital for a long period of time? I'd say two weeks is pretty long, and I was supposed to stay an entire month. I only got out of that by going to court. Do you take a lot of pictures of yourself, or are you camera shy? I HATE being in front of the camera. What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger? And do you prefer gas or charcoal grilling? I just like ketchup, mustard, and pickles, really. A bit of diced onion is fine, too. I prefer gas; I hate the charcoal-y taste. You are chosen to have lunch with the president. the condition is you only get to ask one question. What do you ask? Fuck that, I'd decline going to begin with. What is your concession stand must-have at the movies? Popcorn, of course. Which do you dislike most: pop-up ads or spam email? Pop-up ads. How long was it from ‘the first date’ until the proposal of marriage? How long until the wedding? N/A What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other? Probably like, wrestling. Golf. Sports in general. How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test? I haven't tried it yet. If you had to have the same topping on your vanilla ice cream for the rest of your life, what topping would you choose? I always just use chocolate syrup. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator, or stuck in traffic? CHRIST, TRAFFIC. Elevators kinda scare me and I'm very scared of being stuck in one. What are you sitting on right now? My bed. Are you listening to anything? Halocene's cover of "Killing In The Name." Have you parents ever hated one of your boyfriends/girlfriends? No. Who was the last person to give you money? I have no idea. Have you ever dreamed of someone you barely know? Actually yeah. Weird as hell. When was the most recent time, if ever, that you felt “impostor syndrome,” or that you felt unqualified to be somewhere? Hm. I suppose when I went to the doctor by myself for my foot. I'd never done an appointment without Mom at all, and I was veeery clueless to a lot of steps, questions, etc. What are some ways that pop culture has helped you learn historic or scientific facts? Some TV shows, I guess. Or games, even. Have you ever had a job in which you felt that you had nothing to do? What was the protocol in that situation (e.g., surfing the web, taking on the job of co-workers, or pretending to work)? If you have not, do you think it would be lucky or unlucky to have such a job? No. I was expected to always be doing something. I'd consider that to be pretty unlucky, as it sounds boring and pointless. Have you ever intimidated or made another person feel legitimately threatened? If not, do you think that you could ever be seen as scary? I don't know. Mom has admitted me yelling has scared her before, though. I can yell pretty fucking loudly. But she herself never felt threatened. And do I think I could be seen as scary? Yes. Especially given my chronic fucking nightmares that almost always involve confrontation. In what ways do you or would you need to be validated by a partner? (For example, liking your posts/talking about you on social media, or perhaps by doting on you with gifts.) I am VERY much a "words of affirmation" person. I NEED reassurance that I'm adequate and sincerely loved. When you are having a hard time emotionally, what are some of the telltale ways that you act out or that your personality reflects your struggles? I become very snappy and more reclusive than usual. I cry really easily. Do you tend to succeed by weaning yourself off of something or by quitting cold turkey? It depends on what it is, but I've generally needed to wean myself off of things when necessary. Is there a specific type of pet breed/size/etc. that you don’t want? Why not? I am very turned off by animal breeds/types that are subject to serious health issues, such as pugs, dachsunds, Persians, spider ball pythons... Just don't fucking breed them. Ironically, some of these are the cutest, but I care far more about the health of the animal. Have you ever lived in a notoriously dangerous area? If not, would it bother you to do so? Yes and yes. Has a friend’s significant other ever interfered with or damaged your friendship? What about a significant other of yours damaging a friendship? I don't believe so, no. What, if anything, is something that you put pressure on yourself about? What do you imagine would happen if you did not live up to this expectation? Getting a job, for Heaven's sake, and actually managing to keep it. I've proven inept in this area so far, so, I've already failed that. :^) If you have been in a serious relationship, have you and your partner ever discussed lifetime plans that clashed? Did you reconcile them or did you break up? If you have not been in a relationship, what are some issues that would be deal-breakers? Jason and I kinda casually talked about kids early in our relationship, at which time I didn't see myself wanting them at all and he did at some point. It didn't really bother either of us, though; it was something we'd figure out if we actually got anywhere. Then he became the only person I could ever imagine myself having kids with. Life's funny.

[darrowsrising]

Everyone is like “victra vs Virginia” but what about victra vs seraphina?? Never thought of this one??

I hate the Victra vs. Virginia, because they are on the same team, despite their differences and because it reaveals the ugly and mysoginistic side of the fandom - as if a woman is better than another woman based of stupid criterias like fighting ability, intelligence, etc.

Yes, I know that Victra is a better combatant than Virginia, but that doesn't make either of them better or worse than the other as an over all human being.

Yes, I know Virginia is a genius, but that doesn't make her better or worse than Victra, as a human being.

The so called fans simply put them against each other, because they want to see a cat fight. They can't accept that women come in all shapes and sized and can be multi-faceted and as different as the night and day, yet they can be on the same team, they can love each other, they can be friends.

No, they just have to establish who is better. Victra is better than Virginia at some things and viceversa. But that is not enough, someone has to be superior, usually their fave.

That doesn't happen to Darrow and Adrius, although they are polar opposites of each other in many ways.

The good part of the fandom will occasionally say that Cassius is better than Darrow, but that is because Darrow admitted that Cassius is a better man, a more honourable one. Yet, that is a pretty fair assessment compared to what happens with the Victra vs. Virginia phenomenon. They say of Darrow that is a better fighter, they say of Cassius that he is a better man, yet no one says that one is better than the other one is superior to the other. In fact, the fandom worships their bromance. They respect their relationship and do not turn them into objects and say things like 'mine is better than yours' (because that is basically what the aforementioned phenomenon does). They compare qualities, personality traits in a good constructive way, because they are friends.

So, when I see that the above is happening (a relationship between two people with a lot of differences is treated with respect), I truly can't take seriously the people who disrespect Victra and Virginia's relationship with all its bumps and bruises. They were never rivals, to be truthful, least of all for Darrow's attention. They had their arguments, truth, but that was not out of a sense of hatred or competition. So why people treat them like the usual trope of hot female rivals is beyond me.

Oh, and the who is the better woman, based on morality?...that is smoked af and please destroy it already. I know Darrow admitted that Cassius was more honourable than him, but don't treat it like it is the single most important quality that makes people better or worst at the end of the day. It was honour that held Cassius under Octavia's wing and it was honour that turned him against her. Every quality can go two ways.

Also, both Victra and Virginia did morally grey things in their lives, so please, just let this phenomenon die already. If I hear one more thing about Pierce switching their moral codes and making them ooc to make one look better than the other, I will burn this thing myself. No such thing happened!

Point is, you can compare the two, why not? But to make it sound like one is better than the other for their qualities/flaws is awful. Using things to prop uo one in the detriment of the other is just...why? Why would you do tht when they are on the same damn team?

Back to your question: Why not Seraphina vs. Victra? Because Sera is not in Victra's league. Victra is as glorious as a goddess of war and Sera is just a glory seeking, arrogant youngling who died relatively quick after her first Iron Rain. She was pretty capable as a fighter, I mean she almost killed Cassius, but she truly can't messure up to Victra, it is not even fair. There is also the age difference that explains why Victra has accomplished so much and Sera so little, but over all, I doubt as obssessed with glory as Sera can beat Victra in combat. Or as a leader.

Of course, things can intervene in combat, for example, Cassius dueled plenty of people before Sera and he wasn't in his best shape. But Victra, although we don't know the status of her razor skills against the Shadowfall style, can't be fucked with.

As a leader...Victra commanded legions and later fleets when Sera was in her nappies. She is a buissnesswoman and a great one at that. Seraphina hasn't earned her fleets by the time she is sent to Mercury. So that is a no brainer.

Personality wise...I prefer Victra, but to each their own.

I think Sera is stealthier, but Victra is more cunning and more experienced and when people have people to protect or to turn back to, they are usually stronger than those obssessed with glory. Not to mention that Victra is in her prime, while Sera hasn't reached full potential.

So yeah, not truly fair.

I raise you these, though, why not: Sevro vs. Cassius, Screwface vs. Sevro, Dido vs. Julia, Virginia vs. Atalantia, Virginia and Victra vs. Dido and Julia, Diomedes vs. Ajax, Lysander vs. Pax, Pax vs. Adrius II, Thraxa vs. Volga, Volga and Lyria vs. Thraxa and Rhonna.

Howl on!

[exxxceed]

Drabble

Because pride was a fragile thing. And Credo obviously knew that.

His eyes narrowed into nasty little slits and he didn’t care that the world around him blurred with it. He’d never wanted to lash out at Credo before – not really – but this lecture was walking a fine, fine between brotherly affection and goddamn condescension.  He’d never been disciplined in front of the others before; it was against Order protocol – somethin’ about morale – but there was definitely some sorta stick up Credo’s ass and Nero was half-tempted to rip the goddamn thing out and beat him with it.

The others had been dismissed before it had got that far.

“Recklessness like that is what gets people killed, Nero!” His brother drove the words home as if he were wielding a weapon.

A step back – Credo was closing the distance and Nero didn’t like it. “I got the job done, didn’t I?” he spat, words squeezing tightly through clenched and bared teeth. “Nobody hurt. Nobody killed. Just a pile of fuckin’ demon corp–…”

“You will respect your superiors!”

“Fuck you!”

Nero stood his ground this time as Credo approached, squared shoulders connecting hard with the stone chamber wall as Credo grabbed him by the lapel and shoved him angrily against it. His own arms lifted and shoved defensively against Credo’s chest, but his brother had the size, height and strength that he’d yet to grow into, and it was useless.

The silence filled the chamber like an echo and eventually Credo let go, taking only a single step back – not enough for Nero to comfortably push away from the wall. Not yet.

“I have lost count of the amount of excuses I have made for you, Nero. The amount of times your behaviour has been swept under the rug. There is a reason nobody wants to work with you.”

Nero sneered. “Doesn’t bother me.”

“Well it should!” Credo’s eyes were almost glowing in the flickering torchlight. “You are vulnerable on your own.”

“I’m n–…”

“You are sixteen! You are a child.”

Nero bristled, his hackles well and truly raised. “I can take care of myself!” he snapped, lifting his chin in a very visible show of defiance. “I proved that today.”

Credo raised a hand and pinched the bridge of his nose, finally turning and widening the gap between them. Nero relaxed a little and moved away from the wall. He didn’t like feeling cornered. Not when he couldn’t fight back.

“If you can’t take orders, Nero… I will have no choice but to revoke your position as Holy Knight.”

And now it was Nero’s turn to advance, voice much less certain this time. “You can’t do that.”

“It is within my power. I can and I will, unless you learn to listen to what you are told.”

“Your orders are bullshit, Credo!” His voice was calm but far from agreeable. “And if you kick me out I’ll just keep fighting demons, anyway. I don’t need a fancy fuckin’ title. I’m not doin’ it for the church and you know that!”

Credo sighed. “Nero…”

“So fine. I’m out, right?” he went on, throwing up arms wide in an unconvincing display of nonchalance. “I don’t even care. I’m fighting these assholes for mom and dad and you ca–…”

“Nero!” The word was loud, Credo’s voice strained and furious. “If mother and father were alive to see you today they’d be ashamed. Even more ashamed than I. Your behavior is reckless at best and down-right dangerous at worst. The amount of innocent lives you are putting on the line every week. Every day. Attitudes like yours are the very reason mother and father are dead. If he hadn’t…”

Things... sort of faded out from there. If there were more words after that, Nero didn’t hear them. Everything in his body had come to a crashing, grinding halt and he could almost feel every gear rusting solid.

He didn’t realize he’d been staring at the floor until he suddenly lifted his head. Credo wasn’t moving, but his expression was cold. And Nero didn’t know what else he should have expected.

When he spoke this time, his voice was hoarse; barely there. “That… that’s not fair.” He found that was all he could say. It wasn’t fair. It was a dirty move and Nero couldn’t think of a counter. His throat suddenly felt like razor wire as he swallowed and he scrunched up his nose as the corners of his eyes started to burn

A dirty, dirty move.

“You are dismissed.”

He frowned, eyes lifting only far enough to glare at Credo through the blur of vicious, chest-crushing emotion. “I don’t even care…”

His voice cracked like a sheet of ice and faded before he’d even finished speaking.

“Go home, Nero.”

Another order.

He dug his nails into his palms, turned and trudged heavily out of the hall, intent on finding…. something… and killing it. And as he walked, legs suddenly heavier than lead, he felt the gulf between them widen.

[yourbruisewontheal]

Hi! Thank you for purchasing the audiobook of "How to Ruin Your Life, for Fun and Profit",

As read by the author, Neil Hilborn.

So, you wanna be unhappy?

You probably think that you need to be in pain to be an interesting person - and you're right!

People who "care" about you will tell you that you don't need to suffer to be important,

But just remember, musicians are always most popular the day after they die!

So, are you ready to matter to someone?

Step One

Hate yourself.

You are, presumably, a human being between the ages of alive and dead,

So the chances are you're already there!

Congratulations!

Step Two

Fall in love.

People will tell you that this takes years,

But we have a secret method that will allow you to fall for anyone in under a week:

The trick is, you must be completely unable to tell the difference between love and codependence!

Step Three

Fall in love again.

People will tell you that this is impossible, given the love already inside you,

But they don't know you -

Your love is limitless,

Your heart is a well that goes all the way down,

You can fit everyone in there!

But remember to lie about it!

Love can't exist in the knowledge of other love.

Step Four

At this point you may be debating your decision to totally fuck up your life,

So ask yourself:

Would you rather be happy or interesting?

Would you rather be on the news, or just watching it?

Happy people don't make history,

Happy people make children, then die.

Step Five

Develop a mental disorder that makes you aloof and impossible to contact.

When Someone accuses you of being a bad person,

Call them insensitive!

Instant moral superiority!

Step Six

All of the elements are in place,

Now, start sabotaging your own life.

This isn't crazy, this is research,

This is material,

This is necessary for your personal growth.

Step Seven

You've been in love with two people for a while now,

Tell them about each other!

Whichever one stays is the winner!

Step Eight

Call your boss a fascist dog lover.

Tell your friends fun lies about your other friends.

Tell your mother that she was the reason you tried to kill yourself,

It just isn't depression without total isolation!

Nine

Do something to hurt yourself.

It may be a bicycle "accident",

It may be a razor -

Literal or not, make yourself bleed,

Step Ten

Create something.

Paint your scars on the side of a building.

Write a poem and shout it at strangers.

The misery circus is parading into town and you are holding the banner,

Miles of people are following you,

They are all wearing grey,

A rainbow of grey,

They are all watching as they kick themselves bloody on their own feet.

You have scars,

And everyone wants to kiss them,

This is stigmata pornography,

This is inspiration.

You are why they are still alive,

You are morning in a world of midnights,

You are so brave,

And they want to be brave just like you!

Look at what you have built.

Everything you loved has gone.

Tell yourself it was worth it.

[blessuswithblogs]

Katsura Hashino is a Big Fat Creep and Other Observations

(for the record all uses of the word “queer” in this post are meant in the academic sense as shorthand for a wide umbrella group of gender and sexual minorities and not as a slur i hope that is evident from my past history and status as Big Gay Bitch Who Loves Girls but let it never be said i don’t cover my ass)

A few weeks ago, Catherine: Full Body Edition or whatever gross subtitle it got was released. Catherine has had a very checkered history as one of those games that is just kind of slimy, though it has endured with a cult following and a surprisingly successful competitive community by way of the game's multiplayer mode where you compete to see who can climb The Dream Sex Tower the best. Honestly, I don't know that much about Catherine because it is difficult to think of a game that repulses me more on a visceral level, but I want to do my due diligence and not talk out my ass. One of Catherine's initial claims to fame was that it was by Atlus Japan, specifically the same people who made the much beloved Persona games. This is evident in the game's art, music, overall style of delivery, and being basically hate speech.

The original Catherine was a greasy, misogynistic mess with some really vile politics about trans people in particular. Deadnaming your own fictional character in the credits is some next level petty malice. Full Body returns with, stupendously, a double down on this ideology that is actually kind of comical in how convoluted it gets in trying to decry the Degenerate Queer Lifestyle. The game adds a scene with Rin, who is apparently a gay crossdresser from space(???????), getting slapped away and running away crying from their love interest after he learns The Terrible Truth. In another game, with a different writing team, this could have been a teachable moment about the destructive consequences of taking too narrow a view of human sexuality and gender expression, but as it stands it's just another tiresome example of Trans Panic with a sheepish admonishment from the other characters that gosh maybe slapping their hand away was a mean thing to do.

So we're already firing on all cylinders here, but the best is yet to come. The bulk of the outcry comes from the addition of a weird "true ending" cutscene where Catherine, who is also from space, goes back in time to make everybody's life better. Or something. This is already pretty stupid on the face of it because its Fucking Time Travel Out of Nowhere, but the scene then depicts a pre-transition Erica, the game's trans character who got deadnamed in the credits the last time. There has been a lot of exceptionally tedious discussion about exactly when this scene takes place in the game's chronology and what it means for Erica, and some brain geniuses have tied their thinkmeats into pretzel shapes to prove definitively that all this means is that she delayed her transition in this Better Timeline, that might not actually be better, because Catherine is weird and selfish, maybe. And. Fine. Sure. Okay. Let's accept that for now. Given the game's previous track record, and continuing insistence on using Erica's pretransition name in the credits even in the rerelease, it is meanspirited at best to show her before her transition at all (many real life trans people would be utterly mortified for such a thing to happen to them) and overall just in poor taste and pretty lousy writing at that because it's so unclear what any of this actually means. Since the game has not yet received an official english localization, the context of this scene is to begin with muddled by amateur translators on the internet all with slightly conflicting interpretations of the scene. It's a fucking mess, by and large.

So I would disagree that this is a fake controversy manufactured by those damnable essjaydubyas. Even with the most charitable interpretation possible, it's still just really sketchy and gross. Erica's english voice actress, who seems to be very fond of the character, has been vocal about her dissatisfaction with the new scenes on twitter and has recently come out to say that the localization team is going to try and take some steps to make things less blatantly hateful. Between this and Jennifer Hale's recent tweet about it being time to grab our pitchforks in response to Activision-Blizzard's mass layoffs, I'm starting to think that voice actresses are pretty cool. I mean honestly I always thought that but we're getting off topic. One of the top competitive Catherine players, who was by all accounts really hyped for the release of Full Body, just straight up said on twitter that he was quitting the game because he couldn't support something like that in good conscience. I don't know if he's remained consistent on this position since, but it was a bold statement, to say the least.

Now, whenever an incident like this happens, the inevitable string of More-Progressive-Than-Thou white boys who watched an anime once and thought the bouncing titties were a little much appears to start pontificating about the cause of such untoward elements in media. And it's basically all just a bunch of Orientalist bullshit. Every time. For whatever reason, people still really love to be racist towards Japanese people because it's still sort of socially acceptable when couched in the language of "oh japan!!! ecks dee" and so the neverending procession of softboi neckbeards declared with confidence that Atlus's continual inclusion of Actual Hate Speech towards LGBTQ+ people was the result of the inscrutable Japanese Mind and its Mysterious, Antiquated Culture. Many mentions of the philosophy of Wa, wherein the nail that stands out gets pounded down, and lots of very lovely psuedointellectual claptrap. Evidently, people just seem to think that queer people don't live in Japan, or that they don't fight just as hard as we do for equal rights and protections under the law. They do live there, and they do fight as hard as we do. Obviously. You fucking imbeciles.

In their quest to clearly illustrate their moral and intellectual superiority to the backward, collectivist Asiatic Peoples, these highly reasonable and enlightened manboys forsook a very important logical principle: Occam's Razor. Sure, you could blame jApAnEsE cUlTuRe for Atlus's impropieties and just conveniently ignore all of the fantastic queer media it has produced in recent years like My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness, Horou Muskou, Nier Automata, etc. Or you could go for the simpler and more logically consistent option: Katsura Hashino is a big fat creep. Who is Hashino, you ask? He is the director of every Persona game since 3, as well as Catherine, and all of these games' gross shit and self-contradictory themes of self-acceptance and rebellion against an unust society (unless you're gay, ew) can probably be traced to him and his gaggle of accomplices. In addition to the fact that Atlus games not by Hashino's team tend to just. not have these problems to nearly as large a degree or even at all, Hashino himself has gone on record saying some really kind of hilariously backwards shit. Most infamously, when asked why in Persona 3 literally all of your social links with girls ended up with Hot Makeout Sessions regardless of like. Previously Committed to Relationships. Hashino simply said he couldn't imagine friendships between boys and girls. So that's where his brain is at. Since subsequent games in the series graciously allowed the player the option to not be a Huge Cheating Bastard, one can assume either his moral development has progressed past early puberty or somebody on the team convinced him this wasn't actually a normal thing to think. Given the man's output, I would say it's probably the latter.

It is because of this man's decisions and behavior that so many people are simply unwilling to give Full Body the benefit of the doubt. The game's director is, quite simply, a well known louse, and not in the endearing, Roger Smith way. Once again, it requires far fewer leaps in logic to assume that Hashino is just being a bigoted creep again than to go through some fuckin galaxy brain Kingdom Hearts-esque dot-connecting to justify it as just a LITTLE BIT bigoted not REALLY SUPER bigoted, or simply blaming the whole ordeal on some strange ineffable property of the Japanese Character. He's a gremlin! An overgrown manchild with a warped view of human interaction and society put in charge of games about exploring those concepts for.... reasons. My bet is that his dad knew somebody and then Persona 3 was successful enough for the rest of Atlus to just go "alright fine let him do it while we do mainline games". Unfortunately, Persona became so popular that the mainline games sort of switched places and became side-projects, at least in the eyes of the Western consumer base (which let's be real is the only perspective that any of these Serious Online Commentators even pretend to care about).

So I would once again caution everyone against just assuming that Japan is some sort of quaint anachronistic country of weird gameshows and backwards social mores. This is both a gross oversimplification of an entire culture and the struggles of their own subgroups and minorities and simply a grand display of lacking self-awareness. Like have you fucking seen the guys in the White House? The preposterous media that gets routinely greenlit on prime time TV, theaters, and digitally? Don't make me laugh. The West has no claim to any sort of progressive superiority to anybody else. The white cishet bubble of comfortable middle class affluence might distort what you see of the rest of the world, but believe me: we got problems too. Big ones. Even the presupposed bastions of Demsoc Virtue like Sweden have an awful track record of discrimination and eugenics. But Dazzlyn that's different, you cry! All of these groups and forces don't represent the entirety of Western culture! Yes. Exactly. Oppression is not culturally bound like cuisine or art. It is a nasty, universal thing that worms its way into everything, and it will use any excuse it can find to murder and exploit. It's against Christian values! It represents a genetic defect that must be purged! It's ostentatious and immature! The list goes on. And every time you giggle and go "oh those silly japanese" you're just being another expression of the same vile ideas.

I'm going to relate some of my own personal experiences, because as a noted Big Gay Bitch Who Loves Girls, I feel like maybe I have some authority on the matter? Just a little? Enough that if I make a well reasoned argument it can't be dismissed out of hand? Let's hope. So, what's the gayest game I've ever played? Final Fantasy XIV Online: A Realm Reborn. Look yeah I know I'm talking about it again but come back this is important. Final Fantasy is a series that has had a lot of LGBTQ+ undertones pretty much since forever, and while they have largely been in keeping with the times in terms of tact and representation (the Crossdressing Cloud debacle is a deeply bizarre, uncomfortable sequence in a lot of ways but there's also some genuine Good Gay Shit in 7 like Cloud's surprisingly cute and genuine date with Barret. I think. It's... it's been a while.), by God, it was at least there, and 13 had honest to god Lesbians, Harold in Fang and Vanille. I don't want to say it has pedigree, but the series has dabbled. XIV continues on the tradition with a vibrant world that's actually got a lot of characters and NPCs that are just incidentally there and kind of gay. The adventurer couple that befriended the Tonberries in Wanderer's Palace, a vendor that appeared in the Rising cosplaying as Minfilia at her wife's behest, a miqote lady bathing in the oasis that lets on she wouldn't mind having cute girls stare at her instead of grabby boys, every horny Elezen in Ishgard, Samson and Guydelot (shoutouts to Lulumi Lumi), and probably more that I've missed. More than that, though, is that because FFXIV is an MMO, it is by necessity a social space, and in my experience it has been one that has gone out of its way to be inclusive to everybody, from the GMs handling reports of abusive behavior right up to the top decision makers who made same sex player marriages a thing just immediately on its implementation and letting boys wear the gold saucer bunny costume too (albeit after quite a bit of pleading). The game's got a huge queer community of which I am kind of part of sort of. It's one of the reasons I keep coming back to it. Hell, they've recently partnered with a pride group in Australia to have an FFXIV float in a parade. I usually turn my nose up at such things as meaningless corporate grandstanding, but it does seem to be more meaningful than two boy pastas getting married or rainbow colored oreos because like. Cheesy as it sounds, it's more than just a brand to a lot of people, it's a place, sometimes the only place, they can go to feel safe and accepted in a community. Having official, vocal support from the dev team means genuinely a lot, I think.

Now, there is one quality about this game of which I am speaking that might strike you as noteworthy: it is Japanese. It's made by Japanese people, in Japan, under a Japanese company. A middle aged Japanese man goes up on stage in Gunbreaker cosplay to speak in Japanese about the upcoming expansion, while a meme obsessed gremlin translates for him. It's not perfect, there are problems, etcetera, why do I even need to qualify that in 2019, when everything sucks, god. But it's better than most things. I hope that it serves as an example to people that even in the supposedly regressive countries of the world, queer communities are still living, fighting, and sometimes even being heard, and that the only thing you're enriching by dismissing them wholesale as socially backwards is your own internet penis. And nobody fucking cares about that you simpleton. I expect 5.0 to be gayer than ever before because they're taming up with Yoko Taro to do a Nier themed raid and by the 12 Warrior of Light Dazzyn Reed is going to kiss 2B or an equivalent model right on the robot lips.

[maumeetsworld]

Welcome to your tape, bitch

Oh. My. God. This show is the perfect example of how I am actively ruining my life with the conscious decisions I make. I spent one week hate-watching it mainly because I wanted to understand the whole controversy around it contribute to all the shitposting happening on Tumblr. So there I was, sitting on my couch, ready for some Netflix & Chill - the real kind, not the Grindr-enabled one - and then I heard Hannah Baker's voice, which led me to the following point:

1. How conceited is this girl?

I knew this was shit the moment I heard her saying she wasn't going to send her victimizers a podcast because she wouldn't make it that easy for them, so instead she sent them plain old cassettes. Bitch, seriously? You're dead, whatever makes you think that people who dgaf about you when you were alive, will do it now just because you took the easy way out? Next time you want to guilt-trip your classmates from the grave, at least wait till after they've contacted you through a Ouija board.

And don't even get me started on her self-proclaimed moral superiority. She blames Jessica for her death because she slapped her, but then Hannah witnessed her being raped and that didn't ring a bell on how shitty a person she was too? Like, please, you would have gotten a million tapes yourself had anyone else come up with the same stupid idea.

This brings me to the second point.

2. She was not alone

This show would have been remotely less annoying if Hannah had actually been isolated. In fact, they tried to go there by having her say how lonely, unpopular, and disliked she was, and how everyone was just trying to get her. Except they were not. In fact she made a fuckload of friends throughout the series. She was dating the jocks, experimenting with the Queen Bee, being all deep and intellectual with the gay guy, going to parties at the cheerleader's house, friendzoning the hot geek, and even having her own little version of The Breakfast Club with an Eminem wannabe.

And yet you're telling me that she was unpopular and nobody liked her? Yeah, OK, next.

3. Her reasons to kill herself are ridiculous

Somebody stole the drawing that some anon left in your compliment box? Heartbreaking. Was that a reason to kill yourself? Of course not! Well, on a second thought, maybe the fact that she went to a school where they had compliment boxes was.

Seriously, what were the writers thinking when they were working on this script? Did nobody think that this was stupid af? Suicide is never justifiable, but fuck, if you're going to do it, at least come up with a decent reason. Don't slit your wrists open over someone reading your anonymous poem in class, which, by the way, nobody even knew was you. There's a fine line between crying for help and stirring up drama just for the sake of it. Hannah Baker mostly dwelt in the latter.

4. None of this would have happened if she had not been actively looking for drama

Hannah was upset because the high school jock shared a pic of her undies. He then told the whole school that she was an easy lay. Outrageous. Then one of his friends tried to pull a Donald Trump on her (and grab her by the pussy) because, you know, the high school jock said she was easy, remember? All of that I get.

What I don't get is why over the course of the series she continued interacting with him and everyone else who was mean to her - according to her delusional ass, anyway - and even getting in a hot tub with them. I'm sorry, but that's not the behavior of someone who's deeply hurt and desperate for things to improve. That's the behavior of someone asking for it. No, I don't mean rape. Rape is never justifiable. I mean drama. She was asking for drama and if she didn't t get  it, she would create it.

5. The rape aftermath

OK, fine, the whole rape situation was not cool. Yet her blaming the counselor is what really pissed me off. Hannah, being the dumb ass teen that she is was, wanted justice - which I totally get. What I don't get is why the fuck would she even bother to go and make a scene at the counselor's office and then throw a bitch fit at him when he told her that she needed to move on? Yes, that is a shitty answer, but what was she expecting? He was a fucking counselor for fuck's sake, not Professor Xavier. He couldn't read your mind, girl. If you she truly wanted him to help, then she should have spoken up and spilled the tea on Bryce. Oh, no. instead she went crazy and stormed out of the room ready to do the job, but not before standing outside of the counselor's office hoping he would run after her.

The hell you think you are, Hannah? Cinderella? Who'd want to run behind a crazy, borderline psychotic teen with an attitude problem?

6. The Latin classmate

I'm not done hating on Hannah, but this guy got me raging almost as much as she did. Everything from his crappy personality to his outfit was just terrible, but the real mystery is what he even had to do with Hannah, and why the fuck does he pretend to be all wise and mighty? First of all, if he was that wise, he would have stopped dressing like Danny Zuko.

Also, let me get this straight: Hannah kills herself because in the end she has no friends, yet she entrusted this guy to see her tapes through till they reached the 13th person? Ahem, is this a plothole or just plain stupid writing? I wanted to vomit every time Pedro - whatever, I'm Mexican - would show up just to act all shady and remind pretty much everyone around - mainly Clay, Clay, Clay, and Clay - that they had all killed Hannah.

Hoe, no. Someone friendly enough to give her a ride home when she was pissed drunk didn't kill her, she killed herself. Well, rather the razor blades that she stole from her bankrupt parents' pharmacy did, but those are just details. Also, if Carlos - whatever, I'm Mexican - was such a good friend and concerned about everything that had happened to her, he wouldn't be dropping cryptic af messages, he would have taken the tapes to the police and let them deal with the jock. But no, of course he didn't do that because that would have required a writer to stop mixing vodka and Xanax and realize the show they were producing. No, instead he took the least sporty-looking character rock climbing because that's just how he rolls.

7. Clay

So the guy went from being the wallflower to taking justice into his own hands? What's his name again? Batman? I still don't understand how he's supposed to be all smart and yet not once, not even for a single second, does he stop and think that maybe, just maybe it's better to tell his parents, or any other grown up in fact, about what's happening and about how every other person wants to axe him. Like, I get it, you're angry, you're hurting, but you know what hurts more? That gap on your forehead, you know, the one you got after a car hit you?

Like, didn't anyone notice it? Am I the only one who can see it? Cos, girl, it's so big it makes the gender gap in the workplace look narrower in comparison. Go get stitches, like, now.

8. Where the hell are all the parents?

Underage drinking, tattoos, drugs, reckless driving, guns, teens with huge af scars all over their faces, like, where the fuck are all the grown ups? Are you trying to tell me that not even one adult noticed any of this? For fuck's sake, Clay's scar is putrid and so is half his face now, he's dying of an untreated infection!

9. The fandom

I cannot even begin to explain how annoyed I am at the people who think this is an accurate reflection of the suffering that many of them have gone through. You're wrong, and I don't feel bad saying it. Hannah had multiple opportunities to save herself if she had not acted stupid, dared to speak, and or seek help. She had loving parents, a hot geek ready to jump her, and apparently she was the best of friends with Jorge - whatever, I'm Mexican. No, if she killed herself was because she was starving for attention. She wanted to guilt-trip everyone and make them feel as shitty as they had made her felt except, guess what? She's not there to witness it.

10. The message

That's my issue with this whole fucking series. It plays with the idea of suicide in an almost hedonistic way, it's almost as if they wanted us to picture Hannah Baker laughing in Heaven - or rather in Hell cos she killed herself, obvi - at the sight of all these people suffering over her death and feeling remorseful the actions that led to it. Let me tell you something: Unless you become Casper, you will not get to see this.

To everyone thinking that suicide is as glamorous as 13 Reasons Why made it seen, it's not. You die and that's it. Sure, there will be people devastated by it - your parents - but that's it. There will be no Juan - whatever, I'm Mexican - sending tapes on your behalf or Clay growing a vagina in the middle of his forehead during his quest to uncover the truth. You'll be gone and that will be it.

In conclusion, 13 Reasons Why is a steamy pile of trash from start to finish and was clearly targeting all the dumb af teens who also thought that The Fault in our Stars is the epitome of modern literature. It's pretentious, it's boring, it's full of plotholes, and it will make you rage from start to finish. Needless to say, this is my opinion and that's about it. If you don't like it, well... Welcome to your tape, bitch.